#and you don't even find creation fun or a worthwhile persuit on its own. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

p1ckthep01son · 2 years

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the thing about making any form of art is that i literally do not enjoy any second of the creative process i just am constantly forced to imagine things against my will and if i don't let them out of my head in a tangible form sometimes i feel insanely guilty and it makes me wanna kill myself more so i have to let the art out but it's hard and ugly and i'm not good at it and it isn't fun so i end up being just as sad as i was before if not sadder but there's tangible art there and i think that's supposed to be beautiful but it just makes me more tired . does anybody else relate to this

#i literally hate being “”“”an artist“”“” it sucks soooooo badly all of the time #it's like what if you wanted to create but literally everyone around you was way better than you'll ever be and you had nothing new to say #and you don't even find creation fun or a worthwhile persuit on its own.#like i can't just “draw because it's fun” or “write because it makes me happy”#i just have to do it or i feel bad. but i hate the entire process and wish i didn't have to bother #it's all about the end product and unfortunately my end products are always various states of total shit

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