#and you could do silly shenanigans w the clones

[felikatze]

oh wow i do NOT like conquest chapter 15. this map in revelations is much better for sure

[zoeykallus]

Your writing is so so good! I love how you nail the characterisations! If I may place a request - I feel like having a bit of a laugh - maybe some shenanigans/pranks with either the 501st or the Batch w reader? 🙌 143 ❤️

Aloha! Thanks you so much! :))

Shenanigans? Sounds good to me! But what's '143' about?

Fives / Wrecker / Hardcase x Reader HC's - The Prankster

Fives

He is a professional when it comes to playing pranks. Sometimes you could think that he has nothing else on his mind.

You have a date, and you wait for him at the appointed place. You finally see Fives running down the hallway in your direction. He has a grin on his face, but he seems rushed.

When he reaches you, he grabs your hand and pulls you along with him.

"Are we running from Rex again?" you ask, hurriedly keeping pace with him.

"Yep."

He pulls you into a storage closet and closes the door behind you. He turns to you, still grinning broadly.

"Hello, Mesh'la" he finally says, pressing a heartfelt kiss to your lips.

You return the kiss, but then cross your arms in front of your chest and ask, "What have you done this time?"

Fives starts laughing, trying to be quiet. He may be a prankster sometimes, but he just looks adorable when he's having such a good time.

"I put hair dye in Rex's shampoo. He's walking around with 501st blue hair now."

You can't help but smile at the thought.

"FIVES! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Rex yells down the hallways, and he sounds anything but happy.

"He sounds really pissed," you say quietly.

Fives suppresses a giggle and says, "I know."

Once the coast is clear, he takes your hand and says, "Come on, I have an idea for a prank to annoy Kix, but I need you to do it."

You pull your hand out of his and say, "Leave me out of this."

"Come on Cyare! It'll be fun! We're a team, aren't we?"

You sigh, "Not when it comes to pissing people off, Fives."

He gives you a pouty look.

"Don't look at me like that"

"Just a prank, completely harmless"

"I don't want to"

"Please, just this once"

You know him, you know it won't stay with this one request, and still you give in.

"Okay, out with it. What are you going to do?"

Fives grins and asks, "Do you know where we can get fake blood?"

Wrecker

He can be a pretty silly prankster. When he shoved your cake in your face on your birthday after you blew out the candles, it was admittedly pretty silly and surprising. But Wrecker never does things like that out of spite, quite the opposite.

Wrecker tends to play tricks on people he likes. So not only do his brothers have to put up with his pranks, but so do you. Sometimes he hides your stuff, wakes you up with a false alarm or hides your underwear just before you want to take a shower.

It can be annoying, but before it gets too serious, he always comes out with the truth.

And most of the time, when you're not the target of his jokes, his goofy nature is really amusing.

One night, Wrecker decides to garnish Crosshair's face with piles of whipped cream. When the sniper gets up the next morning with his pillow and face full of whipped cream, you can't help but burst out laughing, which is hard to get under control again.

You'll probably never forget Crosshair's deadly stare.

"Where's your stupid boyfriend?"

As Crosshair comes closer, your laughter dies. You look around and in your bed is the spray can of whipped cream still adorning the Sniper's face. He sees the can at the same moment you do.

"I swear it wasn't me," you say, startled.

Crosshair snorts, "I know you wouldn't dare. That's why I'm looking for Wrecker."

You shrug your shoulders helplessly.

Mumbling curses, Crosshair goes off to look for his brother.

You swing your legs out of bed, put on your pants and slip into your shoes. Even as you stand up, you almost fall. Wrecker has glued your shoes together.

You sigh softly, "Oh Wrecker."

Hardcase

This guy is always full of energy and naughty ideas. Even Fives is on guard when Hardcase was up ahead of him in the break room or at the coffee machine. Once he switched the sugar with the salt and a bunch of clones salted their own coffee before the whole thing was exposed. Hardcase sat at one of the tables in the cantina, with his sweetened coffee, grinning silently to himself.

Stink bombs, items glued together, equipment gone - "That was probably Hardcase."

However, he's always spared you so far, and you fervently hope that doesn't change, some of his pranks are quite unpleasant after all. But the worst is when Hardcase works on pranks together with Fives, which is why you are quite nervous when the two of them meet you together and both giggle.

Hardcase gives you a kiss and Fives nods at you with a grin.

"What have you guys been up to?" are your first words to the two.

The men grin at each other, then Hardcase tells you, "Wait until you see Dogma."

And you can see immediately what they are talking about. Dogma is stared at by everyone, and you hear laughter here and there. His entire armor is dyed pink and decorated with Hello Tooka stickers.

Dogma comes straight at the three of you, looking angry. You bite your lower lip to keep from laughing.

"You," Dogma spits out, pointing at Hardcase and Fives, "This is your work, am I right?"

Hardcase shrugs and says, "I don't even know what you mean."

Dogma's look gets even angrier.

"You'll pay for that!"

"Why don't you get a spare suit of armor," Fives says, waving it off.

"Can't! None are available right now, a new batch isn't coming until tonight, and we move out in an hour! I can't go into the field like this! What if the general sees me like this?"

Hardcase says with a grin, "Well, he can't miss you in that outfit. But maybe he'll think it's cute."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

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[beelieveinfandom]

Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers)  back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just.  just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on"  to "why the fuck is he  a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible  because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all  :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying.  me, after everything i've done for this council.  i am betrayed.  heartbroken.  never shall trust again.  i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy)  but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

[sanjuno]

NRT+SW: That We Answer To Our Stars

Just remember that you people asked for this and if I end up posting a story concept that you love and want to see as a fic? Be well aware that all of these outlines only have one thing in common:

I HAVEN’T WRITTEN A SINGLE SCENE FOR THEM.

Which means I won’t be turning them into fic for a year at least so... *handwaves* Encourage me IRT your favourite WIP of mine, because finishing one of those will clear up space in the docket for a new story to get some attention.

Now, these outlines can get kinda disjointed but at least you’ll get to see a bit of how my brain works when I plot out stories.

THE SCENE!

>Kaguya’s multiverse trip goes wonky b/c best crossover fodder scene

>Uchiha Clan dumped wholesale on Rim World/Wild Space World in SW’verse. All the Uchiha Clan. All the Uchiha since ever.

->World is XL planetoid version of TG44, with added biome options b/c YOLO (unless you’re in the Uchiha Clan I guess b/c then you get to Live All The Times?)

>Indra, Madara, and Sasuke separate ppl w/ wiggy chakra resonance. V disorienting.

->Ninshu gets Dialled Up To Eleven = Force Bonds! Force Bonds everywhere!

-->Entire Clan gets Highlights Reel of Historically Important Memories (also so much purposely induced trauma wow WTF.)

--->Mass Meditation required to untangle/unfuck heads

>Entire Clan now Force Sensitive BTW

->WTF w/ crazy Nature Chakra infesting everyone? Uchiha are Not Pleased.

-->Upside: Force Bonds/Ninshu Super Connection can be used to awaken Sharingan w/out Psyche Destroying Trauma so yay for that

>All Uchiha now have Kaguya’s est. life span. Also nubbin horns and forehead sensory organ b/c aliens are a SW thing I can do this now (don't know if want full-on third eye or just funky Clan Marking thing? Hm...)

THE PLOT THICKENS/ACTUALLY STARTS BEING A THING!

>Sep. forces land on new Uchiha Homeworld b/c shenanigans and The Force Likes To Meddle

->Sasuke introduces said forces to Kirin b/c is reminded of T7 mission to Land of Iron? Or Snow? Dunno which but Naruto’verse says machines = bad juju so Sasuke is 100% justified ok thanks.

>212th follows. Obi-wan is v concerned by the Uchiha

->Entire Pop. of Planet is FS WTF is this nonsense?

-->Clones v impressed at least. Free-range jedi are badass why were they not informed of this being an option? (Clones made for jedi = have a hard time leaving GAR b/c existential dissonance when no jedi for retired soldiers? Also Kamino sucks and slavery sucks more but now the Clones who don’t want to be soldiers or recycled can Take A Third Option! So much Clone chatter about the Uchiha thing wow.)

>Madara is sent to be Senator b/c Jedi are Very Insistent that this Planet be part of the Republic.

->Madara terrifies all the politicians b/c Uchiha Hate Politics (they're too blunt and the see too much) but Madara is best at it v good at lying without saying anything untrue.

-->Madara knows Palpatine is skeevy b/c Uchiha See All The Things and You Can’t Fool Me With Such A Weak Illusion, Foolish Human and now there are clashing manipulators and Your Attachments Make You Weak and this is going to get out of hand so quickly I just know it. 

>Sasuke is apparently still best Prophecy Child Bait and Anakin is Conflicted b/c how can he be attracted to someone not Padme?

->501st would like to adopt b/c last time Anakin fucked off without backup Sasuke came back 5 minutes later with Anakin hogtied over his shoulder and the Seppie base on fire. Sasuke is so unimpressed b/c That’s Not How You Infiltrate Enemy Lines, You Moron

-->Sasuke is still 100% going to seduce Anakin and Padme b/c his life is Not Complete without an Idiot to yell at and a Crazy Berserker who likes to pretend she’s The Sane One to ride herd on.

--->Obi-wan is Done With All Of Them b/c Sasuke isn’t even pretending to try and hide his intentions b/c if they get fired Sasuke can just take them back home for a proper marriage. Mikoto is So Proud of her boy. 

>Madara and Mace have ‘sip and bitch’ IRT Palpatine being an evil fucker

->At some point Madara will wonder out loud what Palpatine is grooming Anakin for? Mace is Concerned by this revelation. Madera is not.

-->Sasuke had Issues IRT not sharing well with other children. BTW Mace Sasuke is planning to steal away Anakin and marry him. Don’t worry he will be returned eventually and so will his wife.

--->Mace thinks Anakin had it coming. WTF was the boy thinking? Did he really think he could hide anything from a temple containing several thousand telempaths? Jedi can get married, it’s just considered polite to ask first and go through the counselling with the Mind Healers beforehand. (Idea! Coruscaunti Jedi treat marriage the same way the Japanese treat Gun Control. Lots of paperwork and regular mandatory psyche evaluations and pervasive low-key terror at the idea of having one.)

->Madara will hear the “too much fear in him” story and cackles

-->Slaves have to please their Masters to survive. Anakin was freed to be a Jedi so if not a Jedi then he’s a slave again? No Fear = Be A Jedi (Not A Slave) and now Anakin is The Hero With No Fear

--->Therefore everything the Council dislikes about how Anakin acts was initialized by the Council. Mace hates Irony so much. Madara is still cackling in his face.

->Madara wants the aged out Initiates who still want to fight (or even just the Initiates who don’t suit the Jedi lifestyle)

-->He has a Clan to maintain! About 25% of the Uchiha never fell in love or fell in love with non-Uchiha so they need Marriage Options. (Uchiha don’t fall out of love easily either so new potential spouses need to be Impressive As Fuck and the jedi know how to be Impressive.)

--->Species doesn’t actually matter Uchiha’s Forest of Death planet has lots of different options despite being mostly Giant Fuck-Off Trees and the higher your Force Sensitivity the higher your chances are for successful cross-species hybrids. (Madara is planning to keep Obito and Itachi away from the aquatic species for a while b/c they have a concerning fondness for fishes.) Hybrids are viable though b/c The Force loves grand babies.

>Izuna is there as Madara’s Security Chief and he’s having Far Too Much Fun getting to be paranoid for a living. Plus all sorts of time to spend with his wife! (Need to pick name and develop Izuna’s wife beyond terrifying DFAB genderfluid interrogation specialist but at least they’re happy together.)

->Izunami (Izuna’s daughter) and Kagami are tiny children again b/c weird cross-dimensional space-time fuckery is like that

-->Shisui is super amused to be ‘older’ than his grandfather.

->Kagami approves mightily of Madara-shishou’s friendship with Mace (reminds him of Tobirama-sensei!)

->Izunami is 100% in favour of actually getting to ‘grow up’ with her Mom and Dad around this time (although she only really listens to Madara b/c he was her Parental Authority Figure and old habits don’t break) Jedi actually find this comforting b/c even if Uchiha crazy about attachments there are familiar bits there in how they arrange instruction even if the three students at a time thing is weird.

-->Both Izunami and Kagami are So Relieved that their Spouse is the same age as them b/c while they would be willing to wait until the other grew up this is much less creepy.

>Speaking of age fuckery Itachi is smol now and just about permanently leashed to Mikoto’s side.

->Sasuke is v amused b/c Aniki deserves this.

-->Mikoto and Fugaku are the first Uchiha couple to make a new baby and it’s Sarada b/c she’s the only good thing about the Next Gen (Except for Snake Fam but they aren’t a part of this fic boo)

>Obito is Madara’s primary assistant b/c some of the Uchiha are Not Over the whole Killing Us All Off thing.

->Obito runs into Quinlan Vos. Results are hilarious.

-->Brainwashing to the Dark Side ep. goes v differently. (Need to re-watch this ep for details but yes) Obito will rampage over everything b/c dude has No Chill

>Shisui is v jealous of his relatives b/c Itachi is too smol to play with and also has been hijacked by Isami (who will hold her death over Itachi for the rest of forever but again Uchiha don’t really fall out of love so she’s also learning Itachi wrangling skills from Mikoto now.)

->Everyone else is finding Jedi favourites and Shisui misses his ANBU team b/c it’s not like he really had time to make any other friends

-->Sulking Shisui trips over Feemor while waiting for Madara. Apparently Uchiha and Yoda’s Lineage have A Type. 

>BIG PLOT POINT: Uchiha Remember

->’Curse of Hatred’ spun by Madara as ‘plague’ caused by ‘non-native invasive plants’ (Blames it all on Zetsu and says plant was toxic to non-Uchiha) Says is why there are no non-Uchiha in TG44′s population despite stories otherwise.

>Uchiha think the Jedi Code is silly but the Clones are the Best Thing. All Clones look different to FS/Sharingan

>Uchiha have a habit of “stealing” spouses.

->BTW Shisui has No Patience

-->Upside: Feemor is v flattered by the attention and TG44 has a v interesting ecosystem. TF is in everything on this planet like WTF how does this work?

->Kagami is So Proud. Look at his Grandson, so proactive.

-->Starts to ‘hint’ that maybe Madara-shishou should think about settling down.

-->Mace has been meditating and consulting with the other Masters of the Order.

--->War changes everyone. Plus certain contracts between the Jedi Order and the Senate have been voided by the drafting of Jedi Generals. (Look up the details of the Ruusan Reformation for more info on disbandment of Jedi Military Powers and what it means when Senate gives them back the right to raise levy forces.)

-->Jedi don’t need to look harmless anymore just need to look less dangerous than the Seppies and the Sith.

>Uchiha Clan FB keep any of them from Falling to the Dark Side.

->Sasuke finally gets his hooks in Anakin and Padme. Notices the ‘nightmare vision’ problem first time he sleeps over.

-->Kidnaps Obi-wan to ‘repair’ the stress fracture in Anakin’s only familial FB b/c having his partner be so alone in his head is creeping Sasuke out and it’d only get worse if the bond to Obi-wan breaks completely.

--->Obi-wan is too tired to even object and now Anakin is freaking out b/c he’d been so focused on Padme maybe-dying in childbirth that he hadn’t even noticed how sick his Master looks.

---->Oh and also there is a Sith Energy Parasite attached to Anakin’s FS and it’s been poisoning his bonds. Sasuke just facepalms while the Jedi have panic attacks and drags in the genjutsu expert hostile deprogramming specialists.

----->Upside: Uchiha now know what Sith Master’s chakra signature is and can hunt him properly. Also help Mind Healers check all Jedi for similar problems, starting with Active Duty Generals. My the Council Chambers look so much Lighter now. 

>Then some stuff happens where Palpatine is exposed as the Sith Master and there are explosions.

>Plot Twist is that Madara and Mace have been banging and rewriting the Jedi Code of conduct since like their third date and no one picked up on it.

->Mace: *stares Anakin in the eyes* And that’s how you hide an affair, Skywalker.

*jazz hands* And this is how my fics look before I start writing them.