#and you can yknow not like the song without being transphobic about it

[sugaryoats]

Ughhh the Dylan Mulvaney song drama on TikTok is so annoying. This is why I stopped using that godforsaken app as well as the other hellscape (Twitter)

Cis woman here ✋ wearing makeup and going shopping and being stereotypically feminine IS part of MY womanhood. Let her be a woman whatever way she wants!! I do not care how not like other girls you are. You are a sad little person if you put other women down to prop yourself up.

[chimcharstar]

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[almond-assistant]

A very long rant and my opinions on neofeminism

Keep in mind that these are very opinionated, and I really don’t wanna fight with you. I’m only posting this so people know where I stand with this stuff, and so they know what kind of person I am.

Inequality: (the fake scenario here is metaphorical and also taken from a youtube video) Imagine there was a short person and a tall person, and there's a wall. In order to see over it, both people are given a stool of equal height to stand on. The tall person is still taller, and can see farther. Instead of giving the taller person a shorter stool, or a short person a taller stool, how about we give nobody a stool. Instead, give them equal materials to build their stool. Equal opportunity does not mean an equal outcome.

Wage Gap: That thing? It's non-existent; women are actually 'out-earning' men, according to literally every governmental source. And if the wage gap existed, it'd be illegal, considering women recieved equal rights in America in 1972.

Transphobia: Trans people are propped up and given all sorts of support in society! I remember at one point I considered myself transgender (I'm still queer-identifying fyi), and I was treated just as well, if not better, than most kids at my high school. And you know how you guys are so "supportive" of trans-men? Well, guess what. By not grouping him in with the cis men, you are therefore being transphobic by invalidating his identity, implying he is not like the cis man, as he would like to be seen as. Do you call a trans guy a rapist, like a cis man? No. Do you consider him sexist, like the cis man? Of course not! Even if he is, you wouldn't DARE accuse him of that! Right? Because he's an owo smol trans flower boy. By rubbing it in everybody's faces that you/someone you know is trans, you are therefore negating the fact that they'd like to be treated like a cisgendered person in the first place. Same goes for trans-women. FYI, I completely support real trans people!

Transtrenders: Super transphobic! If you want to be babied and called uwu smol then go join the adult baby community. You want to be queer? Just don't label yourself trans! Want attention? Go join a fucking talent show or something idk. Don't have dysphoria? What's the point in calling yourself the opposite gender? I don't get that. Wanna be a futa catgirl? I... I don't even know. Please stop that. Sexualizing trans/intersex people is transphobic. Trying to fit in? I get that. I did that. But please, please. don't rub it in everyone's faces. I actually DO have a bit of social dysphoria, but I used to make it a bigger deal than it should've been.

Patriarchy: I agree that patriarchy doesn't work. But, patriarchy is also basically gone, so I don't agree that it's this really big deal you guys make it out to be. On the other hand, matriarchy doesn't work well either. It takes both genders for lots of things to run smoothly. There are highly positioned women and men. That's what makes systems work, including reproduction and all that jazz. So basically, men are in fact needed. Stop treating them like shit. If you got rid of men, we'd go extinct. I know there's this thing with women's bone marrow or whatever, but that's not really relevant, and it isn't even guaranteed to work. By separating women from men, you are therefore being sexist, because equality doesn't have anything to do with gender. It's like if x=y, then y=x, y=y, and x=x. If x and y was female and male, or literally any gender, this would be the goal of feminism by definition. Without the belief that women are currently in a lesser position in society, neo-feminism falls flat. Speaking of which, you always focus on women, why aren't you including all of the other "genders"? Isn't that a bit sexist of you? Society is giving women everything they don't deserve. That's not equality. And yet you still think women are opressed.

Rape Culture: And before you rush to the comments with "You don't know what it's like to be sexually harassed!", I do, and that's why this topic ticks me off so much. Anyway, by labeling all men as rapists, you are therefore being sexist. And, even though you guys say men/boys can't be raped, they have been, and can be. Males are actually sexually exploited more than women. Furthermore, women can be rapists. Consent doesn't apply to just the woman. If a woman wants to have sex with a guy and he says no, yet she forces him to, it's still rape. Legal sexual interactions require both parties involved to give consent. I read a post on here that said something to the effect of, "If you don't have sex with a fat woman, you're raping her". That... boggles my mind.

Ableism: I have mental illnesses too, so this also pisses me off. I mean, I get that some people are wheelchair-bound or don't have the same mental abilities as a neurotypical person. I think it's great that we're helping to accomodate these people! But when you call everything that could even possibly leave out someone other than the neurotypicals ableist, it's frustrating. Literally anything could be ableist or classist. Eating pizza? No, this is ableist because some people have diabetes and can't eat certain things. Running gear? Ableist. Some people have to use wheelchairs, either because they were born paralyzed in the legs, or because they're too obese to move. Brain exercises? No, get that out of here. That's offensive to people with autism or the like, because their brains don't work like that, and it implies they're not good enough. therapy? Kill it with fire. You're saying we neurodivergents are not ok? It's like you don't care about people that want to get better. There's such thing as a target audience, so now let's see.. Pizza? Oh! That's for people who want a quick, cheap, and easy meal! Running gear? That's meant to interst people who enjoy being fit and maintaining their cardiovascular health. Wheelchair-bound folks have specialized exercises for keeping their muscles healthy. Running would not be as effective of a way for them to do that. Brain exercises? For people who want to keep their brain sharp and improve certain areas where they might have weaknesses. Again, people such as my brother (who has medium-high functioning autism) can have special exercises provided to them. But when companies manufacture products that leave out the neurotypical person, nobody thinks twice. So much for equality.

Fatphobia: I do agree that this one exists, although I've never experienced it myself, since I myself have problems gaining weight and keeping it on. I'm actually guilty of fatphobia, but hear me out. I don't mind if you're overweight, as long as others don't have to make special accomodations at no cost to the one being accomodated. If you're 500+ pounds and/or you need a wheelchair and two seats on a plane, I'm calling you out. There's no way you could be that fat without doing it to yourself or having a disability. I don't mind these things if you do have a disability, I understand you couldn't control it then. But if you're just sitting in your bed all day stuffing your face with cheese curls, you have no right to whine about fatphobia, as you could've easily prevented it. Mental disorders such as depression or anxiety that may lower your motivation so low that you don't care, I also get, since I've been in that situation plenty of times. Regardless though, I will not say you are beautiful. This is my personal opinion, and I know others may find obesity attractive, or even erotic (which is in itself fatphobic), but I do not. There are people who don't actually find it pretty, but still say it is. Please stop that. Speak your mind, yo. It's kinda sad that others shape your views, and if you don't agree entirely with the flock, you're not one of them, yknow? That's like... a cult or something.

Classism: I'm soft on this one, since I've been in and out of financial stability throughout my childhood and it sorta fucked me up. But again, calling everything classist is just not right. Songs about fancy cars and diamonds are praising the lush life, not making lower classes feel bad. If anything, those songs help them work harder to achieve their own dreams and have their own great life. But again, it's all about the target audience.

Racism: Racism was originally based off of fear and confusion. Other races had never seen a different skin color than their people's, and thought they were a different breed or species. The reason europeans and americans viewed africans as animals, is because they didn't know what else they could be. African society wasn't as developed, and the African people exhibited very primitive behaviors, as opposed to the educated caucasian. After a while, the african people taken to other lands as slaves, started to dislike that life and form their own opinions and values. The white people learned that the Africans were just humans of a different color, and eventually softened up a bit. But they couldn't abandon their ways of life, so the slaves slaved on, and the rich got richer. These values passed through generations, and eventually someone said, "Stop, these are people too, let's set em' free.". Though, yes, some families still teach their children to be racist, they don't imprison them anymore. Schools do a very good job of describing the treacheries of racism and slavery so it doesn't happen again. Most of my friends (and my boyfriend who I love so so much) are of color, in one way or another. Shit, I'm like, an eighth native american. I do consider myself white though, I'm Norwegian and Irish, for the most part. But I'll still honor my roots. Anyway, even modern racism is still based on fear. Islamophobia stems from terrorism, Black violence comes from stories of gangs and police shootings, and lots of other xenophobia stems from stereotypes. I'm completely against racism, trust me. But when you separate white from black and call white people scum, and call people of color 'strong, independent', and discard white people, it's kinda confusing. Racism applies to race, and caucasian is a race. Get it together.

Cisphobia: That exists. Cisgenderism/Heterosexuality are still identities, whether you want them to be or not.

Sexualities: Cool, You like people (Or you don't, if you're ace/aro). I know these sexualities were shunned before but most people are really accepting now! Just not the weird demonsexual things. Some people don't understand that too much. I sure don't.

Genders: Same as sexualities, don't get too crazy and people are cool w/ it.

Mogai and Neopronouns: Shit, get them out of here. You're making actual LGBT+ people look like a joke.

Anything I didn't mention that you'd like to hear my opinion on? Leave an ask! All interaction is welcome, though not all is wanted. Regardless, I'll try to be kind to you. I really have no reason to be rude to you if I don't know too much about you.

-Kevyn (almondassistant)

[elfrightsactivist]

Hey. Im a beginning writer and I saw your post about trans characters. Im cis but i want to do it properly. What would you like to see? How do I make them come out? Sorry i just want this to be good yknow? Thanks

Hi there! Thank you for asking, and never apologise for wanting to be respectful about including people. I wish more people did that. 

I tried to make this short at first but it’s just impossible for me, so buckle up because I’m passionate about this. 

Same as with writing any minority, including trans people in your story doesn’t mean you get to talk about the experience of belonging in said minority. While you might have some empathy, unless you’re basing your trans character’s story on a specific experience of a real person, you have an enormous chance of being misguided by pop culture and its obsession with turning us into tragic, suffering figures only there to be pitied or as a way to shock the audience or as a way for the writers to get diversity cookies. We’re just people, and even if we do have traumatic backstories, let us talk about them in our own terms. Make a character that just happens to be trans, but don’t focus on that part of their identity because that bit is not yours to tell.Example: Madeline is an actress. She likes sci-fi and is currently studying French literature while she follows her passion for theatre. She also sings and plays the ukulele and piano, she has a YouTube channel where she does operatic covers of video game themes and makes nerdy songs about popular fictional characters, and wants to play the main part in a West End musical one day. She knows it’s hard because she’s trans, but she trusts her abilities, and she’s grateful for the few fans she’s gotten from YouTube who are super supportive.

Don’t be misguided by stereotypes. 99% of trans women don’t dress like drag queens, trans men are not butch lesbians who just desperately want a dick, and not every trans person has a tragic past with their family because of their identity. Also, no need for your trans char to be 100% feminine or masculine to PROVE they really are trans, and there’s no need to be a short-haired, flannel-wearing, very non-gendered white thin model in order to be non-binary. Example: Madeline has a girlfriend and two dogs. She lives in a small flat and struggles to pay rent, but she’s happy. Every Sunday she visits her dad. She’s an only child, and he absolutely adores his daughter and her girlfriend and likes to cook for them. She’s got her differences with her mother because she wanted Madeline to be a doctor, not a starving artist, and thinks she’s irresponsible, but Madeline was tired of trying to live out her mother’s dream and has chosen to take some distance. 

How to make them come out? The same way you’d say anything about anyone’s past: respectfully. Don’t make someone find out against their will. Don’t have someone from their past misgender / deadname them and then put them in the awkward situation of having to explain themselves to both the people they once knew and the people they’ve chosen to surround themselves with in their current life. Everyone in my life knows I’m trans, and if they don’t yet, it’s because of circumstance, not a cunning plot of shame on my part.If you do want to have them be stealth, don’t treat the moment of coming out into a huge betrayal. No more hiding genitalia because they’re ashamed to tell their partner, no more telling their date and their date storming off because they trusted you, how could you not tell me, [deadname], if that’s even really your real name, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU HIDING, ARE YOU A MURDERER, and so on and so forth. Example: Madeline is accepted in a new acting group, and makes a new friend. They hang out, compliment each other’s Star Trek t-shirts, and have rehearsals together. They talk about parts they’d played in the past, and Madeline mentions that in high school she was given all the male parts even though she tried to get the female ones, but they wouldn’t give them to her because well, we all still thought I was a boy back then, but one teacher ever gave her the one she wanted, and she was her favourite, and hopes to invite her in the premiere of the play. “Aw, that’s so sweet,” her new friend says, who has met trans people before and realises that Madeline wants to focus on the affection for her teacher and not her own past at the moment, “I’m so glad you showed them who’s the boss, I hope your teacher makes it. If you ever wanna talk more about that time i’d be glad to listen.” They keep eating their ice cream. Here you can easily pull a Raymond Holt and make her openly trans but the people around her just don’t seem to get it because she’s way too casual about it. I know I’d love to do that at some point but I tend to write in fantasy universes where it’s not a big deal in the first place. If you can do that, even better. In sci-fi and fantasy, it’s always so refreshing to see people who actually imagined worlds without transphobia. 

Now, what I’d like to see. I kept this one for last, because I’m picky.I guess, no more transphobic violence. No more showing who the bad guy is by verbally / emotionally / physically attacking the trans character for shock value.No more trans character being there just to be trans. Make a Krem, who’s there to tell weird stories of past jobs and be the second in command; make a Rhett Hennesey, who’s there to be the protagonist and kill paranormal creatures and find his destiny; make a Nomi Marks, genius and very queer and an incredible hacker, kind, badass, there to be part of something bigger and share the love; make a Cheri Littlebottom, forensics expert extraordinaire, who makes friends and reinvents herself and claims her identity tooth and claw and earns people’s respect and will not get rid of her amazing dwarven beard or her lipstick and high heels; don’t make a Sophia Burset, who is forgotten after a few episodes and she’s only there to waste a talented actress’ abilities and remind people that hey, look, there’s a trans woman in here, look how tragic her life is, look how her identity is tearing her family apart and literally put her in prison. And in the end, because I’m picky, no, don’t make a Krem or a Rhett either, because they’re treated as cross-dressing women from their narratives, and they’re both awesome and deserve better than that.In the end, I’d like to see trans protagonists. Trans teachers, and lovers, and criminals, and superheroes, and space captains. Feminine and fat and black and Native and Mediterranean and alien and elven and muscled and disabled and ugly and hot and creative and famous and feared trans people. Two or even three trans people per story. Non-tragic trans people. Well-rounded, loved characters, whose motives are something else besides being trans, whose families value them, or if they don’t, it’s not because of their gender.

Write people. And if they talk to you and tell you that they’re transgender, hear them out, and make it happen. But make them people first.