#and yknoooo this is the 8th anniversary this year
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november is a weeeeird weird month
#i used to really love novembers#and i still do but now it’s such a weird mix of things#no matter what above all#november is for nostalgia .. good and bad#bc on the one i am genuinely genuinely always SO nostalgic for november of 2013#best november ever#and in the mix of that is also#the big Trauma anniversary of the worst days of my life#the 17-19th#and yknoooo this is the 8th anniversary this year#which is INSANE#and it’s been easier every year since the 5th.. 5th was brutal#but it’s still a heavy thing that hangs around through it#or y’know something happens like tonight. i get triggered and suddenly#i am riiiiight there again seeing it like a movie#and 8 years later still telling myself that shouldn’t have traumatized you like it did#that happens to everyone#no…no it literally doesn’t (that thing that happened not gaslighting urself lmao)#it is what it is gam it is what it is#*fam#personal
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