#and yet it seems like everyone is having such a breeze with everything meanwhile I'm floundering trying to find myself????

[charmre]

The more I go through business grad school, the more I realize I don't belong and belong in a more creative field

But, idk how stable the creative fields are right now, so I'm in business school trying desperately to fit in yet not????

:////

[cho-aaacho]

(HC's) Student Council President! Fushiguro Megumi

Masterlist

Tags : Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Crushes, Secret Admirer, Love Confessions, First Love, Soft Megumi, Megumi needs a hug.

He is very strict. At school, he always follows the rules. He doesn't tolerate anything.

Surprisingly, despite his stern demeanor, his voice is very gentle, earning him respect from everyone.

Sometimes you might struggle to catch his words, and it's almost as if he were whispering or murmuring something.

He's the captain of the baseball team, and he has a fan club.

Actively participating in social events and helping students in need. He has generously helped your club's activity by recruiting new members.

A model student in school, he is also one of the smartest students in the top 10. All the students find him attractive.

Always dressed in a tidy uniform. He ensures a pleasant smell by using a quality softener. Also, you can't see dirt on his shoes!

He also shares a close bond with the young teacher, Gojo Satoru, and is always with him in the library. Sometimes, if you are lucky, you will find them in the bookstore or bakery near the school.

You'll find him on his bike and go home with the vice-captain of the baseball team, Itadori Yuuji.

Or maybe, during times when he's feeling down, he might eat lunch alone while drowning himself in romantic music.

He loves animals, and he leads a club activity dedicated to rescuing stray animals, providing them with nice food and safe shelter. The principal allows him to do that.

You love watching him during his baseball team's matches. Passionately cheering and shouting his name. Even if you're not officially a part of his fan club, your love for him is still floating in the air.

Perhaps he notices your motive, realizing your affection and feeling your love, and there's a chance that he's aware of it. Yet he maintains silence, choosing not to acknowledge your admiration.

Sometimes you'll find him strolling by your classroom, walking like a fragile flower in your hands. So... beautiful. It was almost like an angel—too much love. With Yuuji and Inumaki-senpai following side by side, he looks so friendly.

On other days, you'll see him accompanied by Gojo-sensei, his hands holding a mountain of papers and blabbering, protesting, and showering his dear teacher with a flame of anger.

Meanwhile, you just sit there alone, resting your chin on your palm, lost in daydreams of a happy ending with Fushiguro Megumi.

Despite his contributions to your club activity, your interactions with Megumi always remain the same. Just casual conversation—nothing extraordinary, nothing special.

Yet an undeniable feeling popped into your head, flowing through your mind and pouring into your hands. Your admiration has blossomed into something ethereal. It's so divine and endearing. You couldn't find any good words to describe them.

Perhaps...

...love?

In the evening, when the sun goes down and is replaced by the hues of twilight and crimson, you find Megumi standing behind your locker. With his arms folded across his chest, he leans with effortless poise.

"Oh... you," he utters. A smile rendered his features. It was a smile you'd never seen on his frame. It's not just a smile. You almost saw the star in his eyes, or probably the color of a rainbow. 

You wait for Megumi to finish his sentence. His hesitation lingers, tangled in a thick atmosphere, and he is surrounded by the sounds of the autumn breeze.

Finally, he breaks the silence. "There's something I need to talk about with you. Perhaps it might seem inappropriate or weird. But... I have to say this because Gojo-sensei told me so."

"About what, Fushiguro-kun?"

"You know I've consistently supported your club activities, and it's not like I expected repayment. I've just come to realize why you always hold a top position on my priority list."

He sighed and smiled. "I often believed it was my hobby of helping others that led me to do everything for your club. Yet, I'm just realizing that it's more than that. Your smiles during our conversation bring me joy, and I love when you say 'thank you' to me. Despite it being only a simple conversation, I truly cherish these moments we share."

"I love to see you cheering for me during my baseball match, and I always set my eyes on you from the bench. Despite how stupid I am during games, I try my best to make you proud of me."

"...and," he stopped, then gazed at you gently. "Gojo-sensei thinks I might be in love with you because everything you do always warms the empty side of my heart. So I want to know if you feel the same as me. I love you, and what about you?"

[mochikeiji]

Since We Were Seven

↠ Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Akaashi Keiji

↠ Warning: small mention of death, small angst but fluffy ending

↬ Word Count: 3,040

↣ a/n: hi!! this is a really late entry for the BokuAka week! This was suppose to be in Day 1 but I saw the content late :(( I hope you all enjoy!! Happy @bokuakaweek2020!!

Summary: Keiji has always been fond with light novels as a child (influenced by his lovely mother) often you would see him during his free time drowning in an ocean of black ink in a paper boat in any local library and bookstore. Then there's his childhood friend, Bokuto Koutarou, having to just stare at the coffee in his hand in wonder of an idea that will surely change everything they've had.

⇢ Day 1: Confession/Childhood, Coffe Shop AU

✎﹏

Nothing says warm summer breeze than kids running around the park getting down and dirty without a care of the world. Some were seen to be catching bugs that surely made some cringe in disgust, some were seen repeatedly sliding down despite the hot surface their bottoms were receiving, and some just getting chased in a lovely game of tag. That is, until someone gets tripped over.

For a certain owl haired child that stood out of the crowd, all he could do was repeatedly receive a volleyball— in a sloppy way, but in his own world laughs at his mistakes and carries on with his little hobby.

"Akaashi! Look, look! I made this cool move, watch." with excitement rising from his, the boy, Keiji, he had called couldn't help but give him all of his attention as young Bokuto tosses the ball in the air with his small hands. Backing up a little in a receiving stance, eyes determined to catch it, only to have the ball land on his head with a loud thump, causing Bokuto to whine at the slight sting and hold his head on the grassy ground.

"Are you okay, Bokuto?" Akaashi blinked, almost unamused at his best friends mistake. This wasn't an old sight to him.

"You could've atleast be a bit more worried to me." Bokuto pouts, finally sitting up with his hands in between his legs as his hair somehow deflated within his mood.

And yet young Akaashi Keiji found that oddly an adorable perk of Bokuto.

"I'm sorry, Bokuto," he offers a small smile as a pause, "It's just that I knew you'd make a mistake, I was just waiting for you to call me if you needed assistance."

The golden eyed child didn't seem impressed with his reasons, pouting even more with the spikes of his hair almost wilting on his head.

"I knew you would get up on your own anyways. I didn't want to underestimate you."

His ears twitched and perks up. Finally out of his own dejected mode, he sprungs up with sparkling eyes, "Akaashi, that's so sweet of you!" laughing loud with his head thrown back without a care of the world staring at him like a mad child. His laughter soon dies down as he stares deeply into gun metal like eyes.

Akaashi swore he stopped breathing at that time of tension.

"But seriously though, I don't mind if its you who runs to help me up! I know you won't be mean to me like other kids," he then glances at the thick white book on the smaller males hands, "I'm just confused why you seem more excited on that book you always read."

Akaashi's mouth opens a bit, unnoticed by the boy infront of him standing out in the light of the sun as he was seated by the shade of the biggest tree in the park. Trying to utter out the words he wished to say, he prevents himself from going any further and just smiles,

"It's a very knowledgeable book I might need, Bokuto."

And that is was when they were seven years old.

Ever since Bokuto was always on his own due to his parents working overseas, Mrs. Akaashi, being a dotting person as Keiji is always took care of him as a child. She thought it would be nice for her son to grow up with someone as a brotherly figure in his life considering it was always just the two of them.

Without hesitation, Bokuto happily allows himself to be raised by the Akaashi family until he was in highschool, already used to living on his own and doing stuff as a proper adult. Even Keiji was surprised to see that he could handle himself so well than he did. Keiji doesn't even know how to cook for both of them.

Finally at his third and final year, Bokuto stared at the other side of the court, almost in hunger— a predator, twirling the ball in his hands expertly. Unlike before when he was a big squishy child. On the sidelines, Akaashi sat on the floor, still intrigued with the book he hasn't yet finished even for years.

The loud swoosh of the ball being tossed up in the air caught his attention away from his book, only to be greeted by a sight he would describe as, "satisfying."

In almost a perfect spiking stance in his eyes, he watches the captains hands fit his entire palm on the balls leather skin. Pupils dilating a bit at the sight of his forearm flexing in instinct, and giving the ball a rough hit that made it smash on the glossy like surfaced floor, almost looking squished by the impact of that and Bokuto's monstrous strength.

Despite having to see him in this state in both practice and matches, Bokuto never once fails to make the black haired male stare in awe at him from a distance unknown to him, but obvious by others.

Exhaling deeply, the captain hooted loudly into the gym air, "HEY, HEY, HEY!" echoing through the males ears, but he smiles and cherishes the sounds and the phrase he has always heard whenever Bokuto was enthusiastic.

"Akaashi! Did you see that? That was a perfect one, ain't it?!" his eyes sparkling like a child during Christmas. One of the lists Akaashi has about Bokuto was a list of, "What Bokuto Does When He's Very Happy" and number three haopens to be, "He will ask for praise."

"I did. It was amazing." even with a poker face, Bokuto has gotten used to Akaashi expressing his emotions with that facial expression. He knows deep inside how genuine the boy is when it comes to words.

And that's what he always loved about him, yet the world prevents him to do so in fear of not being thrown by society, but to be thrown away by the only person who has stuck with my throughout his life when everyone he loved left.

"Hm? You're still reading that book?" his face going from a happy child to a curious one as his eyes focused once more on the book in his hands. It became a habit of his to always notice something in between the males hands. Because of that, he can already describe Akaashi's hands being bigger than his, but softer by the looks of his.

How he longed to hold them.

Not noticing the way Akaashi flinched at the topic, he hides the lower part of his face with the book. To Bokuto, it seemed he was just resuming to the page he marked before talking to him, but to Akaashi, he was hiding his quivering lips and his lightly pink dusted cheeks.

"I haven't finished it, and it's getting to the good part so.." he trails behind, though his tone stayed the same monotone yet honey smooth like sound.

"Alright, alright. I won't mess with ya. But hey, maybe after you read about it, you could tell me what's it all about."

Raising a brow at the captain, "But aren't you fond of books, Bokuto?" he asks, knowing his bestfriend, the captain of the volleyball team is a known enemy to studying. More so, books.

"Yeah, but this book always has your attention since we were kids. It's only natural I listen to my best buddies interest like he does for me!"

Inside Bokuto's mind, he wanted to speak out the words that were punching their way out of his mouth, "I wanted to know how that book made you smile so fondly a lot."

Akaashi on the other hand was touched at his words. But the only thing that rang in his ear like an annoying buzz was the fact that he was labelled, "Best Bud."

But who was he to feel that way?

"I promise, I'll tell you once I finish, Bokuto."

That promise, Akaashi hoped, Bokuto would forget. Because if he still kept asking about it, he knows it'll risk the only thing that made him happy.

Him

A year passed, Akaashi was left alone during his third year. To say it wasn't pleasant was an under statement. He can no longer hear the loud, echoing greets of his best friend in the hallway, he sits alone on the way home in the train when he used to always go with the entire third year batch. Most of all, he was getting lonely during practices. No one was asking him for a toss due to his intimidating presence.

He recalls the time Bokuto was in full uniform infront of his house as usual. Since they walk to school together, Akaashi wanted him to. But he had to point out that he has already graduated.

Being embarrassed, Bokuto dismissed that and offers to walk him to school. He asked why, and his reason just made his day a bit more brighter,

"I didn't want you to be alone."

Now in the present, finally getting a day off from his hectic work schedule. Akaashi finds himself fully relaxed at a cafe, still reading the thick book that was taken with outmost of care during his childhood days.

This time, he was nearing at the end.

"Here's your order, sir! Two cups of coffee with waffles." the lady in the counter chirps in delight at Bokuto. It wasn't everyday you see Black Jackals famous ace order in a small coffee shop away from prying eyes.

"Thank you! This looks wonderful!" he gives a small review with a charming smile that made the lady squeal silently.

After his game against the Alders, he agreed on eating out with Akaashi on his free days since it had been long since the two had hung out after entering the world of growing up.

Akaashi was internally screaming when Bokuto had invited him out. Growing up, Akaashi developed being more expressive. He could be seen to be smiling a lot more than he was as a teenager.

And Bokuto had never cried tears of joy and thanked the heavens for letting an angel down in his life.

But now the ace had never felt more nervous after their first encounter again as grown ups. He couldn't believe Akaashi would be even more prettier than he was before. Meanwhile Akaashi had to hold his breath upon being in Bokuto presence. He was much more broader, taller than he was. And all Akaashi wantes was to hug him tight infront of so much people that day.

Bokuto stood by the side, his mind debating about something as he stares at the two steaming hot beverages and teasingly sweet smelling desserts then back at Akaashi's figure. Even though he had his back turned from Bokuto, he couldn't help but silently gush on how adorable he looks in sweaters.

Suddenly an idea came to his head.

It was now or never.

"Um miss?" he goes back at the kind lady, who was responsive to his call, "Do you mind..Adding something on the waffle? Maybe even the coffee too??"

Akaashi's nose crinckled a bit as the sweet, satisfying and calming aroma hits his nostrils. Not bothering to take his eyes off the book he was about to finish, Bokuto took a seat infront of him with a nervous smile.

"Still not finished with that book are you, Kaashi?" lightly chuckling when Akaashi fumbles as his glasses lightly messes up on his face.

"I-I am now, Bokuto." pushing the bridge of his glasses up, "So far, it was more than knowledgeable than I thought. Mother was right about being inlove with this book." giving himself a tiny smile at the thought of spending the day with his bestfriend, he didn't expect the topic coming from his best friend's mouth almost make him fall back from his chair.

"Speaking of, being inlove, have you met someone these days?" leaning on his hand for support, Bokuto keeps a close eye on the other males expression. Almost wincing when he saw a small blush on his cheeks. The thought of falling inlove with someone hurts him.

"W-well, I haven't been going out a lot due to my papers from work." fiddling at the hem of his sweater, his eyes taking a quick glance at the book that was on its last page with the text formed in bold and slightly bigger, "But I have been inlove with the same person before." whispering under his breath, his hair falling lightly on his forehead for being too long.

To Bokuto, he was losing hope, but growing up with the habit of not being afraid of trying, he still went for his plan. Even though not knowing he might be hurt in the worse case possible.

"I see..Must be a lucky person to catch your attention huh?" After Atsumu told Bokuto he wasn't allowed to be as dejected as he was before, he had mastered the arts of hiding his own sadness behind his eyes as he looks at the swirling cup of coffee.

"I love them. A lot, but.." the pause made Bokuto look up to him in a more focused and serious matter, "I don't think that person will love me." smiling sadly at the book under his gaze, Akaashi could still feel the erratic beating of his heart slowly hurting inside.

"How could nobody love you? You're like an awesome person to be loved!" the ace exclaimed rather loudly, earning a few eyes from the costumers— who luckily doesn't know him to avoid being crowded, and the lady behind the counter who seemed to be watching things unfold between them in anticipation.

Akaashi doesn't fight the blush on his cheeks as he bites the inside of it, he really wishes he could've had more courage into this if it wasn't for his constant over thinking about the outcomes of an unknown future.

"But if that person doesn't love you, Kaashi.." the sound of the cup of coffee sliding on the wooden table across him slowly to avoid spillage, his eyes widened at the creams design.

"I'd still love you."

It was a heart.

Not believing his eyes, he rubs it with the back of his hand, his mouth now opened a little in shock as Bokuto chuckles away the nervousness in his body.

"You're kidding."

"Why would I joke about saying I love you? That's cruel, Kaashi." Bokuto pouts, but for a short moment and offers him a genuine smile, "Would you dare to believe in me, Akaashi Keiji?" he says, in a lowkey flirty way.

The black haired male gulps, his heart unable to rest, but his mind was somehow at ease at that moment, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh, making the male in front of him worry, Akaashi returns the line,

"Would you dare to believe that I too, was inlove with you since we were 7, Bokuto Koutarou?"

Like a volcano, Bokuto's face erupts in different shades of red, his ears lightly steaming from being too flustered. Gaining his composure, he coughes into his fist, carefully grabbing the plate of waffle that was for him, "You tell me."

And next he slides in the waffle to Akaashi, the chocolate syrup drizzled on the plate with the waffle away from it that read,

"I love you since we were 7."

Now it was Akaashi's turn to blush madly at the confession. He could only raise both palms into his face and buries himself into them.

Was he dreaming or was he really living?

To Bokuto, his world finally was at ease knowing he was loved by the person he has been eyeing since he was a child. He was somehow whining at the back of his head how he didn't get to date Akaashi back in highschool so they'd be those couple goals before and what it would've been if he and Akaashi were to lvie together in his lonely house.

Then again, seeing this moment now was like entering the biggest and most awaited match in his life.

"There's no way I can eat or drink this, Bokuto."

"What? Why not!?"

"This is too adorable and heartfelt."

They both share a laugh with eachother. Occasionally bickerking why Akaashi hasn't touched his food, they both carried on a normal conversation despite having each other confess out of the blue. Both were glad that things were still the same, as if they grew up not only as siblings or as friends, but as if they memorized each others lives.

"Hey, now that you've finished your book. Didn't you promise you'd tell me all about it?" he watches as Akaashi finally took a sip of the heart coffee.

Gulping harshly in embarrassment, he taps his closed book nervously, "Why though?" wanting to change the topic, thinking what he might say may be too cheesy for Bokuto's liking.

"Well you always have your attention on the book. I also wanna know how my lover smiles so much about it."

How could you casually say that? He thinks as his face lightly becomes red at the label he was called, "Lover."

With that ringing in his ears for a good hour, he opens the book to the last page, where the bold and sightly big text was written,

"This book was about two lovers who had different worlds, but they grew up together without telling each other how they felt and eventually drifted apart and forgotten each other." he explains to him with a smile, fingers running on the text of his book.

"So why was Mom and you so inlove with that book?" Bokuto grew up calling Keiji's mother his own mom. It wasn't as weird as it sounds, it was warming for Keiji since it felt like they were a family.

"Because in the end, they have gotten together in one place, and said—" Akaashi's smile becomes a loving grin as he shows Bokuto his favorite line in the entire book.

The same line that made his mother and father fall in an endless love even after his death, it was still the most loving line both Mother and Son could hear from their destined lover.

"I've loved you since we were 7."

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 15.02: “Raising Hell”

THEN: Sam shot God! Welcome to the end. Demon!Jack. Last week's non-scary ghosts or spirits or whatever. Strangely missing from the "Then:" Sam's godhole vision. It's actually a very short "Then." Maybe the episode itself is so good, so crammed full of wonderful things, that the "Then" had to be kept brief to make room for all of it.

Or then again, maybe not.

Now. We're still in Harlan, Kansas. A woman holding a scarf over her nose and mouth sneaks into the forbidden zone, and is startled by a neighbor. Or "neighbor." She's seen Close Encounters and knows the benzene story is fake (but if it was true, lady, I don't think that scarf would save you). And yet she's apparently never seen a horror movie, because the fact that her "neighbor" is silently and creepily staring at her doesn't raise any alarm bells. He stabs her a few times and then smokes out into an old-timey ghost who says "Disembowel. D-I-S-E-M-B-O-W-E-L. Disembowel." Well. Okay. She certainly doesn't look disemboweled, but I'll take your word for it. I mean, you spelled it and everything.

Title card. (BTW, you need to check out this very through breakdown of everything you're missing in the title card. It's fantastic.)

Nighttime. Harlan High School. Sam is large and in charge, but the people are restless. And apparently there are "hunters in the zone." Sam gets everyone's attention and tells them the EPA will be here tomorrow (a lie) and they need to stay out of the zone (the truth) and is adorably befuddled when he asks if there are any questions and everyone raises their hand. He's wearing a huge chain around his neck and, unfortunately, has gone back to the undershirt.

[[MORE]]

[[MORE]]

The zone. Dean and Belphagar. Dean's EMF meter is going crazy, and Belphagar says there are spirits about (are they ghosts? souls? spirits?) but they don't like him so they skedaddled. (Do we believe that?) Dean can't believe he's working with a demon again, and Belphagar can't believe he's working with a hunter, and it's the classic buddy comedy all over again. Except it's not a comedy and they're not buddies. (Do I miss Metatron?) He reminds us that his rationale for working with hunters is that he liked Hell the way it was. (Do we believe that?)

There's a fiery blast at the zone border, and even though Dean was facing it and Belphagar was facing in the other direction, Belphagar is the one who points it out and says "escape attempt, eleven o'clock." The bad guys can't cross the barrier, but rock salt can, which is convenient. Dean blasts a spirit away, who I believe is the same one from the "Then" but I can't be bothered to confirm and is relieved that the warding still works. Belphagar expositions that it won't last forever, and these ghosts/spirits/whatever are more dangerous than average. For example, the ghost Dean just shot was Francis Tumbelty, aka Jack the Ripper.

(Sidebar: Okay, I did actually rewind and use closed-captioning to confirm what Jack said, because what I heard was Francis Tomelty. And here's how my brain works: I can't remember my kid's phone number, I can't remember my license plate number, I can't remember to call the guy to fix the garage door opener, but I do remember that musician Sting's first wife was named Frances Tomelty. That's how useless my brain is. But Wikipedia confirms that Francis Tumbelty is, in fact, a Jack the Ripper suspect.)

I know, Dean, I feel the same way.

High school. It's daylight now. The citizens are still restless, someone's wife is "missing," the benzene story is wearing thin (sidebar: I'm still using captions, and they misspelled benzene,) and people are plotting an escape.

Zone. Ghosts/spirits/whatever are gathering in one of the houses. Francis Tumbelty, who does not have a British accent (but it turns out he was born in Ireland but raised in America so okay, I guess someone did their research), informs the group that they were released from Hell by God himself. And all of these spirits know what hunters are. And Belphegar's name is actually Belphegor. Well. So much to learn tonight. Tumbelty says they need to gather the spirits who are still in hiding. And they can break the warding because "Warding is a door, doors have locks, locks have keys." Actually, the analogy I would have used is that warding is a lock but WHATEVER. Their plan is to "make it as ugly as possible for those who stand guard." Well, the ineffective spooky makeup will help.

Outside. Hunters are patrolling the perimeter. Civilians sneak out of the bushes and then walk right down the middle of the dang street. And then meet a couple of very unscary ghosts. Oh no, what will happen?

I don't know, because we cut back to the high school. They found the first woman's body, and Cas thinks they need to tell her family, and Sam's all, can't do that yet, people are gonna panic. They're interrupted by the arrival of Rowena, which was a surprise to me because I covered the guest star credits. Although it shouldn't have been a surprise, since Dean called her for help in the previous episode. (See how useless my brain is?) She pretends to be more interested in Cas than Sam but I'm not fooled.

Sam says "Remember a couple of years ago when we were trying to get rid of Amara," as if that's how the conversation would go, as if that's anything either of them would need to be reminded of. What he really would have said was "You know the soul bomb you made for Amara? We need another one of those."

WHATEVER.

They don't want to use it as a bomb, they just want a way to capture the ghosts. Rowena thinks it would be too difficult, but they're interrupted by someone who tells Sam they have "a situation."

Zone. The situation is that the two civilians are facing down Dean and Belphegor. And apparently they've been standing there long enough for Sam to actually show up at the zone, which is miles away from where he was. WHATEVER. Dean explains that the guy is married to the woman who was D-I-S-E-M-B-O-W-E-L-E-D earlier and came to look for her. (BTW, we're almost 10 minutes in, and this is the first scene with Sam and Dean together.) Sam, in his kind way, tells them they need to go back to the school. Then black goo drips out of their eyes and Dean realizes they're possessed. The whole standing-and-staring part didn't clue him in (WHATEVER) but now he gets it.

Bowlegs! Hair blowing in the breeze! Something for everyone!

Tumbelty appears and tells them if they don't open the warding, the spirits are going to kill these two civilian vessels. The civilians drop to the ground, groaning in pain, and I remember back when the guys would have let the spirits out in order to save two innocent people. Or at least would have been conflicted about it. (WHATEVER.)

However, some unexpected shots ring out, sprinkling the possessed civilians with... confetti? How festive. Tumbelty zaps out and the Winchesters and Belphegor turn to see none other than Arthur Ketch. Who is also a surprise to me. I guess that gig as an insurance agent didn't work out. Dean seems ridiculously annoyed to see him. Ridiculous considering that they were working together fairly recently. (WHATEVER.)

And now, since none of my regular download sources worked out and I'm forced to rewatch on the CW app, I'm sitting through commercials. Like a goddamn animal.

Back at the school. Ketch says he just happened to be in the area when they sent out the call for hunters. Dean's still not pleased. What is his problem? Am I forgetting something? Did they leave on bad terms? His gun, stolen from the BMoL, shoots iron flakes. Which somehow expels the spirit without hurting the vessel. He and Rowena reacquaint themselves, and she holds no hard feelings against him regarding the whole prisoner thing, since he let her escape. Well, you actually bought that escape, Rowena, but okay. There is an uncomfortable level of eyefucking, as least as far as the Winchesters are concerned.

Belphegor shows up and they have to explain to Ketch that Jack is dead and oh, Sam's face, when he says "dead." This is the first time this episode has made me feel anything. Well, anything good. And it turns out Ketch was actually contracted by "an attractive female demon" (seriously, that just means a demon in an attractive female vessel but WHATEVER) to kill Belphegor. Her name is Ardat and I guess she's gonna show up later. Yawn.

At least sad Sammy is good.

Reno? I laughed and said ha ha, I wonder if Amara is here and it turns out she is! (Because, again, I covered the guest stars.) She's getting a massage. Her maseusse is replaced by Chuck, who looks about 10-20 years younger than he did the last time we saw him. (Just for Men. Find it in the men's section.) She's annoyed with his presence. He's rambling. He liked the Game of Thrones ending, which I guess is supposed to signal what an awful hack of a storyteller he is. Or to warn us that we won't like the ending of our own Show. Or both.

High school. Poor Cas has to lie to Restless Citizen #3 that they're looking for the other missing citizens. "You said you'd keep us safe!" the guys says. That cuts deep, man. Meanwhile, Rowena has given Dean a shopping list. She asks him about Ketch, even though, as Dean points out, they've obviously met. "That was more of a torturer-torturee relationship. Fun, but I didn't really get to know him." But Dean doesn't want to play matchmaker, and says she shouldn't get involved with Ketch. "I mean, Sam is right here," he says. "Why don't you guys get off high center and do it?" (No, not really.)

Cas comes up behind Dean, all rumpled and sad and wanting a hug, and he apologizes for "dropping the puck." Dean doesn't want to hear it. He's so very angry, at Cas and at Chuck and at his life being one giant rat maze. Cas doesn't think their whole existence has been a lie, because even though they were in a maze, they were still living their lives in that maze. That's what life is. Chuck sets up the obstacles, but they still run their own obstacle course. Dean doesn't accept this.

It's interesting that Dean is the one who's taking the truth about Chuck so hard. Sam and Cas were the ones who had faith, and you'd think they'd be knocked harder by the realization that there was never a benevolent God. But on the other hand, Sam's so used to being manipulated by outside forces; this is nothing new to him. And Cas has already seen how the sausage is made. So they're both just, yeah, this is how it is, let's deal with it.

However. I'm not feeling the Dean-Cas conflict at all. I don't really care. And I suspect it's going to be a Big Deal. {sigh}

I’m definitely feeling angry Dean. So much.

Zone. Nighttime. Dean and Ketch are on patrol. I mean, I guess it makes sense to leave Chief Sam in charge at the school, but I'm tired of the guys being split up. Dean gives Ketch one of the giant chains they've been wearing, and says it's iron, to prevent possession. Wow, that would be a heavy chain. They talk about God and Rowena, and then Dean gets a text message. "Trouble. Two hunters haven't checked in." Uh oh!

Meat packing plant. Seriously? There is a meat packing plant in the middle of this residential area? So many chains hanging from the ceiling. I wonder what kind of cage flashbacks Sam would have in here. (And if you fic that, I'd like to be notified, please and thank you.) Dean and Ketch search the place and then it gets cold and then Ketch is hurled against a wall. Hard. Lizzie Borden appears, prepared to take an ax to Dean's head, but an electronically altered voice says "Stop! Get out!" She zaps out and we see the voice belongs to... Kevin???

Turns out when Chuck said he was sending Kevin to Heaven, he lied. Um. Why? What's the rationale for this? I mean, he did things to make a good story, but what was the purpose of sending Kevin to Hell and not letting the Winchesters (or anybody else) know? Dean promises they'll get him to Heaven, and Kevin accept this happily, because Kevin knows that Dean always takes care of him, as promised. (Ha.) Kevin can feel the wards weakening, but he doesn't know if the other spirits can detect it. And the other spirits are afraid of Kevin because he was personally cast down by God. Um. Okay. WHATEVER. But this tells Dean they can use him as a spy.

Reno. Chuck is flipping through channels, and he spends a couple of seconds watching a cooking show where the recipe involves tripe. Which is so meta, isn't it?

He's whiny. I'm over it. So is Amara. And she suddenly detects (WHATEVER) that he needs her for some reason. She can feel his own version of the godhole? She pokes at it and it hurts. "Something happened. You're not complete. You're not at full strength."

Zone. Sam doesn't think using Kevin is safe. Well, he's already dead, so. Belphegor shows up and they're all, your wards are failing and he's all, duh, I told you that was happening, I thought you heroes would have this wrapped up by now. (Are they really fading due to the nature of wards, or is this deliberate? Discuss.) And this spell was a one-time thing - he can't do it again. Because...? We'll never know, because neither brother asks. WHATEVER.

This conversation is like some people. Stupid but pretty.

Belphegor knows Kevin and calls him a "whiny millenial" and my goodness, he gets around a lot for a low-level grunt, doesn't he? He tells the guys that Kevin can't get into Heaven because once a soul is cast into Hell, Heaven can't take it. I am quite sure that Show has forgotten about John and Bobby, who both accomplished that very thing, and I'm shocked to find Show actually address this. Belphegor says God made an exception, and that isn't likely to happen again, since God doesn't like them any more. Oh no! The only way to fix this is if someone else takes over for God!

Reno. Chuck checks out his own godhole, which looks just like Sam's. He pokes at it and winces in pain.

Zone. Sam feels pain in his own godhole. Because they're connected! He lies that he's okay and it's getting better and Dean's all yeah, right.

Sam, for a professional liar, you are so bad at it.

Zone. Spirit meeting. They know the wards are fading. Tumbelty thinks they should attack at a weak point, rather than waiting for the whole thing to collapse. Kevin shows up. They all know him, and some fear him. But Tumbelty knows he's buds with the Winchesters. Because all these spirits know the Winchesters. You know, I can understand all the demons knowing who they are. That's justified. But every resident of Hell? I'm not feeling it. WHATEVER.

High school. More heavy flirting between Rowena and Ketch. Somehow Ketch knows something she doesn't know - that a jolt of electricity will fast-forward her spell. Can we just skip this part? It makes as much sense as the Rowena/Gabriel detour when they were trying to open the rift. They're interrupted by a call from Dean, who demands she hurry. Yes, please.

Zone. Rowena shows up with a bag and runs right into Tumbelty. Who knows her. Because they used to date. All this romance for Rowena, and Sam's still sitting alone at the high school. Come on, Ro. Climb that mountain. Tumbelty tells her they've got Kevin, and sends a message for the Winchesters to meet them at their spirit house. Ketch shows up behind him, with his iron confetti gun, and blasts him, but Tumbelty whacks him with a rock. However, Rowena escapes.

{Commercial time. Zombieland 2 looks good.}

TFW is finally all together. Rowena tells them about Kevin. Dean asks if she has the soulcatcher, and for some reason, Sam has a problem with the name soulcatcher. I suppose this was supposed to be humorous. She does, but she doesn't know if it will work.

Spirit house. Winchesters show up. Tumbelty says if they shut down the warding, he won't devour Kevin. They say no. Tumbelty sticks his hand into Kevin, and this takes a really really long time, but Rowena finally shows up with the crystal and catches all of their souls. Boy, it's a good time devouring Kevin's soul took so very, very long. Rowena tells them this crystal isn't as powerful as the earlier version, and can only gather a few souls at a time. In fact, some of the souls here got away. Oooh, I wonder who.

Kevin tells them about the plan to break through the warding at the weakest point. Jump to the weakest point. There are at least 100 spirits there, according to Belphegor, and more are coming. Dean brings his gun up when someone approaches, but it's only Ketch. Oh, good, he escaped safely from Tumbelty's clutches! How fortunate. It's odd that he's no longer wearing that huge iron chain, though.

Dean tries shooting at the spirits they can't see, but Belphegor tells him there are too many. So Rowena goes forth with her soulcatcher. She still seems to be on this side of the warding, which means she's able to drag the souls through the barrier. I wonder if it would have worked better if she'd gone past the barrier. Then Ketch backhands her because, SURPRISE SURPRISE, he's actually possessed. He drips black goo from his eyes, just to confirm, and picks up the soulcatcher. Dean tries to shoot him, but is conveniently out of ammo. Tumbelty!Ketch monologues and then Dean pulls out his handgun and shoots him and he... tosses the soulcatcher to Dean? Drops it horizontally? Somehow, the thing ends up flying into Dean's hand.

WHATEVER.

(Or did Ketch toss it to him once he was depossessed? Discuss.)

Rowena takes it back and sucks up the few visible souls, including Tumbelty's. Yay! Success! Is Ketch alive? Dunno!

Time jump. Ketch is alive, with only a wounded shoulder, and is being loaded into an ambulance. Cas tells Sam that he tried to heal him, but couldn't. "You're just tired," Sam says. "We all are." Oh, I don't think so, Sam. Dean apologizes to Ketch, and lets us know it was an iron bullet, which is why it expelled Tumbelty. Ketch and Rowena exchange a longing glance. Dean stares. Angrily, maybe? Angry that Mary's ex dared to look for love again? Angry that Rowena is flirting with someone else right in front of Sam? Angry that Ketch is such a wuss that he actually needs an ambulance, and medical treatment, for a mere bullet to the shoulder? Angry that he's stuck inside a Buckleming episode? All of the above? He and Rowena exchange an uncomfortable look.

Aftermath! Kevin doesn't want to stay in the zone and hang out with the guys. He knows he can't get into Heaven, so he's just gonna ghost around and wander the earth. Sam tells him this is a terrible way to exist, and Kevin points out that it's better than Hell. And Kevin and Sam give us what might be the motto for just this episode, or maybe for the entire season:

I'm sorry, Kevin. I wish there was some way to make this right.

Me too. But there isn't. And sometimes, you just gotta accept that.

Kevin tells the Winchesters he loves them (d'aw) and they don't say it back (aw) and Belphegor quite easily makes a little opening in the barrier. So easily, that it really makes you wonder why he has so little power to keep it going. Yep, it sure does. Kevin is gone. Sad waves.

Reno. Amara is hitting the road. Chuck isn't invited. And she knows he's too weak to do anything about it. He can't leave this world without her help, and she ain't helping.

Zone. We see dozens of glowing souls flitting about. The warding won't last long. We need a plan B. "How," asks Dean. How indeed.

So. When I watched this for the first time last night, I desperately wanted to fast forward through the scenes with the spirits in the house. And the Ketch/Rowena stuff. It wasn't any better on rewatch. Some of this episode was just the usual Buckleming nonsense - badly written, stupid things happen for stupid reasons, yada yada yada. But the Kevin plot... can we blame that on the Buckleming? Or was that a showrunner master plan? Either way, it's annoying. And probably pointless. The only good thing about this episode was the confirmation of the connection between Sam and Chuck. I noticed a distinct lack of excitement on my Tumblr feed, so maybe a lot of us feel the same way. If you haven't watched this one yet, my vote is: don't bother.

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!