#and yet i keep seeing all these takes on tlj that it's good

[antianakin]

So I have some further thoughts on Luke's behavior and attitude towards the Jedi in TLJ based on reading this post that's been going around recently that showed some comic panels discussing the public's views about the Jedi during the Prequels era. In it, it says that Palpatine is able to encourage hate towards the Jedi because, on some level, the public already hated the Jedi, equally as much as they loved them, because "It is hard to look at people who have become their best selves and the Jedi represent people who have already figured out how to be their best selves. It reminds you that you have not." The Jedi being good people naturally creates a COMPARISON between themselves and the people they've chosen to serve. Some people might choose to be inspired by that and rise to the challenge, but others choose to be defeated by that and fall more into despair. But those people don't want to ADMIT to defeat and so, instead, they blame the Jedi. They hate the Jedi. They accept the Jedi as scapegoats for their own failings.

This is a common pattern we see across the Prequels era, the Jedi becoming scapegoats for the galaxy's failures. They die because the Republic is corrupt, they die because ANAKIN is corrupt, and neither the Republic nor Anakin want to look at themselves honestly and do the work it takes to be better, so when Palpatine tells them that their struggles and failures are in fact the JEDI'S FAULT, it's so much easier to believe that than it is to accept the truth.

And it's hardly just the Republic that has this problem, Dooku does something similar with the Separatists, turning the Jedi into their personal villains, their children's boogeymen, who started this war with their own arrogance, so that they can keep on looking the other way as their army commits atrocity after atrocity in their name.

Those who try to remain neutral also tend to blame the Jedi for not putting an end to it, for fighting back at all, for not somehow miraculously managing to create a peace with the Separatists. Satine does it, the Lurmen do it, those little farmers on Felucia do it, Trace and Rafa Martez do it. It's so much easier to blame the Jedi for doing or being enough than it is to recognize that this war happened because EVERYONE ELSE was choosing to be selfish rather than work towards peace and all the Jedi can do in response is protect as many innocent civilians as they can until the people in charge ARE willing to put in the work to find peace. But instead of recognizing that complicated reality and unraveling the web that spells out that YOU ARE ALSO PART OF THE PROBLEM, it's so much easier to just blame the Jedi.

They became the galaxy's scapegoats, MOST ESPECIALLY during the Prequels era. It disappears more during the Rebellion era, probably because it's pretty hard to blame the galaxy's problems on a people everyone thinks has been wiped out already. And the rebellion itself seems to see the Jedi more positively, as a symbol of hope in a desperate war that they have no hope of winning without help. Obi-Wan and Luke represent that hope to a lot of people.

But then the Jedi are killed again and the only person left behind is Luke. Luke who fell prey to his own doubts, Luke who made a mistake that had disastrous consequences, Luke who feels guilty. And he cannot face the pain and the guilt and the fear he feels about what he believes he's done, the failure he now sees himself as, so he runs and he hides.

And he blames the Jedi. Like his father before him.

It's too painful to look at himself and acknowledge what he's done in order to let it go and move forward. It's too painful to face his own fears and doubts. So he doesn't. He tells himself the problem was in the way HE was taught, the problem was in the system itself, not the teacher. The problem came from the Jedi, not himself, never himself.

The Jedi become the scapegoats for their own destruction, yet again. The Jedi get blamed so a Skywalker can hide from the pain of his own failures, yet again.

And while Luke seems to barely know anything about the Jedi in the original trilogy, and what he does know seems to be generally positive, it's entirely possible he heard some of those whisperings about how the Jedi had been corrupt, how the Jedi had started the war in their arrogance, how the Jedi had maybe deserved what was done to them, how maybe the galaxy was better off without them. Maybe he heard rumors that the Jedi had taken children from their families, that the Jedi were incapable of love. And during his years in the rebellion, after meeting Obi-Wan and Yoda, he knows this to be untrue, he's heard plenty of legends about them as these great heroes that he believes more, but after his own failure, maybe those whispers come back to him and start to grow. Those whispers and rumors build a nice little shrubbery around the darkness he's allowing to fester in his heart, keeping him from having to ever look at it fully. What if those whispers had been right all along and HE'D been the one in the wrong to think that Obi-Wan and Yoda were the heroes of legend? What if the real mistake had been in trying to become a Jedi in the first place?

It's so so easy to blame the Jedi. So much easier than facing the truth. It might be Luke's first time doing it, but he becomes part of a long-standing tradition in the galaxy of letting the Jedi become scapegoats for their own failures. Of course he's wrong, the galaxy's always been wrong, that's how scapegoats WORK.

But isn't it so much easier to just blame the Jedi?

[darthmaclunkey]

seeing last jedi again was so good. i will be fighting in the last jedi trenches until i die. if last jedi has no fans left on earth then i am dead etc etc. some very rambling and incoherent thoughts under the cut:

i love luke so much in tlj. luke skywaker is my all-time favourite character from anything, because he really embodies one of the core messages from star wars: being good is a choice, and it's a choice you have to keep making. right from the start of new hope, we see how luke is just constantly thrust into situations where, time and time again, he's given the choice of the easy way out, or tempted by the dark side. but luke always chooses to do the right thing, even when it's hard. in rotj we do get a glimpse of him as this aloof, emotionless jedi, but then it all unravels in the finale when he is forced to confront vader. i know a lot of the vitriol around last jedi is from people who think it ruined luke's character, but to me, his arc makes perfect sense. sequels luke is a man who has spent his whole life making sacrifices and working hard to do good, until it's all torn away from him by the dark side - a dark side plot specifically designed to undermine luke and the light, mind you - yet he still blames himself, because a fleeting temptation from the dark to take the easy route out and save the galaxy from what he saw in ben almost got him, but it didn't. and he paid for that temptation dearly. i would have hated to see a sequels-era luke who was just some epic version of the distant, quasi-mystical jedi knight we see in rotj (as i've seen some people saying that's how he should have been). what kind of character arc is that? he gets to the end of the OT and then never changes? i'm drawn to luke because of his humanity, the fact that you still see the tatooine farmboy in him years later. his sacrifice at the end of last jedi is so beautiful and poignant to me; a lesser script (cough tros cough) would have had him jump in an x-wing and show up to plow through the first order with his lightsaber. i love what we get instead: his moment with leia, her touching his hands and realising he's a projection - his knowing wink to threepio - the image of him emerging from the dust and smoke, unscathed, and how it clearly puts the absolute fear into kylo ren - the way he doesn't even attack, just dodges and blocks - then, finally, the shot of him on ahch-to, watching the sunset, and, once he's gone, the image of his cloak blowing away in the wind, symbolic of his spirit joining the cosmic force. that's my jedi master luke. funny, powerful, human, flawed, but still, after all this time, making the choice to do good and fight for others, even if it's the hardest thing he'll ever do. whew. luke skywalker i love you.

i love how last jedi looks. with the exception of maybe empire, i think it's the best-looking of all the films. it's stuffed with references to absolutely classic cinema, like the shot in canto bight that's an homage to the café dolly shot in wings, or the classic hitchcockian dolly zoom as finn and rose look over the cliff, and the opening sequence with the bombing run is just a straight homage to old war movies, which is just what the OT did with the space battles being shot-for-shot remakes of ww2 dogfight footage. original-flavour star wars was a love letter to to so many other films and tv shows, so this feels so natural. at the same time, there's a lot of sequences that feel really innovative for star wars, like the montage that accompanies rey's connection to the force on ahch-to, or the film's extensive use of close-up shots and slow-mo. the lighting is gorgeous. finn's fight with phasma looks astonishing on the big screen - the colour grading and visual effects really go off in that scene.

i love all the force skype sessions with kylo and rey, but especially the scene where she's out in the rain and, when they disconnect, you see kylo running his hand over his face then shaking the rainwater from his glove. something I hadn't appreciated before is how well the film sells you on the idea that they are both present in the same space, despite seeing them both shot against different backgrounds. the intimacy of the rain-on-glove thing gets me every time.

i love everybody's arcs. every single member of the main trio has a full arc in the film. rose tico is such a lovely addition to the main cast, i hate how she got totally shafted in rise of skywalker.

on a completely superficial note: the main cast are all at their hottest in last jedi. especially poe dameron. especially poe dameron.

the throne room fight scene is one of my favourite movie scenes ever (and in star wars, it's only beaten out by the binary sunset scene from new hope). i WISH i could relive the first time i saw it at the midnight screening i went to in 2017. i may have been sitting politely, but i was hooting and hollering internally.

rian johnson, they could never make me hate you.

[nowritingonthewall]

What do you think about the way Poe literally jolts up as soon as Finn holds him after the explosion in TLJ?

Could it be some sort of trauma related to what he endured while being captured?

Baby boy has pure and utter panic in his eyes before he sees it's just Finn, I honestly think that the aftermath of everything that's happened to him in TFA is not discussed enough.

Oh my goodness, a Poe ask, thank you so much, Nonnie 🥰

And omg there are so many thoughts that come up while watching this little scene!

To some extent his reaction can probably be explained by the fact that he is still right in the middle of an extremely dangerous situation. His adrenaline levels must be going through the roof at this point. So after what just happened, it may even appear to seem normal for his body to be in fight or flight modus at this very moment when he jolts at Finn.

However. By the time we get to the events occurring in TLJ, Poe has been in constant flight or fight modus for years. This poor and sweet and wonderful man experienced his first major traumatizing event when he was only eight years old and had to witness the death of his Mom. And his teenage years weren’t exactly smooth sailing, either, the few months that span the events in “Free Fall” alone were just one life-threatening situation after another and he was never really presented with any opportunity to recover from any of those. So when he is brought onto the Finalizer in TFA, he is most likely already suffering from severe C-PTSD.

And then, of course, there is his interrogation, which would have been enough to break any man, even one without a history of trauma. And Poe just keeps on going as if nothing happened after that. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that TLJ takes place only a few days after the events in TFA, but, uhm… to come back to your question, yes, I absolutely think that his reaction is a trauma response!

And I couldn’t agree more, it isn’t discussed enough, that’s why we need a whole Poe Dameron tv show (with 10 seasons minimum, please)!!!

But even though it isn’t discussed enough, imho the aftermath is plain to see in Oscar’s acting. Just in case you haven’t come across it yet, may I recommend this excellent post by @userpoe laying out several symptoms of PTSD that Poe shows in all the movies. I’d even go as far as saying that most of his actions that seemed to be out of character or earned him hate by the “fans” can be traced back to Poe being a deeply traumatized man. Like, e.g. his very short temper with Threepio. We know that’s not how Poe usually acts towards droids. Apart from his incredibly sweet way of interacting with BB-8 (and his love interest in “Resistance”) we literally see him behaving very different towards Threepio himself in the Poe comics. And, of course, there is that very character-revealing moment on Kijimi in TROS, and the pain you can see in Poe’s eyes when Threepio is taking “one last look at my friends”. This movie has so many moments that were most likely added for a cheap laugh by the writers but that fit so smoothly into Poe’s history with PTSD, whether it’s his annoyance with Threepio or his display of trust issues when he wonders whether Rey’s been using her jedi powers on Finn and him.

I am sorry, I have digressed way beyond your original question.

But, may I just add, apart from Poe showing clear signs of trauma, it’s also a little heartbreaking to watch how he doesn’t even take a moment to think of himself when Finn asks him whether he is all right? Apart from the wounds to his heart and soul, his body must hurt like hell after being subjected to that explosion (and I bet he didn’t even take as much as a little casual trip to the med bay) and he doesn’t even stop to give Finn a short “I am okay.” He immediately jumps to thinking about what needs to be done to save everybody else. (And of course, then there’s that wonderful moment when we see Leia mirroring his thought process which will never stop making me emotional.)

[philomaela]

3, 8, and 25 for the choose violence ask game!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I mean obviously there are a lot of Vikings ones that I disagree with... that's boring (also I fought those fights in real time and now I'm over it lol). I'm gonna commit to choosing violence and pick the last jedi.

The take on Rose as being someone who abused Finn and was a terrible person the film was trying to "pretend" was a good person. It was essentially this long post about how Rose's initial introduction marked her as a terrible person who abused Finn and the end of the film was terrible for shipping Finn with his abuser. It's one I hated very much and its one I dislike all the more because I do agree with some of the points made even as I really disagree with the conclusion (and one glaring implication that we will get to).

Because here's the thing, even as a TLJ fan I agree with a lot of the criticism TLJ gets, including and actually especially about Finn's arc within that film. I like the overall idea and some beats, but I think that there was a lot that the film missed out on by having Rose operate as "teacher" rather than having them both share their experiences and allowing Finn to come to his realizations a little differently. And I would go further because I could choose violence on this subject too but actually let me get back to the topic at hand...

Back to the terrible Rose takes, I think the reason it galled me so much is because while people were very correctly discussing the issues surrounding Disney's racism and the films treatment of Finn (and John Boyega).... at the same time their arguments about Rose often had... implications that I found very uncomfortable.

Because the thing is... Rose's intro... that people found abusive... it's a parallel to Rey's first meeting with Finn. This woman sees him, makes an incorrect (but reasonable) assumption based on the info she has on hand that this guy needs to be taken down, and takes him down. Then, after he explains, she realizes what is actually going on, helps him, and then they work together. Rey is violent towards Finn in her first meeting with him too. But with her it's a cute rom-com right, with her it's a sign of how much she's fiery? Like I think people fully had a blindspot to the disparity of their treatment of Rey vs Rose.

And part of the reason I think it's so bad is because it didn't have to be like this! I think you absolutely can critique the films and Rey and Rose as characters... you can very easily criticize the decision to treat Finn like this. So it's disappointing to me I guess, that people chose to, at the same time, kind of join in on the racist pile-on that Rose (and KMT) was getting. Like she was getting it from all corners of the internet... but what else is new for actors of color I guess.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Switching gears and moving to a fandom nobody but me cares about: Psych. I cannot believe Shawn x Gus (Shus) is not more popular than Shawn x Lassiter. I mean, I can believe it because people are often wrong. But come on! Shawn and Gus would DIE for each other, Gus claims Shawn on his taxes, Shawn and Gus practically have a secret language! They literally joined a dating show for a case and the girl revealed that she couldn't really separate them because they were so close. I mean, keep in mind they are Holmes and Watson... and yet people basically ignored them.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I'm gonna be honest, my thing here... it's pretty much for fandoms that I am not a part of.... Basically when like hugely popular tv shows are popular on tumblr and people are complaining about fandom trends (everybody likes X, Y is so prevalent, everyone ignores this ship). I want to be clear, I think you should always criticize things like racism, homophobia, misogyny, ableism... those things will run rampant in a lot of fandoms, because they run rampant in society at large, those aren't trends, they're not what I'm talking about. But like if your fandom is big enough that you can create an entire subculture around character B even though character A is more popular in the "main stream", I think you shouldn't take that for granted. Your sub culture has sub cultures, that's not nothing, a lot of fandoms aren't that big and can't sustain that. Lol, this might be me being upset and petty, I feel like none of my fandoms are big enough to even get to that point. No sub-sub culture for me!

[tcfactory]

THE HUMBLE STOAT MY BELOVED!! also oh, the little hello growls... so cute, so dear. and how he takes a-bao's acceptance of his identity with such gentle 'well he cares about me anyway' energy. and the love! the compassion! knowing there are two people who will help him even at great risk to themselves. oh i teared up fr. your fics are so good! i cant wait to see how it goes between the three of them, and where you take it with yqy! fantastic work as always!!

You know, I have some worries about going too far OOC with the characters (especially Shen Jiu), so these kind of reactions are really reassuring - even if my SQQ ends up being softer than canon, it's fine because there are people enjoying reading about him all the same. <3

I don't have a clear idea where I want to take things with YQY, because I know that he's in love, jealously so, in this fic, but I have no idea how SQQ feels about him yet and it's SQQ who will set the tone of that relationship. If SQQ wants something platonic - rekindling their relationship as friends - then YQY will accommodate him and never mention anything romantic.

But the most likely way it will work out is rekindled friendship into SQQ realizing that they are basically strangers and then growing romantic feelings/attraction once he gets to know YQY again over time, but I'm not sure this fic would extend that far.

...maybe I could do a follow up and use my 'TLJ whistles and sings to keep his sanity' idea to tie it into this one. Having another demon around - one that openly flirts with SQQ - could get him to sort out his feelings about romance and men and YQY.

But if that ever happens, it will be sometime later. I really want to get back to Cinatmani, and that fic is going to eat all of my braincells, I know it for sure.

[dgcatanisiri]

*sigh*

I’m complaining here and just need to vent.

I will NEVER understand how people can cite TLJ as flawless, the best of the trilogy, the best Star Wars period... Absolutely NEVER.

Well, I can understand SOME audiences, given how it refocuses its time, focus, and attention on the white boy they can woobify, rather than the women or people of color in its cast, but... The people I often hear this from are people who supposedly are conscious of the issues of representation. Who argue against the rise of fascists and authoritarians, but then turn around and call Kylie Ron a character who deserved better.

Maybe it’s who you think is the main character of the trilogy - I came out of TFA, and I saw Finn and Rey as the central characters, and, really, in that order. FINN was the character that the plot hinged on. His choices drove the plot advancements - he chose not to fire, he chose to escape, he chose to go back for Rey, he chose to take up that lightsaber, he was making active choices through the plot, so that while it was Rey who had the climactic final fight of the movie, it was still sparked because of Finn’s actions. Rey mattered to the story, but Finn advanced it with his choices.

So to have TLJ sideline him, knock him down from his position as the leading man of this trilogy to a comedic C-plot that even those who LIKED TLJ say was a bit of a plot tumor... That’s an unforgiveable sin. To do that WHILE elevating Kylie Ron to the position it kicked him out of, to make HIM the leading man, after introducing him to us with mass slaughter and the murder of Han Solo? That is, in my view, unconscionable. That is saying we reward being a neo-natsee. Based on his actions in TLJ and TRoS, that is saying that a last second change of heart is all it takes to become a hero, even after years of evil and fascism, without actually TRYING to make a genuine difference or owning what had been done.

Like, yeah, I’m a fan of Anakin Skywalker, but I am fully aware that, once he submits to Palpatine, he has crossed the line and cannot just casually come back from what he’s done. It’s not that his redemption came at the cost of his life, it’s that redemption IN LUKE’S EYES came at the cost of his life. Luke believed in that good, but to the galaxy at large? To LEIA, his daughter? He will always be Vader. Luke may make a distinction, but he’s probably the only one who would. And yet, when I look at how much TLJ wants us to sympathize with Kylie, it is trying to present him as teetering between light and dark - when the climax of the last movie was him making a decision between them.

Unfortunately, we in general have this habit of not just believing that villainous, antagonistic characters can and should be redeemed, we also want to justify the sunk cost we have put into these ideas. Some people do deserve redemption. But the other side to that coin is that some DON’T. Some people make their choices and must live with them. More importantly, even if they say that they want to change, their victims are NEVER under any obligation to accept their redemption. 

But that’s what TLJ wants us to do - to believe in the idea of redemption, even as it makes it clear that Kylie doesn’t even WANT it. He MAKES his choices. But, because those among THE AUDIENCE want his redemption, that ends up being guaranteed by the narrative itself. Of course we’ll redeem him by the end of the trilogy, don’t worry. You can downplay everything he’s done, you can reinterpret his actions as self-defense or consented to, you can ignore the damage he does to the actual heroes, you can reframe everything to believe he was always the true hero of this trilogy, don’t concern yourself with all the things we’ve established that he did knowingly and intentionally that are evil, we’re just going to pretend that the things that happened on screen didn’t happen.

And I haven’t even started on the logistical issues - I’ve been over before how the First Order of TFA and the First Order of TLJ are two different organizations in terms of scope, scale, and power, how Holdo is a bad leader who Poe was right to act against, how the “Rey Nobody” “reveal” was done more to subvert the audiences expectations rather than give this character a genuine arc and emotional catharsis... I’ve made this post long enough as is, look through my “the last jedi critical” tag for more details on my problems with all of that.

TLJ is a mess. It’s a standalone film shoved into a trilogy, and any problems someone may have with The Rise of Skywalker? Can be traced back to the way that this movie left things. I can only hope time will be more and more unforgiving with it, because it is the place this trilogy derails.

[david-talks-sw]

Random train of thought on mentors, protagonists, “Weapons Factory” and “Old Friends Not Forgotten”

I wrote this ‘bout half a year ago, and even then, the “Weapons Factory” episode has plenty of amazing meta written about it on Tumblr. Finally decided to update and post it when I noticed something while rewatching Season 7. For other takes on this subject, check out these: Lumi’s meta on “Weapon’s Factory”. JediMasterBailey’s meta on “Weapons Factory”.

Wrong protagonists & the mentor archetype

Stories gotta have conflict. “Character wants something and something is in their way so they need to overcome that obstacle in order to get what they want.”

Good way to have conflict in your story is giving your protagonist a flaw they need to overcome.

Sometimes, that flaw is glaring, and the protagonist is outright wrong. When they realize they were wrong, we see that realization as a pay-off usually in a later scene. Examples of this in Star Wars:

From the moment he puts on the mask, Vader acts as if Anakin Skywalker is dead and there’s no way back for him from the darkness. When his son lays his life out on the line to save him, he realizes he must do the same to protect him and overcomes his inner darkness.

In TLJ, Luke firmly believes the Jedi should die out for the good of the galaxy. He realizes that’s a load of crap, and gets back in the fight.

Most of the time we see a Jedi Master... they’re not the protagonist. Usually, the protagonist is someone who isn’t a Jedi quite yet, someone young, who hasn’t arced yet, a learner.

So the archetype the Jedi fill more frequently is that of the wise mentor, someone who has already become the best version of themselves, and is now helping the protagonist with their arc.

The Jedi are Gandalf, Dumbledore, Jiminy Cricket... the voice of reason.

So, most of the time, when we’re seeing the Jedi (who strive to overcome their flaws), we’re seeing them from the eyes of flawed characters.

Like Anakin.

Anakin, Luminara & the lesson of “letting go”

Seeing as Anakin is our protagonist, he’s our lead POV character in most of the scenes we see the Jedi. We’re seeing events through his eyes.

And it’s easy to do because he’s flawed, and guess what, he’s emotional too… but we - the viewers - are also flawed and emotional. So any scene with him and the Jedi in it, we’re instantly gonna relate more to him than to the Jedi because we make an emotional connection with him.

He’s angry at the Jedi? If the writers do their job right, we’ll empathize and be angry too.

He feels they’re dispassionate and dogmatic? We will feel that too.

But if you look at things objectively... most of the time he’s in the wrong. Or at least he’s not following the rules correctly. And if he does learn, it’s temporary. After all, this is the guy who ends up becoming Vader. As Dave Filoni puts it:

“The challenge for us, creatively, is that unfortunately we can never solve any of [Anakin’s] problems fully. We can present them, we can start him to a path of understanding and hope that the audience understands that which the character of Anakin Skywalker cannot. That he can never take the final full step to being this more enlightened person, because he keeps getting pulled back down.” - Dave Filoni, 
The Clone Wars: 
“The Slaves of Zyggeria” video commentary, 2012

In this case, let’s take the Jedi rule of “letting go” of attachments.

In Anakin’s mind, “letting go” (accepting that there are things beyond your control ) is synonymous with “giving up”. Which isn’t the case, for a Jedi. To them, it’s a sign of maturity, not weakness or carelessness.

This is perfectly illustrated in the TCW episode “Weapons Factory”.

In the episode, Ahsoka and Barris are trapped beneath rubble, and are slowly dying from the lack of oxygen.

Above the ground, Anakin and Luminara search for them, but it’s pointless because the area to cover is large and they have no idea where the two Padawans are.

Like, here’s the facts:

They can sense that their Padawans are slowly dying beneath the debris.

Locating them is impossible.

None of the ships, troops and equipments will be able to dig around enough to find them in time.

The two Padawans are as good as dead, and whether they do make it out alive is beyond Anakin and Luminara’s control, and entirely up to the Padawans’ own resourcefulness.

And Anakin is basically getting angry at Luminara for prematurely mourning her apprentice, saying that she’s already given up on her Padawan, but he won’t give up on Ahsoka, no sir!

The interesting thing is that we feel what Anakin is saying, and most of the audience watching agrees with Anakin. Like, anybody I talk to about this episode remembers it as “oh yeah, Luminara didn’t give a fuck and was willing to let her Padawan die”:

But if you look at the scene objectively?

You can see that Luminara is very saddened by this.

But as opposed to Anakin, who is just pacing around going “what-do-I-do what-do-I-do what-do-I-do what-do-I-do”... she is getting ready to accept Barris’ sacrifice.

And Anakin hears this as “oh I’m just giving up and you should too”. When that’s not really the case. Anakin is completely right to care and to not give up on Ahsoka. But she’s talking about a completely different thing, they’re not on the same wavelength.

He’s talking about saving them... whereas she’s emotionally readying herself for the eventuality that they can’t. She’s not saying “stop looking for them”, she’s saying “it might not be enough”.

Again, those Padawans are as good as dead. Fact.

And then Ahsoka changes that fact by letting out that signal and letting them know that “yo, we’re here!”

Anakin and Luminara immediately and simultaneously go “oh shit they’re there!” and free them.

We even see Luminara react to the emerging Padawans before Anakin.

And that’s what a Jedi does.

She doesn’t shut out her emotions, so much as she looks at the facts and accepts them. The second the facts changed, she reacted at the same time as Anakin. The only difference was that she wasn’t losing her shit.

She isn’t talking about “giving up�� or “not caring”, it’s about duty and pragmatism over hotheadedness. It’s about being ready to let go when there’s nothing else to do.

And one thing that I’d like to point out is that, while the episode is about having faith in your students, its narrative allows Luminara to make a fair point and get the last word.

Anakin may not understand it or agree with it, in this episode, but he soon will in the next season.

So, right there... the over-arching narrative is that Anakin has trouble letting go and accepting his own limits... and eventually he makes a meaningful first step towards being able to do that.

At the end of this post, there’s a quote where Lucas basically goes into the fact that, as a mentor, at some point the only thing you can do is hope you’ve trained your student the best you can, hope they’ll use your knowledge well, and let them go on their own path.

Anakin’s teachings got Ahsoka out of the rubble, on Geonosis.

Anakin’s teachings helped Ahsoka survive the Trandoshan hunters.

So not only were the mentor figures correct... slowly the protagonist is arcing and becoming one of them.

As mentioned before, though... it’s temporary. Overcoming your flaw doesn’t mean doing so forever.

The difference between this and Season 7

Skip to season 7, and we have another situation where the mentor figure is questioned:

But this time... the narrative doesn’t allow Obi-Wan to really make a meaningful point beyond “that’s not fair”.

In the dialogue, they acknowledge that Ahsoka isn’t trying to be, but we don’t see her come around to thinking “yeah, maybe I was childishly oversimplifying an incredibly complex situation”.

Just like Anakin in “Weapons Factory”, she’s emotionally framed as being morally right... but in this case, it’s left at that. There is no payoff, there is no realization, there is no moment of self-reflection.

She’s right, and that’s it.

And, lucky for her, the galaxy’s geo-political situation becomes much more black and white, following Order 66, so she’s not about to be put in as difficult a scenario as Obi-Wan and Anakin were, the day Coruscant was being attacked.

So... what changed?

Obi-Wan’s argument isn’t any less rational than Luminara’s or Plo Koon’s... yet for some reason we’re supposed to emotionally side with the irrational one? It feels a bit forced.

Am I missing something here? Why is the mentor framed as right before, but in Season 7, for seemingly no reason... they’re not?

[reachexceedinggrasp]

There's something that's always made me wonder back when I was still in the SW fandom.How did the majority of the fanboys and fangirls have such a profound misunderstanding of the thematic theme it represents?Like I remember finding MANY of this people on my insta feed talking about different types of spaceships,where do the J*dis get their lightsaber crystals from,characteristics of several planets,etc YET when confronted about the actual theme of the movie,they "What do you think my entire blog is about?"🤦‍♀️These are the type of people who just hate Ben in general, think TLJ did L*ke dirty,and genuinely believe V*der and An*kin to be two different people.How did this happen?Was it partly Lucas' own fault?Was it because of the Legends books?I'm just so confused...like how did these people become a fan for 20+years yet managed to misread something most integral to its storyline?

Yeah, I used to talk about this a lot. I think it's mostly two things. It's that a lot of people don't care about themes no matter how obvious they are and will just mentally paper over a message they don't agree with. Any incurious audience will also often assume the things they like must agree with them and will read their own worldview into media regardless of intent. See the bizarre mental contortions from fans, such as claiming Vader wasn't actually redeemed or that 'everyone' ignores that aberrant moment because the movie is otherwise good (as if RotJ isn't exclusively built around Luke's moral victory in choosing love and refusing to submit to the idea of a necessary evil). See also TPM alt-right crypto fascists identifying with the Rebellion and reading the story as an allegory for their fight for 'freedom'. Assholes don't see themselves as the villains, they see themselves as the heroes.

And the second thing is that sw attracted a large audience of people who just have wildly different priorities than the original narrative. People who love space ship blueprints and detailed lore, people who want sci-fi rather than fantasy/fable storytelling conventions, who want to break down the vague, emotional mysticism of the Force into a D&D magic system with two flavours of power and specific rules. People who aren't that interested in the deeply character-driven and self-contained plot of the saga, but want to play with a kind of worldbuilding that focuses on minutiae. This is of course fine for them to enjoy, but it's totally incompatible with the films and how the entire canon universe runs so it shouldn't be canonised- yet those are usually the kind of people who want to write tie-in novels. Inevitably, this shifts the tone and conventions of the universe away from the message around which they were originally built.

The fandom was also full of insecure dudebros who wanted a fairy tale built on a completely uncompromising idealism to be instead gritty and ~realistic~ and cynical so they could keep liking it as adults without their masculinity being threatened. Without their worldview being challenged. So we end up with the EU theme-rot and aggressive Wrong About Star Wars takes from the people who are now in charge of the canon. The rare vision of idealism gets pulled down and replaced with the same bloodthirsty American monomyth bullshit you get everywhere else in Hollywood.

There's nothing you can really do as the author to prevent this kind of thing. SW's message is so uncontrovertible and without subtlety that five year-olds get it no problem, but that has never stopped anyone from wildly misreading it. You can't control the audience. Having a fun action-adventure movie with super appealing characters and a vibrant world is going to reach far more people than are willing to accept a truly challenging message about unconditional compassion. I mean, kids will and do, and that's who Lucas says he wanted the films to be for, so he did all right on that.

[abraxos-the-phantom]

Scum Disciple Deleted

-scenes. Here you go @vodkassassin. Unformatted and mostly unedited save for some awkward phrasing I fixed as I skimmed through it. I have a habit of merely taking out scenes rather than straight deleting them when I don't think they work out so if you see it on the fic shhh I probably just found a better place for it, but for the most part I think these are unused

TLJ + MF; Flashback/Illusion

[Log: File:Save_??-???.?.????.log]

“You know, for a man so keen on maintaining the preference of a dignified cultivator, you are fairly quick to disband such things as you see fit,” Tianlang-jun mused.

Ming Fan threw a dirty look to the former Overlord of the Demonic Realm over his bowl of beef stir fry lily bulbs. It was a specialty in this region, boasting a sweet lily bulb due to the length of time the farmers around the area spent cultivating the plant. In other words, it was delicious and a welcome change to the guilt trip galore that was eating Lou Binghe’s cooking.

Oh to eat that delicious snow congee without feeling the compulsion to throw it all back up-

Well, no use dwelling on such things.

“Most of anything could be considered vulgar when in close proximity to you,” Ming Fan quipped, taking a generous helping of the stir-fry between his chopsticks. “If you had as much sensibility as you had sensuality, I guarantee that people would be more fond of you. Unfortunately, it is too late for me.”

“Hoh? Is that so?” Tianlang-jun’s lips curled in a smirk in spite of the fact that Ming Fan had no interest looking his way, regardless of the other demon happened to do. Some odd five or so years have taught Ming Fan that there were times when the best move for dealing with the other was simply ignoring him.

Ming Fan maintained his bland tone as he briefly paused to speak, “Yes.”

Tianlang-jun shook his head, “Honestly. Are all disciples of Cang Qiong like you, or are you just the special one.”

Said disciple only gave Tianlang-jun a significant dirty look, “You’d have to actually behave yourself to get to know another disciple of Cang Qiong.”

“Eh,” the Heavenly Demon leaned back against his chair with his hands crossed behind his head. “Too boring.”

Ming Fan made a noncommitting sound as he finally ate the last of his order, letting out a satisfied sigh as he leaned back in his seat.

“Ming Fan, a question if you are so gracious enough to grant me such a thing.”

Ming Fan only raised a brow, “You may ask, whether I answer is not on the table.”

“Why?” Tianlang-jun paused as he attempted to think about his question. “Why do you maintain this relationship of ours? It’s not as if you’re on any obligation to maintain basic relations for a political reason, and you hardly ask me anything so you aren’t after my wisdom. With Lou Binghe going in and out Cang Qiong Sect, it’s not as if I can threaten your Sect any more than I could try and fight with my son.”

Ming Fan crossed his arms, humming for a moment tilting his head just enough to convey thoughtfulness he turned to look the demon lord in the eye, “If you were to be confronted with a former enemy of a war without meaning, what would you do?”

Tianlang-jun hummed, “I wouldn’t care.”

“Exactly,” Ming Fan pointed out. “Now what would you do if you discovered you were on the wrong side of that war?”

“…I still wouldn’t care.”

“Would you?” Ming Fan hummed, “Well, that’s your choice.”

“So is that all? You pity me?”

“Not quite,” Ming Fan shrugged, idly arranging the finish plate on the table. “More like my recompense of sorts.”

Tianlang-jun’s expression was unreadable as he stared, quietly adding, “You realize that I’ve killed hundreds of cultivators like you. Your age, younger- older. It didn’t matter, they were obstacles in my path and I removed them.”

“Of that I do not doubt, but these days- the line between righteous and mad is thin,” Ming Fan snorted. “I stand at the meager in-between myself. But what else can I do? I am but a mere mortal, attempting to right his wrongs.”

Ming Fan took a final sip at his tea, “Sometimes, that is all one can do without going well and truly mad.”

Tianlang-jun chuckled, “I suppose that’s true.”

The hours seemed endless after that, a moment in time felt like hundreds upon billions as the two simply- existed.

“So,” Tianlang-jun said after an eternity’s moment. “What are you doing here Little Cultivator?”

Ming Fan blinked, “Is this not one amongst our many meetings?”

The world seem to blur around him like ink amongst a pool of water. Fading into implied images as the sky and trees distorted. The sounds of the earth quieted to a hushed whisper. Ming Fan’s eyes casted around in confusion as the lively village dulled into a dead silence.

“It isn’t,” Tianlang-jun leaned back, smirking. “You’ve spent so long with me that I am now here with you- in limbo. I’m flattered Fan-er.”

Ming Fan narrowed his eyes, scowling, before looking away, “Definitely. Tianlang-jun never called me that to my face.”

Ming Fan twisted away from the…demon for some time to think.

TLJ + MF - Actual Flashback

“You look like you went a round and three more with a golem,” Tianlang-jun tsked at him.

“Are you going to lecture me about coming out while I look like I lost against said golem or are you going to sit your ass down and have some tea like we agreed?” Ming Fan snapped, wincing as he sat.

Tianlang-jun whistled wolfishly. “Why, I never took that War God to be the kinky type.”

“Don’t be so obscene,” Ming Fan rolled his eyes. “He landed me flat on my ass almost a dozen times. Of course sitting down would be a pain.”

“You know there’s this flower that-“

“No.”

“But I hurt just looking at you,” Tianlang-jun whined like a particularly annoying brat. “One tiny little adventure to look for a flower that heals bruises instantly, it’s a Lotus of a blue hue, I hear those people from the far West have been using it for some time.”

“And then Liu Qingge will have me spar against him, again, and this hellish circle will repeat itself. I am only saved by the fact that my cultivation is not as advanced as one of a Peak Lords, otherwise I would be healed by the end of the week and my pain begins anew,” Ming Fan shook his head. “I appreciate your concern, I really do, but no.”

“Aww, well since you’re being so polite about it…” Tianlang-jun sighed and sipped from the tea. “Mn- this is good. Where did you get it?”

“Shang-shishu taught me how to prepare lemon tea before the fruits go out of season, apparently there is a sweetened-cold version of this as well, but he has yet to refine the technicalities of the ingredients. I worry for him, he always seems so busy.”

“He looks like a rodent who accidentally ate a pepper, though I suppose in this case it would be a block of ice what with Mobei-jun being his lover and all.”

“I did wonder how that happened, and worried a brief time. An Ding Peak’s disciples had said that their master would occasionally come home bruised and barely able to walk, they were rearing to go to war with the Northern Demons far before everything else happened.” Ming Fan sighed, “Well, it isn’t any of my business. I’m sure they’re dealing with the situation in their own way.”

“True that, those An Ding Peak children…physically they are weak, but it is always the weaker ones that surprise you the most. Especially when angry,” Tianlang-jun smiled as he mused. “Afterall, hornets don’t seem like much at first glance. That Mobei-jun has his work cut out for him, ah, speaking of. What of those two? Surely the boy is tip-toeing these days.”

“He tends to keep to the bamboo house, and we tend to stay far away from the bamboo house, especially at night.” Ming Fan raised his hand to drink. “That is all I will say of the matter.”

Ming Fan sighed, rubbing a hand against his eyes, “I am getting far too old for this.”

“Oh please, you’re not even a century old.”

“Hm, and yet somehow I am still significantly more mature than you. Have you reached the regression stage of life Tianlang-jun? I must say, I’m rather peeved that it’s a mental deterioration rather than a physical one for you demons.”

“Hoh?” Tianlang-jun leaned forward, smirking. “Wish to test how youthful I can be Little Cultivator?”

Ming Fan raised a hand idly pointing at the silks of Tianlang-jun’s clothes, startling the heavenly demon as he wondered just what the other had found on his clothes.

Then Ming Fan flicked up, hitting the former Demon Lord up the lip and under the nose, causing Tianlang-jun to recoil, sputtering from the unjust attack. The audacity.

“I’m sure you’d at least warm the bed,” He deadpanned, sipping at his tea without a care as Tianlang-jun sputtered indignantly.

NMJ/MF - Original Re-meeting for ch 52; added here for my convenience (cus i don't wanna make another post)

“Gather everyone who can fight!” One voice called. “Sect Leader Nie is being surrounded by a pack of hell hounds! They need help.”

Ming Fan was out and running before anyone could even blink- with only Liu Qingge and Tianlang-jun holding enough time to react by following him.

-

“Shit-“ Mingjue cursed, swinging around Bàxià to hurl one attacking hound over to the side. “Meng Yao- you alright?!”

“Could use-” Meng Yao grimaced as he had to back off to avoid the snapping jaws of another hound. “Some help.”

“Reinforcements should be on the way!” Mei Lin cursed venomously under her breath. “Just where the hell did all these damned dogs come from?!”

“We’re being overrun!” Lang Fengyi yelped as he narrowly avoided claws.

“Fuck-“ Mingjue gathered his energy, willing it to fill him once more. “Get ready to run! I should be able to distract them long enough to-“

“Don’t worry about that.”

The disciples of Nie turned to find a man arrogantly walking through the field, the hounds yipping in fear and running from him, as well as another man clad in white and silver who eyed the hounds back.

Tianlang-jun stood before the disciples of Qinghe Nie with a bright smile, “Relax now, everything will be fine.”

Liu Qingge huffed, drawing his sword, “Says you. We have to make sure he’s not overworking himself remember?”

There was a distant rumbling- an ominous presence that washed over them to the point where all the hounds began to shudder and shake in fear as they too yipped around fearfully.

Descend with great speed. Swift and merciless. Run my enemies. Leave none left alive. May death greet you well.

Formation formed.

Ming Fan dropped his sword with militaristic precision, tilting all the swords generated by his power towards the ground in varying angles.

Heavenly Wrath Formation.

Tianlang-jun looked up in the surprise, “Don’t tell me that’s-“

“It is,” Liu Qingge scowled.

“Who-“ Nie Mingjue began- before all hell broke loose.

Liu Qingge’s expression was thunderous as he swept past rows of demonic hounds, tilting on hand and waiting-

Another man dropped from the sky not a second later, catching Liu Qingge’s robes and righting him before swinging his legs on the man’s waist to get around and jab another hound in the back- Tianlang-jun was swift to join the fray, allowing the shorter cultivator to move around him to get at all the lucky hounds who managed to move away from Ming Fan’s deadly aim fast enough.

While Tianlang-jun added to the deadly partnership with his own flare, it was the pair of Ming Fan and Liu Qingge that showed the obvious years of partnership between them- for the two had years of spars and night hunts to guide their blades where they need be.

Heads flew, limbs joining them as the immortals of Cang Qiong Sect and Tianlang-jun of the Heavenly Demon Line slaughtered the feared and the rowdy- leaving those of Qinghe Nie in awe.

“..Wei…” Meng Yao said, knees beginning to grow weak. “Wei Fan?!”

The man abruptly froze, glancing towards their direction before seeming to move on instinct- the War God sensing the sudden change and using his arm to propel him outward, allowing the man to fly across the air and land his sword true through the skull of the hell hound that was just about to take a chunk from Nie Mingjue’s side.

Ming Fan, not upset as he was, barked at them venomously, “Just what do you think you’re doing?! Fucking move! You’re in a battle field! Fight damn you! Are you not of Qinghe Nie?!”

“Teacher Wei!” Mei Lin cried- openly actually, crying.

“Oh for the love of-“ Ming Fan cursed. “I’ll take your crying and yelling and cursing later, lift your sabres and fight!”

“Xiao-Fan!”

Ming Fan turned, grunting as he launched his sword in the Heavenly Demon’s direction and skewering the hound. “What?!”

“Lower your blood pressure!”

Ming Fan felt his blood pressure rise out of sheer spite. “Fuck you!”

“A-Fan,” Liu Qingge growled. “You just performed one of the most powerful formations while silent. Calm down.”

“I can’t!” Ming Fan caught himself with a scowl. “But I’m not upset!”

“For the love of-“ Liu Qingge turned to Tianlang-jun. “Can you handle the rest?”

“Yeah I got it,” Tianlang-jun batted away a hound with his bare fist. “Just take care of our pissed off little horse first.”

Liu Qingge wasted no time, grabbing the now fuming Ming Fan, his nose beginning to trickle with a line of blood and generally causing the already shocked disciples of Qinghe Nie to panic.

“Hey,” Liu Qingge’s voice was soft as it was firm. “Calm down. Calm. That’s not a request.”

“I’m trying,” Ming Fan hissed. “You try doing this in the middle of battle.”

“Alright back up plan,” Liu Qingge turned to the still shocked Nie Mingjue. “You. Make yourself useful. He needs a distraction.”

“Wha-“

Liu Qingge shoved Ming Fan into Nie Mingjue, the taller man abruptly catching the man by the waist to steady him before something else caused him to loose balance.

Forgot one: Deleted Extra feat. Yang Yixuan + MF; written with it's og formatting since notes preserved my italics somehow

Cold wind swept past the ravine.

Shaking trees and rustling branches provided the background noise for the twittering creatures who lived in the back mountains. Within this quiet land was a surrounding of high elevation mountains spanning all around the mountain side.

There, Ming Fan sat quietly. Watching the creatures bellow- there were no humans for miles save for those few people within the Ancient Sect, and they were hardly just human anymore.

“So, you’ve finally decided to get off your ass.”

Ming Fan stiffened.

Yang Yixuan’s arms were cross across his breast, idly looking down from the view of Qing JIng Peak.

The landscape had changed much since Ming Fan had last come here, it was greener. With the trees far taller than when Ming Fan had last seen them, the older trees cut down by the ravages of war and time- but new ones taking their place. The silence too, was new. With no disciples Cang Qiong Mountain was a far quieter place than it had been during the height of its Sect Years. Some ascended, some peacefully settling into their next life, and some sticking around. Going to and fro the place carrying out errands and enacting a firm hand where the average Cultivator could not handle. The war had put a damper on such things, what with their stance of neutrality, bu it was no less somewhat of a sobering surprise that those of Cang Qiong Mountain had seen what was happening and judged it would be better to remain quiet.

He knew why of course, it was more practical in the long run for a mythical Sect, they were not here to force the future into their own hands- merely to counter the monsters of the yester years. Still. He wondered.

“You’re thinking so loud I could practically here it,” the former head disciple of Bai Zhan peak, the former Peak Lord himself, continued with a raised brow. “You’re normally quick to empty your mind and dump it onto others.”

Ming Fan scoffed softly, “Normal is a poor basis to use to pass judgement at the moment, even a Bai Zhan Peak buffoon like you should realize such.”

“…”

Ming Fan pursed his lip, anger simmering.

Settle.

Settle.

Settle.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.” He said softly, allowing his fist to slack from their death-like grip.

“You just lost your brohter,” Yang Yixuan said bluntly. “You were a raving asshole when Liu-shifu dragged you here. Pretty much spat at Luo Binghe’s feet and insulted just about everyone.”

Ming Fan restrained the urge to flinch at every word.

“I’d be more than a little troubled if you didn’t act like that after losing your brother.” Yang Yixuan continued with a shake of his head. “It’s good to know that our illustrous Ming Fan is still a human.”

“Have I not proven that time and time again?”

“Dunno,” Ming Fan turned his head, the Bai Zhan Peak’s former sole disciple’s voice turning uncharacteristically soft. “You were doing a pretty good impression of acting like an immortal before.”

[darth-schism]

This weeks hot take was “Disney is an unreliable narrator,” wherein I choose to believe that all the potentially good plot points of the sequels were what actually happened, and Disney just did a terrible job at translating the historical datapads. This would mean:

- Kylo and Rey were actually an interesting, and well fleshed out “enemies to lovers” story.

- Kylo and Rey’s dyad story is also fully refined, which explains why Rey was as powerful as she was, why they were so powerful together, and why they were so closely bonded (despite their love story being shaky even under the best of circumstances).

- Finn’s plot was a solid “space fascist learns not to be a space fascist, and then unites with other ex fascists to shoot the fascists who were still determined to kill innocent people” story-line. 

- Poe was a character who learned the appropriate balance between not letting bureaucracy inhibit doing the right thing, and trusting trust worthy leaders (like Leia). And also fills the role of giving Leia a son that didn’t suck.

- Poe and Finn are both super bi, and together they and Rey make the most kick ass polyamorous relationship trio the galaxy has ever seen at the end of TROS.

- Rose’s arch is the excellent tale of a soldier who, despite losing family to war and genocide, plays a heavy hand in undoing the First Order.

- The Knights of Ren had importance and influence throughout the entire story as those that always served the highest form of darkside power they could. Their loyalty initially resided with Snoke, and so they served Kylo by extension. But upon the Supreme Leader’s assassination, they then turned, or maybe even aided in the rise of the phantom emperor, and thus they worked against Kylo when it was clear that he would seek to kill yet another dark lord.

- The phantom emperor, Rey’s father, and Snoke (in that order) are all reincarnations of Palpatine’s ancestral lineage. It began with the phantom, as he was the most recent, however, he was badly damaged. So Rey’s father was reincarnated to help restore his power. However, even though he was healthy, he was a non-force-sensitive ancestor. Finally Snoke was made, a reincarnation of the Palpatine line dating back to ancient times. He was less healthy, but supremely powerful. Too powerful for the phantom though, who was subsequently sealed away on Exegol as Snoke usurped the throne. More reincarnations were made, but more “Snokes” ended up being the result. They had gone back in the linage as far as they could, and there was no going back forward. The phantom would remain stuck, and Snoke would keep his “other selves” sealed away as well, as he had no desire to see himself as anything other than the one and only Supreme Leader. 

- Luke’s exile and “hopeless hermit image” was directly linked to protecting Grogu and his few surviving students. And his dogged determination to dismiss Rey was directly linked to knowing that if we were found out, Snoke would blow him up at best, and rip the whereabouts of those survivors from his head at worst (which was exactly what would have happened because of Rey, as we see in TLJ). Hence why he chooses to live the remainder of his life on Ach-To. It served as both his best chance of finding the ancient knowledge to counter Snoke, or at the very least make his last stand on the sacred grounds where the Jedi originated. [also separate post to come about this one given Book of Boba Fett spoilers].

-Likewise, Luke’s story is also about one about how, despite the role he was forced into, the trials of what put him there are nevertheless severe, and he legitimately struggles with hopelessness, guilt, and pessimism. He never can fully cut himself off from the force (even though Grogu would be safer if he did). He can never burn the books (even though he does struggle with embitterment towards the Jedi). And he can’t help himself but train Rey (even though it could, and does, result in his death).

[paper-n-ashes]

sparks and embers - chapter 13

Characters: Kylo Ren x Original Female Character, Poe Dameron x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Chapter 13 - Exposure

Words: 5.5k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Descriptions medical procedures

Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning

~

“Alex! You’re okay!”

“So are you!” I burst, eyes already wet with tears of relief. My gaze darted over the holoprojection of Poe’s face, his brilliant smile beaming through from lightyears away.

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you,” he grinned, leaning closer into the holo. “We’ve been trying to make this contact for weeks.”

A dazzling joy surged in my chest, so happy that my assumptions of being forgotten were baseless. “Did you complete your mission?”

“You’re talking to the best pilot in the galaxy here.” He shot me a charming wink, maintaining his smile. “Actually made it back a few days ahead of schedule.”

Tears continued to dribble out, attempting to calm myself with a shaky exhale. “I’ve been so worried.”

Poe’s expression turned earnest. “I was going to say the same thing.” His expression fell, looking down. “I didn’t want to leave you there. I’m… I’m so sorry Alex. We’re all sorry.”

“It’s alright,” I soothed. “It was the right thing to do at the time. Did you all safely make it back to the base?”

“Left just in time to avoid their tracking systems. So your sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.”

“Indeed it wasn’t,” a woman’s voice agreed, her instantly recognisable image appearing in front of me moments later.

Leia Organa.

“I’m so glad to finally put a face to the person who saved my best fighters.”

I was awestruck at the sight of the entrancing older woman, with kind yet determined eyes looking right at me. “Well… uh… They were the ones who protected me against the Death troopers. I really didn’t do anything.”

She shook her head, smiling warmly. “We all know what you did, what you’ve endured because of your selflessness.”

“What I’ve endured?”

“We have recently gained a Resistance spy within the First Order, the one who directed you to this holoprojector,” Poe started explaining. “They’ve been keeping an eye on you. Sending us intel about your condition.”

I thought of the blonde, curled hair I glimpsed a few minutes ago, not recalling ever seeing it before. Whoever it was had obviously done his reconnaissance at a distance. “The cell stay wasn’t exactly easy,” I conceded, looking sincerely to Poe. “But I’m managing better now.”

A glaring lie.

“One thing they couldn’t tell us Alex,” Leia started, her expression now troubled. “Is why exactly they’re keeping you on the Finalizer. Our spy hasn’t been able to collect any information about the subject. To me, it seems a little... bizarre you’re being forced to work for them.”

I was stuck on how to begin to formulate an answer when a commotion from behind the two figures made them turn around.

“I heard you finally made contact!” Rey’s voice excitedly cheered from somewhere in the room, her image quickly arriving into view, displaying an enthusiastic grin as she huddled in next to Leia. “Alex! I’m so glad to see you!”

I returned a warming smile, her sunny disposition difficult not to mirror.

“Oh thank the maker,” Finn heaved, sliding alongside Rey, the four figures now pressed closely into the outline of the holo, Poe seeming faintly annoyed at the intrusion. “If I had to live through one more day of Poe ranting about this stealth signal not getting through, I was gonna go insane.”

Poe was already looking to me when I glanced at his face, an unspoken understanding exchanging between us. “Well now since apparently we’re all here,” he huffed, “Can we actually get back to the issue at hand? We’ve only got a limited amount of time before this signal becomes compromised, and the hard-lock on Alex’s comm-room door overrides.”

Leia nodded in agreement and looked at me again. “Do you know why they’re holding you there Alex?”

I was weighted with a heavy dose of terror in giving my answer, my stare shooting immediately to Rey. Her smile had faded, instead she wore an expression of reassurance.

She hadn’t told them.

“I… I… uh…” I stammered, a flurry of emotions spinning in my brain. I was so sure she would have exposed me.

“It’s okay Alex,” Rey insisted, her tone calming. “I know why you’re scared. I completely understand why you kept it a secret. But we won’t harm you because of it. I promise.”

All eyes darted to Rey, each face breaking into confusion.

Poe was the only one to say what they were all thinking. “What are you talking about?”

I felt my chest begin to tighten, oxygen becoming a little harder to grasp onto. “I’m not ready,” I whispered.

Rey’s appearance was comforting, yet serious. “It’s time. You may not be ready, but sometimes we don’t get the choice.”

I inhaled deeply, scrunching my lids closed, trying to build some sort of confidence to reject the instincts and rules I had been abiding by all these years. A lifetime of keeping my gift undisclosed, hiding it away, never getting too close to anyone, had left me more attached to my secret than anything else in the galaxy. Fear had always kept it’s hold, guiding my actions, and it was pulling at me again now, trying to warn me of the danger once more. But if I didn’t tell them, Rey would be forced to.

And above anything else, I wanted Poe to hear it from me.

“I can… use the Force,” I said slowly, most likely out loud for the first time in my life. “I taught myself… how to heal others with it, when they were close to death.” There was an excruciating silence as Poe, Leia and Finn comprehended my answer, each wearing a different expression of realisation. My stare was only focused on Poe, trying to properly gauge his reaction to my admittance of lying. “I didn’t want anyone to find out, so I’d also learnt how to hide it - to prevent other force-sensitive people from feeling my energy, from hearing my thoughts.”

“Why?” Leia asked gently. “Why were you so afraid?”

“My parents were distrustful of those who were attuned to the Force after living through a time where Darth Vader wreaked havoc on the galaxy. They told me old stories of little children being taken away from their families to be trained as Jedi, only to have all of them massacred, even the younglings. They made it seem like the most dangerous thing in the world was being someone with that gift. So even as a child, when I felt the power growing within, I pushed it down, hid it away. I didn’t want to fight in any wars, and I didn’t want to be killed. I just… wanted a normal life.”

Both Rey and Leia were nodding with me as I spoke, seeming to understand my decision.

“That’s why you were on Raxus. So isolated,” Poe murmured, not looking at me.

“Yes. I kept it a secret for as long as I could, all through my training, only using this power sporadically through the years. But I was too close to being caught whilst working in a medical camp on the Inner Rim, during a skirmish the First Order instigated on a planet because of their resources. A Stormtrooper noticed me healing one of the planet’s inhabitants, one whom he was sure he’d rendered on the brink of death. He wanted to take me to his leader, claiming he would have good use for someone with my abilities. I managed to escape him and ran, giving up my job, my home, all without telling anyone where I was going. I settled on Raxus, built my clinic, rarely having to use my power, never really worrying about being caught again. Until... Poe crashed on my doorstep.”

“And you had to use it then, didn’t you?” Rey assumed, obviously a question she had been waiting to ask. I nodded.

Finn’s eyes sparkled. “I knew it! I knew there was a reason he healed so quickly.”

The death stare Rey shot to him was severe in intensity, and under any other circumstance I would have thought it was funny. But my focus was centred completely on Poe’s expression as he remained engrossed in deliberation, his eyes still not reaching back to me.

“Is this why they’re keeping you held on the Finalizer? They wish to utilize your power to heal?” Leia guessed.

“They don’t know about it.”

Each of their expressions turned to disbelief.

“How? Surely Kylo Ren would have rummaged through your mind the minute you got on that ship,” Finn burst, turning to Rey. “That’s what he did to you right?” She nodded in agreement, still looking to me for my answer.

“I was able to keep him out, like I did to you Rey,” I replied.

Rey seemed impressed, and a realisation clicked behind her eyes. “That’s why he won’t let you leave. He hasn’t figured out why."

I became uneasy, suddenly worrying about the blame I’d been placing on her. “He thinks it’s because of you, that you’ve somehow placed a block around my mind. And I... didn’t exactly correct him.”

Rey let a sly smile form on her lips. “Well that would be a valuable thing to make use of, if only it were true.”

Finn appeared dubious. “I still don’t understand why you agreed to work for them.”

“I didn’t really have a choice,” I subtly scowled. “It was that or rot in a cell until Kylo Ren managed to infiltrate my thoughts, learning of my sensitivity to the Force, leaving me in a lot worse situation.”

Finn appeared understanding of that answer. It had been Rey’s own powers that made the man obsessed with capturing her. Leia, who had seemed more troubled while we conversed of the Supreme Leader, finally spoke up again. “How long do you think you can hold yourself against… him?”

“I don’t know.” My heart thumped with anxiety, reminded of his last attempt to penetrate my barrier. Thinking about it, with Poe’s image right in front of me, made a familiar sickness bubble in my stomach. He still refused to meet my gaze, his face pained, making an ache begin to surge in my chest.

“Well we have to make some kind of plan right? To rescue her before that happens? Poe?” Finn insisted, somehow rustling Poe out from his inner turmoil.

“Right. Sure. Of course,” he agreed, only the slightest glance in my direction. I had to clench my teeth to hold back the tears wanting to form in my eyes, his indifferent response causing a wave of guilt to wash through.

Leia could sense the tense energy exchanging between us, even through the holo. “Finn, Rey, let’s start discussing our next move. Away from the holoprojector.” She looked firmly at the two, an unspoken communication. Rey shot me a look of both support and sympathy, understanding exactly why Leia was leading them away.

“Hang in there,” Finn added before standing to leave. “We’ll get you out real soon.”

I tried my best to reply with a grateful smile, but it was hard to form through the nervousness I felt at being alone with Poe after my revelation.

One by one their figures receded from the flickering blue picture, leaving Poe alone once again. I couldn’t bring myself to speak first, unsure of what to say. He felt further away than ever, his touch a memory that continued to fade.

Time was running out, the seconds ticking away as we both waited in stillness for the other to break the strained silence. When his eyes finally drifted to me again, I was wounded by the hurt in them, still acutely obvious in the artificial image.

“Why couldn’t you tell me?” he whispered. “You had all that time.”

I dipped my head, conceding. “I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” he shot with unrestrained exasperation. “Scared that I would continue to be grateful for you saving my life?”

I looked back up, stunned by his angered tone. “I didn’t want anyone to find out, let alone someone who had ties with the Resistance.”

“What did you think I would do, what the Resistance would make you do?”

“Pull me into a war I didn’t want to fight! Lead me into a life I didn’t want to lead!”

I could see his jaw tighten, an attempt in calming himself. “The fact you assume I’m the type of person that would force you into anything, let alone war, even after everything I told you, is insulting.”

“That’s so unfair,” I retaliated, my bottom lip on the edge of trembling. “I didn’t even know who you were when I decided to heal you. I chose to risk everything to keep you alive. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Poe exhaled hard, the sound crackling in the holo. “I will always be in your debt for what you did. But you still lied to me Alex. To my face. You assumed the worst of me, of all of us. You hid the truth because you thought we would take advantage of your power, not caring about what you wanted, what you could choose.”

“You haven’t lived my life Poe,” I argued, a ferocity beginning to rise. “You haven’t lived with the same fear I have all your life.”

He stared at me through the staticky blue light, silence once again taking over. We were locked in each other’s eyes, even through all the distance separating us.

“You pushed me away because of it, didn’t you?” he asked, the sting of his tone now gone.

I didn’t have to respond for him to know my answer. Suddenly there was a loud click of the door behind me, the hard-lock releasing.

Our time was up.

“I’m sorry,” I implored, only a moment before Poe’s face was snatched from my view, the holoprojector powering down into darkness.

My throat felt tight, a new kind of shame gripping tightly. I’d always been so afraid of sharing my secret, but not for this reason. Not because it would make me a liar in the eyes of the one I longed to be reunited with so badly.

*

I stayed in the darkened comm-room long after the hard-lock was disengaged. No one came to open it. Even if they had, they would have only found my figure sitting against one of the large data configurators, stuck in a motionless trance.

I wasn’t entirely sure what kept me from crying, because there was certainly a hollow sadness sitting on my chest, yet the emotion never seemed to manifest into anything. It was possibly due to the stark realisation that my power, my use of the Force, wasn’t a secret anymore.

And nothing bad happened.

They hadn’t been afraid, judgemental, desperate to use it for their own benefit. They had wanted nothing. Rey even kept it to herself, waiting for me to expose the circumstance in my own time, supporting the decision I’d made long ago to hold the power deep within.

Alongside the sadness, there was an intense shame thumping with my heartbeat. Poe had been right, once again highlighting my selfish and distrustful nature, even to those who didn’t deserve it. He’d always been unconditionally honest, and I had given him lies in return. He was right to be offended, to feel slighted by my deceit, our whole encounter now coloured with my dishonesty.

The only comforting part of the holoprojector discussion, apart from knowing for sure Poe with how we parted, was there was a plan being formed for my rescue. There was still a chance I might make it off this ship, escaping before Kylo Ren saw through my weakening façade. He had gotten closer than ever before in the preceding morning, and it couldn’t be long until he figured out another way to tug at my emotions hard enough to unravel me completely.

My only hope was that it wasn’t my attraction to him, the way he undeniably ignited the fire inside that he continued to toy with in his endeavour to push past the veil over my mind.

*

When I slipped back through the doors of the Prestige ward I was bombarded with questions from Risha and the other staff concerning the incidents of the night, most of them somewhat impressed with my boldness. While the others thought nothing of my return, assuming that for once justice had prevailed and I’d been seen to act in self-defence, Risha was obviously astonished I wasn’t still sitting in my cell. She followed me to the isolation room, where my intubated patient still lay in critical condition, but fortunately alive.

“How did you manage to convince them to let you out?” she questioned. “I thought I’d be visiting you in that cell.”

I read over the observations, the patient’s vitals seemingly stable during my absence.

I would need to thank Irwin later.

“I didn’t have to convince them of anything. My retaliation was considered appropriate by the Supreme Leader, so he allowed my release.”

Risha physically recoiled in disbelief. “There are like, 20 things wrong with what you just said.”

“It was a surprise to me too,” I agreed, continuing to perform my own assessment of the ill man in front of me.

“Alex, I don’t think you comprehend how unusual it is for the Supreme Leader to involve himself with matters like this.”

“I think we can both agree nothing about my situation is usual.”

“I mean, that’s true.” She folded her arms, still doubtful. “But for him to punish the Colonel instead of you. That’s just…bizarre. Snoke would never have been called to make a decision like that, let alone given any care for your wellbeing.”

I stopped, giving Risha’s answer more than a few seconds of thought. “Maybe he wants to be a different type of leader.”

She snorted. “We all know Snoke was the one who seduced him to the dark side, who turned him into what he is today. You think he would cast away his teachings, suddenly show compassion?”

“You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought,” I murmured.

“Well there’s not a lot else to talk about working on this ship. All we debated in the days after Snoke’s death, and Kylo Ren’s appointment as Supreme Leader, was whether his rule would be the same or significantly worse. No one even had the slightest notion he would be… like this.”

I shrugged, walking back to the progress notes and typing my assessment out. “Maybe he thinks if I owe him one I’ll be less likely to cause anymore issues. Maybe he hopes for me to like it here so I won’t attempt an escape.”

Risha tugged at my arm, making me look to her. “Is that something you were considering?” she whispered.

I didn’t want to give any kind of verbal confirmation to that intention, knowing now the ears always listening into our conversations. I also refused to implicate this sweet person in any of my future plans, knowing it was safer to give an overly dismissive answer. “Of course not. I wouldn’t even know how if I wanted to. I’ll just keep waiting it out. I’m sure they’ll grow bored with me eventually.”

Risha certainly wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t dictate that stance. “So how are you feeling? After… you know.”

“I’m alright,” I reassured, which was a blazing lie. “Better now knowing the Colonel won’t be back on this ward again.”

“Me too,” Risha breathed, showing me a small smile. Mild irritation sizzled knowing what it took to finally have someone to act on a predator like Colonel Wynver, still wishing his punishment would have been more severe. But I had to be appreciative that Risha, and the other women who worked here, could have some comfort due to his hopefully permanent absence from their life.

*

I farewelled Risha after making sure Irwin had given her an adequate handover of the nights new admits, noticing that more beds were now filled with those who had contracted the heavily contagious illness. There was a part of me that worried about the situation I would return to at the start of my shift this evening, but I was too exhausted to fret for too long.

I made sure to pick up a meal from the mess hall before returning to my quarters, horrendously starving from a whole shift without a chance to eat. The shower I had after ravenously devouring my food was just soothing enough to put me in a better state of mind before settling under the bed sheets to sleep, even with the ache beating slowly in the background of my mind at how Poe and I had parted from our transmission.

My only hope was Rey could make him see sense in the way I had kept my power hidden, maybe make him understand how harsh the fear was that drove me to lie.

Sleep arrived effortlessly this time, only minutes passing with my eyes closed before I was pulled into slumber.

*

When I felt my eyes open again, it was obvious I was dreaming, standing on a deserted beach, the horizon a flat line against the evening sky, a lone sun close to sinking past the ocean. It felt peaceful, a melting glow spreading through my body, relishing the sunset scene. But soon I realised I’d never been to a place like this before. I’d never even stepped close to a beach in my short life.

It was then I sensed the presence with me, the strange energy hovering far behind my figure. I went to turn, to face the mystery aura, but I was chained to where I stood, my eyes still viewing the yellowed skyline, the faint sound of small waves lapping against the shore. The energy shifted, my focus trained on its movement as it edged closer, finally taking a position just beyond my right shoulder.

“You’ve been doing spectacularly well,” a familiar voice mused.

I sighed. “I wondered when you were finally going to disturb me again. You’ve been unusually quiet.”

I felt a smile cross the figures lips, although I was unsure exactly what its face would appear as.

“You seem to be managing perfectly fine without my assistance. I didn’t feel the need to intrude.”

“As opposed to back on Raxus, when I couldn’t avoid your constant warnings?” I grumbled, recalling the many interruptions the voice had made concerning my growing attachment to Poe.

The energy moved again, my eyes darting to the space beside me, still unable to turn my head to that direction. I was only able to capture the image of a hooded figure stepping into my periphery, its face almost completely hidden by darkened brown fabric. I could just make out the shape of their lips. Human. And feminine, matching the tone I had heard in my mind for almost my whole life.

“You were making poor decisions,” the hooded woman stated. “Decisions that would bring about damaging consequences.”

“Maybe if I knew the consequences you seem to be so concerned with, I would make the right choices.”

She laughed, a low breathy chuckle that was oddly musical. “That’s not how this works. I can’t interfere with your free will.”

“Can you at least tell me what ‘this’ is? Why you’re inside my head?”

I could see her lips purse, a deliberate silence between us. “It’s not time yet. You’re not ready.”

An unwelcome shiver pulsed, irritation swelling once again. “I would ask what exactly I need to be ready for, but I can assume you won’t tell me that either.”

The woman smiled again, white teeth peeking through her lips on the edge of my vision. “I’m glad you’ve come to that understanding quickly.”

I exhaled hard, growing impatient with the interference of my much-needed sleep. “Is there a reason why you’re here now, deciding to show yourself for the first time?”

“I wanted to ensure you knew you were playing your part well, in the hopes it would encourage you to stay on this path.”

I creased my eyebrows, contemplating how any of my actions in the last few weeks would have been appropriate on this journey I was apparently walking. “And I’m assuming you’ll let me know when I might divert from this destination you’ve got in mind?”

“Indeed,” she nodded, her head lifting in time to watch the sun finally fade completely past the horizon, plunging both of us into darkness. “But I have faith you won’t require my help for the foreseeable future.”

I could only hope such a notion was true, this woman’s voice always having been a horrible strain on my thoughts. But without knowing exactly what I was doing so well, I was unsure if I could keep her intrusions from appearing again. I watched with the woman as stars began to glitter through the sky, reflecting on the stilled ocean, making an even bigger vision of night envelop the landscape. A delicate breeze of wind then brushed against my skin, and she was gone, her energy fading instantly, leaving me alone on the beach once again.

The soothing power of the twinkling scene soon made an overwhelming fatigue encircle my brain, and I was unable to prevent my eyelids from drooping closed.

*

It was obvious I’d been rustling in my sleep when I awoke again hours later, sheets twisted haphazardly over my limbs. I’d finally managed a full 8 hours, feeling the most rested I’d been in days. Although waking to an impossibly long list of questions I couldn’t get answers to didn’t exactly make me feel relaxed.

I laid on my back, wishing I could will the woman’s voice back into existence, only wanting to know why and how she housed her spirit inside my mind. The spoken warnings and guidance had always been there, pestering me with advice, sometimes threatening. But I always assumed it was a form of my own conscience, born from an unknown area of my brain that battled its morals against my decision making. Knowing now it was something more than that, that it was something or someone keeping a close watch over my actions, was oddly comforting.

Maybe I hadn’t been alone all of these years.

*

My last overnight duty before returning to the day shift was chaotic to say the least. Almost all beds of the Prestige ward became filled with viral patients, a large portion of the Finalizer Command leaders now in my company. A dark humour would have mentioned to the Resistance yesterday that this sickness was probably more incapacitating than their assaults had ever been, but I honestly didn’t want to place the idea of biological warfare inside their heads.

While my intubated patient had already improved from my last visit, I was now dealing with three more who’s health was extremely critical. I had never been so appreciative for the medical droids who worked here, their ability to recognise deteriorations in vitals being much quicker than my own.

I’d been given a status report from the rest of the ship earlier in the night, which implied the other wards were in much the same position. Although, it was interesting to note the slowing occurrence between Stormtrooper personnel, their armour and helmets seeming to provide an amount of protection that the Command leaders didn’t utilise.

The Bio-med lab had assured they would have a cure and subsequent vaccine within the next couple of days, pressing us to keep as many patients alive in the meantime. Which was easier said than done. Bacta didn’t help in eradicating the virus or it’s symptoms.

Fortunately for my own health I had already been afflicted with a strain similar during an assignment to Lothal in my training days, the illness sweeping through most of our workers, spread by one of the wounded soldiers. Luckily, none of us had been struck down too harshly, and it had left most of us somewhat immune. In knowing this however, I began to feel a looming dread for the medical staff of this ship who most likely had never been exposed before. It couldn’t be long before they themselves would need to be treated, and I prayed it wouldn’t leave me as the sole doctor still well enough to keep working in the time before a cure was found.

In the morning I handed over the night’s events to the day shift, giving strict instructions for the care of the four intubated patients, offering to return if I was required to at any time. I’d been afforded a full day cycle before returning to normal working hours, a day off of sorts, but with little freedoms being afforded to me on this ship to utilise my free time, I was quite comfortable in being called back to ease the load on the Prestige staff.

No such request had been made by the time I’d taken care of my daily routine, sleeping soundly through another 8 hours, this time without the interruption of vivid dreaming. It was early evening, which was only ever evident by the chronometer in my quarters, and I’d found myself too anxious about how the ward was coping to focus on the literature I was attempting to read.

The unease eventually caused me to change into the mundane set of informal clothes the First Order had allowed, wanting to pay a visit to the ward to ease my worry. A pair of black pants hemmed tight against the outline of my legs and a grey sweater which wrapped around my torso, leaving a bow at the back. I hadn’t pulled my hair up, assuming my visit wouldn’t actually require me to do any work. I wanted to appear as casual as possible, hopefully not implying they would be desperate for my assistance.

I was about to slip around the corner of the small lobby outside my quarters, pondering over the fact I’d never seen anyone enter or exit the two other doors, when I was disrupted by the sight of General Hux making his way down the corridor. He was alone, without his usual entourage of Stormtroopers My eyes narrowed, watching him suspiciously as he closed the space between us, noting the stressed expression he wore, his porcelain cheeks slightly red.

“What have I done this time?” I prodded as he stopped in front of me.

“I’m afraid I’m not in the mood for your juvenile mockery Miss Jago,” he snapped. “Come with me, I have a task you are required for.”

I folded my arms. “This is meant to be my day off.”

“You’ll find that I don’t particularly care,” Hux grumbled. It occurred to me how unwilling he seemed to be here, most likely a stern order behind his reason for being in my presence. “You don’t have a choice in this matter. Now follow me.”

“Could you at least tell me what you’re hauling me away to do?”

He didn’t stop his exit. “You’ll find out soon enough. I’m not going to ask you again. Follow me.”

It was curiosity that made me obey his demand, beginning to step behind the irritating man as he led me to an unspecified objective. When we started veering towards a familiar turbo-lift, noting him pressing the floor I’d memorised from the previous day, my whole body pulsed with anger.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I seethed, looking to Hux with a burning contempt.

“It was an order,” he replied sharply.

“It always is,” I fumed, leaning into the durasteel wall of the turbo-lift.

What did he want with me now?

Hux stormed ahead when the doors opened, my shorter strides barely able to keep up as we walked through the darkened hallway. With a simple wave of his hand on the security panel the blast doors opened to the room I had previously been forced into, the huge open view of endless space still taking my breath away.

Hux didn’t stop in the lounge area, instead swerving to the door at the far left, pressing a code quickly into the lock, waiting for me to enter first once it opened. I looked at Hux quizzically before moving past, taking a moment to register the scene I’d been made privy to.

My eyes scanned over Kylo Ren’s figure, now hunched into a ball underneath the sheets of his bed, a sheen of sweat noticeable on his forehead even from the doorway. He was asleep, however it didn’t appear even close to restful, his breaths loud and heaving.

“The Supreme Leader appears to be afflicted with the virus,” Hux stated in a hushed tone, still emotionless as ever. “He requires the care of a medical professional until his health returns to normal. I think you can understand the confidential nature of the task I’m giving to you.”

I nodded slowly, still stunned at what I’d walked into. “But why me? Surely there are other doctors who could do this. Ones who aren’t his hostage.”

“That is most definitely true,” Hux agreed. “But he asked for you.”

~

Next Chapter

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[spockandawe]

I doubt this is something I’ll ever even try to write, because I rarely have the energy these days to devote my energy to a ‘lol but what if’ ship. But never say never, and I legit wrote the emilonni and tlj/sqq fics, after all, so I’m going to write this down and maybe, possibly, someday come back to it.

Now, hear me out

Wei Wuxian/Jin Zixun

Yes, yes, I know, but give me a second. It’s the sort of ship where I kind of want to do it just to see if it can be done, and where the idea of ‘textual support’ is kind of laughable, and it’s not like I’m smashing together two super-popular characters who just never happened to speak, and it’s the kind of ship where I think I could only shake one fic out of it before I was repeating myself, BUT.

First, a quote:

The person at the head of the group was Jin Zixun. He said, “Zixuan, is that Wei making trouble for you again?!”

Jin Zixuan said, “None of your business, don’t worry about it for now!” Seeing that Wei Wuxian grabbed Jiang Yanli and was about to take her away, he added, “Stop!”

Wei Wuxian said, “Oh, you want to fight? That’s fine with me!”

Jin Zixun said, “You Wei, just what do you mean by going against Zixuan so many times?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him. “Who are you?”

Jin Zixun paused in shock, and fumed, “You don’t know who I am?!”

“Why should I know who you are?”

When the Sunshot Campaign had first broken out, Jin Zixun had insisted on defending the back lines, due to an injury. He hadn’t had the chance to see what Wei Wuxian was like on the front lines, and most of his knowledge had come from rumors. He hadn’t care much for him, thinking that the rumors were simply exaggerations. However, a while ago, Wei Wuxian had summoned all of the dark creatures in the forest with a whistle, calling away the fierce corpses Jin Zixun’s group had been about to capture, causing their efforts to be wasted. He was already displeased.

Now, in front of his face, Wei Wuxian was asking who he was, stirring up a strange sense of indignation within him— He knew Wei Wuxian, yet Wei Wuxian didn’t know him, and even dared ask who he was in front of everyone. It was as if this had caused him to lose too much face. The more he thought about it, the more irritated he became.

Now, there’s a thoughtful meta I hopefully reblogged to my sideblog, which I would have to dig up or recreate on my own, about the most sympathetic possible reading of Jin Zixun. If memory serves, it has a lot to do about the precarious nature of his social position, where he’s part of the Jin clan, and kind of the closest thing Jin Zixuan has to a brother, but also, everyone knows that Jin Zixuan has half-siblings coming out of the woodwork, and many of them would be stoked to get Jin Guangshan to accept them into the family. At this stage in the story, Jin Guangyao is already a major player and a hero of the war and part of the venerated triad, where Jin Zixun spent a lot of time... not in the thick of things, like most other peers of his generation.

Is he an asshole? Yes! Is... Wei Wuxian an asshole? Also yes! One of them may be a more likeable asshole than the other, but that’s part of the excitement of a story like this, trying to coax people into holding a fannish position that they’d never considered before, and aren’t particularly eager to be convinced of. I don’t think I’m bad at that uphill climb, it just takes a lot of energy that I don’t often have to begin that journey in the first place. Also, one of these assholes is a certified grade-A torturer, and it’s probably not the one you dislike. Jin Zixun isn’t starting from an insurmountable disadvantage here. 

And see, the thing that got my attention is this: Earlier in this chapter, Wei Wuxian is a little melancholy, thinking about how since the Sunshot Campaign, lots of people are scared of him, hardly anyone is willing to be alone with him, and almost nobody would ever be willing to approach him alone. And here, we get the information that because Jin Zixun was injured early and wasn’t on the front lines of the Sunshot Campaign, he doesn’t know to be afraid. He tried to provoke Wei Wuxian before the hunt, he’s about to keep provoking Wei Wuxian, he’s Jin Zixun and he doesn’t afraid of anything. Yes, he’s about to say some very hurtful things, but I look at that, and I think ‘okay, now how do we recover from this?’ Giving Wei Wuxian someone who just... plain isn’t afraid of him (but is also derailed by me, your author, from taking that to unrecoverable places) would be good for him. Jiang Cheng will antagonize him and isn’t afraid of him, but they also share years of history and are dealing with a lot of other stresses in this situation, and Jiang Cheng is asking things from Wei Wuxian that Wei Wuxian is struggling to provide, and the golden core thing is still hanging between them. Lan Wangji isn’t afraid of Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian parses his concern and worries as antagonism and criticism, and those stress him out in a whole different way. This dynamic, as much as I would have to work to make it happen, would bring something new to the table.

One of my favorite activities is crackshipping with sincerity, and when I poke at this, it genuinely feels like richer territory than it looks at first glance. A lot of the antagonists share some fascinating character notes with our lead, and what’s most interesting to me here is an elevated-but-precarious social position and the various stresses that puts upon our characters. Jin Guangyao is the most obvious example, and Su She echoes it more quietly, with how he struggled within the Lan Sect and eventually left (honestly, kudos to him for him and mianmian to be two of the only characters to realize that their home was hurting them and to leave). Jin Zixun is in a family position that’s close to being brothers with his sect’s heir, but isn’t quite brothers, and is close to the seat of power, but also in a precarious social position if someone acts against him. Jin Guangshan and Madam Jin create a dysfunctional family dynamic to grow up in, where Jin Guangshan’s heart attention strays from his wife, and his wife has beat at least one kid who wasn’t biologically hers in the household.

There’s some common ground, is all I’m saying

I don’t even know what would happen, necessarily, I’m talking this all out here right now, and the interesting part of ships like this is digging in extra deep, and seeing what unexpected thing shakes out. It isn’t quite in the style of the other notable rarepair fics I have managed to write, which tend to follow a paradigm of ‘[person] is floating unmoored from the world, and [love interest] gets them engaged with life again’, but it’s not totally out of line with my interests. Svsss won’t give us more detail about Tianlang-jun? Okay, what happens if I make him hopelessly fond, what happens then? What happens if I properly re-engage his sense of humor? I hardly had anything of substance to go on with Horuss, and that fic is old, but I managed to pull interesting things out of him with Roxy. And I mean... what does happen when Jin Zixun stops self-destructively antagonizing the people around him and starts acting in more neutral ways? Not even positive, I think this relationship is going to have a strong antagonistic component, but what happens if he stops basing his interactions purely on who gets the higher rung on the social ladder?

Now, I do have a problem, which is that plot is something that happens to other people. See also: the reason there has not been a tianlang-jun sequel. I think that it would almost definitely have to do with repairing the situation between Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli and both of them managing to dial it back a LITTLE so as not to completely sabotage their family member’s happiness, and that leading things forward. And in a ridiculous pipe dream that will never be realized, because either possible pov will be completely oblivious, I would also want to include Jin Zixuan’s confused bisexual awakening and his resentful (also confused) attraction towards Wei Wuxian, even if he still ends up with Jiang Yanli, but... wei wuxian isn’t going to notice, and neither is jin zixun, SO. That’s probably right out. And the plot implications would have to be... significant. Setting it post-Sunshot campaign means that the Wen situation is simmering, and any plot that involves me untangling that mess... terrifying! I wouldn’t know where to begin! But like, also. What if I could write this ship in a compelling way. I bet I could do it. Nothing feels as good as the sensation of ‘I have scored points on my own darling readers by convincing them to like something they didn’t want to like’, and usually, I only get that from the second person pov. It would be so hard to write this ship. But also, what if I did it.

[yelena-bellova]

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve: Where We Go From Here

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Rey, Finn and Chewie return to D’Qar and the Resistance determines their next course of action.

Warnings: angst, maybe one curse word, more angst

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: This is a messy chapter but there were so many ends to tie before moving onto TLJ. Grief is also such a weird thing to write about because everyone handles it differently. Hope you like it and as always, excuse the typos.

——————

At some point during the flight home, after crying enough to dehydrate myself, I went numb. My tears stopped, my yelling ceased and I simply sat in the co-pilot’s chair quietly working. We grieved losses all the time in the Resistance, but it was different for me this time. This was my father. There was a part of me that wanted to hop out of hyperspace and fly to some corner of the galaxy where I didn’t have to see anybody. But I remembered my mother, Poe, and all the other people that were counting on us to return. I needed to see them and hold them, I needed to know that I hadn’t lost everyone today. They outweighed my desire to run any day of the week. 

Once we had landed safely, Finn was our priority. Chewie carried him off the ship while Rey and I brought up the rear. I’d used my comm to let base know we’d need medical and true to their word, they were waiting as soon as we hit the tarmac. There was a crowd that consisted of pretty much every Resistance member running towards us. The medical team took Finn from Chewie’s arms and I heard them say that they’d found a heartbeat.

“Y/n!” Poe called.

Poe was alive, I had that to cling to at least. I saw him speeding ahead of everyone else, stopping to quickly look over Finn before meeting me,

“What happened? Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly, taking me into his arms. I pressed my face into his flight suit, inhaling his scent as a reminder that he was real.

“Go with Finn, make sure he’s okay.” I replied quietly, he pulled back to ask another question, “Please, for me. I’ll explain what happened later.”

He hesitated before kissing my cheek and running to catch up with the medical team. Someone needed to be with our friend in case he woke up, though that was unlikely to happen this fast. Rey and I watched as Finn was wheeled away, we could do no more for him. 

It was then that I began to process what Rey and I had just been through. We’d fought together and almost died together, but then our relationship had consisted of little else so far. We met each other’s watery eyes and pulled the other in for a hug, holding on to each other gratefully. I hoped with everything in me that she wasn’t going to go back to Jakku, that she’d stay and fight with us. 

I pulled away to pick through the crowd, scanning for one person. I should’ve known she’d already be there waiting for us. My mother and I locked eyes and my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. It was clear to see she already knew about Dad, it was impossible for her not to have sensed it. I took a few slow steps towards her before running into her arms. We clung to each other tightly as we silently grieved together, there was nothing that seemed right to say. At some point we’d talk about it, but the wound was far too fresh. We were now the last remaining members of the Solo family. That alone was one reason I was glad I had survived, I couldn’t bear the thought of my mother having lost her whole family. She pulled away and took my face in her hands, pressing our foreheads together. I could feel her grief, her heartbreak, every emotion that was flowing through her. I’d made the decision flying back that I had to tell her about my powers. She deserved to know and I couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.  

We broke apart and I turned her towards Rey, they had yet to meet but Mom had heard so much about her. Rey looked like a kicked Porg, helpless and scarred by what she’d seen today. I watched Mom give my friend the first motherly embrace she’d had since she was a child. Rey sunk into it easily, but she quickly pulled me by the arm to join them. The three of us stood there for a moment, taking comfort in the fact that we didn’t have to face our struggles alone. I only wished I was shedding tears the same way they were, but I couldn’t find the strength to. All my strength, emotional and physical, had been used in the forest.

——————

I’d never heard the command center so quiet, no one made a noise louder than a deep breath. Chewbacca sat in a corner, a paw to his head letting out a little moan every few minutes. He was hurting just as much as me and my mother were. A couple majors and lieutenants stood around the round table, Snap and Jess nearby as well. Mom stared aimlessly at a chart, I’d come over and put my hand on hers and she’d halfheartedly squeezed it. We needed to mourn together, but we also needed time on our own. Rey sat atop a crate, no doubt trying to wrap her head around the situation she was now in. I sat on the stone seating against one of the cold rock walls, staring at a wall. Poe had entered eventually to report that Finn was stable and the medics said he had a fighting chance. While I was beyond relieved, I couldn’t crack a smile.

Poe kneeled down in front of me, “Sweetheart, what happened out there?”

I met his loving gaze, wanting to tell him everything but knowing that if I did, I’d feel too much at once. It would all come out in a jumble of tears and words. I was opening my mouth to say that when 3PO entered,

“General? Excuse me? General? R2-D2 may contain some much needed good news.” “R2?” I called, turning my head to hear a series of beeps I hadn’t heard in twelve years. I watched the familiar droid, who’d sat collecting dust under a sheet for so long, roll to find me. I dropped to my knees at the sight of him and threw my arms around him, “Buddy, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” I’m happy to see you too, but I’m going to need you to let go so I can show you something.

I released him so he could back up next to me and project a large hologram map in the air. Poe pulled me to my feet and we stood together examining it, the map was practically complete except for one missing piece. 

“Wait a minute…” I mumbled just as BB-8 rolled in front of our group to take a look at the map before beeping ecstatically. He turned to Poe,

Give me the drive! Give me the drive! “Yeah, all right, buddy. Hold on.” Poe went to the computer we’d saved the drive in and retrieved it. He inserted it into BB-8, who rolled across from R2 and projected a hologram of the piece of the map. Everyone in the room gasped as Bee inserted his piece into the empty shape, the map was whole. 

“The map! It is complete!” 3PO exclaimed, I covered my gaping mouth and immediately turned around to find my mother. She was just as awestruck as I was, I made my way to her and put a hand on her shoulder. I gave a breathy chuckle and we embraced, in the worst circumstances we had found a shred of hope. My uncle was out there and we could go find him now. After breaking from her, I turned to Poe, who was standing behind us, and practically leapt into his arms. Our mission was complete. 

Less than an hour later, our group settled around the map table to decide what the next plan of action was.

“We’re going to need a team to go and locate Master Skywalker,” Admiral Statura stated. 

“It doesn’t need to be a team,” my mother spoke up, “We can’t afford to spare more people than needed.” “So we send one person to go retrieve him?” Bracca inquired.

“Yes,” Mom answered, “But the right one. I’d go myself but I need to be here in case of an ambush. There’s no saying that the First Order doesn’t know where we are and with what we just did, there is chance of attack.”

“Commander Solo?” 

I was zoned out, giving all my focus to the center of the table. It was the mention of my last name that caused me to finally look up, everyone was looking to me expectantly.

“Are you willing to lead the mission to go find Skywalker?” Statura asked. 

I looked back down at the table, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say. I’d fought my mother tooth and nail over the past few years about going and finding Luke. But now that the time had come, I was less enthusiastic about the prospect. I was exhausted, beaten down and drowning in grief. But. war waited for no one and it didn’t care about your losses. 

I nodded softly, “I’ll go.”

Mom looked over, her lips pressed in a thin line and her eyes misty, “Y/n…” “No,” I objected, “Someone needs to and I’m the one that begged to go in the first place. It should be me,” I bit down hard on my lip, every part of me screaming to stay put, “I’ll be fine.” “General,” Rey said, “I’ll go.”

“Rey,” I began, watching her expression change from solemn to confidant in a matter of seconds. “Y/n, you’ve been through too much today to turn around and leave again. I want to do this, for you and for the Resistance.” I ran a hand through my hair and addressed the group, “I trust her, Rey was a scavenger on Jakku. She’s a fighter too, a damn good one.”

“Rey, are you sure you’re up to this?” Mom asked.

“More than sure,” Rey nodded, “I want to do my part.”

The most joy I could summon came out as a quirk of the corner of my lips. I was overwhelmingly grateful for my friend’s gesture though, and I would make sure to  communicate that. 

“Then it’s decided,” Mom announced, “Rey will take the Falcon, Chewbacca and R2 to locate Master Skywalker. The rest of us will remain here and keep watch for an attack. Meeting dismissed.”

Rey was almost immediately whisked away to get a change of clothes and a room assignment. I’d have to talk to her later. Meanwhile, I’d fill my quota of usefulness for the day and was craving the safety of my quarters. 

“I’m going to head to my room,” I whispered to Mom, “I’m assuming you’re going to stay here for now?” She took a deep breath, “I have to, someone needs to be steering the ship.”

I nodded somberly, my mother was the strongest person I’d ever known. Even while mourning the love of her life, she was still carrying out her duties. I attempted to do it but Mom succeeded at it, there was no second thought in her mind as to what needed to be done. 

“Darling,” she said as I’d begun to move away, taking my hand into hers, “Say the word and I’ll come running.”

Unable to think of the right thing to say, I simply squeezed her hand and hurried out of the command center. The walk to my room was uneventful, most people were still outside or in the mess hall celebrating our victory. Victory? Was it a victory? I suppose to most, it was the biggest victory the Resistance had seen in a long time. Meanwhile I’d just suffered my greatest loss and couldn’t find joy in anything. Yet since returning, three things that should have made me happy had happened. R2 had woken up, we’d located Uncle Luke, and Finn was most likely going to live. But my father was still dead, that was the overshadowing event of the day. 

I halfheartedly punched in the code to my room and dragged myself in. Shutting my door, the first thing I did was take off my jacket and unclip the lightsaber that I’d reattached in the Falcon. I tucked it away in a desk drawer, this time out of care and not shame. Dropping the jacket on my chair, I then sank onto the edge of my bed and buried my face in my hands. I felt like I’d aged decades over the past few hours. I shut my eyes and rubbed them, but as soon as I did, I saw everything. 

The red blade sliding through Dad’s back.

“No…”

His lifeless body falling down the shaft.

“No…” Kylo’s face as he attacked me.

“No…”

“You’re a worthless orphan who your brother should have left to die.”

“NO!”

I snapped.

I sprang from the bed and began using the Force to extract drawers from my dresser in a frenzy. Tears fell freely once again, streaming down my cheeks like the saddest river. I yelled as I extended my hand to the dresser itself, slamming it to the ground. Next was my desk, I tipped it over but the drawer containing my saber stayed untouched. I let out a loud cry as I raised my hand to my bed, lifting the mattress in the air and making it fly across the room. Once I’d redecorated the room, I was left with the overwhelming emotions swirling inside me. I dropped to my knees and sobbed violently as I replayed my father’s death and my fight with Kylo. I hadn’t heard the sound of the keypad beeping or the door opening and closing over my cries. 

“Y/n!” Poe exclaimed, his arms wrapped around me and held me tightly. I blindly felt around for his hands, which quickly grasped mine and squeezed. He made no effort to stop me from crying, he knew that if I was having this strong of a reaction it was justified. But his warm touch and soothing voice, repeatedly speaking my name, quelled my manic state. He opened his legs and adjusted me between them, my back falling against his firm chest. I leaned my head against his, occasionally he’d dip down and press a tender kiss to my shoulder. My tears continued to fall, though switching to a softer steady stream eventually. The room was near silent as he gently rocked us back and forth, the only sound filling the air was my sniffling. 

“He’s dead,” I whispered, “My dad’s dead.” Poe let out a heavy sigh, “I thought he might be, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” “I watched him die, Poe,” I trembled, “I watched Kylo Ren kill him.”

Poe stopped rocking and turned his head to look at me, “What?” I nodded, more tears escaping my eyes.

“Oh, Y/n…” Poe said lowly, “I can’t believe you had to see that.”

“I had to fight him too.” “You fought him?” “I didn’t have much of a choice.” He dropped his forehead to my shoulder, shuddering as he probably conjured up a visual of me battling Ren. I squeezed his hand reassuringly,

“I’m here, you didn’t lose me.” “I know,” he insisted, “I just wish you wouldn’t have had to go through all that.”

I sniffled, “Yeah, me too.”

Poe kissed my temple and between the tenderness of the moment and the memories surfacing, I began crying again.

“What can I do for you?” Poe whispered against my hair.

“Just stay with me. Please…” I whimpered before dissolving into another fit of sobs. Poe dropped his head back down to my shoulder and tightened his grip. We rode out the wave of sorrow together and once I’d quieted down, he told me to “stay there for a second” and stood up. I turned and watched him lug my mattress back up into it’s frame. Once it was secure, he came back and lifted me into his arms, carrying me over and laying me down gently. He climbed over to the other side and pulled me into his warm embrace, which I melted into. I settled underneath his chin and wept into his flight suit, Poe’s hand rubbing my back slowly. 

“Thank you,” I whispered. “For what?” 

“For coming back to me.”

Poe kissed the top of my head, “Always, sweetheart. Always.” —————

When I woke up, I was still cradled in Poe’s arms. We’d flipped in our sleep and his chest was now pressed to my back, our legs tangled together. He was lightly snoring, getting well deserved rest after what we’d been through. However I’d caught a whiff of myself and practically gagged. I was just as sad as I’d been last night, but I could mourn and be clean at the same time. Poe’s grip was tight but I was able to wriggle out, thank goodness he was a heavy sleeper. I navigated my way around the drawers I’d abused and grabbed a change of clothes. I tiptoed into the refresher and shut the door quietly, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like a person who’d been dragged through a desert, the snow, a couple fights complete with a wicked case of bedhead. So…not great. I peeled off my clothing, kicked off my boots, and got into the shower. I’d been so spent last night I’d even slept in my shoes. Poe hadn’t changed from his flight suit either so clearly he’d been just as tired.

Alone with no distractions, I thought of Dad again. Though instead of thinking about his last few seconds, I thought of our last interactions. In our last day spent together, we’d had two of our best conversations (we were Solos of course, communication wasn’t our forte) piloted the Falcon together, fought together and the best of them all…I’d reunited him with Mom and enjoyed a few short minutes of having my family together again. I smiled for the first time since yesterday at the memory of being squished between my parents, telling them I loved them. Love. Dad’s last words to me had been telling me how much he loved me, how he wanted to keep me safe. The man was a scoundrel, but damn it if he didn’t fiercely protect his loved ones. I’d known people in the Resistance who’d lost loved ones. Their last interaction with them had been a fight or they’d missed the chance to say ‘I love you’ one last time. I was lucky enough to have had a last day with my father that I would cherish for the rest of my life. Dangerous and crazy as it had been...That was perhaps the only comfort I could take regarding his death. 

I changed into a pair of cargo pants and a plain black tank top, understandably forgoing my commanders uniform. I towel dried my hair, brushed my teeth and felt a little better about facing the day. However, I could no longer ignore my stomach growling. The adrenaline that had sustained me since Jakku had long worn off and I realized just how dehydrated and starved I was. I quietly opened the door to reveal a sleepy Poe sitting on the edge of my bed rubbing his eyes. As soon as he registered my presence, he was up and crossing the room to me.

“Hey” he greeted, his voice gravelly, “I was wondering where you went.”

“Couldn’t stand my smell any longer,” I explained with a quiet laugh, intertwining our hands.

“If it helps, I didn’t notice any smell,” he said, smiling down at me. 

Silence fell over the room as our eyes met, his deep brown ones carrying the same worry and sadness for me as last night. Poe had many lovable qualities, but the one I admired the most was how deeply he loved the people close to his heart. He cared so profoundly for me it almost broke my heart in the best way. I gently pulled him down to place my lips on his in a sweet morning kiss. Poe’s lips moved against mine carefully, as if he was afraid I’d break with too much pressure. I almost appreciated it, a heated make-out session didn’t feel appropriate with the somber cloud hanging over the room. My thumbs rubbed against the sides of his neck as we broke apart, he pressed a final kiss to my forehead and encircled my hips.

“How are you doing?” he asked cautiously.

I sighed, “I don’t know. I’m still…shattered, but I’m also grateful for the last day I spent with him. I’m definitely not done crying about it but I also have work to do…” “Y/n,” Poe began, his hands sliding up my back, “You can take time off, you deserve it.” “No, no, not Resistance work. Personal stuff.” He raised a concerned eyebrow, “Should I be worried?” I chuckled, “You hitched your cart to a Solo, you should always be worried.”

Poe chortled, “I don’t think truer words have ever been spoken.”

A knock at the door surprised both of us, I padded over and opened it to reveal 3PO. He was carrying a tray with a large plate of food and glass of water,

“Good morning, Mistress Solo. Your mother requested that I bring you breakfast.” “Thanks, 3PO,” I took the tray from his hands, “I appreciate it.” “You are most welcome,” he began to leave but came back, ”Oh, and she has requested a meeting with you in her chamber before Rey and Chewbacca depart. 

“Okay, tell her I’ll meet her in a half hour.”

——————

After downing the food and drink 3PO had brought and convincing Poe I was well enough that he could go shower and eat breakfast, I knocked on my mother’s door. 

When she opened, she was dressed in a stunning blue dress with her grey hair styled beautifully atop her head. But the redness in her puffy eyes, identical to mine, suggested she hadn’t had a pleasant night or morning. I took her hand immediately as she ushered me in, as soon as the door was shut we embraced. What was it about your mother’s holding you that immediately brought every emotion you were trying to hide to the surface? Quietly, I cried into her shoulder but unlike yesterday, I knew that today we needed to talk. I dried my eyes and walked to her bed, sitting down and resting my arms between my legs. Mom sat down next to me and gracefully folded her hands in her lap,

“I just have one question for the time being.” “Hmm?” “Did you have to watch?” My eyes watered again as I played the long lasting seconds back in my mind, the blade had pierced him so easily. He was defenseless. And of course she’d known who killed him, she’d felt a double dose of pain when it happened. I nodded sadly and buried my face in my hands, elbows balanced on my knees. Mom rubbed my back soothingly, allowing me my moment. After I’d collected myself, I sat up straight and nervously began,

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago.”

I stood and began pacing, nervously rubbing my hands and trying to craft the perfect sentence. 

“Okay,” I paused my steps. “You might be mad or you could be really worried about me. To be honest, I wouldn’t blame you if you’re both. But please, try to understand why I kept it from you for so long.” “Darling, is this about you having the Force?” “Yes,” I exhaled loudly, “I’m sorry that I hid it from you for…wait, WHAT?”

Mom sighed as she looked at me lovingly, “Sweetie, I’ve known since the minute I met you. You practically radiate it.” I can only imagine how ridiculous I looked with my jaw slack and my brows furrowed deeply,

“W-wait,” I waved my hands, “If you’ve known for this long, why didn’t you just tell me?”

Mom raised her eyebrows and smiled, “Now, I could ask you the same thing.” I tilted my head quickly as if to say ‘fair point’ and crossed my arms, awaiting her explanation.

“Soon after we adopted you, Luke came to visit. As soon as he saw you, his eyes lit up and I could tell he knew. He pulled me aside and told me he hadn’t felt the Force this strong in someone since Ben was born.” I clenched a fist at the name spoken, but kept my focus on her words.

“He told me that when he met you, he had a sudden vision. He didn’t tell me the details of it, even when I pushed him, but he said he couldn’t. All he told me was that it was imperative to your journey that you discover your powers on your own.”

Imperative? Journey? What had Uncle Luke seen in my future? Mom continued, “We told your father, he never knew what to make of Luke’s premonitions but he trusted him. So we waited, waited for you to discover your power and tell us,” she gave a half shrug, “But you never did. Though when you were seven, I began to sense that you were feeling things like fear and shame. Am I right in assuming that’s when it happened?” I bowed my head and nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” “Because,” my head shot up, “Because the first time I used my powers, I used them in anger and it terrified me. I was so afraid of what I was capable of, I didn’t use them again for years.” Mom gave a slight nod, “I can understand that. Well, I can’t tell you how glad it makes me that it’s out in the open. But I sense there’s something more to all of this that I don’t know.” I blew my cheeks out and shook my head, “There’s a lot more. Do you remember the night on Chandrila when I took the Falcon?”

“Vividly.” she retorted, giving me the mom look that made every child feel guilty, no matter their age.

“It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep,” I went on, “I’d been communicating with…him, through the Force. That night, I sensed he was in danger and he didn’t answer me. I knew something was wrong so I took the Falcon and flew to Yavin 4.” A single tear fell down my cheek as I gathered strength to relay the next portion to her, “It was just as Uncle Luke said. Once I found him, I tried to reason with him but he was too far gone to listen to me. He turned on me and we ended up dueling. I managed to knock him out and was able to escape before he woke up. But not before grabbing this…” I reached into my jacket and unclipped my lightsaber, displaying it for my mother. Her watery eyes widened slightly, but she still maintained her calm composure. 

“I can’t explain why I took it, I just felt compelled to. Since then, I’ve been training with it and in my abilities to use the Force. I’m learning trial by error, usually I do it in the forest or in my room. I started carrying this,” I rolled the saber in my palm, “With me a while back, I just felt safer having it on me.”

I set the weapon down on Mom’s desk and placed my hands on my hips. The next chapter of my story made the one I’d just finished telling look like a fucking fairytale…

“Then yesterday happened.” “Y/n, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to-“ Mom began.

“We fought again,” my voice wavered, “Rey, Finn and I had just escaped the oscillation station and were racing to the Falcon. He found us somehow and I was furious about Dad and of course,” I chuckled bitterly, “He knew every single button to press, I attacked him and was pretty much ready to kill him.”

My face was wet with teardrops now and I’d turned away from Mom, too ashamed to face her. 

“He tried to get me to join him and that was when I woke up and looked at myself. I’d spent so many years worried I’d become him and... there I was, ready to strike him down. I dropped my lightsaber and told him no, I wouldn’t join him. Just like that night at the temple, he tried to kill me. If it hadn’t been for Finn, I wouldn’t be standing here. We ended up fighting again, except Rey stepped in too at one point. The last conversation me and him had was him threatening to kill me and wipe out the Resistance and me admitting that my brother was gone.” I ran a hand through my hair and turned back to my mother, her face was unreadable. She was staring at the wall, I could practically see the gears turning in her head.  

“I’m so sorry, Mom,” I whispered, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect Dad, I’m sorry I failed the promise I made you yesterday. I’m sorry I kept all this from you and I’m sorry that you have to live with another family member with the Force.”

Finally, she turned and said, “Why do you think you owe me an apology?” I shrugged and dropped my hands at my side, sniffling loudly as more tears fell. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry that you felt you needed to keep this from me. And I am beyond sorry that you had to go through all of this,” she stood and crossed the room to me, “Darling, people like you and I who posses this gift will always admit to having had moments of struggle with their emotions. But that does not make them bad people or too far past help. You’ve done this on your own for so long, honey, it’s time to let go of any shame or guilt you may feel.” Twenty years. I’d hidden this from her for twenty years, I’d been afraid of myself for twenty years. With her last sentence, I felt the chains I’d bound myself in break and I suddenly felt more like myself than ever. I sobbed out of relief and my mother threw her arms around me. We stayed like that for a while, grieving and rejoicing together.

——————

The machines being used to monitor Finn’s levels beeped and hummed steadily. I sat in a chair next to him, watching his chest rise and fall, reminding myself that he’d be okay. He’d risked his life to protect Rey and I, how was I supposed to repay that debt? I guessed that he wouldn’t be leaving the Resistance once he woke up, I’d have plenty of time to think of ways. 

A knock on the wall broke me from my thoughts, I looked up to see Rey. She was clothed in a new set of clothes, a white tank top, a flared grey vest, matching arm wraps and dark pants that were hemmed at her calves. 

“I looked for you last night but I figured you were probably busy,” she shared.

“Yeah,” I grunted as I readjusted myself in my seat, I’d been here a while, “Last night wasn’t a great night.” “Understandable,” she pulled up another chair and sat on the other side of Finn, “I’m so sorry, Y/n.” “There wasn’t much time for condolences after, was there?” I remarked, raising my eyes to meet hers. She looked like she was holding back a thousand questions and explanations.

“Rey, I’m doing alright,” I reassured, crossing my legs and settling into my seat, “Even if I wasn’t, we need to talk before you leave.”

Rey nodded and her shoulders relaxed with knowing she wasn’t intruding on my grieving. She proceeded to tell me how at Maz Kanata’s castle when she’d gone to retrieve Finn, she’d felt something pulling her in a different direction. She’d ended up downstairs and had opened up the chest to reveal Luke’s lightsaber. When she picked it up, she’d been subject to a terrifying vision that she said felt more like a bad dream. I had to stop myself from laughing, I knew nothing about those…

Maz found her there and explained to her that the lightsaber was calling to her. Rey had wanted absolutely nothing to do with any part of it. She’d run into the forest, that’s where BB-8 caught up to her and the First Order arrived shortly after that. 

“Ren found me there, he used some mind trick on me that caused me to pass out,” she explained, “The next thing I remember is waking up restrained and he was there. He tried to extract the map from me, Y/n, he was inside of my mind but somehow, I was able to enter his.” I had my chin propped up on my fist, leaning my weight on the chair’s arm, “I’ve no answers for you as to how you did that, I’m not as advanced as you may think.” “Whatever it was, I was able to do it without even thinking about it,” she continued, “After that, it just got stranger.” She explained how she’d been able to use a Jedi mind trick on a Stormtrooper to let her out and leave her with a weapon. Now that I had heard of, but never attempted to do. The thought of messing with someone’s mind felt invasive to me, but perhaps necessary in certain situations. Rey had made her way through Starkiller Base undetected until eventually running into us. “We saw you scaling the wall of the base,” I smirked, “Thoroughly impressive.” Rey smiled slightly and ducked her head down. We were at the part of her story where she didn’t need to fill in much,

“I didn’t expect when I reached out for the lightsaber that it would come to me,” she disclosed, “But Maz was right, it called out to me. I’d never used one in my life.” “Then that’s even more impressive than the wall climbing,” I chuckled, I was doing what I could to lighten the mood a little.

“I don’t know what my place is in all of this,” she said, looking around the room, “But I know I want to be a part of it. I just don’t know yet what this power I have is.” “Well,” I began, “I can fill in a few blanks. You’re obviously gifted with the Force, Rey. I have the same power, though I’ve gone untrained since I discovered I possessed it. I was just a kid and I was terrified of it up until today, so you’re already a few steps ahead of me when it comes to acceptance. Everything I know about the Force I know because of what I’d overhear from my family, what I saw in Kylo or by figuring it out on my own. I need help too, same as you. That’s why I’m glad one of us is going to go find my uncle.” “And you’re okay with me going?” she asked hesitantly.

“I’m incredibly grateful,” I specified, “I need to do my job from here for a while, but also selfishly I’m not ready to head back out yet. Not after what happened.”

“Your father,” she leaned forward, “Was a good man. He showed me kindness without even knowing me.”

I squinted, “I’m not sure we’re talking about the same guy.” Kind was not have been the first word I would use to describe Dad. 

“I mean it, he offered me a job on the Falcon working for him when we were on Takodana.”

“Ooh,” I inhaled, “I’ve worked on that ship with him many times before. He was arrogant, yelling orders left and right. Constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure I was doing everything right.”

“So I wouldn’t have liked it?” Rey asked. 

“Nah,” I smiled nostalgically, “You would’ve loved it.”

Rey smiled widely, “Even though the circumstances weren’t ideal, I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you and I crossed paths.” I beamed, “Me too. When do you leave?” “I’m actually on my way out now, but I wanted to find you and check on Finn,” she replied, “He’s going to be alright?” 

“That’s what the doctors told me this morning, it’ll just take him a while to wake up.” “Good,” she was looking him over with such caring eyes, it felt like a private moment.

“I’ll give you a minute with him, I’ll wait outside for you. Take your time.” I stood up and walked towards the door, but not before stopping to place my hand on Rey’s shoulder. She slid hers over it and squeezed gently, our close knit trio was about to go their separate ways for the time being. I exited the room and shut the door so that Rey had privacy if she needed to say something to Finn. After a few minutes, she came out the door looking as ready as she could for what lay ahead. We walked through the base mostly in silence, until Rey picked up on how many looks we were receiving.

“Why are so many people staring at us?” she whispered.

“Word travelled fast about what happened on Ilum,” I replied as I smiled at a waving worker, “I think we’re considered heroes now.”

“But what did I do? You guys did all the work.” “You got us into the oscillation station, plus you’re headed to go get Luke,” I said, “Get used to the word, you’ll be hearing it a lot.” Rey simply shook her head in surprise as we exited the building. There was a large crowd gathered outside the Falcon, people were eager to see it off. 

“Now I don’t have to tell you to be careful with the ship, do I?” 

“No, but why don’t you just to really drive it in?” she smiled.

“Gladly,” I said, “The Falcon means everything to me. I grew up on it, I’ve lived in it, I learned to fly on it. And now,” I stopped before the crowd noticed us, “Now it’s the last piece of my father that I have. If you have any questions, Chewie will be with you and he knows the ship just as well as I do. When in doubt, ask him. Please don’t take any chances with her unless you absolutely have to. You’re a fantastic pilot so I know you’ll do great. Just treat her well, she’ll protect you.” “Of course, Y/n. I’ll bring her back in one piece for you.” Rey assured me, I believed her. 

“I trust you,” I placed a hand on her arm and we began walking again.

The crowd cheered as they caught sight of us, they wished Rey luck as she passed them by. My mother was at the front awaiting our arrival, she pulled Rey aside and I went to say goodbye to Chewie and R2. Chewie embraced me as soon as I got close enough, we both shed a few tears into each other. Short on time, we had to pull away sooner than desired.

“You keep Rey safe and do the same for yourself,” I ordered, “Direct orders from your commander and un-biological niece.” Chewie purred in reply, promising that they would be okay and that he loved me. 

I hugged him one last time, “I love you too, fuzzball.” I went over to R2 and kneeled down, “I just got you back, now I’ve gotta say goodbye.” I’ll come back and I’ll have Luke with me.

“I know you will, I’m sure he’ll have missed you.” If he was going to miss me then maybe he SHOULD HAVE TAKEN ME WITH HIM.

“Hey, hey,” I laughed, “Don’t give him too much trouble when you see him, he’s been through a lot.”

Fine…

I wrapped my arms around him, “Be safe, I’ll catch you up on everything you missed when you get back.” I stood and turned to see Rey walking in my direction, it was about that time. Once she reached me, I saw her eyes carried the same unshed tears that mine did. We embraced each other tightly, I knew she’d be okay but I still had the overwhelming fear of losing her. After years of feeling alone, struggling with my powers, I’d finally found someone who was like me. We shared a unique bond that few could understand, we needed each other.

“Please be safe,” I said. “I will, you do the same,” she pulled away, “Is there anything you want me to tell your uncle for you?”

I sighed, “That his niece wants to hear about his vision. He’ll know what it means…”

Rey nodded confusedly, “I’m trusting you to explain what it means when I get back.” “Will do,” I replied, giving her hand a squeeze before she broke away to step on board the ship. 

I made my way back to the front of the crowd to stand with my mother, catching a glimpse of Poe dressed in his commanders uniform. 

“I’m assuming she talked to you before she left,” I commented.

“She did,” Mom responded, watching as the ship powered up.

“Think Luke’ll be able to help her?” I asked.

“Hopefully, he’ll help us all.”

Our hopes really did rest with my uncle, if anyone could help us it would be him. He’d helped save the galaxy once, hopefully he could give a repeat performance. I patted Mom’s shoulder and went to stand next to Poe, “Love the uniform.” “It’s itchy as hell and you know it,” he replied, sneaking a scratch at his visibly red neck.

I smirked and watched as the Falcon lifted into the air. It was harder than I thought it would be to watch it leave without me onboard. Tears began to flood my eyes, Poe must have been dialed into my senses because his hand intwined itself with mine. They’d be okay, they’d come back, I’d repeat it to myself a thousand times if that’s what kept me calm. The next time I saw my friends, my uncle would be with them. The Falcon jumped to lightspeed and then it was out of sight. The crowd disbanded shortly after, my mom was already being whisked away to a meeting. Poe and I stayed out on the tarmac with BB-8 at our feet,

“What do you have on your schedule today?” I asked.

“I cleared it as soon as I got back to my room this morning.” I tilted my head, “What for? “For you,” he replied, running a hand through his curls, “Look, when I lost my mom I was in a different mood every hour. Depressed, angry, sentimental, you name it. Whether you want to be alone or if you want someone there with you, I wanted to be 100% available.” There it was, that overwhelming, heart swelling feeling of love for him. I’d have to get used to it because I had a feeling that Poe wasn’t going to stop being this sweet. With the crowd gone, I pushed into him and kissed him firmly, pulling him closer by his collar. I’d caught him off-guard, but he settled into it quickly, his hands finding my hips. Once we broke, he nuzzled his nose against mine sweetly, 

“Whatever you need, I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, “Why don’t we go back to your room and you entertain me with the story of how you got off Jakku?” He kissed my forehead, “You got it, sweetheart.” We walked back into base, hands locked together and hope in our hearts that the future was brighter than what was behind us.

————

A/N: There we have it! I’m sad I won’t get to write interactions between Rey and the Reader for a while, but you’ll finally get a healthy, well deserved dose of Poe. And I swear one day I’ll learn how to write a decent kiss scene 😂 Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 😊

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @imaginecrushes @eternallyvenus @thescarletknight2014 @simplybarnes @captain-america5 @breyasficletblog @caseymcflurry @stumbleonmywords @april-14-blog @i-ievu @ultrunning @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @caswinchester2000 @meraki-loki @lovinnholland

[nonasuch]

how I would fix star wars

inevitably, I have been thinking about How I Would Fix Star Wars, and make the parts of TRoS that displeased me into a more coherent story. 

unfortunately, to do so will require the use of a time machine and veto power over the Lucasfilm Story Group. but IF I had those things here is what I would do:

I actually would not make a lot of changes to TFA. The main ones would be:

toning down Starkiller a bit as a threat, to a one-shot-per-planet deal but with a faster recharge time

slightly more stormtrooper stuff -- establish what Finn’s leaving behind and give Phasma a little depth. 

if possible, put some kind of distinguishing visual marker on the trooper who marked Finn’s helmet.

a small background detail that isn't important yet: after the village massacre at the beginning, show stormtroopers collecting the bodies, trooper and villager alike. if possible, do this after every scene with a significant body count, throughout all three movies.

either give the knights of ren some actual stuff to do or cut them out entirely

show kyle chafing at snoke’s leash, maybe demanding to know more about some of snoke’s various Secret Projects, and being dismissed

give rey a little time to settle in with the Resistance before leaving to find Luke. we don't have to show it much, just make it clear that she’s making a home there and has bonded strongly with Leia

clean up some weird pacing and make the travel times/distances between planets more consistent

honestly other than that I wouldn't change much. I genuinely like TFA a lot and its strength is in how well it establishes the new characters.

for TLJ, some bigger changes but the bones of it I'd leave alone:

make it more clear why the tracking through hyperspace is a big deal and make the solution less of a fetch quest

I really like parts of the Canto Bight plot but I would probably swap it out for something with more stormtroopers in it -- let Finn interact with other troopers and remind us that there are individuals under those helmets

(a recurring joke: Finn can always tell troopers apart when they’re in uniform, and Rose can never figure out how. he thinks it’s because he was a trooper, but no, it's because he’s Force sensitive)

maybe get close to convincing some of them to desert, but either they fail last-minute or the deserters get caught and killed

Finn and Rose escape by the skin of their teeth thanks to a trooper who helps them, letting them know that even if they aren't brave enough to leave, there are plenty of troopers who aren't all-in with the First Order

again, after any major fight show the body cleanup. troopers carrying and stacking the dead in neat rows. start hinting that there is something more ominous here than fanatical tidiness

the Snoke stuff -- make it more obvious that Snoke is orchestrating stuff other than just running the First Order. maybe have Hux ask about the cargo ships they're sending to the Unknown Regions, and get shot down

make part of Kyle’s refusal to leave w Rey due to his burning need to Know All The Secrets, and conviction that as Supreme Leader he could really clean up the joint

once Snoke is dead, show Kyle getting access to his secret files/vaults; do NOT show what he finds there

I'd also want to clean up some wonky pacing and timeline/travel distance stuff, probably, but again I really like most of the movie so it’s nothing major

also keep Phasma around for the next movie! what the fuck, she rules, why would you not

okay so that brings us to TRoS, which… would need a pretty major overhaul. 

First of all, we are working under the assumption that I have a time machine, so I made Carrie Fisher go to the cardiologist on the reg starting on day 1 of TFA rehearsals, and she’s fine and able to play the part as she was meant to.

with that in place, here’s how I would restructure:

we keep the Hammer Horror opening scene, but tweak the Emperor’s reveal. he’s much more corpse-y, without the tech umbilical keeping him alive -- a wraith animated by Dark power. 

lots of grandiose claims about his unstoppable army and his impending dominion over the galaxy, ultimate triumph over the Light, etc

don't show the armada yet -- just kyle’s reaction, which is genuine fear.

news of the Emperor’s return isn't a broadcast, but a whisper. a transmission from a terrified First Order cargo pilot, who’s learned the truth about his one-way trip to the Unknown Regions. passed through the lower ranks by rumor and hearsay. eventually leaked to the Resistance by an unknown First Order source

I like the idea from the beginning of the movie, that Rey’s trying to speak to dead Jedi through the Force. but it’s not working, and she shares her frustration with Leia

make it clear that she and Leia have a deep, strong bond.

give Rey a Jedi artifact to hunt for. maybe there’s a place or a thing that she thinks will let her commune with fallen Jedi, and that’s what they go looking for.

that lets us keep some of the fetch quest, but the First Order’s not as actively on their tail. 

they keep crossing paths anyway, and every time there are troopers doing something worse. maybe at one point they see troopers refuse to massacre civilians, and being killed themselves instead.

also they take Rose with them, because this movie needs more Rose

still have those post-battle scenes of body cleanup. now the cleanup crews are being killed once they’re done

this could be a good use for the Knights of Ren, actually. whatever is happening, they're part of it

Leia is more active throughout: she's on the move, recruiting allies for the Resistance, trying to figure out what's happening in the Unknown Regions

she has an actual scene with Lando, and he goes to Rey on her orders

tweak Poe’s backstory with Zorii. he worked with her while undercover for the Resistance, and left them in the lurch when the General needed him back. 

he’d have recruited her, if there had been time, but now he's glad he didn't: most everyone Poe recruited to the Resistance died at Crait.

when Rey crosses paths with Kyle, he’s obviously rattled. he Knows Something that he won't or can't tell her and he's even more fatalistic than usual.

lean harder on the unease/whispers of dissent in the First Order as they're told to do more and more awful things. maybe a scene where someone -- not Hux -- disagrees openly, and Kyle says something that implies that he's getting orders from someone above his head.

this gives Hux a chance to snark at Kyle -- isn't he supposed to be the Supreme Leader, now? who's telling him what to do?

off Kyle’s reaction -- someone is telling him what to do, and he's terrified of them in a way he never was of Snoke.

(keep Hux-as-informant, that was done perfectly)

Rey’s artifact hunt still takes her to the Death Star wreckage, off rumors that Palpatine hoarded Jedi artifacts. 

we meet Janna &co. Finn is so relieved and happy to meet other troopers who survived defecting. Janna tells him that there used to be more, that it used to be easier to get out, but more and more troopers have been killed in the attempt, without escaping.

by now it’s clear: there is Something Wrong With The First Order, beyond the obvious.

Rey fights Kyle in the Death Star ruins. Kyle tells her the Emperor wants to turn her to the Dark Side, that he can’t be refused or stopped, that even death won’t let her escape from him.

the fight plays out similarly, but Leia’s distraction doesn't kill her. 

after Rey heals him, Kyle faces his fear and talks to Leia via Force bond. He tells her what the Emperor is planning, and it’s Ben Solo who leaves the ruins.

he can give Leia files or some other concrete proof via the same trick he uses with Rey in the movie, because that’s honestly very cool and it was used really well, so we’re keeping that

when Rey talks to Luke on Ach-To, he tells her that Palpatine used the Empire to sow chaos and fear, because that made the Dark Side stronger and gave him more power to tap into.

Luke says: “I think he would have been happy to burn the whole galaxy down, as long as he could rule over the ashes.”

Rey realizes she can’t hide from the Emperor, and knows he’ll never turn her to the Dark. she goes after him.

Leia sends the Resistance to back Rey up and sets out to rally the galaxy with Lando and Chewie

finally, it’s confrontation time! Rey faces Zombie Palpatine, and he reveals his plan in all its glory:

he’s built an army of the dead. ghost ships, crewed by all those bodies we've been watching the First Order collect for three movies.

some of them we recognize, if we’re paying attention: the trooper who marked Finn’s helmet, Lor San Tekka, Hux. there are long-dead clone troopers, little more than skeletons in filthy white armor. half-functional Separatist droids. Resistance fighters and First Order officers killed on Crait. countless civilians. 

they’re all dead, all animated by Palaptine’s Dark Side powers, fueled by the strife and chaos he continues to sow throughout the galaxy

he doesn’t want to blow up any more planets. he wants to kill the shit out of absolutely everyone: the end of all life, and all Light. everyone in the galaxy a soldier in his undead army

he wants Rey to strike him down and become the new Sith Empress, ruling over an empire of ashes.

but we are discarding the granddaughter shit, because frankly it is not necessary and makes no sense. 

he can just be like ‘ah yes, a feral desert child, powerful in the Force, with no inconvenient ties to hold her back. I've had good luck with those, mostly.’

now, a brief side trip: what is the First Order doing, in the midst of all this?

well, the rank and file are actually not super down with the ‘join the glorious army of the dead’ plan. half of them are in open revolt; some try to run, some seize control of their ships and decide to fight for the living

Phasma leads Team Living. yeah, I kept her for a reason! Gwendoline Christie is great at this!

Ben shows up as before, fights the Knights, does the cool lightsaber trick with Rey. he fights with Leia’s saber.

when Palpatine drains their life force to restore himself, though, something happens differently:

it’s actually Leia’s life force. she gives up her life for her son and for the daughter of her heart, willingly and gladly, knowing she has rallied the galaxy to their aid. she tells them, before she goes, that help is on the way

the giant fleet that arrives to fight Palpatine has First Order ships in it. finally, everyone is on the same side. Palpatine has been playing both sides against each other since Episode 1, but it won't work anymore, now that they know what he wants. the long con is over. they're united against him.

Rey beats Palpatine the same way, Ben revives her the same way, but Leia’s sacrifice means he has enough juice left to survive it. 

idk about the kiss; I am Reylo-agnostic

but he’s going to try to shepherd the First Order into something that builds and protects, instead of destroying. 

people like Janna and Finn, who got out, and Rose, who lived under their heel, will show him how.

Finn is Force sensitive, and so are some of the other former troopers. 

some of them want to become Jedi

Finn wants to follow Leia’s path: do the training so he understands how to use the Force, but he's not meant to be a Jedi. he's going to be a leader -- not a general, hopefully, but a leader for peacetime.

so like. they won! hooray.

Rey takes the name Skywalker, still. Ben is fine with this: he’s a Solo-Organa. 

there can be a touching Force ghost reconciliation, or not, whatever

so. that is how to fix star wars. you’re welcome. if anyone out there has a time machine and an in with Lucasfilm, hit me up I guess?

[dgcatanisiri]

Fuck it, I’m gonna say it.

Finn deserved to be the central character of the sequels, not Rey. And no, them as co-leads doesn’t work because fandom is a racist dumpster fire who would have taken the opportunity to build her up as the star anyway - which we can see, because FINN was the central figure to The Force Awakens. He moved the plot along, if you take Finn away from that movie, the whole damn thing needs rewriting, while Rey is more there to facilitate and move his story along. But TLJ and RoS end up shoving him to the side, even with RoS TRYING to bring up his importance by even alluding to the idea of Finn’s Force sensitivity - something that TLJ wants to toss aside entirely.

And it would have been a whole HELL of a lot more meaningful for the trilogy to have Kylo trying to make a big deal out of a rivalry with Rey, trying to make her the only one he’d allow to defeat him, only to have Finn shut him up and kick his ass in their final fight, the one that doesn’t presently exist.

We deserved Finn’s story. Rey’s story, though? Hers is one that the Star Wars universe has done a million times. Hell, it’s Luke’s story, just swapping out a male character for a female character. Like, sure, “the Force is female” might make for a great slogan, but Rey is still a prop for the sake of fucking Kylo’s development all the same, because she can’t get to do a damn thing for herself that doesn’t involve him. It’s not a very empowering feminist tale, that her growth and development depends on this man, who she also sets out to “fix,” for no good reason and actually plenty of good reason that she should NOT try to fix him.

(And don’t start me a-fucking-gain on the fact that Finn got dropped from leading man to disposable C-plot in the name of promoting the fucking neo-natsee who chose fascism in his place...)

Finn’s story was the one that needed to be told. Rey’s... wasn’t. Hers is tried and true within the Star Wars universe. And honestly? If the Sequel Trilogy hadn’t had her? I genuinely think that it would have been an improvement, because then it would have HAD to keep the focus on Finn.

Rey’s just a very flat character who is pulled along by whatever the plot needs her to do and be in the story being told (by VERY different storytellers, no less), which just doesn’t actually let her actualize into a full character - hell, by the end, it’s the character who SHOULD be the bad guy who gets to fulfill the role of hero.

Finn is the REAL counterpoint to everything that Kylo Ren is - Finn is a rank and file stormtrooper to Kylo’s top level enforcer. Finn was taken by the First Order as a child and made to be one of them, Kylo chose to join them. The order to slaughter a village that Finn refuses to follow was issued by Kylo. Where Kylo shows anger, Finn shows compassion. THEY are the mirrors to one another, and THEY should have been rivals. Again, it would even ADD to Kylo as an antagonist by having him explicitly dismiss his ACTUAL rival in the name of pursuing a rival that he would rather have a connection to.

But instead, we have Rey basically take over Finn’s arc as the movies go on, making her into the central figure, the counterpart to Kylo, when she NEVER NEEDED TO BE. In fact, the Rey from TFA? She had every reason to think that Kylo was dead after their fight on Starkiller, a fight that she certainly was ready to kill him during. And yet, so much of her character in the next two movies centers on the idea that she is going to either be a better student and Jedi than Kylo or even that she can redeem him. Because... fuck if I know.

This should have been Finn’s story. And it is racism that decided that there should be this other character who exists and takes over his arc, leaving him as a character with nothing.

* = Note that I am not slamming any actor in this, just the executive decisions made that pushed Finn into the background when he was even sold to John Boyega as the Luke Skywalker figure of this trilogy.

[deafblindshorty]

Poe and Rey’s Underrated Friendship

I noticed that not a lot has been said about Poe and Rey’s friendship in TROS and related EU materials. That’s probably because it’s not the main focus, which I sort of understand. There are a lot of subtle moments of their friendship (even some hints towards a romantic relationship). Some of these points come from @greysmartwolf’s tumblr, others come from a discord server.

Disclaimer: I am not diminishing or minimalizing Finn’s importance to both Rey and Poe, but if it seems like it, then I’m sorry. That’s not my intent.

Let’s start from the beginning: Rey and Poe have a LOT of parallels throughout the trilogy (some of the same scenes, the same lines, they both face their past in TROS, they both blame themselves for the Resistance dying at Exegol, they almost gave up but two Rebel veterans gave them pep talks, etc). So, they have quite a bit in common including their love for flying and droids.

Also, about the age difference, age really doesn’t matter in Star Wars. Han and Leia are 13 years apart, Wedge is about ten years younger than Norra, and Snap is 16 years older than his wife Kare (He could be her father!). Huge age differences exist in other fictional materials set on our Earth- Brooke Taylor and her late husband from Legally Blonde are 34 years apart, Remus and Tonks from Harry Potter are 13 years apart, an old soap opera supercouple (Doug and Julie Williams from Days of Our Lives) are 20 years apart. As for friends, Will from Glee is in his 30s and is friends with a few 19-20 year olds and Sue who is in her 50s is besties with a 19/20 year old, 30 year old Launchpad from Ducktales is friends with 10 year old Dewey. So, 19/20 year old Rey being friends or dating 32/33 year old Poe isn’t that crazy or farfetched.

According to the TROS Visual Dictionary, Poe left BB-8 with Rey so she won’t feel lonely (and that’s probably also why BB-8 is with Rey on Tatooine). 

Poe was the first man Rey met whom she didn’t physically attack upon meeting him, and also smiled when they introduced each other. I don’t recall her smiling that wide whenever she was with Finn or Kylo.

They get along well in Poe Dameron #26-27. Poe was even a bit flirty with Rey.

It was Poe’s idea to build a Jedi training course for Rey in Star Wars Adventures, so Poe understands the importance of Rey’s Jedi training.

Rey understands what Poe went through with Kylo ( Poe also calls them ”Torture buddies!”).

When Poe, Finn, and Chewie return from the Fortress of Hothitude (I can’t remember what that planet is called. lol), Poe was so happy to see Rey. The way he walked up to Rey, his smile and his hands on hips. He badly wants to impress Rey. Alpha male!

And right after that, they have their only argument throughout the entire film. Poe and Rey quarrel in TROS was because they both didn’t listen to each other. They really only fight over the Falcon and BB-8. They both care about each other a lot, don’t blame each other in anything (except the Falcon being on fire and BB-8 missing a disc) and admit when one of them was right in argue (but prefer not to tell about that). Then Rey ends up smiling at him and Poe ends the argument by complimenting Rey (”You’re the best fighter we have. We need you.”). Also, Poe is the only one whom Rey talks to with sarcastic smile. Also, also, that argument is meant to parallel Han and Leia’s many arguments. Han and Leia argued every five minutes throughout the entire Original Trilogy, and they ended up together!

After sinking in the sand tunnels, Poe catches Rey and holds her bridal-style for a sec to steady her and was worried about her.

“He thought of protesting, of asking how Rey could possibly know which equally unremarkable direction was the right one. But Poe had learned that when Rey said things that way, her face determined, her voice unwavering, a fellow ought to just follow.” -TROS novel Poe knows Rey well. He knows when he must just shut up and do what she says. It kind of reminds me of Anakin telling Padme “Don’t worry. I’ve given up trying to argue with you.”

Poe taking the dagger from Rey in the novel and it felt like a weight has been lifted from Rey’s shoulders. It’s almost like he knew that would help.

The sand snake- I’ve never seen Poe so scared. But he is not afraid of that snake, he’s ready to combat it. I mean, he piloted the Falcon without fear into the mouth of a giant worm! Poe is afraid that snake could hurt or kill Rey. Poe wants to shoot that snake and pull Rey back, and he almost does that. And Rey amazes him again! And Poe sighs in relief when the snake calms down and slithers away.

In the novel, Poe didn’t scream “Nooo!” or “What have you done?!” when Rey “killed” Chewie. Poe knows there is no scenario in which Rey would harm her friends consciously. He most likely knows about her dark visions (Rey tells BB-8 everything, who obviously tells Poe all important stuff). Poe is not mad at Rey and doesn’t make her explain how that happened. And honestly, if he did do that, then he’d be a huge hypocrite, since he accidentally caused the deaths of the bombers in TLJ and the soldiers on Crait, which is why Poe was gentle with her. Rey understands Poe. His usual anger. They both have a huge responsibility. The Resistance on Poe and Jedi legacy on Rey. And she was ready to hear his anger, but he didn’t even plan to lay into her.

Rey likes that Poe can steal speeders and she finds his past interesting. Rey was really interested in Poe and Zorii’s past connection and Poe felt a bit smug when Rey was able to beat Zorii (He said “Don’t Dja’kanka” because he was afraid Rey would slice Zorii in half before she could help them). According to some audio book excerpts, when Rey was thinking about Poe’s past or his criminal skills, her voice was mysterious and nonjudgmental. Finn wasn’t happy to find out Poe was a spice runner, while Rey was completely fine with that, it seems she even liked that

After the Spice Runner reveal, as they traveled a snowy passageway, Poe glanced over at Rey, who was silent and frowning, lost in her own thoughts. Or maybe she was focused. Sensing something. 

When Rey rushed off to look for the dagger on Kylo’s star destroyer, Poe didn’t stop her and trusted her feelings. Poe knows when he must just follow her instincts. He learned to read her.

Look at pain in Poe’s eyes after Finn’s words. Poe wants to be closer to Rey, he wants Rey to trust him more. But Finn and Leia were still closer to Rey than Poe was. “Perhaps, she didn’t want to put the rest of the team in danger, but they had already signed up for that by joining the Resistance.” (TROS junior novel, Poe)

"She’s out there, heading toward the Death Star. Her skimmer keeps tipping over – it’s damaged. What the heck is she thinking?” (TROS junior novel, Poe) Poe is so worried here. And angry. Now he’s mad at Rey, but later he will be angry with himself for losing her.

“Rey’s nobility masked an impulsiveness that might doom them all – and as highest-ranking member of the team, Poe felt responsible for not curbing it. He had flunked the leadership test yet again.” (TROS junior novel) Poe blames himself, not Rey.

“Maybe there was something the general could do. During the battles of D'Qar and Crait she and Rey had shared beacons. Maybe there was a way she could reach out to Rey or Rey could reach out to her.” (TROS junior novel) Poe planned to find Rey!

So, Poe doesn’t think Rey abandoned them and doesn’t resent her for leaving. If he did, he’d be a big hypocrite here, too, since he abandoned his father, who was dying from a poisonous Lurker bite in Free Fall for the Spice Runners.

Poe trusts Rey and knows she can take care of herself. That’s why he didn’t rush after her like Finn did.

“Poe didn’t have his usual pre-battle swagger. He seemed distress. “What’s waiting for her out there?” he asked Finn.” (TROS junior novel) Poe worried about Rey so much! That she’s somewhere alone and they won’t be with her there.

Poe was incredibly relieved when Rey was revealed to be alive (and he was also worried about Rey when he found out the Emperor wanted her alive).

The way Poe takes Rey’s hand is special, it’s pure tenderness, and the way he rubs his thumb over her knuckles tells everything. Poe loves Rey more than friend. Also, Rey pinches Poe’s elbow with a hope, like she tries to reach him. And when Poe does the same, she happily closes her eyes and pinches him again.

Poe and Rey also acted so jealous of Finn and Zorii respectively. Poe kept asking Finn what he was gonna tell Rey when they were sinking in the sand. On Kijimi, Rey couldn’t stop thinking about what Poe’s past with Zorii was.

So, usually, men tend to date women who remind them of their mothers (Take Harry Potter for example! Ginny looks a lot like Lily Potter.). Rey and Shara Bey (Poe’s mom) look similar and they’re both brave, adventurous, and great pilots.

Men also tend to date women who remind them of their exes. Rey also looks similar to Zorii, plus they are both cagey, kept secrets, both love to argue with Poe, but they care about him, and are extremely loyal.

TL:DR. My point is that Poe and Rey are actually good friends and would be a great couple. Disney/LF were just a bit more subtle about their relationship.