#and yet here are the TORIES causing mayhem

[patrice-bergerons]

I'm still furious about the mini-budget but it is hilarious that the mini budget by the Tories, Tories the "party of fiscal responsibility", the "party of economy over all else", the "party of sound money" has sent the UK markets into meltdown. The irony is simply delicious.

[imagineyourstars]

＼(^^)／weeeee it's my birthday soon ww. Can I get a birthday scenerio with Tori? Thanks ヾ(･ω･`)ﾉ

it’s here !!!! it’s finally here !!!!! i really hope you like it !!! it was the first time i wrote a scenario for Tori lmao so i wasn’t super happy with how it came out and ??? i ended up rewriting it several times ??? birthday requests will be the death of me i’m already late for adonis and midori’s birthday sweats nervously  - mod mademoiselle

There’s one thing Tori is terribleat.

Sure, he’s talented, super cute, andhe always knows what to do to get youto spoil him rotten. His social skills are a bit… lacking sometimes, butnothing age and experience can’t fix ! But there’s something he absolutelycan’t do. Something that’s just impossible for him.

Tori can’t keep a secret.

He’d been super enthusiastic for thepast week, giggling and clinging to you constantly. While it wasn’t so unusualin and of itself, he’d get really fidgety whenever you’d ask him why he was insuch a good mood. Or he’d blush profusely while asking what exactly you wouldwant as a gift, “but you know, it’s justa question ! I-I’m not going to buy you anything, really !”

Yeah, he’d been planning something.Your birthday was coming soon, so you weren’t surprised, but you still found itpretty endearing. He was overexcited already ! Maybe it’s because he’s alwayslonely… He does tend to put you on a pedestal, too. So you knew for sure he’dgot something ready when you arrived to his mansion, right on time, at 3 PM.But well, you never thought he’d go thatfar.

You stated your name after ringing the intercom, and smiled nervously at the security camera right above the gate toTori’s house. Soon enough, it opened and a smiling Yuzuru greeted you.

“Welcome to the Himemiya mansion. Ihope you feel fine today. If you would please follow me…” He guided you throughthe gardens, trying his best to make you more relaxed with small talk. As usual,you were a bit nervous… Why is everything so formal here ? It’s notunpleasant, but it always takes a little moment for you to get used to it.Tori’s house is so big and fancy and… covered in balloons and party decorations?

You stopped right before the mainentrance, puzzled as to why someonefelt the need to put flowers and balloons everywhere, including where they shouldn’t be for securityreasons. It kind of looked like a very enthusiastic three-year-old wasresponsible for the decoration today. The colors were bright, cheery andabsolutely mismatched too. You could only try your best to suppress yourlaughter, while Yuzuru looked as serene as usual, holding the door open for youto step inside…

… and you were immediately greetedby a giggling Tori, jumping in your arms as soon as he saw your face peeringinside. Was he waiting right behind the door ?

“You came, you came~ ! I’m so happy ! Look, look, Igot everything ready for you !” He was practically screaming inyour ear, holding you so tight you couldn’t breathe. Right when you thought youwere going to drop him, he jumped down, smiling brightly before getting on histiptoes and kissing your cheek. You could only smile in your turn at such awarm welcome.

“What do you mean, you got everythingready ? Did you…” He nodded already, gesturing for you to follow him.Before you could even finish your sentence, he was gone, bouncing happily witheach step. He looked even more enthusiastic than you, actually !

You followed him along a corridorand eventually stepped into a small dining room, haphazardly decorated withmore colorful balloons and a large banner that read “Happy Birthday !” Yourname was written in bright red paint, and the banner looked like it washandmade. On second thought, judging by the paint splotches here and there, itwas definitely handmade. Tori wasbouncing on his feet, excitedly waiting for your reaction.

“So ? So ? It’s great, right ?” He looked super proud of himself, and beamed when you kissed himgently, patting his head to congratulate him.

“Yes, it is ! Did you make all that by yourself ?” Tori nodded at your question, a self-sufficient pout slowly forming onhis lips.

“Of course ! It was not hard at all ! I did just fine!” Yuzuru was smiling politely when he leaned down to very audibly whisper in your ear.

“Young master actually had quite a lot of… unforeseen accidents, but he did his very best for your sake. I hope you appreciate hisefforts.” You chuckled, trying to imagine all the disasters andmayhem Tori could have caused while trying to get everything ready.

“Hey, Yuzuru ! Stop it ! You didn’t even help thatmuch, you’re not allowed to complain !” Tori wassulking, half because of his butler’s impromptu comment and half because yourattention was no longer on him for a couple seconds. “Besides, I didn’t mess up the cake too much ! It tastes just fine !”

The cake ? Your attention wassuddenly caught by a small table, on which was proudly displayed a mess of acake. It was three stories high but leaned dangerously to the right, with messyicing and what was supposed to be a small almond paste sculpture of you on top.

“Oh, right, the cake. It’s… it looks delicious, Tori !” He smiled brightly at your comment, visibly relieved you liked it.Yuzuru was still smiling, as politely as ever, but you could just read thesnark in his eyes.

“I made some snacks too, just in case you feel likeeating something more… palatable, shall we say ?” Anothertable was covered in cupcakes, parfaits and various assorted sweets, lookingmuch prettier than Tori’s cake, you had to admit. Said Tori puffed up hischeeks, eyes throwing daggers at Yuzuru.

“Stop it ! I told you, it tastes fine ! I removed allthe egg shell bits too, but you weren’t even here to see it ! Come on”, he added, taking you by the arm to lead you to the table, “let’s just eat. And don’t pay attention towhat he says. Yuzuru, bring tea. Hurry !” You couldn’t help but smile asyou followed him, and he graciously gestured for you to sit before he did sohimself.

He insisted you blew the candles andmade a wish before (clumsily) cutting the cake himself, giving you the biggestslice with a huge smile. To be fair, Tori was right and the cake was ratherokay. Now, the icing was a bit too sticky and sugary, but you assured him hedid great for a first try, and he felt a bit better once you told him so. Youwere on the lookout for bits of egg shell, but were relieved not to find any. Yuzuru’spastries were amazing too, and even though Tori was intent on ignoring them, heeventually gave in and shared some with you, happily opening his mouth wide foryou to spoon-feed him. Once you were absolutely full with sweets, Tori beamedat you.

“So ? How was it ? Amazing, right ?” You nodded happily, and he kept going, eyes twinkling. “But that’s not all, you know, I also have giftsfor you !” He gestured forYuzuru, who came in carrying a pile of elaborately-wrapped presents. How manywere there… ? You couldn’t even count them all !

“Here ! The gifts ! I want you to open them all, okay? Here’s the first one ! I did it myself, you know ?” You hesitantly took one of the packages, feeling a bit sad at thethought of ripping that gorgeous wrapping off.

“Yourself ? Oh, Tori, you’re so sweet… Thank you somuch !” Yuzuru, who was taking the teacups away, gave you alittle smile.

“I suggest you open it before thanking him, next time.” Torilooked so offended at his butler’s comment that you had to suppress yourlaughter yet again.

“Like you can even say that ! Yours suck, you know !You’re becoming way too cheeky, Yuzuru ! Anyway, don’t listen to him. He’s justjealous.” You nodded, smiling, and unwrapped the presentquickly. It was… a painting ? It looked rather abstract. Maybe you were holdingit upside down ? You tried looking at it from another perspective, but Torigently put it in its original position.

“No, no, it’s like this. So ? It’s pretty great, right? Look, this is you, this is me, and this is the night sky, and in thebackground there’s also…” He blabbered happily about the deepmeaning of his masterpiece, while you were left squinting confusedly at it.Yeah, you couldn’t quite identify what was what, despite his explanations. Butthat’s just geniuses for you, always misunderstood by the masses…

“… and anyway that wraps it up, I think. You can hangit in your bedroom, I can give you a frame if you want !” Uh, why not, after all… That painting was definitely unique, but youstill thought it looked better upside-down. Tori quickly moved on, oblivious tothe fact you were holding his precious masterpiece the wrong way.

“But I also thought, ‘What if they don’t like it’, youknow ? So I wanted to buy you something, but then again I couldn’t choose justone gift, so I bought several !” Oh, so that was the reason behindthe pile of gifts. Could you even accept that many gifts ? How much did hespend on you exactly… ? He didn’t notice your sudden unease and kept going,bouncing on his seat excitedly.

“If you don’t like any of them, just tell me and I’llbuy something else instead ! Money’s not a problem, so don’t hesitate ! Butthese are all things you’ve been wanting lately so I think it should be— Hey, areyou alright… ?” Oh, right. You’d been lost in your thoughts for amoment. He looked worried, leaning over slightly to study your face. “You don’t look good, do you want to gooutside for a bit ? Yuzuru, can you bring—”

“Oh no, don’t worry, I’m fine,” you cut him off, shaking your head, “I’mjust… really thankful. It was a lot of money, and… You’re just so sweet, Tori.”His eyes went wide when you pulled him into a hug over the small table, andhe stayed quiet a moment. Worried, you pulled back to see if he was okay, andsure enough, his eyes were glistening with tears.

“Y-You’re the one who’s always so sweet ! I messed uptoday, I really did, the cake and the painting and all, and you’re alwayshappy… No”, he added when you shook your head vigorously, “I know I messed up, don’t lie. The cakewasn’t that good, and that painting ! Come on, it’s super ugly. But still… Iwanted to give you something I did myself…” He sniffled a bit, lips partingalready to keep speaking, but you cut him off with a kiss.

It was rather shy, but Tori kissedback, clumsily. His lips still tasted of chocolate syrup, and his cheeks werebright pink when you pulled back gently.

“You know, Tori, I don’t care if the cake’s a bit toosweet, or if the painting is… uh…” You caught his disbelievingglare, and laughed a bit. “Well, it’s abit weird, okay, but I still like it ! And that’s because you did it all byyourself.” He smiled shyly, cheeks getting a bit pinker at your words.

“Then, I’m glad you like it. I’m so, so glad you likeme, too…” He looked away a moment, visibly hesitating, buteventually gave in and hugged you tight again, pressing a gentle kiss on yourcheek.

“Happy birthday… I love you, you know that … ? And Iwon’t ever stop loving you, so you’d better be ready for many, many more messedup cakes, alright ?”

[itsfinancethings]

It’s hard managing the greatest health crisis of the last century on the fly; it’s even harder when that health crisis is accompanied by a global economic depression. Some countries have seemingly pulled it off. The United Kingdom isn’t one of them. And we haven’t even gotten through Brexit yet.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson is currently responsible for leading his country through three separate, though interrelated, once-in-a-lifetime crises of health, economics, and politics… The initial returns have been far from promising.

How the U.K. got here:

With over 44,000 deaths, the U.K. remains the worst hit among European nations on an absolute number basis, and currently registers the third highest death rate in the world; in fact, if present trajectories hold, the U.K. will soon join the U.S. as the only two developed markets in the global top 10 of coronavirus cases. There are no shortage of missteps to blame for that, from delaying lockdown measures in the misplaced hope that the U.K. would be able to bypass draconian measures and just zoom towards herd immunity, to continuous “mixed messaging” from the country’s political leadership about what was expected of Britons to keep the virus in check, to the prime minister’s principal advisor visibly flouting social distancing measures his government was requiring of its citizens and still keeping his job. That last bit cost Johnson a great deal of popularity. Not even a third of Britons support their government’s handling of the crisis. Based on the U.K.’s performance to date, you wonder how the approval rating is even that high.

The British economy has also taken a massive hit, with a 20.4 percent contraction in April (a figure only just released in June). Yes, the IMF expects a global contraction of 4.9 percent this year, but even then, the UK is underperforming—the OECD expects the UK to sustain the most economic damage of all developed markets this year with an economic contraction of 11.5 percent. That said, if there’s a bright spot for the U.K., it’s in its monetary policy response coming out of the Bank of England, which was quick and robust—one shudders to think how much worse the economic situation would have been otherwise.

What Happens Next:

Plenty of political observers were worried that Boris would use the mayhem and economic chaos caused by the pandemic as a cover to crash-out of the EU, thereby appeasing the more hardline elements of his base who prioritize independence from Brussels above all else, economic hits be damned. While that is indeed still a worry, the Johnson government’s mishandling of the pandemic has actually made that less likely, as 10 Downing Street is now actively concerned with its own sinking credibility, credibility that has undeniably been tarnished in these last few months by things both within and without its control.

Also factoring into Downing Street’s calculations is the potential resurgence of the Labour party under its new leader, Sir Keir Starmer. Starmer took control of the center-left party following Jeremy Corbyn’s disastrous leadership reign, under whom the party championed a muddled Brexit message that netted them some of the worst election results of its modern history (not to mention persistent accusations of anti-Semitism). Starmer has been trying to fix Labour from within, and hasn’t really made hay of the Brexit issue, possibly out of fear for reminding voters of his prominent position in the Remain campaign. But what he has done is absolutely excoriate Johnson over the country’s pandemic response during Prime Minister Questions, a regular parliament session where the Prime Minister has to respond to questions from the opposition in a public setting. Starmer, as head of the opposition and a lawyer and prosecutor by profession, systematically dresses down Johnson each week for the government’s missteps, which would be much more entertaining if the subject matter wasn’t so tragic. Nevertheless, the performances have resulted in him recently surpassing Johnson for the first time as the person most Britons would like to see as their prime minister. Again, Starmer has avoided wading into the Brexit issue, but the prospect of a crash-out, no-deal Brexit is likely to bring him back into the mix, possibly alongside the Scottish National Party (SNP) and centrist Lib-Dems, to demand another extension. Combined with the growing cries of pro-business groups against a no-deal Brexit during an unprecedented economic contraction, Johnson now has the most incentive during any point during his premiership to seek a deal with the E.U. While Johnson’s personal ratings have taken a beating, his Tories are still ahead in the polls, and they’d like to keep it that way, even if plenty of negotiation hurdles with Brussels still loom.

In the meanwhile, Johnson plans to use the next few months to launch extensive infrastructure projects, which he himself has likened to FDR’s “New Deal” slate of projects. While that may buy him some good political will on the margins, it’s the government’s pandemic response—or lack thereof—that will drive the Johnson government’s political fortunes these next few months… and with it, the prospects of a U.K.-E.U. trade deal.

[idratherhavefreedom]

#labour would have been crucified had they undertaken this much spending#and yet here are the TORIES causing mayhem#like BoE had to intervene in the bond markets#BECAUSE OF THE TORIES#incredible (via mr-iskender)

I'm still furious about the mini-budget but it is hilarious that the mini budget by the Tories, Tories the "party of fiscal responsibility", the "party of economy over all else", the "party of sound money" has sent the UK markets into meltdown. The irony is simply delicious.