#and yes let’s publicly talk sh-t about said person to everyone because that’s what you do to someone you lvoe definitely

[animationismycomfort]

I hate them so much I swear to god

(waste of material honestly)

[p-redux]

Well, folks, the day has finally come, I'm so angry about something, I can barely speak, let alone write. But write I will...

Here goes. I, Purv, in NO WAY, approve of Bcac's blog or her. It has come to my attention that after Bcac's account was deactivated by Tumblr and then quickly reactivated, she made this mention of me. 👇

First of all, what I said I said privately in a DM. If I had wanted to offer public support, I would have. I thought my DM conversations were private, apparently not. The person I DMed with has already apologized to me for betraying my confidence. Secondly, just because I said Bcac shouldn't lose her account does NOT mean I'm cool with her or her blog. I said in DM that I didn't think Bcac should have lost her blog, but because I think everyone should have freedom of speech, in general. That's it.

But now Bcac has taken what I said privately and weaponized it to try to legitimize herself with those other than the Sam-haters and Purv-haters she surrounds herself with. And THAT I'm VERY upset about.

Bcac has toned down her blatant displays of Sam hate because she realizes she has a captive audience of Sam fans who are waiting on his every move. And she provides that for them. But let me be VERY CLEAR, Bcac has disdain for Sam Heughan. And, she welcomes people who have disdain for him on her blog. And people who have disdain for me. She regularly commiserates with and allows comments from KNOWN Sam haters. They have harassed and bullied Sam and talked sh*t about the women he dates for years.

Here's a quick sampling of MANY examples, showing Bcac talking badly about Sam and allowing others to. 👇

Aside from the Sam-haters that Bcac welcomes on her blog, she also welcomes those who have made MY life hell for years and years. I recognize so many names from the past. People who harassed me all day and even tried to dox me. That's who flocks to Bcac's blog. Sam-haters, Purv-haters, don't be fooled thinking that's not the case. I can name names if anyone is interested in DM.

Bcac herself has talked sh*t about me privately and publicly on her blog. Here's a quick example of her making fun of me and also putting Sam down in the process. 👇

Here she is continuing to put me down, even making fun of my eye issues! 👇

Like I said, this is only the tip of the iceberg of Bcac and her followers mocking me. And she's toned it down significantly because she knows many of my followers now look at her blog too.

So, yes, I don't think Bcac should have had her blog deactivated, but ONLY because I believe in freedom of speech. Even for b*tches who talk sh*t about Sam and about me. And make no mistake, Bcac and her minions are b*tches. They're just hiding it better these days. Except for the blogger who shared my DM, she's not a b*tch. But I will be parting ways since I can no longer trust her. Silly me, I thought it was possible for someone to be best friends with Bcac and also be friendly with me. I should know better after 10 years in this Godforsaken fandom.

Tumblr only lets you post 10 pics, but if anyone is interested in more crap Bcac has posted about me or Sam, hit me up in DM, and I'll show you.

So, today is the day I draw the line in the sand. I don't want to ever hear Bcac's name or anyone associated with her. Why would I want anything to do with someone who puts me down? I'm not going to tolerate that. No one should. Soooo, anyone who is chummy to me on my blog, but then I get wind you're also chummy with Bcac, will get blocked. I'm done with this bullsh*t. I get it, she finds out Sam's every move and people want that info. So, go ahead and get it from her. But, you won't ALSO be able to stay on my blog. Am I making people pick sides? Absofuckinglutely. If that means I lose a lot of followers. So be it. I've decided I'd rather have no followers than two-faced people. I like Sam and I like myself. She doesn't like Sam and she doesn't like me. You can't be okay with her and her sh*t talking of me, and be okay with me. It's impossible. Simple as that.

Those of the more reasonable calm, Switzerland type personalities may not understand my choice. Those of the passionate, take a stand, have your back no matter what persuasion, will understand. Maybe it's my Italian blood, maybe, I've put up with too much betrayal and bullsh*t in this fandom. It is what it is. And what it is...is that I'll leave this post up for a few days for people to read it, and then I'll start blocking people. So, if you find yourself not being able to see my blog, you'll know why.

Again, this is not me being upset over some minor disagreement or Bcac constantly accusing me of stealing her stuff (funny, how a few days ago, SHE stole two exclusive pics I got of the Outlander cast at the Taylor Swift concert, but whatever), THIS is because she has said and says horrible things about me and about Sam. Obviously, she does it more in private now since she wants to keep her Sam fan followers. And so many eat her info up, not knowing she's secretly laughing about you in DMs with the Sam haters. I'm done turning a blind eye to it. And I want people to know how toxic she is to Sam. And to me. And that she used what I said about her blog in a very misleading way to make herself look good. "Look, even Purv thought I should have my blog back, I must be okay." Nope, don't get it twisted, sister. And the industry people in L.A. I know who know Sam personally were made aware a long time ago about all the Sam hate blogs, which means Sam was too. Those liking, reblogging, or commenting on Bcac's posts are guilty by association. JS.

For those who have supported me all these years, you mean the world to me. Loyalty is everything, so thank you. ❤️

PS. So much for not writing a long ass post. 🤷‍♀️

[korissideblog]

Ok! ONE more actor AU post, then I’ll start switching Aito’s quirk <3

(if you have any recommendations for that btw, send an ask lol)

[work in progress!!]

[We need to get this out for next week’s issue. Ichiro’s working on the visuals, you guys make the transcript look nice.]

[yes sir.]

[Aye boss!]

[You got it]

Hello! I’m Kiyoshi Ono, joined here today by none other than Shishio Ramos! Actor in the new series Kimi no Hīrō Akademia!

Hi! [awe! This kid is so sweet] [He’s barely said anything yet] [hush!]

Hi there Ramos! Could you tell us what this new series is going to be about, and who you’re playing?

Oh yeah! Totally! Well- pretty much it’s a highschool for super powered kids, where[nice][Nice!][?][look at the word count!][juveniles]they each can show off their special abilities and train to become pro heroes! Pro being taken literally there- they’re training to become professional heroes! It’s a really fun thing. Ah- and my character is Aito Takao! Takao’s a silly sort of character- kinda like a villain but she’s on the hero’s side in the end. She’s comic relief for when things get too heavy- mostly because she doesn’t care about what’s making everyone else all bummed out [laughter] yeah- she’s a really narcissistic character- but she’s funny so it’s ok.

Yes, my daughter read the manga that inspired Kimi no Hīrō Akademia, and she says that you guys are making a lot of changes- specifically to Takao?

Oh- yeah [laughter] we’re making a couple changes. Takao’s gonna have the same personality and stuff- don’t worry fans- but… you know, we’ll be adjusting a couple things to make Takao an easier role for me to play. He’ll be going by she/him pronouns for one-

She/Him pronouns?

-yeah! Takao’s gonna be genderfluid! For those who don’t know, there’s a ton of different ways to be genderfluid, but the way that I’m gonna portray Takao as- you know, the way I am- pretty much he’s gonna be kinda a little mix of boy and girl? Ah- it’s kinda hard to explain without getting into a lot of different topics, but- pretty much what the audience has to know is that you could refer to Takao with both he/him and she/her pronouns, and his uniform is gonna be both slacks and a skirt! [Ahhh! I just adore Ramos <333] [he’s just explaining gender presentation?][I KNOW!!!]

Alright, good to know! Anything else you think the fans would like to know about changes?

Yes actually! So- in the manga, both Takao’s parents are like, super dead [laughter] but! The writers thought it would be more fun to [nice] [juvenile][JUVENILE!!!] keep Takao’s mother alive, and be kinda ambiguous with his dad. I won’t go too much into it- but I think new and returning fans of the series are really gonna like it!

Perfect! Now, let’s talk more about you

Oh boy-

[laughter] Don’t worry Ramos- I just wanna learn a bit more about behind the scenes stuff. You’re just coming off Good Morning Nakamuras!, how would you describe the transition between Hanta Kobayashi and Aito Takao?

oh lord- [laughter] yeah yeah- there’s a lot of difference between the two. You can see it really prominently in the writing. Good Morning Nakamuras! was a family sitcom, so it was a lot of ‘someone says something’ ‘someone else says something’ ‘Hanta says something either funny or dumb’ and then a laugh track. Sometimes someone else would come after Hanta to carry the joke, but usually it was just that. [awe… I’m gonna miss Good Morning Nakamuras!] [same here, it was my mom’s favorite!] But with Takao, it’s a much faster pace. It’s just ‘someone says something’ and then immediately ‘Takao says something funny or dumb’ and then immediately back to ‘someone else says something’ and then ‘Takao says something funny or dumb.’ I-I don’t know if I’m explaining it well- it’s just that Takao talks all the time and always has something new or witty to say. He’s just a chatter box without a filter and- that’s kinda fun to do- I always get the final word and it’s always gonna get a laugh, you know? [have you guys seen the trailer yet?] [no, but my niece has! She’s really excited to see the premiere!!] [i have. it looks weird, but my brother is excited for it. his favorite is the blonde one i think]

There’s also the problem with the stunts, you know? Like- the worst of it on Nakamuras! was just the parts where I had to jump the fence, and even then it was just every couple of episodes. On KNHA I have to do all these cool fighting moves- and not to mention how deranged Takao is just… naturally [laughter] he’s just a very energetic guy with a fondness for climbing things- and people! Like you have no clue how tall someone is until your boss points at them and is like “hey, go climb them.” And you have to do it! The pro tip I’m gonna give people-climbers: it’s all in the legs [laughter] you just have to get your legs around them and pray that you don’t look as stupid as you feel. God- the worst part is when you’re climbing someone who's the same height as you! Hiroharu’s actor is about my height, and I have to climb him all the damn time. It feels like you’re gonna crush them, you know? Like you just have to be as light as possible and hope and pray that they can support you. And- and I know that he can, you know? Like me and him have the same personal trainer, and Kyo-San doesn’t do “easy” [laughter] I know that he can hold me, there’s just always that fear you know?

Oh definitely- and speaking of Hiroharu’s actor, we know you’re on the lower end of the age spectrum, do you think that affects how you all work together?

Oh no, definitely not! Yeah I’m younger than a lot of my coworkers, but not by much- 19, 20 in June. I mean I’m glad that I’m so young! Like I said- Hiroharu’s actor is about my height, and I’m like 173, and… you know… Hiroharu’s actor is over 21 I think- he sometimes offers to get drinks with us, so he’s definitely 21 and up- and I hear people stop growing after 18…

What? [laughter] What are your tying to say?

Oh my god wait- wait you can’t leave that in! I work with that guy! I can’t call him short in an interview before the show actually starts- ohh no! Oh god!

The average man’s height is 175!

Oh- ah I’m sure- I’m sure that-that’s true- oh my god-

I’m 174!

Oh my god we can’t leave this in! [laughter] oh my god- I’m sorry I just- I come from a tall family so sometimes I forget that- that you know people- oh my god we have to cut this out [laughter] [make sure to remove this bit] [awe! But it’s funny!!] [we’ll literally be sued if we don’t] [you two are no fun :(]

But yeah, age doesn’t really get in the way of things. We’re all good friends on set- especially Hoshizawa’s actor! Him and Shimoda-san are really cool guys, I love hanging out with them!

Shimoda-san? As in Kosuke Shimoda?

Yes! Shimoda-san plays Ikuto Maekawa, and since our characters are such great friends, I’d like to think we are as well! He’s a real fun guy, and I’m excited to work with such a huge talent- everyone- everyone there is so talented and I’m so lucky to be there.

Ah, speaking of talent. While a large portion of the cast is hidden, we have seen some familiar faces in the trailer. We’ve also seen some familiar faces on social media…

Oh my god-

[laughter] you never publicly addressed it, Ramos! Do you want to talk about your fight with Bryce Aoki?

Oh lord… [laughter] everyone’s so dramatic- so it wasn’t a fight- it’s just- ok so we had a little scene together where I would push him out of frame, but he wanted to still be seen and I was fine with that. Choreography is very important to me, so we had a passionate discussion-

Passionate discussion that ended with Aoki getting a black eye?

That- [laughter] that was an accident! I was- so we were practicing by the makeup desks- bad decision I know, but- stop looking at me like that! [laughter] It was just- we’re standing like we would in the scene, and I go to shove him- and- and I’m aiming for his head but- but maybe I accidentally hit his eye - and he absolutely wipes out, like this kid’s on the ground and I’m like “holy sh*t I just punched a kid” you know? [laughter] [she’s like, barely a year older than him…] but! Bryce is a sweetheart, and luckily he’s alright-

He got a black eye! He posted about it!

Oh he! He’s just a bit dramatic! He’s an actor though, it’s our jobs to be a bit looney [laughter]

Alright then, it seems we've run out of time for tonight. Anything you want to say?

Yes! I want to wish everyone a lovely evening! Thank you for the support! -And make sure to watch Kimi No Hīrō Akademia when it comes out this summer!

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. ��

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[ah-ga-seven]

Dude!!! honestly that was the angstiest of angsty chapters. My heart hurts for everyone..

Yeonjun - his relationship ends just as he’s starting to become a better person. Then finding out that the two people he trusted most had kept such a big secret from him. Regardless of their motives. The significant women in his life seem to have let him down. The only constant is Soobin… I would say maybe they should get together 😏 but I love SooMi too much lol.

Y/n - losing a relationship after finally figuring out her true feelings. I feel that the relationship would have come to an end regardless of when she told Yeonjun about his mother. She was always going to lose him. Finding his mother and getting answers, possibly building a relationship with her, is something he has to do in order to fix himself.

Juyeon - unrequited love

Krae-rina - for not having a life and being rejected soooo publicly

Why aren’t her friends telling her to ease up on the krae?!

Everyone should take this time for personal growth, so that they can become better people, friends and partners in the future.

We need to remember we can’t and shouldn’t try to “fix” others. We can only fix ourselves. The most others can do is provide support, love and advice.

I know a lot of people will think it’s so sweet and romantic 🤢 that Juyeon said he’ll wait for y/n… but to me it’s the most unattractive thing ever. Where’s his self respect?!

Juyeon if you’re not first choice, you’re no choice at all. He shouldn’t settle for being someone’s plan B.

Have I said how much I love SooMi?! The friends that we all need. The supportive, yet real friends, that will call you out on your sh*t.

Omg! As a Brit, Peng was the first word that popped in my head at the mention of British slang🤣🤣🤣

I tried to write less this time but didn’t quite manage it😅. It’s your fault, for writing such a compelling story, that I get so invested in and excited to talk about lol.

Really looking forward to seeing what happens next. But as usual take your time

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER @monbabyzshoebill I always want to make sure I take the time to reply to this.

I know, so angsty 🥲 it took a toll on me while writing it i can’t explain but i’ve never felt so emotionally drained after writing a chapter it was intense.

Yes. The thing is. He’s the one that let them down first by being a cheater and a manipulator, yet he has these women care for him to extreme extends and since he’s never had healthy relationships w women (his mom included) he doesn’t know whether or not his anger or betrayel is justified. It’s....fucked up. My best friend and I were doing a balance game of ‘who’s the bigger dick’ and honestly things weren’t looking good for Yeonjun 😂😂

With y/n. Dude. She set herself up for failure from the start. It’s all because of her inferiority complex that she’s worked her way into this mess. Y/n was used to being the other woman for so long that it didn’t occur to her that she doesn’t have to GIVE Karina the power in the situation. Y/n justified her choices by thinking it wasn’t her place to interfere...but she should have because she wasn’t the other woman anymore... she was the main character for once and blew it because of the ways yeonjun has damaged her.

LMAO it felt so good writing Krae-rina’s rejection scene ugh. It was great 😂😂

Yes, you’re absolutely right! Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep a distance. All of the relationships except foor soobin and mirae are toxic but in different ways. We have yn/yeonjun, juyeon/yn and karina/yeonjun. I write the three of them from different toxic/obsessive angles, and I hoped ppl noticed but no one has mentioned it yet 😭

It’s juyeons saviour complex as a capricorn man 😂😂 i know i overdramatized the hell out of it, but oh well. I can’t say much more cause i’ll spoil shit.

SooMi are the mvp’s of this story istg 🥺 the mains would be lost without them.

HAHAHA you’re britishhhh, i had no idea!? Well. I got the idea from that british slang video TxT did for Mtv it was so cute, I had to add some crack to lighten the mood even tho it was kinda impossible with all the angst.

Ugh, don’t even apologize. Seriously thank you so much. These comments is what makes writing worthwhile. Thanks again, and until next time 💜

[vileart]

Liz Richardson and Tara Robinson

Gutted

Pleasance Dome (Jack Dome), 1 Bristo Square, Edinburgh, EH8 9AL Wednesday 2nd – Sunday 13th August 2017, 14:40

Liz Richardson has an embarrassing problem and these yogurts aren’t helping! Here, she shares her real life experiences of living as a twenty-something with a chronic bowel condition called ulcerative colitis, similar to Crohn’s Disease. 

A shameless tale of love, laughter and lavatories, Gutted (co-produced by The Conker Group and HOME) is a pastiche of the many people Liz has met on her journey, from hospital staff to complete strangers, patients to friends. With a contemporary aesthetic, visceral moments and a love story bubbling underneath, Gutted, co-created with theatre maker Tara Robinson, is an engaging investigation into how we think about illness and the boundaries that cause us to feel shame. Sitting on top of a subtle celebration of the healthcare system, it explores how we treat each other and form relationships, the nature of hidden disabilities and femininity in the face of an embarrassing physical condition. 

What was the inspiration for this performance? Liz: Gutted is based on real life moments from my life since being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (an Inflammatory Bowel Disease). I didn’t start out thinking “I’m going to make a show about what’s happening to me” but I did spend a huge amount of time doing what I love best, people-watching! I love observing people’s eccentricities, the way they talk and move, and the way that others interact with them, and I started noting these down.  I trialled some of these notes made from this period into a stand-up routine as soon as I was fit and in remission, and then this routine developed into a richer and more theatrical performance as soon as I had been introduced to director/writer Tara. Is performance still a good space for the public

discussion of ideas? Tara: Undoubtedly yes. We’re very proud of the way Gutted invites audience members to actively engage with each other about illness and shame and provokes them into quite immediate conversation with each other. We’ve observed this at work in the minutes after the show. But we’re also proud of the way that as a publicly shared artwork it is also part of a wider dialogue that asks questions about how we view ill health and how want to treat each other.  I think the performed experience,  the act of sharing space with others, is hugely powerful as a tool for evoking empathy and bringing people together to reflect, engage and converse. We do feel however that how it reaches all of the potential audiences that it could benefit from is still a work-in-progress.  With Gutted we’re testing a model that tours to

hospitals and patient groups, asking audiences to meet us there in what is often a socially neutral space rather than an arts venue which often isn’t. This is a step towards broadening the discussion amongst a wider public. How did you become interested in making performance? Liz: I trained at Acting School for 4 years and left, like most others, with this enthusiasm for my future career and raring to go and be ‘found’...and, like most others, well, it didn’t quite go that way and I was unfortunate enough to become poorly. 

Despite having the few acting jobs here and there, I never really felt I was getting anywhere, with this disease continually rearing its ugly head. It was at this point I decided to start making the work for myself when I could do nothing more than rest up. And once I had started creating and had started to learn how to play with my own material, I found myself introducing myself to others as a Theatre Maker before saying I was an actor.  There was a whole new wave of freedom in creating a piece of theatre which reads exactly as I had imagined and which I could access when ready rather than fitting into everyone else’s schedule. It was a wonderful time for me creating

Gutted with Tara and it has spurred me on to continue creating my own work. Is there any particular approach to the making of the show? Tara: The show began with a process involving a detailed sharing of Liz’s autobiographical experiences and memories with me and the collation of these into themes and events. The real work began when we started to discuss the effect we wanted to have on an audience with these though. Liz felt strongly that she didn’t want to speak in the piece “as herself” because of how it might make an audience feel, so we devised a number of rules that meant she couldn’t. The first of these was that Liz would impersonate a dizzying array of characters, all those she met along the way, and the audience would be cast as “Liz”. Whenever we hit an obstacle within this form and the material wouldn’t work, we would try an alternative, resulting in a piece that mixes a whole range of ingredients: voiceover, audience participation, video, food and impersonation. If there was any one approach that could be used to describe our process it would be collaboration. The show wouldn’t exist without one or the other of us and the marriage of our artistic tastes. Does the show fit with your usual productions? Tara: I’m really drawn to making work about something I hear about or see in society that can be picked apart, that gives me space to challenge how we relate to each other. In that respect Gutted certainly fits with my other work. It’s about how we think about and deal with illness, and especially the kind of illness that is shit related. But it’s also like my recent work because it’s aesthetic is playful, the narrative fragmented, and it plays around with form to interrogate the content. This said, when we started making it I had never worked with autobiographical material and never made a show about something I had no personal vested interest in. That process was definitely new and very exciting, and the piece is possibly more narratively driven than the work I am making this year.

What do you hope that the audience will experience? Liz: My hope in making this piece is for it to be received with total open-mindedness. That audiences will feel that they can relate with it whatever their background or experience. That they can converse with each other and with those who haven’t seen it, about matters of everyday illness and health; relationships and struggles. I want the audience to feel part of the experience, needed and included. I also hope that they will laugh! What strategies did you consider towards

shaping this audience experience? Tara: Liz’s characterisations are really wide-ranging and they offer a very broad spectrum of perspectives and responses to how the people around her dealt with her illness. It is these that offer comedy and empathy as part of the audience experience and because they are offered largely without comment, they offer space too for reflection.  But in pursuit of making the experience welcoming and shared, we also wanted to ask our audience to interact more directly with the piece and so Liz invites them to read key messages from her mother and partner in exchange for cake or beer. We were nervous of this element to start with (we don’t always like audience participation ourselves!), but we feel very happy now that we have crafted a mode of interaction that involves a willing exchange and also reflects the story.  Also important in the work is the fact that the body being discussed is in the space. It sounds obvious, but this is Liz’s story and this is her body that’s been through this illness. Rather than explaining the medical processes that it has undergone through a video or slideshow, Liz paints her guts onto her tummy, indicating where things were operated on and reminding us of the authenticity of her body and voice.

Gutted is a frank, funny and compelling autobiographical exploration of living with an inflammatory bowel disease. Liz comments, Enough sh*t, let's talk frankly: I'm a woman who doesn't poo flowers out her bum. I'm exposing myself in hopes that more people will do the same. In an age of Instagram filters, this show attempts to give audiences the courage to find joy in the unedited journey of life, with its ups and downs and the relationships that guide you on it. Liz underwent surgery to have her colon removed when she was 28 and lived for a period with an ileostomy bag (or stoma bag) before having a ‘reversal’ which involves the creation of an internal pouch. She lives without pain now, but needs to manage and regulate her physical wellbeing carefully. While Liz is able to control her illness to a certain degree, this hidden disability does have its limitations and the shorter Edinburgh run reflects her awareness of potential physical fatigue.

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