#and yes i'm getting as much mileage out of this base i made as i can

[nbmahoushoujo]

so camilla's had a bit of an update!

[bagog]

Star Trek: Discovery Narrative Highlights

So I really like Discovery, but differently than I like other Star Treks. My love for Voyager, for instance, is based off the sense of found-family in the face of sci-fi shenanigans. I could pick out favorite episodes, but my favorite episodes don't necessarily represent the epitome of what I love about the show, y'know?

It's different with Disco. There are concrete moments from through out the show that made me go "Okay, I like this, I want this. More of this." Here's some of them! This is indulgent and all from memory

Season 1 - Klingons Speak Klingon

In a story about Klingons fearing the Federation as an institution which will irrevocably alter their culture, the Klingons actually speak Klingon. Love it. Season 1 - Gabriel Lorca

I loved seeing a Star Fleet captain who seemed to have ascended because of his skill at war: a trait which ordinarily would not elevate one within Starfleet service, per se. It made him interesting. Your mileage may vary on where this went, but. He's still a big appeal on rewatch.

Season 2 - Queer People Helping Queer People

The introduction of Jet Reno is one of my favorite hallmarks in the show. I love Jet, and I love the way she serves as a foil to every other character. But best of all, I loved the scene when she is talking to Hugh Culber about how distant he's been from his husband (since coming back from the dead, so, you know) and helps him by relating her own story about her wife, who is now passed. To say I'm happy to see queer stories on Star Trek is a massive understatement, but this was the moment it locked in for me. In the world of the Federation, there's no difference between being queer or straight and anyone could've talked Hugh out of his funk. But in our world, it's usually queer people helping queer people make sense of their experiences. Recognizing the importance of that distinction and going with the queers-helping-queers take is a really big deal for me.

Season 2 - Amanda

This is hands-down the best representation of Amanda we've ever been given and she is so wonderfully human and warm that it helps you understand Spock and Michael so much better. I don't know what to say other than that, I love her.

Season 3 - The Future

I love that they went not just into the future, but further into the future than any mainline trek lore has gone. Hell yes. I'm bummed it's kinda a post-Utopian mess, but I get storywise why that's the case. I love the future starships, I love the future technology, I like that we just "BZP" to wherever we want to be in the ship now. In a show increasingly steeped in centuries of canon lore, it's smart and challenging to try to do "a millennium in the future."

Season 3 - Queer Family

Queer Family! Queer Family in Star Trek! This is my queers-helping-queers point but dialed up to 11. Love it, would do anything for it.

Season 4 - Artificial Intelligence

The ship is alive and she's named herself. This comes to a head in an episode in Season 4 where Paul Stamets feels very hesitant about this, after the plot of Season 2 was trying to stop AI from destroying the galaxy. There's this whole Measure of a Man but Not Quite Because Its the B Story thing going on, but at the end of it, there's a twist. Paul eventually learns to accept his new crewmate, but then he asks the person in-charge of the inquest "What would you have done if I said I wasn't comfortable serving with an AI?" and the dude goes "I would've assigned you to another ship. This was never about whether she has a soul or whatever, it's about if you can learn to accept that with you 22nd century brain." And that's.... that's great.

Season 4 - Mental Health

Mental Health is a thread running through some of Discovery (Season 2 flirts with Spock's neurodivergence, for instance) but never more than in Season 4. Hugh Culber, the ship's ray of sunshine and de facto counselor, is in bad shape, mentally, and he needs help. But the best moment is when the away-team is beset by chemical memories of panic and basically rendered useless with fear... except for Detmer, who helps them all get through it. When asked why she was unaffected, she says "Oh I totally was affected, but after my grievous injury during the war, I went to therapy for the PTSD and learned some coping strategies" AND THAT'S WHAT SAVES THE GALAXY.

Anyway, this is very indulgent and probably nobody reads this, but thanks if you did.

[emletish-fish]

Frankly, I feel Amanda should've been way more conflicted about helping Tory. Like, she should be like, "Yes, these kids deserve better influences, but on the other hand, Tory here twice committed premeditated assault on my daughter and she's broken into our house".

(For Tory to be redeemed, and any sort of reconciliation to happen, she needs to learn to be empathetic to those she's hurt, and she needs to be shown acknowledging why her prior behavior was wrong)

It's a YMMV with the how people see the Mom-Triangle. If you found it unsatisfying, that's valid.

I also think the reason why everyone's mileage varies so much with the mom triangle will depend on whether people have a solution based outlook (what will solve the problem/get the best outcome is the priority) or a more punitive punishment orientated outlook (has the wrong-doer being punished sufficiently is the priority).

I unironically love it as a storyline. It was refreshing for me to see a female-centric storyline that was in many ways kinda removed from the karate drama and was instead focused on the relationships between women, and the role of a good female mentor/mother figure.

(I'm trying not to make too many predictions for season 5 aside from 'it will be batshit insane' BUT I think we will see Tory torn between two very opposing view-points, role-models and example of womanhood between Amanda and her new female sensei, (who in many ways will embody a potential cobra-kai embracing future that the old Tory would have aspired to. Whereas Amanda is presenting a much more compassionate example of adult womanhood and shows Tory that it is possible to be both powerful and peaceful).

I do think Amanda showed sufficient ambivalence towards Tory and some uncertainty about helping her during their second interaction at the dealership. It's implied that Amanda backed off helping Tory then and only resumed to do so after the girl approached her. During their third interaction, she is careful to give Tory space and only encourages her to seek help but makes no overtures of direct involvement until Tory asks.

I think, given the time-constraints, more time on Amanda not wanting to help Tory wouldn't have served much purpose.

Season 4 was an immensely crowded season, story-telling wise. With such limited time, I don't quite see what having Amanda pile on the Tory-sucks-train beyond their first two interactions would serve.

Because TV is a visual medium - so we already know that Tory has severe anger issues. We've seen her do unhinged things. We know that Tory is an angry and messed up kid in a terrible situation - so Amanda spending more time complaining about her misdeeds only be re-hashing what we already know, which isn't the best use of screen time.

Also, in the storyline, if Tory didn’t receive any help, there would be absolutely no driving narrative force for her changing her behaviour for the better.  Without Amanda;s intervention, then Tory would most likely continue feeling like the entire world was out to get her and lashing out accordingly.

Amanda meets Tory when she directly confronts her at work, taking full advantage of their power-imbalance and contributing to Tory getting fired. Yes - Tory gets herself fired by her angry outburst, (Tory having anger issues is well established), but Amanda can see she had a role to play in lighting the dynamite and feels contrition.

Amanda can choose to continue being shitty to a girl who already has an immensely hard life (that Amanda just made a whole lot harder) - but what would that ultimately serve the narrative? Seeing another adult bullying Tory/assert their power over her wasn't necessary for me. It's not something I would have found satisfying as a viewer.

We've already see Tory be sexually harrassed, propositioned and financially bullied by her landlord, fired without ceremony by her boss, and mocked cruelly about her dying mother by her aunt (her only living blood relation). We know money is extremely tight, her father is absent and her family had periods where they were starving and had food denied to them by cruel bosses (who also then fired her sick mother). It's implied she was sexually assaulted by an unknown adult male and had to physically defend herself.

(like enough already.)

As a viewer, I did not need to see another Adult mistreat Tory.

Tory has definitely made A LOT of mistakes. So Many. All the Mistakes. But when we look at her life, it's not hard to see why she's gained a 'It's a dog-eat-dog world' kind of cynicism and a layer of anger armour as she goes through life.

I actually think this direction, showing that Amanda also had violent anger issues but was able to work through them, is a much more positive one. Amanda is showing Tory here are other options aside from violence and compassion isn't weakness. She treats Tory gently, and considering how harsh Tory's life is, just being treated kindly by an adult without ulterior motive causes a huge change.

Tory's outlook completely shifts from 'No Mercy - there are no rules' to 'No. I won't cheat to win.'

What we didn't know at the start of the season is that Amanda had a rich history of Violent Teenage Rage and could see part of herself reflected in Tory's anger issues. Amanda identifies with Tory as a result. And she knew from experience the best way to break a pattern of violence and anger is with its opposite, kindness and understanding.

Rather than fighting fire with fire, Amanda chooses to try and take the heat down a notch.

Young!Amanda was treated with compassion and guidance, so she was able to grow past her anger. She's still feisty and assertive, but her rage no longer consumes or controls her.

Tory does not have anyone to show her this kind of compassion and guidance until Amanda comes along.

(For Tory to be redeemed, and any sort of reconciliation to happen, she needs to learn to be empathetic to those she's hurt, and she needs to be shown acknowledging why her prior behavior was wrong)

I don't think Tory needs to reconcile with Sam to be redeemed. Tory's attempts at being a better person should continue whether or not Sam eventually forgives her.

It would be great if the girls can eventually bury the hatchet, and Tory definitely should apologise to Sam at the very least - but I also don't think her 'redemption' should revolve around Sam.

You've said that Tory needs to learn empathy, but for me, considering absolutely no one in her life treats Tory with any sort of empathy, this will be a hard thing for her to learn on her own without any kind of lived experience or role models.

(This is not a dig at Tory's mom, who we've never even seen, but her illness has thrust the full weight of keeping a family of 3 running on her 16/17 year old daughter. Tory is responsible for earning rent money, preparing food, paying bills and supervising her brother. No matter how warm and loving their relationship, the physical reality of Tory's situation is unchanged).

But who else could teach Tory about morals and ethics and how to make amends and live a better life? Kreese? Her creepy and inappropriately sexual landlord? Her spiteful, greedy addicted aunt?

I will say that Tory suffers from very uneven writing, depending on what the writers want to do with her in that particular scene (eg her yoyo-ing concern about her family is very dependant on her proximity to Sam), and this can hurt her character arcs as she engages in some inexplicable dramatics for the sake of The Dramas!

However, showing that Tory will respond equally as emphatically to a positive role model in Amanda as she did to a negative role model in Kreese, is actually a really interesting step. Tory has an incredible amount of respect for Amanda and really takes onboard everything she says.

She isn't immediately a better person and she still makes bad choices, but overall, she shows that she is extremely receptive to Amanda and is beginning to absorb her world-view.

Learning the importance of conducting herself honourably in a fight was something Tory clearly learned from Amanda, (not Kreese or Silver). Amanda wanted BOTH girls to be able to move on and find peace and they were never going to be able to do that if Tory cheated (something she was later pressured directly to do by the other adult she respects the most).

It was easier for Tory to believe in the importance of fairness when she finally had a taste for it herself, when she wasn't broke and overburdened by the weight of caring for her family, when she didn't feel like there were no rules in life. Amanda helping her was instrumental in Tory growing. Finally getting a bit of sunlight helped her bloom.

Tory's life has been very unfair, and she's a poverty stricken and vulnerable young woman who easily embraced a 'no mercy' mindset because that was how she had always been treated, so this worldview slotted neatly into her lived experience.

Amanda showing her mercy caused her to re-evaluate her deeply held convictions. Tory's actions in the final prove that, at her core, Tory does want to be a better person and live a better life.

[thedragonlover]

The Short Okami Ramble Post So My Friends, Mutuals and Followers Who Haven't Already Might Go Play It

Note: I'll try to keep spoiling the fun surprises to a minimum but obviously I'll be talking a lot about the game. I'm sure others have done a better job of explaining it but, eh, who cares? This is just an excuse to gush about it.

So, for the basics, this game came out on the PS2 back in 2006/2007 (depending on your region), made by Clover Studios (which sadly closed a few months after its release). It has since been ported to the Wii, PS3, PS4, Xbox One, Switch, and onto PC through Steam. The name "Okami" is actually a pun, something I didn't get until my friend (the one who's playing it) recently told me that (as the Wiki puts it)

' the word ōkami (狼) in Japanese means "wolf". The kanji characters (大神), pronounced identically, mean "great deity", so the main character is a great wolf deity.'

I must've known on a spiritual level with how much I adored this game lmao.

Also I mean, look at it. The game's art style is... gorgeous.

Like??? I love it so much!!!

.

STORY

It obviously takes a LOT of inspiration from Japanese mythology. The main character is a wolf named Amaterasu (after the Shinto sun goddess). She is the wielder of the Celestial Brush (her tail, something my friend didn't notice at first) with a collection of techniques that, when you start the game, have been scattered across the land of Nippon among the gods to which she is the "mother" of. Gotta collect em all!

The pre-main menu video talks about the legend of Shiranui (aka Amaterasu's previous incarnation), a white wolf that helped Nagi (a fabled human warrior) defeat and seal the dreadful eight-headed serpent Orochi (based of course off of the Yamata no Orochi) that was eating the maidens of Kamiki Village year after year. Before this climactic fight, the villagers had assumed the wolf was another minion of Orochi--but then Shiranui ran in after Nagi like "yo worm catch these PAWS", and then strange miracles occurred that gave them the upper hand. Sadly, Shiranui's wounds from the fight were too great. A statue was erected in a small shrine to honor the wolf for helping save the village.

Then the game starts a hundred years later, when darkness was unleashed once more. The guardian wood sprite of Kamiki, named Sakuya, protected the village within a peach on her tree, and using the last of her power summoned Amaterasu back into the world. The goddess had weakened in her absence, losing many of her abilities, hence the player has to go retrieve them all to become stronger and defeat evil. (By the way, learned that the game director loved The Legend of Zelda games and, yeah, I can tell.) You don't say much, being a wolf, but you are joined by a little buddy named Issun, a traveling painter who is interested in acquiring the Celestial Brush techniques himself and so decides to come along for the ride.

And boy, is it one fun ride! A lot of stuff happens after this but, of course, I'd rather you play and experience it for yourself. Even if I'd love to ramble about all the different characters lmao

NOTE: It's a dated game, so it will have some tropes of the times and jokes that might not land well nowadays. I don't think it has anything horrible in it, but obviously your mileage may vary, so keep the ratings in mind before you decide to play.

.

GAMEPLAY

Speaking of brush techniques! They're the power-ups and abilities of the game. You start out with the Sunrise ability because. Y'know. Sun goddess. But you acquire many many more throughout the game. Thirteen total techniques exist--plus upgrades! Moves like Power Slash, Inferno, Cherry Bomb, Waterspout, Bloom, etc. They're used for combat, transport, finding secrets etc.

There are other abilities in the game too, most you get by going to one of the dojos to be taught by Onigiri-sensei. Yes, this old man will teach a dog new tricks. AND! There are several weapons of three different types: Reflectors, rosaries, and glaives. Each type, and each individual weapon even, has its own playstyle and abilities--and you can have two equipped, with one main and one secondary, giving even MORE customization to your combat style. I used rosaries my first few playthroughs with the other two types as secondaries, though nowadays I like to mix it up; my friend mains glaive, with rosaries as secondary.

The way you enter most combats is by running into a floating "demon scroll" that wanders the overworld, which then spawns a barrier around a small arena filled with various demons. There's also Demon Gates, which are cursed gates that sorta sit there messing up the place until you run through it and trigger an unescapable fight. Clearing those up often cleanses the land and gains you rewards, or unlocks new areas, so knock em dead!

Boss fights, well, they're generally very obvious when they'll start. Most are behind save points or checkpoints, and have a lot of build-up in the game. You generally won't get caught off-guard, but saving often and with multiple save files is still a good tactic to make sure you don't get your tail whooped or accidentally miss something you can't get back to. (Says I, the spastic saver.)

.

RECOMMENDED? HELL YES.

This game was obviously something I latched onto as a kid, but I've replayed it from start to finish so many times because I truly do enjoy the whole experience.

The characters are interesting and fun, the plot weaves together a lot of smaller stories into the larger whole, and the art style and gameplay really caught my eye and still kind of wows me. The themes of the game involve a lot of duty, honor, loyalty, heroism, compassion, and faith (which, while obviously used a lot in the heavenly sense, since you're playing AS the deity, I always felt like ended up more as a "faith in your friends" kind of way).

And there are so many ports and remasters of this game that it's pretty much available to everyone nowadays! If you haven't already played this game, I highly recommend giving it a try, if only to run around freely as a wolf and kick some tail to save the world.

Even if you don't pick it up though, I highly recommend looking at the art and listening to the soundtrack, because they are gorgeous even without any of the context! Some may have spoilers of course. But, there's a reason why this game was often used as proof of the argument that Video Games Are Art.

[hopeymchope]

For as much as i love Shuichi,yeah,i can more or less agree that Kaede would have made the game a hell of a lot better,ESPECIALLY since chapter 6 completely negated the plot twist and shafted Tsumugi along with it. It may not sound like much,but having the will to kill someone to get everyone out,is alot less impactful than ACTUALLY managing to kill someone for others.

Yeah, it could've been really interesting to see someone as aggressive as her take charge. How will she develop the investigative skills necessary to get through a trial? And hey - a DR character who will straight-up try to kill the mastermind herself and who isn't afraid to punch somebody if they get too rough with her? How long can she last before she smacks Kokichi across the face? :D

But RE: Your last sentence, I honestly think the two are virtually the same. While I admit that actually doing it is a bit more impactful, I'm of the mindset that attempted murder should be taken a LOT more seriously by our courts than it currently is — y'know, like I think we shouldn't be punishing people significantly more based on whether their intentions succeeded, because the ultimate goal is the same damn thing. You already illustrated an open willingness to murder someone either way!

(Whether we in the U.S. punish successful murderers in an incorrect manner is a whole other question. A question to which the answer is "yes." But I digress.)

So obviously, from my personal viewpoint, the twist of not having Kaede actually commit the murder didn't hurt the fact that she was actively attempting to commit the murder and just didn't succeed at it. She could've just as easily pulled it off, and she certainly believed that she did. She was clearly willing to.

And just as clear is that Kodaka and his team wanted to do the whole "The mastermind didn't even adhere to their own precious rules" thing as another mirror to DR1. Obviously, your mileage as to whether that mirror was worth it may vary a lot.

[beedaleebjd]

I ordered some heels!!! 😍 2 pink pumps for miss naelia and some black boots for my void queen. These are from he-meife on ebay and not only did they ship instantly, they just look... ~*incredible*~ 😍😭 They are made to fit minifee so your mileage may vary, but I confirmed that souldoll and loongsoul heeled feet SHOULD fit too based on measurements... and took a chance. So here's a mini review! Souldoll Kid Heeled Feet: Because SD has a more extreme arch and slightly longer foot, the heels are a touch tight and take some gentle working to get on. The foot 'floats' a bit in the heel but... I don't even care personally? I knew the risks so it could've been way worse!! 😂 The fur lined ones fit the 'easiest' (I even got her to stand alone in them?! 😳) but they all went on fine and the black boots still zipped all the way up!!! Woohoo!! Loongsoul 42.5cm Girl Body (B-G42-03) Heeled Feet: All of these fit SUPER easily because her arch is lower and her foot is shorter. Therefore, she doesn't fill out the peep toes as much, but again, I don't even care personally- I think its still very pretty and totally viable. I didn't try the fur pair on her yet but I assume they'll be similar, if not the loosest (in a matter of millimeters) but yes.

For the level of style and detail, these are all trivial critiques on a shoe meant for Minifee. I love them!!! I'm over the moon about them, the quality, the price... and wish I could afford at least 5 more pairs lol... 🙄😭💦

[qqueenofhades]

Hi!! 💕I was reading across your medieval queer history tag, and I came to the part of Muslims and homosexuality where you mention the active / passive narrative that this activity had.

I had two questions and I don't know if you can help me with them. I was wondering if there was something similar to that position in Nicky's time (?) at the European part of the world. And based on that, would it be a problem for the sexual activities that Nicky and Joe might have had? (sorry for this insane curiosity) I don't know if I'm being clear, haha. I mean, would it be a problem being active/passive for Nicky and Joe? ( based on common Islamic and/or European thought of the 11th century)

Thank you!!

Hmm. I feel like this is a better subject for fanfic (i.e. how Nicky and Joe viewed their relationship in the early days) because it touches on something historians can’t answer: how historical individuals privately viewed their own internal/emotional decisions and preferences. Obviously, Nicky and Joe themselves are fictional, so the only inner feelings they themselves had about how their relationship first developed, whether in its sexual components or otherwise, are the ones that are created for them by a team of modern writers and showrunners. As a historian, I can offer some perspective on the institutional, legal, and societal mores and customs that influenced how queer behavior was collectively viewed, tolerated, or restricted, but I can’t say how any given individual would have then interpreted that to themselves. Obviously, some gay people have been raised in such deeply self-hating environments that their internalized homophobia is very embedded and they struggle for years to get over it. Some others have been raised in the same environment but have never actually accepted any of it and have less difficulty in leaving it behind. Once again, this goes into the realm of speculation rather than strictly provable history, and which goes double for fictional characters.

Queer people have always existed in a complicated and sometimes contradictory relationship with the mainstream (that is, often heteronormative) dominant society. Sometimes they accept all of it in an attempt to “pass” or because they have been taught to be homophobic, sometimes they choose to selectively adopt parts of it but try to live a secret “second life,” sometimes they reject all of it. These choices are conditioned by personal safety/family background, political, cultural, religious, and social environments, formal and informal education, kinship and friendship networks, positive/negative reinforcement, individual character, and so on. There is not necessarily a “wrong” choice for a queer person to make, because each course of action comes with its own risks and rewards, but if you’re choosing to embrace your queer identity and to live out its truth (as Joe and Nicky seem to have done relatively soon after they met), then that will involve an element of rejecting whatever constraints heteronormative society has placed on you. After all, the formal legal conventions about sodomy in the Middle Ages weren’t developed in consultation with actual queer people. They reflected the concerns of conservative establishment clergymen, who weren’t interested in promoting social acceptance of it (and yet again, this doesn’t touch on THEIR actual feelings or whatever they might have done in private). I’ve discussed the complexity of disentangling historical homoromanticism (which was pretty widely celebrated in the medieval era) and historical homosexuality (which had a rockier time, but as I wrote about in this ask, the attempted policing of sexuality and sexual behavior was as much the case for m/f relationships as m/m or f/f ones -- nobody got away from this and it wasn’t just for the gays.)

Basically, I personally don’t think that either Joe or Nicky would have had a problem with sex or certain sexual positions, just because if both of them had reached the point of deciding that a Catholic/Muslim was their true love and they were going to run off together and be a couple no matter what anyone said about it, that already entailed rejecting a huge amount of the ideology they were originally taught and grew up with. It’s again a subject for fanfic how much Joe and Nicky were personally comfortable with being queer before they met each other, so this would more likely be a rejection of religious teaching about the unworthiness/evilness of the rival faith (as Nicky says, the love of his life was from the people he had been taught to hate). Since almost all medieval queer behavior and views on queer people had a religious component, if Joe/Nicky had gotten as far as rejecting the religious tenet that told them the other was Evil, they were (again, in my opinion) extremely unlikely to use any of those old religious arguments for prohibiting or proscribing certain kinds of sexual activity. I’m sure they had to negotiate many issues in the early days of their relationship (as I write about in DVLA), but they’re clearly head over heels in love with each other, wildly attracted to each other and have been for almost a millennium, and eager to embrace the physicality of that relationship, so I don’t personally see this as being a major stumbling block.

That said, you did ask about European views on sodomy in the 11th century and whether there was a parallel to Islamic views on the moral acceptability of the active vis-a-vis the passive partner. Since antiquity, there has always been less “shame” attached to the penetrative/top partner in sex, no matter whether the receiving partner is male or female. Ancient Greece is another example of this, where the adult man could not be penetrated without insult to his manhood and dignity, but the fact of him penetrating a younger man/teenage boy was a fine and even accepted rite of passage. We can obviously talk about how this is related to phallocentrism and misogyny, because the person “receiving” sex is usually expected to be a woman or a woman-equivalent person, which entails lower social status. The dominant male can take whichever sexual partner he pleases, and it’s a mark of honor and status for him to be virile (the very, very ancient chestnut about why playboys are tolerated and admired while sexually active women are “sluts.”) The gender of his partners might not matter as much as their social class, their status in relation to his, his “right” to expect sexual availability from them, and a whole lot of other factors. This could be and also was the case in medieval Europe. But may we point out that the men engaging in these kind of explicitly unequal relationships, which are more about reinforcing power and control than real desire, are very, very unlike the equal and loving mutual partnership between Joe and Nicky, where they were clearly happy to please and respect the other in whatever way.

It has not always been the case that same-sex activity would automatically be defined and suspect, though yes, there has never been an instance in Western history where it was placed uncomplicatedly on the same level as opposite-sex activity. It had to be constructed that way. As I keep saying, modern homophobia is a lot more stringent and explicit than any medieval expressions thereof, because if “homosexuality” was not constructed as a clearly recognized identity, there was less ability to rail against it. In fact, the usual rhetorical tactic was to just ignore it. Sodomy is known as the “silent sin” or “peccatum mutum” in Latin, because moralists usually didn’t talk about it or discuss it or give it an actual framework for debate and thus implied legitimacy. There were obvious exceptions (Peter Damian, Peter the Chanter, Bernardino of Siena, Heinrich Kramer, etc, etc) and as the medieval era went on, homosexuality became more grouped in with other undesirables. But that also reflected a growing visibility/awareness among people as to what it was. As I keep saying, you can’t be anxious about something, you can’t be worried about people being susceptible to it, you can’t be worried that it’s happening in reality, if it’s just an abstract concern of rhetoric that only a handful of churchmen know about. The increasing visibility of queerness as a category of exclusion in late medieval polemics reflected a) the social stress of the crises of the late medieval world and the usual function of Others as a scapegoat and b) the fact that by then, people must have had enough awareness of it as a pattern of consistent behavior for clerics to get mileage out of attacking it.

Anyway. In an attempt to summarize: historians can’t possibly know how historical queer people felt about themselves, if they were influenced by societal or internalized homophobia (itself quite different from modern homophobia), how much of the dominant social narrative they accepted, the reasons for the choices that they made, if they saw their queer preferences as a sin or as a valid lifestyle, and so on. But it seems unlikely that historical queer people specifically in loving long-term relationships, such as Joe and Nicky, would be unduly tied to much of that, and that has always been the case.

[fieryanmitsu]

The Heart-Pounding Sunrise Trek of Bonding | A3! | “Take the Stage” Fanzine

I am very honoured to announce that I am one of the contributors for the recently released A3! Take the Stage Fanzine! It was such a great experience working with so many talented artists and writers! Everyone's pieces turned out AMAZING, and I would highly recommend to check out the full zine! The fanzine can be downloaded for free here!

And, now that the zine has dropped, I'm able to share my piece with you all here! This story is based on the "Campfire Bonds" event and stars Muku and Citron as the focal characters!

Please enjoy~!

THE HEART-POUNDING SUNRISE TREK OF BONDING

THEME: “Campfire Bonds” event

CHARACTERS: Muku Sakisaka, Citron, Sakuya Sakuma, Masumi Usui, Tsuzuru Minagi, Itaru Chigasaki, Tenma Sumeragi, Yuki Rurikawa, Misumi Ikaruga, Kazunari Miyoshi & Izumi Tachibana

My fanfic masterpost: Here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu

Muku stared intensely at his phone as he checked for the umpteenth time that he had set his alarm properly. Seeing that the numbers really did read ‘3:00am’, he locked his phone and placed it beside his pillow. 

“Ugh. I swear I can still taste the tabasco in my mouth even though I brushed my teeth,” Tenma groaned as he entered the tent.

“Did anyone get a normal chocolate for the s’mores?” asked Kazunari, looking up from his phone. 

“Izumi liked hers!” Misumi chimed in.

“That’s just because she’s a crazy Currian! No one would normally like a curry-flavoured chocolate,” Yuki snapped back.

“Anyway, everyone’s here, right? I’m gonna turn off the lights,” Tenma announced. “We have to get up early tomorrow, so we should sleep now.”

A flurry of mumbled goodnights flew around the tent as their leader turned off the lamp. Before long, the air was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and light snoring. 

However, sleep continued to elude Muku as he stared fretfully at the ceiling of the tent—his brain whirring with his anxieties. Though the Summer Troupe’s first two plays had gone well, deep down, Muku felt that he had barely squeaked by with his performances. He knew that he was still the weakest link, and was terrified of dragging everyone else down. 

Just once, Muku wished he could give back to the ones who continually helped him so much. But, he didn’t even have any special skills—like Yuki or Kazunari—that he could put to use for the Summer Troupe or the Mankai Company. 

So, when Izumi had first announced this training camp, Muku had immediately volunteered to be one of the organizers, even though he had never taken on such a role before. At the time, it had seemed like the perfect opportunity to prove himself and be helpful to the others. Surely, even someone as untalented as him could manage to do this much.

Inspired by a scene out of a shoujo manga, Muku had manically researched to formulate a grand plan. First, they would strengthen their bonds as they hiked side-by-side through bountiful nature. Then, they would share a heart-racing special moment together as the rising sun etched its image into their memories. Plus, with the fresh mountain air, he was sure they would get more mileage out of their vocal exercises. 

However, when they had gathered to discuss the itinerary, his excitement had quickly been extinguished when his plan had been met with unenthusiastic faces. Some of the Company members hadn’t seemed interested in witnessing the sunrise, and many others had groaned about the early start time. 

After the meeting, Citron had clapped him on the shoulders, looked him in the eyes with a mysterious, all-knowing smile and said: “Do not worry, Muku! Your idea is most wonderful! Everyone will be super duper happy when they see the sun grating them! I will make sure of it—trust me!”

Though his brain continued to worry and fret, Muku clung to the words and reassuring grin that the Zahran man had given him that day and allowed the darkness to finally lull him to sleep…

The next morning, with much struggle—along with Citron banging some pots and pans together—the two organizers managed to wake up their fellow troupe members and line them up outside of their tents. Though, they may as well have still been laying in their sleeping bags. Masumi was draped on top of Tsuzuru’s back, fast asleep. Itaru was crouched on the ground, muttering to himself with a half-dead expression on his face. Even the ever-chipper Kazunari had his chin propped on Misumi’s shoulder, both of them nodding off despite being on their feet.

Citron came to stand beside Muku and nudged him gently. With a gulp, the pink-haired boy mustered all of his courage and stood up as straight and tall as he could manage.

“G-Good morning, everyone! Thanks for waking up so early to join us for the first item on our itinerary today: the ‘Heart-Pounding Sunrise Trek of Bonding!’” Muku announced. “I know that it’s silly to want to follow someone who’s more annoying than the itchiest bite from a mosquito that arrived earlier than the usual mosquito season—”

“Muku, literally no one said that,” Yuki interrupted with a sigh. “Just lead the way.”

“O-Oh right! S-Sorry!” Muku responded, snapping out of his rant. “P-please follow me and watch your step!”

As Muku led the way to the forest trail, with the others shuffling groggily behind him, he couldn’t help but cringe as he heard someone yawn loudly and another person let out a groan.

“Ugh, this sucks…” 

“Masumi, stop it! The Director wouldn’t be happy to hear you say that,” Sakuya protested in a hushed tone. “Look! She’s enjoying herself, so you should copy her.”

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all… Muku thought to himself, worrying at his bottom lip.

“Muku, why don’t you tell everyone about the path?” Citron suddenly said from behind him. “Did you not do lots of the research?”

“Really, Mukkun?” Kazunari asked, perking up and looking more awake than earlier. 

“O-Oh, yes! Apparently, this path dates back to the Sengoku era. Monks used it as part of a pilgrimage route and this campsite actually used to be an aesthetic training ground,” Muku explained.

“That’s actually really cool,” Tsuzuru remarked. “Who knew that there was so much history in a place like this!”

“Ah! That signpost there marks the quarter-way point! We can take a quick rest here!” Muku explained, noticing that they had lost a few members. 

“I-I can’t go on…” Itaru wheezed as he finally caught up to the others several minutes later.

“C’mon Itaru, we’re almost there! You can do it!” Izumi chirped encouragingly, passing the salaryman a bottle of water.

“It’s okay, Itaru! You will soon have your senses delighted by a surprise up ahead! Tell them about it, Muku,” Citron implored.

“Y-Yes! Ummm… Just down this path is a beautiful waterfall that the monks used as part of their training,” Muku responded, taking the older man’s cue. “I… I actually purposely picked this path because it would take us by the waterfall. Legend says that, if you make a wish there, your deepest desires will come true! So, I thought that you would really like to see that, Itaru! Maybe it’ll help with your next gacha pull in your games!!”

“Seriously? Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.”

Muku felt his heart flutter as the others started chattering excitedly about what wishes they would make. With this renewed vigour, their group continued on their hike, making a stop at the wish-granting waterfall on the way. 

Then, almost an hour after they had left their campsite, Muku spotted the sign marking their final destination.

“We’re here, everyone!”

There was a collective sigh of relief as the members of the Mankai Company cleared the last steps and planted their feet on the plateau. However, their mutters quickly died in their throats as they came face-to-face with the view before them. A forest of trees spread out endlessly ahead, surrounded on both sides by jagged cliffs. The sun peeked above the horizon of the valley and the sky was dyed a gorgeous blend of soft oranges, pinks and straggling blues.

“Amazing!” Sakuya breathed softly. “This is beautiful, Muku!”

“Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe it!!” Kazunari added, immediately taking out his phone.

“You did good, Muku. Here’s a triangle!” Misumi said with a smile, handing the pink-haired boy a smooth and shiny triangular-shaped rock.

“Yeah… It made waking up worth it,” Masumi murmured, showing a rare smile.

“This was great, Muku. Thanks for planning this for us,” Tenma said, punching him lightly in the arm.

“Yeah, seriously! I’m so glad that someone was able to plan a normal activity for this training camp. Unlike a certain someone’s crazy ‘Russian Roulette S’mores’ idea,” Tsuzuru said with a sigh, throwing a baleful glare at Citron.

“Oh, Tsuzuru! You wound me! I put so much thought into making an unforgiveable event for everyone!”

“I think you mean ‘unforgettable’,” Itaru piped in.

“Look here, it’s not ‘Russian Roulette’ if all of the options are weird!” Tsuzuru exclaimed in exasperation.

“No kidding! I can’t believe I had to eat that awful wasabi chocolate because of you! I thought my mouth was on fire!” Yuki added, jabbing a finger into Citron’s chest angrily. “You’re lucky this sunrise made up for that atrocious game!”

As Citron dramatically crumpled to the ground from Yuki’s attack, a hand clutched over his heart, he turned his head towards Muku and shot him a wink.

At that moment, Muku felt a rush of warmth surge out of his chest and envelope the rest of his body. As he suppressed the tears prickling behind his eyes, Muku thought that he could now truly understand the meaning behind all of those times his shojo manga had compared someone’s smile to the brightness of the sun.

Writing this story was such a fun challenge for me! I had to work with a word count restriction, but I also wanted to make sure I somehow included every other character from the event — so it was definitely a juggling act, haha! It was also my first time writing about both Muku and Citron, so that was a new challenge in itself. Especially since I wanted to make sure I did two of my favourite characters justice!! In the end, I'm really happy I had the opportunity to write this and am so thankful that I was able to be part of this zine! Again, do check out the full zine if you have a chance!|

As always, thank you for reading and feel free to leave a comment if you have any thoughts!! Any reblogs are always appreciated!!

-Anmitsu

[adafriend]

I'm trying to make my own long furby and after hunting for days I found a furby to transform but it is an electronic one and I'm wondering would that be too hard?

as the owner of two furbies with electrical/mechanical parts: yes. it’s hard as shit, and i wouldn’t really recommend it. BUT your mileage may vary depending on the help you have available, and there are alternate options!

tl;dr under the cut because i literally cannot make myself shut up unless someone gives me a strict word count and i’m so sorry

(EDIT: currently adding to my “furby reference” tag with posts from my drafts, there are some really helpful posts there!! there are so many helpful people in the community, it’s great)

i’ve had gerard (1998 furby) since october and percival (2005 furby) since march, and i haven’t successfully fully disassembled either of them, despite very very very much effort. (i’m not big on electronic toys, despite my love for furbs, but i have over half a decade of experience in making stuffed animals, so i thought i could just… skin my sons, find a way to attach their faces and beaks to their skins, and replace their mechanics with tailor-made bags of fluff.)

gerard and other 98s are theoretically easy to take apart, but some of the screws holding him together just didn’t budge - i tried melting the plastic with acetone, but i’m going to have to use a dremel instead. you can’t really count on being able to just unscrew screws - they’re old toys, and things can go wacky in 20 years of existing. other people have successfully done this, though! i’ll find some “plushified” furbies later and add the links here.

you technically could just extend a 98′s body like you would a furby buddy, but that’d be heavy as fuck and make posing super difficult. (a furry youtuber and the tumblr person who made the quadruped furby with wooden arms both used that method, but i wouldn’t recommend it. toys are for playing, and top-heaviness is not good for play :/ or display, even.)

percival the 05 came apart decently well, but, since he’s a 2005, taking him apart removed any possibility of him functioning again - and i still need to do some careful dremeling to get his face parts fully removed. and his gotdam feet! they’re super cute, but they were AWFUL to remove, and i have no fucking clue how i’m going to attach them to plushified percival. genuinely would not recommend fucking with an 05, unless you have friends with power tools and engineering expertise.

(booms/2012s aren’t my area of experience - i have one, but i haven’t picked him up from my friend yet. but from what i’ve heard from other furby people, they’re even more complicated than 05s, so i would recommend not even considering it, haha.)

my main priority when giving advice isn’t “is this doable?” but “is this likely to be fun and have good results?”. i tend to get over my head with overly ambitious projects, and i know how discouraging that can be. i don’t want to make recommendations that end up with someone having a half-finished project in the trash and soured feelings about furbies!

so, in conclusion: i wouldn’t really recommend using an electronic furby as the base for a longifying project, unless you have an above-average amount of experience with dremels or a father figure with dremel experience who’s down to help you out (and proper protective gear and ventilation!). they’re good bases for other types of modification projects (i’ve seen people carve/sculpt their faces, add feet/wings/horns/halos, and dye and paint them), but they aren’t good at Being Long.

plush furby sourcing suggestions: furby buddies are pretty common on ebay. if you have a parental figure who can help out (never meet people from the internet by yourself!), mcdonalds furbies [which are like furby buddies but smaller and with shittier fabric, but their faceplates are easier to remove than buddies] are fairly common on facebook marketplace. kijiji and craigslist might turn some stuff up, too.

lmk if any of this was unclear, or if pictures would help! i have the weekend off and am fairly likely to be working on Furby Stuff.

[nyx-b-log]

Am I Trans Enough? by Alo Johnston

thanks to netgalley for the arc!

read: oct 2022

rating: 4*

summary:

see title ;) more seriously, a self-help text written by a therapist for people who are experiencing doubt in and of their transness.

opinion:

this is a really affirming read! or at least it was to me.

to some extent i think this is the kind of book which each reader will get varying mileage out of depending on what they relate to and what they need. cishet people might struggle (but i still believe it could be useful for them! you never know what gender is lurking, plus allyship!), but people who have a more complex relationship with gender will (i believe) find parts that they relate to, if not the whole thing.

the book itself covers a variety of potential trans and nonbinary experiences and historical context, and tho i bounced off the first half (with the exception of the exploration of the strange feeling of trying new pronouns which made me feel a lot better about a fear i'd been diminishing) the second half felt much more practiceable. towards the end there's three separate chapters, one each on being a trans man, woman, and nonbinary.

(the author also acknowledges that this doesn't and can't cover all potential identities and experiences. how you feel about that is up to you.)

and, of course, the gist of the book is that yes, yes you are trans enough.

the chapters themselves are very short, a couple of pages each, and any longer ones are broken up with sub-sections, so it's very easy to read. plus, if anything comes up that you really need to sit and think about for a while - and like me, you have a base need to finish chapters before putting the book down - you can!

but, bear in mind, i don’t technically identify myself as trans (though i use multiple pronouns), so this was more of an interesting reading exercise, with a few hopes that maybe some of those minor niggling doubts were more universal than i'd initially thought. (surprising literally no one, they were).

however, as a person relatively newly playing with gender, i did feel very affirmed and reassured by both the writing style and the content.

it's also, for anyone concerned, open and accepting of detransition as an option, and supports more fluid experiences of gender. (low bar, i know, but appreciated.)

my only critiques with it are that it seems to try and cover too much at once, and ends up covering a lot of stuff in a very light way. this, coupled with the lack of activities makes it feel like a sort of superficial book. to put it another way, i feel like my knowledge around trans doubt has changed, but i'm not entirely sure how to approach feeling different around my own doubt.

not unhelpful tho! and the long list of resources and notes in the back are greatly appreciated!

but still, i think i was hoping for a bit more depth.

on the whole, i enjoyed this book and found it useful! would recommend to anyone early in their gender journey, or perhaps looking for a little insight into other gender identities.