#and yes due to various reason i am actually half vampire

[wolfieamelia]

you've seen me rbing shamimomo, you've seen me talking about shamiko... this is going to be another mahiro effect to me isn't it

[burnedbyshoto]

Usagi and Hito

Kinktober Day 31 ~ kink: seduction

pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader

warning: cussing, smut

word count: 5,544

a/n: so this is a prequel to Attraction, you don’t have to read attraction to read this!!!! just know that reader and shouto are bitter rivals. sorry its... 8 days late BAHAHAHA. shit forgot to mention usagi means bunny and hito is short for hitokuchi which means bite (NO ITS NOT HITO AS IN MAN ALTHOUGH IT IS HILARIOUS IT WAS NOT INTENTIONAL)

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

There were too many fucking people in this house.

Shouto’s eyes scanned over the crowds of people that were all dressed up in various costumes and disguises. He shifted as a girl in a “sexy” Danny Devito costume fell into his chest, her delirious and drunken giggles were like nails on a chalkboard to him.

“Whoops, sorry there sexy dark vampire,” she purred as her fingers trailed down his torso.

Yes, Todoroki Shouto showed up to a college costume party wearing a vampire costume. Not being one that interested in college parties, or buying a costume to wear only once, he had a very interesting costume designed. He wore a long-sleeved white dress shirt, the first few buttons were undone teasing his toned chest for wandering eyes. The shirt was tucked into black slacks, the material fitted and tight, as this was his typical formal outfit. He even sported a black cape that Tokoyami happened to have in the back of his closet as well.

Due to the nature of the party, and the fact that Kaminari and Kirishima refused to let him leave the house just like… well… that, his make up was done too. Fake fangs were pressed to his canines, using some of Kirishima’s red hair dye, they had made the white half of his hair red. It was slicked back except for a few locks that fell into his vision. Mina had come over to cover his scar, she had also added a sullen and tired look to his eyebags, contouring his cheeks for the heightened vampire look. They had even given him black colored contacts to make him that much more mysterious. More secretive. Fake blood dripped on the sides of his mouth, and there were puncture wounds on his neck.

All in all, his last-second costume that was arranged from what was in their apartment went rather smoothly. If anything was a testament to that claim was the fact that there was always some new girl grabbing him during every passing song.

Shouto, who was forced to attend this college party on the promise that his friends would drop their teasing about his terribly hidden feelings for y/n, was ready to leave. With a firm grasp, Shouto pushed the girl off of him as he yelled at Midoriya that he was getting a drink.

Pushing his way through the thicket of people, Shouto found himself finally in the kitchen. His eyes looked over the bowls filled with jungle juice, straight up soju, or bottles of other types of alcohol. Was there no goddamn water at this party?

Sliding his fingers against his gelled back hair, Shouto sighed as he made eye contact with a girl dressed in a plain oversized white shirt that read “costume.”

Her face turned red as she was caught staring and her eyes turned back onto the bowls of drinks.

“I like your costume,” Shouto tells her, hoping that maybe he could be lucky and not have to be around weirdos this entire night. Honestly, why was Halloween such a transformative night? Why did people have to take on a whole other alter ego?

“Oh, uh, thanks?” She squeaks looking down at her costume. “Can I get you anything to drink? I’m sort of the bartender here.”

“I’m not sure if serving cups counts as bartending…” Shouto admits as he looks at the ladle in her hand. “I’m okay, I was wanting water.”

“Oh!” The girl waves her hands as she laughs. Shouto watches her curiously as she places the ladle down and motions for him to follow her. “I’ll show you where they are so that you don’t have to ask.”

Grateful to get some water in his body, Shouto followed after her.

She walked into a closet and Shouto raised an eyebrow as he followed in after her. He didn’t really need to know where it was, he would be fine after a single water bottle.

The closet door closed heavily behind him, and Shouto’s eyes widened as her body was suddenly pressed against his. Her mouth immediately over his own as she kissed him. Her lips were drenched with the taste of alcohol. Reacting immediately, Shouto pushed the girl off of him, “What the hell was that?!”

“I know you’re Todoroki Shouto, right?” Her mouth whined, and Shouto groaned as he rolled his eyes.

Of course, just another girl interested in his family name, in his physical appearance.

“No. I’m not.”

“I saw you walking in with Midoriya-kun you are, but you don’t know who I am…”

“I’m not Todoroki.” Shouto insists. He wants to get out of this fucking closet, but the closet is too tight for him to move without him hurting her.

“You’re so obsessed about that one girl, y/l/n… do you even know that I have had almost every class with the two of you, and yet… you have only ever focused on her?! The two of you hate each other too!”

“Please let me go.”

“Promise you’ll talk to me in class then! Stop arguing with y/l/n and pay attention to me!”

“I don’t know who you are.”

Shouto manages to get his hand onto the doorknob and he stumbles out of the closet. The girl stumbling after Shouto as he walked away.

That was it, Shouto was done.

He was going back to the dorm.

Shouto stormed pass Ice Princesses, devils, sexy cowgirls, and Sailor Moons.

This “holiday” was a fucking joke, and he was never wrong for hating it.

Shouto’s eyes scanned the crowds of people for Midoriya’s green hair, for Kirishima’s red hair, for the blond hair of Kaminar i— anyone he knew! He couldn’t find them. Taking one last sweep of the faces in the crowd, Shouto’s eyes flickered over a girl by the opposite wall.

Long white hair that fell to the small of her back, y/e/c eyes staring at him through a lacey mask that covered her eyes. Dark red lips paired the brightest smile Shouto had seen this entire night, her makeup looked done. His eyes swept up to see black bunny ears in her hair. Looking down and even though there were crowds of people, he noticed the iconic black playboy bunny outfit. It hugged her body, accentuating the curves of her waist, pressing against her breasts in a way that was only suitable during Halloween. Fishnet tights lined the curves of her legs, and high heels on her feet.

Shouto blinked as he watched her head tilt and quickly realized that he had been caught staring.

He, however, did not panic as he blinked again. There was a red cup in her hand, and Shouto watched as she handed it to a friend of hers as she began weaving through the crowd. Now, Shouto wanted to leave, he really did, but for some reason, he felt trapped where he stood as she drew nearer and nearer.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

You had been enjoying this party so far. Despite the large crowd that came to what was supposed to be a small party, you and some of your other friends (who were surprisingly not your roommates) had found solace in a corner. Each of you had been waiting for the perfect guy to come around, and well, it was your turn. Most guys who approached you throughout the night were not people you wanted to ever try to get at. So you decided to play a little game.

Chicken.

You’d approach the first guy you caught staring at you who didn’t look away.

This redhead was the first to not look away the entire night. Most guys did return their gazes after the fact of being caught, but not this guy. So with a small “wish me luck!” you handed your untouched drink and walked over to this mystery man.

The sounds of hundreds of people talking, on top of the blaring music, by the time you approached this stranger you found yourself raising your voice to speak to him.

“I like your costume.” You said as you stepped close enough to him that your body ghosted against his own. “Where’d you get it?”

“My closet.”

Your eyes looked up at him, with a grin you nodded. “Yeah, I had this in my closet as well, ya know? Trying to not spend too much money.”

Your grin only widened as you watched the man roll his eyes as he too grinned. It was a good fucking look on him as your heart hammered the smallest of bits faster.

“Well, I have to admit it looks good.”

“Damn right you do!” You giggle as you press your hand against his chest. “Now, I don’t think I’ve met you before. Do I get a name?”

“You approached me, bunny,” He smirks at you, and your tongue swipes at your painted lips. “I think you owe me your name first.”

“I only approached you because you were giving me the bedroom eyes.” You tease as your finger pokes against his exposed chest. You stared at his face, there was something oddly familiar about him, but you couldn’t put your finger on it given the terrible lighting.

“Well, I guess you don’t get my name.” He raises an eyebrow.

“Too bad,” you pout, but it’s broken by the grin that overcomes your features again. Leaning in closely, you chuckle as you see him bending in closer so that your lips brush against his ear as you whisper. “I really wanted to have something to moan when I get you in bed tonight.”

You giggle as you watch him stiffen and you pull away. Your eyes glisten in your increasing joy at the fact that his eyes are swimming with emotions that looks like he wouldn’t deny you.

“You’re a bit cocky.” He tells you, and you shrug as your arms wrap around his neck. Your teeth tug at your bottom lip as you feel his arms wrap around your waist.

“You’re a bit into it.”

He laughs and you can feel his body moving against your own, it’s a pleasant sound to your ears, a sound you want to hear more. God, maybe if you actually got him to fuck you tonight your friends would leave you alone about their theory about you and Shouto needing to fuck for you to be less stressed.

“I actually was on my way out.” He informs you as your hips slowly begin dancing in time with the bass of the song. You feel his hands grip around your hips, his hands repositioning where you were and thus increased the friction.

“Is that so? Is there anything I can do to make you stay?” You wonder aloud, your face centimeters from his own.

“Well, there is one thing.” He mumbles into your ear, his hot breaths raising the skin where it hits.

“Mhm?” You whisper, your heart hammering.

“I really want water.”

You don’t know whether to laugh or scream, but the soft laughter that hits your ears causes you to smile.

“You’re an idiot.” You sigh as you pull away from him, “Come on! The water is outside. Have you never been to Nejire’s parties before? She thinks that having water in the house kills the party mood!”

Your hand was in his as you pull him outside.

“You’re not taking me into the closet in the kitchen are you?”

You look at him strangely, but only shake your head as you continue walking and sure enough, the water was out there.

You watched in the chill of the night as the man drank the water, your eyes training on his jaw and how it moved with every chug. The costume you had was hot but definitely not practical as your body trembled in coldness.

“You cold?” The man asks you, and you giggle shaking your head.

Being outside you could hear the low timbre of his voice, something that sounded so familiar but you couldn’t place your finger on it. Then again, you didn’t know anyone who was a complete redhead except for Kirishima!

“A true hoe never gets cold.” You say without thinking.

His quirked eyebrow sent you into a series of laughter as you tried waving off what you said.

“And here I thought what we had was special.” He sighs as he hands you his almost empty water bottle. “Want some water?”

“I can be a hoe and a prude,” You retort as you take the water bottle, you take a sip before returning it with a grateful smile. “Besides, Dracula, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be this eternal being who kidnaps virgins who don’t even get demon dick. Just their necks punctured.”

“Wow, that was prejudiced. Just because I’m a vampire doesn’t mean I’m Dracula.” He teases.

“Well, you’re no Edward Cullen.”

“Are those the only two vampires you know?”

“...maybe it is.”

“That was one more than me.”

You shake your head as you giggle, “Fine, I apologize, sir.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you ready to go back inside?” You ask tilting your head back towards the party. “You owe me a dance.”

“I don’t remember ever agreeing to give you a dance.”

“I brought you to the water!”

“Fine.”

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Shouto’s never once thought in his life he would be in this situation.

Yuuei was not a party school, but it was still a university. Parties happened, but in his now third year enrolled in Yuuei, Shouto found himself at the biggest party ever thrown in campus history. But now there was a girl he didn’t know grinding into him as the music of the party drummed in his chest.

Her hands traveled up and down his chest, trailing against his exposed skin. Her hips made soft and wide movements against his crotch. It made no sense to Shouto, she should be off of the beat with how languid she was moving, but somehow — someway — she was in sync with the music and it was making his skin crawl in the best of ways.

Shouto stills against her dancing body as he feels her fingers graze his cheeks.

Eyes wide, he watches as with the pounding music she pulls him down.

He can’t hear her.

Not even a sound.

But he can read her lips clearly.

“Can I kiss you?” She mouths, and Shouto isn’t sure what’s louder right now.

His heart or the music.

But Todoroki Shouto was not a second-place type of man, he wasn’t one to let another choose for him. He pressed forward, his lips connecting with hers.

There was something insatiable about kissing her.

Her soft lips moving in tangent with his.

Her body pressing even closer to his as her arms wrapped around his neck.

Tilting heads, gasping breaths, dancing tongues.

Shouto’s fingers dug into her hips, her soft moan vibrating into his mouth.

Her body was soft, her taste was addicting, and she was making his head spin.

Fueled by lust and a raging need to get laid, Shouto found his hands lowering down further down her ass as she ground her crotch into his own.

But as quickly as he kissed her, she was off him.

Her eyes fluttering open, there was a confident and almost sadistic smirk on his face. Her fingers sat on his chest as she kept him at an arm's distance. As Shouto felt himself moving forward towards her, she was already three steps ahead.

Shouto stared at her as she slipped through the crowd, her head turning back around as she beckoned him with her eyes.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

You watched over your shoulder as the mystery man followed you through the thickets of people. Planning well in advance, you slipped through people the man would need to push through. His body demanding, his eyes never leaving yours.

In the kitchen you paused by the sink, it was empty except for a girl who was passed out drunk by the sink. Your eyes fall lazily onto the man as he barges in, his pupils blown as he looks at you. You tilt your head to the side, your arms stretching onto the countertop as he walks over to you.

His steps are long and quick and he has you trapped between his body and the counter. Your head tilts to the side as his lips press against your neck.

His kisses are hot, overwhelming, and dizzying.

His plump lips are sinful against your flush skin. The fake fangs on his teeth only adding to the stimulation he gives you.

But this isn’t it.

You want to drive him crazy even more.

Your hand travels to his pants, palming him softly as you moan at the sensation of his mouth on you.

He’s sensitive and jumps at your touch, and in the two seconds he takes to recover, you’re already on the move.

You don’t walk that fast, but you manage to leave the kitchen before him. The party seems to move in slow motion as you move your way through crowds of people. Twirling around at points when the bass of the song pounds in your blood. Your eyes fall back behind you, and the red-head is still following you.

Climbing the stairs, your hands trail against the banister.

His hand touches yours, and suddenly you’re hyperaware of the fact that his three steps below you.

You don’t quicken your pace, however, choosing instead to stop and turn. Your face is level with his, his eyes concentrated on your lips.

“You planning on fucking me right now, vampire?” You drawl, your fingers pushing against his gelled hair.

“I might be… do I get to know your name?” He murmurs, his lips teasing against yours.

“I think I like you better without a name.” You sigh as your hands rest against the back of his neck.

“Really?”

You don’t answer him, choosing to instead kiss him passionately. Your lips give your answer as you take a step up the stairs backward. Your hand clenches the rail, and his right hand gives you balance as you two climb the stairs like that.

“It’s Halloween,” You whisper as you steer him towards the bedroom. “You can be anything you want to be that isn’t yourself, and you want us to be ourselves?”

Your back slams against the door as he has you pinned to the door. Your lips are denied his as his mouth trails down your neck,

“Call me, Usagi.” You purr as his tongue pressed against your neck.

“Cute,” He mumbled into your skin. Your eyes flutter as your hand grasps the doorknob finally, his dark eyes locking on yours. “Call me, Hito.”

The two of you pushed through the door and it slammed closed behind you. His lips are back over yours, and your hands immediately shoot towards the knot keeping his cape into place.

Hito groans softly as his fingers trace the corset lining to your costume. His hands are hot, the heat bleeding through the fabric as you feel your knees hit the mattress.

His lips are passionate against yours, your jaw drops and your mind spins from the intensity pouring into the kiss. Your gasps seem to stir him on as his hands grasp your ass without fear, your body melting into his grasp as he lifted you up. Your breathing is shaking, your feelings and nerves overload as you put in the same amount of intensive passion into the kiss.

“Fuck.” He mutters as your hands manage to undo his shirt. Your whines escape your mouth as you feel his rippling muscles underneath your fingers. His hands trail down your fishnets, the sensation of his hot fingers against the tights sent shivers down your spine as your hips grind against his. His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, begging for entrance. When you manage to once again roll your body against his increasing bulge, your mouth opens up as you let him in.

Tongues crash in the middle, they move together in a clumsy yet passionate dance. Neither one of you entirely placing dominance on the other. Moans escape your mouth as he presses your back against the mattress. Your fingers clenching into his hair, his hips grinding more intently into your heating core. Synchronized groans are exchanged in this maddening exchange, his body very receptive to the hair-pulling.

His hands trail down onto the swell of your breasts, they squeeze firmly around the flesh, and you arch into his hands. His tongue furthers into your mouth in your brief distraction, and he trails his tongue everywhere in your mouth. Your increasingly satisfied moans make him chuckle. You watch with heavy lids as he pulls away, his face deliriously close to your own as you pant.

From this distance, you can see that he’s wearing contacts, but the thought disappears as his mouth attaches onto your neck. The fake fangs press softly against your skin making you cry out. It’s the weirdest sensation, but it makes your hips buck up against his. Your body wanting more friction.

The fangs continue tracing against your skin, your vocal praises only seeming to stir him on. You wanted more though, you needed more.

“Oh shit!” You gasp as you feel the costume loosen around you, and you watch as he pulls the black fabric off of you. The cold air hits your body, and you feel on edge as his eyes rack your body.

You still have the bunny ears on, the cuffs on your wrists, the tights on your legs, and the black lacy undergarments you wore with the costume. Yet you feel as if you were bare by the way he looks at you. Huffing you push the white wig from your shoulders as you sit up, “Don’t just watch me!” You snap as you remove his shirt, and quickly unbuckle his pants.

“You’re a little bit desperate for someone who was giving me a hard time in the beginning.” Hito chuckles as he helps you remove his clothes.

Your nostrils flare as you don’t try to deny this fact, but as he now remains in just his boxers, your breathing nearly stops.

You really got fucking lucky…

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He teases you, and he captures your lips with his own again.

You gasp sharply at the feeling of his toned body pressing against your flush skin. Your hands sliding down his muscular back as were intoxicated with the way his body felt.

“I don’t need a picture of something that I can memorize.” You shudder as his fingers graze the pool of heat in your panties.

“You’re a bit of a brat, Usagi.”

“You’re the one not fucking me, Hito.”

You watch as he hums. His fingers trailing over the curves of your breast and into the valley between them. “So you just want my dick in you? Nothing else?” He asks you, his hands on your panties applying a greater pressure against your pooling heat.

“I can go get someone else.” You tease as your hips pathetically grind into his fingers. He watches as you shift to remove your bra, your breasts spilling free as you stare up at him. He chuckles as he pulls your tights off, and pushes the fabric of your panties to the side, his finger teasing your building heat.

“Such decisive words from a girl who looks ready to fuck herself with my fingers.” He mutters as he sinks two fingers into your unsuspecting heat.

The helpless and needy scream that pours from your mouth makes him laugh.

“Tell me, Usagi.” He says as his fingers slowly pump within you.

Slowly.

Teasingly.

“Do you want my dick in you?”

Your harsh pants keep you from speaking as Hito increases his speed. His fingers curling within your walls stretching you out in a mind-blowing way. He doesn’t seem to care that you’re vastly affected by his intruding fingers, your body violently trembling with his curled appendages.

“Yes, fuck, fuck, fuck, yes, oh my god Hito!” You shriek as your hips slam against his fingers with every crashing movement.

“Look at you, you don’t even need my cock in you!” He muses as his teeth come to bite against your exposed nipples. The neverending noises of approval expelling from your mouth silences at the new sensation. Your fingers gripping onto his hair in silent approval. “And you were going to try and find someone else.”

“P-Please fuck me!” You cry as you try squirming away from his fingers. Your hands desperately stretching out to remove his tented underwear. You watch gratefully as he slips it off, and his cock springs out.

A satisfied and slightly horrified moan escapes your mouth at the sight of him. His fingers removing from your sopping wet cunt as he licks you clean from his fingers. “Maybe I’ll have some dessert later,” He mumbles as he slowly fists himself. “Now lay back and legs out, Usagi.”

He accentuates every word, and you feel yourself heeding his command. Your hands quickly get rid of your panties as you watch him draw near your spread legs. The tip of his hard cock teasing your entrance.

“Fuck me, Hito.” You snap as he continues to only coat his cock with your juices.

He looks up at you, a smirk on his face as he shrugs.

“Okay.”

A shriek crashes through your mouth as he pushes his cock completely into your awaiting cunt without mercy. His girth stretching you out in an unimaginable way. Stretching you out in ways you were not prepared for. Your walls rippling as they attempt to relax and grow used to his size. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re so fucking big!” You cry as your body trembles as Hito leans forward.

His own head is buried within your neck, his breathing trying to reign back in.

“What never had a big dick before.” Hito cockily rasps, but his words feel powerless as he is obviously affected by the tightness of you around him. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight.”

You mewl as the painful throb in your pussy lulls and you writhe your hips against him, “N-Now fuck me right. Don’t fucking make me regret not looking for another guy.” You command as his eyes lock on yours.

There’s something strangely familiar between the two of you, it’s unsaid and you can’t place your finger onto it. But it makes this weirdly comforting.

Hito smirks, small and knowing, and rightfully so as he adheres to your demand. His hips position to a better angle and you can only watch behind clenched eyes as he begins slamming into you. Your hips move in time with his. Both of you desperate under your nearing orgasms and this heightened state of pleasure brought by the mystery of this all. Hito’s hands grip your waist. His grip will for sure leave bruised marks as he slams your body faster against his. He’s stretching you out with every move, and by god does he know how to use his cock. His hands shift as they drag out under your ass, clenching your supple flesh as this difference stretches you out in unimaginable ways.

His hips crashing into yours is uplifting, and your cries only fuel him on.

Your body feels as if it is turning into jelly as he shifts your two legs over his shoulders. His cock bottoming out into you making your back arch off the mattress as you wail out his name. Hito’s heated fingers press against your throbbing clit. You suppress a wail as he rubs harsh and delicate figure-eights onto your puffy nerve. Your pussy is clamping down on his hammering cock, not at all slowing him down, and yet he still grunts and increases his speed and strength.

Your noises of pleasure silences as his cock hits the back of your walls, your legs thrashing around as he drilled into you the same way.

Over and over.

Again and again.

Harder and harder.

His cock smashing against your walls until he tilts his angle and crashes down hard against your g-spot.

“HITO!!!” You scream as he continues pounding into your g-spot. His alias a prayer on your lips as he continues fucking your brains out.

You shoot up off the mattress, your screams muffled through a kiss as you wrap your arms around him. Even though your legs were on his shoulder, you held on. The angle allowing Hito to drive his cock against your g-spot over and over again. Your body bouncing with every single slam. His body is giving you exploding sensations, your tightness making Hito moan and curse.

“I needa – fuuuuck, baby do that again – I needa come!” You squeak as your body rocks against his own.

“Come for me, Usagi.” Hito sighs into your mouth. “Come around my cock.”

The built-up pleasure in your belly is profuse, it’s built up so fast, and your toes curl in electrifying pleasure. You can’t handle it anymore, the pleasure being too much.

Your orgasm slams through you, your vision nearly turning white as your jaw drops as your screams go silent. Hito’s mouth continues to move against yours, kissing sloppily against your teeth as he chases his own orgasm. His fangs digging into your bottom lip as his jaw slacks.

His hips continue slamming into you. They’re brutal as they slam over and over again. He’s chanting your name as your stimulated cunt continues clenching around his length. His pace is making you grow numb in his arms, although your hips still continue to desperately roll against his. His breathing is heavy and tense. Panting as he struggles to keep himself composed.

“Come inside me…” You whine into his ear, desperate to feel his hot seed within you.

His cock stretches you out in a new way as he presses your back onto the mattress again. The protruding veins on his cock creating insane friction against your walls. Hito fucks you mercilessly, his fingers clenching your ass as you come apart for him. Hito curses loudly as he finally loses himself within you. His hips drilling forward one last time as a heavy load shoots into your throbbing cunt.

Shaky breathing fills the air as he pulls out of you.

You whine at the lack of him within you, and your body relaxes as he falls beside you. You whimper as you feel your combine cum seeping from your clenching pussy.

“You were amazing.” Hito chuckles as he leans down next to you.

“You were too…” You whisper as you look at him.

You don’t remember how the night ended for the two of you, only that you let him fuck you three more times.

Bonus!

“You look like goddamn shit,” Todoroki states as he passes by you on his way to his assigned seat. You watch tiredly as he sits down, and you notice the grey beanie covering his weirdly two-colored hair.

“Great, I was hoping you’d say that.” You smile while taking a chug of the sweet, sweet coffee in your hands. “Unlike you, I had fun last night.”

“Were you scaring kids for money?” He deadpans. “Oh wait, you do that for free and normally, huh?”

You roll your eyes as you simply flip him off.

Your body was way too sore, and your mind was way too tired to handle this verbal war.

“I was up having sex.” You say with a tight smile. “Ya know? Sexual intercourse? In my case where a man and a woman come together to place the penis inside of the vagina? I’m assuming, of course, you’ve only been able to see those pictures from A and P… do you need legit pics?” You taunt.

Todoroki rolls his eyes as he lays out his notebook, “Haha. Besides, I had sex last night too, but I don’t look like shit like you.”

“Don’t worry Todoroki,” You sigh as the professor walks in. “Me looking like shit is a rare occurrence. You looking like shit? That’s an everyday thing, babe.”

Bonus bonus!

“I don’t think I can ever top my costume from last year.” You moan as you snuggle into Shouto’s chest. Your phone in your hands as you look at the never-published photos of your Halloween night. “What’s sexier than a playboy bunny? Literally nothing… OH EM GEE! Shouto, can I be you, but like a sexy female version?!”

Shouto, who had been reading a book, blinked as he looked down at you. “...it’s March… why are you thinking about Halloween costumes?”

“I got a five months ago on this day notification.” You laugh as you show him your costume. “I looked super hot, too bad you couldn’t have banged me that night.” You shift as you feel Shouto freeze underneath you. “You okay?”

“That… that was you?” He asks as he looks at the picture.

“Right?! I was so fucking hot.” You pout as you retract your phone.

“N-No!” Shouto shakes his head as he sits up, thus so do you. “You’re Usagi?!”

Your eyes stare intently into his eyes, and slowly you begin picturing your boyfriend with only red hair, his scar covered, and with dark eyes. “YOU’RE HITO?!”

[soybloodandstakes]

Young Dracula Vampires and Their Eating Habits: an exploration

Throughout Series 1 and 2 we see Vlad and Ingrid eat breakfast before school; obviously there’s also the episode where Renfield packs Vlad a spinach sandwich that has a cockroach in it, and we know that Renfield is partial to eating a bug or two (or many). We could say that as they’re still under 16 and don’t drink blood yet, their dietary needs would be similar to a Breather’s - albeit that their cuisine is unusual by stereotypical western standards (because in quite a few cuisines it’s common to eat insects and the like, also the idea of food being made out of bugs is slowly becoming ever more popular) - and perhaps they don’t need to eat food once they’re vampires (and yes I know I mentioned Renfield but it’s kind of relevant, hold on). However. We do see the Count eat; in the episode where the Branagh’s stay over and Elizabeth cooks him that weird blood pudding thing, and even in the first episode there is mention of him having to eat black pudding at a service station BUT it’s only because he can’t otherwise get blood. When Magda first makes an appearance and the Count falls for her again, they have a dinner prepared for her. Now my question is - do vampires in this universe need to eat? Is it a necessity for survival or just a personal preference? And can they survive only on blood or vice versa?

I think I assume that no, they don’t need blood to survive, because if you look at Vlad and Talitha in Series 5, they’re both vegetarian vampires and so neither drink blood.  And I mean also - there’s a whole BRAND for soy blood. Surely that means that there’s enough of a demand for it to have at least one brand right? However I’ve just realised that I am COMPLETELY FORGETTING !! that the VERY FIRST instance we see of a vegetarian vampire is Ivan! Before his incident with Van Helsing, he speaks of many vampires in America living a blood-free lifestyle, posing it as the only sustainable way forward. From this we can assume definitely that no - vampires in the Young Dracula universe do not need blood to survive and don’t even need to eat meat either. So, what do they need and why do they drink blood?

I think that the answer to the latter question is simply instinct and possibly tradition. There are many instances in which we see Vlad have sudden cravings for blood; ones that he fights down and doesn’t give in to but cravings nonetheless. Ivan is converted back to blood drinking from the smell of Slayer’s blood, again the fact that it is an instinctual need. As for what these vampires need to survive? I don’t know for certain. And we probably never will. The idea of vampires and the lore of the creatures has been changed and shaped to many different stories and renditions; I don’t know many of them but we can logically assume that Young Dracula takes inspiration from at least one or two more sources outside of the book that it is based off of (which takes its inspiration from the novel Dracula which I have yet to read). I can’t remember where I read it, I think it may have been in a My Sister’s a Vampire book hahaha EDIT it wasn’t it was in Carry On, thanks Baz, but there’s one idea that vampires need to eat food like humans do, but they can go for longer stretches of time without it. However, an opposing idea is present in Twilight; in this series vampires cannot eat human food and it actually makes them dreadfully ill. Although, in this example the Cullens don’t drink human blood either and drink animal blood instead, something that we can assume the vampires in YD probably don’t do as there is no suggestion of it anywhere. These two ideas and the evidence in YD are the only things I really have to go on as I haven’t read Dracula or watched anything based off it. Though I have read Carmilla - a vampire novel that predates Dracula - it again suggests the idea that vampires don’t eat and may be repulsed by food.

However, I am inclined to go with the idea that vampires (these ones at least) do actually need to eat to survive, and perhaps that their requirements for survival in terms of needing food are very similar to humans if not almost the same.

For one thing, the Dracula’s seem to keep pretty regular mealtimes. Throughout the entire program, they can often be found to at least be having dinner if not any other meal. In Series 3 in ‘Bad Vlad’, Vlad invites a Breather girl, Becky, up for lunch - though you could argue that this is to be in-keeping with Breather life. On this note, ‘lunch’ is intended to be her, which again does question whether they need food at all, however throughout Series 3 there are a number of things related to food that we can explore. Again with mealtimes, something that is actually used as a point to drive the narrative forward is when they’re all having lunch and Vlad is given the ocelots nose instead of the Count, who claims that he “always get[s] the ocelots nose”. There are also various other mentions of food throughout the later series in particular, so we know that these creatures do eat and perhaps they indeed do it out of necessity to survive, much like we do.

Contradicting this though, is the language that is often used when referring to blood and Breathers, and it is something that I also want to explore – how blood is consumed and what it is considered to be. Food or drink? In Series 3 in ‘The Blood Thief’, when Ingrid invites Bertrand to the blood cellar to taste one of the Count’s vintage bottles, she says “What a great evening – dinner and a show.”. With “dinner” being not even a full glass of blood we could just assume that this is a turn of phrase; with blood also being treated in a similar way to wine (vintage bottles, a dedicated cellar, drunken out of stemmed glasses) it does seem to therefore be considered to be like a drink. Additionally, in Series 5 where Warlock ‘puts in his order’ with Ingrid, he says “mines a _” which echoes that of a drinks preference (like a usual coffee order). However, there is also constant referral to Breathers being a “meal” or “playing with your food” so – perhaps vampires can survive without food, as long as they have a supply of blood. Hence the glass of blood being “dinner” for Ingrid. This seems very plausible, especially with the opening of the blood banks in Series 4 for the ‘strays’ or ‘ferals’. Vlad claims that they would go wild without them, and we do see evidence of that when the blood runs out at one point. These homeless vampires with nowhere else to go would probably not have access to food; most likely being led by their instincts alone, the only source of nutrition they crave is blood. Human when they can but animal when they can’t. It’s with this point that I retract my earlier statement that we see no evidence of vampires drinking animal blood instead of human like in Twilight, as in Vlad’s speech to the ferals he mentions the fact that they are/will be feeding off of stray cats if they do not follow him to Garside, as they cannot hunt because of the ceasefire. With this information, perhaps I am wrong in my assumption that vampires need to eat food. Maybe they can simply survive on blood alone. So, this begs the question – why do the Draculas have meals? Why are, according to Renfield, certain maggots a vampire delicacy?

If we forget for a minute that vegetarian vampires exist and focus on the majority, what exactly are the reasons for the Draculas and other vampires, like those at the Hunt Ball in Series 1, to be eating food? Is it still indeed a necessity thing and vampires like the ferals, though surviving, are perhaps malnourished without food as well as blood? Is it a culture thing, a tradition thing? A class thing? Up until the introduction of the ferals, we are not shown a way of vampire life other than that of the Draculas and their associates. The Draculas are therefore really our only source of information and so that is what I am basing these assumptions on. The mention of it possibly being a class thing is also because, assumedly, the Count is.. well, a Count. Whether his title is with or without the corresponding status is irrelevant though, because we know that the Draculas as a clan are still supposedly renowned as a name and have status in their own right because of that, and so may be expectant of certain things due to having money - like food being a part of their life. Another theory is that maybe, turned vampires don’t need to eat but born ones do? (With the assumption that most of the ferals are Half-Fangs?) It’s a possibility. My personal thoughts are that vampires in this universe can survive only on blood – as possibly evidenced by the ferals – but need some sort of food too if they don’t want to be constantly hungry and/or malnourished. In addition, those of a higher status may be more accustomed to eating food perhaps because of tradition, which is usually found to be kept more in higher status places, or because of culture. The cuisine in question is also definitely very odd by human standards, and so here we come back to one of the opening points. The fact that these vampires seemingly have a pretty vamp-specific cuisine even before being 16 is another indication to the possibility that vampires in this universe eat food for possibly more than just enjoyment, and their dietary requirements are the reasons for this. This being said, Renfield also seems to share a lot of the same food, although he isn’t exactly a regular breather and he is pretty disgusting in his taste (even by a vampire’s standards), so it does still raise the possibility of it just being culture/tradition.

In Series 1 the Dracula’s are found to be eating various gross-looking things, a lot that looks kind of mouldy; at the Hunt Ball, we are shown a vampire eating an eyeball skewer, and bugs seems to be a large part of their general diet as evidenced by the maggots for Magda in Series 1, and also Renfield’s “bug burgers” in Series 5 that George helps him make. In Series 2 we also see a large fox in a sort of pie thing among other mentions of badgers and birds that Renfield serves, which leads to Ivan telling the Count he’s vegetarian. There is far more mention of the food that they eat throughout the show, however we can generally deduct that they seem to eat pretty much anything and everything if it’s an animal that moves, particularly if it is gross by regular human (also western) standards. In Series 5 the Count even mentions how he hasn’t “had a toad in years” when one (weirdly CGI-ed) appears on his balcony. So they eat toads too. Maggots seem to be weirdly popular; Series 3 at the Carpathian Feast shows Renfield ‘teaching’ Wolfie how to eat maggots, these ones considered to be a delicacy of “fine dining” having been “fed on a diet of elephant dung”. Gross. These vampires’ diet seems to be quite broad; however, the existence of vegetarian vampires also proves that they don’t need to eat these things to survive or be healthy. Obviously it can just be argued that they eat these things because, well, they’re vampires and it’s a work of fiction, and the fact they eat these weird foods just helps to hold the suspension of belief of them being supernatural creatures. But that’s not how I am going about this, so we’ll forget about that argument. With the consideration of vegetarian vampires, I am inclined to go with the fact that vampires eat these foods in particular because of tradition, because of their culture. Or at least the Draculas do. This may just be that it’s because they’re from “the old country” (Transylvania), and like aforementioned, they’re of a higher status and more likely to keep old vampire traditions. So it isn’t to say that vampires of this universe don’t enjoy a burger or two, despite the Count not knowing what they are. (“What is that, a person from Hamburg?”) However, the vampires that we are shown are all from a similar status family/position as the Draculas, and so their food does seem to be kind of similar. Whatever background a vampire comes from though, their diet is most definitely carnivorous, whatever form that meat comes in. This comes back to my main point of their eating habits coming from their vampire instinct. The fact that the Draculas are accustomed to eating certain foods in certain ways is probably more indicative of their class than anything else. As with all people, I’m sure these vampires have preferences and different types of food across the vampire globe – raw meat is something that you would assume they would eat, yet it is only seen to be eaten twice throughout the show. Ivan in Series 2 after his run-in with Van Helsing, and Hack in Series 5 from the basket of meat that Ingrid sent him. But, they definitely don’t need to have this diet to survive, and we can assume that its reason is more of instinct and tradition.

So what do vampires in the Young Dracula universe need to consume to survive?

Like I said previously, we don’t and won’t know for sure. But this exploration has shown that their need for blood and for meat as food is most definitely instinctual than anything else. Those that are led more by their instincts like the ferals, and even Ivan, are more likely to be blood thirsty and want their hunger satiated that way, more so than through food. They also prove that vampires can survive only on blood if need be, without the need for food as well. However, without food they definitely seem to be wilder than your average vampire. Or perhaps are exactly what you imagine a vampire to be like and the Draculas, due to their class and status, are simply more controlled. I’m not sure. What I am sure about though, is that it is possible for a vampire to live without blood, and without meat. This is proven by both Vlad and Talitha, and Ivan before he was reverted. So, what vampires need to survive is still unclear, but is nothing to do with having a special dietary requirement that is unlike a human’s. In fact, they probably can survive on the same diet as a breather. But, the key thing is their instincts, which are hard to control, being the main reason why the majority of vampires are carnivorous blood suckers. Even Vlad, who has always refused to drink blood even before he was vegetarian, has instinctual cravings for it.

TL;DR - Food for vampires in the Young Dracula universe seems to be more a thing of culture, tradition, and class than anything else. These vampires can definitely survive without blood and without meat if they wanted, however for most their instinctual need takes over. They also seem to be able to survive only on blood, however this appears to make them more instinct dependant, driving them slightly mad. Essentially, food seems to be a preference, and either it or blood can be the sole thing a vampire survives on, irrelevant of the consequences. Also, vegetarian vampires are pretty happily surviving without blood.

I’m sure there is much more I could talk about, especially once I finally read Bram Stoker’s Dracula, but this is pretty much all I can think of to explore for the moment. I would be here forever otherwise, and will probably add quite a bit in the future as I come up with more ideas to do with this.

[teashadephoenix]

11 Questions

I got tagged by @pomegranate-belle <3 I'm sorry this took for fucking ever?!!??

I’ll tag @lioness--hart @fox-in-the-library and @whitegodiva if you guys want to do it? And anybody else, obvi <3

1. How long have you been writing?

Actually sitting down to type stories out? Eight years old. I've been making shit up since I could talk. I have it on good authority I am entertaining to listen to.

2. What are the major themes of your current wip(s)? LONG ANSWER

omg I really dont know. I spent several hours over several days banging on this question in my head both in front of the computer and away from it only to come to the horrified realisation that I Don't Know. *gay panic*

I know the things I like to write about. I like to write about free exchange of culture, of mutual respect and fraternity with your fellow humans (which leads to themes of unity, unconditional love not only of people but of the world, and the gray area of what it means to protect those things without giving in to hate, indifference and intolerance. THE GRAY AREA IS WHERE I THRIVE.)

I like to write about intergenerational relationships (which leads to themes of obsolescence, changing of the guard, and how people, in general, not individuals, never really change. Like, there's For a Good Time graffiti on the walls at Pompeii. That is HILARIOUS.)

I write a lot about family, both born and found. (Everybody has a place and everybody is loved.) I write about mental illness and being queer (which all by itself leads to themes of not knowing your place in the world even if you have one. Frequently comes up against the previously mentioned theme)

So yeah. I don't know. My big WIP, the Aalee Rise series, is about a young woman on the cusp of adulthood going out into the world for the first time. It's her idealism vs reality. The other main characters in that cast are all foils re: various facets of societal structure and ideologies. One challenges her idea of government, another her idea of religion. She falls in love, her loyalties to her brother and parents are tested, she makes mistakes, she fights monsters and saves the world. A lot.

tldr; It's my sandbox and I just wanted to build castles in it. I don't really know if the castles will mean anything when I'm done. I hope they do.

3. What do you want people to take away from your story once they’ve read it?

My greatest ambition is that I could ever write a hero as beloved as the heroes I read about growing up, figures that reminds not to give up hope, to get back up when we're down, that the dark times ahead of us will come to pass.

At best, if I've done that, I'll be ecstatic and satisfied.

At worst, as long as you had a good time, if you didn't throw the book across the room in disgust, I'll take it.

4. Would you be excited if people write fanfiction about your wip(s)?

YAAAAS. I would literally never read it because Im terrified of accidentally absorbing someone's ideas and making them my own bc Christ alive that's a legal nightmare, but yes that would make my life.

And you can have my firstborn if you send me fanart.

5. What’s your go-to writing beverage?

Tea. Really strong and sweet. I make a fresh quart each morning and usually go through it by the end of day.

6. Who is your favorite oc? Tell me about them!

OMG ALL OF MY CHILDREN ARE PRECIOUS. (it's Aalee.)

Aalee Dering is the eighteen-year-old protagonist of my Aalee Rise series.  When we meet her in volume one (Worldwalk) she and her twin brother are setting off on their coming-of-age journey around the country. Her people, the Noruahai, have defended humanity for generations from unearthly creatures called asmic, and if she wants to become a licensed Marshal like her famous mother (and wow, she really, really does) she'll have to prove herself on her Worldwalk.

Aalee thinks with her heart first and always. She loves beautiful things, and all things are beautiful to her. She's quick to cry and struggles with anger, as well as distraction; she has trouble keeping focus. Good for getting into trouble. Not so good when it comes to being a responsible adult.

It would probably be easier if she wasn't of two minds on every single decision she has to make. She empathises with everyone, which can be paralysing-- how can she fight someone whose point of view she gets?

7. Do you feel that mistakes are important learning tools in the writing journey?

Mistakes are learning tools of life, darling. In writing they generally aren't the types that will destroy friendships, health, financial status, etc, which means they're generally easier to bounce back from. Unless you commit career suicide in some way...

8. Rank your ocs by their capability in a footchase (either running after or from smth, your choice)

1. Fall from the Aalee Rise series. He's a complicated human. Without getting into the context of the world he's from, he's hard to explain; but the short version is he's half-ghost so he can basically turn himself into the wind.

2. Rosie Frey from Color of the Stars but only when she's a lion. In her human form she's pretty normal.

3. Lynn Blythe (or any of the other vampires) from Echoes of Eden, because they're cheating cheaterfaces who use mystical vampy powers to be stronger and faster than humans

4. Sendmarshal Henley from the Aalee Rise series. Probably the fastest regular human. Imagine the most beautiful, tall, leggy black woman you can, all lean muscle and elegant grace, and now imagine her scooping you up and zipping out of danger with an easy smile on her face... *fans self* I stan.

5. When running headlong into danger to save someone? Aalee Dering. When running away? Frustratingly, satirically slow. She's one of those idiot heroes who stops to make sure everyone got away okay so Fall's always running back to grab her ("MOVE, IDIOT" "But that little old lady--" "FIRE-BREATHING MONSTERS. MOVE.")

9. Does your wip have romance? tell me about it!! if not tell me about a friendship/important relationship in your wip!! MORE LENGTHY BLAH

Relationships are the driving force of my writing. How one loves or is loved by other people, how they relate and engage with others, is how one grows, in real life and in fiction. There are a number of relationships in all my series that I'm fond of for various reasons. (For instance, even though she cannot STAND him, I'm eager af to write Eden and Lynn's relationship in Echoes of Eden because of how complicated it is.)

And as a rule all of my characters are queer or questioning unless otherwise stated, and I ship everybody with basically everybody else, and almost everybody has a love story in their history. (at least, their parents certainly do because I am a gross vile romantic and these fuckers came from somewhere.)

That having been said, for the sake of brevity I'll stick with Aalee Rise and limit myself to the Big Three: Aalee and her brother Elles, Aalee and her best friend Norah, and Aalee and Fall.

FAMILY: Aalee and Elles are twins. Born together and never separated, which stands out in a world where families are broken up by chaotic circumstances and random death on a regular basis. Aalee is easily distracted and has difficulty communicating her thoughts, so she tends to act on impulse; Elles is forever the cool head and the hand grabbing her by the back of the shirt to stop her from walking into danger. And after eighteen years of this... he's tired of it. He loves his sister, but he longs to see the world on his own terms, walk his own path. And Aalee doesn't share that sentiment. Not only doesn't share it, but is blown away when it comes into play. Her partner in crime wants to break away, and she does not take it very well. The first volume (Worldwalk) explores how their relationship suffers, grows, and changes due to this break.

FRIEND: Aalee's best friend of ten years is Norah. They met as little girls in a monster-ravaged town; Norah was entertaining the youngest orphans with a story and Aalee joined in. The pair of them spent a long night keeping civilians from panicking while Marshals battled asmic beyond the walls of the bunker. They exchanged addresses and became penpals over the next few years, since both of their parents travelled and they were rarely in the same place at the same time. That changed suddenly when Norah lost her father. Since then, Norah's family and Aalee's have lived in the same town. Norah is her warm hand in the dark, her shoulder to cry on, the first person she tells any good news. for Norah, Aalee is the only person (at the beginning of the story, anyway) with whom she can be her real whole self. They love each other no matter what.

ROMANCE: And then there's Fall. Aalee meets Fall when she rescues him from being murdered in a back alley-- except, oops, turns out it was a sting operation to catch the killer because he's not actually the helpless filthy vagabond she assumed he was; he's actually a powerful Marshal who was on assignment. Stuck together for various reasons, he becomes a mentor to her on her worldwalk, while she blatantly digs into the mystery of who he is, which turns out to complicate their lives, the lives of their friends and families, randos they happens across, their enemies, and also God's. To say they fall in love with each other is an understatement of cosmic proportions. They choose each other.

10. Do you believe in the advice kill your darlings?

Yeah but I take the advice as intended; which is not, as most assume, kill your fave characters, but to get rid of that which does not work, even if you love it. That pearlescent line of dialogue, or that golden bit of allegory? Doesn't matter how much you love it and how proud of it you are, if it does. not. work. it HAS. TO. GO. (save it in a new file to reread when you feel down and scrap that shit from the main file.)

that said re: killing characters, in my youth I was very much of the George RedRum Martin camp of "KILL THEM ALL" but as Ive gotten older my main focal point has been "What purpose does their death serve?" Death is not the only sacrifice worth writing. So while I am not afraid to kill my characters, I do take the nature of their deaths in the writing very seriously. There has to be a point.

11. Do you prefer plotting or worldbuilding? Why?

WORLDBUILDING MANYEXCLAMATIONPOINTSGOHERE! Plotting is like the maths of writing. It's measurement, it's brickwork, it's demolition when the wall you put up last week is three feet too long and now you have to scrap it and start over. Vital. But not my favorite part.

Worldbuilding is the art. It's the music your OCs hum and the stories that they treasure and the faith that holds them up when the crap you throw at them might tear them down. It's the story behind the jacket they wear and it's the reason they nod to the altar when they enter a place of worship and it's the meaning of their names. It's the magic. How the world works, the little details that make it real to the reader because it's real for your characters, is my favorite part of writing.

[barpurplewrites]

Ghost Clause - Chapter 5

(Story so far AO3)

-x-x-x-

Neal and Emma had offered Belle the use of the pawnshop as a base to work from. They had warned her that Gold would probably turn up again at some point in the afternoon. She wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing the ghost again, but she did feel the need to apologise for screaming at him during their first meeting. To be honest she wasn’t as embarrassed about her reaction since she’d talked to Emma, at least she’d not thrown things at him.

In the backroom there was a wide workbench which allowed her to spread out all of the paperwork relating to the Gold claim. The wheeled chair saved her from stretching to reach various piles of paper. She wondered if Gold had designed this set-up to facilitate the repairs he apparently did on the antiques in the shop. She had tried to stay focused solely on her work, but this room was an Aladdin’s cave of wonders and she’d not been able to resist a quick look around.

She’d read through everything twice and made a few notes about the language of the ghost clause, as far as she could see there was nothing mystical hidden within the wording. Belle snorted to herself; how the heck would she know if there was a resurrection spell woven into the clause? The closest thing she knew to magic came from Lovecraft or Harry Potter. She ruled the first out because unless Gold was hiding tentacles under his well-tailored suit he didn’t look like one of the Deep Ones, and the second because if JK had worked real magic into her stories of the Boy Who Lived then the Potterheads would have discovered it by now.

Belle groaned to herself, she clearly going mad looking for answers to this in literature, but where else was she supposed to find out what the hell was going on here?

She twirled a pen between her fingers and took a deep breath; she had to phone Jenny now. This call was probably going to have her employers questioning her sanity more than she already was; then again, she didn’t have to tell them that she’d met a ghost this morning, she was just requesting more information in order to do a through job. She punched Jenny direct line before she seconded guessed herself.

“Jenny Cooper.”

“Hey Jenny, it’s Belle. Do you have a moment?”

“Of course. How’s Maine?”

“Cold, but pretty.”

“Sounds about right. How’s the case? Meet the headless horseman yet?”

Belle gave a laugh that didn’t sound too forced to her own ears; “I’m pretty certain his haunt is in Upstate New York, but I do want to ask about past claims on this clause.”

Jenny gave a thoughtful hum; “Belle do you think you’ve found a real ghost?”

Belle’s eyes widened as a stack of papers rose into the air and an invisible hand began flicking through the pages.

“No, it’s looking like a fraudulent claim.”

Gold materialized in front of her and raised an eyebrow at her. She frowned at him and continued her conversation with Jenny.

“Just due diligence. I want to make sure that I’ve followed the same procedures as previous investigators.”

“Okay that make sense, don’t want to drag this out with a counter-claim. It’ll take me a while to collect the relevant documents, but I should be able to email them to you by the end of the day.”

“Thank Jenny.”

“No problem, make sure you carry some garlic with you.”

“That’s for vampires. Bye Jenny.”

Gold was smirking as she ended the call and dropped her phone onto the desk.

“Salt.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Protection against ghosts, salt. Throw it at me and I disappear for a while, I also can’t cross a line of it,” – He jerked a thumb towards the kitchen alcove, - “There’s some in the cupboard next to the teabags if you feel the need.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” – She fiddled with her pen, - “I am sorry for screaming at you this morning.”

Gold gave an easy shrug; “No matter. I’ve had worse reactions.”

He placed the papers he’d been flipping through on the desk and settled himself in the chair opposite her. For a long moment he stared at her before finally saying; “You have questions, so do I. Quid pro quo?”

Belle had a rapid mental flash of Silence of the Lambs, but shook it away quickly. She didn’t feel threatened by Gold; he was as curious about his new state as she was. Her nod of agreement brought a slight smile to his lips.

“Ladies first.”

She bit her lip as she decided where to start; “What do you remember after your death?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry Miss French, from my perspective I died and then I walked to work the next morning. There was a week between those two events I’m told, but for me there was nothing in between, no tunnels of light, or grim reapers, no angels or devils, simply nothing.”

Belle opened her mouth to ask another question, but closed it again at Gold’s raised finger. He was serious about them taking turns with their questions. Neal had said he was a stickler for a contract.

“Has this happened before?”

“I’m not sure. There have been half a dozen claims on this particular clause, but they have all been stamped as fraudulent. I have my doubts about that now, so I’ve asked for the files to be sent, perhaps there will be some commonality that we can explore.”

Gold sighed, but didn’t look disappointed. He waited patiently as Belle decided what to ask next.

“Did you dabble with the occult, or magic?”

He chuckled; “Card tricks and some sleight of hand, but I doubt my skill at Find the Lady is the reason for my ghostly state.”

“No, probably not.”

Gold rubbed his fingers together and pointed at her phone; “Why did you lie to your employers?”

Belle rolled her shoulders; “I didn’t exactly lie, I’d only met you once at that point and I didn’t want to give an incomplete report.”

He smirked at her; “Lies by omission, Miss French.”

“Well, maybe, but I didn’t want my boss to think that I was hysterical. The company is convinced that this is a scam, so I’m going to need solid evidence before I change their minds, and that needs further research into the hows and whys.”

He looked impressed at her reasoning. He almost started to ask another question but bit it back and yielded the floor to her.

“Do you think it is the contract keeping you here? Neal did mention that you were very particular about them.”

Gold laughed bitterly, and leaned back in his chair. His eyes wandered around the room for a moment before turning back to her with a sad smile.

“No doubt he also told you that money is the only thing I care about. A million dollars is not to be sneezed at, but, and forgive me if this sounds like I’m bragging, but I am a very rich man Miss French. Well Neal and Henry are very rich men since my demise. Your company could offer ten times that amount, and I wouldn’t give a damn about it because no matter the sum, money can not legally buy new lungs for my grandson.”

Belle tilted her head to one side and Gold nodded.

“To answer your inevitable follow up question; yes, I considered the black market, but my son and grandson would never forgive me. I am content to continue in this ghostly purgatory, but I will not turn it into hell on earth by estranging my family.”

“Neal actually said that family is the most important thing in the world to you.”

His lip trembled, and she was sure she could see tears gathering in his eyes.

“My boy said that?”

“Yes, Mr Gold.”

She fussed with the papers on the desk, anything to keep her head down and give him a moment to collect himself. Gold wore his mask of indifference as easily as he wore his fine suit, but it was only a mask, one that had fallen away for the moment. She wondered how painful those ten years separated from his son had been for him, and how cold the face he must have presented to the town for them to still think of him as a beastly landlord.

Gold cleared his throat; “Do you drink tea Miss French?”

She looked up and found him with his mask back in place, mostly, there was something softer about his features, the habitual smirk was a real smile now.

“A cup of tea would be lovely.”

Gold rose to his feet and strolled across the shop to the kitchen. There was a limp to his gait as he favoured his right leg. Belle was about to ask what had happened to it when she changed her mind and asked instead; “Why do you think you became a ghost, Mr Gold?”

He turned on the ball of his foot and simply said; “Guilt.”

[siriusstarx]

DANGER! Van has a whisk in his hand! There is a scene in the Fandisk that shows just how scary Van’s cooking really is… I would be very afraid!

Here is my translation of the most pertinent parts of the article. I am no expert, but the themes and plots should be pretty accurate.

It seems the “If” stories are all set after the Finis end. I can see why, since in that one Cardia has no romantic bonds with anyone in particular, but her poison is resolved so all the stories can start at the same place. (Not that *I* liked Finis’s route. It was my least favorite scenario in Code: Realize by a wide margin.)

……

Saint’s “if” story:

Story:

Gathering Idea to get ready for Christmas!?

By the order of Omnibus the commander of the order of Idea, Saint was ordered to take a long vacation, but, everyone in Lupin’s Gang was away from Saint’s mansion on their own business for the time being. Saint who had free time decided to hold a Christmas party. So he invited Guinevere and Hansel, members of Idea, to help decorate for Christmas at Saint’s house. Guinevere is amazed but complaining (uncomplaining?) lends a hand. (??)

((Pretty confident about the scenario, but that last line was all but hopeless. It keeps insisting Guinevere “makes a lease,” which is nonsense. Normally when I encounter something that won’t make sense, the best thing is to just go on. Usually you can figure it out with some additional context…. here of course, there isn’t any further context.))

Theme:

“Endless days again.” (Makes more sense than the alternate “I wish I had a date once again.”)

Concept is colleague association. It is the story of Saint who waits for his friends who left the nest…. although it is lighter in tone, it may be understood that it is a tribute to Lupin’s normal end. (High confidence)

…..

Impey:

Story:

“Special menu for you”

Cardia is to visit London at Christmas. When Impey heard it is a big deal! From the morning ensconced in the kitchen in Saint’s mansion, making a special menu, Delly and Van came in covered with snow, London was experiencing a rare raging blizzard. Cardia and Finis were stuck on a train. When Impey heard about it, he has to decide whether to leave the dish half finished to his friends and go out–!? (Medium confidence on the end bit, otherwise pretty good.)

((Ah…. bad idea leaving the food anywhere near Van AND Delly…. well, there’s always going out to eat…))

Theme:

“The meaning of love”

Impey always says “I love you” to Cardia everyday. He is apt to be seen as not serious because he says it so much. It is a scenario to rethink the meaning of the word “love”. Well it is OK Impey! I feel that the conclusion will not change.

(Pretty confident.)

…..

Van:

Story:

“I remember the day”

After finishing everything, Van went on a journey with Delly to search for the surviving vampires. Thinking of lively companions who can rarely meet. At that time his enemy Finis was living with his sister Cardia in Wales. Van remembers the day he said goodbye to Cardia. Delly suggests they stop in Wales to see Cardia.

(Confidence… medium in detail but confident about the scenario.)

Theme:

“Her home visit”

This scenario is from Van’s side on visiting Cardia’s house. There he meets Finis her younger brother. The relationship between Van and Finis is very complex.

(Pretty confident)

….

Lupin:

Story:

“I want to see you but I cannot say it.”

After resolving the incident, Cardia left London and Lupin’s residence to go to Wales. Cardia started to live with Finis. Lupin’s days are filled with unusual mistakes and disappointments. Eventually he realized he was depressed due to Cardia’s absence. He decides to write her a letter, but he can’t think of what to say! In the end he decides to invite Cardia to a Christmas party to be held in London….

(confident as to the scenario.)

Scenario:

“Something is missing”

From the beginning, Lupin had solid feeling with the hero. When he is no longer the hero, what on earth will he become? This scenario is made of such themes, but since he is a gentleman thief he will steal back if he is lacking peace of mind.

(Lower confidence. This page is slightly blurrier… The theme is there, but detail is a bit fuzzy.)

…..

Fran:

Story:

“I thought that confession was awaited…..!?”

Fran who started a clinic in London lower town, received a letter from Cardia. Fran’s parents saw the letter at his house and thought Fran was (getting?) married! (???) They ask to meet her at Christmas. Fran hurries to Wales to ask Cardia to pretend to be his girlfriend. However, Cardia somehow has lost the mood…!?

(Confidence level: medium-low. Pretty sure about the plot, but it was extraordinarily obtuse about the details. The plot is basically that Fran’s parents think he has a girlfriend and want to meet her on Christmas. Fran decides to ask Cardia to pretend. But Cardia feels sad about it. (Seemingly that it is pretend.)

(Edited for new information)

Theme:

Greeting the parents!?

…..yes, there is nothing to say that hasn’t already been described in the explanation. The result of failing to read a very delicate woman’s heart. (It is completely different from Victor’s crisis in Future Blessings.) the greatest crisis of his life will attack Fran. Hang in there Fran. (Medium confidence.)

…….

(Page 36 with Cardia’s picture.)

Story:

In winter when the Steel City is covered in white, living apart from you and his story.

You choose a sweet day with two young people– (?)

A certain encounter that happened in the space of an adventure seeking her father.

A story that draws their future–

Currently spending time with important people whose past has not been told yet. And yet to see the future.

Beyond the blessed future.

What kind of miraculous feelings will be born in the girl’s heart.

((Translate colorfully suggested “miraculous feelings about the girl’s breasts.” I don’t think this is that kind of story…))

First Christmas:

Future of FD Future Blessings. After Finis’ story, Cardia is not connected with anyone of the world’s 5 main characters. A love story is being spun- who will Cardia choose to spend her first Christmas with?

Other scenarios:

Finis:

After the Finis route of FD. happy life of a younger brother who defeated fate and became human.

(Confident about the basic plot.)

Sholmes:

in order to solve the poison still left in Cardia, a journey with the world’s greatest detective that is active again will be told.

(Confident about the plot.)

Cantarella:

One day, Cardia met a girl named Cantarella, and her father Miles, exchange with an unusual aristocrat Aiguille follow along. (??)

(This page is being really difficult for some reason. That’s the scenario but details are hazy… As always, I never trust Translate for names.)

Triangle date:

A scenario where you can enjoy a date with Lupin as three people(?!) A lively story where various interactions are prepared around the heroine.

(A little vague. The dates are all with Lupin and one other? Or can you choose your combination? That would be fun. The ‘date’ with Saint and Impey was the most purely fun moment in the fandisk. Actually, this one looks like fun no matter how it plays out.)

Aw, I wanted a Christmas scenario with Shirley! I really liked Shirley.

[amorremanet]

You reblogged an OC meme! Thank god, tell us about Josie!

oc profiles meme!

…oh my god, i was so excited to click post and babble about josie at people that i initially forgot to come back and fill in the placeholder with something about how excited i was to talk about josie (—it’s like 4:15 AM where i am, which is probably part of the problem but i digress)

Full Name: Josiah Daniel Quinn — but, please, they explicitly prefer to be called, “Josie,” so unless you’re one of their bosses over at S.T.R.O.M.A*, whom they’re in no position to argue with, call them Josie. If not that, then use their surname. But if you can avoid it, just please do not call them by their full given first name, okay?

Shiny mutant superhero codename: Lyaeus — derived from an aspect of Dionysus who is traditionally invoked as a reliever of pain and a deliverer from anxiety and emotional turmoil and so on, which is one of their preferred uses of their psychic abilities and one of Josie’s larger goals in life (for them, it’s a mix of, “If something bad is going to happen, and you can do something to stop it and choose not to, that’s on you” and, “The world is a mess and largely sucks, but that’s no reason not to do what we can to take care of each other”).

Their codename is doubly special to them because although they were raised loosely Catholic and have a Mormon extended family who mostly doesn’t acknowledge their existence (and hasn’t for their entire life, since their Mom left the Mormon church to marry Josie’s Dad, oops), Josie is a hellenic pagan whose primary relationship is with Dionysus.

They thought for a long time and did a lot of reflection about whether or not it was too presumptuous of them to use one of his aspects as a codename, but eventually, they went with it because they see their codename and its meaning as someone who they’re continually striving to be and a set of values that they’re always trying to bring to bear in the world, and they feel like Dionysus is probably okay with that.

Gender and Sexuality: DMAB Genderfluid. // Bisexual.

This isn’t actually specifically about their gender or sexuality, but I couldn’t think of where else to put it: Josie grew up around all things Rocky Horror. Like, their parents were highly involved in the local community theatre, which did a semi-regular RHPS shadow-cast, and Josie’s parents brought their kid with them often enough that Josie grew up with their blood family and their, “Rocky family.”

Josie would rather deal with their Rocky family than their blood family a lot of the time, because their Rocky family was more immediately there for them during a lot of rough stuff while they were growing up, and their Rocky family handled it better at the various times when they came out, and their Rocky family didn’t say shit like, “Wait, I thought you were gay, why are you going back in the closet” when they came out as bi or ask invasive questions when they came out as genderfluid and was more supportive in general of Josie’s evolving sense of their own identity, and so on.

Pronouns: They/Them/Theirs.

Josie does also answer to He/Him/His pronouns, but that isn’t a choice on their part, so much as it’s an issue of, “Well, I can be out at work and open the door to potential harassment and people who will invalidate my gender identity and likely flat-out refuse to respect my pronouns, which will create more difficulty for myself in a job that’s already difficult because it’s stressful to begin with and I hate working here — or I can suck it up and just be grateful that my friends and parents are all good about this”

Like, one of the things that Seb does when he and Josie first meet that makes Josie go, “I’m still not totally thrilled at being assigned to help out the newbie (especially since I know I’m only getting this assignment because: 1. our bosses are playing a game of, ‘lmao just toss the LGBTQ ones together’ because the newbie’s gay and pretty much everyone here thinks that I am too; and 2. Deputy Director Gray is still cranky with me over that MSNBC round-table that I did last week where Yael kept pushing me to voice my own opinions and not the Bureau’s official line) — but maybe it won’t actually be completely awful and maybe he’s going to be okay as a new partner”?

…is noticing that Josie wears two woven yarn bracelets on one wrist — one of them in the lavender/white/chartreuse colors of the genderqueer flag, and the other in the pink/white/purple/black/blue of the genderfluid flag — and first waiting for them to be alone in Josie’s office, then going, “Oh, so are you genderfluid? What are your pronouns?” and then listening and respecting it when Josie explained that they’d rather Seb just kept using he/him/his at work

Species: Human (mutant with aforementioned mutant psychic powers)

Race/Ethnicity: White, and the only real part of Josie’s ethnic background that’s ever been important in their life was that their late paternal grandmother was very proud of being Irish.

Like, her parents had come to Ellis Island from Ireland — though she was too young to have any actual memories of the passage herself — and she wasn’t so insistent about it that she objected to her son marrying a Mormon girl instead of a Good Irish Catholic Girl, but still, the Irish thing was a big deal for her.

Josie, personally, doesn’t get it beyond, “I’m white and I have a particular aversion to St. Patrick’s Day because first of all, some of my extended family members can turn into a bunch of rowdy, off-putting little shits on St. Patrick’s Day, and I always had to suffer through that because we always had a party for it, first because Grandma wanted one, and then in honor of her memory.

“And secondly, because as soon as anyone hears that I’m partially Irish and/or a Dionysian, it is just assumed that I want to go get wasted on St. Patrick’s Day, which I don’t, but I still end up going out into environments that are absolute Hell for someone who has both telepathy and hyper-empathy, because the spaces are crowded, emotions are running high, and there is basically nowhere to escape to where you can get some peace and quiet and a break from the sensory and emotional overload of being at a rowdy bar on St. Patrick’s Day.

“And I endure all of this with people whom I may not even like that much just so they’ll have a designated driver, because I would feel bad personally if I didn’t go to make sure they all got home okay, and just because they don’t understand my god or might want to get something else out of him than I do, doesn’t mean that I should brush them off and risk them getting hurt while they’re completely shit-faced.

“Which doesn’t make this any less exhausting and awful, but it’s better than taking the chance that they might get hurt, y’know?”

Birthplace and Birthdate: Saratoga Springs, NY. // 22nd February, 1980 — they’re a Pisces (Libra rising, Gemini moon).

Guilty Pleasures: High-quality dark chocolate, high-quality makeup even if they can’t wear most of it as often as they’d like^, the original Vampire Chronicles novels (and though they will sometimes claim that only the original six ones, “count,” Josie owns everything that Anne Rice has published, even the ridiculous Jesus books), binge-watching reruns of Project Runway…

And they don’t feel particularly guilty about it, but one of the simple things that makes Josie happy is playfully teasing their emergency contacts/best friends over how their parents named them after Beatles songs

Jude, naturally, was “Hey Jude” and Rocky got named after, “Rocky Raccoon” because, at the last minute, his and Jude’s parents decided to veto naming him Desmond because he’s a character in “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” but his name is not in the title, which was apparently a deal-breaker because of reasons

Rocky also sometimes gets playful ribbing about all things Rocky Horror, because he and Josie are ridiculous nerds, and RHPS isn’t their exclusive thing because Josie will share it with anyone who gives them half a chance to do so…… but it is still a thing that is special to Josie and Rocky, so here they are

If you ask them, Josie will tell you that they don’t believe in associating pleasure with guilt, and in their defense, they do believe in encouraging people not to feel guilty for enjoying the things that make them happy or that help them survive, because as long as those things aren’t hurting anyone — yes, that includes you, person Josie is talking to — then you have a right to be happy and a right to take care of yourself

The reality is that Josie says this to people so often because it’s something that they often struggle with themself, and even though they’re better, in some ways, than they have been in the past, there are still a lot of places where they need work

Also, Josie wouldn’t call some of the more poppy music that they like, “guilty pleasures” — especially because, if you ask them, there is no reason to feel guilty about listening to, for example, Beyoncé or Nicki Minaj

—but it is still the case that, if they were going to have a mini-reunion with some of the old goth crew friends from high school whom they don’t keep in touch with that often, Josie probably wouldn’t mention Nicki or Beyoncé, unless it was by accident or until they were sure that the old gang wasn’t going to do the judgmental goth kids thing they used to do of going, “ugh, all pop music is soulless empty bullshit for posers” and so on

Also also, there is almost no chance of them ever admitting this to most people, but…… Josie kinda loves the goth kids from South Park. Like, Josie really kinda loves them.

There’s basically no chance of them ever admitting it to most people because for one thing, it’s embarrassing to them, due to the whole South Park of everything.

For another, they’d feel the need to give someone a lengthy, tedious disclaimer about how they don’t actually watch South Park or enjoy it very much, they just know about the goth kids because one of their best friends went, “Oh my god, Josie, you have to watch this, the new Goth kid characters are so you” way back when, after the first episode with them in it aired and said friend (Rocky) was still taping new eps on VHS to watch after he got home from night classes

And…… well. Josie still wouldn’t give South Park much credit for anything else, but they do really love the goth kids, and they agree with Rocky’s, “omg it you” moment because the South Park goth kids are often eerily similar to shit that they said and did as a weird little goth kid back in high school

At one point, Rocky actually made Josie little plush dolls of the goth kids that he’d designed himself, and they are a big reason why you’re not allowed in Josie’s room until they trust you.

Other reasons include:

Josie doesn’t want most people to touch their makeup or put any of it out of order, and they keep most of it in their bedroom, on their dresser, in front of the vanity mirror that they found someone just throwing out shortly after they moved to Baltimore, even though it’s a perfectly good mirror so wtf;

some of Josie’s favorite and most personally meaningful religious and spiritual paraphernalia is in their bedroom (they keep their actual shrine to Dionysus and their, “worship workspace” in a different room at their place, but some of the more personally significant things are in their room most of the time, and they’d rather you didn’t have a chance to touch them);

Josie just tends to be an incredibly private person who places a lot of value on their personal space and having spaces that are set aside as Theirs. They were like this even before their psychic abilities kicked in and made them value even more their personal space, and ability to have a place that is set apart as Theirs Exclusively where they can go to get some distance from all the mental, emotional, and sensory overload that comes from feeling almost everyone’s feelings and hearing many of their thoughts**, to some extent or another, almost all the time;

and the few albums of old photos and framed old photos, some of which are just garden variety embarrassing like, “yes, my hair is naturally blond, here is photographic evidence from before my parents let me start dyeing it, and oh yeah, that was probably backstage after the community theatre production of Oliver! that I did in eighth grade — oh yeah, definitely that one, there’s my Artful Dodger costume and my glaringly blond hair”

but others of which are, for lack of a better term, fairly emotionally complicated for Josie. There are several different reasons why any of these photos might be kinda complicated — ranging from, “they feature Josie’s one particularly heinous ex-boyfriend who used his wealthy family’s connections to get Josie blacklisted from working in fashion after they graduated from Pratt’s School of Design” to, “they’re from the year in high school that Josie wound up having to do over because they had to spend a few months getting inpatient treatment for their eating disorder”

^: even before getting recruited to S.T.R.O.M.A., Josie got really good at finding a balance between the, “I don’t want to look pretty, I want to look otherworldly and possibly like a vampire fairy from Wonderland” style of makeup that they want to wear, and a “more professional” style that is less likely to make their clients feel uncomfortable or get them harassed — but god, do they wish that they didn’t have to strike said balance.

It wouldn’t actually make their fondness for high-quality and often expensive makeup feel like any less of a guilty pleasure, for several reasons — on one hand, their awareness of how makeup is always politically Complicated, at best; on the other, if they got to wear their makeup exactly how they want it every day, they would end up spending more money on makeup, and it would make them feel guilty because they’d feel like it’s very irresponsible and probably going to screw them over down the line because they bought makeup instead of saving the money or putting it toward something else; and on the tentacle, a whole laundry list of other reasons

—but they would still feel more comfortable with themself and more at ease with everything because they’d be presenting exactly as they want, instead of censoring their own personal gender expressions (which they’re more okay with doing when it comes to their clients because that’s a case of compromising part of their well-being in the name of [probably] helping people who need them and pay them for that help, whereas toning it down at S.T.R.O.M.A. is tedious and Josie would seriously rather not)

(They have more than once said that the degree to which they have to tone things down for S.T.R.O.M.A. makes them feel like Ned “I’m not a Satanic sex god anymore, used to be a super gothed out androgynous rock star, but is now a straitlaced and nerdy substitute teacher” Schneebly from School of Rock.

This is not a good feeling, in Josie Land. They don’t like it and they live for the weekend because, barring any major incidents that get them called in to S.T.R.O.M.A., they get to wear what the fuck they want, forego pants in favor of their favorite skirts, do their gender how the fuck they want, and wear makeup that makes them look like a vampire fairy from Wonderland)

Phobias: Josie’s biggest fear, in the immediate sense, is losing control of their psychic abilities and ending up hurting people and/or destroying themself somehow.

Underlying that, they have a bigger and more further-reaching fear of being out of control of themself and their own actions, in general.

They’re simultaneously afraid of crowds (largely because they can get really overwhelming for Josie, really fast), and afraid of isolation, which ends up making them a lot like the sort of cat who goes all like, “cuddle me cuddle me cuddle me please please please i need love and affection… no wait, fuck you, this is stifling me and i need to get out of here… wait shit i’m lonely someone please love me… no, not you, you fucking suck… why am i so lonely, why won’t anyone pay attention to me… and so and so forth ad nauseam”

That said, when I was doing Pottermore quizzes for my kids because that is the sort of thing I find both fun and useful, Josie’s picked, “Isolation” for the, “Which is your greatest fear” question on the wand quiz

They picked, “An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked” for the, “Which nightmare would frighten you most” question on the Sorting Hat quiz

Other miscellaneous fears and squicks: Worms, eels, and anything like that (but snakes are okay, snakes are great).

The possibility of never finding love (which they know is kind of ridiculous, because they do have a lot of love in their life… but Josie does want to be with someone romantically, and all their miscellaneous issues with their blood family aside, it’s weird and kind of disheartening for them that most of their cousins have gotten married or settled down with someone, so yeah, Josie knows that this fear is based on a lot of ideas that they generally don’t like and don’t want to live by, but still.

They’re 35, their closest friends both have longstanding romantic relationships, they’re one of the few cousins left who doesn’t have a plus-one to bring to the next family wedding, and they want a romantic relationship, so being perpetually reminded that they’re not in one kicks them in the larger fear that there is something about them that is just fundamentally unlovable, so they might end up being forever alone).

What They Would Be Famous For: Realistically? Probably how they’re going to start a new superhero team with Lucy, Pete, and Sebastian — later accumulating others — and how they’re all going to kinda stumble into trying to foil some other mutants who also happen to be neo-fascist supervillains. But had Josie’s one ex, Danny, not effectively gotten them blacklisted from working in fashion, Josie might well have made a pretty big name for themself there.

They used to joke about being famous for going on Project Runway and winning, but… this started after they’d already gotten onto the path that led them to therapeutic practice, and seen that they had the potential to do a lot of good in the world by continuing on that path, so the chances of them actually doing the Project Runway thing were almost nothing

What They Would Get Arrested For: While they haven’t technically been arrested before, Josie could have been arrested for illegally overstepping the bounds of what their particular level of metahuman license allowed them to do, and if they get arrested in the future, it is almost definitely going to be for something like protesting or some trumped up nonsense charges that actually boil down to, “getting on the wrong side of neo-fascist supervillains who have wealth and connections and political power.”

OCs You Ship Them With:

Romantically: Pete is my favorite here, but: 1. I’m also going to make them work for it, because they would be good for each other, but it wouldn’t just happen super-easily for several reasons, both about the two of them individually and about how they get on together;

and 2. I’d also dig shipping Josie with Seb, Stephen, Vince, Sylvia, Izzy, Raphael, and Cynthia — though tbh, I like non-romantic Seb/Josie better than romantic Seb/Josie

Platonically: As mentioned, Jude, Rocky, and Sebastian. Aside from them, Margot, Lucy, and Sara Grace (who are all ruled out as romantic options by the three of them being lesbians), and Josie being genderfluid, yes, but not identifying with womanhood enough for them to consider romantically pursuing someone who identifies as a lesbian. Todd (who I kind of feel bad for, because he’s sort of the loser in love so far, but otoh, that’s partially his own damn fault and he has a lot of growing to do before I’m letting him have a romantic relationship that actually lasts). Yael and Elizabeth. Really, everyone on the romantic list is a good platonic relationship, too.

“this is not a ship that i condone but i find their relationship interesting, and exploring Not Good relationships is Important to me”: Julian, who actually hasn’t met Josie yet, and won’t for a while, and their relationship will be…… tricky, in a lot of ways, many of which have something to do with how Julian is a huge tool who has a charming tendency to take his own self-loathing and insecurity out on everyone else while acting campy and making sarcastic quips as though this makes his behaviors totally okay.

Pretty much everything about Julian makes him someone who would make Josie say, “the Lord is testing me”

(only for someone — probably Lucy — to go, “But you’re not Christian” and get told either, “I was raised as one, maybe Jesus’s Dad is still grumpy that I found someone who’s better for me. Anyway, you know what I meant, right?”

or, “Fine. The Almighty Thundering Zeus, lord of the heavens and king of Olympus and He Who Was Cheating On His Wife With Everyone Ever Before It Was Cool, is testing me. There. Does that version make you happy?”)

But, yeah. Julian would make Josie go, “someone is testing me” because so much of who and what he is makes Josie want to help him, but so much of what he does makes Josie want to punch him

(an impulse that Josie largely won’t be acting on because, unfortunately for them:

1. they did not get any super-strength kinds of mutations and in an RPG, Strength would be one of their lowest stats;

and 2. first, they need to learn how to throw a punch without hurting themself more than the other person.

Punching neo-fascists isn’t their strong suit. They can let Seb and Lucy do the actual punching.

And Pete, even though Pete really shouldn’t because Pete also doesn’t know how to throw a punch without hurting himself more than the other person, so Josie is more likely to try and stop him from punching a neo-fascist supervillain in the face.

Not that Josie will always succeed in that, but… well. They and their teammates are all only human.)

Anyway, uh. Josie/Julian isn’t a ship that I’d personally want to see as the endgame of anything, ever, but I find their dynamic and the potential interactions between them interesting, and they’re something I’m looking forward to playing around with more, when it’s their time

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Conrad will kinda want to, because he finds Josie’s sense of ethics to be, “tedious and outdated,” but ultimately, he wouldn’t go through with it because Josie’s creativity would intrigue him too much.

Senator Huntington would also want Josie to die, but he wouldn’t do any of the actual murdering because he doesn’t do his own dirty work.

All things considered, Edward and Desmond are probably going to end up with the job, “Go kill the weird effete one who looks like some kind of vampire fairy from Wonderland” because everyone else is busy, and they will fail at it, because that’s kind of what they do.

They are Those Two Bad Guys, and they kind of suck at almost everything that they try to do.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Fantasy, vampire trash, psychological thrillers, magical girl everything, and horror (pretty much all kinds of horror, though Josie’s most fond of monster horror, anything with revenge-y themes, and religious or cosmic horror. They will probably tell you, “The weirder and more pointlessly, aesthetically symbolic, the better”).

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Josie would tell you that it’s how much romanticized abuse there is in paranormal romance, and to be fair, they do hate that…… but they still read it or watch it and get invested in these fictional relationships, even without necessarily coming up with a counter-reading of the text’s opinion, beyond, “this relationship is abusive even if the author doesn’t get that”

Which, to be fair, doesn’t mean that they don’t hate the prevalence of romanticized intimate partner abuse, just that it’s an, “I hate this thing” where they still engage with it, and not just because there aren’t always a lot of options without it

(Horror flicks that demonize and stigmatize mental illness are a thing where Josie doesn’t like the thing, but suffers through them because there aren’t a lot of other options otherwise)

But one trope that will make them, “nope” out…… uh.

Josie is really sensitive about The Uncanny Valley, and while they may not fully, “nope” out of things over it, they need to take more time than most people to prep themselves for seeing it and recover after seeing it

Also, not a trope, but Shia LaBeouf will make Josie “nope” out of anything. They have no rational reason for disliking Shia LeBouf, so much as he Just Irrationally Bugs Them, but they will “nope” out of things if he’s involved

Talents and/or Powers: Okay, so, a lot of Josie’s actual superpowers are discussed elsewhere, especially in the footnotes, so let’s talk about their other, non-mutant superpowers. They can sew. Even without having been actively designing anything for a while, they can still pull out a good design and they are capable of following a pattern pretty well. They know their limits fairly well, and better than pretty much everyone in the main team (this doesn’t mean that they always). And it’s almost 4 AM, so this answer is getting cut short by, “I am tired and I want to sleep” (and the next two answers will suck for the same reason)

Why Someone Might Love Them: Josie is creative and curious and once you get them to warm up, calm down, and stop worrying so much about anything, they’re a complete dork who, among other things, gives people, “C’thulhu kisses” (done by sticking your hands in front of your mouth and wiggling your fingers like tentacles, and maybe making a silly noise and saying, “C’thulhu kisses!” like you’re Sailor Moon shouting her transformation phrase). They have a pretty good sense of humor about themself, outside of their precious few no go areas. Josie is compassionate and they do genuinely want the best for most people, even people they don’t personally like very much. They try to be patient with people, even when they really don’t want to be, and even if they don’t always know what the best option is, they still try to actually do things and choose the best option for creating positive change.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Their cycle of indecisiveness that leads to recklessness that leads to self-punishing thoughts and behaviors that leads to more indecisiveness, and rinse lather repeat. Their tendency to be really judgmental, even while acknowledging that being judgmental is something that, in their experience, causes more harm than good, and that they want to avoid more often. The way that they can lapse into talking like a high school goth kid who’s up-talking the superiority of goth subculture and doesn’t realize that they sound like an elitist, conformist prick, just like the people they’re complaining about allegedly do.

How They Change: Well, for one thing, Josie has some things to learn about how they relate to people and manage their relationships — which doesn’t necessarily make them special because this is just kind of a Thing for most of my main characters in one way or another. Josie’s specific issue wrt relating to other people has to do with their reluctance to trust people and open up and try to build any new relationships, which has often led to them practicing a sort of interpersonal-level isolationism that has hurt them and other people.

They also have something to learn about managing the façade(s) that they present to the world, much like how Seb has to learn something about his habit of acting like everything is okay while he’s suffering and thinking anyone believes him anymore because he doesn’t want to deal with his problems

and like how Pete has to learn about how…… yeah, okay, he is genuinely angry about a lot of things — some of them fair and really more, “righteous indignation” than anything else, and some of them less fair — but a lot of how he acts that anger out in the world is not actually as truthful as Pete feels like it is, but more a way of keeping people at arm’s length, testing them and testing his relationships with them, and trying to push them away before they can get the chance to hurt him

In Josie’s case, their façade(s) are a bit different because most of them came into being less because of an emotional choice on Josie’s part — e.g., Seb doesn’t want to deal with his problems because they’re painful and terrifying and they feel like they’re too big to handle — and more out of pragmatic decisions

……but then Josie came to rely on them in contexts other than the ones in which they were originally created, and balancing that many different versions of yourself is stressful as fuck-all, especially for someone who already has to do a lot of work to keep reminding themself of where their personal boundaries are, and Josie hides in their different façades every bit as much as every other character who has one, and largely only gets away with that because most people in their life don’t know them well enough to notice this, and their façades do still have pragmatic value, so most people who do notice don’t say shit about shit

Then, there’s Josie’s relationship to time, which

I’m going to explain this really badly now, because it’s 3:33 and I’m tired, but basically, I see Seb, Josie, and Lucy as complementing each other in how they relate to and orient themselves in time, and the negative side-effects that they create for themselves because of these behaviors

On one hand, Seb is way too prone to being stuck in the past. He clings to it too much — but also has a selective relationship with it, where people he cares about get forgiven too easily and Seb tries to deny that he still feels upset about anything (even when basically everyone around him knows that he does feel upset and is just trying not to deal with it), while Seb forgives himself for nothing and defines himself so much by all of his past mistakes

—and he goes past the point of, “honoring and respecting history, such as by not ignoring times when he did fuck up (of which there are many)” to, “actively impeding his own progress in life because, for example, he keeps trying the same shit over and over and over again, even though it literally never works, because it’s what he did before.” Plus, some of his ideas about the past are distorted by various factors, or missing entirely (most often due to intoxicated blackouts and/or head trauma that would have had more disastrous effects on him if not for his mutant healing factor), or otherwise unreliable, so that’s a problem.

On the other hand, Lucy is future-oriented and totally jazzed up about trying new things and meeting new challenges head on and doing things!! also STUFF!!!!! there is an entire world full of THINGS AND STUFF AND BY GOD, LUCY IS GOING TO DO ALL OF IT OR AT LEAST AS MUCH OF IT AS SHE POSSIBLY CAN AND THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER SO HELP HER GOD OR JESUS OR SATAN OR WHOEVER EXCELSIOR YAH YAH YAH!!!!

……which is great and all, but she charges headlong into shit without an actual plan (seriously, most of her plans follow the good old, “step one: do this thing / step two: ………… / step three: PROFIT!” formula), and she’s a case of someone who is averse to learning from history at all because she doesn’t want to be shackled to it, but having no sense of history can be just as bad as being overly chained to it like Sebastian, and… well. You can try to outrun the past like she does, but it doesn’t tend to work out very well, and it’s not going to work for Lucy either

On the tentacle, we have Josie, who ostensibly has a balance between the past and the future orientations that we see in Seb and Lucy, because Josie’s primary focus tends to lie on the present, and at most, the very near future or very recent past

—but that’s not actually a balance like Josie wants to believe, because (among other things), it makes it very easy for Josie to ignore past lessons that are older than maybe the past two or three months; and it means that while Josie can see all kinds of potential consequences, their ability to predict what they could be gets a lot less reliable as you go further into the future; and it means that Josie has trouble actually putting together a longer-term plan, which is part of their problem with wanting to create positive change in the world but not knowing how

Josie also has a tougher road (imltho) to go on about finding a new and better balance here, because their focus on the present is something they learned in recovery, as part of learning about mindfulness, and it does help them sometimes — but on that personal level, Josie’s presentist focus can also hurt them because, even when they notice certain behaviors in themself that could get Bad For Them, they can also overlook some of these budding patterns because they’re not Obviously Bad Enough to feel like a major concern, or they look different from other past manifestations of Josie’s behavior patterns so Josie doesn’t think they need to worry about these behaviors, and so on

I’m mean to my characters and I’m going to make them work to be happy, but they will all be happy, eventually

Uh. Barring most of the villains, because letting the neo-fascist assholes win in the end would be a complete downer that would probably end up undermining a lot of the whole, “just because the world is a crapsack hellhole doesn’t mean that it has to stay that way or that we should give up on it” idea

Why You Love Them: Okay, so, this needs a bit of a story.

See, Josie is a retooled character from an old RP that I was in way, way back. I loved them a lot, and they weren’t entirely wrong for the game — they had a good run in their first incarnation — but they also weren’t entirely right for it, and they kind of floundered a bit because I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with them.

A large part of this was due to how Josie was a senior at their school and, because of the year they did over, they were itching to get out and go to college, and the closest they got to an actual arc was how they didn’t want to leave behind their ex-boyfriend turned best friend (who was in the class below them), but did want to go to college already and get to the rest of their life

and how they had some trouble with accepting said best friend’s new boyfriend when Josie really wanted to be compassionate, because New Boyfriend was mentally ill and dealing with some trauma and Josie sympathized and wanted him to be well because why the Hell would you wish for someone to be *UN*well jfc — but also had trouble with that because New Boyfriend was sometimes aware of how some of his actions affected other people, but sometimes not, but sometimes he was and did the stupid things anyway, and even in working on his problems, he made the mistake that a lot of people do where they focus on getting well as defined by and in order to please the people around them, rather than doing it for themselves

—all of which Josie was sympathetic to in a big way, having been in some similar places before themself…… but they had a hard time always being as compassionate as they wanted to be because New Boyfriend’s actions had been hurting Best Friend, and even knowing that this wasn’t entirely something that New Boyfriend could be entirely blamed for (for several reasons), Josie still had a hard time trying to overlook the, “this lovable weirdo is my friend, my best friend, and even though we aren’t together anymore, I love him, and you hurt him, so yeah, I’m kinda mad at you for that” thing

And this all goes back to why I love Josie because one thing that they’ve kept in a big way, in getting retooled and updated and worked into my dumb little stories about neurodivergent and/or mentally ill LGBTQ mutant superheroes (and Pete, who is not actually a mutant but is neurodivergent, gay, an abuse survivor, and a superhero and I will fight anyone who says otherwise)

(I mean, ffs. Batman doesn’t have any mutant superpowers, and Iron Man wouldn’t have any actual superpowers without his ridiculous power-armor and, depending on the continuities, his arc reactors. So, no, I don’t think that Pete needs to have literal superpowers to count as a superhero — but that’s beside the point and to be fair, I will admit to being biased because I love Pete more than George RR Martin loves Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister)

Anyway. As I was saying.

One thing that Josie has kept in a big way is that ongoing fight with themself over two equally powerful impulses or reactions to things or desires — like their, “I want affections and I want to be around people…… okay no this is overwhelming and I don’t actually like these people fuck this I want to be alone…… oh but being alone sucks and now I’m lonely, I want to be where the people are, let’s go to the movies…… oh my god why did we go see the new Star Wars while it’s still a relatively recent release, I barely remember anything about the actual movie, I was too overwhelmed by the feelings of everyone else in that completely packed theatre… and so on” relationship with other people and being around them or not

Or like their big struggle in the first book of wanting to help people and create positive change in the world, but not being able to do too terribly much on their own for a lot of reasons (some of which are about Josie personally, and some of which are about the whole Lone Superhero thing be a lot of hot fucking nonsense that is fundamentally unsustainable), but not having an official team to belong to because although they work for S.T.R.O.M.A., they don’t like S.T.R.O.M.A., and while they are part of the extended Wardens family, they’re not a fully-fledged Warden and so much of the Wardens’ everything is based around Yael and Elizabeth’s school, so being one and not being up in Poughkeepsie would be weird and mean you end up missing out on a lot and, in Josie’s case, end up feeling like an outsider even when you’re surrounded by people who, for the most part, love you and accept you exactly as you are, but also not entirely doing everything they can to find a team because, in fairness, it can be really difficult to do that even if you don’t work for the U.S. government……

Basically, I love Josie because I love making my characters deal with internal conflict, and while all of them have a lot of it, I’m really fond of Josie’s particular brand of, “self-reflective, doing things but not things that add up to bigger things in the ways that Josie wants, trying to remedy that but it’s hard, not sure what to do or if going after these new possibilities and new ideas will make things worse, getting fed up with themself and needing to try something, but but but five million different elements all converging on each other but but but” internal conflict

And I’m really fond of it in Josie’s case because Josie is savvy enough to know that they can’t fall into the same, “do fuck-all nothing about anything until the last possible minute” trap, but their frustration is less about, “I can’t do anything” and more about, “but what do the things that I do actually mean, who am I helping, am I actually helping them or not, how can I do things that create more significant positive changes or is there a way to do that at all”

And, well. There is, Josie, but it requires you to trust some new people, bond with some new people, build relationships with them and work on maintaining said relationships, find strength in numbers, and learn more about loving and letting people love you back because one of your biggest problems in your previous relationships has been that you don’t open up — not, “you open up slowly” but, “you don’t open up with most people, period, despite knowing that this is not a sustainable way of doing things” — so yeah I’d say you need to learn about that, and learn to stop being such a lone wolf because do you know what generally happens to lone wolves? Either they find a pack somehow, or they die (without making any kind of positive changes in the world around them, relative to the size and interests of, y’know, wolves).

……Because I’m a lonely and bitter and it makes my half-dead little heart happy to make my characters find more strength together than they do apart and learn to love and be loved in return without it coming off as one-sided, like it can do in a lot of takes on that trope that are aimed at children, because…… uh, last I checked, the whole point of a relationship is that it is not exclusively about one person’s needs or desires???

Also, Josie is a compassionate but grumpy grown up goth kid who is trying to be a good person, and doing a better job than a lot of other characters, but definitely has a problem with their judgmental tendencies and how they sometimes externalize them and get super-judgmental of others, because on some level, their mind is like, “fuck, can i get a break from always punishing myself over here, jfc” and I don’t know, it’s almost 4AM and I have lost track of how long I’ve been writing this

Josie’s a nerd and a cat who can’t make up their mind about whether they want to be outside chasing butterflies or inside sitting on your keyboard so that you have to pay attention to them and not your computer and idk, I love them, the end

(except for the footnotes oops)

*: Special Taskforce for the Regulation and Oversight of Metahuman Affairs — or in plain-speak, the FBI’s wing of people who get involved in all of the shiny, extralegal superpowered mutant hijinks.

They have a pretty good working relationship with their counterparts at the Department of Health and Human Services (who actually end up handling most mutant affairs, because this world treats the question of super-powered mutant licensing as more equivalent to getting a driver’s license, and frankly, most mutants in the U.S. just want to go about their lives in peace — like, go to college, get a job, go on dates, come home and watch the Daily Show, and not be bothered about or make trouble for anyone else with the weird superpowers that most of them did not want or ask for — so there’s rarely any actual reason for the FBI to go stick their noses into anything, and there are plenty of cases where they get called in, only to find that they aren’t actually needed after all), but… yeah.

S.T.R.O.M.A. is a faction of people who exist. Josie works for them, for all they would really rather not. Unfortunately for Josie, particularly powerful metahumans tend to wind up on a lot of S.T.R.O.M.A. watch-lists, and they are more likely to do so when they have powers that the people at the FBI consider particularly useful or desirable — for example, telepathy and hyper-empathy, in Josie’s case. For the most part, these watch-lists don’t actually amount to anything because they don’t end up being relevant to most of the cases that S.T.R.O.M.A. has to deal with.

—but then you can have situations like Josie’s, where they were one of many mutants who got in a brief spot of trouble over genuine confusion surrounding a new bill that had just gone through Congress and revised some of the definitions of and privileges associated with/afforded to people at the different levels of metahuman licenses. (Since this is still America and we’re still talking about the FBI, there are also plenty of even worse potential outcomes for people who end up on their miscellaneous mutant watchlists — which is one of the big points that gets brought up by people who either want to reform or do away with the whole metahuman licensing thing — but in fairness to most people, they don’t know the full specifics.)

Anyway, Josie got in trouble because they are an actual therapist and, although they prefer not to use their powers with clients and extensively brief anyone who asks about trying that approach (about the potential benefits vs. potential risks, all the drawbacks, all the potential unintended consequences, etc.) while offering them plenty of chances to change their mind and go, “okay, let’s not do this,” they do still let their clients know that they’re a telepath/empath and that they can use their powers in a therapeutic context but it’s not the best thing to try as a first approach

Which is all great, except that Josie had been assured that they wouldn’t need to get a different kind of license to continue doing this, after that bill passed… except that they did. And this probably would’ve continued with no actual interference from anybody because Josie is hyper-responsible about using their powers with clients, about keeping up on all of the latest research and debates about therapeutic uses for psychic abilities and the ethical issues surrounding this, and so on…… except that one of their clients was a teenager who needed parental consent to go through with this, and one of their parents worked for S.T.R.O.M.A.

Relevant piece of context: Josie was absolutely not the only mutant who’d had some confusion over the revised licensing scheme. Josie wasn’t even the only mutant in the greater Baltimore area who had similar confusion on this issue.

But Josie was one of the only ones who was already on S.T.R.O.M.A.’s radar when they got in trouble, partly by virtue of being a “telempath,” partly by virtue of having trained with Dr. Elizabeth Woodham (who is: one of the most powerful telepaths in the entire world; a respected professor, activist, and philanthropist; one of the first mutants in the States to register for one of the early, “superhero licenses” [not their official name, but that’s the gist of what they are]; and with her wife, Dr. Yael Lehrer, one of the co-founders of the Wardens and co-headmistresses of one of the most respected schools for mutants in North America), and partly by virtue of having a lot of (mostly untapped) potential power.

And, see, one of S.T.R.O.M.A.’s problems is that it is perpetually under-staffed, in all areas but especially in terms of mutants who work for them, and moreover, mutants who will actually do fieldwork (like, Pete’s cousin Emerson is a mutant and he does work for S.T.R.O.M.A., but he’s lower on the powers scale than most of their employees who do active fieldwork, and he has no desire to do fieldwork when he could do lab-work instead). There are a lot of reasons for this problem of staffing, but one of the more noticeable end-results is that S.T.R.O.M.A. can be somewhat unethical in some of their recruitment bids. Like, yes, sometimes, you just get a visit from Some Guy Who Is Totally Not Nick Fury, who offers you a chance to be a part of something bigger than yourself and to use your abilities to help people

Other times, you get treated to a few hours of what S.T.R.O.M.A. sees and treats as the interview portion of applying for a Very Important Position somewhere, except that they don’t tell you that this is what they’re doing and they use “interview” (read: interrogation) techniques that people in law enforcement usually save for wrangling confessions out of suspects.

It will not look like it, but they are actually trying to figure out some specific things about you, including but not limited to: how you handle high-stress and high-pressure situations (like, for example, being accused of using your powers for any extralegal vigilantism, and maybe knowing things about [the biggest mutant-related news of the day] that they don’t; being threatened with a trip to one of the U.S. prisons designed to hold mutants; etc.); various details about your backstory and who you are as a person and what your biggest Deals are (i.e., getting you to help them run a damn background check on yourself); and how in control of your powers you are (since they trust the DHHS evaluations, but prefer to supplement them with firsthand evidence).

Then, once they’ve figured out what they want to know, you might very well be offered something to the tune of, “Alright, this is your first offense, and based on your dossier and this interview, we think that you could be an asset to S.T.R.O.M.A., if you wanted. If you like the sound of working for us, at least as an analyst or consultant if not a fully-fledged special agent, then we can make all of this legal trouble just go away. If you don’t like the sound of that, then……… well… *deliberately trails off to let you draw your own conclusions while still staying within the letter of the law, because hey, they didn’t actually tell you that you’d for sure end up getting prosecuted and going to prison*”

So…… yeah. S.T.R.O.M.A. and Ethics are not always on speaking terms.

Add this recruitment story to Josie’s frustrations with how metahuman employees at S.T.R.O.M.A. tend to get treated — e.g., they, themself, are often trotted out to go liaise with different media outlets as a public face of Mutants Who Work Here, Look We’re Trying Our Best So You Should All Just Totally Cooperate With Us, but they’re discouraged from voicing any of their own opinions and advised to just stick to these Bureau-approved talking points — and at having to be closeted and fairly masc-presenting at work because S.T.R.O.M.A. thinks they’re a cis man, and…… yeah, uh.

“Josie would really, really rather not work here” is an understatement af… but they continue working here anyway because: 1. as a consultant, they can still usually balance things enough to keep working as a therapist;

and 2. Josie wants so badly to help people, and for all S.T.R.O.M.A. is highly unethical (sometimes) and part of the goddamn FBI, most of the people who work there also want to help people and use their work to create positive changes in the world — and it’s not an unfair observation that, on their own, there really isn’t much that Josie can do (because the idea of the solo superhero who works alone… isn’t sustainable, like??

Aside from the political and ideological issues with that whole aspect of superhero mythology, it’s not actually feasible for one person, working on their own, to create any positive change. It would be massively unhealthy for them, there’s only so much they can do as one person, there are no actual safeguards in place if they ever get corrupted, and as multiple deconstructions of the genre have shown, it’s really easy for a classic lone vigilante model superhero to slide into a mindset like Rorschach’s — which is full of hypocrisy, double standards, misogyny and homophobia and ableism, and total moral absolutism that simultaneously allows no room for compassion and keeps Rorschach from being able to appreciate the big picture outside of his little myopic Objectivst bubble — or Frank Miller!Batman, who is often only a step or two off from actual fascism, but we probably won’t call it that because he’s wearing the Batman suit).

At this point, Josie has even had it all but confirmed that the agents who came to recruit them definitely “avoided certain truths to manipulate them” on purpose, so they’re reasonably certain that they could probably leave S.T.R.O.M.A without having their previous step out of bounds dredged up and handed to a D.A. who’d be pressured to prosecute them for it…… but they want to help people, and S.T.R.O.M.A. is one of the only options that they can currently see where they get to help anyone.

So, here they are. Working in a position that they’re not a fan of, looking at the motivational posters of gothed out kittens that one of their best friends drew for them, and trying to take, “hang in there!” kitty’s advice and tough it out at S.T.R.O.M.A. for the sake of doing some good in the world.

**: This mostly happens if Josie doesn’t have the energy enough or keep focus enough to keep their mental walls up — which they are usually very diligent about because on one hand, hearing other people’s thoughts kind of sucks actually (Josie would definitely agree with the sentiment that, a lot of the time, being a telepath is like having a youtube comments section screaming at you in your head)

—and on the other, um, hello, telepathy can, in the wrong hands, become a walking violation of civil liberties. Like, if you ask Josie, telepathy has a lot in common with wiretapping, though they consider it potentially even more dangerous than that, because it’s harder to prove that telepathy has been involved in something, since:

1. yes, the traces of telepathy can show up on a CAT scan or an MRI of the brain, but you’d need a neurologist who is well-trained, very attentive, and up to date on as much of the current research into telepathy as possible — or hey, a team of neurologists might not be a bad idea, if you can get them all, because one neurologist might miss something

—but otoh, the traces of telepathy can sometimes also be mistaken as signs of something else, especially if someone is neurodivergent and/or mentally ill, has suffered any serious and/or recent head injuries, has a history of substance abuse, is sleep-deprived at the time of the tests, may actually have something else going on in their brain in addition to the traces of telepathy

Seriously, just about anything that affects the brain can make it harder to tell whether or not someone’s been hit with telepathy

Plus: telepathic abilities are sort of mid-level common among mutants, and some mutants use them without even realizing it because their powers haven’t manifested in ways that are for sure Outside Three Standard Deviations From The Non-Mutant Human Mean, so some minor telepathic scarring is common, even in people who haven’t been hit by something as awful as, say, memory modification, or having someone go in and pick around in their brain like they’re flipping through an issue of Us Weekly

—and without a keen, well-trained eye, it can be really hard to tell those types of telepathic scarring apart

2. some of the traces of telepathy are more subjective, and while they might show up on a brain scan, the best evidence of them will come from the people who’ve been hit with the telepathic whatever

—but that’s going to be a problem because, in a lot of cases, they won’t have any memory of it, or they’ll have a false memory of it, and there’s no guarantee that further telepathic probing will be able to help here, and it could just make things worse. Plus, there’s no guarantee that the people who’ve been hit will actually be aware that what they’re experiencing is related to telepathy.

This is especially true with experienced, exceptionally powerful, and/or highly meticulous telepaths, because some of them can dick around in people’s heads and leave barely any trace that they were there

Like, for an example of what a more subjective trace might look like: Conrad is a telepath, and unlike Josie, he doesn’t really care about ethics or the rights of most other people. About ten years before the story actually starts, he took an interest in his new brother-in-law’s youngest brother (Sebastian), because he could sense something in Seb — he didn’t know what it was, exactly, but it was definitely a something — that made him go, “huh, maybe this emotionally troubled nearly twenty-year-old boy is also a mutant”

(I mean, he’s not wrong. And the something that he got a sense of back then is the part of Seb that he’s eventually going to call, “La Bête,” because if he’s going to go for the superhero thing and need a codename, then, “Gévaudan” makes sense to him because his family is insistently French [despite not having lived in France since about 1781, apart from one ancestral namesake of Seb’s who stayed in Paris for their Revolution (and Severin Sebastien Moncrieff was a confirmed bachelor, so he left behind a partner but no heirs), well before La Bête du Gévaudan was a Thing, and despite not being from the region of France where that happened] and hey, he can apparently turn into a giant wolf-man, now

—and if he’s calling himself, “Gévaudan,” then, “La Bête” is just thematically consistent. But that’s beside the point.)

Anyway: Conrad wasn’t new to his powers ten years ago, but he was much more reckless with them — especially when he believed that he was absolutely right and would stop at nothing to prove it — and he had less finesse in using them.

So, he left behind plenty of traces when he decided to use his little sister’s wedding reception as a chance to go telepathically play around with Seb, trying to either figure out if his new brother-in-law’s little brother actually was a mutant, or maybe triggering his powers into fully manifesting (plus plying him with alcohol and adding rohypnol to the mix based on the notion that either it wouldn’t affect Seb because he’s a mutant, or if not that, then it’d trigger his abilities into manifesting).

The underlying logic of the rohypnol idea was actually not wrong, because toxin filtering is one of the more common mutant abilities you find in the States (and it happens to be one that Seb has), and some mutants have had their powers manifest in response to poisoning, drugging, exposure to carbon monoxide or other toxic fumes, and even being given antibiotics or certain medications

The idea was still morally wrong and ethically skeevy, but the mutant-related logic actually did work. Where Conrad went wrong on that count was that he overly simplified the situation, only looked for two potential reactions, and didn’t know what to make of how Seb was affected by the rohypnol but not nearly as badly as he should’ve been, so he went, “Was he affected or not?? I don’t know????”

[Here is where I cut a whole big tangent explaining that whole story, but it got way, way off the point, so.]

Anyway, the gist of the story is that Conrad is the only person who consciously remembers everything that happened, since most of the people who cared about it were not present for the encounter itself, and Conrad screwed around with Seb’s memories, both telepathically and not.

Like, Seb has more memories of it than he would if he weren’t a mutant, considering that he got dosed with rohypnol, but he also has false memories about some of what happened, and Conrad repressed Seb’s memories of certain events (like how many times he tried to break away from Conrad, or turn down the offer of another drink, because he’d promised his big brother that he wouldn’t get drunk and make a scene at Max’s wedding or the reception, and it was important to him to honor that promise)

Fortunately for Conrad, Seb is not one of the mutants who has an increased resistance to psychic attacks — largely because, contrary to what Conrad thought until about two years before the story starts, someone’s ability to resist to psychic attacks has nothing to do with whether or not they’re a mutant (aside from some special cases where someone has a resistance to any psychic attacks that falls outside three standard deviations of the non-mutant human mean)

—so, despite the feelings he sometimes gets that something about those memories might be wrong, Seb totally believes that they’re real and he doesn’t notice any of the incongruities unless someone points them out, which almost no one has any reason to do because there isn’t usually a reason for Seb to talk at length about the details of this particular incident that happened almost ten years ago

(there would be, if he ever brought it up in therapy or at AA and/or NA, or dwelled on it when he did, but that has yet to actually happen)

Unfortunately for Conrad, he did a sloppy job of this, and while it would be hard for a neurologist to tell the physical signs of his telepathic probing apart from the other brain damage that Seb’s accrued, the hardest thing for most other telepaths would be trying to find the right memories. The crap-shoot nature of telepathically digging through someone else’s mind is one of the many reasons why Josie doesn’t like using their powers as a first approach in therapy, because you can never guarantee with any reliable certainty that you’ll get at the parts of someone’s mind that you want

—but if someone did get to Seb’s memories of this incident, it would be really obvious to them that they’ve been modified. Like, images might be blurred around the edges, it might glitch like a video or audio track that’s skipping, the voices might get distorted, the colors might look wonky, and so on. Prodding a bit more would also be able to undo Conrad’s memory-blocks without doing too much damage to Seb’s brain (not so much on an emotional and psychological level, but the damage there would be more like the painful truth that hurts now but leads to something better)

Anyway, it’s much harder to get proof of this nature when you’re dealing with more skillful, more attentive, more powerful, etc. telepaths, because they aren’t as messy as Conrad was with Seb

and 3. Wiretapping operations usually involve more people, which doesn’t make them ethical or necessarily justified, but it does mean that they’re easier to find evidence of because there are more folks who can spill the beans and point you to it. Telepathy only needs two people to happen, and one may not even be aware of what’s going on, depending on how sensitive they are and whether or not they’re dealing with an ethical telepath

For example: while not metahuman levels of resistant to psychic attacks, Pete is exceptionally sensitive to them and he’s naturally better at resisting them than some people, so if someone wanted to paw through his mind, he has a better chance of recognizing that he’s being telepathically invaded and getting them out

Sebastian, on the other hand, is Bad at recognizing and resisting psychic probing. Unethical telepaths have an easier time of getting through him because at his best, if he isn’t told in advance, then he feels ill at ease, inexplicably anxious (not that it means much, because he tends to attribute that to his shitty mental health), kind of nauseated, and maybe like he’s being spied on. At worst, he doesn’t even notice.

So, basically, Josie considers it a moral and ethical responsibility on their part to do everything they can to not inadvertently spy on people, because there is already so much about telepathy that can go really bad and poses a lot of ethical problems — but they are only human, and there are a lot of ways for someone’s mental walls to come down or reasons why they would.

Letting their empathic walls down usually makes it easier for Josie to focus on keeping up the telepathic walls, since the empathic ones are a lot harder for them to keep up, but it’s only a temporary thing because if Josie takes those walls down, they open themself up to a looooooot of potential overwhelm from outside influence, and there’s always the option to find a balance between the empathic walls and telepathic ones, but sometimes, it’s easier said than done.

Josie is usually too hard on themself for it when any slip-ups on their part happen, even knowing that every other telepath and every other empath has moments like this and even if they got too overwhelmed to actually remember anything and/or heard nothing.

It’s such a big deal to them because the potential for psychic abilities to violate other people — and especially the potential to manipulate people and compromise or outright remove their agency — is something that Josie never wanted. They went into counseling as a profession, after their original plan of going into fashion went up in smoke, but part of it, for them, has always been about trying to help people get their lives back, or manage them better, and so on. Granted, they knew about their telepathic and empathic abilities before they officially went into therapeutic practice, but that, for Josie, was part of how they developed their approach to being a therapist.

Furthermore, on a more personal and less professional note, Josie never wanted mutant superpowers to begin with. After having their telepathy and empathy first manifest in full, they might’ve done plenty of things that they normally wouldn’t even consider, if they thought it could take their powers away.

Partly, that was because their powers manifested toward the end of a really bad mental health downswing that ended in Josie going back to an inpatient treatment center for their eating disorder. Any of these elements on their own would’ve been bad enough, but having them all come down on them at once was Hell for Josie, and worse, trying to get well while you are in an inpatient center and can feel everyone else’s feelings, hear a lot of their thoughts, and are currently having trouble sorting out which parts are your own feelings, which parts are coming from your eating disorder, and which parts are coming from everyone else (not least because you don’t have any proof that you are feeling things or hearing thoughts that are coming from other people).

Josie eventually got help for that part because one of the therapists at the center was a metahuman and had gone to the Woodham and Lehrer School before deciding that she didn’t particularly want to be a superhero in the traditional sense. She reached out to her old teachers, and Josie got help for that while doing more intensive outpatient treatment until they got better at tuning out other people’s thoughts and feelings.

But there’s a lingering problem here that goes back to the feelings that underlie Josie’s ED. When they are at their absolute worst, Josie can be an absolute control freak, and they tend to turn it inward more than outward because they realize that taking it out on other people isn’t fair and they don’t feel good about it. Additionally, feeling other people’s feelings as intensely as they do gives Josie an additional incentive not to take their issues with control out on other people (and did even before their powers fully manifested, because they’ve always been pretty sensitive). On some level, Josie realizes that they can’t control things like how people react to them, whether or not bad things happen to good people, and so on, but that doesn’t always help because it can lead to them feeling even more of a need to crack down on controlling themself.

Having psychic powers becomes problematic for them in two big ways, here:

1. It’s unfortunately very easy for Josie to slip into overly self-punishing thought patterns if they feel like they aren’t as in control of their abilities as they, “should” be — which happens very easily because Josie’s standards for themself aren’t always realistic, and they usually aren’t the best judge of whether or not they’re being fair to themself.

It’s even more noticeable, for them, when they try to do more complex and demanding things with their powers.

This was one of the big reasons why they’ve stayed on good terms with their friends and mentors at the Lehrer and Woodham School, and among Yael and Elizabeth’s Wardens, but consistently rejected any invites to become a Warden (and then regretted that when S.T.R.O.M.A. got them instead, since Josie would much rather be one of the Wardens than working for the FBI).

Basically, Josie trusted Elizabeth’s guidance, and they really, really wanted to trust Elizabeth’s faith in them to handle their full power responsibly…… but it was hard to believe that when they already didn’t feel like they controlled their powers as much as they, “should” have been doing, and Elizabeth wanted to push them further.

For Josie, it felt like the choice came down to, “be a superhero and do more cool superhero things, at the expense of my own well-being, which means I eventually won’t be able to help anyone and could hurt more people than I help”

or, “quietly go back to training for an entirely different career than I expected, keep in touch with Elizabeth and work on honing my abilities, and maybe not get to help people in as big a way as members of the Wardens get to do, but at least, as a therapist, I will still have the ability to help people and will probably be less likely to screw that up by virtue of losing my control over my powers”

(To her credit, Elizabeth was disheartened by this, because she believes in all of her students and wants them to believe in themselves, and really wanted Josie on her team — but she’s learned that the superhero life isn’t for everybody, and that it’s not her job, as a teacher and mentor, to tell people what they should do; it’s her job to show them new approaches, teach them how to learn, help them find what paths and methods work best for them, etc.

So, disheartening as it was, she’s been nothing but supportive about Josie’s choice not to be a Warden, and compassionate about how much Josie doesn’t like working for the FBI — and without trying to turn it into some kind of, “this could be super-beneficial for us, if Josie wanted to give us any advance warning about S.T.R.O.M.A. business that might negatively affect us here” thing like Yael)

(To her credit, Yael really does believe that she’s helping when she says things like that, because she is so fundamentally a doer, rather than a thinker, feeler, planner, or anything else. She is absolutely capable of all of those things, but she has an approach to life and problems that goes, “Okay, this is a Thing and it’s a setback, but what can we do about it, how can we use this to build something even better”

—so her idea of how to help one of her and Elizabeth’s students and comrades with an unexpected and unwanted “recruitment” to S.T.R.O.M.A.… is going, “But look, see, we can still potentially make something good out of this, and just because a government agency snatched you up doesn’t mean that you have to forget your own values or let them control you, this can be a good thing if you take advantage of the right pieces and opportunities”

—for a moment of MBTI nerdery: Yael is an ENTJ (***) vs. Josie’s INFJ (***), so while she has Extroverted Thinking (Te) for a dominant cognitive function and primarily approaches the world based on how to get results, Josie’s dominant function is Introverted iNtuition (Ni), and while they have an orientation toward the future that appreciates where Yael is coming from with her drive to get results, Josie’s primary approach to the world looks less at objective things and objective results, more at patterns and theories and trying to find the, “higher purpose” or, “deeper reason” behind how stuff happens

Which, oddly enough, is part of why Josie and Yael get on so well. They can butt heads with each other, sometimes, but at the end of the day, they complement each other really well because both of them have vision and the drive to act on it, but Yael is better at actually getting shit done, and Josie is better at checking things through the processes of making them happen, finding potential problems that Yael may not have seen coming and trying to work addressing them into the fabric of her plans.

Their Feeling functions also complement each other really well: Josie is a high Feeler, with Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as their auxiliary function, which keeps them more attuned to the state of the group and all the people in it, while Yael has a very good relationship with her inferior Fi (Introverted Feeling), which enables her to better evaluate how their actions and plans are helping or hurting their causes, where their ideals fit into everything, and so on.

So, basically, Yael is better at making sure that they all remember who they are and what they stand for, both individually and as parts of the whole, while Josie is better at attending to people’s emotional needs and keeping the whole intact by caring for the individual members of it.

And because they both respect and admire each other, neither of them devalues the other’s contributions to anything — and it doesn’t matter to Yael that Josie has a badge and would have an easier time getting a gun if they weren’t really uneasy about guns; Josie’s a mutant, they’ve been one of her students, and they care about helping other mutants, so officially being part of S.T.R.O.M.A. doesn’t mean that they aren’t part of Yael’s (larger, mutant) family

—which all means a lot to Josie because, in a lot of ways, they still haven’t entirely outgrown their early experiences of being one of the weird art freaks at school (which, even for someone who wound up being part of a subculture/clique that’s all about going, “fuck you, I’m gonna do my thing and you can love it or shove it,” gave Josie some trouble because, goth of not, they’re sensitive), and they have a huge tendency to be overly harsh with themself and don’t always love themself very much, so this whole unconditional acceptance thing is a Big Deal to them

But I digress.

2. Having psychic powers also gets Problematic for Josie because, in their mind, they’ve spent so much of their life fighting their eating disorder and their overall mental health to keep control of their life, and it’s difficult, periodically degrading, often horrific, and something that they wouldn’t wish on anybody, period…… so having the power to take away someone’s ability to control their own mind? Having the power to violate someone’s agency, potentially with more or less complete impunity? That’s horrifying, and Josie doesn’t want it

One of the easiest ways to make Josie go off the handle at you is to dismiss how hard it is for them to maintain any sense of composure. Like, okay, they can handle people teasing them about some of their self-care habits because humor is how a lot of people come to be comfortable with and accept things they don’t understand at first, and how a lot of people show that they’re comfortable with you and like you.

But if you act like Josie doesn’t have to work, impossibly hard and daily, on their own well-being, because if they don’t, then they could lose control of psychic abilities and this would be Really Fucking Terrible for everyone? ……Uh.

Just don’t do that. It’s not pretty, it’s not fun, it’s mean and please, just don’t do it.

An even easier way to make Josie snap at you is to play what they call, “the Aslan card” — which means telling them that the proof that they can handle the responsibility of psychic powers, is their own fear that maybe they can’t, their awareness of and attentiveness to the ethical and moral problems attached to them having psychic powers, the fact that they’d rather not have psychic powers in the first place because it can — and often does — feel like these powers and their attendant responsibilities are too big and too potentially Terrible Forever, For Everyone

Which Josie calls, “the Aslan card” because, uh. The first time they heard it was from Elizabeth (whose heart was in the right place in saying this, but she didn’t think about how it might end up sounding to Josie), and the first thing Josie was reminded of was Aslan telling Prince Caspian that he’s ready to become the King because he doesn’t think he’s ready

It’s just…… Josie understands where this idea is coming from, and they appreciate the underlying sentiment

But, to them, it always sounds more like, “why are you upset about how hard this is for you, at least it’s happening to you and not someone who doesn’t give a fuck about ethics or how they treat other people, quit whinging and cheer the fuck up”

Which…… yes, Josie knows that this isn’t what most people mean, but it’s still pretty upsetting for them to hear because of how much it reminds them of things that they’ve told themself so many times, when they’ve been at their worst, in terms of their mental health and emotional well-being — especially the things like, “My eating disorder isn’t bad because it’s only hurting me, not anyone else, and it’s only hurting me because I’m weak”

—and yeah, okay, Josie appreciates that you’re trying to help, but they already have enough work to do on keeping themself from slipping back into the comfort of those thought patterns, so if it’s all the same, can you maybe find a different way of trying to comfort them or praise them or whatever? Please?

Thank you, they’d like that

[bywordofaphrodite]

Book Reviews 9&10: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K Rowling & Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

This review’s theme is *drum roll* books I was banned from as a child! Audience age: age 9 and up for reading level… as for content, that will vary between parents !

So to shake things up for my final reviews, rather than reviewing books I grew up with, I am discussing two books that were banned in my household, my church and my school. Triple threat! Good for them. To be transparent, I have not read Harry Potter before at all. I even bought one of the books a couple of years ago and still haven’t made it round to reading yet. However, I have seen all the movies and I love them very much. More than that, I’ve always loved the lore surrounding the series; I think fans have made the legacy more interesting than the movies in adapting the lore to different fanfictions, which I’m sure some people will agree with and others will not. With many people I meet around my age, it is fairly common for me to be asked what my Hogwarts house is (Slytherin, in case you’re curious), and even people I wouldn’t expect to be all that interested will know their house.

As for Twilight, I actually did read these in year 9 in school, and I snuck the movies into my house too (I still have PTSD from my mother bursting into my room and catching me- don’t worry she’s not a crazy religious person anymore. She even watched Twilight for the first time in last year’s lockdown lmao). My friendship groups reference Twilight memes multiple times a day and I even gifted my best friend a poorly printed ‘BWTHHYBL’ (‘Bella where the hell have you been loca?’- God, Jacob, why did you say this) on a piece of paper and stuffed it into a small frame for her birthday present a few weeks ago… which she keeps beside her desk, just as I intended… so I think it’s safe to say that Twilight has not exactly faded into the background of pop culture just yet, even though the hype surrounding the series began well over ten years ago.

Nostalgic review

Rating: ★★★ (for Twilight only)

Book wise, I can’t actually write my old opinions of Harry Potter because I grew up in a weirdo Catholic cult that quite seriously believed J.K Rowling’s works to be articulated by the devil’s own hand (I’m sure Rowling is involved with the devil for other reasons, but that would be due to her obsessive transphobia not her writing). Using my imagination and hypothesising a little here, I’m going to assume that had I been allowed to read the books I would have loved them. Magic books and boarding school stories were a great love of mine, after all.

Now, for Twilight. I read this series just once, about nine years ago, and while I recall thinking that Meyer was not a very good writer I do know I was hooked on the storyline. I don’t know what she laced that series with but it was addictive for no good reason, especially given how many weird racial stereotypes were in there, in addition to her Mormon ideals that permeate Bella’s every move. Whatever it is, I know I ate it all up even with the awareness that it was not good (no, I don’t mean morally due to religion, I just mean it was compelling garbage).

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Review

Post-read: ★★★★

Synopsis: On his 11th birthday, Harry Potter discovers that he is the orphaned son of two powerful wizards and the survivor of an attack by the evil, most powerful wizard to have ever lived, Voldemort. He is whisked away to the wizards’ school Hogwarts, where he studies and hones his powers, and eventually comes face-to-face with the enemy everyone believed to be dead.

I’ve seen plenty of criticism of Rowling’s writing problems, many of which I absolutely agree with. The writing is not the best, and this article actually dissects Rowling’s patterns and explains how she fails as a writer. Despite this, for the first book of a series that many young children read, I don’t think it is all that bad. My younger siblings struggle to read well, but I’ve begun reading this book to them for bedtime and they say it’s ‘good for learning’, so that’s something I’ve taken into consideration while thinking over this.

In terms of setting and place, Rowling did a good job of transporting me to the various locations in the novel. Part of the charm of Hogwarts is experiencing the rainy weather, the crackle of the fireplaces and the eeriness of sneaking about a giant castle in the dead of night just like the characters. It felt very vivid to me, and while that may be in part due to my having the film scenes to envision while reading, I believe Rowling did well. Harry’s first encounter with the Weasley family and the house-sorting scenes are enjoyable and lovely beginnings to Harry’s found family after a dreadful upbringing in the Dursley home.

Harry Potter is a very clear example of the Hero’s Journey literary route, which makes the storyline very easy to follow; the heroes and villains are very distinct, there are clear goals, and the main characters have genuine and natural character development as the story goes on. The adventures to the Forbidden Forest and other off-limits areas of Hogwarts are all the right amount of engaging and spooky. The opening chapter does have me on the fence still in regards to its length and basis for introduction. Upon first reading it, I found it a bit strange that it’s written from the Dursleys’ point of view, as this awful couple may have adopted Harry, but they are simply not the Main Characters. The conversation between Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall goes on for a longer time than I would think necessary. A brief analysis of this scene is actually available on the Pottermore website, and it explains some of the clever details written in. Regardless, the film’s choice to shift the immediate focus to Harry was a better choice in my opinion.

Something that became a source of amusement to me while reading was the obvious hate every house has for Slytherin, and I know that’s because they contain most of the ‘bad’ characters, but having read so much fanfiction from other fandoms just using the house characteristics and lore meant I’d never read so much consistent Slytherin-hate before. ‘Stinking Slytherin’ Harry says- well, he’ll be maddened to know half the internet bases half their personalities around being Slytherin. Yes, this is a call out, for myself included.

Characters who aged well: good or bad, the characters in Harry Potter are entertaining, even as an adult, the children’s antics and developing friendships are entertaining and heart-warming as they become closer. Voldemort is a solid villain, and the Dursleys and Malfoys are well-written antagonists; children tend to adopt their parents’ values for better or worse, and Draco and Dudley are perfect examples of the way young people turn out when raised within a vicious cycle.

Characters who aged badly: Severus Snape with his weird grudge against Harry. I don’t care about your history with his parents, Harry is a child, and you are an adult school teacher. Get a grip, sir.

It would be remiss for me to ignore the strong controversy surrounding J.K Rowling herself, though it isn’t the focus of this review. Strongly criticised for lack of representation for both POC and LGBT+ readers, Rowling has constantly made alterations in recent years, claiming certain characters to be something they were never written to be; most notably, Albus Dumbledore being announced as gay but with no scene in the books nor the films alluding to it. I would also add in that while Hermione’s character is great for exploring an ‘outsider’s’ perspective (the daughter of two muggles in the wizarding world), she also does take the role of the ‘bossy girl’ in a male-dominated book series. I’ll link an article here that discusses some of the gender roles, sexism and other concerns across the series.

Favourite scene/quote: “‘There are all kinds of courage,’ said Dumbledore, smiling. ‘It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends’.”

A wonderful piece of advice for young kids! It’s something a lot of people don’t learn until they’re older- how important it is to stand your ground no matter who you’re up against, and that sometimes the people you like and admire aren’t always in the right.

As for my favourite scene, that would have to be when Neville stands up to Draco! Harry tells Neville he is ‘worth twelve of Malfoy’, and Neville, red-faced and timid, stammers the words back to Draco later. Neville is my favourite character (he’s just so cute I love him) and I was so proud when he joined Ron to fight against the Slytherin bullies.

Twilight Review

Post-read: ★★

Synopsis: awkward teenager Bella Swan moves to the tiny town of Forks where she meets mysterious classmate Edward from the strange Cullen family and becomes determined to find out more about them.

Re-reading Twilight I was made aware of two things. First, that the writing is just as bad as I remembered it to be, and second, that despite knowing how ridiculous it is, I still love it.

I was still invested in what happens. The romance, the drama, the detective work leading up to Bella’s confirmation of supernatural existence- all of it. As this article acknowledges, much of the appeal of Twilight is its bad writing: the sentence structure is basic and easy to binge-read, making it perfect material for a young audience to enjoy, especially for kids who might not normally pick up a book in the first place. There is also not much to worry about in terms of applying solid concentration, because many scenes border on being simply filler content.

For all of its ease, I still found myself plagued by its many problems the entire read, so at best I would rate it two and a half stars. Sorry, Meyer.

Something I thought about more extensively while reading was that Meyer essentially took away any real ‘flaws’ of vampirism with her reworking their existence. Vampires are evil and eat humans? Solved! The ‘good’ vampires are ‘vegetarian’, eating only animals. Vampires can’t go in the sun or they’ll burn alive? Sort of solved? They won’t die a terrible death, but *shock horror* they will sparkle. Bella describes Edward’s skin to be like ‘thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface’. So, the stakes are what, exactly? The vampires are beautiful, never age and don’t even eat humans. If anything it’s comedic that the Cullens don’t show up to school on sunny days, lest they… sparkle. Honestly, I don’t hate the concept, really, but Edward’s constant referral to himself as a ‘monster’ doesn’t really make sense with the knowledge that the Cullens are extremely tame… after all, humans hunt and eat animals too.

The final chapter and epilogue tie everything quite neatly together, and if Meyer hadn’t continued writing the novel could easily be left at book one. Bella informs her mother she wants to stay in Forks with her father, and Jacob Black the werewolf comes to the high school dance to tell Bella that the Quileute tribe will be ‘watching’ her and Edward, still distrustful of the Cullens (even though the Cullens have done literally nothing, but whatever, that’s over dramatic territorial werewolf-vampire drama, I guess). It ends with Bella still pestering Edward to turn her into a vampire, and him declining. I suppose that’s enough of a cliff-hanger to warrant a sequel?

Characters who aged well: Did any of them, really? To be nit-picky, it could be argued that all of them have one too many problematic roots to age well. I’m going to add in Carlisle and Esme, though, because I can’t find fault any serious fault with them. I’m also going to add in Bella’s father, who despite being criticised very constantly for not keeping an eye on Bella, did a decent job. After all, Charlie had no way to know anything about the supernatural world that turned Bella’s life upside down, and I don’t think he can be blamed for that.

Characters who aged badly: well. Um. A massive part of Twilight’s criticism is Bella’s one dimensional character. I’ve always been on the fence about it, because sometimes people just really are quite bland, and she is a depressed teen so I usually cut her some slack on that count. My real issue is Meyer’s intention for Bella to be a Mary Sue rather than a substantial character: while she can be headstrong and humorous in passing, she does not have any real opinions, thoughts or motivations that aren’t related to Edward or the Cullens to the point that she has no initiative to exist outside of being with him. This also makes her selfish in her lack of care for her father; I understand not caring too much about the kids you have to attend school with- not many choices in a small town- but the way Bella shuts her dad out is just too much. As for Edward, why does he like Bella, really? I understand the intrigue of not being able to read her thoughts, but beyond that there’s really not much going on. I think they actually do have some good banter between them and parts of the relationship are very fun, but if you took away the vampire aspect, none of it makes much sense (*spoiler* like, say, Bella’s sudden marriage to Edward in Breaking Dawn immediately after high school graduation would be just as weird to us if they were only human as it is to the townsfolk in Forks).

Both the novel itself, the film and Edward’s character- and many of the male characters in the series- normalise a lot of misogyny, gender roles and sexism (please refer to the links for further information). Edward’s misogynistic tendencies- rushing in without asking Bella’s consent to ‘protect her’- are portrayed as desirable, and Bella is flattered by it. Every girl in the books- human, vampire or werewolf- is described unimpressively, always some form of shallow and petty compared to every male character having a distinct personality. Rosalie had so much promise for a strong female character, with her university degrees and interest in mechanics, not to mention her revenge on her rapists, but it all becomes lost in her overwhelming dislike of Bella (which worsens with the realisation that Rosalie sees herself as a ‘monster’ because she can’t have children, and she hates Bella for being a ‘real’ woman).

I’m going to link one article here about racism entrenched within the Twilight series. The writer discusses the racial bias within the Twilight saga, and while it is primarily geared towards the movies, the points made also reflect the characters in the books. Concerning the lack of diversity in the series, Stephanie Meyer is quoted saying she ‘wrote that they [the Cullens] had this pale glistening skin!’; she refused to allow Twilight director Catherine Hardwick to change any Cullens to people of colour, wanting the actors to resemble the white friends and family she had in mind writing the books. Hardwicke herself had hoped for Alice to be of Japanese descent, but that her ideas were thwarted as Meyer ‘just could not accept the Cullens to be more diverse’. While Meyer allowed some of Bella’s school mates to be POC, it is concerning that the most prominent character she accepted being non-white was the antagonist vampire Laurent, who was played by a black actor. Along with all the ‘good’ characters being white, there is also the issue of Jasper’s backstory as a proud Confederate soldier- which Meyer seems to portray with a strange reverence.

I’m also going to link a Reddit thread here where people offer their different opinions on whether the novels, movies or Stephanie Meyer herself are racist or at the very least, very ignorant. The werewolves of the series are not as present in the first book/movie, but the legends of the Quileute tribes are referenced- and changed- according to how Meyer wanted to use them in her story. To summarise, many readers believe Meyer’s use of descriptors such as ‘dogs’ or ‘mongrels’ toward the werewolves (the Native American Quileute tribe) are racist. This is due to the Cullens (the good, all-white vampire clan) being the ones to refer to the Quileute people in such a way; furthermore, they are the only non-white people in the books, making Meyer’s decision to liken only POC to animals more questionable; others argue that the ‘dog’ term is only because they are effectively intended to be giant dogs.

Favourite scene/quote: “‘You said last night that you weren’t interested in any of the boys in town.’ But he picked up his fork again, so I could see the worst was over.

‘Well, Edward doesn’t live in town, Dad.’

He gave me a disparaging look as he chewed.’”

Charlie just doing his best while Bella always remains a few steps ahead of him is one dynamic Meyer wrote decently (probably because it was all in aid of Bella’s only motivation in life: being with Edward).

The chapter ‘The Game’ holds my favourite scene from the novel, aka the iconic baseball game regarded as the film’s best scene. It’s a fun moment where Bella watches the Cullens play baseball as a storm rises, requiring the thunder to mask the loudness of their hits. Unlike the film, the novel is able to explain the dynamics between the Cullens and how their powers work, specifically detailing the communication between Edward’s mind-reading and Alice’s ability to see the future.

Overall verdict:

Owing to the stark popularity of the books I’ve discussed here compared to my past choices, there was a lot more material and controversy to discuss for this review.

I found both books to provide a solid feeling of time and place. I love stories shrouded in rain and dark forests and both series are set firmly in just that. Like I mentioned earlier, I have issues with both authors’ writing, though I still feel that it is more acceptable in Harry Potter than Twilight. Interestingly, there is no character in either novel that I really see myself in, which is rare; I like plenty of them, I just don’t relate to anyone in full.

With author Stephanie Meyer’s Mormon beliefs and personal morals obviously creating these characters, it isn’t exactly an easy case of separating art from artist. Twilight is an entertaining read for all its flaws and its too far gone to ‘cancel’ now- although I suppose it has probably been cancelled numerous times anyway?- but it isn’t too late for readers to educate themselves on its problems to prevent Meyer-level ignorance where possible. Harry Potter, on the other hand, doesn’t have the same ties to the writer that Twilight does. Most of Rowling’s problematic behaviour came well after the books were written, but I’ll link one article here that discusses how some transgender fans have responded to Rowling’s actions. For some people, the controversy has affected their abilities to love the franchise anymore; others have chosen to separate the content from author, akin to many Twilight fans.

Personally, if religion hadn’t interfered with my ability to read Harry Potter as a child, I maintain that I would have loved it, especially as I enjoy the films now. Just as with Twilight, I typically find it easy to enjoy stories while understanding their flaws. There is a keen amount of nostalgia surrounding both these franchises and likely always will be, but there are newer stories with real representation being released all the time, and the ideal outcome for me would be working towards popularising these series over wasting our time arguing over already-published novels!