#and yeah its more accurate to say 'oh as an afab i...'

[trivialtrivia]

Felt that

cis "allies" are getting on my nerves recently

[derseprinceoftbd]

I realized I should say this first before my actual thoughts on the book; Please send me your favorite fanworks! Music, art, anamatics, fics (especially those), you name it! I'm ready for everything and immune to spoilers, and I'm getting this way before uA! Hahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahahhaahahah!!!!!!!!

So: Nona.

Certainly the one with the biggest, most fundamental, and most annoying flaws; slow pacing, too many characters with too little personality, convoluted plot (I still understand nothing about the convoy). And yet the highs were not just the highest of the series, but *21st century literature*. Seriously, the moment Nona clicked felt like turning the page and seeing the imprint of Tamsyn Muir having ripped her heart out and pounded it, still beating, into the page. And may I remind you, *I'm* using the *audiobook*!

Man, I *really* disrespected this series. Like in hindsight without my lenses there is genuinely not one TLT character that accurately maps onto any one Homestuck character, and TSG has just fuckall to do with anything, but I'm a fucking jackass who wants to feel like she knows everything.

On a similar note, *not YA*. I am a moron and should not be listened to. This series is not appropriate if you are under sixteen. Certainly I don't really think you'll *get* it.

Interesting that John is, at once, environmental destruction, death, child predation, imperialism, and religion, but not really actually *patriarchy*, and *explicitly not* capitalism. I'm the kind of person to be grateful for that last bit, even if it does seem out of place with the whole ethos, but really, am I just missing a dimension or should there be more gender commentary? I guess maybe it's an AFAB thing I'm too non-passing to have any social understanding of what Muir's trying to say.

EDIT: REDDIT EXPLAINED EVERYTHING I WAS MISSING TO ME, VERY SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY, BECAUSE I'M GENUINELY A STUPID PERSON.

Anywho, I don't have great confidence in Alecto-that is to say, in the idea that it will come next. I'm almost certain, in fact, that what would once have been Act 2 of Alecto will *also* be spun into its own book, to be released no sooner than 2025 and no later than 2030, and that this will be a 5-book series; I know not whether 4 or 5 will be Alecto, but the other will definitely be Kiriona. I'm willing to put good money on this. I'm not really willing to make any predictions beyond this-I might honestly jinx it if I do.

(Also John was wrong and the rich folks were 100% going to take everyone in later waves.)

So, yeah. Thank you for everyone who read along with me; I'm going to do The Unwanted Guest next, and after that, I'm thinking either Lolita or the Torah and Gospels, then the other, then The Magician's Apprentice, then a reread.

Oh, and I can finally actually subscribe to the fucking tags! Wooooohooooo!

Let's hope none of the talented people have blocked me.

[wierdaesthetic]

How I think cod men smell like naturally their body. (hate dni)

so I have this thing called synesthics with basically causes my brain to use more than one sence when triggered for example I can smell pictures, I know it sounds weird but when ever I look at pic of smth or someone my brain makes up what it/they would smell like. (And to my suprice its pretty accurate)

1. ghost

I am 100% he wears Axe body spray in the purple blue scent, and not because its named Marine (haha). Yeah so his notes are axe spray, hormones(the sweet pinappley ones, not the gross just hit puberty boy type) and I think rust for some reason like he was in a mechanical work space. 2. Konig

Now this bitch confuses me as shit. I think he smells like medical equiment but at the same time I think he smells like nothing, netrual. I dont know he has a minty tone tho. So he probs just has amazing heigyne and doesn't over fragrance himself.

3. Price He smells like tobacco Malboro, I bet my ass on that. But I would know cause I smoke more than him (he is 40+ I am beraly 20). But he also smell alchooly BUT BEFORE YOU SAY I AM STEREOTYPING!! I mean like fragrance type alchool, most notably after shave type of scent. Like spicy cinamon but in a more masculine way. 4. Soap

Before yall hoes come for me, sHe pRobS gOinG tO sAy He SmElLs LikE SoAp, NO BITCH. Like I said I aint stereotyping shit today. HE SMELLS LIKE A PHEREMONENAL SLUT not because he is my favourite but because he always sweaty in the game. But I dont think his sweat smells bad honestly, first of all let me let yall in a little secret ... if you exersice, eat heathly and let out sweat (you know ;) ;)) YOUR SWEAT DOESN'T SMELL!! In the best case senario it is even plesant. At the bear minimum he smells like a basic cologe that his ex or ghost bought him for his bday.

5. Gaz

Let me tell you hoes something. BLACK MEN KNOW HOW TO NOTE AND COMPLIMENT THEIR SCENT!! Did you read that or do I need to repeat it. He smells like vanilla, cocunut, sol de janero REALNESS. He has scented moisteraiser every where in his car, in bag, on a keychain, in his mulitary bag EVERYWHERE, I bet you he has one between his cheeks so he can use it mids war. (I AM DYING) 6. Alejandro

Now hear me when I say, I know he smells feminine. Which is not bad at all but I feel like his stuff is florally scented or fruit or something like that, but at the same time I fear he smells like my boy bff cause they have so similar vibes (I HOPE NOT). But also he smell of tattoo shop YEAH THATS IT. He smells exactly like green disinfectant soap with rose peals infusion, exactly that and if you dont know what I am talking about just imagine dentist office smell + roses.

7. Alex Keller

Oh I know he smells good, naturally and when it comes to fragrance. I just feel it in my bones. He smells like oils, honey and anything in that area. I just know he drenches himself in jojoba oil and l know he loves dior. Like thats it, he is an expencive smelling man.

8. Rudy

I mean, he confuses me. I think he is mixure of hormones (again not the disguasting) and expencive parfum. I think he smells "manly", it sounds weird I know. I KNOW! He smells like salty caramel but the sticky type that you can also eat as a chewing gum, if you are from europe you especially from the slavic or balkan area you know exactly what I am talking about.

9. Nikto

To me he smells like home and I bet my ass on that if he was real I would say that as soon as I would met him but I bet most of yall have no idea what I am talking about unless you are slavic. Well he smells like beer but not the alchooly type but the softer type also he smells like grass, nature and wood. Also he smells like tobacco NOT SMOKE but the plant.

10. Keegan

MINT. MINT. MINT. I know this man smells like a colgate ad, I can feel it. He smells exactly how water tastes after you brush your teeth. He smells also like rain but thats a small note, mostly MINT and fresh. If you are afab or use ph balance wash HE SMELLS LIKE THAT.

(no I wont do philip FUCK HIM, unless yall really want it)

Just a bit of my delulu for anyone that caress I CAN SMELL KONIG RIGHT NOW WTF, AS IF HE IS IN FRONT OF ME. It so weird help.

[steveandbucky]

I don’t understand if ur serious when u say that you’re anti fatws (esp bucky) lol???? for real?

yeah i think he’s not bucky. OOC. and like, not for stupid shit, but when it comes to stuff that matters. i always thought bucky has a solid moral compass (similar to steves). i mean just from what we’ve seen in canon, idk if this is just my own intrepratations, but anyway, i don’t agree with his actions, i dont agree with him asking sam to put his safety on the line with the ‘you helped steve with the accords i think you should help me’ ok bucky you were taken in as a refugee by an untouchable nation, sam was put into a supermax prison steve had to break him out of, and then was on the run as a fugitive for two years. the absolute NERVE.

and like, the man he breaks out of prison is z*mo? really? that’s his ABUSER. i don’t understand why no one else seems upset by this. that’s not bucky. OOC. if he wanted any help from z*mo, he could have asked for him to help from behind the bars he very much deserves to be behind. if he refused to help, oh well, too bad, buh bye. i dont understand who thought this was a good idea. are we forgetting z*mo intentionally triggered bucky into going into his winter soldier programming, which resulted in bucky killing again? the thing he did not want to do? he literally says, over and over again, ‘i dont do that anymore’ and ‘i dont want to kill anyone’ and ‘(resigned) wheres the fight’.

im not gonna describe *that scene* that triggered me very badly, if you dont know what im talking about im sorry but i cannot physically write the words. but im very very upset at the writers for a throwaway line that implies past sexual abuse* knowing FULL well the majority of their demographic who like bucky/identify with him are in fact women/afab, and like, going by the statistics alone, would find something like this 1. triggering and 2. a slap in the face. just, for why? what purpose did that line serve, actually? was it necessary? for plot progession? (*though, i maintain, z*mo doesnt know shit, he’s being a dick bc thats half his personality, and talking shit bc thats the other half of his personality). but yeah. one of the major reasons i dont like whoever it was that writes bucky in this show.

another thing, the obsession with the shield? putting all that blame onto sam? i mean... i understand he’s upset about being abandoned by his best friend (and arguably only friend, i guess?) but like. shut up about the shield. shut up about the shield!!! where’s the ‘the little guy from brooklyn, im following him’ like bucky never gave a shit about captain america. whats going on through his head actually? bc like.. if there’s things he’s not saying, we won’t fucking know about them, will we?

i honestly dont know what the writers are doing, i don’t know whether they’re completely misunderstanding his characer, or trying to foreshadow bucky going to the dark side, or whats going on. bc at this point he looks more like an antagonist at the very least, if not outright villain.

the only accurate bucky content i have seen so far is like, him and sam acting like a married couple, him making nerdy references, and the flashback scene in wakanda which is the only time i have seen sebastian stan actually acting.

i don’t know who this fool is, but it’s not bucky.

as for the show in general, im not liking what im seeing, and no i dont need to watch it to form an opinion. not gonna put myself through however many hours of mediocre content. i never had high hopes about it, but this half-assed storyline with the flag smashers (clearly a poor attempt at portraying antifas as the enemy), the super soldier serum, the dollar store captain america, z*mo??? why is he even here????

sam not having enough of the spotlight...in his own goddamn show... like. idk. i think he deserved something of his own. a better storyline. something that’s about *him*, his life, his struggles. with bucky as his sidekick. sam, pretending to be too sensible to run into crazy shit, bucky, resigned, being dragged along, being sam’s wingman, his support. *thats* their dynamic. from what i have seen about sam’s scenes, he seems to be more or less in character, imo, but i just... feel like he’s being sidelined. in his own show.

THE THERAPY/THERAPIST. I hate EVERYTHING about it. from her demeanor, attitude towards her client, not addressing him by his preferred name, her judgmental tone/statements, her belittling/dismissing bucky’s pain, her ‘rules’ and just. everything. everything. for ONCE i would like to see an ACCURATE portrayal of therapy in media. because it’s the opposite. the exact opposite of this. there’s a long thread from twitter i reblogged that goes more into detail, but i think like, it’s one of those things that really piss me off. therapy is about creating a safe space, putting your patients comfort first, listening, empathising, not judging, not mocking, not disrespecting, helping your patient open up, help them recover and make progress at their own pace. i mean. its so disgusting to see this. i’ve never had professional psychologist training, not as part of my degree or anything else, and i wrote a fic with steve going to therapy that’s 100% better than this bullshit we’re being served (and at the time i wrote the fic, i had never been to therapy, only counselling, which is very different). how come? why cant they, with their budget and their resources, their ability to conduct extensive research and even hire consultants, not do a better job with this part of the show? disappointing. truly.

maybe i don’t know exactly what’s going on, plotwise, or whatever, but like, if i dont like what i’m seeing, why would i invest more time to find out more about the show? the mcu has been steadily declining since 2016, lets be real. civil war, infinity war, endgame... this was all an absolute shitshow. fatws can only do so much with the canon they are being given to work with, without outright retconning everything, but even so... it’s weak. i always thought the writers wouldnt be able to write anything thats half as good as the stuff fans come up with and... i think i was right.

thanks for the question.

[i-did]

1/ 4 oh it's funny you brought up the ace people thing bc i'm actually aro/ace so i can elucidate on it a little xD i don't currently write smut but i sure have read a lot of it. i think a lot of ace people find fic a safe way to like? satisfy their curiosity about sexual things without having to look at real people or even watch porn which (esp mainstream porn) can be a lot. and also to like.

2/4 idk when you don't get something but it's such a big part of what so many other people seem to find super important it makes you kinda want to figure it out? i guess? and also a lot of people have a libido even if they don’t experience attraction so that’s a thing too. 3/4 part of the reason m/m is so popular is bc it’s just like. been that way in fandom so long that it’s a habit, and i don’t think the percentage of people fetisizing m/m relationships is really as high as it’s made out to be (although it does still exist, more or less prominently in every fandom) 4/4 my closest friend is a trans dude and he identified as a lesbian for a very long time and he’d never written lesbian porn and one day he was like. “its bc im not a lesbian and i want to write about dudes bc i am one” and i think there are a lot of younger people who are still figuring stuff out which is why i try not to be too harsh on individual people. i do still think it’s important to critique and look at why broader fandom trends turn out the way they do. anyway sorry for sending you a barrage of asks i just get excited about fandom meta xD

-mild nsfw and pwp discussion-

Hey! Yeah no worries, my blog has been pretty quiet activity and ask wise until just now so I'm kind of surprised by the amount of asks I started getting literally over night, but yeah I dont mind getting them lol.

I think "habit" is an interesting word to use in regards to people whipping mlm over wlw, and probably a pretty accurate one. I think however that the percentage of people who are fetishizing mlm is higher than people realize, because from my point of view... i haven't really heard many people talk about it or take it seriously. I don't think its just fetishization, I think its also lack of well written women as well as the default in lgbt being gay man, but i also think the fact that well developed characters get flattened out and a heteronormative dynamic gets placed on them, and the abundance of pwp proves that there is definitely fetishization and people need to start to unlearn it in fandom imo. It makes it a very uncomfortable place to be for mlm otherwise.

Also I know a lot of similar stories to the one you're saying about your friend, trans guys who didn't know who they were, especially gay trans men feeling like they fetishize mlm when they don't they're 100% mlm too, and having room for exploration is important like you said. Your friend is a straight trans guy but the point still stands.

About the ace thing: yeah and I totally get that, I know someone who reads pwp of mlm because its unemotional unlike wlw pwp and as someone who is aro they want to not feel like theyre missing out and know whats up with sexual psychology.

I've heard of a lot of ace people reading pwp to "figure out what the deal is" but its interesting to me how many people look into pwp that would be outside of their demographic, aka cis women reading pwp mlm. I think its important to note that probably 97% of mlm pwp isn't written by mlm for mlm, and isn't actually accurate not only in the mlm gaze, but also functionality and how sex feels. Its porn. Porn exaggerates things, it makes things sound bigger and more extreme and extraordinary because it os inherently performative in a way to arouse the consumer. In had an ace friend tell me they were sad sex wasn't something that they could experience in pwp but, no one can lol. I mean there is more toned down realistic pwp, but the vast majority talks about full body feeling (which btw amab people experience orgasums localized while afab experience more full body)

I get the appeal to not want to look at real people but wanting to know, but why only read mlm if thats the case? Why not also wlw or wlm, etc.

Also its important to note it still isn't actually accurate in a lot of small ways beyond gaze, but also proper prep, health, sanitization, eating habits, body hair, positions, terminology, sensations, culture etc.

I've had someone state that if they wanted accuracy they would go out and actually sleep with someone, but still that person was a cis woman reading mlm pwp, and I think accuracy is important to a degree to prevent issues like fetishization, but also unrealistic expectations.

You stated that mainstream porn is a lot, and it is, but also so is pwp imo, especially as a mlm. The pwp tag in ant fandom is quite wild lol. Thats. Thats my 2 cents, its quite wild.

But yeah overall the best thing is to assume people don't have ill intent, they usually don't! But that doesn't mean that overall some people aren't also causing harm by doing such things like fetishizing mlm in fandom.

Cool asks lol wasn't expecting this everyones been chill so far thanks for the lack of anon hate and remember that the internet is a public space and to try to be respectful of others.

[emotionalsupportbun-chan]

dani sent me a text without punctuation, which i then interpreted as a very specific fic request

this became so much more than I thought it was going to be and *i guess* there’ll have to be more 

so anyway here’s afab Zhao

nsfw, obv. 

Almost, Almost. Kasuga said it was close. An empty building, still unsold, still draining a dead man’s bank account. It was technically squatting, but no one would think to look for them there and none of them could quite handle a bar right now.

 They leaned on each other, stumbling down the narrow alleys of the Red Light district, the support both physical and emotional. Saeko shouldered more of Kasuga’s weight than Zhao had assumed she could. Themself and Joon-Gi embraced like drunkards on a dance floor, each a load-bearing wall to the other. Just focus. One step after another, one foot in front of the other, until the gaudy facade of an abandoned soapland came into view. 

The door was unlocked. That should have been reason for concern, but “preoccupied” was an understatement. The interior was quiet nonetheless, air stagnant, dank from the lingering moisture of the establishment’s past. A layer of dust covered the front desk, the phone, the pictures of the smiling girls that still adorned the walls. The scattering of bubbly brunettes, headshots subtly retouched, greeted them in the absence of their late boss as the party silently trudged up the stairs, each one picking a room. Zhao went straight down to the end of the hall to a room they knew was still fully stocked with a variety of therapeutic oils and herbs. With the finish line in sight, each step became a battle of its own; each one highlighting a new ache, a yet undiscovered cut, a deep bruise. Their legs felt like jelly, like the bones could slide out onto the floor at any moment. After an eternity, they hit the threshold, not so much opening the door as letting the weight of their body fling it to the side. Inside, they found the room not entirely as expected. 

“Oh…?” Surprise, disappointment, irritation. A great cacophony of feelings arose at the sight of another person in the room, and somehow they all fit neatly into that one word.

“Huh?” The figure rose from their crouched position in front of the sliding doors of the storage closet. It was a woman - inky black hair cut short, face unadorned by makeup aside from striking oxblood lipstick, athletic outfit both fashionable and utilitarian. “Fuckin’ hell, ya look like ya tried to fist-fight a wreckin’ ball.” 

Ignoring the surprisingly accurate comment, Zhao tried to slip into the old Scary Gang Boss performance. They didn’t know who this woman was, but they were fairly certain she didn’t belong here. “Hey! You…” But the energy quickly faded, intensity falling from their voice. “Just get out.” They hoped that tone could carry the rest of the message as the words failed to come. I have a lot of questions, but no drive to ask them right now.  

“I’m serious, ya got fucked up.” There was genuine concern in this stranger’s voice. “Come sit down before ya fall over an’ hit yer head ’r somethin’.” She approached, guiding Zhao to a rickety chair in the corner. “Didn’t mean to cause any problems, I thought this place was abandoned,” she said, resuming her search through some boxes stacked at the bottom of the closet. 

Zhao sank into the seat and watched her, trying not to concentrate on the throb of torn muscle. More questions came and were dismissed, deemed not worth the effort of speech. They couldn’t help but notice how well her ass filled out her athletic leggings, though.  

“Is that so?” They took a breath, gathering the will to continue the conversation-slash-interrogation. “Strange, I didn’t know Kansai thieves came in such pretty packages.” They wanted the comment to be something more aggressive, but the flirtation was instinct; the quip slipped out before they even thought to stop it. It was met with a sharp jab to the side by a single manicured nail. 

“A comedian, huh? Very funny.” She upended another small box. “Damn…”

“But really, who are you? What are you doing here?” They let their voice go quiet and calm, an almost-threat, Serious Business Zhao. Great ass aside, an intruder was an intruder. And sure, they didn’t have the strength to put up much of a fight, if it came to that, but Quiet Menacing usually did the trick. 

“I used to work here.” Another box, inspected and discarded. Finally, she fell back out of a squat, now sitting on the floor in a crab-like position, red faced with the effort of her frantic search. An errant strand of hair fell into her face and was blown away in a huff. She wore her frustration openly. It was cute as hell.  

Oh, now you’ve done it. They tried to come out with something slick and witty. “Hi, ‘I used to work here’. I’m Zhao.” They threw a half-smile on for good measure. Nailed it. 

That frustration gave way to something between second-hand embarrassment and disgust. “Really?” 

She stood abruptly, gracefully. It seemed the athletic outfit wasn’t just for show. “As I was sayin’, I used to work here. Just got back in town and had to pick up some stuff I left behind. Looks like one of the other girls already got to it, though.” She paused, stretching. “Sucks about Nonomiya,” she added, the murder of her boss an afterthought. 

With new found high ground, she looked down at Zhao, licked a thumb, and tried to smudge away a line of blood on their cheek. “What’re you doin’ here?” 

“We, uh, wanted a bath.” They motioned toward the door, shifting uncomfortably through the strange woman’s fussing. “A friend of mine briefly worked for Nonomiya.” 

“Huh.” She began to inspect their various cuts and contusions. “Ya know any first aid? This is gonna take more’n a Toughness to fix.”   

“Not really.” Nothing more than the basics. Usually they’d just go see a Liumang doctor, but that wasn’t exactly an option anymore. 

“Lemme fix ya up then, it’s the least I could do.” She chuckled to herself. “Ya looked like yer soul’d left yer body, seein’ me in here.” She turned and started the bath running, opening the jars and bottles that she’d pulled out of the closet. Zhao watched as she mixed a scoop of this or that into the rising water and popped open a still-sealed medical kit. She tore open and arranged packets of gauze and astringent pads as the bath filled, a mise-en-place that would satisfy even the pickiest nurse. She’d even produced a basic suturing kit. “Go on, get in! I’m doin’ ya a favor here.” She tugged at the collar of their jacket. 

The transition to standing upright was not without pain. “Uh…” Sure, this might as well happen. “Yeah...ok, fine.” They carefully removed the leather jacket, the shorts, the shoes, folding them neatly and placing them on the chair Zhao had once occupied. Knowing my luck, I’d fall asleep and drown if I had to do it myself. 

“Hurry up,” She waved a hand in their direction. “It’s not nothin’ I haven’t seen a million times before.” Unsatisfied with their pace, the woman began to rapidly, procedurally, unbutton Zhao’s shirt, deft fingers working more quickly than they’d assumed the nails would allow. “Oh!” She stopped about half way down as the shirt fell open to reveal the sturdy sports bra beneath it. “Sorry, guess I just assumed…” 

“Don’t worry about it, easy mistake.” It wasn’t exactly a secret. Anyone who’d been in the Liumang long enough knew the old boss never had a son, but Zhao wasn’t going to stop any new blood from making convenient assumptions. They finished undressing themself as the woman stood in contemplation and slowly stepped into the bath, smiling at the stranger’s quiet nice. “If this changes anything…” 

“Oh, no.” She settled onto a short stool behind Zhao’s back and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. “If anything, my job just got easier. Don’t gotta worry about any wayward, uh, anatomy.” Her tone was cool, casual, but Zhao knew when their body was being appreciated. They had that effect on some people. Mostly girls. Men typically didn’t like someone they perceived as a woman having shoulders as broad and well-muscled as theirs.  

Once they were settled, the stranger set to work. Whatever she mixed into the bath stung as it came into contact with the various cuts across Zhao’s body, but soothed sore muscles and joints better than any concoction they could have come up with. The initial inspection was thorough; the woman was unhesitant in picking up limbs and manipulating skin. She didn’t seem to find anything worth stitches - the few cuts that were a little more than just a scratch got spritzed with wound wash and treated with an antibiotic ointment. She rubbed some kind of cream over the larger bruises. 

Once satisfied with the state of their wounds, she started working the shoulders and neck. First gentle, but firm, presses of knuckles to loosen the knots. Then she really set in, putting her full weight behind an elbow, working just under the base of their neck. It hurt at first, and Zhao almost called it quits, but after a minute or so the tension gave way and their legs - their whole body, for that matter - turned to jelly once again. They had a brief spike of worry - they were helpless under her hands; this would be a perfect opportunity for an assassin - but the thought left as quickly as it came as she moved lower down their back, pushing the heels of her hands into their spine and hitting each vertebra one by one. “Relax, relax. I’m not gonna hurt ya.” She must have felt the moment of tension. Zhao tried to respond, but the words that came devolved immediately into a low moan at the return of the elbow. No use; resistance was futile. They were putty. 

Eventually - unfortunately - the massage ended. As the woman pulled her arms out of the water, Zhao could have sworn they felt the barely-there sensation of her fingers trailing the outline of the phoenix inked across their back. Before they could say anything, she leaned in, pressing the side of her face against theirs. “All better?” she said, lips grazing the bit of neck just below the ear. Not even a kiss, just a whisper of heat. Her voice had changed, becoming something saccharine and syrup-dipped, dripping with anticipated carnality. Oh, a full service experience? Zhao didn’t anticipate this being part of the deal, but who could turn down such a skilled professional? The woman was a master of her art. The hands soon returned, this time settling low on the hips, drifting slowly around to the front of their body. Her chest plastered against their back, chin nestled in the crook of their neck, the first finger slipped between their legs... 

A voice sounded, somewhere down the hall, barely squeezing through a quickly narrowing tunnel of desire. Something about Survive and karaoke and Joon-gi said he’ll sing this time, are you done yet? 

Without warning, the warmth of her body pressed against them disappeared as the woman pulled away and snatched a bag off the floor, leaving Zhao red-faced and stupefied. “Looks like it’s time for me to scram.” Back to business. No more Sexy Soapland Girl. “Put this on yer bruises ‘til they go away,” she said, dropping a tube of cream onto the stool as she hurried toward the door. 

“Wait, who - “ Zhao tried to hoist themself out of the bath only to find their legs still shaky as a foal’s. They slipped back in with a wet plunk, sloshing water over the edge and onto the floor. By the time they’d righted themself, the woman was long gone and Kasuga had come wandering in with a towel to hassle them about their bathing habits. After a moment of teasing, they were left to dry, and dress, and try to pretend they weren’t wet in more ways than one. 

It would be hours until they realized they didn’t remember seeing the woman’s face among the portraits over in the waiting room. 

[okiedokievariantloki]

On Continuity, Plot, and Story: Each Thor Movie (including Loki on Disney+) Is Telling A Different Story...Part 1: Thor (2011)

One of the things I hear a lot in fandom is how a lot of characterization in the MCU is inconsistent throughout the movies.  This goes especially for a lot of the earlier Marvel movies (Iron Man, X-Men, 2000′s Spiderman) before MCU was even a thing, but all of the films to some extent fall prey to this.

First off, this is not going to be a ship-centric post, so please don’t take it as invalidating or supporting any relationship/romance/pairing. That’s not the point, so if you’re looking for that kind of content, I suggest you look elsewhere.

Secondly, I’m not a hardcore fan of the MCU. I’ve watched all the movies and shows I will be talking about today. In fact, I have watched them in order of release because my beloved is a big comic book fan and I support them even though I’m more of a fan of silver age DC comics, weird science, indie comics, and seinen manga.

Third, I’m not a *huge* fan of how a lot of superhero comic books have characters literally vomit paragraphs of extrapolation in speech bubbles, but I understand the reason for it, and I grew up in the 90′s, when a lot of superhero comics basically decided to fanboy all over Frank Miller’s Sin City aesthetic and so a lot of superhero comics were both super grimdark and really violent, which was not the kind of stories I preferred to read.  Add that to the time I watched that truly horrible Captain America movie from the 80′s or something on afternoon broadcast TV where he wears a motorcycle helmet and The Red Skull gave me nightmares for a week because their interpretation of the character is a guy whose face was just...glistening muscles and it was horrifying, and you can see why I might be a bit skeptical of the whole spandex-and-punching-baddies thing.

Anyway, let’s get started or this is going to be a rogue thesis paper.

You might laugh when I say this, but when I first heard about the Thor movies, it was on the back of Dr. Pepper cans.  They had cans with images of all the Thor characters on it, and I remember looking at Anthony Hopkins as Odin and wondering why he was such a round butterball.  The outfits *were* kind of ridiculous, but they also felt oddly overly shiny if that makes any sense.  Like they weren’t wearing clothing that actually made a lot of sense for battle.  It felt like they were trying to pull from the comics (which, to be fair, looks like someone decided to combine Conan The Barbarian with psychedelia, so I am fairly certain the costume department was doing their best), but also from the late 2000′s aesthetics popular at the time.  I remember there were short “making of” shows on TV, including interviews with the cast, and I was familiar with the director (he also made a film version of Hamlet that he starred as Hamlet in) so from that information alone, I could pretty much guarantee that this movie was going to be like Shakespeare on steroids with a good hint of self-congratulatory auteur nonsense.

And I was not disappointed!  The parts on Earth clashed terribly with the parts on Asgard, and I found it really funny because it was kind of like that meme where the detailed horse drawing gets more and more sketchy and terrible.

Like so: 

You could really tell that the director just wanted to make an entire movie on Asgard without Thor going to Earth at all.  The Earth parts were cringey and made me flash back to the early Iraq War Bush years (if you don’t know what I’m talking about it, it was a Whole Imperialistic Jingoistic Patriotic Bullshit Thing that I don’t want to go into).

The fight scenes were...ok...but they were also just...exhausting.  I find this to be pretty much the case in most early to mid 00′s superhero movie.  They are so obsessed with having The Big Fight To Make The Hero Look Really Powerful that the destruction ends up going on for so long that I get physically tired (I think I legitimately dozed off when Superman and Zod were fighting in the reboot film).  The character development was ok, but once again, every character wasn’t really a character, they were an archetype.

And so, I wanted to stop here for just a second and go into that a bit more.

Thor 1 wasn’t really written as a Thor movie.  Remember, the guy who had his fingers in this thing from day 1 is a Big Shakespeare Guy, and it shows. In plays like Hamlet, we don’t look at Hamlet and go “wow, I wanna headcanon Hamlet’s favorite breakfast and what he wears on Tuesdays.”  (Though, of course, you are welcome to do so if you like- friendly reminder that Hamlet is in the public domain so go out there and write about him all you want!).

Hamlet isn’t really a “person” so much as an assortment of plot archetypes (prince, coming home after time away, depressed, vengeful, intelligent, calculating) wearing funny shorts.  Nobody watches Hamlet because they want to know what Denmark was Like Back Then just like nobody thinks that Romeo And Juliet is a Very Accurate Depiction of Verona in Its Time, Actually. (Also, as an aside, for some reason, I always had this sneaking feeling that Shakespeare “borrowed” tropes from Oedipus and put it into Hamlet, but that’s an essay for another day).

In the movie, Thor isn’t meant to be a person. He’s a list of tropes because he is the Heroic Protagonist Archetype.  In a lot of ways Thor’s personality and character (his pride and hubris) are part of the traditional heroic storyline.  The hero has to have a fall before he can pick himself back up and reach the climax and resolution of the Hero’s Journey.  Having him thrown out of his element and humbled by making him “mortal” (I’m still not sure what that means, but it doesn’t matter! It’s a plot point that serves the story, not the other way around!)

I do think that one of the reasons Loki is set up as a brother instead of as an uncle or older character is because Loki is known in the comics, and the whole “neglected brother who backstabs his golden boy brother to take the throne” thing is definitely a plot point in Hamlet.

I could see where the director and his team were stymied by the rules thrust upon them by the property they were trying to use.  The story itself is a pretty standard heroic journey with other stuff sprinkled in.  Loki has to be at least slightly villain coded for most of the film to serve the story, and the audience must unquestioningly believe he is “sneaky and devious” because it serves the story of Thor going through the growth he needs in order to be a hero.

BUT ALSO, Loki can’t be made into an irredeemable villain because in the comics as well as movies, these characters have to be allowed to have enough open-ended characterization to allow for them to be slotted into other stories.  If Loki is a complete black-hearted monster, then the only part he can play in any heroic journey story is to die definitively at the end.  By pulling back before making him go too far, it does weaken the archetype a bit (as absolute evil is a lot more cathartic to dispatch once and for all), but it serves a specific narrative purpose.

Which brings me to character design and how the audience takes it.

I remember when LOTR was first coming out in theaters.  You had all the macho dudes going off when Gimley and Aragorn came on screen hacking and slashing, and then Legolas would show up and you’d hear a ton of screams  from the teen girls in the audience.  Feminine coded male characters are often really popular with with AFAB people, but they’re also popular with queer folks, especially villains due to queer-coding (villains often dress better and there’s a history of effeminate and queer Othering in media and society), so that’s definitely a Thing). 

One of the main reasons I think this might be is that most films with a main male lead tend to be really man-character-heavy in general.  If there’s a female character, she’s usually cast as the “cis-white-generically attractive love interest archetype” which literally exists specifically because the sausage fest of male friendships with close connection (in spandex) is very, very easy to turn into a gay romance.  There is a reason one of the first and enduring fanfic pairings is Spock/Kirk.

A few more archetypes:

Thor’s three friends are basically versions of god Thor:

- A glutton who likes to boast/tell stories

- A battle-lusting solder who refuses to speak while he’s killing.

- A womanizer/narcissist

There’s also Lady Sif, who plays the roll of The Girl, No Homo on Asgard.

Thor’s parents, who are supposed to be incredibly powerful and capable, are basically kneecapped for story purposes as well.

If you want to ask yourself “why is Thor 2011 so irritating” it’s because it’s trying to tell a story despite the characters.

Well, actually...I lied.

It’s trying to tell TWO stories.

Oh yeah, that’s right.  This is where the plot thickens.

You see, when this movie came out, people were highly derisive because it was an unknown property.  Most people are familiar with Captain America (even if it was only the nightmare fuel movie from the 80′s) and they know who Iron Man is.  Even the Hulk is pretty ubiquitous, though the main issues with Hulk are tied to the fact that pretty every superhero film that came out in the early ‘00′s appeared to be contractually obligated to include an hour long origin story because apparently nobody in the history of anyone is familiar with comic books other than a handful of [insert comic book nerd stereotype here] and in order to make a cash cow, the superhero genre needed to be attractive to South-Park-and-Jackass-watching-teens in the mainstream. If I can remember the movie posters and commercials correctly, most of it was being billed as a pure-action flick with clips of the fight scenes and manly men punching faces, because that’s basically the male power fantasy right there.

No think, just rage and beat because he good guy self insert, and that bad guy.

So basically, the whole Asgard part of the movie is a movie in and of itself that’s being rushed through to hit specific plot points- it’s an origin story, telling you who Thor and the Asgardians are so that when they tell the story about Thor on Earth, the entire theater of (and let’s not kid ourselves, this is for an America-centric audience) macho suburbanite young adults who take one look at Thor in his weird costume and weird speech don’t then start making up emasculating terms to refer to him and then walk right out of the theater because the movie is too lame and genuinely nerdy to be comprehended by the apparent dude-bro majority.

This was yet again another example of “We need to make this popular with the wrong demographic for money purposes so we need to spoon-feed them non-threatening hyper masculine narratives so that they don’t take one look at a property that is in effect a magic buff dude with long fabulous hair wearing very little and flying around with a hammer over a rainbow bridge and talking like Errol Flynn while he does it.“

I mean, they tried (insert gold star meme here) by making Jane a scientist (with all the PhDs, because more degree is more smart amirite guyz?), and the meet cutes where she keeps running him over with the car is funny enough, but in the end, she is still falls into the “OMG LOVE INTEREST AFTER LESS THAN 24 HOURS MY HERO” category and that is...annoying.

I mean, it’s better than Lady Sif, who...let’s face it, we don’t care about because she doesn’t matter and I literally had to look up those other guys’ names up on Wikipedia after watching them all get merked in the first five minutes of Ragnarok.

In any case, the movie doesn’t really even end in a satisfying manner because it’s trying to tell two different stories, and the stories themselves don’t really work well with one another.  The whole Frost Giant/Loki part of the movie is largely just meant to be a hamfisted way to villain-code him from the beginning (if the blatant feminine coding doesn’t give that away).  And the part at the end where he dies is, as far as I can tell, supposed to be a tragic end for Loki. 

Of course, though, we all know Loki comes back, and characters in comic books are quite well known for dying and coming back from the dead when conveniently needed for a plot anyway, but you could definitely feel a huge tonal shift from the begining (Asgard/Jotunheim) to the middle (Earth) to the end (Asgard).  It’s almost worse than having an Asgard origin story with a focus there and then moving to the superhero story and ending there, but they needed to have an excuse for Thor to be in the Avengers, so...there ya go.

Watching this movie is like watching one movie on one channel, flipping over to find another movie you like better, and then flipping back at the end of the second movie to find yourself in the last fifteen minutes of the first film.  It’s jarring and the tonal change reduces the impact of the climax of the film.

In the end, the stories being told here are warring with themselves, which means that there are way too many unanswered questions, and a lot of the characters you’re supposed to hate/dislike (from a dudebro spoonfed perspective) end up becoming interesting and easy to fill in the blanks for.  Loki is a prime example of this.  His character does have a fair amount of screentime and his backstory has to be at least somewhat developed because it’s a driving force for the story of Thor’s hero journey.  Loki provides some of the conflict that keeps the story from stagnating, and his character contrasts well with the hyper-macho, entitled Thor character by having more feminine characteristics, being thoughtful, cunning, and making plans.  In a lot of ways, the intense love/hate (but still love one another) relationship between the two (and the “it’s not incest because my sibling’s adopted” porn trope) is one reason why people ship them so hard.

Loki is popular with a lot of AFAB folks because he represents a lot of common AFAB experiences- being smart, trying hard, yet still treated condescendingly and less than worthy by authority figures, and never good enough as The Dude Who Just Showed Up. A lot of people deeply identify with the casually abusive and dismissive way that Loki is treated, as though he is a monster, despite him trying so hard to be accepted.  He falls into the abusive family trope under the Scapegoat archetype, but in the movie, there are explicit plot points that try to explain why he “deserves” to be scapegoated (thanks mainstream dude bro movie focus groups!). His character is often treated as sinister and suspicious long before he actually behaves in an antagonistic manner, which doesn’t help things. A lot of how Loki is treated in the film follows very closely to how a misogynist society treats AFAB folks. 

Even if we discount the comic books and mythological lore, the bottom line is that this movie is designed to tell a certain story, and in this story, a certain type of person is lauded and shown as the example of Who To Be, and a certain type of person is reviled and minimized and shown as an example of Be Afraid Of This And Don’t Be This Or You Are Evil Garbage. This mirrors how marginalized people are treated in society so heavily that it makes a lot of sense why Loki is so beloved by fandom despite not being the focal character of this film, and why people have often deeply identified with Loki or associated deeply personal things with his character in fanart, fanfiction, and headcanons.  A lot of people see his character as an excellent place to do introspective work and to work through personal traumas.  I have also seen a fair amount of people look at Loki as a Sad Pale White Boi Who Needs to be Saved, which isn’t exactly true from a canon point of view, but I can see how there’s plenty of reasons to write or imagine the character that way, or to place him in situations where he can be validated or find romantic fulfillment.

Beyond Loki’s role in this film, you can definitely see that most of the characters are victims of the story they find themselves in, and this story is a Shakesperian tragedy coupled with easily digestible Hit Bad Guys With Hammer action segments.  In a way, I would almost consider something like the Asgardian parts to have been better suited to a mini series, while the actual superhero movie part would be Thor being sent to Earth and then doing a Thing there. But that wasn’t really a thing back in 2011.

Thor is a very, very long, convoluted film because of the two stories that it is trying to tell while pretending that it’s only one. It’s so long that the novelization actually ends during the fight in the desert on Earth. And, speaking of long, this post is too, so I think I’ll post this now and if there’s interest, I’ll talk about Dark World and Ragnarok in subsequent posts. 

Feedback, as always, is appreciated.

[bard-llama]

Omg I love this. 1) Ves knowing the hurdy gurdy!!! But literally only two really, really raunchy songs lmao. That's perfect.

2) Roche ABSOLUTELY learned to knit from his Mama. And I think he and Ves have their own stitch and bitch sessions, but ALSO - Stripes-wide knitting contests? Who is the judge? Do they all knit or just some of them? What absurd rules have they had to enact because of these crazy fuckers? Like 'no setting the knitting on fire for dramatic effect'?

Okay, now I gotta figure out who in the Stripes would knit.

Roche - definitely does, learned from his mama and the workers at the Clarabelle

Ves - knits and maybe also cross stitches or embroiders, but ONLY to write obsene things (think Dame Judi Dench lmao)

PT - oh yeah, he'd totally knit. It's something that can keep his hands busy and it's repetitve enough that it would help calm his anxious mind.

Silas - yeah, I could see Silas knitting. He grew up with TONS of sisters and was afab, so it's probably a skill at least some of them picked up at some point. Especially since he was not strong enough to help pound metal on the anvil. (His mama and oldest sister are smiths).

Shorty - Hmm. On the one hand, his life is so hectic, would he have TIME to knit? On the other hand, maybe it's something he only does on missions with the Stripes in their down hours and he makes cute lil gifts for his sixteen fucking children. (I will never get over that lmao)

Finch - Finch usually carves to keep his hands busy, but if someone stole his knife and wood and gave him yarn and needles instead, he would probably figure it out. But for him it's more... half-mindless? So he'd like, knit a scarf that's twelve feet long because he wasn't really paying attention. (Fenn would wear this scarf with honor, even though he is less than half of its height).

Fenn - mmm, I dunno. I think he would make really, really unhelpful suggestions while everyone else knits, but his issue is less keeping his hands busy and more keeping his brain busy. BUT on the other hand - he, Thirteen, and Silas would TOTALLY start knitting secret codes and messages into innocuous clothing lmao. Silas comes up with a whole formal language, but all Fenn and Thirteen do is write "I waz here" and "your mom sucks ass" over and over again. (It should be noted that neither of them can read or write, so they are trusting that Silas taught them the code accurately to SAY that. But they don't actually KNOW.)

Thirteen - hmm, maybe? He's more of a doodler, honestly. Also, he has a part of his left forearm that has been enchanted (and it cost him a pretty penny. Which he stole, so...) so that he can tattoo designs on himself and then 'erase' them and start over/change it up as needed. But, since he DEFINITELY considers himself to be the group's Artiste, he might be the judge.

I can’t copy the symbol on mobile, but quirks/hobbies for Ves?

okay so hear me out.

i think ves would really enjoy knitting. its something easy and mindless enough to give her something to do with her hands, but can also be carried from place to place, and be useful to a group of soldiers.

after a skirmish with the scoia'tael i think she could calm down and not feel like by sitting down shes not helping the group at all.

the blue stripes would most definitely appreciate well knit socks and blankets or wtv, and im sure she and roche (who i KNOW can knit. his mom taught him. she told me herself 😌) enjoying stitching and bitching together.

she can also play the hurdy gurdy but can only play two songs.....