#and yeah it’s another take on Sad Man Finds Magical Destiny Child so of course I loved it

[vvitchering]

Nimona was sooooo good ahhhhh I haven’t smiled and laughed during a movie that much in YEARS

[erazonpo3]

WOWM

so What Once Was Mine came out and I read it.

My General Thoughts are that this book was something of a rollercoaster but in like a pop up carnival with dubious safety regulations and diseases in the DIY log flume water kind of way. I had some fun reading it but I also feel like I picked up a rash.

If you're like me and you enjoy picking a book apart for morsels of interesting concepts then you might enjoy it, if you think holy shit why the fuck is a literal real historical serial killer in this book I need to see this then you might enjoy it, if you care about engaging plots and character beats then you probably won't.

If you want to ask me anything specific go ahead, but otherwise for more in depth thoughts: spoilers ahead

Basic Summary of the Plot

Okay so here's the deal. The story has the framing device of two siblings in a cancer ward, where one tells the other a story. I'll get into that later, but that's how it starts. Our actual story starts with a pretty long prologue: We learn that the King & Queen got the Moonflower thinking it was the Sunflower, Rapunzel was born with silver hair, and then baby Rapunzel kills a maid who accidentally hurt her when brushing her hair.

Oh, by the way, Max is a human man named Justin Tregsburg. Yeah.

Anyway, the royal family puts out feelers for legit witches who can safely take care of Rapunzel because the baby is too dangerous, and Gothel shows up to take her away. Queen Arianna visits Rapunzel once (but is only allowed to watch through a peephole) and decides watching another woman raise her child is too painful and throws herself into restoring the kingdom's orphanages instead.

Now we're in the present. Rapunzel is nineteen and she wants to go and see the lanterns (a mourning tradition of the Dead princess in this story). She tries to argue with Gothel but gets shut down, and Gothel makes her kill a chicken to prove the point that she can't go outside because she's too dangerous. However we as the audience already know Gothel plans to sell Rapunzel off as a bride or a servant or a weapon to some other nobles, because she's evil.

Also by the way Gothel still has access to our Sundrop Flower and is using it to live forever that's just a thing that happens in the background.

When Gothel is gone Rapunzel watches as a man (Flynn) stores a satchel in a tree outside of her tower, and that motivates her to leave the tower for the first time. Then she goes back inside the tower with her prize of a crown, and a skink she found and named Pascal. Rapunezl and Gothel have another spat, and Rapunzel decides she will run off to see the lanterns and she will find Flynn and make him her guide.

She ends up at the Snuggly Duckling and she doesn't find Flynn but she does find Gina, a young career criminal girl looking to break the glass ceiling. Gina agrees to help her find Flynn. They find Flynn, and he agrees to help guide Rapunzel to see the floating lanterns for a split reward of the crown with Gina.

The Snuggly Duckling gets burned down by Countess Bathory (yes that Elizabeth Bathory) and the Pub Thugs are pissed about it and also they're helping Rapunzel even though she didn't sing the I've Got A Dream song don't worry about it. We learn that the nobles that wanted to buy Rapunzel are now hunting her down so she can go to auction.

Gina takes them to her adopted mother's cottage. Gina's mother is a white witch, who goes by the name of Goodwife. She doesn't get an actual name she's just The Goodwife. Anyhow, the cottage is a magic safe space (for now) and Goodwife teaches Rapunzel that her hair isn't inherently evil and may not even be all that deadly! Rapunzel learns that her hair has other powers too, like the ability to turn skink Pascal into a sentient Chameleon. Yeah.

Also Goodwife tells Rapunzel she's the dead princess but this isn't like, an immediate call to action. Not a lot happens until we get this story's version of the Mother Knows Best Reprise where Gothel finds Rapunzel again but has to flee, but this Rapunzel has a bigger support network and isn't buying it. Flynn and Gina decide the safest course of action is to bring Rapunzel to the castle, but along the way she gets kidnapped by the Countess.

Gothel is pissed because she still wants the money for Rapunzel, so she rallies the armies of all the opposing bidders. Flynn and Gina convince Max the Man to send for his troops, and he joins them in going to the enemy castle. Flynn tries to sneak in, gets caught, and meanwhile there's a bloody battle out the front between the noble armies. Max jumps into the fray, Gina turns around and rallies the Pub Thugs.

Rapunzel uses her shrinking magic (!) to disappear half the castle and escape with Eugene, and the Pub Thugs arrive and basically end the battle. The Captain is dying but it's okay! Rapunzel turns him into a horse :) Also Rapunzel sees Gothel and tells her to fuck off.

The story ends with a tearful reunion between Rapunzel and her parents, Eugene and Gina are implied to be biological siblings, and things are good but of course in direct parallel to Cass Gina leaves at the end to become an adventurer. The end.

(There are a few other smaller plot beats, but you get the idea.)

MY THOTS

So here are my thoughts™.

Framing Device

I'll just state that I didn't like that the story was told via the vehicle of an older brother telling his 16 year old sister a different version of the Tangled Movie in a cancer ward. From what I've heard it also isn't normal for the Twisted Tales series to use a framing device for the AUs either.

I sympathise with the author's personal story, of course I do. That doesn't mean I'm stirred with compassion every time the flow of the story is interrupted to remind you to be sad because this is a story being told to a girl sick with cancer. It feels more than a little tragedy-porny rather than emotionally touching, and maybe that's because I'm too burnt out on real life tragedy to waste emotional energy on fictional cancer patients but we don't need to do Fault In Our Stars discourse again.

Real World References

This story goes heavy with Real World references. And another issue with the framing device as above is that you do feel like this is a story being told by someone namedropping every historical figure they know which makes it harder to get into the story.

There's like... a lot of references to Christianity, particularly in the prologue. There's a priest that thinks Rapunzel's hair is the work of the Devil or whatever. It's a lot. The Patriarchy is a thing. And that's not even getting into the Countess. I put it very succinctly in my notes so I'll paste it here:

I wish she’d just been an OC who could exist to chew scenery because the fact that she was a literal historical serial killer is super. Off putting. Like, she could have been an obvious reference to Bathory, but it feels like Miku Binder Hamilton levels of uncomfortable to me.

I miss Lady D.

Which basically sums up my problem with trying to take the setting of Tangled and put it somewhere in the Real World and somewhere on the Timeline. Who thought this was a good idea.

Misc. Thoughts

So, I used the five highlighter colours my ipad allows to organise my thoughts and organised them accordingly: Yellow for out of place IRL references, Blue for worldbuilding/character points that aren't plot relevant but still interesting, Pink for when something I find personally amusing happens, Purple for when the story feels like it's trying to 1-up the movie in some kind of way and Green for Heterosexual Nonsense. I'll touch on those last two in the Character sections but be prepared.

Also: for a book about giving Rapunzel killer hair, her hair isn't very dangerous. I wanted to see Rapunzel kill someone, and I'm disappointed that I didn't.

Characters

I'll do a deep dive into my thoughts about the characters before wrapping it up. I'm starting with Gina because she's honestly the easiest to get through.

Gina

Gina is a new character introduced for the story. She's a young woman trying to make it as a career criminal but keeps hitting that glass ceiling. So here's the down low, for all those who want to know: Gina is basically Cass, only not really. She's implied to be Eugene's biological sister, as previously mentioned, but you can imagine she's Cass the entire way through without breaking your immersion because if you imagined Cass if she were adopted by a Goodwitch rather than the Captain and had a looser, more wilderness survivor than trainee guard upbringing then you get Gina.

I liked Gina! I think she's fun as her own character too, and her best moments are when she's interacting with her mother Goody Goodwife, and she of course picks up a natural sibling rivalry with Eugene, but I was disappointed with how little she really bonded with Rapunzel because she needed to make room for Eugene and Rapunzel's romance.

Rapunzel

Okay, here's our protagonist. There's a notable effort to make Rapunzel more active in her destiny and whatever, and sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't. I was worried they'd try to go full butt-kicking girlboss with her but I was pleasantly surprised that Rapunzel was pretty useless in most scenes, genuinely love to see it.

With a more intimate look into Rapunzel's psyche through the medium of prose, we see Rapunzel really questioning Gothel's behaviour even before she leaves the tower, and while I appreciate that she can develop her own cynicism I feel it starts unnecessarily early. This is my purple colour; the movie needs to be "fixed" by showing the readers that this Rapunzel is quicker to distrust Gothel. She's also quicker to hatch a plan to go outside of the tower on her own, and she makes a plan to make Flynn her guide for the lanterns even though he never stumbles upon her in the tower- and even though she has a perfectly rational reason not to trust him which is that he is a stranger and a Wanted Thief.

In the moments where it does work is when Rapunzel is surrounded by her new support network: Flynn, Goodwife and Gina, who encourage her to question Gothel's sincerity, and Rapunzel comes up with her own defences for Gothel so that she can poke through them herself.

I have some other thoughts about Rapunzel's hair and her powers, like how the story provides the interesting concept that her hair gets different powers with the different phases of the moon, but a lot of the powers are uhhh stupid and also I feel like it really robs the story of the whole gripping conflict of "Yes I'm Rapunzel Yes my hair kills people what of it".

In as far as just Rapunzel herself though, she still felt pretty in character nonetheless, and maybe that's all I can ask.

Flynn Rider / Eugene Fitzherbert

My boy I am so sorry. They neutered my boy.

Long story short: Eugene in this story is the sexy lamp. He contributes nothing to the plot except to be there for Rapunzel to drool over. And of course because he won't get any character development, he starts from the very beginning as a sweet soft boi with none of the Flynn Rider characterisation from the movie because we don't have time for that, he needs to be husband material stat.

His whole character is the colour green for Heterosexual Nonsense.

So, here's the problem. In the movie, there's not a lot of time for ~friendship~ between Rapunzel and Eugene because they kind of immediately see each other as a romantic prospect. And whatever, it's a movie and there's only so much time. But this book had the opportunity to take things a bit slower and instead chooses to make Rapunzel get jealous whenever Eugene and Gina interact and for her to be constantly wishing he was holding her hand.

Say what you will about Lost Lagoon, but it tells a good romance story just by virtue of not intending to be a romance story, because the author is trying to convey a strong bond between Rapunzel and Cassandra without using "and they kiss" as a cheatcode. What Once Was Mine says "he was a boy, she was a girl, could it be any more obvious?" and leaves it at that.

Now as for how this all pertains to Eugene's character? Well, it just robs him of any flavour. In the movie there's a clear distinction between Flynn and Eugene, when we learn Eugene's real name about halfway through. We see a clear difference between the Flynn we knew- kind of an asshole, wanated to drop Rapunzel off at the Snuggly Duckling and get rid of her- and Eugene, who is sincere and chooses Rapunzel as his New Dream in opposition to his Old Dream of living alone on an island with a bunch of money.

This version of Eugene is basically Eugene all the way through, because the plot doesn't really need Eugene there but he has to be there because it's a Tangled AU so there's no Rapunzel rescuing Flynn from the guards and healing his hand scene, he just loves her immediately and that's that. They have a little spat at one point but it's cleared up later and not because they actually communicate but because they kiss.

Rapunzel only learns Eugene's real name at the very end of the story, and gives a speech about how Eugene is the real him, but it's just so flat because 'Flynn' has been sincere this whole time? Anyway he does nothing of value for the entire story except be there for Rapunzel to lust after. Eugene I'm so sorry.

Gothel

Gothel's sort of the Big Bad and is characterised as an abusive asshole, the usual. I wish there were a bit more nuance to her character but then again in this story she's not just being passively evil- taking care of Rapunzel for selfish reasons but nevertheless maintaining the status quo- she's being actively evil in trying to sell Rapunzel off.

It's notably funny that Gothel sees the Countess Bathory and is like "what the fuck".

Anyway Gothel in this story also feels very weak in part because this Rapunzel is more critical and in part because this Rapunzel has a new support network. It's for that reason the Mother Knows Best Reprise scene doesn't really work, because the original has Gothel pit Rapunzel against Eugene, whereas she can't do that here so it remains a Gothel vs Rapunzel thing.

She gets a boring death as an epilogue addendum that someone rips out the Sundrop flower, which tbh? lame. It would be a lot more fun if it were open ended but I am also preferential to Rapunzel actually using her killer hair to kill someone. Please

Captain Justin Tregsburg

It's Max. He was a human but then he got turned into a horse. what the fuck you guys

[deadmomjokes]

ooh I'm so curious about your boon now. how myc of it are you willing to disclose? what's the setting? how does magic work?

I’m so flattered anybody’s interested in it at all! ^.^

I confess, I’m super, irrationally paranoid about idea theft, so I don’t share a ton of details outside of my writing group and alpha/beta readers, but I’m trying to get past that, so I’ll share a little bit and see if I can talk my anxiety down to sharing more later. Basically I say this to apologize for the fact that I’m being a bit vague here. It’s not because I’m offended you asked or anything, I’ve just got some issues of my own.

So the basic premise in a really shortened, simplified, and condensed version is as follows:

About 15 years before the story begins, there was a war with an evil sorceress. She basically converted all the other magicians to her side and they were just absolutely annihilating everyone. Three countries formed an alliance and ended up taking her out. Huzzah, day saved! The story picks up right before a big festival in honor of the 15th anniversary of the alliance’s formation. The alliance, while originally a military compact, has kind of spread into a trade compact as well.

The main character is the right hand to the King who initiated the alliance in the first place. His name is Ayris. He has no last name (other than his title, “Kingsman”) because he more or less washed up on shore and the King found him. He was kidnapped as a child from his home country by some of the sorceress’s goons and had his memory wiped and they intended to bring him to the Sorceress as a kind of sacrifice. Because he’s super magic. Only after they left is when the alliance was formed and so they had no idea that the war had ended and their boss was dead. They get home and go “oh crap,” and the King rescues this little boy and goes “oh crap” because this kid is magic, and people are kind of super duper against magic right now on account of the fact that magic folks just tried to wipe them all out. But he’s a big softie and doesn’t want anything to happen to this kid so he takes him in to keep him safe. Over the years, he realizes Ayris has a talent for fighting and is super smart and super observant, so he promotes him from ward to his bodyguard, and then to a kind of all-around advisor.

And that’s where Ayris starts his journey: Content with being his King/adoptive father’s right hand man, and hiding his magical abilities because if anyone knew he’d more or less get burned at the stake.

The complications?

First, one of the nations in the alliance is super xenophobic, and they don’t like that Ayris is a “foreigner.” Even though the poor kid has no memories other than the country in which he now lives. But he ~looks different~ too- he has dark skin, white hair, and blue eyes, in a country full of tan-ish average white folks- so there’s no hiding the fact that he’s not originally from here. So he’s got to deal with all that while still acting as the King’s right hand, which means he cannot avoid the xenophobes’ leader because he’s gonna be right there with the guy the whole time.

And, of course, we have the Big Problem: The Sorceress managed to survive, as most evil magicians will, of course, and she’s back because she has a score to settle. Specifically with Ayris’s King, who dealt the ‘killing’ blow. Which, another major subplot: Ayris does not know that. He has a Batman code about killing. He refuses to take a life, and as far as he knows, the King shares that determination, because he’s very vocal about talking things out instead of resorting to violence. All that is a very formative concept for Ayris. So when he finds out that his King saw no other way to deal with things and resorted to straight up killing, he has... a LOT to process. Because....

The issue is that the Sorceress needs batteries, essentially. She’s almost out of power just from sustaining her spirit for a decade and a half. So she subsumes all the kids who had been born magic and didn’t know it since her downfall, only surprise! When she reaches out to snatch them, she finds a grown man! Ayris is all like, “Excuse? Who are you and what do you want with all these small children?” and she’s like, “Excuse? I ate all the magicians last time.” and he’s like “I beg your pardon?” Because it turns out that after she turned the magicians to her side, she decided that was too much a liability and so she snatched all their powers, killing them. Why did she decide they were a liability? Another subplot! A few of them resisted her and tried to break free of her control, but it went horribly wrong and only one of them survived, but was totally severed from her magic powers. We actually meet that character- she’s a major foil (and hardcore frenemy) for Ayris.

BUT ANYWAY

The Sorceress and Ayris are now more or less linked because of the way magic works in this world, and she’s bent on turning him or controlling him because he’s pretty dang powerful. (Which is why her goon squad kidnapped him in the first place.) She has all kinds of tricks and is basically pushing buttons from the inside to break him down, so he’s dealing with an evil lady in his head who’s attached to his powers. So of course the easiest way to isolate and mess with him would be to mess with his magic and make it hard to control. So he’s trying to keep the King safe from her hit squad, make nice with the xenophobes, and hide his powers despite this chick messing with him and trying to out him. They also have to find a way to get rid of her before she builds her army up again and goes for Round 2, and find a way to get her out of his head before she manages to take him over like she did to all the other magic folks last time.

As for how magic works, it’s described in text as a second world laying over the top of this one. Most people exist in only one world, the one you where your body is, and that’s where their soul lives, too. But some people are born with part of their soul in the other world, called the Tapestry. These people have the ability to manipulate things in the physical world because of this connection to the Tapestry. They also have an inherent connection to everyone else who is a part of the Tapestry, hence how the Sorceress can consume peoples’ power and influence them so easily. Of course, doing anything to influence or harm others in the Tapestry was always taboo, she’s just the first that managed it on a large scale and escaped the punishment.

Powers could be more or less unlimited in type and scope, but because you still exist in the physical world as well, you’re bound by your body. What happens to you in the physical happens to you in the Tapestry, and vice versa. So if you kill someone’s Tapestry self, their body dies. If you hurt someone’s physical body, their Tapestry self is also hurt. (The sorceress managed to discover a way to separate her physical and Tapestry selves, and that’s how she escaped death.) But the point is, doing magic takes energy from your body, so the more and bigger you do, the harder it is, and you could, in theory, kill yourself if you tried something big enough.

Most magicians have a specific kind of magic that comes most naturally for them, so they would often specialize. Anyone can do any kind of magic, but individuals would often train in what “called to them” most. So one guy might specialize in telekinesis, another might specialize in all things water, one might specialize in healing humans, etc. The only kind of magic that was forbidden was altering or influencing peoples’ minds or will, and that’s what made the sorceress evil- she felt drawn to/called by Feelings, other peoples’ emotions. She was a natural empath, and wanted to turn that into manipulating how people felt and thought in order to settle conflict, but that was forbidden. She didn’t want to be controlled, so she ran away from the others, started exploring and experimenting on her own, and started messing with things that she shouldn’t have and ended up kind of warping her own sense of justice and morality by toying with things she couldn’t control or understand. So now she’s bent on domination and subjugation of people who won’t willingly listen to her, all in the name of trying to bring peace and balance and justice (which was the code of the magical order she belonged to).

I know that’s long to be a summary, but this is a very, VERY long and complex story. To the point that this is going to be two books minimum. I’m about 15 chapters into the first one and working on the first round of structural edits so I can get on to writing the back half of it (more like the back 3/4, like I said, this is going to be a LONG story).

Oh, you also asked about setting! I confess to yet another late-Middle Ages European base, but culturally I tried to diversify more. The country of Xenophobes is a polytheistic theocracy with notions of manifest destiny that they’re just barely holding back on because they’re friends with the neighbors now. The country the story takes place in is culturally not super religious, and highly tolerant for the most part, which is why it’s so sad that everyone turned against the idea of magic. The third country straddles the line between the hyperconservative and frankly quite annoying theocracy and the (moderately agnostic) more liberal, understanding nation to their south. They also have a pantheon, but they allow religious freedom (also, fun tidbit, their King is gay and has a husband and an adopted son); however, they don’t allow women in combat (whereas the country Ayris is a part of does), and the people are generally more skeptical of foreigners than Ayris’s country is (except their king; he LOVES Ayris and is more or less the fun uncle).

So yeah! Book One is Ayris discovering a lot about himself, magic, and the past, and dealing with the fallout from that, and trying to find a way to protect himself and his King. And Book Two is the bigger, multinational conflict and inevitable war, and Ayris dealing with the sorceress attacking him personally and trying to find a way to stop her while the world starts falling apart around him. I don’t want to say too much more because some Stuff Goes Down in the first book that’s influential to the second one, but also kind of a surprise at this point.

Thanks for listening and letting me gush. I’ve been working on this story-- the concept, worldbuilding, and then the actual writing of it-- for a cumulative 8 years now. It’s my baby almost as much as my actual baby, and I’m very protective of it and also terrified of letting anyone see it. The mortifying ordeal of being known and all that. (Luckily my writing group is super helpful, patient, and kind!)

[mystical-flute]

Home is Wherever I’m With You: Chapter 4

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As they’d settled in for bed the night before, Emma had told them of a weird older man with a cane collecting money. Neal had known immediately who it was. A man with a cane, collecting money with the name Gold ? Yeah. It had to be his father. His suspicions were only confirmed that morning when he’d asked where to find Mr. Gold and the waitress at the diner had almost spilled her pot of coffee all over herself in her fear and surprise, stammering out directions to the pawn shop before hastily rushing to check another table.

Of course his father would end up with the name Gold if he was cursed to another world. The only problem was… if the people in this town were cursed to forget who they were, did that mean his father lacked his memories too?

Neal hadn’t immediately thought of that when he’d thought about how to get Emma to Storybrooke. Honestly, he’d almost forgotten about that little promise to August entirely, and his father seemed like as good of an excuse as any to get them to the town.

So, he needed a plan to see if his father had found a loophole or not. He was Rumpelstiltskin after all, and despite his uneasy feelings towards the man, Neal knew one thing was certain, and that was his father loved a good loophole.

His stomach was in a knot as he made his way through the town, looking around at the people, all cursed, living a lie.

He recognized none of them. How long had it been since he’d left for The Land Without Magic? Where was - his stomach clenched again - where was Morraine?

“Oh darn it! I could have sworn I put it back in here!” a woman groaned, distracting him from his thoughts.

He blinked, shaking his dark thoughts from his mind and glanced at the woman sitting on a bench outside a boutique.

“Hey, everything alright?”

The woman looked up, and it took everything in Neal to not gape at her. Her eyes were the exact same shade as Emma’s, her chin the same shape.

“Oh, yes, I think so I just… I think I lost my credit card is all,” the woman said, frowning as she shuffled through her purse again. “It’s a shame too, I was hoping to buy some new clothes today.”

Neal frowned a little. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you just left it at home?” he suggested.

“I must have. It’s just the strangest thing. I could have sworn I put it back in my wallet after I paid my bills…” she murmured, taking another look through her purse before sighing again. “Sorry, do I know you?”

He shook his head, giving her a lopsided grin. “No, probably not. My family and I are new in town. We’re here for the weekend.”

“Visitors? Really?” the woman seemed surprised as she rose to her feet and slung her purse over her shoulder. “I don’t think we’ve had a visitor since…” she frowned then. “Well, as long as I can remember.”

There was something about that phrase that made his stomach shift uncomfortably again. “Really? No idea why. It’s a beautiful town. You guys could make a lot of money in the tourist industry. I should set up my camera and take a bunch to show my bosses.”

“You’re a photographer?”

He nodded. “Yeah, in Boston, but I get sent up and down the coast for work all the time.”

“Sounds like an exciting life,” she said with a kind smile. “I should get going. It was nice to meet you - ”

“Cassidy. Neal Cassidy. And it was nice to meet you too…”

“Mary-Margaret Blanchard.”

Neal smiled. “Mary-Margaret.”

With a small wave, the woman turned and headed in the opposite direction, while Neal continued to the pawn shop.

He looked up at the sign swaying slightly in the cool breeze. He knew, technically, that he’d only aged 15 years since he’d last seen his father, but… with how long he’d spent in Neverland, it had to have been much longer than that.

His hands shook as he pushed the door open, the bell betraying any going back now as the sound of the cane drew near.

Neal had never even practiced what he’d say to his father after he saw him again after so long. Frankly, he never thought he would ever see this day, but being tangled up with The Savior - whatever vague title that was - meant confronting the past he thought he left behind.

As his father rounded the corner, Neal felt almost breathless. There was no more gold skin, no more lizard-like eyes, no insane giggling or waving his hands.

Just Papa.

“Are you Mr. Gold?” Best to start simply, right?

“I am indeed. Can I help you with something?”

Neal swallowed heavily, looking around the shop, and froze when he saw the familiar ball behind the glass case. “You still have it… I can’t believe it,” he murmured.

Papa frowned, following his gaze. “The ball? It’s familiar to you?”

“It - it was mine. A long time ago…”

“That’s impossible, dearie. This ball has been in my possession as long as I can remember. And I certainly don’t remember you.”

That hurt, but Neal tried to not let it show on his face. “This town sure makes a change from the Frontlands,” he remarked casually. “With the rolling hills and the little huts all over the place and the terrifying thought of being a child soldier.”

“You can’t be - ”

“But most of all, I remember dangling over a portal, begging you to come with me to the Land Without Magic. Wanting you to be better. Thinking you would do it for me .”

The cane clattered to the floor.

“Bae?”

He nodded slowly. “It’s me, Papa.”

“Oh - oh my boy… I thought - I was so afraid I’d never find you again…”

“You’re not cursed?”

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head. “No, I woke up last night when I met the Savior. But how did you find this place?”

“About ten years ago I ran into a man. He knew who I was and explained everything to me. He told me I needed to leave Emma, but I managed to convince him that I’d get her back here to her family. To help you all.”

“He - he knew everything? I didn’t see that at all… but - you knew the savior? How?”

Neal held up his hand, his wedding band glinting in the light. “I guess destiny has a funny way of bringing me back to you, because I fell in love with her and married her.”

Rumpel looked like he was about to pass out, gripping the counter tighter. “M - married?!”

“Papa, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Is it really so bad that I’ve gotten married? I’m 28 for God’s sake.”

“It’s not your wedding that’s surprising me, Bae. This isn’t the future I saw before the curse, Bae. I saw her alone, being led here by her son… Now I understand why Mr. Gold was attempting to convince the mayor to adopt a boy instead of a girl. I thought something was wrong .”

Neal frowned. “So - so that means we changed the future?”

Rumpel nodded slowly. “Yes. And now there’s no telling what might happen.”

A low whistle escaped him. “Okay… then I guess we go with whatever the cards are going to deal us.”

“I don’t like the thought of that.”

The word ‘coward’ was on the tip of Neal’s tongue, but he held it back. “Papa, this is what everyone else deals with. Welcome to the Land Without Magic. Or, the Land Without Psychic Powers.”

Rumpel sighed. “I suppose I’ve lived twenty-eight years without my powers. But still… who knows what else might change about the curse.” He leaned back, tapping his fingers against the counter. “Though, it might not matter seeing as there have already been some - Baelfire, get in the back room.”

“What? Why?”

“Just do it. I will explain later. Keep yourself hidden.”

Neal stared at the clipped tone his father was using, but wordlessly obeyed, moving behind the curtain, and moments later, the bell chimed again as someone entered the shop.

“Good morning, Madam Mayor, Roxana. What can I do for you today?”

“Roxana noticed you had a Mickey Mouse statue in your inventory last night when we were walking by. Do you still have it?” a woman’s voice asked.

“Oh, yes, I believe you’re talking about this one, is that right?”

Neal kept himself hidden behind a shelving unit as he kept listening to the conversation, until the woman asked to step outside with his father. Neal frowned at that, something in his gut not trusting this “mayor”, but still, he remained hidden. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to hide from someone, after all.

One might call him an expert at hiding places.

“Who are you?”

Except when it came to kids, apparently.

Neal gave the girl a wary look. “Neal. Who are you?”

“Roxana Mills. I’m the mayor’s daughter. What are you doing back here?”

“Mr. Gold offered to help me look for something, but he got sidetracked when you and your mom came in.”

“You’re not from here.”

Shit, the kid was good. “No, I’m not. I came here with my family from Boston.”

“Is Emma with you?”

How did she know about Emma?!  “Uh - ”

“Roxana! What are you doing back here?”

A woman appeared - Madam Mayor he realized - with his father taking up the rear.

“I was just talking to his man, mom…”

The mayor looked up, surprised. “Oh… I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Neal kept his voice even. “We haven’t, I’m not from here. My family and I were just taking a weekend away from the big city. Neal Cassidy.”

“Regina Mills, the mayor. What brings you to Mr. Gold’s though?”

Neal frowned a little. “I was looking for something - a family artefact my father stole when he abandoned me. I was hoping it’d be here. Sounds crazy, I know, but I’ve been looking for years and I’m desperate.”

That seemed to trigger a reaction in Regina, although she masked it quickly. “Oh. I see. Well, I hope you find it. We won’t take up anymore of your time. Come on, Roxana.”

Roxana gave Neal a small wave before retreating with her mother.

His father waited for a moment, until the door closed firmly before speaking. “That lie was perfectly crafted.”

“I’m pretty good at coming up with cover stories,” Neal said with a shrug. “It’s how I’ve survived this long. Speaking of long… Papa, how long has it been since that night?”

His father’s gaze darkened slightly. “Bae -”

“It’s Neal.”

“... Neal, don’t think about that. Just focus on helping your wife break the curse, and how we’re reunited.”

“ How long , Papa?”

His father looked sad as he answered. “It’s been three-hundred years.”

Neal felt his legs buckle, barely catching himself on an empty display case. “Three - ?!”

“Morraine lived a long, happy life, Bae. I watched out for her, when I could. Her descendant ended up being crowned the king of Corona.”

His eyes closed. Dead. His best friend from the Enchanted Forest was dead. Neal knew that was a possibility - time never moved in Neverland, after all, but three hundred years… there was no one in the village left alive.

It was no wonder he hadn’t recognized anyone so far in Storybrooke.

He took a deep, calming breath and looked up at his father. “Three-hundred years. And… I assume you’re still the Dark One if you managed to avoid death this long.”

“I am.”

“God, seriously? I’ve been gone for three-hundred years and no one figured out how to break your curse?!” Neal asked.

“I just wanted to find you. You are my son, I would live a thousand years if it meant figuring out where you were…” his father replied. “When you become a father -”

“I have.”

Rumpelstiltskin blinked several times. “You what?”

“I have a son. He’s ten. And Emma and I are working on adopting our foster daughter.”

“A daughter and a son… oh my boy, I’m so happy…”

“They don’t know that’s why we’re here. I just told them we were on a road trip.”

His father furrowed his brows. “You - didn’t tell them? What about Emma?”

“Emma knows I wanted to see you, but she doesn’t know about the curse.”

“Why not?”

“Because dad, telling my wife I’m the son of Rumpelstiltskin and she’s the savior of a magical land of fairy tales sounds a bit crazy to say even for me!” Neal snapped. “Why was it Emma, anyway? Why not someone else?”

His father adjusted the grip on his cane. “Because the curse was cast as an act of revenge against Emma’s mother. Their only option was to send Emma to this world to save her, and them. Her mother was supposed to come with her, but your darling wife decided to make her debut early,” his father flashed his hand like he’d done as the Dark One and Neal felt his teeth clench. “Although, that wardrobe was supposed to fit two, so I still don’t fully understand why she didn’t have her mother with her.”

Neal closed his eyes. “August.”

“What?”

“He’s the man I was telling you about before. The one who knew who I was and knew Emma needed to get here to break the curse,” Neal explained with a frown. “He was supposed to be Emma’s guardian but…”

“But?”

“Emma and I were both living on the streets when we met. We had to steal to make ends meet, alright? It’s not easy just popping into a new world when you don’t have any sort of ID, or when you’re an orphan that’s been abandoned by almost everyone in your life.”

“How are you alive, Baelfire?” his father asked, dread in his voice.

“The portal dropped me in London originally. I stayed there for a few months with a family called the Darlings… but then Pan found them.”

His father went white.

“I went in place of Wendy’s little brother. You were right, Papa. It was hell. Between Pan and Hook… I don’t know which one was worse.”

“Hook. You met Hook?”

“He saved me. He and his brother let me stay on his ship until I found out the truth about Mama and he figured out I was your son. He made a deal with the Lost Boys and they took me away,” he explained, clenching his fists. “I only got back to this world fifteen years ago… and I met Emma four years later.”

Rumpelstiltskin looked a little overwhelmed. “You suffered so much. Oh Bae, this isn’t what I wanted for you. Because of my cowardice… you suffered a great deal.”

Neal looked around the crowded back room of the shop. “Despite everything, I wouldn’t change it. Emma and the kids are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“That’s fatherhood, my boy…” he replied, reaching for his hand. Neal accepted, squeezing it gently. “I’m just glad to know you’re okay.”

The silence that settled over the room was comfortable as Neal stood with his father, reunited at long last.

-----

This town was something out of a cheesy Lifetime movie, Emma was quickly beginning to realize. There was a bakery, a newspaper office with a fading sign, an animal shelter, a garage that Emma could just picture being the framing for a “high society city girl meets rugged small town boy” Christmas movie.

It was fine, but it left Emma almost feeling antsy. Small towns had never been her favorite when she’d been in the system. Everyone knowing everyone’s business was not the idea of a good time for her.

But Neal had wanted to meet his father, and while Emma still didn’t fully understand why considering what he’d told her about the man, she had of course agreed.

The kids seemed to be enjoying themselves, at least, although she noted Audrey was more quiet than usual.

“Where’s Dad?” Henry asked as the trio idly strolled down the Storybrooke streets.

“He went to get some pictures for work. You know how he gets when he’s in the zone with his camera,” Emma replied, the lie slipping easily from her tongue.

Henry laughed. “Yeah… hey, maybe we can go to that food truck for lunch instead of Granny’s. It’s in the parking lot of the arcade…”

“You just want to go to the arcade, don’t you?” Audrey asked with a small smile.

Henry simply shrugged.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Alright, we can eat at the food truck for lunch.”

“Do you think we could go to the bakery too?” Audrey asked.

“Yeah, of course we can. We might as well check out what this little town has to offer, right?”

“Emma?”

The voice sent a cold streak of fear down her back. No. It couldn’t possibly be her , could it?

“It is you, isn’t it?”

Damn it all, of course it was.

“Mom, who’s that?” Henry asked quietly.

Emma shook her head, pulling her wallet out and slipping Henry and Audrey each a $20. “Don’t worry about it. Why don’t you meet me at the arcade, huh? I’ll call your dad and let him know where we’ll be.”

The two gave her a look of concern, but went off in the direction of the arcade.

“What the hell, Ingrid?” Emma asked, whirling around to face her former foster mother before stumbling back in shock. “How - what?”

She looked like she hadn’t aged a day.

“Oh, it’s that sweet country air sweetheart,” Ingrid said, giving Emma a wide smile. “It’s so, so wonderful to see you again.”

“You should be in prison for what you did to me.”

Ingrid stepped back. “But… Emma, I didn’t mean to harm you. I just wanted you to reach your true potential… and now you’re here on your 28th birthday, just like it was written…”

“By shoving me into oncoming traffic? I loved you, Ingrid. I really thought you could be my family! And what the hell do you mean by my birthday? My husband wanted us to come here to see his father, that’s all.”

“His father is rumored to be the Dark One. Emma, you shouldn’t be with him.”

Emma saw red. “You don’t know a damn thing about my husband, or about me! Just stay away from me.”

Without giving Ingrid room to speak, Emma stomped off in the direction of her children.

“Are you okay, Emma?” Audrey asked, sitting at a picnic table, a grilled cheese in front of her. Snoopy was at her feet, looking up with wide eyes.

Emma exhaled, bending down to scratch Snoopy behind the ears. “Yeah, I’m alright Audrey. Just saw someone I didn’t expect to see.”

“Why didn’t you want Henry and I to meet her?”

“Because she was from a part of my past I’d rather forget,” Emma admitted. “Where is Henry, anyway?”

“He’s inside. I asked him if he was hungry, but he said he just wanted to play games.”

Emma sighed. “He takes after his father too much. Alright, I’ll go get him. You’re good here?”

“I have grilled cheese and french fries. What could be better?”

“Onion rings, for starters,” Emma smirked, before retrieving Henry from the arcade. “Hey kid, come on, let’s get something to eat.”

She was surprised to see Henry engrossed in a book with a girl around his age.

“Henry?”

“Oh! Hi Mom!”

“Who’s your friend?” she asked with a smile.

“This is Roxana. She’s got a cool book of fairy tales! You’re in here too!”

Emma let out a soft laugh. “Let me guess, I’m the Swan Princess because my last name growing up was Swan?”

“No, you’re the savior who’s going to break the curse on this town,” Roxana explained, beaming.

Emma blinked several times, trying to register what the girl said. “Yeah… okay kid.”

“But you are!” Roxana insisted, flipping to the back of the book. “Look! That’s you, right? Henry said you have a blanket just like that!”

Emma squinted a little, but looked down at the book, feeling her heart stop when she saw the familiar blanket.

That couldn’t be right. That was insane.

“Look, Roxana, I don’t think I’m the right savior for the job. I don’t have magic, I don’t know how to use a sword or anything else these fairy tale characters can do,” Emma explained gently. No sense is breaking a stranger child’s heart after all. “Now, Henry and I really do have to go, okay?”

Roxana nodded a little, before brightening. “It was nice to meet you Henry, Emma!”

Emma smiled and led Henry out of the arcade. She sent Neal a quick text asking him if he wanted anything from the food truck. He’d texted her back saying it was okay for them to come by and meet his dad.

Emma, frankly, was in shock their meeting had gone well, but agreed.

“Mom, where are we going?” Henry asked. “And why do you have two orders from the food truck?”

“Maybe Neal was just that hungry. They do have great grilled cheese and fries,” Audrey joked.

She laughed as Henry pushed the door to the shop open.

“Hey you three,” Neal said with a wide smile. “Henry, Audrey, Emma… this is my father, Arthur.”

“Grandpa?!” Henry cried with a wide smile. “This is awesome!”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Audrey said, her voice a little distant.

Emma simply gave him a curt nod, not early as trusting. “Here’s your food.”

“Thanks Em.”

“Ah, I recognize you now,” Arthur said. “You were the woman checking into the inn, right?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. You’re the one Ruby and Granny were afraid of.”

“That is the downside of being a landlord, I’m afraid,” he mused, taking a bite out of the chicken sandwich she’d ordered for him. “Ah… Audrey, wasn’t it? Did you see something you’d like?”

Audrey had stopped, frozen in front of a display case with a Pokemon plush inside of it. “Um. Yeah… that Vulpix doll. Can I have it?”

“Of course, free of charge,” Arthur said, pulling the doll out of the case and sliding it to her.

Audrey picked it up and immediately jolted back.

“Audrey?”

-----

“For God’s sake, Renata! I told you Audrey’s recital was tonight. What the hell were you thinking?!” Li snapped.

“Hey, I told you it was Lacey’s birthday and we were celebrating with Ruby!” Renata replied. “I promised I’d be there and I was!”

“In the middle of the show. Drunk as you three slid into the back of the auditorium. What if Audrey’s teacher had seen? She could have gotten kicked out of her program!”

Audrey cowered in her bed, her Vulpix doll clutched in her hands. She didn’t want to be here anymore. She couldn’t. She loved her moms, but she couldn’t stand the fighting.

She needed to run.

In the middle of the night, Audrey packed a small backpack of clothes and ran into the woods. No one had ever left Storybrooke before. But she had to. She needed to.

She managed to.

Audrey Dale was the one cursed individual who escaped from Storybrooke, but as with anything, magic came with a price.

Her memories of Storybrooke were stolen from her, and the lost little girl who stumbled up to the lobster shack only knew one thing:

Run.

“Audrey!”

She let go of the Vulpix, heart pounding against her chest.

“I have to go…” she whispered. “I can’t go back there.”

She bolted from Mr. Gold’s - God, how could she have forgotten Mr. Gold of all people?! - and ran for the familiar woods behind the shop.

She could hear Emma and Neal behind her, calling out for her and Snoopy howling in confusion, but she didn’t stop. She needed to get out of here. She couldn’t go back to the Dales. She wanted to stay with Emma and Neal, but she couldn’t stay here.

She didn’t realize there was a steep drop until she hit it, her ankle twisting the wrong way as she fell down the ravine.

“AUDREY!” Emma screamed, grabbing her hand and stopping her fall.

She trembled as her foster parents pulled her back up, pulling her into their welcoming, warm embrace.

“Audrey, it’s okay. We’ve got you.”

“Don’t send me back there,” she whispered. “Please…”

“We won’t…” Neal said. “But we do need to get you to the hospital.”

Audrey wanted to protest, but her mind was swimming, and instead, she slumped, defeated into Emma’s arms.

[kattahj]

Thoughts on The Last Wish (the first Witcher book)

Fair warning: this is decidedly mixed and with plenty of show-book comparisons that aren't always in the book's favour (though sometimes they are).

I wasn't at all sure that I wanted to read the Witcher books. I may love the TV show, but the question "Would I like to read a version of this written by a dude in the 80s and 90s, with less focus on the female characters, and the kind of fanboys who throw a hissy fit when black people appear on screen?" was answered with "well, maybe". Especially when I started The Last Wish and got anonymous boobs (in the faaaaace) on page 1.

But I kept reading and I kind of enjoyed myself.

See, I'm a sucker for twisted fairy tales, and a large portion of this book consists of such twisted fairy tales. We get full chapters for Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, and Hans-My-Hedgehog, as well as nods to Cinderella, Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, The Billy Goats Gruff, and probably more stuff that I've forgotten.

And yeah, it's action-heavy to the point of stupidity, and there's a lot of casual misogyny, but it's still fun. Even if it's fun I sometimes hate myself for having.

Take the Beauty and the Beast chapter as an example. On one hand, the Beast is cursed while he rapes a priestess, and his true love is a homicidal vampire who has to die (graphically, with a stake between her breasts) for him to turn back. On the other hand, there's a lot of fun anecdotes about how merchants send their daughters to the Beast's castle as a way for them to earn some money before they marry someone else, and it's also fun to read about what a loser Beast is. But I do think there's a reason this one was the only adventure not to make it into the TV show (yet).

And Renfri may be an uncomfortable mix of murderer, victim, and fuck buddy, but I can't help it, I still enjoy reading about a Snow White who curses every other sentence and shacks upp with robbers. (I'm really sad Marilka isn't in the book, though. I liked that cheerfully psychopathic little girl.)

It's interesting that the circumstances around their battle are different from the show. Stregobor has locked himself away, and through stuff people tell Geralt about Renfri's gang, he realizes that she means to capture people at the market and give Stregobor an ultimatum: come down to be killed, or she'll murder the civilians one by one until he does. So Geralt kills off her entire gang to protect the town, and then Renfri returns, saying that Stregobor just laughed at her and wouldn't come down. The two of them fight, and as she dies she tries to trick him into holding her so she can kill him. So, yeah, book Renfri is a piece of work and Geralt's moral dilemma is a little bit lighter on him.

In general, the tone is a lot more outright humourous than in the TV show. There are still serious moments, but they're fewer and further between. It's also a lot chattier. There is a LOT of dialogue - Geralt is more talkative, and so is everyone else. It works fine for written text, but so much of it is exposition or random jokes that I understand why they'd cut it for the screen.

The stories are more expanded upon than they are on screen, which of course in many cases lead to much needed and appreciated context. In others, I quite like the changes made for TV. The situation with the elves, for instance, originally depend on a rather Deus ex machina type of solution - I prefer the way the TV elves and Geralt talked things out. (Even though I thoroughly enjoyed the way the book has the Sylvan and Jaskier playing music together afterwards. That was cute.) But then, the scene in the show is more hopeful that there can be a way for the elves to survive and both species to coexist. In the book, it's more, "Yup, you're all going to die, and that sucks, but humans are racist fucks and there's nothing to be done about that."

The stories are still told non-chronologically, though the system of doing so is a bit easier than what the show does - there are standalone adventures and then a frame story inbetween of Geralt recuperating at the temple, with each adventure tying into some aspect of his stay there. I quite like these slower parts, they're much needed between all the monster fighting. But as I understand it, the first four adventures were originally published in magazines, and the frame story and final two adventures were added later. I do think it shows, as the mood is different, and the last two adventures also more tied into Geralt's background and relationships than the others.

It does get a bit weird that Geralt's relationship with Yennefer, and her desire to have a child, are detailed at length through dialogue with the priestess Nenneke before we even meet Yennefer in the final chapter, but I guess this is an effect of how the stories were published. This part of the book was published after Sword of Destiny, and I'm assuming we get more of Yennefer there, and that most of the readers would already have encountered her by the time we get this. Nevertheless, when read like this, it's clunky.

OTOH, there actually isn't an orgy going on when Geralt meets Yennefer, so I'm not sure why the show added that. In the book there are only erotic statues, and a very naked, very seductive Yennefer. I still got a bit of a "yikes" vibe from the scene, though, especially since it's the first introduction in person to her (after the exposition), while in the show we've already known her for several episodes at that point. And then we get a bit about how as a sorcerer she can be attractive but never truly beautiful, because sorcerers are ugly women who are made pretty by magic and thus she has "an ugly woman's evil and cold eyes". Double yikes.

Interestingly, where show Yennefer hates that Geralt has tied their destinies together, book Yennefer is totally charmed by it.

Jaskier is even dimmer than he is in the show and not half as endearing. His second wish to the djinn is another "yikes" moment. In the show he wishes for his lover to return to him "with open arms, a cheerful heart, and very little clothing", which is already a bit iffy, but in the book he wishes that a countess who rejects every man will let him fuck her, which is... oy. But that's par for the course for these stories, unfortunately. :-(

I do enjoy the gentle ribbing Jaskier and Geralt have going on. Their relationship feels a lot more mutual. I hope to see more of that in season 2.

I also hope to see Nenneke, who is a matronly priestess from the frame story who treats Geralt with a combination of contempt, tenderness, and medical care. 

I don't know what could be made of Iola, who is, as it later turns out, the owner of the anonymous pair of breasts on page 1. She's a younger priestess who has given a vow of silence, which means she gets to fuck Geralt and listen to his tales without ever interrupting by telling him anything about herself, or indeed having any sort of personality. I honestly don't know if that character could ever be made palatable, but I kind of half want to see them try.

And yeah, it IS pretty noticeable that the three female characters in the book who are most unambiguously good (Iola, Lille, Pavetta) have next to no dialogue.

The Swedish translation mostly works well. Sometimes there's dialect and/or archaic language, usually for humorous effect, not enough of it to be irritating. (And I'm guessing that's in the original as well.) Jaskier is called Riddarsporre (Larkspur) in translation, which I'm sort of fine with. It's certainly better than them ignoring diacriticals and thus calling the horse Plotka, which means rumour - the original name is Płotka, which as we all know means Roach. Different words! (Translated to Swedish, Płotka would be Mört, which isn't a GREAT name, admittedly.)

I can kind of see why these stories, testosterone-laden as they are, would have a bunch of annoying fanboys. At the same time I find their "but people CAN'T be black, it's SLAVIC FOLKLORE!" whining even more annoying now. Grimm Brothers aren't Slavic folklore, and without black people we wouldn't have my favourite Cinderella film (dude, the conniptions they'd have over the genetic mix in THAT royal family). Furthermore, Skellige in this version is ridiculously Irish. Like, so Irish I'm surprised it's not populated by leprechauns. Though they also have bagpipes, so maybe Gaelic is a better term. The Elvish language seems to be a mix of Romanic, Germanic and Gaelic languages. (Their name for themselves, Aen Seidhe, is of course related to the Irish aes sidhe, and the Sylvan is Roman.) And of course djinni and ifriti are Middle Eastern (though Aladdin is set in China in some versions). So it's pretty much "put all myths and fairytales in a pot and stir." And that’s fine, but you don’t get to be all “MINE! NO ONE CAN HAS!” about it.

To be fair, I can also see why people who AREN'T annoying assholes would be fans of these books. Especially if they can compartmentalize the sexism, alternatively lived in the 80s when even children's shows had lots of bikini babe extras. There's a lot of rather rowdy fun to be had, and some tenderness.

And yes, I have ordered the second book from the library. (Ebook sadly only available in Finnish. So if you live in Sweden and speak Finnish, you're in luck!)

[ur-mom-kayn]

Loyalty Chapter 37: The Shadow Owner

Akali Pov

What happened suddenly? Just before she could finally kill the noxious pig, her body stopped. She couldn’t do anything. While she was motionless, a mischievous smile appeared on Kayn's lips. "What did you do to me, you ass?" "Not me, but you upset my companion. Akio does not particularly like someone attacking one of his younger brothers. That's what you got yourself into." "Let me go!" Akali hissed. As if by magic, her right hand moved away from Kayn. She noticed that his companion made the same movement. What kind of technique was that? The guy was damn dangerous. Her whole body did not obey her. The guy had her completely under control. "Tell me. What kind of technique is that?" Kayn the bastard laughed very darkly. "That my love is the technique of shadow ownership." Just as Kayn uttered these words, she noticed that her shadow was linked to that of Akio. A discomfort spread in Akali.

"Akio has the affectionate epithet The Shadow Owner. He is able to set up his own will. You are at his mercy. Luckily he listens to my orders. Akio, please take the lady back to her seat." Akio nodded to Kayn and inevitably Akali had to do the same. She hated this situation more than anything else. She has never been so humiliated. While Akio took a few steps backward, Akali moved in the same motion. As she stood at the edge of the table, Akio jumped on the spot and freed her from the shadow shackles. She fell down uncontrollably on her ass. When she got up Kayn stood up and slammed his palms on the table. "What the fuck?! First, you disarm us at the entrance and now you attack us? The order will not be fooled!" Suddenly threatening, shadowy, red horns appeared over Kayn's head. Was that the Darkin in him?

The elders were scared to death in the presence of this beautiful monster. Nobody would have expected this look at Kayn. No one knew exactly how much he was still in control. "Please Kayn. Calm down again. The attack was not planned. I have to sincerely apologize to you for my student." Shen said. That could not be true. Akali did not regret her actions. In Ionia there was no room for Noxians and certainly not in the Council. Kayn took a deep breath and the horns disappeared. He then sat back down in his seat. "Another stupid move and we'll show you what Shadow Assassins are capable of," Kayn said. "Sry Kayn. It will not happen again." Irelia added. The bride must really have a crush on him. Even now that she knows he was a Noxian, she could not stop protecting him. Since the game night, he had wrapped her around the finger, even if he has fucked with Ahri.

"To come back to the subject now. Young man, are you really a Noxian or a demon? What was that before?" "I'm not a demon. I only share my body with a darkin. Unfortunately, he was banned earlier. And yes it is true. I am a Noxian. In the inversion, I was used at 10 years as a child soldier on Epul. Luckily, Master Zed found me. He gave me a home and made me become an Ionian from the ground up. I thought I'd get away with it, but unfortunately, my stupid uncle betrayed me." "I'm sorry, Kayn. I did not want to betray you. I just thought that you could spy on the Noxians. I did not want to make a sacrifice. Please accept a solid alliance with me as indemnity." "But Shen ... " Akali complained. "NOTHING BUT SHEN! You have already done enough. I do not want to hear a single word from you anymore. I will defend the coast with the order. Even though my father was against fighting Noxus, I will not let my brother hang again. If we do not help, it could be that the Noxians will invade deeper, as they did 8 years ago. That must stop!" All but Akali applauded Shen. She was tired of being commanded by him. It just went through the line that Zed always came before her. He keeps hiding private corridors to Zed or the fact that he was hiding a Noxian. That definitely went too far. Without hesitation, Akali left the conference. Now he can fight alone.

Shen Pov

After the conference, Shen went to see his student Akali. It had really cost him his nerves, which is why he actually shouted at her the first time. What did she think about the action? Kayn was a champion even without a day's work. An attack outside the rift was illegal. Only good that Akio could prevent the attack. His power was pretty scary, too. This stupid chest was never allowed to be opened. Now he had shadow doppelganger, shadow owner and Trespasser on the cheek. Before Shen made such an Order an enemy, he preferred to make common cause with Zed, even though it was against his moral concept.

At Akali's door, Shen knocked softly. "Fuck yourself, Shen!" He got an answer. "Please let us talk about it in peace. I beg you." Akali opened the door to him rather mischievously. With a look that could kill, she stared at him. "What do you want?" "Talk ... Why did you do that? Kayn did not hurt you. Besides, it was forbidden." "You're shitty serious? He is a rat in our ranks. He had to be eliminated. Want you seriously trust a Noxian under Zed's command?" "Yeah ... I was skeptical at first, but Kayn proved he was a good kid. Well, as good as you can be for a Shadowassasin. I understand that the times have changed." "And you understand that Zed has killed my father! Do you seriously ask me to form an alliance with my father's murderer?"

"Akali ... you know that I can not hold a grudge against Zed. It puts me out of balance." "Balance, balance, balance. The constant whining about balance is so annoying. I can not stand this anymore! Your idea of ​​balance is wrong. You are just as much a failure as your father. Do you know what Shen? Put your balance somewhere else. I'm out. Zed has always been more important to you than me. I can not bear it anymore." Shen did not feel good about it. She has never been so angry with him. "I ask you Akali. What's up with your mother? You wanted to take on her legacy as a fist of shadows or not?" "That's so damn shit. The title does not mean anything to me. Nor is the Kinkou clan. Tell my mother that I am gone. I'm leaving the clan." "Are you 100% sure you want to do that? Leave your home and your friends?" Akali relaxed her gaze but continued to look at him with confidence. "I am sure. I have to go my own way to finally find my destiny. The Kinkou clan is a burden, as is the balance. For now, I need your distance. I will apply for a vacation."

"Well. I have to accept that. But just so you know, there will always be a place in the Kinkou clan for you. Maybe a break is just right for you." Akali crossed her arms and looked skeptically at her former master. "That's amazingly grown of you. Thank you for not making it so difficult for me to quit." The young assassin took a step back and closed the door.

Zed Pov After his last match, Zed went to Kayn's room. There he found his pupil sitting on the edge of the bed like a wet blanket, together with Akio. That could not mean anything good. Zed closed the door behind him and removed his mask. With quiet steps, he approached his students. He crouched down and looked into Kayn's depressed face. "So what's going on? Did it get so crappy?" "Yeah ... everyone knows that I'm a Noxian." "Fuck ... How can that be ?! You are a perfectly trained Ionian. How are they supposed to expose you?", Zed tried to maintain a calm voice. He knew exactly how sensitive Kayn was to the subject. "It was not even my fault. Shen blew me up ..." "SHEN ?! Will the wanker fool me?" "No, but that's not the whole story. Afterwards, Akali attacked me immediately. Of course, she was allowed to get acquainted with the Shadow Owner because of the action. But not only that. After Akio caught her, Shen shouted at her and offered us a solid, official alliance." "You're kidding me, right? Shen is really ready to make a pact with the Order of Shadow? That's against the balance, is not it?" 

Kayn shook his head desperately. His students had no idea of ​​the philosophy of the Kinkou clan. Nevertheless, this action was very untypical for Shen. Especially yelling at his best friend was very unusual. Shen was the most emotionless bastard he knew. What was wrong with him? "And then what happened? How did the elders react to your background?" "Well ... after I was attacked, I got up and showed him my Darkin form a bit. They may have shit their pants. Anyway, my scene made sure that all of us made an alliance offer, as far as spying on the Noxians in return." Zed stared at Kayn stunned. He could not believe it. In just one conference, Kayn made sure Zed got a lot of power and for that, he just had to freak out. Why could he influence the people around him so much?

For a moment, Zed gave a damn about the presence of Akio. He took his friend in his arms and was not ashamed of it. He was damn proud of him. "Well done, my student." "Thank you, Master," he answered with half enthusiasm. He did not know him like that. His Kayn rubbed one always the success under the nose. But now he seemed very withdrawn. "Kayn, what's up? Why can not you be happy?" "I'm glad, but ... These looks ... The looks as they all learned I'm Noxian killed me. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I hate being a Noxian. I blew my ass so hard to become one of you and all the trouble was in vain. I do not want that. I do not want everyone to know who I am. I can live with it being a killer. I'm proud to be just like a Darkin hybrid. But I do not want to be associated with Noxus. This disappointment in Irelia's face. Or in Karma, or even Wukong, with whom I understand myself very well. I want that Ionia loves me. That they accept me and consider me one of them. The alliances arose more out of necessity than sympathy. How am I supposed to meet the other one now?"

Shen had done great damage. No one was allowed to make his boy sad, even if he proposed an alliance. That did not make the situation well for a long time. "Kayn, the other Ionians will accept you. Just talk to them. I'm sure they can still like you. And as for Shen, I'm going to pull his ears long. Do not wait for me." Zed got up and glanced at Akio, who told him to watch out for his little brother. Zed put on his mask again, left the room and went to his idiotic brother. Angered, he stormed into his room without knocking. "Shen you idiot! How dare you blow up my student? Kayn did not harm you! Shen ?! Shen ...? Brother ...?" Slowly Zed approached his brother room, who was lying in bed completely in tears.

[beyond-far-horizons]

Thoughts on Dany + Jon Post Ending

Can’t get this out of my head so I’ll thought I’d get things off my chest. Doesn’t cover everything about this season and the way the series was handled over all by a long shot.

Spoilers under the cut.

I feel so sad, so heartbroken for Dany. For Jon too but especially for Dany. 

I’ve read and seen enough think pieces to see both sides and see how the Mad Queen angle could have worked if things were done a little differently and might have been fantastic if heartbreaking if the turn had happened long before and was supported by better writing and development. Also from things hinted I’m now worried this is indeed where GRRM is going for the books (if he ever gets to the end...), if only because the bittersweet gut-wrenching feeling in my chest is what the Red Wedding would have felt like if I had been a fan at the time it aired. It is so very GOT to get you to invest in the Heroine’s arc, the Saviour, the power fantasy, the Chosen One destiny, just to turn it back on you and show you a villain instead. However the Villain Face-Heel turn has actually been done many times and in many cases much better.

The thing is, as so many have said, it just came too late and was unsupported by the writing especially this season. The seeds were certainly there but they weren’t nurtured and the key thing is we weren’t with her enough especially in the Bells episode to see that crucial tipping point. 

But the worse part for me is the tragedy of Dany’s life and her dreams. It felt like ever since she came to Westeros she has been gradually stripped of all that she loves. We have been so anxious for her to come home and claim her crown that she’s heard about and suffered for all her life and ever since she made that journey Highgarden, Dorne and the Iron Islands were lost, Viserion was killed and zombified, Jorah was killed protecting her, most of her Dothraki and Unsullied were slaughtered, Rheagal was killed, Missendei was captured and killed - all through her trying to save her land and her people, all because she listened to Tyrion and co and gave Cercei chance after chance. Finally she was betrayed by the man she loved and stabbed to death while he professed his undying love and loyalty.

That look of shock and Drogon nudging her futilely then going nuts and finally carrying her off into distance all to Ramin’s transcendent score just broke me. It was awful. Awful that her personality just got slaughtered, that she would honestly say ‘they don’t get to choose’ to Jon, knowing what it is like to be sold and abused with no voice. That’s not Dany! Awful that after everything she has endured - the loss of her family and inheritance at the start of her life, the abusive childhood on the run, being sold and raped by Drogo, having to adapt to the Dothraki then losing it all along with her husband and child, wandering in the desert, being betrayed and having to fight and remake herself countless times, struggling to do the right thing in Esso and Westeros and through all that raising three dragons to adulthood and bringing magic back into the world. She deserved better than the shit she got, especially from the Starks in Winterfell - she came to save your damn asses! (or if they are going to be mistrustful PLEASE D & D give them a proper reason - spell it out, talk about the Stark/Targ history, give us some proper Robert’s Rebellion R & L stuff. Jon never brings up in S7 the fact that Dany’s father killed Rickard and Brandon and would have killed Ned & Robert too, not to mention Rheagar allegedly kidnapping Lyanna - it would have been a great way to level her haughtiness and keep the R + L = J theme going as well as highlight the potential Targ madness. That coupled with Sansa’s experiences of being betrayed and the Dothraki etc then yeah I’d get the distrust.)

Anyway I can’t look back at those poignant or badass scenes of hers in earlier seasons now. It makes me feel desolate and frankly dirty to feel I was cheering a tyrant in the making. I love bad guys, I even love tragic heroes that go crazy and kill those they love - (see Wheel of Time - The Dragon/LTT), but Dany never felt like that. Her heart felt too pure for that corruption. She lost herself and didn’t even see it - that’s not Dany no matter how much she has suffered. I possibly could see her losing it and then feeling deep remorse but not full on megalomania.

Also it has to be said I did feel the unconscious misogyny of Crazy!Queen has to be put down by One True Male Heir and Tyrion’s all ‘we tried to guide her and help her with her worst impulses’ like fuck that shit Tyrion, it’s not your fault the writers made you carry the Idiot Ball for the last how many seasons but your shit advice and betrayals have directly led to this, everyone knows Cercei ain’t gonna negotiate, you muppet! The only shocking thing is why she didn’t kill you all those times you were in her grasp! Again like others have said it’s the insidious message underneath - the crazy woman and her crazy emotions, not being able to escape your family history, Missendei dying in chains, Jamie forgoing all character development, saying he didn’t care about the innocent people and he really did love Cercei, Jon being exiled at the Wall again, forever an outsider. GOT has always been about subverting traditional fantasy archetypes and I never expected a happy ending, but this wasn’t the bittersweet finale of LOTR, this felt wrong, even though there were some great moments.

Props must go to Emilia Clarke though - she has come such a long way as an actress and I felt bad for her, reading about all her struggles for the role, fresh out of drama school, having to have brain surgery and everything. In those last two episodes she gave everything she had, she really did Daenerys justice even if the writing didn’t and so did Kit Harington (another actor who I had my doubts about). They really sold that scene and that made it worse.

As an aside I did actually enjoy the alternate reality feeling of the first half of the episode where Evil Queen Daenerys was keeping Pure Hero Jon prisoner and trying to convince him to ‘Join me and together we can rule-’ etc

(The part were he says for the nth time “You are my KWEEN!” and kisses her, I was like NOOOO Jon’s gone full Dark Side WTF?) But ultimately of course we got what we did. Again I was sad for him to have gone through all his Hero’s Journey - the Ice equivalent of Dany’s Fire and then like her to have had it be all in vain, there he is again, alone at the Wall with Ghost and all the other ghosts of his former life from Ygritte, to his family, to the Night’s Watch and of course Dany. 

I’d be interested to see where GRRM takes this, I’m sure if he ever does write it it will be far deeper and more in keeping with the grand themes of Fire and Ice which will perhaps do justice to his characters. I hope he does and we get that chance.

For now, sad as it seems, I’m going to need time to detach from GOT and these characters and find a more wholesome, uplifting story. 

[sherytra]

Tag your Friends Meme: Your Fave 10 OPs/EDs!

Woouh ! It took me so much time and reflexion to do this !

Rules: List 10 of your favorite Anime Openings and Closings! Not 10 of each, but 10 songs! They can all be from the same anime or multiple! You can leave links if you want to and make sure to add a little blurb about it~!

Ok, so... it was really difficult because my fav songs tend to fluctuate and i had a lot of trouble to find only 10 songs i wanna put here... there is so much more...so i choose the songs wich really inspire me and which I never get tired of.

(btw, It’s just 10 songs in random order, not a top 10 or whatever.)

Thanks fot tagging me, @koukoi1412 ! <3

10. Tales of Symphonia - The Animation - Ending   Ta ga tame no sekai by Akiko Shitaka

I love Akiko Shitaka so much...this song is beautifull and suits my favorite game so well...

(If you like it, please lsiten to  Akatsuki no Yona Ending 2 !)

Oh, ones who live out a sad fate Oh, those who stand against the child who pretends to be destruction. So that someday, one day, in the sky you gaze at The sound of peace echoes out...

Just, go ahead and listen it ! This song is strong.

9. Noragami Aragoto - Opening - Kyouran Hey Kids!! by The Oral Cigarettes

So much energy in this song, it is king of crazy in the lyrics but .. it is sooo good ! It makes me want to dance or to move ! The graphic style and animation are beautiful too. And the colors... \(*---*)/

Let’s go crazy Hey kids !

8.  Nanatsu no Taizai - Ending  by FLOW and Grand Rodeo

AAAAH ! FLOW X Grand Rodeo !!! Are you fucking kindding me ?! My two fav japanese bands doing a collab for the anime adaptation of one of my favorite manga ? (Sorry i’m fangirling...)  anyways this ending is soooo good and it give me so much joy! XD

7. Hakuouki Shinsengumi Kitan - Opening by  Yoshioka Aika

This one is particular... In fact, i’m not exactly a fan of this anime/story (i like it anyway) and the animation or colors, even graphisms, of thi op are pretty but kind of really ... classical ? But this song is ... !! Wooh, just hear it. The melody is stunning and the singer voice is outstanding.

6. Magi : the kingdom of Magic - Ending 2 - With you/With me by 9nine

My fav ending so far. The melody is outstanding, especially the beginning with Alibaba and Aladdin back to back. I love this one so much.

(And this arc of Magi is my favorite, so ^^)

In this colorful world, is our meeting

really a coincidence? Even though I do not believe in fate so easily

5.  Sailor Moon - Opening - Moonlight Densetsu

Maybe my nostalgia is speaking here, dunno, but i love this song. It is really good... i grew up with Sailor Moon and i remember wanted to be like her .

It can go with Card Captor sakura op, btw ! I grew up with her too ! (i was so jealous of her, i wanted a Kero too... )

4. D.Gray-man - Opening 3 - Doubt and Trust by Access

This song is stunning. Makes me want to punch the Earl in the face, with Allen, Lavi and the other. The song is not ambigious, we’re here to punch the vilain, dude !

Out of the light Is born the darkest shadow As lies obscure the truth Deception pierces our souls We may never break through this endless night But that tiny, selfish dream remains that we'll see another morning

Yeah, at that time they were going to see another morning... but what about now ? Are you going to see the light again, Allen ? 

3. Yuri on ice - Opening - History maker by Dean Fujiuoka

AAAH ! This opening is a masterpiece for me, it fits this anime very very well. Lyrics are like a dialogue between Victor and Yuri, and Dean Fujioka has a so pretty voice. The op animation is amazing and change through the story, adding colors and featuring more charaters.

I absolutly LOVE it. One of my fav so far.

Can you hear my heartbeat? Tired of feeling never enough I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true There'll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself you are unstoppable Where your destiny lies, dancing on the blades, you set my heart on fire

(Here i’m pretty sure all which have watch Yuri on Ice are singing... x))

2. Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood - Opening 5 - Rain by SID

 My favorite op from FMA so far... strong, full of maturity and melancholia, it’s so beautiful, fit so well with the anime. Go ahead, hear it and WATCH it, look at the animation, the characters, their expression... not only the song is beautiful, no, this opening is absolutly outstanding. (But check at all the FMAB op and Ending, i could’ve do this top 10 with just this ones) Those eyes don't want to know about my past, and those fingers wash it all away An easy pace would heal these scars at a distance that looks attainable but is not When will this rain stop?  I've been cold for so long Why did the rain choose me?  Will it be okay to wrap myself in it?

1.Shigatsu wa kimi no uso - Opening 1- Hikaru Nara by Goose House

A masterpiece.

One of my fav, this song is amazing, the voices, the lyrics, it’s all about light and hope, and dreams, the animation and art are beautiful, full of colors, both light and strong. It gives me feels each time i watch or listen to it. Every-fucking-time. Please, please, please, take one minute and thirty seconds to watch it.

It's you, you who taught me. If the darkness shines too, then it'll become a night of stars. Don't hide your sadness behind a laughing face anymore Because all the twinkling stars will shine on you Is the answer at any time by chance? Is it necessary? Some day the road that you choose will be your destiny The hope and the anxiety you grasped tightly Will surely move you and me, because it will become a light

Finish !

Thanks if you take the time reading this, i was happy to share some of my favorite opening, and i hope that you’ve discovered some good songs !

Have a good day ! ;)

Tagging : @naegichiis  , @kougyokushairpin ! Free to do it or not ! And of course anyone who want to ! Also, @eleore - senpai, would you like you to do it ? :)