#and y'all still manage to talk about the white man!!!

[lesbians-4-riovidal]

if y'all don't stop talking about Matt Murdock when Maya Lopez is RIGHT THERE-

[satrs]

ATTENTION.

✎ A/N; They got me y'all. The voices told me to do this I'm telling youuu!!!! Did I do the ripping part in both Sylus' and Rafayel's intentionally? Yes, yes I did. SUE ME!!!

SYNOPSIS; surprising them in lingerie!

FEATURING; Sylus, Zayne, Rafayel, Xavier x fem!reader (l&ds)

TAGS; NSFW CONTENT! MDNI! s€xual intercourse. Teasing. Unprotected intercourse. Dirty talk. mating press(Sylus). blindfolding. pü$$yjob. (xavier). slightt dumbification(rafayel). cunnilingus. overstim. (Zayne)

WK;4.2k.

♡ SYLUS

"Take a picture, it'll last longer", you tease the white haired man who cranes his neck in your direction, bloody eyes examining your attire.

"I might."

A giggle escapes you in response to Sylus. He can't help but let a sly smirk creep up his lips, scanning your black stilettos up to your red lingerie, the polished red gemstones decorating your cleavage, and adding the cherry on top.

You cage wine-red lips between your teeth as you lift your hand to rest on his naked chest, droplets of water indicating his previous shower, your band of rubies slightly slipping down your tender wrist in the process.

Raising his eyebrows at your action, he watches you raise on the tips of your toes, your hot breath fanning across his neck as you whisper into his ear. "I think I'll go change."

Change? Change now, after you dolled yourself up just for him (quickly, for that matter) whilst he took a shower? Definitely not happening.

He manages to take hold of your arm with a questionable look on his face. "Oh, please", he begins, intrigue causing his silver brows to twitch, "The party's already done? What a shame."

The innocent expression on your face only sparked excitement in him- and his pants, a sly smirk exposing his motive as he takes careful steps to your shared bed until he sits on the edge, dark orbs still asserting dominance even though he’s looking up at your captivating form.

You giggle in response, and he doesn't miss your delicate hands gliding down his exposed chest, finding comfort in the towel wrapped around his waist.

"Do tell," he continues, his intense glare roaming over every part of your body, followed by his hands finding comfort on your rear. "What are the stilettos for?"

Pointing his chin towards your hidden surprise, you’re quick to follow up with a swift movement of your leg, pushing him down his back carefully with your heel before seating your covered pusssy on his growing bulge. as you bite back, "to keep you in check."

A glint of amusement dances across the man's features as he scoffs at your pathetic attempt of dominance, giving a firm squeeze to your behind, earning a yelp from your lips. "We’ll see about that."

Before you can even think of a cheeky retort, he smashes his lips against yours in haste, sighing into your mouth as if it's been a lifetime since he last had a taste of you.

His digits creep around your spine to take hold of the back of your neck, swiftly but carefully pushing you on the king sized bed, your back hitting the cold touch of the silken sheets.

He smashes his lips against yours, swallowing your sounds eagerly, hastily fumbling with your lingerie before a loud rip! Sound echoes through the room.

You let out a gasp in realization, ready to scold the man for his animalistic behavior, tragically failing to do so once he teases your exposed space.

“I’ll buy you a new one. Two, even.” He grunts between kisses, digits fumbling to get rid of his towel, grinding your cunt down on his exposed length as if his life depended on it. “Hell, I’ll buy the whole store.”

Within a blink of an eye, you already feel his bulky, fat tip nudging at your puckering hole, pushing past the tight ring of muscle with a low, resonant growl as he swiftly swings your legs over his shoulders.

Whining at his ridiculously bulky head engulfed in your snug hole, you try to close your legs in a desperate attempt to escape the astonishing stretch of his thick length. "Sy, I wanted to- ngh!, W-wanted to be on top."

"Don't be ridiculous, honey", he interrupts before smashing his hips harshly against yours, fully burying his pulsating cock inside your pussy, "You don't mean that", His slender fingers spread your glistering folds apart, in awe at the sight of you swallowing his cock with each push of his hips.

Ecstatic is how to describe your current state, low hanging eyes clouded in the thick mist of pleasure as you watch him ram into you helplessly, your legs danging off his shoulders as he pushes you further and further into a mean mating press.

You can see his tip nudging your lower belly, prominent dent apearing and dissapearing again, causing you to claw at his beefy arm, trying to slow his movement down, only to be smacked away with a scoff.

"Awww, baby. Don't give up just yet. You still got to 'keep me in check', no?" You whine as your orgasm hits you in surprise, letting out a loud cry of his name as your pussy spasms all over his pelvis.

Once you saw that fat grin on his face that you would've loved to slap off his face, you know your fucked. Maybe you even knew that from the start. But,

"There's no backing out now, kitten."

♡ XAVIER

"Can I look?"

"Wait!"

He sighs, impatiently tapping his foot on the floor, trying to adjust to the darkness covering his eyes. How long is this childish game going to take? Why won't you just let him see you?

"C'mon, wanna see you." You chuckle at his whiny plea as you step closer to him, seated on the couch, reaching out to grasp his hand in yours.

"Just be patient. You will." his composer tenses once he feels his fingers grazing the lace material adoring your soft skin and fuck, his dick twitches in his pants in pain as he imagines how you look right now in all of your glory, body decorated in seducing lace. "It's white, you know. Just how you like it."

Strength, that's what he needs—because he doesn't know how much longer he can play this game of yours before he might die.

"You won't die, silly." A hue of red adores his face in embarrassment, groaning at your light chuckle once he realizes he just said that out loud.

In light of the moment, he takes the chance and grasps at the flesh of your ass, causing you to gasp. "Please", he begs, his hand pushing you further towards him until he faces your tummy, "I w-want to- need to see you."

A shudder runs down your spine as he places wet kisses all over your exposed skin, an unoccupied hand cupping a feel of your clothed breast, earning a lustful pur from you in return.

You don't miss the sly smirk spread across his face once you push him deeper into the couch, his back hitting the rest in acceptance of defeat.

"I told you to be-"

"Patient, yes. You know I can't stand waiting when it comes to you, love." You sigh, trying your best to retain your sounds by caging your lips between your teeth, and you're thankful that he can't see your contorting expressions from his shameless hands roaming over every inch of your body. Yet.

"It's rude to interrupt someone while they're talking, you know." Your words come out hollow, not even fully reaching his ear, because all he could focus on were your hands freeing his aching cock from its restraint, his tip slightly nudging at your now exposed pussy, laced panties pushed to the side.

At that moment, his head falls back, a frustrated groan roaring from his lungs, a hard grip on your hips as he rocks your body on top of his, your wet folds adoring his shaft in the glistering essence of your sweet nectar, the warmth of your heat causing him to whine, longing to see and feel the full extent of your addicting pussy.

"Y-you're making it hard for me, you know." He notices the slight waver in your voice, and he also notices your hand gliding along the back of his neck, up, up, up until your finger hooks under the blindfold, giving into his endless pleas.

All he can manage to choke out is a gluttonous "F-fuckkk", as he, finally, sees what you've been holding back from him. And sight behold, it's even better than he could've ever imagined.

You can feel his dick twitching between the mold of your folds once you release the blindfold from his face, letting it dangle down at his neck, slightly pulling him closer by it until your lips were inches apart.

As you admire his pussy-drunk gaze, you notice his glossy eyes, kissing away the dried trail of tears running down his cheeks.

His eyes stay glued between your legs as you halt for a moment to align his angered tip at your excited hole, before you snap him out of his trance by firmly gripping at the blindfold.

"Like what you see?", you tease, words falling onto deaf ears as you sink down onto his length, his hands quick to lift you from his cock before harshly slamming you down again, catching you off guard.

"Fuck yeah."

♡ RAFAYEL

"Oh?"

His voice rings in the thick, clouded air, the filled with lust. With the quick movement of his eyes, scanning every inch of your body and the tight lace hugging your figure so deliciously, he can't help but wet his lips.

"Oh." The man's tone is low, seductive even, his hungry eyes devouring your very being. That's a surprise, alright.

This feels like a dream; with each step you take towards him in the massive pool, his head spins and dizziness overcomes his senses.

The water soon reaches your upper body as you begin to swim towards the man, all under a watchful eye.

In an act of malice, you decide to dive underneath the water, out of sight of his predatory gaze. Or, so you thought.

Gaze, not wavering from your silouette, swimming closer and closer to his spot, amused grimace coming to light as you emerge from the dark water, just to poke your head to the surface.

"Careful now." He warns at your greedy touch against his body, fingers hooking under the waistband of his shorts to mess with him, " What? I'm just testing the waters."

He chuckles at that, arms lifting you as you instinctively wrap your legs around his slutty waist. "The waters you're testing are deep, you know."

You smirk at his words, your arms caging him in place as they lock around his neck, eyes gazing into his, radiating pure lust and desire. "Deeper than you fucking me?"

You've done it now.

A flip switches inside him instantly, breath turning ragged while his hands are busy freeing his aching cock, impatiently, ripping your adored bikini, exposing your cunt to the cold pool water.

You protest, whining as he holds the pair of panties up in victory, examining them while balancing you on one strong arm. "Couldn't see shit from afar", he begins, his tongue poking out to lick across his lips.

"Looks wonderful on you, baby. Heavenly, even. But right now, I'd rather see you," releasing the fabric that covered your tits in rapid motion, he throws them behind him without care before resuming, "-naked."

"Sorry, you were saying?", His brought-up innocence, causes your brows to knit in frustration, soon disappearing once he bullies his entire cock deep into you. "Oh yeah, I remember. Something about me fucking you, right?"

The wail that you let out only earns you a twitch of his pulsating cock inside your comforting heat, repeated thrusts of his causing the water to shudder from his crude movements.

Nodding hastily, your nails clamp down on his shoulders - trying to adjust to his rapid movement with your body bouncing up and down up and-

"Hellooo, anyone up there?"

If you could, you would wipe that snarky smirk right off his face, but you couldn't. You couldn't even protest as his hands followed up to your head right after, a light knock against your forehead with his index finger.

"Hm? My girl's turning all dumb when she wanna come, yeah?" Strong arms trap you in a strong hold, his hips rutting into you at a ridiculously fast pace, his hands spreading your ass cheeks apart, nudging your gushy spot repeatedly as you threaten to come undone in his hold.

"Tell me, baby. Tell me you wanna cum, wanna hear my girl say it." he mumbles against your kiss-bitten lips, a slight stutter escaping him at the delicious squeeze of your cock-drunk pussy. "M-hm, 'm so close, soso- oh nghhh!"

Displeased with your answer, he clicks his tongue, his slender fingers threading their way between your legs to squeeze your clit meanly between his fingers. "O-ohhww! Hnghh!"

"Nuh uhhh. Say it and you'll get to cum, silly girl." You spill whine after whine from your lips, legs shaking in sync with the water.  "W-wanna cum, need ta' nghhh pleaseee- Oh!"

Incoherent nonsense rushes past your lips, and before you even realize it, you're coming undone in his arms.

Silent cries of his name fly over his head, his whole attention focused on you. From your widened eyes to your mouth hanging open, all the way to the squeeze of your plush walls, begging him to fill you to the brim.

And he does.

At his wits end, his hips stutter into yours with one last pathetic thrust. Fat chunks of white spurted into you, followed by a broken wail from him. "Y-yeahh that's my girl. Take it all. That'sss it."

You crash your lips on his, moans drowning in the hot mess. With your head laid against his heaving chest, eyes scrunched together as you came down from your high.

"C'mon, baby", he snaps you out of your daze, hazy eyes gawking at you. And, oh - you know this look all too well.

Biting your lips in excitement, he hoists you up until his dick slips out of you in quick motion, a slight hiss from him indicating his impatience.

The cold breeze engulfs your bodies as you leave the pool, your arms clinging to his neck in seek of warmth. With his quick feet, he hurries to reach the inside.

"You know we ain't done yet."

♡ ZAYNE

"You should've told me," His breath hitches against your neck, pampering your neck with kisses, hands groping your flesh. "I would've, w-would've got off earlier."

"Where'd be the fun in that?" you tease, trying to hide your smirk, your fingers delicately brushing through his dark strands, and fuck, you could cum by just looking at his lustful expression.

His hair messy and face lost in complete bliss, with his eyes screaming that he's hungry for more. And who could blame him?

Exactly, no one.

"Fuckin' hell", he mutters under his breath as you climb on top of him, laced panties hovering just above his face.

Hell, he'll for sure just might end up there if he doesn't get a taste of you in the next three seconds.

"What are you waiting for, darling?", His fingers dig deep into the flesh of your hips, forcing your hips further down, and he can't believe his eyes. Your juices bleed through the dark lace. You little minx.

Three.

He stops in his tracks at the faint whiff of your juices hitting his nostrils, squeezing your hips so tight that your flesh spills from the gaps of his fingers.

Two.

"Well?", you snap him out of his trance, catching his gaze. Your fingers brush through his strands before firmly gripping them, his lips mere inches away from your leaking hole, "What are you waiting for?"

Fuck that last second.

Shameless and dirty. Two words you'd never expected tohear with your Zayne in a sentence.

It's downright nasty, how his tongue is lapping and sucking your lips through the fabric, teeth teasingly grazing against your clit earning a gasp from you.

"Pull it off, can't wait. I gotta taste you." Zayne is fast, fingers hooking under the fabric to reveal your glistering cunt with a hungry growl, "All of you."

"S-so impatient." Shaky voice betraying yourself as your fingers tangle in his dark roots, offering him the dark blue lace that does a poor job of covering your crotch, thighs twitching in his hold.

"Please, darling", wavering voice whispers against your hidden folds, your sweet nectar reaching his nose once he hooks his finger under the flimsy fabric, pushing it to the side to gawk at your exposed cunt, glistering.

He breathes in, heart rapidly beating in his chest in anticipation, before he stops himself with one deep, threatening growl. "Fuckin' sit."

With that, he firmly grips your hips, smashing you down on his awaiting mouth. The gasp that leaves you only eggs him on, making out with your lips as if it were his last meal.

And it might be, if he continues to push you down further and further, his tongue already pushing past your tight walls, eager to taste more of you.

Humming into your heat as he gazes up at your contorted expressions, the plush of your thighs nearly suffocating him. Not that he’d mind, of course.

„Mhm, take it.“ His words are muffled against your puffy folds, barely reaching your ears. If you even heard him over the squelching sound of the wet mess beneath you, that is.

Big, beefy hands take a firm hold on your ass, squeezing the flesh tightly in his embrace. Groaning into your heat, he musters up his strength to rock your cunt over his face, ears perking up at your increase in volume.

You feel hot blood rushing through your veins as each breath of air gets heavier and hotter by any minute, his tongue lavishly exploring your tight tunnel.

His keen movement yearns for your release, growing more desperate in his movements. He just can't help himself, really. "Quit, squirmin', " He just barely lifts your hips, his words scrambling against your heat before he resumes to his meal, slightly biting down onto your poor clit in warning.

Your surprised squeal only eggs him on further. Mouth working faster, nastier, downright making out with your cunt shamelessly, even going as far as spelling his name over and over again.

Z-A-Y-N-E-Z-A-Y-N-E-Z-

„I‘m s-so- close! Fuck!“ As those words leave your mouth, a sudden euphoric wave overtakes you, and you gush all over the man's face, his face shining in your juices as he eagerly slurps up every bit you offer him.

Humming in content, his hand rips against the flesh of your ass, faint paint of red adoring your behind, before his strong arms swiftly throw you onto your back, leaving you in pure bliss from your orgasm.

But before you can notice the switch in position, his mouth is back on your cunt, hands now roaming over your body, making sure to trace the adorable cerulean lace, even going as far as sneaking through your bra to get a feel of your soft chest.

This is so strange, so unlike him- Zayne, the usually chill and composed man, full of self-control and diligence, now rutting his hips against the bed in impatient thrusts, all kinds of mumbles and groans lost between your spread thighs.

"'S too much, just hold on, Zayne!"

The overstimulation catching up to you, a string of electricity running down your spine as you try to escape his firm grip by wiggling, thighs squeezing tightly around his head - anything. But just from his warning glare, you knew it was impossible.

Sure, your legs are just about to give out on you, your poor, abused pussy pulsated non-stop, and you could already see the shining stars threatening to litter your vision.

It's too much, but it also feels all too good, maybe a little too well. With trembling fingers, you reach for his hair, contemplating whether to push him away or pull him impossibly closer. Now it was up to him to choose.

Zayne's resonated voice is already answer enough, face lifting from the cavity of your fluttering heat. His mouth completely covered in your slick, his grin completely catching you off guard.

He's placing a last, sloppy kiss right at the crown of your clit for good measure. Heavy breath brushing against your abandoned clit, causing a shiver to creep up your spine, before he's leaving a trace of wet kisses up your belly, eyes not leaving yours even once.

"You know I can't do that, darling. I'm not even halfway done with you yet."

©︎𝙎𝘼𝙏𝙍𝙎 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

Do NOT plagiarize, copy, modify, republish, or translate my work in any way!

[pandapetals]

First Day Jitters

professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - established relationship (y'all married), cute, fluff, teasing, no y/n used, no reader description, you are a english professor, logan is a history professor - imagine days of future past logan with the white streaks in his hair

Flashback before you two got married. It's Logan's first day as a teacher and you give him a lucky pen since he is nervous.

read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here

Logan never thought he’d end up teaching, let alone standing in front of a classroom full of students eager to learn about history. Hell, he still wasn’t convinced it was a good idea. He’d lived through more of it than most textbooks could cover, but that didn’t mean he knew how to explain it in neat, digestible lessons. Yet here he was—Xavier’s latest idea, no doubt convinced by the same reasoning that had gotten him to stick around the mansion in the first place.

It was his first day as a professor, and Logan hated to admit it, but he was nervous.

He frowned at his reflection in the mirror, rubbing the back of his neck. The white-gray streaks in his hair were a little more noticeable than he’d like today, not that he cared much about appearances. But something about standing in front of a bunch of fresh-faced students made him feel older than he usually did. He tugged at the collar of his shirt, already regretting the stiff, buttoned-up look. This wasn’t him.

Storm and Scott—hell, even you—made teaching seem like the easiest thing in the world. You had the confidence, the charisma. You could talk about Shakespeare or Hemingway and have a classroom hanging on your every word. Logan, on the other hand, could barely imagine keeping their attention long enough to get through the syllabus.

With a low grunt, he gave his reflection one last, unimpressed look. He had no idea how the day would go, but at least there was something to look forward to: you.

Your classroom was right across the hall, and despite having known you for a while, Logan hadn’t yet worked up the nerve to make a real move. The two of you had always had this easy back-and-forth, full of teasing and subtle glances that lingered just a little too long. He could sense you liked him—he was good at picking up on that sort of thing—but something held him back. Maybe it was the thought of disappointing you. Or maybe it was the idea that someone like you, with all your grace and cleverness, deserved better than a gruff old man.

As he shrugged on his jacket, the door to his office creaked open, and there you were, leaning against the doorframe with that easy smile of yours, the one that always managed to throw him off his game just a little.

"Nervous?" you asked, your voice teasing but gentle, your eyes bright with amusement. You knew him well enough by now to see through his gruff exterior, especially on a day like this.

Logan scoffed, turning to grab his bag. "Nah. It’s just teachin’. Nothin’ to it," he grumbled, though the tightness in his jaw gave him away. He slung the bag over his shoulder, trying to play it cool, but his hand lingered on the strap, betraying the anxious energy simmering beneath the surface.

You stepped further into the room, crossing your arms as you watched him. "Right, of course," you said, your voice laced with sarcasm. "Because you’ve clearly got this whole professor thing down on day one."

He shot you a look, half-amused, half-annoyed, but didn’t argue. You took a step closer, your tone softening. "You’re going to be fine, Logan. You know more about history than anyone I’ve ever met. Besides, if Scott can manage to teach teenagers about geometry without setting himself on fire, you can handle this."

He huffed out a laugh, but it didn’t completely shake off the tension in his shoulders. You caught it, your eyes narrowing slightly as you gave him that knowing look of yours.

"Here," you said suddenly, reaching into your bag. "I’ve got something for you."

Logan raised an eyebrow, curious despite himself, as you pulled out a pen—a sleek, simple one that looked a little too fancy to belong to someone like him. You held it out to him, grinning. "This is one of my lucky pens. Take it with you. You know, for good luck."

He stared at the pen, then at you, his eyebrow inching higher. "Lucky pens, huh? Didn’t peg you for the superstitious type," he muttered, but there was a flicker of something softer in his gaze.

You shrugged, still holding the pen out toward him. "I’m not, really. But it’s worked for me in some tight spots. And, besides…" You leaned in just a little, lowering your voice. "It’ll give you something to think about when you’re in there, pretending not to be nervous."

Logan felt his lips twitch into the beginnings of a smile, but he kept his gruff demeanor intact. "I don’t need luck," he grumbled, but after a moment, he took the pen from your hand, his fingers brushing lightly against yours. He pocketed it quickly as if the small, intimate gesture had caught him off guard.

You gave him a knowing smile, stepping back, clearly pleased with yourself. "Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that, tough guy."

Logan shook his head, trying to suppress the warmth that spread through him at the sight of your smile. "You should get to your class before I regret takin’ that pen."

You laughed softly, the sound light and easy, before heading toward the door. "Good luck, Professor Howlett," you teased over your shoulder, winking at him as you disappeared into the hallway.

Logan stood there for a second longer than he needed to, the room feeling a little emptier now that you’d left. He patted the front pocket of his jacket, feeling the smooth edge of the pen nestled inside. He scoffed under his breath—luck, yeah right—but his fingers curled around it, holding onto it just a little tighter than necessary.

As he made his way to his first class, Logan kept his usual stoic expression in place, but he couldn’t quite shake the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. The students waiting inside the room wouldn’t know it, but tucked in his pocket was a little piece of you, a reminder that maybe he had more going for him today than just his knowledge of history.

If he was being honest with himself, that was all the luck he needed.

[austinsastrology8991]

> SUN IN THA HOUSE < and whY yoU Be like dat

Sun is our focal point, its our brightest star > you force others to look at you and look at themselves by your star quality <

Sun in the First - Everyone knows them, and they make it a fact that if you don't see them then your the one who is blind. They have a confident swagger, but arrogance to them that begs for the attention of all around them, and everyone is locked in on how or why they have such a powerful presence. Their smiles are contagious too. Also somehow always in the perfect place to say some funny ass shit and keep their style points that they been racking up over the years "You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name" - W.W 'breaking bad'

Sun in the Second - Did I stutter? Im talking about what I need not what I want. These guys are possessed by themselves and everyone loves it. So focused so self contained, they don't want nothing to do with you if you can't help them achieve their goals, and that attitude is sticky and everyone wanna be glued to em because they are destined for success. So they are constantly deciding who they want to share their gifts with, because they know they got it, what you got? "Money, money, money, money, money ain't the motive, What's your name again? Nobody knows it, Don't speak to me n***a, you not important, Im focused" - Tyler, the creator 'smuckers'

Sun in the Third - The whizz kid who didn't study, but stole the test papers and told everyone the wrong answers and kept all the right ones to himself. They are smart and they dont need you to tell them this they just want some more god damn answers. And thats what frustrates everyone, because they know so much already, why they still searching? Well thats how they got so smart dummy "That's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope Searching with a fine tooth comb, it's like this rope Waiting to choke, tightening around my throat Watching me while I write this, like, "I don't like this note" - Eminem 'white america'

Sun in the Fourth - The sentimental cry baby that everyone loves to cuddle. Emotional but people find it adorable. They are the rock you can cry on if you want a rock to cry on. Nah but if you need a safe place to cry, you can cry to them, they'll protect you from the harsh waves of others emotional projections, because they get it, even when everyone else refuses to. But don't use em because that'll force them to block you out, and this decision will cause a emotional rollercoaster for the both of you and they'll blame you for it even if it was their decision "And I am done changing words, Just so my songs sound prettier, I just don't care if it hurts, 'Cause it hurts me too" - Faye Webster 'hurts me too'

Sun in the Fifth - The walking confetti explosion, always turnt up and if you trynna lower the volume then they'll oblige ya just so when the volume inevitably goes up again, they'll make it a point that its always more fun with the party up then down. Charming chameleons that are cheesin about the colours they managed to pull off. Watch em dance, watch em sing, watch em do a funny, they can do it all and laugh while doing it, the vibe is them and they are so good at inviting people in on the little big party they got going on "Man I just wanna go flex, Gold on my teeth and on my neck, And I'm stone cold with the flex, With my squad and I'm smokin' up a check" - Post Malone 'go flex'

Sun in the Sixth - Typeracer.com - nah but seriously they always working on themselves and comparing themselves just to make sure their progress is more than what they expected and way more than what others expected of them. Because they here for a reason, and they will never let a opportunity slip, because if they do, they'll stay awake over it for years, and they done wasting their good years. Basically Peggy Olsen "And when your album sales wasn't doing too good, Who's the Doctor they told you to go see? Y'all better listen up closely, All you n***s that said that I turned pop, Or The Firm flopped. Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been getting no sleep" - Dr Dre 'forgot about dre'

Sun in the Seventh - I gotchu what you need? true homies always putting others before them, and i know this gets a bad rap these days but if you ever get one of these friends. Do yourself a favour and stop telling them to stand up for themselves, because they still standing with the weight of everyone else on they shoulders. This way they show others the power of communication. And they still sticking it to everyone who tell em otherwise, so please tell me how they not standing up for themselves? They the loyalist, you got no idea how many people rely on em and thats their pride "Every step I take, every move I make (ohh, I'll miss you), Every single day, every time I pray, I'll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah), Thinkin' of the day, when you went away, What a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you" - Diddy 'missing you'

Sun in the Eighth - Who went to hell and back? Well they went to a version of it. And they are done hearing whatever you done, because what they did beats your hell tenfold. They don't even wanna put you in your place because they don't wanna hear your attempts to disapprove of them because they've overcome more than some bullshit shit talking. Just put some respect on their name thats all they want. And if not it's easy pickens because think they worse than you, and if you done worse, they don't mind going badder, so be careful, they'll do it. They careful about not being careful so be careful "No I don't worry, I tell you, I'm a man who believes that I died twenty years ago, And I live like a man who is dead already, I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything" - Skepta 'no security'

Sun in the Ninth - I WOKE UP IN NEW BUGgATTI is how they live their lives, except miss the bugatti but keep the caps lock on. They live by a set of moral philosophies to help them get by and to find excitement/ enjoyment outta life, because they refuse to be a follower, they've seen how sad everyone else is and they just trynna make sure it don't work out that way for them. Educated idiots; making up the rules as they learn the rules to live by their own rules. They lead their own life and it rubs off on everyone on how you should live your own life > teetering the edge of danger and fortune. Also someone who'll give it to you the realest despite being the biggest clown "Black kid get shot, white man get tazed, Media spread lies, politicians get paid, Doctors wanna drug you up so you can reach an early grave, Prisons wanna lock you up so they can fill up every cage Make fifty cents an hour, they gon' work you like a slave, Government gon' play dumb but they know everythin' " - Meechy Darko 'kill us all'

Sun in the Tenth - "Who speaking about me? oh. he ain't shit" - they acting better than everyone, and its fake until it isnt. No one knows when they made it because they always acted like they did. They dont brag they let the audience speak their volumes, hum their symphonies, play their drums, tickle their balls, and they just the orchestrator of it all. Because they doin the most, and they know everyone gonna talk about it so no need to even speak on it. Classy about it too. They on the top and they don't wanna leave so they acting humble but everyone know they really feelin themselves, but hey who wouldn't "I might be too strung out on compliments, Overdosed on confidence, Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence, Drinkin' every night because we drink to my accomplishments" - Drake 'headlights'

Sun in the Eleventh - Trend setters who leave their shit stains on every social setting they enter. They got this influence about them thats hard not to notice, because they have at least three people fawning over em, and they not doing shit. Always trying to spread their influence, so if you want someone to back you its them, because their word is worth more due to their connections. And the easiest way to connect is technology and they all up in the software and getting a hard drive about it. They say some outta pocket shit, but thats where the influenza comes from I guess. They somehow everywhere and no where at the same damn time "It's ironic you talk jail time, But you ain't never seen no central booking (yeah) It's ironic you hang with a n***a that beat women And have the nerve to call yourself "Girl Pusher" Wow! You ain't real, I'm gonna show you how I really feel - JPEGMAFIA 'baby im bleeding'

Sun in the Twelfth - Lonely introspective dreamy creative types. Is what you could say if you wanna sum them up. But there is much more to them, but they are so afraid of letting anyone in because they are so sensitive. Their empathy and ability to look at things from different perspectives is what sets them apart, and they want to be set apart, because they feel alone, and don't wanna pretend they your friend if they ain't. They are extremely creative to a fault, and a lot of people would rather make fun of their works then celebrate how special it is. Until it is widely acknowledged how gifted they are, then everyone will switch up around them. But they will never forget who said what, because they above the whats; aint got time for someone who thought they were just a what "'Cause I'm out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own, I told you I was out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own,I fell down to Earth, From a hundred miles away and somehow I still make it work, But it's overrated and somehow played out" - Oliver Tree 'alien boy'

[allkindfangirl]

Reader being taken instead of kie to singhs house and having to share a bed with rafe, building a wall of pillows between each other but as soon as she falls asleep he gets rid of the pillows and pulls her into his arms and holding on tightly and when she wakes up and realizes that the wall is gone and he’s holding her she just snuggles closer to him making him confess his love for her and then kiss the crap outta her

Forced proximity

Enemies to lovers but he’s really loved her all along

Tag me once it’s up? Thanks!

pairing: rafe cameron x reader warnings: violence (?), season 3 spoilers kinda

This is a based off three requests I got that were all very similar, so I figured to just combine them. Hope that's okay and y'all like it.

requst 1 by @dearreader03 request 2 by anonym: "reader gets kidnapped instead of kiara and maybe reader gets hurt while they are bringing her in and rafe is worried out her and they sleep on the bed together" request 3 by anonym: "hi, i had an idea for a rafe x reader where y/n is kidnapped instead of kiara and she is stuck with rafe. They are exes because Y/n left him after knowing about Peterkin, but she still has feelings for him and she tries to resist him but fails😩❤️"

It felt like a nightmare. The initial joy about going back home was gone completely when you found yourself in the back of a truck, surrounded by men with guns. You didn't know where your friends were, if they would find you and most important, you didn't know what would happen to you.

When the truck stopped in front of the big mansion you felt like this was your chance. Somehow you managed to hop off the open truck but you didn't make it far. You knees hit the ground first, followed by your face. You heard shouting, then felt arms grabbing on yours to bring you up to your feet.

"Don't try shit like this again.", you heard behind you, then you were dragged towards the house.

You didn't know why you were here, what these people wanted from you but you were sure it had something to do with the gold. You quickly realized that it didn't make any sense to try and run away when you stepped into the house and were dragged up the stairs. Every single door was guarded. There was no way to escape.

Still, you tried to remember the way through the house, but there you were being pushed into the room at the end of the corridor.

"Fucking assholes.", you shouted as they shut the door behind you and locked it.

It took you a moment to realize that you weren't alone in the room. The man was standing in front of the window, back towards you. He wore a white shirt and his hair was buzzed.

When he turned around your heart sunk. Those blue eyes were one of a kind. A kind you knew so well.

"You got to be kidding me.", you grunted. "This can't be happening."

"Y/n? What the fuck are you doing here? Are you hurt?" The worry in Rafes eyes spoke volumes as he came rushing over to you and looked at your scraped up face.

"I'm fine Rafe."

"Did they fucking hurt you?" His eyes were big from concern. The though of someone touching and hurting you drove him crazy.

"No. It's nothing.", you said through gritted teeth, trying to ignore your hurting knees and wounds in your face.

"I knew you had something to do with this."

"What are you talking about? I don't." He looked at you, and hoped that for once you would believe him. That for once you wouldn't think that he was the bad one in the situation.

"Why are we here?" Your eyes were cold as you tried to stay calm. He had to know something but he shook his head, only telling you that it had something to do with the cross.

"Why, out of all people, am I stuck with you?" You sounded desperate. You had hoped to not see him again anytime soon. Your feelings just confused you more and you hated it.

You didn't regret your relationship with Rafe for one second. You knew that you really had loved each other, but still, you couldn't forgive him for what he did. You didn't wanted to know this Rafe.

"Don't say that." There was sadness in his voice. It hurt him to know how much you disliked him for what he did, it hurt him that you couldn't even bare being in a room with him.

"I can't just act like nothing happened, Rafe."

"I can't either.", he said desperate. He came closer to you who were sitting on the large bed in the room. He sunk to his knees and you stomach flipped by the sight of him on his knees in front of you. It brought back so many memories and feelings. He looked up to you.

"You- You don't understand." He slurred out, running his hands over his short hair. He didn't understand how he could be so nervous just because of you.

"I- You don't know how sorry I am."

You had heard those words a thousand times before. It was hard to believe that this time they would really mean something.

It cut like knifes. He was everything you needed and still, it destroyed everything you had worked on so hart. To get over him, to hate him.

- The hours passed until you saw the sun setting through the window. The two of you knew you had to get some rest, not knowing what would happen the next days.

"I can sleep on the floor.", you heard him mumble from the other side of the room.

"Don't be silly. It's not like we haven't shared a bed before."

It felt like old times as he snuck under the covers with you and you hoped he wouldn't hear your heart beat.

He scoffed at the wall of pillows between your bodies. It was safe to say that you didn't trusted him - and yourself.

Rafe just couldn't fall asleep this night. A thousand thoughts were running through his head. How could he get the two of you out of here? How could he protect you? He couldn't bare the thought of you getting hurt again.

This wall of pillows between the two of you was getting on his nerves. Just like you had said earlier, it wasn't the first time the two of you shared a bed. He thought about all the nights you had fallen asleep in his arms. The nights were his thoughts weren't as loud as they always were, the nights where he could just be Rafe and let himself fall.

He tossed the pillows to the floor. It seemed ridicilous to lay next to you and not have his arm around you. It was all he needed in this moment.

He slung his arm around your body, his hands touching your skin. It was a feeling he had dreamed about a thousand times. His face got lost in your hair and he pulled you closer to his body.

-

It felt normal for a moment when you woke up the next morning. The sun was coming through the windows and you felt a strong arm around your hips that felt so familiar. Then it all came back. The nightmare that you couldn't just wake up from.

"It's okay. I'm here." Rafe whispered softly in your ear as he felt your body panicking.

You managed to turn round in his arms. His eyes were open. He had spend the last half an hour just laying there with you in his arms. His eyes landed on your lips, then wandered back to your eyes.

It surprised you to not see a grin on his lips but tears forming in his eyes. There he was - broken Rafe that nobody had seen as often as you did.

"I know you hate me. But I love you y/n."

"You're wrong. I should hate you.", you whispered.

A part of you knew that this was wrong, that you had promised yourself to never go back to him. But you didn't know what life had to offer at this point, so you could at least let yourself fall for a moment.

You nodded as he looked at your lips again, his eyes questioning if it was okay to kiss you. His lips were soft, just like they had always been and just like you had pictured them in your dreams.

"I'm getting us out of here. I promise."

You knew he meant every word he said. You knew he would do anything for you and would protect you with his life.

-

really hope you like it xx

my masterlist

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ghostface! Ellie Williams and Ghostface! Abby Anderson with a chubby fem s/o

+ featuring some slight yandere and explicit themes (these are dating headcanons to specify)

A/n: Hi again lovelies! I didn't expect the last one to blow up so quickly so I'm back to writing, honestly every note, like and reblog encourages me to do more and do better so thank you for that. I honestly didn't expect to write something a bit gory after writing mostly fluff so this'll be interesting. Reminder English is not my first language and I'm trying my best, I hope you enjoy:)

I'll possibly add more in the future if I have ideas :3

Meet my cousin y'all: @rabblebite

Disclaimers/Warnings: Slight yandere like behavior???, violence, gore, knife kink, gun kink, stalking, suggestive themes and language. Characters may be a bit OOC (but you already know this, it's ghostface)(the chubby part is just a little add on so there's actually not that many headcanons regarding that)

If you wish to be tagged, please comment that you want to be or follow so that you'll be updated also: Rules for requests

Ellie Williams dating inspired playlist made by me

Ellie Williams

The first time you met Ellie was a bit of a blur. Let me elaborate...

You were new at the school, first day and all that cliche shit. Bell rings, you run to class. You found yourself in a seat next to a girl, auburn hair and freckles. A few times throughout the class you made eye contact and smiled a few times.

What you didn't know was that Ellie was already freaking out, can you really blame her? A pretty girl sits next to her and smiles at her, not only that but you even offered her a mechanical pencil because hers was flimsy and the led kept breaking on her. She thought you completely forgot about the pencil but did you really?

This was the start of her obsession over you.

After that day she stalked you non-stop, she knew everything. She even kept a small journal, writing down what you did and how she felt about it after.

Her sketchbooks were filled with you, aside from a few other things it was mostly you. There's at least 2-3 doodles on each page of either you or your name on her sketchbook.

May or may not have carved your initials on her guitar before you even started dating.

That mechanical pencil you gave her, she kept it, barely even used it after that so she can keep something of yours.

When she managed to get enough courage to talk to you again, she tried giving you the pencil back in guilt but you refused. You told her to keep it and did that woman worship that pencil.

You got invited to her friend group, which are Dina and Jesse and out of all of them, she hang out with you the most.

After a while, Ellie felt confident enough to ask you out and a sigh of relief for her when you said yes.

She has polaroid of you lying around everywhere in her room, you even stuck some on the edge of your mirror and locker so she'd see it.

Your pet names including: princess, bunny, sweet thing and pretty girl.

The night you found out Ellie was Ghostface was the time you were walking at the street just minding your business when you were pulled in an alleyway but some creepy 50 something year old hobo.

You kicked him off of you and tried to run and the man tried to chase after you. Only to have his mouth covered by a white cloth and stabbed in the back. Hastily running, you got pulled back by the black cloaked stranger and before you could scream, she took off her mask.

"Ellie?" You whisper in fear, you saw her drop her knife and hug you.

You were still in shock, after all you just found out your girlfriend killed someone, rather a lot of people.

"[Name]? Are you alright? He didn't touch you anywhere did he?" She asked, seemingly forgetting she was still wearing her ghostface get up. Lucky for you that you kicked him off before anything else happened.

You two talked it out and you understand her motive behind all of the killings however that doesn't take away from the fact that you're terrified of what consequences await her if she was ever to get caught.

Ellie is aware of what might happen when she gets caught so she does everything she can to make sure you are not in any way, shape or form involved if she was caught.

Even if it means for her to forever rot in prison, she'd rather keep you away than endanger you for being a witness or even a suspect.

She heard about you being flirted with and inappropriately touched by some Chad. After a few days he was spotted, gutted open at the school tree hanging by his clothes.

She'd definitely think it's adorable to see you with the ghostface get up, it's specifically tailored to her size so seeing it on you with the trim dragging on the ground makes her thing of like the ghost costumes with just a white blanket and she just thinks you're such an angel, too pure even.

I just can't stop imagining her with a knife kink, though she doesn't actually cut you with it. She loves the way you whimper and squirm when she presses the cold blade on your plush skin.

She gets off on blood, that being said once she's with you and you already know about the killings, she can't just let it slide.

Someone else's blood on your skin makes her feel all sorts of things. (You may or may have engaged in sexual things after her gutting people up)

Clean up after that is a bit of work so there's that.

Seeing you in lingerie and blood would make her lose all self control.

If you were to accidentally kill someone, she would not only help you clean up but she'll also take responsibility for the kill. She made it look like ghostface did it.

If you were to decide to join in the killings, she'd let you but with moderation.

For example she'll let you make the decision on who to kill or strategize the killings. Before you could even suggest someone who wronged you, they're already 6ft under believe me. Ellie easily picks up on how you feel about someone and it's not like you don't tell her.

She'd also let you watch the killings, either hidden or disguised but that's just how far she'll go. She doesn't want you to actually be the one to do the killing cause she's too paranoid you'll do something that'll cause you to get caught.

Abby Anderson

You met at the basketball court while you were sitting at the bleachers because let's be real here, Abby is a total jock and athlete, she seems like she'd be a gym rat too. (Without the red flags of one though)

You were sitting with your friends Dina and Jesse while you guys just catched up since the past week has been hectic, you even went so far as to gossip and think of conspiracies on who has been responsible for the reported killings by the killer they named ghostface. You looked at your phone, looking at the messages when you flinched, almost getting hit by a ball.

You open your eyes shortly to see Abby Anderson, the school's lesbian jock, who by the way is holding the ball that almost hit you. Anderson muttered an apology on behalf of her teammate who mistakenly threw the ball at your direction.

You told her it was fine and that it was and honest mistake when you know damn well you would've been far more upset if that ball actually hit you.

Abby just couldn't stop staring at you, I mean could you blame her? She felt like a knight and shinning armour when she just saved a pretty girl from a potential head injury.

She snapped back to reality when she heard her teammate say "Hey Anderson! Stop flirting with pretty girls and pass that ball back will you" Abby was a bit flustered by that comment because all and all she agreed to it.

On Abby's desk is carved your name and initials, she has gotten detention over it though I don't think the school is aware of how many desks have your name carved on them.

It took a while but Abby finally did ask you out, she approached you while you were taking a few things out of your locker. "So uhh, do you want to go out with me? On a date I mean..." She asked with her hand rubbing her neck, Abby was bracing herself for rejection.

You had to do a bit of a double take because the Abby Anderson is asking you out? You said yes obviously.

May or may not have stalked you before asking you out to find out everything you like to set up the perfect date.

Abby definitely has a polaroid of you both is her locker and gym locker. (There's one in her wallet too 🥺)

Your nicknames are: my cheerleader (because she knows damn well you've been to all her games and was there to cheer her on), baby, babe and pretty girl

You only found out that she's ghostface because she couldn't take it anymore and told you after seeing that you're scared of ghostface potentially threatening your life.

Poor baby was so worried you'd think insane if her after, let's just say she ended up loving you more for accepting the fact and understanding the reason behind the killings. (let's be real here any normal person would but not you)

When you first asked to play a part in the killings, Abby disagreed, no way in hell was she letting her girl be in danger both of the police and whatever else is out there.

She hates the idea of you going to jail more than she hates the idea of getting caught and facing the consequences.

But if you really want to then like Ellie she'd let you but with limitations. You're only ever allowed to watch when you are disguised and she'll let you stab a few every now and then.

Abby with a gun kink, Abby with a gun kink, Abby with a gun kink. Watch her get turn on when you flinch from the clicks whenever she pulls the trigger.

Despite Abby hating horror movies, she sure made a hell of a good killer.

[lukaherehelp]

Playboyy EP2 - Getting What You Want?

(feels ominous now)

Instead of commenting as the episode progresses, I'm going to go straight to analyzing everything that has caught my attention. Fasten your seatbelts, this is gonna be a long one with no brakes!

SO!

Let's get out of the way the horniness first because it has me distracted. Yes, more shirtless Teena, yes to Aob's melons are out first two minutes buT I NEED TO GO UNHINGED ABOUT THIS MAN FOR A SECOND:

he fuckin pulls in wearing converse, leather pants and jacket, a white tee and while still wearing those fuckin nerd glasses while smoking a cigarrette and y'all want me to skip it?! And then we procced to learn that he was in this sugar daddy/sugar baby with master/slave dynamics with Nant (where idk if there were actual feelings or not) AND Y'ALL WANT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT?!

I'm taking Nant's place! I'm running across the globe to be his barbie doll, all the feminism in me has left, the traditional woman protocol is activated. Sir, how do you want your eggs in the morning? I get Fiat now when he said he would let Leo tie and lock him up, this man has awaken that in me.

... okey, moving on to my actual notes. Let's begin again:

PROM & PORSCHE

two bad bitches in one single frame, they are blood related.

This two are so fuckin sus that at this point I actually think they are yet another red herring (at least Prom). But I'm not talking about their involvement in Nant's disappearence right now, I'm talking information and dynamics:

Prom works in Playboyy, Porche is in charge of Miracle Car Wash.

Prom is the older brother, Porche is the younger one. Yet, Porche is out here ordering around Prom like he is taking care of a child. Either he is truly the baddest bitch on this show or growing up Prom was not the most severe brother against Porche taking in account how family dynamics in Thailand tend to go... Porsche has some balls.

Now, Porche doesn't want Prom to work on Playboyy anymore. He even states that he must hand his resignation due to Nant be back, which makes Prom smile:

Prom is obviously happy about Nant's comeback but also about his job, he ain't bending down to his little brother's wishes.

Is Playboyy also one of their father's business? Would makes sense that you put your eldest in charge.

Porche is coming out to be quite the ambitious boy, managing Playboyy would be a much more profitable and exciting job that a fuckin carwash, but Prom gets more from his job in Playboyy than just being the maître and a possible host.

Porche comments about how meeting up with Nant again can screw them over... Why? Because of their relationship or because of the clips Nant was sending to Captain? Was one of them with Prom? Is Porche looking into protecting the family name?

To continue with Prom for a little: as happy as he seem to the news of Nant being back, he doesn't seem that thrill when meeting Nont.

clever of you to go see him in Nant's white, Nont, but I do think Prom knows his baby better than you do.

Still don't know what the fucking dynamic is apart from what has being obviously stated before but here is when I slowly slide in to talk about

NANT & NONT

First of all, Nont has run out of info and is already slipping, I was fully expecting for him to come clean to First and Zouey during the breakfast:

a bunch of babies

... yet he didn't but found out important info:

the relationship (money wise) Prom and Nant had.

the clips Nant was selling to Captain.

that he's into kinky sex lmao

Seriously now, in what type of trouble was Nant in that all the money (which is not little) Prom was transfering him, combined with what Captain payed him for the clips, wasn't enough? And that's if the money is the problem.

Nont seems to think that Nant is death (so do I) and he could have fallen victim of a rough session gone wrong. Is a possible. It could be accidental.

But if it wasn't, if someone is behind it... Let's go with our only clear suspect right now: Porche.

what is the motive? could be from jealousy or pride. Is not strange for younger siblings to think their older siblings are out of bounds to their friends and Porche is a possesive bitch. If he didn't like Nant to begin with, him fuckin Porche AND getting paid by him would probably send him to the fuckin edge. It could also be a matter of family pride as well. Maybe he knew about the clips, or maybe knew about the relationship by other means and that could tint their father's reputation, therefore also his. Specially if the problem is the clips... that shit would spread like wildefire.

quick to scream at

CAPTAIN

My brother in sin... WHERE THE FUCK ARE THOSE CLIPS GOING AND HOW ARE YOU SO NON CHALANT ABOUT IT? SPECIALLY SINCE YOUR "FRIEND" IS INVOLVED IN THEM?

anygay, he's currently distracted with Puen and Keen and I can tell he's already planning how to get in Keen's pants to join the team...

I don't have much comment (for now) on Teena and Zouey since they seem to be in their own bubble and not involved in the mystery at all, but I'm going to address the elephant in the room:

SOONG & FIRST

My mind tells me two things: "well, this fuckin sucks" and "is a red herring".

We had them going at it with their fuckin shenanigans (never better said) for almost the whole episode. But we keep being reminded about how materialistic Soong seems to be:

First adores this man to the same level Zouey adores Teena, but his eyes are set somewhere else: profit.

Now, we can go to Denial, the river in Egipt, for a while and say that he's being thruthful about how he doesn't want people to think he's with First for the money... But he is. First is a giant bhath sign for him. Even when he goes to leave First home after their little "cosplay" adventure (ominous that they were dress as knock off versions of Ghostface), he just have eyes for the fuckin watch First has eventually given him:

so much so that he gets caught by First's dad

which makes me go into two theories:

either Soong is really dumb and for real has being playing First + he's straigh up a psycho

OR

as many are wishing for, after the massive argument First and his father had, and the knowledge we have that First cannot move out due to his father's controling nature, him and Soong are teamming up to con First's dad... which I also think is a dumb idea, but how cares for now.

or at least that's it for now... I'll probably write more and go in depth as we wait for EP3, but that's my investigation work for now.

Remember, my ask box and my dms are open if anybody wants to scream my way,

Luka out!

[malwaredykes]

To: LUCKY 38 PRESIDENTIAL SUITE TERMINAL

From: Leigh Stasik

Subject: BIG DAMN BUGS

Hi there everybody!

So, it's day 5, and Joshua Graham continues to get on my nerves. I've received a lot of clear signals that the feeling is, of course, mutual. I don't think he's very happy about what I've been doing—or, more accurately, what I haven't been doing. Because he really, really wants to put me to work, in the sense that I'm to run errands for him, and I don't wanna do that. He doesn't agree to help me find a way back home, though, until I help him resolve his business. This, indeed, is a very unsatisfactory situation, as I am essentially being held hostage by the man, and I'm not pleased about him trying to act all kind and compassionate about it. I think he thinks he's doing me a great favor by “humoring” my “condition” (hahaha!) insofar as he hasn't gotten outwardly mean or violent about it. He's a hateful little man, quite homogeneously so with the Legion past of his that he claims he has long since abandoned and healed from. I in turn feel rather hateful whenever I have to listen to him go on and on about the love burning within and without him… Love for what? Vapid goof. Disgusting. I'd mess with him more, but I don't want to upset people here. But oh, how I want to mess with him. At least I know that if he tries to harm me, he won't last very long. I sure do love to hurt those who think themselves indestructible. Am I right? Who's with me?

I went out into the valley with Waking Cloud today, to disarm some traps set up by the White Legs on one of the bridges. She's so sweet! Not going to lie, I'm still a little surprised I managed to make friends here; it's not like I was going out of my way, as I had my own tasks to tend to, and didn't want to bother anyone.

But, anyway. Around noon the sun got reeeeaally harsh, so we decided to sit in the shade for a little while, right by the river, dipping our legs in the water. There's something about the smell of fresh flowing water, right above its surface, when the sun and the heat pull vapor out of it. We talked about a bunch of things. I think I've mentioned this already, but she's a midwife; we discuss medicine a lot, which is fun. She's taught me a lot about local herbs, their properties, and how to get the best results when preparing them. I told her about my hopes for cultivating some of Zion's plants and fungi back in the Mojave. In the end, she asked if perhaps I could stay in Zion. Gosh… What a touching suggestion. But I have family at home! I've got a dog and an eyebot to put through college! But I will return one day, I'm sure. I hope so. Maybe any of y'all wish to come along?

Soooo… We pressed onwards and then I saw them. A small pack of cazadores, nothing unusual for me, though their wings had a yellow tint to it, much paler than the bright orange I'm used to. Cloud was shocked by my nonchalant reaction, how I just pulled out my rifle and got ready to dispatch the creatures if needed, and I didn't understand until one got a little closer. That thing was huge! At least twice the size of the cazadores you'd see in the Mojave! And its chitin was a lot thicker, so it didn't go down with one or two shots. That was crazy. We did manage to hunt down a few, and the two that remained fled. Upon closer inspection, everything about these cazadores was bigger and more messed up. The stinger, the poison glands… Geeze. I wonder if the increased size comes from better air quality. Higher oxygen levels in the atmosphere did cause bugs to evolve larger in prehistoric times. I kinda want to try and make turbo out of these, but I don't think that's wise. I don't have the proper equipment with me to test the precise contents of this venom, and I can't exactly do a taste test. Oh well.

Ronnie-honey, aside from the surprise gift I can't wait to show you, I have a few mechanical tchotchkes for you to take a look at when I get back. You might be able to make sense of them, because I sure can't. I pulled one of them out of this airplane wreck I stumbled across. Well, you'll see.

Raul, Cloud gave me this recipe for agave candy that she makes for her kids. It takes time to prepare, but it's genius. I am so making it for you. And that's final. No ifs or buts. I mean, I'm gonna make it for everyone, but especially you.

Anyway. I need to get a good night's sleep this time. So, write to you later! Love you all! Take care!

Leigh

[themultifanshipper]

I would like to contribute my opinion on the lando/trump situation.

Warning, it's long and a bit nuanced (although slightly more a defence than an accusation but still keep an open mind)

And is edited as i find more things to say

First off, Lando is a victim of the formula one machine just like all the drivers. They are the puppets, the clowns, whatever analogy you want. The people behind the teams (team bosses, ceo's, sponsors etc... are what make the machine run, the drivers are just there to drive. He was approached by the ex president of the country he was in, on a high of winning his first race, and shook his hand while a million cameras were pointing in his direction. That can only happen one way: trump being invited by the team (bosses ceo's, whatever). Now, I despise trump and everything he stands for, but if I was in Lando's situation I would have had to do the same thing. (It so happens I was in a similar situation and had to shut my mouth and shake the hand of a politician I didn't like because I could have caused a diplomatic incident and lost my job and cost a lot of money in sponsorships). Also the alleged comments "It was an honour for him to be there/ you have to have respect for him" etc... are probably bullshit, but in the case that they are not and Lando is actually a trump supporter, if you cancel him for it, you would have to cancel half the drivers/team bosses/Ceo's etc in HISTORY.

The founding of formula one (like any institution ever) is by and for White/Rich/Heterosexual/Males. The FIA is corrupt. The teams are corrupt. It's an industry entirely run by money. It's capitalism in a bottle and some of y'all seem to forget that. The fact is the drivers could all be supporters of the right wing parties in their respective countries, would you cancel all of them?

For example, frank williams, the FOUNDER of Williams f1 team was openly a Thatcher supporter. There is a portrait of the bitch in his house (now his daughter's) as seen below, with a picture of.... george russell??

I also added a picture of Thatcher with Colin Chapman to emphasize that political figures often get involved in sports, doesn't mean the athletes align with their views. Trump, Reagan, Thatcher, Francisco Franco (a literal dictator).... they've all done it.

But let's have a quick look at Georgie boy then. A rich white man, he was quite friendly with Frank Williams, does that mean he's a tory? No. (Tbh he probably is but is smart enough to not talk about it)

Lewis Hamilton of all people was invited to lunch TWICE with the British Royal family (not to mention the knighthood), does that mean he's a racist cunt with no regard for other human lives? No. So why would he associate himself with them? Because he's smart enough to not alienate half the bloody population!

If these people had integrity and perfect morals, they would not be racing in F1. And for the few that are genuinely good people, they're smart enough to just be a cog in the machine to ensure their paycheck. We saw it with the horner situation, they won't get involved unless they actually support the bad guy. Similar situation to palestine, if they speak out either way, they will alienate countless sponsors and probably loose their seat.

Yes it's shit, yes it should be different, yes it should be inclusive but it's just not. It's veeery slowly changing though.

But back to Lando: now he isn't perfect obviously. (He's a white cis probably het man) He might even be right wing who knows, but I think taking alleged comments like "you have to respect the guy" out of context is dangerous. Objectively, yes there is an infinitesimal bit of respect you have to have for trump (hear me out) he managed to become PRESIDENT OF THE UNTIED STATES by manipulating the masses into thinking he was basically the reincarnation of God. Man is a genius, even though he's a cock. He's also a brilliant example of nepotism, capitalism and all round discrimination that represents the system we all live in. Additionally, florida is a pretty right wing state if i'm not mistaken (gun laws/anti abortion/anti lgbt etc...) and if lando had told trump to fuck off, there might have been riots and i'm only barely joking. Lando is a dick for the comments that were perhaps a bit unnecessary but y'all are seeing them as him endorsing trump lmao. As a (hopefully) future public figure, if the president of my country came to see me in front of a bunch of cameras i would also say it was an honour to meet him. At this level it's self preservation.

I will finish this rant by saying that I hope the world of f1 will change for the better in future years, already the gender diversification is going in the right direction, some programs are in place for kids who come from poorer backgrounds etc... but expecting that change to come from the puppets of capitalism is quite unreasonable. Lewis has set some standards that hopefully more and more drivers can stick to, but in the meantime cancelling a dude for breathing the same air as trump is stupid.

Ps: Y'all don't know the half of the awful private corporations and sponsors of the teams and drivers, so if you can't cope with the occasional dick on your screen, you might want to pick a different hobby. Preferably not involving public figures or PR in any capacity.

Edit 1: I've been seing ppl get mad at lando for saying he's his lucky charm and I think it's perhaps a language comprehension barrier thing. He did not say that. Trump said he was lando's lucky charm, then lando mentionned that trump had said it.

Edit 2: I've seen some clips of Zak Brown where he seems to be really friendly with trump. I wouldn't be surprised if it was his idea to introduce him to lando. CEO's are rarely great people, and although i'm glad he's been such a huge part of Lando's journey and success, i'm not a big fan of his. I just wish it would have been with someone a bit less complacent, like max or lewis, they wouldn't have said that stuff and the interaction would have been quite entertaining I reckon.

Edit 3: great post about the misunderstood comments at the press conference here

Don't hesitate to insult me in my asks, i will be answering them with equal enthusiasm :)

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 9-12 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Nomoto and her new online friend had a watch party and discussed the nature of asexuality and homosexuality coexisting, and Nomoto shared about being in love with Kasuga; I'm a big fan of Yako. The ladies managed to connect more with Nagumo, and we learned she has an eating disorder where she can't eat in front of strangers. However, she did make donuts with them and took some home. Kasuga also managed to sever ties with her father after thinking about it and talking with other women. She asked if Nomoto would support her, and of course she did. I will never stop thinking about the Chosen Family scene.

Episode 9

Yes, Yako, coach her. We cannot let them exit this season without talking through their feelings for each other.

I have never identified with a character more than Yako. I would also enjoy my food and wine while watching my friend sweat over the crush.

Yako backstory! It really is hard in your teens when you are deeply out of alignment with other queers about sex.

The power went out and Kasuga immediately went to check on Nomoto. You love to see it.

NOMOTO IS WEARING ONE OF KASUGA'S SWEATERS, AND KASUGA JUST PULLED LINT FROM HER HAIR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Thank you, Nagumo! It would be awkward as hell to sit in this zone of lesbian love and not know what stage we were on!

We have verbal confirmation that Kasuga likes Nomoto! Nagumo, you are our champion! You have to get these two to the next level!!

Currently dwelling on Kasuga not lying when asked directly about her feelings. There's a difference between being out and letting people in, and I like that Kasuga told her truth to Nagumo.

Episode 10

Their project manager is at least being upfront with them that they're being asked to rebuild the entire app.

Sorry, Kasuga, but it's not often we escape compulsory heterosexuality and still have a positive interaction in a sales environment like this.

Nagumo, I love you. You have finally given us a reason to have Kasuga voice her thoughts aloud.

This show really said plainly that the presumption of heteronormativity hurts and upsets people who don't fit that mold.

I really love this show detailing how harrowing pining is when you don't know if the other person is queer and the relationship you've built means so much to you.

Episode 11

Episode 21, you aired on Valentine's Day. Please don't let me down.

This former Valentine's Day and White Day gifting tradition sounds tedious as hell.

I didn't expect Kasuga's family troubles to end with that one phone call, and here goes the aunt downplaying Kasuga's feelings and bulldozing over her expressed boundaries.

Okay, Mikami! Way to come through for my girls!!

I wanna have hotpot so bad right now.

I'm so nervous about these chocolates!!

Damn, this cake looks good. I like putting the whipped cream on the side.

Kasuga picked out different chocolates! I'm so proud of her!

Now, Kasuga, why would you go and crush me like that on Valentine's Day? I know why you need to move, but goddamn.

Episode 12

Invoices for raising her? Vile.

Queers apologizing for being selfish when they confess will never not make me cry.

I'm sorry I got a bit testy at the dramatic cliffhanger, Kasuga. You came through for me exactly the way I hoped. Y'all should definitely find a bigger place together and stay in touch with Nagumo.

"I am very delighted and also taken aback." She's like me and I love her.

Aww that was so beautiful, and she's still crying.

I'm so glad she told Sayama immediately. We stay winning.

Man, I just watched I Only Want to See You, and I'm feeling the same difficulty in the transition from friendship to romance in the relationship.

Yes, ladies, thank you for talking through telling others and reaffirming that this is definitely a romance. Let's make sure no one, especially the audience, misunderstands.

I love how Nomoto bursts into tears when she swoons.

Oh snap the whole squad is going to meet Yako next week!!!

We did it, y'all! We got to see them confess their feelings and start dating. I'm so looking forward to seeing their relationship grow and mature, and I'm actually looking forward to the move and the attendant drama that brings. I hope Nagumo doesn't end up thinking that asking about their relationship somehow cost her the relationship she's been building with them. This was an excellent week of episodes.

Big thanks to @furritsubs for making this possible.

[starcursedluvrs]

doomsday teaser

actor!gojo x techie!geto AU :)

hey y'all! thank you for all the love on Talk, I really appreciate every single like, comment, and reblog. i've started part II, and it should be out within 2 or 3 weeks (i'm a busy lady sorry). in a mean time, here's a little bite of another fic i wrote/am still working on. it's a techie!geto x actor!gojo AU where suguru is a wardrobe crew head for a hit broadway musical, and satoru is the star. this one is for all the former (and current) theater kids (kids as in people above the age of 18, MDNI!). there will be lots of smut and angst and plot to come, but for now, plz enjoy <3

wc: 845

With that, Suguru took a deep sigh and finished walking down the narrow hallway. His shoes squeaked considerably less as he climbed the winding iron staircase up to the cast’s personal dressing rooms. When he got to the top, he was distracted by a white-haired man violently shaking the vending machines in an attempt to release a chocolate bar from its clutches.  

Then he saw those eyes. 

Those beautiful, bright blue eyes. They looked like they contained the entire sky.

Suguru started sorting through color theory in his head to think about which piece of fabric would go best with those brilliant irises. 

“Do, uh. Do you need some help there, doll?” Suguru offered, flustered. 

The man just stared back at Suguru for a moment, before responding, “Sure, crazy bangs. That would be great.” 

“Not sure crazy bangs is such a great comeback from someone who’s attacking a vending machine,” Suguru bantered back. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault my boss man loves chocolate. Gotta stock up for him.”

“Oh, are you Mr. Gojo’s manager?”

“Never thought about it like that. Huh. Guess I am.” 

“Will I see you around then?”

“I guess you could say that, crazy bangs,” the white-haired man said with a smirk. 

A tense moment passed as the two men locked eyes. The mysterious blue-eyed beauty scanned Suguru’s body up and down with no shame. Suguru should have felt self-conscious, but he found himself oddly endeared by the man in front of him. Suguru felt a slight blush prickle over the skin of his cheeks.  

“So when is Mr. Gojo arriving?” Suguru asserted to break the silence. “I have some things I wanted to run over with him in terms of quick changes.” 

“So. You’re costumes?” 

“Yeah.” Suguru answered. Did he say the wrong thing? 

“Makes sense.” The lengthy white haired man smirked and turned on the ball of his foot and started walking - no, sashaying - to the door of Mr. Gojo’s dressing room. As the man opened the door, Suguru caught it behind him. 

“Why does it make sense, doll?” Suguru allowed a soft smile to appear on his lips. For the first time in a while, Suguru was flirting. 

And he was having fun. 

“Because. You’re so serious. You costume and props people always have sticks up your asses.” The man retorted with a snort. 

Suguru rolled his eyes, a verbal bite lingering on his words, “We’re just trying to do our jobs.” 

Even though the blue-eyed stranger was  taller, Suguru seemed to tower over him at that moment. 

“Well, I’m just trying to do mine.” Suguru couldn’t tell if this guy was a douche or if he was also flirting back. He hoped for his sake, it was the ladder. Unfortunately, he also had a job to do. No matter, he still had time to get to know this attractive stranger.

“Great. So, do you have an ETA on your client?” 

“Client? What client?” The man looked so confused. 

“…Mr. Gojo…” 

“Oh, we’re still playing that game.” 

“What game?” 

“You seriously don’t know who I am?” 

“You’re Mr. Gojo’s manager.” Suguru stated. 

The white haired man burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. It took a second for him to collect himself.

“Hot and funny. I’m keeping you around, crazy bangs.”

Suguru’s brain short circuited at that. Attractive stranger also finds him attractive. Noted.

“Haha,” Suguru offered a weak, uncomfortable laugh,”Not that I wouldn’t want that too, but I really have a job to do, doll.” 

Those blue eyes blinked in disbelief. 

“Wow. You’re serious, ok. Let’s start over.”

The man stuck out his hand, which looked as if it was crafted of the finest porcelain.

“I’m Satoru Gojo. It’s nice to meet you, what’s your name?”

Suguru looked at Satoru until it finally clicked in his head. So this was the brat Nanami was talking about. 

Suguru shook his hand hesitantly, as another question crossed his mind. “You said you were Gojo’s manager though,” Suguru pointed out.

“You’re putting words in my mouth, I said I had never thought of it that way. I guess I am kind of like my own manager because I don’t have one. I manage myself, thank you very much,” Satoru turned his nose and dramatically looked away from Suguru.

“But… who’s boss man?” 

“Oh that’s what I call Nanami. I asked him what his favorite candy was and I’m stocking up on it so that every time I annoy him, I can apologize with a chocolate bar.” 

A deep rumble left Suguru’s chest as he laughed at Satoru’s comment.

“I’m sure Nanami loves being called boss man.” 

“Oh please, he’ll grow into the nickname. Didn’t get your name yet though, crazy bangs.”

“Suguru Geto. Wardrobe Crew Head.” 

“If I see you around later, maybe I can show you how it feels to have something other than a stick up your ass.”

Banners by @bunnysrph

[quartzalynlove]

The Hands We're Dealt

Pairing: Cherokee bill x black fem reader

Summary: Bill wanders into your town just to see you

Warnings: angst and use of the n word

A/N: finally watched The Harder They Fall and I still can't resist a man played by my future husband

It hadn't been your week recently. After all the years, the law was finally catching up to you and your gang. After all you sacrificed to build this town where your people could prosper, the man was finally coming to collect.

It started with the law responding just a bit too quick after your hits. That morning, a general of the U.S. army stepped into your town and gave the gang until next week to disperse before his men dealt with you themselves.

You sat with your brothers and sister that had been with you from the start. You would never surrender to the white man, but there was still only so much longer you could run. If there was one thing you hated, it was running, but even if you killed the whole fleet of troops the army sent, you'd never be safe in your town again. Your name would be all over the west.

Tina got your attention, the first to provide a solution instead of just talking about finding one.

"Law's not bad just two counties south from. We could set up there."

You waved your hand dismissively, reaching for the glass of whiskey on your desk.

"The further we run the further they'll spread. Do we keep runnin' til we're in the goddamn ocean?"

The room fell silent as defeat finally sunk into the air. At this rate, the only thing that could help you was a night in the saloon.

Suddenly, the call of a bird echoed into the night, and the corners of your mouth twitched. Everyone looked around curiously.

"That damn bird again."

"Where does it come from?"

They'd only hear it about once a week, but no one ever managed to see it. However, you knew exactly where to find that bird.

You stood from your chair, breaking the murmurs of confusion. "Y'all turn in; I'll deliberate overnight. Keep your senses sharp and your spirits high. I'll die before I let this town burn."

Everyone gave you a nod as they walked out. No matter how stern and sure you were, they all knew what was coming for them. In the empty room, you let out a heavy sigh before downing the rest of your drink.

Bill had waited a while at the back of your office building. Just as he was about to call again, you finally met him, walking slow as the distance closed between you.

"Cherokee Bill," you all but whispered. "In my town?"

A small smirk rested on his face as he leaned against the building. "I must've lost my way, ma'am."

You stared into each other's eyes for a moment before leaning into each other. Bill's hand rested on your hip as he kissed deep into you, hungry for you. You knew that kiss, and you knew the look in his eyes when you pulled away.

"How's Trudy?" You asked.

Bill shrugged. "Still Trudy."

"And Buck?"

"Do you really care?" Bill gave a dry chuckle

"No," you shook your head. "But I need somethin' to talk about, and I can't count on you for that."

Bill smiled as he crossed his arms. "I'm fine, by the way."

You mimicked him as an act of defiance. "I know you are; you better be."

"How are you?" Bill asked sincerely.

There were so many ways you could answer him, but what was Bill going to do about it? Even though you weren't fine, after those fifteen minutes he'd go back to his town and you'd go back in yours to fight your own battles.

"I'm fine," you said. "Need a favor though."

"Anything."

You stiffened a bit in front of Bill. Meeting like that was supposed to be a chance to unwind for the both of you, but you couldn't afford to not think of your work.

You looked up, staring Bill in the eye. "Next time Buck gets a score, make sure it ain't my fuckin' money."

Bill looked down and nodded slowly. A week ago, Buck's gang robbed a train whose company was in business with you, and Buck knew it. You hated how Buck pushed every other gang around like they weren't his people with his goals. He may have been big enough to get away with it, but you weren't going to let your buttons get pushed again.

Bill started to reach into his coat, "That's right," he pulled out two stacks of cash and held it out to you. "Here, it's my cut."

Just managing to hold back your scowl you lashed out at Bill. "I don't need your money, Bill."

"You just said it was yours." He went back at you in that exasperated tone that irritated you.

"And now it ain't," you couldn't yell and get caught with Bill in your town, but the intention came across crystal clear. "The last thing I need from you, Bill, is your pity."

Bill squeezed his eyes shut and faced up at the sky as a frustrated sigh left his lips.

"Take the money, Y/N," he stretched his hand further, his jaw visibly clenched. "You think I agreed with Rufus takin' that money from you. I'm just tryna make somethin' right."

Your face was stone as you huffed at Bill before snatching the money out of his hands, not waiting until later to count through it.

"What's the matter with you," he asked sincerely, scanning over you as if he'd find the answer in your features. "We're not in trouble, are we? I'd rather you step into Redwood and shoot me than let me ride all the way out here to chew my ear off."

As you put the money inside your own coat pocket, you dropped your shoulders. You were still livid, but you stopped directing it at Bill.

"Seventy grand, Bill. That's how much y'all took from me," you waved his finger at him. "I can't run my town off two grand and bank heists. I'm runnin' out of white folk to rob this far west."

Bill nodded in understanding as he brought a hand to your arm. "I know, baby, and I'm sorry."

His hand traveled the length of your arm, and your gaze finally softened. Seeing your curls in the moonlight, Bill brought his other hand to cup your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you once again.

You loved Bill more than anything. In a perfect world it would just be you two as outlaws together. But your hands were already dealt, and you had to see them through the end of the game.

With his hand snaked around your waist, Bill pulled you flush against his body; your hat fell to the ground as you put your arms around his neck. Softly, he pushed you against the wall as his hands and lips started to travel. As he started to push your coat off, he felt your hands on his chest.

"Bill," you called him, staring into those big brown eyes that you knew held your reflection inside. "The army's after me."

A worried crease put itself between Bill's brows. "The army."

"Yup," you said softly before picking your hat off the ground. "General gave us a week before he came back to shoot us niggas down himself. We're thinkin' of runnin'"

"To where?" Bill asked knowing the same thing you did.

"I don't know where, but..."

Bill called your name, and you knew by the look on his face exactly what he was about to say. Usually, he was only dumb enough to say it half drunk off his liquor or love for you.

"Don't you look at me like that, Bill."

As if he knew how stupid what he was thinking was he hesitated before speaking. "I want you to be safe; you and your folks."

You got angry again, stepping closer towards Bill. "And we'll find a way, but I am not moving to Redwood."

Bill just shook his head. "If I talk anymore, you'll shoot me."

"Then hold your tongue."

But he couldn't. Bill couldn't leave your town without trying everything in his power to keep you safe. He knew this ended with you dead, and so did you. For the past few years, a good part of his world lied with you, and he didn't know what he'd do if he lost it.

He said it anyway, talking fast so you didn't have long to act on your reactions. "We've got more men, more resources, and half the state's law work for us. You'd be safe in Redwood."

Bill was right; you were stuck between smacking him across the face or putting a bullet in his leg, but you stayed still with your hands balled in fists.

"Who the hell do you think you're talkin' to?"

"The woman I love—"

"Shut your mouth." The distance closed between you and Bill again, but this time the air around you turned threatening.

"I'll put a bullet in my own head before I work for Rufus Buck, stealin' from and killin' my own kin."

"Buck is building a promised land." Bill remained calm.

You spoke through clenched teeth. "He is building a dictatorship."

Bill looked away and put some distance between you two, "I don't wanna lose you, Y/N." Was all he said with a tired voice.

"But you don't ever think about what I'd lose," your words bit. "You want me to tell my gang that we'll follow the orders of the man who wronged us, and we were forced to wrong back? You ain't thick in the head, Bill."

Bill had nothing to say for himself. He thought it best just to let you talk yourself out.

"You said you didn't agree with Buck stealing from me, yet once we're done here, you'll go running back right to him."

"If I leave Rufus, I'll be on the run for the rest of my life."

"You think I can't protect you?" You cocked your head to the side.

"And what about the army," Bill started to lose his temper. "I want you in my life, Y/N. Since that shoot out in Odessa, all I've wanted is to see you next to me in the morning and take a ride out with you at night. I know how selfish I am to ask you this, but I don't care."

Your lips were in a tight line as a shuddering breath escaped you and tears pricked your eyes.

"You think I don't want the same? Sometimes all I can wonder is how easier things would be if you were here, but these are the hands we've been dealt. You make all this talk about choices, but don't ever make one yourself," you turned from Bill, starting back to your house. "Go on outta here before I shoot you dead."

As Bill watched you walk away, your dress flowing in the wind, he felt part of his spirit die. He didn't have to wait for you to get killed, he lost you all on his own. As he unhitched his horse from a tree nearby, all Bill could do was pray that you'd make a way out of this mess like you always seemed to before.

[dragon-cookies]

Motivating myself to watch episode 6 by telling myself I can skip all of Adam's dialogue if I want

FINALLY we get a fuckin kiss between Charlie and Vaggie. It's still just a cheek kiss but I'll take it

Oh yeah Cherri Bomb was a character from the pilot huh

WHITE MAN JUMPSCARE

I still realllly feel like having the angels swear was a bad call but here we are ig

Okay at first impression, I'm not super impressed by Heaven's design. It just looks like hell but with a pastel color palette. Same with the angel designs, there's not really anything that sets them apart

[vine boom sound effect]

Ah, Adam again, time to mash the skip button

"No one but the exorcists can know about the exterminations" WAIT so Heaven doesn't even know they're exterminating demons????

Vaggie's a fallen angel we all called it

Girl why did you let this gross fuck pick your name, and then KEEP it?

Oh wait that's a cute as hell backstory for Vaggie and Charlie, really wish we got to see more of them but they're barely a focus

"Their love is vile and blasphemous." Are you saying that because Vaggie's an angel and Charlie's a demon or because they're both women

"Hot as fuck though" yep definitely because they're both women

Webster's Dictionary exists in this universe. I'm not sure what to make of that

"What do you think it takes to get into Heaven?" Clearly not a lot if they let Adam stay there

Why is Angel talking about Val like he's just a pushy manager and not his literal abuser, what is happening here

When did Angel Dust give a shit about getting into Heaven?? This is just Alastor all over again where these characters have a significant change of heart completely off screen

What is Angel's "progress" even supposed to be?? Is he sober now? Going to actual therapy? You can't just say a character's making progress without actually telling us what they're doing to better themselves

Pentious you are too good for this show, someone please rescue this man

Cool, y'all did THAT joke.......

WAIT so NO ONE actually KNOWS how to get into Heaven????? What?????????

Once again a really good song that doesn't feel earned whatsoever

Okay if Heaven didn't know about the exterminations what the fuck did they think the angels were doing going to Hell each year??

"If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie" PREACH IT

Also kinda feel like Charlie learning Vaggie was an angel could've had some more weight to it if maybe Charlie had a traumatic experience with angels or, idk actually seemed to be traumatized from seeing her people slaughtered. But FUCK dude the reveal itself is SO well done what the actual fuck

Okay so, absolute banger song at the end there. But where the fuck do we go from here?? This feels like it could've been a season finale yet we have a few more eps to go I'm pretty sure.

[mayamoreen]

GEM PROTECTORS: CHAPTER ONE

  “Welcome to this year's interns, I hope you will all teach them everything they need to know about the gaming industry,” The manager introduced the boys.

  “ My name is Wooyoung, Jung Wooyoung, I'll be in your care,” Wooyoung introduced and bowed politely.

  “ My name is Choi San,  I hope we can work well together,” San followed.

  “ My name is Kang Yeosang, let's make some great memories,” Yeosang introduced and the staff clapped.

Being in the company wasn't that hard as others had told them, all they did was get coffee for the staff, carry some documents and sit on their desks all day. It was quite amusing to see how professionals made games and just like that their first day was over.

  “ Get home safe boys and you better be careful there are a lot of mysterious things happening,” the manager said.

  “ What mysterious things, Miss Jane,” Wooyoung asked curiously.

  “ Well, it's not like I believe in these things but I heard that last night a white beam of light was spotted near RB street,” Miss Jane responded.

  “ Aww Yeosang isn't your home area around RB street,” San said looking worriedly at Yeosang.

  “ What's there to be afraid of a white beam, it's just light I buy sunglasses or take Wooyoung’s fake glasses,” Yeosang said and Wooyoung and Miss Jane couldn't help but laugh but San still looked worried.

  San was always the protective on in the group but he was especially protective of Yeosang, he was constantly asked why he loved or felt the need to protect Yeosang and each time he would respond by saying, ‘ Yeosang is a very delicate person, he seems too good for the world and his kindness can easily be taken advantage of, he's like a gem,’

  “ Look, how about I call you immediately after I get home, how does that sound,” Yeosang reassured San.

Walking back home Yeosang couldn't help but be curious if what Miss Jane said was true but just as he was about to look it up he saw a group of people gathering.

  “ Excuse me, what's going on,” he curiously asked one of the people.

  “ It's the man who saw the white beam, he keeps mumbling about what he saw,” the man responded and Yeosang tried to get closer.

  “ This is a sign that the gem has been located, y'all should braise yourselves, danger is not just in the present but in the past and future,” the old man, almost in his nineties said.

  “ What gem is that,” one person shouted.

  “ Yeah, is it expensive,” another shouted.

  “ Your eyes are all covered with worldly desires, don't you realise, it dangerous, if you find it, you should destroy it or it might fall into the wrong people,” the old man continued

  “ If a lot of powerful people want it, it must be expensive right,” 

 “ Old man tell us where the gem is,” one man said and everyone started harassing the old man until Yeosang couldn't help but help the old man.

  “ Thank you young man,” the old man said but as soon as the man looked at Yeo Sang he jumped away from him.

  “ Sir, that's not very safe, I'm not going to hurt you,” Yeosang tried to clarify.

  “ You will bring great disasters to this world and the people around you,they came here because of…,” just as the old man was done talking, an arrow was shot and he died right in front of Yeosang.

Yeosang couldn't believe what he was seeing and froze as he stared at the arrow heading towards him but suddenly someone pulled him away, held his hand and dragged him with him running.

  “ We are safe now, are you ok, are you hurt?” The mysterious man asked him but Yeosang was still in shock to answer.

The man directed Yeosang to his condo and tried to help Yeosang back into his senses.

  “ This is not the time to be like this, I need to get you to a safe place before the other finds you,” he said.

  “ Other? What other? Who are you and what just happened, we have to go back and check up on the old man,” Yeosang said with fear written all over his face.

  “ You don't understand, if they find you, the past, present and future are done for,” the man explained.

  “ But I'm just an intern at a gaming company, I don't belong to any rich family, what would they want from me?” Yeosang asked, tears rolling down his cheeks.

  “ You are more valuable that you could ever imagine,”

  “ And you, what do you want from me and who exactly are you,” Yeosang asked.

  “ My name is Song Mingi, and I'm from the year 1890, sent here to protect the gem,” Mingi said.

    AUTHOR'S NOTE 

  Ok we just met Yeosang, San, Wooyoung and Mingi…I feel sorry for Yeosang he just started interning at his dream company and here is Mingi telling him that he's from the past after watching a man get killed. San was so right to be worried about him…sorry Yeo Sang. I don't think sunglasses or Wooyoung's glasses can help now…

[marta-bee]

Where's that Supernatural meme when you need it?

There was a second assassination attempt made against Trump this afternoon. Luckily Secret Service saw an AK-style

The biography of the man in custody is --hoping it's not too early to talk about these things-- frankly fascinating. The most comprehensive run-through I've seen so far is from the NY Post, so take all this with a grain of salt, but if what they're saying is accurate: he's a late-50s, white man from Hawaii, went to college in NC (.... yeah ....) and had a criminal record there. Critic of Trump but also Biden and bizarrely of Bruno Mars. Supporter of Nikki Haley and Vivek Ramaswamy. Actually tried to buy a rocket from Elon Musk so he could launch a missile at Putin's house. Tried to get the US to send Afghani vets into Russia to assist in the war against Russia and offered to go himself.

Somehow still managed to buy or otherwise get an AK-style rifle.

I really don't want to valorize him, but I'd also read the heck out of a fanfic involving him. He fascinates me.

All that said.... there's so much anger and fear in my country right now, and there's just such easy access to guns in certain circles. There really are better ways. This is where I tell all y'all to vote and get engaged in other, still legal and effective ways. But you probably know my schpiel on that point already.

[pliablehead]

I guess if I want to write a travelogue/write up post about my 4-stop journey following the first chunk of Everything Everything's 2023 US tour then I have to just... do it!! If this is of interest to anyone other than me then GREAT and if not then it's still special to me to try to write down and remember everything I can uwu

FIRST STOP WASHINGTO-- wait, no, actually, first stop, on my way out of town, the local donut shop in my neighborhood, a place that I absolutely adore and patronize all the time with staff who mostly know me by now/some of whom are my instagram friends/etc. i'd checked with the Pittsburgh venue ahead of time to see if it was okay to send in outside food as a gift to the band even though they have a cafe/bar in their own right, and whoever I corresponded with said it would be totally fine, so I talked to the donut shop manager and set up a delivery of a dozen for the lads for Saturday before their show here. advance paid for that, as well as getting my own breakfast and coffee hehe, and then hit the road. OKAY FOR REAL FIRST STOP WASHINGTON DC!!! This was the second-longest leg of my Car Driving and it was definitely a wee bit exhausting but I had a podcast or two and a ton of E E on shuffle to bolster me through and I made it to my mom's friends' house, where I was staying, with relative ease. The venue was within a not-too-unreasonable walking distance too so after a change of clothes (I had very distinct and deliberate Show Outfits for each night that were fully separate from my travelin' clothes) and a bunch of fussing with the bracelets™ I headed over!! stopped for empanadas and a smoothie on the way and then queued up!!

aaaaahh this was such a nice fun queue. I was maybe about a dozen-ish people back from the front, down about half a block, and once I finished scarfing down my food this was my first real experience with doling out the bracelets. so fun! I'm glad it was basically an instant hit! AND I even got a few trades in this queue--one person gave me a Man Alive / Tin / E E bracelet with teeny tiny beads, super fun, and one person with a SHITTON of kandi stuff gave me one that had the name of a flower genus on it?? i think they said it was?? I love the colors on this one! And one person traded me a Blow Pop. lmao. I should eat that before it sits in my fanny pack for too long. I also really enjoyed chatting with the two guys right in front of me (Nick and Alex?), who were from south-central PA and had a couple other fandom touchstones in common with me (mcelroys/dnd/BDG! I love this Venn diagram!!) as well as a big love for E E. We didn't really see much of each other beyond the point of getting inside but I liked y'all a lot!! Hope you had as great a time as I did!!

Black Cat is where I saw E E the first time I EVER SAW THEM, which was almost exactly six years ago from this gig, which is insaaaane. The space is kind of narrow so there's not a huge amount of stage barrier space right at the front, so Becky and I ended up pretty much at the front but almost aa-all the way stage left/Jeremy-side. coulda been worse hehehe. We kind of loitered and chatted with nearby folks, I think maybe becky checked out merch ahead of the show ? but I kind of just held down the fort, enjoying setup stuff, pete running around etc hehe. getting BLASTED by the AC, which was nice.

the ummmm the opener! our first experience with Pierre! I gotta say his general style is not for me, despite the fact that I do think he's very talented and good at the thing he's doing. this first night especially he was SO sweaty and I felt bad for him lmao, you could like see it dripping off him. i am so curious as to why/how he got paired with the boys for this tour, like, what aligned in such a way that this match was made, because my general vibe on the crowd/his audience/etc was that we the fans of the nerdy white english mathy rocker guys were not exactly his demo LOL. BUT i will say in DC I do think he had one little pocket of strong-contingency fans because I kept hearing big whoops and cheers coming from one specific audience spot and I loved that for him lmao. for some reason i cannot explain I actually almost found his backing/support musician guy (the guy who was basically his version of peter) more compelling. I wanna know THAT dude's story lol.

so when he finished up we had a little interlude aaaannndd the setlist appeared... hehe. I could def have peered up to look at it from where I was, but I was telling myself I wanted to be surprised, and was deliberately looking away........ until suddenly everyone around me was gasping and going HOLY SHIT and I was like, ugghhh okay, I will check JUST enough to figure out what that's all about, and what that was all about was immediately apparent because smack in the middle of the set were a Man Alive track (which we never get in the states bar MY KZ) and something that just said "New Song." AND LIKE, OKAY, THAT'S A JUSTIFIED HOLY SHIT. new song????? so now we had THAT to contend with coming up, and aaaaaaah. ahh. yeah holy shit indeed.

it's also while we're standing there that AG pops into view, (or maybe I first spotted him during Pierre's set? Chronology is irrelevant), back off behind Becky from me in the other direction, and we waved over at him to say hi and he says to us, "All four of them are bleached blond." And my gut instinct was to be like, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, but also the truth in my heart was that there was absolutely no justification for not believing them, because of course they would, and sure enough these bozos roll out onto the stage and they are all four draco malfoy-ass bleach blond. God it looks a mess on Jeremy LOL and while the color/dye job wasn't bad on Alex, it was clear his finer hair wasn't holding up as well against the chemicals because it was just a fluffy riot mess. BUT GOD IT WAS REALLY SO INCREDIBLY STRIKING OF A VISUAL for them to be all be wearing all pure white/beige clothes and then to have this bleach-white hair and all of it catching and glowing under the stage lights... god... clearly the effect they were going for and it WORKED, IT REALLY DID. I think it looks so damn goofy (mostly on jez) out of context but it's ABSOLUTELY nailing the Everything Everything Gig Costumes energy/uniform thing that I felt like they'd drifted away from a little the past couple tour cycles, I'm so incredibly here for it

The set!!!! The gig!!!!!!! it wasn't a wildly different set from what we'd seen in CA last year, obviously RDF-heavy supplemented with a heaping helping of singles from the other albums too, but I remember thinking Leviathan and Pizza Boy were especially excellent aaaah. And Schoolin'! And the NEW SONG! The two pieces of it I IMMEDIATELY absorbed and retained were 'the image of a little yellow face to tell you that I'm sorry' and 'I love you like an atom bomb,' and I was spouting those two pieces back to anyone who wanted to talk to me about it for the rest of the night. I'm so lyrics-pilled/vocalist-biased. Which was.... Unfortunate, for this DC gig, because I do think the audio mix was pretty rough - at least from where we were standing so close to the front, I wonder if it was at least a tiny bit better further back into the crowd in the area the sound system was probably primarily calibrated for - and we were REALLY losing Jon in the mix, especially underneath how enthusiastically the crowd was singing along a lot of the time. We were on Jeremy's side of the stage and we were really just getting a LOT of Jeremy. (Which, the bass did sound absolutely fantastic, so hard to complain about that, at least, but still.) I was very thankful to be going to a few more gigs beyond this one so that this wasn't my only experience with it, especially New Song!!! Plus there were a bunch of other little tech difficulties too? Near the beginning of the new song, Jon's guitar strap came detached and wouldn't reconnect, and after struggling a bit with that he decided to just drift back and pass it off the stage to their tech guy--but he was still kind of singing/holding the mic, so as he moved on stage, the mic cable yanked the microphone stand straight over, too. Then the rest of the night that stand was pretty precarious and nearly fell two other times, only caught at the last minute by a true homie who was standing directly in front of it in the audience lmao. I think Becky yelled HIRE HIM! at one point. Annnnd also for like a whole verse of NOTLK jez's bass boards just kind of Gave Up. He tried switching to his other instrument but that wasn't working either, and then finally it all sort of came back online, so he played a little stretch with the wrong bass and then was able to switch back to the right bass when there was a lull in his part. SHAMBLES. lmfao. god it was a great gig though. SO FUCKING GOOD TO BE BACK I LOVE BAND UWAAAAAHH I WAS SO SWEATY AND HAPPY

afterrrr da gig, we needed very badly to drink water and so we managed to do that I believe, and we kind of loitered in the Merch Line Situation trying to figure out what was going on. I had kind of resolved not to buy merch until at least NY, part because I really didn't want to be lugging anything around with me for too much of my trip (esp on this night where I walked) and part because I'd read a post that Irving Plaza was among the venues who'd committed to not taking a cut of band merch sales and letting them keep it all, and I was like, well obvi that's where I want to spend my money. Plus it was cash only in DC and since I'd kind of told myself NY I didn't even have cash out, so it was nothing. BUT!!! homie Adrian whomst I had met at the DC Foals show last December had been there, a few people ahead of me in the queue and also rocking out yaayyy, and he was trying to get merch but the ATM inside the venue literally did not have any more cash left inside it to dispense because everyone was taking out so much of it to buy merch AAAH. so he reached out to me like 'you're going to more shows than just this one right?' and asked if I'd pick him up the stuff he wanted later and then mail it to him so he didn't have to contend with international shipping and I was like aaaah absolutely! yay gig comradeship!

so I think becky finally committed to getting in the merch line and I was mostly just waiting With Becky and there weren't a ton of people left because the venue was trying to clear out, but the handful of us who were still there, a wild Alex Robertshaw appeared up near the stage/bar. we vibed out whether he was receptive to Fan Bothering at this time but it seemed legit, so a bunch of us went over and socialized with him and took some pics, got some signatures, etc, woooo. We tried to vibe out from him also if the other guys were gonna be coming out, and when and where, but y'all know Alex is the awkwardest member of this band by a country mile and we didn't really have too coherent of a discourse at this point in time lmao. Not sure who talked to him about what at this point as I was just trying to hold down the fort and be Normal. I was able to give Alex the bracelet I'd made for him at this point (he was so cute studying on it and reading it ahaha - "rave-- kevin-- kevins rave KEVIN'S RAVE" and he smiled and I felt cool), and also meanwhile Pete was still running around stage doing roadietech type stuff and I sort of politely flagged him down like "do what you need to do if you need to do it but also: Hi lol" and I got to give him his bracelet as well! yay ♥. He complimented my shirt--I'd been getting a lot of compliments on it honestly, it's their Yellow Bird Project shirt that Jon designed some time ago, only I replaced the plain white sleeves of the original unisex tee with some sort of vermilion "girly fit" sleeves that are more comfy to me and kind of give the shirt a different look haha--and I sort of joked on that, said as much, oh, I swapped the sleeves out, "It's to cover up how sweaty I get." and Pete gave me a deadpan look and went "You don't even want to go there with me" and I was like "YEP I FEEL MUCH THE SAME" and I think we both enjoyed a moment of feeling very Seen about the sweatiness hehehehehe. I love Pete he is my heckin Friend With no additional merch purchases (merchases) (hm, no) the venue was finally for realsies ejecting us so we drifted back out into the streets and just like... okay... now what........ this was the point at which I think our Band Groupie-ing Crew became me, Becky, Danielle in the fox ears/tail, and a lanky youth named S.P. whom I'd talked to in line earlier while doling out bracelets (he had the good E E baseball cap; he asked for an Arc bracelet and I commended him for being an Arc fan, since I feel like they are a dwindling/rarer breed, and then I offered up my hot take that Violent Sun is just the second coming and second pass at Duet, which he thought was spicy, and then he asked for my most controversial E E take and I told him that I don't really like Tin very much and he told me he doesn't really like Shark Week very much and we agreed to disagree and have a good night LOL) (anyway I digress !). It was a warm enough night and none of us really had places to be so we didn't mind just loitering and trying to suss out some more Guys other than just Alex and Pete, but slowly but surely we became basically the only fans left sticking it out. so we stuck together! We split up to try to find if there was a rear stage door at the back and SP and I went one way (the long way RIP) and Becky and Danielle went the other way and it turns out the way that SP and I went was an alleyway just FULL of rats. Too many rats in DC!! People like to talk about rats in NYC but I saw WAY more in Washington just vibing out on the sidewalks and eating trash. I'm not anti-rat, they live there and deserve to live, but oh man it was just. I did not especially want a rat encounter LOL. The rat alley DID actually lead us to where the bus was though!!, but there was also a venue security guy there who was immediately like "Nope, back up, leave, bye" and we were like. understood have a nice day, and doubled around a different way to meet back up with the other two. wwwwelp.

We loitered a bunch more and eventually saw Alex and his homies like, AT LEAST two more times, but we ultimately never saw anyone else. They p much confirmed for us that because this was the first night of the tour, they had a really intense load-out, and everyone was jetlagged to all fuck, that they probably wouldn't ever make it out, even though at least once Alex had said something ambiguous/optimistic enough to imply that they might yet, but really it just got SO late that we couldn't justify still being there for nothing instead of being like. asleep. lol. SP and Danielle got rideshares, Becky and I walked back as far as her hotel together, and then I hiked the rest of my way back too and went the fuck to SLEEP!!! FIRST GIG IN THE BOOKS!! WHAT A LOVELY NIGHT GOD IT WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL TO BE SEEING THEM AGAIN ngl I think the blond is really attractive on Mike with his darker brows/beard and I'm always a sl*t for jonathan so like. beautiful. finally some delicious fucking food

it was super nice of my mom's friend to let me stay with him!!! I was so delighted to see his cats again, I remembered them from the last time I was there like six or so years ago, they're sooooo floofy and beautiful aahh. he also provided me with a white noise fan without me even asking which was SO choice. zzzzz. My plan was to get up in the morning, get coffee someplace nearby at wherever he recommended, and then hit the road forrrr... Philadelphia!!! Night two!!!! I got some breakfast tacos at a hella legit place, messed up my coffee/milk/sugar ratio ever so slightly but not in an undrinkable way, and then frickin. autobot rolled out. This drive was not bad at ALL, I timed it pretty much exactly like I planned it to, which was to: get to my friend's place where I was crashing in philly with, ideally, enough time to take a small nap before I had to do anything else, because, god, despite being pretty exhausted and sleeping okay on the nice guest bed in DC, I had BARELY slept the night before I left just from Travel Antsiness and from both staying up way later and waking up way earlier than I meant to unintentionally, and a second little recharge zzz before I went and did it all over again really hit the spot.

It was soooo nice to see Mads again and to see Mr. Angus and also meet BENNY!! More host cats!! They are suuuch silly good little lads, Mads and I had a ton of Kitty Chat and just vibing out and talking about concerts and fandom and stuff, I was so thankful she let me stay with her and getting to hang out was icing on the cake of this trip! She pointed me toward the trolley I'd need to take to get to the venue, and after my baby snzzz and drinking a ton of water and suiting up in my Arc-inspired look (literally just a sweatshirt dress I bought specifically because it was color-blocked very very much like the jackets/outfits they toured Arc in, I saw it and bought it immediately lmfao) I journeyed into the city, hoping to just find a place to eat in the vicinity of the gig! I was way closer up in the queue this time, the people in front of me were really just like.... the usual suspects, Annika+squad and David+squad (incl. Becky, who'd apparently already been there when I got there but wasn't there when I arrived), and also a super-nice woman immediately in front of me named Robin who I MEGA hit it off with!!! Hanging out with her was such an awesome part of my experience at this gig!!! she's COMPLETELY Offline which is so powerful for her but I hope there's some capacity in which we can continue to be friends because she ruled.

There was a Dominican(? I think) place like one block down from the venue where a couple in front of me had gotten some stuff and so I ran down there to snag food too and holy shit this man gave me so much goddamn food. Just a HUGE pile of rice and beans and some pork ribs, and I got a pineapple fanta, and I just popped a squat on the sidewalk and ate as much of it as I could which was probably not even half of what he gave me but it wasn't even that expensive so god bless. Once I wasn't dealing with my food sitch any more I was freed up to pass out a bunch of bracelets again, and I even got a couple more trades, one that was just a bunch of black beads and a bunch of Xs and one that says 'BUSSY' which I am elated about, thank you so fucking much lmao. Also someone offered to trade me an ibuprofen LOL and I was like no that's fine the bracelet can be free... for now, but I will keep that in mind if I change my mind later LOL aaahhh i was just so excited to give the bracelets out it was such a good vector for socializing and making Friends and Gig Buddies. I did learn p quickly at Philly that I should have made way more Man Alive, GTH, and Raw Data feel bracelets because those were basically the first to go every night and then I got stuck with just sad unloved Re-Animators and AFDs :( I was trying to like! do equal amounts of everything to give everything the love because I love them all! but people got favorites out there damn lmao. I was happy to be able to give Robin the MY KZ one because she said that's the first song she ever heard by them and it's special to her because of that (and then also it's been in the touring set and she got to hear them perform it too yay!!! I don't remember if she said she'd seen them before but it had just been a very very long time, or what, idk, aaaah).

We were R I G H T on the stage at this venue, slightly more to Alex's side this time, and the lip/rise of the stage was not very high at ALL and it felt almost like... intimidating, or like it shouldn't have been ALLOWED, for us to be that close to the stage. :flushed emoji: jeez lmao. I didn't fuck w merch here either but some people around me did I think and I held their spots, and a nice kid from right behind me in the queue brought me a Liquid Death which was so incredibly sweet. Pierre's set passed much as it had in DC, lmao; his other musician guy had a sweet fit on, though, this like two-piece set that was a really really dark/muted camo, a blazer over a black top and then matching like athleisure-fit pants and black boots, it was a fuckin look. They had a song at the very end of Pierre's Philly set that I don't think they'd done in DC (and that I didn't get in PGH either, it turned out), and ironically that was actually probably far and away the song of his I enjoyed the most, so I got kind of into it there at the end! but MAN was I ready to see the boys instead. hnnnn.

LADS SO CLOSE TO ME. JUST RIGHT THERE AND SINGING AND ROCKING. the set was aaaalmost exactly the same as DC, but in Philly they shifted Bad Friday up out of the encore and back into the set proper, and then replaced it in the encore with Violent Sun, which I admit I'd been bummed to not see in DC because I think the Violent Sun/No Reptiles encore double whammy is so incredibly crucial to the vibe. Warmed me to have it back in. Obviously Pittsburgh had so many other contributing factors that put it over the edge, but if it weren't for all of those, I think Philly would've been my favorite/best experience of these four gigs. Jon was spicy (he sang so many of the Original Rejected naughty lyrics, this is where we got 'he's a vegetable now' for the first and only time and also the only gig of the four where he leaned into the 'Arch Jeremy' gag in Arch Enemy, hehehehe, plus also motherfuckin' distant past which is not uncommon), and we got way more of the New Song-- through the whisper network of Becky, AG, David, etc., etc., we'd pieced together enough info to know by now that apparently the title of the song was in the lyrics of the chorus, and so I think it was in Philly that we all pretty much determined/decided that this was Cold Reactor. I love you like an atom bomb and I've become a cold reactor. I wasn't diving as DEEP into SONG DECIPHERING as some other folks were, but I did like kind of working on it at my own pace and absorbing it into my heart and my understanding of the band and what they're about to start doing, and so this was really great, for me, here, beautiful, beautiful. I took almost NO pics and vids at this one because my phone was kind of dying but also mostly just because I was honestly having such an enormously great time and I didn't feel the need to try to do anything other than be present in my body at the gig and experience it live. you KNOW?? LIKE!! MUSIC. man. EDIT TO ADD: I forgot to mention a small tech flub that was actually so charming, where near the very end of Arch Enemy jon seemed to be having trouble with his guitar board in the front, and he spent so long in the outro squinting down at it and trying to resolve the issue that he didn't fully come in on the It's time to show your face! bit at the proper time, and he ended up just saying "It's time to show your face." right into the mic very unaffected and straight-up in his regular speaking voice at the very, very end when the song was basically over. lol. he is cute. everyone is cute.

(I WILL ALSO SAY I got the giggles SO BAD at david and amanda's gudetama they slipped onto the stage, oh my god--I was going to take a joke video just dramatically zooming in on it, as one does, except right when I went to do that it got caught up in jon's mic cable and just TUMBLED AND JOSTLED ALL OVER THE PLACE and that fucking GOT me and I was DYING and it was right at like. the serious, heartstring-tugging, fuck-yeah parts of No Reptiles where I'm supposed to be at CHURCH and instead I'm losing my shit into hysterics over this poor gudetama just rolling everywhere alksdhjglaksd, I had to bury my face in Becky's shoulder for a measure or more and try to recover, oh my godddd. EGGS!) -- (OH ALSO I LMAO I HAVE SEVERAL AUDIENCE MEMBER ~BITS THAT I AM DOING just like, clapping here or there, participating actively in certain parts of things, and one that I kept doing for some asshole clown reason was singing along with/lampshading Alex's quick backing vox on the second verse of Spring Sun Winter Dread-- Philly was probably the place where I was the most prominent/obvious/easy to see doing it, and it made both him and Jeremy REALLY snicker, ahahaha I'm sorryyyyyyy for being obnoxioussssss)

The merch/loitering sitch was sli-iiightly more locked down, in here; there was only so long Marty and I could pretend to be thinking about merch/hanging out with people who were actually in line but not actually being in line before they really truly wanted us to leave, and they were pretty pissed that I even left the venue with an empty/ice-only water cup, never mind any dreams of re-entry. The militant energy of the security at this venue compared to how relatively chill and normal DC had been (for two venues I would say of comparable size/seriousness) was def my least favorite part of the Philly experience. I was outside, finishing my water and chitchatting with some artsy youths who were also unimpressed with security, and Becky's messaging me like "they're in here!" and I'm like "well I'm not and I can't come back so you gotta tell them to come out here!" lmao. But they did!!! All the guys came out before too long and I very delightfully got to talk to everyone. I gave Mike and Jeremy the bracelets I'd made for them - THEY both apologized to ME outright for not coming out to chat the night before?? like hello you’re the band we’re the fans you don’t owe us anything - they kind of came toward my side of the door first, and talked and chatted some, vs Jon sort of peeling the other way to the other half of the loiterers - I honestly have lost track of the sequence of events here and what happened when, but it was largely unimportant hehe. (Gosh, but then I keep randomly remembering other unrelated details. Like, for example, Black Cat gave me their big ol' signature black cat hand stamp, and I'd been thinking, oh this will be fun to watch my four hand stamps stack from these four gigs, the way I got two together from The Altogether/Matt Duncan double feature back in July, and then Underground Arts put theirs on the INSIDE OF MY WRIST and not the back of my hand, and both Irving and T-Bird just did wristbands. BUMMER.) But mostly just Seeing Band, Talking To Band. This was when I overheard Alex definitely confirm to someone that the new song is called Cold Reactor, and he sort of half-seriously half-not said they just didn't call it that on the setlist in case there was another "New Song" they might want to decide to start playing there instead at the last minute, even though the longer this goes on the more confident we are that they're not going to do that and that Cold Reactor is gonna be a new single that probably drops once this tour is over <___< eyes emoji. Also, between Wednesday and Thursday we also knew that the bleach-blond hair is for Lore Reasons, which we assume are to do with Cold Reactor and the album it will be on, because of course it is. stupid. jonathan higgs I want to crawl inside your deranged pisces mind and meld with it vulcan style.

anyway, as far as my short term memory can be relied upon/will tell me is the truth, I think Jon was actually the last person I ended up in contact with on this night; I was drifting over toward him but someone else was still engaged in an active conversation with him, so I was like, well obviously I will wait my turn and let other people have jonathan time even though I'm the biggest jonathan girlie, I can just hang and go in when he frees up, and so I was turned slightly away from him listening in on other convos and talking to Becky and maybe Annika or a couple other people, and then suddenly there's a delicate hand on the back of my shoulder and Jon's right in my fucking ear ominously going "hello." askdjhgka. He was soooo cute and nice, I gave him the bracelet I made him as well (which was "I wanna be there" from Violent Sun and shades of re-animator orange) and he was immediately like Oh, of course you, are the bracelet distributor, and I was like hehehe yes, and he asked if I also had to do with the gudetama and I was like absolutely not I have no idea what is going on there lmfao. and I think amanda and david did take credit for it at that time of course so yes hehe. Ended up in a fun casual chitchat with Jon and Becky for most of the rest of the time here, with her trying to squeeze him for info about the new song and album and lore hehehe and him being his typical cryptic trolly cagey Jon, and it was all in incredibly good fun; he noticed her bracelet too, and she pointed it out like Yes I got the one that says This Is The Prophecy from big climb because it hearkens back to that bit they were doing on twitter from way before that song even came out so I gave her that one on purpose duh lol, and Jon says "Oooh yep I forgot about that. .. Album..." and mimed swiping his hair back like whoopsie lmao and it was such a silly little half-self-neg on Re-Animator lol, and so I said "WELP too bad! because the one I made from you is one of those too haha!" and he took another look at it as if to remind himself about it and then went "Well yeah that one's good" with a wryer wickeder laugh and I was like lmao tell us how you really feel. But like he's right violent sun is perfect and I actually labored so long over what I was going to have jon's say because he was the only person I didn't have a really solid concrete idea of what to make for and ALSO he was the only one I REALLY wanted to get PERFECT because it's important to me and yeah. so it was. reassuring for him to like the violent sun one. idk anyway.

The woman we'd seen running around doing a lot for them, including merch, who recognized us from DC the night before and was fun and glib about it, and who turns out to be: Tour Manager Sam, finally had enough of our fucking about and started very efficiently organizing us all into "everyone who wants a pic with themself + all four guys come get in Now and I'm gonna play photographer and then we all gotta go the fuck home" and I respected it SO much lmao, so we had sort of a rotating queue of group picture taking and then the guys all went back inside the venue (I kind of fingerguns'd Jon like "New York :D?" and he looked at me just SO Put Out and just deadpanned "Of course you're going to be there." of course!! lmfao) and we started talking amongst ourselves just out of reluctance to let the night end/social energy we still wanted to wallow in and that was cute and nice. I said goodbye to some folks who weren't going any further on the tour. I had such a wonderful night. Then, lo and behold, we turn around and Jeremy's up on the stoop of the venue, and he's like, I think I've locked myself out. I am locked out and I also don't have my phone on me. lmfao jez. he goes "I am going to blame jonathan" and we allowed him that. I was like, do you want me to TWEET AT SOMEONE LOL and he was like good god no they'll come back for me eventually, and then yes they did, and THEN we all left hahahaha. becky insisted on sticking with me part of the way to the trolley but I was like, it is coming in 14 minutes and it says it's gonna take me 12 minutes to get there I gotta GO!, and I freaking missed it anyway!!! and then I had to wait like OVER HALF AN HOUR MORE for the next one and i didn't even get ON the trolley till like 12:50 and it was soooo late before I was back at mads's place aiyaa. But, all in all, TRULY SUCH A GOOD NIGHT I JUST LOVE BEING IN AN ACTIVE BUZZY FANDOM SPACE AND MEETING FANS AND PARASOCIALING AND DANCING AND SINGING AND DOING ARTS N CRAFTS. you KNOW?? you know. you're on tumblr you get it.

The Philly to Jersey (pre-NYC) leg of my road tripping was set to be Thee shortest drive I had to make the whole time, so I let myself have time in the morning to keep snoozing and fucking about, even though I once again woke up way earlier than I'd hoped to and didn't ever make it back to sleep after that. But the tradeoff was still super nice and relaxing vibing with Madeline--I offered to buy her breakfast in exchange for the couch-crashin' and we got hella bagel sandwiches and cold brew from a place real close by her apartment, and scarfed 'em down while watching the most recent ep of Make Some Noise and just shooting the shit (again, largely about either fandom or kitty cats. We are simple folk). My sandwich contained salmon, a fried egg, and the most incredible sloppy caramelized onions, what a banger. The last truly good food I truly enjoyed before my mega super Travel Tummy set in and wrecked my whole shop metabolically speaking, rip. I took a little rinsy-rinse shower at her place too, and then finally made myself get up and Go to do the runaround silly business of driving to and parking in NJ, taking the ferry in to Manhattan, and then taking the subway to Allegra's place for NIGHT THREE IN NEW YORK CITY WOOOOO. I LOVE going to E E with Allegra!!!!! Once again I used her place primarily as a spot to change out of my car clothes and into my gig clothes (it's RDF night; I wore an oversized pale beige button-up shirt, actually left over from my Foals Antidotes costume from last halloween hahaha, gussied up with E E pins and jewelry) and to fuck about with bracelets. I made Allegra a special In Birdsong bracelet, the only one I did from that song :) because allegra is my special E E friend!! and she needs one of her special song!!! Fandom... is good. Allegra also had a kickass outfit. We stopped in at a tex-mex place she really wanted to try that was nearby the venue, and i got pretty nervous that it was gonna be a little late before doors for us to be hitting a sit-down dinner spot, but we rushed it along pretty well on the food and got our slice of dessert cake to go in a box and everything was A-OK. And I had time to hit a bodega for merch cash from the ATM and a pineapple soda for fortitude! let's GOOO irving plaza.

God, Irving was kind of a shitshow when it came to queuing and security though. There were a fair few people in line ahead of us, maybe just as many or slightly more than what I'd had in DC (definitely further back than Philly, although in line near us were the same also-eating-Dominican-food couple from the Philly gig, and I recognized them and was glad to see them again-- I FULLY DO NOT REMEMBER/DID NOT CATCH Y'ALL'S NAMES, AND I FEEL TERRIBLE BECAUSE WE HUNG OUT AND WORKED TOGETHER SO MUCH, i am so sorryyyyy), but then because it's not a sweet local friendly indie venue but is in fact Livenation As Hell, there's some person affiliated with the venue wandering up front offering some sort of VIP/fast pass line experience where you can just cough up some extra cash and get in your own special line and get to go in first regardless of how long other people have been queuing--you know the deal. Wack as hell. I think David and Amanda opted for this in some capacity, so I was happy for them about it, but a lot of the other people who ended up doing it had kind of rancid vibes of just like "concert-going" and not the very lovely communal sardine megafan energy everyone else had had thusfar. Also it put us where we were at in the queue standing in a place that just had a really terrible smell of sewage, which persisted almost the entire time we were there only to suddenly be replaced by a very powerful smell of bleach, as if whatever it was was suddenly being cleaned/sanitized. ICKY!! Annika was enough further ahead of us in line that I thought it might have only been over where we were but she said no she was definitely getting it too. new york city babey

Bracelet distribution got a little silly here, too, since the queue was wrapping SO far back and was being policed a little more stringently, but I had kind of figured I may need some kind of additional plan, especially since I'd decided not to wear my fanny pack (bum bag--fanny pack, says Jonathan Higgs in a derisive American accent, even as he's telling me he likes mine a lot, skdjshgalkj smh) since my shorts under my shirt had really capacious pockets and that just made for one less thing to worry about--I snagged a sheet of paper at Allegra's place, along with a gallon-size ziploc bag, and I put all the bracelets in there with a note that said to just take one if you wanted one and pass it back through the queue while we waited. It was kind of a crapshoot how effective I thought this was going to be, especially since I had to kind of wait to deploy it once there was a substantial queue BUT by the time there was a big queue it meant that I couldn't see exactly HOW big from where I was near-ish enough to the front, so I didn't know how far the bag was going to make it, if someone was going to end up stuck with my whole big bag at the back of the line (esp since I had a fair number of extra Philly bracelets left over that I lumped in with the NYC ones just because I still Had them).... whew...! BUT by the time Marty was there, he was further enough back from me that I asked him to kind of check up on it when it made it to him and keep passing it; and, by the time we were going inside, I could see zero sign of the bag itself but I DID catch a lot of people milling around me wearing bracelets, and one or two of them did stop me to thank me (since I'd indicated on my note in the bag that I was the person with green hair hahaha), and then I never saw 'em again, so I guess it was a relative success!! Yayyyyy!! WAY less conducive to making New Line Friends than the DC/Philly setup had been, but incredibly effective at making sure that all my bracelets found new homes rather than me having to take a huge handful home with me again and them just sitting in my house forever LOL. success! :)

tl;dr about the bracelets. not important compared to concert and band. WE GO INSIDE!! They have such dumb security/bag check. a gender-split process where the men get patted down by a dude guard and the women get patted down by a lady guard? In TYOOL 2023? you hate to see it. She felt the Sharpie in my back pocket and made me take it out and surrender it???? MY METALLIC BRONZE SHARPIE ? ? no sharpies in the venue I guess. Talked to at least one other person who got sharpie-confiscated too, but also at least two people who fully didn't and still had markers just fine. Absolute shenanigans. Allegra and I didn't quite get barrier due in part to fastpass line nonsense but we did end up right exactly behind Annika &co. with perfect sightlines, once again stage-left/Jeremy-ward-of-center. we don't hate it! my Philly pals to my left with David, Becky et al in front of them. Me fully surrounded by redheads. LOL.

this was the laaaatest show of my whole run, a whole lot of standing around just waiting for Band, and also definitely the energy of "trying to politely vibe to pierre kwenders's set because he can clearly see me and look straight at me even though I would much rather just skip to the bit I actually came for and don't necessarily need to see his set" just slowly increasing every night RIP lol. BUT WE MADE IT! ohhhh new york. EXACT same set as Philly but I couldn't even be mad about it because I was still so grateful to get a Man Alive song that wasn't just MY KZ (not that I don't love my kz obviously, but it HAS been in the set literally all eight times that I have seen E E live as of this Irving Plaza gig, and something else from that album is fun fresh delicious) (OH, SWEET THREEP OF FRIDAY EVENING, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW) and to be getting COLD REACTOR again, especially becaussseee by this point I knew just enough of the lyrics that I felt confident singing/mouthing along conspicuously with the parts that I Did know, aka I See You Sir I'm Doing The Thing Just Watch Me, god I wish I knew how to be not so fucking extra but then again no I don't. we did get saddled with some Rather Annoying audience members in our near vicinity--a couple I'd spotted in the fastpass line earlier wedged themselves hard between me and my tall redhead/mask-wearing homie from Philly, all like "ummm we're short :)" because they. were, but that didn't give them a right to be pushy and rude, and their vibes were kind of shit because the sense I got was they were mostly there because the girl really loved the band and the dude didn't know much about them at all, and also they were already drunk so early on in the set, and they were talking loudly with some other fans they'd just met and getting Lore™ explained to them and it was just a lot of. loud talking and shoving. in my vicinity. when I would have preferred for there to. not be. BUT Also materializing behind me was someone who said "I saw your bracelets on twitter do you still have any!!" and I had to be like UHHHH FUCK, NO, I turned them loose into the queue, did they not make it as far as you..?? and she sadly said no, and I was like, well the only one I have left is this one I just left on for tradesies/advertising purposes, and it says "akon in the butterfly house" so that's kind of a deep cut, if you're familiar-- and she went WAIT REALLY and seemed SUPER jazzed to get a Dave Sardine-ass bracelet and I was like OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT, GOOD, ACTUALLY, because I'd made four of these and I knew they were going to be the deepest cut/hardest sell and I was really really hoping that whoever ended up with them would actually get and appreciate them. so thank you, andrea, for being that person, and for appearing exactly when the bracelet needed it most. so glad to have hung with you this night. sorry that you too found yourself among the ranks of the sharpie-confiscatees.

ANYWAY, OTHER THAN THAT, THIS AUDIENCE WAS FIRE AND THIS GIG SLAPPED. We were finally in a space and an environment that REALLY lent itself to the crowd actually full on bouncing/dancing instead of just kind of wobbling and vibing and everyone in my immediate zone was really going hard. I LOVE this fucking BAND. I love every song by this band. I love when Jon just points the mic at the crowd and the entire crowd sings the whole song word for word and note for note. I love that Jon was still desperately trying to cram the name of the host city into the start of My Kz, despite the fact that "Washington" subs for "Lucifer" perfectly (he has done this both times I've seen them in DC lol) but "Philadelphia" is WAY too stupid long and "New York City," while a syllable shorter, scans metrically in an extremely busted way and you could have just said EN WHY CEE or. y'know. lucifer. but okay man you do you. Jon was just as rowdy as the rest of us lmfao. he was like, climbing up and down off Mike's riser, he was finding people who were taking photos/videos and staring directly into their cameras (me fucking included--I'm sorry, Jon, you can't make eye contact with me while singing the "When I saw you, I fell in love" part of Leviathan, I am pretty sure that is illegal and a crime against my humanity), and basically all the tracks from Get To Heaven (plus like, Cough Cough and NOTLK) blew the fucking roof off the place. I think he donked some My Kz lyrics hehehe he just skipped to the alt lyrics of the chorus too early without completing the standard chorus first at the end, and a little flubbo in NOTLK and a tiny stutter in No Reptiles too, everyone was just TOO ROWDY and he's THROWN LOOPY and man did we not care. I said multiple times to people on this tour that pretty much the closest things I've ever experienced to true Religion are a) being in an E E audience for No Reptiles and b) being in a Hedwig audience for Midnight Radio. they're the same spiritually in my heart and also like do people who love Jesus feel this way and is this why. insane. the cult leader imagery was Not Wrong!!!!!

I wanna MERCH! I got in the line not too long after the show wrapped, but true to reports I'd heard about the pre-show merch line, it was moving verrryy slowly, with just one guy manning it who was not exactly quick and a card reader that seemed pretty chuggy too (but hey, at least NY was taking card). I'd known I wanted the poster--it's got my favorite neon orange on it, it really really slaps, and I wanted something to get signed--but I let myself talk myself into a t-shirt too, mostly because I was REALLY excited to buy E E merch apparel that wasn't black or white. Yellow!! a really freaking good yellow!! I wish the yellow ones had actually had the tour dates on them like the black and white ones did but the yellow branding has been pretty exclusive to this leg of tour (i.e. vs the red branding of the west coast one last year) and it looks soooo good with my hair that I don't especially mind. I also knew that Adrian wanted a copy of Caps Lock On, but that he also wanted a shirt, but I hadn't heard back from him about which shirt or what size so I just got the book and my stuff and then bounced. Communique from outside was that Alex had surfaced but no one else, but that Alex had promised appearances by the rest of them, but that also Alex was already gone and unlikely to return by the time I made it outside. I posted up with all my friends from inside, god this was SUCH a good sardine squad this night, and it took some waiting but eventually the promises came true! All the other boys surfaced and we had some REALLY great fan chats and mingling this tiimmmmee. oh my gosh. A guy came with a Modern Bison CD that Jon and Jeremy were really truly overjoyed to see and to sign and take pictures with; I talked to Jeremy about the bracelets some more because he'd been wearing the one I gave him the WHOLE GIG IN NEW YORK SO LIKE THAT'S GONNA BE IN ANY PHOTOS THAT WERE TAKEN PROFESSIONALLY SPEAKING, oh my gosshhh, he was so nice about it and enjoyed that his Arch Jeremy matched my Arch Emily, the vibes were impeccable; and then I got everyone to sign my poster, but of course Alex was gone already, so Jon offers to forge Alex's signature and goes "look it's like this" and draws some loopy scribble on there and I'm like, lmao, sure.

thing was... I had absolutely heard Jeremy signing something for someone else the night before talking about how he was getting really good at forging Alex's signature for him, since I guess it's normal for him to be the one that disappears the sneakiest (god he really is just the Justin Craig of this band, it's 1:1, huh), and so when I told Jeremy this, he was like "I'll do it" and I was like "no Jon did already do it" and he was going to just leave it then, like, oh, well, okay, but then he saw the mess Jon had made and he was like "--that's quite dreadful actually-- the trick is to not overthink it--" and so now my poster has two forged Alex Robertshaw signatures and zero authentic ones. l m f a o. (To be fair, I do have other things they've all four signed, and Jeremy's fake Alex is at least passable, and Jon's fake Alex is Absolute Dogshit Nothing. I am obsessed.) I even got Peter to sign! He was talking with another fan about a gift she'd given them in the past that had sadly been part of what they lost in their studio fire, it was really heartbreaking to hear. He also thanked me again for his bracelet and told me he planned to give it to his daughter and that she would love it. We took a pic together! Pete the GOAT.

While I was making the rounds with the other boys and other fans, Allegra mostly in tow, swapping sharpies among those of us who still had them, Becky was back with Jon, taking a couple videos for people who weren't there in NY to talk about stuff that they were curious about--I think in the context of Maria, Becky said something like, she thinks the hair is crazy, and Jon said into the camera something like, "If you think it's crazy Now, give it like two or three more weeks, and you're really gonna think it's crazy." SIR WHAT. If the blond is a precursor to something else happening I'm gonna be so the opposite of normal about it, and if the bleach is a stepping stone toward the boys dyeing their hair Other colors I am going to be PROFOUNDLY NOT NORMAL ABOUT IT, AND IF ANY MEMBER OF THE MANCUNIAN ROCK BAND EVERYTHING EVERYTHING HAS THEIR HAIR DYED GREEN ANY TIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE I AM GOING TO BE ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY INSUFFERABLE. tyler the creator unfollow me right now etc. etc. etc. The more I've thought about it I don't THINK this is what's up--my sense is that any Cold Reactor music video is probably already filmed and ready to drop alongside the single pretty quick after the tour ends, rather than being something they're going to film/put together entirely post-tour, so they probably needed the bleachblond for some energy similar to how I felt about them when they first walked on stage in DC, but Oh man...... OH MAN............ I digress. anyway.

following up from that, Allegra (I think? Or maybe still Becky and allegra was just Present) addressed the notion of the hair being related to the Lore, and like, did that mean lore for the single/the upcoming album ? ? which was what we were assuming, and Jon said some demented and ominous and extremely exciting phrase like, "The lore for this one is.... b o t t o m l e s s" in his always-startling real deep Jon voice, and that was the fucking sound bite of the evening, folks. FOLKS. ALLEGRA AND I WENT ALL THE WAY BACK TO HER APARTMENT JUST CONTINUALLY SAYING "THE LORE IS BOTTOMLESS!" my body is so god damn ready.

We bid farewells to all our friends for whom NYC was their final stop on this tour!! SAD!!!!!! Going to miss all the homies T___T it's not fair that we're not just all going to every single stop on this tour I don't think? it should actually be illegal for us not to be present when the band is performing?? the hugest RIP. Hugs exchanged all around. Me trying to say bye to Jon but he's engaged with someone else so I think I just awkwardly said "See you tomorrow" twice and then we left. becky maaaybe trying to last minute scramble to also come to pgh now despite not really having accounted for it in her plans originally ? ? I was not certain what she intended here but I supported her. yes. me, annika and AG for sure being there at least. we ride. Back to allegra's where I did, unfortunately, sleep ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLY/BASICALLY NOT AT ALL due to being so hot and stuffy in my little nest on the floor that it was making me nauseated, I think I got maybe 2.5 hours tops, but I didn't really have a choice because if I wanted to be back home in time to do ANYTHING other than just rock straight over to the queue for Thunderbird then I knew I was going to have to leave so GOD DAMN early in the morning to haul ass back to where my car was and then drive the seven hours to pgh. But I did exactly that!!!! bitch!!!!! Other than some issues like, managing to make a timely pit stop for gas/potty/coffee, I endured the miserable long roadtrip despite myself, raging my way through the poconos, downing the largest cold brew Wawa would sell me, having a truly tragic car vs quesadilla incident, etc. My BFF Francis even got on the phone with me for the last hour or so and we chatted and I got to give them the whole update on the tour thus far, so fun! They MIGHT try to go to the Chicago stop next week!!! if they feel like they can swing it, and I was like ok no pressure but also it's been an extraordinary experience for me thusfar and I highly recommend. So if you see Francis at E E Chicago please holler at them kindly from me!!! :) But at the very least they said they did want a T-shirt and venmo'd me money to buy them one, since I was already still gonna have to get one for Adrian. woooooo

I got home with, yeah, basically exactly enough time to shower, get my outfit together, and regroup before heading to the venue !!! I JUST BARELY missed the bus that would've gotten me there the most promptly, largely due to not being able to find another fucking Sharpie since irving plaza took my first one lmfao, and it ended up being quicker to walk there than to wait the 36 minutes it would've been for another bus or whatever. I still had MEGA travel tummy so I just snagged an apple and scarfed it down on the walk over. Annika was already there queuing! so we hung out in line together and waited and drank the waters we had definitely brought in from outside the bar and just vibed lol. and she was like, I heard them checking two new songs that haven't been in the setlist yet, and I was like ha ha lol like what, and she said, kevin's car and leave the engine room.

and listen, I was optimistic. that my social media obnoxiousness and well-known, easily observable public desires might yet sway them, because come on it's my hometown and it's the last show i'm gonna see on this tour and I sent them donuts, and those were MEANT as a KINDNESS and an ENTHUSIASM FOR DONUTS and not as a bribe, but if anyone wanted to interpret them as a bribe anyway whomst was I to say no, but like. just because I want the band i like to do a thing absolutely does not mean that they have to fucking do it. I want to be crystal clear that i have never at any point EXPECTED them to do this. i just. hoped. yearned in my heart of hearts. and also had very sound rationale for how possible/likely it was. Here's How Engie Room Can Still Win. yfm. but the soundcheck all but confirmed it in my soul for me. and I was like... glad, that she'd been there and caught it and could tell me about it, because it gave me time to like, come to terms with the reality of it, emotionally. AAH. AAAAAHHH, OKAY. BITCH, PLIABLE HEAD, IT'S ALL HAPPENING.

we lingered and watched the queue form behind us-- I spotted a kid I'd seen at the Philly show, god bless. Everywhere we turn, repeat customers. I was telling my work friend today, I feel like the US fanbase for E E is significantly smaller than the UK audience, but we make up for it in that we go fucking hard. Every US fan is a superfan. there are no half-assed american sardines. and that has been so BEAUTIFUL and means the WORLD to me to be sharing it with the other ones of you. Bracelet sharing rocked at this gig!! I had exactly as many as I'd set aside for Pittsburgh and no more, since all my spares had evaporated up at Irving, A new person ALSO HAD BRACELETS!!! LIKE, for realsies Made For Trading At This Show Specifically bracelets, it was suuuuch a delight, so in addition to my eclectic collection from the previous gigs I now also have one that says RAW DATA FEEL with some truly choice glow in the dark bric-a-brac on there as well, and my heart was so warm aaaaaah. fwiendship :) Also spotted in the pre-doors queue were the Pizza Boy costumed guy and a woman I met at Foals in 2019?? who I guess automatically recognizes me because of the green hair, but just. omg. the community!!!! I'm dying!!!!!!

There was a slight will-call kerfuffle that nevertheless did not stop me from being dead center dead at the front right in front of where jonathan's mic was destined to be, and I was like. god. here we go. the home stretch. This was ABSOLUTELY the WORST place to be to be pretending to be interested in pierre's set, because he kept looking straight at me and dog I gotta admit four shows in I was feeling pretty tired. like, the energy of E E Itself was going to fully reinvigorate me, but nearly everything else on the planet was like totally disinteresting and I wasn't really up for it, especially when it's my semi-sex-repulsed ace-spectrum ass being just really put off by the suggestive gyrations of a performer that is not to my tastes. UM SORRY BYE HAHA. they didn't even play the one song I kind of liked. I managed to miss like two and a half songs of his set being still locked in the merch line at least lmao. literally WHILE I WAS STANDING IN THE MERCH LINE they sold out of the yellow shirt and I couldn't get me and francis matchies so I had to get them the black instead :( but thankfully they still had the one Adrian wanted because idk what I would have done if I had to scramble for a plan B with him on short notice haha. and I had EXACTLY enough cash for the two shirts left from the day before and I was paying Tour Manager Sam with it like oh my gosh I'm so sorry this is like my sweaty pocket cash from last night this is kinda gross and she was just like, No actually that's honestly exactly how I've been rolling as well and it is kind of gross so like agreed hahaha. She's the best. Idk how long she'll be tenured to them but I'd love to see her continue to exist in like their coterie moving forward. impeccable vibes.

also used merch waiting as a way to distribute more bracelets and get a drink of water! WOOHOO NOW I AM READY TO RECEIVE MY COMMUNION THANK YOU. they put the setlists down and there was a very small fraction of me that wanted to avert my eyes but like I. I had to know. and annika said yes there are new songs in the list. and I peered into the list and my song was there.

hey guys. hey guys? look, this was for me. I have to be honest with you. i manifested this. by being annoying on twitter. by being god's specialest costume-making donut-gifting bracelet-slinging weirdo. I'm owning it and it's mine. I was exactly EXACTLY right with "well, if they put Engine Room in they'll probably take Leviathan out, because they'd kind of fill the same role of slow moody song in the set, and then they'll probably swap in a different non-Man Alive song to compensate for Engine Room being there instead," and this is exactly what happened, and so then not only did I get Engine Room but I also got REGRET, WHICH IS ALSO AN EMILY THREEPWILLOW PLIABLE HEAD SONG, BECAUSE HERE THESE NERDLORD KINGSHIT BANDBOYS ARE IN MY GODDAMN BACK YARD, they're in my house and god it took me the whole fucking set up to then to just prepare, like I had to try not to think about it so I could enjoy what was right in front of me. God it was so fucking, fucking good. our position along the stage had Alex's stuff REALLY forward in the mix which was kind of new for me, but jon was just right there and every time I lifted my hands to dance and to yearn it was like, the only thing stopping me from touching you is my own sense of propriety and not any kind of physical barrier or distance, and the person immediately behind me was seeing the band for the first time and felt similarly about NOTLK as I did to Engine Room and those two songs were literally back to back in the set so we kind of screamed and cried and died together, I gave her a huge hug, and LOL SORRY NOT SORRY THAT I GOT MY KZ AND LEVIATHAN TAKEN OUT OF THE SETLIST FOR Y'ALL, PITTSBURGH, I DO FEEL KIND OF BAD BUT THIS WAS UMMM IMPORTANT TO ME, THANK YOU, goodbye. goodbye I left the planet. I thought I was going to cry and I nearly did but I didn't, but I did actually maybe start hyperventilating. like I'm glad I knew it was coming ahead of time because if it had been a full surprise I think whatever was happening to my lungs would have been exponentially worse and I may have even fainted.

(which, btw: jonathan. jon. when he came out on stage, he almost immediately got his mic cable caught on the edge of where his setlist was taped down, and in jerking it around, he whipped the setlist up off the floor and way upstage toward where Pete was; when he finally put it to rights and taped it back down, he just left it where it was at, far enough away from me that I definitely could not read it anymore; and like DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE? TO MOVE IT OUT OF MY LINE OF SIGHT, TO MAYBE KEEP ME FROM READING IT? SURELY YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT I'D ALREADY SEEN IT LIKE 15 MINUTES AGO. NICE TRY BUT IT'S TOO LATE I SAW EVERYTHING. i love him. i'm in physical pain.)

knowing this was my final one, I went so, so, incredibly hard, I let myself dance and mosh and scream and take way more pics and videos than I had before, I leaned on the lip of the stage, I had an absolute fucking blast. When the set was over a few other people who were more strategically positioned (i.e. people who had not had their most easily accessible setlists unceremoniously yoinked several feet away) snatched up the closest ones way quick; there was a general tension in the crowd at being able to see jon's, but it being further away out of reach, and one ballsy-ass kid (the "Kevin" person who'd accompanied the pizza boy person) actually clambored up onto the stage and ninja'd over and took it for himself, which inspired two copycats to do the same for some discarded guitar picks (and all of which definitely provoked a very loud, unimpressed, authoritative barking of "HEY!!!" from some security somewhere, like, they definitely shouldn't have done that!! yikes!!!!). I, instead, very patiently waited for an opportune moment to get the attention of their short king guitar tech as he was running around doing teardown, and someone else flagged him first and got pete's setlist, and in my final moments I got him to get me mike's. Gang, I'm gonna be real with you, I was not leaving my Pittsburgh hometown show in which they played Leave The fucking Engine Room without a setlist. there would've been blood or at the very least tears. so like. thank god lmao. Satisfied, we got some water and then headed out!!!

It was a long, chilly wait for the boys outside--god, the chilliness was REFRESHING, though, it's October for crying out loud, and DC and Philly and NY had all been muggy sweaty hot with no need for even long pants, much less a jacket, but I was glad I'd had the forethought to wear my flannel around my waist to cover up the YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT printed around the ass of my shorts on my walk over to deter questions, lmfao. We easily identified the spot on the side of the venue where we assumed the guys were coming out, it was all just a matter of time. (AG and I getting some confusing-to-parse messages from Becky? Idk my phone was SUPER dying so I was trying to leave it on airplane as much as possible, I didn't even make it to the end of the night, RIP needing to use my map all day in the car and even with it plugged in spending more than I was juicing of the battery. Listen i needed PICS and VIDEOS!!) I saw Jon first, and he almost looked past me before spotting me there because I was pretty close to the corner of the block, and I just stared at him, and said, May I hug you. and he said, of course! and I hugged him so long and so hard just like, thank you, I was extremely emotional then and I'm also getting extremely emotional now just typing about it, and he was like omg haha what for? Coming to your town? and I was like coming to my town and playing my SONG!!! And then he said something with the tone of a snarky teasy joke but that was like flusteringly truthful underneath about them legitimately rearranging the set quite a lot for me, and I have not stopped screaming internally since then, and Jeremy joked that I'd just seen the exact same set three times and they felt they ought to give me at least something new ha ha ha but like it wasn't entirely a joke, and I just don't even know how to process this. i am perishèd in the soil. anyhow.

I wanted both my setlist and my Supernormal EP vinyl signed by all the boys, and I managed this with relatively little doing ("A deep cut!" jeremy remarks of the supernormal, haha), but I didn't want to be crowding them and getting in the way of other people getting lad time, so I kind of took a backseat and just talked when the time was right, but Jon did kind of keep wanting to talk to me. We talked about the new song, and we talked about the donuts I sent over--oh my GOD, because I was like, they're from that place over there, you can see the big neon donut sign from here! haha, and he was like dyou know what, I knew that's where they were from, because I went over there earlier in the day and got one for myself, I got a huckleberry one and I came back with it and everyone was like, what's that, they were very jealous, and then not too long after that this box of loads of them just shows up-- And like I am a donut fairy psychic wizard. Also everyone who is ever in Pittsburgh should go to Oliver's donuts and eat their fabulously good products. I will shill for them literally any day of the week. This is the second band I have given Oliver's to this year. I cannot be stopped. ANYWAY. i honestly almost could have written that prediction on an envelope and sealed it, that they'd end up wandering in there on their own only for me to send them some too. i was so tickled that jon got the huckleberry one because it's their signature flavor and it's SO PINK and allegra and I had just decided the night before that jon higgs is hot pink coded. like, in the universe where they are dyeing their hair multicolors for the lore. anyhow. it's good shit.

i had SO much fun after this show, even though it was so chilly and dark and we were scrungling around on a literal street corner outside a wine and spirits store, I was like holding people's things so they could get pics and signatures, I was showing off my supernormal booty shorts, I was talking to Jon about lore----- ohhh, my god, I had exactly two bracelets left when the night was over, literally the end of my stash, and it was one Final Form FIRST BODY LAST BODY that I said, y'know, I'm going to save this for my bestie francis when I send them the shirt, because that's the lyric I wanna get a tattoo of, and it'll match with my PLIABLE HEAD bracelet, and it'll be another sort of besties matching thing; and my one lone AKON IN THE BUTTERFLY HOUSE bracelet that remained, where I'd kind of said, well, if this one doesn't find the right home tonight, then at the end of the night I'm going to give it to Jon too. So I dug in my bag and passed it off, and he was like "what does this one say.... kon... Akon... Akon in the house--what is--OH AND THERE'S A LITTLE BUTTERFLY ON THERE, God--" and he was GRINNING and he was SO TICKLED BY IT and Jez chimed in with just like "The attention to detail--" and Jon was like "this is my favorite one actually," he LOVED IT AND I WAS SO CHARMED AND EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT, and then he offered me up something like "you kno-ow, this, the song, of this, there's actually a reference to it in something, something you've never heard-- and--that you never will," doing his cryptic Jon troll grin, "the one thing that didn't make it," with the implied end of that sentence being "onto the album," and 'album' in this case being implied to be Raw Data Feel, which they have very publicly said that for once was an album where they just put everything on and didn't cull any songs or reserve any bonus tracks to release later or whatever. So I said, "Oh, from the one that we've been told had no cuts...?" also not explicitly saying RDF, and his answer to that was vague/nondescript enough but was probably an affirmative, but then he did follow that up with "that's lore that's SO far down the line, WAY WAY out there," and god, just, how deep does this man's brain and nonsense even fucking go. how far into the future is there LORE. BOTTOMLESS!!! I am obsessed with him. i cannot stress enough how blorbo he is to me.

The shorts came back up in conversation too ("Sorry, let me just look quite closely at your ass for a moment--" "It's okay, the shorts are designed that way--") and him saying, yeah, we do talk about some of the costumes still, and then segueing into asking if I had plans for this year and what I was doing, and I said, maybe, I'm not sure if I want to tell you, and he said, Is it to do with us, and I said, Neither confirm nor deny, and he said, Well if it's not, then, I want to know, with kind of a 'duh' tone ahahaha because like true there would be no reason to be coy if it was nothing to do with E E at all, and I explained that like I kind of have to have two costumes ("of course you do."), WELL because y'know the E E ones don't really play to or land with the general populace (a very cheeky "No!") so I have, just, one that's for going to parties, and one that's for fucking around on the internet. He seemed to find that acceptable hahaha.

Anyway what I REALLY wanted with wearing the Supernormal shorts was a group pic of all five of us normal frontways, and then a group pic of all five of us facing backward/ass to the camera a la the picture of them outside the White House, where you could see the goof of my shorts but also all of their butts, but this was an ABSOLUTE DISASTER TO DO when it was so dark that phone cameras were taking everything long-exposure, and also they'd all had just enough beer to not really be following on what the bit was. Absolute shit results on the backwards pic because I couldn't, y'know, see to coordinate it, because I had my back turned. (Me yelling, "Not just MY butt, EVERYONE'S butts, come on!!" into the streets of Lawrenceville.) Utter failure. Didn't care. I love these fucking guys. The vibe was finally kind of winding down, closing-time energy, the guys still had to get on the bus to Boston right away even with tomorrow being their day off, it was a Boston day off and not a Pittsburgh day off where I could offer them free ice cream sadly, so they all sort of bowed sweetly out. Jon gave me his like, I Am Part Of The Band clearance ID badge from the venue, kind of out of nowhere, he was like "sorry this is all I have to give you, it's the least I could do," and I was like WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'VE ALREADY GIVEN ME SO M-- YOU COULD DO WAY LESS ??? but I guess now I have that, too. I tried to give him the King Of Oil sign from my fatberg costume, which I'd initially brought because I thought it would be a fun photo taking prop but the photo situation was the aforementioned disaster so that never really came to any fruition at all, so I was just going to gift it to them, and he said "My suitcase is already so full of so much random shit-- that you've given us--" and then right as he was leaving he just said "Thank you for being such a weirdo" with a voice full of all the kindness and affection in the world and I just yelled "ANY TIME!!" and then oh so tragically the night had to be over.

it's been nice, though, because I'm so used to driving the long drive home at the end of an adventure and having that signify the end, of getting to the end of the car ride and having nothing beyond that but the rest of my regular life; and this time, I drove all the way home, but when I got there, the adventure was still happening, right in my neighborhood, right down the street, and all I had to do was walk back home alone in the dark and climb into my own bed at the end of a long and beautiful night. i can already tell that this is going to be one of my most special memories basically forever, and now every time I drive or ride the bus to and from work each day I will be passing by the place where Everything Everything performed Leave The Engine Room for me, and that's so profoundly special that I don't even have words to describe it. I love this band, I love the people in it and I love the people its gravity pulls in to orbit around it, I'm just so goddamn happy. I don't even know what to say or how to end this.