#and write long ass paragraphs trying to prove me wrong and kept coming back when i ignored them.

[sonknuxadow]

anon temporarily turned off because i said some stuff about sonic characters ages like a week ago and now theres some weirdo in my askbox fighting for their life to convince me that the teen sonic characters are canonically adults theyve sent me like 4 asks with really bad arguments and every time i ignore them they just come back a few hours later to send another one and its getting really annoying. my god

[lovelywingsart]

Metallic (18+)

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

Oh lord here we go- Ok, first off, y'all get a small paragraph beforehand, please forgive me. :'D I've... never posted smut THIS PUBLICLY before. This is admittedly incredibly nerve-wracking and I'm hella nervous because I feel like I write... 'conservatively'? You'll see what I mean. So... Please go easy on me for this one...? I'm great for sweet stuff and angst, but smut is a whole other beast despite NSFW being one of my favorite art forms when drawing. I mean, I've already made a few *spicy* art pieces for them, but just... Writing is difficult. I mean, I really hope you guys like it anyway!! But fair warning. THIS is new for me. QuQ I do have a few more smut pieces in the works, but this was the first one written.

So uh... on to the story, I guess...!

**Small reminder that I have a small 'Masterlist' for these!**

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*Warning?: Hella smut, lots of biting, choking and kisses, some blood from said biting, just rough sex in general? Normal, to rough, to fluff. not entirely sure what else to add?? :'D It's all consensual, no worries.

Summary: With some high tensions, a smart mouth, and some unfortunate forgetfulness, Emelia gets herself into a bit of... 'trouble' with the notorious Metal Man. But maybe this time she bit off a bit more than she could chew... Not that she really ends up minding.

A pair of footsteps echoed through the underground tunnels of the factory, almost mimicking the constant sounds of pickaxes being dug into the stone. The walking man looked around every once in a while, seemingly proud of whatever progress had been made.

"All is going well. Good, good." He said proudly, puffing on the cigar he held between his fingers. The woman next to him rolled her eye. The small lights of the tunnels glinted in the glasses he wore as he turned his head to glance at her. "Is there a problem?" He chuckled.

"If by 'well' you mean 'excruciatingly slow by dimwitted slaves', then yes."

"Would you like to join them then, Emmy?"

"Bloody hell, no. I'm still sore from lugging those damned carts around..." Emelia mumbled, reaching to rub behind her neck. The man next to her chuckled again, handing over his cigar. He stepped forward slightly as she took it, holding out his free arm.

"And yet you're still walking!" He chimed, looking back at her as she puffed on the cigar, herself. "We'll change that soon enough."

"I'm not working myself to death, Heisenberg." She huffed, picking up speed and shoving the cigar back into his face. "While factory productions are important to me too, perhaps learn the definition of a 'break', and not as in 'break my back'."

Karl took the cigar with amusement as she walked forward ahead, clearly heading back to the main building.

"First you tell me to work harder, then you say not at all." He mused, following closely. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I can do what I want?"

"And yet, what you want is what affects YOUR factory in the long run... Timing, Karl."

"You act as if you know more about MY factory than I do."

"And what do you know?"

"Everything."

"Good, then you know I'm heading upstairs to rest for a moment."

"I assumed so."

~

The two wandered along the corridors to a hall with stairs leading to a metal door, sharing the cigar before she went forward and kicked the door open, snorting as she heard an irritated grunt behind her.

"If you break that, you're fixing it." He muttered, setting his hammer down to the side as he took the cigar from her. She snorted, tossing her own weapon to the side, watching it land on a pile of fabrics used for either covering machinery or covering herself when she slept, whichever happened to come first.

"You say that as if it would be difficult." She retorted, taking her hair out of the tie it was in and running her hand through it before stretching slightly as he walked past her to sit in a chair next to a desk in the room they were in. It was similar to a bedroom, but not quite. 'More like an office with a small bed' , she always said, occasionally taking residence on said 'bed' when she was tired. She felt Heisenbergs eyes on her as her muscles stretched and popped, and she let out a satisfied groan.

"It wouldn't be, but you'll have to make a new one from scratch." He said, arching a brow as he leaned back in the chair. She rolled her eye, moving to stretch her arms in front of her.

"Again, not hard." She shrugged, finally moving towards the desk he was next to. "Making a door takes less brains than you already have."

"Are you calling me an idiot?"

"I'm not calling you a genius."

She almost laughed as she saw him pause before taking a long drag on the cigar.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear you say that." He sighed. She shrugged, leaning over the table and looking over the papers that had been laying on it.

"It's a joke, Heisenberg. I'll admit you're more intelligent than you let on." She said, moving the papers and other objects slightly while looking at them. She then paused as she held them, her eye going over the plans, x-rays, and sketches. "Did you leave out the other Soldat plans?"

"They're in with the cadou notes. I thought you would have seen them." He said simply, reaching for a manila folder on the corner of the table. He put the cigar in his mouth as he opened it and flipped through with a huff. "The new ones haven't been functioning properly, damn things... I'm thinking of rewiring the circuits to the brain.".

"Wouldn't that cause more damage than good?"

"Not if it's done properly." He chewed on the cigar for a moment before flipping over one of the papers. "The worst that could happen is the head exploding from the current. In that case-"

"Lycan food?" She suggested. He nodded in agreement.

"Lycan food. They're mostly useless to me otherwise..."

"As are most things..." she muttered, earning a glance. She looked back at him. "What? Am I wrong?"

"Not necessarily. Others do still have use."

"How?" She asked, turning to face him. "No head means no use."

He shrugged, tossing the folder back onto the table before leaning back in the chair.

"Replace certain muscle tissue and bones with pneumatic or hydraulic systems, whichever proves to be less of a pain in the ass that day, hot wire circuits to the remaining muscle structures, add an engine system into the chest with a strong battery..." he tilted his head slightly, almost as if he were picturing the plans in his head, thinking of more details as he went along. "They would quite literally be mindless, but a few shocks and currents would make them go just fine."

"Sounds a bit like you..." Emelia snorted, turning back to the table to organize the papers as he glared at her. "Shall I pick a few poor sods from the village to test this?"

"Or I could just use you..." he muttered.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Keep making your ass-backwards comments and see what happens." He shot back, finally pushing himself up to stand. "Yes, I'd like you to do that. Fresh bodies work best for the experiments. I'll send out the Lycans as well, given they don't tear them apart."

"That wouldn't matter anyway, Karl. You'll just stitch them back up like you always do."

"I could, couldn't I?" He started, taking a step closer to stand next to her with a sinister smile. "Or I could make YOU do it. You seem to have fun with tearing things apart and putting them back together-"

"I'm NOT sewing your bloody creations together." She interrupted. "I'll kill them and I'll tear them to shreds, or I'll assist with the inner workings of the mechanics. I don't sew."

"You'll learn."

"Like hell I will."

"I'll make you."

"Bullocks."

"Keep talking, Emelia." He dared, his voice lowering in a threatening manor. "I'm not in the mood."

"You were before we got here." She challenged. She only held her breath as he suddenly snuffed out the cigar on the table itself while his eyes seemed to stare directly through her.

"That's what happens when you keep insulting me, Emmy. I start to get angry. You know that."

She felt a chill down her spine at his voice. It was different from any other time she had aggravated him... It was as if she were in actual danger. His face was only inches away from hers, and he smirked once he noticed her hesitation.

"Scared, Emelia?"

She kept her eye on him, watching his movements carefully. No, No she wasn't in danger... Maybe.

"No." She replied, lifting her chin slightly as he arched a brow.

"Oh?"

"What is it you say to me...? I'm 'in a mood'...? Because I believe you're currently in one, yourself." She asked, finally moving forward and brushing past him in a nonchalant manor despite being somewhat stiff in her movements. "Drink some coffee and throw a few things around with that power of yours, you'll be fine."

She felt his eyes on her as she neared a cushioned chair against the wall.

"I'll throw YOU around..." He growled, taking amusement in her body slowing down as he spoke. He walked towards her as she turned to face him. "See how that pretty mouth works after your head goes through a wall."

"You forget I've stopped your hammer with my arm." She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest before smirking. "You smashing my head through a wall would be as effective as Sturm trying to hold something with his nubs."

"You don't seem to understand what I can do to you, Emelia."

"And you don't seem to understand the amount of fucks I don't give, Karl."

His arm twitched slightly, and she glanced over as metal pieces on the floor began to shake just slightly. She just hoped he wouldn't direct his power towards her...

"If you would like to play, I'll GLADLY entertain you."

She suddenly got in his face, a mischievous, antagonistic spark in the gold of her eye.

"Entertain me HOW? Throw me to the Lycans? The Varcolacs? Hell, let Urias get ahold of me, see what happens."

He bared his teeth in a snarl, though the corners of his mouth stayed in a malicious grin.

"I'll turn YOU into a goddamn Soldat, you'll be so full of metal you won't be able to FUNCTION without me-"

"I'm more afraid of your SISTER than I am you!"

Her smirk widened as she saw a sudden spark of anger in his face, his smile faltering.

"Don't you dare attempt to bring that bitch into this, I'll put my hammer straight into your skull-"

"TRY ME, THEN-" She started, only to give a yelping gasp in surprise as Heisenberg slammed her against the wall by her throat.

"Shut your damn hole!!!-" He snarled. His grip was tight, but he seemed to stop once he glanced at her open mouth. All of a sudden the air around them changed, and she stared at him with confusion in her one golden eye. "Oh, Emmy, you didn't tell me!" He said with a sudden cheerful tone, moving his hand from her throat to her jaw. He switched so quickly...

"Wh-" she began, only to stop as her jaw was yanked open. She was confused until she saw the reflection of her tongue piercing in his glasses.

Shit.

"Well well, I guess you've got some metal in you after all. I won't have to try as hard..." He chuckled, tilting his head as she stared at her own reflection. "What else are you hiding from me, Emmy?"

Her eye was wide in simultaneous fear and curiosity. She knew she couldn't have hidden the piercings forever, but certainly longer than this. She usually at least took the one out of her mouth when around him given how often they talked for this reason... But even then, he had never noticed it before. Why now?! She kicked herself for forgetting. She wanted to shove him away... Shove him and run. Would he chase her? He was most definitely trying to scare her, she knew that much... But she also wanted to know how far he would actually go if she did nothing. Would he rip them out if he found the others? Use them as control like he mentioned? Or would he leave her alone? Something told her the latter was out of the question as he showed growing interest in her silence.

"N-.... Nothing..." she managed, nudging her jaw out of his grip. "I just-"

"You're a liar, Emelia." He said, his grin growing wider. She gave a huff and shook her head.

"I am not, you ridiculous-"

She was stopped with a startled gasp as a gloved thumb was shoved between her jaws, nearly propping her mouth open.

"Now now, this'll go far easier if you do it my way. Now open up."

He lifted his other hand to his face, taking a finger of the glove between his teeth and sliding it off. The glove fell to the ground between them, and she watched as he reached for her face with his bare hand. She flinched slightly as his fingers pressed against her lower jaw, though admittedly relaxed as his thumb drifted over her bottom lip. The skin was expectantly rough, she found, calloused and covered in smaller scars. She closed her eye as it drifted over her sharp lower teeth before thrusting over her tongue, pushing it back and causing a small gaging reflex. It tasted... metallic... Metallic with hints of other things. Not quite metal, not quite blood... Maybe residual oil? Maybe a hint of the cigars. She couldn't tell exactly what it was, but the mixture wasn't bad... She really didn't mind much. She could almost feel the interested look on his face as she relaxed, though she attempted to hide it. Oh god, was she enjoying this...? She only flinched as he pressed his thumb against the muscle, pushing it out of her mouth somewhat to see the piercing fully.

"Let's see how much you're hiding from me, shall we?" He grinned.

There was a moment of confused silence before she felt his thumb press against the metal rod, her eye snapping open with a gasping yelp as what felt like electric sparks and currents traveled through that piercing, as well as the others.

All the others.

The sparks lasted only a second, but a second was all that was needed as her back arched slightly away from the wall. Heisenberg took a step back in surprise as Emelia suddenly collapsed to her knees, shaking and panting ever so slightly out of shock and... something else. She doubled over with a wide eye, an arm covering her chest and the other pressed against her abdomen and ever tightening thighs. What the hell WAS that...?! What the fuck did he do?!

"W-.... Wh-...." she tried, trying to voice her thoughts. But alas, despite the tingling feeling up her spine disappearing, she couldn't. She couldn't even move as she heard movement directly in front of her, the shock of the feeling only allowing her to look up as he grabbed her chin and lifted her face to meet his. She watched as he kneeled, only to look up and see the most smug grin she had ever seen.

"Liar liar, Emmy... You know how I hate liars." He chimed, adding to the smug aura he held. It pissed her off, but she couldn't do much about it now... She then grew nervous as he tilted his head, taking in her reaction fully as she stared at him with an ever-deepening red blush on her cheeks. "If I was more foolish, I'd say you enjoyed that."

"I-I... D-did NOT...!!" She snapped, stopping with a small squeak as he shoved his thumb back into her mouth to silence her.

He was met with another squealing whine as he pressed against the piercing once more, gleefully sending more currents through the metal pieces in her body. Emelia reached up to shakily grab his arm as the piercing was left alone once more, though the residual shock still remained. She wanted to say something... Say ANYTHING... but the feeling in her face, chest and thighs was so odd and... and good... It kept her silent, and Heisenberg took interest.

"Lycan got your tongue?" He joked, chuckling as she let out a growl. He found it amusing, of course. She only frowned as he tilted his head with the ever present smirk, his sharp teeth glinting in the dim light of the room. "You know, Emmy..." he started, yanking her forward by the jaw slightly as she kept her hold on his arm. "I can't help but wonder how it tastes."

She felt another shiver down her spine at the sickeningly curious tone in his voice. Taste... Taste?? She stared at him as he removed his thumb from her mouth, though nearly started to form words immediately in stupid curiosity. The answer came to her quickly, however, in the form of a hand around her neck, a mouth to hers, and being shoved against the wall once more. She made an almost strangled noise as her back hit the concrete, her mind attempting to play catch-up as she felt something being shoved into her mouth. More sparks traveled along the piercings as his tongue slid over hers, and she let out a whining growl in response.

The taste of metal and the slightest bit of sweetness filled her mouth, along with the taste of the cigar they had shared only minutes prior. But... Why did it taste so good? Why wasn't she fighting him? She found herself frozen for a few moments as the realization set in that she... truly enjoyed this. He couldn't have known, could he? There was no WAY he could have known... Oh god, what was wrong with her? She generally wanted to strangle the man, but now...

She allowed the frustration from earlier to bubble in her chest, giving her control of her limbs for a few moments. Heisenberg began to back off, thoroughly satisfied in her reactions and his 'taste test' before she suddenly grabbed the front of his jacket and yanked him back against her, giving a quiet grunt as her back was forced against the wall again with his weight. He was brought to his knees at the force of the tug, and it was her turn to feel satisfaction as a startled grunt left this throat.

Emelia returned the forceful kiss with all her strength, her back arching somewhat with the now consistent current from the piercings. Her legs shook slightly as she felt a warm feeling in her thighs from the current, unintentionally letting out quiet whimpers and heavy breaths into the kiss. His hand stayed pressed to her throat before he moved it to the side of her neck and shoved her head upwards with his thumb. He tore himself away to attack her neck immediately, licking along the skin before closing his jaws around it. She gasped as he moved along her neck, leaving bloody bites and bruises while using his free hand to nearly rip at her shirt. The fabric was pulled it from its tucked position, his grip tearing a few holes in the worn fabric as he held it taught away from her skin. She couldn't help it as her heavy breaths turned into pants, and she gripped his arm tighter as she felt the fabric continue to tear from a mixture of his grip and her squirming from the feeling between her legs. She shuddered as he finally pulled away from her now very bruised neck, his lips hovering right against her ear.

"Let me taste all of them, then." He growled, returning his hand to around her neck and squeezing along the bottom of her jaw.

Her squirming paused in his grip. 'Please, oh PLEASE-' she thought, secretly wishing to rip the shirt off, herself. But he couldn't know that... If he did, she knew he'd taunt her mercilessly. Not that he wasn't doing the same now... Instead she shook her head just slightly, trying to even out her breathing.

"W-Wait-" she started quietly, only to gasp once more as he finally tore the front of the shirt clean off from the seams. He tossed the fabric to the side as her back arched to meet the new air her front was exposed to, the newly revealed silver nipple piercings glinting as her body moved.

"Too late." He chuckled deeply, grabbing her by the side and bringing her chest forward as if he were claiming a prize.

He leaned down slightly, his arm wrapping around her as his mouth returned to her skin. He kissed and nipped to her shoulders and collarbone until his lips met the tip of the large scar that rested between her breasts. She swore she could almost see something flicker in his shade-covered eyes as he seemed to study it before nipping at it carefully. The nips were... oddly careful. It was as if he knew what it was... She managed to compose herself enough to speak, one of her hands moving to nudge his shoulder. She couldn't help but give a nervous gulp as he looked up at her, his eyes burning as if her touch had fueled the fire.

"N-... N-Not... um..." she tried, her voice oddly timid. She knew what was happening, though the idea made her nervous... "N-Not... here..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head slightly, loosening his grip on her neck. He then followed her gaze to the small 'bed' in the corner of the room- though it was more like a single mattress over a solid 'frame' with random odd pillows along the wall and multiple covers lumped on top. It was how she liked it.

"Th-There... uh..." she looked away for a moment, heavily aware her burning cheeks. "P-... P-Please..."

She could nearly feel his smile against her skin as he chuckled, though he didn't reply. It was then that she was suddenly picked up with a surprised yelp and tossed over his shoulder, her knees pressing against his sides to balance herself. She managed to hold on long enough before he walked to the 'bed', landing roughly onto it as she was tossed. She nearly scrambled to sit up until she looked up at him, watching him quickly close the space between them, removing his thick jacket and single remaining glove.

"Stay still, Emmy. The show is just getting started." He taunted, unbuttoning the long sleeve shirt he wore before kneeling onto the cushion and looming over her. She couldn't help as her vision traveled down what she could see of his chest, seeing similar scars along his skin.

She opened her mouth to speak, giving a quiet yelp as she was shoved into the sheets by her neck, her legs now situated around his waist. Her back arched as he leaned over, biting at her shoulder and collarbone once more before around one breast and onto the other. She gave a whining gasp as he reached the peak, his tongue swirling around the sensitive skin and the small bar of metal pierced through it, his teeth grazing the it ever so slightly. He used his other hand to trail along the scar on her chest and down to her pierced belly, his rough fingers caressing the skin until they pushed underneath the tied overalls. Her legs twitched as his fingers reached the piercing between them, feeling as it was surrounded by a moist warmth. He smirked.

"I knew it." He said, rubbing against the piercing and bundle of nerves with another jolt of electricity before removing his hand. She couldn't help the whine that left her throat as her hips bucked lightly from the feeling, and he chuckled. "Easy..." he muttered, returning the palm of his hand to her stomach and shoving her down.

He dug his fingers into the skin around the belly piercing as she glanced down, and she made another strangled noise as he sent another wide current through her piercings. Her back arched as he pressed harder to keep her down, though she was startled as he suddenly crushed his mouth against hers once more. The small currents pulsed in a slow rhythm as she returned the kiss, her legs shaking and tightening against his hips. She let out a soft cry against his lips as the pulses increased, her grip on his arm tightening and even pulling him closer as the waves of a small orgasm rushed through her in spasms. The feeling was strengthened with the addition of... something pressed to her thighs underneath their clothing. But the waves... The small spasms that affected the muscles of her back and legs... While it hadn't been something she had felt even when human, and while she knew what it was, all she knew was that it felt good. REALLY good...

She could have sworn up and down she hated the man at any point before this, but as he broke the kiss and pulled away to look at her, she couldn't help but feel... want? Desire? Whatever it was, she knew she didn't want it to stop at the moment, and that's all that mattered to her. She still didn't want to give in so easily... But god damn was this feeling hard to fight off.

"D-... D-Damn you..." she nearly whispered, her voice wavering slightly. She was met with an amused chuckle as he removed his glasses and lightly sent them to the table they had been at before.

"Just what I like to hear..." He taunted, removing his hand from her throat. "Tell me, Emmy... Do you want more? Feel free to say nothing if you do."

She stared at him as he gave another sly grin, opening her mouth as if to protest... But she couldn't. Instead, she remained silent, though gave an irritated, embarrassed huff as she glanced off to the side. Her lip curled into a silent snarl as he gave another chuckle.

"I thought as much." He replied, leaning up. His fingers were dragged along her skin as he moved, trailing along other scars that littered her skin.

She glanced down to follow his hands, watching as they trailed over her hips and around to her front where the knot in the tied mechanic suit she wore. With one quick movement it was untied and loosened, and she jumped as everything was suddenly pulled away and off of her hips, sliding down her thighs. She froze at the new rush of cool air surrounding the warmth between her thighs, and suddenly the entirety of the clothing was removed as he seamlessly pulled it away from her legs. Now she was completely bare in front of him... Exposed.

The desire to cover herself was overwhelming as she met his eyes, seeing the smugness and sense of possession he gave as he took in every visible inch of her skin. Her arms and legs twitched in an attempt to cover any vulnerable areas, but she suddenly found her arms pinned next to her head and his hips against the backs of her thighs to keep them open.

"Don't you dare." He grumbled, a smirk still on his face as he glanced down slightly before looking back up at her face. "I haven't tasted everything yet."

"Wh-..." she tried, her legs twitching again.

She was met with another kiss as he leaned down, though it didn't last long. She let out quiet pants as his lips and teeth moved along her jaw to her neck, leaving more bites and bruises among the ones that already stained the skin. Her arms twitched as he reached her breasts again, hit tongue repeating the same actions as before on both piercings before finally returning to the large scar running down her sternum. He planted light kisses and nips along it, earning her confusion as he continuously moved lower. She watched as he nipped along the skin of her stomach, the corner of her mouth twitching as he seemingly, almost playfully, gently bit the piercing in her belly and glanced up at her. She rolled her eye for a moment before he sent another current through the metals, and she let out a soft whimper. It wasn't until he let go and moved to kiss and bite around her hips and thighs that she realized, her head shooting up with slight panic as she felt his lips against the inside of her thigh.

"H-Hey-"

"Quiet Emmy." He purred, the tone of his voice making her freeze. She watched as he kissed the inside of her thigh once more, her head landing back against the cushion with a shuddering gasp as he bit along the sensitive skin. Her hand flew over her mouth as he moved closer to her core, whimpering as she felt his tongue gliding along the skin.

"K-Karl, wait-" she whimpered through her fingers, only to take in a sharp, gasping breath as she finally felt his tongue against her, moving slowly as if savoring her reactions.

She tried closing her legs, though found it nearly impossible due to his hands forcing them to stay where they were. She could almost feel the bruises form where his fingers pressed against the skin, though that feeling was second in her mind compared to the pleasured sparks up her spine with each movement of his tongue. She couldn't help as her hand left the sheets, finding its way to his head as he played with the small piercing through the bundle of nerves, sending small electric pulses through her body once more. She felt the vibration as he chuckled against her, gripping his hair with small gasps and whimpers as his tongue delved into the warmth. Her back arched slightly with each movement, her thighs shaking from the new sensations. Why did it feel so good...?! She let out a long whine as the electric pulses continued, eventually biting down on her hand as to attempt to prevent any further noises. She could feel the tightness return as his teeth grazed against the piercing, and suddenly her hand was gripping his hair in a fist as she came again, a multitude of muffled whines and mutterings of his name escaping her mouth while her back arched. She barely heard the grunt he gave as he was pressed against her, not even realizing as he was able to pull himself away.

She flinched as Heisenberg reached up to grab her wrist, her body shaking slightly as he managed to nudge her hand away. He ran a hand through his hair to smooth it out, rising to loom over her once more as he licked his lips. Where the actual FUCK did he learn that?!

"That hurt, Emmy." He purred, keeping his grip on her wrist as she finally looked at him. Her face was red as she panted, her legs trembling as they rested against his hips once more. "Good girl."

He smirked as she stared up at him, his tongue swiping over his teeth before he leaned over and yanked her other wrist from her mouth, pinning both of them to the cushion beside her head. Her breath caught in her throat at the sudden movement, her eye widening as it met his. There was a moment of silence as they held a stare down, only ending as he shifted her wrists into one hand and used the other to undo the belt and button of his own pants in one swift motion. It took her a moment to register the movement, keeping eye contact once the full realization of just how far- and how fast- this was about to go hit her. She squirmed slightly in his grip as she glanced down, nearly breaking said grip, only to get caught in yet another rough kiss as she felt something warm press against her thighs. She could taste herself on his tongue, and somehow it made her arousal worse...

She let out a whining groan as she was rubbed against, her back arching once more at the new feeling, only to give a surprised and somewhat pained cry against his lips as she felt him enter her quickly and fully with a grunt. She gasped into the kiss as he returned his hand to her neck, her back arching into his chest and her thighs once again tightening around his waist. More of the pleasurable feeling shot up her spine as he moved a few times, pressing against her roughly as she gave small whimpers and whines. It felt... good... so good. Why did it feel good? Why did all of this just feel GOOD? What the hell was she missing from her old life that didn't include THIS?? She couldn't help the small moan she gave as the kiss was broken, and he shoved his hips against hers. He tightened his fingers around the sides of her neck with a sly smirk as he stayed where he was. Although the glint in his eyes may have looked malicious, his actions proved otherwise as he allowed her a few seconds to relax.

"Am I being too rough with you, Emmy?" He asked, his smirk widening into a grin as she mindlessly shook her head, though it was more like a few twitches.

"N-... No... N-Not rough enough..." she growled with a challenging tone, though her voice was still light. She was met with a dangerous chuckle.

"Good."

Emelia glared up at him with a somewhat clouded eye, her breaths coming in light pants that turned into gasps and moans as his movements continued, growing faster and harder with each passing second. She struggled to keep her voice down despite the feeling of each thrust sending sparks into her chest. The sounds of his low grunts and deep breathing weren't helping, she found, and it made it much more difficult to control her own pleasured noises. She was then aware of a low laugh from him.

"Ah... I didn't think... you could sound like THIS, Emmy...~" He purred, his grip on her neck tightening. She opened her mouth, nearly flinching as she let out more soft moans.

"S-... S-Shut...." she tried, though was unable to finish any thought with her gasps and whines.

Her arms struggled in his grip, shaking with each thrust, only to suddenly be freed as he let go in order to take ahold one of her hips. She mindlessly reached for him almost immediately, gripping the edge of his shirt with one hand and grabbing the necklaces around his neck with the other in order to yank him down. She was rewarded with another rough kiss, her head being jerked up as he kept a hand around her throat. She let go of the necklaces, instead reaching under his shirt, her fingers trailing over his own scars until her nails dug into his back. There was an internal satisfaction as she heard Heisenberg give a surprised grunt, only to give a yelping cry as he suddenly pulled away to replace his hand around her neck with his teeth.

Small sparks of pain made their way through her shoulder as his teeth broke the skin, though they seemed to amplify the feeling as the thrusts became rough and quick. She finally reached her other hand around and under the shirt he wore, her nails dragging down the skin of his back as her moans and whines grew louder.

"F-... FuCK...! K-Karl...!!" She said suddenly, her voice cracking somewhat as she was met with a possessive growl and the slight smell of fresh blood as he let go of her neck. She couldn't help but gasp as she felt his cheek against hers, his beard scratching against her skin as his lips nearly against her ear.

"You're MINE, Emelia..." He growled.

Emelia felt as more pulsing currents were sent through her piercings, and she couldn't help but cry out as the pulses caught her by surprise. Her muscles tensed, her nails tearing at Heisenbergs back as she felt the waves of a strong orgasm, making her body shake and her legs flex around his waist. Her thighs tightened at his hips, halting him enough to keep him where he was as she came, but not long enough to stop him entirely. He let out a low growl as he kept up his movements until he slammed against her hard enough to move her up a few inches. She gave a gasping moan as could feel his muscles shudder and a strange warmth in the pit of her stomach as he filled her, and her back arched against his chest as she nearly hugged him to her for dear life.

There was small silence as their movement ceased, each breathing heavily. Emelia held onto the man over her as if it meant life or death, momentarily forgetting her irritation around him in the first place as there was a sudden feel of lips along her neck in a multitude of small kisses. They were gentle against her bruised skin... The odd tickle of the facial hair made the corner of her mouth twitch as she panted, unintentionally laying her head to the side for him as she very slowly but surely relaxed. Her irritation only slightly returned as she heard a chuckle from her neck, and she glanced down.

"Th' bloody hell is so funny...?" She muttered, unable to keep the lightness from her voice. She watched as he looked up from her neck, a sly smile across his still bloody lips.

"You're adorable, Emmy." He said simply, making her groan and start to push him away.

"Piss off...!!" She growled, only to gasp as he suddenly leaned over her with a chuckle, nearly being pushed into the mattress again as he finally slipped off the button-up shirt.

"Precious little doll, you didn't seem to hear what I said."

'Doll' ...? Emelia stared at him, now also shirtless, taking in the rest of the scars she had never seen. She could feel her face heat up more as he leaned over her, holding himself up with his hands on either side of her shoulders.

"Wha-" she started, only to let out a gasping yelp as he gave a single hard thrust to silence her.

"I told you, Emelia. You're mine. In more ways than one, it seems." He nearly purred, leaning down to press his nose to hers.

Her single eye widened as he grinned, only to be met with a quick, relatively gentle kiss. It took a moment for her to calm down before she returned it, staying where she was and secretly holding herself to that proclamation. She didn't want to admit it... She never would. But somehow, despite how he could be, this made her feel... wanted. It was an odd feeling, and one she knew she would be hesitant on getting used to. But she still hated him... Right?

She gave a soft whine as he pulled away, physically removing himself from her with a shuddering breath. She let out a whimper as she relaxed back against the covers, feeling an odd coldness and even a slight sense of loneliness as his weight left the mattress. She opened her eye with confusion and watched as his pants were fixed before her vision trailed up his back to see the bloody scratches she had left.

"Whoops..." she muttered, earning a chuckle and a glance back.

"I'll let you relax for now, Emmy. I don't wanna break you just yet..." He joked, nodding to the shirt he had left. "Use that for now, we'll get you another shirt later."

She couldn't help but smirk, her face red.

"Done already...?" She asked, her smirk faltering heavily as he glanced back with an odd mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Never said I was, Doll. This is for your sake."

Emelia watched as he began to walk to the jacket he had left, but she felt... sad. Not because he had stopped. Not even because she almost wished they would keep going immediately... No, it was another reason she couldn't quite place with every step away he took. She carefully pushed herself to sit up, wincing at the tenderness that settled between her legs before reaching for her discarded jumpsuit. But she only grabbed the simple boxers she had, managing to slip them on with minimal issue. She saw him slow his movements as she managed to stand, her knees just the slightest bit weak. Holding on to a support beam on the wall, she shakily made her way over to him as he glanced at her with an odd curiosity. She didn't care if she was entirely naked save for underwear, simply covering her chest with her arm as she reached for him. She stumbled into his back, feeling his muscles tense as her arms slowly wrapped around his torso, her fingers lightly drifting along the hair and scars on his chest.

"Don't you dare leave me like this, Heisenberg..." she muttered, pressing the scarred half of her face against his back. She knew he could feel her trembling as her legs threatened to collapse on her.

There was a moment of silence before she heard and felt him chuckle.

"You really are an odd one, Emmy..." He chuckled, turning his head to glance at her over his shoulder before giving a dramatic sigh. "Have it your way, then."

Emelia jumped as he suddenly turned in her arms, her cheeks going red as his face was suddenly mere inches away from hers. What was she DOING? Why she acting this way? She didn't know... But she was pleasantly stunned as she felt his hand raise and nudge her chin gently. However, instead of it going around her neck again as she expected, he simply caressed her cheek, avoiding the scars around her missing eye; Even he knew she hated them being touched, and now didn't seem like the best time to annoy her. In fact, he almost enjoyed her more when she was calm like this... She couldn't help but feel relaxed as the rough pad of his thumb brushed over her skin. Relaxed enough to settle her cheek into his hand fully, ever so slightly trying to remind herself that this wasn't who he was all the time. This was temporary... But she could do temporary.

"... Don't tell anyone..." She muttered suddenly, keeping her hold on him as he leaned back against the shelving next to them to stay comfy. He chuckled once more.

"Who do I have to tell, Emmy?" He chimed. She stared at him for a moment before shrugging, laying her head against his chest.

It was a moment of domesticity that she vaguely remembered wanting as human... Something about someone being close physically always seemed tantalizing, yet there was no way to achieve it here... Or so she thought. If she could just have more time like this... Though she knew it wasn't meant to last, especially not with him... But for now, she appreciated it. It wasn't until her senses focused on the machinery noises outside of the room that she gave a sigh, reluctantly pulling away from him.

"I should get back to work, then..." she mumbled, taking a few steps away, her fingers dragging along his chest before she turned, not seeing Heisenbergs face as he watched her walk away and run a hand through her hair to push it out of her face.

She made her way over back to the bed-like cushion, absent-mindedly picking the button-up shirt he had been wearing and slipping it on, herself. She'd take it since he offered, and because she didn't necessarily feel like hunting down new clothing. It was only slightly loose over her frame, being only slightly smaller than him in stature, and she felt his eyes burrow into her back as she buttoned it up. Quiet footsteps approached her from behind, causing her to jump with a small gasp as arms surrounded her while the shirt was only halfway buttoned. Heisenberg pulled her back against his chest, one hand on her hip and the other around the front of her waist.

"What are you-" she started, only to stop as the arm around her waist raised to nudge the collar of the shirt off her shoulder, placing gentle bites and kisses along the skin as soon as it was shown. Small shivers went up her spine with the movements, and she let out a wavering breath in attempts to not laugh from the tickling of his beard. "K-Karl, stop-"

"I never told you to get back to work..." He said simply, his now semi-serious tone interrupting he train of thought and causing any hint of laughter to disappear. He trailed kisses and bites to her jaw and her ear once more. "Indulge me then, Emmy, and I'll let you go. Let me have my fill."

Her face fell slightly. His fill... Did he mean...?

"W-What, be your toy until you're done?" She huffed, turning her head slightly to face him. Though he was on her blind side, she could almost feel the grin.

"Well, when you put it that way..." he started, letting his hands wander. One trailed under the shirt slightly, his fingers drifting below her belly, while the other found and gave a gentle squeeze to a now exposed breast from the shirt being moved before resting over the large scar. "Yes. But don't worry. I take care of my toys... I said I wouldn't break you so soon. And besides..." he pressed another gentle kiss behind her ear, "You seem like you want more. Am I wrong?"

Emelia took a shaky breath as she felt the odd sensations once more, reaching to hold onto his forearms as his hands moved. Well, of COURSE he was right... She knew there wasn't much else she would have to do around the factory today anyway. She worked constantly, and the factory ran relatively smoothly without her. She even came here for a break, anyway... And, despite her feelings about him, what the man had just shown her was... Well, her legs still held a slight wobble. To say she wanted more was an understatement. And so, she have a small huff and looked forward, tilting her head to allow him at her neck.

"... Go ahead..." she muttered, her voice an embarrassed tone. She felt his grin against her neck taking a breath as he gave a small, rough bite.

"You won't regret it, Emmy."

She gave a small, joking snort.

"I'll believe you if you can prove it, Karl..."

"Oh, even after what I've just shown you?" He played, his lips pressing to her neck once more. She said nothing, only somewhat easing against his chest with a huff. She rolled her eye as he chuckled, though her breath caught in her chest as his hand left the scar, letting his fingers trail up and along her throat. "I didn't think I would have to prove anything."

"You never do..." she muttered suddenly, only to close her mouth as she felt him freeze behind her. Where the hell did that come from...??

"Oh?"

She was silent for a moment before clearing her throat.

"Th-That, ah..." she started, only stopping as he grabbed her throat and pulled her to him roughly.

"What?" He growled, ever so slightly moving them forward. She took shaky steps, following his direction.

"N-Not... what I... mean..." she finally managed, glancing down with a quick breath as she felt the edge of the work table against the front of her thighs.

"Hm. What did you mean then, Emmy?"

"I..." she tried, though was unable to find her voice. What was this rush of excitement...?? The tone of his voice sent chills down her spine as he nibbled at her shoulder while awaiting a response. She then decided to just speak. What could go wrong?

"I-I mean...." she managed, gaining a smirk and holding onto his arm. She could feel as he tilted his head in curiosity. "You haven't quite done so thus far, how am I to believe you could...?" she continued, feeling his grip tighten. Good. She pulled away from him slightly to aggravate him. "You always need to prove yourself Karl, you won't get far without it-"

She was stopped with a surprised grunt as she was suddenly shoved down against the table, giving a surprised grunt of pain as her chin hitting it with a light *thunk* . He kept his hand between her shoulders, using his weight to keep her down as she moved to rub her jaw. Her hand was then suddenly yanked away as he twisted her arm behind her back, earning an uncomfortable grunt.

"Bloody hell- H-hey-!"

"I don't give proof, huh?" He growled suddenly, leaning down over her to talk into her ear. "I assure you, Emelia, I have all the proof you need."

She opened her mouth to speak, only to shut it with a surprised noise as he suddenly bit down on her neck and yanked her towards him. The backs of her thighs hit his hips, and she let out a small, surprised whimper. He slipped his fingers under the waistline of her underwear with his free hand, taunting her by slowly dragging them down. There was a sudden spark at her piercings once more while her lower half squirmed, and she couldn't help but give a small, moaning whine as she felt the sparks increase. Waves of pleasure traveled up her spine, causing her back to arch into the table somewhat and nearly bite her bottom lip until it bled. Small goosebumps covered her skin as she felt her underwear finally fall to her ankles. It wasn't until she felt him adjust himself behind her that she attempted to look to the side, only to be met with a growl and his teeth digging into the skin more.

She could smell the blood as it began to seep from between her skin and his teeth... It made her head swim as she finally felt him rub against her roughly, the small sparks of pain from his teeth adding to the odd pleasure she was feeling. He removed his teeth from her neck for a moment to speak into her ear, sending more shivers down her spine.

"I've got your 'proof' right here." He purred, his smirk nearly audible. He shoved her down again once more. "HERE!!"

He gave a rough thrust forward as he spoke, filling her quickly once again and earning a yelping moan; but this time, he didn't stop. A mixture of pain and pleasure racked her body as he kept up the rough thrusts, simultaneously twisting her arm more behind her back to hold her there. She couldn't stop the now loud moans and whines she gave as she panted, nearly digging her nails into the metal table supporting her. She could feel the pulses of her muscles threatening to tighten and mutate as she was slammed into nearly mercilessly, her fingers creating small dents in the material as she forced her mutation back once she felt a familiar flutter in her chest. He seemed to notice, letting out a low chuckle through his own grunts and growls.

It wasn't long before she felt the sudden waves of an orgasm, making her give a loud cry as she shifted under him, pressing back against him for a moment. She reached forward quickly and gripped the edge of the table, easily denting and nearly crushing it in her grip with light cries as he continued his thrusts through the tightening spasms. Her body shook while he didn't slow down. Instead, he increased his movements, and she almost felt tears come to her eye with the overwhelming sensation.

Her other arm was suddenly freed as he moved to grip both of her hips, leaning down to bite at her shoulder once more with low grunts and growls. He kept going... Oh god, he kept going. She couldn't speak, the only noises leaving her throat being whines and cries. She couldn't help but lean into his jaw, almost begging him for more despite the overstimulation. Her neck was bitten multiple times as if she were being marked, each bite breaking the skin with ease. Beads of blood slowly dripped from the wounds and over her skin every time he let go, only to feel his teeth elsewhere. She felt tightness below her belly once more as she let out a wavering cry of his name, only to be met with slower thrusts and a growl at her ear.

"What do you want, Emelia?" He growled, his voice low and strained. She couldn't help but squirm and push back against him with whining whimpers as he slowed more, quickly becoming frustrated and seemingly desperate. No... No, why was he stopping... Why was he slowing down?!

"N-.. N-No...!! D-Don't- fuck- D-Don't slow-...!!" She managed, earning a dangerous chuckle.

"Tell me Emelia, or I swear to God I'll stop right NOW." He played. She could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke. She knew this was amusing to him... It was payback for her insults. Her body shook out of desperation and anger as the thrusts slowed considerably, and she put her forehead against the table with a growling whine. He held her hips in place against the table to prevent her from moving against him. She couldn't take it anymore... She wouldn't even try to fight it. It was as if she were being denied a prize, and she hated it already.

"F-Fuck- I-" she started, barely able to get words out, "Y-YOU Heisenberg, you bloody idiot!!! I want YOU!!!" She finally yelled, her voice cracking somewhat. "J-Just... D-Don't... Don't FUCKING stop!!! Fuck- PLEASE!!"

She could almost feel the pride-filled smirk he gave in knowing he had won, but she didn’t care... Her little outburst gave her slight confidence as he chuckled, his last breath coming as a low growl.. She jumped as she suddenly felt an arm around her waist, roughly pulling her back towards him as his other hand reached to pin and hold hers as if keeping her in place. A wavering whine left her lips as he gave a possessive growl, looming over her with obvious intent.

"Good girl." He grumbled, only giving her a chance to inhale before returning to the powerful, near brutal thrusts from before, pulling her to him with each movement.

She didn't even attempt to hide her voice again, her cries and moans growing louder with each passing second. She almost didn't want the feeling to end, allowing herself to melt into him as her back arched into his chest.

"D-Don't... D-Don't stop... F-FUCK- Don't stop...!!!" She repeated, her voice wavering with uneven pants and gasps.

"You. Are. MINE." He suddenly growled in her ear, not letting her respond before biting into her shoulder once more.

More electric pulses were sent through her piercings, nearly making her scream while gripping the hand over hers. The orgasm she felt then was strong, traveling through her body in waves and overstimulation as the pulses continued. The feeling was amplified as he kept moving for a few seconds, finally pressing her roughly against the table with a loud, wavering growl and swear as he came as well. She let out another gasping moan as she felt him twitch inside of her, shuddering with the light warmth she felt at the pit of her stomach.

The room was filled with the sound of their panting and deep breaths as their rode their highs, and Emelia finally relaxed against the table with a shaky, satisfied sigh while still panting. She felt... good. Great, actually... Very sore now, as well as numb, but good nonetheless. It was as if any frustration she felt had melted away with the thin layer of sweat on her body. She gave a quiet whimper as she felt Heisenberg shift somewhat. He removed his jaws from her shoulder, nudging her head and pressing his cheek against hers as his grip on her loosened to allow her to relax more.

"Are you alright, Emmy?" He asked quietly, his voice low and catching her off guard enough to flinch. She only made a small, confused noise as she glanced over. He chuckled, catching a glimpse of the residual pleasured tears that stained her cheek. He reached over, dragging his thumb over her skin to wipe them away. "Is that a yes?"

She kept her eye on him for a moment before giving a small nod and setting her head back on the table. She attempted to shift, but found her body was... unable to move. The numbness had begun to turn into the feeling of being a puddle, she found. Her muscles shook as she tried to push herself up, and she almost collapsed under him. He nearly laughed while kept his grip on her waist, keeping her upright while he watched in interest.

"Would you like some help?"

"N... N-No, I..." she tried, her voice quiet. There was silence for a moment before she gave a shaky sigh, putting her head down once more in defeat. "... y-yes..."

"I thought so." He chuckled, finally pulling himself away with a quiet grunt. She could hear the amusement in his voice. "Alright. Keep steady, now."

Emelia glanced back as he partially adjusted himself, not bothering to fully fix his pants before he let go of her waist. A small panic entered her chest as her legs began to collapse under her, barely able to use the table to keep herself up before she felt him at her side. Her body shook as she tried to lean up once more, reaching to hold on to Heisenbergs arm as he draped it across her shoulders. He didn't even flinch as she leaned her full weight on him, and he chuckled.

"Come on, then." He said, suddenly leaning down once she was fully off the table. She let out a surprised yelp as he swept his other arm behind her knees, bringing her up into a cradling position against his chest as she held onto him tightly. She tightened her grip more as he started to walk, her face red. "Something wrong?" He asked, amusement thick in his voice. She watched his movements, only somewhat relaxing as they neared the bed.

"N-No..." she replied quietly, slowly easing herself in a sitting position the tattered covers as he set her down, wincing again at the soreness she felt. While the fabrics weren't always the best for relaxing, right now they were comforting, and a godsend for her shaking muscles. She then jumped as he sat down himself before he laid beside her with a huff. She stared at him for a moment as he held his arm out for her. What was he doing...?

"Well?" He asked expectantly, raising a brow as she looked confused.

"... what?"

He rolled his eyes.

"You're wearing my shirt Emmy, the least you could do is lay down."

"What-" she started, only to look down. "O-Oh... um..." She had admittedly forgotten what she had been wearing, and sheepishly pulled the shirt over her now throbbing shoulders and neck. She then adjusted herself on the mattress with a quiet grunt. "Ok..."

"NOW you're embarrassed??" He asked, nudging her arm slightly. "Should I describe, in detail, what I just did to you?"

She glared at him and gave a small huff as she managed to lay down.

"Shut up..." she mumbled, somewhat begrudgingly cuddling onto his chest as he smirked.

"It was an honest question."

Emelia only grumbled in response, though relaxed as she felt his arm go around her. She adjusted her head on his chest, pausing as she felt a heartbeat. It was slow and rhythmic, lulling her into a relaxed breathing pattern. He glanced at her as her arm wrapped over his chest as well, though he froze as she mindlessly began to trace over some of the smaller scars over his skin. She watched her own fingers move, an amused smile creeping on her face as she felt him tense and relax at her touch. She tilted her head slightly as she heard a light grumbling from his chest, her fingers pausing. He shifted under her, and she looked up to meet his eyes.

"What...?" She asked, resuming the movements. She watched as his eyes traveled between her and her fingers multiple times, his breathing easy with small grumbles in each inhale.

"Nothing." He replied simply, only to lift his chin slightly in confusion as she moved her hand to the scar across his neck. She felt his breath hitch as she traced it, and he looked at her again. "What are you doing, Emmy?"

"Nothing." She copied, almost laughing as he rolled his eyes.

"Don't get soft on me now Emelia, just earlier you were threatening me." He snorted.

"I still can if you would rather that."

"Hm. No, I'd rather fuck you again."

She went silent for a moment, her face heating up once more with embarrassment. "You said you wouldn't break me." She huffed.

Heisenberg gave a chuckle before turning to face her, gaining a smirk when she looked at him in surprise.

"I won't. I can't, actually." He said matter-of-factly, suddenly pushing her shoulder to have her lay on her back. She jumped, staring up at him in a stunned silence. "That doesn't mean I can't try. I haven't had that much fun in years, and I know you're durable. So am I."

"I-I can tell..." Emelia managed, clearing her throat slightly. Well, she knew he had a point... Despite being sore, she still felt oddly energized... Sure, the light exhaustion was there, but she knew she would have gone back to work immediately if she were physically able to. And she had to admit... She enjoyed this. It felt... normal. Almost.

She kept her eye on him for a moment before taking a breath. Was she really debating on this? The reality of the current situation hit her full force like Sturm on a rampage. She was silent for another moment before gulping slightly.

"What... What is... 'this' , exactly...?" she asked, her voice quiet. Karl drew back slightly, caught off guard by the question.

"Excuse me...??"

"I... You... You piss me off, Heisenberg..." she started, her arms resting at the sides of her head. Each movement of her shoulders resulted in a dull pain from his teeth, and his mouth twitched as he realized. She paused as she saw the smallest... tiniest twinge of regret in his eyes. But she shook her head, looking down at herself.

"I don't... I've been here for... only a short time compared to you, Karl... And now I... We do... THIS..." she continued, looking back up at him as he held his place over her. "What are we doing...?"

It was his turn to stay silent, obviously contemplating his answer. She had seen the same look on his face when discussing important factory matters... It almost made her feel better.

"What do you want from it?" He asked finally, tilting his head with a light shrug. She blinked.

"... What?"

He rolled his eyes, giving a small smirk.

"Ah, who's asking the hard questions now?" He played, chuckling as she glared at him. "I don't quite care what this leads to, I know what my goals are." He explained. "What are yours? What do YOU want out of it?"

"I..." she started, looking to the side. "... I don't know."

"Then don't worry about it!"

"But I-"

"Look, Emelia. If you can't figure it out, then focus on something else. Is it really worth wasting the energy if you don't know right away?" He asked.

She was silent. He... He was right.

"That... That's the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say."

She nearly laughed at his insulted expression.

"Hey-"

"I'm joking, Metalhead..." She sighed with a small smile. There was silence for a moment before she finally gave a huff. "Just... For now just..."

"Come on, we don't have all day." Heisenberg joked, smirking as she glared at him.

"... Shut up you daft idiot." She growled finally, reaching to yank him down by his necklaces.

The movement startled him, but he seemed to know exactly what to do as his lips met hers with a light chuckle. The kiss was... gentle, oddly enough, but she relaxed once more under him. Light shivers traveled up her spine as she felt his fingers travel along her skin. The shirt was fully unbuttoned once again and nudged to her sides, and she took a deep breath as she felt the air on her chest. She only whined as her legs were moved, making him pause. There was a soreness between them from his roughness beforehand, sending small waves of a low, pulsing pain through her body. He gave a questioning hum against her lips, and she spoke against his.

"Sore..." she admitted quietly, feeling his amused smile.

"Good." He replied simply, adjusting himself and his pants to rest between her thighs. Emelia let out a quiet whimper as she was rubbed against, her legs shaking against his hips and her arms reaching out to his onto and wrap around his shoulders.

The dull throbbing sensation continued as he pushed into her once more, earning a somewhat pained whine as her back arched. It hurt... But the feeling lessened to a light sting after a few seconds, and she took lighter breaths. She couldn't help but wonder as he stayed still, his words and question playing in her mind as he returned to his position of leaning on his forearms over her. What DID she want from this...? Did she truly wish for any sort of stability from this? Or just survival? Maybe this was the first and last time she'd experience this, or maybe it would be regular. Did she WANT it to be regular, though? She didn't know... All she knew was that his touch swung wildly between rough and gentle every time he touched her, even before this. He always switched between harsher interactions and kind ones, making her angry and thankful at the same time. And yet, when he touched her NOW... Even while over the table, it was almost careful, hesitant to push her too far even while leaving bruises in her skin. Somehow, while sharing this intimacy, he was a perfect mix of the two. And somehow, it calmed her and even gave a small hope in the back of her mind.

Her thoughts stopped, letting out a breathy moan into the kiss as he started moving, this time at a slow pace. This time she kept her arms around him, hugging him close enough for their bare chests to press against each other. Her breaths and moans came from a different sort of pleasure, almost willing to believe that sharing this with him would allow some sort of normalcy. Her nails dug into his shoulders as he set a careful, hard rhythm, one of his arms moving down to press his hand against her stomach.

A single second passed before Heisenberg sent a low pulse of electricity through her body and piercings, causing her back to arch as she pulled away from the kiss with a gasping whine. She felt as he lowered his head with a low groan, starting to kiss and nibble along her jaw. Her nails dug into his back as his movements increased somewhat, creating more scratches to match the ones he already had. Her voice came out in quiet whines and moans into his ear as she clung to him. Sure this was making the soreness worse, but she almost couldn't tell between the low pulses and thrusts coming from the man. Her body shook while simultaneously encouraging more. She WANTED more... She already admitted as much to herself. Another whine escaped her lips as he nibbled just below her ear.

"Fuck, Emmy...~" he nearly purred into her ear, lifting her hips slightly and switching to smaller quick thrusts.

"K-... K-Karl-! F-FUCK-" she managed, her voice breaking somewhat as she allowed her legs to loosen at his sides to bring him closer. She whimpered as he suddenly leaned up, her nails digging and sliding down to his biceps before gripping them as she felt a familiar tightness below her belly; he could feel it, too.

Emelia suddenly held her breath in a surprised, wavering gasp as he slid his hand up her body from the belly piercing, his fingers dragging along the large scar on her chest before lingering and pressing against the sides of her neck. Her whines and moans continued, even as his hand moved higher to her jaw. She then jumped as his thumb pushed past her parted lips, resting on her tongue. She attempted to look up at him, but found it difficult to even keep her eye open... Heisenberg gave a low chuckle at the sight, pushing on her jaw slightly. He didn't even have to say a word as her mouth nearly closed around his thumb. Her whines and whimpers grew louder and her grip on him tightened, and she could only gasp as he pulled his thumb from her mouth and replaced it with his own.

The kiss was returned instantaneously, followed by her wavering, now muffled cry as she finally came once more. He grunted into the kiss as she tightened around him, her legs wrapping around his waist once more while her back arched. She wrapped her arms fully around his shoulders with overstimulated whines as his pace quickened before he finally let out his own wavering moan against her lips. She joined him with her own moan as he shoved his hips against hers, feeling the warmth enter her as he rode out his own orgasm with shaking muscles. God, it felt... It felt good... The warmth and twitching from him kept her whines going as they panted, her body shaking under him.

Both were silent for several moments, the kiss lessening to gentle movements before breaking.

"D-... D-Damn..." Emelia nearly squeaked, her head rolling to the side as her jaw was nuzzled.

"Hm. Are you alright?" Heisenberg asked, earning a small nod.

"... gonna be sore..." she replied quietly, relaxing somewhat as he kept his face against hers. He chuckled.

"You wanted it."

"Shush..." she huffed. Her breathing eased, feeling his smile against her skin. This was... Nice, she had to admit... An uncomfortable whine left her lips as he began to push himself up and away, only pausing as her legs twitched around him to keep him there. "N-No... stay..." she whined, watching as he raised a brow. "... P-Please..."

"I've never heard you say 'please' this much." He joked, earning a light glare. But he simply returned to his place over her with an amused chuckle, nearly laying on her.

She was relaxed despite nearly his entire weight on her torso, though she had no issues. He was really warm... She could almost purr with the warmth both on top of and inside her, the feeling relaxing her to the point of her limbs going lax around him. She felt him chuckle against her skin, taking a breath as his lips found her bruised neck. But her mind wandered elsewhere, and she found herself pressing her cheek to his.

"Can we... Not talk about this...?" She asked quietly, earning a confused hum as he glanced at her.

"Oh? What do you mean?"

"J-Just... Um..." she tried, turning her head to look at him. "M-Maybe this could be... just... stress relief...?"

She jumped as Heisenberg shifted, his face now hovering over hers with their noses together.

"Just stress relief?" He asked, amusement dancing in his eyes as her face reddened. "Is that what you want?"

She simply nodded, her fingers traveling over small scars that covered his upper back and shoulders. 'For now...' she thought. Wait, 'for now'...?? Did she really mean that...? She was pulled out of her thoughts as he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead.

"Then so be it." Heisenberg said simply, meeting her gaze. She stared up at him before nodding and taking a breath. But he moved before she had a chance to even think, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Hold on."

"What-" she tried, only to cling to him with a surprised yelp as he pushed against the mattress to lean up with her against his chest. She let out a light whine as she was shifted on him, small sparks shooting up her spine as she was settled against his hips while he sat and leaned back against the wall. He couldn't help but smirk as she let out a whimper, her legs twitching. "Better?"

"I..." she tried, though couldn't manage words as she felt him shift against her to make himself comfortable. So she simply nodded before leaning against his chest.

It was his turn to freeze as she nuzzled to his neck, giving a pleased sigh as his arms hesitantly went around her waist. She relaxed against him, enjoying the warmth he gave and the feeling of his arms around her.

"... You're warm..." she said quietly, earning a surprised chuckle.

"I would almost hope so." He replied, reaching up and under the shirt she still wore to drag his fingers along small scars on her back. He smiled as she relaxed. "I'm going to assume you're not moving any time soon?"

He nearly laughed as she nodded against his shoulder.

"Fair assumption..." she mumbled, closing her eye.

While she wasn't necessarily tired, there was a sliver of exhaustion in her chest. She had to admit, there was still pain from the bite marks that now covered her neck and shoulders, and the soreness of her legs came as a dull throbbing. But she oddly didn't mind... She held her breath as she realized her enjoyment of this. The touches, the intimacy... Even the dull pains she felt. Maybe she didn't even mind HIM...

No, no... She DID mind him. Did she...? She still found him infuriating... But the way he held her now was... Well, it made her question quite a bit.

She finally sighed, relaxing fully against him. She focused on his touches against her back instead of the thoughts in her mind, willfully ignoring them for once. She'd enjoy what she had for now... Her attention went to the sounds of his heart and distant machinery, letting them lull her into a light sleep. She didn't NEED she sleep at the moment, but to her, it was almost perfect.

She only hoped it would stay that way.

[taeguboi]

‘The Closet’ -- J Hope x Reader

Requested - I know everything lately is coming in parts but I just wanna stay active with my writing, so this is going to be a 2 part thing, even though it’s technically a one shot type thing

Masterlist // “Godammit Hoseok!” (My other J Hope x Reader one-shot)

The music industry is definitely not always as glamorous or exciting as one might think; four sleep-deprived individuals with a coffee supply to accommodate the entire college stare blankly at a computer screen with the same word on their minds --

Deadline.

“Guys, there are literally no takes I can say I’m pleased with… can we try again?” you question.

“We’ve only been able to book til 7… It’s like 20 to now…” Namjoon states.

“This set of assignments are the most stressful yet, I swear…” Hoseok groans, throwing his head into his hands.

You had been sat in the studio today with Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok for most of the day now, since early morning. To the outsider, this was just a course in which all you need to strive for is to achieve a decent final grade, but to you and your hard working friends, this was something so much more. This is a chance to prove your talents, your abilities, create something special that might one day reach out to people.

“Maybe if we just like fall asleep in here, the caretaker will take mercy upon us and leave us here and we can continue throughout the night” Yoongi jokes, stretching his arms out to behind his head and leaning back in his chair.

“Nah, that'd never happen Yoongs; we'd have to like hideout in that cupboard over there…” Namjoon chuckles, pointing over at the unaccounted for closet.

You get up out your chair and walk over to the closet door “What's this even used for anyways?” you enquire with a giggle, trying at the door handle, only to discover it locked.

“I don't know, extra mic stands or something?” Yoongi shrugs.

“Nah, they're kept in the corridor I think… I bet it's something weird like… a shower room!” Hoseok suggests.

“What would a fricking shower be doing in a studio Hobi, huh?” Namjoon asks.

“Yeah Hobes, that would be breaking like so many health and safety rules, man!” you continue, joking.

“Ah, I really don't get how we find the will to live and joke at times like this….” Yoongi states, changing the subject, or so you think. “... And it's probably like washed up students who didn't pass….” Yoongi jokes “oooooh!” he dramatically whoos as though he is successfully scaremongering a child.

“Oh give up guys! What are we gonna do?” Namjoon groans with genuine concern about the project at hand, nodding towards the screen with an incomplete project displayed.

“There's only one thing for it; we come in as and when, even if not all of us. Whenever this place is free, we're get in here and work our asses off.” Yoongi responds expectantly.

Again, to an outsider, the response would be something along the lines of “hell no!” but why turn down the chance to work towards your dreams? Of course, everyone agrees, beginning to pack their bags and the equipment away, ready to get home and crash in their beds to catch up on some much needed sleep.

***

The very next morning, as expected, before any scheduled lesson times, everyone has piled into the studio to continue working, yourself taking plenty of drinks to lubricate your vocal chords and the boys having bought out a whole coffee shop to ensure everyone can stay alert during this unusual schedule.

“Right, one more time y/n to try another take and then me and Joon are gonna have to leave for our lesson” sighs Yoongi, finger ready at the mouse to click that ‘record’ button.

“Okay” you exhale deeply, the nerves trembling through you, forever being victim of red-light syndrome… Honestly, at times, you could practice countlessly and absolutely nail the song, but the minute that red button is pressed, something just ends up feeling… off.

Another take is attempted, and although it's probably your best yet, you can't help but still feel dissatisfied with the outcome.

“Right, you guys get going to class, I'm gonna keep practising, sorry” you apologise.

“Don't worry about it y/n; we all agreed we wanted to make this good” Yoongi reassures you as he and Namjoon make their way to exit. “Hobi can practice lines with you while we're gone.”

“But he's recorded everything” you reply, starting to feel annoyed that you don't possess the confidence that the rapper has when it comes to recording.

You can't help but feel that you're the one hindering the process of completing the track; the song is genius, penned, mixed and all the rest by the boys; the boys are reliable and so talented that you just couldn't wait to start collaborating with them when they requested that you give their song a female vocal… You were now just at the point of getting stressed out at yourself in your mind for your own incompetence.

“I'll stay with you though, so we can work on those nerves” Hoseok kindly tells you as Namjoon and Yoongi exit. His words threw you though; you'd never actually told a single one of the lads about your red light syndrome, so how did he know?

“I...I never said I was nervous” you stutter, evidently trying to tell yourself this more than him.

“Look, I used to get it all the time; recording, it's scary right? Like once that button gets hit, whatever you do has the potential to exist forever. It's natural to worry about messing up or not doing a good enough job.”

Well this feels a bit embarrassing now.

“Ah, n-n-n-n-no” you stutter “it's not that” you nervously chuckle, over exaggerating your gestures. “Yoongi was right; I just need more practice” you lie, not wanting to look like a fool in front of your class mate, though you're pretty sure you've failed to keep up a calm and collected persona now.

“Hmm” he mumbles uncertainly “Okay…”

You're rather sure he can tell just how hard you have been practicing and how you know this piece like the back of your hand; you could sleep sing this; if you woke up tomorrow, remembering only one thing, it'd be this.

And you know he knows.

“At least relax and have a coffee first, yeah?” he suggests.

“Fine” you sigh in defeat. “I swear you lot have an unhealthy obsession.”

“It's what keeps us going!” he defends dramatically, eliciting an awkward giggle from you as you feel slightly more awake from just Hoseok’s bright smile.

“Okay okay, I won't send you off to coffee-holics anonymous just yet…” you jest, grabbing a tepid cup for yourself.

“Hmm” you mumble with the same uncertainty as the boy in front of you previously had. “It's too cold for my vocal chords; I'm gonna have to nip out for a new one”

“Alright. I'll join you actually… in fact….” he continues, scrambling through his jacket pocket “...I'll pay!”

“Oh no! I can't possibly take money from someone who's time I've already wasted plenty of…” you argue.

“Who said anyone has taken or wasted anything?” he smiles. “What's wrong with ordering two lots of coffee for myself and happening to change my mind about the second?” he questions.

“You are daft Hobi.”

*

Entering the coffee shop, you wonder if the blonde haired boy who is strangely eager to order and buy your usual is trying to sweeten you up for some reason. Maybe he thinks you're purposely making bad takes as an excuse to stay away from other problems or something? A long shot,perhaps, but more likely the this stupid little fantasy that crops up in your in for just one naive moment before you tell yourself that you're certain it's the former.

Seating yourself at a quiet booth by the window, you pull out your laptop from your bag and connect to the cafe wifi for assignment work, and for a solid five minutes, you are able to write a couple of paragraphs for some evaluation.

“For you!” Hoseok chirps, carefully placing down both cups of caffeine rush. He observes your current typing urgently and sighs as he takes a seat opposite you.

“Y/n, we're supposed to be taking a breather: now put that laptop away and let's… talk” he smiles genuinely, though you're still uncertain whether your slight crush is making you blind to any sarcasm or insincerity.

You've always tried to brush Hoseok off, trying to just see him like a stain on your shirt - not noticeable always straight away, and when you do notice it, it doesn't completely ruin your day. Which is perhaps why you had subconsciously thought of the latest assignment deadline the moment opportunity knocked to chill out in his company.

“Ugh, I'm sorry Hoseok, I just tend tend to prefer evenings and weekends of freedom…” you excuse.

“Ah, freedom… what is that?” he questions with a sigh, placing his cheeks in his hands, attempting remain with a serious expression. You have to try your best not to break out in a stupid grin at the sight.

“I don't know… maybe it's in the closet” you jest, referring to yesterday's conversation about the mysterious door, and you figure you are now safe to smile a little excessively.

As though Hoseok is sat in daydream, he stares somewhat longingly out of the window, looking onto the busy city passing by. “Man, that'd be neat, to find whatever it is you need all behind one door…”

“Unfortunately, we all have to open several of them just to get even part of something we want nowadays” you bluntly reply, snapping him out of his romanticized thoughts.

*

Back in the studio, something catches your attention the minute you walk in -- well, not something specific, like a coat disappearing, but you can sense a change in the room since you left. Had someone been in here during your short break?

Seating yourself at the chair behind the microphone, you let out a huge sigh of frustration, still feeling unprepared to record a decent take, and you half expect Hoseok to give you some bullshit lecture again about how everything will be okay, but instead, you notice his attention is elsewhere.

Reaching out to the closet, Hoseok catches his fingers through the now existing gap between the door and the frame and the door effortlessly brushes open. The look of dopey excitement on his face is adorable, you mentally note as you get out of your seat to investigate just what Hoseok is up to…

“Well, I guess now, we can find out what’s behind this bloody door” he states, walking into the dark miniature room.

“Hoseok? What are you doing?” you question.

“Woooaahh!” he exclaims, clearly making an overreaction at what is probably a pile of textbooks on a shelf.

“Hobi, get out of there!” you instruct.

“No, y/n, you have to come check it out! It’s amazing!” he cries out, clearly trying to persuade you to go along with some pointless, insignificant clause.

But of course, you comply.

“Fine” you exhale, following behind the boy.

Entering the ‘mysterious’ room, you are slightly disappointed that the room is in fact empty.

“I don’t get it” you say with confusion. “All the times they moan about not having enough room for storage, yet here’s a perfectly good room just collecting dust and sorting nothing but fusty air…”

“Eh, I don’t know… I kind of like it” replies Hoseok. “It’s concealed from the world; it’s almost… cosy. It makes a pretty good hide out if you’re having some sort of panic attack I reckon.”

“Perhaps… but other than that?” you challenge.

“I have my ideas, but…” he begins, reaching for the handle and slowly pulling the door inwards to close it “...it depends.”

“Depends on what? What are you doing Hobi?” you ask, feeling as though you should be worried right now that some college guy is shutting the two of you in a closet that could potentially lock itself up.

“Depends if you’re claustrophobic for one thing…”

“I’m not.”

“In that case…” he continues, now definitely closing the gap. “Other than that, I could help you with those nerves…”

“Is that not the same thing as hiding out from the rest of the college?”

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t” he states, taking a step towards you and closing the space between you.

“Hobi, what are you playing at?” you enquire, quite conscious of how close you are to Hoseok now.

I feel like something is about to escalate super fast you think to yourself, and this thought is only heightened as Hoseok moves his gentle hand up to your dumb founded cheek.

You can’t help but feel drawn into him like a magnet.

Part 2 here

[bubwagon]

this weekend was a trip

i went to oregon again

i spent this weekend feeling anxious and nervous about whether or not someone i used to sign off with an “i love you” to wants me around, likes me, or cares about me. yes, that’s the wrong tense. i’m too nervous to place it in past tense.

anyways, that’s probably indicative of a bad relationship, but i don’t think my relationship with ian was ever bad, just not exactly what either of us needed at the time. i definitely need someone who’s more emotionally available, and he needs someone who doesn’t live so far away from him. it’s fine that we broke up. i’m emotionally intelligent. i don’t really want to pine for what i can’t have right now, or what isn’t good for me. but i love him. i always love people. it’s pretty unfortunate. my gay ass just wants to emotionally connect with everyone i meet. i don’t know what circumstances led me to choose someone so closed off and emotionally distant, but they happened. i love him! and i’m comfortable loving him as a friend but i just need that reassurance that he feels the same way.

which, like, i received. i had another serious fucking conversation with him (his favourite)

i was like, hey, i really value you, and i don’t want to lose you, and i don’t know how i’m gonna still gonna be friends with you if you respond to facebook messages at a rate of 1 every 4 days.

and he gave me this whole thing about how his closest, oldest friends are ones that he speaks to once or twice a year. it’s not a big deal for him. he doesn’t feel the need to reassure people that he likes them, and people who he’s friends with don’t need that. which is fine, if that works for him. i’m a huge talker. i wanna connect all the time. it’s not about not needing to talk to someone to prove that you like htem, it’s about liking them and /getting/ to talk to them for me, because you like doing that. we both admitted that part of the problem was that we went from 0 to dating in a snap and we never sussed out the “friend territory”. at the same time, i don’t need to be update with the minutia of his life. i don’t need him to change the way he maintains friendships for me, because, well. probably because i view it as either i play by his rules or i lose him completely, because he’d never acquiesce to mine. which sucks, but it’s….. just what happens with my life sometimes. maybe a lot of the time. but, i don’t need to talk to him every day.

he assured me that he wouldn’t just ghost me and that he wants to still be my friend. he even said that some day in the future he’d want to revisit dating if our lives ever lined up. he said something about “not wanting to take it off the table completely”. don’t get me wrong, i love his skinny white ass. and i’m really happy that he likes me enough that he’d consider doing this all again. he’d have to do some like, character growth before i could see myself dating him again. he’d have to value people slightly more than WoW. He’d have to be a little better at reaching out, and be a little more comfortable with emotions. the binary of not seeing each other/living together meant that i always craved intimacy when we were apart, and he’d crave space when we were together. anyways, that’s a tangent. the point is: he /must/ like me if he’d want to date me again, especially considering we broke up. he /must/ not ghost me or lose contact with me forever because he said he wouldn’t. right?

when i approached him about this i waved for him to come over because i needed a hug and he did give me a really nice hug. he kinda joked about being exasperated, it hink. but he held me for like the amount of time i needed. and he let me let go first.

(warning gross intimate stuff comin right now just skip this paragraph)

i slept in his bed this whole weekend which some people (read: everyone) think is weird. it was honestly really nice. he’s shit about communicating vocally, but he’s not bad physically. he’s pretty cuddly, which is funny because he’s not the kind of person who craves physical intimacy. on the last night i laid my head on his stomach in bed and he put his hand on my shoulder and kept his other (the reddit phone hand) on my head. it was just kind of a tentative shy touch, but he did it because he wanted to, which was relaxing. later, when we were getting ready for bed i asked if he’d be the big spoon for a minute, because i normally spoon him. and he did and it was nice. he always puts his arm under my neck and i hold his hand. he kinda scoops me in with the other. sometimes we’d switch and i’d lie with my head on his shoulder and his arm around me. every few minutes he’d hold me extra tight for a second. he’d press me into his body in a half hug. i don’t know why because he had class the next day and shoulda been trying to sleep. eventually, i spooned him, and he like, nestled his body all the way flush with mine. i don’t remember him doing that when we did date. he reached behind him and stroked my leg. sometime during this whole night i got half up to adjust a pillow and to give him a kiss. i propped myself half up and dipped to give him a lazy little smooch. to my surprise he held me there and we ended up having some really bomb sex. since i’m getting all the way confessional here: he does this thing i fuckin love where it’s like doggy but he keeps his back flush against mine, one hand around my neck, the other on my clit and his heads close enough to growl in my ear and it’s like, a slow burn of a fuck sorry guys i’m really writing this so i remember what happened and well, THIS HAPPENED. oh, another thing thta happened: i was going down on him and i kissed my way down his chest and he would not stop shaking so i asked him if he was cold, he said a little so i threw a blanket on top of him, but he kept shaking it was satisfying. honestly i’m proud of him he’s gone from a shakin little vigin boy to Fun to Fuck in the span of a few months. @the next girl he dates: YOU’RE WELCOME. god imagine if the next girl he dates is still me.

okay the main point of that was he would not have held me if he didn’t like me. he wouldn’t have hugged me when he was trying to go to sleep if he didn’t care, because he cared enough to lose sleep making me feel good. or making himself feel good. especially because we talked about just, physical affection in general, and how ian is not the kind of person who CRAVES it. like, he’s very cuddly when it’s presented, but he doesn’t seek it out and doesn’t feel the need to do it when it’s presented. so like, he’s because he wanted to, right? it’s not because he was craving touch, he wanted to touch me? sounds dumb to say. ian’s not the kind of guy who is gonna spend a lot of time talking about how he feels about you. (before, when we were on honeymoon high he’d tell me every night that he thought i was funny, and cute, and pretty, and nice, and beautiful, but that was ALl the Way Back TheN) but maybe he’s more comfortable expressing it physically. i guess it’s fucked up that i need to reassure myself he likes me or that he cares about me. i thinik today in the car i was trying to be like “well that’s just how he is” and ellis was like “fuck that do not make excuses for him” which i fucking appreciate. i guess my insecure newly anxious ass needs to write this all out and point to evidence that tells me that without a doubt in some ways he feels about me the way i feel about him.

that’s honestly all i ever want! just to feel like someone feels about me the same way i feel about them. i rarely feel like i get that because i feel like i love everyone way too intensely. which is like, stupid, because i don’t know how people feel. they could like me exactly as much exactly as much without showing it in the way i do (i.e: with no subtlety) or care about me exactly as much without having the resources i do to be generous about showing it (i’m a people person, it’s easy for me to be there for people, it’s easy for me to care, it’s easy for me to lend people financial, physical, and emotional resources because i have access to them) and that’s just a thing i have to deal with and get over. and it can suck? because i feel like i’m the one compromising or lowering my expectations or ignoring my own needs for the sake of others. it’s not their fault, but it’s not mine either. like, i’m being dramatic, this isn’t EVERYONE, but it’s been one of the mainstay problems i’ve had throughout my life that i’ve never been able to fix because it feels like the answer is “love less and be more selfish” and even though i’m certain it’d make my life easier i don’t wanna do it!!

some other things i want to remember:

he looked out for me in small ways. if i laid my head down and turned off my phone he’d turn off the light. when it came to dinner plans i had mentioned i didn’t want curry, ellis walked in and when we asked him what he wanted he said curry. we had been going on for so long about what we wanted to eat i wasn’t gonna say anything but ian spoke up and said “bob say she doesn’t want curry”. we were talking about some stuff and it went kind of like:

me: i was gonna say something shitty

him: what

me: it’s not shitty in a way that’s going to be fun for you

him: i can take it

me: (bitterly) something about how i’m glad i was useful, like a tool. like a screwdriver, or a good shotglass.

him: right, like that’s all you were here for. could you give yourself some more credit PLEASE?

me: can you not say this gay shit to my face liike this?

him: you’d be more like a hammer

me: why?

him: it’s like a tool that kindergarteners would know

here’s another thing i should remember: nick told me ian said he was stressed about dealing with someone being so sad all the time. he doesn’t have a lot of bandwith for stuff like that, and he got busy in school, and he just got out of a deep depression a little big ago. he needed to be further away from it, not closer. i told nick that it was because i was more depressed this year than i’ve ever been before, and it’s because i had a breakup w/ a boyfriend who was always there for me. my life was just More Stressful and instead of getting more support, i was getting less, and that that was making it worse. i just needed to feel like someone cared. and it coulda been in little stuff.  if once a day ian asked me how i was, i guarantee it wouldn’t have been like this right now. anyways, this not a big deal. i said, it’s not his fault, but it’s not mine either. and nick said, it sounds like it’s more his fault than yours. O one last thing I was like worn out about dealing w/ emotions and he was like, yeah I can tell, so even if he doesn't speak up he notices?

a lot of this sounds like he just didn’t… really…. care in any significant sense. and it’s kinda weird? a lot of the stuff that people have told me about him line up with what i know. he’s emotionally distant. he shuts down. he doesn’t know what feelings are. he doesn’t know how to be there for other people. he experiences friendships and relationships on a surface level. he’s shitty at girls, sometimes to girls (holla @ my girl erica) he won’t get real with you. he’s shitty at communicating. the way i met him was with us talkiing for 10 hours a day about whatever shit was going on. we’d trade traumatic life event stories as a way to bond. one night, i told him that after i was raped 3 times in my freshman year and just the way i dealt with it and thought about myself afterwards, that i had self confidence falling out of my asshole, but i didn’t give a shit about myself either. if i died i wouldn’t care. and later he admitted he cried after hearing that, because it made him so sad. we used to skype a lot, and if i was upset i wouldn’t look into the webcam because i don’t meet people’s eyes when i’m sad. when i did finally look at the screen, he’d always be looking at me. not at his phone or other screen, which is what he usually did. but at me. not saying anything, but it was all i needed to feel like someone was connecting to me and that they cared. all of the stuff i know from him int he beginning is out of line with what i’ve learned about him now and from this weekend. maybe this means i’m special (never the conclusion i really want to draw) or that he tried. honestly, i do think he tried his hardest. 

this has been an astoundingly long post. i’m at a friend’s house in seattle and he pulled an all nighter so he’s in bed so i’m just in his guest room waiting to feel tired.

i’m gonna tl;dr it:

what i want:

- reassurance that ian likes me, cares about me, and wanted me at his house this weekend

- the comforting knowledge that this won’t be the last time i ever see him and that he cares enough to continue our friendship. i want him to want to see me again.

- to visit corvallis again and see my cool new friends and maybe while i’m there continue this friends-with-benefits thing which will hopefully be easier with more emotional distance from our breakup (sorry i’m a huge ho lmao it takes me so much effort and trust to find someone i’m comfortable hooking up with i don’t wanna stop a good thing you know!!)

- reassurance that my relationship with ian was a positive thing in his life, and that he enjoyed his time, and maybe learned something about himself or people

- and maybe one day, to date him again when he’s worked out some stuff on his end

what i know:

- he told me he wants to be my friend still. he told me he would want to try dating again. i asked him several times if he still wanted me to come over, and he said yes every time. he held me at night which is a language i can loosely translate to mean i value your company, i want you here, and i care about you.

what i need:

- to accept our new relationship in whatever form it takes, and to do it with as much grace as i possibly can

[taronegerton-fantasies]

Let’s Start The New Year Right

A/N: Happy new year guys!!! I’m a bit behind I’m so sorry huhu. I looked back at my previous works and I laughed because everytime I post something, there will be words like “it has been so long” LOL it has been so long indeed! I haven’t posted something in 4 months. I need to add that on my New Year’s Resolution. I need to post more often! Hahahaha. I have been really busy with school lately. I’m working on my thesis paper so forgive me. Anyway, I hope you like this one. It’s pure fluff with a little bit of angst on the side. Tehez

---------

I observe my surrounding as the heavy bass music blares in my ears. I am in my best friend Chloe’s house in Aberystwyth. I recognize some people that she has invited in her New Year’s Eve party who are trying to dance their way to the last festivity before the year ends. Some of them were my classmates in few of my subjects. Some of whom I had had a little conversation with and never talked again. Some were I had seen loitering in the hallway and who didn’t even bother going to classes, and some were just I used to see in my old school. They were scattered to different corners of the house. A few people I have bumped into were basically on these five common areas of the house: the corners, the living room area (specifically the sofa), kitchen, the backyard, and the front porch. I mean this is not a high-school-kind-of party, what do you usually see in a grown-up party? Are the overflowing booze and cigarette and blunt smoking still included?  

It’s the time of the year again where people will leave their frustrations behind them and kick-start the new year in a most fascinating way. Forgive people who have wronged you and forget everything and just move on. Fuck that fucking shit. That doesn’t make any single sense to me. They say that forgiveness puts the final seal on what happened that hurt you. Yeah, but that doesn’t you have to forget everything and the person who has wronged you. It’s like you have given them the key to do you bad again. You just proved yourself that you can always throw yourself to the lions whenever you want it. Do you also find it funny when people say “New year, new me”? I mean who says that when you can’t even maintain “the change” for a long time. It’s like you’re trying to write a long ass paragraph of your life in a chapter and once you re-read it, you realized you made a mistake and you will just shrug it off and just write something new in the next chapter but you still end up committing the same shit again you did before. Fucking ridiculous, right?

You might be thinking I’m a mental human kind who happens to be surrounded by normal people in a party. Yeah, I would rather give you that idea than tell you that this house, the one I’m in it right now and leaving invisible traces of mine at this moment holds a lot of memories for me. A roller coaster of my emotions have been lying in these safe walls of this house. And what’s the significance of this humble abode to me?

Chloe’s sister has a brother. His name is Taron. Taron was also my brother’s best friend. Chloe and I became known to each other when we moved in to the house next to them when we were both 6 years old. We weren’t exactly speaking before until their mum asked my mum to look after them both for a day. Since then we have been inseparable and so was my brother and Taron.

We could be seen mostly hanging out in the living room area as the entertainment and all stuff were located there. This is where we watch movies together, play board games, or just have a little bit of a chat. It was the most pleasant space in the world. His room is a whole lot different. This where I lost my virginity for the very first time and my first kiss from Taron. The sex was great, super fucking great. I’m not gonna go into details but it was a fuck-yeah-amazing kind of experience.

My first kiss with him was sweet and slow. I was embarrassed since I didn’t know how to kiss then but he guided me throughout the entire process. We didn’t make out though, he cuddled me and slept the whole day.

Taron and I was once a couple back in the days. It lasted for two years until I saw him with another girl in his bed. I was on my way to this house after I got back home from work to visit my best friend and Taron. Chloe had told me to just go straight to the house if she wasn’t there, also because of her work. So I did. And that was when I heard the strings of moans and a litany of profanities you usually hear in a porn flick. When I burst through door, I saw him with an unrecognizable girl on his bed. The bed where we usually make love and cuddle. His bed that I used to love and know I deeply hate. I ended it right away and never talked to him again even if he had knocked multiple times in our door and wait for hours in our front porch to talk to me. I did not face him.

Taron and my brother fought because of the incident. They put an end to their friendship but rekindled after a few months, which I rolled my eyes at. Boys.

We moved to London a year after my mum got a promotion at her job. That was the last time I saw him since the incident. Chloe and I would still try to meet and catch up if we were both free. She wished that things would go back to the way they were before so we could be all happy again. I would just smile sadly and hug her. She told me that their mum was missing me and would occasionally blame Taron for what he had done. Chloe and Taron had gone through a rough patch before also because of me. I kind of felt bad because people around him were being bitchy but I just think that he deserved that.

He had been bugging me with apologies on social media but gave up when he received none from me. Guilt would occasionally come crashing down on me but when memories of him and the girl fucking on his bed hit me like a freight train, I realized I shouldn’t be.

After Taron heard that I was coming to visit my previous hometown, he has risen from the dead and bombarded me with annoying messages. He said that he wanted to see me and wanted to talk. Chloe also said the same thing though. She says that he was miserable and regretful of what he had done up until now, says that he has been asking me lately how I was doing and if I was coming to the party. When he found out I was coming, his constant messaging happens again.

I also heard from Chloe that Taron is working in company as an art director in London. He knew that I have been living in London for quite some time now. but I had asked her if she told him where I work an my current flat. She told me she didn’t even if Taron kept asking my work address and my flat which I couldn’t be even more thankful to her.

Since I have arrived here, I make sure that he wouldn’t see me and I think I succeeded. Actually, I didn’t want to come but I can’t refuse to Chloe’s request and I haven’t seen her in such a long time, so I ended up just hiding in a house full of drunk people.

I have already seen Taron roaming around but I immensely avoid him. I know he has been looking for me, but I make sure he won’t see me. Not today, nor forever.

 TARON’S POV

 I know she’s somewhere around here. Chloe told me. I asked her a million times just to make sure that Y/N’s coming even if her answers were somewhat annoyed. I want to see her. I want her to know that I’m eternally sorry for what I did. That I was just tempted to sleep with a girl from another school. I want her to know that I’m still in love with her and she has always been on my mind. I want her to know that I want nobody but her and I want her back in my life.

As I was having a little moment by myself, I felt a clap on my back. I quickly whip my head to see who it is and my good friend Nikolai is grinning at me with a cup on his hand.

“Are we having a good night?” he asks excitedly.

“Killin’ it.” I say, returning the grin.

“Have you seen Y/N already? Heard that she’s here.”

My grin falters at the mention of Y/N’s name. I smile sadly and shake my head. “No, man.”

Nikolai claps my back again, twice. “It has been 7 years. She’ll forgive you now.”

“She would have done it before if she wanted it. She’s making a point that she doesn’t want my apologies nor my existence. I did her wrong. I deserve that.” I say sadly.

“Oh man, don’t be so hard on yourself. Maybe tonight, you’ll get to kiss her when the clock strikes at 12.” His voice low, teasing.

I push him a little away from as I snort. “She couldn’t even reply to my messages and then I’ll get to kiss her? Dude??” I cock an eyebrow at him as I look at him humorously.

“Dude?? Look at how good you have gotten the past years! I swear if I was Y/N, I would forget  everything and kiss the crap out of you.” He remarks.

My eyes widen in pure horror and take a step back away from him, “Get away from me!”

He laughs manically, spilling some of his drink on the carpet. Surely, Chloe would be cranky and pissed at cleaning the carpet the next morning. Poor sister.

“I’m just saying though!” He says, still laughing. “Anyway, have a smashing night! Remember what I said!” He claps me again on the back. I return the gesture by also patting his chest twice and by saying the same thing. And with that, he starts walking away.

I let out a sigh and get myself a drink in the kitchen. After I got myself one, I start walking toward the stairs and make my way up to the terrace. All my hopes on seeing her this time came crumbling down on me again like it’s always been. Maybe this isn’t the right time, I thought.

As I’m about to enter the threshold, I stop as I see a figure of a woman leaning on the railings. Her back is onto me, her body facing the backyard below her. Her dirty blond hair is styled somewhat wavy. She is wearing a pink dress. Beside her are a pair of high heels, I suppose she removed it because her feet got tired. Her senses start penetrating her whole being, her inner self tells her that someone is watching her because she whips her head at my direction. And I swear my heart stops beating.

Y/N’S POV

It’s him. Taron; The guy who constantly made my heart race, the guy who broke my heart 7 years ago, standing few centimeters away from me as he regards me with an expression that I can’t decipher: Shock, maybe? He looks so pale that I almost think it’s a ghost he is seeing and not me.

I’m not gonna lie, He still looks as beautiful as we were young, but more matured. He was a dashing, handsome young man. Now, he has a gym honed physique and muscles wrought from iron. He has a buzzed cut hair and gimlet eyes. His pinched-in cheekbones rested on skin that was stretched tight by exercise. And god, his jaw. He has a marble jaw that is rugged and masculine, speckled with manly, peppered stubble. His shoulders are sculpted in a most defined way and has a barrel chest. 

No, he has gotten even more beautiful.

I face the backyard again, you’re supposed to be mad and plotting your escape, not ogle on him. I’m considering the idea of jumping off the railings just to get away with him. I opt to escape by the door but he won’t let me get through it. I want to smack my head a million times for coming up in here. This was his favorite place back then aside from the living room, his bedroom, and the kitchen. I used to find him in here when I can’t look for him anywhere. This part of the house was his escape from the world.

“Please Y/N.” He says, blocking the way. He closes the door and takes a step forward to me. His eyes are full of sadness, like a ukulele that produces broken sounds and not that relaxing tones.

“Please.” He repeats, touching me. I yank my hand out of his grasp. His touches are burning. I could almost hear the hissing sound it makes as it burns the area where he had touched.

“Do not touch me.” I say. There is an edge in my voice.

He hangs his head down, putting his hands into his pockets with a resigned expression. I back away from him and sit on one of the chairs. I watch him sit down on a chair by the door. We stay quiet for a couple of minutes. None of us are uttering any single word. The air is so thick I could cut it with a knife. The silence is embracing us in a way that it feels cold suddenly. He begins by saying the words I’ve always wanted to hear but never wanted to at the same time.

“I’m sorry.” His voice soft.

I slowly move my head to the side where he is sitting and regard him carefully. He is not looking at me, he is just sitting there staring into space.

I laugh sardonically, “If your ‘sorry’ could fix everything, I wouldn’t have been in such a shit state for 7 fucking years. 7 fucking years, Taron. I was miserable and kept thinking what went wrong I had to see you with a girl on your bed! I hold that fucking bed close to my heart and you chose to fuck a bimbo like it was a bed in a cheap motel! Fuck you!” I was now raging, fuming, and crying. I hope there will be none listening to us downstairs. I doubt.

He runs his hands on his face up to his hair as he rests on his nape, linking his fingers together. “I didn’t know what came over me that time. I was bored and-“ I cut him off, my voice going an octave higher.

“You were bored?!” I want to punch him in the fucking face. “What a fucking valid reason you got there, buddy. “I was bored”! I fucking like it! You could do better than that!” I yell, my anger building up. I smack his shoulder a couple of times as I release all the anger I’ve stayed hidden for the past years. I actually see red I am so infuriated with him. He didn’t fight me as I’m making his damn arm a punching bag. All he does is protect himself from the blows I give him and cry. I know he is not crying because I’m physically hurting him. He’s crying how much this hurts him.

“Y/N, Please-“ he turns to me as he sobs.

“I hate you.” I seethe.

He is crying so hard that he chokes. I’ve seen him like this when his best friend died from a car accident. I’ve never seen him cry again like that until this happened. He kneels on my side as he begs me.

“Please, Y/N. Just hear me out…” He pleads. I look at him as he catches his breath before, his head down. He wipes his nose with shirt and looks up at me. I look away, my eyes release fresh tears before he starts, “I wasn’t even thinking that time. I was really bored. I got a text from an unknown number, said she was an old friend from my old school and told me she got my number from Nikolai. She told me she just needed a friend because her boyfriend broke up with her…” His hiccup stops him, then he continues again, “And then we’ve talked it out over a few drinks. We both got drunk. She was touchy. I tried to stop her and told her that I have a girlfriend but she wasn’t having it. And that’s when you saw us in our room.” He says, his voice low and resigned.

I cannot wrap all the information in my head. My eyes keep releasing tears, making my vision blur. I didn’t say anything. Just keep my head straight and stare into nothing. The laughs below us filling my ear. The happy sounds that it makes is trying to embrace us both, but the sadness is keeping us away from it. I clench my fist. Taron must have seen it because he winces as he starts to back away from to give him another angry blow. But I didn’t. I just silently weep.

“Believe me Y/N. It was all a mistake. I didn’t want her. After that happened, I blamed Nikolai for everything. You have to believe me please…” He sobs again. He hangs his head down as he kneels. He looks so vulnerable. I want to hug him and tell him everything is okay now. I want to but I can’t.

He starts again, “I haven’t had a girlfriend for years now, I did but it only lasted for three months. I kept thinking about you. You’re constantly on my mind. Always have, always will. I love you, please forgive me…”

And then I’m lost. It’s like someone have slapped me and tell me that I need to believe him. Like I’m suddenly unfettered by the antediluvian anger that I have always been keeping. I realized that I still love him. That I have always been craving for his touch.  

I watch him weep. His body is trembling from crying too much. He looks up at me, regards with such sadness and hope in his eyes. A complex mixture of green and blue with a speckled of gold in his eyes to match with my eye color. A silent plead that he’s telling me through his eyes that he wants to take me back again.  

A single tear run down his beautiful face and I wipe it my thumb. He shivers and lets out a shaky breath. He starts crying again.

“Oh god, Y/N. Oh my god.”  He sobs out.

I kneel down in front of him and pull him by the shoulders. He reacts immediately and wraps his strong, bulky arms around my waist, clinging tightly to me.

“I’m so sorry baby… I’m really sorry…” He says in between cries. I run my hand on his back as my other one is on his hair. Gently coaxing him.

“I’m sorry too. I know I should have done this a long time ago. I was really mad and hurt. I needed this talk, we both needed this.” I kiss the crown of his head. He pulls away and holds my face in his hands. We stare at each other for a split second, drinking each other’s features.

He really looks so damn beautiful. His face has gotten more matured. The old Taron I used to like had more baby fats in his body. His features weren’t defined and his muscles were just starting to form. I wipe the tears on his eyes as he does the same to me. He laughs as he reaches for the collar of his shirt to wipe his nose and sniffs afterwards.

He fishes something in pocket and hands me his handkerchief to wipe my nose. I wipe my nose like what he did, in a most unlady like way. I look at him and he’s watching me with an amused expression. We start laughing together. After that, He smiles sweetly at me.

That sweet smile that I love, still has an effect on me. I move closer to him and reach hands up to run my fingers along his stubble. It’s rough and gritty. I can’t wait to feel that on my legs.

I smile and giggle at myself. He smiles at me, flashing his perfect set of white teeth. “What were you thinking?” He asks quietly.

“That I should’ve done this a long time ago and I missed you.” I run my thumb along his bags and on his eyebrows. He closes his eyes at my touch. Then he says, “I miss you too baby.” He opens his eyes, it went down on my mouth then back to my eyes again.

“We’re supposed to be kissing now.” I say as I link my fingers to his neck.

“I know.”

“So kiss me.”

He shakes his head.

“Why?” I frown.

“Because,” he explains. He kisses the tip of my nose before he continues, “I will kiss you when the clock strikes at 12.” He bites his bottom lip.

I roll my eyes as I let out a chuckle, “You haven’t changed.”

He scoffs, “I have changed a lot.” He flexes his biceps in front of me and I giggle. He chuckles shortly before dropping his arm back down and sighs, “But my feelings for you haven’t changed.” He leans in to kiss my forehead. “I love you and I missed you, Y/N. So much. You don’t even know how long I have been waiting this day to come.” I smile at him as I blush deeply.

“I never thought that this day would come. It sounds ridiculous how I have mentioned how much I hate you moments ago.” He features suddenly becomes sad, he looks down on his lap. I lift his chin up and smile sweetly at him. I continue, “And I realized how stupid I am for not giving you a chance to explain everything, I also realized how much I still love you.” I’m so fucking tempted to kiss him but I also like his idea of kissing at 12, so I opt for the best and kiss his cheeks.

He smiles at me and regards me with pure adoration in his eyes, just looking at me like he can’t believe what is happening. He then breaks the silence, “Shall we go downstairs?” He asks sweetly.

I nod.

He stands up and offers his hand to me. As soon as I’m on my feet, he pulls me in a tight embrace. I wrap my arms on his waist and kiss his chest, where his heart lies. He sighs and kisses my hair.

He pulls away and links his fingers to mine. “Let’s go downstairs.” I clutch his hand tightly as go down and deal with his guests.  Chloe would probably go nuts when she sees us together. And I was right with my intuitions.

She is standing at the end of the stairs, talking to a brawny looking guy and to Nikolai. I also spot my brother talking to them, which surprises me because I didn’t know that he was coming. After all we didn’t go together. Chloe whips her head at the top of the stairs and takes a double look at us.

She starts shrieking when she sees us coming down the stairs, calling the attention of people around her and start regarding us with such curiosity. I hide on his side and he unlatches his fingers from mine. He hugs my side as I start to hide my face on his armpit and grips my hand on his waist. I sense that Taron rolls his eyes dramatically because he tells his sister to shut the fuck up (what a sweet relationship they have, yeah?). I lift my head to look at the people in front of me: Chloe, who is looking at us with pure happiness and disbelief, Nikolai who is grinning at us, my brother who is somewhat smirking and smiling, and the brawny looking guy with… I don’t know. He just looks at us with a what’s going on expression. Taron greets him though by giving him a manly handshake. He introduces me to him and I find out his name is Tommy.

Our group has had a little bit of a chat before someone yells around the house that the countdown is about to start. We gather ourselves in the living room and prepare for the countdown. Taron whips me softly to face him.

He is staring at me, not like the he-is-undressing-me-kind-of look but the kind of look like you’re the only person he only sees and as if the world has stopped moving. Though the temperature in the room is somewhat between crisp and warm, I’m sweating. His eyes examine every corner of my face, as if memorizing every part of it and inscribe it on his brain.

Then he breaks into a toothy and most disarming smile. I smile back at him, matching his smile and he tucks a strand of hair in my ear. He envelops me in a tight hug and kisses my cheek.

“Y/N… Baby…” He says to my ears, “This is the happiest night of my life. There’s no rush, but I want you to know that your forgiveness is what really matters to me. I’m really sorry for what I did, I really am baby. And I want you to know that all these years, it has always been you. No one else, just you.” He confesses.

I pull away, but I don’t break the hug just so I can look into his face. So fucking beautiful, I thought. He has the makings of a good Hollywood actor, or a model. A fine figure, fierce eyes that could bore into your soul. A beautifully sculpted face (don’t get me started on that beautiful face, I’m telling you). Also, did I tell you he has a good voice too? He doesn’t let anyone hear his voice, it’s ridiculous. I don’t know why.

I badly want to kiss him. His lips are so inviting, I want to feel his lips on mine again after all those years. I want to feel that longing after we pull apart; the need to touch him, run my fingers through his hair as he speaks sweet nothing through my follicles. I want to feel the boy again who swept me off my feet by accident and made an interesting history together.

When will this countdown starts?

He sways our body from side to side. I leave a trail of kiss to his chin up to his jaw, pressing my lips on his cheeks as it reaches there. I peck it twice, just to contain myself and to just show my respect for his cheesy idea. “Baby…” I start, kissing centimeters away on the side of his mouth (can you blame me?!) “We may have gone through a rough patch. I may have told you not so nice things. I may have tried to push away all my feelings for you, tried to hide it and constantly reminded myself to hate you, but I was wrong. The moment I saw you upstairs, how sincere you are, how sorry you are, how much you still love me after all, I realize that I love you. And it has always been you Taron.” I pull away to look at his expression.

He looks like he’s about to cry. I don’t want to make him cry again. Enough crying for this night. So I pinch his cheeks and stretch it out on his face as we both laugh. And the countdown begins.

“10!” the crowd begins to shout happily and excitedly.

Taron pulls me by the waist, his stares are getting more intense by each millisecond.

“9!”

“Are you ready?” He smirks right back at me.

“8!”

I roll my eyes and scoff, “I’ve never been more ready.” He grazes my cheek with his thumb and smile.

“7!”

We watch each other as we wait for the countdown. Our stares are getting more intense each millisecond passes. He says, “Here’s to good new memories and experiences.”

“6!”

“Here’s to good new memories and experiences.” I repeat, smiling, linking my fingers to his neck.

“5!”

I watch Taron licks his bottom lip in an achingly slow pace. I absentmindedly bite my bottom lip as he unintentionally makes a mess in me.

“4!”

He pulls me closer to him, his hands on my waist.

“3!”

“Happy new year, baby.” He smiles, grazing his fingers on the side of my face.

“2!”

“Happy new year, Taron.” I say, moving towards to each other even more closer, filling the gap between us.

“1!” we both lean in, our faces centimeters apart, waiting for the crowd’s go signal.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

And with that, our lips finally meet. I melt into the kiss. My knees go weaker the time he enters his tongue in my mouth. Our lips move slowly. There is no rush, it’s as if we’re savoring the time and moments we have missed when we were both apart. I sigh into the kiss, making me relaxed than ever. All my angers and pent up frustrations to him dissipates into the thin air. Our lips are moving in open lips with some tongue interplay. It’s sweet, hot, and passionate. I run my fingers to his smooth, soft hair, and he moans. His tongue invades my mouth as he presses me close to his body. He kisses me deeply and so passionately that it’s making me hard to breathe. I feel like I’m floating in the air, so overwhelmed.

We have clearly drowned out the sounds of the cheers of the people who are happily welcoming the year, clearly forgetting the fact the we are not alone. Until we both feel that someone bumps us intentionally and as we pull away from our kiss, we see that Chloe is squealing in delight. Seconds later, my brother follows and envelops us in a tight group hug and that make us all groan.

As my brother releases us all, Chloe starts jumping and clapping like a kid who got a candy, “I’m so happy!” She squeals again, “Happy new year guys!”

Taron kisses her sister on the cheek as he hugs her. I do the same thing to my brother. I thanked him for everything, for making me happy when I’m sad and for knocking at my door when he’s “fucking bored” (according to him) and we’ll go out to get something to binge eat as we watch endless tv series. He coos at me and kisses my temple. “I love you, sis.” He says. I tear slips from my eyes. He laughs and pinches my cheek.

I asked him when did he got here, since I travelled by myself to get here. He told me he got the last trip at the train station after he got off from his work half day. I interrogate him and ask him how come he still has work when it’s the holiday season. I asked him if he went to see this girl he has been seeing, Rebekah. he shrugs and smirks, earning a side way glance from me. And we both burst out laughing. It’s all good.

I hug Chloe as tightly as I can. I thank her a million times. For when she’s there when I needed her. When I was a miserable shit and she was there listening to me as I cry. For not questioning my anger against Taron, for countless times that I had spewed all the nastiest words I could think of to his brother. I know she should have, but she knows what I had been going through. But she lets me. I thank her for all the times when we had, from then up to now. For being a good best friend in a whole wide world.

She thanks me for choosing her to be my best friend when there are tons of other girls in our neighborhood to share all my secrets with and bond over everything. Silly, silly girl. So I pinch her bum and did the same to me. And we both burst out laughing. It’s all good.

I turn myself to the pretty boy standing next to me. My brother and Chloe must have sensed that we need this moment, so they both scramble off to their feet and give us the time we need.

I press my lips to him. He leans in again and presses his after I pull away. We stay there like that.

“I promise to love you no matter what. To be there when you need me. I promise, I promise, I promise to be faithful to you, if you will give me another chance. I won’t ever blow this again.” And then he seals it with a kiss.

I smile, “I also promise to be there when you need me. And if I give you another chance, I promise to listen to you when you’ve got something to say.” I say as I graze his top lip. “Cheers to the new chapter.”

He smiles, his eyes crinkle. “Cheers to the new chapter.”

I peck his lips. “Shall we start partying now?” I ask him, giggling.

He links his fingers with mine and dance our way to the new chapter of our rekindled relationship.

It’s all good.

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Part 2? Yes? ;)