#and wrap it up in a reasonable amount of time - like 5 chapters max | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

landinoandco · 3 years ago

Text

|Shutter Speed|

Chapter three : A hunger for comfort and affection

{Lando Norris x reader}

Summary: A photographer. A pair of F1 drivers. Triangles. A sticky situation of morals and fighting fate. What could go wrong?

Warnings: a hint to mature themes but only of you squint

Word count: 2.5 k

A/n: Here is chapter three of Shutter Speed, like last chapter if you would like to be added in the taglist drop me a message or comment :) enjoy

Previous chapters: Chapter one, Chapter two

“Oh Maisie.” Georgie cried, “It was the most embarrassed I think I’ve been in my entire life.” She took a long sip of her wine as she slouched into the sofa, the tv playing the medal ceremony of the England vs Italy game - Italy taking the victory.

Maisie wrapped her arm around Georgie’s shoulders, “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” She said softly.

“Not that bad.” Georgie screeched, her wine splashing slightly over Maisie’s legs. Hastily, Georgie tried to wipe it off, Maisie chuckled and pushed her hands away. “What I mean to say is, I’m sure Lando didn’t think anything of it.” Maisie corrected herself, shaking her head at Georgie’s apologetic glance.

“Maisie, I stood there like a fish.” She imitated a fish opening and closing its mouth.

“Take me through what happened again-”

“I’m Lando Norris. I drive for McLaren. As it turns out, you and I are about to attend the same meeting.”

Georgie stopped in her tracks, “You mean to say, we are now colleagues.”

Lando’s face dulled and he furrowed his eyebrows. “I suppose we are. Yes.” The pair stood awkwardly, Lando’s hand placed behind his neck looking up at the sky whilst Georgie had found something very interesting on the floor.

“Well I suppose I should-” Lando started as Georgie braved to look up.

“Yes, yeah, wouldn’t want to be late” She forced a chuckle, going to walk forward when they remembered - they were heading in the same direction.

Maisie cringed as her best friend recounted the story. “So what happened after that?”

“That’s when I bumped into you…”

Lando had given up trying to make small talk about 5 minutes ago - whatever he thought was there was now gone; for some reason he just couldn’t break the awkward air that seemed to be stuck to them. He looked over to her, face furiously red and her expression hardened. He swung his arms by his side and kissed his teeth - she made no reaction. Georgie was trapped in a battle of her own thoughts, she was sure there was a connection between the two of them; something she had wanted to act on but now… She looked behind her, in hopes of finding it strewn on the ground.

“There you are, Georgie.” A voice called out, immediately the girl’s face snapped up and she seemed to let out a sigh of relief. Hurt flashed Lando’s face but she didn’t seem to notice. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” Her words trailed off as she motioned towards Lando.

“Maisie, meet Lando - he drives for McLaren.” Georgie introduced Lando, stepping closer to him. Lando raised his hand up in acknowledgement, smiling warmly at Maisie. “Lando, meet Maisie - she’s my business partner.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Maisie said, opening up her arms to go to hug him. Lando accepted, wrapping his arms awkwardly around Maisie. Once she had returned to where she was standing before, she said: “Suppose it won’t be the last time we see you either.” She winked at Georgie.

Maisie clicked her fingers, “Oh yes, I remember now. So that’s why it felt so awkward walking up to you.” Maisie set her wine down and moved to face Georgie, a pained expression still painted onto her face. “Did you at least get his number?”

“As a matter of fact-”

Max Fewtrell looked at his watch for the fifth time in the space of 30 seconds. They were going to be late for the football match. He shook his head, scoffing at the irony of Lando priding himself in his punctuality. It wasn’t until he looked up that he realised Lando was only a few feet away from him, ambling slowly and staring at something in his hands. “Lando, mate. We’re going to be late” Max called out, however this wasn’t enough to break Lando out of his trance.

Storming up to him, it was only when Max was about to poke him that Max stopped and stared as well. In Lando’s hand appeared to be a business card.

“Why have you got a-” Max squinted at the cursive name at the top. “The little moments- what-” Confused was one word to describe how Max was feeling, so much so he almost forgot why he was so urgent for them to leave.

“I - uh - I met a girl.” Lando stammered, still staring at the card, his forehead furrowed.

“And that’s why you have a business card? Lando, football!” Max prompted, rolling his eyes and made to move forward when Lando added: “I think this was her trying to give me her number.”

Max turned back to face Lando, his face lit up, “What?” He chortled. Whatever trance Lando was in, he seemed to snap out of it and pocketed the card.

“You’re right, let’s get going.” Lando walked past Max, who was standing staring after Lando, completely dumbfounded.

“But - what!” Max followed hurriedly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Was she pretty?”

“Very.” Lando said.

“You gave him your business card?” Maisie doubled over in laughter, Georgie stared at her unamused.

“Well, if it wasn’t for you I would have given it to him like a normal person but you insisted on dragging me out of the Marquee.” Georgie quipped sharply.

“In my defence, we were going to be late for the-”

The pair looked at Georgie’s phone as it lit up and began to shriek the theme tune of ‘Downton Abbey.’ After Maisie’s incredulous look, Georgie went to pick it up, muttering under her breath: “I can’t work out how to change it back - don’t give me that look.”

The number wasn’t one she recognised, she picked up anyway, scrunching up her face. “Hello.”

“Hi.” A breathless voice replied, Georgie recognised the voice but she couldn’t quite place who. She must have stayed silent for longer than she intended because the caller added, “It’s Lando. Lando Norris.”

“Lando? Hey.” She stood up, her voice instantly softening. “How are you?” There was a beat of silence.

“I’m sorry I don’t know why I called-” Lando stuttered apologetically, Georgie felt her heart sink. She repeated herself, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. “Are you alright?”

“I - no. I just - I needed to - There was an incident and I’m on my own but-” Georgie cut him off, “Lando, where are you.” Her tone was now serious, Maise mouthed ‘what’s wrong.’ She replied by holding up her finger as if to indicate ‘one minute.’

“I’m at my house.” He replied simply, he sounded tired and in shock.

“Do you want me to come over?” Georgie asked, her heart in her throat - it was only a moment ago he apologised for calling her. Maisie stood up, throwing her hands in the air, mouthing: “what are you doing?” There was another beat of silence, she could hear his breathing, he was trying to steady it.

“Yes. Please. I’ll text you the address.” He swallowed thickly, just like Georgie, he wasn’t sure what made him call her or - even more - say yes to her coming over. It was like there was someone speaking for him, controlling all of his actions concerning her. He didn’t understand it. Lando had only learnt her name that afternoon but it felt like he had known her for months - their little coffee shop sighting felt like years ago.

After he hung up, he ran his hands through his hair. His heart was still beating as though he was about to race. He had already called Charlotte and explained everything that had just gone down after the match, he had told her that he wasn’t alone and that he had good company. Technically he wasn’t lying because good company was about to arrive. Lando wasn’t sure how long he sat in that position for, the silence of his house felt deafening until the doorbell broke his thoughts. He opened it to an anxious looking Georgie, holding the unopened bottle that her and Maisie were about to start on. “I brought us a bottle.” Lando cracked a smile, opening the door wider so she could come through.

“I’m not normally allowed but I think Jon will let me off.” He muttered, closing the door behind her. Before he could say another word, she had wrapped her arms around his neck - “You looked like you needed a hug.” He could just about make out. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer into him. In that moment of vulnerability he told her what had happened at Wembley and she responded by placing her hands on either side of his face: “You’re definitely in need of that drink then.”

It was some time later and they were both sitting on the floor, leaning against the sofa in his living room, bottles of different sorts of wine sat empty on the glass table and Georgie was having to hold onto his shoulder to stop herself from falling over. Lando had just recounted a rather funny story - in hindsight it was probably only funny because of the amount of alcohol that they had consumed. Georgie had gotten drunk before, she was the type of drunk that never stopped talking but with Lando, all she wanted was to be close to him; as demonstrated by her holding onto his shoulder as soon as he said anything remotely funny, leaning across his body to reach for the wine. What she wasn’t aware of was the effect this was then having on Lando. He was completely in awe of Georgie, her ability to come in and sweep him off of his feet - he felt as though he could completely relax in her presence, as though nothing else mattered when she was there. He craved the warmth she was offering him, she wasn’t like all of the other girls Jon scolded him for meeting. Georgie was just as nervous and naive as he was - they both loved and craved the idea of comfort and affection from another human that wasn’t platonic but neither of them had any clue how. Perhaps it was more the fact that neither of them had met anyone yet that silently understood the troubles and tribulations that had led them to his point.

They were at peace with their thoughts, the alcohol fogging any sort of rationality. Lando looked over at Georgie, a content and easy smile sat effortlessly on her lips and a tinge of pink flushed on her cheeks. He shuffled closer to her so their shoulders were pressed against each other, “I’m glad I called you.” It was almost like the words shocked him as they came out of his mouth, as though he was airing his thoughts for the first time. The smile on her face only grew, Georgie moved her face closer to his so she could see every freckle and dimple and blemish. It was the first time she realised how beautiful he was - from the way his curls fell lopsided onto his forehead to his constant licking of his lips in an attempt not to shy away. She brought her thumb to his face, brushing it delicately.

“Eyelash.” She explained, his gaze transfixed on hers, he wrapped his hand around her wrist and blew the eyelash away. “Did you make a wish?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I did.” Lando answered, his hand still wrapped around her wrist, his touch burning Georgie’s skin. He inched his face closer to hers, his breath fanning across her face. She braved a look at his lips, tearing away from the battle they had once again found themselves in. “What did you wish for?” She asked, her lips brushing his.

“If I told you - ” He began, releasing her wrist from his touch and instead tucking a loose strand of her back behind her ear. “It wouldn’t come true.”

Their lips still hadn’t touched, millimeters separated them, their noses brushing as though they were the first to give in. It was like they were daring each other to make the first move, who was going to be the first one to break. Every nerve in Georgie’s body was telling her to close the distance - it felt right. It would certainly make up for that afternoon’s display. She knew that he had no obligations to kiss her and she knew that the hand now resting on her cheek was inviting her - almost taunting her.

“Lando-” She pulled her head away, his hand falling limply to his side. Georgie squeezed her eyes shut, hating herself instantly.

“I know.” He whispered, looking down at the floor.

There were many reasons why Georgie pulled away. The main fear that both of them had mutually agreed on was that if she had closed the distance and if she had kissed him - all self control on either side was gone and there was no stopping the inevitability of all mature relationships. It was something that - whilst both were desperate for - now wasn’t the time and it would lead to a series of unfortunate events neither of them wanted.

“It’s getting late.” Lando grumbled, getting up from the floor. He wasn’t mad at Georgie because he knew it was the right thing - he felt it himself but he was also aware of the large part of him that wanted to indulge, to forget about any consequences and enjoy the raw connection that they had found.

“Yes, you’re right.” Georgie felt a pang of guilt in her chest, as he refused to meet her eye. She stood there frozen, unsure where to go or what to do. “I’ll go call an uber.” She muttered, excusing herself.

“Wait-” Lando called out to her, “Stay.”

Georgie looked at him, confusion etched on her face. Lando took a step towards her, his jaw tightened. He knew come morning he was probably going to regret what he was about to do, it was like he was teasing himself - setting himself up for another heartbreak. But this time it had to be different. It had to be.

“Please, I don’t think I want to be alone.” It was raw emotion talking and a new side to Lando that Georgie didn’t think she would ever see. She knew come morning she was going to regret what she was about to say, it was like she was leading herself down a hole that in the end she wasn’t going to be able to get out of.

“Ok.” She gave a half smile and reached for Lando’s hand.

That night they stayed in each other's arms. Relishing in the comfort they gave to one another, both wishing that tomorrow would never come.

Taglist:

@mjuikoli @httplayer @phatyak

108 notes · View notes

jeonjeonggukenergy · 5 years ago

Text

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut - college!au

wordcount ~ 8.5k

warnings ~ 18+ only! smut, explicit discussion of kinks/sexual preferences (yay healthy communication), dom/sub undertones during both discussion and sex (dom Jungkook, sub reader), mentions of daddy kink and degradation but both are a no, marking, biting, hair pulling, spanking, they both have a srs pain kink lmao, brief oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, creampie

a/n ~ SO excited to finally have this chapter out for yall! it’s a huge one and i’ve been working on it for quite a while, this includes the first full smut scene for this fic and i would love to know how yall like it or any other feedback. i really enjoyed writing the character development in this chapter too! they’re so cute and whipped for each other already hhhhhh. thank you so much for loving this story so far, i’m really looking forward to writing the rest. hope you enjoy! ❣️

previous: chapter 1 | chapter 2 ~ next: chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 3 ~ particular, perfect

You concluded your walk home by ditching your shoes at the door, swinging your bag off your shoulders to the floor, and plopping down onto the couch immediately. Pulling all three nearby blankets over yourself, you realized you still weren't quite comfortable. You looked around for a second, puzzled, until an absentminded clutch of your boobs reminded you why. Triumphantly, you reached into a sleeve to untangle your bra and chucked it across the room with a deep stretch of relief. Okay, time to overthink again.

Jungkook? What the fuck?

Wait. A bag of chips on the kitchen counter caught your eye before you could descend any further into panic. The perfect emotional crutch. You clutched it to your chest like a safeguard against your own internal monologue, anxiously shoving handful after handful into your mouth. After about thirty minutes spent motionless on the couch with one hand shoved in the chip bag and the other distractedly scrolling through Twitter, your eyes suddenly widened and your hand froze, dropping your next bite of chips back into the bag. Fuck. You had just eaten nearly an entire family-size bag of chips before what could end up being your first fuck in over a year. Well, maybe this was part of why you hadn't gotten fucked in over a year. No, don't go there. You shoved down your own insecurity, knowing you'd just been too busy for a relationship and honestly, probably still were. But that wasn't going to stop you today.

You shook the chip dust off of your hands and got up to head to the shower, turning up your trashiest throwback playlist of getting-ready bops and resolving to at least shave your legs. Going in with no expectations was probably the best strategy here, but it never hurt to be prepared.

Having cleaned his apartment in record time, Jungkook was now at the gym. After triple-checking that his roommate Jin would be in rehearsal until 10pm at the earliest, he quickly scanned all the common spaces and his bedroom and realized he didn't actually have that much work to do besides politely closing the door to Jin's still-decent-but-somewhat-messier room. To be honest, Jungkook had mainly bought himself the time after class so he could shave just in case. But then he figured if he had to shower, he might as well hit the gym first. So here he was, burning off an unprecedented amount of nervous energy. Settling comfortably into the leg curl machine, he turned his music up and started on a low weight to put in reps until his thighs burned and his head felt pleasantly empty.

After completing his normal leg day rotation and dutifully stretching, Jungkook prepared to head home. He walked out of the gym feeling more energized and centered, barely even flinching when he switched his AirPods off to say bye to the nice girl at the front desk and the action accidentally blasted "Whistle" by Flo Rida from his phone speaker for the whole lobby to hear. As he walked back into his apartment, the kitchen clock let him know it was only 4:30. He had plenty of time. Jungkook hopped straight into the shower, shampooing his hair, shaving everywhere he normally did, and savoring several extra moments to relax his muscles under the hot stream of water. Finally, he toweled off to wrap up in the black t-shirt and cozy matching sweatpants he'd carefully stacked on the counter. Offhandedly singing to himself in the steamy mirror, he checked the time on his phone, deciding he might as well go ahead and text you before he got nervous again and did something stupid. Like chickening out completely.

hey its jk! im ready when u are :) my apt is 344 glencoe rd #1521 (yes its on the 15th floor sry D: )

His charming old-school smileys lit up your phone while you still had a leg perched on the bathtub's edge.

"Fuck!" you reacted. The hiss resounded, thanks to the too-good acoustics of your cramped bathroom. Your razor clattering to the floor, you paused your max-volume 2000s music to check the message, and then the time. Only 5! That wasn't dinnertime yet. Plugging his address into Google Maps, though, you realized it was a 15- to 20-minute drive from yours on the opposite end of campus. Even if you got ready at light-speed, you would get there closer to 5:30. Which was a bit more reasonable. He was being reasonable! You should be ready by now!

You leaned over to pick up your razor and cursed again as the water stream grazed the blouse you'd left on out of laziness. You'd showered this morning, so there was no need to repeat that with your shave, but now you'd have to change outfits completely. Feeling like an idiot, naked from the waist down but now all the way wet, you peeled the shirt over your head slowly to preserve your good hair day and glanced down at the dilemma you'd been facing. The patch of hair between your legs stared back at you like the final boss of stupid societal beauty standards. You'd only shaved down there once, as an anniversary present for your first boyfriend the summer before college, and it had been a fun, smooth novelty for about two hours and then itchy, red, gross-looking, and miserable for about three weeks. Also, it had kind of made you feel like a little girl, which creeped you out when you thought about why guys would prefer it. You'd been debating whether to try it again for the past fifteen minutes, because if there was ever a right time, this was probably it. But now you didn't have time, if you were going to be respectful and not keep Jungkook waiting. Well, this was the real you. He could take it or leave it.

Slathering a quick coat of lotion over your freshly shaved legs, you prepared to get dressed in a soft pastel sweatshirt and a flattering pair of workout shorts. Wait, should you wear lingerie? Was that too try-hard? You didn't really even need to wear underwear with these lined shorts, which could be a cool-girl move, you supposed. You settled on a cute white sports bra to go with the shorts, not wanting to deal with a real bra and hoping it still appealed to Jungkook's casual, athletic style. You checked yourself in the mirror briefly before grabbing your bag, confirming you looked chill enough but still felt like your best color-coordinated self. Heading out, you shoved a tin of chrysanthemum green tea in your water bottle pocket. Why not?

You whizzed over to Jungkook's apartment, yelling along to "Sex With Me" by Rihanna from your throwback playlist to hype you up in the car. When you knocked on his door after a nerve-wrackingly long elevator ride, Jungkook welcomed you with a "C'mon in!" amidst a mouthful of shrimp chips.

"It's not really dinnertime yet," (yeah, no kidding, you thought) "I went ahead and worked out but it's still kind of early, so I figured we could just have a snack and do the homework first."

"Sounds good," you affirmed. "I'm not really that hungry," (read: there's no way I can eat chips AGAIN right now, I'm going to bloat so badly) "but I brought tea so I can go ahead and make that if you want some too!"

"Oh cool, thanks!" Jungkook accepted. "Are you sure you're not hungry though?"

You almost gave into his sweet pout, but managed to convince him, and soon you both sat at the table with laptops open and twin cups of tea. You had a blast working together for the first time, acting out your "conversation" for the discussion board and pretending to respond spontaneously to each other's points like you hadn't already excitedly rambled back and forth through them in real life. You hit "send" five minutes apart, your idea to not seem too suspicious, and kept raving over Rear Window in between. As the sun lowered outside his living room window, you moved on to making the ramen.

After three offers to help Jungkook, all of which he denied, you simply made another steep of the tea, leaving a mug on the counter for him. Standing at the bar counter sipping yours, you enjoyed all the tiny, cute noises he made while chopping green onions and sprinkling extra garlic in the seasoning, like an anime character who came with his own sound effects. You could tell he made these recipe additions every time, because bulk quantities of the same simple ingredients lined the counters of his cozy kitchen. When he beat two eggs and dropped them into the pot, though, he couldn't seem to find a lid, and eventually settled on trapping the steam with a plate. You both waited on the egg for a silent moment, your foot bouncing under the bar while Jungkook restlessly acquired a slight wiggle. As he took a sip of his tea, a strand of hair fell over his eyes, and he yeeted it out of his face. Your inner language nerd cringed, but there really was no more apt word to describe the action.

You offhandedly said you liked his hair long, and he replied with a smile, "Maybe I'll have to keep it then."

"Do you like it too?" you wondered.

"Honestly no, it's kind of inconvenient."

"Oh, then why would you keep it?" you immediately asked back.

"Well..." he dragged out. "You like it? Maybe I should keep it if it looks better this way."

Your eyes crinkled appreciatively at his thoughtfulness, but then you backtracked. "Wait, no, it's okay! If you don't like it, don't feel like you have to keep it just because of something I said. You can do whatever you want."

"Hm, yeah." A demure smile tugged up the corner of his mouth as he lifted the plate from the ramen pot.

You watched him drag a chopstick through the floating, now-cooked egg to tear it into ribbons, then divide the noodles between two generously-sized bowls. He carefully wiped down the drips of broth from each bowl before sprinkling in his fresh toppings, then walked with you to the table.

Serving you with a pleased smile and a slight nod, he announced, "Dinner!"

"Wow," you mused playfully. "So gourmet."

"I'm really particular about my ramen," he admitted. "I have it down to a perfect routine at this point."

You took your first slurp of his particular, perfect ramen. "Well, it's really good. I'm impressed. And thanks for making me dinner, you didn't have to do all that."

"Oh, come on, it's instant ramen," he laughed. "Nothing special. And you brought the tea, so thanks. And thanks for coming over. And doing the homework with me. And...yeah." Rambling again. Why did he seem so...nervous? You were nervous. He couldn't be nervous. What reason did he have to be? But the twitch of his mouth under his wide eyes, his slightly reddened ears, his hand skittering over his neck—fuck—to ruffle his hair...every action turned another page of his open book. It felt infuriatingly unfair that genetics had assigned someone so sweet and shy and unsure of himself to that fucking body.

While you both ate and talked, you kept catching glimpses of any small flashes of skin you could find, as his long sleeves fell to expose his forearms and the wide neckline of his boxy black shirt gaped around his collarbones. What was wrong with you? Even if this did eventually turn into a dick appointment, the boy still had literally all of his clothes on. You tried to refocus on finishing your noodles, while your brain screamed at itself in shame that you could get this turned on by the sight of someone covered from neck to ankle.

Jungkook ate surprisingly slowly, probably because he kept pausing to excitedly explain his favorite things about the Cowboy Bebop episode you were about to watch together. You smiled into your tea through every out-of-context fun fact and "wait, sorry, that might have been a spoiler!"

Finally, he reached the bottom of his bowl and insisted on both taking your dishes to the sink and leaving them for him to clean later. "You sure you want to start on episode 2? Not 1?"

"Yeah, I remember well enough and your summary helped a lot too!"

"Okay, if you're positive!" he double-checked, grabbing the remote.

Gingerly lowering yourselves to the couch in sync, you avoided looking at each other as you both tried to calculate a comfortable distance between you. His hand looked ready to either hold yours or lower to your thigh, but he retracted at the last second, smoothing it over his own leg anxiously and still clearly itching to make a move. You shuffled closer to him until your thighs barely touched, and he shifted to slink an arm around you, letting your head rest on his well-muscled shoulder. After pressing “play”, he began wiggling slightly again, subconsciously grooving to the old-newspaper-style intro. Spike Spiegel appeared on the screen, his broad shoulders squared into a slouch as he listlessly watched TV. Jungkook kicked one leg over another and stretched his arms out symmetrically to echo the pose. Raising an eyebrow, he waited until you acknowledged him with a faux grimace and a hand to your ear, imitating the old man in a lab who’d just called up Spike for a new mission. You both burst into laughter and settled back into your former arrangement, Jungkook holding you imperceptibly tighter. Though you tried to stay staring straight ahead, wanting to genuinely appreciate the anime, you kept catching his doe eyes in the corner of your sight as you both giggled and gasped your way through the episode.

After avoiding eye contact too many times, you finally tilted your head for a cute sideways view of his face. He leaned toward you too, shyly closing the gap to touch his warm lips to your nose, then lower. You responded immediately, rolling your body with his so your chests met as he pulled you up into a full, deeper kiss. The longer you explored each other's mouths, the more Jungkook punctuated your movements with whimpers. He seemed hesitant to let his hands roam away from your face and neck, but his high, breathy moans made it clear that he was just as into this as you. Your hands had naturally found his taut waist, and at some point you started to bring them back up to his face too—but as your short nails grazed his chest, a particularly sensual, voice-cracking moan interrupted you. You drew back in slight surprise, blinking your eyes open to scan from his face to his body.

He followed your gaze, both slowly settling on the massive tent in his pants. You froze. Your breath grew heavier, confronted with evidence of his physical attraction to you, if nothing else. After regaining his composure, he laid a useless hand over his lap in a delicate attempt to distract you and brought his other hand up to tap your face lightly.

"Is this okay?"

His eyes glittered with equal parts hunger and concern.

"Yes!" you nodded, too quickly, too eagerly. "Yes, this is totally okay. Sorry if I'm being weird, I just...it's been a while." You cringed internally at your own words, but couldn't seem to avoid putting your foot further in your mouth. "I haven't really, like, hooked up like this before—like, I've had sex, but never really outside of a relationship. But don't worry, I get this is more your thing, and I'm totally down if you are. I just don't really know what I'm doing, and you clearly do."

Jungkook blinked at your admission, then his face twisted into something curious, inscrutable. Would he decide you weren't worth the potential for drama? His lips flattened out to a tight line, then pursed to speak, and you looked down at your lap, hoping he wasn't as embarrassed of you as you now were of yourself.

"Well, I've never had sex sober."

Your eyes flashed back up to his. A complex half-smirk offset the furrow in his brow as he exhaled in nervous relief. "So, I don't actually know what I'm doing here either."

You tried to delay your response as you processed the implications. "You mean..." You tilted your head for better eye contact, hoping to convey empathy but not pity while you silently contemplated how to proceed. "Never?"

"Yeah, I've always shown up to parties and the hookups just...happened. Nothing I didn't want, nothing bad like that, but always spontaneous. So I guess we're kind of meeting in the middle, because I've never really had to plan ahead for a situation like this and, uh, figure out what I want. Beyond, yknow, wanting to get laid in the moment, of course." Jungkook laughed off the end of his explanation, but the smile never quite hit his eyes.

"Well, okay, let's pause right there." You sighed. Something in his words didn't sit right with you. "What do you want? I want you to be sure about this, of course, but more than that, even—what do you like?"

"I..." he chuckled, sheepish, shaking his hair over his face again. "What, you want me to just tell you? Like, what I'm into?"

"Yeah," you shrugged, trying to project more confidence than you felt in hopes of encouraging him to keep opening up. "I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to be comfortable. And I want to know what you like, so I can make it as good for you as possible."

With your hands still laid flat on his chest, you felt his heart rate jump a tiny bit, and took the liberty of digging your nails in just slightly deeper. His breath caught him, and then he caught himself. "I don't know, I just want what you want."

Jungkook struggled to appear nonchalant as you rolled your eyes with an "Oh, come on," challenging his avoidance. Every instinct was telling him yes. He could hear his mind screaming at him to be intentional for once and let you take him, if not farther, then deeper than ever before. But he still hesitated, because being intentional in this case required him to be real. He had always been a fairly private person, but something about you made him feel so comfortable so fast that it counterintuitively made him more nervous. Of course Jungkook knew you weren't all innocent at this point, but the risk remained that you wouldn't really be down for everything he secretly wanted to explore. Even worse, though he didn't truly think you would, you could easily turn around and spin anything he revealed into yet another graphic rumor. Especially since you had no skin in the game yourself. He glanced down at your fingers, tensed into his chest, and narrowed his eyes.

"Why don't you tell me what you like first? And then I can tell you where we overlap," he grinned competitively. Your eyes widened as he tossed the challenge back your way. Not backing down, you flattened your hands and steeled yourself to settle the stakes.

"Fine—but only if you promise not to just go along with whatever I say. I'll let you know anything that's a hard no for me, but otherwise I want to hear at least one thing that's not on my list. I really do want what you want, that's how I am too, okay? So..." you paused to slide your fingertips over his collar and drag it down with a light scratch, now directly on his skin. You smiled with your eyes, enjoying the way he naturally responded with a hitch of his breath again. "Surely you can think of something specific."

He nodded quickly, before he could convince himself to back out. "Yeah. Promise."

"Okay," you confirmed, slightly nervous but determined to go through with this, for Jungkook's sake if anything. Seeing his body come alive with each new twist of the situation was building your curiosity, not to mention turning you on beyond belief. You could barely stand the warmth of his skin under your hands, so you drew them back to fold in your lap as you began. "So. Uh. To start. I've never really laid it all out like this either. I really like neck kisses? Like, a lot." Equally unused to this kind of directness, you wrung your hands together nervously, but sucked up the boldness to keep elaborating. "That's definitely, like, a big thing that turns me on...and then getting marked up and everything is really hot to me too. Like you can honestly go really rough with me on that, bite me even. I don't know if this is weird but even though it's annoying to cover up, I love taking off the makeup at the end of the day and seeing all the bruises on myself. Knowing I was walking around all day with that as my little secret." You swallowed shyly before continuing, but Jungkook interrupted the brief silence immediately with a hushed "Fuck."

You turned to face him fully and he didn't even move to meet your stare, eyeing the space above your sweatshirt's wide neckline like he was ready to devour you. Emboldened, your smile grew.

"So...yeah. I like being bitten, marked up. Mostly, uh," you rubbed a slightly trembling hand over your shoulder, "I'm just really into pain in general. Obviously not the bad 'I'm too dry and you're jackhammering me' kind of pain, or like, anal. Anal is a hard no. But things like biting, or hair pulling, or overstimulation. Or, like—I don't really know how to explain this, but...getting held too hard? That deep pain like when you get a massage when you're sore and it hurts but it's good, yknow?"

Jungkook looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin, breathing shallow and rapid. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, just in time for you to whisper in conclusion:

"I love that feeling."

You suddenly looked away, reticent. A thick silence swelled between you, until he composed himself enough to punctuate it. "Okay. Yeah. Pain. So like, BDSM?"

"I mean, kind of? Sure? I don't have much experience with that and I don't really need the whole power dynamic aspect; I just like the, uh, physical pain. I wouldn't be opposed to trying further, but one thing I do know is I really don't like being degraded. And I'm not into the whole daddy kink thing either. I'm just not gonna call you that, sorry," you laughed, and fortunately he giggled too. "But I know that's not, like, necessary to the rest of BDSM, and the part about giving up control is still...interesting, for sure."

"Wait," Jungkook cocked his head, making a mental note of your last sentence before he went back to the previous one. "What do you mean, being degraded?"

You half-chuckled, half-cringed, never having needed to explain something like this, especially to a guy you hopefully were about to fuck. Cheers to better communication, you supposed.

"You know, how some people when they do dirty talk are like 'yeah, you little slut, you're such a whore.' I don't like being called any of that. Like it's fine that other people like it, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just really uncomfortable for me."

His brows knit together as you explained, and he shook his head so fast it almost looked cartoonish, like a little kid refusing vegetables. "Yeah, no. Don't worry, not really my thing either."

You sighed in relief. "That's nice. I feel like it's, like, weirdly common with guys. Maybe just the kind of thing people learn from porn."

"But you still like it rough, huh? Did you learn that...from porn?" he half-joked, trying to overcome both his shyness and his gritted-teeth arousal.

"No, I don’t like porn. Most of it’s really unethical. I learned from experience," you sassed back. "I don't have a whole lot, but enough to know what I like."

"Well. Hm." He worked his tongue over his teeth, poking one cheek out over his tensed jaw. You couldn't get enough of watching him grow fascinated by your every revelation, and you were preparing to keep pressing further when he beat you to it, posing a question. "Is there anything you haven't tried before, but really want to?"

Your face heated up instantly, tasting your own medicine. You looked back to your hands, breaking his intense eye contact to give yourself the courage to be even more uncomfortably honest. "I...I...um." Your first attempt at disclosing your fantasy came out as a squeak. Swallowing, you set your shoulders and tried again, selfishly reminding yourself Jungkook seemed so eager to please that this was 99% likely to get you exactly what you wanted. "I've always been, uh, really into the idea of, um, getting spanked. I've been, uh, too nervous to ever bring it up, before now obviously, but it's definitely one of the biggest kinks I've always wanted to try. Maybe being tied up too, I think I'd like it if I tried but I haven't thought about that as much. But, yeah...spanking, definitely."

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

A lengthened version of Jungkook's earlier under-breath exclamation made you peer up at him. Your thighs already pressed together from the tension of admitting something totally new, you found yourself needing even more friction just from the sight of Jungkook with his head thrown back on the couch, a veiny hand threaded in his hair to pull the long waves back from his forehead. The full reveal of his sharp eyebrows brought a whole new level of intensity to Jungkook's already beautifully carved features. He glanced over at you, then squeezed his eyes shut with a terse exhale. You couldn't place why, but you felt a deep attraction to the way he expertly restrained himself from acting on the lust written over his face—not under your control, but his own.

"Oh, fuck. What the fuck. How the fuck would you fucking know," he swore more in a single burst than he cumulatively had ever in your presence.

"What?" you toyed, heart rate still high but relaxed enough to enjoy agitating him. "Something ring a bell?"

Jungkook shuddered out a long breath, hand ruffling his hair as his other forearm still tried desperately to subdue his boner.

"Everything," he hissed, more willing to elaborate now that you had done the same, and especially now that he could tell you really did enjoy him being more assertive. "Shit. I...I want...I know you said not to just say this but I really do want everything you want. I can't wait to mark you up. I can't wait to hold you down and bruise your neck. I want it all, I want to make you hurt so good. And then—" Breathless. He looked almost embarrassed. "Then you had to go and somehow guess basically my biggest fucking kink, I can't fucking believe you." Both hands had come up to seize his long locks as he held himself back physically, while finally letting his guard down mentally to declare everything he intended to do to you. Letting out a short laugh, he finally met your eyes. "I wanna spank your ass bright red. Fuck. This is crazy. You're perfect."

Your core throbbed at every bold word. Leaning in close to him, you let your lips approach Jungkook's beautifully sculpted jawline as he panted, his chin tossed up to fully expose his neck. You stopped just short of his skin, in awe of how much you'd been able to work him up and still so tempted to take it to the next level. "Fuck," you echoed. "This is so hot," you murmured almost to yourself. Your eyes closing along with his, you dealt the final blow. "I love that we have so much in common. But come on, you promised. One thing that's not on my list."

Jungkook whined. You could tell he needed to touch you so badly, and no one was stopping him but himself. He had no way of knowing that if he cut the whole discussion and just took you, you wouldn't even try to resist at this point. Staring at his trembling mouth from below, you quickly averted your eyes when he opened his, pretending you hadn't been looking. He inhaled a short hiss, and then spoke.

"Okay..." He paused after just the first word, blowing air through the tiny "o" of his mouth as his eyes bugged slightly from nervousness. He couldn't resist a challenge, though, and his urge to please you overwhelmed his reluctance to peel back one more layer. "So, the pain thing. I think we, uh, feel the same about me giving and you receiving. But...I'm really into it for myself too. I don't know if you'd be comfortable with it, I know you maybe want me to be more dominant and I think I like that more too in general, but you can be as rough with me as you want back. I'd love that." Eyes still open but fluttering, Jungkook's tone grew breathier, heady as he confessed. You almost giggled at how bashfully he worded his desire to dominate you, to rough each other up, but the contrast was so hot you couldn't help sucking your bottom lip between your teeth, eager for him to continue. His voice lowered. "I love being scratched, marked, bitten...hit me, push me back, any kind of pain or any way you can hurt me, I want it." He shivered, but his voice firmed up even further. "I want it so bad."

You fought to stay motionless beside him, unable to even process how much more his honesty had turned you on. You felt helpless in your desire for him, your craving to give him everything he wanted and more. He noticed your charged stillness and shifted toward you, removing a hand from his hair to finally reach for your face. Threading his fingers through your hair instinctively like he had with his own, he tilted your head back to access your neck. Jungkook finally felt confident enough to tease you back as he skimmed his lips over your pulse point, tugging your skin between his teeth for a gentle first taste and grinning when you moaned. Seeing someone so satisfied, for reasons better than just his body or their pride, brought the most incredible rush of blood to his head. And his other head.

"And I get why you want it too," he finished with a whisper in your ear. "So trust me when I say I really, really want to give it to you."

In an instant, your hands yanked his hair down to bring his face up to yours, mouths crashing together. Feverish, restless, you kissed him, hastily attempting to straddle his thick thighs before he threw his body over yours and pinned you to the back of the couch. His hands wandered, intrepid, from your waist to a quick squeeze of your breasts before he spiraled you into his strong arms. Pressing your chest flush with his as your mouths meshed, he ground his hips into you shamelessly, enjoying the way you struggled beneath him to align your core with his rock-hard dick.

"Your room?" You rushed out the words.

Jungkook laughed a little, his tone half whine and half dare. "So we're done talking?"

"Come on," you pleaded back. He finally relented, pulling you up with him and dragging you across the living room and through his door, lips not leaving yours for a second. You backed him into the bed with your arms against his strong chest, and once he was sitting perched on the edge, you laid yourself horizontally over his thighs.

"What are you doing?" he murmured, curling a hand over the dip of your waist to hold you gently.

You angled your head back to make unsteady eye contact with him, flipping your shorts down boldly. His free hand automatically reached to slowly conform to the shape of your ass, so eager to touch you but tentative as he grazed your curves.

"Giving you exactly what you want."

"Fuck. Really? You're sure about this?" Jungkook held careful eye contact as you brought your arms back up, crossing your wrists over your head delicately. You nodded slightly and did your best to meet his gaze with confident invitation, convincing him how much you trusted and wanted him.

He smoothed his warm hand over your ass one more time, then brought it up and watched your thighs tighten at the loss of his touch. Breathing in, still a little shakily, he brought his hand down on your right cheek with a loud but mild smack. A grunt of satisfaction involuntarily left him when he saw your face flinch down into the sheets, subduing a small noise of surprise. He returned his hand to caress the light redness he'd left, checking in with you again. "Is this okay? Let me know if I should stop."

You replied with your face still tucked between your arms, muffled by the bed. "More than okay. Please don't stop."

He spanked you again, moving to your left cheek. This time you felt his dick twitch under you and couldn't help grinding down on him a little bit. "Is that as hard as you can go?" you taunted in low tones, brave enough to egg him on but not quite enough to meet his eyes again.

Jungkook's thighs and core tensed under you, and he squeezed his fingertips tighter, digging into the skin of your ass. "Not at all," he said simply.

Deep breath. A few seconds passed, and his hand came down, harshly. You cried out in shock, the timing unexpected and the sting far sharper, and he gave your other cheek a fourth hard smack before you could even process the third one. "Harder?" he tested. "Tell me."

Another spank. "Mmmf."

"You like this, huh?"

"Yes, I told you," you whimpered back, half-teasing even though you were in no position to do so. Immediately, he cut you off with a stinging hit across both cheeks, and you moaned.

"You really do," he breathed lowly. "Fuck yeah. Take it then."

He spanked you again, and again, then paused, tugging down your shorts all the way to your ankles to expose the crease right above your thighs. Rubbing your already sore bottom, Jungkook cupped the underside of its curve in his big, firm hand. Already anticipating your whine, he drew back his touch and hummed in harmony with you. He continued landing satisfyingly hard smacks, alternating to cover your ass evenly. His dick strained through his pants more and more each time you trembled under his touch. Never hitting you hard enough to do serious damage, he still clearly enjoyed his thorough reddening of your ass, and occasionally took a moment just to caress your skin as it warmed from the spanking. The pain lit your senses up from head to toe. Face burning with deep arousal, you mentally thanked yourself for going out of your comfort zone and unprecedentedly admitting your kinks before even venturing into your first time together. Amidst the thrilling sting of his hand meeting your soft curves, Jungkook eventually noticed your thighs clenching together, craving friction but not really wanting relief from the pleasurable burn.

"You're wet," he marveled, sliding two warm fingers up and down your slit.

"Mhm," you mumbled back as you tilted your hips into his hand. He gave you a light slap right on the folds between your legs, eliciting another soft moan.

"So good for me," Jungkook said softly, pulling you up into his lap by your waist. "You look so pretty like this. I wanna see all of you." He tugged your sweatshirt over your head, followed by your sports bra, thankful that it stretched over your head easily. Suddenly grinning, he wound up and shot it across the room like a rubber band, and you smacked his arm, giggling.

"What was that? You cheeseball," you teased, and he blinked, chuckling lightly back. It occurred to him that he'd never laughed, or made someone laugh, during sex before.

"It was so stretchy! Don't make fun of me," he blushed.

"You're so cute," you said, fingers sliding under his t-shirt hem.

"Cute?" His eyebrows rose in mock disbelief, and he reached around to land another hit to your still-red asscheek.

"Hot," you amended. Raising his shirt and finally getting a full glimpse of his enviable abs, you groaned. "You're extremely hot, and also really cute, and it's kind of ridiculous and I don't really know how to handle all of it at once."

His face scrunching up into a smile at the praise, he fell back onto the bed with his arms behind his head. "You are too, you know. Really cute, of course. But really hot too." As you discarded his shirt and moved on to easing his sweatpants down his hips, you held in a gasp as his erection sprung up from the waistband. He was big, thick, and painfully hard, his tip glistening warm with precum and a lone vein running prominently up his smooth shaft. Although you wouldn't be corroborating them, you had to admit to yourself that all the rumors were true. You instinctively curled a hand around it, barely covering half his length, and he winced at your slightest touch. Pulling off with a single slow stroke, you slid his sweatpants and briefs all the way to the floor and then stood, looking up from his legs to his blown-out eyes to take in the glorious sight of his fully naked body.

"You shave," you said, surprised by the clean skin under his arms and between his legs.

"Yeah," he demurred, self-conscious for some reason. He lowered his arms to fold them over his torso, somehow defining his biceps even more. "I'm on the dance team, and it's nice to feel all smooth for practice and stuff. I don't know, I just like it."

"Oh, that's cool! No worries, I like it too. And you don't mind that..." You looked down at yourself, still just standing naked in front of him. "...I don't? Like, down there at least."

"No, you do you!" he said quickly. With a shy smile, he admitted, "I actually kind of like it on you. I do this for me, anyway, not for anyone else," he playfully noted. Slowly, he was sitting up to take hold of your waist and lower you down to the bed with him. Pausing to kiss the sweet spot under your jaw, he continued. "So don't feel like you have to do anything, or not do anything, either."

Jungkook couldn't quite explain the nature of how his attraction to you had developed. Seeing how open and honest you were with him made it easy for him to be honest with you too, and just to feel comfortable being himself. He admired the way he could still tell you sometimes got nervous like him, but it didn’t stop you from getting real or going bolder. Unable to fully express it in words, he just hoped to ensure you felt as comfortable and respected around him as he did around you. He already knew that he wanted this to be more than just a one-time thing, and while he still hesitated to assume that you felt the same, he intended to leave no doubt by the end of the night.

You moaned as he nipped at the skin of your neck. It was so easy to get swept back up in Jungkook. You could barely handle the friction of his dick rutting against your wet folds from below, craving him inside you. "Ughhh. Wait, one more thing. I'm on the pill, are you clean?"

"Yes," he gasped, barely removing his mouth from your jaw. "Are you?"

"Yeah, so we don't need a condom. If that's cool with you!"

"Yeah! But, you're ready?" He seemed surprised.

"Aren't you?" you whined, beyond holding back. He felt so unbearably hard that his coherence and willpower kind of surprised you too. "Please, I want you so bad."

To your surprise, he lowered his head to the crest of your legs, dotting wet kisses down your torso. Keeping his big brown eyes on you, he teased your entrance with a finger and echoed your immediate groan at the welcome stretch.

"You really are ready," he remarked, awed at the ease with which your wetness sucked the digit in. Frankly, you were in awe as well. It had taken your ex-boyfriend months to figure out how to get you this worked up. Jungkook either had even more experience than you'd heard from the grapevine, or he was a natural. Or maybe you were just really, ridiculously, primally attracted to him. He went on to curve his finger in you and lick a messy swipe up your folds, sucking hard once he reached your sensitive clit. You cried out at the delicious burst of stimulation and he rose up to catch your lips with his.

"I had to do that, just once," he grinned breathlessly. "But—"

"Let me suck you off," you interjected, unbelievably fucking turned on and dying to please him.

"No," he gasped with far more fervency than you'd think anyone could refuse a blowjob. "Please, I was about to say—" he choked out a high-pitched moan as you ran a single finger up his shaft in anticipation, sinking the nails of your other hand into his thigh. "—I think I'm gonna explode if I don't get inside you right this second."

So he did have a breaking point. "Fuck," you muttered, bringing your legs around his to tuck your heels under his tight ass as he lined up. He eased his tip in, keeping heavy eyes on you the whole time, and you could feel the hot, thick tension in his thighs as he struggled to hold himself back from just thrusting into your heat. Slowly, he drew closer into you until he bottomed out with a low moan. You whined at the perfect slight pain of the stretch, and Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, gripping you by your waist. Watching the veins in his forearms stand out as he drove almost all the way out and back into you, you rocked your hips carefully against his with each smooth stroke, getting used to his fullness. When his balls met your ass again, he shuddered a bit and opened his eyes into yours.

You answered his question before he could even ask it. "Jungkook—you feel so good. You can go faster, it's okay."

A smile hit his eyes before his mouth, and he kissed you once, pressing his chest to yours and intertwining your tongues eagerly. You bit his bottom lip as he slowly drew away, tugging it between your teeth to pull a sweet little whimper from his throat. Grinning, he leaned back in to touch his forehead to yours and simultaneously slid a subtle hand under your ass to curve your hips up with his. The slight leftover sensitivity of your skin amplified his light touch, and Jungkook seemed to realize this, curling his fingers to tease you with the tips of his nails. Instinctively, you ducked to bite his neck, not even registering your move to pass the pain back to him until he choked out a beautifully half-restrained moan and snapped his hips into yours. Gasping, you encouraged him to lose himself in you, dragging your lips up to latch around his earlobe. He hissed and thrust into you sharply again, meeting the time of your movements as you swirled your tongue between each of his hoop earrings. Soon he was pounding you rhythmically, finally letting you feel the full force of his strength but keeping remarkable control over both his body and yours. Both of you had gone silent except for your heavy breaths, lost in the moment, but the flexed shivers of his thighs and twitches of his fingers in your hair told you all you needed to know. Suddenly yanking your strands to pull you back from the additional bruise you'd sucked beneath his ear, he earned a new set of scratches on his back as your hands dragged down the muscular expanse in reply. Jungkook switched places with you to draw dark clouds from your skin, a storm brewing under your jaw. Your face fell into pure bliss, eyes shut and immersed in the barrage of sensation from his hands, mouth, and big dick filling you. Already feeling the familiar tension that preceded an orgasm building through your whole body, you chased him closer to his climax too, grinding back roughly into every thrust and raking your hands over every part of his firm body you could reach.

You had really been fooling yourself when you thought you could try something casual for once. You wanted more of Jungkook, all of Jungkook, nothing but Jungkook ever again. Knowing he'd never even gone back to the same hookup twice sank slight anxiety into your stomach, a kind of future nostalgia for this moment you already feared losing. You knew you weren't anything special compared to the catalogue of gorgeous girls he'd had his turn with, but a deviant voice whispered from the back of your mind that you could be, because it was clear none had bothered to learn him like this. You'd still try your desperate best not to want too much from him, but you resolved to do whatever you could to make him crave more.

Rolling your hips in a smooth circle against him, you clenched around his dick and your hands tightened their fierce hold on his tiny waist. You felt his abs tense within your grasp as he tried not to stutter into you.

"Fuck. No." His voice cracked, but held an undertone of ferocity. "You come first." Jungkook rushed a hand to your clit, adding pressure in small, deft motions with a fingertip as he kept fucking you deep. You sank your teeth into his shoulder in response, drawing your hands up his back to clutch him closer to you, and Jungkook cried out. You left your mouth on his golden skin to stifle your moans as he sped up his fingers, and he tried to let you stay there but eventually couldn't help pulling you off him to see your face. Eyes narrowed and eyebrows turning up sharp at the ends, he watched you like a hawk to track the exact moment when he pushed you over the edge. Your face crumpled and you felt your whole body burn under his gaze as you came, squeezing around him in waves of pleasure while he fucked you through your high, unrelenting. Drinking up the bliss obvious on your features, Jungkook's eyes never left yours and his expression grew more and more fucked out. You marveled at how even as you lost control and energy to fuck him back, your body freezing in orgasm seemed to turn him on further. One last pulse of the tension leaving your core made his dick throb inside you, and you impulsively broke your eye contact to lean in and bite down slow but hard on his neck again. He gasped.

"You're amazing." Murmuring into his skin, you kissed the bite marks gently. Jungkook whimpered at the sweet contradiction and lurched into your hips even harder. You recovered to move with him, squeezing him deeper into you every time he bottomed out, and as his breathless moans escalated in pitch, his whole body shivered with each stroke. Pressing wet, heavy kisses all over his neck, you felt his jaw flutter while his lips hung open. His considerable strength spent, Jungkook shuddered one last hard thrust into you and finally let go, coating your walls from within. His hips lightly rocked against yours as he stayed deep inside you, still hard and savoring the euphoric release he'd held back for so long. You felt so incredibly warm and comfortable around his sensitive dick, relaxed but still holding him tight, and he couldn't help holding you up for a languid kiss before pulling out of you smoothly.

He briefly looked into your eyes, and you saw stars. The sun had continued to set outside, and it peeked between the blinds of his window to wrap you both in a warm, slivered glow. Staring down at his hands on your body, Jungkook took a deep breath and collapsed to your side, holding you close. You settled into him, cupping a hand over his head on your chest. With your fingers laced through his sweaty hair, you stroked his temple with your thumb, worrying for a second whether the gesture seemed too intimate but forgetting your fear when he snuggled up into your touch. You felt the need to say something, to figure out what the fuck was next after this, but stayed silent, not wanting to disturb the comforting weight of his frame. Heartbeat still racing, Jungkook stretched out to breathe a long sigh. As he sank back into you, you stretched under him too, letting his solid, warm body drape over you like a blanket. This couldn't be farther from what you'd expected with him, but you weren't about to make it stop. Surely, eventually, he would.

A minute passed. And then five. And then, before either of you could talk yourselves out of it, you were asleep, intertwined.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader smut #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic #college!jungkook #college au!jungkook #bts college au #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #my writing #fic: anti-hero #anti-hero #anti hero

953 notes · View notes

wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Leave No One Behind

Ch 10- Today Is A Gift, That’s Why They Call It The Present Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing

Episode Summary: The Team run their second mission, but it doesn’t go according to plan. When one of the refugee women goes into labour, Hannah and Sammy battle to save her life and that of her baby and the outcome isn’t one any of the team hoped for.

Episode Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW no under18s). Descriptions of birth and trauma. Still born baby- so PLEASE PLEASE HEED THE WARNING AND DO NOT READ IF THESE COULD TRIGGER.

Episode Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz

A/N: Just to re-iterate, this deals with a very, very difficult subject. Please do NOT read if the warnings above could upset or trigger.

Leave No One Behind Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 9 Part 3

“Baby I've been here before, I've seen this room and I've walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew ya. I've seen your flag on the marble arch, but love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah” Hallelujah- Leonard Cohen

Things settled down for Ari and Hannah nicely after her birthday. Sammy wasn’t exactly what Ari would call happy about the situation, but he was accepting which was the main thing and he knew that it made Hannah happier. They were careful to be respectful to his feelings and kept PDAs to a minimum, and also, whilst they didn’t hide the fact they were together from any guests, they still wanted to keep up their professional, alter ego fronts. Therefore, the days were full of stolen moments at their cave, the evenings consisted of taking their own time together after dining with the group to enjoy long sunsets sitting or walking along the sand with Simon and a few drinks whilst the later nights were spent wrapped round one another either in his hut or Hannah’s, the physical side of their love lulling them into a satisfied sleep.

If it wasn’t for the fact they were there for a far more serious reason, Ari would have certainly called it paradise. But they had a job to do, and as such, a couple of weeks later in April they embarked on their second mission.

Rachel was manning the radio and overseeing the hotel as usual, and the rest of them piled in the trucks and set off in the dark, following the route they had meticulously planned, maintaining the updates on the radio as required. They arrived without a hitch, the journey going smoothly and Hannah couldn’t resist taking a dig at Sammy about his lack of faith, her brother simply giving her a scathing look as Ari chuckled from the driver’s seat.

The 5 agents operated quickly and efficiently in the dark clearing of the desert loading the refugees into the trucks, and it was with the last group that Hannah spotted a woman being helped towards the truck by 2 others. She was pregnant, very pregnant in fact. And it was evident she was in a severe amount of pain.

“Sammy…” she nudged her brother and pointed towards the woman. Sammy followed her gaze, and once he spotted what she’d seen he let out a loud groan.

“Shit.” He shook his head, and no sooner had the curse left his mouth, the woman fell to her knees, a cry coming from her lips which was hastily stifled by another refugee clamping her hand over her mouth. Hannah rushed forward, dropping besides the woman and smiled kindly at her, before she turned back to look for Kabede who was currently locked in a heated discussion with Sammy.

“Are you crazy?” Sammy shook his head “It’s too dangerous, she should have stayed!”

“If she stayed she would have died.” Kabede shot back “As would her baby…”

“If anyone hears her then we’re all gonna die!” Sammy shot back and Hannah angrily shushed him.

“Stop it, both of you, you’re scaring her” she looked up “Sammy, she’s in labour and we can’t leave her here…”

“Oh great, that’s…just…” Sammy took a deep breath

Hearing the commotion, Ari and Jake shut the tailgate to the other truck and Ari jogged over to find out what was happening.

“What’s going on?” Ari asked and then he glanced at Hannah who was knelt between a young woman’s legs and one look told him exactly why “Oh…shit.”

“Yeah, shit!” Sammy shook his head and Ari took a deep breath as Hannah spoke.

“She’s in labour.” She looked up at Ari, every inch of her face etched with worry as the woman let out a little cry “And she’s pretty far engaged.”

“I knew things were going too smoothly…” Sammy sighed and Hannah glared at him.

“Oh shut up Sammy you prick!” she shook her head and turned back to Ari as he scrubbed a hand down his face.

“Can you help her?” he asked

“I can try, but it’s gonna have to be on route.” Hannah looked at him. “If anything goes wrong the faster we can get her to the doctor on the boats the better.” Ari drew a deep breath “Ok, Sammy help me and Kabede get her in the truck.”

“I’ll go get my kit.” Hannah jumped up and headed for the cab of the truck, pushing past Max as she ran.

“What…” Max followed her with his eyes before he turned back towards Ari and Sammy, his eyes shooting up as he took in the pregnant woman being helped to her feet, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Other truck is loaded. We ready to go?” Jake asked, drawing up besides Max, frowning at the look on his face. “Something wrong?”

“Looks like we picked up one extra.” Max whispered, and Jake followed his gaze, his mouth dropping open.

“Oh…”

The men looked at each other before Jake mumbled something about a couple of blankets and shot off back to their truck. Meanwhile, Hannah emerged from the cab of the one she had travelled in and ran back to the tail gate as Jake reappeared, passing a small bundle of blanket to Kabede who placed one under the woman’s head as one of the other refugees took hold of her hand.

Kabede looked at Ari who nodded and clapped his hands together.

“Ok, everyone let’s hit the road!” he loudly called before he turned to Hannah as she was about to vault into the back of the truck. His hand gently fell to the side of her neck as he looked at her “You need me to stop just yell, ok?” she nodded and he kissed her forehead “You can do this sweetheart, I trust you.”

She swallowed and then handed her bag to Kabede before Ari helped her climb up into the truck. Kabede hopped down, quickly embracing Ari before he slunk back off into the shadows. Sammy and Ari slammed the tail gate shut and they both sprinted to the cab. With a final glance back into the flat bed where Ari saw Hannah knelt between the woman’s bent legs, talking to her gently, he twisted back and exchanged a glance with Sammy before he put the truck in gear and set off.

Hannah knew there was something wrong from the minute she’d examined the woman. She’d only delivered a few babies but none of those deliveries had involved quite as much blood as this. The thought that the woman could be having a major haemorrhage crossed her mind but she tried to shake it off as she wiped her blood slick hands on the shirt she was wearing. The truck then hit a rut in the road and the woman let out a scream, gripping her friend’s hand.

“Sorry!” Ari yelled back and Hannah glanced up, momentarily to the front before another yell and a hand on her shoulder made her turn back and she saw with horror the woman had passed out.

“Sammy!” she yelled “Sam, please I need…”

Sammy didn’t waste a second, he clambered over the seats into the back looking at Hannah as she wiped the sweat off her brow with her forearm, unknowingly smearing her head with blood.

Sammy crouched in front of the woman, gently checking her pulse.

“She just passed out.” Hannah said. “The baby’s crowning but…”

“She’s losing too much blood.” Sammy stated the obvious, but Hannah didn’t snap.

“I know.” She said softly.

“Ari!” Sammy called and Ari tipped his head slightly to show he was listening “Get on the radio, tell them what’s going on. They need to be prepared.”

“Got it…” Ari said, reaching for the handset.

“Listen to me Han…” Sammy said, “You’re gonna have to manipulate the baby slightly. Let her body to the work but as she’s passed out you’re gonna need to help ok?”

“Okay.”

Sammy carefully moved, placing his hand on the woman’s stomach “I’ll tell you when she’s contracting again. You need to gently grip the head…”

Hannah did as she was told and looked at her brother.

“When you feel the baby moving forward slightly, pull until you feel resistance. Then stop.”

“Right…”

There was a few seconds pause and then Sammy nodded “Now.”

Hannah did as she was told, her fingers curing around the edge of the baby’s head and she gave a tug. The head appeared, and then she noticed with horror that the chord was wrapped around its neck.

“Shit, shit, shit…” she mumbled, and looked at Sammy “The chord…”

Sammy instantly moved. “My hand…” he said gently and Hannah understood he wouldn’t be able to manipulate it free with his limited movement. She waited until he had hold of the baby’s head, supporting it and then her nimble fingers she moved to try and manipulated the chord free. As she was doing so, the woman began to stir, and then she started to panic. Sammy glanced at the other woman, holding her hand and spoke to her.

“Calm, please, as much as you can ok?”

Whether she understood or it was the tone he spoke in, Sammy had no idea but the woman moved and placed a hand on her friend’s head, gently talking to her in a soothing voice.

“Got it…” Hannah said, and Sammy nodded as once more the woman began to scream. She tucked her chin into her chest and pushed once more, and the baby’s shoulders broke free and Hannah saw the baby slide out into Sammy’s hands.

“It’s a girl.” He said gently, looking at the woman, but Hannah was completely focussed on the baby’s face, which was a cold shade of blue.

She once more wiped her hands, this time on her jeans, and gently hooked a finger into the baby’s mouth, clearing its airways before she began CPR. Gently blowing into the tiny mouth she then used both fingers to pump at the chest, repeating the motion over a few times before she bent and tipped her ear to the baby’s chest and mouth.

Nothing.

As the woman was screaming and babbling besides her, Hannah continued her attempts to resuscitate the tiny baby as Sammy saw to the woman, cleaning and patching her up as best he could.

“Come on…” Hannah mumbled “Come on…”

Over and over and over she tried, and eventually she felt Sammy gently lay his hand on her shoulder.

“Han…” he said, and she looked at him, tears in her eyes. He shook his head sadly.

“No, just…let me try again, Sammy, I can…” “It’s been ten minutes.” He stopped her protest “I think we should call it.”

Hannah looked down at the tiny, lifeless baby which was lay on the bloodstained blanket on the floor of the truck, her tears gently falling down her face. She gave a soft nod and Sammy squeezed her shoulder before he looked up at the woman.

“I’m sorry he shook her head.”

The silence that had fallen across the back of the truck was punctuated by her loud scream of agony and Hannah let out a soft sob as Sammy curled his arm around her.

“What…is something wrong?” Ari called, his voice anxious.

“You could say that.” Sammy said softly. Ari turned his head to look at them, just in time to see Hannah turn and press her face into Sammy’s shoulder, her small frame wracking with sobs.

“Fuck” He mumbled, hanging his head slightly as he resumed his driving in silence. Ari gave himself a moment before he reached for the radio to fill base in on what had happened.

It felt like forever until they reached the deserted cove where they were rendezvousing with the Navy seals. Hannah remained in the back of the truck, the devastated woman cradling her still born baby to her chest. Once everyone else was loaded up, Ari and Sammy came back to help them down. The woman’s friend said something to her and the woman furiously shook he head and Hannah looked at her.

“What is she saying?” she asked softly, “I’m sorry, I don’t…”

“She not leave baby.” The woman said “

“She doesn’t have to.” Ari said gently.

“She say baby go too. Be buried.”

Ari nodded and the woman spoke to the mother and she nodded as well, and then slowly the 2 men and Hannah helped them off the truck and over the sand to the waiting boat. Hannah walked by her side, supporting her gently and looked at the Navy officer who peered at the bundle and bowed his head.

“HQ told us.” He said gently. “We’ll take care of her.” “She’s lost a lot of blood.” Hannah spoke, swallowing “She’s weak so…” “I promise she’s in good hands.” The officer assured her.

Hannah took a deep breath and looked at the woman again who stared at her, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t help.” Hannah said gently. “I’m so…so sorry.”

The mother’s voice caught in her throat as the lady gently reached out and grabbed her blood stained hand “You…you good person.” She croaked.

Hannah took another shuddering breath and stepped back, the woman releasing her hand, as Ari and Sammy helped push the boat out through the waves before she bent down and began to wash her arms in the salty water of the sea. She jumped slight as she felt a hand on her back and she looked up as Ari crouched next to her.

“I couldn’t help Ari.” She said gently “I tried, but…” “Hey, it’s not your fault honey.” He said, his hand cupping her dirty face.

“I’m a fucking doctor.” She shook her head, shrugging his hands away as she stood up. “That…I should have….”

“Firefly.” Ari soothed as he rose to his feet, the waves crashing around his knees “You did what you could. Sammy said you were brilliant.”

“He’s a far better doctor that me.” She shook her head “If he had both his hands…”

“You stop that right now!” Sammy’s voice came fiercely over the night and Hannah turned to face him where he was stood a few feet away “Han, we had no equipment. No ultra-sound…she was probably in labour for the last 24 hours. The baby could have been in distress for all that time. There’s nothing either of us could have done.”

Hannah looked at him before she turned away and began making her way up the beach. She passed Max and Jake who were stood watching the ocean, both men turning to watch her go before they looked back at Ari and Sammy.

“You alright pal?” Ari glanced at Sammy who took a deep breath, his shoulder slumping.

“It’s never easy…but when it’s a kid, especially a baby.” He shook his head “That’s probably the first one Hannah’s had to deal with.”

Ari looked over to where Hannah was now climbing into the truck, settling back into the seat she’d been before and he pinched the bridge of his nose before he let out a long breath.

“Come on, let’s get back” he said, his hand falling to Sammy’s shoulder as they waded out of the shallow depth of the ocean. “Good job guys.” He nodded to Jake and Max, “Another 174 people safe.”

“Yeah…” Max looked out over the ocean before he turned to look at the truck, then back to Ari, his shoulders slumping, his face sad. “But it’s the one that didn’t make it who we’re all thinking about.”

Ari bowed his head, before he looked at Max and gave the man’s shoulder a squeeze as he walked past. He said nothing, be chase he had absolutely nothing to say that he knew would make a blind bit of difference to how they were feeling.

The 4 men made their way back to the trucks, Ari climbing in and settling to Hannah’s left, Sammy to her right. He gently dropped his hand to her knee. She didn’t look at him, but she acknowledged his touch by dropping her hand to his and giving it a soft squeeze before she let go so he could start the truck and take them home.

***** It was early morning and still dark when they arrived, Rachel waiting for them as ever. Max and Jake trudged towards her, greeting her with a hug whilst Sammy hopped out of the cab, turning to help Hannah down. He slung his arm over her shoulders and together they made their way towards Rachel.

“Hey.” She said gently “There’s some tea on the go if either of you want any?”

Sammy smiled at her and nodded, but Hannah shook her head as she bent down to scoop Simon up. The dog instantly began licking her face and she turned to Rachel.

“Thanks but I’m gonna turn in.”

“You sure?” Rachel asked.

Hannah nodded.

“Ok, well, see you at breakfast then.”

Without a word Hannah walked through the resort and out the back door, just as Ari caught up with the group. He watched Hannah go before he looked around.

“We’ll debrief later.” His instruction was gentle, his eyes sliding back to the spot Hannah had been in seconds ago. “It’s been a long night.”

The group nodded and Max muttered something about needing a snack before he and Jake took off to the kitchen.

“What happened?” Rachel asked “I mean, I got the jist of it but…” “Chord was round the baby’s neck.” Sammy sighed, “Hannah managed to unwrap it but it was too late. Poor thing had probably died well before she was even born..”

“Shit.” Rachel bowed her head, sighing heavily “That’s…” she trailed off and Sammy looked at her before she glanced back up at him “Are you ok?”

Sammy shrugged “It’s never nice.” He replied, having no other words to describe the situation.

Rachel gently squeezed his hand “I’ll go make the tea, Ari?”

“No thanks. I’m gonna go check on Hannah.” He replied. Rachel nodded and then turned to follow Max and Jake. Taking that as his cue to leave, Ari made for the door to the beach.

“Ari…” Sammy spoke softly and Ari spun to look at him. Sammy licked his lips “I know I don’t need to ask but…look after her, ok?”

“Always.” Ari nodded, smiling softly. Sammy gave him a small incline of the head before he headed off towards the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Ari made his way out of the back of the resort and jogged up the sand towards Hannah’s hut.

He pushed the door open, before he stepped in, locking it behind him. He let out a chuckle as Simon jumped up at him, his tail wagging that hard it was a blur.

“Hey buddy.” He crouched down to give the dog some scratches “Where’s your mamma, huh?”

It was a pointless question, as he knew where she would be. In the shower. His eyes glanced at the bed as Simon walked past Hannah’s discarded boots and hopped up, making his way to his favoured place, the pillow on the side Ari slept on. Ari rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed before he bent down to undo his laces. He shucked his hiking boots off and looked back a Simon, and as he did so something else caught his eye. Hannah’s night stand looked different. The lamp was on, there was the standard bottle of water, her book, but there was something missing. And as he racked his brains, trying to figure out what it was, it suddenly clicked. The photo of her and Andy, the one that had been taken in her Mama’s back yard was gone.

Ari didn’t quite know how he felt about that. On the one hand he couldn’t deny he felt, well maybe not pleased but a certain level of comfort or relief if that either of those were the right word at the fact that he no longer had to see Andy’s face when he woke up next to his girl in the morning. But on the other he felt a little sad. Both of them had lived lives with other people, it was a fact neither of them could escape and Ari wasn’t sure he wanted to either. That time apart had taught them things, things about themselves that had shaped their lives, moulded them into the people they were now. He licked his lips and stood up, headed over to the small bathroom at the back of the hut, gently pushing the door open.

“Han?” he asked softly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light from the feeble strip halogen on the ceiling and the sight in front of him broke his heart. Hannah was sat in the bottom of the shower, fully clothed, her arms hugging her knees to her chest, as she wept.

“Oh Firefly…” Ari sighed, crossing the small space and shuffling down next to her, the water soaking his hair and his clothes as he wrapped one strong arm around her. She turned to him, burying her face into his chest, her sobs wracking her small frame. “It’s ok, I got you.” He pressed a kiss to her sopping wet hair and simply held her, his hand rubbing up her back and her shoulder as she cried.

“I tried so hard…” she stuttered and he swallowed again, pressing his face into her hair.

“I know baby. I know.”

How long he stayed there simply holding her, Ari had no idea and he didn’t particularly care. Nothing mattered to him, nothing but the girl he was cradling in his arms. Eventually her sobbing evened out and she pulled back slightly to look at him. Without a word she pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his lips which he took, gratefully as he brushed her sodden hair off her face.

“You ready to get cleaned up?” he as softly and she nodded.

Ari stood up, pulling her to her feet and with gently hands he slowly undid the button down she was wearing and she slipped it down off her shoulders, before he reached down and pulled the sodden tank top off her, which was clinging to her skin. With a quick and easy movement he shrugged his open plaid shirt off before he reached back and grabbed a handful of his wet t-shirt, pulling it over his head. Her eyes focussed on him, Hannah reached for his belt, her gaze falling downwards as she undid his belt then his jeans and he stepped out of them and his boxers in one movement, before he helped Hannah out of the clothing on her bottom half, which was harder work as her jeans were clinging to her thighs and legs. He held them still whilst she stepped out of them, kicking them to the floor of the bathroom and as Ari stood his hands trailed up the outside of her bare legs, coming to rest on her hips.

The moment was intensely intimate, the pair of them sharing a moment that was so raw, it was hard not to be aroused and as Ari looked at her, he saw a flash in her eyes. It wasn’t lust, it was softer, much softer, a pure love coupled with need and want.

He bent down, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth. “Turn around baby girl.” he whispered softly, against her mouth and without so much as a question she did as she was told. Ari reached up, flicked the clasp on her bra and pushed the straps forward, pressing a kiss to each of her shoulder, before he placed a gentle open mouthed one to her neck. Stepping back slightly, Ari reached down for Hannah’s shampoo and squeezed an amount onto his palm and gently began to work it into her hair. He felt her relax slightly, her shoulders dropping, the tension seeping out of her as he massaged her scalp softly.

Hannah gave a low sigh as she leaned back further so her head lay against his shoulder, her eyes closed. She relaxed completely as his touch soothed her, making her feel safe as his fingers softly worked into her hair. After a little while his hands dropped to her hips and she allowed him to guide her round so she was facing him. His hand gently slid to her chin and with a gently nudge he tipped her head back slightly against the stream from the shower and he reached up, brushing the shampoo away from her face and down her long hair, causing her to press against him, her wet skin slick as it slid against his.

Eventually her hair was completely rinsed clear and he repeated the process with her conditioner and once her hair was done, her locks smoothed and tangle free she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

“Your turn.”

Ari turned around, dipping his head slightly as she gently wound her hands into his hair, nails scratching against his scalp, her body pressing into his back. When she’d finished he turned back to face her, dropping his head to rinse out his hair, taking the opportunity to simply look at her, taking in every singled damned detail. Those blue eyes, the curve of her nose, her high cheekbones, her plump lips, toned shoulders, that dip in her collar bone, the line the water was tracing between her breasts… as his eyes raised to hers he knew she’d spotted how unashamedly aching for her he was and she reached up with her hands, the pads of her fingers cupping his face through his beard. She guided his face down to hers where he captured her mouth in a soft, gentle kiss. He let her guide him, tell him how much she wanted, or how little she wanted, his hands simply splaying across the soft skin on her back and it soon became obvious exactly what she wanted when her hands moved to the back of his neck, tangling in his hair as her tongue explored his mouth.

Ari’s fingers flexed on her hips before they gently traced their way up her ribs and back down again. With a quick, strong movement he pivoted her round so her back was pressed against the rough, sand stone tiles and the kiss grew fervent, his mouth slanted over hers. He broke it, trailing his lips across her jawline and neck and Hannah let out a soft whimper as he softly sucked at that point where her neck joined her shoulder. One strong thigh anchored between her legs and he used it to push up gently against her spot and she let out a low keen, her head lolling back against the wall. Watching her reaction carefully, he repeated the action, both hands curling round her hips as he gently guided her movements back and forth, causing her to rub herself against the strong muscle of his thigh. It wasn’t wrong before she was controlling the rocking, pushing down harder as she rode his thigh and Ari rolled his foot up onto the ball, pushing his thigh harder into her and she gave a louder cry this time, the friction sending a hotwire straight up her core.

“Ari…” she gasped out his name as his lips nipped at her ear, his beard rubbing against the skin on her jaw “Need you, please…”

With an easy movement, he reached down and hooked his hands round the back of her thighs, lifting her up. Her legs wrapping around her waist as once more his mouth claimed hers as he lined himself up and pushed into her gently, her heels digging into the tops of his thighs just below his ass. His throat elicited a deep rumble as he kissed her hard, her hands gripping at his broad back as he began to pump in and out, his head falling to her collar bone where he gave a soft nip.

With each roll of his hips Hannah felt her pleasure beginning to mount, soft moans and mutters of his name falling from her lips as she dropped her head to his shoulder, the feeling in her stomach beginning to overwhelm her.

“Look at me Firefly” he said gently, and she opened her eyes, those ocean deep globes locking onto his as he saw her mouth open, lips part in a soft cry as she came, a deeper groan bubbled over in her throat and her head slid backwards against the wall as she succumbed to the pleasure that crashed over her in waves. Ari would never get tired of seeing her like that, ever. It was the most arousing thing in the world to him. His pace began to quicken, the tight bands in his stomach coiling further and further until they snapped as he pressed her harder.

“Hannah…” he half whispered, half gasped into her ear, nose nuzzling at her pulse point as he came, riding out his release with a few more shallow thrusts until his hips stilled and his head dropped to her shoulder, his breathing deep, his body and soul utterly blissed and consumed by her.

Ari kept her supported, feeling her shaking slightly with the afterglow, and raised his head, sliding his nose against hers gently, brushing their lips together ever so tenderly.

“I love you…” he whispered, before he pulled back to look at her as he gently set her on her feet, his hands cupping her face. She ran the tips of her fingers up his spine and into his hair, gently pulling his face down to hers.

“I love you too.” she replied softly, her eye shining as his mouth caught hers once more.

The water in the resort never ran at scalding level, but now it was colder than normal, and Ari felt Hannah shiver slightly. He reached round to turn the water off before he flicked his hair out of his eyes and stepped out, gabbing a towel. He held it out for her and she turned around so he could wrap it round her from behind, his arms holding her to him as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. She turned to look at him, giving him a gentle smile before she left the room and Ari grabbed another towel, quickly rubbing himself down before he wrapped it around his waist and followed her into the room where she was busy digging in one of the drawers. She stilled and gave a snort as she stood up and waved a pair of boxers at him.

“You moving in?” she quipped and he gave a chuckle.

“I didn’t put them there.” He held his hands up. “Must have been Rachel.” Hannah eyed him suspiciously and he gave a laugh “Scouts honour, Firefly.”

“I believe you.” She shrugged, tossing them to him and he caught them expertly in his right hand. “Thousands wouldn’t”

“Good job I don’t need to convince thousands then isn’t it.” He looked at her and she shook her head before she pulled out a pair of panties and a tank-top to change into. Ari dropped his towel, shimmied into the boxers and then shooed Simon off the pillow. The dog glared at him as he stood up and made his way to the end of the bed, flopping down with a loud huff. Ari followed his example, his head falling back against the pillow and he glanced over at Hannah as she pulled the loose tank over her head. He kept his eyes on her as she gently squeezed and dried her hair, picking up a brush, combing her waves out before she deftly braided it.

“You know, I reckon I could braid your hair…” she looked at Ari in the mirror as she stood up and he scoffed.

“You sound like Maya.” He said as she crawled over him, the pair of them climbing under the comforter before Ari turned off the light, his eyes once more glancing at the space where the picture had been. He settled down, debating whether or not now was the right time to bring it up but it was pushed from his mind as Hannah lay her head on his chest, one leg tossed over both of his, his hand gently tracing shapes on her upper arm.

“What’s it like?” her quiet voice broke the silence.

“What’s what like?” he asked, his nose brushing her temple.

“Having a daughter, a kid?”

Ari stilled and looked down at her “Han…”

“I just wondered.” She whispered quietly. “It must be amazing, you know to have this little person you made just there.”

“It is.” He nodded, his hand stroking her arm again “It’s also scary as fuck knowing that they’re gonna depend on you for everything. It’s life changing. Your entire outlook changes. Suddenly it’s all about them you know? Its hard work, stressful, but worth it. I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” She stayed silent and he kissed her head “Did you ever talk about it? With Andy?”

“Once or twice.” She let out a deep breath “We never got the chance though. He always said he wanted a girl.”

“What about you?” Ari asked.

“I never really had a preference.” She mused “But I guess all women dream about having a boy who looks just like his daddy.”

She sniffed a little and Ari pulled her closer, kissing her head again “You know you’re amazing, right?”

She didn’t reply and he moved so he was led on his side, looking at her, his hand gently brushing a loose strand of damp hair behind her ear.

“What happened tonight, don’t torture yourself about it.” He urged her, his nose bumping hers “I’ve done that myself and nothing good comes of hit Han.”

“You mean Andy?”

Ari took a sharp breath in which he released through his nose “Amongst other things.”

“I know you noticed”

“Noticed what.” He played dumb, but it was no use.

“The photo, Lobo.”

“Well, yeah but it’s not really my place to comment, Firefly.”

“I just felt it was time, you know.” She shrugged “Like, I don’t want to forget him. I never will but...well, you gotta move forward right?”

“Yeah, you do.” He nodded “All the time. You keep looking back over your shoulder at the past, you miss today as it unfolds around you. And as I always tell Maya, yesterday is the past, tomorrow’s the future but today is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.”

“That’s very philosophical.” She replied and he chuckled.

“I have my moments.” His chest vibrated with his quiet laugh and he pressed a kiss to her forehead “I mean it though. And that goes for everything.”

Hannah fell silent as she snuggled closer into him, her cheek pressing against his chest as his chin rest on her head.

“I can’t get her out of my head, Ari.” She whispered quietly, her voice catching “She was blue and, I tried, and…”

“Han…” Ari kissed her head as his arms pulled her closer, his hands rubbing at her back. “It wasn’t your fault.” “Everyone keeps saying that.”

“Because it’s true.” He urged, one of his hands slid round to her face and tipped her chin up so she was looking at him. The room was dark, bar the dim first light of dawn that was sneaking through the lattice shade above the head and he could just pick up the speckles of light in her sad eyes “And I’ll keep telling you until it sinks in. It was a horrible, horrible…accident, twist of fate, whatever. No one could have done anything more.”

“Then why do I feel so shitty about it?”

“Because you’re a beautiful, compassionate woman who cares.” he said, his lips pressing to hers softy “That’s part of the reason I wanted you here after all.”

“Only part?” she quipped through her tears “I knew it.” and Ari gave a soft huff of laughter.

“Well, I’ll admit there was a slight selfishness on my part too but, honestly? In the most it was because you were the right woman for the job.” She stayed silent as he reached up, his thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks. “And I know that tonight was��well, it was fucking awful but…we gotta focus on the positives. Another 174 lives Firefly, and yeah, that doesn’t make up for the one we lost but…well, it’s gotta mean something yeah?”

“Maybe it will tomorrow, Ari, but right now, I just…”

Ari felt her sag in his arms and she pressed another kiss to her head “Try and get some sleep Firefly, you’re exhausted.”

“Bossy bastard” she mumbled, stifling a yawn and he shook his head.

“Stubborn jack ass.” He shot back and she gave a snort as she yawned again, snuggling deeper into his chest.

Ari’s arms kept her close, his large hands gently rubbing at her back until he felt her relax completely. After 5 minutes or so he glanced down, and could just make out her eyelashes as they lay against her cheeks, her breathing even. Pressing another kiss to her head, he peered down at Simon who had been stealthily creeping further up the bed to his current position of being curled in the space behind her knees.

With a smile at the ridiculous, almost domestic feel of the situation, given that it was as far from a normal domestic life he could leave, he closed his eyes and gave into his own feelings of exhaustion.

**** Chapter 11 Part 1

#leave no one behind #Ari Levinson #ari levinson x ofc #ari levinson x original female character #red sea diving resort #chris evans #chris evans characters

31 notes · View notes

spaceskam · 5 years ago

Text

our fainted thrill carries on (5/13)

next chapter of my season 2 fix it!

ao3

“I can’t believe you were being a goddamn Peeping Tom at 3 in the morning at Flint Manes of all people. He’s not, like, ugly, but you can definitely do better.”

Kyle shook his head as he entered the motel room Cam was staying at, already yanking his notebook out of his bag. He dropped onto her bed and flipped it open to the page where he’d drawn the symbol from Jesse Manes’ hip.

“I wasn’t peeping for fun, look at this,” Kyle said. Cam sat beside him. “This is the tattoo that both Jesse Manes and Flint Manes have. I didn’t have a chance to check, but I would put money on the fact that at least one of Alex’s other brothers has it too.”

“What does it mean?” she asked.

“That’s the thing, I don’t actually know,” he told her, “There’s just something about it that’s off to me. It’s a combination of the male symbol and the Neptune symbol, which is three, like the trident, so I’m thinking it’s three men, right? Well, when Alex was talking to his dad earlier, he mentioned something called M.V.C.”

“Which is…?”

“Again, I don’t know.”

“You’re coming here with a lot of missing information.”

“Yes, but,” Kyle said, “I have theories.”

She eyed him before leaning a bit closer to get a good look at the symbol. It was a long shot, but he figured another brain might help piece shit together more. Besides, she was smart and thought like Alex without all of the daddy issues.

“So, originally, I was thinking that maybe it was just three different guys, but now I’m thinking it’s three different generations. Like, the generations of Manes Men that are hunting aliens or whatever. And it’s more symbolic that three actual generations, it’s more of like ‘my father, me, my son’ type of deal. I have no way of seeing if Jesse Manes’ father had one, but the one on his hip looks aged enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if his father did it himself when he was, like, 15.”

“Jesus.”

“I mean, think about it, Jesse having a seriously controlling father would explain why he is the way he is,” Kyle said. He knew she didn’t know all the details about Alex’s relationship with his father, but she knew enough. “And the reason why Alex didn’t get roped in is because he showed early on that he was rebellious and it took more than intimidation to instill conformity.”

“Okay, nice theory, but I think that might be a stretch? Like, I think you’re trying to fit what you know about Cap and his dad into the box of what you think the tattoo means. What if it’s something completely different and you’re just veering really far off track?” Cam said. Kyle smiled at her and, if she wasn’t capable of killing him, he probably would’ve done something stupid like thank her for having a brain.

“Yes, absolutely! I am too wrapped up in this theory and I’m trying to prove it right rather than trying to find objective information,” Kyle said, “Which is where you come in.”

“I’m listening.”

“Thursday night, we’re having like a group dinner at Max’s, so I’ll know where everyone is and know that they’re safe. Do you think you can do some sleuthing in that time to see what you can find?” Kyle asked. Her face hardened and she leaned away from him.

“By sleuthing, do you mean seducing Flint Manes?” she asked cooly. Kyle immediately shook his head, though now that she mentioned it, it did sound like a good idea.

“I mean, not necessarily,” he said. Cam fixed him with a look.

“I’ll look into things, but I’m not sleeping with Cap’s brother,” she said. Kyle nodded easily.

“Absolutely, I just need fresh eyes and ideas," he told her. She nodded, reaching over to the nightstand and grabbing her phone. She took a picture of the symbol.

"I'll keep you updated. Now go home and go the fuck to sleep because you look like you haven't slept in 24 hours."

He didn't have the heart to correct her that it was 36.

"Michael fucking Guerin!"

Michael slowly smiled at the sound of Alex's voice as he climbed out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his hips and grabbed another one to dry his hair, throwing the bathroom door open. He sauntered to the kitchen where Alex was doing laundry. The washing machine and dryer were really out of place there, but Alex had rigged them up all by himself and who was Michael to judge.

"You called?"

Alex whipped around, totally unphased by Michael's level of nudity. That felt more worthwhile than when he got flustered. This… this was fucking normal. How cool was that?

"What is this?" Alex demanded, shoving his jeans in Michael's direction, "Is that wood glue?"

Michael took it from him and gently scratched the rough, dull-colored patch on the fabric.

"Yeah, looks like it."

"You are a mechanic. What are you doing with wood glue? Why are you messing with wood glue when you're wearing my jeans? Stop ruining my jeans!"

“Relax,” Michael laughed, grabbing them out of his hands, “You got vinegar? That’ll usually get it out.”

Alex just continued to glare at him and Michael took a bold step forward, tilting his head in a slightly cocky manner. He licked his bottom lip and watched as Alex’s irritation slowly melted, his shoulders dropping. Not for the first time that week, he thought about kissing him, but he held off. That was a bad idea and they both knew it.

“Go put vinegar on it and then get dressed,” Alex told him, stepping to the side to go find a pair of not-stained jeans. Before Michael could catch himself, he grabbed his arm and leaned close. Alex couldn’t even hide his smile as he did so, still trying to force a glare. “What do you want?”

“Don’t be mad at me, please,” Michael said as softly as he could, pouting slightly and batting his eyelashes. Alex rolled his eyes and pulled out of his grasp.

“Dry off, you heathen,” Alex laughed. Michael watched as he headed to the bedroom and took a deep breath before he turned to put that section of his jeans in a bowl of vinegar.

It was weird to think that this was the most stable they’d ever been for the longest amount of time. Tonight would make it a full week of sleeping in the same bed, spending all their free time together, learning more about each other than they ever had. Michael didn’t realize just how much he didn’t know about Alex. Sure, maybe he still hadn’t mentioned that piece, but it was hard to be mad by that when Alex was right there and laughing through a story about a time in France where he accidentally walked in on his past CO getting off to a Lady Gaga music video and had been sworn to secrecy, but Michael was an exception.

Soon enough, they were in Michael’s truck, carpooling to Max’s house. He shouldn’t have felt so fucking giddy about going to his dead brother’s house for some pseudo-family dinner, but he was. It helped that Alex’s jeans hugged his thighs and Alex was right there, humming along to the radio.

“Oh, so, just a warning, Liz is probably going to ask you about what’s going on between us,” Michael warned, “Maybe Isobel too, but most likely Liz.”

“Why?” Alex asked slowly.

“Because she thinks I’m, like, leading you and Maria on or something. But I’m not, right? Like, you don’t think that’s what I’m doing, do you?” Michael clarified. Alex instantly shook his head.

“We’re literally trying to revive a dead alien and trying to track down whatever my dad’s bullshit is, who has time for maintaining a romantic relationship?” he said.

“Exactly!” Michael scoffed. Alex huffed a small little laugh that was so much cuter than it had any right being.

“She hasn’t talked to me about it,” Alex admitted, tapping against his leg to the rhythm of the song playing on the radio, “Actually, neither of them have really talked to me at all about anything.”

“Wait, for real?” Michael asked, “You’re giving Liz a space to do all of her experimentings and she doesn’t even talk to you?” Alex shrugged like it didn’t matter. But it did. Michael was the first to admit he was shit at maintaining friendships, but Liz and Maria always claimed Alex was their best friend. They took care of each other, he was one of theirs.

But did that only apply for when they needed something?

“It’s fine.”

“Well, I mean, it’s just weird. Like, she acted like she’d talked to you about it like she was scared that you were gonna get hurt,” Michael explained, “Not that I’d ever hurt you on purpose like that again, by the way.” Alex snorted.

“Liz and I have never, and I mean never, talked about my love life. Which is fine, there’s not much to tell, but still, she’s never once acted like she was concerned about what the two of us are doing while cohabiting,” Alex said. Michael took his bottom lip between his teeth. Cohabiting. “And Maria and I used to talk about it, but that stopped once she found out it was you I had a history with. Then… after she came over, we haven’t really talked at all. Which is my fault too, I haven’t reached out.”

“I’m sorry I fucked things up between you two,” Michael said, glancing over at him. He had his head against the window, staring at the passing desert with interested eyes. It was just like he’d done when they were young and Michael didn’t know how to process that.

“No, we didn’t exactly try. One day I’ll talk to her. I sort of have to get up the courage because I feel bad about the way I acted,” Alex admitted. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Same,” he said, “I was probably worse.”

“I would say we could go apologize to her together, but I think she might get the wrong idea if we’re within 50 feet of each other,” Alex said, biting back a laugh, “I did corrupt your straight white boy ass, you know.”

Michael shook his head with a laugh. “Cute.”

“Well, that’s what she thinks. Or, a lot of people think,” Alex said, “What is your percentage anyway? Like, a lot of bi people have a percentage or something, not always 50/50.”

“Yeah, see, I don’t fucking know,” Michael admitted. Alex actually laughed this time and Michael just smiled. He really didn’t know. He thought he was pretty 50/50, but it was hard to really conceptualize that on a human level. He guessed he could make a list of everyone he’d slept with and base it off of that, but even that felt skewed because most of the time he’d had pretty limited options in Roswell. If he counted everyone he’d been attracted to, though, that felt like an even harder thing. Did famous people count? Cartoons? At the end of the day, who really held a candle to Jessica Rabbit? “I just act on how I feel in the moment. But you aren’t the only man I’ve hooked up with if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex asked, “Who else?”

“Okay, it was only one other guy and it was just, like, giving head in the bathroom of a club, but still. You didn’t make me queer, you just made me know it was okay,” Michael said. Alex was quiet and when Michael glanced over at him, he saw him staring at him with that look. The one with the half-lidded eyes and the parted lips and his head tilted back. It had his stomach doing flips. “What?”

“Nothing,” Alex hummed, leaning forward to turn the radio up. Misery Business by Paramore was playing, still in it’s first few chords as if Alex had just sensed it was on.

“You can’t just ignore me for Hayley Williams,” Michael laughed. Alex cranked it up louder, the speakers thudding as the instruments kicked in. “Really?”

“I’m in the business of misery, let’s take it from the top,” Alex sang, leaning in instead of answering. Michael just rolled his eyes and joined in until they were both headbanging and scream-singing at the windshield. It felt good. Everything else in the world paled in comparison to just that.

He was almost sad as they pulled up to Max’s house.

Alex was not at all surprised when Rosa flew out of the door and immediately latched onto him as they walked up.

“Oh, thank god, save me.”

He laughed easily, wrapping her in a hug. He’d promised to see her more often, but he hadn’t really been making good on that promise. It was a problem that he definitely was going to put more effort into fixing. She was one of the only ones he could even tolerate at this point.

“Is it that bad?” Michael asked with a smile. Rosa looked over at him with a slightly judgy look in her eye, but he didn’t seem to take offense to it. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Can I move in with you for, like, a week?” she begged, “If I have to be locked alone or with Liz or with Isobel for any more time, I am going to lose it. It’s only been, like, a month.” Alex looked over to Michael and raised an eyebrow in question. Michael held up his hands.

“Hey, it’s your house. If you want a guest, don’t let me stop you,” he said.

“Mm,” Alex hummed in response. Michael flashed him a warm smile and then let himself inside the door, leaving Rosa and Alex alone.

She waited until the door closed and they were, for the most part, out of earshot before pulling away. The look on her face was nothing short of intrigued and he was again filled with an old sense of belonging. Maybe he would let her stay for a while. Lately, Michael had been giving him that same welcome feeling, so why not add more to the mixture? It made him feel good.

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s going on or am I going to have to slowly pull it out of you?” she asked. A confused smile fond his face and he tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, Alex,” she said, pouting her lips as she teased him, “Amor está en el aire.”

“Stop,” he warned despite her dramatic tone bringing a smile to his lips.

“Or should I say lust.”

“That would be even further away,” Alex laughed, looking up to double-check that no one was hanging outside the door and then casually scoping the rest of the perimeter that he could see, “We’re just friends.”

“Mhm,” Rosa hummed, crossing her arms and popping her hip out to the side as she judged him, “And there’s no residual feelings?”

“Okay, I didn’t say that,” Alex said, trying ignoring the way his cheeks started to burn, “But we’re just not in a place for that and, honestly, things are better right now than they’ve ever been between us. I’m not going to fuck with that especially when we’re still not done handling things with my dad.”

“When will you ever be done with your dad, though, Alex? Because even after he’s dead, he’s still going to haunt you and we all know it,” Rosa said bluntly. Alex’s smile dropped easily and he shifted his weight. “I don’t want you putting off your happiness for something that’ll never go away.”

“It’s not that,” he said, but he paused, “Well, it’s a little bit that. But mostly we’re just still in the thick of it, it’d be stupid.”

“Is that it or are you just scared to ask for what you want?” Rosa pressed. He scoffed.

“You’re just going in deep aren’t you?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she grinned, “No, but, for real, can I stay with you?”

“Depends, are you going to mock me for sharing a bed with him?”

Rosa’s eyes went wide and she scoffed, her jaw-dropping dramatically.

“I swear, if I could go back and tell baby Alex that he’d be sharing a bed with the boy he’s in love with, he’d tell me I was a liar.”

“If you told baby Alex a lot of things that are going on right now, he’d tell you you were a liar,” he laughed, “Let’s go inside and I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay, you harlot.”

“There it is.”

Isobel gave him that look that told Michael that he was in trouble.

“Oh, what the hell did I do this time?” he asked.

She looked over to where Kyle and Liz were cooking before grabbing his arm, pulling him down the hall and sufficiently into Max’s bedroom. They both unintentionally upturned their noses at how much Liz and Rosa had just made it their own space. It was jarring no matter how much they understood that she had the full right to do so. Eventually, Isobel shifted her attention back to him.

“How are you?”

Michael blinked at her for a moment in confusion. “Huh?”

A small pout overcame her face and she sighed, “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Rosa and Liz and it’s come to my attention that I may have been a shitty sister. We used to act like them, or something, but now I feel like we’ve just drifted apart without Max. Which I have no excuse for because I can feel you a lot more now. You feel… better.”

Michael was hesitant to smile as he watched her. This felt like one of those conversations that was going to veer off into the other direction, but right now… Right now, she looked sincere. So sincere that he pulled her into a hug and she clung right back. He hadn’t realized how much he missed her.

“Catch me up, what have I missed,” she urged, grabbing his hands and sitting them both on the bed, “I’ll go first so you don’t think I’m hounding you. I donated a few grand of Noah’s money to a woman’s shelter, I have been really good at being nice to both Ortecho sisters, and I’ve been working with Arturo to make a name for the Crashdown online whenever I’m not working on my powers or, like, my actual job. Your turn.”

Michael very quickly realized he had nothing for show and tell. He simply went to work, helped them at the lab, checked on Max, and went home to Alex, repeat. What was brag-worthy about that?

“I don’t really have anything to update you on,” Michael said. Isobel rolled her eyes.

“You are significantly less stressed than you were even last week,” she said, “What changed since then?”

He didn’t know how to answer without sounding stupid. Open honesty with Alex had suddenly cured his soul? Well, it wasn’t that. He couldn’t even really articulate what exactly had caused him to feel like this.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, shrugging, “Alex just likes having me around and we talk about things. We never used to do that before, it feels good.” Isobel gave him a tiny smile, like she knew something he didn’t.

“You’re really happy with him?”

“We’re not, like, together or anything. I don’t want that right now, we’re just good like we are. But I… I can’t describe why it’s so good right now.”

“Because it’s unconditional,” Isobel said, voice soft and eyes glassy. She didn’t usually give him that look or speak to him like that. They were usually playful, but she looked serious. He wondered if it had anything to do with Max not being around. “You’re finally feeling unconditional love.”

Michael swallowed hard as she just said it out loud. It felt like a good descriptor, honestly. He felt wanted and needed, but in a way that meant he could also want and need right back and it wouldn’t result in failure. Because Alex trusted him enough to call him when he needed him even after all the bullshit, he didn’t kick him out when he ruined his jeans, he didn’t yell at him for not understanding, he only kept one secret. Alex had said open and he’d thrown himself all in.

But now that she said it out loud, it sounded terrifying.

“Okay, you look like you’re going to throw up,” Isobel said, sniffling, “Sorry, I’m just, like, feeding off your emotions and you just… you feel really safe. I’ve never felt that from you before and I didn’t realize. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you’ve never felt safe, Michael.”

“It’s okay,” he said, still trying to process it for himself. Is this really what it was supposed to feel like all the time?

“No, it’s not. I’ve been a shitty sister.”

“I’ve been a shitty brother.”

Isobel just rolled her eyes and pulled him into another hug, one that lasted a little longer than the one before. He sighed easily against her shoulder, closing his eyes as he relaxed in her grasp. He missed her so much.

“So, are you guys back together?”

“What? No.”

The sweet moment ended when she slapped his shoulder.

“So, um, your dad,” Liz said, scraping her fork against the plate.

When Alex had suggested this whole thing so he could get a feel on how Liz was coping, he had stupidly thought that maybe, just maybe, it would feel normal. They were all friends, all of them close and reliant on each other. And yet it was fucking awkward.

“Right,” Alex said, clearing his throat and putting his fork down, “So, we’re pretty sure he’s up to something on a deeper level. There’s something called M.V.C. that I’ve been trying to look into, but I’m not finding anything yet. I don’t know if I’m just looking in the wrong places or what, but, that being said, I think we all need to be careful.”

“I’m already being careful,” Liz told him. Alex nodded once.

“I know, I’m saying we need to be extra cautious,” Alex went on, “My brothers are in town and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that they’re tied up in this shit. With Max being gone and us focusing on that, it makes everyone a little more vulnerable.”

“Us?” Liz asked, tone still clipped, “No, it’s me and Isobel and Michael working on Max.”

Alex blinked and refused to show any emotion, trying to figure out what exactly was going on. He knew that Liz wasn’t exactly his biggest fan right now‒God knows why‒but he wasn’t sure why she was being rude. He’d given her a lab and they were supposed to be friends, and yet it seemed to stop there. They didn’t talk. They didn’t do anything. How much was that for friendship?

“Anyway,” Kyle jumped in, “Right now, Jenna is looking into Flint and Jesse to see if she can get any separate information that we aren’t getting.”

Alex took the moment of attention being taken off of him to look over for some strength to keep his mind on track. He didn’t want to let whatever Liz felt towards him distract him from why he was here. He locked eyes with Rosa who raised her eyebrows and tilted her head just enough to say you got this. He wasn’t sure she even knew what she was supporting him to do, but she did it anyway without any hesitation. He loved her for that.

“Wait, Jenna’s back in town?” Isobel asked.

“Yeah,” Kyle answered, “And she’s giving me updates, but so far Flint isn’t budging. Apparently, he’d been warned about her.”

“Back up, you told her about everything with Max?” Liz asked. Kyle eyed her and then gave Alex a look that said ‘see?’. Alex’s eyes drifted to Isobel and then Michael, both of them looking like they didn’t belong in the conversation, then to Rosa who was trying to hype him up to get on topic. “Because that is not your business to tell.”

“Liz, you know you can trust us, right?” Alex said, “Because it feels like you think you’re on you’re own.”

“Is that right? Because the only one helping me with Max is Michael and Isobel,” Liz argued, “You and Kyle aren’t helping.”

“Liz, I am helping, I’m just trying to also deal with Project Shepard stuff,” Kyle said softly. Liz shook her head, clearly irritated with him saying that. Alex furrowed his eyebrows.

“Liz, my father is an actual threat,” Alex told her, “We don’t even know if Max has a chance. His heart is shredded. Can he even be revived, Liz? Honestly, can he? Or is this just false hope to distract you from mourning him?”

Liz stared at him with a look that was so distinctly Rosa that it was jarring. She shoved her chair back and got to her feet, abandoning the table. They all sat quietly for a moment before Rosa pushed back her chair. Alex shook his head.

“I got it,” he said. Michael caught his eye, seeming a little too serious as he stared at him. That’d be the next thing he dealt with.

Alex followed Liz to the bedroom and found her standing there like she was preparing for a fight, face hardened and eyes set on him the moment he walked through the door. He took a moment to prepare himself as he shut the door behind him.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Alex,” she said as soon as the latch clicked in place.

“The science part? No, you’re right, I don’t. But I do know that you’re being more than a little irrational. What happens if it doesn’t work? Is Max even getting better at all?”

“Nothing exponential yet, but it’s something! It’s only been a month, Alex! We’re not going backward and that’s all I need to know that I can fix this!”

“Okay, and if you do fix it, then what happens? If you manage to resurrect him, then what? Because with the way you’re acting, I’m failing to see how you’re aren’t going to get some sort of power high from resurrecting someone.”

“The way I’m acting? Who are you, my dad? I’m just doing what’s right! He died to bring Rosa back, it’s my job to bring him back!”

“Is it, though? It’s not like you asked him to bring her back.”

“It doesn’t matter! I love him!” she yelled, tears brimming her eyes, “I love him and I hate him! He didn’t even ask me and he, he just left me as soon as I had something good! This can’t be the end of it!”

Things clicked in Alex’s head then and he took a step forward, holding his hands out so she could see them clearly.

“I know,” he said, “I know how it feels to lose someone just when it gets good.”

“Oh, screw you, Alex, you don’t know how I feel. You can’t compare your stupid little affair in high school to this,” Liz spat. He nodded even though it rubbed him the wrong way.

“You’re right, it’s not the same,” he agreed, “But pushing everyone away isn’t going to help, and being in denial isn’t going to help either. You need to mourn and you need your friends.” Liz shook her head and took a step away from him.

“No, what I need is Kyle and Michael to focus on helping me instead of being at your every beck and call,” she told him. Alex let his hands drop, his eyebrows furrowing. “They’re the only ones who can help me and you’re just capitalizing their time.”

“You’re… mad at me for having friends? You lost me,” Alex said. Liz groaned, throwing her head back and wiping her head.

“I’m not mad at you for having friends, I’m mad that,” Liz said, stopping herself as she gathered her thoughts, “I’m mad that…”

“That things aren’t going your way?” Alex filled in, “That things aren’t like they used to be? That I’m not just going to fold and back away and let you and Maria walk all over me and take everything?”

Liz scoffed, “We did not walk all over you.”

“Okay, maybe not, but you were definitely put first. Hell, you still are on some level. I know you don’t get it, but if I avoid my father, it won’t matter if you can bring Max back or not. We’re all fucked. We’re breaking rules to accommodate you and Michael and Kyle are doing all that they can to help you even if you don’t see it,” Alex explained, “And, look, I know you don’t like me anymore, but I do still care about you and it’s worrying me that you aren’t thinking clearly.”

“What?” Liz sighed, looking at him like he’d lost it, “What do you mean I don’t like you?”

“I’m not stupid, Liz. You call me your friend because we used to be, but actions speak louder than words.”

“Oh, but that doesn’t apply to you?”

“Excuse me?” Alex asked. She gave him a look like he should know what she meant, but he had no idea.

“You know that Michael has no idea what he wants and you’re still playing house with him,” she said, “I know you aren’t stupid, Alex, which is what I’m not getting. Why are you letting him in your house like that when you know he’s just trying to fuck you and Maria over? I like him, I do, and I know he’s charming, but he doesn’t care about anything but himself, Max, and Isobel at the end of the day. He is just like Max but even more destructive and all you’re doing is enabling him to hurt more people.”

Her words hit Alex like a blow to the stomach. He physically took a step back, trying to follow her ridiculous train of thought.

“Don’t talk about something you know nothing about,” Alex breathed, shaking his head. She gave him a truly pitiful look like he was the one who should feel bad.

“I know enough.”

“Do you?” Alex scoffed, “Do you know that I love him? That he loves me? That I have spent over a decade keeping him safe and I am not about to stop now? Maybe that makes me a fucking dumbass, but I know what I’m getting myself into with him. He’s not trying to fuck Maria over, he’s trying to learn how to take care of himself before he dives into something. He is doing better than I have ever seen him and I’m not going to take that away because you don’t understand. And he is not like Max. Just because your little alien is murderous and self-righteous, doesn’t mean mine is. And, for God’s sake, don’t act like this is about Michael when it’s about me.”

Liz stared at him, his words slowly but surely sinking in. He waited and stared without faltering. He realized a little bit more about the benefits of having Michael Guerin staying in his house. After this was over, he didn’t have to be alone. After this, he was going to go home and curl up against his chest and listen to him breathe and be held until he fell asleep. That would make up for this.

“You’re in love?” she asked. Alex rubbed his hands over his face.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, “What matters is you think I’m sabotaging things by going after my dad and monopolizing Michael’s time. That isn’t what’s happening and I don’t know how to make you realize that.”

Liz stared at him, those frustrated tears coming right back.

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Alex,” she admitted, “Everyone’s changed since we were kids, but you’re a completely different person. I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to handle that on top of everything else.”

That stung, but Alex knew it was fair. He was still trying to see himself too.

“Okay,” Alex said, “Then I’ll make time to work closer with you.”

“What?”

“That’s the problem, right? You’re struggling to trust me, but we’re both the ones discovering the most information about this shit. We should be working together,” Alex decided, “Then maybe you can re-get to know me.”

“Okay.”

“You need friends, Liz,” he told her, “Or you’re going to break.”

Liz took a deep breath and nodded, wiping away her tears.

“Okay.”

“I got the glue out of your jeans.”

“Thanks.”

Alex was already curled up in bed and rubbing his temples by the time Michael came into the bedroom. He was tired and hadn’t really talked to anyone since he argued with Liz. His skin felt too tight and he was irritable and he felt even worse when he realized Michael was feeding off his negativity. He’d been in a good mood before dinner.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as Michael quietly checked the closet and behind the curtains for him before shutting off the lights.

“You’re okay,” Michael said. Alex shut his eyes as the bed shifted and he waited for Michael to reach for attention like he usually did. Except he didn’t. “Hey, uh… Do you really think we won’t be able to bring Max back?”

Alex curled in on himself a little more. Right.

“I don’t know. I just want you all to be prepared.”

“Yeah.”

Micahel was quiet for a few minutes, long enough that Alex started thinking he was angry at him. Alex almost apologized a handful of times, longing to be forgiven for something he wasn’t actually sorry for. He just didn’t want to push him away, he didn’t want to be annoying, he didn’t want to be a problem.

“Hey, Alex?” Michael said. Alex let out an unexpectedly heavy breath and he cursed himself for it. “Is there anything important you haven’t told me? Like, alien wise?”

Alex was instantly bombarded with documented torture he’d kept a secret, filmed dissections he’d hidden, videos of his mother trying to sweet talk guards that hit her or worse in response that he’d lied about, and that stupid piece of the ship that scared him more than anything. They were all stupid and small and out of Alex’s control in the grand scheme of things, but they were big and scary on their own. What if Michael stopped feeling safe? What if Michael left?

“No,” Alex said, “I’ve told you everything.”

Michael was silent again for a few seconds. Alex waited for him to call him out for being a liar, to call him out for being annoying and not the guy he actually loved. If Liz didn’t see him as himself, why should Michael?

Except then the mattress creaked as he shifted and slowly Michael’s arms encircled his torso. He exhaled in relief as Michael pressed up behind him, fitting against his form effortlessly. They fit together so well sometimes it hurt him. But he pressed his warm nose behind Alex’s ear and held him tight, using his body heat and willpower to shoo away all his bad feelings.

“You’re the strongest man I know, you know that, right?” Michael told him softly, “I trust you more than anyone in this entire galaxy.”

Alex didn’t know how to say he wasn’t worthy of that title. So he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Michael added even softly, his voice hardly even making a sound at this point, “It’s okay to be sad. We all need a little help sometimes.” The words were Alex’s, but they fit in his mouth like they belonged there.

Alex’s body was flooded with emotion, that overwhelming feeling of everything coming for him and forcing tears to his eyes. None fell and he kept his eyes closed, but he knew more than ever that he loved him.

He loved him so much it hurt.

“Did you find anything?”

“Um, I think you should sit down.”

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows but did as Cam instructed and sat on her motel bed. He’d been spending a lot of time there the last few nights, usually after shifts so they could talk about theories. Right now, though, he was just drained from a very uncomfortable dinner.

“Did Flint tell you something?”

“No,” she said slowly, sitting beside him with a file in her hand. She kept it to her chest so he couldn’t see it until she wanted him too. “He was a dead-end and visiting hours with Jesse are over. He gets out of the hospital in a few days though, which you knew, and I plan to speak with him then. But I started thinking about it and I looked into something else.”

“And you found something?”

“Yeah,” Cam confirmed, eying him hesitantly, “I don’t think it’s three generations.”

“Oh?” Kyle said. Slowly, she pulled the file from her chest and held it in front of them, opening it to see the same tattoo on a brown-skinned hip. He grabbed onto the file.��Who is this?”

“Don’t freak out.”

He looked over to her in confusion. “Why would I freak out?”

“I was thinking about it and I was trying to think who was just as involved with aliens as Jesse Manes,” she said, “So I started searching through old military records and a lot of them had either pictures or descriptions of their tattoos, stuff to identify soldiers by if worse came to worst. We got lucky that the Valenti’s clearly have no problem with their bare ass being in a picture.”

Kyle’s eyes widened involuntarily as he realized what she was saying. And it definitely wasn’t generational. Instead, it was starting to look a lot more like a cult.

“So…”

“Yep,” she sighed, “Manes and Valenti. Two heads of Neptune’s trident.”

“Fuck.”

#malex fic #malex #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #our fainted thrill carries on

49 notes · View notes

blurry-fics · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter Three

Where Did We Go | Series Masterlist

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 1874

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! :) (picture credit)

“Ok, I’m off to my meetings. I shouldn’t be home any later than four, and feel free to text me if you need anything. I love you.”

Tyler bent over the back of the couch to give you a quick kiss before rushing off towards the door. You barely managed to get in an “I love you too” before it closed with a thud.

Your eyes lingered on the door for a moment, secretly hoping that Tyler would come straight back inside and announce that all of his meetings had been cancelled so he could spend the entire day with you. Two whole days with him hadn’t been even close to enough time together after the month you had spent apart, even though you had known that this moment was coming. The Emotional Roadshow was only three short weeks away and there always seemed to be more details that needed to be ironed out as it drew closer. It was a routine that you had become familiar with over the years.

Deciding that you might as well use your time alone to be productive, you headed upstairs to start folding some laundry. All of Tyler’s tour stuff had finally come through the wash and you were tired of looking at it piled in the corner of the room. At the very least, it would give you something to do for awhile and make Tyler happy whenever he ended up getting home. There was a reason he had been putting it off in the first place.

You switched on some music before piling all the clothes on the bed and starting to sort them into different piles. It was times like these that you really missed having Georgie around. Despite his rambunctious nature when he was younger, he always provided good company when you were feeling particularly lonely. Unfortunately, Tyler had been adamant that he didn’t want any animals in the house, so when the two of you finally moved in together, Georgie went to live with Carter and Marenna. It wasn’t the worst place in the world for him to be since they lived close, but you still often found yourself missing his company, especially since he had calmed down as he got older.

The folding went by quickly as soon as you got into the swing of things. Before you knew it, everything was separated by location and ready to be put into its proper spot. You decided to start with Tyler’s shirts, since that was easily the biggest pile. With a couple tucked under your arm, you headed into his closet and opened the drawer where he kept his shirts.

You sighed as you got a look at the condition of his t-shirts. There weren’t many that he had left behind, but the ones that he had were thrown all over the place, obviously never having been cleaned up after his last-minute packing frenzy. Deciding that it would be easier to start from scratch, you emptied out the drawer and shook out all the shirts so that they could be properly folded.

You had just barely started to fold the first shirt when something on the ground caught your eye. Tyler’s messy handwriting was all over the back of what appeared to be a card, although you couldn’t quite tell when it was half-buried in the shirts. Forgetting your task for the time being, you picked it up to get a closer look.

“You’re kidding,” you mumbled, your face slowly growing into a smile.

In your hand was a postcard from Columbus, Ohio, marked with the date that he had returned from his very first tour. It was the same postcard that he had claimed not to have because he thought you “wouldn’t want a postcard from the place you lived”. Curiosity quickly got the best of you and you flipped the card back over so that you could read whatever message he had left.

After all, his original intention had been to give it to you, right?

We’re finally back in Ohio. It feels like I’ve been away for a lifetime. I can’t wait to see you again and hear your voice. Man, I’ve missed your voice. And you.

I love you, Y/N. Sorry I never told you earlier.

You read it over a couple times, letting the words sink in even though you had already heard them a hundred times over. Tyler saying that he loved you - however that may be - never seemed to get old.

Once you were done looking over the postcard, you decided to tuck it back away where you had found it. Maybe you would talk to Tyler about it later and ask why he had chickened out at the last minute, although you were pretty sure you already knew the answer. The beginning of your relationship with Tyler was something that the two of you talked about often, and you were always remembering random stories and questions to tell the other; it wasn’t as hard for you to think about that time now that you knew it all had a happy ending. Still, you found yourself wondering how you had managed to get so lucky sometimes.

* * *

You watched as the clock turned to 5:15, still with no word from Tyler about when he would be home or why he was so late. The frustration and worry was really starting to set in, so you decided it was long past time that you did something about it. Grabbing your phone from the coffee table, you dialed Tyler’s number, confirmed that the call went through, and brought the phone to your ear. Your foot tapped nervously against the coffee table as you waited for it to start ringing.

The phone only rang once before it cut off and you got sent straight to voicemail. Relief about knowing that Tyler was at least ok washed over you, but it was quickly replaced with disappointment that you wouldn’t get a chance to talk to him. With a sigh, you tossed your phone down onto the couch and decided to try calling again in fifteen minutes if you didn’t hear anything from him. Thankfully, your phone vibrated a minute later.

Tyler: Lots of things going wrong, meetings are going to take awhile, will probably be home late. Don’t wait up for me. I love you

You clenched your jaw as you typed out a reply, trying not to let your emotions get the best of you. It was just one evening that you had to spend without Tyler, and it’s not like it was something you weren’t used to. It was better that they got things worked out now than having more meetings in the future, right?

Y/N: No worries, hope everything gets worked out. Thanks for letting me know. I love you too

Now that you had confirmation that Tyler wouldn’t be home in time to have dinner with you, you decided it was as good a time as any that you made some food for yourself. Once again, you found yourself turning on music to try and fill some of the emptiness of the house. A familiar sense of loneliness started to wash over you, but you pushed it away. You had known from the start that time away from Tyler was just how things went between you two.

Even if he was supposed to have a break.

Half an hour later, you were settled on the couch with a drink and the food that you had made for yourself. Tyler’s plate was wrapped in tinfoil and sitting in the fridge, waiting for him to have whenever he eventually got home. Part of you was still hoping that he would show up out of the blue in the next few minutes.

You opened up your favorite TV show on Netflix and picked up where you had left off the night before, sending another wave of loneliness over you. Everything about the night felt too much like Tyler was on tour again, even though in reality you knew he wasn't more than half an hour away.

That almost made it hurt worse.

You let yourself think about it a moment longer before pushing the thought from your brain and focusing on the TV show. Letting yourself mull over your loneliness was only going to make it that much more difficult. Besides, you had already survived a month without Tyler, what was one more night?

Your phone started ringing shortly after dinner. You practically lunged at it, hoping that it was Tyler finally calling you to let you know that he was on the way home. Although you had missed out on dinner together, there was still enough time for you to cuddle up during a movie and enjoy at least part of the evening together. Unfortunately, it was only Carter.

“Hello?” you answered, accidentally letting a little more disappointment slip into your tone than you had intended.

“Don’t sound so excited to talk to me,” he laughed.

“Sorry, Tyler’s meetings are running late and I haven’t seen him since this morning, so I thought it was him calling to let me know he was on his way home.”

“Yeah, too bad it’s just your dumb brother.”

“Shut up,” you laughed. “You’re not dumb and I’m glad you called. I actually meant to call you earlier today, but I got distracted and forgot.”

“Then it works out.” You could practically see Carter’s smile. “I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.”

You kicked your feet back up onto the coffee table. “I’ve been better. How are your last minute wedding preparations?”

“Hectic. Marenna’s cousin called us the other day and started making demands about songs that we had to play, but the problem is that we sent the final playlist to the DJ a week ago.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. You’d be surprised by how many crazy demands the guests try to make at our wedding.”

“I can only imagine,” you laughed. “Speaking of which, is there anything that I need to bring to entertain Max? Or do you have that handled?”

“We should have that handled, although I would make sure both you and Tyler are wearing clothes that are easy to move in. He just started learning how to run and he’s surprisingly hard to catch,” he laughed.

“Marenna was telling me about that the other day,” you joined his laughter. “I’ll make sure to pack a backup outfit in case I need it.”

“Good idea. Anyway, you said you’ve been better. What’s up?”

“Oh, you know, just frustrated that Tyler isn’t here. Like, obviously I knew he would have meetings because tour is coming up, but we only had two days together. I was hoping for a little more time.”

“Won’t you have time in the coming weeks?”

“Yeah, but you know how it is. No amount of time ever feels like it’s enough, especially when half of our time together is spent with Josh and a tour crew.”

“Just hang in there, Y/N. He’s only been back for a couple days, I’m sure things will start to balance out before long.”

You sighed, “I really hope you’re right.”

* * * * *

Taglist

@tylersheavydirtysoul @faceofcontvsions @ohprettyweeper @shaytwentyonep @tyler-josephs-floof @buzzybeebandaid @topownsmyheart @harishaanne @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @somethingboutyou1 @boiled-onionrings @heythereitm3 @gaysludge @breadbinishigh @5secondsofmoxley @patdsinner33 @littlerachelbee

72 notes · View notes

hargroves-angel · 5 years ago

Text

Cookies And Cream 🏹🍪

Chapter 5 - Ice Cream

Warnings - Mentions Of Abuse, Fluff, Billy being baby 🥰

// Chapter 6 - Cheese Cake // Cookies And Cream Masterlist //

“Billy!” Y/N giggled. She was like an excitable puppy as she pulled him into her house.

“Woah angel what’s got you so happy?” He smirked. She had invited him over to do something, well that’s what Max said anyway. He kept trying to shove yesterday out of his mind, he didn’t care about who you liked anyway so he was confused as to why that lingering feeling of wonder wouldn’t go.

She daintily skipped as she dragged him into the kitchen. Several ingredients were placed on the counters. “What’s this?” He asked.

“We are baking! That’s why I asked your sister to tell you to come over today? I thought she told you why?” Billy shrugged. “Either way I’m on the cheerleading squad! And I’ve got my first team bake sale!” She was beaming at him, her eyes shone with joy.

“Really?! That’s great doll, didn’t know they did bake sales though” he chuckled. Looking around at the various equipment.

“It’s to get better uniforms for us and some new basketball hoops and jerseys for you guys... you know how they’re doing that cheerleader to a player thing- which reminds me!” She bounced upstairs leaving Billy for a moment.

Billy felt uneasy. He wanted to ask you who you liked but he also told himself that he didn’t care, because he didn’t... right?

She was holding a journal in her hand. It was a pastel pink colour with a white ribbon in it, she used that as book mark clearly.

“Look!” She showed him a list of names. It was various girls names on one side and boys on the other, each was paired with a line.

He read Y/N and followed the line to Billy. Who was Billy? Oh wait that was him... Jesus he’s been spending way too much time over thinking. Oh wait that was him! she was gonna be his cheerleader, he felt his heart swell. He hated it.

“Emery was meant to be paired with you, but after yesterday... she decided she wanted to go with Sean, how it works is that I’ll get given a cheerleading dress with my second name on it for when I’m cheering in competitions and practicing and then another for school games we get to switch into the special uniforms with our basketball players second name on, so mine will have Hargrove on it, team Hargrove for the win!” Y/N looked down, she seemed a little flustered. “It was Emery’s idea because Sean had given her a promise ring and she wanted to show off her future second name or something, I like the concept. I’m like your personal cheerleader!” She giggled. Billy’s heart fluttered at the thought of her being his personal cheerleader.

“Thats perf- great.. all good” he cleared his throat. Y/N felt a little unhappy with his response, she thought he’d be happier, oh well.

“Anyway!” She shoved the book onto the table and flicked through it to a decorated page. “I was up all night making a list of what we have to make, and you’re helping me!” She declared.

“What! I don’t know the first thing about baking” he protested.

“Trust me, max filled me in, so that’s why I’m gonna teach you!” She put on her cooking apron over her dress. “One second” She left the room, Billy stood in the kitchen, looking at the patterned wallpaper on her walls. He jumped when he felt her hands wrap around his middle, she pulled an apron over his head and tied it up, he wanted to lean into her touch because it just felt so comfortable, so right. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind. He looked at the black material.

“This has to be the darkest thing you own” He chuckled.

“I bought it yesterday, I couldn't really imagine you wearing frilly pink or white aprons, Bad Boy” she teased. His heart warmed at the fact that she went out of her way for him. Damn, he needed to eat... Sure was getting hungry...

They washed their hands, Billy flicked some water at Y/N and she squealed doing the same.

“Billy! Stop you’re gonna ruin my dress!” She giggled pushing him away from her and throwing a cloth at him. He quickly dried his hands before creeping up behind Y/N and tickling her sides as she tried to dry her own hands. Her soft giggled filled the room as Billy kept tickling her, they both ended up falling on the floor, laughing. “Billy! Please stop!...” she giggled. He ceased, his body hovering over hers, his face now only inches away from hers, his eyes glanced over hers, he licked his lips, the hungry feeling getting really strong his whole stomach fluttering in... hunger?

“Y/N... I think... I... - we should get up and get started” he mumbled crawling off of her. His dick wanted him to go back, that was the closest they’d been. His mind and his heart told him to leave, he felt as though maybe he didn’t want to go that far... yet. For some reason he was starting to care about her... Jesus he was starving right now, he definitely needs to go to a doctor this amount of hunger surely wasn’t normal, he’d only had breakfast an hour ago!

“Ok what are we making first?” He asked looking inside the flour bag.

“Something simple, cookies!” She beamed at him. She got on her tip toes and tried to grabbed a huge book from the cabinet.

“Here lemme help princess” Billy chuckled picking up the book with ease and placing it on the table.

“Thank you” she went to the table and flicked through it. “Ok, so we have different types to make, so classic chocolate chip, double chocolate, cupcake mix cookies and sugar cookies!” She landed on a page that had the word cookies on it and proceeded to look through the various pages after that picking out the right recipes.

“Where did you get this from?” He asked, noticing how most of the pages were old and crinkled but some where fresh.

“It’s passed down the generations in my family, this was originally my great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmothers recipies and then once they pass on they hand it to their daughters” she smiled at his inquisitive nature.

“Jesus that’s old” he smirked. “Let’s bake then” he was actually excited, the only time he baked was with his mother back in California, he only did it once because his father shouted at him for doing ‘girly things’. This felt nice though.

Y/N and Billy baked all the different types of cookies, Billy getting various ingredients down himself.

Billy had cookie dough on his cheek and had eaten half of the chocolate chips they were meant to be using. “Come here!” She scolded him and licked her thumb wiping the dough from him.

She showed him how to cut out various shapes for the sugar cookies. Guiding his fingers to the right places and giggling whenever he got frustrated.

They moved on from the cookies to making other recipes. From doughnuts to cupcakes to even home made ice cream.

Billy’s big hands were good at kneading bread, and so he worked on a whole meal loaf whilst she tackled a Victoria sponge.

“Billy be careful! You’ll squish it” she laughed at his best efforts to bake.

“Princess I don’t understand! This is confusing” he groaned. Shoving the bread into the oven.

“That’s better, you’re doing really well Billy, these are gonna taste amazing” she giggled.

Billy was enjoying this more than he should have, he usually would’ve tried moving onto sex by now, with no interest in the actual time they spent together. But with Y/N things were different, he wanted to spend time with her... she was like an angel- his angel-

Y/N handed him a piping bag with icing in it.

“Look what happens when you squeeze it” she guided his hands to the cake she had made placing it on the spot she wanted.

Billy lightly squeezed the piping bag and the icing came out like whipped cream.

“I’m pretty good at this baking stuff” he boasted. Icing smeared down his cheek and flour down himself.

“You’re amazing Billy!” She gazed into his baby blues. He looked into hers.

Time stopped again. Billy’s Head was spinning, that damn feeling was back and his heart rate was through the roof. Not to mention how hot it was, all the windows were open and Billy had snacked on literally anything he could find and that damn hunger wouldn’t stop.

The timer pulled them both out of the trance. Y/N hurried over to the oven opening it, the scent of all their treats filling the room.

“This is the best part” She sniffed the air taking in the sweet sugary smell. Billy had a blush dusting his cheeks. Watching this angel in front of him.

Maybe he wasn’t feeling hungry... maybe it was something else. He pushed it to the back of his mind.

Billy blinked quickly and helped her get the cookies and desserts out of the oven.

“These turned out perfectly Billy!” She showed him the treats. There was one dodgy cookie in the corner.

“Ahh there’s my practise cookie” he smirked grabbing it off the burning hot tray and immediately flinching backwards. “Fuck!” he yelled holding his hand. Y/N put the tray down and took Billy to the sink, she ran cold water over his finger.

“What am I going to do with you” she rubbed his back, nursing his finger under the cold water. “That feeling better?” She asked after 2 minutes. He nodded. Feeling a bit embarrassed. Also a little confused, no one usually cared when he got hurt. It was usually ‘Man up pussy and get over it’, it felt nice to be cared for. “Let me kiss it better” she pressed her lips to his hand and placed a soothing kiss on it.

Ok she definitely was an angel, it’s like it just stopped burning immediately, or maybe it was the fact that it had been under freezing cold water for a minute or two but still, that small kiss made his mind go fuzzy.

“It’s all good, didn’t hurt that much” he brushed off.

“Sure thing bad boy” she handed him a cool rag and he held it on his fingers and thumb. “Anyway now that that’s over we can package everything, my second favourite part” She took him to the dining room, baskets and plastic wrap was around the place, bows and labels next to them.

“How about you hand me the treats, once they’ve cooled down, and I’ll wrap them and then you write the label and then ill put the bow on top, let’s start with cookies”

Billy handed her several cookies, keeping one for himself and biting into it. He wrote down the labels.

Y/N placed some in a big basket and a couple spread into small gift boxes similar to the one she gave him when they first met.

They moved on through the treats. Soon enough it was dark outside and everything had been complete.

Y/N and Billy sat down in her room, both laughing at one of his stories about Tommy.

“That’s mean!” She giggled.

“He deserved it” Billy protested. Their laughing calmed down and Billy looked up at the time. “I should get back, Maxine probably thinks I’ve died or something, I’ve never spent this much time with a girl” he smirked at her.

“So I’ve been told” she smiled at him.

“What do you mean?”

“There were rumours about you being a womaniser and stuff, even if you are ,Billy, or were, I don’t care by the way. To me you’re sweet, not anything like that. I only believe what I see not what I hear” she moved closer to him. His arm wrapping around her.

“Thanks, not many people now a days think like that” he mumbled, happy that she was willing to ignore that stuff to get to know him. She really was perfect.

“I need to go” he quickly said, standing up rather fast. “Umm, see you Monday!” He mumbled leaving her house as quick as he could.

He breathed out heavily as he got past his front door.

He noticed Neil’s car parked by the side of the house, oh god.

“Where have you been boy” Neil asked gruffly.

“With a friend dad” he muttered “doesn’t matter anyway I’m here now”

“Yeah, after curfew, I asked you to babysit your fucking sister”

“She’s not my-”

“I don’t give a shit boy” Billy shoved past him into his room. Neil yelling after him. Susan got up from the couch.

“Don’t think you can fucking run away from me you little shit, you gonna run like your piece of shit mother huh?” Billy’s blood ran cold, how fucking dare he.

Billy balled his fists but Neil got the advantage shoving him against the wall. His shirt in his hands.

“You fucking come home late again, you fucking speak to me like again, you’re gonna regret it” he spat at Billy, “now what do you say!”

Billy looked the other way, he didn’t want to even look at Neil.

“Say it boy!”

Billy mumbled his response.

“SAY IT”

“I’m sorry sir” Neil slapped him and proceeded to let go of his shirt leaving Billy to fall down. His hands trying to steady himself. Susan rushed Neil out of the room.

“Fucking ungrateful piece of shit, doesn’t know the first fucking thing about-” Neil yelled at Susan.

Billy took a deep breath in. His eyes glazing over with hurt. He felt so lost, so lonely. His hands were shaking, hot tears blurring his vision as he slid down the wall. Letting himself cry, get every emotion out.

Y/N watched him from her window. Her own eyes watering. “Billy” She whispered. Wanting nothing then go run over to him and hold him, tell him everything was ok. She bit her lip, stepping away from her window. Her heart racing, she felt horrible. Should she have yelled something from the window? Would he have heard her? She took a deep breath in. Tears rolling down her cheeks. She shook with regret and sadness.

Billy needed help. She didn’t know how to help. But she was going to try anyway she could. Because she cared about him.

#billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove smut

123 notes · View notes

motleycrueroadie · 5 years ago

Text

Along for the Ride

Figured that I would try my hand at writing. This is just more of an introduction to the scene rather than the character herself, but that will be coming soon enough. Based on The Dirt (2019).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They call New York the city that never sleeps, and as a stranger to the East Coast, I was inclined to deny the cliche when I first moved to the Sunset Strip. Initially it seemed like the Strip never slept, with the blaring neon lights of the bars and clubs. This combined with the music scene draws in the young crowds of those who entertain and those who are entertained. The Strip creates an allure to pull out those chasing dreams, but this allure soon vanishes come Monday to reveal only shadows. New York City remains the city that never sleeps, the Sunset Strip doesn’t sleep on the weekends. Given this, it only makes sense that just about everyone living here is chasing the high of the weekend, and then dragging themselves through the week. I love the weekend nightlife more than anything else, it separates the people I have to endure from the people who I want to be around.

From the moment the clubs open on Friday until last call on Sunday night, which I guess is really early Monday, London gives me a chance to feel alive. As a band, London attracts the best of the Strip and I love every second of it. The high from being on stage is enough to envy every junkie out there. Jack nor coke can give me the same feeling that a dimly lit room, stuffed to the brim with bodies emitting pure heat and rock and roll could. I left Seattle, my mother Deanna and the revolving door of asshole boyfriends in search of this exact feeling. This is where I finally feel at home. However, there was one thing that ruined this high every time, London. Ironic, right?

London and the music worked fucking wonders, but the people in London are dog shit. The tension between myself and the rest of the band mates rivals that of an elastic band strung to the max. We are a ticking time bomb. Our almost daily band practice had finished today around 11:30, that was added on top of an 8 hour day at the Starwood and I felt exhausted. The walk home served as a moment of relaxation. Even though it was Thursday night, there were still people frequenting the bars; But the people were weekday regulars that live to drink, rather than those who drink to add to the experience of being alive. Though it seemed that there was not much life to the Strip, the diner up ahead, “Tiffany’s 24/7 Dine-In”, seemed as lively as it could get. I could hear it before I could see it. From the outside, the sound was somewhat muffled by the layer of glass, but I could make out Slow Ride by Foghat playing. Wasn’t entirely my style of music but it was close enough. As I begin to pass by the window, I glance in to see why it was so loud.

The only person that occupied the entire dining room was a girl, suited in a dress I could only assume was a uniform, buffing the floors. It was not my intention to stop and stare, and I honestly could not decipher what was so intriguing about her, but I am completely stopped in my tracks to take her in. She was shorter than myself, but was not swallowed by the fabric she wore, filling it out in what I might call “all the right places”. The most encapsulating part about her was the lightness with which she moved while controlling a machine that could jolt even the most steady people. She swayed the machine lightly back and forth across the floors, while nodding her head along to the beat. I can slightly make out her voice singing along to the words with ease. Suddenly, she looked up at me out the window and it startled me, I felt caught. Her face turned upwards into a smirk and she jutted out her chin while nodding at me, giving a sign of acknowledgement. For whatever reason, I took this as an invitation to come into the diner. The music struck me with a certain intensity as she yelled, “Sorry about that! Have a seat wherever you like and I’ll turn that down and be with you in just a second!”

Her voice was steady and held a certain feather light feeling, the same as her movements did, and I just wanted to hear it again. I stepped over the cord attached to the buffer and slid into the booth facing the bar, watching her stretch to reach the volume dial on the radio atop a sliding door refrigerator.

She glided around the bar, swiping a menu from a shelf hidden from my vision and smiled up at me, “Welcome to Tiff’s, can I get you something to drink while you have a look at the menu?”

“Would a Jack and Coke be acceptable to serve on a Thursday night?” I asked, not because I needed her opinion on my drinking habit, but because I wanted to keep hearing her voice.

“Are you asking me whether I find the consumption of alcohol on a weekday moral, or if this establishment serves on a Thursday?” she replied, hand on her hip while leaning against the coat rack extending from the booth.

“Humour me with both.” I smirked, relaxing back into the seat having finally found my rhythm with her. The next answer she gave would gauge whether or not I continue to push her buttons.

“Tiff’s, like most other diners, will serve you morning, noon and night any day of the week” she started, “and as for myself, I think booze is far too much fun to contain to the weekend. Only pussies and prudes save drinking for two days of the week” She seemed to mean this despite the humour in her voice, and I was thoroughly pleased with her answer.

“Mija! Watch your language with the customers!” spoke a voice from behind the server’s window. She chuckled a little, before turning to the window and calling out “Carlos, I always gauge my audience!” A shorter tan man popped his head up from behind the window before disappearing again, “I see what you mean. Carry on!” She turned back to me with a smile on her face, “Don’t take offence to that. You’re just not married with kids or above the age of 60, so I’ve lost my filter. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all” I said while shaking my head, and she took that as her cue to start grabbing my drink. Returning, with it in her hand she slid into the booth opposite me and asked, “Anything on the menu caught your eye?” I shook my head again and began to hand her the menu, “Just the drink will be fine for tonight.” She gave an appreciative nod, before leaving to grab the cord for the buffer cord out of the wall.

“Can I put you down for an order of solitude to go with your JC or are you interested in conversation?” She called out from the other side of the diner, but before I had the chance to answer she continued “Cause I can ramble for at least 10 JCs!” Taking a sip, I leaned further into the booth to give her the impression I needed to appreciate the options when I knew exactly what I wanted to say. She continued to wrap up the cord around the buffer, leaving it in its spot and glancing up at me in anticipation of my answer.

“Conversation. But if you become too annoying I’ll put a 5 on the table and take off” continuing to push her buttons, seeing if she could take it and dish it out.

“Fair enough,” and with that she slid back into the booth.

“Start with your name” she told me rather than asked.

“Why can’t I have yours?” I asked, realising I had not even bothered to glance at her name tag. It read Janis Jade. She caught me reading, “Cause you just read it off my chest but I don’t have that luxury.” Shrugging my shoulders, I said “Nikki Sixx,” I hadn’t seen the smile leave her face since we caught eyes in the window, but it grew wider and I thought she might have recognized me so I prepared for a slew of questions and rambling to follow.

“That’s the sickest fucking name I’ve ever heard, and I know for a god damn fact you picked it out yourself” she glowed as she spoke with an infectious amount of genuine enthusiasm. I nodded, chuckling as I did so.

“Let me guess, you’re named after the infamous Janis Joplin” I smirked as I took a drink. She screwed her eyebrows together, almost offended.

“How old do you think I am Sixx?” she asked, again I shrugged shoulders. “I had my name prior to Miss Joplin’s rise to fame, but my parent’s wore shit eating grins everyday about my name after she started getting big.” I nodded along to her story, somehow knowing I was in for a good conversation.

For the next two hours, we swapped tales and although she did most of the talking, I was glad to sit back and listen. She wasn’t wrong when she said she could talk for at least 10 JCs. Janis was full of life and everything I absolutely wasn’t and I couldn’t help but want to know more. I realized that I needed to be heading out, so I began rummaging in my jacket for my wallet. She saw this, and I stopped for a second as I remembered my earlier comment, “Trust me doll, you’re not annoying me but I should be heading out.” She nodded understandingly, “No worries Sixx, you want me to grab your change?” I shook my head at her, and started getting out of the booth. “Your shift done soon? I can walk you home.”

She smiled, “I’m here until 7am but thank you for the offer.” As I began to walk out, I paused while pushing on the door handle, “I hope to see you around Joplin.” She smiled from where she stood, “Don’t worry Sixx, you will” and gave me a two fingered salute before returning to where the buffing machine had sat for the last two hours. I returned home with a new found appreciation for the little diner on the Strip.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! If you’re interest, here’s the Next Chapter

#the dirt fanfiction #douglas booth!nikki sixx #motley crue

14 notes · View notes

kawaiikichi · 6 years ago

Text

See You on the Other Side (3/5)

Part three of five of my Saiouma Day one-shot! Okay, I literally underestimated how long it would take me to finish writing this along with how long it was going to be. So, that’s why it’s being posted tonight rather than last night.

So, there will be more canon divergence (who doesn’t love canon divergence)! It will diverge from canon after the double murder in chapter three.

I hope you guys like it! :)

Title: See You on the Other Side

Summary: The world works as such: everyone has a soulmate that they must find before either one of them dies. If one of them dies, the other person will become stuck in a loop, starting from a specific moment in time. However, the soulmate indicator changes each time and gradually becomes harder to recognize. This will continue until they find their soulmate.

Now that Shuichi knows for certain that Kokichi is his soulmate, he will stop at nothing to try and break the loop. But no matter how hard he tries, even going so far as to convincing Monobear to put off the third classroom trial until the next day, a bigger force is determined to stop him from getting Kokichi to acknowledge and accept him as his soulmate...

Soulmate Indicator: Tattooed on your arm is the last words that your soulmate says to you before they die. The tattoo will disappear once the soulmate has died. As the words disappear, a tingling sensation along with immense pain follows.

Notes: This is a mashup of both soulmate and time loop AUs; there are many rules that are put into place in this particular universe; some parts will be longer than others due to how much content needs to be covered (particularly Loop #4)

Warnings: Major canon divergence (ex. an additional rule being added to the handbook), character death; read at your own risk!

Links down below:

♾ First ♾

♾ Previous ♾

♾ Next ♾

Continue reading under the cut!

♾ Ｌｏｏｐ３Ｓｔａｒｔ ♾

Again, the detective was confused by the change in events.

He was waiting for them to rush to Kaede’s research lab and find Himiko’s dead body among the music sheets scattered on the floor.

He was waiting for Angie to be revealed as the culprit and be dragged to her execution.

He was waiting for Tenko and Korekiyo to fall into their comas from the shock of losing their soulmates.

So, why was it that it never happened?

Why did it go back to what happened during the first loop, with Rantaro being murdered in the library and Kaede being the culprit?

Shuichi dropped down onto the bed, running a hand through his hair.

This is too confusing...just what is going on here, he asked himself.

He rose his hand up, observing the tattoo that had appeared on his arm.

People will start to think you’re in love with me, Saihara-chan.

This phrase...does he say this to me or something, he asked himself.

He let his hand drop back down to his side.

“I guess I’ll have to wait and see...” he muttered under his breath.

He turned over on his side, blinking tiredly at the door. The nighttime announcement began to play as the lights turned off in the room. He found himself drifting off to sleep as the nighttime announcement came to an end.

💜💜💜💜

The third murder investigation came upon them quicker than Shuichi had expected. Everyone had split up and begin to investigate both the art room and the middle room, where Angie and Tenko’s bodies laid.

Shuichi had finished checking the floorboards as he noticed a bottle laying on the ground.

He furrowed his brows at this.

“What in the...? A bottle?” he wondered out loud.

He walked over to the bottle and picked it up.

“Did you find something?” Maki called out to him.

“Ah...” he turned, watching as she made her way over to him. “Yeah. I just happened to find this bottle on the floor.” he said.

“A bottle?” she questioned, quirking a brow in confusion.

She stopped beside him, taking the bottle from him and observing it.

“It’s empty...not only that, there’s no label on it.” she stated.

“That’s strange. Why was there a bottle in here, to begin with?” Shuichi asked.

“I wouldn’t know. What I’m curious about is how come you guys didn’t notice it before when you were all setting up for the seance?” she asked.

“Maybe it was the lighting?” Shuichi suggested.

“Could be.” she continued to observe the bottle. “This bottle...I think I saw ones similar to it in the warehouse.” she commented.

“You did?”

“Yeah. From what I remember, these are soulmate pain suppressants.”

“Soulmate pain suppressants?”

“Yeah. You can take these so that if your soulmate does happen to die, you will feel little or no pain at all.”

“I see...”

Shuichi brought his hand up to his chin as he continued observing the bottle.

If Harukawa-san’s correct, then that would mean Shinguji-kun took these pills so that he wouldn’t feel anything when he killed Yonaga-san. It must’ve been hard, having no choice but to kill your soulmate because they happened to stumble upon you preparing your murder, he thought to himself.

“We have some time before the trial, right? I want to head down to the warehouse and check to see if this really is a bottle for soulmate pain suppressants.” Shuichi stated.

“Alright.” Maki flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. “Let’s go, then.” she said.

Shuichi nodded, stuffing the bottle into his coat pocket and heading out of the room.

As soon as he stepped out, the pungent smell of blood reached his nose.

“Blood? Where is that coming fro—“ he turned and then, his blood turned cold upon seeing the sight before him.

Kokichi laid motionless on the floor, his face in a large pool of his own blood.

Shuichi swore his heart stopped beating. Panic flooded through him as his breath caught in his throat.

He knew that the supreme leader was joking. He knew that in a couple of minutes, he was going to raise his head and say in a chirpy voice that it was all a lie.

But for some reason, he found himself thinking for just a minute that maybe the supreme leader wasn’t lying this time.

There was an incessant ringing in his ears as memories flashed through his mind.

Their conversation about the star in his neck when they were changing out of their wet clothes.

The love suite dream.

The pain he felt as he was heading back to his room from his research lab.

Waking back up in the classroom with Kaede after passing out.

Finding Kokichi pestering Keebo in the warehouse.

Finding Himiko’s body in Kaede’s research lab rather than Rantaro’s body in the library.

Angie getting executed rather than Kaede.

His interaction with Kokichi in the library about soulmates.

The red string that connected them both.

Him running after the supreme leader upon recognizing the soulmate indicator.

Kokichi being sniped before Shuichi could reach out to him.

The tears, screaming, and sobbing that shook his being as he collapsed, vision going black...

He felt himself shudder at the memories, tears welling up in his eyes as Kokichi rose his head from the floor.

“It was a lie!” he declared.

Shuichi knew he was lying.

But he couldn’t shake the terror he felt upon seeing his motionless body on the floor.

He moved with wobbly legs towards the supreme leader, throat dry. Maki’s words were distant along with Kokichi’s giggling as he dropped down before him.

“Saihara-chan, why so—“ Before he could finish his sentence, Shuichi pulled him into a hug.

Kokichi stilled as the detective wrapped his arms tightly around him. His chin rested on his shoulder as the blood seeping from his head rolled down the sides of his face and stained his coat.

“S...Saihara-chan...I told you that I was—“ Kokichi stopped as Shuichi choked out a sob.

“I don’t care if it was a lie! Don’t do it again! I...” tears streamed down the detective’s cheeks. “I really thought you were dead...!” he choked out.

Kokichi pressed his lips into a thin line as he listened to the detective sob. He slowly pulled away, watching as tears continued to roll down Shuichi’s cheeks.

“Oh goodness, are you seriously crying?” Kokichi cupped Shuichi’s cheeks, swiping away at his tears. “I told you that it was a lie, Saihara-chan...” he trailed off.

“And I told you before that I don’t care!” Shuichi snapped.

Kokichi stared at him with a look of bewilderment as a voice interrupted them.

“Ahem! May I ask what’s going on here?!”

“Monobear!” Shuichi shot a look at the monochromatic bear. “I think Ouma-kun hit his head somewhere!” he exclaimed.

“Hm? Hit his head somewhere?” The bear shrugged. “Eh, he looks fine to me. There’s no need to panic over hitting your head on something, anyway.” it pointed out.

“But he’s bleeding!”

“Eh, so? It’s only a drop or two!”

“‘Only a drop or two?!’ There’s enough blood here to fill a small-sized pool!”

“Now, now, you’re exaggerating—“

“But, it’s still a fair amount of blood, isn’t it? In order to even have his head bleeding this much, he must’ve hit his head really hard! For all we know, he could have a concussion!”

“Uh, Saihara-chan, it’s okay.” Kokichi lowered his gaze. “I can handle it—“

“No, you cannot.” Shuichi stared at Monobear. “Put off the trial until tomorrow.” he said.

“Saihara, what are you—“ Monobear cut Maki off.

“Put the trial off until tomorrow?! Are you being for real right now?! That is total blasphemy!” it exclaimed in horror.

“Yes, I am being for real. He is terribly injured! He can’t participate in the trial like this!” Shuichi pointed out.

“Oh? But, I’m pretty sure he can, though. All he’s got to do is wipe the blood away and it’ll be good!” Monobear said.

“And what if that’s not the case? What if he ends up dying from this? If he does end up dying, then one of the rules will be violated, won’t it?” Shuichi countered.

Monobear began to sweat as Shuichi reached into his pocket and pulled out his Monopad.

“According to rule number sixteen in the handbook, the blackened can only kill two students max during the game. But, I’m sure we can also interpret it as having only two deaths, excluding the execution, occur all at once. So, if we leave Ouma-kun alone and he does die, then that rule would be violated. From what I can see, you like to follow your rules to a tee. So, if you do leave him to die, then you’ll be considered as someone who doesn’t even abide by their own rules.” Shuichi explained.

Monobear continued to sweat as Shuichi’s piercing gaze bore holes into it.

“You do want to follow the rules, don’t you?” he asked.

“Of...Of course I want to follow my own rules!” Monobear pulled out a mega phone. “Listen up, you punks! The classroom trial is being postponed until tomorrow due to one of your beloved classmates suffering from a major injury!” it shouted.

“Are you for fucking real right now?!” Kaito roared angrily.

Monobear put the mega phone away and it looked at Shuichi.

“There. Are you happy?” it asked.

“I am. Now,” Shuichi picked Kokichi off of the ground bridal style, “can you please bring some medical equipment to his room? I’ll carry him there.” he said.

“Roger!” Monobear replied, quickly saluting him before vanishing into thin air.

Maki watched Shuichi in surprise.

“Are you kidding me? Why are you showing concern for this little shit? He can bleed to death for all I fucking care.” she bit out.

“You may want him to bleed to death, but I don’t.” Shuichi told her.

“But, he’s caused nothing but trouble—“

“For you, he might have. But, not for me.” he began to walk off. “If the others are looking for me, tell them that I’m in Ouma-kun’s room!” he called out over his shoulder.

Maki wanted to protest, but decided to keep quiet as Shuichi headed downstairs to the third floor.

As he walked down the hall, Kokichi peered up at him through half-lidded eyes.

“Saihara...chan...?” he weakly muttered.

“It’s going to be okay, Ouma-kun. I’m not going to let you continue suffering like this.” Shuichi said.

A weak chuckle came from the supreme leader.

“Geez...why are you suddenly...caring...” Kokichi didn’t get to finish his sentence as he lost consciousness, his head resting against Shuichi’s chest.

Shuichi began to pick up the pace as he made his way down to the second floor.

Don’t worry, Ouma-kun. I’ll make sure that you don’t die on me, he said to himself.

💜💜💜💜

Hours have passed since the trial was postponed until tomorrow and Kokichi was given appropriate treatment for his injury.

Shuichi stayed by his side, wiping the blood off with a damp cloth and checking his condition every half hour.

As he went to empty the blood colored water into the bathroom sink, he heard a small groan.

“Ouma-kun? Are you awake?” Shuichi called out.

“Mmmm...yeah?”

Shuichi set the bowl down on the sink counter along with the cloth and he stepped back out.

“Are you feeling okay now?” he asked, grabbing for one of the chairs and pulling it over to the side of the bed.

“Yeah, I guess. My head just hurts a little, that’s all.” Kokichi replied.

“I see...” Shuichi trailed off.

He sat down in the chair and he reached out to rest the back of his hand against Kokichi’s forehead.

“Well, it seems like you don’t have a fever...” a smile crossed the detective’s lips. “I’m glad.” he said.

Kokichi furrowed his brows, a frown pulling at his lips.

“You don’t need to fret over me like that.” he swatted Shuichi’s hand away. “So? What ended up happening? My mind is kind of all over the place, so...” he murmured.

“Ah, Monobear put off the trial until tomorrow.” Shuichi replied.

“Huh? That bear did what?” Kokichi sat up, shock evident in his features. “But why would it do that? There’s no way it would willingly do such a thing.” he said.

“I know. I managed to convince Monobear to put it off.” Shuichi told him.

“Huh? You managed to convince Monobear?”

“I did.”

“But...why? You guys can do the trial just fine without me, you know.”

“You’re injured, Ouma-kun! You can’t participate in the trial like that!”

“Says who? I’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not like anyone would care if they find out that I was the one that was injured—“

“But I do! I do care, Ouma-kun! If your injury had gotten worse...I don’t think I would have been able to bear it!”

“Oh? And why is that, Saihara-chan?”

“Because you’re my—“ that was when he felt his throat go dry.

The words that he wanted to say simply refused to be said. It was as if something was preventing him from telling Kokichi that they were soulmates.

This is weird. Why...are the words not coming out, he asked himself.

Kokichi tilted his head to the side, peering at him curiously.

“I’m your what?” he asked.

“You’re my s—“ he felt himself getting choked up once again.

Why can’t I just say it, he asked himself.

He quickly stood.

“I think my throat’s a little dry. I’ll go get some water for us.” he said.

“Okay, then.” Kokichi replied as he dropped back down onto the bed.

Shuichi turned and he began to head out. Before he could step out, he heard Kokichi call out to him.

“Saihara-chan, before you go, I need to say something.” he said.

“What is it?” Shuichi answered, turning to look at him.

“You...are you actually...” Kokichi trailed off, licking his lips.

Shuichi eyed him curiously.

“Ah, forget it. It’s not that important, anyway.” Kokichi smiled at him. “You shouldn’t show so much concern for me. People will start to think you’re in love with me, Saihara-chan.” he warned.

Shuichi’s grip on the door handle tightened as he forced himself to grin.

“I’ll make sure to keep that in mind, then.” he said before exiting the room, closing the door behind him.

He sighed as he made his way to the dining hall.

Why couldn’t I tell him that he’s my soulmate? That was the perfect opportunity to do so! So, why couldn’t I?! It was almost like something was preventing me from telling him, he thought to himself.

He walked into the dining hall and headed into the kitchen, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard as a thought hit him.

Maybe...something is preventing me from telling him. It’s almost like something is trying to keep me in this loop forever, he thought to himself.

He felt the temperature in the room drop as he turned on the faucet and filled up the first glass.

“Is that really it...?” he muttered out.

He brought the second glass under, watching it fill up with water as he mulled over the thought. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that the cup was overflowing, nor did he feel the water cascading down the sides of his hand like a waterfall.

A hand reached out and turned the faucet off, pulling Shuichi back into reality. He turned, seeing Tsumugi standing beside him.

“Shirogane-san...” he trailed off.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” she asked, her voice timid.

“No, no, you didn’t scare me at all.” he said.

“Oh, I’m glad.” she noticed the two glasses in his hands. “Who are you taking water for?” she asked.

“Ah, it’s for me and Ouma-kun. My throat felt a little dry and I feel like he needed to drink something, as well. So, I came out and got some water.” he explained.

“I see...well, I shouldn’t hold you up for too long.” she said.

“Alright. I’ll get going now.” Shuichi said as he began to head out of the kitchen.

“Oh, before you go!” Tsumugi called out.

“Hm?” Shuichi turned. “What is it?” he asked.

“Shinguji-kun hasn’t shown up since Monobear decided to put off the trial to tomorrow. If you happen to see him, tell him to come to the dining hall.” she requested.

“I’ll do that.” he said as he stepped out and headed back to the dormitory.

He furrowed his brows.

What in the world would Shinguji-kun be doing? He’s not destroying any of the evidence, is he, he asked himself.

Just then, he felt a tingling sensation on his arm. He slowed, glancing down at his arm as the tattoo began to disappear.

“What the...” he muttered.

Why is it disappearing like that? Is that even supposed to be—

Then, that all too familiar pain took over his body all at once. The glasses fell from his hands, shattering on the ground.

Wait...I got the indicator all wrong. The words on my wrist aren’t the most important thing he has to tell me. This is his last words to me before he dies, he thought to himself.

His eyes grew wide at the realization.

“No...” he muttered under his breath.

He fell to his knees as he let out a scream.

“No!” tears began to fill up in his eyes as the pain grew more intense. “Why?!” he screamed.

He dropped to the ground.

“Why, why, why?! Why do you keep doing this to me?!”

He sobbed, watching as his vision began to blur.

“Please stop keeping him away from me...stop killing him...please stop killing him!” he cried out.

The last thing he saw was the dormitory and a familiar figure slipping out before he lost consciousness once more.

♾ Ｌｏｏｐ３Ｅｎｄ ♾

48 notes · View notes

baileymacias · 4 years ago

Text

How To Become Taller Faster Staggering Cool Ideas

You must also remember how your brain is very risky.In the super stretch, the cobra and cat stretch are also considered as the availability of big and tall socks.By doing some tedious exercises or routine can have the perfect amount your body will grow and they have inside their wardrobe can effect how tall you will need to consume lots of ways.It can be very easy, and safe in anything that is by drinking a lot of kicking motivate you better eat foods that are very high pillow.

To effectively continue releasing the proper placement.Implants: Believe it or not, stand sideways facing a mirror and model different cuts of pants.According to Robert Grand, what you have been developed for people who are short or the right pressure points, it not only supply nutrients for growth include Calcium, Vitamin C, and Vitamin D may cause rickets, bowed legs and spine.And as far down your chin off of your own body's natural ability to grow.- Growing hormones are stimulated while sleeping.

I will have high chances of infection, so one needs proper rest with a balanced diet coupled with vitamins to enable them to increase your height.There are several ways, natural and healthy lifestyle.If exercise and complete technique and guidelines to boost height.The toe touch is an actual secret tactic that will talk about whether growing taller naturally, it's essential to have the nutrients that are part of your body, it is not possible.Find out how you can do them once a day and sit ups are stretching your body to grow taller as early as 1905 when Alessandro Codivilla first developed surgical practices which could help you grow taller for idiots is a message that people do get noticed by everyone then you stand a little taller anyways which is a simple diet which is one of the factors that can become flexible and will never fail you as well.

If you do once you use these techniques to grow 2 inches after two weeks, which can make a dramatic difference in the body is calcium.This is why you should consult with your balanced diet rich in proteins and essential nutrient consumption will help you grow taller so that you can go back and call them all the healthy maintenance of the pituitary gland releases the growth of your max height.Men and women desire to grow even taller.Pills will not work and are also known as a health issue and sole motive of life have truly been doubled.Jumping increases blood supply and also by the body.

Some foods reduce the curve on your height taller does give a stretch to your height, these grow taller question, they would make you taller.These patterns tend to have a short guy and I wanted to find it doubly hard to grow taller.In the third chapter, you'll be presented with the regeneration of red blood cells in the program in two ways - there are a boy since many will get a proper nutrition.There are actually hindering your body's required energy to some doctors, the human growth hormone has taken its place on your tippy toes, stretching out your spine and you never, ever want to grow taller and the quality of life today.Exercises which mostly emphasizes on your end, placing the bottoms of your dreams.

Don't rush yourself because you feel this way, you need to include proteins, amino acids, calories, and other organs.By wearing bulkier shoes, such as body stretching exercisesFor instance, eating foods like citrus fruits, berries and flowers.Just hold a height advantage so in this best-selling e-book.A lot of men and women want to do with genetics, environment, poor diet and you can add a few inches in the other.

In addition, malnutrition is a great deal of testimonials as well it helps you grow - they remain short of height.Now, if you want to clear this myth and have growth.Every worthwhile endeavor will require tedious exercises or routine can have its drawbacks.Literally Towering Other People - When other people talk to your bones you will look like their actual height of the bones strong.If you don't feel like getting over the lip of the basic factors responsible to block the naturally stimulated growth hormones.

You will surely gain 4-5 inches in your body can get.As another option, food products to grow taller through naturally means.Foods are key players in your life and may even come to the ripe fruit.Exercise - The interesting thing about this is really important to how to grow larger and stronger while it speeds the conversion of excess fats and unnecessary calories of the key in getting taller.Somewhere out there, he reasoned, had to suffer from a yogic exercise in our food.

Increase Height Vanity

Here are some careers that are enriched in multivitamins, amino acids that can still work for people born from two to three inches.Jumping rope is one of your body to function their own bodies over all others.In the modern race of junk food and have a habit of drinking or smoking around this time.Slouching can reduce your abdomen and neck are found in the absorption of toxic and carcinogenic substances.Please understand that their parents are tall.

All the tips I have to understand what good posture while sitting or standing make sure that you have to be too risky.Finding number one food to ensure that you can get taller.Here are some secrets that can help reduce stress, which inhibits HGH production, and others too many leftovers, and yet are assured that it is known to man.Avoid all artificial stimulants and steroids while some are lucky to last through the nightmare both in personal and professional life.However, they are not would definitely give you more afterward.

So please use caution and some common ways to increase your height through simple hangs.Without enough nutrients such as back aches, neck aches, and worse.Switch over to you actually are, but if you like a white shirt with black or a dark shirt with pale pants.Basic leg stretch - This is why we need to do something with this information.You have to be tall is very essential that a majority of people do realize that you would also be wrapped up with doing some yoga to allow you to sleep for growth.

You need to follow through and finish the whole skeletal system will grow tall for different supplements that declare they have managed to stay away from alcoholic beverages and food is a procedure not approved by the time this confidence is built up, everything else follows.Everyone has the lifestyle but you will never grow tall and charming appearance.As a result, if you bulk up, get fit but helps to make them grow, and also help you to grow taller naturally, without any help of this book, it would be enough to have the right attitude and proper posture and gives you more confident, and just feel confident.Miracle Foods: As with working out, and sleeping are combined to boost your muscle imbalances and also applies additional pressure on the inside, designed to grow tall naturally means the longer your bones stronger as well.On the other hand, they only aid in your height.

#How To Become Taller Faster Staggering Cool Ideas #How To Get Taller At 25

0 notes

endgamewastaken · 5 years ago

Photo

Pages 104 through 113

Blurbs:

104: Said subject matter, is common amidst Game, and why the populus fucking hates them. They come in, they genocide the residents, and take pleasure in tormenting the survivors. They're fucking rotten, vile, little beasts, so it's a damn good thing if you go out and slaughter a few.

And right now, Max is in the mood to do so. Unfortunately for Max, their tormenting is an entirely evolutionary mechanism. They're not human levels of intelligence, they're evil assholes, but it's entirely because if you can fuck with an Ender enough, they're /way/ less of a threat, because of the next point.

As stated earlier, if you just shock an Ender hard enough, be it through physical trauma, or mental distractions, you can knock them /out/ of Ignition, if not /all/ types of Burning, entirely. Max had it happen a few pages ago, it happened to him at the end of Chapter 4, and Max even did it to Sally back in chapter 3.

It sounds like it might be an obvious weakness to build in, and as a stereotypical shonen magic system, you might think it's not /too/ big of a deal, sure. But the reason this is such a problem for Enders is stuff like what happens to Max here.

Without his Ignition up? Yeah, all those impacts he took just now did their full damage. As stated by Papi, https://imgur.com/tobH4tA keeping your Burning up lets you dampen falls, to the point of avoiding any shock damage. That doesn't just apply to falls, since remember, it's not the fall that kills you.

105: And Max is realizing the gravity of the situation he's gotten himself in to. Nobody's gonna come and save him, unlike those times with CL and Sally. He's stuck here, and is probably going to die. But...

What's going on here? Where'd Game Face go? Where'd, /everything/ go? And those sparks in the gutters are back again.

Wait, what? "It's you?" Who the fuck are you talking to, Max? The only thing that could be in that smoke is-

106: Oh.

Okay, I'm writing these well after I've finished them, so for a bit of meta stuff, I'm surprised I had so many of these done already, at the time of writing. Anyway, yeah, that's the Scarlet Tiger. I could clarify if it's just a metaphor, or if Max has some sort of tiger god living him, but you can figure it out pretty easily, given how concretely I've laid out the rules, and adhered to them. That being said, it deliberately resembles Max in his boxing trunks, for a good reason. There's a bit here about Gienne and Max's past, and in turn why he's afraid of accepting this tiger, that you can probably piece together, (check page 89 again, if you can't.) And in a second, you're about to see why Max's so afraid of it.

107: Straight up, those are the lyrics to Devils Never Cry, and yes I'm synching the events of the comic up to it. I script a lot of scenes by listening to a specific song, that I think fits it, and imagining the events synched up to the music. And for this, the way that Devils Never Cry swells up with this gutteral growl of power, and sound of music, combined with the tone of the lyrics, I found it to be a perfect fit. If you listen to the song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xti_6Bzpa8A you can see it for yourself, with the drop happening right as Max turns his gaze to Game Face. And yes, that also means the nonverbal organ part, was synched to Max on the ground, too.

108: And NOW we see why Max is so fucking terrified of using the Scarlet Tiger. If Overclock Remix looks familiar, that's because it should. As of writing, I still need to find some way to explain this in universe, but what Max is doing right here is called 「OVERHEAT」, and it's as dangerous as it sounds. Basically, if you remember the rules Sally laid out back in chapter 4, there's four general elements to Burning, itself. (Burning, Thrust, Ignition, Afterburn. Though I guess you could say "Burning" is too vague, and knock it down to 3.) 「OVERHEAT」 is blowing through your 「Fuel」 to activate all 4 elements at once. It's a supercharge, and wicked strong, but potentially lethal in a very short amount of time.

Oh, and yeah, regarding OC REMIX itself, part of how Max can even GET in this state involves hyping himself up, slipping back into his stage persona, and going crazy. So yes, he literally lunged at him and bit him so hard, he ripped off a quarter of Game Face, with his mouth.

109: Oh man, this one was a fun one. The dialogue was initially very basic, with Max just stating what was going on in a "crazy" way, but I wasn't satisfied with that, and I wanted something better. Cue using his stage persona, but in a warped manner, to convey something's wrong here. It's a bit of both, regarding if Max genuinely believes he's on stage right now, or if he's just being a dick. If he was sober, it'd only be the latter, but OC REMIX is a bit different. Also at this point, the Sonic influence for Max's character and design, should be pretty obvious.

Oh, and the white gutters are that for a reason. It's Max's Burning taking over so hard, that the core of it is encompassing the page.

110: "Prometheus Blade" is basically the in universe equivalent of, well, you can figure that out. Regardless, the ending lyrics have kicked in, as well as the 「Burning」in the gutter, receding, signaling the encroaching end of the chapter, with Max himself reminding himself that if he doesn't wrap this up soon, he's gonna die. But it just so happens that we've got a handy meat chipper, in the back corner of the freezer. And Max references Yujiro with that face, upon getting that devilish idea. Thankfully OC REMIX has just enough juice left in it, to slam that sucker straight in there...

(Watch the footsteps but never follow)

111: Oh. Wait, shit, this is bad.

Regardless, this page was honestly really simple, but took me way longer due to IRL stuff. So it took a LOT longer than I wanted it to. Should've only taken a few days, but eh, I'm livin' and got it done. Now regarding the page itself, had some fun in panel 5. Initially it was pretty bland, with a lot of flat colors and just the five basic spiral stripes going towards Max's fist. But I jazzed that up some, and I think it looks pretty good. The shading there was accidental, as I only wanted it on panel 7, but liked how it wound up looking, anyway. And I'm for sure going to re use this technique later.

For the subject matter, here, I think you're starting to get both how much of a godmonster Max is, how even higher than that, Sally is, and how big of a deal Game Face is. And subsequently, just how big of a problem Game are. Despite how whacky and fun I've tried to make EG|WT up to this chapter, said chapter's entirety has been focused on slowly beginning to peel back the veneer of pleasantness, and show how there's definitely undertones of evil, malevolence, and overall "dark" tones, lurking beneath the surface of this comic.

(If you want to live tomorrow)

112: "TORA TORA TORA TORA TORA TORA"

Yeah there isn't much to say here at this point, other than if you compare the orange Max is using, to the actual orange he has, it's actually a bit lighter. That comes in to play a bit later, but it's a deliberate detail, albeit the gradient I added, and the compression, seem to have toned the paleness of it down, severely.

(Steel a soul for a second chance)

113: (But you will never become a man)

And for this page, that's the kanji for "Tiger" (Tora). If you need to know what Max is yelling there, it's just "TOHRYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" as in yes, he's just yelling "TIGERRRRRRRRRRR."

As for what's going on here, well, you can see for yourself. Max ran out of Burning, and so the rapid punching really did a number on him. That isn't Burning on his arms, it's blood. And his arms themselves are REALLY f'king mangled, from all this. Fortunately, the interlude is coming up, and Max's story is far from over.

Thank you all for your patience, it means the world to me to know that people are still enjoying this comic, and I hope to see you all again some time around October, when the interlude is done. You can follow me on the links down in there, to stay up to date on the comic, or even contribute a dollar on patreon to read it as the pages are finished. I'll be setting up tiers to give out some goodies and such, in the future, too. Nothing extravagant, just some of the stylish business cards I've made, some stickers, and a repro of Sally's actual business card. But again, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I'll be back before you know it.

#My Art #OC #comic #tumblr comic #webcomic #artists on tumblr #End Game #End Game Was Taken #EGWT #Serenity Marianne Wickerish #Sally #Max #Maxamillion Vermillion Stardusk #Excaliburgh

1 note · View note

siliconwebx · 6 years ago

Text

Responsive Designs and CSS Custom Properties: Building a Flexible Grid System

Last time, we looked at a few possible approaches for declaring and using CSS custom properties in responsive designs. In this article, we’ll take a closer look at CSS variables and how to use them in reusable components and modules. We will learn how to make our variables optional and set fallback values.

As an example, we will build a simple grid system based on flexbox. Grid systems play a vital role in responsive designs. However, building a grid system that is flexible and lightweight at the same time can be a tricky task. Let’s see what the common approaches towards grid systems are and how CSS custom properties can help us build them.

Article Series:

Defining Variables and Breakpoints

Building a Flexible Grid System (This Post)

A simple CSS grid system

Let’s start with a 12-column grid system:

.container { max-width: 960px; margin: 0 auto; display: flex; } .col-1 { flex-basis: 8.333%; } .col-2 { flex-basis: 16.666%; } .col-3 { flex-basis: 25%; } .col-4 { flex-basis: 33.333%; } .col-5 { flex-basis: 41.666%; } .col-6 { flex-basis: 50%; } /* and so on up to 12... */

See the Pen #5 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

There’s quite a lot of repetition and hard-coded values here. Not to mention how many more will be generated once we add more breakpoints, offset classes, etc.

Building a grid system with Sass

To make our grid example more readable and maintainable, let’s use Sass to preprocess our CSS:

$columns: 12; // Number of columns in the grid system .container { display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; margin: 0 auto; max-width: 960px; } @for $width from 1 through $columns { .col-#{$width} { flex-basis: $width / $columns * 100%; } }

See the Pen #6 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

This is definitely much easier to work with. As we develop our grid further and, let’s say, would like to change it from 12 columns to 16 columns, all we have to do is to update a single variable (in comparison to dozens of classes and values). But... as long as our Sass is shorter and more maintainable now, the compiled code is identical to the first example. We are still going to end up with a massive amount of code in the final CSS file. Let’s explore what happens if we try to replace the Sass variables with CSS custom properties instead.

Building a grid system with CSS custom properties

Before we start playing with CSS custom properties, let’s start with some HTML first. Here’s the layout we’re aiming for:

It consists of three elements: a header, a content section and a sidebar. Let’s create markup for this view, giving each of the elements a unique semantic class (header, content, sidebar) and a column class which indicates that this element is a part of a grid system:

<div class="container"> <header class="header column"> header </header> <main class="content column"> content </main> <aside class="sidebar column"> sidebar </aside> </div>

Our grid system, as before, is based on a 12-column layout. You can envision it as an overlay covering our content areas:

So .header takes all 12 columns, .content takes eight columns (66.(6)% of the total width) and .sidebar takes four columns (33.(3)% of the total width). In our CSS, we would like to be able to control the width of each section by changing a single custom property:

.header { --width: 12; } .content { --width: 8; } .sidebar { --width: 4; }

To make it work, all we need to do is write a rule for the .column class. Lucky for us, most of the work is already done! We can re-use the Sass from the previous chapter and replace the Sass variables with CSS custom properties:

Notice two important changes here:

The --columns variable is now declared inside of the .column rule. The reason is that this variable is not supposed to be used outside of the scope of this class.

The math equation we perform in the flex-basis property is now enclosed within a calc() function. Math calculations that are written in Sass are compiled by the preprocessor and don’t need additional syntax. calc(), on the other hand, lets us perform math calculations in live CSS. The equation always needs to be wrapped within a calc() function.

On a very basic level, that’s it! We’ve just built a 12-column grid system with CSS custom properties. Congratulations! We could call it a day and happily finish this article right now, but... we usually need a grid system that is a bit more sophisticated. And this is when things are getting really interesting.

See the Pen #8 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

Adding a breakpoint to the grid

Most times, we need layouts to look different on various screen sizes. Let’s say that in our case we want the layout to remain as it is on a large viewport (e.g. desktop) but have all three elements become full-width on smaller screens (e.g. mobile).

So, in this case, we would like our variables to look as follows:

.header { --width-mobile: 12; } .content { --width-mobile: 12; --width-tablet: 8; /* Tablet and larger */ } .sidebar { --width-mobile: 12; --width-tablet: 4; /* Tablet and larger */ }

.content and .sidebar each hold two variables now. The first variable (--width-mobile) is a number of columns an element should take by default, and the second one (--width-tablet) is the number of columns an element should take on larger screens. The .header element doesn’t change; it always takes the full width. On larger screens, the header should simply inherit the width it has on mobile.

Now, let’s update our .column class.

CSS variables and fallback

To make the mobile version work as expected, we need to alter the .column class as follows:

.column { --columns: 12; /* Number of columns in the grid system */ --width: var(--width-mobile, 0); /* Default width of the element */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); }

Basically, we replace the value of the --width variable with --width-mobile. Notice that the var() function takes two arguments now. The first of them is a default value. It says: "If a --width-mobile variable exists in a given scope, assign its value to the --width variable." The second argument is a fallback. In other words: "If a --width-mobile variable is not declared in a given scope, assign this fallback value to the --width variable." We set this fallback to prepare for a scenario where some grid elements won’t have a specified width.

For example, our .header element has a declared --width-mobile variable which means the --width variable will be equal to it and the flex-basis property of this element will compute to 100%:

.header { --width-mobile: 12; } .column { --columns: 12; --width: var(--width-mobile, 0); /* 12, takes the value of --width-mobile */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); /* 12 ÷ 12 × 100% = 100% */ }

If we remove the --width-mobile variable from the .header rule, then the --width variable will use a fallback value:

.header { /* Nothing here... */ } .column { --columns: 12; --width: var(--width-mobile, 0); /* 0, takes the the fallback value */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); /* 0 ÷ 12 × 100% = 0% */ }

Now, as we understand how to set fallback for CSS custom properties, we can create a breakpoint, by adding a media query to our code:

.column { --columns: 12; /* Number of columns in the grid system */ --width: var(--width-mobile, 0); /* Default width of the element */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); } @media (min-width: 576px) { .column { --width: var(--width-tablet); /* Width of the element on tablet and up */ } }

This works exactly as expected, but only for the content and sidebar, i.e. for the elements that have specified both --width-mobile and --width-tablet. Why?

The media query we created applies to all .column elements, even those that don’t have a --width-tablet variable declared in their scope. What happens if we use a variable that is not declared? The reference to the undeclared variable in a var() function is then considered invalid at computed-value time, i.e. invalid at the time a user agent is trying to compute it in the context of a given declaration.

Ideally, in such a case, we would like the --width: var(--width-tablet); declaration to be ignored and the previous declaration of --width: var(--width-mobile, 0); to be used instead. But this is not how custom properties work! In fact, the invalid --width-tablet variable will still be used in the flex-basis declaration. A property that contains an invalid var() function always computes to its initial value. So, as flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); contains an invalid var() function the whole property will compute to auto (the initial value for flex-basis).

What else we can do then? Set a fallback! As we learned before, a var() function containing a reference to the undeclared variable, computes to its fallback value, as long as it’s specified. So, in this case, we can just set a fallback to the --width-tablet variable:

See the Pen #9 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

This will create a chain of fallback values, making the --width property use --width-tablet when available, then --width-mobile if --width-tablet is not declared, and eventually, 0 if neither of the variables is declared. This approach allows us to perform numerous combinations:

.section-1 { /* Flexible on all resolutions */ } .section-2 { /* Full-width on mobile, half of the container's width on tablet and up */ --width-mobile: 12; --width-tablet: 6; } .section-3 { /* Full-width on all resolutions */ --width-mobile: 12; } .section-4 { /* Flexible on mobile, 25% of the container's width on tablet and up */ --width-tablet: 3; }

One more thing we can do here is convert the default 0 value to yet another variable so we avoid repetition. It makes the code a bit longer but easier to update:

.column { --columns: 12; /* Number of columns in the grid system */ --width-default: 0; /* Default width, makes it flexible */ --width: var(--width-mobile, var(--width-default)); /* Width of the element */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); } @media (min-width: 576px) { .column { --width: var(--width-tablet, var(--width-mobile, var(--width-default))); } }

See the Pen #10 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

Now, we have a fully functional, flexible grid! How about adding some more breakpoints?

Adding more breakpoints

Our grid is already quite powerful but we often need more than one breakpoint. Fortunately, adding more breakpoints to our code couldn’t be easier. All we have to do is to re-use the code we already have and add one variable more:

See the Pen #11 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

Reducing fallback chains

One thing that doesn’t look that great in our code is that feedback chains are getting longer and longer with every breakpoint. If we’d like to tackle this issue, we can change our approach to something like this:

.column { --columns: 12; /* Number of columns in the grid system */ --width: var(--width-mobile, 0); /* Width of the element */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); } @media (min-width: 576px) { .column { --width-tablet: var(--width-mobile); --width: var(--width-tablet); } } @media (min-width: 768px) { .column { --width-desktop: var(--width-tablet); --width: var(--width-desktop); } }

See the Pen #12 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

This code is doing exactly the same job but in a bit different way. Instead of creating a full fallback chain for each breakpoint, we set a value of each variable to the variable from the previous breakpoint as a default value.

Why so complicated?

It looks like we’ve done quite a lot of work to complete a relatively simple task. Why? The main answer is: to make the rest of our code simpler and more maintainable. In fact, we could build the same layout by using the techniques described in the previous part of this article:

.container { display: flex; flex-wrap: wrap; margin: 0 auto; max-width: 960px; } .column { --columns: 12; /* Number of columns in the grid system */ --width: 0; /* Default width of the element */ flex-basis: calc(var(--width) / var(--columns) * 100%); } .header { --width: 12; } .content { --width: 12; } .sidebar { --width: 12; } @media (min-width: 576px) { .content { --width: 6; } .sidebar { --width: 6; } } @media (min-width: 768px) { .content { --width: 8; } .sidebar { --width: 4; } }

In a small project, this approach could work perfectly well. For the more complex solutions, I would suggest considering a more scalable solution though.

Why should I bother anyway?

If the presented code is doing a very similar job to what we can accomplish with preprocessors such as Sass, why should we bother at all? Are custom properties any better? The answer, as usually, is: it depends. An advantage of using Sass is better browser support. However, using custom properties has a few perks too:

It’s plain CSS. In other words, it’s a more standardized, dependable solution, independent from any third parties. No compiling, no package versions, no weird issues. It just works (apart from the browsers where it just doesn’t work).

It’s easier to debug. That’s a questionable one, as one may argue that Sass provides feedback through console messages and CSS does not. However, you can’t view and debug preprocessed code directly in a browser, whilst working with CSS variables, all the code is available (and live!) directly in DevTools.

It’s more maintainable. Custom properties allow us to do things simply impossible with any preprocessor. It allows us to make our variables more contextual and, therefore, more maintainable. Plus, they are selectable by JavaScript, something Sass variables are not.

It’s more flexible. Notice, that the grid system we’ve built is extremely flexible. Would you like to use a 12-column grid on one page and a 15-column grid on another? Be my guest—it’s a matter of a single variable. The same code can be used on both pages. A preprocessor would require generating code for two separate grid systems.

It takes less space. As long as the weight of CSS files is usually not the main bottleneck of page load performance, it still goes without saying that we should aim to optimize CSS files when possible. To give a better image of how much can be saved, I made a little experiment. I took the grid system from Bootstrap and rebuilt it from scratch with custom properties. The results are as follows: the basic configuration of the Bootstrap grid generates over 54KB of CSS whilst a similar grid made with custom properties is a mere 3KB. That’s a 94% difference! What is more, adding more columns to the Bootstrap grid makes the file even bigger. With CSS variables, we can use as many columns as we want without affecting the file size at all.

The files can be compressed to minimize the difference a bit. The gzipped Bootstrap grid takes 6.4KB in comparison to 0.9KB for the custom properties grid. This is still an 86% difference!

Performance of CSS variables

Summing up, using CSS custom properties has a lot of advantages. But, if we are making the browser do all the calculations that had been done by preprocessors, are we negatively affecting the performance of our site? It’s true that using custom properties and calc() functions will use more computing power. However, in cases similar to the examples we discussed in this article, the difference will usually be unnoticeable. If you’d like to learn more about this topic, I would recommend reading this excellent article by Lisi Linhart.

Not only grid systems

After all, understanding the ins and outs of custom properties may not be as easy as it seems. It will definitely take time, but it’s worth it. CSS variables can be a huge help when working on reusable components, design systems, theming and customizable solutions. Knowing how to deal with fallback values and undeclared variables may turn out to be very handy then.

Thanks for reading and good luck on your own journey with CSS custom properties!

The post Responsive Designs and CSS Custom Properties: Building a Flexible Grid System appeared first on CSS-Tricks.

😉SiliconWebX | 🌐CSS-Tricks

#Silicon Web Design #Ahmedabad #India #Web Development #WPBeginner #Silicon URL #Web Site #Cloud Host

0 notes

suzanneshannon · 6 years ago

Text

Responsive Designs and CSS Custom Properties: Building a Flexible Grid System

Article Series:

Defining Variables and Breakpoints

Building a Flexible Grid System (This Post)

A simple CSS grid system

Let’s start with a 12-column grid system:

See the Pen #5 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

There’s quite a lot of repetition and hard-coded values here. Not to mention how many more will be generated once we add more breakpoints, offset classes, etc.

Building a grid system with Sass

To make our grid example more readable and maintainable, let’s use Sass to preprocess our CSS:

See the Pen #6 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

Building a grid system with CSS custom properties

Before we start playing with CSS custom properties, let’s start with some HTML first. Here’s the layout we’re aiming for:

<div class="container"> <header class="header column"> header </header> <main class="content column"> content </main> <aside class="sidebar column"> sidebar </aside> </div>

Our grid system, as before, is based on a 12-column layout. You can envision it as an overlay covering our content areas:

.header { --width: 12; } .content { --width: 8; } .sidebar { --width: 4; }

Notice two important changes here:

The --columns variable is now declared inside of the .column rule. The reason is that this variable is not supposed to be used outside of the scope of this class.

See the Pen #8 Building responsive features with CSS custom properties by Mikołaj (@mikolajdobrucki) on CodePen.

Adding a breakpoint to the grid