#and with the power of apathy and structure and small joys on my side I did it still

[hydrangeawise]

Because something something end of the year something, I felt like doing a small post on things I really enjoyed this year, in no particular order:

Sasaki to Miyano (anime): made my heart bloom like, idk, a meadow in spring or something. I've adored the manga for years, and the anime transported everything in this story so well!

Aurora - The Gods We Can Touch (music): uh, yeah. This album was released early in the year and I haven't stopped listening to it since.

Sabikui Bisco (anime): tackled me into the ground, has excellent worldbuilding & character dynamics, made me cry.

Shokei Shoujo no Virgin Road (Light Novel): probably the thing that got me back into reading physical books again, swallowed me whole, made me fall in love with many unhinged women (I'm still waiting on my pre-ordered copy of the fifth volume, I can be patient though).

Little Witch in the Woods (video game): very charming story so far! I'm a bit miffed that almost all my progress got deleted when I updated to the Beta version, so I'll have to redo a lot of things when I get playing again the next time, but still, very charming.

Frey & McGray series by Oscar de Muriel (books): I'm currently reading the 4th book. It's all very enjoyable, the character dynamics are intriguing, I enjoy the stories very much, and I'm looking forward to slowly making my way through the rest of the books.

Lycoris Recoil (anime): I still am very much hip deep in this. Takina still has my whole heart, thank you very much. I'm looking forward to the light novel & the manga. (I did write a lot of posts screeching about the girls).

Hello from the Hallowoods (podcast): I adore this podcast. With my whole heart. I'm slowly making my way through the episodes because sometimes I get easily overwhelmed when I'm listening to it, but - I adore it; so much!

Kitchen for Singles (series of short videos on YT): pure comfort to watch - I also started trying some of the recipes (and I may have adopted the tomato sauce permanently into my staple recipes).

The Cat Proposed (manga): uh, yeah. So this manga probably kind of preserved my sanity? In a "I found it when I was in a pretty not-good place and it got me back on solid ground" way, I suppose (maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but I truly feel like it did save some part of me). Charming story, charming characters, I have so so so much love for every single bit of it.

And that's it, I believe. This is what my cheese brain held on to for the last 12 months.

[prayingwithfeet]

Mercy Continues

Even though life has been in the way of updating this blog, that does not mean my thoughts have stopped…nor my experiences as a pilgrim.

My pilgrimage to Assisi, Rome, and Krakow has seemed to have left an indelible mark on my spirit. During my travels, I visited new places and returned to old. I met new people and saw familiar faces in a different light. I tried new things and engaged in the same routine with a renewed vision. I walked through doors of Mercy that have been opened to pilgrims for hundreds of years, strolled down roads in the home town of saints, and stood in silence before the Gates of Hell.  I visited the home town of a beloved pope and listened to the wisdom of another. I found joy in difficult moments and saw hope flourish from the ashes of hate. 

My suitcase didn’t come back heavier with souvenirs. I couldn’t seem to stop for a moment to go shopping because I wanted to experience every movement to it’s fullest. I did end up bringing back with me two things: Mercy and Trust. 

As it was the Year of Mercy, this is a no brainer.  The Divine Mercy Chaplet was said throughout the pilgrimage, we walked the pilgrimage walk of Mercy in Rome, and in every reflection we heard from the Pope, a Cardinal, Bishop, Priest, Deacon, or Lay Person Mercy was in their words.  We were in the chapel where Christ asked us to pray for Divine Mercy and received Mercy through the sacrament of Reconciliation in its shadow.  

In the Field of Mercy pilgrims could receive the sacrament of Reconciliation. In the background is the Shrine of Divine Mercy built next to the small chapel (green roof) where St. Faustina received Jesus’ message to give the Divine Mercy Image to the world along with the Divine Mercy Chaplet. 

Trust was another gift that was given. On pilgrimage, you often have to rely on the goodness and kindness of others. You have to trust others to lead you where you need to go or trust that you can find your own way. You have to trust that you can figure out problems when they arise. You have to trust that you will be able to walk when you feel like your feet cannot carry you any further. The phrase “Jesus, I trust in You,” echoed in my heart with every step I took. When I faltered and failed to trust, those words came back and I literally saw the light (true story: I was looking for a candle during the evening vigil in Campus Misericordiae and started to panic with the thought that I wasn’t going to take part in this important moment. I left my group and found found where they were distributing the candles. Relieved, I came back to my group, only to find that they already received candles. Should have trusted…).  

Me waking up in Campus Misericordae along with a million of my closest friends. 

So why am I writing this now? I’ve been back for six months. Why now?

My beloved country is on the eve of a tradition that has taken place 44 times in its history: the peaceful transition of power from one president to another. There are strong opinions and thoughts on both sides. Celebration and fear. Hope and despair. Optimism and pessimism.  Activism and apathy. Civility and bullying. Pulling each other up while some push others down. We’ve seem to be a country of extremes. 

While I am not happy with the results of the election, as we were reminded while watching “Sherlock” on PBS, “It is what it is.” We can’t change the results of the election. We just can’t. But we can change how we respond. 

My prayer for the United States of America is three fold: One for Mercy, One for Trust, and one for Unity.

Prayer for Mercy: Mercy, as I have come to understand it, is the loving compassion we can show another person, even if we feel like they don’t deserve it. Giving and showing Mercy is one of the strongest things anyone can do. This election cycle has challenged me in this aspect. I am not a fan of the man that was elected president. His words and deeds have hurt me, have marginalized others, and have been against my values (especially on the topics of giving dignity to each human life). And yet I am called to love him as a child of God. I am called to give him Mercy. That does not mean staying silent when his actions will end up hurting others or go against the values of Catholic Social Teaching. It is the duty of every citizen to speak up for the marginalized and give voice to the voiceless.  But we must do it with Mercy. We must speak about our neighbors with compassion and understanding. We must continue to give and be love even if we don’t agree. At the end of the day, our next president is just a human man, with faults and, though this is an assumption, a sad, lonely life. And our neighbors who we disagree with want to find their place in the world as much as we do. Name calling and spewing hate will not win battles. It will only deepen the wound. As St. Faustina wrote, “Be always Merciful.” 

Prayer for Trust: There’s a lot of apprehension and uncertainty within many of my fellow citizens, myself included. Change is scary especially if we didn’t want the kind of change we are receiving. If we are to look to someone’s past as a predictor of what they might do in the future…well, we might have the right to be nervous. Those who depend on the Affordable Care Act for health insurance are right to be concerned that they may loose it. Those who depend on the DREAM act to receive dignity as a worker have a right to be anxious. There is a lot to be uncertain of and we have the duty, the obligation to take action if our neighbor’s dignity is under threat. Even through all of this, we are called to trust. “Jesus, I trust in You,” the saying at the feet of Jesus in the Divine Mercy image, isn’t there because it makes a pretty border.  It’s there because that’s what Christ is asking us to do: trust in Him. Through that trust, mercy can flow. Through that trust, our hearts open to loving others more purely. Through that trust, we find solace and comfort. It’s like when Jesus called Peter to walk out of the boat and into the storm. Peter initially thought that the safest place was where he was standing, on the wooden floor of the boat. When he gave in and allowed himself to fully trust in Jesus he was able to walk out into the raging water and clearly see the face of Christ. We might be walking into a storm of uncertainty and despair right now, but when we trust in God…oh the wonders that we can achieve! Imagine a world of love and forgiveness and mercy. When we open ourselves and listen to what God is calling us to do and to be, we can make something beautiful together!

Prayer for Unity: We can’t do anything alone. That might need to be America’s mantra for the next few years. I can’t do anything alone. When I push people away, I miss out on the opportunity to learn from someone else, even if it is a clearer understanding of what we disagree on. I can’t do my job without interacting with others. I can’t go to the grocery story without realizing that the food I am buying was placed on the shelf by a person, and before that, was packaged by a group of people, and before that was grown by human hands. Everything I own is because of interconnections of our existence. Martin Luther King Jr. once said:  “In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be… This is the inter-related structure of reality.” When my neighbor’s house is on fire, I can’t stand there and watch it burn because my house might catch fire next. In order for me to succeed, my neighbor has to succeed along with me.  On the night I was searching for a candle, Pope Francis was delivering a homily. I remember very clearly hearing Pope Francis call for us the young people of the world, to do one simple task: Build bridges made of living hands reaching out to each other. 

There is so much good in each other that we miss it when we are focusing on our differences. When we are yelling and accusing, we forget to treat the other with love and respect as God has called us to. What would happen if we challenge ourselves to work with or talk to someone whose political background is different than our own? I’m guessing the bridges of prejudice and judgement would disappear and we will instead gain a deeper appreciation for the unique, loved person that they are. We might even find that we share some of the same values. In other words…

Leslie Knope is my spirit animal. I once, unknowingly, ate at the same waffle restaurant in Washington DC as she did in “Parks and Recreation.” When I found out, I about died out of sheer happiness. 

On this inauguration day, I’m going to spend it doing what I always do: go to work, interact with a vast array of people, and help whenever I can. I’ll probably add in there a Divine Mercy Chaplet (or 3). Join me in prayer if you would like. Exercise your constitutional right to express your thoughts and opinions. Be kind to your neighbor. Be Mercy. 

Pax et Bonum  Peace and All Goodness

Vicky

PS: I created a playlist that was inspired by this pilgrimage. Enjoy!