#and with other artists like the guy from the watercolor program at the li pride art thing back in june

[audiovisualrecall]

There are a bunch of things I feel I can't do because I still don't feel comfortable doing my humira without someone (preferably my dad) to assist. I have anxiety about it partly because one time I messed up and damaged the one humira pen we had in the house and we had to scramble to get the company to send a replacement. Plus executive dysfunction plus shitty memory and I'm just anxious about it still currently. I find myself wishing I'd been brave enough back when to go out of state for college, and if he had to drive 4 hours to get to me I probably would've ended up having the pen in my dorm and doing it myself eventually. If not at least I would've known I could..

There are also a lot of things I would love to do that I can't, because health insurance. because changing health insurance to the one through work was difficult and stressful enough, and it's been months and I still barely make use of it for all the things I know I signed up for it to have, for less $ than the state market options, but also time moves so fast, and I hate work, but idk if the state market options will be as good as the one through work and idk of they'll cover my medication and my doctor and how complicated setting that up would be if they don't use the same mail pharmacy as my prev and current insurances do, and it's stressful to have a period of time without any doses even tho my Dr said it's actually OK but the risk of building antibodies to humira is a fear I've lived with and now it turns out its not quite so serious but it makes me really really anxious anyway, and the dental is good I think rn, but I hate parts of my job and there's a ton of things I'd love to do but none of them offer health insurance. So I can't do any of them. But Idk if any other job that is interesting at all to me and also offers health insurance will be any better a fit for me than my current work, el job hunting is really slow and time just keeps passing so quickly.