#and with each novel update i fear that we still don't know all of it

[samberrybay]

This part in 32 chp always felt kind of odd to me and this is the reason why:

The coward wolf boy, Lock. Until Choi Han found him, Lock had been hiding as the chief had told him. The Lock at that point is very much a coward, a weakling, and kind of slow. In simple terms, Lock easily took the position of the character that readers found to be extremely frustrating.

This has bothered me since I first read the novel, and to this day, even after several rereads, it still haunts me.

Cale simply isn't the type of a person to actually call a kid, no matter how they behave, to be "frustrating".

(When the text said "readers" it's damn well obvious of Cale being the one to think so.)

Pondering for some time I can roughly guess why the wording was so unexpected for his character.

At the time of the assassination/kindaping in the village, Lock was only thirteen years old. He also hasn't had his first berserk transformation yet. Therefore it is not surprising that Lock's uncle hid him and told not to go out, saying that everything was fine and he should continue to hide.

Now let's look at the situation realistically.

Lock (in tcf) jumps out of his hiding to protect his younger siblings. The adrenaline and inner Blue Wolf Tribe's instincts to protect turned on his berserk transportation one year beforehand, however if not Rosalyn and Choi Han, who came earlier than in the actual novel, i don't think it would help much.

Lock would possibly be able to kill a few people or at least seriously injure them, but CMON. They killed an ENTIRE village full of berserk Blue Wolf's and with almost-Wolf King (Lock's uncle). Do you really believe that a thirteen years old boy jumping into his first berserk transformation would be able to fight properly against strong organization that had holy water or some sort of holy artefact on their hands?

Again, if not for Choi Han's and Rosalyn's arrival... it would have definitely ended pretty bad.

In TBOAH Lock for some reason didn't jump out. Different circumstances, wrong wroted part in the novel, idk, but the fact is stated: Lock stayed hidden. He also most likely survived only because of Choi Han's help. Just with much worse scenario where he was left alone from the whole village.

And it wasn't Lock's fault yet again. He was a child. No matter if a Beastman one or not, the boy was just an innocent, naive and weak child.

So why would Cale, Kim Rok Soo at the time, find him frustrating? Extremely so even!

The answer is much easier if you think about it.

Because it wasn't Kim Rok Soo blaming a kid for being weak and cowardly in a fearful situation, it was a man who saw his own past that he hated so much.

A coward, a weakling and kind of slow.

For Rok Soo, who blamed himself for half of his life for the deaths of team one members, Lock was like a salt for still open, but ignored wounds.

KRS greatly disliked and maybe even envied Lock for a bit. The boy got a new family, he got friends and some sort of guidance from them even after facing so much despair.

While he was all alone, trying to understand what to do on his own.

It sure is irritating for Rok Soo.

Yet Team Leader Kim Rok Soo was probably unable to fully hate Lock for his weakness, because while the latter was still a kid, the same forgiveness can't be used on him. At least in his own head.

So with conflicting feelings Cale settled on "Extremely frustrating" description.

[blindrapture]

I'm still sick. though that is fading.

can't sleep. brain racing.

I guess I've got some more rapture stuff to say. because I feel like I've been doing a great job at talking about the ways Act 1 is Early and Different from this mysterious other place that the story goes, I've been doing a great job at talking soberly about it, not really standing behind it. and I need to put some confidence behind it.

because there is, absolutely, a part of me that is keeping Act 1 the way it is because I like it this way.

Act 1 is great because it is an entire-ass novel's worth of words that do not read like any fucking novel, it doesn't even read like some classic experimental novel, it doesn't read like stream-of-conscious, it definitely doesn't read like Ulysses (I was still a good three or four years out from when I read that). it reads more like... social media. one person's feed. that also wasn't intentional, but that is what it amounts to. like a person's social media feed, Act 1 serves to keep you updated on what's going on with Jordan, and in the process, Act 1 exposes you to Jordan and gets you.... "familiar with" Jordan. it also exposes you to The Things That Are Happening, and gets your brain working with Imagining it and with Keeping Track. one of Jordan's jobs, as the narrator of this story, is to help you with that, to imagine and reword things himself, and to try to keep track of some things himself. simple act of literary peristalsis, gets your brain.. moving along a path.

I say that Act 1 gets you "familiar with" Jordan because, even though we have already been through some trauma with him, and even though he has been embarrassingly open with his journal, we still don't actually know that much about him, or why he does what he does. frankly, the fact that I didn't just utterly fill the story, from word 1, with full in-depth Talking About Myself.. is the most fundamental surprise to me in hindsight, and is the reason I have always believed in this story. I was always Doing Something with it. even when I did not actually have solid plans.

Act 1 was written without solid plans for the future. I knew the story would continue with logs for each day, I knew it would go until October 21st. I did actually know how each arc of Act 1 would go, because I was basing the structure of Act 1 off of my actual summer, condensed into a June. 2011 was kind of an incredibly ambitious year for me, and if I explained it all to you here, you... wouldn't believe it, and I'd retraumatize myself anyway. but I wrote it into rapture because I was trying to will it into.. working out. so. so I knew how blackpool would go. I knew how spain would go. and I knew what would come at the end of this act, which we won't get to for another... 20 days. and I knew about the Harlequin. I had that worked out.

the thing. about the Harlequin. is that even this, even the original draft which was uncensored, was me holding back. I had originally, in fucking April, early May of 2011, been planning on buying a doll and making a horror vlog, starring myself and a doll. the doll would have been called "Harlequin." this would have been movement 3 of Jordan Eats Normally Now. I want that to sink in. especially for those who know what's going to happen in the story. the Harlequin, as my portrayal of the Fear Mythos's Wooden Girl, in a twisted relationship with My Fucking Self-Insert, was going to be filmed. and thankfully I decided against doing that. but instead I incorporated it into rapture, fleshing out the ideas I had and giving them a chance to develop into.. some interesting stuff. and when I was in spain, in real life, I had a nightmare about the Harlequin, and I woke up and drew her face from my dream, and I sent that drawing to my artist friend RealaChao and talked about the Harlequin, where this was coming from. and I continued to reason out why this plot had to happen the way it does.

this is all to say. of all things in rapture, the Harlequin is the closest thing to a genuine fucking poetic idea that I was able to conceive at age 16. I was not writing my fantasies out for a public audience, but I was willing to let people believe it was as cynical as that. because this story was... working. it was working far better than Jordan Eats had been. ideas were popping, they were practically forming out of each other, even the format was giving me ideas. and if the story was working, that meant I could feel confident about it. and if I could feel confident about it, that means I could try to let it stand on its own, I could believe that it's possible for people to just read it and get it. the Harlequin is not me writing my fantasies out. the Harlequin is "what if this thing I thought I wanted... hurt?" it's a fear. and it's a fear on top of being quite a metafictional horror, but that brings us back to Jordan himself.

Jordan, as a Character, makes rapture uncomfortable to read. he makes it more and more uncomfortable the more and more genuine he reads as. because Jordan is a self-insert. goddammit, I saw him as the self-insert, the one to humble any other author who wanted to piss around with the thought. Jordan is a self-insert for a lot of reasons, and I mean a lot of reasons. this was another thing I did, once, have an opportunity to change. after the story was first concluded and I got to revise the whole thing for a.. either a PDF release or the First Edition book release, I did consider changing Jordan's name. I told my editor friend, slendyslayer, about this, I talked through it with them, because of course I fucking understand how it looks, how it feels as any given reader to read this fucking self-insert. (I would have called him Rael.) but, I decided against it. I stood by it. because he would have still been a fucking self-insert, just hiding behind a different fucking name. and the point of Jordan is he is the self-insert, he is how you do a fucking self-insert. you own it. it's just honest.

but. right. metafictional horror. I say rapture is a metafictional horror because. I mean, don't you feel it? just by reading it? don't you feel that question in the back of your head? "should I be reading this? am I, like, allowed to read this?" "aren't these some real person's actual, like. private thoughts? private urges?" would you die of embarrassment if it was your teenage urges? placed there on the screen, or in the pages of a book, for posterity? that is horror.

(there are... ways to do that part badly. and the original draft of rapture did.. some of it... very badly. and I got, rightfully, chewed out for that. and rapture's not like that anymore. and it never will be. that was my own horror. but the Jordan stuff? nah, you're allowed to read that. I promise.)

it's also not, like, all horror all the time, because I'm a blasphemous son of a bitch who doesn't believe in horror's right to being a genre. I believe in stories' rights to be scary at parts, but if a story is all scary all the time then it's just a mean-spirited joke on the audience. so. Jordan is meant to make you feel uncomfortable, but then you're supposed to sit with it, and rapture is a long enough story that it gives you plenty of time to sit with it. you become familiar with your discomfort, you identify your discomfort, you come to terms with your discomfort. stage 1 of the reader's intended arc with rapture is "oh my god, I'm staring into the face of the mortifying ordeal of being known." stage 2 is "huh. so that's what it means. those are the implications of being known, that is what's on the other side of the mortification."

yes, I honestly did intend this shit even at age 16. because this wasn't my first self-insert. and neither was Jordan Eats. I had been writing self-inserts for years. and I would continue to, for years. I still write self-inserts. and I am always thinking about why.

so. act 1 is here to get you familiar with Jordan. you have to get past the self-insert part, and you need a lot of time to get past that. you are free to formulate ideas on Jordan as a character. I earnestly hope readers do. I want to see where people are proven right and proven wrong. engaging with the story will pay off. act 1 is likewise here to get you familiar with Donnie.

Donnie is not a self-insert. Donnie is not even based on a real person. Donnie is a.. few things. I don't know that I will get into the Donnie Depths right now. but I will just throw out there, as trivia, that I wrote Donnie into the story because of Stephen King. in 2010 I read Stephen King's Cell. and I really, really dug it. frankly, a lot of the vibes of Act 1 were fueled by admiration of Stephen King. Cell is about a rather modern apocalypse. and the dude protagonist traveled with this... girl... woman?? girl??? can't remember, probably girl, but I was 15-16, she was around my age at least, so I had a crush on her. and I don't actually think I'd written a girl protagonist before (not one who wasn't a chao, or a literal clone of the male protagonist, or both). but something in me said that Rapture would be more interesting if I added a Donnie. it was.

the thing. the conclusion. the thing is. that act 1 is great because it exists, against all odds. it kept impressing me, because I didn't really think I had it in me to come up with, let alone sustain, a story of this sort. even back in 2011, I would finish a log then look over it and feel like I didn't even write the damn thing, like I'm just reading it along with everyone else. y'know what my biggest claim to fame was, at 16 years old? it was Dark Chao Adventures. 400,000 words of niche fucking Sonic fanfic that wasn't about Sonic, and kept inventing its own format because I wrote it from age 10, and which I primarily wrote without an audience yet remembering the time I was 12 and somehow did have a fanbase of other 12-year-olds on the internet. a story that, I assert, only got better when all the fans moved on with their lives and I was just writing for myself. this is to say. I had a weird relationship with writing. (and I had a weird relationship with writing even before that! but that's a different tangent.) I knew I could do.... something? but my guess was as good as anyone else's when it came to what the finished product would look like. Act 1 is the finished product. but it's also, like, the beginning of a long story. Act 1 is where you get to see the story in the active process of finalizing itself. Act 1 is where the very concept of a self-insert is the subject that must be resolved before we can move onto later acts. Act 1... could probably also have been called "Book 1," all things considered. it is longer than a lot of novels, by itself. Act 1 will end on July 4th. even if you skip the Disclaimer logs, you'll want to tune back in for July. I promise.

alright.

that was the sort of ramble I'd been needing to do.

hello, readers. old and new. active and lurking.

ask me anything. or ask yourself.. anything. read!

I'm probably gonna set up masterposts for all these Bonus rambles at a later date.

see you tomorrow for the June 10th log.

god I wanna sleep.

[zydrateacademy]

The First Descendant - First Impressions

Whether or not you like a game like this depends on your personal threshold for grinding 1% drop rates and your personal suspension of disbelief of watching women with swimsuits on take several thousand bullets to the stomach.

I'm not some young buck that gravitates towards media just because it has some tiddies on the loading screen. I was brought here by all the comparisons to Warframe and Destiny. Warframe is a game I still actively play with over a thousand hours played. Destiny quite a bit less so, I played D2 and was quickly bored by the "endgame=raids", since I'm not a hardcore player by any means my progress was quickly halted and there wasn't enough activity in the world for me to really bother with. But the gameplay itself can be fun and satisfying up to a point.

I'm not going to waste any time talking about the story. It's a framework for the gameplay and much like the two games it's copying from, you mostly forget what happened five minutes after it happened. The intro cinematic threw a lot of names at me like the beginning of a fantasy novel. "The humans were defeated by the Volges, then the Colossi came and then..." Like what are the Vulgers or whatever, what are Colossi? Is that a faction or literal? (It's literal). That Vulga boss sure looks human to me. Does the game explain that? Absolutely not! I still don't know what "Achre" is, just that we have a lot of it. Anyway, who cares. Moving on.

The game shares more DNA with Warframe than Destiny. Each zone is a quasi-open world but they're mostly just instanced shooting galleries with precious very little in between the missions. You may run into some players that help you during these missions but half the time they run off to do their own thing. Which I can't fault them for, they've got their own progression to get through. Sometimes I just catch a high level player just going for that 20% blueprint, so that's always nice to get some backup. But the loop is basically Warframe's relic mechanic spread across the entire loop. You do missions to get some token, then you either go fight a Colossi or do some elite fight planetside to crack the token open, very much like WF's relics. The main problem here is that seems to be the entire game so far.

The visuals seem to be a bit overdesigned which is often a problem I run into with Eastern MMO's in particular. The main villain looks like someone sat down to draw a gothy suit of armor and didn't stop adding tassels or metal fixtures for six hours. Everything shares the same philosophy to where minute by minute visuals get drowned out by all the gunfire as I spend more time looking at my health, the enemies health, and my bullet counter far more than the "looks" of anything. During cutscenes or even just finishing crafting something we're treated with some mechanical metal sound every second anytime anyone or anything does anything at all. It's so excessive and actually does the opposite of the intention; at the end of the day everything feels a bit homogeneous. Warframe also has a similar problem, but it takes the three or so designs and standardizes them. They have the knowledge that people aren't going to stop and look at the walls very much so you needn't waste more time adding panels or alien ridges. The First Descendant does not understand this distinction.

Look, I'm enjoying the game for what it is right now. I play a lot of fantasy and stealth games and sometimes I just want a nice gallery shooter. However, I can't tell you if I'm going to be playing this in another six months or not. I fear that this game may share the fate of other Live Service games, or turn into the forgettable Outriders where once you hit the end game you just hit a wall after sixty hours and just think "well, I guess I'm done here". TFD has the markings of this very problem but if they are vigilant with keeping up with the community, updates, and maybe a little buff here and there with the droprates to shed this company's previous reputation, they might have a decent competitor here. That, or they'll just cut and run like the rest of them. Time will tell. Until then, it's hard to argue with free.

[gaminganxious]

Buried Stars - Review

Genre: Visual Novel

Release Date: July 30th 2020

Playtime: 6hrs

Completed: No

Would Play Again?: Yes, I at least want to finish a full playthrough and see how it ends

I swear I let RNG pick this month's games. Why it decided it was sad dark games February is beyond me, but I have to give another heads up here before we git into this one. WARNING: This game deals with themes of death and anxiety. Along with most of the BS that comes from literally any form of social media.

Buried Stars is about a group of contestant singers that become trapped on the set of a game show after disaster occurs. You play as one of five contestants, Do-yoon Han. You'll try your best not to do it and stay sane while hopefully doing the same for the people trapped with you. If being trapped under rubble was enough drama for you, don't worry. Everyone you're trapped with comes with a boatload of their own secrets and agendas to uncover along the way.

I haven't played any before but the art is really good in my opinion. The characters are all well-defined and easily distinguishable from each other, and I don't get bored looking at them for minutes at a time, which is good because thats what you'll be doing most of the time.

The menu interface is dynamic and fits the theme well. I do sort of wish the character models had more than three or four expressions when you interact with them. I think that's something that might be fairly common for this type of game, but still. The music is non obtrusive, but it's also nothing to write home about, which I thought was surprising considering the premise of the story involves singers. It’ll be interesting to see if anyone actually sings in it. They haven't done so in my playthrough so far.

This game combines like three of my worst fears. Being buried alive, talking to people I don't know very well, and social media. I honestly kind of bulked at it when I first started playing and realized I would have to get people to like me. That's something I almost always need a guide for. That and I made the mistake of talking to Hyesung first, and he's a little asshole in the beginning. I toughed it out, though, and I'm glad I did. There's a Quick Save Feature that helps you manage conversations if you feel you're about to touch on an unsavory topic with someone. Or if you want to avoid losing sanity. I mean that literally, by the way. You have a sanity meter, something I completely ignored until it was almost gone. Some topics raise it, others; like investigating that body yall just found in the rubble, lower it. There's also Phater, the games version of Twitter to keep track of, and you will want to keep track of it as it will give you most of your talking points. Sadly, it is just as toxic as it's real life counterpart, so be prepared for that, or it will drop your sanity too. At least it only updates every chapter or so. Controls are super easy and well labeled throughout. There is also a very nice fast-forward option if you had to do a reload and don't want to flip through all the dialog again. 

The story so far is quite good and getting better as I go. I'm excited to see how it'll end, though I'm not sure how close to that I am yet. More than just the main story, though, each individual character has an intriguing backstory to uncover. They even convinced me to to totally hate the crappiest character by far. At least i know why he's a jerk now. I'm sure there are multiple endings based on who trusts you and your sanity level as well. It's a lot of information at first, but since you go over a lot of the info multiple times throughout the story, it's not too difficult to keep track of. It can be easy to get lost on the details if you're not paying attention, though.

Currently, Buried Stars is listed for $44.99 on the Playstation store. I would hold off on that, though. I bought mine a while ago, but I'm pretty sure I got it on sale. It also looks like it goes on sale pretty regularly. If you do find it on sale, I think it's worth grabbing, especially if you like visual novels. You can save almost whenever you want, so it's a good one to play for a bit here and there or shotgun over a few days if you prefer. 

[rosieuv]

Another Yandere Simulator AU idea thing

I made one a couple months ago but I've thought of an updated one. Here's the original if you want to read it:

So my idea for this one is that Ayano is an actual yandere but wasn't born one due to that plot device of a "curse", but because her mother Ryoba neglected her and Ryoba was constantly obsessing over whatshisname so he could never act as Ayano's father. Ayano sees everyone as meaningless and inferior, like how we see NPCs. She asks her mother why she feels like this and all Ryoba replies with is

"Oh that's normal. You just need to find your senpai! That'll make it all better."

She never learned how to communicate properly due to her sheltered and neglected life. She doesn't seem to mind as that's all she knows, so lives life without friends. Nobody tries to talk to her. Her father tries to help her so Ayano can live a normal life, but Ryoba won't let him. Due to all of this, Ayano slowly stops caring about everyone. She focuses a lot into her studies and ends up at Akedemi High. On her first day she is greeted by Taro. This is the first time she sees someone as a person and not just something in the background. She loves this feeling and suddenly sees her past life as inferior. However she messes up while trying to talk to him and he leaves. The reason why Ayano stalks him is so she can feel a bit of that happiness but never tries to talk to him in fear he'll think she's weird and avoid her. She finds out that Osana is spending a lot of time with him and Ayano gets really jealous. This is where the game begins.

The tutorial with Kokona is still there but isn't a tutorial and is more the reason why Ayano decided to solve her problems with violence. She does research into attacking and communication techniques while every day she feels more and more longing for that happiness so by the time the game starts, she will do anything just to get that feeling back.

There's 3 routes for each rival: a violent one, a friendly one and a life ruining one. For Osana this is stabbing her until she dies, manipulating her into thinking that she doesn't need taro and uses her trauma from her stalker, and possibly framing but I'm not too sure on that one. Info-chan comes in at about week 6 and acts more like a partner to Ayano as she wants to see everything crumble and is willing to help Ayano just to see that. Muja Kina is a student who wants to help others as it makes no sense for her to be an actual nurse. Mida Rana is still a teacher but acts more like a teacher and her pedophile side is only revealed when Ayano is stalking her. You can either: pair her up with one of the other teachers and she stops doing the whole pedophile thing, continue to stalk her and get video proof of her doing the whole pedophile thing and send her to prison, or just kill her. In the original she isn't portrayed as a creep that well but in this version she is very much a creep and her actions aren't sugar-coated. Ayano slowly goes insane over the course of the game to the point where she doesn't even know why she's after Taro anymore. The feeling of killing people is much stronger than the feeling of love around Taro.

This is more of a visual novel style of game but still 3D and animated. All the assets will be created from scratch. The general structure of the game is that while stalking Taro you see another girl with him. You get jealous and become the girl's friend. You then use that friendship to manipulate her into whatever path you desire. Characters will react, like Haru will think it's odd how you keep needing clean uniforms but due to your good reputation and his personality, he'll just keep these thoughts to himself. You'll become a yandere by making an effort to learn how to communicate well by copying the actions of others and by then end of the game you'll be well liked and respected. Obviously that'll all be meaningless to Ayano and the high reputation will just be seen as a tool.

The gyarus won't be bullies. The actual bullies will be random characters that you wouldn't suspect, like real life bullies. The gyaru's won't be popular. They only become popular when they start to hang out with you. You meet them because of Hana and they also help in communication skills. Overall the gyarus are just a little clique that do their own thing but are actually chill people because the trope of the popular blonde girls being jerks is a western thing. I also have an idea of someone stalking Ayano and discovering her whole murdering thing, but keeping quiet as they don't want her to go to prison. Info-chan is someone who works for some kind of criminal organisation and doesn't get her own club room.

I still like my original idea, but I have a feeling this one's easier to execute and is more story driven. Maybe by previous idea is like a sequel? It's not perfect this idea: I'm just typing all my ideas I have down. Any ideas on how to improve this idea feel free to comment. The main thing holding Yandere Simulator back is that it's being developed by Yandere Dev. The original is too cutesy and overwhelming with it's many, many options. I'm going to scale it down and focus more on the mental health aspect of it, particularity with Ayano. I won't work on it any time soon as I already have stuff I'm working on, but I'll most likely make it after I make the DDLC fan game I mentioned some time ago. I'll also do my research and make it less westernised. I have some ideas for the redesigns, particularly with the gyarus. Their original designs are do god damn tacky and my idea was to make each of them wear a different type of the gyaru fashion so they're more unique.

[elizabethrobertajones]

(part 1) this is random but something im curious about is do you think the next few years will see a radical shift in more lead lgbt couples in shows? i feel like when supernatural started it was all about subtext/queerbating between characters we would never see canon (maybe), the last few years have seen an update in more side lgbt characters/couples and while not a lot, more main lgbt characters then we had before. I don't know if tumblr/twitter fandom translates to general audience...

Yeah, I mean, the only way is up. I feel lucky that I managed to encounter a fair amount of queer content in my formative years, whether targeted programming on TV, or taking the route of not really differentiating the perceived cultural value of independent media like webcomics and webnovels etc from the mass media as I was young enough to naturally grow up on the internet as the internet itself was growing up and web 2.0 was pretty much taking off alongside my use of the internet. And that I had liberal parents who didn’t regulate our internet, and lived in a community where culturally I didn’t really fear being discovered casually accessing all this like in particularly this terrifying seeming evangelical christian community in America.

Which really makes me feel like A: everyone should feel that comfortable in themselves via the media as I did as a mass accessible thing or B: that the world at large should be soaked in as much representation and more that I encountered as a curious teen because at the very least it did me no harm and at best helped handhold me through an awful lot. 

And then brings us to the problem that the world isn’t actually like that and for a lot of people their media is restricted one way or another, from everything such as the era of social media weirdly making us much LESS broadly travelled on the internet as I was back in the day (SO many bookmarks - I had like 100 that I would check either daily or on their weekly update schedule, with enough habit that I had pretty much memorised it all without using an RSS feed or just following everyone’s twitter and waiting for update announcements, never mind the vast pit of things which I occasionally checked to see if their sporadic but very worth it updates had occurred somewhere in the last month/year) to the vastly overwhelming amount of media accessible to us. It seems almost to flood the market and creates this panic about watching the worthiest shows and campaigning for them and raising awareness and the FOMO and how things slip by and zomg you have to watch this that and the other, when even just making this list on Netflix now contains more hours of TV than a human lifetime and also one liable to disappear from the service at some point or another without warning. 

And then on top of that you have the absolute cultural monoliths that if you’re not going to have a cohesive culture - which now includes the entire population of the world because of our connectivity on the internet and mass-joining of services - based around smaller shows and stuff, then at the very least everyone is going to watch anything under the main Disney umbrella, other superhero flicks, animated things, and all the really big studio franchises and remakes, as well as a few TV monoliths which manage to get enough people talking to make it seem like “everyone” (again - these days it seems like that’s presumed to be the entire western world plus everywhere else these things air) are watching, like Game of Thrones or whatever… THESE properties are the inescapable ones and on that basis they’re the things we have to lean on the most for representation and then again barely get any, when it comes to gender and sexuality, due to them shooting for such worldwide markets that they can’t imply gay people exist to censors in places such as China. And it exposes the cultural awfulness inherent just in getting a white female character in the lead role of some things, or the absolute garbage fire lurking underneath that if you dare have a black stormtrooper or make one of your female ghostbusters black when you’re already ruining the childhoods of so many how dare… 

In those respects, having side characters who aren’t even major well-known superheroes or jedis or ghostbusters or whatever also be gay (because even well-known lesbian Kate McKinnon didn’t manage to get her ghostbuster to be canonically gay even if we All Knew) would be absolutely groundbreaking, even if it was, like, a role that could be snipped out for the Chinese market or something. And that’s probably exactly what would happen, and cue ensuing riot from whichever fandom, along with everyone rightly pointing out that even for us who got to watch it it was still a tiny side character… I mean Disney is still at the stage of what they did with Beauty and the Beast’s ~canonical gay character~ 

So yeah… that’s thrown back to TV and smaller movies to lead the way and because the generations showing most likely the real global percentages but actually just the young western world stats on queerness in any form (like… 25% instead of 1% or whatever and that’s STILL probably too low) are still teens to young adults. The previous gayest generation above them are still just arriving in power and settling in, and the excellent changes we already have from the generation before that is what we are seeing now... But given THEIR cultural context, even their best can still seem to younger eyes, moderate and not generally placing queer characters in lead roles except in niche or indie or otherwise “acceptable” places to take those risks. I think change is always coming and culturally each generation being more open and accepting that the last is really making changes and so on, hopefully things WILL change rapidly and what was the common state of affairs in the sort of indie media I consumed as a teen will be the mainstream soon because a lot of those creators 10 years later are kicking off… 

All that said, TV in the mainstream is still controlled by Mark Pedowitz types exercising their power over the Bobos who have their Wayward Sisters pitches with the clearly labelled main character for the main teen demographic being queer. The culture is very much that we’re now pretty open and can happily have queer characters, but the main characters are still largely held separate. A good example is Riverdale, which is on the CW, a newer show with writers such as Britta Lundin, who is young, queer, and wrote a novel blatantly based on being a Destiel shipper and fan interacting with the cast and crew in fandom spaces, and whose first solo episode of Riverdale featured a looooot of the gay stuff (yay). 

But while she’s a story editor and writer for the show and can use it as a platform for writing stories for its audience using a whole range of canonically queer characters, the show still keeps all 4 of its mains at a strict remove from this. Cheryl can come out as a lesbian in the second season after a lil ho yay in the first but no clearly marked storyline about her identity, but even though Betty and Veronica kissed in the first episode it was blatant fan service (for Cheryl in-story, lol) and mostly just set the tone that they are the sort of seemingly straight girls kissing for attention while having strong romantic or physical attraction to guys. In the second season the kiss comes up again in joking that Jughead and Archie are the only ones of the main 4 who haven’t kissed, Archie gets one planted on him by a dude as a “judas kiss” moment of betrayal in season 3 and he and Jug are teased that they were expected to get together because they were close but in the same sort of homophobic undercurrent tones as early Destiel snarking from side characters, seemingly less about their relationship and more to unsettle them with implications… I mean it was a complicated moment but in the long run it didn’t seem entirely pleasant to me, especially given the overall emotional state they were in and later plot etc etc. (My mum is 1000% invested in Riverdale now as a former Archie Comics reader as a kid so this is now my life too as I was in the room when my brother callously exposed her to it, hi :P) 

Anyway that’s just one case study but aside from SPN it’s probably the most mainstream teen demographic thing I watch… Other examples would be things like B99 which had Rosa come out as bi and that’s awesome, and made us all cry a lot, but Jake, the clear main character even in a very strong and well-treated ensemble, has a great deal of bi subtext, there’s no way given Andy Samberg’s apparent habit of ad-libbing MORE progressive jokes that he’d ever be intentionally harming people if that’s how his brain works (you know, like other people quick-fire offensive stuff from their mouth working faster than brain sense of humour :P). But at the same time for all Jake’s quipping about crushes and such and the fact the show clearly knows how to be sensitive to bisexuality with Stephanie Beatriz being a strong advocate, just because Jake’s the main character and adorably married to Amy. In NO WAY can that be threatened because they’re SO GOOD, so there’s STILL uncertainty that this will pay off in the same special episode “I love my wife but I am bi” kinda way that seems obvious that could just be said. We all carry on without it affecting anything because obviously Jake’s found his soulmate so we don’t mess with that but they should know it’s important to clarify it… Even with B99′s track record, I’m nervous solely because Jake’s the main character and main characters tend not to get self-exploratory arcs about latent queerness and ESPECIALLY not if they’re happily married. If ANY show was going to do it right and trailblaze in this exact era it would be them, but… gyah :P 

Anyway I guess the conclusion right now is that the more mainstream you are the more uncertain it feels, but we are right at that cliff edge, especially with shows putting in SOME of the work. If B99 doesn’t get us there (or the Good Place where they’ll happily confirm Eleanor is bi in interviews but I believe she hasn’t said it outright on the show despite clearly showing attraction to female characters, again, the denials we know so well in SPN fandom reflect a wider audience view of dismissing this stuff as jokes and not reflective of character feeling and identification without a Special Episode dedicated to confirming it >.>) then we’re very clearly on the cusp of SOME mainstream or massively well-known show doing it at least once in a meaningful way that has an Ellen-style cultural impact on TV writing. 

Let’s make it a goal for 2019 or 2020, and hope that a NEW show with a canonically queer main from the start is pitched and becomes a mainstream hit in the next 5… Still got a ways to go before Disney level mainstream but again there IS work going pushing the envelope, especially if we get a movie of a franchise such as idk Further Legends of Korra, or Steven Universe or something else that’s massively pushed the envelope with sexuality or gender for their main character on the small screen in the experimental petri dish they’ve had there for children’s TV. Something that would force Disney to blink about a lesbian princess or Star Wars to let Finn and Poe kiss or Marvel to let Steve and Bucky hold hands or something in order to remain relevant.

Once the Big Cultural Monoliths get in on it, I expect culture as a whole to first of all react quickly on the small screen, but honestly I’ve been waiting for them to snap pretty much my whole life since adolescence and they’re taking such wee tiny baby steps, and some factors are enormous geopolitical awfulness, that the story as a whole is unpredictable and we can only really hope that things don’t slow down. 

(Where this affects SPN is just impossible to say right now, given its almost unique position in this mess due to longevity vs fandom vs almost entirely new generation of writers’ room) 

[running-batty]

According to the cdc there are 4 main strains of the flu. Each strain has spawned hundreds of variations thus why predicting which flu shot would be most effective each year is such a gamble. They have data to show what the trends are which makes it a more reliable gamble of course but every now and then one variation will spike suddenly that wasn't expected to.

We understand the flu. (Well medically.People still think flu shots are pointless)We've been treating the flu for decades and have four major shots to deal with these major strains.

We don't have that for covid-19.

One of the problems is people do not understand what it ment when they first spoke of it being a novel cronavirus. The very first version was a never before seen variant in humans. We understood some of his it worked based on other coronavirus' have worked before but otherwise we were in the dark.

One of the big problems we have is that knowledge of how viruses work isn't really taught unless you go to college. Most people will not know anything other than what their doctors have told them directly. Unless you have an interest and look into things on your own, which can be risky if you don't know how to tell misinformation sites from legitimate ones especially thanks to the shots=autism movement, you are working with limited information and very basics from high-school biology.

Like how many people are there who understand that if a virus makes a species jumps it becomes significantly more dangerous?

Covid-19 has jumped multiple times. We don't even know yet the exact amount of times since it's only been two years since this virus was spotted. We do know it moved from bats to humans. We know it can travel to cats and dogs. We know some other primates have had it and that's honestly very very bad because once it hits more than one species of primate it gets easier to move to more. There is a possibility raccoon-dogs, farmed mink, livestock, and possibly snow leopards which are endangered btw so they really don't need this shit. But look at the wide variety of mamals up there! If even half of that is confirmed we are going to see so many more variants and each one will be more adaptable and dangerous.

It's not fear mongering but it sure sounds like it when you never learned anything about how this works. Especially if you really don't want any of this to be true and already mistrust the medical community. It does not surprise me to know so many black people are not trustful of the vaccines, the cdc or the who due to the serious abuse they have faced and still are facing from the medical community.

Why trust a shot when they've given fake shots out to your community before? Laced with all kinds of shit just to see what it does to you? Or simply saline water because they don't want to treat you? When doctors still are being taught black people don't feel pain! It is understandable you would not trust a free vaccine under those circumstances right?

It does not help that the cdc put out their own misinformation due to pressure from Trump during his term. It also isn't great that this is the first time that we are getting live updates as the medical community learns more about the virus each day. It feels like you are being lied to when for months no one could agree on if face masks work, what kinds you should use and if social distancing actually worked or not and then finding out staying 6 feet apart won't do shit if you are in a poorly ventilated area.

Like fucking christ there is no way to make it safe to fly on a commercial airline.(let's not even get into how filthy airplanes are normally. Oof it's so bad..)

Where am I going with this? We started on shaking ground from the start. Low education on how viruses and vaccines work, medical abuse, misinformation, early constantly changing information, and out right malicious behavior. Then you mix in the fact that we can't put the planet on pause and that almost every country's governments would not stick to anything and would drop restrictions only to pop them back up and down like a yoyo causing serious financial disruption.

It's not great. But the people who I am the angriest at over fear mongering the vaccines? The people doing it for political gain. The people who benefit from poor people dying. Who want poc to die. Who only care about making sure they get voted into power or keep in power.

Though people who have been screaming against all vaccines or specifically the mmr before this can eat my entire ass.

This turned into a rant but yeah. The pandemic was purposely mishandled and underplayed from the start. Unless we suddenly have mass deaths equivalent to the small pox outbreak I can't see the popular anti Vax and covid denying attitude dropping. Even when each new variant is more dangerous than the last.

And honestly. We will be seeing the omicron variation is probably going to be found in the US in a month. It's already in Italy. It likely is already here.

Don't listen to selfish people. #SundaySermon

[undeservedfavor]

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The Bucketlist

Mini-Series of Short Stories

St. Valentines Day [EN]: Chapter 4

Two months has passed as they continued to work together until they finish the movie and gained so much awards and credit.

"Woohoo!!! Guys! Let's party! We all deserve it for all the hard work!" Director said.

"I think you guys need to talk about something. I don't know but while working with the both of you, we all feel sexual tension in the air." The celebrity Catherine said to Gisela when she noticed that Dorian is eyeing her from afar.

"H-he thinks he's so hot that he can get everyone. Though he told me he had indecent proposals in the past, 3 SMS, 4 Calls, 6 DMs, and 2 missed calls... He's not that hot." Gisela told the actress.

"Woah, so updated, are we?" Catherine gave Gisela a knowing look and a knowing smile.

"Can we talk?" After the Dorian's invitation, he and Gisela went to the nearest park.

"Whenever, I see that sand box, I remember Plage Solitaire. The most peaceful beach on the planet." Gisela just nodded to what Dorian said.

"I-im sorry." They both said in unison.

Then, they laughed a bit with embarrassment.

"L-listen-..." They said again in chorus.

"You go first." Dorian said.

"No. You should go first." Gisela said.

"Uhm, here you go... C-can we be together?" Dorian asked Gisela who shed tears immediately with the question.

"You don't understand. You don't wanna be with someone so-called 'Damaged Good'. I don't want you to regret it. You don't wanna be with me. You don't need to due to pity. You don't-..." Gisela's anxiety is overwhelmingly obvious.

"We do not know those things yet. Those are 'What ifs', you're far from a 'Damaged Good'. For me, you're a beautiful 'Work-in-progress' and hell, despite the controversies I had, I'm still in good condition, whatever you're going through, I will go through it with you. Whatever you're thinking, I'll help you overcome it. If there's someone who can try and understand you, that's me. For me, this isn't the time to waste time and fool around, this is not like the roles I play, this is real. You are real. I don't care how hard it is but no matter what, I wanna be a part of something so beautiful... A part of your plans in the future. Please. For old times' sake, let me be with you all the way." Gisela, lost for words nodded crying as Dorian also shed tears.

"Gisela, thank you. I love you..." Dorian whispered to Gisela as he caress the woman's hair, embracing her long and tight enough to make her feel safe.

"Let me drive you home." Dorian told Gisela.

They both started living under one roof at Dorian's condominium unit.

One morning, as they're lying on the bed, Dorian hesitantly asked about Gisela's list...

"Dear Piggy... A-are you still gonna continue with that list?" She showed him the list seeing number '6' crossed out.

"Back in the beach, I haven't really finished the list yet. Now, it's done. I actually skipped on number '6' and went straight to number 7, 8, 9 and 10. 'Cause you're not just any random guy... Technically you're my little Dino, but... You're the one." Dorian checked the list out due to his curiosity.

1. Earn a lot for the future. ✓

2. Quit the medical industry. ✓

3. Spend more time with the only family - Merian. ✓

4. Finish writing my novels and posting it to my writing/social platforms. ✓

5. Buy a house in Plage Solitaire at a chosen paradise to 'live and die' for. ✓

6. Have virginity taken by a random guy and leave him clueless afterwards. *Skip this part.* ✗✗

7. Get a writing job. ✔

8. Take care and fully pay insurance. ✅

9. Have the one closest to my heart, help me choose a casket and designs for the tomb.

Plus, choose a church for the blessing and perfect spot in the graveyard/cemetery.

10. Chose a great necrological service speaker. I want a great Eulogy.

Dorian just looked carefully at Gisela's face and embraced her tightly.

Then, she spoke...

"I know. I'm a weirdo." Gisela told Dorian.

"Piggy... You're kinda like scaring me with these things but if this is the way I can be with you, I'll understand, process and digest every single bit of it. I'm not even gonna ask you why you made this list in the first place but if you're ready to not give up on life, I'm gonna go with you if you decided to get yourself checked." Dorian said.

"I'll tell you when the time comes..." Gisela said.

The couple decided to go shopping.

No ordinary shopping but he's only doing it for Gisela even if he doesn't wanna consider the thought.

"You know what? I think this one will be okay. Ah! I know! Maybe I can also have a reservation my own. Same color as I've chosen for you. So when the time comes... We're still gonna go as a couple. Even if it's the after-life." Dorian joked a bit.

"Don't. Even though, couple shirts, couple rings and other couple stuff might be cute, I don't want you to think about a couple casket. You're a born villain. And villains don't die unless it's passed hundreds of years already. Plus, they don't even age. Time flies for them gracefully like a bloodline of a vampire." Gisela joked him back.

The next stop is to the cemetery.

They're choosing tomb designs.

"This is perfect, 'In loving memories of...-" Gisela was cut of.

"We can choose the designs Piggy but it's good to personalize those messages." Dorian said as he wrote things down on a paper.

You have lived a life full of love.

Soon, we'll meet and love again up above.

To the place where there is never-ending peace.

Love,

Your Dorian

Gisela smiled at Dorian and they went to the cemetery.

Gisela insisted to choose a spot.

"This spot is nice. The one near the tree." She said.

"I would already reserve those two spots next to each other. So that I can lie down with you forever when the time comes..." Dorian said Gisela shed tears and hugged Dorian.

"I don't wanna take you in this journey with me. You're not welcome this early to where I'm heading. Sorry for being so difficult but thank you for having number 9 checked off my list." Gisela said as she embraces her boyfriend.

A day after Dorian's shoot, he went home to Gisela and the house was empty.

Their things are scattered all over the floor.

The entire house was messy.

But...

There are no traces of Gisela everywhere.

She's missing.

"My dearest, why end up dodging the bullet once more? Running away and hiding again on me like that." Dorian whispered.

He searched everywhere for her and in a place he thought Gisela would go to.

"She's not here. She went through a deep trauma after she saw her parents died in the car accident. I know my cousin can be a handful, but please, don't give up on her." Merian said.

Dorian just nodded and headed off.

Dorian did not bring his car along to find Gisela in the hardest and most hidden places in the city.

As he was walking along the subway...

He found a cying woman.

With hands on her head and her hair covering her face.

Her hairs are tangled and all over the place.

Her skin's full of dirt.

When Dorian tried to look at the woman's face, he was shocked.

It was Gisela.

He brought the woman home and cleaned her up.

She fell asleep crying.

As soon as the woman woke up, she said she's gonna use the toilet.

"You sure you can stand?" Dorian asked. The woman just mindlessly nodded.

Dorian thought to check on Gisela when she's taking too long.

He did not lose hope until this sight.

He found Gisela lying unconsciously on the bathroom floor.

"Gisela!!!" He lifted the woman and brought her to the nearest hospital.

Dorian waited for hours for a doctor to come up to him and say that Gisela's okay.

"A-are you with her?" Dorian nodded as the doctor approached him.

"I'm doctor Ariel James Devant, Psychologist." The doctor introduced himself.

"We did not ask for a Psychologist, we need a Physician to have Gisela checked!!!" Dorian almost lost it.

"She's not physically sick. Not until now. We have pulled up a few counselling records of Gisela. In fact, I was her batchmate in Med-school, she quit and did not finish Med-school. So she just continued being a nurse. Because of her parent's car crash, her parents died in front of her in a car accident. She then became my first patient. I have checked on Gisela a few times and she never went back to the clinic afterwards. She's so indenial that something's physically wrong with her and insistent that she's nearing death, that she shuts down people who wanna have her checked by a professional or by any doctor. She has been diagnosed with constant fear of death that it lead to a severe case of anxiety." Doctor James said.

Dorian was not able to process what's happening and could not speak.

"People who has Thanatophobia, would not like to talk about death for it has caused them depression. On her case, it's different. For that's the only thing she wanna focus and talk about out of fear. Like her whole entire world revolves on the thought that she might, oh sorry, that she 'WILL' die. She already decided that for herself. Anxiety took a toll on her that her brain was mentally pausing because of too much stress, overwhelming worry, overthinking and unshown worry, sometimes this can cause nausea and problems with balancing." The same doctor continued talking.

"Maybe this is the reason why she 'slipped' in the bathroom. She lost consciouness in the bathroom because she might have hit her head on the floor. Now, there's internal bleeding, we need to have an operation ASAP to prevent brain mass. You have to prepare because the operation is risky, after that, she may go under a few days, weeks or even months in coma. Worst case is never to wake up." Another doctor spoke.

"My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is doctor Jessie Ulysis Voltaire. Neurologist and Physicist." He introduced.

After that, they all worked on Gisela's operation.

They spent hours to finish it and what they said was true...

Gisela fell into a coma for weeks now and counting.

Dorian held the woman's hand in his...

He got a Pig and a Dinosaur stuffed-toy that he put on the hospital bed beside her.

"Do you remember this Dear Piggy? You're Dinosaur's here to wake you up. You're my nurse. You shouldn't be lying there for a long time, at that bed. You're supposed to be the one who's taking care of me." Dorian said.

The woman was just unresponsive.

She was still deep asleep.

"You should have told me what you're going through. I should have understand. A-are you punishing me for loving you so much?" He said, sheding tears as he kissed the back of Gisela's hand.

[themarginalartist]

Gotta agree with the fact of every character being OC. I doubt there is difference between chars with studios behind them and chars made by one peep. Most interesting is the creativity with most of all, I think. Could read anything as far as it is creative. But how do you set good vibes to reader to make him stay and be excited for next chapter? I can see it happening on me when reading something, but I don't seem to find the key of doings to do so while I'm really interested on how

(I am so sorry this got really, really, really long so I’m putting it under a readmore, I am not kidding, this is ridiculously long. I checked before posting and it’s 1576 words (not including this bit here), which is like my normal chapter length so read at your own risk I guess???)

I mean a character is usually created by one person, or at least the initial concept of them is, then expanded on either by that person or the writers in order to weave them into the story. 

As far as getting a reader interested… I am not really sure why a lot of people are interested in my things…

But usually the way that gets me interested in reading something, and I am basing this off my response to different novels I’ve read (I’ll get to fan fics in a sec), is a combo of the synopsis and the first chapter being the hook. Now not every synopsis makes me want to read a novel, I have read many books where the synopsis made me go “huh” which is like mild interest, and then I start the first chapter if I have time, if by the time I am done with the first 2-3 pages and I haven’t found anything interesting the book gets put back. 

There was one time at a scholastics book fair that I read like the first 3 chapters of a book, it was while I was in high school and my brother was still in elementary school, but like I was hooked the moment I read it… The title escapes me though… 

As far as fanfics go, I used to be the most avid reader of them in my friend group, admittedly at the time I was looking for a very specific fandom and such, but my preference for fanfics is a longer story or longer chapters. My friends were not that way… Which made getting recommendations and giving them hard. 

But as far as what I like to see when I am browsing for a new fic is if the fic is hosted on FF.net or Ao3 a synopsis that doesn’t give the main plot away, but gives a quick intro to the idea, so for example on Think Ink (which I should update that synopsis I think) the bad version would be “Henry’s also been turned into an Ink Demon and now he has to figure himself out. Fighting different studio members and searchers in his journey to understanding himself.” where as “Henry woke up covered in ink, a spike of fear rushing through him, his life forever changed from that moment on.” is a bit better (not the best but yeah). 

Then comes the spelling and grammar component which I can’t stress enough. If the fics first chapter is extremely bad, and I am talking to the point were the word used is wrong, the spelling is wrong on a number of words, and there isn’t a clear tense being used, then I exit out, it doesn’t matter if I really like the synopsis or something or it’s an AU I liked, if the grammar and spelling makes the fic unreadable then it’s game over. 

Next is characterization, similar to spelling and grammar, if the character you are using is portrayed wrong, it’s also a game over. However there are a few exceptions to this. For example I used to really love Hetalia, the basic gist of the anime is that all the countries have a human representative but is also heavily biased as the Japanese stereotype of those countries. Italy in Hetalia is seen as an airheaded, easily frightened, guy who is a womanizer, eats pasta for literally every meal, surrenders in a second, and takes naps whenever possible, again this is the Japanese stereotype based in WW2. So if he’s characterized as being really serious there needs to be a damned good reason for it. You can’t just change a character to fit what you want if you’re basing it on someone else’s work. 

Next comes plot. Plot is key for any fanfic, I mean yeah every once in a while it’s fun to read a one off or throw away fic of cute activities like baking and stuff, but there’s no action or craziness (unless it’s a fic disguising itself as such which is also fun). The goal of the first chapter is set up. In a novel the first chapter is about introducing the main character(s), the world, and what the problem is. And fanfic is no different, however it has the luxury of us already knowing the character (in a way at least, take Spiderman, there’s the basic concept but there’s also a number of versions of him from different cartoon series and comic series). We might also have the luxury of knowing the world already as well, so that can be sorted out really fast, the rules and nature of the world are defined so we don’t need to explain anything. So then comes the problem, what is the character facing, is there something going on right now or is it coming, do(es) the character(s) have the power to stop it now or are they going to have to travel. The goal of the rest of the story after the first chapter is to show how the character(s) grow and change as a result of the difficulties they face in order to take care of the problem. 

And finally cutoffs. First what I mean by cutoffs is where an author chooses to create a time skip, scene change, or end of chapter point and I’ll talk about each of those in brief. 

For a time skip, the only reason that should happen in a fic is if the task at hand would be meaningless for the reader to know about like them going through all the steps of baking a cake (unless it’s to show the characters relationship with each other then don’t skip) or if there is a large gap of time where nothing important happens and I am talking about years of time, which is what happens in Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, there is a 7 year period where Link is “gone” from the world and so when he comes back to it many changes have taken place and so it’s a call to action for him. 

A scene change is similar to a time skip in some cases such as character x and y are driving and now scene change to x and y being at a motel for the night, but in other cases it’s a shift in who’s talking like we were getting told x’s point of view for a long time and now y is saying x is stupid or something. 

And finally the end chapter cutoff, which is honestly a hard one, there has to be a reason for the end of a chapter, a lot of times cliffhangers are the main way to go about it, but also resolution of a current problem is important to consider. For example chapter 4 of Think Ink was a cliff hanger I purposefully put in, one because it was evil and made people want the next chapter, and two because I wasn’t ready to continue on with the story at that point, I can’t tell you the amount of “omg what the heck why did you cut off there” I got from people. Now compare that to chapter 10 of Think Ink, the end of that chapter is Henry and Bendy finally coming to an understanding of each other, what has been going on with each of them separately, and the beginning of repairing the bond. It ties up loose ends that Henry and Bendy had been facing for a long time. 

Good vibes come from the care and dedication to the fic that you have. And every reader is different, they pick up on different things, they read something in different ways. I mean hell I have been asked if I wrote lines on purpose when the reality of the matter was I was just like hey this sounds good and it was by accident. But I think what a lot of people don’t think about is how not all stories have happy beginning, middle, and endings. Sometimes there is loss, there is anger, there is dumb decisions that a character made, there are mistakes and problems and too often I see fics that are just “oh everything is happy and good and light”, and that’s not interesting for a multi-chapter fic, maybe a chapter but not the whole thing. 

So in reality there isn’t a short answer. It just depends on how well you can connect with your readers. And it takes time, there have been plenty of fics that I begin reading after 4-5 chapters are already out or the fic has been completed, so don’t worry if people aren’t reading yet, just keep going and stuff. And not everything I said has to be a part of the fic, time skip and scene jump all over the place, make mistakes and get wild with writing. And the biggest thing, and best way to get better, is to make note of what you like the most, what caused you to like a writer’s style, why did this work, what hints did the author drop in order to lead you to this plot point. And it sounds like school work… but that’s because this is what you have to do for basically every English/Language Arts essay ever. analyze the text…

Congratulations on making it to the end of this monster wall of text btw. 🎉🎉🎉

[rp-sephiroth]

Is the FF7 remake now making the Compilation non-canon?? My friend gave me these news and I don't know if it's genuine information.

(continues:) My friend hates this possibility. She loves Crisis Core, and having that become non-canon brings several concerns.

Thank you for your question! 

A quick google search earned me no confirmation of this statement. But as a writer of FF7 fanfic writer/Sephiroth-roleplayer/Leiden university student of literature, I shall do my best to give you and educated and conclusive answer instead.

TL;DR: It’s unavoidable, and will have far-reaching implications for fandom community, but it will be OK and below’s why.

What is canon?This definition of canon from here is what I will be using in this post: 

Canon - a term borrowed from the Catholic Church, meaning ‘established truth’.  The definition of ‘canon’ is a bit vague, but is usually understood to mean the body of works upon which a fandom is based, and any information contained therein.  This is sometimes extended to include information in guidebooks, interviews, and other such sources. ��Also used to refer to information from different versions of a story: for example, the school uniforms in Harry Potter ‘book-canon’ are different from those in ‘movie-canon’. 

It is a way for the creators to indicate “this is the set of in-game truths and rules we are working with.” It’s a way to keep the rules that govern the world consistent. In Final Fantasy VII, one can either regard just the OG (original game) as canon, or the entire compilation as canon.

What happens if canon is made invalid?   This happened to the StarWars fandom. Around the first 6 films were novels, lego, books, fanarts, and fanfictions. This franchise is incredibly interesting because it does not make canon top-down (from the creators to the plebs), but also accepts work from fans (bottom-up). 

An example: anyone could write a StarWars book, as long as they stuck so guidelines set by the official creators and had it checked for approval. Anyone could be a stormtrooper, as long as you used the exact right plastic moulds and sent pictures of the finished product to the official people who approved it. (My first boyfriend did this for his cosplay.)

Anyway, the novels continued the storyline after film six (I believe all the main characters had children). But when LucasFilms and Disney embarked on making the 7th film, they decided to throw all that worldbuilding (universe-building) away. Why did they throw it away? Because for legal reasons authors cannot read fan-fictions and this post explains why (link).     In short: if the script writers of film 7 were to base film 7 on an any canon work, a fan could claim “I wrote a fanfic about exactly this” and face huge legal charges. Even/Especially a franchise that has a very agreeable bottom-up treatment of canon and fandom culture, has to watch out. Rey from film 7 is a completely new character, with her own timeline.

THUS THERE IS A BIG CHANCE THE CANON OF THE COMPILATION OF FINAL FANTASY 7 WILL BE DECLARED INVALID.

In the past, how has FF7 fandom dealt with canon vs new canon? A long time ago, the Original Game (OG) was the 'mothership’. Sephiroth was portrayed as evil. To give him any sign of niceness in fanfiction was considered out-of-character and greatly discouraged.Then FFVII Cisis Core came out, and certain fans rioted against the game’s portrayal of a kind, awkward Sephiroth.

For the Final Fantasy VII Remake to be identical to the Original Game with updated graphics would be impossible. Such a game would not sell. There will be changes in the game mechanics, dynamics, aesthetics, and narrative to make the game contemporary. I feel two ways about those changes: frightened and joyous.

How does it relate to online FF7 fandom communities?Now our 'canon’ 'mothership’ is the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII. Our current fandom community is built around what we have learnt of the compilation. Because FF7 is so big, it’s impossible to know everything about the story and characters and mechanics. People specialise, and draw on each other’s experience. 

My area of specialisation is Sephiroth, with in-depth knowledge of his scenes in Advent Children Complete, Crisis Core, Before Crisis, Kingdom Hearts, and Original Game. I’m still learning about his Dissidia, Ehrgeitz, and other versions. This knowledge of this character and interpretation of this character gives me social merit in roleplay communities. It’s said if you put 1000 hours of work into learning something, you are an expert. I’ve been writing Sephiroth on and off since I was 14. I’m 26 now. In my niche, I am an expert. Fans ask me questions about Sephiroth because they trust me to provide a plausible answer that conflicts least with canon.

But if/when the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII will be declared invalid, social status based on the no-longer-canon Compilation will be rendered useless. This means that when I make a statement on Remake-Sephiroth, all my arguments based on experience of (years!) of development of my Sephiroth will be useless. Scary.

This will upset the social structures of the communities. Experts are no longer expert. With the release of the first episode/chapter of the Remake, new fans and old fans start learning at the same time about the 'new’ canon. They will have the same chance to become expert. The one fan who will put in enough hours, will get most social status, will be crowned expert. 

Old groups of friends may stick together. New groups will form. New sub-communities rise. Some fans will riot against new information, as they did insisting that Crisis Core Sephiroth couldn’t be kind/awkward/friendly. More about attitudes and a ‘desired attitude’ later.

How can FF7 fans and roleplayers negotiate with old canon and new canon to find a position which they are comfortable with?The use of the word headcanon will go through a shift. 'Headcanon’ will no longer be a combination of traits/habits one puts on the character like a sticker (my trademark headcanon is that my Sephiroth puts his hair in a braid/my belief that Sephiroth follows the Jenova Omega Theory). Instead, the word 'headcanon’ will return to its old meaning: “In my head, this set of rules is canon.” The word 'headcanon’ will then refer to a set of metaphysical choices on how the FF7 world and characters function as a framework.

My friend @askcrv2 solved this question ingeniously. I’m taking a detour into the Vocaloid fandom: she writes a singing android robot. With robots, there are new versions every few years. The voice bank is updated. New songs. New merchandise… - and thus new canons. Nowadays version 4 is common. She writes version 2. She had her robot hide in a warehouse to avoid the garbage pile. This way, she can both stick to her old canons, but also in the new versions, her old version is still valid. Her robot complements new canon. Compliments to the writer!

The Compilation of Final Fantasy VII is fun, and I love it.It is not perfect. There are glaring inconsistencies. These plot holes could be changed in the Remake. But it’s not wrong to love the Final Fantasy VII from 1997 and style your preferences to that version.

IF/WHEN it’s made invalid… How do we as fans continue?When the Original Game and/or the Compilation as a whole be declared invalid, it will hurt. I will have to renegotiate my attitude towards Sephiroth as a character, and to the story as a whole, and find back my position in a new community. 

This game has kept me captivated for many years, so I have high hopes for the future product. I expect that the managers/teams/designers of the company have improved with 20 years more of experience. The Remake is being re-made from scratch. I have respect for the game team’s hard work and sacrifices. I imagine that every change in the  ’new canon’ will be a thoroughly-debated decision. The promotional video (link) of the Remake reveals the attitude the game-makers would like to see in the fans:

The reunion at hand may bring joy, it may bring fear, but let us embrace whatever it brings. For they are coming back. 

And that’s best of all. After 20 years, FF7 will be coming back. It’s not the fandom’s job anymore to re-create the world. The original creators will tell our favourite story back to us, and we can sit back… until we start making new fanworks!

Let’s embrace whatever it brings. 

Let’s make fantastic fanworks, and build warm communities.

The canon of the Compilation of Final Fantasy 7 will never be a forgotten memory. The Compilation will live on, inside us. I hope this post sufficiently answers your question. Tell your friend not to worry.

– rp-Sephiroth.

[blueteller]

Oh. OH. Ohhhhhhh!

KRS saw himself in Lock! That makes so much sense.

Weak? Cowardly? Unable to do anything to help? That checks out perfectly with his personal view of "20-year-old-KRS was a Useless Bastard until he became kinda usefull by 30"; says the delusional fool who became the best leader in Korea. And Lock, who never reached his full potential in the 5 volumes of TBOAH KRS got to read.

Thanks for clearing that up for me! It was very helpful

This part in 32 chp always felt kind of odd to me and this is the reason why:

The coward wolf boy, Lock. Until Choi Han found him, Lock had been hiding as the chief had told him. The Lock at that point is very much a coward, a weakling, and kind of slow. In simple terms, Lock easily took the position of the character that readers found to be extremely frustrating.

This has bothered me since I first read the novel, and to this day, even after several rereads, it still haunts me.

Cale simply isn't the type of a person to actually call a kid, no matter how they behave, to be "frustrating".

(When the text said "readers" it's damn well obvious of Cale being the one to think so.)

Pondering for some time I can roughly guess why the wording was so unexpected for his character.

At the time of the assassination/kindaping in the village, Lock was only thirteen years old. He also hasn't had his first berserk transformation yet. Therefore it is not surprising that Lock's uncle hid him and told not to go out, saying that everything was fine and he should continue to hide.

Now let's look at the situation realistically.

Lock (in tcf) jumps out of his hiding to protect his younger siblings. The adrenaline and inner Blue Wolf Tribe's instincts to protect turned on his berserk transportation one year beforehand, however if not Rosalyn and Choi Han, who came earlier than in the actual novel, i don't think it would help much.

Lock would possibly be able to kill a few people or at least seriously injure them, but CMON. They killed an ENTIRE village full of berserk Blue Wolf's and with almost-Wolf King (Lock's uncle). Do you really believe that a thirteen years old boy jumping into his first berserk transformation would be able to fight properly against strong organization that had holy water or some sort of holy artefact on their hands?

Again, if not for Choi Han's and Rosalyn's arrival... it would have definitely ended pretty bad.

In TBOAH Lock for some reason didn't jump out. Different circumstances, wrong wroted part in the novel, idk, but the fact is stated: Lock stayed hidden. He also most likely survived only because of Choi Han's help. Just with much worse scenario where he was left alone from the whole village.

And it wasn't Lock's fault yet again. He was a child. No matter if a Beastman one or not, the boy was just an innocent, naive and weak child.

So why would Cale, Kim Rok Soo at the time, find him frustrating? Extremely so even!

The answer is much easier if you think about it.

Because it wasn't Kim Rok Soo blaming a kid for being weak and cowardly in a fearful situation, it was a man who saw his own past that he hated so much.

A coward, a weakling and kind of slow.

For Rok Soo, who blamed himself for half of his life for the deaths of team one members, Lock was like a salt for still open, but ignored wounds.

KRS greatly disliked and maybe even envied Lock for a bit. The boy got a new family, he got friends and some sort of guidance from them even after facing so much despair.

While he was all alone, trying to understand what to do on his own.

It sure is irritating for Rok Soo.

Yet Team Leader Kim Rok Soo was probably unable to fully hate Lock for his weakness, because while the latter was still a kid, the same forgiveness can't be used on him. At least in his own head.

So with conflicting feelings Cale settled on "Extremely frustrating" description.

[lifeofamanhwareader]

Soooooo I know you said you are afraid of not knowing all of his trauma.. the thing is.. we only ever got context of his childhood. And adulthood. We never got information about his teenage/life before apocalypse.

Yet.

This part in 32 chp always felt kind of odd to me and this is the reason why:

The coward wolf boy, Lock. Until Choi Han found him, Lock had been hiding as the chief had told him. The Lock at that point is very much a coward, a weakling, and kind of slow. In simple terms, Lock easily took the position of the character that readers found to be extremely frustrating.

This has bothered me since I first read the novel, and to this day, even after several rereads, it still haunts me.

Cale simply isn't the type of a person to actually call a kid, no matter how they behave, to be "frustrating".

(When the text said "readers" it's damn well obvious of Cale being the one to think so.)

Pondering for some time I can roughly guess why the wording was so unexpected for his character.

At the time of the assassination/kindaping in the village, Lock was only thirteen years old. He also hasn't had his first berserk transformation yet. Therefore it is not surprising that Lock's uncle hid him and told not to go out, saying that everything was fine and he should continue to hide.

Now let's look at the situation realistically.

Lock (in tcf) jumps out of his hiding to protect his younger siblings. The adrenaline and inner Blue Wolf Tribe's instincts to protect turned on his berserk transportation one year beforehand, however if not Rosalyn and Choi Han, who came earlier than in the actual novel, i don't think it would help much.

Lock would possibly be able to kill a few people or at least seriously injure them, but CMON. They killed an ENTIRE village full of berserk Blue Wolf's and with almost-Wolf King (Lock's uncle). Do you really believe that a thirteen years old boy jumping into his first berserk transformation would be able to fight properly against strong organization that had holy water or some sort of holy artefact on their hands?

Again, if not for Choi Han's and Rosalyn's arrival... it would have definitely ended pretty bad.

In TBOAH Lock for some reason didn't jump out. Different circumstances, wrong wroted part in the novel, idk, but the fact is stated: Lock stayed hidden. He also most likely survived only because of Choi Han's help. Just with much worse scenario where he was left alone from the whole village.

And it wasn't Lock's fault yet again. He was a child. No matter if a Beastman one or not, the boy was just an innocent, naive and weak child.

So why would Cale, Kim Rok Soo at the time, find him frustrating? Extremely so even!

The answer is much easier if you think about it.

Because it wasn't Kim Rok Soo blaming a kid for being weak and cowardly in a fearful situation, it was a man who saw his own past that he hated so much.

A coward, a weakling and kind of slow.

For Rok Soo, who blamed himself for half of his life for the deaths of team one members, Lock was like a salt for still open, but ignored wounds.

KRS greatly disliked and maybe even envied Lock for a bit. The boy got a new family, he got friends and some sort of guidance from them even after facing so much despair.

While he was all alone, trying to understand what to do on his own.

It sure is irritating for Rok Soo.

Yet Team Leader Kim Rok Soo was probably unable to fully hate Lock for his weakness, because while the latter was still a kid, the same forgiveness can't be used on him. At least in his own head.

So with conflicting feelings Cale settled on "Extremely frustrating" description.