#and who would put in the effort to know the real me underneath the RBF

[sortablue]

the crux of the matter is; i am a fundamentally unloveable person. I am pretty in the way only other girls find pretty. I am funny in the way only a few people find joy in. I don’t know how to flirt and I don’t know how to tell if other people are flirting. I don’t know how to express that I am interested without being presumptuous and I am afraid to approach someone unless they show a sign of interest.

the crux of the matter is; i am a person with little to brag about and even less to make up for the lacking. I am not pretty enough to forgive my apathy. I am not funny or kind enough to forgive my looks. I am strange and unfamiliar even to myself and I carry around a face of polite disinterest at best and active scorn at worst. I am, at my core, a person that nobody would love and i feel that nobody would choose me if they had any choice at all.

I am fundamentally unloveable, and i struggle to come to terms with this.