#and while you grab a spare suitcase you see her reach between her mattresses and pull out a noose. she throws it away in the trash

[clamorybus]

sometimes i think about that time in high school when i had a breakdown in class and was gnawing through my hand and sent to the psych ward. but from my moms perspective

[keanureevesisbae]

The alluring charm of Henry Cavill - Chapter 10

Summary: After the livestream, Henry is trying to move on from this. However, that is harder than it seems. 

Henry Cavill x Adelaide Park (ofc)

Wordcount: 4.4k

Warnings: None

A/N: The formatting of this chapter is a bit different than usual, but I felt this would be the best way to describe Henry’s feelings. 

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

1 hour after the livestream

Henry fucked up. Henry truly fucked up. After he watched Adelaide step into that cab, the tears so evident in her eyes, he pushed all the cameramen out of his sight and didn’t want the other contestants to ask him any questions about this.

And because Henry obviously has a mature and adult way of dealing with his emotions, he locks himself up in the bedroom. The same bedroom where he made all those memories with Adelaide. He remembers her sleeping as soon as she would hit the mattress. Her fingers grazing over his arm. Her sleeping body securely in his arms, her head on his chest and the soft good morning kisses when they slept in the tent during their last challenge.

He takes ahold of the pillow Adelaide slept on and as he sits on the bed, he brings it to his face. He pushes his nose into the fabric, as he can still smell the hints of her perfume, her skincare products and her shampoo.

Tears of frustration burn in his eyes, as he continues to remember the hurt in Adelaide’s eyes just now. All because of him.

He fucking hates himself.

Yes, he cannot and will not deny the fact he did talk poorly about her, however he regrets every syllable of it. He knows better now, so much better. Adelaide Park is amazing and has so much to offer. They were planing on getting to know each other even better after this stupid program had ended.

But that is all over now and it’s all is fault.

He hates this show, every single producer and editor who works here and his agency. Especially his agency. He wants to sue every single one of them who were involved in making that heinous compilation, the one blew everything out of proportion, but he needs to think this over, before he makes any rash decisions. Decisions that might only do more damage than any good.

Henry stands up from the bed, to grab his suitcase and starts packing. He needs to leave this place, go back to England, to his own place and think about this.

Adelaide specifically asked not to mention her or talk to her and he should honor her wishes. That is the least he can do after everything that happened.

However, he should release a statement of his own. He should leave his agency. He should reach out to her in another way than directly contacting her. He needs to know whether or not she is okay.

Well, she might not be okay, but he needs to know how she feels. That she knows he is sorry, because he is sorry.

Very sorry.

Fuck, he is such a loser for letting her go like this. Adelaide was totally right. He should’ve been honest with her. Told her about his earlier thoughts regarding her and why he participated in the first place, but also specifically tell her how he changed his mind.

About her, about them, about him playing James Bond.

Henry grabs his phone, so he can check when the first flight back to England is, but he stops mid unlocking his phone and stares at his background. A few days ago, he changed his wallpaper in a picture of the both of them, sitting on the couch. Adelaide’s arms wrapped around his neck, her cheek pressed against his and her eyes shine with happiness.

Henry growls out of frustration. ‘Fuck,’ he hisses between clenched jaws. He already misses her, only sixty minutes after the live stream. He needs to think about this, because he will do anything to clear her reputation, to make it up to her.

Simply because he cares about her and only her.

His Adelaide Park.

◎ ◎ ◎

1 day after the livestream

‘Pick up, pick up, pick up,’ Henry mutters impatiently when he has his phone pressed against his ear. He is back home, as he wanders through his house. He really needs her to pick up. He needs to talk to her.

‘Henry,’ he hears Angela say in a flat tone when she finally picks up. Okay, she is mad and rightly so. ‘How are you?’

‘Not good,’ he answers in all honesty, because lying to Angela Bassett is only asking for trouble really. ‘Please, don’t spare me. I know you saw the livestream, I know you think I fucked up.’

She scoffs. ‘Well, in that case: you truly messed this up. I can’t believe you did this, Henry.  Adelaide Park has been nothing but an angel to you and I honestly thought you liked her.’

‘I do like her,’ he says in a defensive and louder tone.

She is not impressed with his tone. ‘And yet you still broke her heart. What a way to show her you care.’

He doesn’t need to get defensive. This is all his own fault and he deserves this. ‘I know. I’m a fucking idiot.’

‘That’s an understatement,’ she mumbles. ‘Tell me, what do you want from me?’

Henry lets out a deep sigh. ‘I don’t want to call her, because she told me not to talk to her. I want to respect that and I need to respect that, but I have to let her know at least one more time how sorry I am. I regret the words, I regret not being honest to her. I’ll accept whatever answer I get, but I need her to know how sorry I am.’

Angela doesn’t say anything and Henry fears he overstepped. Overstepped a lot.

‘Okay,’ she says, ‘I’ can do that. However, after this, you really need to reflect on this situation. You have broken her heart and ruined it for yourself. Get away from that abysmal agency you’re under contract with and share a statement on every social media platform you have.’

‘I’m already drafting something and I really want to leave that agency, I can tell you that.’

‘Good, because you need to clear your name. I don’t know if that is going to work, but you need to at least try.’

‘I know. Thanks Angela. I owe you.’

‘You sure do,’ she says and hangs up shortly afterwards.

Henry takes a seat on the stool at the bar and looks at the piece of paper on the counter, filled with scribbles and notes. He should make a neutral statement, where his sorry and remorse clearly comes through. He has seen the reactions on her pictures. Fans constantly tag him underneath her pictures and her underneath his and he sincerely hopes they stop doing that.

She doesn’t deserve this at all. She doesn’t need to be reminded of his actions on every social media platform she’s on.

He continues to scribble down words and eventual sentences he can use in his statement. Angela is right: he should do this.

He doesn’t know how long he is bend over the notebook, as he continues to write down a statement that actually satisfies him, but he gets pulled out of his thoughts when he sees the screenshot Angela has send to him.

And it’s what he expected. Adelaide doesn’t accept his apology (which he understands) and she tells Angela she doesn’t want to talk to him ever again, let alone see him. He opens up her Instagram, stares at her beautiful face. He misses her, but this is all his fault.

And Henry should live with that.

◎ ◎ ◎

2 weeks after the livestream

Henry stares at the screen on his laptop, as he checks out the announcement for the newest movie starring Adelaide and David Castañeda. He keeps wondering what would’ve happened if he actually had auditioned for it.

Wondering is all he does nowadays. Wondering how his life would look like now if he has just been honest with Adelaide. Wondering about them together, if the livestream went well, instead of exploded in the way it did.

He “broke up” with his agency and is currently looking at others, hoping to find himself a new and suitable one. One that wouldn’t do something like this. He always had a little bit of issues with the previous agency, but they offered him pretty decent jobs and he figured that was the most important thing. He never realized how much they interfered in his own personal life.

Henry closes his laptop. He barely left the house after he got back from Italy, except to do some groceries, so he wouldn’t starve to death. He is barely on his phone, just to let Angela, his family and friends know he is sort of doing okay. However he does turn down every invitation to hang out, simply because he can’t face anyone right now. He can barely face himself.

While he continues to attend his own pity party, he has checked what Adelaide has been doing and from the looks of it, she is doing great. She is absolutely glowing and obviously dealing much better with this than he is. She has been putting on a brave face for years now, so dealing with this seems like a piece of cake to her.

At least, that’s what it looks like to the public. During Tommy Hilfiger collaboration, she had this calm glow over her and the reactions underneath the pictures told her so as well.

Later the newest movie announcement with her, David, Reese Witherspoon and Paul Rudd was made. After that announcement, she has been pretty active on Instagram again and he has seen the pictures pop up at his explore page. He resists the urge to check her stories, but decides it would be for the best he doesn’t do that, simply because he feels like he shouldn’t intrude like that.

Fuck, he wishes he would feel better, but he doesn’t. Deep down he feels like he should forgive himself and at least try and move on, but he can’t seem to find the strength to forgive himself for his actions.

His fans reacted well to his statement and lots of people said reality tv can make everything look worse than it actually is. While it was definitely made worse than it actually was, he still feels bad and realizes he shouldn’t be as easily forgiven as he is now.

Henry is still thinking about suing the program, but he decided to just drop it. He doesn’t even have the energy to think about a lawsuit, let alone actually do it.

There is one thing to be happy and grateful about: Adelaide seems to do okay and for now, that is all that actually matters to him.

◎ ◎ ◎

1 month after the livestream

The 8seconds event Adelaide attended for her collaboration with them, might’ve been the worst things that happened to either of them since the livestream. Henry did look up the event, because he just wants to continue to see how she is doing. He saw the moment the journalists could ask questions and especially the second one journalist asked if Adelaide had spoken to Henry after the statement and what she thought of it. Her face never showed any emotions and she simply thanked everyone for their time and walked off.

Almost as if it was a diversion planned beforehand, David Castañeda posted a picture on his Instagram of her and the attention was immediately shifted away of the awkward matter. People are now speculating whether or not the two of them are dating and while Henry thinks that is not the case, you simply never know. The public at least is already shipping them and Henry would lie if he didn’t think the two of them would be a great match.

Henry finally managed to drag himself out of his own house and he is now at his parents. He did ask them if they couldn’t ask about Adelaide, since he would like to forget about the situation and so far, they thankfully honored his wishes.

She continues to feed him with extra little cupcakes and cookies and normally he would politely decline, but now he eats like he hasn’t eaten for days. He goes to the gym a whole lot nowadays, to get his mind of the whole Adelaide situation, so he doesn’t really care.

‘Okay, dear, I know you are still sad, but it has been four weeks,’ his mom says, as she places her hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. So much for not mentioning Adelaide. ‘You released the statement, you let go of your old management and you are keeping your side of the bargain. You are not texting her, you are not mentioning her. Yes, you hurt her, but you have learned from this.’

‘I know, I know.’ He rubs his face and looks up at his mom. ‘I just can’t believe I did this.’

‘Me neither,’ his dad mumbles. ‘I thought we taught you better than that.’

This hurts, but Henry deserves this. ‘You did.’

His dad sits up straight on the couch and stares at him, without even saying anything to him. No matter how old Henry is, that still makes him nervous. ‘You better have learned from this, Henry, because I’m rather disappointed in you.’

◎ ◎ ◎

2 months after the livestream

◎ ◎ ◎

5 months after the livestream

Henry managed to get his life kinda back to how it was pre-Adelaide. He has found himself a new agency and a wonderful agent, Julia, who managed to get him a great new role in a sci-fi movie. The filming process went great and he loved to be on set again.

Right now he is on his first press tour for the movie he did before the Celebrity Project ‘The Royal Heist’ with Anne Hathaway as his co-star.

Of course he still thinks about Adelaide, he thinks about her quite often as a matter of fact. He watches her interviews, he sometimes sees a picture of her on his Instagram explore page. Sometimes it’s a picture she posted herself, sometimes it’s a picture posted by David or someone else from the crew or a fan account.

It’s hard sometimes, not to think about her. Occasionally he wakes up un the middle of the night, thinking about her and seeing her laugh flash in front of his eyes. He realizes that of course he misses her, but it’s for the best they both move on without one another. From the looks of it, she is absolutely glowing and for that he is forever grateful. He feared she would blame herself, maybe completely hide herself, but she doesn’t. She has flourished and is not afraid to show it to the entire world. During her interviews she seems relaxed and makes a joke every now and then.

Henry sits next to Anne, as they are about to answer some questions about the new movie. The two of them joke around a bit, as Anne just recently discovered the wonders of Snapchat filters. It’s nice to have fun and not feel guilty as he did before. When he witnessed Adelaide having fun and being happy again, he felt it was okay for him to do so as well.

The questions about the movie are pretty basic, but after a while the interviewer seems less nervous than when he started. However, him feeling more confident, might have given him the impression he can actually ask questions he really shouldn’t be asking.

‘After the Celebrity Project, have you and Adelaide Park cleared the air with one another?’

Henry clenches his jaw. He wants to say a lot to this man. How he should mind his own fucking business, how Henry is going to rearrange his face for asking such thing, but then he remembers what Adelaide wanted from him.

He managed to do so for five months and he will not quit. Not now. ‘I thought my agent told you before hand I will not answer any Celebrity Project related questions.’

The interviewer doesn’t seem to care and continues to ask questions about how Adelaide was in real life, what they did when the camera’s were off and what he would do to make it up to the actress.

While he is nearly exploding with rage and anger, Anne manages to divert the conversation and when the end is near, Henry doesn’t thank the interviewer. He simply gets up to go outside for a fresh breath of air. The second he is outside, he takes a deep breath. Turned out he maybe wasn’t over Adelaide as much as he thought he was.

Henry grabs his phone and does something he hasn’t done for a while now. He goes to her account and checks the pictures. He sees the amount of David Castañeda related posts, so he goes to the actor’s page, where he sees excess of Adelaide pictures. She looks radiant and beautiful.

‘You okay?’ Anne asks, as she walks out of the building to stand next to him.

‘Yeah, I’m okay,’ he says, closing off Instagram and pushing his phone back into his pocket. ‘I made a promise and I wanted to keep that one.’

‘You did,’ she says with a smile. ‘Really, don’t let that idiot get to you. Weirdly enough, this is his job and you did well. As a thank you for diffusing the situation, you can buy me a coffee later today. Now, let’s go back inside. I’m wearing a flimsy bra and I don’t want the entire world to know I’m freezing.’

◎ ◎ ◎

8 months after the livestream

It has been eight whole months after the livestream and Henry finally thinks he is actually over the entire situation. The Royal Heist is nominated for an award, just like he was for his role in the movie. The rude interviewer three months ago was the last one to bring up Adelaide and thankfully he was, because Henry might’ve thrown some punches if someone asked about it.

He runs his hand over his black velvet jacket, before Anne stands next to him and says: ‘Maybe you should frown a little less.’

‘I’m not frowning,’ he says with a smile. ‘Just concentrated.’

‘Thus frowning.’

The two of them are guided by some very nervous assistants, who are managing the photo opts. And while he is slightly distracted by Anne and her embarrassing stories about other red carpets events, the commands of the paparazzi are becoming louder and louder and it gains his attention.

‘Adelaide, look over here! You look beautiful!’ Henry stretches out his neck and sees Adelaide Park, looking beautiful as ever.

The white dress she wears hugs her figure nicely and the matching heels create the illusion her legs are endless. Her long blonde hair, probably lengthened by extensions, is pulled together in a fancy ponytail.

Henry thought he was doing pretty well over the past months, thinking he was over her, but seeing her in real life… It makes him realize him being over her was all pretend. He can’t forget her.

Adelaide Park is the love of his life.

Fuck, what a moment to come to that realization.

He watches closely as David Castañeda stands next to her as he joins her. He plays her love interest in the movie, the man that has been all over her Instagram and the same man who she has done multiple interviews with. David looks like a nice guy, who seems a great friend to Adelaide.

David places his hand on her waist and together they pose for the camera. It’s weird seeing her like this. This at ease with someone else. When Henry met her, she was tense with stress, but that all disappeared. Of course he kept track of her, mostly to see how she was doing.

And she was blossoming and still is.

Henry watched their new movie, ‘Warm Up Period’ and it was an amazing romantic comedy, one of the best he has ever seen. Adelaide sure has a way of acting in these types of movies. It was all part of the job of course, he knows that, but he couldn’t push away those jealous thoughts he experienced when he watched their more intimate scenes. It’s all pretend—he knows that—but he could feel their connection through the screen. The way David touched her bare back, how the camera zoomed in on the goosebumps on her skin, the kisses they shared.

It was enough to make him green with jealousy.

‘You haven’t heard one single bit of what I was telling,’ Anne Hathaway concludes and he quickly looks at her. ‘You’re still not over her, aren’t you?’

He doesn’t know what to say. ‘I’m just happy to see she’s doing good,’ he eventually says, while still looking at her. Maybe she senses that someone is gawking at her, because she looks to the side, but he quickly looks away.

That’s what she wanted from him. If he saw her before she saw him, he should walk away.

◎ ◎ ◎

Afterparties aren’t really Henry’s thing, but he feels obligated to stay, especially after he won ‘Best Actor’. Other actors congratulate him as he makes his way through the hall and he puts on a brave face, but in all honesty: he is feeling miserable.

From a distance, he sees Adelaide standing all by herself. He could simply do it, he thinks to himself. He could walk up to her and talk to her. If she doesn’t want him there, he’ll understand and walk away.

Reluctantly, he walks up to her and when he is close enough for her to hear him, he takes a deep breath. He really is going to do this… ‘Hi Adelaide,’ he gently says to her.

She looks up, her eyes enlarging when she realizes it’s him. From up close she is even more beautiful. She looks breathtakingly gorgeous with blonde hair, but he misses the way her light brown hair made her look. It reminds him of a time where things were simpler and better.

Adelaide blinks a few times and says: ‘Hi,’ in a soft tone.

He missed hearing her voice. ‘If you don’t want to talk to me, just say so. I was just wondering how you’ve been.’

She clears her throat, as she studies his face. ‘I’m good,’ she answers and he lets out a sigh of relief. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m okay,’ he says, but his voice is telling otherwise. He is not okay, he is an utter mess. He just became a bit better at hiding it over the past couple of month.

She must sense that too, because she frowns for a split second. ‘Congratulations,’ she tells him and it sounds sincere. Of course it sounds sincere, the words come from Adelaide herself, the embodiment of sincerity. ‘The movie was really good and you deserved to win best actor. You were great.’

‘Thank you,’ he says. Henry can’t believe he used to be so comfortable around her and now he’s getting heart palpitations simply by looking at her. ‘You look amazing, Adelaide.’

She nods. ‘Thank you.’ She takes a sip of her champagne and purses her lips for a brief moment, probably thinking about what she can say. ‘I heard you turned down James Bond.’

Henry nods. ‘Yes, I did. I didn’t want to be part of that franchise.’

‘Was it because of me?’ she asks.

He sighs. ‘Well, I think you were part of my decision. I think I should thank you.’

Adelaide simply nods. ‘Right.’

Henry knows he shouldn’t do it, but he can’t stop himself. ‘Adelaide, I’m so terribly sorry for everything I did. I know I hurt you and it pains me every single day to know I betrayed your trust. Trust I didn’t even deserve in the first place.’

She simply shakes her head. ‘Please don’t do this, Henry. It’s all okay.’

‘No, it’s not okay,’ he tells her, taking a step closer to her, while still maintaining an appropriate distance from her. She doesn’t step back and from the looks of it, she actually is open to what he has to say to her, so he better make it worth while. ‘You had every right to be as mad as you were and I totally understand. I was just hoping that maybe we can talk about it, clear the air, so we can be in the same room together.’

Adelaide blinks her eyes a few times. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ he confirms. ‘And if you don’t want to, I respect that. Just wanted to at least have suggested the idea to you.’

She nods. ‘Okay, just not here.’

‘Of course not,’ he quickly says. ‘How about we do coffee tomorrow? I know a nice place around here. They have nice cappuccino’s. If you want to of course. Maybe you want to meet up somewhere else, that’s fine with me.’

She shakes her head. ‘Coffee tomorrow is good,’ she says. Her eyes are brighter than the first few moments he started to talk to her. That’s a good sign, right?

Henry nods, as he counts his blessings, thankful that she actually agrees to this idea. ‘Good, good.’

Her co-star David walks over to the two of them and stands next to Adelaide. ‘Hi,’ he says when his eyes fall on Henry, holding out his hand. ‘Congratulations, man. I loved the movie and you were great. Very well deserved.’

‘Oh, thank you,’ he says with a smile, because David’s friendliness is contagious.

David places his hand on Adelaide waist. ‘Ready to go? Our limo is ready.’

Adelaide tears her gaze away from Henry and meets David’s eyes. She smiles at her co-star, in a way only she can do. This shouldn’t make him jealous, not after all these months they spend apart.

But seeing her this close to someone other than him, confirms what he thought earlier that night.

He missed her more than he originally figured.

‘I am,’ she tells David. ‘Henry, I’ll see you tomorrow then. You still have my number?’

As if he would erase her number. Ever. ‘I do.’

‘Text me a time and address and I’ll be there.’ She sends him a soft smile, before turning around. She walks off to the exit with David, his hand still in the dip her waist.

Henry stares after the pair, as his blood boils with rage and jealousy.

But he shouldn’t be. He can’t be.

Besides, the most important thing is: he is going to talk with Adelaide Park, face to face. He quickly looks over the crowd, to see if he can find Anne, so he can say his goodbye and go to his hotelroom to prepare, because this might be his only chance to make things right between him and Adelaide.

[stillsearchingforsomething]

A little Kaylor fix for Karlie’s birthday

I meant to have this up over the weekend to coincide with Karlie’s actual birthday but I was not expecting the Secret Sessions to take place last weekend which kinds threw the timeline off but any hoooo....

As always here is a little dose of Kaylor fluff to lift our spirits, I know some people are down because of the Vogue article but keep the faith guys, we are playing the long game here.... and as always take a break if you need to. 

I’ll just be here writing fics anyway... Once more unto the breach, more fluff and feels under the cut.

Taylor is jolted awake as her SUV pulls to a stop outside Karlie's parent's house in St. Louis. She hadn't slept much on the ten hour flight from London, the adrenaline of playing her album for a room full of strangers hard to shake. She glances at her phone to check the time as her security unloads her small suitcase. Taylor frowns as she realises that with the time difference it's not even 7am in St Louis and there's a strong possibility that none of the Klosses are awake.

She debates just letting herself in, she knows there's a spare key kept under one of Tracy's potted plants on the porch but she doesn't want to overstep. Or she could just text Karlie to see if she is awake but she knows that the odds of her fiancee being awake before 9 am on a day off are slim to none.

Taylor is pulled out of her musings by the sound of small paws tapping as Joe trots around the corner and Taylor smiles as she bends to scoop him up.

"Who's awake buddy?" Taylor asks as she scratches the dog behind his ears, knowing that if Joe is outside then someone must be up. She follows the porch around the corner and finds Tracy sipping her morning coffee on the patio.

Tracy smiles and she holds out her arms to Taylor. "You made good time sweetheart, we weren't expecting you till later."

"I know, it didn't go on as long as we thought. I was in the air by about 3 am," Taylor says as she happily moves closer for a warm hug.

"You must be exhausted," Tracy says as she pats the spot on the porch swing beside her. "Do you want to head upstairs and try and get some sleep? Or would you like a cup of coffee?"

"I feel like if I try and sleep now I won't wake up and I don't want to miss any of the day," Taylor chuckles as she plops down beside Tracy.

"Let me make you some coffee then, I just brewed a fresh pot," Tracy says gently patting Taylor's thigh before heading back into the kitchen through the patio doors.

Tracy's back moments later with Joe still at her heels and she slides Taylor's favourite mug in front of her before settling back on to the porch swing beside her.

"What's the plan for today?" Taylor asks, her eyes sliding closed as she savours her morning coffee.

"It's going to be pretty relaxed I think, Karlie didn't want any fuss, just everyone in the same place for the day," Tracy says as she pats Joe who has hopped up on the swing between the two women. "I'm going to start on breakfast in the next little while."

Thirty minutes later, Taylor has drained the last of her coffee and makes her way upstairs to see if Karlie is awake. She pauses in the doorway to Karlie's childhood bedroom which is still painted pale blue from the time Karlie took it upon herself to redecorate when she was thirteen and takes in the view of her fiancee sprawled out on her bed, one foot dangling off the side of the bed and her arms buried under her pillow. Taylor can never get over how someone who is so graceful when they are awake could be such a messy sleeper.

She perches on the edge of the bed and gently pushes strands of Karlie's short blonde hair off of her forehead.

"Karlie, baby..." she coaxes, pressing kisses to Karlie's temple.

"Hm," Karlie hums and she buries her face deeper in her pillow.

"Wake up sunshine..."

"Why?" Karlie asks, voice gravelly.

"Because it's your birthday," Taylor says as she slides into bed beside Karlie and Karlie whines petulantly but she does slide over to let Taylor settle more comfortably beside her.  

Taylor curls around Karlie, wraps an arm around the blonde’s middle and cuddles up behind her. 

“When did you get here?” Karlie mumbles sleepily, her question muffled by her pillow. 

“About an hour ago.” 

“Hmm,” she hums and Taylor thinks she’s fallen asleep but then she speaks again. “Tell me, how did the Secret Session go?” 

“It was good, we had a lot of fun and they really seemed to like the album” Taylor explains, peppering kisses along the back of Karlie’s neck. 

Karlie hums knowingly and there’s a lazy smile on her face as she shifts away from Taylor enough to turn onto her back. 

“Of course they did, it’s brilliant.”

“Happy Birthday baby,” Taylor whispers with a soft smile that Karlie returns. 

She watches the light stream into the bedroom and catch on Taylor’s skin, revels in the sight of the woman hovering over her, warmth filling her. She shifts even closer, uses Taylor’s arm around her waist to tug the blonde closer and leans up to kiss Taylor slowly . 

Taylor melts against her, smiling against Karlie’s lips and lets Karlie push her onto her back and move over her, settling comfortably with a leg on either side. 

“Thank you,�� Karlie says, and when she tries to pull away to sit up, Taylor keeps her close, pushing back Karlie’s wild and loose hair, cupping her face softly, leaning in enough to capture Karlie’s lips in another heated kiss. 

Taylor shoves her away suddenly and Karlie frowns as she sits back against Taylor’s thighs but then Taylor turns her face away and covers her mouth as she yawns loudly. 

Karlie laughs immediately, deeply, hands falling to Taylor’s stomach as she watches the woman’s eyes fill with tears from the force of her yawn. 

“You know,” Karlie starts teasingly, even as her fingers stroke across Taylor’s stomach before slipping under the material of her shirt. “We could just sleep for another hour.”

Taylor just smiles up at Karlie and tugs her closer again, hands sliding up Karlie’s back and flirting with the edge of Karlie’s shirt. 

Karlie reaches out to tilt Taylor’s head up, her lips moving against Taylor’s jawline as she nips at the skin there, one of her favourite spots because she knows how weak in the knees it makes Taylor. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Taylor asks and before Karlie gets a chance to respond, Taylor flips them over so that she is nestled between Karlie’s thighs, making Karlie gasp. 

Karlie doesn’t relinquish control that easily though, and she forces the blonde to sit up as she tugs off her own shirt before sitting up herself and kissing Taylor deeply, one of her hands buried in blonde hair to keep Taylor close while she rakes her nails down Taylor’s back. 

A door closes down the hall and they both freeze, listening closely. The steps are heavy and slow, and they move away from Karlie’s bedroom towards the stairs but it’s still a sharp reminder that they’re not alone.

Taylor pulls back, disentangling herself from Karlie as she flops back down in bed. 

“No, baby, come on,” Karlie whines, as she throws a leg over Taylor’s waist but Taylor shakes her head, hands reaching out to still Karlie’s hips. 

“Your parents are awake and your sisters are here.”

“My dad's going downstairs and my sisters are asleep,” Karlie says, a hand dragging heavily down Taylor’s stomach and her index finger tugging at the waistband of Taylor’s shorts. 

She tries to lean down to kiss Taylor but the woman turns her head and Karlie’s lips end up on Taylor’s cheek, eliciting a soft whine from Karlie. “I can’t believe you’re saying no to me on my birthday.” 

“Trust me, a part of me can’t either,” Taylor says with a soft smile as Karlie narrows her eyes at the blonde, even as she begrudgingly shifts away from Taylor so she’s no longer sprawled on top of her.

“But it’s too risky.” 

Karlie grumbles but she still buries her face in Taylor’s neck and wraps an arm around Taylor’s waist, cuddling up to her. 

Taylor smiles when she feels Karlie settle against her, eyes sliding closed as she wraps her arm around Karlie and tangles their legs together.

“You’re not gonna put your shirt back on?” Taylor whispers teasingly, even as her fingers softly trace along Karlie’s spine. 

“You’re really not going to have sex with me today of all days?” Karlie asks, pulling away enough to prop her head up with her hand to look at Taylor. “I feel like I’m in bed with a stranger.” 

Karlie’s expression is serious but her eyes are twinkling and upon closer inspection, Taylor can see a smile threatening to break out over the blonde’s face. 

Karlie’s hair is falling over her hand and she’s biting her lip and Taylor is completely taken by the sight.

“I know what you’re doing,” Taylor says, gaze lazily drifting down Karlie’s chest. “And I’m not falling for it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Karlie says but then her fingers are dancing across Taylor’s stomach, taking the bottom of her button down shirt with her fingers all the way up to brush against the swell of a breast. 

“Here’s the thing Karlie,” Taylor starts, shifting so she can also prop herself up on her arm and be eye level with Karlie. “We have trouble staying quiet.” 

Karlie quirks her mouth, too proud to admit that it’s true but not willing to fight it. 

“And that’s fine when we’re at home and have an entire floor of a building to ourselves…” Taylor continues. 

Her free hand reaches out and none too gently pushes Karlie back into the mattress, sending the woman sprawling backwards with a surprised yelp. 

Karlie reaches out with her hand to grab for purchase, fingers curling in the pillow under her head as Taylor looms over her and she can’t help but smirk, taut with anticipation. “Not so much when we’re surrounded by your family.” 

Despite Taylor’s words, Karlie can’t help but let her touch wander, and Taylor’s thigh between her legs is heavy and insistent so Karlie digs her nails into the soft skin of Taylor’s lower back to keep the woman close as she shifts her hips needily against Taylor’s thigh. 

Taylor laughs softly, leaning down to kiss Karlie quickly. When she pulls away Karlie whines, but she smoothly pulls her shirt up over her head and tosses it to the floor. 

“I’m getting very mixed signals from you right now,” Karlie mutters, licking her lips as her gaze drops to Taylor’s breasts. 

“In the time you’ve been whining, I figured out a plan of action,” Taylor says and Karlie opens her mouth to protest the whining part of that statement but Taylor leans in and swallows the words with a heated kiss full of promise. 

Karlie moans at the feeling of skin sliding against hers. 

“What are you saying?” Karlie asks breathlessly when they part for air and Taylor starts trailing kisses down her neck, teeth occasionally scraping against skin. 

“Taylor…” 

Taylor ignores her pleading in favour of kissing down Karlie’s chest and down between her breasts. 

“Tell me, you tease,” Karlie whines and Taylor stops, rests her chin on Karlie’s stomach as she looks up and their gazes lock. 

Karlie’s glaring at her but Taylor just grins, hooks her fingers into Karlie’s underwear and drags the fabric slowly down her legs. 

“Get in the shower, Karlie.” 

Karlie sparks into action then, sitting up and nudging Taylor’s shoulder to push her back as she kisses Taylor deeply, hand fisting in blonde hair to keep Taylor close as her other hand smooths down Taylor’s side, thumbs hooking in her shorts and tugging them down. 

“You're a genius baby, let’s go.”

[benhardyisdaddy]

Snowed In - Part 2

MASTERLIST 

(SKSKS HELLO TO PT2 omg ok 1st off this gif is what i imagine his face to look like kinda when he gets jealous so MMM okay and secondly, im trying to come up with more ideas for this fic!! if u have anything u want added to it plz just lemme know ok ily BYEEEE)

Word Count: 1,900

“Hello, Ben.”

He picks up his suitcase, half smiles at you and looks to Joe.

“What? I don’t get a greeting like he did?” he asks, smirking.

You roll your eyes and turn to walk inside. Joe rolls in his suitcase and pushes it next your couch. Ben places his next to your kitchen island and wipes his hands on his jeans. The two boys look around in your home and Joe nods his head in appreciation.

“I really love this!” he says, looking at you and grinning. “So Eric cosigned?” he asked.

“Who’s Eric? You’re new man?” asks Ben, raising his eyebrows at you flirty. You make a disgusted face and hear as Joe holds back a laugh.

“My father.”

Ben purses his lips and stands up. His cheeks flash red and he clears his throat, not able to make eye contact with you.

“Oh…” is all he can say.

There’s an awkward moment of silence before you look around confused. You look over to Joe and furrow your brows.

“Hey, where’s everyone else?” you ask.

“Oh, they were running by the store real fast. Rami didn’t want you to feel like you had to feed us all.”

You laugh and walk to sit on your couch, followed by Joe plopping down next to you. Ben stands behind the kitchen counter, his eyes glued to you. You can feel his gaze burning into you, but you don’t dare look.

“I know Gwil is super excited to see you.” says Joe, teasingly. You hit his arm and act shocked.

“Joe! Don’t even start that.” you say laughing. You look up and Ben’s face has changed into an angry, tight lip look. You look away and suddenly stand up.

“Anyone want coffee?” you ask, walking towards Ben.

Joe calls out a yes as you open the cupboard and attempt to reach the top shelf for your mugs. The mugs you usually use are still in the dishwasher, so these were just the back up ones that you never use. You stand on your tippy toes and reach high up, your sweater slightly pulling up revealing a tiny portion of your hip. Ben stares at you closely and swallows hard at the slight exposure of you. You feel someone’s hand grab your hip, pausing your reaching. Ben’s long arm reaches out and grabs three mug handles and places them down in front of you, with his hand still on your hip. Your heart flutters at the contact and your breathing gets hitched in your throat.

“Thank you.” you say, your voice coming out hoarse. You clear your throat.

Ben smirks and nods his head, stepping away from you.

“I just feel bad when short people can’t reach normal height things.”

You spin around and glare at him. You half laugh and put your hands on your hips.

“Short people? Ben, I’m only four inches shorter than you!”

He shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

“And yet I can reach the top cupboard.”

You fight back a smirk and shake your head. You turn back around and feel your face burn as you smile to yourself. You grab the mugs and begin pouring the warm liquid into each one when all of a sudden there’s a knock at the door. You turn your head to look at Joe and watch him skip across the room to it. He opens it and in walks Rami.

“It’s gotten even worse outside!” he says, shivering.

Lucy follows behind him and is holding her coat close to her body. She looks around and spots you. She smiles widely and rushes to you.

“Oh, y/n! It’s been so long!” she says as she wraps her arms around you.

“Too long!”

She steps back as Gwil walks up behind her. He towers over her and lifts his arm revealing a glass bottle with a dark liquid inside.

“I brought whisky!” he says cheerfully to you.

You grin widely and rush to hug him. Besides Joe, you were the closest to Gwil. The two of you could talk and joke about anything. That also involved fake flirting. Little comments here and there to make each others faces turn bright red.

“Look at you, good looking!” you say, cupping his face. “And you remembered my favorite drink.”

You playfully pinch his cheeks and he scrunches up his nose. He places the bottle down on the counter and smiles.

“Like I’d ever forget a pretty girl’s favorite drink.” he says, winking.

You dramatically put your hand over your heart and swoon. Ben stands back and lowers his head as he watches the two of you be handsy with one another.

“He might’ve brought the booze, but I got us snacks!” says Rami, flipping over the paper bags and emptying contents of chips, crackers and… condoms? He quickly snatches those up and slips them in his pocket. His face is bright red as he looks between you and Lucy, whose face is also flushed.

“Wow, Rami.” you say teasingly. “I guess you really did come prepared.”

Everyone around you snickers as he walks up and hugs you.

“Still as funny since the last time I’ve seen you.”

You squeeze his cheek and turn to grab the mugs of coffee. You walk to Ben and hand one out to him. His arms are crossed as he puts up a hand and shakes his head. Your face falls.

“I thought you wanted a cup!”

He looks at you almost ticked off.

“I changed my mind.”

You grip the coffee and exhale as you turn around and face Gwil.

“Here,” you say handing him the mug. “Coffee?”

He reaches for it and his face lights up.

“Oh, thank you babe! Coffee sounds amazing.” he says as he bends down to kiss your cheek. You smile back and turn to Ben. He’s glaring at Gwil and you can notice his jaw tensing. You turn back around and walk to Joe. He’s pushing everyone’s luggage inside and shuts the door. He stands up and catches his breath.

“So,” he says. “Sleeping arrangements.”

Your eyes open wide and you nod.

“Oh, right! I almost forgot.” You walk into the living room and face everyone.

“Alright, so this is what I was thinking,” you start. “Lucy and Rami, you two can have my bedroom.”

They look at each other and shake their heads fast.

“No, y/n. We can’t take your room.” says Rami.

You hold your hand up.

“No arguing. The bed is big and it’ll suit you better. Just don’t get it… dirty.”

Everyone holds back a snicker as their faces turn red again.

“As for the rest of you, there’s a spare bedroom with a single in it. And I have an attic that’s got a spare mattress in. Don’t worry, there’s heat.”

The three boys all look at each other and shrug.

“I’ll take the attic.” Joe says. You nod.

“Where will you be sleeping?” asks Gwil, genuinely worried.

“Oh, I’m just gonna take the couch. I have a blow up bed in the upstairs closet, so if someone wants to set that up here in the living room and sleep-”

“I will.” says Ben, fast. He looks to you as he stands up straight. Everyone looks at him, noticing his too quick of an answer.

“O-okay.” you say. “Okay, so Gwil, you get the spare bedroom.”

Gwil watches Ben for a moment and squints his eyes. He looks back to you and nods.

“Alright then, that’s settled! I know you all must be exhausted.” you say.

Lucy nods fast and slings her purse around her shoulder.

“I could kill for a shower right now.” she says.

“Yes! There’s a bathroom in my bedroom and the second one is this door right here.” you say, pointing to a door behind you. She smiles and walks up to you to hugs you once more before rushing upstairs. Rami follows behind her as Gwil carries some luggage to his room. Joe sips on his coffee for a moment before walking to you.

“Seriously, thank you so much for this.” he says, hugging you and kissing the top of your head. He grabs his suitcase and walks up stairs in search of the attic door. You look around and you’re left with Ben. He’s leaning against the counter as you stare at your feet. You look up and your eyes lock.

“Um, so,” you go to say.

“Where’s the blow up bed?” he asks.

You close your eyes and shake your head.

“Oh, right! It’s in my closet upstairs. I can go get it-”

“No,” he says standing up straight. “I think I know what a closet looks like.” He turns and walks away from you.

It’s like some kind of switch in him flips. He goes from being genuinely funny, to teasing with you, to just being plain cold. You didn’t understand him at all. He was nice to literally everyone else, but you. You take in a deep breath and turn to walk to the hallway closet. You pull out some blankets and begin making a little bed on the couch. You look up as Ben walks down the stairs, tugging on huge box with him. He sits it down and slides the folded up mattress out. He unfolds it and pulls out the appliances. You watch as he tries hooking everything up and failing. He looks irritated when he finally drops everything and raises his hands.

“This thing is absolutely idiotic!” he yells. You roll your eyes and walk up to him and sink to your knees.

“Here,” you say, putting everything together in a second. He watches you shocked.

“You make it look so easy.” he says, looking at you. You look back and smirk.

“Good thing us short people use our brains.” you say and wink at him. He looks back shocked and slowly laughs.

“Oh, wow.” he says. 

You stand up and smile. See? The flip has switched again! You help Ben place sheets and a blanket on the bed. He gently lies down on it and puts his hands behind his head and exhales. You walk to the kitchen and turn the lights off. You sneak to the couch and slip under your covers. You lie in silence for a long while before Ben speaks up.

“Y/n?” he whispers. You turn your head slightly to hear him.

“Ben?”

He clears his throat.

“Whatever happened to Conner?” he asks quietly.

Your heart almost stops when he speaks his name. You close your eyes and take in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me. It’s none of my busine-”

“I caught him with my best friend.” you whisper back.

Another silence.

“I’m so sorry.” he says, sadly.

You shrug and turn to stare at the ceiling. Ben turned to stare at you.

“It is what it is.” you say, feeling tears sting your eyes.

“Well, he obviously doesn’t know he has something good, even if it were to slap him in the face.”

You’re shocked by his sweet words and you turn your head quickly to look at him. The glow of the fire illuminates his skin as his eyes lock with yours. You quickly smile and swallow hard.

“Goodnight, Ben.” you whisper, turning your back to him. He watches you for a moment, before turning his to yours.

“Goodnight, y/n.”

Tag List: @seven-seas-of-hi @ramimalekrp-roleplayerpage @mautand @beanut-putter @basics-andthesimplelife @bennnhardyyy @roger-taylors-drumsticks @shadycupcakefox @financialinstability @dashlilymark @starsoflovingness-wq @queen-darlin @that-fandom-sucks-tho

[pendulum-sonata]

Chapters: 3/7 Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dennis Mackfield/Kurosaki Ruri, Akaba Reiji/Rin Characters: Dennis Mackfield, Kurosaki Ruri, Tenjou Kaito, Tenjouin Asuka | Alexis Rhodes, Sora Shiunin, Akaba Reiji, Rin (Yu-Gi-Oh) Additional Tags: Rare Pair Week 2019, One Shot, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut, Pregnancy Scares, Birth Control, Caught in the Act, Well almost, poor Sora, Rough Kissing, Bad Parenting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage Summary:

A term for the awareness of transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life.

Day 3: Rogue (Mechanicalshipping)

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“You left this at my car last time.” Reiji said after a quick greeting, handing her a bunch of manga and comics she had taken up to read whenever Divine wasn’t around.

“Thank you,” She said, and she meant it, because this wasn’t something he could simply deliver through Nakajima or any assistant whose message or package would definitely pass via her ‘father’. God forbid he caught her reading them and chastise her yet another unsightly hobby for a young heiress, or sometimes if he felt like dealing a low blow, he would question her commitment to college if she had time to waste like that.

“I’ll be taking my leave.” He said but before he fully turned around Rin reached for his shoulder, except he was too tall so instead she ended up grabbing his scarf.

“Uh… I meant, wait.” She swallowed before she spoke again. “Why don’t you stay? I’ll invite you something to drink or we can spare time, playing videogames or something.” Divine had blocked the networks to avoid her from using them, but she had since hacked the sorry security he hired and did whatever she want when he wasn’t around.

Reiji turned around regarding her with those same scrutinizing eyes of usual, it used to unnerve her, but she had since learned that this was simply his default face most of the time.

“Oh?” He said and his smile caught her off guard for a second. “Have the etiquette classes finally started to rub on you?”

Ugh, those dammed classes, of course he knew she took them because one time Himika sent him to pick her up from one of them, and had witnessed the disaster of her throwing a tea into the face of the instructor after she made some snide comments about her hair.

“Oh, if the mighty Reiji Akaba does not want my consideration, then he’s welcome to walk away and drive all the way to his office during rush hours.” She said with a smirk of her own, which widened when he looked to the side, pulling his scarf to muffle a laugh.

“If you insist.” He conceded and stepped in he- the apartment – never hers – with the same grace and elegance as every Akaba seemed to possess.

She pointed to the black couch in the middle of the living room, in front of the large screen… and nothing else, the place was very spare and ‘minimalistic’ as Divine liked to put it, even the walls had nothing hanging from them except for a mirror, and a random painting that was supposedly postmodernist.

Rin was quick to hide the books under her mattress and pull the console from a shoebox next to her bed.

“Well, what do you feel like doing? Killing zombies with military armament or see if you can beat me in a race with princesses, plumbers and a long etcetera?” His single raised eyebrow told her that she could choose whatever she wanted.

Zombies it was then, she really needed to release some steam.

.

.

.

“NO FAIR!!!” She yelled at the screen again, after his team had decimated hers, again, for the fifth time actually. “How did you even got that improved gear?!”

He didn’t answer of course, because he had already said once some nonsense about her having to find out herself, if not, then it truly be unfair.

“It must be those ape-like hands of yours,” Rin blurted out, slapping her hands on his shoulder. “It’s easy to reach everything with them.”

“Are you implying my hands are somehow helping me cheat?” He said, half-serious and half-incredulous.

“Bleh, for a goodie-two-shoes you’re really fond of flamethrowers.” She said sticking out her tongue out to him.

And then she couldn’t put it back.

Because he was using two of his fingers to keep it in place.

“Who would have said? It really is easy to reach anything with my hands.” Reiji had the gall to adjust his glasses as if he made some important breakthrough.

She wanted to yell at him, but couldn’t, so she did the next best thing: she pounced him.

Of course that had him rolling onto his back and then just to spite him she crawled towards him just so he wouldn’t get up, not because he couldn’t, but because gentleman that he was, he wouldn’t dare to throw her aside.

“I can’t believe you did that!” She said, half-yelling and half-laughing, “Gross, now I won’t be able to scrub the taste of your fingers off my mouth.”

Rin waited for an answer to her jab, maybe something about how he was the one who had to worry because of bacteria or something equally bookish; but he said nothing, actually he had gone very quiet.

When she looked down, his face was turned, staring hard at the wall, even his eyes were as removed from her as they probably could.

“Rin, please move.” He said in a very low tone, but the strain underneath was palpable.

She recognized that expression, and at the realization she lowered herself until her body was almost lying on him, and her face was mere inches from his.

“Really?” She asked, dropping her voice a bit. “Why?”

“You know why.” He said this time Reiji was looking straight at her, but never lower than her face.

“Maybe I want you to say it.” Rin said this lacing her voice with a playful tone, and her hands, slowly, very slowly went from his shoulders, to his chest, then to his abdomen where she was playing with the hem of his sweater.

“Rin,” He said, the strain in his voice was even more noticeable now, and he made a halfhearted attempt to prop himself up, she simply moved her hips to fully rest on top of him, his eyes closed and his hand motioned as if he was about to move her.

Or he would have if Rin didn’t close the distance between them.

They had not kissed or done anything remotely of the like since that gala, and she could tell he did not expect any of this to happen again, or at least any time soon, and he was responding slowly, almost in a shy way, his lips sliding carefully against hers and sighing when she laid her whole weight on him. His hands were leaving feathery touches on her, first on her arms and shoulders, then to rub small circles on her nape.

It was an almost reverent touch; one she was not used to at all, but it still had her trembling with anticipation.

His of his hands started to trace a path from her ear to her neck, then just above the hem of her top where the swell of her breast begun and how she wished for those brief seconds that he touched her.

Rin could do nothing but whine against his mouth when his hands barely grazed the contours and went to her back instead.

And he stopped kissing her, when she opened her eyes to ask what was wrong, his gaze was locked in hers, Rin felt mesmerized by the pure longing that she saw and she could tell the exact moment when his mood shifted because his hold tightened against her body, and when she gasped at the feeling, he restarted the kiss.

This time she can feel his hands digging his fingers almost painfully in her hips and her back, keeping her in place while their lips slide and entwine together, over tongues and even teeth; but it’s not the fast desperations that she sometimes experienced with others before, no, he still takes his time.

As if he was savoring the experience.

It was impossible that she too, would not be swept into the feeling too.

So much that she only distantly registered the door opening and the few steps given into the apartment.

In what it felt like a flash, she felt herself begin shoved back, almost a bit too harsh from him, but not hard enough to tumble her or anything, in fact Reiji’s hands held onto her shoulder to keep her steady.

But that was not as surprising as seeing the color draining from his face, his eyes wide with shock and maybe even the slightest bit of fear.

Even before she turned around, Rin already knew who had entered.

The whistle full of mockery and appreciation all at the same time only made it worse, and she was faced with Divine’s face looking on the side, but not in embarrassment, but more as If he was holding back his laughter.

“My bad,” He said, his voice filled with amusement. “I only came to check on you Rin-chan.” She hated that he called her that all the time, even when he nagged her, as if she was a child or a funny pet.

“Sir, we didn-” Both of them were now scrambling to get up and look somewhat less of a mess than they had been before, and failed obviously.

“Hey, no worries, I’m leaving already, I can see she is in very good hands.” Oh, that was definitely a low blow that had her fuming inside. “You kids don’t stop on my account.”

That was the only thing he said as he grabbed a suitcase in a nearby table and left without another word.

Rin could do nothing except let herself collapse on the couch and attempting to sink her face into a cushion and maybe die of embarrassment.

If she knew it would be this mortifying she wouldn’t have…

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Reiji said, and he was sitting on the opposite side of her now, he was glaring at her, no, not his usual analyzing look, but she could actually tell his eyes held some anger, his arms and legs crossed, as if waiting for an explanation.

Sadly, she had none.

“There is no way you could have known he was coming,” He started again, this time he was looking at the wall, closing himself entirely from her. “You’re always complaining about his constant check-ins, and then mock him because he doesn’t bother to rotate times so you can always look your best when he arrives.”

“I… I had to,” At this his glare was back on her, and she felt herself flinch, she had anticipated that he would realize – he was a genius after all – she had definitely anticipate his anger, but she hadn’t anticipated how awful it would feel to be in the receiving end of it. “he managed to get ahold of my old phone and saw me exchanging texts with an old friend – I swear he was just a friend - from… before, and he got angry, thinking I was ‘giving away myself’ for some penniless nobody, he called me ungrateful kid, and threatened me with pulling me out from college so I could focus on my goals.”

Divine saw her as barely a notch above a pretty bargaining chip, and if she wanted to survive him, then she needed to convince him how ‘serious’ she was about snatching a ‘good catch’ and in Divine had been incredibly more lenient when she caught Reiji’s interest.

Was It so bad that she used it to her advantage? Just once?

Rin only needed to look at him, his anger trying to hide the shame he felt and even the slightest bit of betrayal, to realize that, yes, it really had been that bad.

She wanted to tell him, that she had planned to tell him everything beforehand, at some point before they got caught into the stupid game.

She wanted to tell him that despite everything she had not pretended her attraction to him, not in the slightest.

But even in her head, it all sounded like excuses.

“For what is worth, I do like you,” She said, not looking at him, fearing his response. “…a lot actually.” She felt herself smiling recalling their first date when she had told him the exact opposite. “But if you feel you cannot trust me anymore, then it’s fine if you want to call everything off.”

She heard him give a long sigh and she prepared herself for the blow.

“I should apologize too,” Reiji said, and she felt him shift in the couch, he was now sitting in a contemplative position, his hands crossed in front of him. “I often forget your real position with him, and take things for granted about you.”

Rin wasn’t sure what she was feeling right not, she only knew that it was spreading from her chest to her entire body and it was making her feel light as a cloud.

“You still should have told me; I would have helped you.” When she turned to look at him, he coughed in his hand. “…obviously I would have chosen a less… exhibitionist method, but still, you played with the cards you thought you had available.”

Rin was still speechless, so she only found herself nodding.

“Maybe one of these day I will think of a method in which you can make it up to me though.” He said in a completely serious voice, but the way he smiled at her, almost in a mock-nagging way made her laugh.

She still felt light-headed for the entire day.

[annamead--xo]

Christmas Time - Part II || Hanna

Who: Harry and Anna Where: Harry's childhood home What: It's Christmas and Mrs. Fields (for the first time) has set up Harry’s old bedroom for them to sleep in the same bed.  Despite the awkward tension, they both end up figuring it out in their own Hanna way…

Harry: [Harry walked up with Anna's suitcase to their old bed room]

 Mrs Fields: All right you two, goodnight [she gave them both a kiss on their cheek]

 Harry: Goodnight mom. [He opened the door, but looked at Anna when he was only his bed was made and there was no mattress on the ground]

 Anna: Night Mrs. Fields. [she looked into the bedroom and when she saw only one bed was made, she bit her lip] Um, maybe the spare room is made up for me instead.

 Mrs Fields: Oh nonsense, you two are old enough now. Besides, don't forget we sleep nextdoors [she laughed] Extra blankets are in the closet if you get cold. Goodnight [she said before she walked away]

 Harry: ... Night mom.

 Anna: ...night. [she walked into his bedroom awkwardly now and looked around] I could take the extra blankets and go to the spare bedroom. [she whispered so only he could hear]

 Harry: [he walked in the bedroom behind her] No, no.. then how are we gonna explain the bed there is used? I'll put some blankets on the ground and sleep here, we'll place them back on the bed in the morning. You can take the bed.

 Anna: Are you sure? There’s no mattress on the floor though. The floor isn’t that comfortable with just some blankets.

 Harry: It's okay. I sleep everywhere, remember? Sorry, I didn't know she was suddenly gonna realize we're not 15 year old anymore.

 Anna: Right, how could I forget. It’s okay. I thought she would have automatically set up both rooms for us. Guess this is why we get for pretending we are together.

 Harry: [He walked up to the closet and grabbed some blankets, and placed them on the ground] Me too, she never let us sleep in the same bed, even though you sneaked into bed with me sometimes. .. do you think she did it on purpose? Maybe she knows we're pretending.

 Anna: [as Harry set his blankets, she pulled her pjs out of her suitcase] No, no. She couldn’t possibly know that we are pretending. We were laying on the couch together downstairs, watching that Christmas movie. She couldn’t possibly be doing this on purpose.. right??

 Harry: I don't know.. she doesn't like lying. But then she probably wouldn't have walked away so soon.. Maybe I'm just going crazy with conspiracy theories - living in Southvale did that to me. [When he had his blankets all arranged he picked up the second pilow from the bed] And my mom is never so subtle. She'd probably be like "okay now go tell me what's really going on". What Christmas movie were we even watching? I forgot to pay attention.

 Anna: Well stop it. Now you have me second guessing myself on if she thinks we are lying or not. But we have to be doing something right so you’re right, she wouldn’t have left so quickly. We were watching It’s a Wonderful Life. Did you fall asleep?

 Harry: Sorry, I couldn't help it. But I think so too, she wouldn't let us get away with a day of lying. Maybe she thought she was actually doing us a favour by letting us sleep together for the holidays. [He started unbuttoning his shirt] I just closed my eyes for a few minutes.

 Anna: Maybe. This would have been great if things had worked out back in Southvale. [she couldn’t help but let her eyes gaze on him while he unbuttoned his shirt] Just a few minutes? Your dad seemed to love it.

 Harry: Yeah.. I think we would've been giggling excited then. [He threw his shirt on the chair at the desk, very well noticing Anna was watching him] I can't believe my parents never made my bedroom into something else, dad could've had a mancave here but it's still all my furniture. Okay, okay, approximately 120 minutes. He did? That's really good. It's the same thing when Kurt turned off his football, it seems like he really still pays attention to what he watches. Maybe Kurt is right and we should get out some old photos.

 Anna: I don’t think your mom has the heart to change anything in here. They love you so much and you can tell how much they love having you home. [she chuckled] Typical. You really can sleep everywhere. [she nodded] Yeah, he didn’t react or anything but he seemed happy. Maybe we can do that tomorrow after breakfast. [she looked down at her pjs and back up at him] Um, could you turn around for a minute?

 Harry: This will probably be the same till the day they ever sell the house - which they probably won't do either as long as they can live here. Even though when I was younger I would've loved to have some siblings, I got really lucky with my family. [He laughed] I told you so. And he did, it's one of his favorite movies. That would be good. [He couldn't help laughing] Anna, I'm a doctor. Is it really that awkward? [He turned around nevertheless and took off his jeans himself]

 Anna: I can’t see them ever selling this place. It’s their home. Siblings aren’t as great as you think they are. You have the perfect family. [she smiled] Yes... considering our history.. you’re not just a doctor to me. [her eyes lingered on him for another minute before she finally changed into her pyjamas] Okay, you’re okay to look again.

 Harry: Me neither. They've lived here their whole lives; I don't think I'll be able to stay in a place that long. Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You're still part of our family, you know that right? Even if.. even if we're not together. [He laughed when he turned around] Okay, okay, I won't peek. [He turned around when she had changed into her pjs and grabbed an old college T-shirt from his bag to sleep in] Oh... [He said when he noticed the off the shoulder shirt she was wearing] You- uh.. [he licked his lips, looking at that bare shoulder] Aren't you cold?

 Anna: If you find the right place and the right person, maybe you could. No, no. I shouldn’t have.. I know. I think no matter if we are together or we aren’t, your mom will always welcome me here with open arms. [when he turned back towards her, she saw his shirt] Hey, isn’t that the same shirt from.. that night? [she shook her head, noticing his troubles with speaking all of a sudden] No, I think I’ll be okay once I get into bed. [she pulled back the covers on the bed]

 Harry: Where do you think you'd want to stay forever? New York? Or here? No, no, it's my fault, I know your relationship with your brother is... bad, and here I am complaining about not having one. You know, you're right about that. Maybe if we had told her she would've been okay [he admitted] The shirt you put on? .. Yes, it is. [He stood there staring until she got in bed and realized he had to do something. He walked up to his blankets and crawled under then] O-okay. So, uhm, goodnight?

 Anna: I never really thought about it. I would say New York but I do miss it here too. No, you should want to have a sibling. You would have had the best brother or sister, I’m sure of it. Too late now, we’re stuck in this lie now. [she nodded] I thought it looked familiar. [she climbed into bed and turned to her side to face him] Night Harry. [she reached up and turned the light off]

 Harry: Maybe because we both grew up here. New York was always your dream though. Luckily I turned out pretty good on my own - with a sibling I always would've been the nerdy brother anyway. At least things are a bit okay now, right? [He said, hoping she wasn't being nice to him now just for his mom] I mostly use the old clothes to sleep in, I'm still surprised you picked it. [He laid down and moved around a few times, not being able to find a comfortable posture] Goodnight Anna.

 3 days later – Christmas Eve Night

 Anna: [she couldn’t sleep with her mind running over their evening] Harry, are you sleeping? [she whispered]

 Harry: [Harry moved onto his side when he suddenly heard Anna speak. He couldn't sleep at all. Most of his hours of sleep were him falling asleep on the couch during a movie, but the ground was just too hard for him to fall asleep] I'm awake. Are you okay? [he whispered]

 Anna: [she turned the lamp on beside them] Yeah.. just can’t sleep. [she paused] Are we okay?

 Harry: Me neither. [He took a deep breath] I'd like to think we are. But I don't know.. if you're still mad at me?

 Anna: Why can’t you sleep? [she sighed] Im not mad. You know where I stand now. I do.. miss you.

 Harry: [He moved around on his sheets a little] Just missing the matress that always used to be on the ground when you got to sleep here. I do. I just don't know what to do to ever make me forgive you. .. I miss you too. A lot.

 Anna: [she moved closer to one side of the bed] Come sleep up here. There’s more than enough room for both of us. [she sat up, pushing the covers back] Just be honest with me. I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly out of the loop. You know, it’s hard to pretend around your parents when everything feels so real.

 Harry: No, no, it's okay. I don't want to invade your personal space if it's too intimate. .. Are you sure? I'm just - the first time I was honest changed so much between us. I don't want to push you away again. ... The kiss was real to me. I didn't pretend.

 Anna: Harry, it’s fine. You’re not getting any sleep down there considering how many naps you’ve taken lately. We can make a wall out of the blankets and pillows. Please? [she nodded] I know things are different now. But even you have to admit that isn’t something you expect to see when a person is being honest with you. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. [she was hoping whatever it was wasn’t as bad as the first time] It felt real to me too. I- I didn’t want it to stop.

 Harry: I won't deny that - I think I've found the first place where I can't sleep. Okay, okay. [He got up from the ground slowly, his back feeling sore. He dragged his blankets with them and climbed in the bed, folding it in a long line between them] Thank you [he whispered and he let out a deep sigh when his head rested on the pillow] I don't want you to be afraid of me forever. That's true, because the first time it happened to me.. I completely freaked out too. Okay.. [he put an extra pillow up their wall, hoping she'd feel more protected from what he was about to tell her] You must promise not to tell anyone. .. Me neither. It was good Kurt was there or I would've been very inappropriate.

 Anna: [she helps him with the blankets, making sure there is a definite line between them] Of course. Hopefully you'll be more awake tomorrow for Christmas. [she laid down beside him, facing him still] Just.. don't do that hand thing again and we'll be okay. See? So you can't fault me for doing the same. [she got a little worried when he kept piling things up between them, so much as she had to sit back up to see him] Who am I going to tell? Oh.. like piano inappropriate or...?

 Harry: Oh, this is much better. [He said when he laid down] I'll try not to fall asleep this time we watch a movie. [He held up his hands] No hand thing. Just normal hands here. I can't promise they don't want to touch that shoulder of yours. I'm not faulting you, I just wish you had let me calm you down. Does piano inappropriate also go for placing you on top of the kitchen counter inappropriate? [He sighed and stopped piling up things] I'm an FBI agent. [He whispered after a long pause]

 Anna: You better not fall asleep. Tomorrow is my favourite Christmas movie. How does your hands go from this to.. that? [she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair] I was scared too. That you might hurt me. I didn't know so it was easier to run away from you than to stay. [she blushed at Harry's comment] You always did like these shirts. And yes, that also goes with that. I can't say your parents would appreciate that as much as I would have though. [she admitted] Y-You.. what? I thought you were a doctor.

 Harry: Which movie will we see tomorrow then? I'm still not sure.. it has something to do with emotions. When I get mad, or upset, it happens by accident sometimes. It takes me to calm down to let it stop. I would never hurt you. I would've rather even hurt myself to protect you. [He grinned] I still do, they drive me crazy, it's good that you're under that blanket right now. I don't think they would've appreciated it, and Kurt might've never come back for Christmas again. [He got up a little to look at her over their pillow forth] I were. I am, I mean. I still am a doctor. But.. all the injuries.. they come from training me to become a FBI agent. [He held in his breath, ready for her to get mad, upset or just jump right out of bed]

 Anna: Santa Clause, of course. Is that what happened in the kitchen tonight? When I thought you might have burnt yourself. Because we were arguing. I know.. let's hope it doesn't ever come to that though. [she pull up the sleeve of her shirt only have to have it fall back down as soon as she let it go] I could grab my sweater for tonight. If it makes you uncomfortable. No, I think that would have scarred Kurt for life. I don't think he would ever want to be around us again. [she was surprised to hear what he was saying but this time, she wasn't freaking out like last time] I knew there was more. [she whispered] I don't understand. How can you still be a doctor but also work for the.. FBI? I thought that only existed in movies.

 Harry: I could've known that! Yeah.. I was trying to hide it from you, I didn't want you to run away again. It won't come to that, if we try not to argue that much. [He laughed] No, no, it's okay, I'll keep my hands to myself. As much as Kurt enjoys pretending he knows all the details about our rendez-vous, I think him actually knowing would've weirded him out a lot. [He placed one pillow down a bit so he could see her] It's not a movie. I.. I made some mistakes. Big ones. This is how I pay my debt but - but I can't tell you more. I'm not supposed to "blow the cover". I'm also afraid they could be listening? Or maybe that is only in the movies, but I have to be careful. Or else it doesn't end well. And I don't want to drag you into any of this either. ... You probably want me to get out of the bed again now.

 Anna: I want to try and watch all three of them tomorrow. Think we can do it? I wish I knew how to help you if it happens again. I don't know if I'll ever get used to seeing your hands turn that way but I don't want to run away. [she smiled] Probably, especially if I did tell him all about what happened on the piano. [she laughed] He doesn't actually know anything still. [she reminded him] What did you do? Pay off your debt? To who? Harry, we're a million miles away from Southvale. I won't tell anyone, please. [her hand moved under their blanket line to find his] No.. stay.

 Harry: Oh if you set your mind to it I know we are watching all three of them. You can just help calming me down. I'm still figuring out.. if there's a way back. I'm glad you don't want to run away this time. It hurt so bad last time when you did. [He laughed] Don't tell him that, it's our special thing - and he probably doesn't ever want to play the piano at my house again if he'd know. I.. I stole something. I know we're million miles away, but still. The FBI is.. is scary. When I got my accident, a tracking system in a watch I once got as a gift saved my life. I didn't know I was being tracked, or actually had been tracked for years like that. That's how sneaky they are. Who knows, maybe there's a hidden microphone in the tooth I got filled. So.. so I can't say it. Not now. .. Not till I find a way out of it. [He felt her fingers touch hers while she searched for him and grabbed her hand] Okay.

 Anna: Then guess what our day will be filled with? Santa Clause movies all night long and we aren't going to sleep until we see all three. [she smiled] How can I do that besides telling you to breathe? I'm sorry about last time. I didn't mean the things I said. [she laughed and put her hands up] I won't tell him anything you don't want me too! You cleaned it so well, I'm sure he wouldn't even notice. [she couldn't believe what she was hearing] They were tracking you for years? Isn't that against your own human rights or something? You could go after them for that. Did they fill it for you? Harry... [everything inside of her wanted to help Harry, get him free from what was holding him there] You want out? You've never said that before. [when he grabbed her hand, she pushed the pillows that was blocking him from her aside. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his.]

 Harry: I can't promise I won't sleep. Just by not freaking out? That already helps a lot. It's.. it's okay. Do you still want me around you? Even after the holidays? Good, because if he's not ashamed I will be if he knows. I did, all clean for a second time. [He teased] It was as long as.. [he couldn't tell her Violet had given him the watch to keep him safe once she moved in as his roommate] It was to protect me in this town, it did safe my life. No, no, a dentist did. I've never said it because you never knew. [He was surprised when he suddenly placed her lips on his] What was that for? [He asked when he let go]

 Anna: Harry, nooooo. You can't fall asleep on my favourite movies. Okay, I'll do my best to not freak out. I.. um.. let's just see how the rest of the week goes, okay? [she didn't want to get his hopes up when she wasn't 100% sure of herself] Would you do that a second time? I'm shocked considering you wanted to bring me up to your room. [she frowned when he paused] Well whoever did it, thank god it saved your life. But it's still not okay if they are still tracking you or listening to what you're saying. Oh, if you got it done by a dentist, then you have nothing to worry about. They can only put teeth in your mouth. [he pulled away too soon for her liking] To thank you for being honest with me.

 Harry: Watch me do it anyway [he laughed] I'll do my best not to get sparkly hands, okay? Oh.. uhm.. okay. [He was still disappointed, hoping they would've been okay now] If you wear that slip again I might, that was just.. wow [he grinned happily]. I don't know if they are, I've just gotten a little paranoid since I found out. The watch is gone though. True. But I still won't tell more, okay? I just - I just wanna look at you for a few more minutes without discussing weird things. Ohh.. that's a nice way of saying thank you.

 Anna: Then we'll have to watch them all over again the next day. [she teased] So long as we don't argue anymore, that shouldn't be a problem, right? I'm sorry.. [she frowned, hearing his disappointment] Does everything I wear drive you crazy? [she joked, specifically pulling her sleeve down on her shirt] I loved that night though. It was very special. [she smiled] It's probably better if you are. You've told me so much already. I wish you could tell me more. [she placed her head back down on her pillow] Do we need this pillow fort still to do that? A regular thank you wasn't going to be enough plus all this talk of the piano and now the kitchen... I wanted to give you something as a thank you instead.

 Harry: Okay, okay, I'll stay awake for it. Probably not, and don't make me cry either [he teased her] I just - I thought. Nevermind. I shouldn't push you to anything. I mean, if you knew on the first day I'd be in your bed you probably wouldn't even have come in. Or well, my bed. Just the clothes that miss one shoulder or are too sexy to not touch you. So probably keep that slip you wore that day in your suitcase. It was. It felt like years ago, but with this new maturity. I think I've told you too much already .. but I want to trust you. And for you to understand it so you don't have to fear me anymore. We can make an imaginary line instead of the pillow fort? I like what you gave me. [He yawned] This bed is so good.

 Anna: Yay! Good! [she clapped her hands in excitement] Not if you don’t make me cry first. [she teased back] No, don’t do that. Tell me. [she pushed, wanting to know his thoughts] How do you know I even brought that slip in the first place? Note to self, make sure to bring out the slip on the last night here. [she grinned] It felt the same but not. I don’t know. Who knew being with you like that again could feel so different. [she nodded] I know.. I want you to trust me too. Just be patient with me, okay? I might not react well to some of the stuff you tell me. But we just have to be honest with each other from now on, okay? That sounds good. [she removed a couple pillows between them, her hand moving right back into his afterwards] You should get some sleep.

 Harry: I promise the only thing making you cry is the Christmas movies. I just.. I can't stand the idea that once this week is over you don't want to see me anymore. [He laughed] It was a guess but now I know. Note to self, sleep before you try it on on the last night. Maybe it was also the time - it's been so many years since we.. you know. [He looked at her] I'll try to be patient. Since I've learned to deal with this life it's sometimes hard for me to realize that to you it is still crazy. Okay. Honesty. [He squeezed her hand and closed his eyes] Goodnight Anna.

 Anna: I hope I don’t cry during Santa Clause tomorrow! Although I always tear up at those happy endings. [she sighed] Maybe I was a little too harsh about that. It’s not that I don’t want to see you. I just don’t want to get caught up in the idea of us only for it to fall apart again. Let’s just see how the rest of the week goes and maybe we can just take things slow when we go home. [she smiled] You are sleeping on the floor that night so you don’t fall asleep. Maybe we just had a lot of pent-up feelings that made it that much more intense than before. [she let out a small laugh] Crazy is a good way to describe it. And I’ll try to communicate better on what I’m feeling. [she smiled, watching him intently] Goodnight Harry. Thank you. [she whispered the last part]

 Harry: You do, even if you've seen it five times already! .. What about friends? We could try that, being friends. As a start. Hey, I just got back in my bed, I'm not going back to the floor now. I think so, I had missed you so much. I thought so, insanely crazy. Now I wonder how that will work out for us - me being honest, you talking about your feelings, but we will do our best. Night [he mumbled as he already had his eyes closed, his breath slowing down] [The next morning Harry was still asleep. His hand was on the skin of Anna's one shoulder, his thumb resting a bit further under the fabric] Noo hhmm it's too early [he mumbled in his sleep].

 Anna: I can’t help it sometimes! Friends could work. [In the morning, she found herself asleep with her head on Harry’s chest. She opened her eyes when Harry spoke and finally realized why she was feeling so comfy] Harry.. wake up.. it’s Christmas. [she gently shook him but didn’t really move out of where they both currently were]

 Harry: Noo not today.. [He mumbled but he slowly started opening his eyes. He had no pain in his back this time and he felt rested. He realized why when he saw he was in his own bed and Anna was laying on his chest.] Hey honeybee [He mumbled, and still sleepy he moved his hand from her shoulder and stroked her hair]

 Anna: Yes, we get to open presents today. [she nudged him again] Come on, wake up sleepyhead. [she smiled at her nickname] Hi honey. [she rested her chin on his chest as she looked up at him] Guess we didn’t really listen to ourselves last night about taking it slow, huh?

 Harry: Ohh, then I am getting up [he said with a smile]. I'd love to stay like this for another hour though. [His hand stopped and he smiled when she looked at him] Well I am pretty sure you must have climbed on my chest as I don't remember any of it [he teased her, knowing he had been deep asleep and probably could've done anything without remembering]

 Anna: [she giggled] All it took was saying presents and now you’re wide awake? I hope Santa brought you something good. [she sighed happily] I’d love that too. If your parents aren’t awake yet, maybe we could sneak another few minutes? [she laughed] I don’t even remember how I got here last night. How do I know you didn’t just put me here, hm? [she grinned]

 Harry: I am never too sleepy to open up some presents. Santa already brought me you - sorry, that was too cheesy. I am afraid they might already have breakfast ready and everything. Me neither. You don't know, maybe I grabbed you and didn't let you go.

 Anna: Just wait until you open my gift later. [she blushed] Wow, that was not subtle at all but I kinda like that though. Can we just pretend that we are sleeping in and get breakfast later? We’ve been good actors so far. You know, that wouldn’t surprise me at all that you would do that. [she winked]

 Harry: Ohh you got me a gift? Even with how unhappy you were with me when you came here. I thought I'd be like one of those over the top Netflix Christmas movies. Well... don't hate me, but I am kinda hungry? We are, I think after this week I've acted enough for my life. You were trying to escape all night, but I wouldn't let you with this shirt [he laughed and pressed a kiss on her shoulder] Breakfast time?

 Anna: Of course I would get you a gift. I bought it before things got bad. My favourite kind of movies. I love those happy endings. [she laughed and shook her head] Why am I not surprised? Way to ruin the moment. Now you see, it’s not so easy being an actor. [her eyes closed for minute when he pressed his lip against her skin, her mind returning back to their night together until he reminded her of breakfast] Sure, you go first. [she smiled and sat up a little bit]

 Harry: I didn't buy you anything [he said, trying to look extra sad, but he couldn't help a laugh getting through because he did get her something] But really, why do they all marry a prince? They either date one for years and don't know, or they get run over by him and fall in love. I'm sorry, you know I love eating as much as sleeping. I never said it was easy! [He got up slowly so Anna could get off him] So uhm, you're not coming with me? Uhm, okay.

 Anna: [she was about to look a little sad when he said he didn’t get her anything but when she heard his laugh, she knew he was joking] That’s not very nice to lie to me like that! [she laughed] Maybe I’ll just take your present back then. Because everyone wants to end up with their Prince Charming. Literally every Disney and Christmas movie ends like that and it’s perfect. [she got off of him but still laid on her side of the bed] I just need a minute. I want to change so I don’t distract you all morning with my clothing. Unless you think you can keep it together.[she giggled]

 Harry: I'm just trying to see if you still want a present from me, I think you do [he laughed]. If you take yours back you won't see mine either. But why? Why is a prince so perfect, I'd think a police officer would be very sexy too, or a sweet librarian. Because the princes always come with a moody mom who wants the normal girl gone. [He grabbed his jeans from the chair and pulled it on, keeping on the shirt he slept in] Oh. Okay. I could, but maybe it's better to get out of that shirt. I'll see you downstairs?

 Anna: Of course I want a present! Well lucky for you, I can’t take it back so you’re stuck with it. [she shrugged] Because they have money and are always good looking and are usually misunderstood. All things that women like me go crazy for. I think doctors are quite attractive though. The moody mom is just a good villain in the movies. [she nodded] I’ll be down soon. [when he left, she took a minute before pulling herself out of bed. She brushed her hair and put a bit of makeup on, completely forgetting to change her shirt and made her way downstairs] Morning. [she smiled]

 Harry: Oh, I'll put on my happy face then even if I don't like it. Is money really a thing to marry a guy for? Also, prince William is going bald. Oh you do? I'd never expect you'd like a doctor. It's so unoriginal, why is the dad never mean? Or the normal girl next door parents try to stop the wedding? .. Bye [he said a bit awkwardly before leaving the room. He almost choked on his bite of toast when Anna came down still wearing the same shirt] Good morning.

 Anna: Noooo, then how am I going to know if you actual love it or not? Money helps and might be a dealbreaker to some. Everyone is going for Prince Harry now. William is too old. When is the dad really ever alive in those movies too? Every normal person would be cheering the girl on to marry into a royal family. [she walked over to the counter to grab a plate] You okay? [she asked as she started to put a couple things on her plate]

 Harry: Well my fake laugh isn't as good as the real one. I was poor and you still liked me - if you like me now it might be the money though. Too bad Harry is taken now. In some movies he is! He was alive on The Christmas Prince, for both movies even. Well maybe not if they.. don't like royals. [He nodded when he was finally good again] Yeah. Just ate too fast. .... Mom already made breakfast, like I said she would. [He smiled at his mom] Aren't you cold? [He asked Anna, implying she kept the shirt on]

 Anna: I'll keep that in mind for when you open your gift then. I really hope you like it though. Prince Harry or you Harry? [she joked with a wink] I can tell you, liking you has nothing to do with money. Oh, but was her mother alive? I don't think so! [Since his parents were in the room, she went over and rubbed his back looking at him concerned] Be careful there. The doctor can't save himself from choking. [she smiled] Oh.. yes you did say that. [she went over to kiss Mrs. Fields on the cheek] Thank you for breakfast and for going above and beyond again for me. You know I could always just make something for myself without you having to go through all the trouble, Mrs. Fields. [she looked down at herself and saw her shirt that she forgot to change] Oh... oops. Um, no. I-I'm fine. [she pulled up the sleeve of her shirt and held it to cover her shoulder]

 Harry: You're making me curious and a little frightened of what if could be. Prince Harry, I am unfortunately not married to Meghan Markle. Well that's good to hear. You got me, the mother wasn't alive - do prince and princess movies ever have two parents? We'd be unique to make a film like that. [Harry was surprised when she rubbed his back, but then again, she was a good actress and she probably wanted to act a bit more loving with his parents around] I'm good, I'm good. And you still gotta learn all of that. Knowing how to do a Heimlich maneuver can always come in handy - maybe you'll save the life of a prince someday.

 Mrs Fields: Oh nonsense dear! I always seem to make food for a whole family, so it's good we have the house filled for once and Harry won't have to eat the same thing for three days. And you deserve to sleep in a little after working so hard last night! If you really want to do something you can make some new tea?

 Harry: [He had already gotten up and got the kettle in his hand when he bumped into Anna who was about to grab the same thing] Oh, here, sorry. You can make the tea.

 Anna: Well the only way you’re going to find out is if we go and open presents. Well maybe you are going to get a better girl than Meghan. [she laughed] Our movie would be very unique if we had a royal family.. are you trying to tell me something here? [she joked] You’re never going to stop reminding of that until I actually go and do it, are you? [she smiled at Mrs Fields] Well I know Harry will help eat all the food in the house if I don’t. I am good with just my gluten free bread today. [she looked over at Harry] See? Even your mom knows we should have stayed in bed and slept longer. I can do that for you, of course. [she turned and bumped into Harry who was also grabbing the tea pot] Oh.. sorry.. no, no, you go. [but she still went to grab the pot from him]

 Harry: Can we skip breakfast and open presents? Hm, but Meghan is very cute, who would be just as cute as her? [He teased her] Unfortunately not, if I was a prince we wouldn't have lived in that tiny apartment. Oh no, I'll remind you of learning you first aid until you actually take the time to learn it.

 Mrs Fields: Oh yes he does [she laughed]. He just never stops eating, he's exactly his father. Even if he's full at dinner he'll still eat dessert.

 Harry: I'd say we can get back in bed but I want to unwrap our presents! Okay, I'll- [When Anna already grabbed the teapot he let it go and got back in his seat] Sorry, you do it.

 Anna: I thought you were hungry! Um, hello. [she pointed to herself] I better be cuter though. Don't hate on our tiny apartment. I liked it, it was perfect for the two of us. I'm waiting for my teacher to tell me when I am going to learn this first aid stuff. [she laughed] That's where all the food used to disappear to in the house. How about we eat while we open presents in the living room with your dad? [she frowned as they bumped into each other again but when he let her have the tea pot, she started to make tea for his mom as she snacked on a piece of her toast]

 Harry: I can eat and open presents. Just a tiiiny bit [he laughed] no, just kidding, she may be a duchess now but you're much cuter! Not hating it, I really liked it too. I wonder if it still exists? .. how about next weekend? [He asked, implying she'd see him again then] Sounds good! [He only got into one more awkward situation when he wanted Anna to go first to the living room and she wanted to let him go first, but got out of it with a "ladies first"] All right! First present is for... Anna!

 Anna: Let me just finish this tea and we can go open presents. You are such a little kid at Christmas. [she teased] I better be cuter! I drove by our old building a few weeks ago. I don't know if it exists or if they turned it into a bigger apartment. I wonder if someone actually lives there now though. [she paused for a minute before slowly nodded] Next weekend should work. Sunday night maybe? I can take a flight after the matinee that day. [when the tea was ready, she poured a cup for herself and his mom and awkwardly made it out of the kitchen, into the living room. She handed a cup to Mrs. Fields before sitting down on the couch] For me? [she took the present and looked at the tag] To Anna, From Harry. Aw. [she carefully ripped the paper off the box to find a red velvet box. She opened it and gasped at what was inside] Oh my god, Harry! [her fingers touched the necklace lightly] This is.. I can't believe this.

 Harry: Only at Christmas? You did? I wish you would've invited me! We should ask if we can go inside, I'd love to see it. Maybe a tiny elf lives there now. Sunday's I'm free so that would definitely work. [He smiled when she unwrapped the gift] Apparently I DID get you something. ... is it good? Do you like it?

 Anna: Yes, I never see you get more excited over opening present. I had just happened to be in the same neighbourhood. I would love it if we went together and were able to get inside. Or maybe a whole family lives there? Sunday it is then. [she was shocked at her gift from him] This is so much more than good. Of course I like it.. I love it. But Harry, this necklace is so expensive.

 Harry: I just love opening them, even if it's socks. Let's see if we can go there sometime? If a whole family lives there they'd have more troubles sharing the bathroom than we already did. It's a date. Or well, you know what I mean. [He smiled] I'm glad you do. I wanted to get you something special and the leading lady of Pretty Woman deserves something special. That's what Julia Roberts said too - just kidding, this is not the one she wore. That would've been a bit too crazy.

 Anna: I should have just gotten you socks instead. I would love that. Considering how much we shared the bathroom and we still had trouble, I really hope there isn’t a family living there. [she laughed] What a weird date to have — First Aid 101. I’m lucky to have you as my teacher though. [she looked over at him with a smile] I can’t believe you got something that looks so similar to the real thing though. You are so sweet, thank you. It’s perfect. [she leaned in and was about to kiss him but quickly changed her mind and kissed his cheek awkwardly] Um, so your turn now? [she handed him his gift]

 Harry: I would very happily have accepted socks from you. I think you bumped into my chin with your elbow only like at least five times while we lived there and had to brush our teeth together. I thought it would be a more special date. You don't know that yet, maybe I'm a super strict teacher [he gave her a wink]. I've spent so long finding out what the original looked like, I'm glad you like it. I know you get to wear one at the play, but this one is yours to keep. Yes, yes, my turn [he said getting excited. He wrapped open the paper quickly to reveal a big box. Taking off the top, he found a warm ski jacket, a scarf, gloves. He got them out a bit surprised.] Oh, thank you! These will be great for the winter. Especially if I come down here.

 Anna: Socks is not enough after this gift though. Five times a day, yes. I’m pretty sure you got makeup on your face some days when we were in there together. I hope dinner is involved in this date then. You could never be a super strict teacher! [she touched the necklace and was beaming at how excited she was] This is amazing. I know they have to return the necklace we have for the show. It’s under lock and key there. But this is so thoughtful. [she laughed at how excited he got] I hope you like it. [she laughed again] It’s not for down here, silly. Keep looking.

 Harry: I didn't wanna say five times a day but at least you did. So that is why my skin looked so good [he joked]. Only if you're a really good student. I'm glad you like it. Is the one on the play the one from the movie though? I'd keep Julia Robert's necklace under lock and key too. There's more? [He took out the jacket and carefully placed his next to him on the ground, when suddenly he saw pictures of a snowy hotel and two tickets] ... Aspen?

 Anna: It was at least five times a day. I would have random bruises from it too! [she laughed] It was all the powder and bronzer. You know I am a terrible student especially when it comes to stay still. That’s why you were going to help me in the first place. [she shook her head] No, I wish it was. It’s from a Harry Winston necklace so that’s why they keep it locked. There’s a whole security team for it and everything. [she smiled when he finally saw the tickets] Yeah, we always talked about going. I bought you a new pair of skis and boots too but they are in my apartment in New York. I mean, this was before everything so if you want to go with someone else, you can!

 Harry: While you were the one bumping into me! I looked gorgeous, maybe you fell for my pretty face but it was all your make-up. Oh you are the worst, I don't even understand how you got through your classes? With your theatre school you have to move around, but how did you ever survive high school? I'll just have to make it very interesting for you then. Harry Winston huh? That Harry has a good taste too. I'm sure you'd punch anyone in the face yourself who tried to steal it. [His face lit up with joy] Skiing? Oh my god. [He laughed] That is amazing! I haven't gone skiing in years! I can't believe you bought all this. [Before realising it he already hugged her] What? [He let her go and shook his head] No, no, you bought this for us. You can come with me. ... only if you want to though..

 Anna: I’m pretty sure it was the other way around! I knew you being good looking was too good to be true. Good thing I liked you for more than just your looks! Looks like I I have a new face to do up with makeup now. [she teased] because I had the best boyfriend ever and his parents to help me through my classes. I only survived drama class in high school. He has the best taste. My Harry has the really good taste too with this necklace. I do have a good right hook. [she smiled wide when he got excited about the trip] You kept talking about wanting to go skiing for the longest time so I thought an all expenses paid trip was the perfect Christmas gift. It is one of the best suites they have overlooking the slopes so it should be beautiful. [she hugged him back until he let her go] Well I did buy myself a new pair of skis myself so I hope I can go because I do want to.

 Harry: Nooo, I'd never bump into you. I'm sorry, I was never that good looking. Oh right, because you love my jokes too! I think this face will stay free from make-up for now, but you can dye my hair if that makes you happy? I wasn't always very helpful [he said with a smile, knowing that doing homework together usually ended differently] I felt awkward during those classes actually. Just with the necklace? I can't believe you still remembered that! It is the perfect gift! I cannot wait to see it. Prepare to go skiing all day with me! Thank you Anna, a lot.

 Anna: Not on purpose but you would always reach across me for your stuff and then we’d bump into each other. Heeeey, I was joking! You were very good looking, even now. I love all of you. [it took her a second to realize what she had said and she felt that awkward feeling again] Um, yes, of course. Can’t say I’ve ever, um, dyed hair. [she blushed, knowing what he was talking about] Even in those moments, you were VERY helpful. Noooo, for everything plus the necklace. I hope you can help me find a reason to wear this necklace out. Of course I remembered. We talked about going to Aspen when we finally made it. Yay! I am so excited! You are so welcome. I hope it’s as great as we both are picturing it to be.

 Harry: I think our bathroom was made for half a person rather than two. Aw, thank you, thank you. [He stopped when she admitted she loved him. He knew it wasn’t a confession she had wanted to blurt out, so he just nodded at her, knowing this wasn’t the moment to say he loved her too, because she might feel like she needed to take it back] Can you believe I actually did this hair myself? I’m getting quite good at it. Even though my mom truly hates the color. [He laughed a little] I was a lot of things VERY much during our homework sessions. [He teased her, knowing he was probably more very distracting than very helpful] I’m glad you like it. You can wear it while skiing? [He joked] And looks like we finally made it but never went there. Oh, if there’s enough snowfall, it will be absolutely amazing. I’d jump on the plane right now honestly. Ahh. Thank you so much.

 Anna: I am actually shocked to hear you can dye your own hair. She must miss your brown locks. [she giggled] You were there when I was too stressed about studying and distracted me with.. other things. And you were there when I wanted nothing to do with homework and yet somehow still helped me get it done in your own special way of doing things. [she winked] I am so not wearing this while we are skiing! It will get lost in the snow somewhere! [she smiled and hugged him again] We aren’t leaving for a couple months so you have to be patient! But you’re welcome, I’m happy you’re so excited about it.

[batkidsandco]

Chapter 1 and 2 (plus a sneak peak at chapter 3) of my fanfic Something New that will being going up on Ao3 as soon as I get my account up and running.

Jason learns he has a daughter and Tim has a visitor who claims to have met him years ago.

Chapter 1 Tim could see two men on the street bellow. They were standing close talking; lit only by the light of the bar they stood outside. The nearest street light would occasionally give off a pathetic glow before dying out again. One of the men reached into his pocket and Tim leaned forward a bit more. ‘Hey Red don’t think about jumping off now!’ The voice startled him so much he nearly fell of the roof. By the time he’d recovered himself the two men were gone. Cursing under his breath he turned to face Jason. ‘And why would I do that?’ he asked not attempting to hide his annoyance. ‘Dunno.’ Jason shrugged sitting down next to him. ‘Call of the void or something like that.’ ‘So what are you doing here? I thought you weren’t on patrol tonight.’   ‘How did you know?’ ‘Dick told me. Well he told Barbara and I happened to hear.’ Meaning you listened in on their conversation Tim thought. ‘Batman got called out on League business. So I’m filing in. What about you?’ Jason pointed to the roof they were sat on. ‘I live here. Top floor. The only way for anyone...’ he stopped looking Tim up and down. ‘The only way for most people to get up here is through my apartment.’ Tim glanced at the street bellow, catching a glimpse of a woman throwing up in the gutter, as her friend pulled on her shirt. ‘Nice place you got.’ He scoffed. ‘’S all right.’ Jason shrugged. He stood up and stretched. ‘Well, see you around Red.’ He began to make his way to the door. ‘Yeah see you Red.’ Tim turned to the street bellow. It was deserted. He sighed, apart from the two men nothing really seemed to be happening here. ‘Let’s give it another minuet.’ He told himself.

Chapter 2

Tim and Dick made their way up the steps to the manor doors. ‘So any idea why Bruce wanted to meet us here?’ Dick asked. Tim shrugged. ‘No idea. Maybe Damian fell off the roof.’ His brother gave him a sideways glance. ‘Well don’t get your hopes up.’ He teased, reaching for the doorbell. They didn’t have to wait long before it was opened by Alfred. ‘Hey Alfie!’ Dick called. ‘Good morning master Dick. Master Tim. The others are waiting in the TV room.’ The two of them headed off to where everyone else was waiting. Damian was sat closest to the door, pressed up against the arm of the chair as if he was trying to put as much space between Stephanie and himself. Steph was sat at the far end of the couch, talking to Cass who was sat on the floor. Duke was sat on the floor between the Couch and the armchair. Bruce stood in the corner of the room a slightly deeper frown than usual on his face. And sat in the armchair was a young girl they’d never seen before. She had long black hair tied in two bunches and big brown eyes. She sat swinging her legs, her scabby knees visibly peeking out from under her pink shorts. ‘Oh Bruce you didn’t.’ Dick teased. ‘He most certainly did not!’ Damian snapped. The others laughed. Dick still grinning made his way over to the girl, before crouching down so he was eye level with her. ‘Hello I’m Dick, what’s your name?’ She stopped swinging her legs and sat bolt upright. ‘Rosaline Todd.’ She chirped. Dick’s smile faltered as he and Tim, who was now sat between Steph and Cass, turned to look at Bruce. He sighed and shifted slightly. ‘Look does anyone know where Jason is?’ Just as he asked the door bell rang. ‘Well speak of the Devil.’ Alfred said as he left to answer it. The rest of them sat, or in Bruce’s case stood, in silence watching Rosaline. She had started swinging her legs again this time side to side. They all turned to face the door when they heard the loud clomp, clomp, clomp of Jason’s boots. He came in just behind Alfred and stopped in the door way. ‘So what’s going on?’ he asked leaning against the door frame. Bruce sighed. ‘Jason this is Rosaline. She’s. Well she’s your daughter.’ Jason looked at Rosaline, the colour draining from his face. Everyone watched him in silence. But he just stood there like he’d forgotten how to move. Rosaline got down from the armchair and made her way over to him. ‘Are you really my daddy?’ she asked. Jason opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. So he closed it again and nodded. Rosaline’s grin widened and she threw her arms around his legs. Slowly he lifted his hand and placed it on the back of her head. Still grinning she looked up and stomped he feet excitedly. ‘She likes you.’ Cass said breaking the silence. Jason nodded before turning to face Bruce. ‘Where’s her mother?’ he asked. ‘We don’t know.’ Bruce replied. ‘Alfred found her on the door step this morning.’ Jason clenched his teeth in anger. Tim couldn’t blame him, what kind of person left their toddler on a stranger’s doorstep? ‘So how do you know she’s mine?’ ‘There was a letter.’ He reached into his pocket and handed it to Jason. ‘It was addressed to me but you should read it.’ Hesitantly Jason took the letter and began to read. ‘There’s no name.’ He said quietly placing the letter on the couch arm next to Damian. ‘So where’s she going to live?’ Tim asked. ‘I wanna live with daddy.’ Rosaline chimed. ‘Is that a good idea?’ Dick asked. ‘You move around a lot, and your place isn’t exactly kid friendly.’ ‘Not to be rude Dickie bird but you didn’t even stay in one country until you were eight.’ Dick looked thoughtful. ‘True.’ He laughed. Jason smiled and picked Rosaline up. She laughed happily putting her hands on either side of his face. ‘Rosie. Do you really want to live with me?’ she nodded vigorously. ‘Yep!’ he sighed. ‘Ok then.’

***

After wrestling with the lock for a bit Jason finally got the door open. He walked in, Rosaline trailing behind him pulling her suitcase. ‘Have you eaten today?’ he asked her. ‘The nice man in the big house gave me a cookie.’ He nodded. Ok sit on the couch and I’ll get you some breakfast, and don’t touch anything. He made his way to the couch and I’ll get you some breakfast, and don’t touch anything. He made his way to the kitchenette. There wasn’t much there to eat. A few non perishables he kept in every safe house. Some bottles of alcohol, and just behind the bottles a jar of marmalade. He pulled it out and peered inside. Seems ok, he thought. He found the bread he’d shoved behind the toaster and put the last slice in. While he waited he decided to have a look in Rosaline’s suitcase. It lay at her feet as she swung her legs. Inside were some clothes, a teddy, a doll and a toy rabbit, a sippy cup, a couple of books, a pack of crayons and right at the bottom... ‘Blackbat!’ Rosaline cried grabbing the doll. ‘You found her.’ Jason reached into the suitcase and pulled out the two other dolls, a Batman and a first Robin doll. He could tell by the shape they were in they were older. ‘Do you play with these a lot?’ he asked. She nodded. ‘Black bat’s the bestest.’ Jason laughed putting the dolls down. She is pretty cool.’ He picked up the sippy cup and he filled it with water, before finishing the toast and handing it to Rosaline. ‘Ta.’ He nodded before heading to his bedroom. It was a tiny cupboard room that was half taken up by a single mattress. Most of the other half was taken up by a trunk that was filled with spare clothes, tools and ammunition. He gave the trunk a tug. It didn’t budge. He grabbed the handle with both hands and pulled hard. Nothing. ‘Daddy.’ A voice called from the doorway. ‘What are you doing?’ He turned to see Rosaline standing there. ‘I’m trying to move my things out of here so you can sleep here.’ ‘Can I help?’ Jason laughed. ‘You can try princess. But I can’t move it.’ Rosaline made her way over, before walking round to the side and placing her hands on the trunk. With a tiny grunt she lifted the trunk off the floor with ease. Jason stared at her as she grinned up at him. That trunk should off taken two grown men to lift. And here was this tiny four year old carrying it like it was nothing. She’s a fucking meta he thought. As if having a daughter wasn’t weird enough he had to have one with super strength. By the time he’d pulled himself out of his trance Rosaline had already carried the trunk into the next room and put it down behind the couch. ‘Daddy can we go to the park?’ ‘Yeah sure. But we need to go to the store after.’

Chapter 3 Tim sank into the chair and rubbed his face. What a way to start the day. Still, he thought, it’s not the weirdest thing to happen around here. ‘Hey is this seat taken?’ he looked up at the girl standing over him. ‘Uh no.’ ‘Thanks.’ She sat down in the seat across from him. She was around his age and kind of pretty. She had long black hair tied into a ponytail, and rosebud lips. Her pale willowy arms were covered in tattoos of symbols, most of which he didn’t recognise. He noticed she didn’t have a drink on her. She smiled at him with an icy smile. ‘You don’t remember me do you Tim?’ Tim shook his head. ‘Didn’t think so. You were just a babe after all.’ ‘Sorry but who are you?’ The girl laughed, the sound made his skin crawl. ‘Oh where are my manners. I’m Mesper.’ Her grin widened. ‘And I have something of yours.’ ‘What?’ ‘Your powers.’ Tim’s head jerked back. ‘Ok who’s pranking me?’ Mesper’s smile faltered. ‘Oh I can assure you this is no joke.’ She lowered her shades to show two black eyes. ‘You see when you were little you got sick. Very sick. In fact you were dying and the doctors couldn’t do anything about it. So in order to save you. Your parents made a deal with me. I’d cure you and in exchange I could take your powers.’ She leaned back her smile now sickeningly smug.  

[pumpkins-s]

Spilling Like An Overflowing Sink

Read on AO3 Here

Read the Other Chapters on Tumblr Here

Lance Alexander Rafael McClain is born in the middle of a summer storm, thunder cracking and rain slamming onto the roof of an old ramshackle house that had seen more than its fair share of children.

The miracle baby, that’s what the family had called Lance. The unexpected son to a mother of five daughters.

(In which family is always complicated, Lance’s life hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, and he and Keith are really emotionally constipated for each other.)

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationships: Keith/Lance, significant platonic Lance & Hunk

Characters: Lance, Lance’s family, Hunk, Keith, Shiro, Pidge, Allura, Coran

Chapter 8: Longings

(( Author’s Note:

(kicks down door) Greetings, I'm back.

Apologies for being away from this fic so long. It's been a weird few months for me with a lot of personal stuff going on (If you follow me on social media I'm sure you witnessed the fallout of my breakup with my near year-long partner, for one), and that in addition to the Large amount of discourse in the fandom that sprung up after season 2, particularly surrounding Lance content, made me too nervous to update for a long time.

It took a while, but I eventually remembered that I started this fic for me, because it makes me happy, and letting the pressures of how long an update was or worrying over people's demands for when Keith would arrive was only hurting me, and my ability to write the fic.

So new rule. I'm doing this at my pace, Keith will get here when he gets here. End of story.

Now, before we begin, a couple things:

I'm incredibly honored and delighted to present to you all the finished version of Peachlance's fanart for this fic, which if you remember I linked the WIP sketch to a couple chapters back. You can check out their gorgeous art of Lance & Hunk here on tumblr, or here on twitter.

Also! I'm still not an artist in the slightest, but for those of y'all desiring them, here's some rough references for Mavis and Ritzie & Yuu I did a few months ago.

That's it. Have fun, bye. ))

Mavis’s apartment is a tiny thing on the thirteenth floor of a crumbling old residential building wedged between two larger, shinier new buildings, the few small windows in her apartment providing absolutely stunning views of her fire escape and the wall of the building outside.

It’s tiny, jam-packed, and bordering on claustrophobic, with its singular bedroom, living room, kitchenette, and bathroom all crammed together into one small unit. As a whole, it’s considerably smaller than Lance’s home, even if he is used to sharing that space with a hoard of other people, and arguably he’s pretty sure Mavis’s bedroom is actually slightly smaller than his and Hunk’s dorm room at Greenwood, which is saying something, given that’s not exactly a large space either.

Lance loves it instantly.

The first time he sees the apartment, an exhaustingly long thirty minute subway ride involving three train changes away from the airport, Mavis kicks the door open with otherwise little fanfare, dumping Lance’s suitcase by the door and straightening up.

“Welcome to city living! Mi casa es tu casa.”

Lance snorts, eyes roaming over the mess of dirty dishes in the sink, the unfolded pile of laundry on the coffee table, the assortment of books and music sheets on the kitchen counter. “Tu casa es un desastre.”

“Hush.” Mavis says, pointing a finger at him. “You try being an adult capable of clean, organized living these days. It’s hard.”

“You’re twenty-five.” Lance deadpans, and Mavis sniffs, flipping her hair and crossing her arms, pouting.

“Don’t remind me. I already feel old.” She claps her hands, grabbing Lance’s bag again and swinging it over her shoulder easily as if it isn’t heavily packed with everything Lance needs to survive here for three and a half weeks. “C’mon, let’s get you settled. You’re lucky I bought a bed that has one of those second mattress pullout trundle things in case one of my brothers or Evie ever came to stay or something.”

“Goodie.” Lance mutters, and Mavis smirks back at him, nudging the bedroom door open just as her phone goes off. Pulling it out of her pocket, she glances at the number and winces. “Work. I need to take this.” Swinging Lance’s bag off her shoulder, she turns and bodily chucks it at the trundle bed, sending it flying onto it with a loud crash that leaves Lance wincing and pitying his cousin’s neighbors. “Go ahead and get settled while I’m on the phone, if you want. There’s some toiletries and spare clothes I picked up just in case, since I wasn’t sure if you packed enough given I do the laundry like… once a month.”

“Gross.” Mavis snorts, and nudges him into the room, pulling the door shut behind her as she turns back to the living room, answering her call with a muffled, yet distinctly blunt “What.”, obviously none-to-pleased with whomever is calling her on her day off.

Sighing, Lance shuffles his way over to the trundle bed, nudging his suitcase over to a corner as best he can and then flopping down, savoring being able to stretch out properly after hours of being crammed on first a plane and then the subway. He may be smaller than an adult, or even, admittedly, small for his age, but that doesn’t mean he appreciates being shoved into tight spaces for extended periods of time any more than the next person.

Rubbing at his eyes, he sits up and turns to the small pile of clothes and what looks like a spare toothbrush and face-wash, among other things, resting on the pillow. He moves the toiletries without much thought, idly inspecting the label on the face-wash and happily noting it’s a brand he’s used before, but when he turns to the clothes he hesitates, looking at the shirt resting on top properly for the first time and noting a… small problem.

It’s pink.

A bright, searing pink, small flowers patterned along the collar and lace for sleeves.

Hands shaking, he grabs the fabric and carefully lifts it up, eyes roaming over the distinctly feminine cut and color of the shirt with a kind of displaced horror, offset by the hesitant want he feels just from looking.

The shirt is exactly the kind of thing he would have picked out, a year and a lifetime ago. On instinct, he holds it to his nose, and it smells… not like what he remembers when he thinks of clothing like this, of Loraine’s shampoo and his mother’s laundry detergent, but it does smell somewhat like Mavis, like the subtle scent of her leather jacket and her apartment, and that is… not right, but not wrong either.

God though, that doesn’t take the edge off the wanting, even noting these minute differences between his memories of the life he craves and his reality. If anything, knowing it’s real, here and presented in this space where he is relatively free of the consequences of such choices, makes the whole thing worse.

Almost idly, hands gripping light fabric, he thinks of a story his Aunt Rosa had told him once as a child, an old Greek myth from one of her well-worn books about a king who was punished for his transgressions in the afterlife by being placed on an island surrounded by water and with fruit trees growing on it, but could not eat or drink, no matter how much he hungered or thirsted, for eternity.

That is what this is like, he thinks. It’s placing cursed salvation in front of a starving person and watching them crawl desperately towards it.

He wants so badly, and yet to have it is akin to taking fruit from the poisoned tree.

Jerking slightly, Lance drops the shirt with shaking hands, as if it might scald him. From the kitchen, Mavis’s voice, raising in volume as she argues with whoever is on the other end of the line, drifts through, pulling him back to reality.

Mavis… right.

Assumedly, this is her doing, then.

Hesitantly, he turns to the remaining pile of clothing, eyes falling to a now more than obvious assortment of bright patterns and cheerful designs, a veritable ball of doom. Reaching out, both hands grasping unsurely, he rifles through it, overly-short cut fingernails, a habit he picked up to fight the urge to paint them, catching on floral shorts and thin tights and close-shaped t-shirts splashed with color.

As a whole, he counts four shirts, two skirts, one pair of high-waist shorts, and a single pair of light pink tights.

…Oh, and a clip-on hair ribbon. Blue.

Really, it’s not that much, barely a few days selection of clothes, but at the same time, it’s everything.

He wants to cry, he wants to cheer, he wants to burn it and curl up in a ball and try to forget.

It’s the little things that destroy a person, Lance thinks, when it comes to the wanting.

Outside the room, Mavis’s voice rises to a sharp crescendo, followed by the muffled sound of something being chucked sharply against a thankfully soft object, and, judging by the following array of colorful swears directed to the air, Lance can only assume it was Mavis’s phone being thrown, hopefully onto the sofa or something where it won’t be damaged.

It’s a funny thought that preoccupies his mind for all of about two seconds, before his gaze falls to the clothing spread out before him, and he swallows nervously, calling out. “M-Mavis…?”

Despite his half-hearted effort at the tiny vocalization, the loud cursing from the kitchen trails off, and after a moment, Mavis pushes her way into the room, door slamming open and then swinging shut behind her on its own momentum. Her hair is a mess, sticking out in every direction where she’s clearly run her fingers through it, but she doesn’t look upset, just mildly pissed at best.

“Sorry, sorry, my boss is a dick. I was supposed to have tomorrow off to do fun bonding shit with you or something, but he’s now demanding I cover my lazy coworkers ass so…” She trails off, eyes falling to him for the first time and widening, taking in his own shell-shocked expression, before her gaze catches on the scattered clothing, and it closes off, becomes guarded. “Ah.”

With a kind of long-awaited resignation, she trudges over to the trundle bed, nudging Lance gently with a food to get him to move over, and then flopping down next to him, lifting an arm in clear invitation. Lance doesn’t hesitate, despite the distant knowledge that the articles of his distress were undeniably provided by the person next to him, and falls against her side, tucking his head under Mavis’s chin and listening to the thrum of her heartbeat, the erratic sound slowing out to a steady rhythm as she calms down.

It’s good. Soothing. Like how he used to lay with Loraine when he was younger, the two of them tucked up together on that cramped bed layered in old quilts and well-worn pillows.

For a moment, when he closes his eyes and feels Mavis’s blunt fingernails scratch lightly against his scalp as her fingers card gently through his hair, he can pretend he’s back there again, in his sanctuary.

But... He sighs out, opening his eyes and meeting the sight of Mavis’s whitewashed wall. He is not there, and this apartment might just be his next best chance at something like a new sanctuary.

“I’m sorry.” Mavis says after a long moment of quiet, voice low and unsure. “I forgot.”

“Why would you…?” He rasps out, words falling into uncertainty.

Mavis chuckles, a brittle, bitter sound. “Let’s call it a momentary increase in stupidity. I just…” She sighs. “I wasn’t thinking, really. Well… No, I was thinking, just not very intelligently.”

“Well, clearly.”

She laughs at that, small but genuine, and Lance manages his own wet giggle in return. She grins down at him, and then her face falls, turning away to look at the wall. “I… I listen to you on the other end of that phone every week, Lance, and I don’t even have to see you to know how much it’s killing you underneath, living like that. No matter what, you’re miserable because of it, and I suppose I just thought…” She shrugs. “No one knows you here, so there’s no consequences here, y’know? It’s completely removed from home, from your school… from everything.” Mavis smiles weakly. “It’s stupid, but I guess at the time I wanted this place to be the escape for you that I made it for me. Plus, well… I can’t help but feel a little guilty, I suppose.”

Lance shifts at that, offering a questioning noise. “What? Why?”

Mavis shifts nervously. “Lance, you hate living like this, and I was the one who talked you into Greenwood in the first place—“

“Hey, no. No.” Lance sits up quickly, glaring at Mavis. “You didn’t talk me into anything. This— Everything was my decision. You didn’t coerce me into making the choices I have or any of that shit.”

“But—“

“Nope!” He says firmly, poking his cousin’s cheek gently. “You helped me, nothing more, and for that I’m grateful, okay? I’m…” He sighs. “I’m not saying I like living like this, or that I’m alright with it, because I’m really… really not, but I need it. I need this… purpose, to keep me going, to give me something to hold onto.” Lance hesitates. “I’m honestly not sure if I’d be alive right now, if you hadn’t helped me find that. It stabilized me.”

Mavis stares at him for a long moment, and then groans, head tipping back to fall against the side of the proper bed next to the trundle, where her back rests. “Don’t go getting emotional on me now, kid. We can’t both be having a sob fest, and your bullshit earnestness makes my self-pity just look sad.”

Lance grins in spite of himself. “Karma for deciding you’re to blame for all my problems.”

“Hey!” Mavis sticks a hand into the air, pointing up at nothing imperiously. “I never said I was to blame for all your problems. Just… a few of them.” She coughs, hand falling after a moment almost bashfully. “Ok, in retrospect, that sounds… Yeah.” After a moment, she glances down at him, raising an eyebrow. “I did actually mean to return those this morning before I picked you up and get you some different stuff, I just genuinely forgot.”

He smiles softly. “I believe you. I wasn’t angry in the first place, anyways.”

It’s true, really. Whatever slight slivers of annoyance he’d felt at Mavis sticking such metaphorical poisoned fruit in front of him had quickly drained away within minutes, leaving only a kind of calm acceptance and tiny pieces of lingering grief.

Mavis loves him, as much as any of his sisters, and maybe even almost as much as Loraine had, he knows this. She would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, or pain him. She only wanted to help— Had only ever wanted to help, since that first conversation after Loraine’s funeral, when she had offered him Loraine’s final gift, and along with it the directions to a chance at redemption.

“I should have known it was a shitty idea from the beginning, really.” Mavis murmurs quietly, leaning over and snagging the single pair of tights to glare at them ruefully. “Sticking you with that kind of decision.”

Almost unconsciously, Lance reaches out, catching the dangling ends of the tights carefully and tangling them between his fingers. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…” He swallows. “I want too much, I think. I’m afraid if I let myself have that kind of thing, I might not have the heart to give it up again.” His eyes flicker to his cousin. “And I can’t, Mavis. I can’t let those pieces of who I was back into my life. I’d rather die than jeopardize this last thing that I can do for her.”

Mavis sighs, dropping the rest of the tights into his hands. “You shouldn’t live your life trying to please what’s not coming back, Lance.”

“It’s what I want, though.” He says. “It’s the only thing I want, really, to do what she couldn’t. It’s the closest I can get to keeping a piece of her alive, and I… I need that.”

“I know…” Mavis says, closing her eyes. “God, I know.”

That night, Lance dreams of Loraine. Of the soft warmth of her hugs, of the sweet taste of summer air and of breathless laughter caught in near soundlessness on rushing air around a speeding hoverbike on old dirt roads.

There are dreams Lance has, nightmares really, that end in screaming, in the oxygen in his lungs being stolen in heaving sobs that leave him shivering and with an aching throat. Those… Those are the nights of blood and pain, the sensation of falling through air and of remembering what glassy, unseeing eyes look like, the nights when he cannot escape the day she died.

This is not one of those nights. Though, still, the bittersweet feeling of her face and her heart, loving and kind, haunting his sleep leave him with tear tracks on his face when he wakes, regardless.

Almost blindly, he rolls half out of bed, intending to walk the five steps necessary to reach Hunk’s across the room and curl up against the larger, slowly snoring warmth that is his friend, before his hand touches scratchy, industrial carpet instead of old wooden floorboards, and he remembers he is not at home, and Hunk is not here.

Sitting up, he rubs at his eyes blearily, squinting at Mavis’s distinctly unoccupied bed next to the pullout trundle, and then turns when the faint flickering of light under the doorway catches his eye. Stumbling to his feet, he carefully crosses the room and opens the door, pulling it open with the gentlest of creaks to bring the wash of yellow light from the kitchen streaming in, illuminating Mavis’s frame where she sits on a stool next to her kitchen bench, half hunched over a bowl of cereal and eyes settled on the book she has propped up against the fruit bowl. She blinks, glancing up, and when her gaze finds him her expression softens ever so slightly, almost lost in the imperceptibly neutral planes of her face.

He almost expects her to offer some quip, some cliché line that he can read in her eyes that screams you too, huh? But instead, she merely makes a halfhearted noise that falls somewhere between a snort and a sigh, and pulls out the stool next to her, patting it idly. Slowly, Lance edges out of the doorway and over to the stool, catching his toes on the well-worn wood of the ring between the legs of the seat as he looks for footing, scrambling up onto it as best he can. Legs dangling, too short to touch the ground, once he’s settled.

Mavis grabs a bowl from a stack on the bench, obviously washed but yet to be put away in a cupboard, in front of him, and then nudges the open box of cereal towards him. He accepts it wordlessly, pouring it into the bowl in rush of noise against the silence as the pieces of grain collide against the porcelain.

They’re Cheerios, he notes almost absentmindedly.

Loraine had liked Cheerios.

Fumbling, he reaches for the milk carton where it sits between the two bowls, and Mavis intercepts him quickly, picking up the carton and unscrewing the lid.

“New carton. It’s heavy.” Is all she offers, pouring the milk into his bowl. She resettles the carton once the pieces of golden brown are floating in white, presenting him with a spoon from who knows where wordlessly.

Lance takes it, scooping up a mouthful, and tries not to cry when the cool rush of milk and sweet tang of the cereal hits his tongue.

“I never liked Cheerios much growing up.” Mavis says quietly, staring down at her half-empty bowl and trailing her spoon through the mess before lifting it to her lips. “Loraine and Evie did, though, so that was all my Ma or Aunt Maria ever bought when they went to the store.”

Outside, there comes the faintest whisper of witching hour traffic along the streets, and the clinking of their spoons against the porcelain bowls is loud in the otherwise silence of the night.  

“You’re an adult,” He murmurs, “…Does it ever get better?”

Mavis sighs, propping an elbow on the bench and resting her cheek in her hand. “I’ll tell you when I figure that out myself.”

Lance nods jerkily, and that’s the end of it.

Even by that first day after Lance arrives, things are a mess, because Mavis’s schedule is a mess— And maybe her life in general is a bit of a mess, too, but Lance imagines that comes with the territory when one is somehow a part-time bartender, part-time stagehand, and freelance musician all at once.

Plus, well, it’s Mavis. She kind of specializes in functioning from afar while everything actively goes to shit, which he suspects is a trait he might slowly be inheriting via continued exposure to her mere presence.

Maybe. Maybe.

…Lance isn’t sure if he knows how to function period, really, regardless of outside problems, so maybe he’s just kidding himself with that one.

Either way, function Mavis does, so the morning after their little heart-to-heart over soggy bowls of Cheerios in the last trickling vestiges of night, she rolls out of bed to the chime of an annoyingly cheerful alarm at six AM and staggers her way into the bathroom to get ready for work, nearly tripping over Lance’s trundle as she goes, which is enough to wake him and send him scurrying into her bed to seize the warm spot she’s left behind.

She makes a face at him when she returns, poking the side of his head where it peeks out between the sheets. He hums sleepily, and she grins, a crooked, fragile thing. “’M sorry about this. I really wasn’t supposed to work today.” He offers a half-awake noise of understanding, and Mavis’s expression fades into a soft smile. “I’ll be back by dinner, I’ll bring takeout or something. You still like Thai food, right?”

“Mmmm….” Lance rumbles out, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “…Yeah.”

“Good, cool.” She straightens up, sighing out. “TV has a DVR, remote’s on the table. Don’t open the door to anyone, etcetera, etcetera.”

“I know, Mavis.” He mumbles. “I’ll be fine.”

She hesitates, dropping an uncharacteristic kiss onto his forehead, an action Lance would expect more from Marcie or Evie, and then she’s gone.

It only takes a few hours, once he’s rolled out of bed and forced himself into the living room, before the boredom sets in, and the itch, just there under his skin, becomes all the more obvious, like a crawling, wiggling thing, burying deep until it hums and scratches in his bones. It had been there since he’d woken up and gone to get dressed, uncomfortably aware of the selection of clothing Mavis had gotten for him shoved onto a shelf in the closet, just… there, right within grasp.

It’s undeniable, like a siren’s call, and television can only distract him for so long.

Almost automatically, he reaches for his phone, intending to call Hunk, his go-to backup system, before he pauses, and then drops his hand.

Hunk. Right. Part of the whole purpose of this trip was to not so subtly give Hunk a break from Lance’s… everything. He’s not going to go calling his friend after less than a day over some frigging clothing. It’ll just leave Hunk worrying about him incessantly.

He takes his phone, buries it between the couch cushions, and resurrects Mavis’s laptop from its constantly overheating, cracked screen, duct-taped death to Skype Ritzie.

“It’s just all so boring, darling.” She tells him in lighthearted monotone, bushy hair pulled back in a single ponytail on the other side of the screen, pale skin against jean shorts where she sits cross-legged and curled up in on herself. Off screen, someone calls her name, and she yells back loudly in French, before turning back to the camera with a sigh. “I love France, but it’s all just making nice with Papa’s business associates while he jets them around on cruises and listening to him arguing over the phone with Daddy about custody, again.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s like I’m a freaking commodity to be passed around.”

“Sorry.” He tells her in a whisper, and Ritzie laughs, the bright, cheerful sound he’s come to recognize and appreciate in her.

“Not like it’s your fault. I’m just looking forward to when I escape the parental affection battle and school goes back. I miss you lot, even Yuu, despite his nagging.”

“Miss you too.” He says, and even though he can’t tell her about the long-worn scars on his arms or the buzzing itch under his skin that he called to distract himself from, because she does not know, will never know, he still means it.

Will always mean it.

Even long after Ritzie hangs up the call, Lance sits there, fingernails digging into his arms where they’re crossed, and when it gets to be too much, he jumps up, forces himself into busyness by washing he dishes that lay piled high on Mavis’s counter, all the way down to their cereal bowls from the night before.

He eats a handful of dry Cheerios, pretends it’s lunch even as he ignores the sandwich sitting in the fridge, cut in triangles like he insisted on when he was little, before Mavis left home, and studiously does not cry.

It’s fine. He’s fine.

And when Mavis brings home takeout and bullies him into watching shitty old anime reruns with her, it’s almost good.

Almost… It feels like no matter what Lance does, he’s always just grasping at almost.

Two days after Lance first arrives in New York, minus the day he actually got off the plane and took his first steps into Mavis’s apartment, he reaches his breaking point.

...In a way, he’s surprised he even lasted that long.

It’s not so bad, in the morning, when Mavis doesn’t have work and drags him out of bed to walk around the neighborhood, teaches him the differences between the New York and D.C. metro systems, parades him over to the diner two blocks down and presents him cheerfully to the workers, who all know her by first name. It’s movement, noise, people, all the ingredients to the recipe for adequate distraction and entertainment. It’s nice, even with the oppressive heat of the summer sun beating down on the sidewalks, and Lance can see why his cousin treasures the home she has found here so much.

It’s in the evening, when Mavis, apologetic and reluctant, has to duck out for a short shift at the bar, that Lance finds the itch return, driving him to more frantic cleaning and fruitless pacing in an effort to forget.

He knows, really, that there’s only two options to drive away the itch— Give in, or… Well, he’s been trying to break himself of the latter habit, for the sake of Hunk’s sanity and the slowly healing marks on his arms.

On some level, Lance doesn’t know why it’s so bad this time, compared to any other. He’s been doing this for over a year now, has held himself strictly to this decision even when he’s home on the weekends and holidays, far away from Greenwood and its prying eyes, and he’s never come this tenuously close to slipping, to giving in.

He thinks, maybe, it’s the utter lack of pressures here. If he gave in at home, if he dressed and acted as he liked and found a way to lock it down every time he returned to Greenwood, his family would, in well-meaning intent, encourage him to take the clothing he loved, the things he once treasured, back with him.

They are too understanding, in a way. They’ll never be able to grasp the importance of this, of the lie he and Mavis have so delicately crafted.

But… Here? Here there’s only Mavis— Friend, cousin, coconspirator, secret-keeper. She knows. She understands why.

And so, as the hours drain away and the night creeps in, Lance finds himself falling from grace in a moment of desperate self-pity, fueled by exhaustion and resignation, and sneaking into the bathroom with the single hair bow Mavis had purchased grasped between his shaking fingers.

When he clips it on unsteadily, stepping back and squinting into the mirror, it’s all wrong, a conspicuous mark against his short hair and faded dark grey shirt. He looks more like a child playing around in his mother’s makeup drawer, metaphorically, at least, then he does like himself.

At the same time, though, even that one little piece is… Everything. The color of it, the weight of it against his skull, it’s everything to him.

“It looks nice.” Mavis’s voice rings out from the doorway, and Lance startles, turning sharply to see her reclined there, arms crossed and considering.

He hadn’t even heard her come in, he realizes. Too caught up in his elated panic over this tiny act of... something.

“It looks terrible.” He bites out, and Mavis shrugs.

“I think the color suits you.”

Lance glances back to the mirror, looking again, and for a moment he wants to ask if she really thinks so, but he shakes it off. “Doesn’t matter anyways.” He reaches to unclip it, and Mavis slides forward quickly, catching his hands in her own and staring down at them, biting her lip for a moment in an unsure, hesitant gesture.

“I’m not going to tell you what you should or should not do, Lance. But—“ She glances up ever so slightly, meeting his eyes even as she still looks down at him, the significant height difference between them never more apparent. “Nobody here can touch you. Nobody has to know.”

He blinks, pointedly ignoring the itch behind his eyes, and hesitantly looks back at his reflection, studying the splash of sky blue against his slight curls, the same as Loraine’s, even at this length.

He wants. He wants so badly, and he’s so tired of not being able to give into it.

Hesitantly, nervously, he slips one of his hands free of Mavis’s, dropping it to his side and running the edges of his fingers along the hem of his board shorts, the long fabric chaffing against the inside of his knees as it has for the last two days, heavy and unbearable.

“Could I…” Lance says quietly. “Could you bring me those shorts you bought me? Please?”

Just three weeks. Three weeks here, in this place where secrets can lay buried, and then he will go home to Veradera, and be who he needs to be once more.

Nobody needs to know.

…Right?

[thekimmiandjackieshow]

The Extension.

January 7th, 2016. How do I remember the exact date? It was hands down the most stressful date of my program, and the check-in date for my extension.

I had spent the first part of the week saying goodbye to all my fall program friends that weren’t extending. From there, I had two days to pack up the remains of my apartment and get ready to move. I was the definition of stress that week. I had waited to start packing until my other roommates moved out. The apartment was messy enough with everybody else trying to get their stuff together, so it was best if I kept things in order until they left. I also somehow didn’t anticipate that it would be so difficult to pack up 6 months of my life in two days, while working long shifts. 

Brief interruption here: Walt Disney World relies heavily on the college program. Thousands of their employees are college program kids. In fact one source cited that 5% of their work force comes from the college program. Now imagine that all of those CP’s just leave one day. Walt Disney World still has to figure out how to operate. Obviously not every CP leaves. International CP’s are scheduled to stay during that period and some CP’s extend their semester-long programs. Regardless, it’s known as the “CP gap”. Our location was largely operated by college program kids, and out of all the fall/fall advantage friends (not counting international CP’s), only two of us were staying in the same role and same location. This meant that during that first week (and for a few weeks after), we were working incredibly long shifts to fill the gaps. My schedule was an actual nightmare. We were averaging around 60-65 hours per week, with every week ending on a 14 hour Saturday shift. While this was exhausting, what was even worse was that we were expected to move during this time.

So on January 6th, the night before I was supposed to move, I stayed up packing as much as I could. I didn’t have that many moving boxes, but I used what storage I had. Luckily for me, I had a car to transport all this stuff to my new place. 

My last night in the apartment, I crashed on the couch completely exhausted. The week had already been emotionally exhausting and work had drained me. I fell asleep sometime after midnight to the sound of my roommate packing up her belongings. 

The next morning, I got up early, threw on some comfortable moving clothes, and headed to the Commons clubhouse. The line for check-in snaked throughout the building, filled with students who were eager to get a move on with their day. I met up with Charlie, a coworker of mine that was extending to a new work location. We killed time in line by talking, but by the time we got to the front of the line, it was already 10:00am. Standing at the front of the line, I was called next. I had just received a text from my friend saying that she was moved to a different apartment in Vista Way that already had established roommates. (Since apartments where 50% or more of tenants were extending their programs weren’t required to move, many people were moving into already-established situations.) As I approached the table for check-in, I prayed hard that I wouldn’t have a similar experience. After showing the Cast Member my temporary ID, she gave me a piece of paper that had my new apartment listed. I was going to be moving to The Commons. Apartment 1022. All new roommates. I breathed a sigh of relief. She gave me my new key and told me that in order to receive my new housing ID, I’d have to turn in my old apartment key. My temporary housing ID expired at 3:00pm that same day, so I essentially had until 3:00pm that day to finish moving. I had a lot of work to do if I was going to move everything over in 5 hours.

Charlie and I headed over to my apartment first. When I got inside, two of the rooms were already claimed and one was completely open. I threw random belongings from my purse onto the mattress to mark which bed would be mine, and headed out. Our next stop was to Charlie’s new apartment in Chatham, with already established roommates. The apartment was cute though and they weren’t bothered by the roommate thing, so everything was working out. I drove back to Patterson to start loading my things into my car.

As I loaded everything up, I couldn’t help but be super excited. The Commons had a reputation amongst CP’s as being the best apartment complex. This complex used to be off-limits for domestic CP’s, reserved only for international students participating in the program. Because of this, each apartment comes equipped with a washer and a dryer. All other apartment complexes have to do their laundry at the designated coin laundry rooms within their complex. Gone were the days of lugging my laundry down to the laundry room at midnight, only to find that there weren’t enough washers available or that people hadn’t come to pick up their dry clothes yet. I’d no longer have to deal with how disgusting the laundry room was, or the fact that each load of laundry was over $1.00. My apartment had a washer and dryer unit in a laundry room of their own, right next to my bedroom. This is actually the biggest reason why people want to live in The Commons. If you want to get college kids excited, say the words “free laundry”. Beyond that, The Commons doesn’t have that much to offer. The bus stop at the front of the complex is the only bus stop that doesn’t accommodate all bus routes. Residents of The Commons sometimes had to take a bus to Chatham Square before boarding a bus to their actual location. It is also the most expensive of the four. I didn’t care much about the bus stops seeing as I had my own vehicle, and as long as I did $10.00 worth of laundry a month, the added cost was worth it.

On my first trip over to The Commons, I met one of my roommates. Her name was Jen and she worked Merchandise in Disney Springs. She was moving from Chatham to Commons and didn’t have a car. The bus routes weren’t convenient as there was no direct bus back and forth between the two complexes, and some drivers weren’t allowing her on the bus with any luggage (even though the rules stated that participants could bring 1 suitcase with them on the bus). She was walking from Chatham to Commons, one suitcase at a time to move her entire apartment. (Mind you, despite the complexes being somewhat near each other, it’s about a 15 minute walk one way.) I offered her a few rides to spare her some walk time, but because she had to pack the one suitcase and unpack it on the other end, we often were leaving at different times. 

Several trips later, I met two more of my roommates: Dana and Jo. On first impressions, Jo was a punk/artsy type who was incredibly laid back about everything in life. Dana was a well-dressed high-energy soul, who was very excited about all that was around her. By the time I had met them, I was run-down and very stressed out. Not only was I making several drives from one apartment to the next, but I was also making several trips from the car to the actual apartment itself, which happened to be upstairs. On one trek back out to the car, Jo asked if I needed any help. I didn’t recognize her as one of my roommates despite meeting her a few moments before, so I muttered, “No thanks” and hurried back to my car.

It was getting closer to 3:00pm and I still had tons of stops to make. My apartment in Patterson still had a few leftover bags I needed to grab, the fridge was still full of whatever my roommates had left behind, and my roommate Shearly was cashing in on my earlier offer to help her move the last of her belongings. She had one of the hardest moves - from Patterson to Vista Way. That’s about a 50 minute walk one way, and she also didn’t have a car. Right around this time was when I needed things to start going perfectly. Of course, that’s when I lost my key to my new apartment. My brilliant mind had decided to keep the key separate from the Patterson key on my key ring so that I didn’t accidentally mix the two up. I had gone my entire first program without losing my key or any of my ID’s, but there I was on the first day of my spring program, locked outside my apartment that I was desperately trying to move into. Flustered, I made a stop at the front office where they graciously gave me a new key free of charge. They warned me the next one would cost $3.00, but I wasn’t planning on losing it again! 

I got back to Patterson to help Shearly grab the last of her things. It was past 3:00pm by this point, and Shearly was loading the back of my car with her things. Our fridge and freezer still had some leftovers in it, but I wasn’t interested in packing up leftovers. I was desperate to get out, turn in my temporary ID (which had expired by this point), and be done with moving. Anything that she didn’t pack went in the trash, I took my last pictures of my first ever apartment, and we were on our way to Vista Way. We said our goodbyes, recognizing that even though we didn’t spend that much time together, it would be weird to not be roommates anymore. 

Against my better judgement, I decided to not make one last stop at Patterson. I was so ready to be done with moving, that several things were left behind. Anything in the medicine cabinet was forgotten about, several dishes that we had purchased still sat in the cabinets, and even a Be Our Guest souvenir cup from one of my first days on the college program was neglected in a cupboard somewhere. All things I noticed long after the move was completed.

I drove into The Commons, ready for the day to be over. It was nearing 5:00pm, and in an effort to save time, I hadn’t eaten all day. The app on my phone congratulated me for reaching 15,000 steps and climbing 30 flights of stairs, and the day wasn’t even over yet. I turned in my Patterson key to The Commons clubhouse and received my new purple housing ID. Same picture from when I first arrived, now printed on a different colored piece of plastic, boasting a new expiration date, with the giant letters “TC” for “The Commons” across the top. 

At some point during my attempt to help others move, I managed to confiscate Jen’s bedding. It was in the trunk of my car, so I decided to head up to the apartment to see if she was there. I didn’t see her but by this point it was roughly 6:00 or 7:00pm and I was starting to get light headed. I called Jackie in frustrated tears about the fact that I had just spent hours loading everything in and out of my car. Jen had also informed me earlier that although we were all new to The Commons, the rest of my roommates were all connected in some way. I was the one “rando” in the apartment, exemplified by a weird telescope that hung out in the living room with an old apartment number written on the side in Sharpie. The day had started out fantastic, but ended up being another disappointing and exhausting day. The last thing I wanted to do was be in my room organizing everything, but I had to go to work the next few days. I sat in my car relaying all this to my super supportive girlfriend, who convinced me to go find something to eat. I wound up at Panda Express, a favorite of my previous roommates who I so desperately wished were back in our Patterson apartment, waiting to hear my next horror work story. I sat in the corner of the restaurant, regretting all decisions to stay in Orlando. 

When I later told this story to Dana she was so sad that I hadn’t reached out to them. I tried to explain to her that her perfect composure while moving was discouraging to the very overwhelmed person I was that day. Luckily, it wasn’t long before the ice was broken and we were all chatting with each other. But on that day, I finished my Panda Express by myself, and drove home. After getting through security, I had thrown my ID in the cupholder of my car. After I parked, I went to grab it and my finger brushed up against something sharp. It was the key I had lost earlier in the day. Of course.

It was getting late and I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I walked into the apartment apologizing for the boxes that were going to be left unpacked that night, shoved everything off my bed save for a mattress cover and the sheets, set my alarm for work the next morning, and passed out. The inability to find anything I needed for work the next morning would be future Kimmi’s problem. I was ready for moving day to be over.