#and when it hits the news cycle an entire corner of the internet goes wild because their ship just became cannon

[apersonshapedcomputer]

Saw this prompt and my brain went into overdrive at the idea of enemies to lovers

The prompt: You are a supervillain. Your nemesis calls you to say, "This is embarrassing, but I really need a date to my friend's wedding because my ex is going to be there. Would you go with me?"

My first attempt at creative writing in years:

"Well that's kind of desperate, and not just the part where you're asking me of all people." I adjusted the pens on my desk as I belittled my nemesis, who had rather rudely burst into my office with a gust of wind and blinding light.

"I mean really, the oh so powerful and heroic," I scoffed, "Dawnstar can't get himself a date and has to resort to asking Rhetoric, that, oh what was the phrase you used again?" I tapped my chin as if in though for a moment and snapped my fingers as a rose from my seat to check on a plant he almost knocked over in his haste to make my day more complicated. "Ah right, that avaricious monster mobster lady is what you called me." Assured that my shenzhen nongke orchid was unharmed I turned back to the righteous hypocrite loitering in my office.

"That was six years ago and I've apologized four times already dammit." He sighed tiredly, and my sometimes enemy, sometimes ally turned a painfully earnest expression towards me. "You may be a criminal but you run a tight ship, have an actual code of conduct, and I understand better now that the world can't be so neatly portioned off into good and bad. You are also one of the most sought after people in the city, are stupid rich, and I need to show him that I've moved on!" With this last exclamation he gracelessly half fell, half threw himself onto my hand crafted, vegan leather couch.

"And this isn't just me saying things," he continued talking, now lounging and airing his frustrations as if he were in his therapist's office, "I really am over him, but he's got half out social circle convinced that I'm still pining after him like a forlorn maiden in a two dollar bodice ripper. He said that he dumped me! I was the one who said the relationship wasn't working out!" Moodily he turned over onto his stomach and groaned into a pillow, "Never date a reporter…"

I activate the coffee machine I had built into my cherry wood desk, knowing that I would need the boost to deal with this disaster of a man. "So you grand plan to show everyone that you've moved onto bigger and much better things is by asking your, and I quote, "Arch Nemesis" to be your date to the wedding of the decade?" As the smooth scent of espresso began to waft up from the desk I opened up hidden compartment number six on my desk, tossing a few of the hard candies I keep in it at his head.

"I was sixteen! You were the most dangerous person I'd ever met and I got over excited." He started picking up the candies that had bounced off onto the floor and began unwrapping them. "We haven't even seriously fought since the red bridge incident two years ago. Shadow Keeper has you listed as a League Associate. C'mon, we've teamed up together before, and I know you haven't been seeing anyone since that summer thing with Lady Obscura, help me out here." Cheeks filled with candy he made the most pitiful looking pair of puppy dog eyes I'd ever seen at me.

"We haven't fought seriously since the red bridge because I spent three months running a cost-benefit analysis on adjusting my operations to fall a bit more in line with your ideas of ethical, and found that I'd save fifteen percent more time and money by doing so." Idly I took my mug from it's position under the coffee machine and took a fortifying sip. "You will also recall that every time that we've teamed up the world was at stake. As I live here I have a vested interest in ensuring it does not get taken over by a zombie outbreak, or inter-dimensional demons." Leaning back in my seat I hold eye contact with him.

"What exactly do I get out of this arrangement? You weren't wrong you know, all those years ago when you called me avaricious." I smile at him, happy to be in the familiar position of holding all the power in a deal. "I do things because I gain something by doing them. You used to cry from dawn till dusk that I was heartless and wanted to take over the world. I do want the world, I want to own all of it and I would do such a good job taking care of it." I take another long sip of my coffee, drawing out the tension. "What can you give me Dawn? What makes this little ruse worth my while?"

Shoulders tense he looked down at his hands, biting his lip in contemplation. After a few false starts he spoke. "I don't really have anything material to offer you, at least nothing that you couldn't buy a bigger, nicer version of." He looked back at me again, face and posture set as if he were staring down the end of the world once more. "I've known you for a decade now, and I like to think that I've gained a bit of insight into how you think. We both agree you're greedy, and more than a little controlling. You also have a dramatic streak a mile wide." With those words he flashed a sly grin at me, rather at odds with the goodie goodie boy-scout persona he maintains for the press.

"Think of the drama Rhe! The scandal! It would be the biggest story of the year, and you would be the one orchestrating it all." He leap up from his seat and giddily leaned over my desk, bracing himself on his hands and looming over me even more than usual. "People love a good enemies-to-lovers story, they'd eat it up. Tell me you wouldn't relish the opportunity to meticulously plan out every bit of the backstory I know you're already drafting in your head!" I had to squint a bit as he began to literally glow in his excitement. "Think of looks on everyone's faces when you roll up to that wedding with me as your new arm candy. Ex-boyfriend who? I'm living my best life as the sugar-baby of the richest person on this side of the Mississippi, and you are clearly basking in the glory of another successful thirty-seven point plan."

I took one of my pens and use the pointy end to push his face away from where it had gotten dangerously close to mine, leaving a dot black ink on his forehead. He continued to beam at me as I stared at him, considering his proposal. I do love a good spectacle, and so many of my plans lately had needed to be boringly practical.

"If I agree to this," I tapped him on the head with the pen as he began to vibrate in excitement, "If I agree to this, you need to understand that we're playing the long game here." I took a hold of his chin and leaned in until our faces were mere inches apart. "I have a reputation, and this will be a very public declaration that you are mine." He had stilled the moment I touched him, and seemed to barely be breathing as I spoke. "Do you think you can handle that Dawn? Can you handle being mine?"

He slowly blinked, and the reality of what this scheme would mean for him seemed to sink in. For a long moment he looked at me before sighing and relaxing into my hand with a small smile. "I'm always up for a challenge Rhe."

"Good." With a grin I released him and glided towards the door, "Now come on, we need to begin phase one of this performance!"

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(part 2 here)