#and when i got my first paycheck at 12ish

[fella-lovin-fella]

i want to make videos so bad :(

[kyetalksshit]

GOOD EVENING!

Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated you, babes! 

(I feel like I flip flop between babes and loves lol. Which is better? Ah, what it does it matter. HELLO.) 

So ok it’s been a little while, that’s true, but I do have some updates! 

Firstly, WE’VE MOVED! And it’s still not ideal, and I’m still frustrated with some things, but like mostly it’s better than the last place. Like the woman of the house here, she’s very talkative and loud and it irritates me sometimes but she’s not a bitch like Loretta (the last woman). She’s got a kid but he’s mostly very quiet and when we do see him (he spends most of the time in his room playing) he’s really sweet. It doesn’t smell amazing/isn’t the cleanest because/but there are a mILLION KITTIES. IT’S SO GREAT. I mean it can be really annoying too and again, it’s not the BEST smelling place, but! THEY’RE SO CUTE. And after awhile you really don’t notice unless it’s bad. Plus we’re keeping our window open most of the time since the central AC/heating doesn’t make a huge difference in our room as it is, and we keep our door shut partly to keep the other kitties out, and so that Dany can hide in here when she wants to. I’ve been trying to get her to go out and explore more but she’s intimidated by all the kitties. I mean she’s definitely been making progress, and I’m teaching her that when she scratches on the door I’ll let her out (I know I know I worked so hard to get her to stop at the last place but this door is already scratched tf up and Dany wasn’t listening anyway ok I just got tired of snapping at her and she’s more likely to do that than to meow at me. I don’t know how to teach her to meow at the door if she wants out) and she mostly is ok with that. I shut the door behind her when she actually exits the rest of the way, like when there’s not another cat waiting for the door to open, bc then she gets scared. I’ve left her out in the hallway for short amounts of time by now, and she’s getting braver. Very veeeerryyyyy minimally, but braver. 

Also! I got to see Remi yesterday!!! She moved to Illinois back when I was still in Charlotte and I hadn’t seen her for like two years. I missed the shit out of her. Actually, it’s kind of funny because we were starting to hang out and talk a little more by the time she left but we still weren’t super close, like the most we talked was to talk shit about our shitty DM (also her ex and the “friend” who sexually assaulted me lol what a gREAT GUY) or rant about other shit, but like we’d still talk sometimes about other stuff. After she left, though, we started talking a little more? Lately we’ve been DMing on twitter every day. It may not be exactly every day, but I’m pretty sure that even on days where it’s been pretty quiet there’s been a message or two. So yeah lol the point is, we’re closer now than we were when she first left and I got to drive down to LA yesterday to go see her pretty early in the morning and I was SO EXCITED. I was a little stressed about gas but like I was not going to miss seeing her you know, and then she was rlly sweet and gave me a 20 for gas even though she isn’t working rn either and I just??? It was really nice and idk it made me a lil emotional but shh it’s ok. I wasn’t sure at first if she liked hugs, I couldn’t really remember and I don’t think I’d ever hugged her before, but I really wanted to hug her--but again, was a lil nervous bc I didn’t wanna make her feel weird, but then when we showed up she got excited and ran over to me and hugged me and idk I was v happy. I missed her a lot. We hung out and talked for two hours, and when I needed to move my car we just wound up parting ways because they had a lot of stuff to do. So we hugged again and talked about southern food and how she still says y’all and then we left and I was simultaneously v happy and v sad. We took a pic before we left, Remi, Con, and I. I wanted to be like “we should take a selfie too just the two of us” bc I like how my selfies turn out better and also idk it was the first time Con was meeting her but not me and idk, for some reason I just like... got nervous to ask for a selfie? I’m not sure why I’m like that, I feel like I LOVE taking selfies with people because it always feels like a “look at this person that I care about!!!” kind of thing but maybe because of that, I never wanna ask to take them, I just kind of hope that the other person asks? Maybe also stems from times where other people took selfies and I awkwardly stood to the side because they didn’t ask me to be in them. Wow I forget how awkward I can be in social situations. rip

Also another update, money situation is more stressful than before. Starbucks is still not transferring me, I’m hearing different reasons why from different people. Still convinced my old SM is trying to sabotage me like she has been for awhile because of me calling her out on her lies. I finally told her I was thinking of just quitting and applying as a re-hire and she was like !!! no!!! let me call one more time and give it one last shot!!! even though she had VERY CLEARLY given up and was like “idk man just call ur SM and have them figure it out bc idk what else to do” so I don’t know, hopefully she’ll do something about it this time. I got a v scary anxiety inducing phone call in which I was threatened with a cease and desist and shit because I haven’t been able to make payments on my car, and I explained the situation (without giving them an address bc tbqh idk where I’ll be living if I can’t start fucking working, and I have been filling out applications for places 45 minutes from me again because gdi I just need a fucking paycheck to sURVIVE ON) and they said I need to call as soon as I can with a specific date that I’ll be able to make a payment on. Unfortunately I ran out of phone service because I HAVEN’T BEEN MAKING MONEY so I’ll have to borrow con’s phone after hearing from my SM on monday. I’ll give them a date no matter what and just fIGURE SOMETHING OUT like I feel like even if it’s a 20 dollar payment or smth at least it’s SOMETHING you know? Ugh. Anyway. I don’t wanna think about this anymore, it’s just stressing me out. (Student loan payments are coming due too btw, so just added stress.) 

BUT! I’ve been writing like a mANIAC. I’ve been working in my second novel, East Of Madness, based around my D&D OC Alyx Driftwood, and what started as an AU version of my other D&D OC Ari Dawne but turned into her own character whose name is Zvea (I don’t have a last name atm). I’m over 24.5k words already. We aren’t even quite mid November. I’M HALFWAY DONE WITH THE 50K WORD COUNT. Granted, I had like a 5k word head start bUT STILL. 

Actually, remi’s part of the reason I got into such a writing streak in the first place, with all the writing talk we’d been doing. We were talking a LOT about d&d characters and somewhere along the line I just got iNSPIRED. 

ANYWAY I’M EXCITED ABOUT SHIT. 

ALSO I’VE BEEN FALLING ASLEEP AROUND 11:30-12ISH AND WAKING UP AROUND 7:30-8ISH AND I’M !!! IT’S SO PRODUCTIVE and ive gotten myself addicted to caffeine again making coffee every single morning AND I’M WRITING SO MUCH. 

Anyway. 

DAS IT FOR NOW. 

LUH U GUYS <3