#and what my mom has told us is that my grandma was not a nurturing parent | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

feysooah · 4 years ago

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HIHI !

I go by Fany & she/her -- it’s been a looong time since I rped so honestly pretty excited to be here and get this muse on the road :> no lie it’ll probably take me a bit to adjust and get in the groove of things so forgive my extra slowness but I’d love to plot n chat with all of you peeps like actually please lets !! do have a profile page up you’re free to check ( still being worked on shh ), and a rules page that’s really just more an info dump about rping with this mun & muse and some stuff about me in general if you’re curious ye

don’t have any plots up for grabs sadly, yet, but brainstorming is much welcome

here’s some tidbits about muse that might be helpful in the meanwhile tho ;

to start off, where she actually comes from;

From where her lineage diverged the Gwan bloodline has notoriously been known as very powerful divination magick practitioners within the Kyegeum house

alongside being super cordial with other houses and often the other genera as well, but generally aloof in matters that did not strictly concern them. this extended to the normal world and society as well

this was especially true for her grandpa, Gwan Youngchul

who ended up being turned in a surprise attack from a werewolf when the man had been out with his familiar companion -- Seok -- who despite best efforts could not save the witch from this sudden fate, could not stop their treasured bond severing

and despite managing to keep Youngchul alive through the whole ordeal, it would not take long ( if anything, suspiciously quick ) for a certain group of hunters to get whiff of the circumstance and swiftly rid off the ex-witch

Perhaps one bright side to look at was that he was able to communicate last wishes, some of which had already been written on letters hidden for the chance of an unlucky situation such as the one they were currently in arising. one of the wishes being a plea to protect his only daughter Jiyeong

At a tender age of seventeen Jiyeong took the news with surprising grace, not to say she wasn’t devastated and cried but what seemed to be request of her father to bond with his familiar was accepted after a moment of thinking it over, and bonding ritual decided to take place within the week

Jiyeong’s mother had been the one to mainly oversee her training once abilities started manifesting, a Kyegeum witch herself, with very different abilities compared to her husband

It was perhaps no surprise then that Jiyeong became very adamant not long after father’s death to focus studies and abilities on what her father had been so revered for; divination

something his older sister, Jiyeong’s aunt, was known for as well and gladly helped the girl with alongside taking the widowed family under her wing and protection

Jiyong followed after her father’s footsteps in many other things, most notably making friends and upholding favorable relations to the other houses, other genera as well

was endlessly fond of nature magic too, had an abundance of flowers and plants in every nook and cranny, a beautiful garden she tended to with care

many would even say she was touched by the sun itself, vibrant and warm soul she was, nurturing not with only plants but people themselves

eventually met a man who slowly swept Jiyeong off her feet, and not but a few years later they had a child, naming her Sooah. my muse. we’ll get to her in a bit I promise ._.

the man aka Dad is a human, just plain ole’ human. orphaned at a young age so while they wouldn’t know for certain if he has any sliver of witchy magic in him it’s unlikely

insists he fell in love with Jiyong at first sight pretty much. which is frankly understandable she was such a lovely person ;u;

was surprisingly chill about all the, well, witch stuff and whatnot, very curious too but also did want her to be careful and if possible not be that involved with that world

for about next 10 years things went on fairly normally, ya know, living the happy family life, going to work, mingling with the magical side of society

then she started getting sick every so often, out of the blue, however nothing even remotely seeming serious. though it was odd for a witch to be affected with flu so often

she didn’t think it was serious itself, and had a habit of hiding it in the beginning too when it wasn’t even noticeable

until it got to the point it simply could not be ignored, could not be just a passing small thing, could not be cured by any means she knew

and the next thing anyone else knew she was gone. almost like someone had reached and snuffed out her flame, just like that

where in the story we get to Sooah, so;

her early life wasn’t that special in honesty, if you don’t count all the stories her mother told about the secret magical world she too would be part of one day, and the lineage she was to inherit, abilities she would discover, all to be learned together

she had been a deviously curious child, daydreaming every other moment and next begging to see if even take part in what her mother was doing with her own magick

Sooah was quite interested in the guy sometimes accompanying her too, a friendly face she’d grown to know as Seok who she had learned eventually was mom’s bonded familiar, a fact she was entirely too excited about. but who also was before bonded to her grandpa that the girl never got to meet herself

would not fail to mention to him many times how she was going to one day find a familiar to bond with too, someone who was fun and kind and wanted to go on adventures and they would be the bestests of friends ever. and definitely cooler than him

she was always eager to understand and practice the power inside her in general, which she was starting to more and more by the days, before the sudden passing of her mother

it broke her :<

dad too, for a while he was nothing but basically a walking shell. she’s sure neither of them really truly recovered

backtracking just a lil because one very, very important notion was the familiar was of course bound to die soon along with the mom, Sooah was well aware of the fact by then and while she was stricken by grief at the time she was dedicated to finding him, no real plan in mind but urgent to know he was okay, like it would somehow make the situation any better

she did end up meeting him, understandably shaken himself but apparently already accepted own fate-- which at the moment did not sit well with her at all and Sooah, not even yet 14 years old, decided she was not going to let him just wither away and die alone how horrible would that be, how sad for that to be the end when her mom had exuded everything opposite, she was not going to let that happen no matter what

which meant the only thing she could actually do was to bond with Seok and by sheer force of will and maybe some tears - definitely some tears - did manage to convince for him to agree to it

a whole mess

she doesn’t regret it one bit, absolutely refuses to, yet does occasionally wonder if it was the right thing to do or even fair to him

but ultimately she’s glad he is in her life, aiding in any matter she may require, definitely now seen as a big brother she never had-- if she’s not too busy calling him grandpa bc seriously he’s old as all fuck. it still surprises her from time to time

( okay but it is hilarious to think Seok going from being as old as he was, looking about 40 to then having a 14 year old’s body lmaoo )

bless the grandma tho she was really a rock in this emotional time, even though she was dealing with the loss of her daughter, after having lost her husband so early in their lives too !

she kinda took over seeing to Sooah’s teaching and helping in any other way as well, more than welcoming to having her stay over for however long she needed or wanted to

she’s still thankfully alive and has a good relationship with both Sooah and Seok ;u;

Dad on the other hand.

they have both moved out of the house the family used to occupy with mom, into their own places

also have a somewhat strained relationship nowadays, more to do with his insistence on getting her to quit all the witch stuff cause it’s dangerous yadda yadda and she’s obviously not going to do that

not to say she’s not paranoid herself, and knowing how both her mom and grandpa died barely halfway into their lives even more so

it’s not only made her fearful of same fate but made her swear to stay away from any sort of divination magic if she can help it, somehow convinced that to be a factor in all of it

does have randomly prophetic dreams though, but nothing that has been major or necessarily that important so she’s.. okay with that. kinda. does keep a dream journal just in case

It’s coming up 10 years after the mom’s death, so I’m sure there’s been some rumors or other witches wondering if the Gwan family was just cursed or something, probably mostly from older and the more traditional types. doesn’t help Soaah’s dad being a plain human. or that she’s not sure if that might just actually be the case oof

as thus she’s definitely a lot more withdrawn when it comes to the other houses, or even Kyegeum themselves, doesn’t exactly feel like part of the community if you will

but is friendly to everyone and usually can be outwardly seen as having nothing weird or unusual going on beyond what you’d expect of a typical witch in this day and age

designs and sometimes makes jewelry for The Gem Lab actually, or if an individual knows to ask her personally Sooah does take custom work too ! and yes they all have very carefully picked gems or crystals, often imbued with enchantments of basic protection or if one wants something very specific she can probably do it

is kinda rich?? like grandpa was very up in there and left part of his inheritance to the mom, who of course left part of hers to Sooah. who doesn’t really like using that money as it is so it’s just sitting in a whole separate account. probably partly also because she’s not exactly the best when it comes to handling finances so. yeah.

uhh

this is so long already god I’m not gonna get into her personality or any of that now, yall can figure it out along the way or read up what I have on her page -- which isn’t much yet but it is something !! I’m def figuring her out myself too as I go haha

so ay if you wanna plot drop by my ims please ;; I do have a discord if you feel that’s easier too just ask for it !

also go show some love to Seok ouo

#( ;―intro )#( ;―lore )#( ;―ooc )#lies down- there we go #so I ramble hello guess some things haven't changed #psa: some things have been revised cause I'm a dumdum. nothing too big or what directly relates to muse so no worries!

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sugar-petals · 6 years ago

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Cornflower Blue (m)

SUMMARY: Way too hot, way too boring. Your countryside vacation is bound to suck. Until the farmer’s apprentice comes around: Kim Taehyung.

LENGTH: 4.9k

GENRE: farming au, crack/smut

A/N: Reupload, revamped! An old oneshot.

WARNINGS: topics of prejudice | dom/sub undertones | oral | sex outdoors

REQUEST: ‘Would you consider writing the scenario with Tae in a rural area setting during summer (something like OC was forced to spend her vacations with her grandparents and she meets Tae and it gets steamy - or whatever you come up with).’ [by anon]

Jeju may be beautiful. The fish markets are crowded, the cliffs loom staggering, rich green meadows burgeon in splendid colors. A really gorgeous place to be. Ancient volcanic ashes have nurtured the entire island to full blossom. But your days still feel lonely, enervated, and frankly: All too dull. Before your family left for the ferry, that was already obvious. It couldn’t get any more draining. And yet, the path to the house of your grandparents is weary and desolate in an unexpected altitude. Fewer tourists venture here, the general populace prefers to be closer to the sea with no hills around. The grim stone steps remind you all the more of how you should never left for vacation in the first place, accompanying your parents and sister Choa.

It’s July, staying at home in the city would have meant you were practically boiled alive. Though it would have saved money and you’d meet friends. You could prepare for graduation, look for jobs. This is not what you wanted. Steps, steps, steps, and not even a handrail for safety. It’s like going back to the past. You stomp ahead with several tons in your old red hiking backpack, or so it seems. You hate that backpack since practically forever. To your ostensible demise, the path gets rockier and more narrow as you proceed. This part of the countryside is far from picture-perfect.

The Kang family is seated in Gwangju for decades, but Grandpa Heejung and Grandma Yangsuk beg to differ. As you mother told you, they moved to Jeju forty years ago already, and rarely came back to their hometown since. Unlike the rest of the family, they don’t use social media or don’t bother making a phone call just because. You think that’s drastic as well as rude, so do your parents. But for this vacation, they have to leave you somewhere while they explore the south coast since you don’t want to go with them.

Jeju is nearby. That means you can, well, have to wait five days with your peculiar grandparents before the next vacation stop in Japan. Kagoshima — for more volcanoes. It just won’t stop. Mom in hellbent to visit Shanghai afterwards as well. Maybe you’ll see something about the busy nightlife there, but without the ugly 4 a.m. side of things. As of now, until the family reunites you are stuck in transit. Here on Jeju. In the house or actual hut that awaits you at the end of your path to the plateau. With no wifi whatsoever, it really is 20,000 BC up here.

That’s precisely how Heejung looks like. Walking lopsided toward you with a crusty shovel in his right and an almost torn straw hat in his left hand. He arrives chortling, holding his big belly the more he laughs. All you see is crooked teeth and a huge, wrinkled eye smile. Mom says he’s 74, you don’t believe a single word of that. Kang Heejung is the living proof that your family has surpassed the 200 years benchmark and everything else that is physically possible.

“Hey hey, how are your legs? With that backpack, we’ll hire you! We need groceries from downtown on Wednesday!” the old geezer laughs when you greet him with the last bit of courtesy that’s left. He doesn’t even bow back. “He, hello. Nice to see you. Um, here. Can I use the phone? Dad wants to know I arrived safely. My legs are actually… on fire,” you blink against the brutal zenith sun trying to look composed, causing even more laughter. Your sunglasses are somewhere at the bottom of your backpack. Exactly where they were easy to forget and hard to reach for, and you miss them dearly.

Apron-clad Grandma Yangsuk peeks out of the hut door at this much noise and comes waddling across with an equally disturbing, though toothless smile. She carries a basket with dried mushrooms. 78 years old, mom said. Yeah right.

“Oh —you can send them a letter!” Heejung wipes his eyes, but the tears won’t stop. You deposit the backpack on the ground grumpy, and in dire need of electricity. These people don’t even have a phone. Your parents really did send a letter to say when you arrive. They weren’t joking. Yangsuk perks up tan next to him as much as her petite height allows with a little mumbled greeting. She points at your slightly faded orange T-Shirt with a jittering hand. “What does Star Trek: T.O.S. mean?”

Wow. It’s 30,000 BC! It just keeps getting more and more paleolithic. “That’s my favorite TV series,” you retort, reasonably close to having a geek’s dreaded mental breakdown. Your burning legs don’t help. “Oh, and who’s that?” she indicates below to the slightly crumbled image of the Enterprise crew members. “So here we see Captain Kirk, and right there are Mister Spock and—”

“Is Kirk a good sailor?” Heejung asks with a now critical gaze, rubbing his chin. “He’s handsome. She probably likes him,” Yangsuk giggles, and they both start laughing like crazy again, arm in arm. “Too old, especially the actor anyways” you scratch your head, “and a womanizer. Not my type.” Yangsuk furrows her greyed brow at the mention of ‘womanizer’, but won’t comment further. She just keeps cackling when you try to heave your backpack up. Maybe you should introduce her to Britney Spears when you get the wifi to work somewhere around here. Well, if. By now, you are stuck with two screaming hyenas dragging you into their messy hut. Five days as their donkey or laughingstock you can survive, but not any longer. You should have rented a hotel, who cares about your bank account. This is some 40,000 BC type of hell.

Indoors, you accommodate on a sheepskin bed at the far end of the hut next to the kitchen. It’s broad but rather short in length. Just like the architecture of this place, with a low ceiling and interiors made from wood and stone, straw, and some shell decorations. Heejung has been preparing a creamy soup with herbs that permeate the entire spot in the meantime. It doesn’t smell too bad, actually. It calms the nerves. But you’ll have that in your clothes for the rest of the journey, the scent is really strong. And knowing Yangsuk by now, she will try to teach you scrubbing laundry in a creak or something. So you don’t say anything. The hotel in Kagoshima has to take care of that. The anticipation of fresh bread for dinner soothes you at least a bit. That’s something you can get used to. Still, you want to curse Choa for suggesting this place to you and your parents.

The rest of the afternoon you spend organizing your things, recovering your sunglasses from the backpack abyss, and helping Heejung — “Heehee” as you call him by now — carry water. He just goes on and on about Jeju’s wildlife, all sorts of superstitions, and disadvantages of being a farmer because trade is difficult and the economy is bad. But hey hey, life is good and simple and all. And you must really like Captain Kirk. So it’s about time for marriage. You wearing orange is a sign of luck and attracting handsome men so he will show up sometime for sure. Kirk might be away most of the time with his job, but yeah at least he’s got a high position and brings in the money so you won’t starve miserably. Mister Spock, he says, can just drop by to babysit your seven children. What on earth.

You don’t listen and shoulder your bucket with aching arms, hoping to grow more muscle overnight. For throwing Heehee into a volcanic lake or the laundry creak, wherever it is, and sprinting to the city with your backpack at record speed. But no, you need to drink first. So operating the well and towing chunky buckets to the hut has to suffice for now.

Jeju’s late afternoons are pleasant and warming at least, and the bees and butterflies are having fun all around with the pollen. You want to have that buzz, too. But who knows how long it takes until Shanghai or seeing Seokjin at home. Although your chances are very faint there, too. You have a big crush on him. But not vice versa. In fact, you think he has his eyes on Choa so you don’t make a move. You desperately would, could, and really want to. Plenty of fish in the sea? That doesn’t really help to distract you from being bitter about Jin. Thus you have to wait in the cocoon that is your current state of life. Very well, until whatever butterfly transformation happens in adulthood. Supposedly.

Relationship business in Gwangju is not your priority, though. The current precedence is: Becoming a junior farmer in rustic Jeju. Where Mount Halla could erupt any second to end this peasant internship with a pyroclastic surge. Or lava and acid rain. Thank you very much, and please no.

Yangsuk certified that the volcano has been dormant for several thousands of years. That your worries are, quote: “Some rank nonsense!” But who knows how this island reacts to your presence and Star Trek voodoo magic. You might have insulted the mighty spirits when your backpack dared to touch the holy ground. If only your grandparents were some standard Buddhists, then you might be able to talk or relate. But Heehee with his herbal soup and Yangsuk calling you “descendant of the orange earth goddess” as a joke… At least she gave you a supposed natural medicine for your leg pain. If it actually works, that’s surely another discussion.

No matter how hopeless they are, their early dinner looks quite delicious. Sitting on hard trunks, however, is not as cozy. Yangsuk does offer you a wooden chair. But that one is closer to collapse than your patience, so you stick to what you have. You try to find some comfort in the soup ignoring the chatter about your relatives. Heehee just started to slander your poor uncle Hwasang that a knock at the door startles you to the bone. Which damned soul would show up here but you unwilling worm who declined a 5-day ferry adventure.

“That’s our current assistant!” Yangsuk informs shrugging. Alright. An assistant. Alright, then. “Don’t stare at him too much. He’s an ugly bloke, not very skilled either,” Heehee whispers with rolling eyes, then slips from his trunk to open the cracking door. This just keeps getting worse.

But in steps an athletic boy. He has two tilefish hanging from his shoulders, sand and mud covering his face all over. He carries a sack of millet under one arm and a net with abalones from the market in the other hand. He’s topless.

“Just in time,” the boy hums, then almost drops the net when he spots you at the table. “You must be Y/N Noona!” he bows fiercely, which makes the fish glide off his shoulders. “Too bad. That’s Kim Taehyung,” Heehee helps to pick up the mishap, “excuse his ill manners.”

“No problem,” you nervously bumble about with the hem of your T-shirt. They told him about you, but not the other way around it seems. Thanks for nothing, you couldn’t even prepare for an entrance like that. He must be the most drop-dead gorgeous person you’ve ever seen. Even with what seems like an entire swamp plastered on him. Kim. Taehyung. The spark in the darkest of your nights. The flash of light that signals: This is where the tunnel ends. A boy like this at the prehistorically inspired end of the world—

Finally propels you back to 190,000 BC because you suddenly want to be a fossil. He’s so good-looking, it can petrify. Sharp nose and eyebrows, long neck, soft but hypnotizing eyes. Gorgons have nothing on him. Taehyung slacks down at the table flustered, trying to pull the millet sack together as to prevent the next possible accident. You just can’t feign your surprise and shock. Yangsuk catches up fast and taps your jaw. “Think of what Heejung said!” she grumbles, pouring Taehyung his soup with a rather lackluster scorn. “Pass him some of the bread,” she adds. That you will do. No objections. Bread for Kim Taehyung it is. Red alert, all forces gather, engage attack but all shields down.

The warm loaf is crisp between the grasp of your hands, both eyes set on Taehyung at the other end of the table. He stares right back, wiping his face absentmindedly with the wet cotton cloth that Heehee gave to him. Never did you forget to blink this long, the bread tearing sluggishly between your fingers. Yangsuk picks the millet from Taehyung’s arm and stores it at the back of the hut while you keep breaking the bread apart. Taehyung’s curious gaze is quite intent and affable as he keeps on wiping.

You hand the bread to him thinking why Seokjin could bother you this much even if you knew he was out of reach. It must have been the jokes, the charisma, the funny Mario socks? Nobody else around who was this cordial and dapper? Taehyung already impresses with just two sentences already. He picks the piece of bread from your hold like it was a paper-thin silk scarf. Indeed, he’s not as rogue as they make him out to be. It’s like life proceeds to flash before you, soaking in the little twinkle from his eyes while your arm retreats. Of course, you tip over the metal can of milk at the edge of the table, with Taehyung only managing to catch it at a moment’s notice. All inept movement has faded. He’s nimble with a dexterous grip on the can handle, steering it back to the middle of the table with caution. Not one drop wasted. Not very skilled? You’ll tell Heehee to go get himself a pair of glasses tomorrow. Taehyung accepts a second piece of bread from you and dips it into the soup, then eats it up.

Yeah. You want some of his bread. More than you can fit in your freaking backpack.

The tirade of both grandparents goes past your ears. “Thank you, Noona,” Taehyung munches on the bread with a treacherous smile. You can imagine how suave mischief like that doesn’t blend well with the ‘ideals’ in this area.

Cleaning the kitchen comes with ease when you stand perched at the narrow sink, scrubbing bowls with water from the buckets. Taehyung keeps on proving that he is very agile physically, hands deft and artful with the tableware. He doesn’t seem halfway disgusted either. You try to keep up adopting the technique, and you’re not bad at it. Yet it’s hard to concentrate with his naked shoulder brushing against yours every so often, although he apologizes every time. You talk about what brought you here, and Taehyung says it’s hard to describe in his own case. Something like digital detox, getting away from the smog of the west coast. He can’t stand the haughty, party-crazed people there. He heard about your transit journey, they talked at length about the letter. Surely nothing positive. But Taehyung won’t mention that.

Heehee releases you from work so you ask to go outside. “Hmph, just not too close to the cliffs.” - “We’re careful,” you say, beckoning Taehyung. He buttons up a blue shirt and follows you outside into the hot sun. “Glad to have you,” he murmurs, earning quite a nod. He knows you feel like that, too. “Are they really always weird like that?” you ask, making sure to pull your ponytail fast so the warm coastal wind won’t obscure the phenomenal sight of Kim Taehyung with strands of hair. “Depends,” he picks up some leaves from the ground and tucks them into his back pocket, “they can be disrespectful, but that’s the conduct here. Not that I particularly like it. But if you do your job, they’re okay. If something unexpected like this goes on, that’s not good.” - “Normally they’re more cheerful, right?” - “Quite often. Feels peculiar though, I agree they’re weird, weird in general. That��s just another generation and place. Maybe what I’ve been looking for as my escape. It’s medieval, kinda.”

No, 200,000 BC pretty much. That much is set in stone so far. No other breed of people could treat their assistant as lousy as they do. But the view is good in this epoch at least. Mount Halla thrones at the horizon while you cross the plateau and Taehyung guides you to an area where an actual small volcanic lake is. That would have been perky for your former plans. But with Taehyung, the game has changed to Heehee’s benefit. Your primitive urges have reoriented themselves quite, well. Naturally.

Taehyung sits down on the green hilltop pointing toward the lake. You spot a little waterfall and cave over there. He explains how it came to be, and how he likes to spend his evenings looking for similar places like this. It’s all documented in his book that he carries with him all the time, where he sticks in leaves and flowers. He sometimes looks out for horses and explores the oreums. That’s how the small volcanoes are called here. They’re defunct, and really tiny anyways. But they’re a lot, you passed about three or four on your walk to the waterfall.

The azure water becomes fuzzy as it comes down from the rocks, evaporating and leaving the entire surroundings in a slight blur. It’s refreshing. Taehyung is, too. You’ve searched the wildest clubs of Gwangju, Daejeon, and Gunsan for a face like this, attended every party at your university, and now you meet him in the outback at a farm, saying he hates party people? Life sure is an irony. Or it’s just what they meant by “everyone knows everyone” in the countryside. You appreciate someone more when new contacts are rare. Against the anonymous and shallow cities, this feels like the most intimate you’ve been with someone yet. Especially when he picks up what’s on your T-shirt. Taehyung likes the original series, too. Oh, hallelujah.

You both agree that Uhura is the absolute best. Competent, fast, and almost never causing any severe troubles. Sulu ranks as your second favorite, well, because he’s cool and gay. The third place causes a little disagreement. Taehyung says McCoy might be constantly angry but still a very capable doctor, with a critical eye and critical fixes. You think Scotty deserves the third place for always finding a way out, and just the fancy gear alone. In the end, neither of them wins the race. You simply approve of Chekov as the legitimate third and move on. At some point, it comes to discussing Kirk’s womanizing and how annoying it is wherever he goes. Sure, he’s a silver tongue, attractive, and really knows and utilizes that. But you say you like people who’re less sleek and peacocking around. Cute boys with mud on their face, coincidentally. You’re extra cheesy about it.

Taehyung gets a little shy, though not uneasy. His cheeks are more radiant than ever, making you want to touch them. Now that he cleaned his face, you wonder why they think he’s so hideous. Did he always walk around like that? Their standards must be different. He says he likes people who aren’t afraid to spill milk. Good one. You have to probe into that a bit further, and let him know some more bread would be tasty. It seems like a month of farmer work and lonesome fishing did the same to him as the exhausting summer trip did to you. Taehyung agrees that he could use some bread and milk to eat, too.

You open your ponytail again as to lie flat on the ground. The waterfall kicks up just the right background breeze and leaves Taehyung’s dark hair between your fingers dewy. His blue shirt is a dozen feet away, mingling with the Canola flowers. He bobs his head up and down to the beat of your heart, almost. Leaning back the meadow embraces your bare spine with herbage and other floral treasures that you couldn’t even pronounce if Yangsuk told you twice. Then all you see is the cornflower blue sky, flecked with clouds as fleecy as your bed in the hut. Though arguably, this is the better way to rest. Your legs are no longer on fire, but something way in between is. Unsurprisingly, it’s not the bogus medicine that helped.

Taehyung’s really going in now, with the tip of his nose and tongue alternating to excite you. His fingers are roughened at the tips and scratch at your waist by accident, but before he can make an upheaval and excuse himself for nothing, you direct his head back by the sides of his face, cheeks cupped. “Hey, hey, I didn’t mind,” you giggle, feeling Taehyung’s palms close around your thighs where they can’t wander up and down without a hassle. He’s getting creamy around the chin, dripping. The fluttering lashes against your pubes only make the tension even more unbearable, a pressure cooker ready to burst and go all up in flames. Taehyung sustains a decent rhythm of his tongue against your clit, gathering all excess saliva with the bottom lip. And it’s really getting a whole lot by now. Your body warms up to the sun when the familiar little twitches sneak their way into your core. Taehyung has to let go of your legs when they squeeze him in the middle, staying heckled until you finished cumming in his mouth. This is late dinner. He keeps his lips in slight motion, trying to swallow until a cum bubble pops at his nose. It’s an entire helter-skelter, but eventually, he chugs it all down. That’s what you call a vacation. Not even the most closeted pervert inside of you ever thought you could pull off some shit like this.

“The water’s safe?” you wonder, but Taehyung affirms it is loudly against the noise of the waterfall. The gauge is relatively low either way, coming up to the calves but not higher. You’re on shaky legs so he guides you in. He left his trousers at the water’s edge. And the book, too.

Once entering the cave, you note how many massive basaltic columns are situated all around. Taehyung props up half-sitting against one of the smaller ones protruding from the left wing of the cave. The echo is quite inaudible since the space is not terribly large contrary to what you believed. But still, his moans ricochet from the walls when you plump your lips on his cock. It’s not hard to squat down because the lake bed consists mainly of fine lava sand that molds easily around your feet, keeping them in place.

Your curls stick to your back wet and loose while more of Taehyung’s length goes between your teeth. It’s difficult not to grate alongside. You attach his hands at your lower jaw to hold it open, and that works for now. He tastes really, really good. Like syrup, wheat, oranges. Who knows what he has been doing with oranges, nights got lonely here. Good for him. Even better for you. It’s mouth-watering, so sweet. Your tongue works from below while you stuff him in further, breathing at his abdomen through your nose quite roughly. Now that you’ve shoved him down as far as you can, it’s time to fuck your mouth with the island’s prettiest cock. It’s hard to tamp down that you’ve got a nasty gag reflex in the way, but routinely detouring him to your cheek helps. There, you poke him at the outer corner of your lip or way back at the sides of your wisdom teeth, hearing how he winces in return. Kim. Taehyung.

You want him down your throat so bad. You didn’t climb 2,100 steps and currently live on a volcano for nothing. So you gather more spit around the downside of your tongue, press it upwards, and take him further inside as he slicks up. He cushions at the back of your throat with a sloppy cough. “Ah, don’t overexert yourself,” Taehyung lets go of your jaw to fumble at the nape of your neck. He seems to know what he’s doing because it lifts you right. The new tilt offers unknown space for him to slip into, fending off more delicious cock at your esophagus without the choking that you thought would come. You feel at your throat with your left hand, gagging in surprise at how much you’re bulging out. Taehyung isn’t particularly big, but yes, the fill is good and deep. It’s not a couple minutes in that he’s struggling not to leak inside of you. You won’t stop him though, you’ve been waiting to swallow up since he showed up at the door.

It’s a pity you can hardly taste him because he’s too far down when he overflows. So you pull back from his abdomen so his cock lays flat on your tongue. Taehyung presses his lips together whimpering. He’s losing it. The cum feels sweet and sour alike when you focus on the aftertaste, and a bit saline when it first drops down. Maybe you’re deluding yourself thinking he tastes a bit like tangerines. Your hands pick up the sand as you support yourself to stand up, also leaving traces in Taehyung’s face while you coat his tongue with semen. Now you spoiled it twice.

The evening sun is still enough to dry your hair before it sets, purple and crimson red. Taehyung recovers his book without a problem. The leaves inside are still where they were. The book has a large rubber band around it which keeps the binding in place. You pick a loose hair strand from your locks for him to put it between two pages. The blue shirt is quite far away from its initial place due to the wind, but it’s still intact. Heehee thankfully doesn’t ask any weird questions back at the hut. Instead, he keeps laughing at the fact that Taehyung is covered in sand — again. In fact, he disappears quite fast after instructing you. “You’ll both sleep there. We don’t have another bed, deal with it,” he just huffs while making adjustments to the hanging cauldron in the kitchen. “We take care of the cattle tomorrow. So wake up early when the sun gods get to work.” Taehyung snickers into your sleeve. He’s probably heard that every day. You already planned to exchange phone numbers when both of them went to bed in the other room. These are going to be the best five days of vacation you had so far.

Wednesday you go downtown to visit a lotus pond garden and get groceries. The sun is lenient this day. Finally, you can charge your phone and get some wifi. The stone steps are easy to master when he’s with you, and the conversation is fluent, as are the occasional kisses sweetening the climb-down. Of course, you buy things that aren’t on the shopping list with your money, and hide them at the bottom of your beloved backpack. That includes condoms if you still get another chance to fuck later, sellotape for Taehyung’s book, and some strawberries. The lube you’re skipping out on, he already makes you wet enough.

On the way back before lunch, your phone rings. The most disturbing noise for five days. “Incoming call — Kang Choa”. You feel like you have to catch up fast, the last days your mind has been set on anything but family. She excitedly confirms Seokjin having liked several of her Twitter pics in a row, and she slid right into his DMs. She can’t wait to go back to Gwangju for their first date, blah, she goes on raving and giving you too many details. She’s really happy beyond belief, and you think she should be. Not that you’re the one giving relationship approval seals. Everything turned out well with the ferry and the coast, your father just had a bit of fatigue. A reason to worry? Not really she says. They were only a bit worried because you were hard to reach on your phone. They’re happy to meet you for the cruise to Kagoshima now.

You leave in the evening knowing Japan will be hard. China, even harder. But you can’t let them cancel all bookings, you have to go. Heehee and Yangsuk have prepared extra bread for you to take for provision, and you leave them your Star Trek shirt as a little keepsake. You have roughly twenty-three others and they’re newer so one won’t hurt. Technically. You’re pretty sure Taehyung will get his hands on it anyways. Maybe to replace his oranges. That thought will keep you up all night.

Your grandparents still don’t get that Captain Kirk is purely fictional, but you’ll let them live with it. There’s no place where they can gossip about this supposed upcoming marriage you have. Maybe the spirits listen, but that’s about it. You do backpedal that anticipating an eruption was some rank ignorant nonsense. Hopefully, admitting to that will pacify the nature gods.

Taehyung will only stay for two weeks in Jeju until he returns to his hometown. Naju, he said. You’re relieved about that. It’s a 50-minute ride when the traffic’s average, 40 when the streets are less frequented. Taehyung knows he’ll have to give up his digital detox for the time coming.

Thank you for reading!

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checkoutafrica · 4 years ago

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Twitch; The Romantic Gangster

What a great time to be alive! Right now we are in the middle of a revolution, African music is slowly taking over and finally receiving the attention it deserves. Even in a pandemic, no one can stop greatness!

All eyes are on us but more recently, all eyes are on rising African star, Twitch, as he releases his highly anticipated debut EP, Lost. The Ghanaian singer and songwriter manages to mix elements of Afrobeats, RnB, and Pop to produce a sound he likes to refer to as Coastal Music and I have to say it’s quickly become one of my favourite sounds – his song chaskele has been on repeat non-stop since the release of Lost.

The punchy, four-track offering centred around the theme of “love”, Twitch shares: “It’s been a long time in the making. A lot of effort went into the music in this project. I wrote each song to capture the emotions I feel and hopefully leave a piece of me with every verse.” His EP for me is a true representation of what it means to be young and the emotions we feel as we transition from young people to actual adults, so many of us are lost in love and so many of us are lost in life trying to figure out the people that we truly want to be.

This is literally only the beginning for Twitch – there’s a lot more that the continent and global music community can expect from the 22-year-old in years to come and I can’t wait to see his career blossom!

View this post on Instagram

What song are you listening to?

A post shared by Twitch 4EVA (@twitch4eva) on Aug 13, 2020 at 3:58am PDT

When did you first discover your passion for music?

I’ve been singing since childhood, I grew with my grandmother, mom and little sister so we didn’t have electricity at the time and she didn’t want me going to a neighbours house or anywhere else really so she would teach us how to sing in parts. I’ve been singing since childhood, I was a choir director at my primary school and the secondary school too – I’ve always had this passion for music!

Would you say that your sound/ vibe has changed in any way from when you first started making music to now?

Yes because I started making music as a normal ling man who knew nothing about music. It was just me, my voice and vibes. Then when I met up with ground-up chale, that’s when things sort of changed – they’d give you songs to listen to and then they’ll nurture you – give you a couple of videos to look at, really help you move out of your comfort zone. I really think they’ve helped me to develop a lot as an artist. Then me, myself I listen to a lot of music, I’m always trying to better my sound- right now my favourite artist is Burna Boy. I feel like he talks to me all the time, as a musician, I would want to preach what he preaches as well, I feel like he says things that I would love to say but he makes it so perfect.

What would you say is your biggest achievement so far in your career?

When it comes to streams we’ve done well for quite some time because I think I’ve streamed more than a million on apple music, Spotify and youtube etc. I am very grateful for that, I’m still trying to connect people and bring them into my circle musically so I am doing that bit by bit.

View this post on Instagram

Really appreciate the love and support from you guys so far Chale. Pre add LOST EP by tapping the link in my bio

A post shared by Twitch 4EVA (@twitch4eva) on Jul 26, 2020 at 1:14pm PDT

How did you come up with the term coastal music to describe your sound?

Coastal music is more of like music, let’s say from Africa but mostly from ghana – so music from like highlife but at the same time I’m also trying to get influence by other parts of Africa as well, I listen to Nigerian music, South African music and I fuse it all together. So coastal music can be music that you listen to with your girlfriend in your room or music that you listen to at the beach, in the stadium, when you’re sober when you’re happy – it fits every mood and you can listen to it literally anywhere. It’s just vibes; mainly Ghanian but also fused with other parts of Africa.

Tell us more about your ep lost.

It’s called lost because I feel like I’m lost in love and then, on the other hand, I’m lost in life – when I say I’m lost in life, I feel like this applies to everyone because people don’t know the right or correct formula to be successful, everyone is just coasting through life trying their best not to mess up and find their own paradise.

Then I’m lost in love – I’ve been in certain relationships and it happens all the time that I end up broken-hearted and I don’t know what the problem is because I am a very emotional person and I try to love people a lot and it never ends well.

Lastly, like I mentioned before I grew up with my mom, grandma and little sister so me witnessing arguments between my mom and dad before my dad finally left her at the age of 6 made me realise that maybe sometimes love is not real but it still is real – the whole thing is so fucked up.

How would you yourself describe the feeling of being in love?

Being in love for me is being in a moment where you can’t think of ANYONE ELSE but your partner, you’ll be in a position where anything and everything you do, you’ll be thinking about that person 24/7 – you just think about that person all day every day, it’s like your brain just stops multitasking. That’s love.

View this post on Instagram

No Returning

A post shared by Twitch 4EVA (@twitch4eva) on Jun 4, 2020 at 12:20pm PDT

Which song from the ep holds the most significance in your life?

Every single one of them, I feel like I needed to say a lot but I was able to say enough on just 4 songs because if I had said everything, it would’ve been a whole album, you get me? I tried my possible best to say everything on those 4 tracks.

On the first song, I talk about the distance between my and my partner, at that time she wasn’t in the country but I was trying my absolute best to make her feel like I was with her and I don’t really give compliments in person, I’ve got this gangster thing about me so I put all my emotions in a song and be like “yo, just listen to this song, I’m trying to speak to you” I was trying to let her know that I’m always with her no matter the distance.

Then with the second song baby, at that point, I didn’t think about anyone else. It got to a point where even if she did wrong, I still didn’t have a problem with it, so I was just trying to exaggerate that I love her with that song.

The third song Chaskele, is when I was broken-hearted and I also drew inspiration from my mom and dad, my dad left when I was 6 and I didn’t understand the fact that my mum loved my dad so much and then they parted ways, I felt like I came into that position too when my partner left me.

Lastly, the fourth song on the EP which is dada and that’s me trying to motivate the youth and trying to tell everybody that you should know yourself and you should know the purpose that you’re meant to serve in life, once you know that, no one can ever lie to you because you’ll know your worth.

You call yourself a romantic gangster but not a romantic person, what do you mean by this?

Naturally I don’t talk too much and I am a very straight forward person, when I see you going wayward I will tell you directly and when I give out compliments I don’t say a lot so I feel like people don’t really feel it but I really do mean it, luckily for me, God has blessed me vocally so I’ll put all the vibes in a song and make you feel emotions through my music so you know what I’m trying to say.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for a girl?

I once travelled 6 hours to surprise a girl – I just texted her like “yo, what are you doing?” she was said she was in her room and I told her that I was in front of her gate. I didn’t even catch a flight, I was on the bus for 6 hours with my hoodie up because I didn’t want anyone to see me, I was just waiting patiently to meet her.

View this post on Instagram

4EVA @lelewan__

A post shared by Twitch 4EVA (@twitch4eva) on Apr 26, 2020 at 1:23pm PDT

What is your favourite thing about growing up in Ghana?

Ghana is a very beautiful country you know? Compared to other countries I feel like it’s very relaxed, there’s no pressure from what I see. This country allows you to sit and think about how you can be successful in life, there’s pressure but there’s no pressure – the love is more than the hate, no matter how gangster someone may appear they still love their people. So I love being Ghanian.

If you could collab with anyone dead or alive who would it be and why?

Dead I’d have to say Michael Jackson or Bob Marley for obvious reasons! And alive, without a doubt Burna Boy, him before anyone else.

Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?

In the next 10 years I see myself being the topic of African music!

View this post on Instagram

Have You Watched The Video for BABY yet?

Check link in my bio!

A post shared by Twitch 4EVA (@twitch4eva) on Aug 15, 2020 at 10:27am PDT

Listen to his EP lost Now;

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years ago

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Sanctuary - Chapter 34

Warnings: none really

Tag list: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @thorsbathroomchicken, @valkyrie-of-the-light, @innerpaperexpertcloud

I told @c-a-v-a-l-r-y I’d write a long story because she enjoys them and well, it is longer than I ever expected.

Here’s a face claim for Esme

She calls home; pacing the length of the balcony. She's anxious to hear the kids' animated stories of their daily adventures, their musical little girls, the way the name 'mommy' sounds when it comes out of their mouths. Being away from them is unbearable; she's spent years always putting their needs and their well being first, ignoring her own mental health struggles, always putting herself on the back burner. Being a mom is her greatest achievement; protecting, growing, and nurturing babies inside of her, devoting the last five years to making sure that they are well cared for and that they know they are loved. Many times they've been her only source of companionship and comfort; Tyler being away for weeks on end, throughout the coarse of an entire year. The bond she has with her children is incredibly strong. Indescribable. And she misses them terribly. With everything she is and everything she has.

“I miss you mommy,” as usual, Tanner is the last one that gets to talk to her. He is extremely sensitive and introspective. Loving his mother with a fierceness that can't be rivalled. A momma's boy, through and through. He'd been the smaller and the sicker of the twins; they'd arrived six weeks early and not without complications. And while TJ had been able go home after only a week, Tanner had remained in the NICU with a variety of problems, and she'd put in long hours by his side; Tyler having to concentrate on staying home to care for Millie and a newborn.

“I miss you too. Have you been a good boy? Grandma says you've been helping her out a lot. And that you've been really being strong and brave for your brother.”

“I'm trying to be good. I'm sad but I have to be happy for Teej and Millie. Sometimes it's really hard and I just want to cry.”

So much like his father in that respect. Always putting himself last in favour of being the strong, supportive one.

“It's okay to be sad,” she assures him. “Boys get sad too. Even daddy gets sad sometimes. And you know how tough and strong he is.”

“Daddy gets sad too?”

“Yup. Even the big and strong ones get sad once and a while. It makes him sad to be away from home. He doesn't like being away from you guys. It's really hard on him, even he doesn't like to admit it.”

“He misses us?”

“Of course he does. He misses you guys so much. You know how much he likes spending time with you guys. There's nothing he wouldn't do for you and your brothers and Millie. Doesn't he always try to spend as much time with you as possible when he's home? Doesn't he always tell you how much you loves you?”

“Always,” Tanner confirms.

“He's sad when he's away from you all. He just wants to be home. As much as possible. But sometimes...”

“He has to go away. To work.”

“Every once in a while,” she says. “But he doesn't really want to go. He'd rather be home. But sometimes people need his help and he has to go and give it to them.”

“Like the kids that were taken away?”

“Yup. And sometimes teenagers. And sometimes adults. People need his help and he goes.”

“He gets people away from bad guys,” Tanner sounds both intrigued and excited about the idea.

“Exactly.”

“Because he's really brave, right?”

“Yes,” she smiles. “He is. Even if he denies it. I need you to promise you'll be good. You keep helping grandma out. And your brother. But remember,it doesn't mean that you can't be sad or that you can't cry if you need to, okay? Daddy would tell you the same thing. We'll be home soon, okay? We both love you so much.”

“I love you, mommy. Tell daddy I love him too, 'kay?”

“I promise I will. Let me talk to grandma, okay?

“Okay...” there's rustling on the other end as the phone is placed on the kitchen counter, and she hear the smacking of his bare feet against the floor, the patio door behind thrown open, and then a bellowing of: “Grammie!! Mommy wants to talk to you!”

Esme sits on one of the plastic chairs, picking up the mug of tea that Yaz had brought her earlier, sipping gingerly at it as she waits for her mother to retrieve the phone. Inside, the doctor that Nik had sent is tending to Tyler, while Yaz and Mark hang around in case they're needed. It's been a hell of day; not even noon hour and she feels as if it should be midnight already. She's exhausted: mentally and physically. Still wearing the same clothes as earlier; covered in dirty and Tyler's blood and sweat. She needs a shower. Food. Sleep. And the 'date' with William Flynn still looms on the horizon. She wants to stay in; curled up in bed with her husband, feeling his heart beating against her, listening to him breathe. Comforted in the fact that he's still alive.

“Just so you know,” her mother says in way of greeting. “I don't normally let them stay up this late, but we're having and Ovi got them some sparklers and...”

“Mom...” she gets that single word out through a choked sob, then completely breaks down. The tears that flow are hot and vicious, and she struggles to get words out as she gulps for air. Leaving out all the various twists and turn and gory details, but delving into what they'd found that morning, how everything had gone terribly wrong in the blink of an eye. “Seeing him like that. I brought it all back. Dhaka. The bridge. It brought it all back and for five and a half years it's been leaving me alone.”

“Esme...honey...take a breath...”

“My brain knows it's nowhere near as bad. There's nothing life threatening. He'll be okay. But seeing him like that...all the blood....it was like I was right back there again. On that bridge. When will it end? When will it just leave me alone for good?”

“Honey child...” her mother sighs heavily. “...take a breath...he's fine. You just said it's nowhere near as serious.”

“It doesn't mean it makes it any easier. That I like seeing him like that. He's my husband, mom. He's the love of my life. The father of my children.”

“Esme, you knew what you were getting into. When you stayed in Australia to be with him. When you gave up your entire existence for him. You knew what kind of life he led.”

“I thought it would be behind him. Behind us. I thought once he healed and got back on his feet, this all wouldn't be part of his life anymore.”

“And then he went back,” her mom reminds her. “Without even telling you. And he brought you right back into it along with him. Esme, you must be able to see why that bothers me. Why I think it was selfish of him. You already had a baby girl, and you were pregnant with twins and having complications, and he still went back. Without even consulting you! That's selfish, honey, and you know it is. It was a terrible thing for him to do. If he wanted that life so badly, he should have just cut you loose. You and Amelia. You could have raised her on your own, and your step dad and I could have helped you through your pregnancy with the twins. Tyler could have just taken you to court and fought for visitation and paid child support.”

“Mom, what the fuck?! That was never an option. I wasn't going to leave him. Why would I do that? Why...?”

“Esme, your love can't save him when he's that hell bent on killing himself.”

“He's not that person any more,” she argues. “He's not that Tyler. The one with the death wish. The one with nothing to lose.”

“Then why does he still do it? Why does he keep putting himself at risk when he has a wife and children at home that love him and depend on him? Is it really worth the risk? You have to think long and hard about this, sweetheart. About this life. About him. Because if you stay with him, this is what's always going be like. He is always going to be running off and leaving you and the kids. And you're always going to be wondering if he's going to come back alive or dead. Is that really what you want? The kind of life? You deserve better. And so do my grandchildren.”

“Mom, leaving him is not an option that's on the table. It never has been. So...”

“I know you love him. I know he loves you. But sometimes, no matter how much two people love each other, it's just not healthy for them to be together. Is this really what you want the rest of your life to be like? Raising kids on your own while he's running off to save the world? He's a human being, Esme. He's not invincible. One day he's going to leave and he's not going to make it back. Are you really prepared for when that happens? Because if he keeps living this life, it will happen. And you'll be left four children to raise and all the pieces to pick up on your own.”

“We are not having this conversation, mom. You are not saying these things to me. Why are you saying them to me the first place?”

“Because you need to hear them. This is tough love, Esme. And if your father was here...”

“Well he's not. He's not here. He hasn't been here since I was seventeen.”

“...he would tell you the same thing. He wouldn't want you living like this. He wouldn't want you putting all your trust and all your faith and all your love into a man that isn't capable of giving any of that back to you.”

“You don't even know him, mom. You've spent five and a half years hating him. And now you think you know how he feels? You think you know what goes inside of his head?”

“I didn't hate him, Esme. I hated what he put you through. I hated that he took you away from your home and put all that burden on you...”

“He wasn't a burden. He saved my life. Not just in Dhaka. But in other ways too.”

“So you stayed because you felt you owed him? Do you realize how unhealthy that sounds?”

“I stayed because I was in love with him. And he needed me. I wasn't going to leave him. Not on the bridge, not in the hospital. I stayed there because I wanted to be there. I wanted to be with him.”

“You weren't in love with him, hun. Don't fool yourself. You were in love with the idea of him. He wandered into your life and swept you off your feet and you fell in love with the idea of what it would be like to be with someone like him. Tall, good looking, the body...”

“Mom, you have no idea what you're talking about. You have no idea what attracted me to Tyler or what went on during those five days and...”

“Exactly. It was five days. You spent five days with him, probably in his bed, and just happened to fall in love that quickly? That's a load of shit, Esme, and you know it. You loved the idea of him. The kind of life he could give you...”

“He lived in a fucking shack in the outback with a dog and a chicken! He barely had a life to give me! What the hell are you talking about? Tyler had nothing when I met him. What he could give me? I didn't want anything. I just wanted him.”

“So you fel in love with the aesthetic of him.”

“Oh my god,” she gives a snort. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Esme, he's very attractive, he has that body, those eyes, that voice...”

“I can not believe I am listening to this!”

“I can see how you fooled yourself into thinking you were in love with him. You were smitten with him. But it wasn't love. And you know it wasn't. Maybe it turned into love. Maybe the two of you fell in love with each other during the coarse of a few months or a year, but it was not love that made you stay. You wanted to escape. You hated your life. And he gave you the chance to get away from it.”

“That is not why I stayed,” she hisses.

“You need to sit back and think long and hard about the decisions you've made, young lady. Why you did the things you did. I don't deny that you love him now. Or that he loves you. I know he does. But five and a half years ago? That was not love. And do we even need to get into the fact that he knocked you up?”

“Do you have to be so crude about it? Your granddaughter came out of that.”

“And she's beautiful and I love her. But it doesn't hide the fact that you and Tyler were complete strangers when you fell into bed with one another and neither of you thought be safe about it. It was a mistake, Esme.”

“Millie is not a mistake,” the tears threaten once again. “She wasn't planned, but she was wanted. I even gave him an option. I told him I'd leave and never contact him again if he didn't want the baby. He wanted her. I wanted her. Just because she wasn't planned does not mean she was a mistake.”

“And like I said, she's a beautiful, amazing little girl. And we're all blessed to have her. But it doesn't change how she ended up here.”

“And you think the twins were planned? Do you want the details on how they came along? How they were conceived? We didn't use anything because we didn't think I could get pregnant that soon. And how about Declan? I was on the pill with him and we still conceived him. So you're saying all your grandchildren are mistakes because they weren't planned?”

“That is not what I'm saying at all. You were married when they came along.”

“So what you're pissed about is that we made Millie out of wedlock? Are you serious, mom? That is what you're upset about? The fact Tyler and I had premarital sex and he got me pregnant? Spare me your moral superiority. Don't be acting all high and mighty with me when you were fucking the mailman and the pastor while still married to dad!”

“Esme!” her mother snaps. “What are you...?”

“You didn't think I knew, did you. Oh I know, mom. I know all your dirty little secrets. Word travels fast in a small town. It gets back to you when your mom is the town whore!”

“Esme Michelle, you don't ever speak to me that way. You...”

“I am done with this conversation. I want you out of my house, mom. I want you to pack your shit and leave. When I call tomorrow, you better not still be there.”

“You'd hurt the kids like that? Take me out of their lives and hurt them like that?”

“They'll deal. They have Ovi and Chloe and Nik. They'll be fine. Just get your shit and get out of my house. Now!” she abruptly disconnects the call, then tosses the cell phone down with enough force that it bounces off the tables, hits the ground and send the battery one direction and the body of the phone in the other.

*****

“Bad time to bother you?” Mark asks sheepishly, as he stands on the track for the sliding door.

“It's always a bad time to bother me. Did you not learn anything being married to me? Did you not realize quickly that I'm a raging bitch?”

“It wasn't enough to scare me away,” he grins, and then gathers up the pieces of the phone and snaps them together. “You okay?”

“No. I'm not. I just had the most wonderful conversation with my mother that could not have gone any better if I tried.”

“You know,” he holds the phone out to her. “She does love you.”

“She has a hell of a way of showing it.”

“She worries about you. You're her first girl. She wasn't very happy. When you decided to ditch your old life for a new one in Australia.”

“Mark...” she groans. “...it is none of your goddamn business what I do with my life. Just like it's none of hers. I'm a big girl, I make my own decisions. I do what I want and who I want. So if you're out there to promote her agenda....”

“I'm not. I'm just out there to check on you. And tell you what the doctor said.”

“Is he alive? Is he going to live long enough for me to smother him in his sleep because of his fucking 'save the world' bullshit? Because I am so sick of it, Mark. I'm tired of this life. I'm tired of him taking on the weight of other peoples' problems and it causing a whole lot of problems for us. I'm tired of watching him walk out the front door and worrying about whether or not he's going to walk back in. I'm tired of loving someone so much it is physically painful sometimes.”

“That's not a bad thing,” he says, and takes a seat on the chair next to her. “Loving someone that much.”

“I just want this stop. I need it to come to an end. I need him to realize that enough is enough and that it's time to leave it behind. I need him to realize that I need him and his kids need him and our lives are better with him in it.”

“Have you actually told him all that, or...?”

“Tons of times. I'm always trying to get through that thick fucking head of his! But he's so stubborn and he's still got these walls up that I can't seem to get past no matter how hard I try. And I know he doesn't realize that he's doing it and that he's shutting me out, but it drives me insane.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe he's too afraid to let those last walls down? That those are the only ones left protecting him?”

“Protecting him from what? We've been married for almost six years. We have four kids together. What does he need to protect himself from?”

“Losing you. He's terrified of that, you know. Of something happening to you.”

She sighs.

“Esme, you have him a second chance at life. You gave him a reason to keep going. You saved him just as much as he saved you. And he's scared. I know he is. He's scared of something happening to you. Of trying to figure out life without you. Especially a life with four kids. I know he's a bad ass. Believe me, I know. But he's also a human being. A human being that happens to love you to the ends of the earth. He is legitimately terrified of something happening to you.”

“He told you all this?”

“Not in so many words. He's not the most talkative guy.”

“You think?” she scoffs.

“But from what he did tell, he's worried. And he's scared. That's why he is the way he is. Protective. To a fault. He's afraid if he doesn't, something will happen to you, and then he'll spend the rest of his life hating himself for it. Cut the guy some slack, would you? He's been through a hell of a lot. Things we can't even begin to imagine. Well maybe you can because you saw it happen and you were there afterwards while he was in the hospital...”

“I don't want to talk about this, Mark. I do not want to talk about what happened in Dhaka. I don't want to talk about when he was in the hospital. I just can't talk about it, okay? It's too hard. Even now.”

“Fair enough,” he says, and holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Other than your mom, are you okay?”

“I've been better. I'm still a little freaked out. I don't know how things went bad so fast. And why do they always need to go to shit in the first place? Why can't a job go nice and smooth for just once?”

“Nature of the beast I guess. If it makes you feel better, he's going to be okay.”

“Tyler's level of okay is not the same as a normal person's level of okay. Okay to Tyler is only getting shot twice instead of three times. So...”

“Got a concussion, busted nose, needed fourteen stitches to close the gash in his head, black eye, knuckles are all busted to shit. Separated right shoulder. Doctor reset it. ”

“Oh so it's basically just a normal day for him.”

Mark laughs. “I take it you're use to this.”

“You have no idea. The shit I have seen happen to this man and have him turn around and just walk it off? It's insane. He's a freak of nature. Maybe even a cyborg. I really don't know. But he just keeps getting back up and back into the game. I wish he wouldn't, but...”

“Get up or get back in the game?”

“Obviously get back in the game. I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be like without him. How empty and miserable it would be. I've spent five and a half years with him. He's not just my husband and the father of my kids, he's my best friend. And my life would completely suck without him in it.”

Mark just nods.

“I'm sorry. If me admitting all that hurts your feelings. If you're still holding onto something.”

“It is what it is, Esme. I fucked up. And you went on with your life. I didn't expect you to get on with it so soon, mind you.”

“So soon? We hadn't been together for four years. That isn't soon. And need I remind you that you couldn't keep your dick in your pants for the entire time we were married? Yet you're upset I met Tyler four years later? Like...what?” she can't help but laugh.

“How did you meet him anyway? Your mom said it was a business trip, but I highly doubt that's the whole truth.”

“We met through Nik. She needed someone to fill a spot on her team and I wanted to branch out from just doing North America stuff. So she took me on and the Dhaka job came up and that's how Tyler and I ended up running into each other. I did meet him in Australia. That part is true. Nik took me there, to his place, because she had a job that she needed us to work together on. He lived in this little shack in the outback. With a dog. And a chicken. Bathroom chicken.”

“Bathroom chicken? What...?”

“When I walked in, the chicken was sitting on the edge of the tub. My first words to Tyler were 'there's a chicken in your bathroom'. Now does that not spark romance or what?”

Mark chuckles.

“Are you sure you want to hear this? Because I know we've had our issues, but I don't want to hurt your feelings by making your listen to this.”

“You're not making me listen to anything. I asked. It's okay. Go ahead.”

“He was so different than anyone I'd ever met before. He was mysterious. Sullen. Troubled. And he had this edge to him that I couldn't quite explain. There was something about him that was so intriguing. That I couldn't look away from. Not to mention insanely buff and absurdly tall, but that's neither here nor there. There was just something about him. I don't even know what it was or how to even describe it. I just...felt it.”

“And the job?”

“We had to pretend we were newlyweds. That we were in Dhaka because we chose humanitarian work over a normal, traditional honeymoon. And it worked. Shockingly well. Until it didn't. Things went bad. They went so bad, Mark. And it happened so fast. Tyler and I were the only two from the team that survived. We got separated. In the forest. I'd gone ahead to meet the other team members and he was supposed to get Ovi and meet up with us. Only that never happened. I had to hide in that goddamn forest for hours until things calmed down. Then I had to walk back into town and meet up with Tyler and Ovi. It was insane. The whole thing. From beginning to end. So many times that day I didn't think I was ever getting out of Dhaka. At least not alive.”

“But you did. Make it out. Alive.”

She nods. “Tyler made sure of it. That Ovi and I got across the bridge. It's a long story and one I do not like to relive. But we got across and he didn't and...” emotions chokes at her, and she rubs the palms of her hands against the sides of her mug. “...he almost died. In my arms. On that bridge. And it was...it is...the most horrible thing I've ever had to see in my entire life.”

“Esme...I am so sorry. That you had to go through that. That you had to see that.”

“It was the worst thing I have ever seen. In the corps, I could turn off my emotions. When we went overseas and we saw death and destruction all around us, eventually you become desensitized to it. It didn't bother me after all. It was part of the job. But that...on the bridge...” she swipes at a tear as it trickles down her cheek. “...I will never forget that. As long as I live. Every time I see that scar on his neck, it's like it happened yesterday. I can't get it out of my mind. No matter how hard I try. Will it ever go away? Will it ever get better?”

“It will get better,” Mark assures her. “One day it won't bother you at all. When you see that scar. And you won't even realize that it stopped bothering you. But you won't ever forget it, Esme. How could you? I mean, you were involved with the guy at the time. He wasn't some stranger off the street. You two had...I don't...something...between you. And you kept him alive. He was bleeding out and you actually kept him on this side of the ground. That's pretty fucking amazing. It really is.”

“He would have done the same for me. I know he would have. I mean, he sacrificed himself to get Ovi and I across the bridge. If something had have happened to me, I know he would have fought just as hard to keep me going. It's just...” she sighs. “...can we stop talking about this? Some days I'm fine with it and some days I just do it.”

“It's okay,” he lays a comforting hand on her back. “I get it. I do. He's lucky to have you, you know. You stuck around. Not just on that bridge, but in that hospital. You didn't have to stay and you did. And that's pretty damn admirable.”

“It's really not. I did what anyone would do.”

“Most people would have gotten the hell out of there and never looked back. But you hung in there. And you keep hanging in there. It can't be easy. Being with a guy like that.”

She frowns. “A guy like that?”

“The way he is. With his issues. I mean, he's got some serious shit going on up in his head and...

“He has PTSD, Mark. He's not crazy. You'd have it too you if you lived through what he did. You know, you started out so well. You had me convinced that you actually wanted to hear about Tyler and I. That maybe you'd turned over a new leaf and you actually gave a shit about other people. But you just turn around and remind me that you're still the same asshole you've always been.”

“Did he tell you he nearly killed McMann yesterday? That he absolutely snapped and nearly choked the guy out?”

“Actually, he did. Right after he told me he swallowed his pride and asked you...of all goddamn people...for help. So if you're trying to take a cheap shot at his expense, it won't work.”

“He went fucking loco, Esme. Like right off the reservation. How do you handle that? Does he do that at home too? With you and the kids?”

“You're reaching, Mark. Like desperately reaching. Tyler has never...ever...lost it like that on me or the kids.”

“How do you know he won't?”

“Because I know him. He's different when he's not on the job. You're seeing work Tyler. He's not like that at home. He's more relaxed. He doesn't carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He's happy. He's not the Tyler he is right now.”

“If he's got PTSD, it could lead to that one day. Where he does snap at home. On you and the kids.”

“Mark, you are walking on very thin ice here. I appreciate what you did yesterday. I really do. I was worried about him going alone and you stepped up to help him out. And it's a good thing you were there to stop him from killing McMann. Because we need that asshole alive. But if you're looking for me to pin a medal on you or something...”

“I just worry about you,” he reasons. “That's all.”

“Funny, it takes me being married to another man to get you to care about me. Because you sure as shit didn't care when we were together.”

“We had our issues. I'm not denying that.”

She gives a derisive snort.

“But I am not the only one to blame for everything that happened. You know what you're like.”

“What am I like, Mark? Enlighten me. Tell me what I'm like.”

“You're argumentative. Confrontational. Assertive. Aggressive.”

She smirks. “Only weak men are intimidated by assertive women.”

“See? That right there. The smart ass comments. That's another thing. How the fuck does he put up with you?”

“He's not a pussy like you are. He likes a challenge.”

“Wouldn't be surprised if you're part of the reason he's so...you know...batshit crazy.”

“Mark, that is my husband you're talking about. So if you want to keep all of your teeth, I suggest you don't say another word. Because I'm all out of both patience and fucks right about now and I will not hesitate knocking you the fuck out.”

“Uhhh...Esme...” Yaz pokes his head out the door. “...the doctor's gone and he said there won't be a bill or anything. I guess he owes Nik a favour. He wrote a couple of prescriptions so I'm going to go and find a pharmacy and get them filled.”

“Yaz, you're the best,” she gives him a glowing smile. “You're the real MVP on this team.”

“About time someone noticed and aknowledged it,” he grins. “And the doc told Tyler to take a shower and get clean up. All the blood and the dirt could cause infection. But he's still a little woozy and I don't want him falling and cracking his head open. So...”

“Yaz, you've shared a public bathroom with him before I'm sure. It's nothing you haven't seen.”

“Yeah, well, I'd rather not see it, know what I mean? And he won't let me near him anyway. He's really stubborn.”

“You're just realizing that now? After what? Eight years of knowing him?”

“Well he can't take a shower alone in case he passes out or whatever and I told him that so he said to come get you because you're used to seeing his...you know...”

She smirks, standing up and stretching. “Junk? Afraid you'll get penis envy?”

“...and you had to do to this kind of thing before after Dhaka, so...”

“I'm going...I'm going...” she mutters. “Fucking men. If I'd decided to stick to just girls, I would not be going through this horseshit right now. And Yaz...” she stands on her tip toes and presses a kiss to his cheek. “...thank you. You're an awesome friend.”

“Nothing I wouldn't do for you guys, you know that.”

“And Mark...” she pauses in the threshold, glaring at him. “...don't be here when I get back.”

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #chris hemsworth character #extraction #sanctuary

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wolfram-viral-lamb · 2 years ago

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The thing about these people are that their parents treat them the same way they treat others. My mom has a story of how her father went up in church and held up a picture of her baby or was supposedly her baby and told the church,look at how gullible my daughter is after she had birth and had a baby I showed her this picture and told her I took the picture and that that was her baby in fact I actually ripped it out of a magazine and framed it that's how gullible my daughter is.. she actually found out right then in church. At that level of parental trust my grandpa would have had to have experience a similar trust broken because it is a learned behavior. and I know my mom did the same to me.it's autism to borderline personality disorder to narcissism in my family's case. How you treat your kids really dictates how they will treat others. And hope God they learn love and kindness and respect from someone. Be it a figure they looked up to or another person in their life. One time my parents had their first baby die a few days after his birth because of a heart defect my grandma came into the room and handed him a baby when they came and visited and called him his child's name.... it was a fake doll.. she was enjoying getting a reaction...pure narcissist. I'm lucky that my autistic interests led me down a path to fanfiction where I learned coping skills and how to truly treat the people you love. Along with having great mentors like Steve Irwin and Jenna marbles. It truly taught me a sort of self love that made it so I could start teaching my siblings how to love themselves and that has been my goal with my nieces as well. A little too much p*** though for a 14 year old on Tumblr. But then again maybe that was good because it taught me a sex education and the ability to understand sexual right from wrong. Which I definitely needed for my household that I grew up with.I definitely was exposed to a lot of toxic behaviors online and offline but I always went about trying to nurture myself so that I could nurture my sister's my boi's and my non-binary pals. 💋 My little sis mostly. I even got to name her it's really one of her middle names but she loves it and uses it as her main name.💞 I love my 2 sisters I love that I learned to love myself. I don't want kids but I want the people around me to feel safe in their own body's. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're pretty and handsome like you were talking to your best pal your dog. Because it's true just as we can love every dog face we can love our own faces life is wonderful after all it has its ups and downs forever but those UPS are what keeps the story going. I would have missed a lot of good things in my life like my soulmate dog spok who taught me boundaries and how to enjoy myself without the expectations of other people. Or a work Buddy that taught me self love and to expect good from the people around me and don't tolerate the bad. he taught me that there are actual cool people out there. He helped teach me to hope for a future outside of fiction and to not just follow along with people in life.To question and heal is hard but worth it.

on trust and manipulation

Back in early high school, I knew a girl - we were kinda friends by virtue of having multiple friends in common, but in hindsight, she never much liked me - who had this purebred dog. I’d met him at her place, and he wasn’t desexed, which was pretty unusual in my experience, so it stuck in the memory. And one day, as we were walking across the playground, this girl - I’ll call her Felice - said to me, “Hey, so we’re going to start using my dog as a stud.” And I’m like, Oh? And she’s like, “Yeah, we’ve been talking to breeders, we’re going to get to see his puppies and everything,” and I made interested noises because that actually sounded pretty interesting, and she went on a little bit more about how it would all work -

And then, out of nowhere, she swapped this sly look with another girl, burst out laughing and exclaimed, “God, you’re so gullible. I literally just made that up. You’ll believe anything!”

And I was just. Dumbfounded. Because I was standing there, staring at them, and they were laughing like I was an idiot, like they’d pulled this massive trick on me, and all I could think, apart from why the fuck they felt moved to do this in the first place, was that neither of them knew what gullible means. Like, literally nothing in that story was implausible! I knew she had an undesexed, male, purebred dog! It made total sense that he be used for a stud! And it wasn’t like I was getting this information from a second party - the person who actually owned the dog was telling me herself! And I felt so immensely frustrated, because they both walked off before I could figure out how to articulate that gullible means taking something unlikely or impossible at face value, whereas Felice had told me a very plausible lie, and while the end result in both cases is that the believer is tricked, the difference was that I wasn’t actually being stupid. Rather, Felice had manipulated the fact that she occupied a position of relative social trust - meaning, I didn’t have any reason to expect her to lie to me - to try and make me feel stupid.

Which, thinking back, was kind of par for the course with Felice. On another occasion, as our group was walking from Point A to Point B, I felt a tugging jostle on my school bag. I didn’t turn around, because I knew my friends were behind me, and my bag was often half-zipped - I figured someone was just shoving something back in that had fallen out, or had grabbed it in passing as they horsed around. Instead, Felice steps up beside me, grinning, and hands me my wallet, which she’d just pulled out, and tells me how oblivious I was for not noticing that she’d been rifling my bag, and how I ought to pay more attention. This was not done playfully: the clear intent, again, was to make me feel stupid for trusting that my friends - which, in that context, included her - weren’t going to fuck with me. As before, I couldn’t explain this to her, and she walked on, pleased with herself, before I could try.

The worst time, though, was when I came back from the canteen at lunch one day, and Felice, again backed up by another girl, told me that my dad had showed up on campus looking for me. By this time, you’d think I’d have cottoned on to her particular way of fucking with me, but I hadn’t, and my dad worked close enough to the school that he really could’ve stopped in. So I believed her, a strange little lurch in my stomach that I couldn’t quite place, and asked where he was. She said he’d gone looking for me elsewhere, at another building where we sometimes sat, and so I hurried off to look for him, feeling more and more anxious as I wondered why he might be there.

I was halfway across campus before I let myself remember that my mother was in hospital.

I felt physically sick. My pulse went through the roof; I couldn’t think of a reason why my dad would be at school looking for me that didn’t mean something terrible had happened to my mother, that her surgery had gone wrong, that she was sick or hurt or dying. And when my dad wasn’t where she’d said he would be, I hurried back to Felice - who was now sitting with half our mutual group of friends - only to be met with laughter. She called me gullible again, and that time, I snapped. I chased her down and punched her, and the friends who’d only just arrived, who didn’t know what had happened or why I was reacting like that, instantly took her side. Noises were made about telling the rest of our friends what I’d done, and I didn’t want them to hear Felice’s version first, so I ran off to the library, where I knew they were, to tell them first.

I walked into the library. I found our other friends. I was shaky and red-faced, and they asked me what had happened. I told them what Felice had done, that I’d hit her for it, that my mother was in hospital for an operation - something I’d mentioned in passing over the previous week; multiple people nodded in recognition - and how I’d thought Felice’s lie meant that something bad had happened. And then I burst into tears, something I almost never did, because it wasn’t until I said it out loud that I realised how genuinely frightened I’d been. I sat down at the table and cried, and a girl - I’ll call her Laurel - who I’d never really been close to - who was, in fact, much better friends with Felice than with me - put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me, volubly furious on my behalf.

And then the other girls showed up, and Laurel said, with that particular vicious sincerity that only twelve-year-olds can really muster, “Prepare to die, Felice,” and I almost wanted to laugh, but didn’t. A girl who was a close friend, who’d come in with Felice, took her side, outraged that I’d punched someone, until Laurel spoke up about my mother being in hospital, and everyone went really quiet. Which was when I remembered, also belatedly, that Laurel’s own mother was dead; had died of cancer several years previously, which explained why she of all people was so angry. I have a vivid memory of the look on Felice’s face, how she tried to play it off - she said she hadn’t known about my mother, I pointed out that I’d mentioned it multiple times at lunch that week, and she lost all high ground with everyone.

Felice never played a trick on me again.

Eighteen years later, I still think about these incidents, not because I’m bearing some outdated grudge, but because they’re a good example of three important principles: one, that even with seemingly benign pranks, there’s a difference between acting with friendly or malicious intent; two, that ignorance of context can have a profound effect on the outcome regardless of what you meant; and three, that getting hurt by people who abuse your trust doesn’t make you gullible - it means you’re being betrayed.

And I feel like this is information worth sharing.

#be a mentor #love yourselves

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allisonreader · 5 years ago

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Midnight Musings Over Losing My Grandma and Grandmother Figure

I lost my grandmother figure during this quarantine time period...

She did not directly die because of Covid-19. She died from a massive stroke at the age of 92.

My mom believes that it was partly because she was lonely. She was an incredibly social woman, who had a big heart and was intensely family oriented......

I only knew one of my grandmothers.

My maternal grandmother died of breast cancer when my mom was 21.

My paternal grandmother died from lung cancer when I was 14. After a lifetime of smoking and working in a factory with asbestos.

We weren’t close and the only real memories I have of her, is of our last hug, (long and awkward, only happening because she knew her time was coming to an end), the other being one rare time when she and my grandpa came to visit and she bought me gloves and being in my grandparents kitchen and spitting out the red Koolaid that my grandma made because the water where they lived tasted horrible.

It’s sad to say, but I do not miss her.

The only tears I really shed were almost forced, because it should be sad that my grandmother died? Isn’t it?

I ended up wearing a pale pink dress to her funeral, since my mom forgot to bring a black shirt and ended up stealing mine.

I felt very odd wearing pink to a funeral, but it was the only other formal thing I had since we live hours away from my grandparents.

Anyways, a bit off point there vaguely as that’s just to show that I truly didn’t have the best grandmother.

Now my grandmother figure on the other hand, was the epitome of what you think of a grandmother. Loving, nurturing, caring and overall a wonderful lady.

I honestly believe I have MORE memories of her, and better ones.

When I got the news of her stroke, I cried. I cried more than I did at my grandma's funeral.

I, like so many other people during this time, do not get to go to a funeral or a memorial for my loved one.

And I very much loved her as the grandmother I never had.

I had always expected to get to go to her funeral. And as macabre as it might sound, I looked forward to her funeral.

Not in the way that I wanted her dead, but that I would get to be there as we one day remembered her life and took comfort in the fact that she is with the Lord now.

I had half hoped that she would have lived long enough for me to invite her to see me get married one day, which certainly won’t happen now.

My grandmother figure, who I'm going to call Granny from here on out, while not directly related, is related through marriage.

Granny was my one uncle's mother-in-law. My mom’s, brother’s, wife’s mother. My cousins' grandmother.

She was always around my uncle and aunt's place during holidays and just in general. I probably saw more of Granny than I did of my grandmother.

Two of my favourite memories, and two of the strongest of her, are of a long hug where she told me that she loved me.

It was a just in case we don’t see each other in this life again hug.

It, I believe, was not the last time we saw each other, but it was so different from the same type of hug my own grandmother gave me. This one I didn’t want to leave and during the hug I soaked it up and enjoyed it.

Even just writing about it, I had to stop and cry. My throat is still tight with tears wanting to break free.

The other memory that means so much to me, is the most grandmotherly experience I have ever had, and I’m ready to cry again.

....

I had to take a short break to sort of get my emotions a little more under control again.

What had happened is that I had take my mom to the hospital in the city that Granny lived in, because of a doctor with a specialty that was only offered there in the province.

So, before I went home, I got to go have lunch with Granny, my cousin and her cousin. In total there were four of us.

Granny, her two official granddaughters and me, an unofficial granddaughter.

It was a wonderful Friday lunch, a meal more reminiscent of something I’d eat for supper than lunch unless it was leftovers.

We sat and we talked and it was absolutely amazing.

She offered us seconds; and to me, it felt like something straight off of tv.

Before we all left, she made sure to give us each a hug.

Not once do I remember my grandmother ever taking the amount of time or effort to have such a pleasant meal together.

I have always seen Granny as more of a grandmother as she always treated us as grandkids. She was always happy to see us and it was always clear that, that was the case.

Her husband has been gone for many years, over 20, and while I don’t remember him much, he was much the same way she was.

His is vaguely the first funeral I remember going to.

In a way, that stings a little.

I can vaguely remember being at his funeral, it being before my brothers were born, but I won’t get to go to a funeral for Granny.

....

This past April was a bit of a hard month.

First I had the what felt like a near death snow spin out and nearly a week later I got the news about Granny’s stroke and then her passing the next day.

The news of the day stroke breaking on Easter Sunday.

I will always remember Granny fondly and with all the love that she shared with me and my family.

She was a blessing and someone I can’t thank God enough for putting in our lives to show us the love and the way grandmothers should be.

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canyouhearthelight · 5 years ago

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The Miys, Ch. 41

Time for Maverick to meet Conor! I’ll be honest, the initial meeting was not what you think it will be. Honestly, it wasn’t what I expected, but I can’t always control them...

Maverick decided to hang around for a while and keep me company. To be honest, I was more than a little grateful for it – after the unexpected heart-to-heart, I was feeling a little too raw to be alone. The conversation quickly turned to much lighter topics, such as my plants and the history of black cats in my family. He told me about how he became a pilot, and about his life Before in return. I was sitting in the general living area of my quarters, telling Maverick about how I fell in love with cooking, when Conor arrived after his shift.

Still sweating and stinking – nothing new, he usually came directly to my quarters and showered there – he scooped me into a fragrant hug before holding me at arm’s length. “How did it go? Did you meet with Grandma Kim?” His head snapped up to look behind me right as I heard Maverick stand from where he had been on the couch.

“Sophia, are you okay?” Maverick asked cautiously.

“Who the feck are you?” Conor asked with a glare.

“This is Maverick, the pilot who was on Level One. He is the only person who can fly this ship on manual, and is teaching Tyche to fly anything she wants to get her hands on,” I responded, stepping back to stand equally between them. “Maverick Okima, this is Conor MacMaoilir, construction worker, botanist, and my personal protector whether I like it or not. He’s one of my closest friends, loves to eat, and is a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for.” I walked past Maverick and sat on the couch, waiting patiently. After a moment of both still standing and glaring at each other with suspicion, I crossed my arms. “Sit down if you’re staying. You are both entirely too tall for me to keep looking up at, so either sit down or leave.”

To his credit, Maverick shrugged and sat on the other end of my couch. After a moment, Conor relented and followed suit.

He also made a point to sit squarely between me and the other man in the room.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” I nearly shouted. “Stop the damned pissing contest! Conor would die rather than let me get hurt, and Maverick was one of the people who interrupted the attack on Level One. Seriously, if you two would just chill the fuck out, you would get along great. I promise. Conor, tell Maverick about Antoine’s project.”

Unable to resist a chance to nerd-out at his leisure, Conor started to explain. At first, he was hesitant, but finally his enthusiasm got the better of him. As I had expected, Maverick was immediately enthralled with the idea. After a technical interlude that I could just barely follow, Maverick’s eyes lit up with an idea. “Sophia! You should have this installed in your implant when it’s ready!”

Conor jerked with realization before snapping his head around to look at me. “He’s right. You and Tyche, both, probably. No more startling noises or unexpected close contact setting of your anxiety and trauma.”

I smiled at the success of the ice-breaker before gently shaking my head. “I may get it eventually, but I want Derek and Sam to be the first. But the idea did cross my mind, trust me.”

“Oh! That reminds me. How did your meeting with Grandma Kim go?” Conor turned to fully face me, only to swing his head back around when Maverick clutched his ribs and laughed.

“Dude, you should have seen her!” he gasped. “When I got here, Sophia was apparently taking a nap. This ‘nice elderly lady’ let me in, one hand reaching for her hip, showed me to Sophia’s room to wake her up. I open the door, and this big damned dog is on the bed and growling at me like a freaking demon or something. I thought I was gonna die! Then, she wakes up, tells the dog to chill out, and wants me to sit on the bed, with the thing that was about to kill me. When she told me Grandma Kim has combat training, I realized the ‘nice elderly lady’ wasn’t reaching for her hip because it hurt… she probably had a freaking knife!”

Conor turned back to me, wide-eyed. “So it went well, I take it? You actually took a nap?”

I nodded, a small smile on my face. “Yeah. I was exhausted after speaking with her, and she told me I should get some rest. When I explained the issue with sleeping, she offered to stay while Lyric took a nap with me. It worked better than I expected, honestly.”

“And the knife?”

“I had no clue, but it definitely adds points on how seriously she takes her job and what she knows about me. She didn’t know Maverick from a hole in the ground, so waiting to see how I reacted to him was smart, and playing it off as a hip injury was clever.”

“You aren’t going to say anything about the dog that nearly tore my throat out?” Maverick sounded a little put out.

“Lyric was part of the reason Sophie even met with her,” Conor admitted. “Professional nurturer with a trained guard and support dog? Big bonus.” Conor reached out and squeezed my forearm gently before putting his hand on my knee. “She takes care of everyone, so we’ll turn her quarters into Fort Knox if that’s what it takes to make her feel safer.”

Maverick collapsed slightly as tension I hadn’t even noticed left his shoulders. “That’s good. It’s the whole reason I wanted to stay until someone else got here. I’m glad you appreciate her. She’s nice.”

“She’s also sitting right here,” I grumbled, ears turning red. “Is that what the pissing contest was over? Making sure I’m safe from each other?”

“Yes,” they answered in unison before glancing at each other and smirking.

Groaning, I covered my face to hide the flush. “Oh gods, now there’s two of you! I’m going to have to agree to Grandma Kim being here just to get any privacy!”

They laughed, but I didn’t miss the nodding between them in agreement.

“Okay, okay, new topic,” I waved my hands at them. “Conor, how is the general attitude of the ship? Everyone seems on edge whenever I’m in the corridor, but that could just be because it’s me.”

He shook his head. “Nope, not just you. Don’t get me wrong, things have calmed down some since the trial, but folks are still on edge. The whole ship is quiet and tense.”

“Maybe they just need food,” Maverick’s face twisted into something like confusion. “I know I’m probably the last person to mention that, but trying different foods with the guys has cheered me up a lot. I’m just saying.”

Conor cocked an eyebrow at me, so I explained the other man’s history with eating and Team New Foods to him. He nodded. “That actually isn’t a bad idea. The food festival for Insert Winter Holiday was a huge success, and that was done on short notice. Depending on when Bash decides to open his pub, you could try to schedule it for the same time as that?”

“Wait. Sebastian Reed decided to open a pub after all?” I asked, astonished. He had been rather reluctant when I originally spoke to him about it.

“Oh, right, I forgot to tell you,” he rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “Yeah, I ran into him in one of the cafeterias and we got to talking. I told him how much good it would do for morale, hashed out a few things to prevent any alcohol abuse, that sort of thing. He agreed that, in the long run, it would do more good than harm to have something like that, and at least if it was him, he could keep a close eye on anyone who was trying to drink away their problems instead of talking to someone.”

“Right,” I agreed. “And who better to tend bar and keep an eye on people like that than a professional nurturer?”

Maverick got off the couch and came around to crouch next to us so he could join the conversation. “A professional nurturer? Is that like Grandma Kim?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “We have quite a few on the ship, actually. Antoine was one, now he co-ordinates them, apparently. Which, again, no-one told me…” I scowled at Conor.

He threw his hands up in defense. “First I’m hearing about it, love. So don’t give me that look. Take it up with Tyche.”

I shook my head with a sigh. “Honestly, it’s not like anyone was required to tell me. I just… I don’t like hearing about things like that from a stranger, that’s all. I used to get to hear all this during family dinners, and now…”

Conor patted my shoulder. “I know the feeling. We all go so used to ‘oh I’ve got something to tell everyone Wednesday’, that we don’t think to tell each other any other time, right?”

“You said you hoped you would be able to do your family dinners again,” Maverick pointed out. “Maybe having Grandma Kim here will help?”

“I still can’t cook yet,” I explained. “Until I’m not on a medication schedule anymore, I have to eat food from the console so Noah can make sure I’m getting everything.”

“You do remember Tyche can cook, too?” Conor looked at me pointedly. “And we can start small. You, your sister, me, Antoine at first. Then add one or two extra seats when you feel better. We can run it by Antoine to see if it would add to or slow down your recovery, from a mental perspective.”

I threw my head back on the couch. “Ugh! That’s the worst part about having a therapist in the family, now. I can’t get away with anything.”

Conor and Maverick just laughed at my antics.

With a chuckle, Maverick pointed at me. “You could just mom all over him until he caves.”

That set Conor howling. “That’s perfect! ‘Mom’ all over him! I’ve never heard it put like that, but it’s perfect!”

“Whoa, slow down, guys,” I held up my hands with a smile. “There’s a problem with your idea. Have either of you ever seen that work on Antoine?”

They both sobered up and glanced at each other. Conor looked like he was getting a brain cramp trying to think about it. “Okay, that wouldn’t work. He’s pretty dote-proof,” the Irishman admitted. “Unless it’s Tyche, but I don’t see you convincing her, either. Those two are immune to your wily cooking ways.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you and Antoine disagree….” Maverick rubbed his face thoughtfully. “You usually work together like a team.”

I nodded. “Exactly. Tyche and I work well together out of practice and lots of trial and error. We didn’t even really speak to each other until she was almost twenty, to be honest. Antoine and I work well together because we are willing to admit when the other is right and we’re wrong. Despite how incredibly professional our relationship seems, we both love my sister, and we have a lot of respect for each other.” I groaned again. “Which means I can’t argue when he says something will or won’t help my recovery, because I know he’s right.”

“Small dinners at first,” Conor repeated. “We already know the four of us, together, won’t set off anything.”

Maverick nodded. “I hope that works, because I really want to come at least once.”

“I’ll put you on the list,” I promised.

Our conversation was interrupted by an alert to my data band. It was from Simon: “I know it’s your day off, but I need you to come to the Council Chamber tomorrow. They have approved your new assistant.”

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#the miys #aliens #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #earth is space australia #apocalypse #science fiction #original writing

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amyperonayoga · 5 years ago

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Never allow waiting to become a habit.

Leaping into 50, catch me if you can.

“A wise girl knows her limits, a smart girl knows she has none.” Let it all go and see what happens. Create from a place of abundance and believe in yourself.

Sadly, these were not words I told myself until late into my 40s. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it was too late, it’s never too late, but I could have saved myself a lot of self sabotage and limiting beliefs in my abilities had I just let go. We say “let go” a lot in yoga classes and for many years I resisted this notion that “letting go” could in some create space for something better or new, or even something the universe was trying to send me. Truth is, I wanted to control every aspect of my life. I wanted to be the one “shaping” my future, instead of TRUSTING, that it could be “shaped” for me.

“Remember, you must make space for miracles to appear. Be the “shaped,” not the “shaper,” and you’ll see how quickly your dreams manifest.” (Author Unknown)

I am sitting on my couch, a touch sun kissed and a tiny bit tired from a trip I was trying to convince myself I didn’t deserve. Sound familiar ladies? You know that story we tell ourselves, the one that goes something like this, “we don’t deserve love, attention, self-care, and so on and so on.” All I can say is, I was so wrong, so very, very wrong. We’re all wrong as a matter of fact when we start to let the voice inside our heads tells us we deserve anything less. So, stop telling yourself those stories. Write a different narrative. Change the script and never allow waiting to become a habit because girls you will be waiting a long time. From the onset of the conversations surrounding a celebration of my 50th birthday, I did everything I could to “shape” the trip instead of letting be “shaped,” for me. MISTAKE.

Like every other time in my life, I wanted to be in control. I knew it was time to let go of the unceasing need to write and recite the outcome, but I fought hard to do otherwise. I’m grateful in this moment for two wise children (now young adults) who sat with me and listened while I talked through my insecurities and fears, but who also set me straight. We create our lives. We create the stories in our heads and if we do that, imagine for a moment what we can do if we FLIP THE SCRIPT and TELL OURSELVES AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY. So, I started a new narrative one week before turning 50. It goes something like this.

“This is the time to allow others to show you the way forward. Let others come to you. Collaborate and offer your ideas, rather than dictating what must happen. You can’t always lead, always give, always teach. You must be the student, the open vessel; and the one who receives the gift, gesture, or offer in measure. Open up and let love, life, abundance, and Spirit fill you, without demand or expectation, Just receive the bounty that is yours.”

What a beautiful narrative for what I hope to be the best second half of my life.

When you turn 50 or any age for that matter it’s natural to reflect on your life - do that but don’t focus on what you think is missing. Stop envisioning a life you think you should have and soak in the one you do. If it looks hard tell yourself, “damn this is hard, because it is! It’s not meant to be easy. If it looks like you’re missing out, stop comparing yourself to others, you’re NOT THEM. If it feels like one challenge after the next (kids, work, running a household, nurturing a relationship, building a career, and so on) think about the older women in your life (your mom, grandma, aunts, mentors, women you admire) and know with confidence THEY WERE THERE right where you are and guess what, THEY SURVIVED and you will too. What will kill your dreams and self-confidence, is thinking you deserve something else, or worse yet listening to the voice in your head, the EGO more specifically that is often fed by fear, insecurities, and comparison.

I believe we have to know when to press the STOP button and sit in the now. I’ve also believe we need to stop writing a future that is unknown. It doesn’t mean we must limit dreams or aspirations, but stop trying to shape them down to the tiniest detail.

Be the “shaped,” not the “shaper,”

I’ve waited a long time to give myself permission to believe that I am worthy of what EVERY single woman on this planet is worthy of - respect, love and abundance, equality, happiness, sexuality, and the list goes on, the mistake I’ve made is thinking it would mirror what I see in others lives (e.g., social media), rather than knowing it’s going to mirror the life I create, the love I give to myself and the care and kindness I pour into the pages of my own story. It won’t always be pretty and Instagram “ready” but hey, there’s a filter for that. It will be messy and beautiful and I’d have it no other way. Every single word, sentence, paragraph, page in this story called my life has led me to where I am right now, a full-time yoga teacher, small business owner, mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, and friend. If this past weekend is any indication of what the next chapter is going to look like for me - BRING IT. New year. New Beginnings. New Direction.

“My soul was calling. I was just facing the wrong way.” (Light is the New Black, Rebecca Campbell.”

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juzuya-13 · 5 years ago

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This was so much fun!

@thefandomsurfer thank you so much for tagging me on this one! I loved it :3

Gif 5 characters that you relate to/are most alike and pass it along to some friends! :)

Shiemi Moriyama, when I first started reading Blue Exorcist I developed a certain affection for Shiemi's character and overtime I realized that it was because I saw her as a reflection of myself, she is kind, caring, selfless, rather naive, very hopeful and always, ALWAYS there for everyone, she thinks of herself last and that's just like me, I'm very emotional and very giving, I care for others so much I often times forget my own self, because of my personality I've been used and abused many times by many different people throughout my life, despite the hurt I've never ceased to be myself and a good person.

Rin Okumura, Blue Exorcist, again, the reason why I relate to Rin is because Rin is very kind, loyal, he thinks of his loved ones first, he never hesitates when it comes to helping others, he's always very supportive towards everyone, even when he doesn't feel very good himself, he also tends to keep things to himself so that he doesn't bother others with his issues, he often times feels misunderstood and even like a burden. Despite all I've previously stated he has a very lively personality, always smiling, he has a good sense of humor that he uses as a defense mechanism, he's also rather clumsy and a great cook, just like me.

Karren Von Rosewald, Tokyo Ghoul : re. I'll probably get a little bit too personal with this one... The reason why I love Karren so much is because I relate to her on a very personal level, before I met my fiancé and my daughter came along I was on a constant, relentless search for love, I had a very complicated relationship with my parents growing up, mostly my father, he was out of my life for many years (He's currently trying his best to make it up for lost time). When I was 14-15 I lived at my grandma's for over a year without either of my parents, my mom had moved away to a different country but I stayed and I felt horribly alone, I wanted to be loved so bad I searched for it where it didn't exist, I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship with someone that did nothing but use me and abuse me for their own convenience, I knew it but I just really wanted to be loved by someone so I kept lying to myself, it drained me psychologically, I developed an eating disorder, became anemic and was very suicidal at some point, just like Karren hated herself for how masculine her body had become, I also hated mine because I didn't feel good enough, in my head I had to be better or that person would leave, stupid I know but I was just 15, overtime I became obsessed because I projected the love I wanted onto someone that couldn't give it to me... Eventually it ended and I called my mom and decided I wanted to be with her, she brought me to her, so I was back again with my mom and my brother but I was completely alone, in a country I didn't know anyone yet, I had left everything I knew behind, the little friends I had, I was also just fresh 16... I was very, very depressed for around a year, I felt lonely and nothing seemed to help or make me happy, despite how it felt I still kept pushing through and when I least expected I met my fiancé, with whom I've been for the past 5 years, he was a blessing and the good, healthy love that I needed. We all know that unlike me, sadly, Karren didn't have a good ending to her story but that's about it, I relate to her search for love, to her losing everyone, the loneliness, restarting your life somewhere new, I didn't make the decision to change my life to escape from Ghoul investigators but to escape myself, all the pain I was dealing with...

Agni, Kuroshitsuji. The reason why I relate so much with Agni is because just like me he was in search for a fresh start, a better life, he wanted to forget and move on from his past, be a new person, be true to himself. He's very selfless and is of a very nurturing nature, like a father figure, I've always been very nurturing, the mom friend, people have always come to me for comfort and support. Agni has remained good at heart despite his past, he did not resent or hate, he allowed his experiences to elevate him, make him a better person and he transformed all the hate into love, just like I have forgiven those who have hurt me, I've taken all the negativity and made it into something positive, it takes a lot of strength not to break, to remain kind and hopeful when you suffer... But just like Agni somehow I've managed to do so, Agni is also incredibly faithful and devoted to those he cares about, just like me, this is why I love and relate to his character so much, I'll always miss Agni.

shoto todoroki, My Hero Academia. I feel like I'm sort of starting to repeat myself at this point but here we go. The reason I relate with Todoroki is mainly due to his family issues, Todoroki grew up under pressure to become something his father couldn't, growing up I was constantly being compared to others, my cousins, kids of other people I didn't know because I wasn't doing as good as them, I was pushed and told I wouldn't be good enough if I didn't step up, so I forced myself and I many times broke in the process, to try and please others I hurt myself many times and I developed many trust issues... Another thing, Todoroki refusing to take help or make use of his fire quirk because it is linked to his father, my father walked out of my life when I was young and only recently he has started to come closer and try to make it up to me, it took me a while to warm up to him, to acknowledge his intentions and it wasn't easy opening up and letting him in because I was so hurt... But I'm forgiving and despite his attitude so is Todoroki... I tried to understand my father, why he did what he did, and I made peace with it... Todoroki is also very responsible, sensitive, determined and he has a certain maturity that is a little above the others his age in my opinion, because he has been through things that made him have to grow up faster, he has seen things others his age haven't and that also made him into who he is, which might make him feel slightly different and distant from others at times like I've felt... Regardless he is still caring and there for those who need him, like me :)

Oof this got personal! °.°

It was a good experience because it made me reflect upon the many characters I can somehow relate to and pinpoint the ones I absolutely see myself in and talk about it, let it out a little, thank you so much for the tag, again, it was rather therapeutical ♥

I tag :

@mirrors-never-lie

@everyone that might be interested in doing this!

#tagged #about me #thank you so much for tagging me!!! ♥#blue exorcist #shiemi moriyama #rin okumura #tokyo ghoul:re #kanae von rosewald #karren von rosewald #kuroshitsuji #black butler #agni #my hero academia #shoto todoroki

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pocket-luv101 · 7 years ago

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I was supposed to finish this kuromahi family fanfic a while ago but here it is late :p

“I’m home!” Mahiru was barely able to take off her shoes before her toddler daughter launched herself into her arms. She quickly dropped her bags so she could catch Machi. She lifted her high above her head and then hugged her tightly. Machi squealed happily when Mahiru kissed her cheek. “Did you grow even taller while Mama was gone? I was only at the office for an afternoon. You’ll be as tall as Mama soon.”

“I can only hope she won’t be as reckless as her mother when that happens,” Kuro came into the hall. He smiled when he saw the sweet scene of Mahiru holding their small daughter. He picked up the bags she dropped on the ground earlier. Then he kissed her softly and said, “Welcome home, Mahiru. Machi was drawing something for you and I think you’ll like it.”

“Present for Mama!” Machi tried to wiggle out of her arms to run back to the living room and Mahiru place her on the ground. Her small hand gripped her skirt and excitedly pulled her forward. Mahiru giggled and followed her daughter with a smile. She looked very happy and proud as she skipped so Mahiru wondered what she made. She repeatedly cheered, “Mama’s day!”

“Mama’s day? Thank you for making me a present but it’s not my birthday.” She said softly. Machi didn’t seem to be deterred as she let go of her hand. She picked up a picture and shyly held it out to her. The childish drawing made Mahiru’s heart melt. She had drawn their small family in crayon and above it was Kuro’s handwriting. To the best mom in the world! Happy Mother’s Day!

Mahiru smiled down at the picture and she couldn’t be happier. She only looked away from the drawing when Machi hugged her leg. “Mama like?”

“Mama loves your present! Thank you so much, Machi. Let’s put this on the fridge so everyone can see how wonderfully you draw.” Mahiru picked her up again and carried her carefully in one arm as she took her to the fridge. It was already covered in pictures and drawing. She found a free spot and placed her gift against the fridge. “Which magnet should we use?”

“Auntie!” Machi decided and took the wolf shaped magnet to pin the picture to the fridge. She looked over all the drawings Machi made for them. They were far from professional but each one was precious to Mahiru. Her bright smile had to be the greatest gift she could ever receive though. She loved her daughter and Mahiru would do anything to make her happy.

Kuro stood behind them and wrapped his arms around the two. He placed his cheek on the top of her head and nestled against her. “I booked us a dinner at this new restaurant downtown. Lily suggested it. You work so hard all the time and I thought you deserved a nice dinner. I wish I could cook as well as you can so we can celebrate at home.”

“I love this day already. Thank you again, Machi. Mama loves you so much. Kuro, can you get Machi ready to go out while I talk to my mom?” Mahiru stroked her hair before she handed her to Kuro. He understood that she needed a moment alone and nodded. He kissed her forehead softly before he walked down the hall. Once she heard the door close, Mahiru walked to her mother’s shrine.

She had mixed feelings whenever she stood in front of the shrine. She moved on but there were days she would think of her mother and miss her. It wasn’t only Mother’s Day. She couldn’t celebrate with her mother on her graduation or ask her for advice while she was pregnant. Her uncle was wonderful and he did his best but sometimes she wished she could speak with her mother.

Mahiru lit the incense and knelt in front of her mother’s photo. “I’m sorry, I almost forgot Mother’s Day. We haven’t celebrated it for a long time and… it’s not your fault. I miss you. Machi is almost three and I wish you could see her. She’s perfect. When I got that drawing, I was happy but I wanted to cry a little. Best mom in the world… To me, that was always you.”

She always tried to put on a brave face for her family but Mahiru felt her throat tightening. “I remember, on my fourth birthday, you told me: ‘Mahiru, you’re growing so quickly that you’ll be an adult without me even realizing it.’ I was young but that always stuck with me because I never understood what you meant. We were going to be together forever so how can that happen?”

Mahiru wiped a tear and laughed at herself. “I think the same thing with Machi now. It feels like I need to buy her new clothes every time I look away because she’s growing up so fast. In a blink of an eye, she went from crawling to walking. One day, she won’t need me to hold her hand anymore. I’m trying my best to be a strong woman like you but sometimes… Kuro wrote it so I hope Machi actually thinks I’m a good mother.”

“Best Mama in the world!” Mahiru turned slightly and saw her daughter behind her. She crawled onto her lap and patted Mahiru’s tear stained cheeks. “Pain, pain, go away. No more hurt Mama!”

“Oh, Machi.” Mahiru smiled softly down at her daughter. “Thank you for making the pain go away. I love you so much. I was just telling Grandma in heaven ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ She said that she had been watching over you and that you’ve been a very good girl. Both of us are so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Grandma.” Machi innocently waved at the photo. She was too young to fully understand death and Mahiru dreaded when she would be old enough to. She couldn’t keep Machi a child forever so the only thing she could do was raise her well and prepare her for the world. Mahiru hugged Machi tightly and kissed her forehead.

“We should head to dinner, Machi. If there’s a special Mother’s Day dessert, I’ll split it with you.” She nodded eagerly and Mahiru stood up. If Machi thought she was a good mother, she was assured that she was doing a good job.

“I’m too full to walk. Why didn’t we take a taxi home again?” Kuro muttered to himself as they walked home from the restaurant. He and Mahiru each held onto Machi’s hand as she walked beside them. She insisted that they buy ice cream and walk home. Machi had already finished hers but she would occasionally steal bites of her parent’s ice cream cone.

“Swing me, please!” Machi pleaded as she tugged on their hands. Her parents were only too happy to indulge her. At the same time, Mahiru and Kuro lightly swung her a few inches off the ground. He forgot how tired he was when he saw the two laughing with each other. “Swing me higher, Mama. I wanna catch a cloud and eat it!”

“That’s dangerous, Machi.” Mahiru laughed and wondered if she had such an active imagination when she was a child. She knelt and offered her another bite of her ice cream. “How about you have some ice cream instead? Thinking simply, vanilla ice cream is much more delicious than clouds. Open up.”

“Mama’s Day ice cream. Mama say ah,” Machi pushed the cone back towards Mahiru. She went too far and smudged the ice cream onto her face. She looked worried for a moment until Mahiru began to laugh good naturedly. Mahiru ruffled her hair and then playfully smeared ice cream onto Machi’s cheek. “Sticky!”

“Hey, don’t use Papa’s jacket to wipe your face!” Kuro shook his head wearily when she didn’t listen and rubbed the tails of his jacket against her cheek. He took out his napkin and cleaned the ice cream from her face. Then he turned to Mahiru and cupped her face in one hand. “I thought I only had one troublemaking cat to worry about. Hold still.”

Kuro leaned closer and licked Mahiru’s cheek. Her face became bright red and flustered because of the teasing gesture. She covered her face and turned away from his grin. “Don’t do things like that in front of Machi! You’re a father and her role model, Kuro. What are you teaching her? What if she does something like that to someone?”

“Don’t be so serious, Mamahiru.” Kuro laughed. He picked up Machi and poked her nose. “Cats mark people they like with kisses. It’s a thing Papa does to Mama. You’re not allowed to lick people until you’re older and it has to be with the person you love.”

“Okay!” Machi nodded.

“That’s not any better, Kuro!” Mahiru yelled at the same time.

“The ogre turned into a tiny mouse. Now, he was no match for Puss in Boots.” Mahiru stopped reading the fairy tale when she heard Machi snoring softly. She smiled and set the book aside. She rearranged the blankets around Machi so she would be comfortable and warm. With a light kiss on her forehead, she whispered, “Sweet dreams.”

“I can’t believe you banned me from story time just for a little teasing.” Kuro poked his head into the room when he heard Mahiru finish. He walked into the room and stood next to her. He could see that she was tired and Kuro carefully lifted her off the bed without waking Machi. “Will you forgive me? Cats can’t go a night without cuddles.”

“Oh, please, Kuro.” Mahiru rolled her eyes. Her light laugh told him that she wasn’t angry with his teasing anymore. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder. “You’ll never change. I don’t mind though. I love you, cat jokes and all. Thank you for everything you did today. It made me very happy.”

“I didn’t do much. I just thought you would like a simple dinner for Mother’s Day.” She felt him shrug and began to walk back to their room. She leaned away slightly so she could look into his eyes and kissed the corner of his lips. They both knew how difficult it was for her to grow up without her mother. She loved her mother and she hoped that she could be as nurturing as her.

“You’re wonderful, Mahiru.” She realized that she had said the words out loud. “I’m sure, fifty years from now, she’ll be telling everyone how proud she is to have you as a mom. I couldn’t ask for a better partner either. We wouldn’t be a family without you.”

“Thank you,” Mahiru’s eyes drifted close as she fell asleep in his arms.

I was only going to have the first part but I really wanted to have more fluff so I added the last two scenes.

#servamp #kuromahi #sloth pair #servamp kuro #mahiru shirota #fanfiction #fem mahiru

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