#and we're not in a relationship so it might come off even weirder if i explain how worried i was 🙃

[mirialan]

I don't think I could ever live by myself. Actually, I know I can't. I've known for a while. It's been a fear of mine for a long time. My guy has been M.I.A. for almost a week now and my roommate is at his gfs place for the night. So I'm here on a Friday night completely by myself, working overtime and trying not to have an anxiety attack about where my man is. My mind gets so dark and I feel so alone and scared about my future and it's literally only been one day of me by myself. I would never make it living alone lol.

[ugh-yoongi]

Hi. Can I request a drabble with Jungkook where they’re in a secret relationship and they think their friends are not aware of it but they’re actually really bad at hiding it. Thank you!

decided to combine these two. thank you both for the requests!

this one ran away from me but was really fun, so we're going to ignore the wordcount. hope you both enjoy! <3

obviously

pairing: jungkook x f. reader genre: secret relationship au, roommate au; crack, fluff warnings: two idiots engaging in idiot behavior, swearing, yoongi is tortured by reader's use of emojis, drinking/alcohol, one reference to jungkook wearing women's underwear but it isn't a thing, unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 3.7k

In retrospect, getting married at nineteen wasn’t your brightest idea.

Not your worst, either, because at least you’d chosen well.

There are undoubtedly far worse men to have as your ex-husband than Kim Namjoon, who had also gotten caught up in all those romantic cliches about young love; had also been inflicted with whatever illness made you believe getting married so young was smart and cool; had also woken up one day and thought what the fuck are we doing and asked if you wanted to call it quits.

You did.

And even though you loved Namjoon, over time it turned into that platonic life partner kind of love and not that all-encompassing, love of your life, eternal kind of love. So, Namjoon offered to pay for the divorce with his grad school stipend and took his name off the lease so you could find a new roommate and insisted on meeting up every other week for takeout and cheap alcohol because he had a whole thing about not wanting it to be weird.

Now, here you sit, years removed from the most affectionate and anticlimactic divorce of all time, and you wonder what could be more weird than your ex-husband making you a Tinder profile.

“I know what you like,” he insists, cheeks ruddy from the wine. Namjoon talks endlessly on a good day, but he’s nearly impenetrable when he’s got some merlot in him. “No one’s more qualified to do this than me.” You quirk an eyebrow at him. “Except you, of course,” he hurriedly adds.

“Have you ever stopped to think—”

Namjoon heaves an exaggerated groan, hand to his forehead as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “You have no idea.”

You roll your eyes. “Have you ever stopped to think,” you repeat, “that there might be a reason I don’t have a Tinder? Or any dating profile, for that matter?”

“Yeah, you’re obviously still in love with me,” he jokes, laughing wildly at the absurdity of it; elbows you in the side as he wiggles his eyebrows. What could be weirder than your ex-husband treating you like one of his bros? “But alas, I’ve moved on, and so the time has come for you to also—”

“Either shut up or drink more,” you interject, filling his glass nearly to the brim. “You’re insufferable when you’re like this.”

Namjoon, seemingly out of arguments, simply hums in acknowledgment. Downs half the wine you’d just poured him, because out of the two options you’d presented him with, it’s the more realistic choice. Asks, “What’s your preferred age range?” before snorting another laugh and setting it from 18 to 50 for his own amusement.

“You know, I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Why not?” he retorts, and there’s no judgment there, just genuine curiosity. You know he’s just having a laugh, would delete it and never mention it again if you asked him to, but the thing is—

The front door opens, and there stands your roommate, arms full of bags from Daiso. “Hey, ba—”

Jungkook stops dead in his tracks when he sees your ex-husband. Coughs to cover the pet name that nearly tumbled out of his mouth and lifts his hand in a wave. Namjoon watches the way the weight of the bags causes the muscles in Jungkook’s forearm to flex and shoots you a look. Maybe he does know what you like, after all.

“Hi, Namjoon-hyung,” Jungkook says, polite but still awkward, even after all these years. Can’t seem to shake it, no matter how hard he tries. “What are you two up to?”

Namjoon is none the wiser, used to the hushed awe Jungkook always adopts when he addresses him. Polite and endlessly kind because his mother raised him to never be anything less, but only ever jittery around Namjoon. Doesn’t act like this around any of your other friends; takes Seokjin’s teasing in stride and dishes it right back, but never Namjoon. Would probably rather die.

So Namjoon just waves back, says, “Hi, Jungkook-ah,” before he returns his attention to his phone. Doesn’t look up when you abandon him on the couch to help unpack the bags. Says, “I’m signing her up for Tinder so she can finally get laid,” and also doesn’t look up when Jungkook chokes on an inhale and one of the bags splits in half.

Before he moved in with you, Jungkook lived with Hoseok.

It’d gone great, all things considered. Jungkook couldn’t have asked for a better first roommate, fresh out of high school and his family home and hundreds of kilometers from the salty air of Busan. He’d nearly been sick with anxiety, all green around the edges, and Hoseok had pulled him into a hug and calmed his fraying nerves. Helped him with his homework and taught him how to cook and pecked at his heels like a mother hen when his room got too messy.

Just like he’s doing now.

“Hyung,” Jungkook says, not at all able to hide the surprise in his voice when he pulls open the door and finds Hoseok on the other side. “What are you doing here?”

Hoseok tuts. “I told you I was coming by this weekend to clean. I haven’t been here in weeks—”

“I know how to clean,” Jungkook argues, face growing warm from misplaced embarrassment, that Hoseok still thinks he’s a dumb kid who doesn’t know any better. “I said you didn’t have to come.”

His hyung’s face softens. “I know you know how to clean, Jungkookie, I’m just… I still feel responsible for you. You’re the first child I raised and released into the world.”

Jungkook sighs. Knows this is a losing argument. Opens the door wide enough to accommodate Hoseok and his bags of cleaning supplies, and doesn’t say a word as he follows Hoseok around the apartment even though he wants to say, I told you so. The entire place is spotless. There’s nothing to clean. No dust on the floor. Sparkling kitchen countertops. Laundry freshly-washed and hung on the drying rack by the window, warm in the midday sun. No toothpaste in the bathroom sink; no hard water stains on the shower glass.

All that’s left is Jungkook’s bedroom. That, too, is spotless, and Hoseok has never had a poker face and certainly can’t muster one now. “Why is it so clean in here?” he asks, taking in the bare floor, void of dirty clothes and whatever hobby equipment Jungkook had taken up that week; the pristinely-made bed with its hospital corners and fluffed pillows; the end tables that are suspiciously void of dust.

“Because I know how to clean,” Jungkook tartly replies, rolling his eyes. “I told you, there’s—”

“Are you even living in here?” Hoseok continues, either oblivious to or pointedly ignoring the way Jungkook starts to panic. “Because it doesn’t smell weird, either, and we all know that wasn’t the case before.”

“I have an air freshener.”

“Uh-huh.”

Hoseok continues his search. Actually praises Jungkook on the way he’d organized his clothes, the fact that everything in his drawers is folded and not shoved in haphazardly, that the few nice pieces he owns are hung in the closet. Kneels on the floor to check under the bed: empty, except for the XBox controller Taehyung had left behind the last time he came over to binge Valorant.

And Jungkook should’ve known—should’ve anticipated this—because it’s his Hobi-hyung and if there’s anything his Hobi-hyung is neurotic about it’s cleanliness and he’s got eyes like a hawk, makes him deadly efficient at spotting dust, so it’s really no surprise when he lets out a shrill a-ha! and pops out from under the bed with a pair of lacy underwear pinched between his fingers, but Jungkook should’ve anticipated it, anyway.

“And what do we have here?”

What Hoseok has here is Jungkook’s favorite pair of your underwear, but he can’t say that, so he just feels the way his face flushes with embarrassment again and wonders if he’d get out of the impending interrogation if he starts crying. “Um. Nothing?”

“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” Hoseok continues, voice animated and lilting, the teasing smile evident even though Jungkook can’t bring himself to look. “Can’t believe my little Jungkookie is all grown up.”

Jungkook doesn’t feel grown up, he feels mortified. Feels like he wants to sink right through the floor, like he wants to disappear for three to five business years. Feels like an idiot for being so insistent on all this secrecy, because now he can’t tell Hoseok that the lacy underwear he’s inspecting belongs to you and that the two of you have been together for a while, that it’s great, Jungkook thinks this might be It, and all he can do is blurt out the first thing he can think of, which is—

“It’s mine.” Hoseok’s head turns so fast his neck creaks. “I’m, uh. Experimenting.”

Hoseok shrieks. Jungkook shrieks. “What the fuck,” Hoseok shrieks again as he drops the underwear to the floor and kicks it under the bed. “Why wouldn’t you just say that—”

“That’s what you get for going through my stuff!”

Hoseok doesn’t come over to clean again.

On the weeks you don’t see Namjoon, you spend your Fridays having game night at Jimin’s.

It’s always a raucous affair—wouldn’t be possible any other way with the friend group you’ve got, now seamlessly blended with Jungkook’s—and it’s always your responsibility to supply the snacks. You pop into the store after work, leave with your arms full of junk like you looted the place, and the man in front of you in line takes so long you miss the bus and have to wait for the next.

Which leaves you very little time to get ready, so you rush through a shower to rinse off the work grime and grab the first pair of leggings and sweatshirt you see, slip your feet into slides that may or may not be yours, and run down the hall to Jimin’s.

Laughter can be heard from just outside the door—Hobi’s and Jin’s louder than everyone—and it makes you smile. Warmth blooms in your chest, all affection, and it has you feeling terribly fond of this group you’ve cobbled together. Has you smiling wider as you punch in Jimin’s door code and let yourself inside. Has you dropping off the snacks in the kitchen and wanting to hug the first person you find, except one Park Jimin has other plans.

“Why are you wearing Jungkookie’s hoodie?” he says in lieu of a greeting.

You look down. Certainly is Jungkook’s hoodie, mixed in with the clean laundry you hadn’t gotten around to putting away yet, and you’re sure there’s no hiding the way your jaw drops a little. The man in question is across the room, stuck in a conversation about fuck knows what with Taehyung, and he sends you a panicked look that can only be an instruction to lie your ass off. So you huff, say, “What d’you mean? This is mine,” and paint on the most annoyed expression you can conjure.

“It absolutely is not yours,” Jimin retorts.

This time you look annoyed for real. “Ugh, who cares? Since when did you become an expert on our personal belongings?”

When you first met Jimin, you’d been tricked into thinking he was a sweet, innocent angel; the kind of person who would do anything for his loved ones, including not interrogating them over whose clothes they wear. Quickly, you learned this was not the case. Jimin is lovely and kind, but he’s also perceptive as hell and shameless, so he smirks knowingly and answers with, “Since I bought them.”

Which… makes sense, you can admit. You vaguely recall Jungkook’s last birthday and the way he’d gasped and insisted on Jimin returning the hoodie he’d gifted him because it was too expensive and the way Jimin had laughed and waved him off, because Jungkook has always been his favorite and he’s never attempted to hide it. The hoodie you’re wearing now could, theoretically, be that exact gift. It’s definitely soft enough to be made from something expensive.

“Oh,” you reply, changing gears entirely. “Well, you know how it is. Sometimes laundry gets mixed up. I’m sure you and Taehyung have worn each other’s clothes by accident, too.”

Jimin doesn’t buy it, you can tell, but he thankfully drops the issue. Watches you and Jungkook like a hawk for the rest of the night, just waiting to capitalize on any other slip-ups, but you purposely fall into a conversation with Yoongi that’s too boring for any normal human to follow along with, and Jungkook calls dibs on Mario Kart until someone can beat him, so there are no slip-ups to catch.

However, if the one constant of your friend group is that Jungkook is Jimin’s favorite regardless of Taehyung’s pouting, the second is that Jung Hoseok cannot hold his liquor.

He’s four mixed drinks deep, skin flushed and eyes half-lidded with sleep, when he stands on top of Taehyung and Jimin’s coffee table and shouts, for everyone to hear, “Hey, did you guys know Jungkookie started wearing women’s underwear?”

For once, this comes as a complete shock to you, too.

The thing about being in love, Jungkook finds, is that it’s nearly impossible to shut up about it.

He’s trying to be cool. He’s trying to be normal. He feigns delight and care when his coworkers talk about their partners, pretends he’s paying attention and not just waiting for his turn to talk about you. He prints pictures of the two of you off his phone and frames them and displays them at his desk, and all someone has to say is, “That’s a cute picture, Jungkook-ssi—” before all his affection for you erupts out of him like a volcano.

So far he’s been careful. His coworkers are sick of hearing about you, but they’re an outlet for everyone he can’t talk about you with. Like his friends, because he’d decided early on it was better to keep everything a secret for a little bit because he didn’t want things to be weird (and because he’s low-key terrified of Namjoon, because he’s gentle and clumsy but he’s still big) and now he’s regretting it but it feels like it’s gone on too long and he’s in too deep.

Really, it’s no surprise he slips up. Has probably been overdue for one like this for a while.

They’re at the arcade. Taehyung has sunk the last of his disposable income for the week into a claw machine stocked with LINE characters. Wants to win a Sally plushie for Jimin because he says they look alike. It’s cute, the bond they have, platonic soulmates the way you and Namjoon are, and Jungkook is starry-eyed and love-drunk when he heaves a wistful sigh and thinks out loud, “I should win something for her, too.”

The words catch Taehyung so off-guard his hand slips and presses the button to lower the claw. “Press it again,” Jungkook says. “If you double-press the button, it makes the claw stronger. You’ll get it.”

Taehyung is wary, still dazed from Jungkook’s slip-up, but he presses the button again anyway. The claw tightens around Sally’s head and drags her up and out of the pile, drops her into the chute and to Taehyung’s waiting hand. “Oh shit! Jungkookie, you’re a genius. Jimin’s gonna love this.”

“Yeah, sure. Didn’t know you didn’t know that trick or I would’ve told you sooner.”

His hyung nods absentmindedly, distracted with the selfie he’s sending to Jimin with Sally obscuring half his face. “Are you gonna try now?”

Jungkook swallows. “Huh?”

“You said you were gonna win something for someone.”

“No I didn’t,” he lies.

Taehyung’s face drops. Gets all serious when he shoves his phone in his back pocket. “Yes you did. Right before I won this,” he says, large hands wrapped around Sally’s poor neck, clearly strangling her. “You said I should win something for her, too. Who’s ‘her’? Are you seeing someone?”

“I said him, hyung,” he lies again. Is thankful for the garish arcade lights and the way they hide the blush creeping up his neck. “I meant Jimin-hyung.”

“You did not,” Taehyung insists. “You said her, and now you’re trying to gaslight me—”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. Feigns exasperation. Swipes his game card and stares his hyung right in the eye as he drops the claw and double-taps, somehow picking up two plushies. Tosses Brown to Taehyung and says, “Tell Jimin his favorite dongsaeng won him that one.”

Tucks Cony safely in his pocket to give to you later, thankful the universe came through for him for once.

You (10:42pm): babe

You (10:42pm): what time do you think you’ll be home?

You (10:43pm): 🍆🍆🍆

Yoongi (11:06pm): What the fuck

You (11:08pm): oh fuck

You (11:08pm): that was NOT meant for you

Yoongi (11:14pm): Fucking obviously

Yoongi (11:14pm): Please do not ever accidentally sext me again

You (11:15pm): gross yoongi

You (11:15pm): that wasn’t a sext

You (11:15pm): i need it for the bokkeum i’m making

Yoongi (11:17pm): At midnight? Fuck off

Yoongi (11:17pm): Trade proposal

Yoongi (11:17pm): You never accidentally sext me again and I won’t tell the rest of our friends you’re secretly dating your roommate

You (11:29pm): it’s not even midnight 🙄

You (11:29pm): but that sounds good to me, thanks!

Hoseok had taught Jungkook how to cook, but not how to bake.

They’d attempted it, once, not long after Jungkook moved to Seoul and was homesick and missing his mom’s yaksik something terrible. Just wanted something that tasted like home, something comforting, and Hoseok had felt so bad for him that he said fuck it, let’s try, what’s the worst that could happen, and the two of them learned very quickly that nearly burning down their kitchen and the rest of their building was, in fact, the worst thing that could happen.

They never tried baking a damn thing after that, individually or together.

Still, there’s a special occasion coming up, so Jungkook asks the only person he trusts to help him.

“You need a cake,” Seokjin intones, swallowing his smile when Jungkook nods and his mop of curls bobbles along. Takes out a notepad to jot down ideas. “What’s the occasion?”

“Um. Just an… occasion.”

Seokjin blinks owlishly. “You just need a cake for an occasion? Do you wanna try again and actually be helpful this time?”

“What does it matter if I’m paying you, hyung?” Jungkook whines. “Aren’t cakes all the same?”

“Not if you want me to decorate it—”

“I don’t.”

“—because what am I supposed to write on it? Happy occasion, person whose name Jungkookie won’t tell me! Do you see how that might not work out for either of us?”

“Again, what does it matter—”

Seokjin looks up from his notepad, brows furrowed. “Are you ordering this for the president? What’s with all the secrecy?”

Jungkook huffs, puts on his Very Serious Face. “I can just take my business elsewhere if you’re going to interrogate me, hyung,” he says, to which Seokjin rolls his eyes, used to Jungkook’s dramatics.

“Be my guest,” he calls his bluff, gesturing to the front door of the bakery. “No one else is going to give you as good a discount as me, though.”

“I bet Junghwan-ssi would,” Jungkook grumbles, low but loud enough for Seokjin to hear, because there isn’t much else Jungkook can say that’d get under his hyung’s skin as much as the mention of his arch nemesis. “I bet I could walk into his bakery right now and explain the whole situation to him and he’d practically give it to me for free, just so it meant you didn’t get my business.”

And it works. Seokjin’s eyes narrow, chest starts heaving. “You wouldn’t,” he accuses, and Jungkook just shrugs, nonplussed, daring Seokjin to find out.

What follows can only be described as a tense standoff: Seokjin behind the counter of his bakery, looking hilariously underdressed for this stalemate in his pink apron, armed only with a pen; Jungkook, looking smug and pleased on the other side, not even knowing what Junghwan’s bakery is called, let alone where it is. The bell above the door chimes and neither breaks eye contact to look, and it’d probably go on like this forever, knowing the two of them, except the person behind Jungkook clears their throat, asks, “Excuse me, are you in line…?” and Seokjin is forced to concede if he wants to stay in business.

The person orders a cake for their daughter’s birthday. Answers each of Seokjin’s questions with certainty and preparedness, and Jungkook doesn’t miss the looks Seokjin shoots at him. See how easy it is to answer simple questions? they say. Why can’t you be like this?

Jungkook can’t be like that because the cake is for your birthday. Which Seokjin knows, because he has all of his friends’ birthdays saved to his phone calendar, but he’s never gone out of his way to get you a cake before so Seokjin will absolutely know something’s up. And as he waits for the person to be done ordering, his heart aches a little, because he wants to tell Seokjin to make you the nicest cake he can. Wants him to pull out all the stops, because it’s your birthday and you deserve it, and he could say all those things if he hadn’t insisted on this stupid secrecy.

Guilt consumes him so entirely he doesn’t notice the person leaving. Doesn’t hear the chime of the bell above the door. Is halfway to spilling the entire story to Seokjin, gets as far as hyung, there’s something I— before Seokjin holds up a hand to stop him.

“What kind of cake would you like, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook deflates. Takes all those transgressions he was about to confess to and shoves them back inside his chest, locks them away. “Whatever you think is best, hyung. Just no nuts.”

And Seokjin smirks knowingly, because there’s only one person he knows with a nut allergy.

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Book of Secrets Fails As a Sequel: Part 3/?

Where Ben's Arc Went Wrong

Previously, we started our deep dive into Book of Secrets by taking a look at Ben's character arc. Specifically, comparing his flat arc from the first movie to his lack of arc in the second.

And part of what's so frustrating about his lack of a character arc in the sequel is that the pieces are right there to make it happen.

Book of Secrets Ben has flaws! He has negative characteristics that are holding him back and hurting the people around him. We're shown this multiple times and then...poof. Nothing comes of it.

Heroes and Flaws

The way a character arc generally works is that the protagonist is introduced with a flaw. There are multiple names you might see used here and different theories about how to structure this setup—the hero's ghost, their misbelief, their passion taken too far.

In BoS, I'd call Ben's problem a misbelief. That is, a false belief that at one point in the hero's past was true.

Ben's Misbelief

Ben's once-true belief was that he is fundamentally right. He held this conviction about the Templar Treasure for 3/4 of his life, risked life, limb, and a treason conviction to prove it, and he was right.

He was ridiculed by his peers, and his family, and he was right.

The problem is, now that the treasure is found, Ben seems to have displaced this adamant certainty in his own convictions onto...everything. He was right about the treasure, so he must be right about the Booth diary too. He must be right about Thomas Gates and what Abigail wants and what Riley is capable of.

And this is actually fantastic!

Ben's a jackass, and that's great actually

I know, but hear me out: this is the perfect foundation for a character arc in the second movie. It is completely understandable how Ben became such a self-absorbed person after doing something so massively redefining for himself and the world. It would honestly be weirder if there wasn't some kind of emotional fallout from this (and we'll talk about the lack of fallout in other areas in a later edition.)

So the movie starts off by showing us the ways he needs to grow: His assumption that he's always right has imploded his relationship with Abigail.

London

Then the movie keeps pushing on this flaw, as it should. Ben ropes the squad into another dangerous treasure hunt because he has to be right about his great-great-whatever grandfather.

In London, Abigail spells out pretty explicitly what Ben has to learn.

ABIGAIL When you get to a conclusion without asking, and you happen to be right, you got lucky. BEN I get lucky a lot.

And from Ben's perspective, this is correct. Past experience has taught him that his most deeply help convictions are true, even without evidence. Even with mountains of evidence to the contrary!

But the danger of this mindset is reinforced later in the same sequence when:

BEN Hack into the London Police database and get a picture from that traffic cam. RILEY Okey-dokey. BEN You can't do it? RILEY No, I can. I just don't like that you assume that I can. ABIGAIL [laughs] Why, thank you, Riley.

Ben almost loses a critical clue—the clue—because he is going off assumption instead of talking to the two people he's closest to and listening to what they have to say.

So those are the first two 'phases' if you will of dealing with a character's flaw. 1) establish it 2) push on it until

3) it leads to a moment of crisis where the hero can either grow and take the first step towards overcoming this flaw or double down on the consequences

4) in most stories that aren't tragedies the hero will pick the path of growth and learn from their mistakes, repairing the damage they've caused and often finding a solution that will unlock the final problem their plot poses, which they weren't able to see until they let go of their flaw

You many have noticed that the last two steps do not occur in National Treasure Book of Secrets.

As @tentacledwizard put it on the last post

#because like. there were clear opportunities for Ben to have character growth in nat2#i don’t remember the events of the film all that clearly but there was a point where he makes#this kinda wild leap to a conclusion#and i was thinking “oh it’s gonna turn out that he was wrong. he misinterpreted the clue and he needs to admit that he was wrong”#but nope he’s still correct#hes ALWAYS correct and doesn’t experience any growth. he doesn’t have to admit he’s fallible bc he ISNT

Ben doesn't learn to listen to Abigail.

He doesn't make a mistake or draw a wrong conclusion.

He doesn't need to reach out to her, Riley, Emily or anybody else for a different perspective.

He isn't wrong about Riley or another allies abilities. (Or his own!!!)

He's just...right. Ben is always right.

How did we get here?

I can see how this happened. At some point in the development process, somebody decided that the Ben Gates we meet in the sequel had to be the exact same Ben we met in the original movie. And that Ben was fundamentally Right About Things™ so this one must be too.

My guess is this did not come from the writers, at least not from the beginning. The skeleton of what should have been his character arc is just too clear to have not been intentional at some point.

But as the story was worked on by teams of writers and looked at by various executives, somebody decided—maybe intentionally, maybe not—this 'Ben learns his lesson' business had to go.

It's a shame because, at least in my humble opinion, a functioning character arc here is the domino that might have underpinned a very different approach to the movie.

Next time → The sequel reset

[stannyramirez]

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐯𝐬. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥

“Nope-nope-nope-nope-nope. You need to leave right now. Take your carriage and fire and dead horse, and go back to the underworld.” “We broke up! Period!” “Wait, wait, wait, wait. NAME, hang on. I'm a changed man, okay? I've got a life coach.” “Back off, demon!” “Never go with a predator to a second location.” “Look, I can see you're mad. You think I'm a total jerk. I get it. But I have changed.” “Why didn't you tell me I'm dead?” “Why don't you just stay here, where it's always fun? Like... guaranteed.” “I just gotta stop using magic on my face.” “I'm so excited to be covered in blood with you.” “Ugh! That's the wrong piece of music! This is gonna drive me crazy. Alright, don't go anywhere. I'll be right back.” “Let's get out of here. This place is the worst.” “No! You! You're infuriating!” “I know you're trying to look out for me, but you have to let me figure things out on my own. I don't need a hero. I need a friend.” “You're right. I should've trusted you. I'm sorry I ruined your night.” “I wallpapered my locker with pictures of you.” “You're right. I wouldn't invite me either.” “Let me sing you some birthday tunes with my mouth sounds.” “Something tells me we were not invited to this party.” “You do that, homie. I'ma get this party started!” “Ugh! This party is a disaster.” “It's hard work making everybody happy.” “That's a particularly stupid plan.” “How could I have been so stupid?” “I'm sorry you had a bad day, but what does that have to do with right now?” “I guess I'm just not cool enough for a guy with a record.” “I've never seen this dude in my life.” “So this is what it's like to be bored to death.” “You put so much thought into this. Gifts are such a great way to show how much you really care about someone. I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I do right now.” “Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever!” “Come on, my dear. Let me capture your beauty-ness on this magnificent adventure.” “Every once in a while, I need to sneak away and fight monsters. It keeps me sane.” “I didn't see you and you didn't see me. But just this once.” “After a victory like this, there's only one thing to do: get Chinese food!” “These are fortune cookies. They can magically predict the future.” “You're a weird girl.” “Eh, previous job experience? Nope. No one's ever been dumb enough to hire me.”

“Weaknesses? I don't have any.” “You make absolutely no sense! Go away!” “Oh, wise and powerful cookies, bestow your sugary prophecies upon me.” “Blindly following these fortune cookies is the best decision I've ever made.” “Guess I'm doomed, huh? Be honest. I can handle it.” “Sorry. It's not the will of the cookie.” “This is really hard to say, but if this is gonna go any further, I want our relationship to have a foundation of honesty.” “Sorry. I should've listened to you. Obviously you know better than a dessert.” “This isn't about learning! This is about love.” “This is definitely one of the weirder places we've been to.” “I can't believe we're actually doing this!” “Oh, he's so cute! I just want to gobble him up!” “More than just "Hello"? Too risky. I may say something dumb. That's why I let the kitten pics do the talking for me.” “I used to think that, but now I'm fifty and all my dreams are in the rear view mirror. The best thing of my life is teaching you, and I hate teaching you.” “I was born to lead. Literally.” “When you give people the freedom to do whatever they want, they might just surprise you.” “Being a leader is easy. Just say yes all the time.” “Please, stop where you are and ask yourself: Is this something you really want to do...” “I really didn't think this through!” “They're not lost, we just don't know where they are.” “Ugh, you're even bad at getting fired!” “Monsters are the bad guys.” “I don't have to be bad. In fact, I've always secretly wanted to be good.” “Actually, that's 100% wrong and you want to do the opposite. Now say you're sorry.” “Yeah. You should just give up.” “Uh, the next time you get the urge to punch somebody, just imagine how it would feel if it happened to you.” “Okay, that was my fault. I assumed you knew this, but... you can't eat children.” “Yeah, you know how the news sensationalizes things. I still believe you can be good.” “The key to being good is ‘do unto others as you'd have them do to you’.” “How could you do this?! I was trying to help you!” “Sometimes there's a sense of satisfaction in doing things yourself.” “Either rise up and conquer, or wither here and die!” “I want you to use that time to think about what you've done!”

[autisticandroids]

Director's commentary on "hunger" PLEASE. I cannot stop thinking about the yonic abyss.

[the goal here is to provide a director's commentary, a la the one i did for i fold in half so easily, though obviously less comprehensive. this commentary is for hunger.]

i don't have a TON to say about hunger. but. well. ok. first of all. yonic abyss castiel comes from this post by @allegedlyopposed. that's crucial before we start. okay. second thing you have to know is that i was DESPERATELY finishing this ON november fifth. in order to get something posted and i managed it at like 11pm. the third thing is that the original concept for this fic was um. much weirder. as you'll see.

also like, i had a ton of fun writing this fic because like... a lot of endverse cas fic is like. it's About The End. that's what it's about. it's really uninterested in how the endverse related to the rest of the canon except in terms of differences. but the thing about the endverse is like. the point of divergence from the timeline is free to be you and me. that's pretty fucking late! a lot of things that we see happen in canon have also happened to endverse dean and cas. endverse cas sat with dean on a bench and discussed doubts. endverse cas saw dean fall apart in on the head of a pin. endverse cas said "we're making it up as we go." so like, it was a lot of fun to write a fic that is essentially mostly about lazarus rising, framed through the endverse. like it's very explicit that this is like... also how our cas feels. he would just never say it, and may not even have the words to articulate it yet.

“Want some?” Cas says, offering the joint, and Dean looks over at his jailer.

“No, thanks. I, um, don’t partake.” Dean feels his cheeks heat.

Cas laughs, then. It’s a big belly laugh, complete with a coughing fit halfway through. He chucks Dean on the shoulder.

“It gives you panic attacks, I know. I just wanted to see if you’d agree out of embarrassment. You were such a priss about admitting it back in the day.”

i love you weedsocks boy. the thing about dean winchester is that he is a little chihuahua of a man and could never smoke weed he is TOO anxious. however, as an homage to the dean winchester beat sheet. i do believe that he pretends to other people that he smokes weed.

Dean doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t say anything. He sits and he watches Cas smoke, instead.

“-can’t even fucking look at him” is what Dean’d heard this afternoon through the cabin wall. “So you want me to?” came the drawled reply. That’s when Cas had come into Dean’s cabin - Dean’s in the sense that it belonged to his future self, but also Dean’s in the sense that it was where he’d been kept for the past however many hours - and taken him by the arm.

it's crucial to me that endverse cas be mean. that's like. it's the last power that he has, over dean. they both know that cas will follow dean to the ends of the earth willingly, and they also know that dean can't do anything to cas, so it's like. stalemate. dean keeps cas around, and cas makes nasty remarks, and dean gives orders, and cas does what dean says in the end (no pun intended, hah). you know? and it's also about how endverse cas is you know maybe in some ways better off in his relationship with his dean than like, season fifteen cas. more secure, less afraid, possessed of more power and agency. even if when all is said and done it all ends up the same.

Now he’s in Cas’ beaded hippie dreamscape, minus the girls, and he’s not cuffed but he’s pretty sure that if he tried to leave he’d be down before he took four steps. 

look i'm not a dta girlie but that bit in dta where cas just obliterates dean in like the first or second chapter was compelling.

There aren’t really chairs in Cas’ cabin, just a couple big wooden chests all covered in candles, but there’s these fat, plush silky pillows, and the carpet’s real soft. It’s nice as long as Dean sits criss-cross applesauce and doesn’t think of what might be caked into it. It can’t be worse than some of the motel beds he’s slept in, right?

Cas is leaning back on a pile of cushions, one leg bent, the other loose and stretched across the floor. He blows a smoke ring, and Dean can see his throat working. Watches his Adam’s apple bob.

“You used to be a priss about everything. You know, when you had to shoot Jo Harvelle, I held your hair back as you bent over the toilet. It was long for a while. We were hiding out in one of Rufus’ old cabins. Couldn’t get electricity for the clippers.” Cas sighs. It’s a wistful sound. “It's a shame we've got solar panels now. You were so pretty. It fell around your face like…” he trails off, staring at the ceiling. A shiver goes through Dean. “At least we can flip the lights on at Chitaqua.”

cas voice who cares that jo is dead i got to touch your face. gayboy moment of the highest degree.

Dean glances around at Cas’ cabin. There’s no bulb in the single ceiling fixture. Just candles.

also it's crucial that i am positing a prelapsarian time where this dean and this cas WERE happy. they may or may not have been sleeping together (probably yes but it doesn't really matter) (it will become clear as the fic goes on that they have slept together at SOME point, but possibly not until things were falling apart, hard to tell) but they WERE happy. or, more likely, cas was happy. dean was miserable - he had to put down his friends like rabid animals - but cas and dean were holed up together all alone or nearly so, and dean was soft and vulnerable, enough so to both let his hair grow out and to let cas hold it back. like this was clearly an idyllic time for cas, specifically, because the world may have been ending but he had dean, in a meaningful, serious way.

Cas’ head flops to the side, and it would have felt unintentional except his eyes are so clear and bright and now they’re staring right into Dean’s.

“C’mere.” Cas cricks a lazy finger at him, and he might have said that in his chill stoner voice but God, it's a command. It's an order, and Dean can't disobey. Cas used to lead armies, and Dean can feel it in the smoky air they're sharing.

Dean scoots closer, but Cas pats the cushions beside him.

“Lay down. Stay awhile.” He laughs again, like it’s some sort of joke, but the sound is creaky. Breathy. More like a sigh than a laugh, less like a sigh than a gust of wind through an old house.

Dean lays on his side. Facing Cas. Cas rolls to meet him, and they’re nearly nose to nose. 

Cas reaches over. Runs a hand up Dean’s left side. Gentle. It would be ticklish if he weren’t wearing a shirt.

“You used to be a priss about this, too,” Cas breathes, and kisses him.

It’s soft. Cas’ lips are chapped, but they’re still pillowy. And Cas is warm, his hand solid on Dean’s ribs.

Dean’s eyes fly open. He chokes.

“What?”

This close, he’s treated to quite a show when Cas’ eyes roll.

“Still a priss, then.”

king of negging. there are a lot of things going on in this fic but one of them is that cas wants to fuck dean and is heaping him with the perfect combo of compliments, insults, and commands to make dean want his approval in order to fuck him. and it works. manipulative ❤️

Dean can feel the words against his lips.

Cas flops back onto his back, still watching Dean from the corner of his eye. Dean stays where he is. 

Cas brings a hand up. Cups Dean’s chin. Draws the pad of his thumb across Dean’s bottom lip.

“I can promise you, you’ll get over yourself eventually.” 

Dean licks his lips involuntarily, goosebumps running up his spine, but all he can think of is the man his double shot this morning. It’s called commonplace.

i love it when being gay is a sign of losing yourself. like the thing about endverse dean is that he's a complete ego death for our dean. he does what dean would never do. whether that's coldly kill people he cares about or have gay sex.

“I-” he can’t really speak. He can’t talk to this funhouse mirror image of his friend, this antifuture doppelganger, this Cassandra prophecy. He can’t say who are you. He can’t say who am I.

All he can do is try to prove Cas wrong. Or just try to prove himself.

He takes Cas’ face in his hands. Presses their mouths together with force. Slips his tongue into Cas’ mouth, desperate for a taste of- 

this was about the point where i was like okay if i'm being realistic about dean then i am never getting them into bed together. it's too hard. he's too much of a little bitch about it. i'm gonna need to turn up the "doe-eyed and slack-jawed" slider to max on this one. and on reflection i also just needed him to get manipulated because that was what cas wanted to do. it's enrichment

He feels a little huff of laughter burst from Cas’ chest. Dean rolls, and finds himself straddling him.

“Ooh, forward, ” Cas says when they break apart. Under him Dean can feel Cas’ bony hips digging into his thighs. 

Cas leans back, closes his eyes. Runs two fingers up Dean’s arm, and goosebumps follow. The movement is so easy but Dean can see the tension across Cas’ shoulders. His baggy shirt rides up, and Dean can see just a sliver of soft skin.

i used endverse cas running his fingers up dean's arm in another fic. let it never be said i'm not consistent. anyway i do think cas is a toucher in general and endverse cas, because he fucks constantly, would turn that into a flirting style, you know? and like the thing about cas is he hosts orgies to become a part of something larger than himself and like. touch is part of that. i think endverse cas touches people to hit on them and etc. but he also craves touch and has not been trained out of it as aggressively as canonverse cas was because in canonverse dean really held all the card in that relationship while also like. not being as close to cas. whereas in the nebulous beforetime that i posited previously 1) dean and cas were lovers and 2) they were each other's most important person, depending on each other. it actually seems like cas was more taking care of dean for a while, because dean fell apart when the world ended and cas didn't because like, he had already torpedoed his own life by falling, what did he care.

“Do you know what it was like, having you inside me?” Cas says. Dean’s breath catches, and he can feel his dick perk up.

i hate to write unsubtle sexual arousal like that but needs must.

Cas’ eyes slit open, and he smirks a little. “Get your mind out of the gutter. I meant when I flew you out of Hell.”

this was approximately the point at which i decided that this fic should be normal and not the original weird thing i planned. the thing about castiel mouthgenitalia fic is that i still do desperately want to write it but i'm not sure it adds that much to endverse. certainly not outside the context of this specific fic. i do kinda miss the original scene i had planned where dean was like [pointing between cas' legs] what the hell is that and cas was like popular among the people of camp chitaqua ;). also i have a great fondness for tangibly inhuman endverse cas <3.

“O-Of course.” Dean swallows.

“Anyways. Angels are… we were built by our Father. Or… we were built for our Father. And every angel… every angel has a hollow. At the center. It’s meant for worship. There’s this emptiness inside us, all of us, and it’s meant to be where we receive His love but…” he trails off. Dean thinks about Cas. His Cas. Was he empty? Was he hungry like that? When Anna said that only four angels had ever met God…

when angels are empty. like the thing about angels is that they were built to love and worship god but they LITERALLY never knew him. and they were never supposed to! isn't that cruel?? like even demons are twisted to love something that is present, even if they are tortured and brainwashed into it. angels are literally built FROM SCRATCH to love god and he never planned to be there. evil evil evil.

“And you… you were vicious. When I picked you up. You didn’t want to go, and I think maybe you were terrified of me, and you screamed and struggled and snarled and snapped and I just… I couldn’t hold you. I couldn’t hold you and fight off the demons that were all over the place trying to stop me. So I just… I took you inside. I took you into the place where my Father was supposed to be. And I… God, I don’t remember what it was like, fighting my way out.” Cas sighs. Takes a deep breath. Dean thinks maybe he remembers. Nothing clear. But a cleansing white light, first shining on him, then all around him. And a feeling of…

i love it when cas puts dean in the hollow where god was. worship. deification. consumption. new forms of daddy kink never before invented.

“I know it was bad. It felt like every demon in Hell was trying to stop me. Maybe they were. But all I could feel was you, this feral thing, biting and scratching so deep in me and it was… it was more than I’d ever felt before.” 

i truly do believe that this is the vibes of what happened in canon. when castiel experiences internal abrasion by tooth or claw resulting in fertilization <3.

Dean can feel the blood rushing in his ears. 

“More than the exhilaration of battle. More than the joy of the Song. More than the horror of an abomination like your brother. It was… God.” Cas shifts under Dean, and Dean thinks he can feel the start of a bulge in Cas’ ridiculous hippie pants.

haha did you catch the double meaning. god is a normal exclamation there but it's also like. "it was god" = deifying dean and the experience of having dean in him where god was meant to be.

 “And when I spat you out, I could still feel it. It was terrifying. I was so empty and now I knew what it was like. You gouged pieces out of me I didn’t even know were there. I couldn’t fill it.” 

Cas fingers Dean’s waistband, slipping the tip of his thumb under to caress the soft skin underneath, and Dean’s stomach muscles clench. He feels his thighs go tight against Cas’ hips. It’s just self-preservation to grab Cas’ wrist.

“You know, I tried. I tried to lose myself in the Song for a long time. Angels aren’t really… we’re not like you. Our minds aren’t… fully autonomous.” Dean can feel Cas’ fingers as he starts fiddling with the button on Dean’s jeans. 

[citation]. i love youuuuu hivemind boy.

“The boundaries between my thoughts and my brothers’ are… it’s not clear where the line is. Or it wasn’t, when I still had brothers. But I tried to lose myself in them, to stop being Castiel and just be an angel, but none of them- I was too different. None of them understood. None of them understood what it was like to have been full and then empty again. I was so alone and I wanted…” Cas lays big hands on Dean’s thighs, grasping the meat of them. Dean shivers. Rolls his hips automatically.

i am always very intrigued about cas as a being discovering desire. like i don't really think of cas as a creature that had an independent, unique will before he was sort of forcibly jolted into the world by dean and the mission. like i think that's how most angels are. they are part of a whole and if they sing out of key they get lobotomized. so cas is like. he is really discovering the twin concepts of desire and dissatisfaction at once. he is the freudian baby removed from the breast and forced to experience that separation for the first time. i've written a lot of other fanfiction about this, or, well, at least two. like the thing about cas is that he's kind of learning emotional maturity on the fly, lmao. like he's never had to regulate his own behavior and emotions before, that's always been done with orders and hivemindiness and punishments and lobotomies. cas has never needed to deal with anything like that before. he's an intellectual adult with the level of emotional experience of a toddler, or rather, he starts that way. he's had to work on it. also note: the implication here is that all of this, the trying to lose himself among his brothers, took place during canon season four and happened with our cas as well.

“God, I wanted. I tried everything. Sex, drugs, and even rock and roll.” Cas’ eyes are wide open now. Open, and clear enough to slice right through him. Clear enough to bite right into him. “ Nothing fills me up like you, Dean.”

can't fill it can you? not with food, drink, not even with sex. i don't think endverse cas is truly pulling a dean here as such. the thing about endverse cas is that he is both a genuine hedonist and also "substituting short term pleasure for long term happiness." like the thing is cas does absolutely enjoy sex drugs and rock n roll but he is also like. one, he has lost the communion of heaven, and two, now that he has truly known desire for the first time he can never unknow it, he will always hunger for more. but also... he does just want dean. like dean is what he wants. if he had dean, that would satisfy him. but he doesn't. so he's kinda fucked.

And Dean remembers now. He remembers being on the rack. Off the rack. He remembers Alastair beside him, whispering in his ear as he- and then remembers the light coming. And he remembers the feeling. 

The inescapable terror of prey.

the thing is. okay. the thing is this fic is one more in a very long line of fanfictions by me in which dean is like. he is tortured by the experience of cas' desire for him. like this fic is more on the "cas' desire is terrifying" side. as i said earlier, cas has only just learned what it is to want. thus his desire is not tempered. it is absolute and demanding and predatory. it consumes and destroys. but i'm also just interested in dean's horror of being desired in general. like the thing about dean is that he is the ken doll he is the marlboro man he is the cowboy and he has to be those things and it tortures him and being desired as those things tortures him more and makes it real. and he's spent his whole life being objectified (sexually and otherwise) in the course of his work as a hunter. like, he's played bait and flirted his way through security doors and kissed monsters to get a spit sample his whole life. he's been valued for what his body can do his whole life. he's been having casual sex with random women because it's what a man does or because it's the only human connection he can get, take your pick, his whole life. he spent his formative years as an extraordinarily beautiful teenage boy hanging around bar rooms and motels on the fringes, places filled with gropey drunk adult men. dean's relationship with other people being attracted to him is going to be tortured at best. like that stuff doesn't come up too much in this fic but it's something on my mind generally when the topic comes up. cas may be fixing to eat dean up, but for dean, it feels like all desire is going too eat him up.

Dean shivers, his mouth too dry to speak. He licks his lips instead.

well. i said all that. but it's also a turn-on, being afraid. at least for dean. he wants to be eaten up so bad.

Cas reaches up to Dean’s shoulder, puts a hand on his sleeve, and Dean can feel something pulse from the scar there. From Cas’ brand on him. Cas grabs him, hand over where they both know the handprint sits on his skin, and pulls him down until Dean is folded nearly in half. Until their noses brush, and Dean can feel Cas’ hot breath on his lips.

“So, if I can’t have every part of you in me,” he traces one finger up the line of Dean’s zipper, “the least you can do is give me your cock.”

[serifsans]

"I just want you to know that it's breaking my heart that you won't take me trick or treating and I simply do not know how I will ever recover from this cruel, cruel thing you've done to me," Jean-Paul says.

They're filling goodie bags in the office. They had anticipated they'd go through a lot of them but neither of them quite anticipated the volume of small children coming into the shop, so after a quick trip to the shops to salvage what candy they could off the shelves, JP and Vladimir are trying to restock their supplies before the horde decimates the remaining bags.

This is so hard because when you get down to it, JP's a simple creature with simple desires (to make as much money as possible to prove they're amazing at being human; to be beautiful; to live forever and be adored; to protect the person they love; to raze the entire Bastienn family to the ground and tear out the hearts of those who kept them in that cage for all those years; to figure out why volphs exist; hook up with hot aliens; to be darling) and chiefest among them is the very simple want of shoving your muzzle in a bag of chocolate bigger than your body and going to town. Life is hard.

"You'll live," their boyfriend says because he's a cold, cruel man. "When you turn into a child, it's strange. Please have fun though, yeah?"

Vladimir wasn't even supposed to be in Maroa tonight but here he is. Jean-Paul's not complaining, of course, because they live for when he's here. Most of their relationship has consisted of Vlad vanishing for weeks at a time with little explanation other than business or family (and then sometimes it's because he needs space or because one or both of them are scared of regs and then sometimes it's because he's off pursuing his favorite hobby of chasing after choreographers, which gives JP time to go on Finder dates with as many exciting new aliens as possible) and Jean-Paul's used to it, Jean-Paul understands, Jean-Paul's not going to pretend that they're not a fickle creature themself, but it's lonely. It's very lonely. They spend so much time missing him.

He's been spending more time in Maroa and more time around the shop lately. Vladimir's giving less and less of a fuck if regulators sniff them out and Jean-Paul doesn't have it withing him to chase him off.

"Of course I will, darling. I'm excellent at Halloween," JP says. "Ah. This is unrelated, absolutely unrelated, but it's something I've been thinking about since Vegas."

"Yeah?"

Jean-Paul finishes tying off a bag of candy and doesn't look up from their work.

"Am I pressuring you into giving up your humanity?" they ask.

Vladimir scoffs and they don't have to look up to feel the incredulous look on his face.

"My sweet little Paulie," he says, "do you think you could possibly make me do anything I wasn't going to do anyway?"

Jean-Paul almost argues that yes, actually, he's an aeons old creature from a distant star who barely understands how people work, so they might very well be influencing their unfortunately human boyfriend towards something he only thinks he wants, but they wisely shut their mouth because Vladimir Volchenkov is stubborn as an ox and if he doesn't actually want to do something, nothing on Earth can possibly make him do it. He's met rocks with more give.

"Oh, don't be an ass, darling. I worry. The vampire thing is a poor solution to our problem but I haven't found anything better. Besides, humans are very precious. I just don't want you to lose something if you might want it back later."

Vlad takes his hand in his.

"My love, you do not see it because you would like to not be a volph very much but humans, we're no good. Humanity is something I am happy to be rid of."

Oh, he's doing this again. Jean-Paul suppresses a growl because they're a refined man of business and refined men of business don't growl like dumb little animals, but they do bring his hand up to their mouth and gently nip. This is probably weirder than just growling, actually.

"Vladimir, you absolute turnip, that's bullshit and you know it. So a few humans are rotten? So what? It doesn't mean the rest of them are mushy too."

"I know what I know, Paulie," he says in that tone that means the discussion's final, that it's over, that he's not changing his opinion about the rest of his species and that's that. Vladimir's the most frustrating man in the entire world and if they didn't love him so much, they'd bite him to death.

"Ugh, fine, whatever. I still think you all aren't nearly as bad as you think. Anyway, I just want to be certain that you're really sure."

"We have talked about this for twenty years. It was different when Vera was young. She's a grown woman now with a child of her own and she does not need me. I am tired, Paulie. I have spent all of my life running and hiding (no, do not give me that look, it is not because of you, you know what my brother is, you know why I move) and what do I have to show for it? A big house? Some money? It is nice, yes, but you are nicer. I have to live forever so that you do not spend all of your money on decorative statues."

JP throws a peanut butter cup at him.

"Oh! Oh, oh, oh, I am not going to do that. I'll have you know that I'm extremely fiscally responsible. I just like to have some fun sometimes."

They stick their tongue out at him. Vladimir shuts up him momentarily by shoving a lollipop (blue raspberry, a good flavor) into their mouth.

"Anyway," they say around the candy, "I think it's really important to emphasize that vampirism is not immortality. It just prolongs things a bit if you have vampire blood. It's a bad solution but I don't have anything better."

"Then it gives us more time to figure things out. You fret too much. I think I'd look good in fangs. Pretty sexy, don't you think?"

"All the other volphs will judge me terribly but yes, actually, fangs are sexy but only on you."

They finish putting the goodie bags together and not even an hour later, they have to put together more. This has more to do with Jean-Paul surreptitiously eating candy bars than they want to admit.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember'  yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so  the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Hello

Im texasthegreatdestroyer, and most of my posts are fangics and i plan to display art very soon however, ive been working on a mashup fanfic based comic on my most regarded anime/video game characters and a few OC's called How To Start A Bounty Of Morons. I have four key main characters ans they are: Hei (Darker than Black), Celty (Durarara), Auron (FFX), and my top O.C., Texas Lady Ann Mechanica. Seeing since i run most of my stories on FFX, you can probably tell that this fraction of the story is based on Auron. So that people understand the plot of this segment of the story, ill give a little input on the story. My OC and Auron are afterlife bountyhunters in an equivalence of life or death situation if they dont comply. They are also partners who become very close after a while and this takes an effect when Auron discoverers passively that he is her metaphysical. A metaphysical is a very over powered demon that often fights on behalf of their medium otherwise known as a metaphysical medium and, the metaphysicaland medium relationship is based off of a unbroken bond between the spirit and their medium. For those out there who might throw a fit about misconsumptions of me shipping my O.C. with Auron, the relationship is purely platonic. There is no sexual or romantic connection between the two. I have a strict no shipping OCs with characters from other fandoms or series rule, and I plan to keep it that way. So back to the whole "Auron finds out he's a metaphysical." As he does this, he learns that he has time abilities, in other words time travel and anything related, along with his second partner that he shares the same metaphysical name as and plays the role as his weapon, Omega. Many chapters in, his partner, Texas, we'll have her soul destroyed, and Auron plans to try and fix that by ceasing to play a role in that part of her life, but in order to do that, he has to go back into his past, the time even him and Yuna and his fellow guardians fight Sin for the final time. How the story goes is that Auron, Jecht, and Braska were abducted by a group known as the Elite Federals, One of two continents that exist in a dimension called The Infinitive Waste. Jecht and Braska are spared, but Auron is forced to undergo experimentation to create the perfect soldier. His process of becoming an elite bounty hunter. This is the pathway to Texas, and he's trying to avoid her at all costs in order to save her. By racking his brain to remember and eventually succeeding, he remembers the time of which the abduction took place and goes back in time and tries to get his past self to delay the battle against Sin for at least an hour.

Excerpt:

Auron sits against the wall in the pathway to the main deck of the airship. A familiar but changed character calls out to him from behind a nook.

[???] Hey! You! Over here! Auron! (Whisper)

Auron looks over to find a figure closely resembling him.

[Auron]...Who are you?

[???] Look, this may sound a little hard too believe, but I'm you from the future.

[Past Auron] What?

[Future Auron] There's no time for me to explain, all I can say is that when you get sent, that same evening, you, Jecht and Braska will be abducted. In order to prevent that from happening, you need to delay Yuna's fight with Sin by an hour or two, which ever is preferable.

[Past Auron] Im sorry, I don't know who you are, but thats not happening. If we're to have a shot to kill Sin, it's now. Besides, how do I know what you're saying is true?

[Future Auron] Come on! I look exactly like you, other than a few physical changes! Can you not trust me at all?

[Past Auron] That makes me trust you less.

The two are interrupted by someone. Its Wakka.

[Wakka] Whoaho! Sir Auron! That guy kinda looks like you, ya?

[Past Auron] I don't know him-

[Future Auron] Wakka, Auron's not feeling well, you should tell Yuna to call off the fight for a while.

[Past Auron] Ignore him, I'm fine!

[Future Auron] Are you sure? You seem to a bit pale.

[Past Auron] The only one hear who has discoloration of skin is you.

[Future Auron] Just relay the message.

Past Auron grabs Future Auron by the collar of his chest armor and pulls him out of view. The to go up to the sky deck. There, they continue their conversation.

[Past Auron] Look, I don't know who you are, or what you're after, but you're not getting it from me, so leave me alone!

[Future Auron] If you don't take my advise, you think your life was hell, your afterlife will be worse. Take it from someone who experienced it. They will take away the people you love and you will be fighting to live everyday of your miserable afterlife.

[Past Auron] You're bluffing, and I don't particularly care to hear it.

[Future Auron] Please! Auron! We are the same person, what happened to me will for sure happen to you if you don't do this. All I'm asking is that you delay the battle for one hour.

[Past Auron] That's not going to happen.

Past Auron walks off, leaving Future Auron on his own, he kicks the exterior of the ship out of rage.

[Auron] SHIT!! I didn't realize that I was such a stubborn asshole.

The time goes by as events play out... Later on, the two meet again in the cell that Auron was thrown into after being abducted.

[Past Auron] Ok, I believe you now, what do we do now?

[Future Auron] We? You get to sit in a cell until you get yourself into the same position I'm currently in. Its to late, there's nothing you can do. You'll be the next in line to try and convince our past self. I'm thinking the method you can use is kidnapping.

[Past Auron] So, I kidnap myself?

[Future Auron] Correct.

[Past Auron] To avoid being kidnapped?

[Future Auron] Ideally, yes.

[Past Auron] Tell me, do you realize just how ridiculous that is?

[Future Auron] You're right! We should try to hold a civil conversation with our past self, because that's not nearly as ridiculous! Oh wait, I already tried that and that worked so perfectly the first time! (Sarcasm). That's why we're here now! In the place opposite of where we wanted to be!

[Past Auron] Ok, I can't argue there. How exactly are we going to kidnap our self? We're equally matched, it will not be easy.

[Future Auron] As you go through the system, you'll understand that you are far more powerful than you used to be, that and when the time does come, I'll be there too, so it'll be two against one. Chances are he's not going to win.

[Past Auron] So, we're going to fight our self? This is getting weirder by the minute.

Future Auron goes to leave.

[Past Auron] Wait! Where are you going?

[Future Auron] You've got some experimentation to go through, and I've got some reconnaissance to do.

[Past Auron] Why? Our objective isn't here. Wait, what do you mean, "experimentation"?

Future Auron leaves.

[Past Auron] Wait! Auron? Please come back. I really need to know! Oh no!