#and we plan on paying extra for first class plane trips so i am like. moderately more comfortable cause a 6hr flight sucks ass

[landofgay]

do the resort staff know they're gonna make me cry????

[unmaskedagain]

Marinette’s Week Off

This is a one-shot. Sorry, I kind of forgot Adrien.

           One week. Just one week. Marinette took one week off a year. One week where she didn’t work herself to death as Marinette. Or nearly get herself killed as Ladybug. One week where she didn’t do any favors, any designs, didn’t work in the bakery, didn’t save anyone. A week to relax. A week to meditate. A week to destress and just take care of herself. Just one week every year. To prepare for it she sent reminders to all her friends and family. She posted a flyer on the class bulletin board. Marinette finished all her commission and school work in advance. 

She made Fu aware that Ladybug wouldn’t be active, told Chat Noir that Queen Bee would be his partner while she was gone. Marinette always made sure everyone was prepared for her absence. And made it clear that she would be unavailable. No matter what. She didn’t care if the world was ending.

           However, this year was different than the ones that came before. For starters, Marinette now only had two or three good friends in class, and one or two mediocre ones. She only warned those three people. While she still posted her usual flyer, she had done it knowing it would be disregarded.

           Marinette was no longer class president either; she no longer had to plan class trips, parties, or dances. Or anything of the sort. When she was class president, Marinette always made sure to plan her week off around the class’s busiest time of the year. That year, she didn’t have to so she didn’t. In fact, she planned her week off during the biggest dance of year, the class musical, the class’s big fundraiser. It was usually her most stressful week of the year.

           Not this time.

           On the Friday before her week off, Marinette reminded Bustier of her absence for the next week, and then walked out of class with a relieved smile on her face. She was almost there. Just two more days. She used her weekend to finish up any last minutes details of her vacations; confirm her reservation; spend most of the time with her parents.

           And on the stroke of midnight that turned Sunday to Monday, Marinette got her bags, kissed her parents goodbye and was gone in her Uber. She knew how this week worked. By six am, the ‘emergency’ calls would start; everyone screaming fire. However, she wouldn’t be there to put them out, metaphorical fires or real ones.

Not today, Satan, Marinette thought.

           Marinette got to the airport, slept on the plane ride, arrived at her luxury beach resort, a little after sunrise. She had saved up her money and did extra commissions all year to pay for it. It was beautiful. However, there was just one problem…

“Marinette, love!” Jagged called, somehow looking more awake in the wee hours of the morning than he did at 3 in the afternoon. Penny, however, looked half-asleep. Even Fangs slept on the luggage being moved by a rather fearful looking bellhop.

           Marinette’s parents couldn’t get time off the bakery; it was their busiest time too. Her grandma was in Peru. Mariette needed an adult with her at the resort. Jagged happened to overhear her mother asking if she found a chaperone yet. It wasn’t like Marinette had any other options.

“I have so many Rockin’ plans!” Jagged said. “Scuba diving! Sky diving. Swimming with sharks. Parasailing! Bungee jumping!”

           Marinette narrowed her eyes at her favorite rockstar and honorary Uncle, “Sleep.” She said.

           Jagged waved her off, “We’ll sleep when we’re dead.”

“Sleep,” Marinette hissed darkly.

           As amazing as that all sounded it could wait. Marinette was there to relax, not fight a shark. “Not today, Satan,” She whispered when she checked into her room. Leaving Penny to drag away a protesting Jagger to get some sleep as well. She called her parents to let her she had gotten there safely, called to re-confirm her spa reservation for that afternoon and then check her texts.

           She had gotten quite a few as expected. Chloe wishing her a good vacation and promising to keep an eye on Chat. Luka sent her funny vacation memes. Nathaniel sent pics or didn’t happen texts; he found the possibility of Marinette all people actually taking a vacation hilarious and improbable. She’d show him though.

           Then there were a few texts from her ex-friends. And it seemed like the fires had started…

           When class started on Monday, most didn’t realize that Marinette wasn’t there until Bustier reminded Chloe to remind Chloe about the test next week. They all shrugged it off. Glad not to have to deal with the drama Marinette brought to class.

           When Alya, the new class president, brought up the dance that Friday, things got a little tense.

“We need volunteers,” The glasses-wearing girl said. “People to decorate and to clean up and all that. We also need to get decorations.”

           She received confused looks.

“Isn’t that your job?” Alix asked. “The class president does all that.”

           Alya crossed her arms, “No it’s not my job. I organize and plan but I can’t do everything by myself.”

“Marinette did,” Kim shrugged. “It can’t be that hard.”

“Do you wanna do it?” Alya asked him but he quickly shook his head. “Thought so. We don’t have a big budget. So can anyone chip in for decorations and food?”

           Mylene frowned, “Marinette made all the decorations and food.” They never had to chip in before. “Maybe she’d do it again.”

There were nods. They may not be friends with the girl anymore but she was still very helpful.

“OH! I need a dress,” Rose brightened up the room with her smile. “Marinette made mine last year. It was so beautiful. I’ll ask her to make another.”

           A few of the girls said the same.

“Not gonna happen,” Chloe smirked. “You guys are on your own.”

           Alya shot her a glare. “And we’ll be just fine.” She wasn’t happy about asking her ex-bestie for anything, anyway.

           They were not fine.

           Monday they had all talked a big game about not needing Marinette but by Tuesday, they realized that was a lie.

           Because everything was falling apart.

           Mylene’s musical was Friday, the day before the dance. More than half the class were either in it or helping with it. That meant Alya had barely any volunteers for the Dance committee. And had been reminded by Bustier about the annual fundraiser they did every year to pay for the class trip. Alya had been class president since the beginning of the year, and had been responsible for planning it. She had forgot all about it.

           Alya was confident she managed though. They’d pull in enough money to pay for the entire trip and she’d get to rub it in Marinette’s face that no one needed. Alya hoped Lila was back in time from her trip with Prince Ali to see it.

           In addition, neither she nor Bustier seem to remember that the fundraiser was always biggest because it was the last one of the year. Marinette usually had done several different ones by then.

           Mylene was struggling. None of the sets were done. The costumes were terrible. The entire play seemed to be falling apart. They had forgot to only put up flyers promoting the play but they never even made them. She didn’t understand, normally everything would be going as smooth as silk by then. Silk…

“Marinette,” She gasped. Yes, she remembered, Marinette always helped out with the school plays. The Bluenette would fix the costumes. She’d even help out with the flyers and the set. Mylene pulled out her phone and quickly called her ex-friend. It went to voice mail. She frantically sent a dozen texts, all screaming emergency. But she never got a reply.

           Marinette laid on the beach, drinking virgin Pina Colada, while talking with a boy she met while surfing and subtly eyeing him. He was a seventeen-year-old, tanned, dark haired Adonis, literally named Adonis. He was ripped in a way Marinette had only every previously seen on guys in magazines or on TV. Marinette was fifteen, (Sixteen in just a few months) had grown remarkably into her looks, and smirked a bit every time she caught Adonis eyeing her back.

“I got to go,” Adonis said. “Work.” He leaned a bit closer to Marinette. “If you wanna drop by, I wouldn’t mind. Maybe we can go for a swim together.”

Marinette flushed with excitement and blushed a lovely pink by the offer, “That sounds amazing! What do you do?”

           He grinned a sparkling white smile that lit up his gray eyes, and caused Marinette to let out a dreamy sigh. “I work with my dad. We do underwater scuba tours and explore sea wildlife and dormant underwater volcanos. We just got be careful to avoid sharks.”

           Marinette’s fell open, and she just stared at the older boy for a moment, “I’m a little busy today. But can we meet up later,” She squeaked.

           They said they goodbyes. And once Adonis was out sight, Marinette’s eyes narrowed, “Not today, Satan.”

           An image of the first time saw Adonis suddenly floated to the front of her mind. Adonis coming out of the water, with his surfer board and red swim trucks, running towards dry land.

           Marinette took a deep breath to stead herself; fight the urge to go running after Adonis. Because there was no way in hell she was going to deal with a “Dormant” volcano. And she didn’t mess with sharks. Neither did Jagged anymore and he had to learn his lessons the hard way. He was lucky to come back with all his limbs.

           By Wednesday, everyone was panicking. Alya refused to give in and attempted to rally her troops; with a divide and conquer plan. Lila had even come back early and graciously offered to take time away from her busy schedule to help. Alya decided they’d work on the play first. Then prepare for the dance, it shouldn’t take that long to decorate anyway, Alya had guess. Then finally they work on the fundraiser.  Everything would go perfectly.

           …Everything went wrong.

           They worked the entire morning on the Mylene’s musical. They tried to work on the costumes. But they had no one who could fix the costumes. Any tailor they went to cost an arm and a leg. Lila’s personal tailor was away helping the Duchess of Manchester with her wedding dress. Max could print flyer but only generic ones. Not the creative ones Marinette had always made. And it wasn’t like they could ask Nathaniel for help without him spitting acid at them. The sets had to be rushed; and ended up poorly painted. Not even close to as good as the ones Marinette had help do the year before and even worse than the ones other classes had done. To make matters worse, the light fixtures they had installed started a small fire.

           Mylene had a full blown panic attacked that caused one of the strongest Akuma Queen Bee and Chat Noir had ever faced.

           The musical had taken up most of the day. So Alya and the class spent the rest of it and most of the night trying to prepare for the dance. The problem was their budget was small. Apparently it had always been that small which had shocked Alya and the others as they remembered the amazing dances Marinette had always thrown. The only decorations came from the local party story and were as cheap as possible. But they hadn’t gotten nearly enough when they got to gym and fully realize the size of it. But most of their budget was already shot on what they did get.

           While for the last few years, Marinette’s had supplied most of the food for the dances from the bakery. It was clear to Alya that, it wouldn’t be happening. Most of the class had been banned from the shop. Alya ended up having to buy dollar store chips and drinks; and ended up with a cliché fruit punch bowl.

           Everyone got in trouble with their parents for being out so late. Even if they had been at school. All the kids were exhausted and overly stressed. When Alya got home that night, she got a text from Nino that caused her to burst into tears. His DJ gear had fried. They had no music for the dance.

           Not to mention Alya hadn’t even thought about the fundraiser. What was she going to do? What could she do?

           Alya cried herself to sleep. Knowing that in the morning she’d have to swallow her pride and call in the big guns. She needed Marinette. They all did.

           Marinette was having the time of her life. She laughed as let Heinrich and Mila twirl her around the dance floor. She was at a local teen club, out late, and truly partying for the first time in her life. He was a sixteen-year-old, six foot tall, blond, gorgeous fut-baller, with cheekbones that could cut glass. He had come to the city with his team for a charity match all the way from Germany. Mila was a beautiful redhead from Ireland, with startling blue eyes and a face dusted with freckles. She was a futballer too and was the most competitive person Marinette had ever met.

           Marinette had met the futball players, the girls’ team and the boys’ team at the beach. When the girls realized they only had five plays to the boys’ six and needed another girl. They saw Marinette alone and invited her to play. They all had a blast. Afterwards, they invited her to the club that night.

           Marinette had danced with everyone. However, somehow she had found herself smashed between Heinrich and Mila, more often than anyone else.

           The three laughed their way off the dance floor when Tonya, a local girl with green hair, and a futballer herself, had waved them over.

“We’re going to Fairy Ridge,” Tonya shouted over the music.

           Marinette’s interest was piqued. “Fairy Ridge?”

           Tonya answered happily, “It’s beautiful at night. An underground cave, near the ocean. It has this opening at the top and you can see all stars. It has a bunch of colorful crystals that glow in the moonlight, and fill up the cave.”

“Sweet,” Mila said, her arm still around Marinette. “Sounds like a party, mate.”

           Everyone agreed quickly. But Marinette wasn’t too sure. It was really late to the point where Jagged would be proud when she got back. Penny had made Marinette promise to avoid doing anything that would make Jagged proud; apart from the Bluenette’s usual awesomeness of course.

“You are coming, yes, Marinette?” Heinrich gave her his most charming smile that made Marinette go weak in the knees.

“Marinette, the ridge is so cool,” Tonya exclaimed, a bright smile on her face. “It’s supposed to be magic. They say fairies used to really live there. It’s cursed. They say all who enter are given a test of worth. Those who pass are stolen away to live under fae rule forever more as a fairy.”

           Marinette just looked at her. She thought of Tikki, the small magical god of creation, who was enjoying her vacation in the luxury sweet as well. When Marinette left her, she had been in a bowl of cookies finally getting caught up on Game of Thrones. A god who’s power turned Marinette into a magical superhero. Magical was real. And if A kwami was real, fairies could be too.

           The bluenette pursed her lips, and feigned a look of disappoint, “Sorry, guys. It’s so late. I’m already super passed my curfew. You guys go. We’ll hang tomorrow, okay?”

           The other teens expressed their disappointment, though Mila and Heinrich tried to convince her a bit more as they left the club. Jagger’s personal driver already waited for her.

           Once they had parted ways, Marinette got into the car and drove off. She waved brightly to the backs of the beautiful teens, “Not today, Satan.”

           Thursday, the entire class was freaking out. They had all gotten there early, desperate to try to fix the mess they were in. Even Alya could admit she needed some serious help. They all waited for Marinette to show up. Surely, it had to be back by now, right? They needed her!

           When the school bell rang starting class, and once again, Marinette didn’t appear. Alya nearly screamed. “Where is she?” She asked. “Marinette can’t miss this much school!”

“She’s not replying to my texts,��� Mylene said, her eyes frantic with worry. Her boyfriend Ivan tried to calm her down.

“She never got back to me either,” Rose frowned. “Normally I’d get a bunch of questions asking about the style of wanted for my dress by now.”

           Alya stomped her foot. “Marinette hasn’t answered a single of calls. What part of S.O.S doesn’t she understand? The dance is falling apart. I have no idea what to do about the fundraiser on Sunday. We need her. I swear if that girl lost her phone again…”

“You’ll do what?” Surprising it was Nathanial who asked this. There was silence at his questions. “That’s what I thought. You’ll do nothing. One, because you have no right to text the girl you disowned as a friend and ridiculed for the last year for help. Two, you couldn’t take Marinette in a fight with everyone in this class helping you. And three, you’re the one who turned down her offers to help all year; citing that you didn’t need her. You don’t get to beg for help at the last minute, and be surprised that she can’t do it.” The speech had turned into an angry rant by the end as the once quiet redhead glared at them with poorly concealed disgust.

           Chloe knew bringing Nathanial into their fold had been a smart idea. She sent a vicious smile to the class, “Marinette’s on vacation. She won’t be back until Monday.” Chloe relaxed in her seat. “For her ex-friends; it’s her one week. You should know what that means”

           There were gasps. Alya’s face drained of color. They all knew what that meant. Marinette was gone in the wind, and she wouldn’t come back or answer her phone even if fire rained from the sky as furbys finally revealed the truth of their evilness and declared themselves the new rules of earth.

           They were on their own.

           Lila watched with a frown as her classmates fell apart. She didn’t think this would happened when she got Alya to replace Marinette as class president. Who knew the idiots could survive without the girl?

“No dresses,” Rose realized. All the girls in class looked ready to cry. Marinette always made their dresses, always. What were they going to do? They never saved up any money for a dress because they never had to before.

           Mylene started crying, “The play is ruined.” She sobbed. “I worked so hard on it.”

“What about the fundraiser?” Alix asked. “So much for going to New York or anywhere! Our class trip is ruined!”

           Bustier looked at a loss of what to do as her student began to panic. “Now everyone calm down. Breath.” She said calmly. “It. Will. Be. Fine.”

           Alya paced around the class, her hair wild, her eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep. “Ok, we can do this! I can do this!” She hissed. “I don’t need Marinette. I’ve never needed Marinette!” She looked around at the class. “None of us do. Anything she can do, we can do better, right?” Some looked unsure but Alya manage to rally everyone. “We can get our own dresses!” She yelled. “We can decorate our own dance. We fix the school play. And we will do the fund raiser. Without her, who need that bully anyway?”

           Nathaniel and Chloe shared a look and rolled their eyes. This would be good.

           The next few days would go down in Bustier’s class history as the worst three days of the students’ lives. And the most embarrassing.

           Barely anyone showed up for Mylene’s musical. None of the costumes were finished. The sets were a disaster. The actors were so frazzled, they couldn’t remember their lines. Three people walked out. One of them was Kim’s grandmother. Kim who had been one of the lead actors.

           On the day of Mylene’s play, Marinette woke up from her second nap of day to Penny banging on her door. When the bluenette opened it, the woman screamed, “Get ready!”

“What?” Marinette yawned, still half-asleep.

“Get. Ready. Now,” Excitement shown in the older woman eyes. She bounced around the room, opened Marinette’s closet and started throwing out clothes. “Hurry!”

“Why?” It was her vacation. Marinette didn’t want to rush. Or move.

“Zac Efron,” Penny squealed. That got Marinette’s attention and it was all Marinette need to shoot to attention and start scrambling to get ready. “Tom Holland, and Zendaya are filming a movie on an island close by. Jagged got us passed to go set.”

           As Marinette got dressed she asked, “What’s the movie about?”

           Penny gave a dreamy sigh, “Pirates and adventures. It’s a musical. Zendaya plays a kickass pirate who takes control of her father’s ship after he dies to rescue her genius half-brother, played by Tom Holland, who managed to figure out the location of the greatest treasure in all of history, from the evil Pirate King, played by Zac Efron.”

“Now that’s a musical I’d watch,” Marinette finished her make up in the mirror.

“And get this!” Penny paused for dramatic effect. “Harry Styles is the love interest. He supposed to be on set sometime this week.”

           Marinette screamed.

           They took a helicopter to the island. It was the best day of her life. She got to meet the goddess that was Zendaya, Her real life prince charming Tom Holland, and the man of her dreams Zac Efron. They were nice. They were sweet. They took so many pictures and videos with her.

           When Jagged mentioned Marinette designed most of his wardrobe. Marinette even got to show off her sketch book she had brought when the cast was too busy and it got boring. Zendaya commissioned a dress. She nearly right there.

           Then the director got a call, “Okay Harry’s arrived. He’s waiting at the cave. Time to shoot the act 5, scene 1.”

           They all moved to leave.

“Cave?” Marinette found herself asking.

           Penny nodded, “Its historically accurate. The real life Captain Wolfblood, the guy who’s treasure everyone wants, supposedly buried his there. Pirates fought and died there all the time trying to find it. Supposed to be cursed. So whoever died was bound there for eternity; their ghosts protect the treasure. Killing all who enter their domain.”

           Marinette found herself stopping in her tracks, “Pirate Ghosts.” She stated. “Cursed treasure.”

“Harry Styles…” Penny sang, causing Jagged to give her a sour look.

           Harry Styles… For the first time that vacation Marinette was tempted to go. Tempted to risk pirates’ curses and murderous ghosts just to see the man who had caused ten-year-old Marinette to write Mrs. Harry Styles in her diary for a month.

“I actually have to facetime my parents,” Marinette frowned. “Reception terrible out here.”

           After promising to meet them for dinner, Marinette booked it off the island. As it faded from sight, and all her wishes of being the future Mrs. Harry Styles burned, she whispered, “You stepped of your game. I’m impressed.” She glared at the window. “But Not today, Satan.”

           The dance was a catastrophe. Everyone in class could admit to that. All the girls wore their dresses from the year before. For the first time, there was no live performance. Just Nino’s play music from his phone. Until it died midsong. They forgot to get helium for the balloons, so they had to blow them up themselves. The chips were stale. The punch tasted like rotten bananas. No one alerted the proper staff regarding the dance so no one warned the janitor not to wax the gym floor the night before. Five kids hurt themselves. Alya forgot to get chaperones. And found Damocles and Mendeleiev shut down the entire dance before it even got passed its first hour.

           The night of the dance would go down as the best night of Marinette’s life. The director from the day before had liked Marinette so much that gave her the role of Lunaris, mermaid princess, originally played by an actress who had backed out of the role at the last second. Like literally right before they were supposed to shoot her scenes. It was a small role; Marinette didn’t have many lines and only two songs to herself (and fillers song lines throughout the movie). Plus she died. (The entire part took five days to film, and Marinette ended up staying on her vacation an additional two days. Her parents instantly approved; wanting their daughter away from the drama of her ex-friends. However, Marinette would be called in for additional reshoots and scenes, a month later. Then more after that as they would expand her role) She spent the entire time in a mermaid costume. Up until the last act of the movie.

           However, her character was in love with Harry Styles’ character, a mermaid prince who became human for chance to win the love of Zendaya’s character. Her character more or less had been the prince’s childhood best friend who never admitted to being in love with him until it was too late. She had spent the entire movie supporting him to win the main character’s heart. Her first song was sang as she helped him escape the underwater kingdom to go to his true love while she hid her own; choosing to put him before herself. The next day it was revealed that they were supposed to have been betrothed and united their kingdoms. Her second song happened after she chose to fight on land to save her friend and taking a killing blow for him; she died singing to the prince about not waiting to tell someone you love until its’ too late; especially if the love’s worth dying for. Or walking on land for.

           After shooting her scenes for the day; she was invited by the cast to go meet Chris Heimsworth who was vacationing at a nearby island resort. They were going to go budging jumping of the highest mountain on the Island, near shark infested waters. Again Marinette only had one thing to say to that, “Not today, Satan.” She was not going to fight a shark. Not that week. No matter how much she loved Thor. (She’d later find out Tom Hiddleston was there and cry.)

           The fundraiser had cost more than it raised. That was all anyone was willing to say on the subject. Particularly Alya who was missing her eyebrows.

           The day of the fundraiser, the Day Marinette was supposed to return home, was bliss. At the end of it, Marinette found herself watching the sunset with Jagged and Penny.

“We should visit mermaid isle,” Penny suggested. “I heard it’s magical. There’s a spot that grants wishes… At a price.”

           Marinette didn’t bother to ask for anymore. She just smiled, “Not today, Satan.”

           The next morning, the Monday Marinette should have already been back home, instead she was getting ready to shoot some more scene for the movie. Then she got a call.

“Hey Marinette!” Kimi, the director, said. “We were hoping you could come in early today. We have to shoot your death scene.”

“Oh! Sweet! Where?”

“Shark cove. It will be perfect,” Kimi said cheerfully. “This time before your last breath, Harry’s going to kiss you goodbye. So eat a mint.”

           Marinette mind froze. Kiss… Harry? “Shark cove?”

“Yeah, we’ll have to be careful not to attract any, you know?” Kimi sighed. “It’ll be a bit dangerous. You okay with that?”

           The bluenette wanted to scream no way. But it was a new week. “I’m there,” She said firmly. For a kiss from Harry Styles, she’d do anything.

           Vacation time was over. Marinette was going to fight a shark.

           When Marinette returned to school on Wednesday, it was to the frustrated faces of her classmates. None of them talked to her. Just glared coldly. Though Alya did give her a sarcastic, welcome back.

           Marinette just shrugged and went to sit at her desk next to Chloe and Nathaniel, who were both grinning.

“How was it?” Marinette asked them.

           Nathaniel smirked, “Epic! Three fires. Two poisonings. A kid broke his leg. Four more ended up in the emergency room.”

“The play was a disaster,” Chloe added. “The dance was shut down after an hour. The fire department came to the so called fund raiser. You were gone for little more than a week and these morons nearly got themselves killed like four times.”

“We got in on video!” Nathaniel laughed.

           Marinette laughed.

           She looked at the stressed and embarrassed students of Bustier’s class, even the teacher looked worse for wear.

           Marinette smirked.

           Somebody obviously needed a vacation. Or rather… Everybody.

[songofsaraneth]

an incomplete list of the Bullshit ive gone through this year (2021 only), for personal edification:

I am in grad school trying to do research as well as TA a lab class during a global pandemic

My car is broken into in late February outside of my apartment. $1700+ of my backpacking/camping gear and personal items were stolen from it. Ironically they did not find the $20 cash I had. 

Car battery begins mysterious dying if left overnight and have to call for rescue from AAA 4 separate times over the course of March. I suspect it is related to being broken into but can’t prove it without a mechanic’s diagnostics.

First mechanic I bring my car to does nothing for the entire MONTH they have it, except break my air conditioning of all things. I live in a desert. It is now 90º every day. At one point they call me to say they can’t get the back doors to open. I walk 2 miles back to them from campus and demonstrate how the automatic doors work on a 2005 minivan. I begin to have regrets about my mechanic choice but the sunk fallacy cost keeps me there for several weeks.

Mid march I also wake up one day to severe jaw pain/a weird “loose” feeling, like my mouth is slanting sideways. It is midterms and I do not have time for this, so I take a lot of ibuprofen and eat soup for a week. After 3 days I shove pillows and blankets around my face one night to keep my jaw aligned and when I wake up the next morning it is severely tight instead of loose, and I have to carefully stretch it open whenever I leave my mouth closed for more than an hour. I guess I just have TMJ now.

At this point I am walking everywhere until bike supplies arrive to fix my flat tire since the bike store is too far away to walk to; including walking back and forth to campus since I can only bring 2-4 out of 8 students into the lab spaces at a time and so effectively have to run each weekly lab 2-4 times per week; as well as going back and forth for greenhouse experiment monitoring/helping undergrads on our NASA contest project

Early April I go to the dentist for a crown on one of my back molars, which I must pay for out of pocket because my new dental insurance purchased when I moved last September has a 1-year waiting period and so will not cover it ($1200). Stretching my jaw open so far for the procedure reignites my new TMJ back to high pain levels.

While still waiting on car in mid-April I have a severe averse reaction to the second dose of the Covid19 vaccine, resulting in painful ulceration of all the soft tissues in my body (mouth, stomach, genitals). It is a very bad time for 3 days and I book an urgent care appointment for the first time ever.

Urgent Care nurse-practitioner does not believe me when I describe what’s happening, and misdiagnoses me with herpes.

I am still biking everywhere but now I’m extra mad and in pain about it so take car back from mechanic so I can get groceries etc. I make an appointment with the dealership but it will be a week until they can take it. In the meanwhile I have to drive it every 8 hours so it won’t die which means getting up at 2am to drive it for 20 minutes in the middle of the night so it will still turn on in the morning. 

I have a terrible reaction to the numbing cream given to me for the painful open sores over my body, because of a lifelong mint sensitivity, resulting in an even greater amount of pain

The dealership can fix my car over the following week but its $1800 and now insurance isn’t sure they want to cover it after all

Herpes test comes back negative and nurse apologizes profusely and recommends a non-mint OTC numbing cream alternative that works (yay) and a numbing spray that does not work because it turned out to use an alcohol based propellant which should not be combined with open wounds esp on the genitals (ouch ouch ouch). I try to tell the nurse why I was right about my diagnosis and she was wrong but she still believes it was a latent virus of some other variety and and not an immune response alone, despite the published case studies I have brought to back me up. I decide I have bigger hills I need to die on right now and stop arguing. Sores persist into May but eventually do go down and numbing cream keeps me moderately functioning.

Car is fixed and I can drive again but it takes 2 hours of crying on the phone to my insurance company for them to agree to cover the cost of repair

I make a primary care appointment for the first time in years so I can have a doctor in this state if something like this happens to me again, in June I do intake/bloodwork/set up appointments to check out some other issues ive been having

Grad school finals happen which i wont get into but Yeah. Finals stress triggers another outbreak of canker sores, but mostly clustered in my mouth and only 2 on my vulva rather than 8-12. I eat only soup for another week. 

I get a referral to the local mental health clinic and call about setting up an appointment for an ADHD evaluation. They tell me to download and send in some paperwork and they will call when they have available appointments

I am supposed to be doing all my labwork over the summer but the committee member I need escapes my clutches and we don’t manage to set up a meeting to plan it out/for him to explain the protocols until late June

Bloodwork shows I am critically low in vitamin b12 and low in D, which may explain some of why I am so tired all the time

Ultrasound shows a 1.8cm mass in the adnexa near my left ovary. There are several options for what it can be (folicular cyst, other kind of cyst, tumor, ectopic pregnancy i nearly laugh at my Dr and reassure her the last one is not possible if nothing else). It may go away on its own or it may not. Follow up scan in 2 months

I remember I was supposed to email forms to the mental health clinic and finally send those in mid July. It seems cruel to make me be the one to remember this considering I am calling about a formal ADHD diagnosis.

I also finally pin everyone relating to my labwork down and have a follow up meeting + make a list of what we need to order, but the staff who place orders are on vacation and when they get back several reagents are backordered

I have my follow-up ultrasound. The tech takes lots of photos which indicates the mass is still present, but I won’t know any details until my next PCP appointment when they send over the analysis to her in mid-August

Beginning of August the reagents I need for the first steps of the process arrive exactly 1 day before I leave town for a wedding and the lab manager is about to leave town for the entire next week

After the wedding, severe thunderstorms and tornados trap me in Chicago for 4 extra days. I spend a lot of time at the airport or on my way between the airport and my parents house. A facebook friend gets video of the funnel clouds which at least gives me something to sadly email my advisor and committee members when I have to join our planning meeting from my gate at O’Hare

I lose my drivers license at the security checkpoint on my last trip through the airport and don’t realize until I am boarding the plane because of course that is happening to me now

On the shuttle from El Paso back to Las Cruces after this ordeal the driver stops and picks up a box labeled HUMAN BLOOD and puts it in the trunk and i am too tired to care anymore

I stay up all night making the world’s most pitiful r graphs for my meeting the next morning and everyone takes pity on me and does not call out how useless they are

I spend the weekend trying to motivate myself to actually go into the lab and start my procedures, and fail to leave my apartment. This reminds me it has now been a month (Aug 15th) since I sent in my paperwork and the mental health clinic has still not called me back about up an appointment

I get overwhelmed with Everything and make this list

So that’s where I’m at at the moment. And this doesn’t even include anything from 2020 thats just been continuous like, y’know, a global pandemic and having a bad breakup of a 4 year relationship and moving to a new city where I know no one for grad school etc. I feel like I’m falling apart/unable to do all the shit I need to right now but you know what? Actually its been a really bad time and maybe falling apart a little is justified ;_; 

[zhongli-simp-blog]

Cafe Encounter

Pairings: Lee Jong-Suk xMale!Reader

Genre: Fluff

A/N: My first time writing for an Kdrama Actor and I apologize if I got anything wrong I did as much research before writing this. If I made any mistakes I apologize I only just started watching him.

“Come on Y/N we are going to miss the flight!” Your best friend yells as you finish putting the last of your belonging into the suitcase. “I’m coming!” You reply while shutting the bedroom door meeting your friend in the living room. “About time, now on to the airport to start our long-awaited vacation!” she said excitedly. We have been planning this trip to Korea for months and nothing was going to stop us from enjoying it. After getting your bags checked in and getting onto the plane you and your friend started looking at the recommended restaurants and local sights. 

After what felt like forever on the plane it finally landed in Seoul, Korea, both of you taking in the view of the unfamiliar city. After multiple failed attempts at getting a taxi, you both finally got one and headed to the hotel. You both decided it was best to get separate rooms to save extra money to spend on other activities, “Woah” you say walking into your room able to see the view of the city from your window.

You and your friend both got done unpacking and decided to go out and explore more of the city, luckily while preparing for the trip you and your friend took the time to study Korean to make communication easier. While strolling through the city you both came across a cafe that made you seem broke just by looking at it, your friend seemed to know about it just by their huge grin. “Finally I found it!” they said excitedly pulling you inside seeing 89mansion in bright light on the outside.

Your jaw dropped at how long the line was, you both took your place in line enjoying the calming music. Almost everyone in the Cafe started humming or singing the current song playing, you recognized it from While You Were Sleeping but didn’t know it enough to jam along with everyone else. The line started moving a little faster but was still pretty long.

You started to zone out not really focusing on anything until you heard the familiar OST from Itaewon Class come on and big grin appearing on your face started humming to the song. Midway through the song, you felt an arm being draped over your shoulder lazily. “You know it’s kinda insulting that you know this song but not the song from one of my dramas,” you look over and see a guy slightly taller than you with bright brown eyes and you couldn’t advert your eyes from his features.

“Well I was unfamiliar with the song,” you say trying to shrug the stranger’s arm off of you but failed to do to his strength. He scoffed acting fake offended “you came into my cafe and don’t even know the shows I was in,” It took you a while to process what he was saying. He leaned in closer so only you can hear what he was saying “I will forgive you since you are so cute,” he says, and before you could say anything back your friend quietly gasped.

“Oh my god yo-yo-you’re Lee Jong Suk,” Your friend says quietly trying not to cause a huge scene in the cafe. You finally recognized who he was and felt dumb, not able to remember but you weren’t entirely at fault since you only saw one of his dramas, but your friend always talked about him. You then finally broke away from his arm to switch places with your friend so she can talk to him better since you knew that she liked him.

He stayed with you both all the way to order our coffee, he insisted to pay but before he could place his card you already paid the clerk causing him to let out a small pout. You and your friend found a spot next to the window and Jong Suk joined along sitting on the inside patting the seat next to him for you, But you urged your friend to sit there and sat on the opposite side. 

“So what brings you here?” Your friend starts by asking him, “I like to pop in every once in a while when I get some free time.” He said with a bright smile and you couldn’t help but feel butterflies just from his smile, “But I saw him humming the music and thought he was cute.” He said pointing at you making both you and your friend look at him in shock, “wait you are gay?” Your friend asks with a slight disappointment in her tone “no, but I am Bisexual,” he admits and her smile returned.

“Where are you two from?” He asks “We are from the states” your friend response quickly, you just continue looking at the window trying to show Jong Suk that you weren’t interested so he can move his attention to your friend even if you did develop feelings for him. But your many attempts failed when he kept asking you questions.

While sitting in the cafe you all lost track of time and started making your way out the door. Jong Suk joined walking in the middle of you and your friend trying not to be rude to her but also trying to be next to you. You felt his hand graze against yours and you can feel the spark run up your arm causing a blush to appear, he had a small smirk on his lips like he knew what he was doing.

You and your friend both said your goodbyes to Jong Suk and made your way to your floor, “I know Lee Song Suk likes you” your friend said and you felt guilty about it, “I am sorry I had no intention for him to like me. I tried everything to make him focus on you.” You admitted, she only nodded and went into her room as you went into yours.

As you were laying on your bed feeling guilty you heard what sounded like pebbles being thrown at your window, you look out and see Jung Suk waving at you to come down. You sighed and complied and heading outside, he had this million-dollar smile on his face. “I shouldn’t do this, my friend, she really likes you and I don’t want to hurt her,” you admit and just grabbed your hand and pulled you with him “let’s go for a walk,” he said ignoring what you said.

You both walked in the nearby park lit by the street lamps since it was dark outside, he went and wrapped his arm around your waist bringing you closer to him. “Tell me, Y/N why can’t we do this,” he asked stopping at a bench pulling you to sit with him. “Because my friend likes you, and I do not want to hurt her. She has liked you for a long time so I can’t take with away from her.” 

At the end of it, Jong Suk had a huge smile which made you confused “What?” You ask “you never said you didn’t like me,” you tried to find an excuse but couldn’t cause he was right, you did like him but you held those feelings to yourself or at least you tried but already Jong Suk was able to read you like a book. The night ended pretty quickly walking back to the hotel his hand loosely intertwined with yours with the option to pull away clear but you didn’t. “Tomorrow I want to take you out on a date, is that okay?” he asks innocently and you nod accepting his request. 

The next morning you were in the bathroom doing the usual routine of shower, brushing teeth, and cloth- you stop looking around realizing you didn’t bring any in with you. You open the door with only a towel around your waist. “Stupid Lee Jong Suk making me put effort into my look,” you mumble to yourself looking for an outfit to wear until you hear a cough behind you.

“Holy shit!” you jump when you turn around and see Jong Suk sitting on your bed with messy curly hair a grey tank top and dark grey sweats. “Wha-How did you get in?” you ask trying to catch your breath. He only laughs as you see him eye you your body and you felt your body heat up from embarrassment, “your friend had an extra key and gave it to me.” He admitted holding up the spare key card “I’m gonna kill her,” you scoff. 

He got up from the bed and started walking closer to you making you take a step back only to be blocked by the wall, he stopped only inches away making the height difference clear. He made the same smirk again from before. He leaned down making you uneasy about his intentions, he came back up with an outfit holding them out to me “change into these.” A breath you didn’t know you were holding finally releasing, heading to the bathroom hiding the oncoming blush.

You finished changing going back out to meet with Jong Suk who was now laying on the bed with the sunlight making his skin shine. Jong Suk looked up at you biting his lip, “damn I think you need to be mine already with that outfit.”  

If he keeps up with all these compliments I am going to turn into a permanent tomato. 

A/N: I might make a part 2? Possibly? Maybe? 

[andsmile]

in the last rvd tie-in book, the death of a cheerleader, it mentions varchie was planning a trip to fiji for them to go on after senior year’s over (rip trip to fiji), how do you think it would happen if they were still together and could go? 🥺

i think archie would want to go on a budget. 

veronica would hear the word budget and be like “haha you’re adorable”, 

and then they would argue a little because archie is being stubborn about it. “i can’t let you pay for an international trip full of luxury, if we’re going to fiji it’s gonna be in a way i can afford,” and she makes some comment about “does that mean our romantic getaway starts with you flying coach while i’m on first class?” that gets him sad and salty. 

at some point, veronica is just over it in general, and says “okay, you can plan everything, i have things to do.”

archie takes the job of planning their trip seriously and decides they’ll both fly coach. and rent an airbnb. it’s fiji, it can’t go wrong even if it goes wrong, and it will be good for veronica to experience something different. they’re going to college soon! there’s a big world out there and she can’t think it’s all going to be rainbows and butterflies!

he buys the chepeast flight ticket he finds -- even if it has about three transfers (charlotte to los angeles to new zealand to fiji) and they’ll take 37 hours to get there, but you only live once -- and rents an airbnb that looks good on paper. then, he makes a whole itinerary with boat rides, snorkeling, diving, all kinds of adventures.

when the day of the trip comes, she has three louis vuitton suitcases and he has this big backpack. he says he didn’t really get checked-in luggage and she tells him not to worry about it. she has to pay extra for her luggage to be checked in but doesn’t complain about it. she’s strikingly calm.

archie hasn’t paid to reserve their seats either -- he didn’t even know they had to pay extra if they wanted to get seats together -- so that’s how he ends up on a window seat in row 42 and veronica on an aisle seat a few rows ahead. he gets sad that they’ll have to fly separately. maybe a kind soul will switch places? it’s just one of the planes they’re gonna catch anyway, it’s fine. 

she gives him a kiss and says “see you in LA.” it is very weird that she’s being so cool and collected about this. it freaks him out a little.

it’s a -- big -- man and his wife who sit close to him. a couple, damn it. archie thinks the woman is going to sit on the middle seat but she ends up on the aisle and the man, who doesn’t look very friendly, elbows archie closer to the window. a few minutes later, the unmistakable sound of veronica lodge’s giggling piques his attention. he glances over the seats to see the flight attendant -- some tall, good looking dude -- talk to her about something. “oh, thank you so much!” she says because, apparently, the flight attendant gave her an extra blanket. 

and an extra smile.

well. at least she won’t be cold.

about one hour into the flight -- three to go -- the kid in front of him reclines the seat, leaving archie with even less space to move. there’s also the issue of archie’s legs that start to cramp. he didn’t think it would be so uncomfortable for a tall guy. honestly, it’s kind of an absurd, the tickets weren’t even that cheap. the man besides him keeps dozing on and off and his wife apologizes when there’s some snoring.

when the man does wake up with a shake of the plane, archie asks if he can go to the restroom. the couple takes a little bit to readjust and get up, giving him some space. he walks past veronica’s seat. she looks comfortable with her blankets over her legs. her tray table is opened and it seems like she’s set her own personal spa salon over it while she does coats of nail polish, looking content.

“hey babe, you okay?”

“i’m great. you?”

archie’s legs are sore and he feels claustrophobic, thirsty and hungry, but he says he’s okay too. he leans down to give her a quick kiss before an old lady asks him for passage, making him move. this is so cramped, what the fuck. he envies all the space veronica has because her legs are so tinier next to his. but he’s great. this is fine.

“sir, i’m gonna have to ask you to return to your seat?” the good-looking flight attendant shows up out of thin air. archie narrows his eyes. “you’re disrupting the passage.”

back to his seat -- he swears that its even smaller now -- archie starts daydreaming about sitting together with ronnie and drinking champagne, talking about everything they were going to do when they got to the island. it was their first actual trip together. as adults. he wonders if he was a little... bitchy for not accepting her help.

the kid in front of him definitely farts. archie covers his nose with his hand and looks down at his wrist watch. how come there’s still two and a half hours only on this flight?

when they finally, finally, hallelujah, land on LAX, he meets veronica outside. she looks better than him for sure, more rested, her nails painted and her hair up on a bun and her sunglasses on. archie is starving, sore, over it, and they still have 3948493 hours ahead of them.

“i am sorry,” he holds her by the waist.

“and why is that?”

“because i ruined our trip by trying to go on a budget.”

“oh, archiekins.” she tip toes to kiss him. it makes him feel a little better. “on a budget, without a budget, what matters to me is that we are going to have our summer together, just the two of us, in a magical place. i would walk with you to fiji,” she says. “swim. whatever.”

his heart melts a little. he is completely in love with this girl. “still... flying coach really sucks and we still have, i don’t know, thirty hours to go.”

veronica smiles, her hands wrapped around his neck. “is this a good time to say that i could upgrade us for the next flight?”

“isn’t that too late?”

“it’s never too late for a lodge, lover boy.”

[blazerina]

Ethically Questionable // Open Heart AU // Chapter 1

Miami Heat // Ethan x Maggie (MC)

Word Count: 4458

A/N: This is chapter one of our Ethically Questionable AU that @parkerattano & I dreamt up late one evening. I literally thought I dreamt the conversation when I talked with her about it the next morning. Check out the moodboard below that she put together – isn’t she amazing? Mad props to her because all of this is pretty much her idea, I’m just putting a few words out there to help everyone else get to experience this amazing HC of hers. There is plenty more to come and we are just getting started with the drama. We’ve hyped it up a lot because we are Tumblr besties and super excited but we really do think you’ll enjoy the ride too!

Check out our hype posts HERE,  & HERE.

Let us know what you think – chapter two will be coming soon!

EQ AU tag list: @mvalentine​ / @choicesobsessedd​ / @dulcehernandez​ / @missmiimiie​ / @edgiestwinter​ / @junehiratas​ / @binny1985​ / @datynasuha​ / @unluckygs / @trinittyy​ / @lilyvalentine​ / @honeyandsunfl0wers​ / @lucy-268​ / @choices-love-affair​ / @parkerattano / @queencarb / @custaroonie / @mkamra2355 / @humanpokemon / @ramseysno1rookie /@unknowntimelady / @myusualnerdyself / @schnitzelbutterfinger / @mvalentine / @jasminedayz / @thanialis / @tefigranger / @kenzierookie / @justanotherrookie / @keepcreativechoices / @heauxplesslydevoted / @ethandaddyramsey / @kaavyaethanramsey / @sherlockedmcu / @edith-eggs1 / @noboundariesplease / @edgiestwinter / @danysims4cc / @tempesreture / @unusualvisionsblog / @chasingrobbie / @mapipa / @lifeof-liv / @3riche-blog / @anonymous2094 / @annaidziaszczyk / @ntoraplayschoices / @jessirosebud / @mskinkyafro / @caseyvalentineramsey /@desmaranj / @trappedinfandoms / @lucy-268 /

*If you asked to be on my Ethan tag list, I just added you here -- but let me know if you wish to be removed! Or added in that case!*

“A world-renowned doctor at a top hospital thinks you’re the best intern. Most people would kill to be you.”

Bryce’s words from yesterday echoed loudly in Maggie’s head as she stared out the window of the plane on the way to Miami. She could hardly contain her excitement. He thinks I’m the best intern…she thought to herself as she replayed her conversation with Bryce for the thousandth time. Dr. Ramsey had chosen her.  That meant he saw something in her.  To him, she was already special.  Now, she just needed to capitalize on it.

On the outside, of course, she was trying to present herself to Dr. Ramsey as a polished, professional, put-together intern – but on the inside she was bubbling over with enthusiasm for this quick two-day trip.

Maggie truly felt like the luckiest girl in the world.  This hard-working, smart-mouthed kid from upstate New York was selected by her mentor and current crush, Dr. Ethan Ramsey.  He had been the whole reason she wanted to become a doctor in the first place.  In her freshman AP Biology class when her teacher, Mrs. Hart, asked the class to read one of his journal articles for extra-credit, she Googled him immediately, wanting to digest as much information about him as possible.

Her friends would tease her about the fact that instead of teen heartthrob pictures posted on the inside of her locker, she had medical journal titles and Dr. Ramsey quotes. No one understood her high esteem and true admiration for him. She was confident when she applied to medical school that she would be competitive at Edenbrook, but she felt even more confident as of late. Now that she was number one and Dr. Ramsey’s clear favorite, everything was right in her world. The only thing that would make it better would be a searing gaze, a brush of his fingertips, hearing Dr. Ramsey call her by name and not “Valentine” or “Rookie…”  

She was daydreaming again as she watched the snow-white clouds dance along the deep blue sky. The plane was about 30 minutes from landing. She was able to finally admit to herself that she had butterflies in her stomach.  Could it be true that she had caught Dr. Ramsey looking at her differently lately? Had he actually started to smile a bit when he saw her for rounds every morning? Could it be that she was impressing him not only with her intellect but with her physical assets too? Is there any chance he could, maybe be, attracted to her?

Maggie’s imagination got carried away, thinking about this conference. She’d at least get to share a meal or two with him, maybe there would be a chance for them to get dressed up. Maggie planned ahead and brought a killer dress for just that kind of opportunity. She would make sure Dr. Ramsey got to see even more of her, um, “assets” and she’d get to see what makes him tick outside of the stuffy hospital. They’d dance alone on the beach; he’d declare his never-ending love for her and then at sunset they’d kiss…

“Aaahhh!” she let out a soft cry of surprise as the plane suddenly lurched up and down. Maggie reached for the armrest to clutch it tightly, forgetting that Dr. Ramsey was seated next to her, and his hand was already occupying the space between them.

In an instant her hand grasped his as her eyes grew wide, not because of the turbulence but because of the feel of his skin on hers. Something she had only dreamed about up until this very moment.

He had been reading and with his free hand removed his glasses, staring at her with a questioning look upon his face.

“Maggie.” He stated, matter-of-factly, but Maggie swore he said it breathlessly.

“Maggie.” He repeated.

“Yes, Dr. Ramsey?” She looked deep into his eyes now, hoping her longing and desire for him was evident in her eyes too.

“May I have my hand back, please?”

She immediately released her hold and smiled sheepishly. The Ethan Ramsey smirk appeared on his face briefly as she pulled her hand away.

“Of course.”

When he spoke to her, she hung on his every word, no matter what it was he was saying. However, Maggie had learned by now to keep her answers short and to the point.

“Thank you again for asking me to accompany you on this trip, Dr. Ramsey.  It’s my first large conference and I know we’re going to have a wonderful time! I’m thankful, truly, I am.” She smiled, trying to make things less awkward.

“Yes, yes. So you’ve said. No less than a dozen times now.  And as I have said before, don’t thank me, just do what you’re told. This is a work trip not a vacation. You’d do well to remember that fact, Dr. Valentine.”

The way he slowly emphasized Dr. Valentine sent shivers down Maggie’s spine. Did he know what he was doing to her? It was little lines like this, where the tone and pace of his voice changed, that made her think – no, believe – that he was indeed beginning to develop feelings for her.

Maggie nodded and returned her gaze to the window as he pulled his hand off the armrest. He cleared his throat as he settled back into the chair, recoiling a bit and trying to focus again on his reading material. Soon they’d be on land once more. If Maggie wanted any semblance of a decent relationship with Dr. Ramsey, she’d have to take advantage of opportunities to remind him that she wasn’t just THE number one intern. She was HIS number one intern.  She decided for now to keep her mouth shut and continue to stare at the sky. It was safer that way.

--

When she had to tell Dr. Ramsey that they messed up on the reservations and only had one room for the two of them to share, she delivered the news matter-of-factly as if she was sharing the status of a broken arm or an appendicitis diagnosis. There was no flare, no pomp and circumstance, just the facts.  

She was looking forward to it and would make sure Dr. Ramsey didn’t regret it, but she knew that she had to present her case clearly and without emotion in order to keep anything from changing too much.

“They only have reservations under your name.  One room. We’ll have to share.”

Maggie was quite pleased with herself and the way she tackled what could have been a nightmare situation.

“Morons. Can no one do anything right?” He clenched his fist and his jaw while simultaneously rolling his eyes.

“I promise I don’t snore…” Maggie offered, trying to lighten the mood that had suddenly become very tense.

“I just don’t like the way it looks.” He explained with a heavy sigh, “But, we’ll have to make it work.”

They took their luggage up to the room. As they entered, Maggie did her best to keep the amount of awe she felt, to a minimum as she took in the sight of the beautiful balcony and the scenic view of the ocean and beach below. She immediately went out to look over it all. It wasn’t until Dr. Ramsey called her back in that she realized there really was only one bed.

“We need to go speak with some vendors and make the rounds on the exhibition floor.” Dr. Ramsey explained, checking his watch.

“Sounds fun!” Maggie smiled as she clasped her hands together, clearly delighted.

“You are woefully misinformed. Nothing about this is fun, Rookie.”

“There’s a first time for everything, Dr. Ramsey.”

“Meaning?”

“Maybe you’ll actually have fun this time because you’re with me.”

Maggie tried to be subtle in her tone but gave him a wink and then smiled through one side of her mouth as she boldly approached him and looped her arm under his.

She gently pushed him alongside her to the door of their hotel room.

“I should have asked Harper to pay for an assistant instead of bringing you…don’t get any ideas.” He raised an eyebrow and down on her with mock disdain.

The energy between them had shifted now and as he looked at her with mischief in his eyes, she wanted to reach up right then, snake her arms around his neck and toss him on the bed. The expo vendors be damned! But she swallowed those thoughts away and promised him she wouldn’t.

“I’ll be on my best behavior…for now.”

Maggie offered, followed by a throaty chuckle that made Dr. Ramsey stop in his tracks.

He turned sharply to look at his reflection in the full-length mirror near the door of their room. Maggie studied him as he studied himself.  

The hair. Those eyes. His lips. Everything about this man was sexy. It didn’t matter that he was 10 plus years older than her. His brain, his body, all of him was exactly what she wanted.

There were so many rumors about what Dr. Ramsey was really like.  People said he was vain, arrogant, selfish, rude and cocky as hell.  But she had yet to really see that side of him. Sure, he was particular and liked things done a certain way, but it was all for the good of the hospital, the patients and his team. He had a right to be that way, he’d earned it. He was after all, the Doctor Ethan Ramsey.

Those three words had rattled around in her brain for years.  Doctor.  Ethan. Ramsey.  He was everything she hoped to be and also everything she wanted at the same time.  He was standing right in front of her; she still felt at times as though she should pinch herself. It was truly a dream come true to be able to be in the presence of her mentor day after day.

“Like what you see Rookie? Let’s go.” He ushered her out the door and she nodded in agreement while biting her lip, wondering just where the rest of this day and this trip would lead them.

--

Dr. Ramsey and Maggie were able to spend some time both together and apart in the vendor area of the exhibit hall.  The bright white lights pierced Maggie’s eyes and started to give her a headache. She went from booth to booth listening to people as they peddled their latest technology to either aid in surgeries, help make diagnoses or, some would claim, cure the rarest sicknesses. Maggie was surprised at the wide range of options being offered and just how far these companies and salespeople would go to try and get her, a lowly intern, to agree to use their product. She was actually glad that she didn’t have the power or authority to tie Edenbrook to some of these companies. It was overwhelming to say the least.

Maggie found Dr. Ramsey waiting for her at their predetermined location. They split up for a little bit to “make the rounds” and decided to meet back up after about 45 minutes out on the floor. She was desperately trying to keep a headache at bay but must have been showing signs of fatigue on her face.

“Are you all right?” Dr. Ramsey asked, appearing genuinely concerned.

She nodded slowly and smiled, wanting to appear strong and capable at all times, but especially in front of him.

“Oh yes, just a slight headache is all. Once I get some water and a couple ibuprofen, I’ll be fine.”

“Let’s get out of here. We need you feeling better before the reception this evening.”

“Reception?” Maggie questioned.

Before she could ask more questions, she was interrupted by a strikingly beautiful blonde who approached Dr. Ramsey from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder. It didn’t take long for Maggie to realize she was watching something very intriguing unfold right before her eyes.

“Isabelle?” Dr. Ramsey’s eyes grew wide, turning around and enveloping the mystery woman in a hug.  

A long hug.

A hug that lasted for what felt like five minutes.

Maggie felt a sudden pang of jealousy. Dr. Ramsey clearly knew this woman. She was beautiful and he seemed happy to see her.

“It’s been a long time.”

Isabelle, as he called her, responded in a more abrupt manner than Maggie expected.  She noticed her body language and was immediately confused. Isabelle’s arms were crossed in front of her chest and she seemed less than pleased with Dr. Ramsey’s greeting.

“Yes, it has. Too long, Ethan, if you ask me.”

“How long has it been, exactly?”

Maggie assumed Dr. Ramsey was trying this hardest to be charming. He was smiling not only with his mouth but with his eyes. She couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as though his eyes were also travelling the length of Isabelle’s body as they exchanged words.

“I believe it was last year’s conference. Don’t tell me you don’t remember.”

Isabelle purred like a luxurious cat, still looking a bit stand-offish, but clearly remembering or feeling something for Maggie’s beloved mentor.

“Oh, I remember…things just get busy and life takes over once we’re off conference time, you know.”

“I had heard a lot about you before…that night…” Isabelle leaned in, closer to him, the last few words barely above a whisper.

Maggie was feeling more than awkward in this moment. She was torn between wanting to distract herself and also wanting to hear every bit of this exchange.  This was juicy information and she needed to know who the heck this woman was and what history she had with Dr. Ramsey.

After letting out a loud and uncomfortable laugh, Ethan focused again on Isabelle and took her hand in his.

“I suppose I should be flattered. Usually at these things people either hate me or want something from me.”

“Well I was definitely one of the many women who wanted something from you. And there are plenty more who would want something from you too...”

At this point, Maggie noticed Isabelle’s eyes wandering to where she was standing. The two women made eye contact while Maggie shifted uncontrollably.  

Dr. Ramsey came to her rescue, swooping in beside Maggie and introducing her.

“Ah yes, Dr. Isabelle Crane, this is Dr. Maggie Valentine. Edenbrook’s finest intern, ranked number one currently. She’s accompanied me to the symposium this year.”

“And I do mean finest…” He whispered quickly and breathlessly into Maggie’s ear as she reached forward to extend her hand to Isabelle.  

She wanted to do a double take; her mind not completely sure she had heard Dr. Ramsey correctly. Instead she focused on the woman in front of her, hoping this exchange would end quickly.

Isabelle looked Maggie up and down then licked her lips and smiled deviously. Her eyes flicked from the doctor back to the intern. Maggie could almost see the wheels turning in this Isabelle woman’s head – she didn’t mind where she thought it was going but found it to be a little unprofessional.

“Well,” Isabelle cleared he throat, again her eyes playing ping pong between the two doctors. “Let me offer you this word of advice, number one intern...”

Maggie swallowed hard, her eyes locking with Isabelle’s. She was suddenly very afraid of what Isabelle was going to say next.

“Take great care to not let this one get away. It’s been my experience that once he’s out of sight, you’re out of mind.”

Isabelle was terse and made it beyond clear that she was unhappy with Dr. Ramsey’s behavior. Maggie wasn’t sure she wanted to know exactly what went on between the two of them, but she was astute enough to get the gist. She watched, keeping her composure, as Isabelle spun on her heel and quickly exited.

Wanting to break the ice and let her mentor know she wasn’t the least bit phased by anything, Maggie was the first to speak.

“I think I’ll go get that ibuprofen now.”

Dr. Ramsey was scratching the back of his neck, his head hung low. He looked up at her with a sheepish grin.

“Yeah. Good idea.”

--

By the time Dr. Ramsey returned to the room, Maggie was in the shower. She had laid out her dress for the evening, hoping it was right for the occasion. The last thing she wanted was to be too dressed up or not dressed up enough. She was well aware of who she was with and she did not want to disappoint him in any way.

It wasn’t long before she heard Dr. Ramsey’s voice call out over the noise of the water.  She knew he was back in the room when she heard the loud hotel door slam close. Thankfully there was no way he could enter the bathroom, as she had thought ahead and locked it.  She already had her fill of awkward encounters for the day.

“Maggie?”

She swallowed hard, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. She could feel her neck and chest flush a little bit upon the realization that the only thing between her naked body and Dr. Ethan Ramsey was a flimsy hotel wall. And what’s more, he knew it too, and still chose to engage with her. Trying her best not to come across too hopeful or excited, she casually responded.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for all that back there…I know you may…uh…have some questions but she’s…”

Maggie cut him off, not wanting or needing an explanation.

“It’s fine, Dr. Ramsey. Really!”

She began to wash her hair, biting her lip and closing her eyes wondering where this conversation would go next.

“I know you might need the shower, so I’ll be fast. I’m just finishing up!” She lied.

“Oh, um, okay. No rush.”

Maggie noticed his voice had gotten lower and a little more raspy with that response. Could it be possible that he was thinking the same thing she was? There was no way he wasn’t thinking about her being in the shower as he spoke with her WHILE SHE WAS IN THE SHOWER.

“How’s your head?” He asked plainly.

Maggie had now put her head under the water to rinse. “Oh, it’s much better, thank you.”

“Is this – this dress here on the bed, is this what you’re wearing tonight?”

She cursed herself, unsure of his tone.

“I brought a lot of options. I wasn’t sure how fancy this was, and I can do something different if it’s not that kind of reception.”

She was finished with her shower now and had turned off the water, wrapping a towel around herself quickly. Her heart was beating fast indicating she was nervous, but her mind was fixed on him and she also felt daring. She wondered if it was possible to be both at the same time.  

“It’s sufficient.” Dr. Ramsey responded in typical fashion.

With her hair dripping wet, she decided to go for it. He wasn’t stupid and neither was she. If anything, she could play it off like an honest mistake. But she wanted him. And she wanted him to know she wanted him. Coming out of the bathroom in just a towel would definitely send that message.

She opened the door and wasn’t prepared for him to be right there, but he was. Literally a few inches from her. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of his lips. She wished she had looked at his eyes instead, because she wanted to watch them and see where they travelled. Did he look her over like he had Isabelle?

Dr. Ramsey suddenly cleared his throat loudly.

“Rookie…” he almost whispered, finally locking his gaze onto hers.

“Only sufficient?” Maggie pouted.  

She could feel a bead of water running from the end of her hair down her chest between her breasts and she held her composure perfectly as she watched her favorite teacher’s eyes follow the path of the drop.

“More than sufficient.”

And with that he stepped into the bathroom, leaving Maggie to finish getting ready.  

--

The reception was everything Maggie dreamed it would be. She got to wear her fancy dress and drink champagne all with Dr. Ethan Ramsey on her arm. If she had the chance to go back to high-school-Maggie and tell herself that this would be her life, high-school-Maggie never in a million years would have believed her.

She was trying to take mental inventory of everything. Not just the amazing food and ambiance, but the way Dr. Ramsey looked in a tux, the way he had given his approval with a curt nod as she spun around for him in their hotel room, asking him if she “looked okay.” Maggie didn’t want this night to ever end.

The reception had been held by the pool at the resort and eventually, they had to shut it down. Maggie had convinced Dr. Ramsey to stay until the bitter end, even though she had her shoes off and could barely keep her eyes open, when the music stopped and people started picking up, she knew it was time to go.

The bartender was packing up and called out to the couple as they passed by.

“You all want this?” He held out a bottle of champagne.

“It’s already been paid for.”

“Of course it has.” Dr. Ramsey responded as Maggie reached out to grab the bottle.

“And of course we do!” She giggled a little, taking the bottle and wiggling her eyebrows.

Dr. Ramsey couldn’t even stifle a smile this time. Maggie thought that perhaps, despite himself, he had a good night with her and for a few moments, maybe he actually enjoyed himself.

Once the couple exited the elevators on the floor of their room, they walked down the long hallway to the very end where their suite was waiting.  Occasionally Maggie’s hand would brush with Dr. Ramsey’s as he held the champagne bottle by his side. She could tell something had changed. There was a new electricity between them now.  She hoped it wasn’t just the buzz from the multiple glasses of Prosecco she consumed.

“Maggie…” he trailed off just as they reached their room.

“I had a nice time tonight.”

She couldn’t find her voice as she was lost in his incredibly bright blue eyes. They were always piercing but, in this moment, they looked a more intense shade of blue than she had ever seen or noticed before. He stood there, watching her, and she waited for her own brain and mouth to connect in order to respond but nothing came out. She was only able to smile and nod.

The familiar heat spread again on her cheeks, her neck and chest. He opened the door slowly and went to gather more champagne flutes from the table outside on the balcony.

“It’s a beautiful evening and it’s not over yet. Let’s drink out here!” He called to her.

Maggie felt like she was floating. She took a deep breath, dropped her shoes on the floor, and followed him outside. The view was breathtaking, both him and the oceanside. He brought her a flute, held up his glass and looked at her as he spoke.

“A toast. To you. The marvelous Dr. Maggie Valentine. Cheers to surviving your first medical symposium and a day with me. You truly are the finest intern Edenbrook has ever…” he paused adding dramatic effect, “…ever had.”

“Dr. Ramsey – I don’t know what to say, I…” Maggie felt like crying she was so proud of herself and so glad he felt that way about her, but he cut her off.

“Ethan.”

She nodded, taking a drink.

“Please, call me Ethan.”

Ethan exhaled quickly, took a drink of champagne and then began to speak again. Maggie couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as though his voice was a little shaky as he started.

“I owe you an apology. I’ve been short and more cranky than normal as of late.” He moved to the railing, holding his glass with both hands and leaning over it.

Maggie almost interjected but decided against it. She wanted to see where this was going and what he would say next.

“This trip has been very difficult for me. And I don’t like to admit when I find things challenging or tough.  I thought I could handle this. I thought it would be different. I’ve just never…”

“…felt like this before?” Maggie blurted it out without thinking. Her eyes grew wide, she covered her mouth with her free hand and spilled a little champagne in the process.

Ethan’s head turned slowly to face her. His smile turned into his trademark smirk and Maggie was done for.

“That’s it exactly, Maggie. I’ve tried. So hard…but this trip -- being together so much just us, one on one, and seeing you like this and being with you tonight, everything has just made it impossible.”

And there it was. Just like that he called her Maggie. She was now on a first name basis with Dr. – no – Ethan. Strangely, she was calm. Her pulse was normal, she was concentrating on him and him alone.  

He quickly finished what remained in his glass and set it on the table, taking her free hand in his.

“I could say all of that, too.” She gulped.

Remembering she also had champagne, she took a sip and shivered as he ran his thumb lazily across her knuckles. The words continued to come out of her mouth before she could even think.

“I can’t even believe that right now, I’m me and you’re you and we’re standing here on this balcony looking at the ocean, all dressed up, together. Like actually together. And you’re holding my hand and I just…I’ve wanted this…with you…”

Ethan nodded and without saying a word, took her face in his hands and whispered, “And I want you.”

Maggie didn’t know what was happening anymore. She wasn’t sure if she moved in for the kiss or if he was going to do it anyway, but it didn’t matter. She was now officially in the arms of Dr. Ethan freaking Ramsey and she was going to enjoy it.

After a few moments the passion was intensifying between them both and Maggie took a quick step back, holding Ethan at arm’s length.

“What’s the matter? Is something wrong?”

“Not a thing.” She smiled, holding his gaze and looking at him fondly.

“I want to remember this. There’s not one second of this moment I want to ever forget.”

Ethan smiled and then moved closer to her, nuzzling her neck just below her ear and moving her towards the bed, where the two of them tangled themselves together for hours, enjoying their evening and each other long into the night.

[hateswifi]

Rising from the Ashes: Of Graduation and Growth

So this is Part Thirteen here is to my Master List and Part Twelve.

——————————————

Marinette started growing after her first commission with the help of Diana, Lucky Spot became a headquarters for Nette's clothes. She did originals for celebrities only really unless asked for a special event such as a wedding and only for a good price and she couldn't be swamped in commission. Bruce offered her a small part of Wayne Enterprises as a factor because she was using all earth-friendly material and was good publicity. She, at first, refused but unable to keep up with demands accepted Bruce's offer. There was a public announcement and signing of the contract between Wayne Enterprises and Nette, but being dead, she sent Diana as her representative to sign for her. She was well known throughout America and Asia with popularity moving towards Europe. She was getting better known as Nette even more popular than MDC had ever been.

This made knowing Nette a perfect lie for Lila without Marinette around to try and expose her, little did Lila know her Castle of Lies would soon fall. That's how the announcement of a field trip to Gotham happened a couple of weeks before graduation; they were to leave the day of graduation. This is the field trip plan she had come up with before she 'died', but Lila took credit for it all because she became Class President after Marinette's death. Chloe and Adrien didn't bother to pay attention to where the group was going. They didn't realize or care where the class was going because they were leaving to go on tour from graduation. Well first they were going to visit Marinette she was going to reveal herself soon, after coming up with a cover story if she was ever asked about her 'death'.

Adrien graduated valedictorian, which Lila cried about due to it being unfair with her 'disability', Alya threw a fit for her 'bestie'. There was nothing they could change though because Gabriel would have the school board's heads. After the graduation caps been thrown and pictures had been taken, the 4 Outlaws travel to see their dear friend once again, little did they know the class would soon be following them the next day. Lila spread more lies about knowing the Wayne family and her childhood sweetheart Damian along with her best friend Nette.

Back in Gotham with Marinette, she was getting ready for the release of the line 'Butterfly' and the gala that was to follow the next day. Her friends were coming to watch the release and they offered to model because they inspired most of the outfits. She had been spending extra time at Wayne Enterprises, one so Damian didn't murder anyone --a lot was going on-- and two to monitor the production to be released. All the outfits in the actual show were handmaid by Marinette and would be auctioned off at the end to give to a charity.

There was a mix of excited chatter on the plan with the class."I can't wait to get that interview with your boyfriend," Alya exclaimed. oblivious to how irritated the Italian girl had become. "Also I can't believe you managed to get us a tour of Wayne Enterprises, which now includes Nette's factory, along with her fashion show AND the gala. Maybe you can get me an interview with Nette being her best friend. Also, is Damian asking you to the gala?"

"I worked extra hard to get us this trip. Something our old Class President couldn't do. I don't think my Damiboo will do an interview he is shy, so I don't know if we'll be able to see him. I don’t know if he’s taking me to the gala, he’s shy," Lila lied, crossing her arms letting a tear fall. "I still can't believe they had the nerve to tell me I am not in first class."

"Ya girl, I can't believe they would treat, Ladybug's best friend, Jagged Stone's niece, and Damian's Wayne's girlfriend that way." Alya huffed. "Hey, you should ask Damian to sue because you've been treated so badly."

"I'll ask him when I see him," Lila said, putting in headphones while thinking to herself. 'Maybe if I sleep I won't have to deal with this obnoxious girl.'

The plane ride lasted eight hours, which Lila had to listen to Alya babble, about only god know what. When they had gotten outside it was raining and the class tried to hail a taxi.

"Lila. I thought you made plans for how we would travel," Ms. Bustier asked, trying to sound nice through gritted teeth. A car drove by and splashed Lila and Alya, the girls shrieked getting covered in the dirty street water.

"I swear I did," Lila explained, now dripping in the water she started to cry. "They must have been some mistake, they must have canceled on me."

"It's fine Lila, the hotel isn't too far right?" Alya comforted rubbing the top of her back.

"It's about a three-mile walk from here," Lila whimpered between tears.

"We can walk, right Ms. Bustier?" Alya said, hugging the poor Italian.

"I suppose, but Lila you have to make accommodations for tomorrow's tour," Ms. Bustier said as she got the kids to follow her.

Luka was looking out the window of the Outlaw’s limo when he saw his sister's unfortunate class. "Guys! look. Pullover," Luka said looking away from the window.

"Who's there?" Chloe asks moving towards where Luka had been looking. Before Chloe could argue with Luka's decision, he was opening the door.

"You guys need a ride," Luka asked, looking specifically on his sister, they hadn't been on good terms since he had been kicked from Kitty Section.

"Why would we want to hang out with bullies like you!?" Alya exclaimed as Lila was about to accept the offer.

"Juleka are you staying warm and dry?" Luka asked, ignoring Alya.

"She is fine," Alya cut in again.

"It's fine Alya, they're trying to make up for their mistakes," Lila said, stepping forward with her bag following behind her.

"Ya know what," Chloe says, angrily. "We are not bullies and you're all in for a surprise."

"How many of you want a ride from us 'bullies'?" Kagami asks.

"If you're good with Adrien and Luka, you're good in my book," Juleka says, pushing past her classmates and got into the limo. Alix and Kim get in the dry limo while everyone else agreed with Lila, the liar, walk to the hotel in the cold rain.

As the limo drove away Lila started crying, "That was supposed to be our limo, they must have bribed the company to give it to them."

"Those bastards!" Alya screamed and stormed faster towards the hotel.

Back in the limo "So you guys know the truth about Lila's lie?" Kagami asks leaning into the seat.

"Yes, we've known for a while, but couldn't do anything in school," Kim says.

"But now since we've graduated we're done putting up with her bull," Alix huffs, crossing her arms.

"Besides we know Marinette planned this trip and there's no way that we're going to let her work go to waste by Lila's lies," Juleka says, putting her head on her brother's shoulder.

"We're actually on our way to see her," Adrien says sleepily into Kagami's shoulder.

"What... What do you mean?" Kim asks sitting forwards.

"Ignore him," Kagami says, elbowing him.

"No is she alive? We thought she.... she well ya know," Alix said.

"Nah she just moved," Adrien said with a big yawn.

"Shut your boyfriend up Gami," Chloe said harshly.

"She's alive?!!" Juleka said whipping her head forward.

"You can't say anything. She came here for a reason, heck she probably forgot about your trip or she would've had Damian, her boyfriend, cancel the tours," Luka said, shaking his head.

"She's alive, but why did she leave?" Kim asks heartbroken.

"It was kind of a rash decision on her, but she is our friend and we were supporting her," Chloe explains.

"She'll probably explain everything if you run into her at the factory. If not we'll explain everything later," Luka said, looking out the window.

"Looks like this is your destination," Kagami said, looking down at her ringing phone. "Hey, Mar. Yes, we're on our way. We got stuck in traffic we'll be there soon." Luka started opening the door for the group to exit as Gami hung up. "Jagged is waiting for us. She wants to go through fittings before dinner tonight."

"Well sorry this was cut short, but we'll see you soon," Luka said through the open window after he closed the door.

"You may go," Chloe said to the driver. Luka put up the window as the small group headed into the hotel. The Outlaws decided not to tell Marinette about her class and their field trip because she didn't need any more stress.

————————————————————

Tag list (Open):

@northernbluetongue @melhuney @ladysblackcat @sturchling @otaku4312 @g-arya @smolplantmum @bluefyoto94 @echpr @moonlightstar64 @thesunanditsangel @cutechip @heaven428 @elmokingkong @kass-is-weird @niza13149 @urbanpineapplefarmer @ginamarie1512 @chocolatecatstheron @iggy-of-fans @crazylittlemunchkin @komatsuna-yuki @weird-pale-blonde-person @ellerahs @sinnamonroill @daminett4life @queenmj10 @indecisive-mess-named-me @reyna-avila-ramirez-alreanaldo @lizziejay @random-posts-and-stuff @purplesundaze

[shieldmon]

You’re Not Home

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader. 

Summary: Peter Parker and you have been best friends for a long time, but now he is too focused on being MJ's boyfriend. 

Words: 2.8k+ 

Warnings: Angst all the way, like too much angst, ignoring Far From Home identity reveal, one-sided love, language.

Author's Note: Yeah, I was listening to Keane’s new album, and the angst came to my mind. The gif is not mine, it is from @tomhollandnet, all the credits of the gif go to the owner. This is my first MCU fanfiction, plus English is not my first language. 

You were Peter's best friend for a long time before he met Ned, after that, you were just his girl best friend, the kind of girl he asks for advice and a feminine point of view.

At some point, you fell in love with each other. Have you ever tried to be in a relationship? Of course, you tried, but Peter decided to be just friends for a time; he couldn't afford to lose you, even though your feelings were the same he was afraid to make you unhappy because of his newly acquired powers.

You respected his decision, and everything continued the same; you buried your feelings for him and put the "we are just friends" mask on. You even supported him and helped him with his crush on Liz Allen, and comforted him when... whatever happened between them took place.

Unfortunately for you, after that, your feelings for him became stronger and stronger; you were happy just seeing him and his cute curls at lunch, you two hang out all the time with or without Ned, you make him laugh and vice versa, you loved him with all your heart.

But Peter didn't feel the same for you.

Maybe your mistake was not being nerd enough to be part of the Decathlon Team, or maybe your mistake was taking for granted that Peter would love you the same because Michelle Jones took the place of the new crush of Peter Parker.

You can clearly remember how he asked you to become her friend, you didn't understand why, but you did it. You two got along really well, to be honest, but you didn't know that all of that was a part of Peter's plan to get closer to her too, sitting in the same table at lunch, going to together to the cinema with the excuse of a friend's night.

Silly of you, you didn't notice that until it was too late; you were over heels in love with him while he was in love with MJ.

When Thanos snapped his fingers, everyone had just arrived at MoMA, and you were looking for Peter after all the students got off the bus, Ned tried to make a stupid lie, and you were worried because you thought maybe the alien attack had disappeared him. The next thing you remember is the screams and the people vanishing away, you screamed Peter's name one last time before vanishing.

When you returned to life, you were so confused, you were pushed by a boy that saw you like you were a ghost. 

You searched a familiar face among all the people, so when you found Ned, you hugged him tightly.

"Have you seen Peter?" you asked him after the hug.

Ned tried to answer you, but he closed his mouth and then nodded.

You continued your search for Peter, crying and screaming his name in despair when you couldn't find him anywhere at MoMA.  It took you three days to found him and his aunt, they were sitting in the park watching Dr. Hulk's message to all the people, you screamed his name, and he looked at you, you ran towards each other at the same time, hugged and cried.

"I missed you, I was so worried for you, please, don't go away again," you begged when he buried his face in your shoulder.

You blipped away. Ned, MJ, and Peter did too. And now Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, and Steve Rogers were dead.

Peter had the most difficult time in his life after losing another father figure, and you were always by his side whenever he needed you. You loved him even more, but he loved MJ more because she was taking her blip much better than anyone else, she was sharp and honest with him, and it probably was what he wanted.

Eight months later, you were talking to Ned about a comic when Peter interrupted you both and talked about his plan to confess his feelings on the Europe Trip. You were confused at the beginning of his talk, you didn't know what "his plan" was, but your heart broke when he finished telling it.

You tried with all your strength to wear your mask "we are just friends" and make a comment about it after Ned's demotivating comment, but you excused yourself, you left them talking alone to go to the bathroom to cry. You felt like a fool, how could you not see that? When did that happen? You were about to cancel everything, pretend to have the flu and not go on the trip, but you knew maybe Peter would need you to reach his goal, so you couldn't leave him like that.

The trip was complete torture for you, seeing Peter trying to get close to MJ was not the problem, you understood that you were not his happiness and that you had to accept it, but being ignored by him was something that hurt you as nothing had ever done before. Besides, Ned had a relationship with Betty Brant now, so you were completely alone during the whole trip.

After Prague, Peter stayed with his german family and the rest of your class was going to make a flight home from London. MJ defended Peter from Brad before you could even open your mouth to do it, MJ was now closer to Ned. 

But you didn't have time to worry about it when you found yourself running for your life along with Happy Hogan, Flash, Ned, Betty, and MJ. You saw how the monsters that attacked wherever your class, now blended into a giant monster. When everyone got off the bus, MJ grabbed your hand and made you run with them.

"It's not real! It's not real!" Ned kept saying while running.

"I look pretty real to me!" MJ and you shouted at him.

You stopped running when you saw that Mysterio appeared out of nowhere to save the day, you thought that finally, everything would be fine, but MJ grabbed your hand again and made you run with her and the couple, Flash following you.

"We are definitely not safe here!" she yelled.

After that, Happy Hogan found you and led you to a safe place, you all hid in the Crown Jewels Hall while being chased by a bunch of killer drones. After trying to fight them and survive because Spider-man managed to deactivate them, MJ ran out of the place.

You tried to follow her, but Happy and Ned stopped you saying it would be better to look for the rest of the class.

The whole class decided to stay in London that day, everybody needed a break, the flight home will be paid by Happy Hogan on behold of Stark Industries. 

You saw Peter later that day, he rejoined the class trip again, he squeezed you and kissed your forehead, he told you that he was worried for you. You tried to be with him a little longer, but he left you to be with MJ. The next day, he was holding MJ's hand, and they were cuddling on the plane, so you didn't bother to approach him again.

Everything went downhill after that, he didn't even try to say goodbye to you at the airport, you texted him, and his answer was just a cold sorry. He wasn't talking to you at school, neither answering your messages, and you decided to step aside and sit alone at lunch, Ned tried to convince you to sit with them again, but you told him that you will wait until Peter came down from the clouds.

Peter canceled all the plans and rejected all the invitations, never answered your messages, and ignored all your calls. All his attention was now focused on MJ and his relationship.

However, you forgave each of those things, thinking that you would probably do the same if you were in a relationship with someone. You told yourself that, hopefully, one day he would remember that he had a best friend and that she needed him.

He always said that he would reward you all, that he only needed to spend more time with his girlfriend and then you would go out again together. To be honest with yourself, it never happened, but you were expecting that tonight was the exception.

Earlier that day he walked to your locker at the end of class and said he wanted to recover all the time lost with you, that you just have to put the place and he would not miss it for anything in the world.

"I'm sorry, I am really sorry, believe me, I will be there," he begged when you faced him with your head hanging low.

You hesitated for a few seconds, but you ended up talking to him, "Cinema, tonight, seven o'clock."

"After that, we will go to Delmar's and eat something. It's a plan."

Now you were there, your cellphone in your hand and his number already dialed, you just need to press the green button and call him. You are afraid of it, you are also tired of the voicemail.

But you press the number and then put your cellphone on speaker.

"Hello, this is Peter, I'm busy right now, leave a message!"

You sigh, "It's me, Y/N, again. I was wondering if you will come tonight, I hope you haven't forgotten about our cinema night," you say and smile sadly, "you don't have to bring anything, I already paid for our tickets... MJ is invited too, you can bring her if you want to, I will pay for an extra ticket in case you bring her."

You talk with a lump in your throat, "I miss you, please come."

You prepare yourself to take a quick shower after that, and coming out of it you wear comfortable jeans, a white blouse, and a hoodie that once belonged to Peter, the last thing you have from him.

You look one last time in the mirror, you put your wet hair on your shoulders, and you take something to put it in a ponytail when it dries. You leave your room with little jumps, and your mother gives you extra money and a hug because she knows this day is special for you, and then you leave your house to walk to the cinema with emotion running through your veins.

You start to think about the things you are going to do today, all the things you have to tell him, who cares if you can't have a relationship with? Who cares if he is with MJ? As long as Peter can stay by your side, you are happy.

You arrive at the cinema with a lot of free time because of how excited you are, you buy popcorn and nachos, you are not sure how many drinks you will have to buy, so you wait to see if Peter comes alone. You sit in a chair in the waiting room to wait for it, eating popcorn occasionally.

But he doesn't appear, it doesn't seem like he's about to arrive either. You check your phone to see the time and notes that the function started 15 minutes ago, check your phone to see if he hasn't sent any message, but he hasn't. You decide to wait for him, bitting your bottom lip and tapping hands.

He must be busy, May must be talking to him, he must be on the way, and we are going to enter to the next function, you keep repeating to yourself.

You wait for him for three hours in the cinema before walking to Delmar's to search for him. You enter the place and take a seat, the corners of your lips falling towards the floor.

The owner of the place looks at you, and you wave your hand at him before talking to him with a smile, "Hola, Mr. Delmar."

"Hola, Y/N, have you seen Peter lately?" he asks mischievously.

And your smile disappears, your heart clench and your eyes are filled with tears now.

He is not coming.

                        ---

You arrive at school, you barely slept the day before, you are sure that you cried almost all night, and your eyes are red and sunken in addition to dark circles, the curious eyes that look at you make you walk faster to reach your locker so you can walk to your class as quickly as possible to hide.

But you didn't expect Peter Parker to be there, waiting for you. You look at him with fury in your eyes, turn around and run to the other side, trying to get out of the hallway as fast as you can.

"Y/N, wait!" He cries and chases you. You're slower than him, so it's easy for him to reach you in the yard outside of school and hold your hand, "Y/N, please let me explain."

"Don't fucking touch me, Parker!" you scream, freeing you from his grip.

Peter looks at you with his mouth open, "Please, let me explain, I really wanted to go, I promise."

"But what?" you ask, your eyes filled with tears.

"Michelle..." and he shuts up because of you punching throwing your backpack at him, "what was that for!?"

"You said you wouldn't miss it for the world, you said you want to recover the lost time, you promised me you would be there," you hissed, "you are a liar!"

"Let me explain to you!" he fumed, "I was about to be there, but Michelle needed me, so I went to her house, I swear to you that I was practically there!"

"You don't have a phone to tell me that, Peter?" you ask with your voice about to crack, "I waited for you like a stupid! I went to Delmar's to see if you were there!"

Peter feels ashamed, he tries to reply to that, but before he can start, continue talking, "This is not just for yesterday, Peter, you have been avoiding me since you are in your relationship with MJ; I have called you, text you, invited to eat, study and even build a Lego, I allowed you to take MJ, Ned and whoever you want to our meetings, but you don't listen to me!"

You can feel the tears running through your cheeks and your clean them furiously, trying to look strong in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but you have to understand, I really want this relationship to work, I love her..."

"Enough!" you cried, "You can't change everything you have for that, Peter, okay? We've been friends for almost nine years! Have you ever thought about how I feel? You're pulling me away from you, and I don't... I don't know how to get close to you again!" you whined, savoring the salty taste of your tears, "I'm tired of this, Peter Parker; I'm tired of you and your precious relationship, and I'm tired of our friendship."

And Peter's heart skipped a beat before beating faster, "No, please, Y/N, don't do this to us..."

"To us, or to you?" You ask and look at the floor, "There is no us since you started dating MJ, Peter."

You can hear Peter's sobs, and you feel your heart break even more with each of them, "Well then, don't leave me, please don't do this to me."

"You have MJ, don't you?" you ask, a sad laugh coming out of your lips, "You only look for me when you want me to be here, you just want me to be here in case you need me, that's not friendship."

You take your backpack off the floor and walk back to school, with your back to your now ex-friend, "Please tell me you love me one last time," he pleads.

That's when you doubt, you have something about love to tell him, and this is probably your last chance to say it if everything goes as expected, so you look at him, the last tears run down your cheeks while holding his gaze.

"Do you remember when we dated when we were thirteen years old?" you ask him, and when he nods you continue, "When you and Liz broke up, I started to develop romantic feelings for you again, I tried so hard to buried and hide them, but I guess I will never would."

Peter tries to reach your hand, but you take a step behind, "I'm sorry..." he whispers.

"Don't be," you said and smiled, then you walk towards him and give him a short and innocent kiss on his lips, he receives it and treasures it, he knows he can't stop you anymore, he wants to give you what you love for one last time. "I love you, Pete, and I'm sorry if this causes you problems."

And then it's his turn to watch you drifting away from him.

[dawnwave16]

Not what I expected

3; 4(here); 4.5 ; 5 ; Pictures for Interlude ; Interlude

Chap 4

“It's confirmed,” she said with a soft smile, then looked at Hotch. “Congrats, Dad, it's a teenaged girl!”

Hotch was driving home to pack extra things into his bag when he realised that he should probably fetch Jack first. After all, if he remembered correctly, Jack was meant to be having an art day at school and the last thing he wanted to do was take Jack on a plane covered in paint and other art supplies. He had requested that Garcia book accommodation for them as the last thing he wanted was to arrive in Paris and find out the was nowhere for them all to stay, so he knew they would be staying in the Grand Paris Hotel, they would pay for their rooms after they arrived though.

That planned he picked up a very messy, yet excited Jack and got everything else that he needed done sorted and met the team at the airport. He was admittedly a bit nervous, after all, he'd just found out he had a teenage daughter and he had no idea if she knew that Tom wasn't her father. The team boarded without any issues and settled in for the flight. Since D.C was 6hrs behind Paris, despite them leaving at 1 pm they would be landing in Paris at 6 pm.

They had been on the plane for about an hour when Reid, who had been quiet for the most part, spoke up.

“I think we should look into Marinette's teacher as well as the two girls Matt mentioned.” Seeing the confused looks he continued, “While it may be possible that the teacher hasn't noticed what is happening with Marinette. If we go by what Matt said about how she seemed relieved that an adult other than her parents believed her, I think we can deduce that the school hasn't supported her. I read through the records about her that Garcia was able to get and her school file indicates that she has almost been expelled a few times since Miss Rossi joined the class. I find that strange because before that she had an almost spotless record there is even a note stating that she is generally quiet but will stand up to bullies. If you then take Frances' policy of emphasising the teacher's authority and how much they stress analytical thinking, it paints a picture of either a weak-willed teacher or one that just doesn't care.”

“I see where you going with this Pretty Boy, you think that the teacher has seen everything that Marinette is going through but instead of trying to help her, she's making Marinette lock away her natural reaction of standing up for herself in favour of trying to maintain the status quo. Marinette has probably tried to speak to her teacher but been told to simply keep quiet, which has then lead to her classmates thinking that she's been reprimanded and that what they are doing is the right thing.” Morgan sounded contemplative as he spoke.

“I could see that happening if the teacher wasn't very experienced with teens or perhaps was better suited to teaching much younger children.” This time it was Prentiss that spoke up. “Garcia can you-”

“Already ahead of you there. Records sent to your tablets but to summerise what I have found this is Caline Bustier's first teaching position, she applied to only teach art as she wanted to gain a bit more experience before teaching full classes. She has a history through her school career of fading into the background whenever there was any conflict near her. Ironically enough she was always found at the scene of a fight but never seen to be directly involved.” Garcia's fingers were flying over the keys of her laptop even as she gave her brief report.

JJ frowned, “Do you guys think she could have instigated those fights only to step back as the fight got bigger? I don't think I'd want to let her near my kids if that was the case.”

“That's presuming the parents knew about her history in the first place,” Reid interjected.

By this stage, Hotch was glad he had had the forethought to pack a tablet with games and movies along with headphones for Jack. He knew how strong Jack's sense of right and wrong was and knew that if Jack heard about what was happening to his big sister he wouldn't be happy. When he had told Jack where they were going and why Jack had just about bounced off the walls even as he promised to be the best little brother in the world. Apparently, some of his classmates had older siblings then themselves and Jack had been jealous of the bond they seemed to share.

The rest of the flight passed in much the same manner with the only pause in the conversation being for their in-flight meal as Jack took his headphones out while he was eating. They spoke about the backgrounds that had been pulled up for each of the people in Marinette's' class and felt they knew which ones would have been swayed and why as well as which ones would keep quiet out of fear. By the time their plane landed, they had agreed they would have to talk to Marinette first but they were pretty sure she would want to change schools to get away from all the negative memories that had been formed by her class.

The trip from the airport to the hotel was also uneventful however that changed soon after their arrival. They checked into the hotel and received their key card and were just about to gather their luggage when something large and scaley ran past them fairly quickly. It stopped near the doors watching them eagerly, it's tail waving wildly. They blinked then Reid broke the silence.

“Either I am seeing things or that is a crocodile. What is a crocodile doing in Paris, let alone in an upmarket hotel?” The team couldn't answer however it seemed they didn't need to as their answer arrived in the form of a teen with Ravens wing blue hair pulled into pigtails walked through the door, only to drop what she was holding as she fell to the floor with a lap full of the reptile.

“FANG!” she yelped. “Hey, silly boy why are you down here and not upstairs with your dad? You know you not allowed out of the room without a lead on. Did you escape just too great me?” Even as she calmed down and spoke, she was rubbing its jaw showing absolutely no fear of it despite its size. She even seemed to scold it through the giggles that were now trying to escape her lips. The huge croc simply rumbled in what could only be described as a purr. Another teen stalked into the reception hall to see what the commotion was, only for a sneer to cross her face.

“Uugh, it's you. Seriously why are you even here?”

“Hello to you too, Chloé. I'm sure I don't have to explain myself to you so instead of fighting, why don't I simply take Fang back to his room and then you don't have to see me.” As she replied to Chloé, she pushed the croc off her lap and gathered the bags that she had been carrying. They seemed to be clothing bags of some description. She then looked up and the BAU realised who the girl was, Marinette. Why was she here on a Friday night? Shouldn't she be at home? Why was she so comfortable around such a large crocodile?

“Fine! Just get out of my sight. This is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” The blond, Chloé, spun on her heel, flicked her hair and flounced off. Marinette looked at the BAU and seemed to read their confused faces as confusion over Chloés' behaviour.

“Don't worry about her,” she said reassuringly, “ Chloé is always like that, her father is the mayor and owns this hotel. She was also one of the temporary hero's at one stage so she likes to act like everyone else is beneath her.” She then looked down at the crocodile, “Right, let's go, Fang, your papa is probably pulling his hair out looking for you. I have his and Penny's order with me, they just need to have their final fitting then we can have some more cuddles, how does that sound?” The crocodile pranced in place, acting more like a big puppy rather than the reptile he was, then as Marinette walked towards the elevator he walked next to her, as perfectly behaved as any army dog. As she got the elevator she frowned then looked at them again.

“Since there are so many of you would some of you like to travel up with Fang and me? He's a big softy who wouldn't hurt a fly, I promise.”

Jack immediately started tugging Hotch's hand, “Please Dad? I want to pet him!” 

Hotch smiled softly yet worriedly, he was a little nervous for this to be his first interaction with his daughter but his paternal instinct wanted him to get to know her and find out why she was here with garment bags in the first place. JJ noticed his dilemma and volunteered to go up with them. Hotch smiled at her in relief and the three of them joined Marinette just as it arrived so they all piled in. Marinette quickly showed Jack how to pat Fang and the croc seemed to lap up the attention. It was pure chance that they were all going to the same floor so when the doors opened again Marinette let them out first then walked out only to be greeted by an overly loud shout.

“MARINETTE! And you found Fang for me! Rock on!”

 @virgil-is-a-cutie for the idea about madam Bustier

@a-marlene-s for all her support! You Rock!

[tofascinate]

twenty-twenty reflection

The year is 2020. I distinguish this year from the others. And there will be more. There might be many! I want to remember, if ever asked upon myself, that my year of 2020 was distinct from the mash of living. From the accordion of living, perhaps. From the “bellows” of my accordion life, here is my layer of 2020:

January

began with a visit from Kellan, the preparation for a long-anticipated trip to Hong Kong with Rohit. I was living at Momma’s. I had been working for her since I graduated in 2019, while I applied for job positions in cities and graduate programs in Europe and the West Coast.

In January I spent almost 2 weeks in Hong Kong with Rohit and his family. This was a life-changing trip. This was amazing. I felt so taken care of, and each day filled with exploration. And snacks. For the first time, Rohit helped me with Cantonese – every single time I asked, which was a lot, considering my personal goal was to learn as much casual Cantonese as I could while there. I recorded all my new vocabulary and phrases in a list on the plane ride back. Here I met Rohit’s family in their home element, spent an afternoon with Rohit’s mom, accompanied Rohit to friend meetups, and experienced a Chinese New Year family celebration (!!). I hiked the most exhausting and thrilling mountain of my life, called Lantau Peak (the second highest peak in Hong Kong). I felt some of my biases melt on this trip, and some of my interests open up and blossom.

I left Hong Kong as the coronavirus became an issue in the Eastern Asian world. I spent a night in Tokyo, not with Rohit, but with my nourishing airport snacks and exhausted schedule until my flight left the next day for the U.S.

February

In February life moved quickly. I applied to all 4 master’s programs, I had a second interview for a serendipitous job position in Philadelphia (the only job among many that wanted an interview!), I helped Rohit find an apartment in Norwalk, I left Rohit at his apartment in Norwalk, I accepted the job in Philadelphia, I found a place to live in Philadelphia (more magic was to come of that 2-weeks-before-moving FB find), and I moved to Philadelphia!!!

March

My momma helped me move here. To the city I’d never before been to, but in which I was about to find the happiest home. The first 2 weeks of this month were extremely memorable. I worked in the Comcast Technology Center building (a wow) as a LaunchCode teaching assistant for a 12-student, 14-week intro to computer programming and web development intensive course. I took every opportunity to explore the building, the surrounding city. The first week of connection with students was special. The idea of working the rest of the course remotely was ridiculously unlikely.

On March 14th, the pandemic was real. On March 13th, my co-teacher took home the classroom’s bottle of Purell.

My second roommate, Channing, and her kitty Tycho moved in. Deeksha, Channing, Tycho, and I would become a mini family.

We were in quarantine times, but I hadn’t had so much social interaction, peer interaction, freedom, intellectual stimulation, and work to do since the end of college 2019. It was a blessing to be where I was.

April

I will use April to say that I loved this job. It was a pinch-myself moment all the way through. I still sometimes can’t believe that I rose to the responsibilities, leadership, and organization required of me. Maybe it’s like that with new jobs that push you outside of your comfort zone and give you so much room to grow. LaunchCode was an extremely supportive and inspiring company to work for. The community of students (Comcast workers transitioning into future software engineering roles) were admirable and kind in how hard they worked, and how they helped each other.

I realized at this time that I was experiencing the dream I had put intention towards. It’s not always obvious realizing this. In fact, at first I thought I was accepting the job because it was the next best and only option. On the outside I didn’t know how meaningful it would be to me once immersed in it. When things all came together, I realized here I was, in the freedom of living independently from my home nest, in a friendly family of roommates, in a new city to explore, with a working position that supported me financially, allowed me to save for grad school, that opened me up to the computer science industry world, that used my strengths and pushed me to grow, that used my creativity, and that felt like I was being paid to learn.

I am sooooo grateful for serving in this role. It served me tremendously.

Also to be noted, Philadelphia spring. And Tycho the kitty made me love cats more than I thought I could love cats (who are now sometimes allowed to sleep under my blankets too).

May

At some point here, Deeksha, Channing, and I got to be really creative and goofy together. This plus sharing food and Deeksha eating my desserts ♡ ♡ = start of roomie love. Channing’s surprise birthday scavenger hunt.

At some point, I got accepted and not accepted into master’s programs!

And how did it happen that my random roommate’s husband was living and working in Germany following his CS master’s program there? Or that my roommate-friend would eventually move there too?

June

Work program extended by a week = another week of pay = I justify more so staying in Philadelphia longer… and longer… Staying also meant more time in the magical family and incredible bit of life I knew would end eventually. Staying meant not putting my parents at risk, or having to stay inside to keep them from risk.

In June I saw 6 helicopters flying above the city from my rooftop. I filmed them one night and was captured fleetingly in their search light. I stayed home for 6 and 8 pm curfews. I read ideas and information, and observed the panicked passion of my social media a little hesitantly. I spoke with my family. I read more until I felt settled and inspired with the movement of change. I walked around the city. I saw society a little differently; I saw reasons to question how I saw almost everything. 

The Monday after the big weekend, my coworkers asked me and us all how we were doing, if there were protests in our neighborhoods. It was the first time I saw my coworkers as Black. I didn’t know if I was saying the right thing. 

My co-teacher told me I was “lucky” I’d be moving out of the country. I told him I still wanted my home country to be a welcoming place for all. He was not so confident.

And! Rohit visited for a week :). I had fun and we both couldn’t wait to go back to having individual spaces to be ourselves.

July

At one point, with my job ended and Channing in North Carolina for most of the month, I was met with the pressure of everything I could do in the calm before the storm of change, and everything I wasn’t doing. A little rough. Oh to be leaving a place that has already been leaving you.

August

I moved in with Rohit in Norwalk! Took all my Philadelphia belongings in a car with not-friends Deeksha and Channing, and drove (Channing drove) to Norwalk. I was so grateful to them for that trip. We got a glimpse of the no-parking beaches. Specifically, we parked for 15 minutes in the “15 Minute Parking ONLY” spot by the beach at cotton candy sunset while Deeksha and I ran to the warm water and the two of us dove in like happy water pups and not 23- to 30-year-olds. Next day was a rockier beach and I’m still wishing Channing her next sunny beach day. This month was fun and without-a-car adventurous, though the airbnb-turned-rented-apartment that was actually’s Rohit’s didn’t quite feel like my settling in home. My daily purpose was working for my mom again and preparing for my master’s program.

I loved running so much with Rohit.

I did not love figuring out how to acquire a car to stay in Rochester for a month. Haha (thinking about tears). But we did it! And then we packed too many of my things into the car with Rohit’s things and drove 6 hours to Rochester, NY. 

September

I think we each ran longer distances than we had run before along the river trail in Rochester. We were a little outdoorsy. We had an ample supply of local Chinese bakery goods (that reminded me of Hong Kong bakery items). There was sun, but not in the apartment. By the way, this apartment was a miraculous coincidence from one of Rohit’s (very tidy and kind) friends who hadn’t been living there for months but would have to move out at the end of October. So we could pay him rent!

Also surprise to AriaRay’s patience, calm, and going with the flow acceptance: as a bonus level to the desperately declared plan of packing ahead of time to avoid the overwhelming stress of the previous move, Rohit and I learned we would also be cleaning and clearing out our friend’s apartment first! 

In the end, I had to accept that it was Rohit’s leading responsibility. Whatever we could do would make the experience easier for our absent friend. We moved out and found donation homes for almost everything. We did it! 5 pm and out the door to Burlington! (Extra exclamation points for whirlwind desperation and relief.)

October

I spent my last day with Rohit in Burlington. Burlington was love. And glorious fall.

I packed for Germany, I found a place to live in Germany, I boarded a plane to Germany. I got on the plane to Germany and went to sleep in Germany and thought, “Haha, isn’t it funny that I’m in Germany? Who thought of Germany?”

A new country and a new day to day life! I was grateful to be finally there and in awe that I had gotten to this point. My childhood self said, “when I’m 23, I’ll be in Europe.” Well, here I am.

We’re still in a pandemic. Meaning my classes are online and my traveling is cautiously limited to grocery store treks and to walks or bus rides around the city.

I have 3 very nice (and extraordinarily clean??) roommates from Ukraine, Russia, Iraq. All studying. One speaks better German than English, which is sometimes amusing as I really do want to have a conversation with her anyway.

Birthday, Halloween. But sometimes I forget and think my last birthday was in 2019. Blurry.

November

Hmmm studying. It still feels unprocessed to reflect on this. My master’s program can be considered a computational linguistics degree, formally called “Language Science and Technology M.Sc.” because to be more specific, this degree covers broader areas of computer science for language, and linguistics for computer science, than only computational linguistics. 

I do love the subject. It is by far a synthesis of my linguistics and cs interests. I’m learning a little more than what my focus for here initially has been. Is this a good thing? Maybe a nice cushion of knowledge and perspective. Still looking for how to study and process spoken language, how to relate this to second language acquisition. 

I think I get it. My core lectures right now are foundations for this field. I will leap from them into my specific field of interest. My software project is a learning ground for tools and seeds for future ideas, practice with coding group projects again. My seminars are for thinking, reading, discussing, weaving ideas, hearing from others seasoned in the topics and those of my peers investing their newfound or nurtured interests. Three more semesters.

Where will I be next?

I think I should mention one Thanksgiving meal that we cooked for, and shared with the additional guests of Olha’s partner Gaston and his roommate...with a name I can’t place now...from Morocco. This was a widely, uniquely fun night.

December

Hello cozy holidays, the first, by myself. My roommates and I decorated a tree from our local grocery store. I made cookies and cards, sent 14 gold letters. I spent hours decorating and felt creatively festive. ‘Tis the season :). Hoping everyone can feel the love I’m sending. 

Surprises came after small gifts appeared from each roommate to each other. Olha made us all Christmas gift bags of gingerbread cookies. I strung a decorated card on the tree for each roommate and shared cookies and oranges. Uliana wrapped Russian tea and a scented candle in parchment paper, leftover gold glittered tree ribbon, and a holiday clothespin. She wrote “Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!” in each of our languages: Russian (well, not Ukrainian), English, German. Zhenas gave us each a gift bag of treats. So, there has been magic in my apartment this season.

Happy New Year, and thank you 2020, for all the joy, discoveries, and change you have brought me. Here’s to love in 2021.

♡ 

[otterlydeerlightful]

LazyTown Ship Week #7

And now for something completely different XD

Day #7 - Travel/Vacations —————————————–

His suit case was packed. A little early, perhaps, but it was packed.  He had all the essentials he could think of: toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, clippers, razor, medication, underwear, socks, a few pairs of pants and matching shirts, a fanny pack to carry anything he might need on the go, even a hat to cover his head and keep the sun out of his eyes…was there anything else he was missing? Milford scratched his bare head as he looked at his bag. It was only half full, but he knew that he had to watch how much space his things took up; Bessie would need all the extra room she could get and he always offered to store some…or a lot…of her things in his bag.

“Oh my,” he breathed, glancing over at the calendar hanging on the wall. “There’s still so much to do!” He huffed, going through his mental checklist. “I bought the plane tickets, we have the room for the hotel, I’ve got brochures for all the resorts, Stephanie will be staying with Sportacus, but…oh dear. Oh no!” His eyes flew wide as he gasped in horror. “I forgot to book the second hotel! Where will we stay after—oh, oh and the boats! Oh, Ms. Busybody wanted so much to ride those! Oh, I’m so behind. How on earth could I have left so much to the last minute?”

Granted, the mayor had been incredibly busy lately. With Sportacus and Robbie around, things in LazyTown were always interesting in one way or another, but on top of that, Stephanie had needed help with a summer project for her extracurricular class she had signed up for, there were some town construction and maintenance contracts and problems to attend to, and…somehow in the bustle of it all, he had dropped the ball on his own vacation.

“Oh no,” he moaned, picking up a pile of brochures and travel guides and proceeding to haphazardly sift through them all to organize what had been planned and what was still up in the air. “How could I have forgotten so much? It was on my to-do list and…goodness…I should have written keep track of to-do list on my to-do list! If I had, I wouldn’t be in this mess!”

The sound of his phone ringing in the next room startled the man. Milford yelped in surprise, dropping most of the papers and booklets to the floor. He groaned at the sight of it all, the telephone still shrieking for his attention.

“Oh dear. That must be her. Oh, what am I going to tell Ms. Busybody? She deserves the perfect vacation,” he lamented.

Milford left the papers were they were for the moment in favor of answering his phone. He took a deep, steadying breath, and lifted the receiver from the hook.

“H-hello?”

“Milford! I just wanted to give you a ring to let you know I’m coming over in a minute. I’m just picking up a plate of cookies along the way, first. I thought we could enjoy them out on the patio.”

Oh no. She was coming over now? There wouldn’t be time to tidy up! The place was still such a mess from Stephanie’s project, and he hadn’t started dinner yet, either, and he had promised that he would stop by Bessie’s home earlier that afternoon to weed her garden while she was at the hairdresser and—oh, he had forgotten all about that, too! The mayor bit his lip, glancing back toward his bedroom only to catch sight of his suit case on the bed and the papers still strewn all over the floor. Oh, yes, how could he already forget that problem already? This was just much too much. Oh, this entire day was just a disaster!

“Milford?”

“Huh? Oh! Uh…sorry, Ms. Busybody. The connection must have cut out for a second.” Good save. “What was that you said?”

“Oh, I was just saying that Eleanor was telling me all about the evening tours we could take. She and her husband went some years ago, and she still has all their information. But I wasn’t sure if you thought that that sort of a tour would be something you’d be interested in or not. I mean, it’s just stories, after all. It’s not as though the carriage taking you everywhere is haunted, but you never know what sort of atmosphere a place might have until you get there and see it yourself. Eleanor seemed to like it, though, and you know what a scardy-cat she can be sometimes. Remember that costume party a couple years back? When she was scared silly by Roger’s mummy outfit? I couldn’t believe the look on her face! You’d think she went and actually met King Tut the way she…”

The man began to zone out, his anxieties distracting him from listening to the woman’s monologue. He loved Bessie dearly, but sometimes she could go a little overboard on the storytelling. Not that he didn’t want to hear what she had to say—he actually enjoyed hearing her voice and all the twists and juicy turns her tales had—but sometimes one’s ears just got tired and needed the occasional break.

Besides, his mind was too busy reeling to pay much attention anyway. Milford looked forlornly to the kitchen, his kettle for tea too far out of reach. He hated not having something to offer Bessie when she visited. Oh, why did he still bother to have a phone with a chord? He should have sprung for one of those wireless models ages ago so he could try to tidy up while Bessie talked instead of being rooted helplessly in place. There was no way he could make sure they had all of their reservations made and travel plans started, much less solidified, by the time she got here if he was stuck standing by the telephone. No, the universe had clearly decided that Milford was doomed. And, rightfully so, if he hadn’t been able to handle his mundane life enough to have a presentable home for his lady guest. What a disaster.

“…and after that, the fish will be just—oh! I guess I must have been walking faster than I thought!” Bessie giggled on the other end of the phone line. “I guess I’ll see you in just a little bit, Milford.”

The man swallowed and sputtered out a distressed “O-okay, Ms. Busybody. I’ll see you then.”

Milford hung up the phone, staring at the receiver for a few moments in dismay. It was ruined. Everything was a mess, their trip tomorrow was still somehow only half-planned…oh, she was going to be so disappointed. And disappointed in him. Ms. Busybody deserved the best, after all, and it was what she was used to, but Milford had let her down terribly, and with no time to fix things before she found out.

“Well,” he said to himself, “Maybe I can at least have that tea ready for when she—”

Ding ~ Dong!

Milford could feel his heart sink straight into his stomach as he now realized what the woman’s last comment had meant before their conversation ended. Oh no. He swallowed, shuffling toward his front door like a man lead to the gallows. His hand rested momentarily on the door handle while he mentally prepared himself for the disappointment he would soon be delivering to the most wonderful woman in his town. Milford let out a slow breath, put on a smile, and opened the door.

“Ta-da!” Bessie laughed, holding her hands out in faux surprise, holding the box of cookies in one and her phone still in the other, a heavy-looking handbag hanging from the elbow.

“H-hello, Ms. Busybody!” he greeted kindly. “Come on in. I...well, pardon the mess. I’m so sorry, Stephanie had a project she was working on and I suppose I got a little side-tracked when it came to cleaning and—”

“Oh, don’t worry at all, dear. I’ve had to babysit the kids in this town enough to know that messes are never far behind,” Bessie assured him as she bustled past in search of his kitchen counter to put her things down.

Milford closed the door and wordlessly followed the woman to the kitchen. Bessie was already picking up their conversation from wherever it was they had left off, so he went to add some water to the kettle while she finished her thought.

“What do you think?”

Oh no, as if his blunders today couldn’t get any worse.

“I…what?”

How lost he felt must have shown on his face, because Bessie furrowed her brow and cocked her head as she looked at him. Milford stood there, frozen. Some part of his brain insisted that if he stayed still, maybe the problem would go away, that she would find something to occupy herself, but it was an obvious lie and he knew it.

“Milly, are you alright?” the woman asked.

Oh, she would find it all out anyway soon enough, wouldn’t she? Milford let out a heavy sigh and let his shoulders slump. “No,” he admitted. “I suppose not.”

Bessie pulled out one of the stools from the kitchen island and patted it. “Milford, sweetheart, come here and tell me what’s wrong,” she said, her tone soft and eyes warm as she looked over his face in concern.

The mayor did as he was told, sitting next to the blue-haired woman. He stared at the countertop while she rested a gentle hand on his back and began to rub it in small, comforting circles.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Milford.”

“Oh, Ms. Busybody,” the man breathed in dismay. “I’m so very sorry. I know you’ve so been looking forward to this vacation, but I’m afraid I’ve bumbled the entire thing before it even began!”

“Milford, honey, I doubt that. What’s happened with it? We’re still going, aren’t we?”

“Well, yes…”

“I remember you said you bought the plane tickets.”

“Yes.”

“And we were going to stay in that nice hotel by the beach for the first bit, right?”

“Oh, yes, I…I reserved our room there right away…that was almost a year ago, with how popular it is…”

Bessie blinked at him, not seeming to understand his distress. “Then what’s wrong, Milford?”

“Everything else, I’m afraid. I got so busy with work, and the house, and packing...I only realized today that I didn’t get anything else ready at all! I have all the brochures, but no reservations or tickets for anything! Oh, I know you were so looking forward to—”

The mayor was cut off by the woman placing a finger to his lips.

“Milford,” she said sternly, despite the kind smile she wore, “That’s all we need. We can find accommodations for the last half of the trip as we go, even if it’s not the grandest. We’ll be out and about all day anyway.”

“But—”

“No buts, Milly. You take on too much sometimes.” She looked a little ashamed, then. “And, I’ll admit, I heap a little too much on top of that myself.” Bessie went back to smiling quickly. “That’s why I decided it was high time that I start helping and do some of the work myself.”

He made a face, not sure what she was getting at. Bessie reached for her purse laying on the counter and reached inside. Out came a pile of familiar-looking brochures, as well as a fair number of notebook pages tucked here and there with notes scribbled all over them.

“I knew you were feeling a little bogged down lately from all the contracts and craziness at city hall,” Bessie said with a knowing smirk, “So I took the liberty of coming up with a few itineraries we could choose from. I thought maybe today we could compare notes and finalize things. It looks like it might be easier decision-making than I anticipated.”

Milford’s eyes widened. “Oh my! You…you did it all…yourself?”

“Of course, Milford. What do you think, I can’t handle myself?”

He squirmed uncomfortably where he sat.

“Anyway,” Bessie said, rolling her eyes. “Would you like to take a look over tea and cookies? We can make some calls and see what spaces are left and make reservations tonight, finish packing tomorrow morning and…well, go catch a plane! What do you say?”

“I…I don’t know what to say. Ms. Busybody…”

“You don’t have to say anything, Milford. I wanted to help. I realize I should probably do that more than I have been. This felt like a good place to start.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the shrill whistle of the kettle. Milford jumped up and raced over to take it off the heat and pour each of them some tea. He could feel the woman watching him from behind as he did. As he poured, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Things might be alright after all. A small smile tugging at his lips, he turned around to offer Bessie her mug. She thanked him and pulled it close.

“Thank you, Ms. Busybody.”

“No, thank you, Milford.” She laughed out loud. “And call me Bessie, please! It’s been years now, hasn’t it?”

The mayor blushed. “Oh my. Uh, yes. Thank you, Bessie.”

[12miraenie]

56 + 8 with baekhyun please! Thank you ❤️

A/N: It’s here! Ahh, it’s so much longer than I expected. I hope you enjoy! 💕 Sorry if there are typos or grammatic errors, I am such a clutz sometimes.😂 

You two fought on the same topic. Again.

Last time was in SM’s training center. You stomped out without turning back and slammed the door on him. This time was in Japan, he closed the taxi door after you got in and gestured for the driver to drive away, leaving him without a jacket on the street in winter.

You couldn’t go out and run after him when the car was moving so fast in traffic. Frantically, you rolled down the window and turned your head back. The cold wind blew on your face making your hair fly in all kinds of direction, but your focus was on the lone figure walking in the opposite direction. You wanted to shout or ask what the fuck he was thinking, or curse out loud, but when he disappeared around the street corner, you rolled the window back up and sank into the car seat with a heavy sigh.

You paid the driver and hurried into the lobby. It was too cold outside, your fingers felt like falling off. When did Japan’s winter become this? Your thoughts wandered back to Baekhyun, where could he be doing now, without money or even a jacket? You swiped the keycard to open the door and closed it behind you. You threw your bag on the bed and stared at the still unopened suitcase. You knew Baekhyun didn’t like it when others interrupt him while he’s working, but does he hate it that much?

You knew he was promoting a new Japanese album with Minseok and Jongdae and prepared long beforehand. You spent your only 5 days of vacation available in the year and did a week of extra work just to be with him for 3 days. You had flown all the way from London to Tokyo just to see him. It was an excruciatingly long flight, and you didn’t rest at all. Before leaving, you had asked his members specifically not to tell him that you were coming, because you haven’t seen each other face to face in so long, and you figured a surprise would be nice.

But when you showed up in front of him, your boyfriend did not look happy at all. He pulled your arm and dragged you into a quiet hallway and demanded to know why you were here.

“Baek, I am here to see you. I know your schedule, and I put time off work-” You smiled at him, the happiness of seeing him in person prevented you from reading the annoyance in his eyes.

“I don’t have time. I am in the middle of practice right now.” He crossed his arms.

“No, practice ended like 10 minutes ago. Come one, let’s go have dinner. I already reserved a spot.” You had already pulled out a hat and a mask, waiting for him to put them on. Baekhyun grumbled a yes and snatched them from your hand.  

You two were in reverse roles. He was picking at his food and not really paying attention while you were trying to fill up the silence. Not to say that you didn’t feel the awkward silence that should never exist between you and Baekhyun, but you tried your best to ignore it and convinced yourself that he’s just tired. Knowing that you and Baekhyun haven’t really talked, you tried to fill him in about your new apartment, work, and friends in London. You were in in the middle of telling a funny story in the office when he put down his chopsticks rather loudly.

“Stop it. You are being annoying.” Baekhyun interrupted your story abruptly and pushed his hair back.

You were more than surprised, and not in a pleasant way. This was not the Baekhyun you remembered. He was acting cold and distance, completely the opposite to who he should be. You reached out a hand to touch his arm, but he dodged it, leaving your arm hanging in the air awkwardly.

“Baek…Are you-Is there something wrong?”  

“Can we just finish and go now? I don’t want to be here anymore.” Baekhyun put down his napkin and fished out his phone. He opened a game app and stopped paying attention to you. Normally, you would have snapped and ask him why he was acting like that. But you canceled everything to stay here with him for 3 days, so you swallowed the words about how hard you had tried to reserve this place and how tired you were because of the time difference.

Staring at the table of food, you suddenly found your appetite long gone. You took one last sip of water and stood up. “Ok, let’s go.”

“Wait. Tell me what’s wrong.” You stopped him on the street and asked softly, “Is it because of work? You must be stressed from all the recording and practice.”  

Baekhyun let out an exasperated breath, and pushed his hands in the pockets of his pants. “No, the only thing that’s stressing me out is you. You should know better than anyone how much I hate being interrupted during schedules. I didn’t want you to come here.”  

Stunned to silence, you were unable to come up with a response. How could he say that? The first time he sees you in so long, and he doesn’t want you here? You felt so wronged that you wanted to cry. He brushed past you to hail a taxi and ushered you in.

“Just go back. I have no time for you.”

Now you are lying on your bed, crying silently in the hotel room. Words he spoke earlier echoed in your head, they just won’t go away no matter how hard to tried to push them out. Maybe you should have screamed at him, demanding him to give you a reason why he can’t spare time for his girlfriend. Maybe you should stop thinking about him. You went online and changed your returning flight to tomorrow and soon closed your eyes to sleep.

You got to the airport the next day and contemplated telling Baekhyun, but you were too angry to do so. Eventually, you sent a text to Jongdae, saying that you are heading back because of an emergency situation at work. You didn’t want them to know about the fight between you two. It would be too embarrassing. After Jongdae replied and sent you a cute emoji to cheer you up, you turned off your phone and got on the plane.

Baekhyun woke up the next day feeling absolutely the worst. It was too damn cold last night on the streets, and he had to walk back to his hotel. His throat hurt, so does his head. Baekhyun cursed, he’s in absolutely no condition to record today then. He pushed himself off the bed and went to get a glass of water. In normal situations, you would already be giving him medicine and commanding him to go back to bed already.

Baekhyun sighed, he was being a total jerk to you last night. He just had so much stress from trying to remember Japanese lyrics and new choreographies, the moment you came he just snapped. You are the last person he should be angry with, now he needed to find a way to apologize.

He tried calling you, but your phone was turned off. Baekhyun frowned in confusion, shouldn’t you be in Japan now? He texted and waited, but you never replied. He was about to head out to find you when he realized that he didn’t even know your hotel name. Baekhyun sighed, maybe you are angry at him. He should wait until you calm down a bit and meet up with you.

Baekhyun was the second to arrive. Jongdae was already doing stretches in the practice room in front of the mirror when he opened the door.

“Ah, you are here.” Jongdae greeted him cheerfully, “I feel so bad for you and Y/N. You two should go on another trip together when we have a break.”

Did Jongdae know you are here? Baekhyun voiced his confusion. “You knew?”

“Huh? Yeah, she texted me and explained like an hour ago.” Seeing Baekhyun’s confused expression, Jongdae continued, “I mean, she asked Minseok hyung and me about our schedule before coming here to surprise you. By the way, how was dinner last night? I wanted to try that restaurant for ages. It takes like 3 months to reserve a spot. How did Y/N even get a table? Tag me next time.”

Jongdae patted Baekhyun’s shoulder and screwed a bottle of water open. Fuck, he messed up big this time.

“Umm, does our schedule end tonight?” There was a tremble in his own voice that Baekhyun didn’t fail to notice. His words and actions suddenly came back to his mind, Baekhyun started to panic.

“Yeah, our flight back is right after the last schedule.”

Baekhyun just bought a plane ticket for himself the first time in 2 years. He didn’t look at the price, or which airline, or which class. All he looked for was the first one after 9pm when he’s done with his schedule.

He didn’t know how he got through the photoshoot. Baekhyun was jittery and fidgeting the whole time. His mind and his heart were already 10 thousand miles away, in London. He was thinking about you, replaying the hurt and disappointment on your face that you tried so hard to conceal. He wanted to slap himself right on the face, hard. He wouldn’t be surprised if you did.

Checking that he has his phone, passport, and wallet, Baekhyun walked towards the terminal. Angry messages from his manager kept popping as notifications. Baekhyun didn’t even explain clearly why he would be going to London, instead of Seoul. Jongdae and Minseok texted him too. Baekhyun sighed, and replied to them that he’s going to find you. They didn’t have anything planned back home anyways.

Baekhyun was too glad that he has your office address on his phone. He isn’t particularly fluent in English, and if he wasn’t able to show the address to the taxi driver, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Luckily, you weren’t hard to find when he arrived. He told the receptionists your name, and they pointed him to your office. Baekhyun knocked and waited for your familiar voice to say “come in” before opening the door.

You were sipping on coffee and doing something on your laptop when you looked up to see Baekhyun here. You choked in surprise and kept blinking your eyes to make sure that he was actually here and you weren’t just seeing things. Baekhyun was fast to react. He quickly pulled out napkins and handed them to you.

“What are you doing here?” Finally, you stopped coughing and asked him coldly. You saw something falter in his eyes, but repressed the feeling of guiltiness. He didn’t deserve a welcome after what he did anyway.

“I…I came here to apologize.” He muttered in a small voice. You interrupted.

“There’s no need. I am also busy right now, so you should stop wasting your time and go back.” You stopped looking at him and turned your attention to your laptop.

“No.” Baekhyun moved quickly to grab your arm, you tried to shake his hands off, but his hold was too strong.

“Let go, Baekhyun.” You sighed, tired of his actions.

“Please, just…listen to me.” He pleaded, a sense of weakness in his voice. “I…I was a complete, total jerk to say all those things to you. You don’t deserve being lashed out by me because I was in a bad mood. I am sorry that-I was too stressed about work, and everything just came down around me. And I was sorry for using you as an outlet for my anger and frustration, Y/N.”

He loosened his hold but still continued. “I keep thinking about you since then. The whole way to the airport. The 10 hours of flight. The way here. I…It was the biggest mistake for me to send you on that taxi…I am sorry for letting my emotions get the best of me.”

Baekhyun dropped his hands and kept his gaze down. You stared at him, at the eyebags and dark circles under his eyes, at his unruly hair, at his tired posture.

“Don’t watch me leave like that next time. It hurt me too much, Baekhyun ah. Promise me that.”

“I won’t, I promise. There won’t be a next time, I am never letting you go.”

You went closer and hugged him. Baekhyun’s body froze in surprise, but relaxed when he felt your arms on his back and your head on his chest. He breathed out in relief and hugged you back tightly.

“I am still mad, don’t forget that.” You looked up and found his eyes easily, “but for now, stay here and I’ll tell my boss so we can go home and some rest together.”  

[laravilma]

Tomorrow, I’ll meet six of my siblings for the first time.

Sunday, December 30th, I’ll be on a plane to Las Vegas to meet my four sisters and two brothers. I’m at a loss for words as to what to type. This is definitely a rare experience and somehow I’m right in the middle of it. Everyone I relay the story to tells me to type up the whole journey, so here I am. And here you are, reading it. I’ll try to explain things to the best of my ability. I don’t have the greatest memory, so some of my details might seem a little out of place. I’ll correct myself as I go--sorry about that.

Back in 1999, my parents wanted to have a child, but due to some complications my mum wasn’t able to have a child of her own. My parents reached out to a hospital program to purchase a donor egg. I’m not sure if the donor selected the family or if the family selected the donor, but one way or another I was the lucky egg. I’ll find out which way it was later. The egg was removed from the donor, combined with my dad’s DNA, and put in my mum, who got pregnant with and later gave birth to me. I’m not genetically related to her, even though she was the one who gave birth to me. Kind of cool, right? It gets cooler.

Growing up my parents never sugar coated where I came from. I also knew there was a donor who I shared half my DNA with, and the other half I share with my dad. It was always in the back of our minds that there was a possibility the donor had donated other eggs, or had even had kids of her own, meaning I could potentially have half siblings. My parents never had another child of their own either, so I was an only child growing up. I always dreamed about having a little sister or brother, but it never came to be.

Due to security purposes, we weren’t legally allowed to know who the donor was. We were provided with little bits of information about her, like her background and her interests. All these details are stored away in a folder in our filing cabinet. I know she’s primarily Egyptian, Swedish, and Jordanian. She has dark brown curly hair, similar to my natural hair, bright eyes, and a big smile. She attended SMC, and was planning on attending either CSUN or USC in 1999. I have three pictures of her from around that time as well. There are some other details about her I’ll find in a bit after I dig out the file. I never knew her name, or her number, or anything personal. I basically had nothing on her to tell who she really was. One day I dreamed of meeting her, and getting a little more information on who I am and my background. It seemed like a loose dream.

In 2014, I was in my freshman year of high school. In our Biology class we could get extra credit if we signed up with 23andMe and demonstrated the DNA process and results to the class. I’ve always been super into family history, as are my parents, so they agreed to pay for half of it as long as I paid for the other half. So when my kit arrived, I brought the test tube to school, proudly spat into the chemical mixture in the tube in front of the class, and later sent the mixture in the kit back to the 23andMe facilities. I got results of my DNA ancestry after, and I learned I was 11% Italian, which I never knew.

The cool thing about 23andMe is that they constantly update you. I’m always receiving new bits of information about my health, my background, and more as time continues on. For instance, every so often 23andMe will connect me with some distance cousin three times removed (or something like that) who has also made a public 23andMe account.

I’d had this account for about five years, and I checked it maybe once to every few months. Since I was young when the account was made, it was connected to my mum’s email. It was late October of this year when my mum told me she had just received an email from the website, claiming they had connected me with a half-sibling.

Of course my mind went in a hundred different directions at once.

Was this a scam? Or a mistake?

Or was this real?

Who was this?

I immediately dove onto my laptop and logged into my account, only to discover 23andMe had matched me with FIVE people, all of which were supposed to be my half siblings. I couldn’t believe it. I was stunned into silence, and immediately began crying. I didn’t quite know why I was crying, or what about, but this seemed like it was the beginning of something big.

It was.

I noticed a notification on my screen. It was a message from one of the half-siblings the site listed, named Anna. This was the message:

“Lara, Hi.  I'm sure you don't remember me (frankly, I don't remember you either) but we met through our parents at The Plaza Hotel in NYC when we were both very young. I believe we first met in December of 2003. I was 2 1/2 at the time. I think you may have been a year or two older than me. I'm 17 now and the oldest of 6 kids in my family w/2 dads.  My younger sisters (Izzy, Addy, & Carrie) and brothers (Ryan and Henry) and I hope we have a chance to talk to you sometime soon.  As always, take care of yourself.  Anna“

I was immediately confused. The first time I had ever been to New York was in the spring of this year (2018), so that couldn’t be right. I was instantly worried that this was some sort of mistake, and that I had gotten my hopes up for nothing. Could 23andMe have screwed up? I clearly wasn’t the person Anna thought she was talking to, so was this wrong? But no, it couldn’t be. 23andMe had matched us by DNA. We literally had the same DNA. So there was no way this was wrong. I messaged her back, not sure what type of response I would get:

“Hi! I don't believe we actually did meet... I've never been to NYC until this year. I'm 18 now. I matched DNA with your sister Izzy and your brother Ryan, and two others Carrie and Henry. I was a donor child, so I only share DNA with my actual dad and a different woman. By any chance, were you and your siblings donor children too? Or was your mother a donor? Can't believe we share so much DNA! This is amazing!! Lara :)”

I eagerly awaited a response. Three days later I was in Davis, visiting a friend at her college. It was late at night and my friend, her roommate, and I were all sat around in their dorm on our laptops just relaxing. I had been checking 23andMe about once a day, looking for any sort of reply. I decided to check it again, and low and behold I had a new message from Anna.

“Hey Lara, I'm sorry I took so long to answer. It's so cool that we share so much DNA! My siblings and I actually have 2 dads. Our genealogy is shared from the same egg donor.  We have information about her. But, my siblings and I think it would be best if our parents had a chance to talk about all of this before we continue talking.  Do you think you could talk to your mom or dad about possibly contacting one or both of my dads?  If so, one of my dad's names is Pete.  His cell-phone number is (----------).  He knows about all of this, and he thinks it's great that we connected! Hope to hear back from you soon! Anna :))”

Of course, I was absolutely elated. Silent tears burst down my cheeks as I reread her message over and over again. So this hadn’t been a mistake. I truly had half siblings. Real, living, breathing, siblings. This was so remarkable. I shakily turned to my friend, who was immediately concerned over my crying. I could barely get my words out as I was trying to explain to her what had happened, and that I was happy. I hugged my friend and sobbed into her arms. My life was getting crazier as the days passed, and I was barely keeping up. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

Once I composed myself a bit, I replied to Anna's message, telling her I’d tell my parents to give her dad a call as soon as I was home from visiting my friend.

About a week passed, and I was finally home. I had kept my parents updated with everything that was happening, so they were up to speed when they called Pete.

They spoke on the phone with him the office. I know their conversation with him was supposed to be private, but I couldn’t resist myself from listening in. I sat on the bathroom floor for the next hour, right outside of the closed office door. I know it wasn’t exactly “right” to be eavesdropping on their conversation, but could you blame me? This was one of the biggest changes in my life, and I definitely not going to miss any of it.

So I sat on the tile floor, my head resting against the wall. My parents spoke softly to Pete, causing me to strain my ears to listen. They spoke about his kids, how there’s six of them, all related to me. The oldest is 17, the next two are 16, next is 13, and the youngest two are 11. Pete told my parents a bit about their personalities, and my parents echoed back how my personality was so similar. I stayed on the bathroom floor silently grinning.  

Pete talked about my donor, telling my parents more about her than we ever knew. He told us her name, and that she was happily married in Sweden. She is super outgoing and kind. She was artistic and intelligent, and my parents connected our similarities. I was grinning ear to ear, crying softly. Pete explained she had given eggs to two other families around the same time as me, which meant there are two more siblings out there. I have eight half-siblings total, as far as I know.

The funniest part of it all is that, Pete explained, he knew one of the families, and they had met before in 2003. The daughter that had been donated was the same age as me, and had the same name--Lara--spelled the same way. That’s why when Anna first contacted me on 23andMe she thought I was the other Lara she had already met.

I have a half-sister, who is the same age as me, who is named Lara.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?

Pete explained some things had happened between the families, and they didn’t speak anymore. I’m really hoping on this trip I can learn more about Lara, and maybe even contact her.

Moving on, Pete explained my donor didn’t want to have contact with the kids she donated. Of course, I’ve always imagined what it would be like to be able to meet her and thank her for giving me the opportunity of life, and for giving my parents a child. So I was a little crushed. Nevertheless, I have to respect her decision, and I do understand why she would want to keep her distance. Maybe one day she’ll change her mind.

I Skyped with the three oldest that night, Ryan, Anna, and Izzy. They were so kind and sweet, and I was overwhelmed with how many of the same interests we shared. We talked for hours, until they had to go to sleep because they had school in the morning.

Later in November, my phone had broken, so I couldn’t text them as much. I logged onto my Snapchat one evening on my mum’s phone, as I hadn’t been on in weeks. I noticed a message from Izzy.

Opening it, she told me her family was traveling to Las Vegas for New Years, and asked if I would want to join them. I couldn’t believe this. I immediately replied yes, and joyously jumped around the house while explaining to my parents what she had just asked.

Within a few days, my flight was booked for Vegas. I would leave on December 30th, and return home on January 3rd.

Tomorrow is December 30th. Tomorrow, I meet them. My suitcase is packed, and I’m lying in bed typing this. My flight is at 2:30pm. Tomorrow I meet my siblings. This is insane. I don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight.

Oh. My. God.

I’ll continue updating as things progress. For now, I’m just anxiously awaiting tomorrow’s experience.

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

338: Tips on Taking the Eurostar between Paris and London

It's been said that taking the Eurostar (which runs under the English Channel, connecting London to Brussels, Paris, Lille, Rotterdam and Amsterdam) is much more like taking a plane ride than taking a train ride, and in many respects, I would have to agree.

Why? It's swift, it's non-stop and there is wonderful service and amenities for comfort as you drift along in either direction.

Today's episode/post is for the first-time traveler choosing to take the Eurostar and especially for those of you like me, who don't live in Europe or Britain and want to see as much of the two countries that you love during one trip with ease.

I booked my first ticket on the Eurostar in 2012, boarding in London, destined for Paris. Riding Standard (aka Coach) with my traveling companion, the ease of having your luggage with you, sitting in comfortable seats with spacious seating arrangements all the while knowing the only stop will be your stop eased my mind as it was the first time I had traveled abroad to Europe since 2000.

Fast forward to 2022, and I booked our Standard Premiere tickets (there are three classes - Standard, Standard Premiere and Business Premiere), leaving Paris, departing for London. The upgrade was lovely and worth the additional space, a bit quieter (although Standard was fairly quiet as well), and the upgrade in dining service was oh, so good. But I am getting ahead of myself.

How to Take/Book the EuroStar

1.Book online via Eurostar.com

Booking online is super simple as their website is easy to navigate. You will see all of the prices for each of the classes on the date you have chosen up front. You then continue through the process and can print out or email yourself the ticket. You can also upload your ticket on the Eurostar App on both Apple or Google, which I would recommend as you can receive notifications of any changes, etc.

2. Book as far in advance as you can, let me explain why - don't worry you can change the time you depart

So I did a little bit of experimenting just to see if booking ahead was worth it, and found out that indeed it was. The earlier you book, the cheaper the tickets will be no matter what time of day. The closer our departure day came on the calendar, those same tickets kept inching up in price (Standard can be less than $100, and while Business Premiere doesn't change as much as you near, it does increase; in comparison, in just one week's departure, the Standard can be $200 or more). But here is why I encourage you to book early even if you are not certain about the time or even day you want to leave: Eurostar permits you to change your ticket for free up to 7-days before your departure; the only thing you would have to pay for is the difference if you change the class your ticket is in. So for example, I had originally planned for us to depart late in the afternoon, but then I realized, nope, we want to leave earlier and can leave earlier, so I went in and changed it. No extra fee, same ticket. If you change your ticket within 7 days before your departure, you will incur an exchange fee.

Arriving at the train station either in London (St. Pancras) or Paris (Gare du Nord)

Departing from Paris (Gare du Nord)

1.Take a right and then go up the escalator

Having had the opportunity just recently to travel on the Eurostar from Paris, I have to give much thanks to our taxi driver (Victor's Cabs and G7). As soon as we arrived at Le Gare du Nord in the center of Paris on the right bank, he instructed us to take the right upon entering the doors and go up the escalator to the Eurostar. Phew!

2. Checking in takes place upstairs above the trains

If you have traveled in Paris and used the Metro you know that the Gare du Nord is a central hub for trains in the city, and many lines of trains run in and out of this station. The boarding for the local, within France, trains takes place on the lower level. The Eurostar loading platform and waiting room and check-in are upstairs on the second level which is accessible by both elevator and escalator. See my pic below of the view from this level after having just road up the escalator with our luggage. The trains you see here are the local trains, not the Eurostar trains. The Eurostar trains on the other side, left of these trains (and I neglected to take a photo - argh!).

3. You can only check-in when your time is welcomed (about 1 hour before departure)

You will have to wait in the open area just to the left of the escalators once you go to the second floor until your train departure time is welcomed. This not a bad place to wait as there is much to entertain the eyes (the photo above was captured while waiting here); however, this is helpful to know because you don't have to arrive two hours early for example in fear that you will get through security lines earlier. They won't even begin to process your ticket or begin security checks until your window is open for check-in.

4. The waiting area for EuroStar is separate from the other trains

Once you check-in and go through security, the large waiting area has many seats (although they fill up fasts when departure time nears (it was nearly packed just 15 minutes before we boarded - standing room only). There is also coffee and food, as well as a Pierre Hermé chocolatier shop.

5. The order of classes on the train - which way to go to board

Initially, you follow the signs and everyone goes the same way (from the waiting area on the second floor and down the stairs), but once you are the train level, you have to know where you class is loading. You are looking for your Car #, but even that can be confusing on your first time if you aren't sure. They do station employees at each door to each cab so you can check before you get on, but just know that Business Premiere (1st class) is the furthest down the train heading toward London, and Standard is the closest to the station.

6. Finding a Taxi upon arrival

Upon stepping outside of the train station in London, simply cross the street, then turn right, walking until you see the long long of taxi cabs. You will then go around a soft corner to your left and see the Taxi Queue to stand in (silver bars creating rows). Even if the line is long, it does tend to move quite swiftly. The pictures below is taken while waiting in the queue for our taxi and St. Pancras station is seen across the road.

Departing from London (St. Pancras)

1.Check-in is on the same level as when you enter from the street

You will easily see the long winding lines as you walk in the door and EuroStar signage. I found London's Eurostar check-in area much easier to find than in Paris which is why I was grateful to our taxi driver. Once you are in line (they too will only let so many people in the queue determined by when you train leaves, you will have your ticket scanned and go through security (à la Brexit).

2. Waiting area

While the last time I waited in this space was ten years ago, I do know and saw at a glance this time around when we arrived from Paris, it is largely the same. Very modern, a bit smaller than Paris', but I liked it. There is ample seating and food and beverage available. However, I would peruse St. Pancras' entire station before getting in line to check-in as they have many, many shops (for news and books - they have a Hatchards bookshop now in the station which is quite lovely - look for the William Morris Willow Bough wallpaper in the shop, food and shopping).

3. Loading the train

The reverse is true as to where your Class car is located, but again, they have employees by each door to each cab to ensure you step on the correct one.

The loading area is the one with the ginormous bronze statue of the two lovers greeting each other in an embrace. I absolutely love this station. And be sure to visit the St. Pancras Brasserie, or Champagne Bar as it is often referred for sip and nibble before or after you arrive or depart.

A look of the side exterior of St. Pancras, captured while waiting in the taxi queue line (which moves quite quickly). Simply cross the street when you walk out the doors on the ground level, and you will see where all the taxis are going, and then the queue of silver metal rows.

Benefits of Taking the Eurostar

1. Sustainable travel

Eurostar states proudly that when you choose to take the train from London to Paris (or visa versus) you are emitting 93% less CO2 per passenger, to Brussels 92% and to Amsterdam 86%.

2. Fewer security limitations

There are no limits on liquids as there are on planes, even though you do pass through security checks, you and your luggage.

3. Luggage weight is not limited

While the amount of luggage you bring is limited (2 pieces + 1 personal for Standard and Standard Premiere; 3 pieces + 1 personal for Business Premiere), your luggage will not be weighed.

4. Delicious food - chef Raymond Blanc menu!

If you choose to purchase Business Premiere tickets, you will have the opportunity to enjoy a menu and meal created by chef Raymond Blanc (learn more about him here as I spoke about him previously here on the blog). Even with our Standard Premiere tickets we had a delicious meal, complete with drink service, alcohol before and during the meal - all part of the ticket price.

5. Friendly service

The service is more attentive as you go up in class, but all was welcoming and comfortable.

6. Comfortable seating

Spacious area to rest your eyes, read and simply watch the French countryside whiz by as you spend most of your time going through Normandy, and only about 20 minutes under the English Channel going through the Chunnel, and maybe 15 minute above ground in England.

7. A swift ride

The train ride length, non-stop, is just over 2 hours. I am always amazed as how fast this time flies especially as you will be enjoying a meal. Before you know it you have arrived in another country with your luggage right along side you (you place it in the front or back of the car you are in, and can also place carry-on above you).

Traveling by Eurostar is my way of traveling back and forth between the two countries that I love. I find it quite stress-free, enjoyable whilst on the train and delicious too! Learn more on EuroStar's home site here.

Petit Plaisir

~Le Fine Fleur

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #338

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Explore all of the posts/episodes share during TSLL's 7th Annual French Week

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[leeminli]

So today, my mom talked about how anti social I am. Like I've gone through 18 years in life and I still only talk to one friend.

Mom: You know, if you joke more often and be more open minded, your circle of friends will increase.

Me: Well, even if I am open minded and joke more often, none will take it for granted.

Mom: See, this is the problem you have. Your mindset.

Me: After what happen in highschool, I rather have a small and barely there circle.

Mom: That was once. You met the wrong people. Look at me, I have so many good friends.

Me: Well, probably because you are from a village and they have a more purer mindset then city people.

So basically for a better and wider understanding, I did have friends. A class of them in highschool. Call me dumb. I treated them whole heartedly. They need help I would always help as much as possible. Forget a printout, I brought extras and they would thank me. Was it real? Unfortunately no. It was pure business. Pure benefit and not friendship.

I was in math class, lying on the teachers desk at the front (lights off, totally silent) my classmates (few girls) walked in saw my bag and started speaking loudly.

Classmate A: Let's put (friends girl) bag next to ( l= me) since she hates her.

Classmate B: Yeah, let's do it. None of us like her so let's place (friends girl) there, since she hate her the most.

Let me tell you, this was the first time I had my view of my class mates changed.

Then the next time, we head to Vietnam for a class work. I was chosen. So I shared a room with that friend B. During the trip, she snatch my money saying she didn't bring (she brought more than me in fact.) Then don't know what she spread to her friend (one of them is from Dubai) and another (chinese), they gave me a mocking gaze and then shared it with the rest of the class mates.

What did it result? Them looking at me with a strange, pitiful gaze. Later on when we took our plane tickets to depart. One of the B' friend, the Chinese shouted.

Chinese: I'm sitting at 13D

Me: *Took my ticket and smile at her* Looks like were neighbors

Chinese: *Mocking smile and glance* Who even wants to be neighbors with you!?

That was truly when I actually felt that none of them are real.

I honestly don't know maybe its my luck or what. First year in highschool, barely even pass the first day I already receive disdainful looks from the class.

Three months pass the first day, I was backstab by friends who decided to join another few boys in a project and only plan to inform me after they submit

Another few months later, they framed me from lying to them. Saying that they had called me but they did not calling me a liar.

Last year before graduation, sports carnival. They frame me for being a ruthless senior when they were the ones who force me to speak up. They call me a monster, devil for making the marching team of 50 to only appear with 12. They called me a benefit eater, not paying the marching fee and skipping practice.

Then college. I've been betrayed twice In two years.

Forget race discrimination.

If you are friends with different race where they do not understand your mother tongue, shouldn't you speak in a language where you all understand?

I'm Chinese, other than speaking with someone privately I speak English with others regardless you're Indian, Malay, Japanese, Korean and even Chinese. Cause to me that's basic respect.

So how do you feel if I speak loudly, laughing loudly in your own mother tongue when you invite me for lunch?

Horrible.

Moving to teachers day. Two faced bitch.

Personally disregard your own teacher, saying there's no need to pay respect cause he didn't teach you anything but later? You told me to leave first saying you need to get something. So what did you get? A fucking teacher's day card and gave it in front of me while giving me a sly smug glance.

Then later, I thought you were different. But in fact, you are the same like all the others. Lied to me, encourage me to skip classes, encoyrage me to tick your attendance because you need to date. And then in the end? Backstab me. Saying it was me who abandoned you.

Honestly, with all these shit do I still need a bigger circle of friends? Probably I do. But can I? Impossible. It's like that song - last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away.

Indeed, you can say its for my own good to have a wider friendship. But history may repeat Itself, just different people playing the same role. You said that people change. They do, for the better. You call everyone, friend. But how many treat you equally or better? How many of them appear when you are in your lowest moments, how many look at you with a loyal, friendship gaze that is not in reality pure benefits?

[bike42]

Traveling to Africa

The anticipation and logistics leading up to the trip were like nothing I can recall. Partly due to lack of major adventures this past two years, but also made more complex with COVID precautions and necessary documents.

Carrie at Embark (our expedition leader) was helpful with getting us to secure our Tanzania visa in advance, although convincing our IT security firewall as well as our credit card company that these $100 transactions with the Tanzanian government were legitimate was a whole other deal!

Then there were health declaration documents that needed to be completed for Amsterdam and Tanzania, along with the regular declaration stuff (why are you coming here, where and how long are you staying …).

Next was the health documentation - copies of our vaccination records, and securing PCR COVID testing the day before we traveled. One of my biggest sources of angst the past few weeks was “what if after all this time and planning, one of us tested positive?” Jeff and I were tested Wednesday at 8 am, and I checked the “MyChart” no less than 30 times that day. Just before 8 pm, we got our negative results and our travel companions all got theirs about the same time - huge sigh of relief. Our travel doc wrote a letter certifying we had been fully vaccinated and tested negative by PCR, but she warned us that many travelers reported being extorted and having to submit to COVID tests when they arrived at their destinations, so we went trying to stay open minded and ready for anything.

The packing logistics were a bit challenging, but we had all that time together hiking the IAT to discuss, plus Embark provided us with great guidance including lists and videos. Jeff and I “practice packed” our waterproof duffels (we bought 70L NRS roll top bags like we’d used on our river trip last year). We’ll take those on the trek with our sleeping bags and extra clothes, but they’ll need to be under 30 pounds as the porters will be carrying them on their heads. After our practice pack, we loaded them up with extra clothes and toiletries that won’t be part of the trek. We put our backpacks inside of other packs and carried those on the plane. Once we arrive in Tanzania, we’ll be able to leave our safari clothes and extra stuff at the hotel during our hike, and then leave our hiking stuff while we safari - so the extra bag will come in handy!

We left home about noon on Thursday, with Ryan dropping us off at the airport. We met Gary at the check-in desk, and the lady there did a thorough check of our travel documents - health record including vaccination and testing record, Tanzania visa and of course our passports. Our boarding passes were marked with “documents checked,” and surprisingly, we didn’t have to show any other documents the whole trip. Nonetheless, my usual travel binder was twice as full as usual with reservation confirmations, our travel insurance policy, and all of the previously completed declarations and visa documents.

It was an easy trip to Detroit. Jeff and I got a complimentary upgrade to First Class which was nice. I had a gin and tonic and a bag of almonds - nice relaxing start to a long travel expedition! We had about 2 hours in Detroit, so we first went to the Delta Club, where it was no charge to bring Gary along. We filled up on salads and stuffed extra cookies into our bags.

The plane from Detroit to Amsterdam was about half full, so we had the middle Comfort Plus row to ourselves, which made it easy to get up and move about when your seat partner was sleeping or watching a movie. The mediocre airline food wasn’t such a big deal since we’d filled up at the Delta Club in Detroit, and knew we’d have access to the KLM lounge in Amsterdam.

I think we arrived about 8am on Friday. We walked a few gates, looked at the status board and found we were practically right at our departure gate … and there we found Kent & Lynn and Dan & Tam who had arrived earlier from Chicago. We had two hours to kill, so we brushed our teeth, walked a bit, went to the KLM club, Jeff and Gary played some cribbage. Then before we knew it, we were loading onto the KLM jet for our eight hour fight to Kilimanjaro Airport in Arusha, Tanzania. I had a window seat, and most of Europe was cloudy, but it cleared up to see some mountains, sweeping coastlines somewhere over the Mediterranean … and then it was dark again - felt like the shortest day ever.

We arrived in Tanzania shortly after 9 pm, and joined the tired and confused crowd walking down the stairs onto the tarmac. Our first bottleneck came where one guy was holding back a crowd of hundreds, making us produce our boarding passes to get past him (we just came off that airplane, how would we have gotten there without a boarding pass?). Then about an hour wait to get to the “health screening” desk which was set up outside. A women took our temperature and wrote down a control number on a scrap of paper. She told us to go to another desk to pay $10 for our COVID test. I realized that was part of the online form we’d filled out before leaving home. She wasn’t interested in seeing the results we’d brought with us. The only way into Tanzania was to stand in another line, have your brain poked by a guy in a white lab coat (hope those were fresh gloves), and then wait until your name is called with the results. Then another long wait in the border control line. Those of us with prepaid visas had a different line, but it didn’t seem to be faster one way or the other.

Gary got through first, Jeff and I about 10 minutes later - only to discover that Jeff checked bag didn’t make it. To make it even more confusing, his bag had his luggage tickets (and priority handling tag), but the airline barcode sticker had my name on it. So the airline thinks they’ve lost my bag, but when they find it, it’ll look like it belongs to someone else. Jeff found a helpful guy to start the claim, and he found that in Amsterdam, the bag way loaded onto a different bag and went to Nairobi instead. He said, no problem, we’ll get it delivered to you tomorrow (we’ll see).

The other four were further back in the plane, and therefore, they were practically the last group to clear customs. Tam had just learned that our hotel in Moshi was changed, so we were able to go back and modify our claim to hopefully get the bag routed to the right place. We’ve had this work out okay once before (coincidentally, with a transfer in Amsterdam), so fingers crossed that it works out this time too! All of his hiking gear is in that bag!

It was nearly midnight when we got outside and connected with the transport that Embark had arranged. A guide named Hans, and a driver whose name I didn’t capture. Now we were faced with the unsettling feeling that comes on a bus, driving on the left side, with headlights barreling at you in what seems like the wrong side of the road. It was about an hour to Moshi, with a rough road, several small settlements where we’d slow down, speed bumps and rough train tracks. We were glad to get to our new accommodations: Bristol Cottages, and find they were expecting us!

Our cottage was rustic, but clean. Two single beds, each with a bundle of mosquito netting hung over the bed (we didn’t use it, have been taking anti-malaria medication for 5 days now and hope that’s enough). I unpacked and organized my stuff. Jeff, not having much stuff, brushed his teeth and promptly fell into a deep sleep.

Just over 24 hours of travel time, including waiting for planes. The long flights were pretty comfortable and we napped intermittently … but are now feeling completely exhausted and will sleep good tonight!