#and want to lash out abt it bc i feel v lonely + trapped in my head etc except being a dickhead will just turn it into a vicious cycle
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still in suchhhh a funk
#physically restraining myself from being blunt and mean with everyone bc i dont actually want to do that at all im just in a bad place rn#and want to lash out abt it bc i feel v lonely + trapped in my head etc except being a dickhead will just turn it into a vicious cycle#where i alienate ppl even further so im not doing that im trying my best to be nice :) and not express this shit :) at all :)#and it doesnt matter bc no one gives a fuck either way but whatever i care so thats reason enough.#i mean i say that but whenever i talk to ppl im not even rly thinking im just saying words recreationally so maybe i am still being a dick#who fucking knows. who even cares!! ugh. ok workout -> shower -> eat -> sleep and then tmr i need to actually fucking do smth#i still.have a ton of these stupid adhd forms to fill out they need to bw done in the next couple of days but ive been putting them off#bc i do want to know if thats whats been going on my whole life so i can maybe medicate it but also i hate thinking. about it#and i hate!! jobhunting!! even!! more!! i hope the world blows up tomorrow. whatever#.vent#<- SORRY FOR VENTPOSTING I KNOW THIS IS TEMPORARY AND WILL PASS IF YOURE READING THIS ILY ANYWAY BYE#nvm maybe i wont workout i cant be fucking bothered ill just break down. rots for 1 million thousand years instead
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