#and unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how much you hate nausea) it only makes it easier and easier to throw up in the future

[roylustang]

Ya ever just throw up for no discernible reason

[katieelizabeth]

What would you call your body type? Definitely curvy

Are you a morning person? Yes and no. I’m taking sleep meds for nausea so right now waking up is kinda hard. 

Have you ever been to Target? Loveeeeee Target

Do you like iced tea? Iced tea is always my jam

When is the next time you’ll be at work? Hmm it’s kinda up in the air right now. I’m itching to get back tho.

Do you have a savings account? Yes. one for myself, one with my boyfriend

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Only once.

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? Currently grey

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Yes, I wanna say total like 6 times.

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? It absolutely does.

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? My boyfriend thinks I'm a terrible wrapper hahah

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes.

What would you say is your favorite television show? If I had to narrow it down, probably Skins. 

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Yes and no. I don’t care for holiday dinners with my family but I love holiday dinners with my boyfriends family. 

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? I’m not married or engaged but I do wear a small silver band on my ring finger.

What is one thing you desire as of now? To be able to just go and sit down in a restaurant. This virus has everyone living in fear and I'm tired of it and want to live normally and enjoy my pregnancy

What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? Canada or London

Do you blog a lot, if at all? No not really. I used to when Xanga was big.

Is your present hair color, natural? Nope.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? My boyfriend thinks that anytime my opinion is different than his, then I'm trying to argue with him. It’s so fucking frustrating. 

Describe your current outfit? Anaheim Ducks shirt and matching pj pants hahah

What was the last thing you ordered online? Some toothbrushes lol

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Ive had two best friends in my life completely shut me out before. It sucks.

What color are your eyes? Poop brown

Have you ever worn color contacts? I have but I could never wear them because of the astigmatisms in both my eyes. Lasik was the best decision of my life

What’s the best thing about a hug? Right now I miss everything about hugs

Biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life....

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? Just celebrated three years

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yes.

Do you buy your friends gifts? I try to when I can 

What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone to the charger.

How old are you? 29

What color headphones do you own? They’re black.

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? No, just a reminder than I'm fat

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Amazon, Goodwill

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Necklaces

Do you consider yourself fortunate? Very

Do you enjoy watching fights? Nooo.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No way

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I try not to but everyone is guilty of that

Where are your parents as of now? Watching tv in the tv room

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? I literally just bought it so yes haha

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Kind of

When did you last go to a book store? Gosh it’s been a while!

What’s the closest book store where you live? Barnes & Noble.  

How much money do you have on you right now? On hand, $20.

Favorite personal feature? my hair and my lips

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Nope.

Favorite television channel? Bravo, E!, ID, HBO

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? 6 tattoos no piercings

Have you ever been fired from a job? INope

Are you currently losing a best friend? No.

Describe the worst day of your life: I’m good.

Do you play any video games? Not at the moment

Would you say you hate anyone? I feel hatred towards racists, homophobics, ect.

Do you think freckles are cute? Very cute!

Last time you went to the mall? Gosh its been a really long time

Name something that’s your favorite color: anything teal

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yesssss. I want seafood

Do you judge by appearances? Anyone who tells you they don't to some degree is a fucking liar.

Do you follow a certain religion? No thank you

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? Im not really sure

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair.

What are you most self conscious about? Pretty much my whole body

Do you have any family members who live out of town? Yeah.

Do you consider yourself short? Nope, I'm average height for a girl

What room are you in? Mine.

Hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

Are you outside a lot? No not really. The sun doesn’t like my skin haha

Have you ever been dumped via text message? Nope

Do you like dreamcatchers? Not really

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t have one.

Do you hate repetitive people and things? Depends on the situation

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? BOTH

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? Nope, my mom wouldn't let me growing up

What movie scares you the most? The Exorcist. I can watch the movie now no problem but it FUCKED up my childhood.

What was your bedtime as a child? 9. I remember watching Happy Days from 8-9

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: Who doesn't love Christmastime?

Do you work with any close friends? I work with my baby daddy

Do you consider yourself spoiled? I would say in some way I'm probably spoiled

Do you listen to any country music? yes

Favorite high school teacher: I don’t specifically remember any high school teachers I liked. Probably my French teacher. He was super cool!

Do you ever get drunk? Of course. Can’t drink yet tho until after baby

Have you ever had highlights before? Nope

Favorite number: 7,10

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? Not anymore. I used to for a a long time 

 What is your biggest regret in life? Eh I've got a few

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? Depression/anxiety. Ive taken meds for it 

Are you normally an independent person? I like to think myself as independent but my boyfriend sure takes care of me. I dunno what id do without him

Do you have any paintings? a few

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? anything from the early 2000s haha

Do you like to be organized? Do I like it? Yes. Am I organized? NO

Have you ever failed a class before? oh yes

Ever been judged because of your weight? All the time. Not so much as an adult tho

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? The sugary bad ones, ha.

Ever had a wish come true? Nope

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No way

Do you own any coloring books? Yes haha those adult ones

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I can’t think of anything specific. Probably fat

Have you ever bullied someone? I likely have, unfortunately :(

Do you ever watch Lifetime? Only for the reality shows

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? God no

Do you own any brown clothing? Hmmm I don’t think so

What color are your walls painted? White.

Last thing you drank: I’m drinking decaf coffee 

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Noooo.

Do you have an inground pool at your house? Nope

What is the first digit of your phone number?  9

What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? Anywhere in England

Do you tend to sleep a lot? yes and no. I’m taking sleeping meds but it’s hard for me to fall asleep

Silver or gold jewelry? Silver

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? Not usually. My boyfriends family Is out of state tho

Have you ever been in love? Yes.

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? My unborn child

When was the last time you showered? Last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? Sometimes yes

Has anyone made you mad today? Nope

Favorite smell: Vanilla

Are you afraid of insects? I wouldn't say afraid

Do you have any children? I’ve got one cookin in the oven haha

If so, what are their names? I’ll tell you when I know the gender

Would ever consider having children in the future? MORE children? Lets see how traumatized this first one is haha

Have you ever lived on a farm? No.

Ever played any sports? Oh yes, played soccer till I was 18 

Do both of your parents have jobs? They're both retired from jobs they were at for 40+ years

Where is the best place you’ve been on vacation to? Its a tie between South Africa, London and Colorado

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? Not anymore. Being an adult means getting over that haha

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? oh yes!

Do you like to make donations? Yeah.

What is your current ringtone? Just the standard apple ringtone

Meet anyone from your past lately? No.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? Not that I can think of

Ever been obsessed with a show? Ive been obsessed with many shows

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? English Laundry Signature

What’s the last book you read? The book that Ted Bundys girlfriend wrote

Dream career: Zooologist

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? Yes, in Colorado

At what age do you plan to get married? Not sure, we aren't in a rush to marry

Ever been in a car accident? Yes, three

[mlynar-nearl]

A Lack of Color

White is an achromatic color, a color without hue. Light with a spectral composition that stimulates all three types of the color sensitive cone cells of the human eye in nearly equal amounts appears white. White is one of the most common colors in nature, the color of sunlight, and the color of sunlight reflected by snow, milk, chalk, limestone and other common minerals.

Or: Five (heh) times Adams saw something white, and one time he saw a different color.

@vitadams ’ lifeline week day 3! Green series or white series!!

If I haven't made it obvious, I'm here for all the whiteout love. So here's a piece about all the, well, white in whiteout.

[On ao3!]

If you feel discouraged When there's a lack of color here Please don't worry lover It's really bursting at the seams From absorbing everything, the spectrums A to Z

I. White is the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

The sky is white. Pale, bright, unflinching white. He squints against the light and sits up slowly.

The snow is white. It stretches out for miles around him and he has to squint before searching his body and fortunately finding ski goggles pushed up on his head that he can pull down in order to mute the tones of blinding white that are drilling into his eyes.

He doesn’t have a name yet. He can’t remember anything. He hears something beeping in the snow.

Somewhere deep within all that white, white, white.

He digs for a few minutes before finding the source.

Some sort of communicator. He turns it over, examining the buttons.

“Hello? Anybody there?”

He’s numb from lying in the snow, but as he warms up he realizes how sore he is.

“I think I had an accident. Please help.”

Only soft white noise replies. He sighs.

“Can you read me?”

White noise.

White, white, white.

“I repeat, can you read me?”

“..es...ut...ton of...atic.”

His face lights up. Brilliant.

“Let me try something. Give me a few seconds.”

II. White is what he sees in the first shelter.

It’s the papers. They’re scattered, and most are piled in the center of the room. Like the snow outside, they’re piercingly white, white, white.

They’re cut through with dirty bits, but still.

He inspects the pile of papers.

It turns out they do nothing but make him feel like a dunce-  there’s chart after chart after chart that doesn’t really make much sense, but they stir some sort of nagging feeling in the back of his skull.

He can’t make anything of them, though. One by one, he crumples the papers- hopefully they didn’t have any scientific breakthroughs on them- and throws them into the wood-burning oven that’s in the corner.

Once he gets the fire lit, he watches the papers turn from white to brown to charred black.

He entertains himself with it for a while before he has to sleep. He’s tired. He aches in every bone.

When he starts to dream, it’s just about snow.

Snow everywhere.

White, white, white.

III. White is what he sees in the storm.

The snow almost seems like it’s rising up instead of falling, like he’s angered some sort of primal nature god.

Blue is gone. He can’t move. The snow is so deep he can barely walk. He’s staring up at the sky, curled in on himself, and all he sees is a white vortex.

Nature, he thinks, is about to try and kill him. This is it.

This is going to be the last thing he sees before he dies. His hands are numb, his arms are numb, and he thinks his feet are actually starting to feel slightly warm.

He looks up at the blinding white. White. White.

He knows it might just be that he's starting to crack, but maybe this isn't a bad way to go out. A world ending in ice.

For all he knows, this storm of white snow is swallowing the whole earth. It certainly feels like it.

But at the same time, it's beautiful.

His hands are frozen place. His legs are so numb that they're starting to turn warm.

The white snow is piled up to his shins. He could move, but it would take so much energy, and he can't see anything but white.

He's dangerously close to giving up and letting the cold be the thing that kills him.

He feels something hit him in the leg.

“Blue!”

He grabs the dog by the collar and lets the dog pull him away through the thick piles of snow.

Mounds upon mounds of white.

Adams wonders if one day all this white- snow, sky, everything- is going to drive him blind.

IV. White is what he sees when he opens his eyes after they knock him out.

The walls are all reflective white and the floors are concrete and it takes him a moment to remember what happened.

The hydroelectric plant. Four. The gas. Fuck.

Adams staggers to his feet, putting one hand over his face to stem the bloody nose.

His friend. They must be worried sick. Adams searches himself for the communicator as if his life depends on it.

“Are you...there? Damn, my head is pounding...everything is blurry…”

Adams leans up against the wall for relief from his dizziness and slides down as a slightly staticky reply comes.

“Adams! Are you all right?”

He almost snarls, but out of irritation with the situation, not with them.

“No, I’m not OK! Ugh-- what did they do to me? They must have sedated me.” His stomach turns- violently. “That explains the nausea.”

He chokes, eyes widening for a moment. “Oh god-- speaking of- I’m gonna- uh- excuse me a s-”

He can’t finish the sentence because he turns off the mic and vomits immediately all over the pristine white paneling between the wall and floor.

If he gets out of this, he thinks, he’s gonna just hate the color white.

V. White is what he sees when he enters the laboratory.

White tiles, white countertops, white tiles, white and glass machine. The only pops of color are the chemicals against it. There’s white chemical cabinets with symbols Adams barely only recognizes due to their simplicity. Corrosive, flammable, acidic.

(Those, fortunately, are yellow and black.)

He had expected something warmer- maybe, for once in his miserable life to not see the same fucking color- or lack of color- every minute of every hour of every day.

Unfortunately, the laboratory isn’t physically cold, but emotionally so. The place...lacks a soul, Adams thinks.

If he had come here to find a kind god, the room might have reflected such a thing.

But for him there is no kind god. There is just this man.

This man in his brushed chrome motorized wheelchair and his platinum oxygen tanks and white mask, white tubes, white, white, white.

This man wants him to be a part of the lab. Forever. Give in to it. Give in to him.

Maybe, he thinks dryly in order to mute the horror as Sibellius talks, the doctor thought that if Adams saw enough white over the first three days of his life he’d crack and hand over the body.

As fucking if that would ever happen. Dr Sibellius made a mistake when he built Adams stubborn.

The white is blinding. It's invading his senses, now, more than ever before. Clean white, and the antiseptic smell that accompanies such things- he hates it. It sets him on edge.

"What do you say, Adams? Let's advance humanity together!"

He realizes that this man is terrifying. He is at the center of all the white. He's power mad, he would do anything at this point to stay alive.

He's already resorted to torture.

Adams steels his nerves and does the most dangerous thing he’s ever managed.

He says no.

VI. Green is what he sees when he drives for long enough.

Green. Green. Dark green of the first trees he’s ever seen- conifers, he thinks, he can’t tell all evergreens apart. Eventually, he sees the lighter green of moss growing on trees, he sees the brown of bark and dirt, and he starts to see the bright oranges and reds of wildflowers growing on the side of the road.

He’s driven for so long that he can’t help but pull over and look at the woods. Look at the flowers. Pinkish red at the tips of the petals, turning orange as they move inwards. Small blue buds on another. Purple-pink tubes.

Adams thinks this is the most color he has ever seen in his life, this field of wildflowers on the side of the road somewhere in the universe he can’t even pinpoint.

He looks at the first flower he examined- red, red, red.

He gently feels the petals.

“It’s beautiful.”

For once, he lives in a world with an absence of that migraine inducing white, white, white.