#and trying to convince someone to rent to me while I was self employed was hard enough
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So on top of my terrible week, impending meltdown and generally grim head space, my estate agent has just called to say that our landlord is selling the flat we live in and I unironically want to kms
#okay thank you and goodnight#we have a contract until 7th September and she said it could potentially take much longer to sell#we only moved in in April and it all just feels like far too much#so potentially going to be homeless and unemployed in September which is super fun#and trying to convince someone to rent to me while I was self employed was hard enough#and now we have a flat full of stuff#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#but also I would take being hit by a truck right now#tw: suicide mention#rambles
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It's about selling
"It's about selling your brain, not your body," she says. "I see it like a performance, like a show. But this is not a job for everybody - a lot of girls quit after a few weeks or even days, because they have this mindset that they're selling their body. Your mindset is what matters in this job. I have my limits, and I truly do not feel exploited.Streamate sells its models through a variety of repackaged and re-skinned websites, like PornHubLive — using the site's well-known brand as an easy in with porn consumers. In reality, it's the same old site in new clothes. Streamate itself is hard to pin down. Trying to find who actually owns it is dizzying: The domain belongs to Flying Crocodile Incorporated, which has a PO box in Seattle. Job openings point to a nebulous firm called NaiadDev, also based in Seattle (and hosted by FlyingCroc). But the company's custodian of records is one Rena Erotocritou, employed by "Ariel Secretaries Limited", a ghost of a company based out of Cyprus.Sites do virtually nothing to curb or discourage this kind of treatment.So who are these tireless women (or girls), these internet sex pioneers? Where do they live? Where did they come from? How did they wind up these poorly furnished, fluorescent-lit rooms in this oversaturated, low-res corner of the web? We wondered the same thing. So I talked to them.
It is true that when I am up on stage I feel powerful. In my 7-inch heels and latex leotards and frilly skirts, my body feels beautiful in a way that I dont see it in everyday life, and I feel confident and empowered. When the music comes on, I go with it, when I dance it is natural and its fun. The money is ultimately what I am here for, but this isnt just something I do just to pay the rent. This is my art, and whilst I am making myself sexually desirable, nobody can objectify me, as I hold that power. I am in control, because I objectify myself, if you like.The basic premise of the cam girl game is a simple one: You pay a girl for her time, and in exchange, she'll take off her clothes, talk to you, play with herself (and others), or any combination thereof. When your money is up, so's your time — the two of you part ways until you've got the cash and willingness to go at it again. And when that time comes, you'll have thousands upon thousands of girls ready to swivel and smile for you in real time. It's a massive catalogue of preening women of every variety: big, skeletal, black, white, Asian, American, Greek, Czech, etc. To find them, look no further than the Big Three of cam girl delight: Streamate, LiveJasmine and MyFreeCams. These three mega-networks advertise across the mainstream porn tube sites of masturbating ubiquity — PornHub, ClipHunter, etc — but are shells and shadows themselves. So how do you get in?It was after a shift at the club in Kings Cross I was dancing at that I sat on my bedroom floor and googled feminism and stripping. I was naked underneath my pink robe, hair extensions falling out, one eyelash stubbornly stuck on. I had been speaking with a friend that night on the phone during my break who had said something that I couldnt get out of my head. She told me that my job was degrading and asked me how I could call myself a feminist when I turn guys on for money.But there's really nothing exotic about Anna. She's occasionally lazy and often messy, spending most of her days, as far as I can tell, puttering around her Bucharest apartment in pajamas, playing with her cats, drinking enormous plastic bottles of soda, working on coding an iOS game, and taking occasional trips out to pick up fried chicken and buy new underwear. She claims to have almost no "real" friends off of the internet, but is consistently cheery, and enormously talkative. While video chatting, she always asks if I mind before she smokes. Anna complains about having to take time away from Diablo 3 for her cam sessions, where she chats with regulars, masturbates, mouths along to pop songs, and waits, waits, waits for someone to send her money. And when it comes, it comes. Anna's a MyFreeCam loyalist, earning $US6 a minute via "tokens" — a clever way to obscure how much her customers actually spend. It's a lot easier to fork over 900 tokens than thinking about the $US75 you just spent in minutes. This is Anna's sole income, and what took her out of rural Romanian poverty and the whims of other men.
In a corner of the room there is a large computer screen, an expensive camera and behind them, professional photographers' lights. Dozens of pairs of eyes may view Lana in her room online in real time via dedicated adult websites. But she does not make any money until a member asks her to "go private" in a one-to-one webcam session.As with most sex work, webcamming doesn’t have the best reputation. It’s often seen as exploitation or a last-resort hustle to pay off debt, but Reed Amber, 26, explains how webcam models are just your average self-employed freelancers with the same amount of agency and independence as anyone else.Studio 20 is the largest studio webcam franchise in the world. It has nine branches in Romania, including one employing "cam-boys" who service the gay market. Its other branches are in the Colombian city of Cali, Budapest and Los Angeles. "There are advertisements on university campuses," says Ilisei. "Students get direct Facebook messages with offers of work. And the studios are very corporate - exactly like an entry-career job in other fields. The language is all about empowering young women, being independent, learning skills, even getting bonuses if you convince your friends to try it too. CONTINUED BELOW...
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8.11.19
So I’ve never really utilized anything other than a diary to jot down my daily feels, but something tells me I might find some comfort knowing that nobody can sneak into my room and read my journal. Tumblr seems like a good enough void to dump these thoughts into. Maybe it’s my psyche craving a positive outlet.. Id rather this be private, but sometimes connections supposed to help, right? If topics of abuse, death, suicide, or depression trigger you, please do not continue reading. So I guess, let’s start from the top.
I’m 2X years old, & I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m a gamer, & employed, But it’s not like I”m pursuing some great dream. I’m kind of coasting through life, trading experiences for fragments of myself. But I’m honestly rather content, at the moment. I make decent enough money. I can afford to shelter myself, feed myself, & entertain myself. So to some people, yeah it might look like i’ve had it pretty easy. In some ways, I have; in others, not really.
It was just me & my mom growing up. Dad wasn’t around, & i don’t really want to get into that right now. My mom did everything she could for me. And I, of course being a growing hormonal boy, never truly appreciated it until I got into the real world. Thanks mom. She low-key prepared me for almost anything. I graduated high school, no special titles or accolades, but I could hear her screaming well above the entire stadium of parents when they called my name. I hope I can make her that proud again someday. I haven’t seen her in almost 4 years. Life can be a bitch like that once you’re an actual adult.
Since graduating high school, I’ve fathered a child, a little girl, who continues to blow my mind every day, with her brains & beauty. Damn, my ugly mug made one amazing little girl. Everything I do, I do for her. Even when it doesn’t seem like it. The mother & I are still on fantastic terms, but we separated a couple years after the birth. It just didn’t work as a healthy relationship anymore, & our daughter deserved better than that.
After we parted ways, I got myself tangled up with a girl that, in hindsight, I should have never said hello to. Now don’t get me wrong, the first 2 years were truly magical. She was young, beautiful, petite body, alternative with piercings & tattoos. Which was basically me, young, rather handsome, fit body, alternative with piercings and tattoos. A match, it would seem, made in heaven. She made me feel alive again. She reinvigorated me to my soul, showed me new experiences I never could have imagined, or dared to do otherwise. I felt happy. Which for me, is a rather fleeting bird, one that’s typically driven away by the raven. It was just like a fairy-tale. We all know those aren’t real. I should have seen the warning signs. The “red flags” that everyone says I ignored. But red flags look like regular flags when looking through rose-tinted glass. If you’ve stumbled upon this by chance, & are triggered by abuse, or suicide, I suggest you stop reading now.
It started out with little things. Roast-like insults, but sometimes they hurt a little more than they should. Which, obviously, led my mind to tell me “stop being so sensitive.” I’d let it slide. As we approached the 2 year mark, it started getting nastier. Her patience with me was very thin. The smallest error, like I forgot to pick up soda on the way home from my 10 hour shift once, led to me being belittled with insults to my intelligence & even attacks on my dedication to her. It only got worse as time went on. I silently cried myself to sleep most nights. My self-esteem was in an entirely different dimension by this point. I’ve become completely submissive to her. I looked at myself in the mirror one night, after doing things that I regret doing, and being disgusted in myself for letting it get so bad. For never stepping back up & standing my ground. I got us through homelessness. I had helped her get help because she had a severe mental illness that I will not put here. Her every wish, within my power, was my command. Why should I tolerate being treated like something stuck to the bottom of her shoe when kindness didn’t suit her? So I did. That was the first time she hit me. Just once, open palmed to my left temple.
It didn’t stop. It got worse. I will not go into details, because almost 3 years later, I still panic when I try to think about those months. Most of my friends & family do not know how bad it got. And those that do, do not even know who she even was. It collapsed faster when I started to dissociate after multiple (thankfully) failed suicide attempts. I started cheating, trying to get her to leave me, since she wouldn’t allow me to leave her without threatening to kill herself. “You’re my soulmate, I won’t live without you.” She kept me in that state of submissive fear for another year, using the same lines. Using the same deflection tactics to make me question myself. All while calling me her “soul mate”. I hate that fucking word now.
But I did finally get the courage to leave. In the middle of the night, a train ride back to my hometown. She tried to work back into my life a few times over the next 2 years. I eventually stopped talking to her, because she would always try to convince me to come back to her, that it can be different, that she’s willing to start over. So I stopped talking to her last year. And now, I can’t anymore, because last month, she killed herself. I honestly never stopped loving her. I can feel the hole where her energy used to be, the bits she contributed to my soul, snuffed out.. I blame myself for her suicide. And I hate that I fell in love with such a beautiful, toxic soul.
We can skip over the few fling relationships I held while in my hometown, except for one girl, who I will forever thank for showing me what a true loving, healthy relationship, based on trust and open communication can actually be like. We got into it knowing we were on a time limit, because I was already in the process of saving up to move again, this time, 3,000 miles away. But we had good chemistry, and I think the relationship was the perfect amount of time for both of us. She’s a LoZ girl. Major fan. As in, owns every game, tons of merch, follows tons of streamers on Twitch who play Legend of Zelda, especially if it’s Ocarina of Time. Coastal gamer girl is probably the best description of her. She’s still one of my best friends, & I talk to her on occasion. She’s super happy, and living a rather adventurous life. I’m super happy for her.
Our fateful day came, and I had to move away. She comforted me during the entire packing process. Which literally filled 2 boxes I shipped to my new address, my military backpack, & a laptop case. It still resulted in 8 hours of back to back anxiety attacks. I only knew TWO people in the town where I was moving to. One of them, I had never physically met before in our entire 14 year friendship. So, rightfully, I was terrified to leave. I’d reconnected with old friends in my hometown. I’d met an amazing girl in my hometown. I’d landed a really fantastic job in the medical field in my hometown. What was I thinking?! Leave all of THIS?!
But I knew why. She knew why. Everyone in my life knew why. The answer was simple. Yeah, I had a good job, a good girl, & a relatively good life. But I wasn’t truly happy. In my soul. Just as I was in the states I’ve lived before. And that was okay. We had the perfect amount of happiness.
So here I am, in an undisclosed new location, three-thousand miles away from my hometown. And honestly, I’m happier here than I’ve ever been anywhere else. Do I see myself dying here? No, not really. But I could kick it here for a decade or so, if the fates allow my life that long? Sure. The best friend I’d never met before, is just as amazing in person. We play video games together now & then, and go out to the downtown bar scene sometimes for karaoke. There’s 3 roommates total. I enjoy being their roommate. Also, there’s 4 cats. who I absolutely love, and will contemplate posting their pictures here too, for memories sake.
I’ve made some really amazing friends, especially one girl in particular. She’s been very good to me, in many ways. Dinners, events, concerts, party weekend for my last birthday to pass. All while both of us just have a blast around each other. She’s helped me alot these last few months, everything from food to rent, while I struggled to find work, & get on my own two feet. I struggled for 5 months before I landed myself where I am now. So to celebrate, she & I went and got tattoos today.
I got a tattoo of the chemical structure of serotonin on my wrist. To remind myself to be happy, because I’ve already spent so much time being sad. And that I’m going to keep making myself happier, by staying true to myself, learning & growing from the events I’ve been through in my life, both good and bad. Creative, & destructive. Because it’s all molded me into who I am now.
So really without getting into childhood stories, high school shenanigans, & college hijinx, that’s the story of Z. A recent handle I’ve taken to lately, in case someone does decide to read this. I’d like to add to this little... off-site journal once a week, maybe more often.
That’s all I’ve got for today. I’m sufficiently stoned now, & would like to return to playing Apex Legends.
Signing off,
Z
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[Coco] Mind the Gap, Pt. 4
Title: Mind the Gap Summary: Modern Day AU. Tired of Ernesto’s snide remarks, Imelda decides to put him in his place and her husband is more than happy to help. It was supposed to be a one-night deal. Things quickly get out of hand. [OT3, mostly porn and humor. Plenty of instances of Ernesto being Dramatic, Imelda getting Sick Of His Shit, and Héctor trying to be the peacekeeper. Don’t expect anything serious.] Pairings: Ernesto/Héctor/Imelda Rating: Explicit.
To see the version with art by Dara, check it out on Ao3.
Tag for all parts up so far.
A/N: Even more art in this chapter 'cause Dara is a gift.
***
“Oh, there you are. Did you absolutely have to sing in the shower?”
“I did not--”
“I could swear I heard a grito. Or were you just shrieking?”
“Well, if a certain someone hadn’t finished all the hot water…” Ernesto grumbles, causing Imelda - who personally turned off hot water the moment she and Héctor were out of the shower - to smirk.
“Serves you right for getting up last. And to think Héctor and I shower together to save water,” she says, causing Héctor to snicker over his breakfast.
“We’re very environmentally conscious,” he mutters through a mouthful, causing Ernesto to roll his eyes. “But the shower is pretty big. Maybe next time we can all save water and--”
“Absolutely not,” Imelda and Ernesto snap exactly at the same time, causing Héctor to recoil and lift his hands in surrender. Not that it stops either of them from speaking again.
“As much as I’d love to see her melt when water touches her--”
“It’s a miracle he even fits in it on his own, with that ego in the way,” Imelda cuts him off, and he glares at her. She supposes he means to be intimidating; he only comes across as the overgrown pouting child he is. She smirks, and pushes a plate towards him, a couple of tacos mañaneros in it. “Eat. You look like you need the energy to keep up.”
Several things happen in quick succession: Ernesto opens his mouth to retort only for his stomach to grumble loudly before he can utter a single word, Imelda’s smirk widens, and Héctor tries to disguise his laugh with a very unconvincing coughing fit. Ernesto scowls at both of them, but eventually he sits down and starts eating. Within minutes he’s talking about music through mouthfuls, about a producer they absolutely need to meet - he knows people who know him, he can get them in touch - and entirely ignoring Imelda… who, on the other hand, is ignoring him as well and checking her emails for new orders on her phone.
Héctor dutifully nods along with what Ernesto says, and promises he’ll be available whenever this Armando Abascal can meet them, but truth be told he’s only half-listening. What he’s really wondering, as his gaze moves back and forth between his wife and his best friend, is how much time should he let pass before he suggests another night together.
He’s not an idiot; he can tell that as much as they butt heads over everything, the central focus of it all - the thing that keeps Ernesto coming and Imelda letting it happen, the rope they’re both clutching while trying to win an unspoken tug war, the one person who binds them - is him.
They keep trying to outdo each other and, really, that works to Héctor’s advantage given everything that he gets out of it… but now he’s starting to wonder if that is actually the entire story. Maybe it is most of it, yes, but Héctor’s mind keeps going back to how relatively easy Imelda was to convince to invite Ernesto over again, and how quickly Ernesto had been to bend down on their bed again despite all his complaints.
As much as she rolls her eyes and as much as he protests, Héctor can tell they are enjoying the fuck out of this, pun intended. Or at least, they’re enjoying it far more than either is willing to admit. Héctor wonders, for the first time, what it may take to get them to say as much.
A lot, very likely: they are both stubborn and prideful, as much as they like to deny having anything in common. Making them admit something as simple as the fact they’re enjoying the challenge, or at the very least the sex, isn’t gonna be easy. But then again, if you want your life to be easy, you do not pick Ernesto as your best friend, and you do not marry Imelda. Héctor has done both, and regrets neither.
It’s time to up the game.
***
I bought a pair of boots last month, and it was my best purchase in years! They were custom-made to my measurements, fit perfectly form the first day and didn’t give me a single blister as I trekked up a mountain. I cannot recommend these enough!
The review is followed by a smiley as well as a full five-star rating, and Imelda finds herself smiling back at it. Almost all the reviews are like that - the only exception are a few whining about late delivery caused by postage issues she had no control over, as she always mentions in the reply - but she’s always happy to see a new one, giving her credit for a job well done.
When the first glowing reviews began coming in, as well as the beginning of a steady flow of income, it took all of her willpower not to take screenshots and send everything to her parents, writing nothing but I told you so. She held back because she’s not that childish but oh, was she tempted. Told you so has always been one of her parents’ favorite sentences to utter.
Don’t take chances. Don’t attempt anything new. Follow our advice. Stay in your lane. Oh, you tried and failed? Well, we told you so.
Sometimes it was warranted - Óscar and Felipe’s attempt to build a homemade pressure cooker when they were eight was one such occasion - but a lot of the time it was unnecessarily smug and grated her nerves like nothing else. Getting to make things work despite their misgiving was always very, very satisfying.
Moving to Mexico City for a course in business management? They had supported her in the end, but not without a lot of stubborn silences, thinly veiled jabs and grumbling. But she stood her ground, and excelled; Imelda knows they’re proud… but she also knows that they are somehow disappointed for having been proven wrong, for never getting to tell her that they told her it was a bad idea.
Starting her own business, and online? It would never work, they told her, to many people already did the same. And making shoes the old way, to order? Who even does that anymore? Who would pay money for that when you can buy much cheaper shoes elsewhere?
But it did work; she's found herself a niche in the market and her business has grown to the point she now estimates that, in about a year’s time, she might very well think of looking into renting proper premises and employing a few people. Again, the told you so mantra failed to leave their lips, and they were proud of her. They usually are, despite everything.
And then she decided to marry Héctor which, of course caused friction. That too, according to them, was a bad idea. They didn’t dislike Héctor, whom they had seen from time to time when they played together as children; they knew that, while a troublemaker - that was usually Ernesto’s fault, but he had a way to evade all the blame somehow - he was a good kid who had grown into a good man.
When Héctor’s parents had died when he wasn’t yet seventeen - a gas leak, a spark, and they were both gone while their son was a couple of towns over for a gig - hers went to the funeral with her, after donating some money to help pay for it. Imelda has hazy memories of that bleak day, of Héctor standing alone before the coffins until Ernesto reached him and passed an arm around his shoulders. She remembers walking up to them, and squeezing Héctor’s hand, but she cannot recall what she told him.
The following year, both Ernesto and Héctor packed up quite suddenly and left for Mexico city to turn their passion for music into a proper career. Her parents had talked about it over the dinner table, expressed their sympathy for Héctor and wished him luck, and that was the last they'd said of him. Until their daughter moved to Mexico City, met him again, and began dating him. Until she had announced they were going to marry.
A musician, and with no steady job and no family behind him? They hadn’t liked that at all, questioning how he’d even be able to provide for her and pretending to have forgotten how her business was beginning to take off well enough to support them both in bad times if need be.
Óscar and Felipe supported her quite vocally - they always liked Héctor, who was a very willing guinea pig for some of their experimenting back when they were just children - and in the end, while grudgingly, her parents stopped arguing. They came to the wedding, were perfectly polite, but Imelda knew that they were waiting for the day that told you so would be warranted.
So far, it never was: Héctor always finds work. As much as Imelda doesn’t like to admit it, she knows that Ernesto - his used-car-salesman charm, his shameless self-advertising and the fooling around he calls networking - is the main reason why. Héctor has so much talent and plenty of charm of his own, but lacks the ambition and drive Ernesto has; that pendejo is the one who gets them most of the paid work and, for that, Imelda can tolerate him. Grudgingly.
Oh yes, Third Wheel Ernesto. What would your parents think of that development?
The thought makes her laugh aloud - oh God, they would flip if they knew - and she doesn’t realize how loud she was until Héctor’s head peeks into the workshop. “Found another singing cat video, mi amor?”
Imelda rolls her eyes - it was one time she laughed to tears, just one time, can he stop bringing it up? - and turns from her laptop to glance at him. “I was thinking about Ernesto.”
Héctor raises his eyebrows. “What a coincidence. So was I.”
“Not that way.”
“I was thinking we could have him over next Friday.”
“No. I need at least another two weeks without seeing or hearing of that--”
“I have an idea,” Héctor cuts her off, and he’s grinning so widely she can’t help but be intrigued. When that expression appears on his face, she knows he’s thinking something really interesting. She leans back, folds her hands, and crosses one leg over the other.
“... You have two minutes to convince me.”
One minute later, Héctor is already sending out a text message.
***
“Do you really have to go already?”
Sitting on the bed with only the sheets around her, Luciana - or Lucia? He doesn’t remember and just refers to her with pet names to avoid trouble - is pouting. Ernesto kisses that pout.
“I have a meeting. I’d love to stay,” he lies, and follows it up with another lie. “I’ll call you.”
Another number to block, of course. She’s getting attached, he suspects, and Ernesto doesn’t like that, no señor. Best for both of them if he ends this here. Most of all, best for him. He’s a free man, no strings but those of his guitar, and he’d rather keep it that way.
Plus, last night wasn’t even fun. It usually is, with Lucia - or Luciana? - but this time it was… underwhelming. Not that he can pinpoint the reason; she did or said nothing out of the ordinary, and there was nothing wrong with the sex itself. It hasn’t exactly left him unsatisfied, but something was lacking and that gnaws at him in a way he cannot explain.
A few more reassurances, just enough time to throw his clothes back on, and Ernesto leaves the apartment, heaving out a long sigh of relief. He glances at a cab passing by, and digs into his pockets to pull out some change. Not nearly enough for a fare. He shrugs and gets walking towards the bus stop, putting the change back in his pocket - and feels his phone vibrating against his hand. A text from Héctor.
Come Friday at nine. You don’t want to miss this one.
***
"Red or white?"
"Black. You look good in black."
"All right, let me see..." Héctor lets out a hum and rummages in the closet, finally pulling back with some black lingerie in his hands. He unfolds it, glancing at the transparent skirt, and holds it up. "Is this mine or yours?"
"Yours. I'd need to walk in stilts to wear that one without tripping over the skirt."
"Or very high heels," Héctor mutters, glancing at Imelda. She's standing in front of her section of the closet, tapping her chin with a finger. She tilts her head towards him, and the braid falls from her shoulder down her back; Héctor has to ignore a sudden urge to undo it, and run his fingers through her hair.
"Is that a suggestion?" she asks, and Héctor grins.
"You look wonderful in heels."
"Aw, what a charmer."
"Plus, it's nice not having to bend over too much to kiss you."
"Aaaand you ruined it."
Héctor gives her his tried and tested Can't Be Mad At Me smile. It always works. "I'll make sure to kiss you plenty to make up for it. You still love me, right?"
Imelda laughs. "Against my better judgment," she says, and reaches in the closet to pull out some lingerie of her own - the red lacy one that never fails to drive Héctor loco. "This, with the red boots?"
"Sounds perfect."
"I get the feeling you'd say that no matter what I put on."
"You could just stay naked. You're perfect when you're naked."
Imelda's smile turns into a smirk. "Ah, but isn't it better when you get to unwrap me?"
That, of course, is a logic Héctor cannot possibly argue against. Trying to think of something else - anything that will keep him from thinking of the moment he'll get to unwrap her, because this isn't the right moment to get hard - Héctor turns away from her and begins putting on the lacy black lingerie... which, truth be told, was a nightmare to find his size. Maybe he is ridiculously tall, which is why he has so little lingerie of his own and mostly borrows from Imelda, when they feel like it.
Sometimes Héctor still has trouble believing what an amazing woman he had somehow managed to marry. Back when they had been dating just for a few weeks and were learning to know each other in ways they definitely hadn’t as kids, there were very few things about himself Héctor was afraid to talk about... his taste for crossdressing being one of them.
He knew plenty of people would find it ridiculous at best, and break up with him as soon as the confession was past his lips; the thought Imelda could do that - ridicule him and turn away - scared him more than words could say... but when he finally brought it up, his face hot as fire, there was no rejection nor mockery. Imelda had seemed intrigued, and - for the first time - she had told him about her taste for strap-ons, adding that she’d wondered if the mention of it would send him running for the hills. It had been his turn to be intrigued and soon enough they both ended up laughing, their faces bright red but relieved beyond belief, clasping each other's hand.
When they had met at her place the following week, Imelda surprised him with lingerie for them both. It was one very, very interesting evening; Héctor was delighted to find out that Imelda was as aroused as him. Crossdressing soon became normal - not something that happened every time, but often enough. It was exciting, and fun, and if made for some really nice pictures that they took great care to keep in a very, very safe place.
Not long afterwards, they’d tried the strap on together for the first time and it had been more enjoyable than Héctor had dreamed it could be - so much so that he’d lasted… forty seconds, maybe. Likely something closer to thirty.
But practice makes perfect, and they had a lot of practice since.
“When is he going to show up?” Imelda speaks interrupting the reminiscence. She sounds suddenly annoyed, and Ernesto isn’t even there yet. It’s kind of a new record, but Héctor hopes they might begin to get along better, in time. It’s a project he’s actively working on.
Héctor glances at the clock on the wall, slipping on the lingerie and lacing it up. “I told him to come in about half a-” he starts, only to trail off when the doorbell rings. “... Well, there he is.”
“And there he stays.”
“Imelda.”
“He’s got to learn to take you seriously when you give him a set time,” she points out, frowning. Héctor wonders if she even realizes how beautiful she is like this, scantily dressed in red silk and laces as she puts on her boots, the braid falling over her shoulder. “He can’t come and go as he plea--”
Clack.
Imelda freezes. So does Héctor. She turns. He smiles innocently. “I, uh--”
“You gave him the spare key?”
“I figured it would be a good idea, in case one of us got locked out. I mean, he lives downstairs, and we have his spare key.”
Imelda scoffs, lacing up her boots. “We’ll talk about this later,” he says, but Héctor knows she’s conceding the point. “And you go make it clear to him that he’s not supposed to use that key when he damn well pleases.”
“All right.”
“Use those exact words, or I will. Loudly.”
“Fine, fine,” he promises. Of course he doesn’t use those exact words, even even if he did, they would be wasted. The moment Héctor shows up in the living room, Ernesto’s jaw very nearly drops - and so does the bottle of wine in his hands, really, but he manages to catch himself just on time before it slips from his fingers and crashes on the floor.
That would definitely put Imelda in a bad mood.
“You’re early, amigo. How much cologne did you put on?” Héctor asks, tilting his head on one side in the most nonchalant way possible - like he’s fully clothed and they’re having a chat over a drink.
“I… a dash,” Ernesto mutters, gaze running across him, and he swallows.
Héctor raises an eyebrow in doubt.
“All right, maybe two. I… I brought… I… are those earrings?”
“Clip-on ones, no worries. No one had to be subjected to the sight of yours truly crying before a needle. Unlike that poor tattoo artist in Oaxaca who saw you jumping five feet in the air the second the needle touched your skin,” he adds. That is a little story that never fails to make Ernesto defensive, and it doesn’t fail now either.
“I just… I changed my mind, all right? I realized that defacing my skin was a stupid idea.”
“Of course. Was that why you were also holding my hand?”
“I was not--” Ernesto starts, but suddenly there is the clicking of high heels on hardwood floor, and his gaze goes past Héctor, to the door. He doesn’t turn to look, but he can tell the exact moment Imelda stands in the doorway from the way Ernesto’s eyes go wide, and his jaw slack. His brain seems to have crashed and, really, Héctor cannot blame him.
“Oh, there you are,” Imelda says, and walks up to Héctor. She leans on him, and taps her lower lip with a finger as she glances at Ernesto. “You’re awfully overdressed.”
That causes him to recoil, as though snapped out of a trance. The look on his face goes from the personification of a blue screen of death to sudden, clear awkwardness.
“I, er…” he starts, and swallows, his gaze moving back and forth between them. His skin is flushed, and he tugs at the collar of his white shirt. “I thought we. Dinner. First,” he manages.
Ernesto.exe is not working. Please restart.
The thought almost makes Héctor laugh, but he manages to hold back, allowing himself just the smallest quirk of his lips as Imelda shrugs and walks up to Ernesto - who almost, almost steps back… but does not. He just stays still, transfixed, as Imelda reaches to toy with the upper button of his shirt.
“Later. First, let’s get this off you,” she says, her voice soft, and tilts up his head to look at him in the eye, a hand reaching to cup his cheek. Normally, Héctor would expect his best friend to smell the trap from a mile away. Now, however, he's not at all surprised when stares at her and, slowly, he smirks. Look at him, Héctor muses, thinking he knows what’s ahead.
Ay, mi amigo, you won’t see this coming.
He somehow manages to stay serious as Imelda pulls her hand away from Ernesto’s face. Ernesto lifts his own free hand as though to catch it, but he stops himself just on time; Imelda doesn’t seem to notice, and takes the bottle of wine from Ernesto’s limp fingers.
“A good choice,” she practically purrs. “I’ll get the glasses. Héctor, would you be so kind to get him ready?”
Héctor smiles and holds out his hand, gesturing for Ernesto to follow, and he does.
Oh, he's definitely getting the wrong idea of where this is going.
***
Ernesto is very much enjoying the way things are going.
It’s not something he’s ever going to admit aloud, of course, but the fact stays that this is finally taking the direction he wanted - with Héctor and Imelda entirely focused on what mattered. Namely, on him. Oh yes, Ernesto can get used to this.
He was slightly disappointed when Héctor slapped his hands away on the way to the bedroom, but very much willing to let himself be undressed down to his underwear. He was already getting hard and he expected Héctor to get rid of his boxers, too, but he had not. Instead he'd pushed him on the bed, straddled him, and kissed him deeply.
On the mouth.
That caused his mind to go blank for a moment, because despite everything that has happened - the kisses Héctor had dropped on his shoulder and neck and face, the fact Ernesto gave him, all humbleness aside, the best blowjob a man could ask for - a kiss on the mouth was something that had just never happened before between them.
Taken aback, he found himself letting Héctor lead; it was slow and thorough, and entirely too brief. All too soon, Héctor pulled back and grinned down at him. Ernesto opened his mouth to protest, or demand more, but he placed two fingers on his lips and gave him a look that made words die in his throat. His eyes roamed across on his body, on the silk and laces on him and, in that moment, he could have let him do anything.
Which includes, apparently, tying his arms to the bedpost with silk scarves.
“Try to break free,” Héctor tells him. He does, and he can’t. To be fair, it's not like he tried with all his might; he's a pretty strong guy, so of course he could break free if he really wanted to... but for now, he'll play along.
"Good knots," he says, and tries to catch Héctor’s mouth again, only to miss when he pulls back to turn to the door.
Ernesto follows his gaze and there’s Imelda, carrying two long-stemmed glasses of red wine in one hand and a third in the other. She looks down at him, tilting her head on one side, and Ernesto has to make a conscious effort not to squirm when her gaze pauses on his groin.
He’s painfully hard and, he knows, his boxer shorts are doing absolutely nothing to hide it. Suddenly very much aware of how helpless he is, he braces himself for the calm expression to turn into a mocking smirk… but it doesn’t. She just hands two of the glasses to Héctor, and smiles.
“He might need help to drink,” she says, and looks back down at him, calmly sipping her wine.
What game is she playing?
The thought makes it briefly to Ernesto’s mind, but he chases it away before it can fully form - because thinking that would mean that deep down he knew something was up, and that would open up the very annoying possibility that he’d willed himself to ignore it to go along with... whatever Imelda is planning.
If she’s planning something, of course. Which she isn’t, or else like hell he’d have handed over control like that. Ernesto wills himself to believe as much, and turns his attention on Héctor - who has put down one glass and is holding the other in one hand, the other on the back of his head to support it.
“Salud,” Héctor says with a grin, and brings the glass to Ernesto’s mouth. Impatient as he is to get things going, he drinks in slow gulps. It’s good wine, if he says so himself - and he does say so; he picked it, after all - so there is no reason to make it go to waste. Once the glass is empty, Héctor pulls it away. A few drops fall on Ernesto’s collarbone, and before he can even protest Héctor lowers is head and suckles at his skin where the drops fell, causing Ernesto - who now he feels pleasantly warm as well as desperately aroused - to shiver.
He tosses back his head, and his gaze finds Imelda, who’s almost finished his own wine and is staring at him, her expression unreadable.
“Good choice,” Héctor chuckles, and takes the glass he left by the table - guzzling it down way too fast, but Ernesto really doesn’t give a damn whether he properly tastes it; there is one thing he wants Héctor to taste now, and it’s not the damn wine.
The empty glass is placed back, and Héctor is grinning more widely. The next moment he’s back on the bed, crawling towards him, and then he’s reaching to brush back Ernesto’s hair, humming. “Looking good,” he mumbles, and something seems to leap in Ernesto’s chest. Héctor is smiling, Imelda is towering over him, and he has a few moments to savor, once again, their full attention… until they turn to glance at each other, smirk, and are suddenly a few steps away from the bed, in each other’s arms. What the…?
“Hey!” Ernesto calls out in protest, or at least he tries to; all that leaves his mouth is a choked-out noise. He tugs at his bounds, but the knots don’t give in at all - Imelda’s fault, surely, who else may have taught him to tie knots? With a snarl, Ernesto glares furiously at them as they lock lips, hands all over each other. “Seriously? Untie me!”
“Oh, we could do that,” Imelda says, turning to glance at him. She’s leaning her head against Héctor’s chest, and traces abstract patterns over it as she speaks again. Her voice is silk-covered steel. “We could untie you, and you can go home. Or you can stay put, and if you behave you get a reward later. Your choice.”
Ernesto opens his mouth to snap at her to go ahead and untie him, but then Héctor moves to kiss her neck, and words die in his throat. For several moments he can only watch them with wide eyes because oh, they are a sight to behold, heat is pooling in his groin and his cock is so hard it hurts.
“I…” is all he manages in the end, and nothing more. Imelda smirks.
“A rare good choice from you,” she says, and Ernesto wants to hit her, wants to scream, wants to fuck her, and he can do none of those things. He scoffs, and turns away. Fine, so they can tie him up, but they can’t make him watch, and so he won’t. He won’t play along, won’t even steal a glance. He shuts his eyes, and keeps them shut.
For two whole minutes.
***
By the time the last bit fabric hits the ground - once they’ve done unwrapping each other like you do with a gift, as Imelda would put it - Héctor is desperately hard, Imelda is soaking wet… and, unsurprisingly, Ernesto is beyond frustrated.
“Are you always this slow? I think I’m about to fall asleep.”
The moan leaving Imelda as Héctor nips at her breasts turns into a scoff halfway through. She turns to glance at Ernesto, an eyebrow raised. “Are you? There seems to be a small part of you that is still very much awake.”
Ernesto glares at her, and bends his knees to try hiding the very obvious bulge in his underwear. Not that he can hide his flushed skin, or the marks on his wrists from pulling so hard at his restraints. He shifts his gaze on Héctor and his expression turns mocking. “You know, if it were me in your place, your wife would already have forgotten how to talk at this point.”
That annoys Imelda enough to pull away from Héctor. “Another sound from you, and I’ll stick a gag in that stupid mouth,” she warns, crossing her arms over her heaving chest.
Ernesto sputters. “You wouldn’t!”
“One more word, and I will,” she hisses. She is beautiful like this, hair undone and eyes flashing, and her tone makes it clear that she means every word. Ernesto can see that, too, and he goes quiet for a moment… then there is a flash of something in his eyes that Héctor cannot quite pinpoint, there one moment and gone the next, a bolt of lighting against Imelda’s steady fire.
Then, Ernesto sneers. “You wouldn’t,” he repeats, and that’s it. Next thing Héctor knows, Imelda is at the dresser and the ball gag is in her hand. Ernesto has just enough time to sputter again before said ball gag is shoved in his mouth, the strap fastened behind his head. That causes him to give a noise like that of an angry ox, and to shake his head furiously, but of course it isn’t enough to dislodge it.
Imelda grasps his hair, and forces his head back so that he’ll look at her face; he stares at her with wide eyes before he catches himself and glares. She responds with a smile. "I like you best with your mouth busy,” she says, and her free hand reaches down to palm him through the boxer shorts. The glare immediately fades, and buckles into her touch one moment before she pulls her hand away, causing him to whine in the back of his throat. The grip on his hair slackens, and she ruffles it.
“Behave, and Héctor will take care of that,” she says, giving his erection one last pat before she stands and, without another word, she’s in Héctor’s arms again.
They fuck against the wall, with Imelda clinging to him, scratching his back and biting bruises on his neck and shoulder. Even in the midst of it all - skin on skin, his wife’s body so welcoming and warm, the scent of her hair in his nostrils and oh God he’s not going to last much longer - Héctor knows, with utmost certainty, that Imelda is looking straight at Ernesto over his shoulder... and that he’s glaring back.
He loves them both but ay, sometimes they can be so predictable.
***
[Back to Part 3]
[On to Part 5]
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Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do
What is cooler than one multibillion-dollar box-office hit? Two multibillion-dollar box-office hits.
British actor Daisy Ridley is about to have both to her name as she returns as Rey in the next instalment of Star Wars. Emma Brockes meets her as she prepares for superstardom. — ELLE UK, December 2017
A few weeks after the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Daisy Ridley, who plays Rey – Jakku scavenger, desert-planet survivor and feminist hero – went on holiday to an island off Croatia with friends from the crew. The actor, who was 23 at the time, had been warned that after the release of the movie – number seven in a franchise that has made more than $42bn (£33bn) – her life would dramatically change, and she was terrified. This was, after all, her first big-screen role.
In restaurants, she scrutinised waiters to see if they were being too nice to her; she wondered if she’d ever be able to use the tube again. On holiday, her friends started calling her Linda, ‘as a jokey alias’, she says, ‘and then they started calling me Paranoid Linda’ when she became convinced a man was following them around and wondered if he was a private detective employed by the studio.
Two years later, 25-year-old Daisy is sitting opposite me at a restaurant in downtown Manhattan, dressed in a shirt and capri pants in clashing blue-and-white prints, her hair still wet from the shower. She’s brimming with the kind of enthusiasm that reads on screen as charisma, and that helps to explain her meteoric rise from stage-school graduate with a few TV credits to her name to one of the most recognisable young stars on the planet. Paranoid Linda still makes an occasional appearance, she says, but mostly she has managed to adjust to life after two Star Wars movies.
Daisy clings to the fact that fame doesn’t need to have a warping effect. It also fits in with her belief that the best way to survive the pressures of high-voltage exposure is to try enjoying it. Everything is ‘amazing’ in her world and everyone is ‘remarkable’, ranging from her mum (‘a great person’) to Barbra Streisand, with whom she recorded a song in 2016 (‘a fantastic woman’), Harrison Ford (‘awesome’) and ‘Colly’ – Olivia Colman to you and me – who she starred with in Kenneth Branagh’s Murder on the Orient Express and who she found ‘incredible’, naturally. There is no hint of sycophancy here; it appears that Daisy is simply joyfully happy.
This cheerfulness has acted as a useful screen to hide behind during the years since she made Star Wars. Now her character, Rey, is back for The Last Jedi, the new Star Wars movie, directed by Rian Johnson. But Daisy found this one to be much more pressure than the first movie. ‘I suddenly felt a much bigger sense of re- sponsibility,’ she says. ‘I didn’t think I was good in the first film, and I was struggling with that.’
This is no humble brag. Daisy’s candour when it comes to her own performance is kind of startling. As a child, her general inability to disguise her feelings occasionally sent her into scatter-brained overdrive, an impulse that her loving London-based family: Mum, who works in internal communications; Dad, who’s a retired photographer; and two sisters – a model and a musician.
Daisy sometimes reads as posh – there is a certain ringing tone to her accent. In fact, she says, her family is more bohemian than posh. The accent, meanwhile, probably comes from boarding school. Aged eight, Daisy went to board at Tring Park School for the Performing Arts in Hertfordshire – not, she says, from any desire to be an actor, but because a friend of hers had gone to boarding school and it sounded like fun. ‘I was such a grumpy child,’ says Daisy, smiling at the implication that she can still, now and then, throw a big wobbler. ‘I used to get super-distracted – once I’d done my work, I would be annoying to everyone else – and my mum thought if I was busy, I’d be less distracting. I always sort of felt like I didn’t fit in.’ This anxiety wasn’t just a result of being a bookish teenager, but a feeling of unreadiness to go out and meet the world as an adult. ‘At 12 or 13, I didn’t know how to do make-up,’ she says, ‘and I still don’t know how to do my hair. And people wore high heels at that age!’
Even now, Daisy retains some small sense of herself as an outsider looking in. How could she not? Her CV at this point is extraordinary: as well as Star Wars, the actress has starred in Ophelia opposite Naomi Watts, and shot Murder on the Orient Express alongside Judi Dench, Penélope Cruz, Sir Derek Jacobi and Olivia Colman. It was on that last set that Daisy finally cracked. ‘I turned to Ken, wiped away a tear, and said, “I can’t believe I’m here, thank you so much.”’ Daisy adds, only half-jokingly: ‘“Did someone make you cast me?”’ (No, he said.) The self-deprecation is real. It’s not just the burden of fame or lame faux humility. There have been times in Daisy’s life, most notably after the first Star Wars movie was released, when she was literally uncomfortable in her skin.
At 15, she was diagnosed with endometriosis, a painful condition of the uterus lining that, along with other symptoms, can result in severe acne that is exacerbated by stress. You know, the kind of stress that comes when you find yourself the star of the biggest-grossing film of all time. ‘I was in my flat going nuts, and then my skin got really bad with the stress of it all, and I hadn’t been well – I had holes in my gut wall and stuff – and we were trying to figure out what to do with that because I’d felt poorly.’ She did what she always does in times of stress and turned to her family, moving first to her sister’s house, a few streets from their parents, then to a flat she rented on her own in the same west London neighbourhood.
Still, says Daisy, it was scary. It is difficult to think of a more in- tense introduction to Hollywood than winning a big role in a new Star Wars movie, nor a bigger professional leap than Daisy’s jump from small parts in the usual roster of UK dramas and long-running soaps – Casualty, Silent Witness, Mr Selfridge – to the first day of filming The Force Awakens in Abu Dhabi. She had only turned up to the audition when a friend mentioned she was going, too, and now here she was, on day one of the shoot, with a production assistant holding an umbrella over her to keep the sun off while she looked around and ‘freaked out’. And then JJ Abrams, the director, yelled ‘action’.
Daisy will never forget that first scene, in which she had to dismount from her Speeder bike and walk a short distance with BB-8 while saying something like, ‘We’re going to get you home.’ Is it true that, after delivering her line, JJ called her acting ‘wooden’? Daisy laughs. ‘It is true! After the first take, he goes, “Just a bit... wooden”, and then we carried on. But JJ is the kind of person who before a scene says, “Don’t fuck it up.” So he said, “Just a bit wooden”, and I was like, “Oh my God.” But it got better.’ She is still laughing at the discrepancy between how bad it sounds (quite bad), and how bad it was. ‘It’s only because that word “wooden” is so loaded. But it was just tense. And I thought, “OK, loosen that shit right up and it’ll get better.”’
In fact, Daisy found JJ Abrams and the rest of the production crew to be incredibly nurturing, to the extent that she was rarely aware of the Star Wars ‘ma- chine’. It was a friendly set, she says, where she mostly hung out with John Boyega, the 23-year-old Brit who plays Finn, and with whom she had the greatest number of scenes, although her best friends were among the crew. JJ Abrams had deliberately hired hair and make-up for Daisy from the team who had worked on the Harry Potter franchise because, she says, ‘aside from the fact that they’re amazing, he knew that they had looked after Emma [Watson], Daniel [Radcliffe] and Rupert [Grint] for however many years. I felt very well taken care of.’
Harrison Ford, meanwhile, reminds her of her dad – ‘They both have an earring and are fucking awesome,’ – and the first time she shot a scene with him, he gave her a hug and said, ‘She’s so adorable’, and she felt right at home after that. (Mean- while, when her real dad visited the set, he went up to Mark Hamill and, in classic dad fashion asked, ‘So, who do you play, then?’)
In fact, the most difficult thing about the whole Star Wars experience has been reconciling the terrible warnings she received about how life would change with the reality of what actually happened – that, and the anxiety of shooting the second film. In the first instance, ‘Everyone asked me, “Are you ready for your life to change?” And that gets into your mind.’ Throughout this period, she tried to hang on to a piece of advice given to her by the late Carrie Fisher – not to shrink away from the success, but to enjoy it – ‘And that was wonderful.’ Beyond that, she threw herself back into work. ‘At work, you’re normal, you’re not the anomaly, unlike in other situations.’
Surely she has occasionally been starstruck herself? ‘Absolutely not,’ she says. ‘I’ve never idolised anyone, really. I never had a crush thing. So when I met Barbra Streisand, for example, I was blown away, not because of her work, but because she’s a fantastic woman.’ It was JJ Abrams who recommended Daisy to Barbra, who was looking for a young star with a good voice to feature in Encore, her album of 2016. Daisy ended up singing with her on the song At The Ballet from A Chorus Line, and finding a new role model for herself. ‘I went to her house and we talked about [psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl] Jung because my dad loves Jung, and we were talking about dreams, and I left and got super emotional, not because she’s famous, but because she’s amazing. Part of her reputation comes from being a woman. If it was a man being “controlling” about his career, people would just say he knows what he wants.’
One of the things Daisy has struggled with in the wake of grow- ing fame is the responsibility of being told Rey is a role model for young girls. She has been asked about feminism and has had to scramble, on occasion, to form an opinion, not because she is bland or apolitical, but because everything she now says has the potential to come back and haunt her. For someone struggling with self-doubt, this can have a paralysing effect, and it is testament to Daisy’s seriousness that she has the sense to acknowledge it.
Of course, whatever kind of attitude you have, being a beautiful young woman in Hollywood means you are exposed to constant scrutiny. Daisy, like Anne Hathaway and Jennifer Lawrence before her, will have to weather the salacious interest that undercuts anything she has to say and, if she seems less confident than her peers, it’s not only part of her charm but also, paradoxically, speaks to some deep-seated security that one assumes comes from Daisy’s family; it can take greater courage to admit to one’s weaknesses than to cover them up with bravado or a fake kind of self-confidence.
She has also learned to sit back and relax a little, although shooting the second Star Wars movie, in which she had fewer scenes with her pal, John Boyega, made her briefly very stressed. ‘It’s not this big adventure that I’m on with John [unlike in the first movie]. I was thinking I did the first one because I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into and I was having loads of fun, and suddenly I’m realising what this actually is, and I can’t fucking do this.’
She says all this with a smile to acknowledge how neurotic this was. ‘I’m highly dramatic – so it’s all “oh my God”. And [director] Rian [Johnson] just said, “We’re going to do this, and these are the scenes, and this is how it’s going to work,” and finally I was like, “Oh yeah, this is working.” The fact is sometimes you’re not good at your job, and sometimes you’re better at your job.’
Having that kind of experience helps, but Daisy still has moments when she has to check herself to make sure it’s all real. There was one night on the set of Murder on the Orient Express when she found herself sitting around playing cards alongside Sir Derek Jacobi, Olivia Colman, Penélope Cruz and her husband Javier Bardem, who had come to support his wife. (Judi Dench had retired early to bed.) The next day, she and Sir Derek sat around doing the crossword. Even Paranoid Linda couldn’t worry the fun out of that one.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi is out on 14 December.
— ELLE UK, December 2017
#i forgot to post this earlier#*#uploads#daisy ridley#elle uk#interview#rey#star wars#tlj#the last jedi#the force awakens#john boyega#jj abrams#harrison ford#rian johnson#kenneth branagh#murder on the orient express#carrie fisher#q
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World’s End
Dedicated to @lenfaz, inspired by the show Greek. (Andrew J West was in it! You should watch!)
Summary: “If it’s the end of the word, then I want to be with you.” (Captain Swan College AU)
Read on AO3. World’s End Graduation.
Emma was graduating college tomorrow. The black gown hung in her closet, shoved into the very back next to dresses that were no longer in style and shirts she no longer wore. If she couldn't see it, Emma reasoned that maybe it wasn't real. But it was. Tomorrow she would down that black cap and gown, cross the stage, and accept her diploma.
She'd stop being Emma Swan, College Student, and officially become Emma Swan, College Graduate. Cool, right?
Except not. Most people looked forward to college graduation. It represented four years of hard work, tears, and panic attacks – a sign that you were qualified to do something. But all Emma could do was envision it as the end.
After eighteen years of bouncing from group home to home, Storybrooke College and its stability had become a refuge for Emma. She had finally found somewhere she could call home, and a group of people she could call family – and it was all going away.
Sure, all her friends had promised to keep in touch. That's what everyone did. And they would, at first, they'd all try very hard. But eventually, conversations will trickle away as they all live their separate lives. It wouldn't be like undergrad where Ruby could barge into Emma and Mary Margaret's apartment with a bottle of tequila. Tuesday movie nights with the gang would be a thing of the past.
All because they wouldn't be together.
Ruby was moving to Kentucky after landing a Stage Management gig with a youth theatre. Elsa had joined Americorps and was being shipped off to Alaska. Regina, to no one's surprise, had been accepted to Yale Law. The only people in her group who were staying together were David and Mary Margaret, who were moving to D.C. to work on the Hill and for Teach for America respectively.
As for Emma, she was staying in town to work at the local Sheriff’s department. It was a stable job, and would certainly be interesting, but she could not say she was entirely excited by the prospect. To be honest, unlike many of her friends, Emma had never had a set career goal. She wanted to be employed and self-sufficient, of course, but she'd never been one to have a "Dream Job". Her dream had always been a home – and now she was losing it.
God, she needed a drink.
She knew where she could get one, or many. For weeks, Killian had been boasting about his frat’s “World’s End” party that was happening tonight. His explanation that since the school year was ending, and that he was graduation, there was not more fitting of a theme. Emma had teased him that he had watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies one too many times, and that he was using the party to further fuel his pirate fetish. (He had dressed as Captain Hook three years running for his frat’s Halloween parties.)
But he was right that the theme was fitting, because it certainly felt like Emma’s world was ending.
Like the others, Killian had also leaving post-graduation. His plan involved sailing the East Coast with his brother who taught at the Naval Academy in Annapolis. His brother – his idol, really – had a break over the summer months, and the two thought it would be “bloody brilliant” to take to the seas together. Emma had no idea what Killian planned to do after that, but she knew it didn’t involve here. Here, which was landlocked, a fact that Killian complained about near daily. She had quickly come to realize how much she’d miss those complaints.
She’d miss a lot about Killian, to be honest.
Emma had met Killian four years ago at a frat party she had been dragged to by her roommate’s best friend, Ruby. The party had been raucous and wild, fitting every cliché one would have for a party. She had stumbled into Killian – literally stumbled – which had caused him to spill his drink – some red hooch concoction – down the front of her white blouse. He had offered her his jacket as an apology – as long as she returned it, of course – and thus a friendship was born.
Killian Jones was very unlike any stereotype she’d had of frat boys prior to attending Storybrooke. Frat boys were supposed to be lame, rich assholes who wore pastel shorts. Killian wasn’t rich, he loathed pastels, and he was genuinely a good guy. Sure, he acted like an arrogant prick every now and then, but he was loyal to a fault.
Once during Emma’s sophomore year, she had slipped on patch of ice walking to class. He’d skipped the rest of his classes that day to stay with her at the hospital while she received X-Rays and received the cast for her broken wrist. It had only been later that David had revealed to her that Killian had knowingly missed a quiz that he knew Dr. Gold wouldn’t let him make up. Another time, she’d been having a panic attack in the library before a test, and he’d talked her down. He was just there for her. Always. Except for after tomorrow.
She really, really needed a drink.
It would be easy to walk to Greek Row, to find her way into the KT house, and drink her feelings away. That’s what freshman year Emma would have done, but “about to graduate” Emma was trying to be more responsible. Which meant drinking alone in her apartment and moping.
She was halfway to the kitchen, though, when someone knocked on her front door.
She considered not answering. She wasn’t expecting anyone, nor had she ordered delivery. She wasn’t in the mood for lectures on religions. But then she heard a familiar voice calling, “Swan, let me in! I come bearing the greatest of treasures!”
“Killian?” she asked, pulling open the front door, surprised to find her friend standing on the other side, holding up a six-pack of beers. “Shouldn’t you be celebrating the end of the world?”
He didn’t wait for her to let him in, sweeping in without a proper greeting. “Celebrate the world’s end with anyone but you? Perish the thought.”
Her stomach swooped at that, and Emma tried her best to tamp down the attraction she felt. She’d long since been harboring a not-so-secret (to Mary Margaret and Elsa, at least) crush on him for the past year. She had briefly considered acting on it, once under the mistletoe a Christmas party thrown by Mary Margaret’s sorority, but she’d chickened out. She had reasoned that the year was almost over, there was no use in establishing a relationship if they were inevitably going to part ways. Besides, if their relationship ended poorly their friendship would also end, and Emma couldn’t have that. Killian as “just a friend” was better than no Killian at all.
Killian was already in the kitchen and popping open a bottle of beer before Emma knew it. He offered her one, but she eyed him warily before accepting. “Won’t the rest of the guys be missing you? You’re sort of the President.”
Bailing on his own parties – and there were many – was uncharacteristic for Killian. He very much liked to be present, not simply because of the “fun” factor, but also to keep a watchful eye over his “brothers” and the party attendees. He explained his thought process using boat metaphors, something about a captain tending to a crew, and Emma knew he took it seriously. For example, though he had been quite the drinker in the early half of their college careers – Emma could never forget his near-perfect Exorcist impression in her bathroom after one too many cups of hooch freshman year – since becoming President of his frat, he more often than not opted for sobriety at his parties to watch over everyone. So his appearance here was quite the departure.
“And as President, I can come and go as I please,” he told her, opening his own beer and taking a drink. He paused, studying her expression carefully. “If you don’t want me here, Swan, I can leave. I just wanted to see you.”
“No, no, stay, I’m fine with you being here,” she assured him. It was the truth, she wanted him to be here, wanted a few more moments together than they had left. “It’s just unexpected, that’s all.”
“You should know by now I’m a man of many surprises, love.” He winked at her comically before moving to collapse onto the sofa. “Mary Margaret is at Dave’s, I presume?”
Emma hummed in affirmation. “If she didn’t pay half the rent, I’d almost be convinced I didn’t actually have a roommate.”
She joined him on the sofa, keeping a comfortable and safe distance away from him. She remembered moving into this apartment two summers ago, and how David and Killian had more or less had a macho man contest to see who could carry the most boxes up the three flights of stairs. Emma had been dating Walsh at the time – what a disaster that had been – but he’d hardly helped much outside of shouting the occasional “PIVOT” and making comments about the quality (or rather, lack thereof) of her second hand furniture.
That sat in silence together, slowly drinking their beers. It was Killian who spoke first, his fingers tapping nervously against his drink as he said, "Tomorrow's a big day."
"To put it lightly."
Emma didn't really want to talk about graduation. She would much rather drown in her drink than face the reality that was tomorrow, but Killian had other plans.
"It's been a good four years, hasn't it?" he asked, continuing the tapping on his drink. He was always fidgety, no matter how he was feeling, poking and prodding things. He was talented with his fingers too, judging by the many songs he could play on his guitar, many of which were not "Wonderwall", thank you very much. "Friends, classes, and what have you. It's all been great."
"Yeah."
"I'm going to miss it," he admitted. Emma wanted to reply, "me too", but she worried that if she did, she would cry. Thankfully, Killian never knew when or how to stop talking, so he continued on. "You know, I never did want to go to college. Liam more or less made me, and I came here because I owed him that much. But, like always, he knew what was best."
"That's what big brothers are for, right?" Emma asked. She's never had a sibling, but she's always imagined they'd give sage advice or be supportive. Judging from the way Killian idolized Liam, she doubted she was far from the mark.
"Aye." Killian shifted so that he was facing toward Emma, his beer now forgotten on the coffee table. "I made good friends, learned a few things...met you."
Emma laughed. "I think I fall into the good friends category, no need to single me out there. David might get jealous if he finds out."
Killian shook his head. "Swan, I've always operated under the belief that a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets."
"How poetic," she replied, not sure where he was taking this conversation.
"Aye, but that's not the point." Killian rolled his eyes. He was gearing up for something serious, which Emma really didn't want. She wanted to forget all of the awful and terrible things, and this was starting to feel like some grand goodbye. "Emma, I meant what I said earlier."
She racked her brain trying to determine if he had said anything about the beer or the frat or the party.
“If it’s the end of the word, then I want to be with you.”
And then Killian did the unexpected – he kissed her. Kissing Killian was like she imagined, soft and warm and feeling a whole lot like home. But then remember that she was losing her home, losing him to an indeterminable future.
She pulled away, suddenly angry with him for kissing her. "You can't do that," she exclaimed moving away from him. "You can't just come in here and kiss me."
Killian looked at her stricken. "I apologize. I thought – I'd hoped, rather – I thought you'd felt same."
"Felt the same about what?" Emma asked, her voice taking a hysterical note that she hated. It wasn't fair. It wasn’t fair for him to kiss her, and then leave.
"Us, Emma, us," he half-shouted, half-pleaded. "Everyone is talking about graduation, the future, and where we'd be ten years from now. And it's all made me realize that if I looked back at my life in a decade, my biggest regret would be letting you go without telling you how I felt." He huffed. "And now I've done so, and since you clearly don't feel the same, I'll leave."
It would be easy to let him go, let him leave the apartment and her life. He would sail away with Liam, and they would drift apart and not talk. She pictured bumping into him years down the line at a wedding of mutual friends. Would she regret letting him go? Could she live with the what-might-have-beens? If the world was ending, who would she want by her side?
“Wait.”
Killian was already at the door, his hand on knob, when she called out to him. He turned to her slowly, brow raised. He looked unlike any time she had seen him before – apprehensive and afraid.
“Swan?” he asked, his voice catching.
“I..Killian, I…” Emma stumbled over her words. She’d never been good with meaningful declarations. “Me too.”
“What?”
She took a deep breath and balled her fingers into fists. Her nails dug into her palms. She could do this. “If the world was ending, I’d want to be with you. So me too.”
Before she knew it, Killian was crossing the room and pulling her into his arms for another kiss. This time she did not pull away, and instead allowed herself to drown in the moment. He pulled away, much too soon for her liking, his breath coming out in puffs against her cheeks.
“Are you sure?” he asked. He studied her face intently.
She nodded. “Yeah, there’s no other place she’d rather be.
She wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring, if crossing the stage and accepting her diploma would bring it all crashing down. What she did know, however, that Killian was here, that he wanted her, and that he was just as afraid of losing her. And if both their worlds were ending, they were going to face it together.
Ten Years Later…
“It’s bloody fucking cold.”
“It’s winter, Killian. You would do better if you actually wore winter clothing.”
“Perish the thought.”
Emma laughed as Killian rubbed his bare hands together, his breath coming out in puffs. Despite the snow crunching under their feet, he still refused to wear glove or scarf, or even button his shirt all of the way. She had managed to coax him into a beanie, his hair curling around the edges making him appear younger. She grabbed his hands between her own gloved hands and kissed his chilled fingertips.
“You have to remember how cold Maine gets this time of year. You spent four years living here.”
“And those four years were tinged in rose-colored memories.”
“You referenced David throwing snow balls at mine and Mary Margaret’s window in your best man speech,” she reminded him, pulling him along the sidewalk. “C’mon, babe, the sooner we get going, the sooner you can be warm.”
“What I want to know is who has an inauguration ceremony in the winter,” Killian whined, trudging behind her.
“Practically everyone in the United States.”
“Yes, well, Regina should change that now that she’s mayor.”
Regina was the reason they had returned to Storybrooke at this time of year. Regina had shocked everyone – most especially her mother – when she had walked away from her promising career as a corporate lawyer in New York to move to Storybrooke after her fiancé was offered a tenure track position at her old alma mater. Though she had given up one prestigious career, she had didn’t stay idle long. After living in the small town once again for barely a year, she decided to stage a run for mayor – which she won handily.
Emma hadn’t been surprised when she heard the news. What she had been shocked about was the timing. Regina’s wedding to Robin was the weekend after her inauguration as mayor. But then again, for as long as Emma had known Regina, her friend had never shied away from an easy path.
Because of the timing, Emma and Killian were spending the week in their old collegiate stomping grounds to attend both ceremonies. They actually hadn’t intended to spend the whole week in Storybrooke, but David had concocted the idea to get the whole group together and have a homecoming of sorts.
“Think of it as our ten-year reunion,” he’d said over the phone when he had pitched the idea to Killian.
And so, a reunion they intended to have.
Not that they needed it. Their group had stayed mostly intact over the past decade. (God, that made Emma feel old.)
Despite no longer living in the same small college town, they still managed to come together. When Emma visited Killian and his brother down in Annapolis in the first year after graduation, David and Mary Margaret had driven up and they all spent a day sailing in the Chesapeake. Both Emma and Killian had served in the bridal party at their wedding, which had been the first time their large group of friends had all been in the same place since graduation two years earlier.
It was at David and Mary Margaret’s where Killian had wistfully confessed that he wished that Emma wouldn’t be going back Storybrooke after their visit, prompting her to reveal that she had applied to an opening at the Anne Arundel County Police Department. It was also at the wedding that Elsa met Liam.
From there, it was a whirlwind of memories: David and Mary Margaret helping her and Killian carry boxes from the Uhaul into their apartment that overlooked the water. Elsa taking a job in Washington for an Environmental lobbying firm. Killian proposing in their living room the same afternoon her purchased her ring. Mary Margaret going into labor during the bridal shower she was hosting for Emma. David holding his firstborn son.
Weddings. Engagements. Babies. Career changes. She and her friends had experienced it all.
And they’d done it all together. Mostly.
When Emma had followed Killian to Annapolis, she’d gained a brother in Liam even before Killian had slid a diamond ring on her finger. With Annapolis being a short drive from Washington, she was able to stay connected with David and Mary Margaret. Elsa eventually followed, and much to Emma’s happiness, became her sister. Eventually Ruby moved to New York, as did Regina at a later point, which was only a short bus or train ride away.
And now they were all back together in Storybrooke where it all began.
And then suddenly, Emma remembered something.
“It’s been ten years,” she said, stopping their trek abruptly. She turned to Killian. “We graduated more than ten years ago.”
“You sure know how to make a man feel old, love,” Killian teased. Last week, he had found his first gray hair and had been touchy about it ever since.
“It’s been ten years, and we’re together,” she elaborated.
“Aye, and we’ve been married for five of them,” Killian reminded her. He thumbed over where her engagement ring and wedding band sat on her finger.
“You said ten years ago that if you looked back to then, your biggest regret would be not telling me that you wanted to be with me,” Emma explained. She watched as recognition slowly dawned upon his face, his lips curling into a smile.
“It would have been.”
“And now? That the world didn’t end?”
“And now my biggest regret is that I didn’t tell you sooner,” he replied.
Emma leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. They felt cold in the Maine weather, but just like their first time so long ago, she felt like coming home.
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Steven Caulker:’ I’ve sat here for years detesting myself … This year was almost the end’
The QPR defender talks powerfully about his strives with mental illness, his addictions to gamble and boozing and why he is thankful still to be alive
Steven Caulker has a anecdote to tell and, as hard as it is to hear, it is best plainly to listen. His stream of consciousness veers from scoring on his England debut less than five years ago and the stimulate at potential being realised to the frightful mental health issues a matter that have almost intention it all in the period since. A actor who, from the outside, sounded sanctified with geniu and opportunity are speaking about frantic nervousnes and self-loathing.
He envisaged killing himself in his darkest minutes with his route one of self-destruction. Tries at escapism overhead him hundreds of thousands of pounds, payments frittered away in casinoes. Then came the drinking aimed at counting the pain. The 25 -year-old sees himself remembering the times spent in custody watching CCTV footage of his misdemeanour, his advocate at his back, and not recognising the vile person on the screen.
Football is still coming to periods with mental illness and Caulker, an international and a last-place dawdle reminder at Queens Park Rangers of financially foolish days as a Premier League club, has been an easy target. He is not was striving to make excuses or acquire sympathy. These are details he detects unpleasant to recount. Ive sat here for years detesting myself and never understood why I couldnt merely is just like everybody else, he says. This time was almost the end. I appeared for large-scale stages “there werent” light-headed at the end of the passageway. And hitherto “hes not” situated a bet since December, or touched booze since early March. The mending process that can rehabilitate him to the top level is well under way, with this interview, one he strove out, potentially another step on the road to recovery.
A little under a year ago Caulker had spoken to the Guardian about a life-changing week spent in Sierra Leone, of humbling yet stimulating charity work with ActionAid that had added him with a feeling of view. He returned to be galvanised under Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink at Loftus Road and, having wasted the previous season on lend at Southampton and Liverpool unfulfilling stints which fuelled his latent anxieties was ready to give his all. Early season executions against Leeds and Cardiff showed confidence had been rebuilt, reinforce for a summer of incessant fitness work.
The trigger that would send him spiralling to rock bottom would be injury. He rent his groin at Barnsley and played in pain for weeks, dreading a sorcery back in reclamation, before succumbing to an associated hip ailment. I owed it to QPR to try, he says, but I was naive contemplation I could still play with the snap. He has not played since last-place October, with the period differentiated by personal ferment and, only of late, resuscitation. Talking publicly, he indicated, may point younger musicians towards attempting assistant if they find themselves stepping the same street, or knowing the same feel of desertion, in a harsh manufacture. The real hope is the employ, as intrepid as it is, may eventually support more cathartic for Caulker himself.
He recognises his football ability as a gift but too a curse. It took him from Sunday League at 15 into the Premier League four years later, to the 2012 Olympics with Great Britain and into Roy Hodgsons England side for a friendly in Sweden afterward that time. His talent has convinced some of the most respected managers he is worth haunting. Yet, while he could still get by with it on the tone, he lived in denial. It was more than six years into his career before he accepted he necessary improve. You ever think you can rein it back in again and the money affords a false sense of security. But at Southampton I realised, mentally, I was extend. I wasnt playing, my job was going nowhere and I had to reach out to someone. The doctor there tried to help me but others were just telling me to go out on the pitching and express myself.
There was no understanding as to what happens in my premier. I know theyd drew me in to do a job and they werent there to be babysitters. Only like at QPR, I needed to justify the money they were paying me but I was in a state and, at some moment, there has to be a duty of upkeep. Football does not deal well with mental illness. Maybe its changing but the support mechanisms are so often not there. Ive spoken to so many players who have been told to go to the Sporting Chance clinic and theyve rejected because they know, if they take time off, theyll lose their neighbourhood in the team. Someone paces in and does well, so youre run. That dissuades beings from get promotion. You feel obliged to get on with things.
I would push chaps to talk to the PFA, to speak to their director, and not be scared about being plummeted if they are feeling like I did. Be brave enough to say you need help before its too late. The nervousnes Id ever needed something to take the edge off. Football was my flee as a kid but that changed when I was chucked into the first team as a adolescent and suddenly football came with push. My practice of dealing with it, even in the early stages of my occupation, was gambling. Im an addict. Im addicted to triumphing, which people say is a positive in football but surely not when it extends to gambling. I was addicted to trying to beat the system, because you reassure yourself there is a organization to it and you can beat it. You can never get your premier around why you arent.
Steven Caulker, here celebrating after tallying on his England debut in 2012, says his football ability is a gift but likewise a affliction. Photograph: Michael Regan/ Getty Images
He has played 123 meters in the Premier League and for eight guilds with the same, horribly familiar cycle of insecurity and self-destruction engaging him to each. There is always a catalyst to the nosedive. The sleepless nights, sat up till 5am replaying every bad decision Ive ever constituted in my life, obsessing what will be next Tottenham communicated me to Bristol City on loan at 18 and they set me inside a flat in the city centre surrounded by nightclubs, two casinos opposite, the kind of fund Id never seen in my life, and no counseling whatsoever. I was pulled once by a member of staff and told Id been discerned in the casino at 3am but their outlook was: What you do in your free time is your business. Just dont gave it change your conducts out on the pitch.
At Swansea a year later it was an injury which returned it all to the surface, and Spurs sent me to Boasting Chance to sort myself out while I was recuperating from my knee but I wasnt ready. I hadnt experienced enough anguish to make me want to stop. I was gambling heavily when I went back to Tottenham, staying up to crazy hours of the darknes in casinoes. I approximate never feeling good enough played a big part in that. I never appeared I was on the same height as any of the first-teamers but a big win in the casino and fund in my back pocket might change that. Being descent rattled me even more because football was what I had relied on to make me feel better. So then the gambling was every single era. The suffering of forgetting all my money, combined with the reproach and regret, snack away at me. So Id suck myself into limbo so I wouldnt have to feel anything. I was numb but I was out of control.
The chairman, Daniel Levy, eventually endeavoured him out on a post-season excursion to the Bahamas. He just said: The practice “youre acting” is stupendous. You either sort yourself out or extend but I can assure you, if you leave, youll be going down , not up. I was young, stupid. I took it as certain challenges, a chance to prove him incorrect. I was so immature. So I went to Cardiff and, for six months, everything was amazing. I was skipper, the manager, Malky Mackay, knew I had some issues but offered to be there for me. I appeared required, so there was no gambling , no heavy orgies but the second he was sacked, all the beasts is coming. Thats all it took. Even before we played the next recreation, Id persuaded myself good-for-nothing would be the same. Thats the various kinds of disastrous fantasizing Ive had to address.
Steven Caulker, here playing for Tottenham against Arsenal in 2010, says he made a big mistake leaving Spurs. Photograph: Tom Jenkins for the Guardian
I pointed up at QPR that summer, 2014, trying to hold it together, but the provoke there came in the second competition “when hes” flailed 4-0 at Tottenham. That find coming off the lurch at White Hart Lane, knowing marriage been humiliated and that Levy was sitting up in the stand thinking: I told you so There was no disavowing it any more. Id made a big mistake leaving Spurs. I should have stayed and sorted myself out. I craved the floor to swallow me up. It just pounded in my pate: repent, regret, repent. From that instant I was run, even if I never wanted to accept it, and there is nothing that escalated. Id go for daytimes without sleeping. I dont known better I endured it. That time was an absolute nightmare.
It was a vicious circle. Wed lose at the weekend and the love would get at me, and Id be ending. I really wanted to help us get results but we werent good enough and Id hanging in there taking responsibility in my head for the whole squads fails. I couldnt sleep, are concerned about what had happened. The only comfort I ascertained was in booze. It would stillness the articulations of disbelief and self-hate, temporarily anyway, but Id be too intoxicated to go into grooming, and the blackouts Id have no recollection of anything. It could be Monday and Id have no recognition of what had happened since Saturday night. Id wake up, roll over and look at my phone, and thered be texts from people saying: Did “youve been” do this last darknes? The administrator want to talk to you. It was stunning because I didnt know what had happened.
There were reasons when he would wake up in a police cadre. He sneers when asked how often “hes having” been arrested, humiliated to acknowledge the above figures, but the drink and riotous offences would flare up from London to Southampton to Merseyside. Sometimes Id be sat there with the police and my lawyer, watching the CCTV footage of what Id done, and I didnt recognise myself. I couldnt imagine the person I was. Its so hard to accept I could be like that. In Liverpool I was waking up in the middle of the darknes throwing up, people were extorting me, golf-club owners and bouncers: Compensate fund or well sell this story on you. And I had no hypothesi what Id even done on those blackouts. I eventually told the fraternity I couldnt function and needed to go back into rehab.
Things might have improved last-place season under Hasselbaink had the hip trauma, diagnosed as a week-long issue that became a complaint which motivated five different prognosis , not make him helpless once again. Id cost the fraternity 8m, was one of the top earners and one of the few left from the Premier League, and parties had no explanation why I wasnt playing. Why I was absent. It purposed up as my toughest time ever. I couldnt improve. My girlfriend lost her father and was mourning while living with someone struggling with addiction. My son, who lives with his mother in Somerset, is now at academy so Id extend months without realizing him. He had always been my safe situate. There was no release.
QPR and my agent tried to push me towards Lokomotiv Moscow in January, saying it would be a fresh start. Constituent of me belief the money they were offering could solve all my questions but why would being on my own out in Russia help? I had no hypothesi how to end the hertz and being in Moscow while still injured just detected a recipe for disaster. The director, Ian Holloway, was actually tell people to bide. Id been in its term of office close to tears, so he said: How anyone could suppose sending you there would be a good project is beyond me. You need to get yourself right. I revalued him for that but, for the guild, I can see why it was appealing to be shoot of me but I was in no fit state to move and eventually plucked the plug on it.
Id had one last play and lost a inferno of a lot of coin in December. A last-place blowout. It was at that point I eventually admitted I could not win; that there was no quick fix , no more daydreaming I could save the world through one good night on the roulette wheel. It was all a fiction that took me away from having to feel anything. I envisaged suicide a lot in that point. A dark era. Everything Id gone through in football, where had it taken me? All the remorse, the shame, the shame, the public shame in the working paper and for what? I could cling to my son, to what Id done in Africa, or the dimensions Id bought their own families, but Id blown everything else. I reckon Ive lost 70% what Ive deserved. When “were losing” that amount of money, the guilt thats so many lives you could have changed. There was no escape , no way out, other than to leave.
Steven Caulker says: In Liverpool I was waking up in the middle of the night throwing up, people were extorting me, society proprietors and bouncers. Photograph: Sarah Lee for the Guardian
But, in the moments of lucidity, I knew I couldnt do that because of my son. I havent gambled since but the drink replenished the void for a while. I was feared and didnt feel like there was anywhere else to make. Rehab didnt labour before so why would it work now? I stupidly took convenience in the alcohol but it culminated up redoubling the depression. It was relentless from every inclination. Until 12 March. Thats the day I lost my “drivers licence”. Thats when I realised my life had become unmanageable.
Caulker was ordered to pay 12,755 in fines and costs at Slough magistrates court at the end of March and was banned from driving for 18 months, having refused to blow into a breathalyser after police were called to a car park near Windsor Castle. I knew I was over the limit, I knew Id get the ban but I didnt want to tell my mothers Id fucked up again. What if I had driven the car out of the car park and killed someone? No, that was it. Ive been up before a judge four or five times. No more second risks. Its a jail sentence next. I was still injured and unable to play, so I signed off sick. I went to see a specialist who diagnosed me with hollow and anxiety. He prescribed me drug and we put together a project where I would take some time away to sort myself out.
He and his lover travelled to Africa and India, helping in orphanages, homeless shelters and schools where the bear was uncovered and obvious. He has attended countless Gamblers Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous sessions, and has reached out to support laborers in the game such as Clarke Carlisle for advice. He has not touched alcohol since his arrest in March. He takes medication, a humor stabiliser is striving to poise my high-flowns and lows, and address that substance inequality which prepares my actions so catastrophic, twice a period. Golf is a new, most constructive vice.
People say Ive done all this because Ive had too much fund thrown at me but I know teenagers without a penny who have the same addictive characters as me. Whether I played football or not I would still be suffering from this illness, only without the public pressure and mortification. Addiction does not care. I am a man of extremes. People dont meet me doing the additional grooming, snacking right, “re going to the” consortium each night to get fit, attending the anonymous meets, doing the kindnes effort. That is still me. That is who I am. But I get fucked by these other beasts and I desperately necessity something in the middle. I feel like Im getting there now, that things have finally changed.
Im doing interesting thing simply to remind me to stay on track. I could be relying on taxis to get me everywhere while Im banned but Im using public transport. Im living in one of the properties I own in Feltham, back where I grew up, to build me recollect how hard I had to work to get out of here aged 15. Its a remember that, if I continue to unravel, I wont improve my statu again. Money plows the cracks. It can be evil. It prolongs the agony.
QPRs actors reported for pre-season last-place Friday but Caulker, who has one year to run on his contract and has been developing all summer with the former conference actor Drewe Broughton at Goals centre in Hayes, had been signed off until July. Life at the fraternity had degenerated into an interminable river of internal disciplinary hearings and, despite Holloway having made clear his desire to retain the centre-halfs business, his future will not be at Loftus Road. What happens next is all a little bit flustered, all a bit unclear, he says. The director has texted me several times offering his support and “says hes” requires me at the guild but my new representative has been informed by the owners Im not welcome back.
For too long Ive hated everything about myself and I needed to learn to enjoy myself again. I miss the game like crazy. I dont experience as if Ive experienced playing football since Cardiff. I dont wishes to form my figure into Google and just see a roll of humiliating tales. I want people to remember I am a footballer who was good enough to represent his country at 20 and still has 10 years left in the game. At 40% of my ability, I was playing at the highest level. Now I feel good mentally and I miss the chance to show people, including my son, what I am truly capable of. Wherever the opportunity starts, Im simply thankful still to be alive.
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
The post Steven Caulker:’ I’ve sat here for years detesting myself … This year was almost the end’ appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.
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I don't know if this is inappropriate, and if it is, then just ignore me. I was wondering, how did you get started with your business? Is it difficult work? Is it better than working for someone else? Pros and cons? How much did you need to start up? I'm thinking of starting a business and I'm looking for someone to tell me the real shit that goes on and not "Oh, it's great" or "It's easy" Or "It's or this or this." Any help would be appreciated! Thanks. :)
Feel free to ask questions any time :)
I’ll try to answer this with facts and reasonableness instead of flapping my arms and screaming “It’s really haaaaaaard! Run before you get yourself into this!” :D
The way I got started is really shitty. Don’t start like me. My family and I decided to open a business with a tattoo artist. It was with the understanding he would help us learn the tattoo industry and that he would manage the tattoo artists while we ran the retail side of things. He ended up screwing us out of $80,000 and running away across the country only three months after we opened. Going into business with another person is extremely risky, and I wouldn’t do it again.
Startup costs are very high. You need to assume you won’t be “in the black” (making more than you’re spending) for the first five years your business is running.
more under the cut
I lucked out on this one because I was in the black within six months – only because I hired tattoo artists who rented rooms from me, so even during slow times I could get anywhere from $2500-$6000 from them a month. Other businesses don’t have that.
In the black doesn’t mean you’ve made back everything you put out initially. It just means on a month-to-month basis you’re bringing in more than you’re putting out.
You need a business license, your store’s name needs to be registered (and can’t be the same as any other business), there are permits, and lots of other things revolving around getting the space you need. All of those things I just mentioned cost money. The registration for the name alone is anywhere between $250 and $450. You’ll need to pay a business real estate agent to broker the deal, and he’ll take a percentage for his commission.
Most building owners will offer six months free rent if you sign a 5-year lease (I’m not sure about what they do for shorter leases), and then they’ll give you tenant improvement money. Tenant improvement money is what you use to make the space your own. Don’t consider it income because you WILL spend it on construction. Every year the rent will go up unless you have it specified as fixed in your lease contract. Most leases will NOT include this clause and your rent WILL increase.
Once in the space, you’ll be paying for utilities (which are more expensive than a home or apartment), rent, taxes, insurance (on the building itself, the items in your store, and for the people in your store), and any improvements you want to make beyond the initial tenant improvement.
My rent and utilities here are about $4500 a month, and that doesn’t include the cost of my products, taxes, insurance, or improvements. That’s JUST my running costs. Taxes vary greatly from one state to another, and insurance rates can be extremely high, especially if you have employees. My guys are considered renters/independent contractors in my store, so I don’t have to cover them beyond accident insurance.
Then you have to fill your store with something. We spent about $60,000 initially on products, and after the tattoo artist left us, we found out that all the product he had us get was shit (he thought he knew a lot, but he didn’t even though he’d been in the business for 20 years), so we ended up selling it for cost or below just to get it out of the store. Oh, and the $80,000 he took from us didn’t include the $60,000 in shitty products.
Right now I have about $100,000 of product in my store. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I still don’t even carry everything I’d like to carry.
Owning your own business means you’re working 24/7. You’re on call and it’s on your mind all the time. You don’t get to clock out and walk away carefree at the end of the day. You don’t get insurance (which is super hard to get when you’re self-employed and it’s out-of-pocket), and if anything goes wrong there’s a good chance you’ll have to pay for it out of your own pocket, no matter how much insurance you have on the building and your products.
You’ll need some type of cash register/inventory system. There are cheaper ways of doing this if you only have a few products, but I’m currently switching from an older version (which cost me $5000 initially) to a new system that is going to cost $540 a month plus startup fees and training that costs $1000. I have over 2000 different products in my store, so a small system isn’t an option for me. Someone who sells 5-50 items can get away with just a plain cash register and a merchant services account.
If you want to take credit cards, the merchant services will need to hook you up with this. The fees are anywhere from 1.9% to 3.9% plus a monthly subscription and also something like $0.10 per transaction. If you don’t go through a reputable company, you’ll be liable for any fake credit cards you run. I’d suggest renting your cash register/inventory system because then they have to keep you up to date with new tech and if something breaks down they have to replace it for you. Otherwise you have to pay out of pocket for everything and you’ll have down time while you wait for it to come in.
If your business doesn’t need a physical store somewhere, you’ll be cutting out a lot of the hassle and cost I’ve listed above. However, you have difficulties because suppliers won’t take you seriously and you run into legal problems selling things out of your home.
If you want to have an online presence too, you’ll need web hosting, registering your domain, and someone to build and maintain the site. I do all my own building and maintaining, and I still spend about $200-$300 a year on hosting and registrations.
If you want to dip your toe in this whole thing without renting yet, I’d suggest selling on Amazon or Esty first. They’ll charge you fees, but they’re not that bad, and if you promote and advertise yourself, you’ll begin to see what working for yourself is like.
I never get a day off. This work is REALLY hard. I have to deal with my guys all the time, and if I decide one day to hire a cashier or someone for the front desk, I’ll have to deal with watching them too.
People are awful and will screw you over any chance they get. A security system with cameras is a must, and you have to keep your ears open, eavesdropping on your employees every chance you get to make sure they’re not stealing or skimming. My security system was $500 for the cameras and DVR, plus the costs of a monthly service.
You might think it’s hard working for somebody else, but once you work for yourself, you realize why employers have to act the way they do. It’s sad, but true. Nobody is going to work as hard as you do for yourself. Everyone will try to take advantage of you. You might think people like you and are honest, but they’ll sell you out so quickly it’ll make your head spin, and it’s better to be a boss known as a tightwad or kinda bitchy than it is to get walked all over. If you don’t keep on top of them, employees won’t even treat your customers well, and you’ll lose a lot of business.
Employees have no idea how much they cost an employer beyond their hourly wages.
You also need to worry about your business banking accounts and credit cards. Buying product for your store from multiple places exposes your card, and in the last three months I’ve had to get a new credit card 4 times due to it being compromised (I wasn’t liable for the fraudulent purchases). I use PayPal or direct deposit as much as I can, yet it still happens very often.
Oh, and you also have to get “in” with distributors. My family and I call everyone we want to buy products from and keep pestering them until they let us sell their products. It took us almost 3 years to convince one of the ink companies to let us sell their product. Another place 6 months. Another one a year and a half.
In the meantime I sold their products at cost just so people would realize I had those products and come to my shop instead of someone else’s. The ink company I waited 3 years for? I bought their ink for $10.35 a bottle (shipping included) from another company, then sold it for $10.50 for 3 years. Now I’m able to buy it directly from the company for $5 a bottle, and my profit margin is totally awesome, and I was able to lower my price to $8.75, which means the customers will come here instead of my competitors! It was worth it to keep pestering the company :)
All in all, I’m extremely proud of what I’ve built. I don’t have to answer to anyone, and my hard work pays off. If you’re looking to work less than you are now, then running your own business is not what you’re looking for.If you’re a very hard worker, smart, and willing to deal with the shit you’ll get from everyone, then maybe this is what you want to do. If you’re a take-charge person who chafes under management because you are faster, do more, and work harder than everyone around you, this might be for you.
Don’t assume you need confidence to run your own business. I found this out very quickly. I wasn’t a very confident person, and I surprised myself and my family when the store opened because I just became this very confident person. I learned the industry quickly and I was good at it, which made me feel confident. Now the guys at the shop don’t even believe me when I say I’m quiet, shy, and not confident.
My family has owned their own businesses for a long time – my dad nearly 55 years, my mom never has worked for anyone else, my uncle for 25 years, etc. They all have been through the ups and downs. I’m new to owning my own business. I worked in the medical field from the age of 12 to 31, so it was a crash course in business. My family helped me a lot with the business, and we still all help each other. If I could go back to what I was doing before and get paid the same as I did before they outsourced their work, I’d do it, because it’s so much less stress. However, I’m very proud of what I‘ve built :)
I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do, and if you have more questions, please feel free to ask.
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I love old muscle cars i have always wanted one forever. I would like a 68-72 chevelle. is the a reachable goal? I have 12-16 thousand dollars to spend. I would like a chevelle. If you own one could you plaese tell me how great they are or how often they break down and how much is needed to keep them a daily driver? if this idea of driving a classic muscle car is not possible what type of car would satisfy my love for classic muscle? if i did get a chevelle is it worth buying a true ss or should i get a cloned ss because they are cheaper? 4 speed or automatic? and how high would the insurance be for an 18 year old in new jersey driving a chevelle. please put in your comment if you have or had a chevelle so i can see who has had actual experince with one of these treasures. Thank You
How to get insurance in your name?
If my son obtains a loan for a truck that is for me how can I get the insurance in my name and under my own insurance.My son insurance would be too high with his age and I will be the only driver.
Can anyone suggest me a good health insurance company in India which also offers maternity benefits?
Can anyone suggest me a good health insurance company in India which also offers maternity benefits?
How do I get health insurance for my baby to be born in April?
I am self-employed, therefore have a limited health insurance plan just for me & my husband (In other words, no employer health insurance). To keep my premiums affordable, I have a very high deductible, no maternity coverage (I am paying cash to a midwife), very bare bones, in other words. Can anyone direct me as to what company/where to start? The one company I inquired with told me I could not even submit the application until my newborn was 32 days old. Is this standard practice? Thanks for your help. I really detest the subject altogether!""
Which car insurance is the cheapest and the best of all?
I know there are alot of car insurance out there and I want to know which one is cheap and reliable. I heard Geico is good, can someone confirm it, are there any other good one besides Geico?""
Can you get auto insurance with policy dated back a couple days?
I got a ticket for 5 over, I have a clean record but no insurance, can I buy insurance that will back up that date. It was sat the 14th""
How does points affect my car insurance?
I just lost 4 points. I dont know much about the points system. How will it affect my car insurance when it's renewed? I am in NJ, if that makes difference. Thanks.""
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
I'm trying to convince a priest to buy car insurance?
I went to the church for the first time since passover a week ago and, being a car insurance salesman, I turned a conversation about sacred divinity of the Lord Jesus Christ into a conversation about low, low premiums on your car insurance. The Priest nodded respectively but kept trying to turn the conversation back to that long-dead carpenter. He was all like You know what's the best hell insurance? Jesus. and I was trying so damn hard, but he wouldn't budge. I converted to catholicism just to try to sell him insurance, I confessed my deepest darkest sins just so I could get him the lowest, fairest rates. I don't know if I can stomach another communiun cracker or resist making another molestation joke. I'm always like, What about your wife Father Connely, does she need car insurance? and he says Priests aren't allowed to have wives, sir. This f**king guy is impossible! I would rather be crucified than deal with this tough-as-nails-in-Jesus' hands customer for another second! I hope Heaven doesn't exist so I don't have to deal with this prick for an eternity! I've called him four times a day for the last week, but he always coerces me into talking about my sins, my trials and tribulations and i'm like, F**K! What do I do?""
Car Insurance Estimate - Looking to buy a car but need to know if I can afford insurance.?
18 year old male License 2 years 1 accident rear ender >$1000 Fulltime student at Virginia Tech where car will be the majority of the year Employed No tickets. I'm looking for a sports car like a Mustang but if the insurance is too outrageous then I'll just get something else. Thanks for anyone's help!
What is the Best health Insurance???
I'm trying to get Insurance but I don't know if it comes with my job.....How do i get health Insurance..... I was wondering Whats the best Health Insurance out there that would help cover a lot of money.......Because since I'm older now my Fathers Insurance can no longer cover me and I'm trying to support myself...... Thank you all sooo much for your answers ^_^
17 year old car insurance prices ?
im comparing cars on moneysupermarket because im 16 an need a heads up on insurances costs etc... but i compared a classis mini 1.0- annual: 6000 and Monthly: 650 also, 2007 vauxhall corsa 1.0- annual: 8000 Monthly: 852 and a 1993 Ford Fiesta 1.1- annual: 12000 Monthly: 1152 now i can sort of understand the price for the mini, due to its a small car with a small engine, but the corsa's like brand new? how can the insurance be sort of lowish. but why are they charging huge amounts for a fiesta that is older than me and is probably falling to piece's slowly ? im so confused :S can some one help me and please explain this i really want to be able to have a first car at 17 but at this rate i might be stuck on a motorcycle for a few years then maybe have enough money to afford a car :/""
Where to have my car insurance?
My insurance is up for renewal soon and I have a little dilemma. 4 days a week I work away from home living with realatives close to my job and the other 3 days I am at home. not the best situation but as I can't take my kids out of school I have to go where the work is. Now If I insure my car at my realtives address it is 200 cheaper then at my family home but can I legally insure my car away from the family home.
Am i insured if driving without a licence?
my friend was in a car accident although she is insured her driving licence had expired
About how much does car insurance cost for a 18 year old that just got her liscence?
About how much does car insurance cost for a 18 year old that just got her liscence?
Why is my insurance going up?
I've been working with my employer for 7 years, as of right now I have employee & spouse coverage, I pay about 150 a month (auto deduct from paycheck) and that amount gets me a $5000 deductible and about a $25-$30 co-pay. this morning in a company meeting we were told that our insurance is going to go up (starting June 1st) now for employee and spouse it is going to be $410 a month (everything else the same as before co-pay and deductible) last year my hubby had some medical issues and we have about $7000 in medical bills (on a payment plan we pay $400 a month) so now when my new rate kicks in (in about a week) I will have to pay a total of $800 a month just for medical stuff... I can't afford this. my employer is very upset and wants to shop around but has been shopping around for 8 months now and can't find anything better than this. why is health insurance rising?? I am thinking about dropping myself from health insurance all together (I am 31 and healthy), also i plan on getting rid of my cable and internet (which would save $140 a month), my husband (with medical issues) will get health insurance through his work (about $160-$200 a month) and I will go without for a couple of years just so we can keep our heads above water... I just have a question about my plan of action- can I drop my Health insurance? will I get fined for opting out of health insurance when Obamacare goes into action next year?""
""Looking for a good car insurance agency but not too expensive, any advise ?""
Hi, i have been with allstate for over ten years for my car insurance but recently i just got a newer car and it sky-rocked and im looking for a better rate, if anyone would recommend some i would appreciate it so i can get some good rates to look at and compare, I don't know why it went up so high because i have had no tickets or accidents in fifteen years but they say they have not made any mistakes with it. Thanks for the advise Deb :)""
How much would motorcycle insurance be?
I am a 16 year old caucasian male. Want to know how much insurance would be in TORRANCE, CALIFORNIA for my first bike, a 2001 Honda CBR600F4i.""
Finding taxi insurance and licensing in Florida.?
I'm trying to find an insurance provider for my taxi in Pinellas County, Florida and can't seem to find anyone who provides insurance to taxis. I'm also trying to find out where to go for licensing and what type of licenses i need. Does anyone out there have any information that may help?""
Will a cat D effect the cost of insurance?
i know the insurers value the car at up to 25% less so it's important to get a car that is atleast 25% below most similar models but what about the insurance group does that go up?
First Time Insurance?
Does anyone have any suggestions of companys for Insurance for a first time driver, i dont expect it to be too cheap but most qoutes ive had are Horrendous. also, cars that would be low on insurance would be great, cheers!""
How much would motorcycle insurance on a yamaha r6 in nj be?
Idk how old I'll be when I get one, can I get an answer for ages 18 and 21 please? thanks!""
Why not discuss health care insurance in 'car insurance' terms?
You buy collision car insurance to cover repairs, right? The REAL money is in the COST OF REPAIRS. If those costs are high, then insurance premiums will be high. But we don't scream at the car insurers, we usually scream at the body shop for the high costs of repairs. Shouldn't the focus be on high priced office calls and hospital costs instead of the insurance premiums required to cover them? After all, if an appendectomy cost only $50 (to make a point) then 'insurance' would be dirt cheap. I think that villainizing the insurance deflects from the root of the problem.""
My insurance quote on a 2SS 2010 Camaro?
I just wanted to get an estimate of what my insurance cost would be for a 2010 Camaro since I'm 16 yrs old. In the quote I put my mom and dad also as drivers of the car and I told them I took a driver's ed course and that I had a really good gpa (which I do). My quote was $186 per month on a 2SS Camaro and I'm 16 yrs old. That thing has freakin over 400 HP. I was just wondering if I'm getting a good deal or a bad deal. Thanks for all the help everyone
Need insurance help please?
I got into a car accident a few months ago (my fault). My insurance company denied my claim and didn't pay for the damages. Fast forward to today I get a letter saying that the insurance company of the guy who hit me are demanding that I pay them 6129 dollars. I don't have that kind of money im only 22 and I live with my parents. What will they do to me if I cant pay them? What can I do? (I live in california btw)
License suspended because of no insurance?
What happens after that? I live in California and I couldn't afford insurance then but now I can. Question is will i be able to get my license back if I get insurance immediately or will I have to reapply for a new one and pay back fines which add up daily?
How long do you have to go to school for an insurance company?
Or any insurance place? For car, hostiapl, boats ect.....""
Ideas for quick car with cheap insurance?
I'm 21 and looking to get a new car that's both fast and cheapish to insure. I have 2 years NCB, with a clean license and I've never crashed. I have looked at some hot hatches and fast saloons. I was surprised to find that insurance for a Golf GTi was more than for a C32 AMG, a 180mph car with 150bhp more! I'm tempted by the AMG, but servicing might suck my wallet dry... Are there any other options? Looking for 0-60 around 5 - 6s, good mid range power, 5 seats, and economy at least in the 20s""
""Does anybody know of the cheapest car insurance company in Hamilton, Ontario?""
Getting car insurance these days is getting ridiculous...I've gotten quotes for $500, etc. but there has to be something cheaper out there. I'm getting an old car, so just basic insurance would be fine, so I can legally drive. Does anybody know of the cheapest car insurance company in Hamilton, Ontario?""
Where can i buy cheap insurance for 13 years olds in Atlanta?
I Have a 13yr old and i need to get Cheap insurance for him to play.
What would my insurance be around?
how much money a month would my insurance be around for a 17 year old with drivers ed course and been insurance for 7months the car I want is a 1984 cutlass and just say the car is worth 1500 and please no stupid answers
Why is my car insurance so high?
Just finished paying a year of car insurance at like 125 a month. Just got my new bill for the year. They want 195 atleast first month. Are there cheaper car insurance companies out there?
Do I have to pay higher car insurance if I buy a second car?
I have a Chevy Cobalt and have insurance for it. If I want to buy a used truck also so I have two vehicles, do I have to pay higher car insurance costs? Do I need to get a second policy for the truck?""
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
I NEED A CAR INSURANCE EXPERT!!!?
I'm a first time driver (with provisional license)... I don't get it, why does insurance cost more (4000 - progressive) for 2005 Nissan Frontier then for a 2003 BMW z4 (2500 - Progressive).... and its not only that, it costs less for a corvette then for a v6 mustang... And its like that for all insurance companies from e-surance to Geico, can anyone explain why or if it even will be that much less?!?!? i mean its more for a BMW 325 4dr (2900 - progressive) then for the BMW z4... How is this possible... Will it cost even less if i get it on my mom's policy? BTW i know BMW are expensive to maintain, but i got a job that i believe will cover everything... do they make z4 4 cylinders or is it only 6? Based on the lowest type of insurance that an 17 year old can get from internet quotes... Ty in advance!""
Car insurance? Audi a3? Finance?
I'm 17 and looking to pass my test by October when I will be 18. Now I went into an Audi garage and they said I could get a a3 on finance when I've passed my test and I'm 18. But I'm just wondering how much would the insurance be? Would they give me a deal or could it be cheaper on my dads? Thanks. Btw I've never had a car or insurance before
17 year old car insurance prices ?
im comparing cars on moneysupermarket because im 16 an need a heads up on insurances costs etc... but i compared a classis mini 1.0- annual: 6000 and Monthly: 650 also, 2007 vauxhall corsa 1.0- annual: 8000 Monthly: 852 and a 1993 Ford Fiesta 1.1- annual: 12000 Monthly: 1152 now i can sort of understand the price for the mini, due to its a small car with a small engine, but the corsa's like brand new? how can the insurance be sort of lowish. but why are they charging huge amounts for a fiesta that is older than me and is probably falling to piece's slowly ? im so confused :S can some one help me and please explain this i really want to be able to have a first car at 17 but at this rate i might be stuck on a motorcycle for a few years then maybe have enough money to afford a car :/""
Does anyone know how much car insurance will be on a 2003 ford focus svt 2 door?
im thinking about buying a ford focus svt i just need to no around how much car insurance might be if any one knows
How much do you pay for car insurance in Ontario? ?
how much a month do you pay a month? what kind of car? anything to lower it? and WHAT AGE ARE YOU? <<<important
Getting a ticket for no insurance?
how much does it cost for getting a ticket for no insurance in california ?
Allstate car insurance raise my rates has anyone experience this?
im from miami last year i paid 148 now this year i pay 169 what are some ways i can lower insurance each time i talk to the lady that handles my account she invents things or can i talk to anyone from allstate?
Will a speeding ticket affect my husbands insurance if I am insured through a different company?
Last year I got a traffic ticket for speeding. I am insured through AAA. We were only recently married and the car I drive is registered through my parent's name as they bought the car. I am not the primary subscriber and I am just down as a driver. My husband has his own car insured through State Farm Insurance. I realize that my own car insurance would be affected but would my husband's? We dont have the same last name, Im not on his insurance in any way other than perhaps a driver but even that I dont think we have updated. We got a notification from State Farm that his rates will go up now because of my violation, in my own car, through my own seperate company. Is this right? Can they do that? Does this mean that both AAA and State Farm get to raise the rate on me?""
Car insurance cheaper with 2 drivers?
Ok guys, learning to drive hopefully pass my test within a couple of months, what I'm wondering is, I'll go onto my fathers insurance for a couple of years as 2nd driver, no I will not be the main driver before any of you come on to say that's illegal it's called fronting I know I know. He uses it 5 days a week for work anyway ill probably only be using it during the weekends, I'm only really going on his so I can get a couple of years on my license and when it comes to it my insurance won't be a fortune, I'm 25 just now, worked out if I want to have my own insurance it with a small 1L engine it would cost me 1547 a year, not gonna happen, so I'm going to go onto my fathers insurance as 2nd driver to his car. A 1.8L vauxhall vectra. Ok now to the question lol, my fathers insurance just now is 26 a month, with me going on to his insurance it will work out at 18 each a month, is this normal? Insurance to go down when you add a 2nd named driver who would only have passed his test?? This is fully comprehensive cover. But if I wanted to driver my own car a small 1L engine it would be roughly 129 a month. Seems like it doesn't add up. Go figure lol Got the quotes from go compare and confused.com. Just seems like it doesn't add up, have insurance for 26 a month with 1 driver or have it for 18 each with 2 drivers, one who has little experience and has only just passed his test driving a 1.8L engine""
Cheapest car insurance companies for 18 year old female?
Cheapest car insurance companies for 18 year old female?
What is the penalty for driving without insurance in California?
If you have proof of insurance, and you pay monthly for insurance but it is invalid insurance because your license is suspended. I've seen answers from $500 up to $2000 what is correct.""
Buying Car Insurance for a new car?
I am on my parents policy right now and plan on buying a new car , along with the new car new insurance. My question is, do you buy the car insurance before or after you buy the car. Logic would say before since it is illegal in my state to drive without insurance, but I could be wrong Can someone clarify?""
""Would $5,000 cover the premium for a decent family health insurance plan?""
If McCain's credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market ...show more""
What Insurance Saves You the Most Money?
By your experience. Any insurance company All-State, State Farm, Progressive etc... and how much your auto/life insurance costs and how much you saved.""
How good is Delta Dental Insurance and is it worth it?
My mom is out of work and needs to have some dental work done. I was thinking to get her a Delta Dental Insurance in the hopes that it will help her. If you currently have this insurance or had it in the past, could you please tell me if it's worth it. Thanks.""
What is average cost of insurance for 1st time bike owners in the UK?
I wanted to ask what is the average cost of insurance (per month or per year) for a person who've just passed CBT and plans to own a 125cc motorbike? Thank you :)
Affordable health insurance in NC?
Hello everyone. I have been a few months without health insurance and I know I need it. I am looking for some affordable insurance, health, dental, and possibly maternity? I am not pregnant but I want to take some preventative measures just in cause, I know it can be expensive. I keep looking but $700 and such a month is really not in my budget right now. So does anyone know of some cheap insurance? I'm in NC. Thanks everyone!""
What is the cheapest car insurance for teens to buy themselves?
I'm 19 years old and shortly will buy my own car. I'm trying to be independent and need to buy my own affordable car insurance for my car. The quotes from name brand insurance co. like geico and progressive are between $800-$1300/mo. That is so crazy and obviously cannot afford that. Does anybody know where I can find reasonable priced insurance (non name brands) that just covers the minimum? My budget is $100 and less. BTW, I live in SouthFlorida.""
Insurance payments and credit?
A friend of mine says she likes to pay her car insurance in monthly installments (as opposed to in bulk every 6 months) because it helps her credit. I've never heard of this. I told her that she would save money if she paid it all at once (because the insurance company offers a discount for paying in full), but she said paying the extra money was worth the benefit to her credit. She doesn't have credit cards or loans or any type of revolving credit. Is she correct that paying in monthly installments helps her credit?""
Contents Insurance. Average Price Roughly??
Not fantastic area, sharing a house. I have usual 20 something stuff (TV, Games Console, Laptop, DVD Player) Rough Price, THANKYOU""
With geico does insurance increase once your child gets a drivers permit?
With geico does insurance increase once your child gets a drivers permit?
Where to go to find a house/car insurance quotas!?
I have a project for my economics class, we have to make a family of four budget for a month and we have to like buy a house, a car, food, and lots of other things But with this we have to go into detail and we have to find out the Homeowner/Renter Insurance and Automobile Insurance but I really have NO clue where to go to find this. Is there any website that just gives you the direct quota of how much it will cost you a month? Help me out anyone?""
How much might they charge me for no insurance ticket in wyandot ks?
was following my boyfreind in my brothers car and I took a wrong exit near the speedway. I went down stateline rd looked for a gas station for directions. Found a gas station to ask for directions and the guy did not speak understandable english so tired and lost I took off down the road and forgot to turn my head lights on was puulled over and given a ticket for the lights and it turns out that my brother did not have insurance on the car and that I had forgot my purse way down in pittsburg. I am being told that I may have to pay a $1200 fine and get some weird insurance that cossts $300 or more a month and that it is possible htat they will take my liscense away. This can't be rite?!!? I have a clean driving record and only make $250 a month can't hardly pay rent. Sombody who knows awnser please!!!!!
How Insurance Companies Calculate Food & Hotel Expenses?
I have renters insurance, there was a fire, and I cannot live in the apartment while it is being repaired. The insurance company - State Farm, said they will pay for my and food expenses. How do they calculate these numbers, maximums, etc. Thanks!""
Why am I having so much trouble finding Health Insurance?
I am 51, just retired from 25 year career, have a 17 yr old son, I am taking a year off before I get back to the grind. I thought it would be fairly simple to buy a private health insurance for my son & I - we're healthy people. We get a quote, move on a little, then find out they want 100 to 150 dollars more a month than the original quote. This is honestly one of the hardest things I have ever done. Does anyone, please, have a tip or two to help me get affordable health insurance.""
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
What the Cheapest Car insurance company in your area?
I know this answer can vary based on your driving record and other factors.
What car in your opinion would cost the least on insurance?
A acura rsx, Lexus is300, scion tc""
18 year old full cover insurance?
I'm 18 and I have full cover insurance on a saab 97x but I pay 200$ I wanna see what I can do to pay less
Will my car insurance rate change?
Okay so I got married this May and my car insurance is still in my old name and my old address... My husband has a couple tickets and accidents on his record... Will this make my insurance rate go up? Also I'm not living in the town that I got my insurance in anymore, will this be an issue? Thanks in advance!""
Who has the best car insurance thats the cheapest?
i need the best (or even the not so best) car insurance that is perferably the cheapest with a range of 100 to 160 dollars a month for a civil service worker
Affordable dental insurance that includes braces?
I live in Santa Maria Ca,93458""
""Pregnant With No Health Insurance In Houston, TX?""
Hello Yahoo Community, I am married, pregnant, with no health insurance. I have applied for Medicaid and CHIP and was denied assistance based on my income, I apparently make too much money to qualify. I slightly cross the threshold. If you subtract our bills minus our earnings we're left with peanuts. We only pay for necessities not for commodities. There is nothing I can cut back on because we're paying for the basic stuff. I've look for insurances but I am having a hard time finding one that covers maternity costs and if they do they're tremendously expensive and out of our reach. Also since it's a pre-existing condition, most insurances don't cover it. Does anyone know about any programs where I can partially pay for the services? Or affordable insurances that I could apply for? I've researched extensively and can't seem to find anything. I am 10 weeks already and have not had my first pre-natal appointment. It's becoming rather stressful. Any help or information will be appreciated. Thank You.""
What is a cheap insurance?
I am a student and i dont want to pay a lot for car insurance i want the cheapest
How good is USAA auto insurance?
I heard about a company called USAA for auto insurance yesterday. I think it's a website for military officers, and ex-officers or enlisted people. My dad was in the Air Force and I think that qualifies, but I dont know how good this company is or how well they deal with claims. Please tell me about your experiences with them.""
""How much is a speeding ,no insurance,and without id ticket can cost in Augusta Georgia?""
my daughter was caught speeding,no license,no insurance,how much does the tickets total?""
Is mandatory auto insurance constitutional?
Ever since debated started in regards to Obamacare, conservative pundits and politicians have been arguing that making people buy health insurance is unconstitutional. That putting people in jail with fines for not buying something is wrong. Well, what's the difference with auto insurance. People HAVE to have car insurance in the US and are put in jail if they don't. I don't see the difference.""
How much would insurance be on a red 98 Honda Prelude (2door)?
Im 17 year old male with my g2, ive had it for 2 years now and want to find out how much insurance will be before i purchase it. Ive tooken the car driving school and have had one small ticket. also dont want to have to pay to get a ins quote so anything will help! plz help :)""
What is the best auto insurance for teens?
What is the best auto insurance for teens?
Is it legal to Drive a borrowed car without insurance?
Let's say my friend has this car, up to date tags, and insurance for himself, and all the works for FOR HIM. He lets me borrow it, I get pulled over or i get in a fender bender Aside from the ticket and the damages is there any legal problems there? Diving a insured car but me not having insurance and other stuff?""
""Car insurance for a 17 year old UK, is it cheaper if i add my mum as a driver?""
Basically, If I add my Mum as another driver to my car on my insurance, does the price get lowered?""
Can I add a motorcycle to my car insurance policy without them rechecking my points?
I want to buy a motorcycle and add it to my insurance but when I got insurance I only had 4 points. Now I unfortunately have 6 points (3 points come off in 10 months) and I probably cannot afford to pay for insurance that high. A few months ago I asked them if I could switch the car I drive now out for a different car and they said that was fine and that they would not recheck my points but would just give me a new, higher rate (since it was a better car) while only including the 4 points. So is it possible to just add a motorcycle to my existing policy while only continuing to pay for 4 points? Thank you very much. (I know I can call and ask the insurance company myself but I can't call them because I will be extremely busy for the next few days so I was hoping to get a quicker answer on here if anyone knows) thank you!! :)""
How much does plow insurance cost?
I'm about to turn 15 and I'm looking to buy a truck to fix up. I know plow trucks are much cheaper than one that Has never plowed jut because of the wear and tear on the front end tranny and engine. If I were to buy a plow truck I'd plow with is. I am aware of most of the other costs buy I'm looking to know how much liability insurance for plowing for cost me?
What can I expect for getting caught without auto insurance?
I recently got caught driving without insurance (stupid I know). The cop was nice enough not to impound my car, so he just gave me a ticket with a court date. I'm assuming I can expect a large fine, but what else? Anything?""
What is a very general cost for motorcycle (cruiser) insurance for a teen?
I am a 16 year old living in Kansas City, Kansas. I just need a very general quote for the annual cost for a cruiser motorcycle less than 600cc. A small bike with not a ton of power. I have taken a Basic Rider Course. I've never been involved in an accident car wise. Would it be wise to just have my dad insure it under his name? Are there any potential consequences for that? I only need liability as the bike is only worth around $1300. I have not bought one yet.""
How come insurance is almost double for 2 cars.?
I can't drive 2 cars at once, only one at a time. Therefore, the odds of causing an accident are the same as if I had one car. Why don't insurance actuaries know this?""
Car Insurance Company Refuses to Insure my Brother!?
So, my brother got into a car accident about 3 years ago. He was driving his car and a motorcyclist ran into him doing around 90 mph, causing the bike to flip and the guy on the bike to dismount and skid across the freeway. The motorcyclist was lucky he didn't get run over or killed. It was deemed by both the insurance companies that it was the motorcyclists fault and when the motorcyclist tried to sue our insurance company, we got a letter from our attorney that the case had been dismissed and no further action was needed. Today, we got a call out of the blue from Mercury saying my brother couldn't be on the insurance anymore because they had settled with the motorcyclist for $100,000 and basically, if we didn't get him off the insurance, my whole family would be removed. We didn't receive any notification that Mercury was planning on paying this guy out or that our rates would be altered. We called the attorney's office but he wasn't in and we explained the situation and the receptionist said they might of just settled anyway without letting us know even though this whole thing wasn't even my brother's fault. My question is, if the accident was the fault of the motorcyclist and when the motorcyclist initially sued and was denied a settlement (there was no mention of a settlement on the attorney's letter; it just said that it was dismissed), how and why would Mercury give this jacka$$ $100,000 and deny my brother coverage? It's all very confusing and any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!""
Car insurance on second how is it covered.?
I am very confuse. I added a second car so that my lil brother can be insured under my policy because its more affordable for him. both car is stored at different address and my address was the permanent address on the policy. Is he still insured? His registation and license is still listed at my address because he use to live with me. Now that he moved out will he still be insured because his licesnse and registration permanenet address is still listed at my home, but his mailing address has change? If he get in accident will it affect me personally like insurance sue me for any damages that is beyond the coverag. How does adding a 2nd driver and car works? Also, Is there such thing like if I insured his car without added him as a second driver and still be insured if he or anyones drives it. If you are an expert and clarify this for me. I want greatly thank you in advance for taking time to help me.""
Any advice on GAP Insurance?
Just signed up to buy new SMART car with Mercedes dealer on 1,000 deposit then 111 a month for 3 yrs with option to buy car for balance at end or hand car back. Finance guy has advised me to buy GAP insurance cost 300 for 3 years. (This is on top of normal insurance) Has anybody had any dealings with this or can they advise please? I would appreciate serious replies only THANKS A LOT""
Can you drive your parents' car without insurance?
Im 17 years old , I live in California and my parents have AAA insurance and I have my Driver's license. is it true that you need permission from them in order to drive?""
How does car insurance work?
I work at *** insurace services and im a secretary. i do nothing but answer calls. i want to know how this place works. i know they insure taxis,. limos, trucks. and personal cars. but how do my managers get paid. HOW DOES THIS PLACE WORK. so i dont have to feel lost all the time at work. i still dont know why they hired me.. weird""
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
Counselor New Mexico Cheap car insurance quotes zip 87018
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/caa-car-insurance-quote-jayden-gonzalez/"
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commercial car insurance ireland
"commercial car insurance ireland
commercial car insurance ireland
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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commercial car insurance ireland
commercial car insurance ireland
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My son will be 16 tomorrow and got a learner's permit Friday.
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commercial car insurance ireland
commercial car insurance ireland
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What is the average cost for an sr22 insurance?
what is the average cost for an sr22 insurance?
Cheapest Car Insurance Deal For A 17Year Old In The UK?
Cheapest Car Insurance Deal For A 17Year Old In The UK?
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Will a dropped speeding ticket affect insurance rates?
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What kind of life insurance companies are there in states?
Illegal Immigrants and Helth insurance?
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""If you are a 22 year old male, please reply telling me how much your full coverage car insurance is. Details!?""
If you are a 22 year old male, please reply telling me how much your full coverage car insurance is. Details!?""
Can I get medicaid? (17 weeks pregnant)?
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What's the best place to get cheap insurance on an imported Mitsubishi L300 Campervan?
What's the best place to get cheap insurance on an imported Mitsubishi L300 Campervan?
Will I be paying two deductibles or one for two car accidents different insurances?
Hi, Today I hit a car that is of a stranger and we exchanged information about each other's insurance. That person's insurance company and mine are different. We didn't ...show more""
Penalty for driving without car insurance?
What would happen if i were to get caught driving without insurance in california? I'm 17 years old. and a month. Just got my license a few days ago. My car is registered. And i of course have a clean driving record and half never been pulled over. The tags don't expire until august 2009
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For example, if she is a stay at home mom and he works full time and pays extra money to have her put on his insurance. I say this because eating right is an important part of being healthy and to be honest I don't want my future wife to be overweight.""
Gettng bike insurance in chennai?
am from chennai..want to take 2 wheeler bike insurance..used bike..2006 model pls advise me on best insurance company that offers reasonable rate.. i currently have united insurance policy,but feel it is costly""
I really need a cheap auto car insurance?
i need a car insurance my record its not really that good!!! does anyone know about any car insurance that deal whit this kind of drivers on new jersey
I don't have car insurance but i have a license?
I'm confused, i dont have my own car but i drive my mothers car and THAT car has insurance. I dont get it, if i drive it do i need insurance under my name or is it good enough if the car has insurance under her name? I hope i havent been driivng illegally all along....""
Help!!! I need cheap auto insurance!!!!!?
I am a 28 yr old woman that lives in Delaware. I need to know where I can find cheap full coverage. I have 1 speeding ticket on my driving record and I had a lapse in insurance. Any suggestions?
commercial car insurance ireland
commercial car insurance ireland
Where can I get an insurance quote for my Toyota hilux?
GoCompare and other sites don't list it when I try to quote car insurance... Im in the uk
I'm turning 16 this year and i was wondering about insurance prices on a few cars?
I recently found a 1994 misubishi 3000gt, and a 1997 pontiac trans am. Like i said I'm turning 16 this summer and I want to know what car is better on insurance for a kid like me? I would also like to know which would be better for the winters in Idaho? An estimate will be perfictly fine. Thank you very much.""
What is the cheapest insurance company to switch to for a descent price after a DUI?
I am 23 and have a 2005 chevy silverado single cab. It's paid off in full. I usually like to have basic & Im on my dads plan which is about 3-400 a year. & they are now increasing it to 800$. I would like to switch to a company that I can pay less to.
Cheap 125cc Bikes to Insure?
Anyone know of 125ccs cheap to insure. By the way does 3 points on my license affect insurance quotes that much??
Need health insurance for my child
need health insurance for my child I have a child who lives with his mom and I need to buy health insurance for him, Im also moving o/s so I cannot get insurance though my work, does anyone know of any programs or discount insurance company I can go though.""
Will my husband's car insurance cover the cost of the damaged car?
I was driving my husband's car (in the UK) which is insured in his name. He also put my name in the insurance agreement that I have permission to drive his car etc. However, I do not have a driving licence but my husband does of course. I got into a serious car accident and my husband's car is completely ruined. The police took information and saw that I was driving the car. Will my husband's car be covered by his insurance or will they reject it because I was driving it? He has fully comprehensive car insurance. Thanks.""
Vehicles with lowest insurance rates?
I live in Ontario Canada. I'm needing a car for work now. I have three tickets about two years ago; two running red light tickets and one for driving ten over the limit. I'm looking for a car that is good on gas and easier on the wallet for insurance. Thanks
Does 15 mins save you 15% or more on car insurance?
Does 15 mins save you 15% or more on car insurance?
""How much is the yearly average insurance for a sixteen year old in LA, California.?""
How much is the yearly average insurance for a sixteen year old in LA, California.PS. Liability only. And if you need to know the car and insurance corp its an 1995 Ferrari f355, and 21st insurance. Please give real averages and i am serious so please real and serious answers. What i mean is please tell me the price only for a year. Please only serious and real answers.""
Any 18 Year old drivers with car insurance?
I'm 18 and I cant find any insurance under 7K and this is clear ageism. Are there any other young drivers who are sole policy holders with cheaper insurance?
Why is it a better idea to chose a higher deductible health insurance plan?
How do you feel about the rising costs of healthcare?
How much would my car insurance cost?
All I need is an estimate. Well Im looking forward to buying a 2005 honda civic 4dr & it has a salvage title
Will court ask for insurance with guilty plea?
My fiancee just got a ticket. She just recently lost her insurance so she had none at the time she was pulled over. If she goes into court and pleads guilty will the court check to see if she had insurance or not? I live in California.
How much will my speeding ticket be?im 57 never once had a ticket/moving violation..it was in a school zone?
i was caught going 20 on a 15. i was driving my friends car will her insurance go up now?..i am on her insurance since we live togeather. does anyone know how much this ticket will cost me i am in las vegas
Can I change my health insurance?
I want to change my health insurance? I have Minnesotacare and I want to change it to Medical Assistance? My daughter needs braces for her teeth and Minnesotacare won't cover for it! And apparently we owe Delta Dental and our dental provider 5000 bucks?! Is that possible? We are certainly not paying 5000 for an X-rays for braces and my daughter didn't even get braces on?!
How much does insurance for a motorcycle cost?
I currently don't own a motorcycle but am curious the cost of insuring it. I live in Vermont so I would only be riding it from June to September. I would probably be riding a 2002 Yamaha YZF R6.
Does accident report effect my insurance?
someone hit my car and today we are going to make that accident report so does it effect my insurance?
Roughly how much is motorbike(moped) insurance for a 16 year old UK?
I'm 14 and im gonna start saving up to get a motorbike Im hopefully gonna talk my dad into paying for the CBT and splitting the cost of the bike, ill pay for the Provisional and insurance. So roughly how much is insurance per month for a 16 year old on a 50cc as a first time rider""
Steps in getting health insurance in one day?
Steps in getting health insurance in one day?
Car accident without insurance? Not at fault and no police report.?
This happened in California. I am an excluded driver on my dad's policy and do not have insurance myself. I was moving the car out of the garage to a parking spot in our complex. I came to a stop at a stop sign within the complex and was hit by another car who was reversing. The other driver admitted fault and I have an email where they essentially admit fault. Since I am an excluded driver and have no insurance, am I able to file a claim with their insurance company? If so, can their insurance deny the claim on the basis that I am an excluded driver and have no insurance?""
No proof of insurance ticket in CA?
I got pulled over for speeding, but also cited for no proof of insurance. I was in the process of getting it since I had just bought the car a couple weeks ago. I got insurance a couple days after the ticket. My question is, if I decide to plead not guilty, can I change the date of the insurance and show it to the judge? Would they call the insurance? The insurance sent me the proof through an e-mail so I can try to change the date on it if I wanted to. I dont want to pay the $480 fine for getting insurance after the citation...let me know, thanks""
How much should I expect to spend on full coverage auto insurance on a 2013 Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum?
I am 15 years old, my grandfather is buying me a 2013 Cadillac Escalade ESV Platinum ($85,000 MSRP) for my 16th birthday. My mom told me she would only put $200 per month towards insurance and I want full coverage. I know I will have to get a job to cover the rest of the insurance but I'd like to know a range of what other people are paying for theirs. The car is going to be in my mom's name who has never had a ticket or accident and I will be on her insurance policy, does that help? I know nobody can tell me for sure what my insurance rates would be, so can you at least tell me what yours are (if you have a Cadillac Escalade ESV)?""
How much will insurance cost lower by taking online driver's ed in Florida?
I'm 18 years old and I live in Tallahassee, Florida. I used to have a 1996 Mazda Protege DX and it cost me $127.00 a month with Acceptance Insurance. I never have had a ticket or have been in a wreck. I see some people who have way newer cars than I do and insurance is way cheaper for them. How much will insurance, on average, lower a month if I plan on taking online driver's ed in the state of Florida?""
Insurance company would not like to insure me a sole proprietorship?
I am a film major, a student and very involved in different projects. I decided to open my own film company a sole proprietorship, meaning I DBA (Do Business As). I am looking for liability insurance for my business for wedding and events. They asked me if I was doing any other type of work currently. My reponse was that yes I am involved in being cameraman for one project and editor for another. I have not signed a contract or getting paid for any of these projects, simply volunteer. They came back stating that if they were to insurance me, I as an invidividual would no longer be able to be part of any project or post anything of my personal stuff on youtube. I understand that they are trying to protect themselves and that they are insuring me personally I guess since its a DBA. Has anyone else come upon this problem? I see many videographer put their stuff up on vimeo, youtube etc.""
What are the cheapest high risk car insurance companies? I have 2 DWI's!?
I recently got my 2nd DWI. I am looking for some of the cheaper high risk auto insurace companies that I can get in Missouri. Thanks for your help
commercial car insurance ireland
commercial car insurance ireland
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Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
"Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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Can someone convince me Car insurance isn't a complete waste of money.?
I'm only just turning 18 so I've never bought insurance myself my whole life. My stance on insurance is this: You might not have full coverage, they'll try to weasel out of paying you AND you might go for years without getting into an accident. In that time, if you pool up the money you'd have spent on car insurance you'd be able to pay for a car accident anyways. Now I'm just pulling this out of my butt, I don't have much of a basis on saying these things other than its just how i feel about it all, which is why I'm here. What creases me the most out of all this is that i hear car insurance for people my age is high, they treat us all the same and were not given a chance. Apparently no one sees age discrimination if it were slapped on to their face. They force you to have car insurance in Ontario which to me sounds a little ridiculous because i thought insurance was a service, an offer provided by companies, not an obligatory contract the government makes you pay for even if you don't want it. You can see my clear disposition against it at all, quite frankly i about don't wanna drive at all at this point. Though I want to be convinced because Canada's winters are cold, and modern life today kind of requires you to have your own mode of transportation.""
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Can I purchase car insurance and not own a vehicle? The reason I ask is because lately I've been renting vehicles and they charge for insurance, by request. I figure since I use rental service often that I could go ahead and get low price insurance. Any ideas?""
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Even though I don't live in the US I have a valid credit card issued in the US, I will be traveling to the US and renting a car I have asked and been told by the credit card company that using the credit card provides insurance. I have two questions: 1.- Would the insurance be valid even if I don't have a US driver licence? 2.- Would the car rental agency allow me not to purchase the insurance even though again I don't have a US drivers licence?""
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Hello. I am looking into getting a motorcycle, because I have had my motorcycle license for oooooo about 2 days now. I am just wondering if someone can help me with some insurance questions that will better help me decide what kind of bike to buy. For instance does the size of the bike differ in price? For instance if I got a 250 cc bike would I pay alot cheaper then one that is 1100 cc's? And what about make and model? Would a Ninja be cheaper to insure then a honda? Just kind of curious. And what would be the cheapest bike to insure. Further information. I am 24 years old. I have been insured with state farm in my personal vehicle for about 7-8 years now. Unsure if they offer motorcycle insurance, just started looking.I really like street bikes, really hate sports bikes. I am just l;ooking for the bare minimum insurance as I just want to ride and be legal rather then wasting a bunch of money on insurance. I know I have alot of questions, but anything will help me. So someone let me know. Thanks!""
Is it possible to give car insurance benefits to my boyfriend?
Im going out of the country next week, I will not be coming back until the first few days of january. My boyfriend is currently staying at my house and he has no means of transportation. (He is 20 years old, and his car completely broke down--our location is Dallas TX.) I was wondering if it was possible to add him under my father's car insurance plan, with him being a non-family member. ANY information is helpful and greately appreciated. Please, no dumb comments as this is of great importance to us.""
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Is it illegal for someone to drive someone else's car if they do not have car insurance, but their friend (who owns the car) does? What would happen if they got pulled over for a ticket . . . would there end up being a big problem? What about if they had an accident . . . would they be covered under their friend's insurance? And are there are some types of insurance that would cover an accident if it was caused by the uninsured friend of the insured car owner? Thanks so much :)!""
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
""Accountant, Insurance, and Cars, please answer?
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I will be moving to NB this summer (from BC), and was wondering how the insurance rates out there are determined. Here in BC there are a number of insurance brackets (based on displacement) which determine the base rate. All bikes in any one bracket pay the same, so a 600cc sportbike is cheaper than a 883 Sportster (these are only for liability, theft and collision are based more on $$ value). In general, is it the same in NB? Would I save money by going to a smaller bike (I currently ride a 1127cc Suzuki GSX1100G), assuming the actual $$ value of the bike was about the same? Does the type of bike matter? I'd ask an insurance agent, but they are usually pretty reticent to explain how their rates are determined. Hope you can help.""
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I caused a damage to my car the other day by trying to pass between a truck parked in one lane of the road and the rest of the road. In another words there was some road works going on and only very tiny space for cars to pass. When trying to get through very slowly, I got stucked and when trying to reverse I broke my front bumper and done some other small cosmetic damages to the side of the vehicle. I am fully insured, my insurance is going to expire in about 2 months and I never made a claim before. I have bad experience with insurance companies in general and now am not sure how to follow and make insurance company to pay for the damages. There are some other damages done to the vehicle, for instance, a small stone from vehicle driving in front of me hit my windscreen and caused a small crack. I have no idea how to follow up and make the ins.company to pay. I am fed up with all travel, health and other insurance companies that just make excuses and never pay.""
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I have a car that I have a loan on that has been wrecked. Since the bank owns the car, I have full coverage & insurance is writing it off. They are going to cut a check to the bank for the balance due on the car. I have so far paid this loan on time; it has been rebuilding my credit. When the loan is paid off by insurance, will I get more points to my score since the loan was technically paid off early? Or will I only gain based on my status as paid ontime at this point?""
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I was wondering what types of luxury cars would have the lowest insurance rates? I would prefer either a sedan or coupe. So in the category of luxury sedan/coupe, what would be the lowest insurance rate? I don't care about the price of the car itself, I just want one that doesn't have me paying a bunch every month, non-stop. My definition of low is around the neighborhood of $60, preferably lower obviously. If there is no such thing, then please tell me the closest to it. Thank you in advance.""
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Recently I was involved in a collision where the other driver was at fault and their insurance company paid out for my written off vehicle. Now I have 7 days to find another car before my courtesy car gets taken away, so after using money supermarket website the cheapest quote that came up is with my current insurance company. But the issue that makes me concerned is that I recently also go a renewal quote as my insurance is about to run out and the quote was ridicously HIGH but why it is so much cheaper if I go through the comparison website? so does this mean they will make me pay that high fee of I'm not joking 29,509.43 even though the other insurance company paid out and I was not at fault? On the website the quote is 1,454 for the year which is a bit more than what I paid last year but I don't mind but I'm just worried if I bought that online would they later ask me a different price that I must pay.""
How can the government make you legally buy car insurance?
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Does my insurance go up?
I have my permit and im getting my license soon the insurance already up just adding me but will it go up more if i get my license
How much will my insurance go up?
I was trying to merge onto the freeway when the lady in front of me made an inexplicable complete stop on the on ramp. I slammed on my brakes and rode the ABS down to about 15MPH when I hit her. Turns out she was on heroine, and CHP arrested her at the scene. The chippy's were really cool and said my situation was totally understandable , but said my insurance may not see it that way. (the damage to the crack head's car was minimal, and she was not injured) I'm not going to claim the damage to my car. I can fix it myself. So lets say with a little paint and body work, her repair cost is $1000.......how much will my insurance go up? I am 23, and have a flawless driving record until today.""
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
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I wanna get a car as soon as i'm 18, so i obviously want something which will have cheap insurance. Nothing embarrasing mind.""
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Hi there people i need help with this badly i had car insurance on my car for the last 6 months but sadly i had a crash in my car and is no longer drivable, i rang up my insurance company 2 change the policy and there tellin me that if i want 2 insure with them i need 2 get my self a 4 grand car does that seem right??""
Car Insurance?
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i know both of these cars will have high insurance premium prices but I was wondering which one would generally be more than the other.
If i dont have car insurance can i still drive?
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How Do I Get Medical Insurance...???
In my situation: I'm 16 and covered under my mother's insurance through the state because she has a disability- I'm moving in with my self-employed father who's covered by his wife's insurance (which is through her job). When custody get's switched over, I'm no longer covered by my mother, and my dad doesn't have his own plan. Since no one can afford 700 dollar bills every time I get a sore throat or tooth ache, what the hell should I do? Advice PLEASE.""
A question about car insurance?
I recently got a statement from my insurance company saying that they can no longer support me because I got two tickets over the past three years (one was highway speeding, the other was a ticket given to me by a police officer who fabricated the location of infraction... I argued this in coiurt but I think I was not heard properly). I am paying around $ 1500... is it likely that I will be able to get cheaper car insurance somewhere else or is it pretty much the same everywhere?""
150cc scooter. Insurance? and License?
I am planning on purchasing a 150cc trike scooter(2 in front, 1 in back) and i was wondering if this scooter would be covered under my parents insurance seeing as i am currently under theirs? and if not how much would i need to pay a year(on average) to become insured for this scooter? I am pretty sure that a 150cc is classified as a motorcycle in Wisconsin, which is where i am currently residing. So i believe that i am required to take motorcycle safety classes and receive a motorcycle license. Correct me if i am wrong. If i were to go with a 50cc trike would i have to deal with any of the above insurance issues and licensing issues?""
What is a good type of health insurance for younger married couple.?
My wife and I are both 20 years old and don't have health or dental insurance which we definitely need. We have had a lot of hospital bills and can't keep up with them. We were denied for medicaid so I am looking for a type of health insurance that will be cheaper but include health and dental benefits. I just wanted to ask you guys before I spend all day researching stuff so if you have any advice that'd be great. Thanks
Ow much does it cost to deliver a baby without health insurance in washington hospital california ??
Ow much does it cost to deliver a baby without health insurance in washington hospital california ??
Would unemployment insurance work better if it were run by a private insurance company?
Would unemployment insurance work better if it were run by a private insurance company?
Family of 4 looking for affordable health/medical insurance.?
I am looking for insurance for me and my 3 kids. Does anyone have any suggestions as to whom i can go to to find some that won't cost me an arm and a leg. i live in west texas so any suggestions located in this area would be much appreciated.
Is it illegal to drive without insurance?
I got my G1, and you allowed to drive with an adult in the car. But i don't yet have insurance but my mom does, if she has insurance can i still drive the car? She wont let me because i don't have my own insurance yet. Is it legal for me to drive?""
""I'm 18, want a Toyota Supra in a few years. Need help!?""
I'm 18 and love cars, especially Jap cars. Before anyone starts, I'm not one of those boy-racer types, I'm genuinely interested in that car. I know you can get a 2nd-hand Supra for less than 5000, but can anyone advise on insurance and how/where to buy a Supra, by age 23/24? I plan on respraying the Supra a bright orange, and getting a bodykit for it - making it look really nice.""
Is There Any One-Day Car Insurance?
I have a car that is unplated and I don't drive it for more than one year but I am going for my G license test which can be done in one day. So, I wonder if there is any car insurance for one day in Ontario Canada?""
Do disabled people get cheaper car insurance or any other benefits?
Do disabled people get cheaper car insurance or any other benefits?
19 year old needs cheap car insurance?
i need to get car insurance but i cant afford something too expensive, im 19 my car is a 1997 ford mustang coupe, someone help i have to find a place today! my parents arent helping i have to get it on my own.""
Parents: 300cc motorcycle vs. 600cc motorcycle?
If you had a 17 year old son and he wanted a motorcycle would it make a difference to you if he started out on a low displacement motorcycle instead of a high displacement motorcycle or would you say no/yes either way.
""Pregnant with no health insurance, Texas?""
Is anyone familiar with Texas Department of Health and Human Services. I just found out I am pregnant yesterday, two days ago my husband was laid off work. His old company added an HSA for us in December and we were under the impression everything was fine with employment if they added this for our family. I finally had a family HSA as of 1/1/12 and then on 1/3/12 it was taken away. He worked 90 hours on his last paycheck almost the most of the year, and was told work is slow so he was being laid off. They also added back matching 401k this year too, yep! We have been trying for years and had no idea this would happen this way. It is just crazy! So I found out on the website for HHS of Texas the income level for benefits. I am right there underneath the level for 2 people. Do they include the unborn child as a 3rd family member yet? Also I saw that you have to list assest out like vehicles. We have two cars and that is it. We make payments on both of them, so is it possible they will deny us since we have these assets. Other than those we have no other assets. But I remember my mom being denied for SSI on my brother due to assets so I am worried. Please can anyone help ease my mind?""
Car insurance question.?
My half sister is turning 18 in a few days and she wants to use my grandmothers car for the her driver's license test. She doesn't live with my grandmother nor is she related to her, if that matters. So my question is does she need to be on my grandmother's car insurance policy to take the test with her car? If not, would she have to be put on the insurance policy if she were to drive my grandmother's car after she received her license? I live in CA btw.""
Is it legal for a car insurance company to do this?
I was in a no-fault wreck on Christmas Eve(slid into two cars on ice). The damages were about $3500 to my car. A buff job for the first car, and a chrome polish on the bumper of the old truck. They are not worried about making an insurance claim. There are not enough damages. First off, my car is fully insured with Progressive on my mother-in-laws insurance. The car is in mine and my spouse's name. I am not on the insurance because it was not allowing my mother-in-law to add me. It kept giving her an error. She was however able to add my spouse. I received a call on Saturday from a claims specialist. They told me that because I am not on the insurance, they may not cover the repairs. They are looking into whether or not she in fact did try to add me. If they can't find that she did try to add me, they said they will not cover it. Shouldn't they pay for it no matter what. Seeing how the car has comp. and collision? This is the first time I've had to deal with a claim on the insurance, so I really don't know anything about the process. I'm going in blindfolded. Everyone I've talked to has said that it doesn't matter who is driving it, if the car is insured, it's the insurance companies responsibility to cover the costs. It would be no different than you letting your neighbor borrow your car. Am I wrong??? If you have any comments or advice, please help me out. I need something to go off to work with them! Or more like against them. Thank you!""
""What are all the expenses in owning your own SEMI TRUCK plus Trailer? I mean stuff like insurance, plates,?""
I mean stuff like insurance, plates, registration, gas, taxes? On average how much do these costs run? Please name all of them and how much they usually run. Details please, Thanks !""
How exactly will the small business I work for be affected at all by the health care bill?
I work for a small business that employs around 15 people. The owner purchases insurance for all the employees. I keep hearing opponents say that this bill is going to hurt small businesses, but I don't see how it would hurt the one I am employed by. My company already purchases insurance, and even if it didn't, we don't have the 50 or more employees required for the government mandate to purchase insurance to apply to us. Therefore, it seems like everything will remain the same for us. If someone out there can offer me any insight as to how my company will be negatively affected by this bill, please come forward.""
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
Car insurance Policys?
Hi there people i need help with this badly i had car insurance on my car for the last 6 months but sadly i had a crash in my car and is no longer drivable, i rang up my insurance company 2 change the policy and there tellin me that if i want 2 insure with them i need 2 get my self a 4 grand car does that seem right??""
What debit is insurance expense and what credit is prepaid expense?
On July 1, 2007, Lumas Co. pays $15,840 to Patel Insurance Co. for a 6-year insurance contract. Both companies have fiscal years ending December 31. For Lumas Co. journalize and post the entry on July 1 and the adjusting entry on December 31 to all accounts except cash. Debit Credit July 1 Prepaid Insurance $ 15,840 Cash $ 15,840 Dec. 31 Insurance Expense $ ???? Prepaid Insurance $ ???? what would go where the question marks are?""
Auto Insurance Question?
I am a new driver and I just received my G2 a couple of moths ago. I am trying to get auto insurance at a cheep rate. I tried to add my name to my dads insurance (Johnson insurance) and their quote was 120 per month which seems a but excessive as I am only a casual driver. I was just looking for some advice and wondering if I should pay 120 per month or try elsewhere or try to barging with them Thanks a lot for any help
Pregnancy and insurance?
I am five weeks pregnant and do not have any insurance. I cannot afford too expensive insurance. Is there any other option for low-cost coverage during pregnancy? Does anybody know what kind benefits California state offer? I live a few years in the United States, so I am not familiar with types insurance. Thank you for any suggestions and help.""
Approximate price of motorcycle insurance?
hello, i am 17 years old and have just gotten my M1, i am looking at buying a honda cbr 125 (2008 in white). i was wondering if anyone had an approximate estimate on how much ...show more""
Is Mass Mutual insurance affiliated with any other insurance companies?
any agencies affiliated to Mass Mutual life insurance
Insurance for a Porsche Panamera 2011?
Im planning on buying a porsche about 3-4 years from now. Im getting my license this month and wanted to know will it really cost 2-3k a month for insurance on a porsche? Are their any cheap insurances you suggest?
Where can I Find Reliable Cheap Life Insurance Quotes?
I recently started a home internet based business. When I was just starting out I went without insurance for a while. Now that things are going well I would like to buy a life insurance policy. There are a ton of life insurance sites, but most of them seem biased or focused on an individual provider. Where can I find a good life insurance quote site that is unbiased or gives me quotes from a wide array of services? Also, are there any good tips for saving money buying life insurance for small business owners?""
Why do woman drivers get cheaper car insurance?
Why do woman drivers get cheaper car insurance?
""Would it be worth going through insurance, pictures?""
Its a 2002 Honda Accord SE 4-door. Lets just they there was an incident, anyways. The rear passenger door is banged in. My issue is, if I buy a replacement, would it be hard to mount the door, are the bolts, just screw on, and the door is already aligned or is there some type of process? The deductible would be $500 with the possibility of higher insurance rates. I could get the door in the same color for less. What should I do through insurance or do it myself, would it be difficult? I have someone who will paint it, if it doesn't match. Supposedly, as far as the Window components are (Regulator etc, they are included in the replacement also) http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a81/oyoki1/Pictures1026.jpg""
Do you believe everyone has a right to medical insurance?
What are the pros and cons of giving everyone access to medical care?
Will Hillary Clinton universal health care program force all Americans to pay for health insurance?
How will those who are unemployed pay for health insurance under her plan?
Is it better to repair cars with insurance company or known mechanic?
I met with an accident the other day where a drunk guy hit me at the rear end of my totyotal avalon. there is considerable body work to be done. i dont know if there may be any ...show more
Im looking for really cheap mediocre Auto Insurance!!1 HELP!!! PLEASE?
I have a mustang and I want cheap Cheap insurance any Ideas? I need to be able to pay with a credit card.
How do I sell Health insurance in California?
How do I sell Health insurance in California?
A question about my homeowners insurance check please. This doesn't make any sense.?
I don't understand why my homeowners insurance wants my bank to sign off on a check to cover my insurance claim. They plan to mail my check to me of which I then have to take to the bank to have them sign off before I can then cash it in. They never made me do this before when my tree fell into my barn. Why the change?
What would actually be the CHEAPEST car insurance for a 2011 challenger srt8?
I need to find out what car insurance company located near Covington, Louisiana sells the CHEAPEST full coverage car insurance that would be paid in full every 6 months for a fully loaded Dodge Challenger SRT8 with an automatic 5 speed transmission with the fuel saver technology feature? Any suggestions?""
Car insurance denied claim because they cannot contact its insured.?
Hi. On April first, my neighbor hit my dad's car in our neighborhood. Our garages are facing each other, and my dad was going backwards to get out of our garage. He was already in the street and he was ready to go in his way. Suddenly, our neighbor back out from her garage very fast and hit the driver door of my car. She didn't stay in that position, she moved and my dad did the same. The white bumper of her van had no visible damages, but my door needs to be replaced. Also, there is white paint in car in the place she hit it. We asked for her insurance, but she didn't have it in that moment. We wrote the plate number and took some quick pictures. I called my insurance to report the accident. In the night, when she returned home, we asked for her insurance, but she refused. We called the police and she agreed to give us her insurance information. In fact, she wrote the information herself. I called her insurance(Geico) the next day, and she had already made a claim, and she only said she didn't hit my car; she didn't give more details. My dad gave his version of the accident with a lot of details, but she didn't do it. Her Insurance tried to contact her, but there is no answer from her. I see her everyday, so I am sure is not responding on purpose. Now, her insurance called me and told me that because she is not responding, there is no way to confirm she was involved in the accident. therefore, they denied liability. I was shocked because they took that decision only because they cannot contact her. They didn't came to take pictures of the place or the cars. So, I tell them I was going to send the pictures I took. I did send the pictures but now, the adjuster is not in his office, and he will be back next week on Thursday. Right now, I don't know what to do, I could pay for the reparation of my car, but I don't believe that's fair. Please, if someone can guide me with this case. What can I do?""
Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?
Father wants to add a named driver to his insurance policy and wants to add the wife who is 48 years old whom holds a provisional licence. However, the daughter who is 17 (nearly 18) wants to be added as a named driver as she does quite a lot of practising in the car. From the situation would it be the same price for both? or would it be cheaper for the older women. Both have not passed test so wouldn't the insurance policy price be the same for both. I would like to know the difference? or whether it would be the same as both just hold provisional license?""
I got a ticket and need to know what my insurance will cost?
I got a reckless driving ticket I'm 16 no other tickets or wreck I have Erie insurance What will my insurance cost bcus my mom canceled it and I have to pay it now
Car Insurance for teens?
How much would it cost monthly for a teenage girl? You don't have to be exact but make an estimate.
How much will it cost to register my car in NYC ( w/out Insurance)?
How much will it cost to register my car in NYC ( w/out Insurance)?
""Can we hit it out?(16 yr old, 20yr old guy)?""
and before you go saying I have no right being with someone that age and that I'll make a huge mistake; Im virgin. Im saving myself for marriage and I even got a purity ring. I know some of the tricks in the book(like the one where the older guy tricks the younger girl into thinking shes inlove to get in her pants and ect.) so Im no fool, my mom taught me better than that. But Im gonna flirt with him, he's really cool(he's a sk8er boi) and he's so short and his face looks so young that if you didnt know any better you'd swear he's like 17 or something. now once again, Im not stupid enough to have sex with him; I respect myself and body to much to let myself go like that, the only guy getting is this is the one on one knee with a diamond ring. Additional Details oh and ps. he does like me. he said once that my boyfriend better watch out, he's got a cute girlfriend. Someone might take her. and when he washes his car when Im outside he purposley takes off his shirt as if Im not watching him.""
Car insurance help for a young driver?
I'm looking to buy this 2002(51 reg) 1.6L Volkswagen Beetle Hatchback. I'm a new driver and have looked everywhere for a cheap insurance quote. I'm just wondering whether the insurance will go down by much after my first year driving? thankyouuuuu x
Is there any way to get cheap car insurance for a 17 year old who received a drink driving ban at 16?
im 17, live in the UK and received a DR10 driving conviction (drink driving) at the age of 16 riding a moped, i was banned for 12 months and i was wondering if there is any way at all i can get cheap insurance for a car? this would be my first car, i've done quotes on comparing sites such as 'www.comparethemarket.com'. Please no stupid answers telling me im an idiot for drink driving, i know what ive done and i know im stupid for it, can anyone help me? decent answers appreciated :)""
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
Berlin North Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 58415
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/missouri-insurance-exam-ronald-stevenson/"
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What would my allstate car insurance be?
"What would my allstate car insurance be?
im a 16 year old female. i went through driver's ed (so you're suppose to get a discount) and my mom had been a member of allstate for at least 10 years with no accidents or anything. so im wondering, about how much would MY car insurance be?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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Is someone who is only insured on their works car insurance ok to drive my car?
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Would claiming on insurance/suing cause this guy to lose his job?
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What is the best insurance company if I live in Alabraska?
Estimate for car insurance?
I know there are SO many factors considered. I am considering purchasing my first car (I would get it new, have loved Mazda 3 forever) and curious as to what I would pay a month in insurance or what average is. Bit of details, I live in Ontario, Canada, I will be 23 this year, female, I have a clean driving record (granted I've only had my G2 for a year and a half), my credit history is very good if that matters, I took driver's ed. I have no idea about what is considered average. Thanks!""
Is there a website for health insurance quotes?
im goin 2 b 19 & my current health insurance will exp. i need to find health insurance fast as well as as dentist insurance. sum ppl told me not 2 get eye insurance cuz payin da monthly payment vs. getting da benefit isn't worth it. meanin u pay more than u get out of it. but i want ur opinion as well sum other ppl told me 2 go 2 a hospital 2 ask sum ?'s of what health i should get, meanin like find out what im cover 4. like i don't want 2 pay hidden charges. like basically i need help cuz nobody is guidin me on what 2 do after im not cover. like im on my own.""
My car no longer runs. Should I cancel my insurance on it?
My friend suggestted that it might not be wise, because when I get another car in 5 months they will charge me more for insurance if I was not insured for a long period of time. His logic was that it's a red flag to insurance co. They think you were driving without insurance or totaled your car. Even though my car just died on it's own.""
Best Home/Condo Insurance Companies?
I am looking to obtain insurance for my condo in British Columbia, and was wondering if someone could recommend the best company to with. Currently I am just familiar with BCAA who ...show more""
Insurance rebate?
If you cancel your car insurance, do you get a rebate as you do with road tax?""
Will insurance cover transmission damage?
Someone stol my car I reported it the insurane company is saying my transmission is out will they cover the cost of this or say its normal wear and tear it was working when I was driving it
No Insurance!?
No Insurance!? How much do you think a tooth will cost to be pulled?
""Adverse price of insurance for 50cc moped, I'm 16?""
I'm 16 years old and going to take my cbt for a 50cc moped, what would be a rough estimate of the price of insurance yearly or monthly I would have to pay for it?""
Insurance and tickets?
I got pulled over for being on my cell phone but the cop gave me a ticket for not wearing my seat belt which is only $46, i can pay online, and i dont have to go to court. Will this ticket be reported to my insurance?""
Can i get my MOT done without insurance?
My car needs an MOT and right now its on a SORN because im waiting for my paycheck so I can get insurance, my question is as follows: i know that you need an MOT before you can insure your car but to get my car to its MOT I would have to have it insured? How does this work? can i drive to the garage without insurance and get away with it or is there some special policy I need to take out? Please help.""
How to get Public Liability Insurance?
Hi, so my friends and I are having a party in a month and we're considering holding it at a local school hall. I called the person in charge of organizing the hall hire and they said that I need public liability insurance to hire it out for the night. How do I go about getting the insurance and roughly how much will it cost? We wanted to hire the room for about four hours and use it to accommodate about 15 people. Simple answers would be best since I don't know all the fancy words describing finances and Insurance. Thank you!""
Should i get insurance for my first car? Where can i get CHEAP car insurance? I live in Aus.?
Should i get insurance for my first car? Where can i get CHEAP car insurance? I live in Aus. I am looking at buying a s13 non turbo at 11k. when i looked for a quote the minimum was like 5k which i do not have the money seeing as i am going to have to get a loan for my car.
Can I purchase life insurance for our family without a physical exam?
We have a new baby and we both need to be insured. Is it possible to purchase affordable life insurance without a physical exam?
Why are some people's health insurance rates going up?
I've heard a lot of stories about people's insurance rates doubling or tripling. My wife's insurance just went up. What's going on? I thought Obamacare was supposed to make insurance more affordable? http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/09/24/one-man-obamacare-nightmare/
Michigan Motorcycle Insurance?
I live in Michigan I only ride my motorcycle during the spring and summer, which comes out to be about 6 months of the year. the rest of the time the bike is stored, with no riders. My question is can I get some sort of insurance where I'm covered for six months and the rest of the time it in storage it's on a storage like insurance? I know you can in New Jersey because my friends have in however can you in Michigan? if so could you post a link or where you got this infor from so i can contact them further thank you""
Can i list my vehicle at another adress for insurance?
hi, i own a 2006 acura RSX-s and i live in the philadelphia suburbs. my insurance is quite PRICEY! any how, my father owns property in northern PA which is primarily farm land, and insurance would be alot cheaper if listed there. tho i dont live there, can i list my insurance there? is there anything illegal or could it hurt me? i see alot of people with New Jersey tags who live in PA to get cheaper Insurance. what do you suggest, and what would i have to do, change adress on D/L etc?""
Whats high mileage for an Infiniti G35?
I'm considering purchasing an infiniti g35. I'm looking at the 2004 and 2005 g35's and the ones in my price range typically range from 60-70k miles. Is this high mileage for an infiniti? How long do these cars last on average? Also I'm 20 years old; would this car have high insurance costs? Thank you!
Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?
.........and if so, roughly how much money would this cost per month?""
What would my allstate car insurance be?
im a 16 year old female. i went through driver's ed (so you're suppose to get a discount) and my mom had been a member of allstate for at least 10 years with no accidents or anything. so im wondering, about how much would MY car insurance be?
Is there a way to get inexpensive short term insurance for....?
An item like a video camera or video camera equipment. And say you wanted to rent them to people, is there a way to get insurance for those items while other people use them?""
Car insurance premium question UK?
OK, my question isn't nothing serious I paid 800-ish for my 1st year and 795 for 2nd year of me passing my test (I am 22yr old) and lived in the same year. Obviously in the two years I have changed my 1998 clio to a 2003 fiesta. Both my policies were TPFT. However my car insurance is due to expire in 2 months time and I have went on several insurers as well as gocompare etc and getting quoted 1495 cheapest and up to 3400 for my 2003 fiesta 1.4 why??????""
""Does anyone know of an auto insurance provider that does not require a credit check in Vancouver, WA?
I switched from Progressive to Allstate online about a month ago. I started the policy and paid the premium. Now I get a letter from Allstate saying they are unable to carry a policy for me due to my poor credit. I'm angry and totally disagree with my credit score having anything to do with my driving ability. I refuse to do business with any company that uses a credit score to determine auto insurance rates or availability.
Can I get fire/theft only car insurance in UK?
I currently pay around 1200 per year insurance on my new car. Recent job change though mean I only use it maybe 3 or 4 times a month, and with one day comprehensive insurance available from dayinsure.com just 11, thought it might save me some money just to insure the car the days I use it... IF theft insurance is cheap enough. When not in use the car is in my garage so not going to cause any third party damage to anyone..""
How much would car insurance and tax cost?
I was just wondering how much car insurance and tax and anything else i would have to pay other than the price of the vehicle would cost a 23 year old in England on an Automatic Chevrolet Camaro, Automatic Range Rover Sport or an Automatic Ford Mustang GT.""
What is the best health insurance in california?
sould i go with the one that has deductible, and what it turns out that i have a cancer , m'i gonna be covered. i've been having this buzzing ear ( left) for few months and now i get dizzy when i look up and i started to feel oressure in my head and light headache. my emplyer's insurance start in 2 months and i need to be checked now, and i don't qualifie for medi cal any suggestion , advice?? thanks""
Which Insurance company is better to take Mediclaim cover?
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Affordable car insurance for teen drivers?
I am currently 17 and I will have my license for a year on April 28th. I had one minor accident in October but I finally found a car that I can afford payments on that is a really nice car but all the insurance companies are giving me rates over $200 that I can't afford because I don't have the money to pay that and a car payment. Is there anyway I can get the car and get low insurance rates?
Individual health insurance plan for college student?
I have social anxiety disorder and am going to visita doctor to get meds. I am new to the whole healthcare thing so I have s few questions. If I were to sign up for a health insurance plan now, wouldthey cover my docyor visits? What about meds? Can you reccommend some good individual health insurance coverages. I am mainly worried about doctor visits costs I assume they will be monthly my meds I can probably pay for myself Also do they have monthly payment plans for doctor visits for those without insurance""
First time insurance on following cars?
im 17 and looking for my first car at the moment as i just passed recently. ive looked at a few but when i do insurance quotes on the net i get some crazy quotes like 5000 for a 2004 fiat punto 1.2. i no insurance is expensive for first timers and being a male, and 17, its even more. however all my frineds who have cars pay way less, eg my friend also 17 and first car has a 1.6L vw polo 1998 and he pays only 1,500 also another has a 2004 punto 1.2 and pays 1,700. another has corsa 2005 1.4 and pays about 2000 all above are fully comp and with them as first and only driver on policy. who is the best company for my age and experience group. also whatinsurance prices can i expecct for following cars, if you know or have one etc.. live in a good, low crime area and it will be garaged at night so insurance should be lower with this. corsa polo punto clio 206 fiesta all from about 2000- 2005 plates thanks""
Will my car insurance premium go down in price when i pay off my car?
I'm not sure if it's even a factor in the price of auto insurance premium but I'm getting close to paying off my car and would like to know. Thanks!
Will I go to jail for not having health insurance?
Will I go to jail for not having health insurance?
Motorcycle insurance cost?
I was in an aciident a year ago it was my fault. I was driving a truck. Now that I'm 21 I want a cruiser such as the boulevard or vulcan, maybe even a shadow. I would like to know will my insurance be high? I don't have a license to drive one yet. I will be taking a class so I can learn the basice then buy a beater to learn to ride better before I get what I want. It will most likely just to get to work and school.""
Does anybody know of a company that will insure me daily on hire and reward insurance?
I want to run a one vehicle WAV (wheel chair accessible vehicle for disabled people) car hire/rental business serving Hertfordshire the customer would hire the car and arrange for a person to drive it for them. On the odd occasion the hirer does not have anybody to drive the car for them they might want me to drive for them I have been told to do this I would need a private vehicle hire licence (mini cab drivers licence) also hire and reward insurance along with a mini cab office operators licence and the vehicle would need to be plated (tested) This is not a problem except for the hire and reward insurance which would be about 3000 per year and would not be cost effective for the amount of driving I would be doing (I would probably only be driving a customer 1 day per week). Does anybody know of a company that will insure me daily on hire and reward insurance?
Car Insurance Rates By City?
Where can I find statistics that show the average car insurance rates for that city or town. I am looking to invest in some property, not far from Metropolitan New York, and became interested in knowing. Currently where I live and at my age, 20, insurance for me is in the proximity of $5,000. Which I do not intend on paying. Thanks, and information or suggestions are welcome""
About how long does it take to get plates for a new car through insurance company?
I just bought a new car and i have no plates for it. How long will it take for me to get the plates if I'll be registering through my new insurance company in MA?
Should a 22 year old buy life insurance?
Okay, my friend who is 22 years old has a dead end job does not have a family of his own and is still attending college was asking me if he should buy life insurance, I think he shouldn't but what those everyone else think. Let me know""
Car leasing and insurance question?
Okay, so I'm 20 years old and in need of a new car. I'm looking towards leasing the 2013 Honda civic. The car itself is going to be under my fathers name, since he is the one who will be taking out the loan, however I will be the actual driver. However, my mom is the one who has taken care of my car insurance for the last 3 years. I am listed as a driver on her policy. I've heard that the person whose name is attached to the car MUST have the car insured in their own name, but my parents are MARRIED and my mom takes care of the insurance. Is it possible for me to have the car in my dad's name, and the insurance in my moms? Thanks in advance for your help !! I sincerely appreciate it.""
""If a driver dies, does his family's insurance go up?""
I know it seems like a stupid question, but think about it. I share my insurance with my family, I'm added as an occasional driver to keep my costs low. If I were to die (Heaven forbid) in a car wreck, would my family's insurance go up? I'm just curious, and we are through Country if that makes any difference.""
Motorcycle insurance for a 17 year old in california?
hey im 17 years old, and got the money together for my first bike. i went down to the dealership and was about to buy the bike when i found out insurance cost like 4k for full coverage. i want full coverage but dont wanna pay through the nose for it. i have not owned a bike before and i really want one, but im not sure if i can aford to. so my question is does anyone know what i should do to resolve my problem? preferably recomendations of good insurance comannys. thanks so much""
Hu is the cheapest car insurance for dr10?
Hu is the cheapest car insurance for dr10?
""Which car insurance companies are the cheapest in New York State( queens, new york) in particular?""
I just bought a new car and am hoping to get car insurance and register it. I am curious what the cheapest companies are. I just got a quote from Esurance.com, and am curious if there are other cheaper companies. I am 22 and have a bachelors degree and a job. I want to insure a mazda protege hatchback. Please let me know what your experiences have been.""
Car insurance hidden from family?
Im 17 buying a volkswagen golf 1.6 with my hard earned money working for 2 years now need a car but parents are against buying a car but i need it for uni Ill park the car down my road and everything will be legal and i was wondering if i get a insurance and a car can i hide from family so i can i tell my policy not to send letter or anything they can only contact me by email or by my phone also so give me a few options i wanna do the legal way only and from UK. Or can give them my actually address but tell them to send the letters to my friends house so that no one in family receives any information about my car what so ever thanks. I can prove my address not trying to get a cheap insurance just dont want family knowing also suggest any legal methods thanks
Car insurance rates for teens?
I just got my drivers license a little more than a month ago. My parents are telling me that they're going to wait for another year before they add me to their insurance policy because it'll be less expense by then. Is this true? I also read somewhere that the earlier you add a teen to your insurance policy, the rates will lower quicker because they insurance company know that i'll have some experience by then. So if my parents add me to their insurance policy now, would it be lower in a year compared to them waiting a year for them to add me?""
Where can I get cheap car insurance?
I'm going to be sixteen soon and my parents are still thinking about whether or not they'll let me drive. But I really need this 'cuz my parents can never pick me up on time after school and it's too far to walk. (No bus) So, I just wanted to know what's the cheapest car insurance there is for 16 year old drivers. I heard you could get discounts for getting strait A's (which I do), taking driver's ed, and having an older car (which I will). Thanks in advance!""
What would my allstate car insurance be?
im a 16 year old female. i went through driver's ed (so you're suppose to get a discount) and my mom had been a member of allstate for at least 10 years with no accidents or anything. so im wondering, about how much would MY car insurance be?
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/coseco-insurance-company-beland-rajka"
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Is Mercury Insurance good?
"Is Mercury Insurance good?
cause i know its really cheap
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I am 18 and live in Florida. I don't have my drivers license because my parents say I have to have a job to pay for insurance..Ive been looking for a job for a while now but no one seems to be hiring in my area. I know my parents will pay for my insurance if it was cheaper..right now its around $200. I read that if you're driving someone else's vehicle then you don't need insurance as long as the owner of the vehicle has insurance..can someone please explain this to me? Will I be able to drive without insurance?
Cant afford health insurance. can new york child support make me get health insurance?
my husband has another child in new york and we recently moved to pa and there trying to get him to get health insurance that he cannot afford. Can they do that or can he call them and tell them he cant afford it. He doesnt even have medical for our children or himself.
Pregnancy and insurance?
I am five weeks pregnant and do not have any insurance. I cannot afford too expensive insurance. Is there any other option for low-cost coverage during pregnancy? Does anybody know what kind benefits California state offer? I live a few years in the United States, so I am not familiar with types insurance. Thank you for any suggestions and help.""
""If you can't afford car insurance, then you can't legally drive. If you can't legally drive, you can't...?""
If you can't afford car insurance, then you can't legally drive. If you can't legally drive, you can't get to your job. If you can't get to your job, you lose your income. How is this fair????""
Rental car insurance?
Recently, I had a car accident. The car I drove was fine however the back of right bumper of the parked car was cracked and torn off. I was reversing parking and accidentally pushed the gas pedal hard. I talked to the owner of car and he said he will contact his insurance. The car I was driving was a rental car from hertzondemand.( Insurance was covered in the rate) Hertz said I have to submit the collision report from police station. I am seriously horrified of thousands of dollar that I probably have to pay. I do not own a car nor automobile insurance. But I do have an amex gold rewards which has Damage Insurance but I dont think it covers for the car I hit as well. I have been reading XII.LIABILITY PROTECTION under terms and condition over and over again but it gets me more confusing.https://www.hertz247.com/alberta/en-...20of%20Alberta Am I gonna pay for $250 and rest of them will be taken cared by hertz? Can someone clarify XII.LIABILITY PROTECTION?""
Cheapest car insurance companies??? help?
Me and my bf r trying to move in but his insurance rate is up the roof, he had a terrible car accident in nov. 2 speeding, 2 reckless, 1 failure to stop a light. I know its a lot but ...show more""
Best ways to lower the car insurance for a 17 year old male?
Hiya. :) And yeah, this is a lovely situation, lol. :P I'm aware that no matter how I look at this, the price is going to be a punch to the head. But I'm in need of a car ...show more""
Is there any user friendly and cheap motorcycles out there?
Hi, I'm 17 years old and looking to get a motorcycle. I have good grades and will only drive a motorcycle when the conditions are right. Like weather, cars on the road Sat. Sun. which has less cars, and going to school and to work. I don't care if I die and I'm not afraid to die. I have $7,000 saved up in the bank and would like to buy a Ninja 250 for $3,500 -2008. Plus $400 for gear and classes. I will get my driver's license this December and will take the MSD courses in spring of 2010. I can't find any used or cheap ninja 250's around my area and I think I would rather go stright to the dealer rather then the seller because of too much red tape and work. I think my insurance will be cheaper because I will ride only to school and work and I have good grades. Even though I am young. SO, is there any place I can find any user friendly bikes or cheap ninja 250's?""
""50cc bike insurance, need help!?
Well i need to get a bike to get around more.. and its like a 2000 reg bike that i found which is in pretty good condition.. and i've got my provisional etc.. and my CBT but the insurance still comes out as 560!? is there anyway of getting it lower?!
How much would the insurance be for a Porsche Cayenne Diesel a year?
The insurance would be for a female driver with over 25 years of experience. How much would it cost a year, and also how much would the monthly diesel bill be? Thanks""
Insurance question on a 2008 Hyundai Tiburon GT?
I'm a 16, almost 17 year old male. I got a citation in late May. I have a suspended license until November 3rd, my birthday. how much monthly, and yearly will insurance cost me on this car, roughly? I live in Ohio.""
""Where are some companies in Memphis,Tn I can find cheap auto insurance?""
Where are some companies in Memphis,Tn I can find cheap auto insurance?""
Low car insurance for new driver age 37 who has just passed. I live in the U.K.?
Can anyone give me advice where to get the cheapest car insurance in the U.K. I have just past my test and I am 37 years of age. I am looking to get a 1.3 engine. The chaepest quote I have recieved is 789.
Is Mercury Insurance good?
cause i know its really cheap
Illegal car insurance?
My EX boyfriend went behind mine and my moms back and illegal put insurance on his car in my mothers name. I guess he knows a employee at a insurance automotive and illegally put it in her name without her consent. His friend who was driving the car hit some car today and called my mom and told her everything and now she wants to claim fraud. Who gets in trouble? My ex boyfriend for doing it illegally? The employee who let it happen? His friend who hit the car? Or my mom because they may not believe he did it illegally? BTW; my ex boyfriend owes money to his insurance thats why he couldnt put it in his name
Can I insure a motorcycle at age 16.?
I am 16 and my parents are not ok with me getting a motorcycle. They were, but now they're not. I have a motorcycle permit and want to buy a motorcycle and I want to know if I can insure it with just that. Can I? EXPERTS ONLY""
What are my options to get my car back from the insurance company?
I got into an accident about a week ago. the front passenger side was damaged. the insurance company told me today that it was a write off. they wouldn't be able to fix it, which is complete bull. It is a 98 Honda Civic with 200,00 km on it, and they are giving me $2800. What can i possibly do? Can I get my car back and repair it myself (by myself i mean a bodyshop i will take it too out of my own pocket)? What happens in that case? Will they give me any money or would i have to pay them?""
Would a 4 door suv be cheaper on insurance than a 2 door suv?
well called an insurance company the other day, the person on the phone said it doesnt matter how many doors there is on it, it depends on the make and model.I dont know if she just thought i was talking about a pick up truck or what but shes has me confused i appreciate the help.""
Functions of auto insurance and coverage characteristics?
I'm doing this for school, and she only posted a table. We have to figure out what are functions of all insurance and coverage characteristics of all. I may be overlooking this a little to much. But if someone could help me out that would be great and I appreciate it.""
Driving a car with no insurance and no plates help?
im going to buy a car tonight, can i get in trouble for driving it to my house with no plates and insurance""
""What are the monthly/weekly costs of running a car? (insurance, registration, petrol)?""
im looking at buying a car, im 17 i have had my licence for about 3 months and i want to know how much i should be expecting to pay for insurance, registration, petrol etc, for a 4 cylinder proberly auto and ranging from 1990 to 2000 year. thanks :)""
How much are typical monthly home owners insurance rates?
i am doing a school project and the only way to figure it out is to call and talk to a reprisentitive, and i would really rather not. I just need a ballpark figure... $500? $1000? any ideas?""
Minimum insurance for heating/plumbing business in Ca?
What is the minimum insurance that an owner of a heating/plumbing business must have in California?
Car insurance for married couple!?
Hey there! My wife and I both used to have our own car insurances until a few months ago when we decided to drop hers and add her to my policy to save some money. She got into an accident the other day; everyone's okay and it hasn't been determined who was at fault yet. I was wondering if this is going to affect MY driving record as well considering that we are sharing a car insurance policy? I realize that our premium might go up but I guess I want to know if the premium would go up even if we decided to get her off of this policy and find her a separate one with another insurance company. Do insurance companies look at which driver and which vehicle (we each have our own car) was involved in the accident or does it all just go by the policy number?
Use my insurance to pay for high repair costs?
My vehicle was vandalized and due to that I have Many scratches and dents to the sides of the car. My insurance estimate 2100$ worth of repairs in which I pay 300$. Initially the representative told me that my insurance would not go up monthly because I don't have a.bad history of claims n the incident was not my fault. But that was before they appraised the car so now they would have to give me 1800$ and im.not sure whether I should go through the insurance or not I don't want to affect my monthly payments. Any suggestions?
Florida Health Insurance Question?
A friend of mine has Blue Cross Blue Shield through his employer in Florida. His premium is a whopping $600.00 a month. He wanted to lower his premium and his employer says he can't change his insurance plan. He wanted to cancel his insurance and his boss says he can't, unless he fires him. I told him it sounded as though his boss is ripping him off. He contacted Blue Cross Blue Shield and they told him his boss has the right to charge ANY amount he wishes. They would give him no information about his premiums and referred him back to his employer. My friend doesn't even remember if he ever got his paper policy. All the links to write the insurance commissioner has not worked. Can anyone tell me out there if it isn't true that it is anyone's civil right to cancel an insurance policy and what my friend might do next?""
AFFORDABLE auto insurance for 18 year old?
I am 18 years old. I live with my mom and younger non driving brother. My mother does not have her licence because she is not well and my little brother is to young to drive. I am ...show more
What is 20 year term insurance?
Is it a good kind of insurance. I will be 49 in two months. Does it mean if I die outside of the 20 years it doesn't pay off?
Is my credit card insurance enough for car rental?
I do not live in the US and do not have a car insurance policy in the US. I will rent a car when I visit and use my credit card to do so, but is the coverage that comes with the credit card use enough? Should I also purchase the rental company's policy?""
Question about teenager insurance?
if i put my son on my insurance policy and he gets into an accident with his own car does my insurance go up. or does his when he turns 18. also how much? would it double?
My husband needs life insurance but has diabeties?
My husband needs life insurance about 50,000 but want payments cheap payments 40.00 monthly. We been trying to find some life insurance but some dont take with diabeties. My husband doesnt take insulin. Hes ranging about 100 to 180 every month on sugar level.. Any ideas on life insurance we should quilified!!!""
Is there any site you can go to and find how much car insurance will be?
i am trying to get a 1997 chevy caviler the insurance will be in my name the car i have right now its in my stepdads name i need to find out about how much ill be payin car insurance so i know if i can afford the car or not
What kind of deaths does life insurance cover?
Would it cover something like a heart attack or stroke?
2008 Pontiac Torrent WRECKED PRICE ??? Insurance adjustor question?
I have a 2008 Pontiac Torrent that was recently hit while park heres a list of what was damaged Rear Axel is twisted all rear suspension QuarterPanel Rocker Panel Tail ...show more
Cost of insurance for 2nd gen Toyota Mr2?
Would you pay a higher insurance on this car than a normal car? what about a turbo? I got an online insurance quote and it was about $600/year for liability and $1000/year for collision coverage, does this seem like a fair price? I'm almost 19 years old and have a clean drivers record.""
I am trying to find the type of car with the cheapest car insurance for my age and details?
Where online can i find details on lots of cars as gocompare.com etc... need you provide details on a certain car
What do you pay for auto insurance?
Do you consider it reasonable or not? thanks for answering. Please let me know where you are from. just looking at the statewide quotes.
""Car licence ,where to get a cheaper car insurance?""
Hi there, Looking for cheap insurance? Im 17 near 18 ;) yesterday I past my exam and now Ive got the licence, but insurance is so expensive for me. Ive done the compare and the result was 17 000 for a year :( Please any advice to make it cheaper? Thank you all in advance. Cheers and have a good day.""
Buying a new/used car & insurance?
Okay, if you are buying a new/used car will they refuse to sell it to you if you have a warrant? How about insurance will the insurance company refuse to insure you & your vehicle if you have a warrant?""
Is Mercury Insurance good?
cause i know its really cheap
Why does insurance cost less for pleasure use rather than commuting to and from work?
Why does insurance cost less for pleasure use rather than commuting to and from work?
Insurance cost/ car cost?
ok i live in canada, and i am saveing up for my first car, what is the cheapest car i can get, cheap but still a good car, a standared car not a stick. and how much insurance will i have to pay for this car. no i only got pulled over once but that was 2 years ago, will that take an effect for my insurance .........""
Can you get insurance on a car if the owner of the vehical doesnt allow it?
Can you get insurance on a car if the owner of the vehical doesnt allow it?
Maturnity insurance?
do anyone know of any insurance that cover maturnity that will not cost an arm and a leg. my husband had good insurance and they had a lay off and friday is out last day with that insurance so does anyone know of any insurance for maturnity coverage that would be a great help.
""If someone gets in an auto accident with someone else's car, whose insurance is notified?
Mother and daughter have auto insurance together. Daughter lets her boyfriend drive and he rear ends a car and does very little damage (broken tail light) to other car. He has his own insurance for his vehicle. Which insurance do you call? No accident report was done by police.
Insurance for a Range Rover Sport?
I'm turning 16 in about two years, and i was thinking about getting a 2010-2012 RR Sport Supercharged. I was wondering how much it would cost for me to get insured. Do you have a range of what it would be around? My parents are already letting me practice driving and stuff. The car would be around $30,000-$45,000. My family is in the upper-middle class. So we're not all that rich. I will be working by that time and paying the car off.""
""How much could be the average insurance for a SMART car in Germany, Freiburg?""
I want to buy a used car, from 2002 or something like that. I need a small car, like Smart For Two.""
Speeding ticket in a rental car raises my insurance?
Hey forum, I got a 34mph-over speeding ticket in some tiny texas town in my rental. I didn't give the cop my insurance b/c the car was insured through my credit card. How will this affect my Texas Farmers insurance rate? Thanks heaps""
What is the average cost of mobile home insurance in ohio?
I'm thinking about moving to Gnadehutten Ohio into a 3 bedroom mobile home, but I am worried the home owners insurance will cost me an arm and maybe a leg????""
Can i get insurance on my car with out a licence?
Im 18..and i have a car..i dont have a licence yet...only my permit..so can i still get insurance on the car with out a licence?
""In California, are you required to have health insurance for your child if your job offers family insurance?""
1. In California, are you required to have health insurance for your child if your job offers family health insurance (medical, dental and vision) for you and your child? 2. does the court require you to sign up your child through your workplace's health insurance (family plan)? note: I am a noncustodial parent""
Looking for good car for insurance?
Im looking to get a new car but i was wondering if there was a website that listed how much insurance might run me. dont really need exact priceing just looking for ballpark figuer.
Does auto insurance.... ?
if lets say i hit a car with my car and the other guy claims the accident does the my auto insurance investigate the accident at all or do they just fix the car without asking questions??? im comfused
What kind of insurance do used car dealerships have and how much does it cost?
I looking to start up a small used car dealership. What type of insurance do I need and what would it cost me Im only looking to open a small lot with about 5-8 cars at a time thanks
Getting a ticket for no insurance?
how much does it cost for getting a ticket for no insurance in california ?
Car Insurance Issues?
So I've just passed my test, looking to purchase insurance on a car (peugeout 1.1 fever) and the prices they're, sky high! My dad currently has a car with 5years ncb. I figured that if he ends his current policy on his car (which he paid annual for) and begins a new policy for my car using his 5years ncb it would be all cheaper. Then if he started from scratch on his car again. So basically hes ending his policy in order to transfer the ncb onto my car, him being the main, and me being an additional driver and starting from scratch again on his original car. Only query i have is, Is it legal? Is any part of the above illegal? Thanks guys for the help :D""
Affordable and good quality health insurance?
I'm looking into purchasing some health insurance. I'm 20 years old with no major health concerns. I'm thinking about Allstate but I hear it's around $100 a month.
How much will my car insurance cost?
I am seventeen years old, I live in New Jersey and my car is a two door 1997 Honda Civic EX. I am turning eighteen in two months. Which car insurance providers will be the most likely to give me good deals, and roughly how much would I be paying?""
Looking for individual/family health insurance in Arizona...?
I am a stay-at-home mom (in Arizona) and I need to get health insurance. My boyfriend (and our toddler) have insurance through his employer but it's like $400/month for just the two of them and it doesn't cover much. To add me to his plan we would have to get married first and it would be over $200/month more than he's already paying now. So that's over $600/month for insurance that doesn't cover much. It doesn't seem like a very good deal at all. So I'm looking for a health insurance plan that would take all three of us as an unmarried family, for less than $600/month. So far I don't see any that cover maternity, and we do want to have another child within the next year or two... We don't get sick often, but our baby needs her regular checkups and vaccinations, we need our regular checkups, vision and dental, and of course catastrophic coverage in the event something really bad were to happen. I don't see much purpose in me having insurance for myself, a young woman, that doesn't cover maternity or birth control, other than for the sake of catastrophic coverage. But if need be I could get my own insurance plan for maternity/birth control/whatever if I could find an affordable one, and they can be on their own plan that doesn't cover maternity. Blue Cross Blue Shield has some cheap rates but they don't cover maternity. Neither does Aetna. Cinergy is too expensive for just me, let alone my family too. So my question(s) to you specifically are: Can you suggest any health insurance companies that cover maternity? Can you suggest any that are affordable? Can you suggest any that would insure us as a family even though we are unwed?""
How can I lower my car insurance rates?
I'm 17, and got a car a little over a month ago. My car insurance (with Gieco) is $250 a month. My mom's is $100. I'm on her plan, or something. I never took drivers ed (and with two jobs, school full time, and online classes, I most likely never will). I do have all A's though, does anywhere give a discount for that? I've got no tickets or accidents. Please help me find something cheaper!""
Is it true that the older you get the more car insurance you pay?
My father lives in california and received his car insurance bill , he's 80 yr old. within the last year never received a ticket of any kind or was in an accident. and now he's paying more. Does that sound right?""
I applied for Car Insurance and...?
They asked me if there any other drivers in the house. I told them my parents and my older sister have insurance.. I am 24 and they said thanks for telling us? The question is does that mean they can once in a while borrow my car and they are covered?
How much would motorcycle insurance be for a 17 year old?
I was looking at either a 2011 Kawasaki Ninja 650R, a 2011 Yamaha FZ6R, or a 2009 Suzuki SV650SF. I live about 50 miles away from Washington D.C. in the suburbs. My grades are A's and B's and I'm in 2 AP classes. I've never had any traffic violations for a car, not that it really matters when dealing with a motorcycle.""
Immediate Medical Insurance Help Required?
Hi I am Rishika from Bangalore. I am new to this place. I had got a medical insurance done for my parents but It got expired one month back. Unfortunately, my mom is due for a surgery in the next week and I am looking for any quick medical Insurance help that I can get. I understand its too late to get a medical insurance done. I can arrange for the medical expenses by hand as of now. Is anyone aware of any policies from which I can reimburse the amount later. Or is anyone aware of any medical insurance people from whom I can make a deal and make it a cashless transaction using the insurance policy?? IM confused like hell. Please please help :(((((( :( Yours, Rishika""
Classic car insurance?
I'm a young driver, no previous accidents, honor student, plan on driving something close to, if not exactly, a 1965 Type 2 Volkswagen Bus and can't find much information on insurance. I've queried my insurance agent, but I'm a bit impatient for results, haha, and also I'd like to see what other people with classic cars have done about this dilemma. :) Thanks for reading.""
Is Mercury Insurance good?
cause i know its really cheap
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-title-question-zerneisen-sasha"
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Setting New Financial Goals and Still Enjoying the Journey
When I started this blog in 2011, I had only one goal: to get out of debt. For the first time in my life, I started tracking my spending, so I could see where my money was going. After a few months, I taught myself how to budget, so I could have a better understanding of what my overall spending added up to. As time went on, I naturally became more frugal and put every extra penny I could towards my debt. In the end, I paid off close to $30,000 and reached my goal in two years. That was nearly four years ago, and I haven’t had any big financial goals since. I repeat: I haven’t had any big financial goals in four years.
Of course, I have set some goals here and there. I did a two-year shopping ban to prove I could save more money and discovered I could live on half my income. I also saved a $10,000 emergency fund before I quit my job, and have maintained that savings + built up a large buffer in my chequing account since then. So, it’s not like I’ve been doing terrible things with my money or throwing it all away. I’m still debt-free, my net worth is currently $110,000 CAD (~$84,000 USD today) and I’m happy! But I haven’t been working towards anything for a while…
Part of the problem is that I haven’t had many of the traditional goals you “should” have at this stage in life. Homeownership is extremely expensive where I live, so I used to assume I would never buy (or at least wouldn’t buy until I had a partner to share that cost with) and therefore didn’t stress about saving for a down payment right away. I already own a car outright, so didn’t need to save for that either. And I have no desire to ever have/pay for a big wedding. Be with someone for life – sure. Have a big wedding – no, thank you. (And I would prioritize buying a home over having a wedding any day of the week.)
Another part of the problem is that I didn’t get to do the one thing I really wanted (travel) until I was in my late twenties. Before that, I had always been in debt. I have no one to blame except myself, for that. But once I became debt-free, I wanted to go wherever my budget allowed. Yet another part of the problem is that becoming self-employed changed all my strategies, and especially changed how I felt about money. Yes, whether we like to admit it or not, money is super emotional. And even though I’ve made a good income every year, I haven’t felt great about money (and will talk more about why below).
But one of the biggest underlying problems I have personally been dealing with has been the blasé attitude I’ve had about money since embracing minimalism. The first year of the shopping ban taught me so many lessons, one of which was that I didn’t need to earn as much money as I thought I did. I will forever be grateful for this lesson, as it helped me escape the rat race of thinking I needed to earn more money simply so I could buy more stuff and live a “bigger and better” life. It turns out, when you want less stuff, you need less money. This statement rang true for me then and is still true for me today.
However, there are also a lot of posts in the minimalism space that reflect another statement: money doesn’t matter. This message is at the core of posts that discuss why money shouldn’t be the focus of people’s lives, and why we shouldn’t tie our happiness to how much we earn or how much is in our bank accounts. Again, I agree with some of the sentiments in that statement: life is certainly about more than money, and there are far greater priorities and purposes than chasing dollars. But money DOES matter, friends. And it’s important to understand the role it plays in your life.
In the past few years, I feel as though I lost sight of this fact. I stopped budgeting, and instead only tracked my spending monthly. And because I was still able to have all the things I wanted, I thought this was ok. What I have realized is that the only people who don’t have to budget are people who have a lot of money. And it may look like I’m “living the dream” sometimes, but I am self-employed – not retired at 31. If I want to live and eat and have any fun, I have to work. And if I want to retire comfortably one day, I have to set financial goals and work towards those too. It’s not an option, it’s a fact.
So, while I still don’t have grand plans to buy a home or another car or pay for a big wedding, there are two financial goals I want to work on this year. Both will allow me to live the life I want today, while saving for the life I want in the future.
Goal #1: Cut Back on Expenses and Run a Lean Business
At the end of every month, I have a calendar event pop-up that reminds me to update my invoices and expenses in FreshBooks. Throughout the year, I also review various invoice and expense reports, and check my profit and loss statement to make sure things look ok. In 2016, I felt good about my numbers each month, until I got to the end of year and looked at the total amount I had spent on my business. My expenses added up to exactly $14,000 – that’s $1,166/month (which is more than my rent). The number shocked me, but it also didn’t surprise me…
The largest expenses were: printing and shipping of Mindful Budgeting 2017 Planners, hiring freelancers, travel and a long list of monthly services. I also discovered that the same way friends who love to shop will happily convince you to shop with them, business owners who believe every dollar spent on your business is an investment will help you justify expenses. I don’t necessarily regret any of the money I spent last year, but that also doesn’t mean I want to spend that amount every year going forward. Yes, expenses can be written off on your taxes, but you still need to spend that money first!
My goal for 2017 is to cut my business expenses in half. I’m not entirely sure it’s doable, because I don’t know what the second half of the year is going to look like yet. But I’m going to start by auditing my expenses and cutting out anything I don’t absolutely need. My travel budget is being slashed (only going to FinCon). I have also cancelled subscriptions to a few monthly services. And I’m not buying any online courses, until I complete all the ones I have paid for in the past. You could say my business is on a shopping ban. If I need something, I will pay for it. If I don’t, it’s cut.
The “why” behind this goal isn’t just about the numbers (though cutting back and saving more is always great) – it’s to press pause and make sure I’m spending money for the right reasons. I don’t want to buy anything if I don’t know when I’ll actually use it. I also want to push myself to do more work, rather than assign it out or assume an online service can take care of everything. If it really can help me create a better system, great. And if I spend more than $7,000 on my business, that’s ok. I simply want to get to the end of the year and feel good about how every dollar was allocated.
Goal #2: Recommit to Budgeting and Saving for Retirement
I think I’ve made it pretty clear already that I’m ready for budgeting to be part of my life again. In 2016, I added up numbers at the end of each month and tracked my net worth, but it just wasn’t the same as setting targets and monitoring my progress. There are some mental hurdles for me to work through, as I still don’t find it easy to budget with irregular income, but that’s a topic for another post. For now, just know that I’m back to tracking my spending every day (for both personal and business expenses) and adding up my numbers every week, and I plan to do this all year.
As part of my budgeting strategy, perhaps the greatest mental hurdle I’ve been trying to work through has been how much to save for retirement. When I had a full-time job, it was so easy. I brought home $4,000/month, invested $800-$1,000 for retirement, then spent/saved/travelled with the rest. Now that I’m self-employed, my income is all over the place. Some months, I collect as little as $1,500. One month last year, I collected over $20,000. When it’s so irregular, how do you project your income and decide how much to invest!? This is something I’ve been battling with since I quit my job in June 2015.
It’s not as simple as coming up with a goal of saving 10% of your gross income. To show you why, I created a spreadsheet with three scenarios, so you can see how much of a difference earning extra money makes. After setting aside 30% of my income for taxes, paying for business stuff, paying for living expenses and travelling (the only number I “inflate” with my income), the amounts leftover that I could invest for retirement change drastically. If I earned $52,000, I could only invest $2,400 – or 4.62% of my income. But if I earned $75,000, I could potentially invest $14,500 – or 19.33% of my income.
Side note: I made $75,000 in 2016 and did not invest $14,500. Remember those big business expenses? Cut the $7,000 I want to save this year and that’s what I invested last year ($7,500 or 10% of gross income).
The biggest problem isn’t just projecting and coming up with the magic number, but feeling comfortable investing when you don’t know how much you’re going to earn in future months. I used to think this was just an issue for me right before tax time, because I often find I hoard money in case I owe more than I expected. But it’s actually an issue for me year-round. I’ve found I’m reluctant to setup automatic savings programs, because I’m always worried I’ll run out of money and will need what I invested. This means I have only been making a few lump sum deposits each year, and I don’t like it.
The obstacle is that I’m stuck in this scarcity mindset of feeling like I’m going to run out of money. It has never happened before. I’ve made $65,000-$75,000/year for the past few years. If history repeats itself, I’ll stay in this income bracket for a while and should be able to save at least 10% of my gross income for retirement, if not more. My goal for this month is to do some projections and run numbers through various retirement calculators. And my goal for the year is to setup an automatic savings program I’m comfortable with, and consistently check-in with it to see if/when I can invest more.
So, the “why” behind this goal isn’t just about the numbers either (though I do want to save a bit more than I have been) – it’s to push past this huge mental block and hopefully embrace an abundance mindset, so I can stop acting out of fear and start believing I’m in control of my future.
Now, I realize setting financial goals doesn’t sound like it lines up with the often peaceful messages of being more present and living an intentional life, but I would argue that being mindful with your money is an important part of the puzzle. That doesn’t mean chasing a higher income or buying bigger homes or better cars or more stuff. But money does matter. It puts a roof over your head, shoes on your feet and food in your stomach. If you earn enough, it also allows you to budget for a few of the things you want. And if you earn more, it gives you the opportunity to set yourself up for a comfortable future.
This month’s slow living experiment is simply meant to serve as another reminder of how important it is to hit pause on what you’re doing and question if it still serves you. If it doesn’t, it’s important to figure out what action will. I won’t attach my self-worth to my salary or my net worth. I refuse to set income goals that serve as vanity metrics, the same way I refuse to perform whatever tactics will get me the most followers on social media. Life is about more than any of those numbers. But money does matter, and I believe there’s a way to set financial goals and still enjoy the journey.
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Extra Reading
How I Cut My Business Expenses by Nearly Half – Careful Cents
Minimalism vs. Earning More Money – The Wild Wong
Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness, Neither Does Poverty – The Minimalists
The Minimalist Guide to Saving Money – Rowdy Kittens
The Minimalists’ Guide to Setting and Achieving Goals – Anuschka Rees
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Steven Caulker:’ I’ve sat here for years detesting myself … This year was almost the end’
The QPR defender talks powerfully about his strives with mental illness, his addictions to gamble and boozing and why he is thankful still to be alive
Steven Caulker has a anecdote to tell and, as hard as it is to hear, it is best plainly to listen. His stream of consciousness veers from scoring on his England debut less than five years ago and the stimulate at potential being realised to the frightful mental health issues a matter that have almost intention it all in the period since. A actor who, from the outside, sounded sanctified with geniu and opportunity are speaking about frantic nervousnes and self-loathing.
He envisaged killing himself in his darkest minutes with his route one of self-destruction. Tries at escapism overhead him hundreds of thousands of pounds, payments frittered away in casinoes. Then came the drinking aimed at counting the pain. The 25 -year-old sees himself remembering the times spent in custody watching CCTV footage of his misdemeanour, his advocate at his back, and not recognising the vile person on the screen.
Football is still coming to periods with mental illness and Caulker, an international and a last-place dawdle reminder at Queens Park Rangers of financially foolish days as a Premier League club, has been an easy target. He is not was striving to make excuses or acquire sympathy. These are details he detects unpleasant to recount. Ive sat here for years detesting myself and never understood why I couldnt merely is just like everybody else, he says. This time was almost the end. I appeared for large-scale stages “there werent” light-headed at the end of the passageway. And hitherto “hes not” situated a bet since December, or touched booze since early March. The mending process that can rehabilitate him to the top level is well under way, with this interview, one he strove out, potentially another step on the road to recovery.
A little under a year ago Caulker had spoken to the Guardian about a life-changing week spent in Sierra Leone, of humbling yet stimulating charity work with ActionAid that had added him with a feeling of view. He returned to be galvanised under Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink at Loftus Road and, having wasted the previous season on lend at Southampton and Liverpool unfulfilling stints which fuelled his latent anxieties was ready to give his all. Early season executions against Leeds and Cardiff showed confidence had been rebuilt, reinforce for a summer of incessant fitness work.
The trigger that would send him spiralling to rock bottom would be injury. He rent his groin at Barnsley and played in pain for weeks, dreading a sorcery back in reclamation, before succumbing to an associated hip ailment. I owed it to QPR to try, he says, but I was naive contemplation I could still play with the snap. He has not played since last-place October, with the period differentiated by personal ferment and, only of late, resuscitation. Talking publicly, he indicated, may point younger musicians towards attempting assistant if they find themselves stepping the same street, or knowing the same feel of desertion, in a harsh manufacture. The real hope is the employ, as intrepid as it is, may eventually support more cathartic for Caulker himself.
He recognises his football ability as a gift but too a curse. It took him from Sunday League at 15 into the Premier League four years later, to the 2012 Olympics with Great Britain and into Roy Hodgsons England side for a friendly in Sweden afterward that time. His talent has convinced some of the most respected managers he is worth haunting. Yet, while he could still get by with it on the tone, he lived in denial. It was more than six years into his career before he accepted he necessary improve. You ever think you can rein it back in again and the money affords a false sense of security. But at Southampton I realised, mentally, I was extend. I wasnt playing, my job was going nowhere and I had to reach out to someone. The doctor there tried to help me but others were just telling me to go out on the pitching and express myself.
There was no understanding as to what happens in my premier. I know theyd drew me in to do a job and they werent there to be babysitters. Only like at QPR, I needed to justify the money they were paying me but I was in a state and, at some moment, there has to be a duty of upkeep. Football does not deal well with mental illness. Maybe its changing but the support mechanisms are so often not there. Ive spoken to so many players who have been told to go to the Sporting Chance clinic and theyve rejected because they know, if they take time off, theyll lose their neighbourhood in the team. Someone paces in and does well, so youre run. That dissuades beings from get promotion. You feel obliged to get on with things.
I would push chaps to talk to the PFA, to speak to their director, and not be scared about being plummeted if they are feeling like I did. Be brave enough to say you need help before its too late. The nervousnes Id ever needed something to take the edge off. Football was my flee as a kid but that changed when I was chucked into the first team as a adolescent and suddenly football came with push. My practice of dealing with it, even in the early stages of my occupation, was gambling. Im an addict. Im addicted to triumphing, which people say is a positive in football but surely not when it extends to gambling. I was addicted to trying to beat the system, because you reassure yourself there is a organization to it and you can beat it. You can never get your premier around why you arent.
Steven Caulker, here celebrating after tallying on his England debut in 2012, says his football ability is a gift but likewise a affliction. Photograph: Michael Regan/ Getty Images
He has played 123 meters in the Premier League and for eight guilds with the same, horribly familiar cycle of insecurity and self-destruction engaging him to each. There is always a catalyst to the nosedive. The sleepless nights, sat up till 5am replaying every bad decision Ive ever constituted in my life, obsessing what will be next Tottenham communicated me to Bristol City on loan at 18 and they set me inside a flat in the city centre surrounded by nightclubs, two casinos opposite, the kind of fund Id never seen in my life, and no counseling whatsoever. I was pulled once by a member of staff and told Id been discerned in the casino at 3am but their outlook was: What you do in your free time is your business. Just dont gave it change your conducts out on the pitch.
At Swansea a year later it was an injury which returned it all to the surface, and Spurs sent me to Boasting Chance to sort myself out while I was recuperating from my knee but I wasnt ready. I hadnt experienced enough anguish to make me want to stop. I was gambling heavily when I went back to Tottenham, staying up to crazy hours of the darknes in casinoes. I approximate never feeling good enough played a big part in that. I never appeared I was on the same height as any of the first-teamers but a big win in the casino and fund in my back pocket might change that. Being descent rattled me even more because football was what I had relied on to make me feel better. So then the gambling was every single era. The suffering of forgetting all my money, combined with the reproach and regret, snack away at me. So Id suck myself into limbo so I wouldnt have to feel anything. I was numb but I was out of control.
The chairman, Daniel Levy, eventually endeavoured him out on a post-season excursion to the Bahamas. He just said: The practice “youre acting” is stupendous. You either sort yourself out or extend but I can assure you, if you leave, youll be going down , not up. I was young, stupid. I took it as certain challenges, a chance to prove him incorrect. I was so immature. So I went to Cardiff and, for six months, everything was amazing. I was skipper, the manager, Malky Mackay, knew I had some issues but offered to be there for me. I appeared required, so there was no gambling , no heavy orgies but the second he was sacked, all the beasts is coming. Thats all it took. Even before we played the next recreation, Id persuaded myself good-for-nothing would be the same. Thats the various kinds of disastrous fantasizing Ive had to address.
Steven Caulker, here playing for Tottenham against Arsenal in 2010, says he made a big mistake leaving Spurs. Photograph: Tom Jenkins for the Guardian
I pointed up at QPR that summer, 2014, trying to hold it together, but the provoke there came in the second competition “when hes” flailed 4-0 at Tottenham. That find coming off the lurch at White Hart Lane, knowing marriage been humiliated and that Levy was sitting up in the stand thinking: I told you so There was no disavowing it any more. Id made a big mistake leaving Spurs. I should have stayed and sorted myself out. I craved the floor to swallow me up. It just pounded in my pate: repent, regret, repent. From that instant I was run, even if I never wanted to accept it, and there is nothing that escalated. Id go for daytimes without sleeping. I dont known better I endured it. That time was an absolute nightmare.
It was a vicious circle. Wed lose at the weekend and the love would get at me, and Id be ending. I really wanted to help us get results but we werent good enough and Id hanging in there taking responsibility in my head for the whole squads fails. I couldnt sleep, are concerned about what had happened. The only comfort I ascertained was in booze. It would stillness the articulations of disbelief and self-hate, temporarily anyway, but Id be too intoxicated to go into grooming, and the blackouts Id have no recollection of anything. It could be Monday and Id have no recognition of what had happened since Saturday night. Id wake up, roll over and look at my phone, and thered be texts from people saying: Did “youve been” do this last darknes? The administrator want to talk to you. It was stunning because I didnt know what had happened.
There were reasons when he would wake up in a police cadre. He sneers when asked how often “hes having” been arrested, humiliated to acknowledge the above figures, but the drink and riotous offences would flare up from London to Southampton to Merseyside. Sometimes Id be sat there with the police and my lawyer, watching the CCTV footage of what Id done, and I didnt recognise myself. I couldnt imagine the person I was. Its so hard to accept I could be like that. In Liverpool I was waking up in the middle of the darknes throwing up, people were extorting me, golf-club owners and bouncers: Compensate fund or well sell this story on you. And I had no hypothesi what Id even done on those blackouts. I eventually told the fraternity I couldnt function and needed to go back into rehab.
Things might have improved last-place season under Hasselbaink had the hip trauma, diagnosed as a week-long issue that became a complaint which motivated five different prognosis , not make him helpless once again. Id cost the fraternity 8m, was one of the top earners and one of the few left from the Premier League, and parties had no explanation why I wasnt playing. Why I was absent. It purposed up as my toughest time ever. I couldnt improve. My girlfriend lost her father and was mourning while living with someone struggling with addiction. My son, who lives with his mother in Somerset, is now at academy so Id extend months without realizing him. He had always been my safe situate. There was no release.
QPR and my agent tried to push me towards Lokomotiv Moscow in January, saying it would be a fresh start. Constituent of me belief the money they were offering could solve all my questions but why would being on my own out in Russia help? I had no hypothesi how to end the hertz and being in Moscow while still injured just detected a recipe for disaster. The director, Ian Holloway, was actually tell people to bide. Id been in its term of office close to tears, so he said: How anyone could suppose sending you there would be a good project is beyond me. You need to get yourself right. I revalued him for that but, for the guild, I can see why it was appealing to be shoot of me but I was in no fit state to move and eventually plucked the plug on it.
Id had one last play and lost a inferno of a lot of coin in December. A last-place blowout. It was at that point I eventually admitted I could not win; that there was no quick fix , no more daydreaming I could save the world through one good night on the roulette wheel. It was all a fiction that took me away from having to feel anything. I envisaged suicide a lot in that point. A dark era. Everything Id gone through in football, where had it taken me? All the remorse, the shame, the shame, the public shame in the working paper and for what? I could cling to my son, to what Id done in Africa, or the dimensions Id bought their own families, but Id blown everything else. I reckon Ive lost 70% what Ive deserved. When “were losing” that amount of money, the guilt thats so many lives you could have changed. There was no escape , no way out, other than to leave.
Steven Caulker says: In Liverpool I was waking up in the middle of the night throwing up, people were extorting me, society proprietors and bouncers. Photograph: Sarah Lee for the Guardian
But, in the moments of lucidity, I knew I couldnt do that because of my son. I havent gambled since but the drink replenished the void for a while. I was feared and didnt feel like there was anywhere else to make. Rehab didnt labour before so why would it work now? I stupidly took convenience in the alcohol but it culminated up redoubling the depression. It was relentless from every inclination. Until 12 March. Thats the day I lost my “drivers licence”. Thats when I realised my life had become unmanageable.
Caulker was ordered to pay 12,755 in fines and costs at Slough magistrates court at the end of March and was banned from driving for 18 months, having refused to blow into a breathalyser after police were called to a car park near Windsor Castle. I knew I was over the limit, I knew Id get the ban but I didnt want to tell my mothers Id fucked up again. What if I had driven the car out of the car park and killed someone? No, that was it. Ive been up before a judge four or five times. No more second risks. Its a jail sentence next. I was still injured and unable to play, so I signed off sick. I went to see a specialist who diagnosed me with hollow and anxiety. He prescribed me drug and we put together a project where I would take some time away to sort myself out.
He and his lover travelled to Africa and India, helping in orphanages, homeless shelters and schools where the bear was uncovered and obvious. He has attended countless Gamblers Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous sessions, and has reached out to support laborers in the game such as Clarke Carlisle for advice. He has not touched alcohol since his arrest in March. He takes medication, a humor stabiliser is striving to poise my high-flowns and lows, and address that substance inequality which prepares my actions so catastrophic, twice a period. Golf is a new, most constructive vice.
People say Ive done all this because Ive had too much fund thrown at me but I know teenagers without a penny who have the same addictive characters as me. Whether I played football or not I would still be suffering from this illness, only without the public pressure and mortification. Addiction does not care. I am a man of extremes. People dont meet me doing the additional grooming, snacking right, “re going to the” consortium each night to get fit, attending the anonymous meets, doing the kindnes effort. That is still me. That is who I am. But I get fucked by these other beasts and I desperately necessity something in the middle. I feel like Im getting there now, that things have finally changed.
Im doing interesting thing simply to remind me to stay on track. I could be relying on taxis to get me everywhere while Im banned but Im using public transport. Im living in one of the properties I own in Feltham, back where I grew up, to build me recollect how hard I had to work to get out of here aged 15. Its a remember that, if I continue to unravel, I wont improve my statu again. Money plows the cracks. It can be evil. It prolongs the agony.
QPRs actors reported for pre-season last-place Friday but Caulker, who has one year to run on his contract and has been developing all summer with the former conference actor Drewe Broughton at Goals centre in Hayes, had been signed off until July. Life at the fraternity had degenerated into an interminable river of internal disciplinary hearings and, despite Holloway having made clear his desire to retain the centre-halfs business, his future will not be at Loftus Road. What happens next is all a little bit flustered, all a bit unclear, he says. The director has texted me several times offering his support and “says hes” requires me at the guild but my new representative has been informed by the owners Im not welcome back.
For too long Ive hated everything about myself and I needed to learn to enjoy myself again. I miss the game like crazy. I dont experience as if Ive experienced playing football since Cardiff. I dont wishes to form my figure into Google and just see a roll of humiliating tales. I want people to remember I am a footballer who was good enough to represent his country at 20 and still has 10 years left in the game. At 40% of my ability, I was playing at the highest level. Now I feel good mentally and I miss the chance to show people, including my son, what I am truly capable of. Wherever the opportunity starts, Im simply thankful still to be alive.
In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
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