#and travlrcon arc wasnt my fave either

[fiovske]

can i vent to you just a bit? it makes me sad that the only thing that keeps me watching cr is the lore and caduceus. and it's so exhausting to be in some parts of the fandom sometimes when week after week there's talk about okay, if cad won't leave now, he will after they bring back molly, because he's "done with his arc". isn't jester also done with hers now after travellercon? she set out into the world because she couldnt stay at her home anymore but that has been taken care of already. 1/3

but there's never been even a word about jester possibly leaving the group. some will probably say that "but this is her family now! Caduceus still has a duty to fill elsewhere!" but when you have about 400 years of life still in front of you, I could argue that filling that duty is not something that needs to happen in the next month or even a year. to me this just highlights how easily cad gets brushed aside, almost like he still doesn't fully belong in to the group 2/3

despite everything that he has given to them. ep96 still gets my blood boiling. and i don't mean to be a jester anti, i'm just... tired i guess. also eeeverything else that feels off after the hiatus... I think I might do the sensible thing and clear cr from my thursday schedule. i can still catch the episodes from youtube and cheer for the firbolg boy by myself. it's just kinda sad that so many people that i follow don't seem to find the joy of cr anymore. I can't find it either. 3/3

I completely understand and I fully sympathize!! and also agree!! the way people sideline caduceus, and only acknowledge him as if his sole job is to be the emotional support of the group, to constantly give and to never get anything back. the way it is absolutely ignored that he’s been having terrible nightmares and the way people are on like: oh this means cad will leave and molly comes back!!

and I’m like: bro if cad leaves your group is statistically FUCKED. I know none of you like to check in on him emotionally or physically, if at all. jester isnt the group healer and doesnt like to focus on the healing, if your prime healer leaves then tell me who will null those nat20 attacks?? who will give you bless or cast bane on the emeny?? literally he is indisposable as a party member yall dont got anyone to pick you back up but him and yall have reduced him to that role only instead of ever trying to be introspective about him or engage with him on his trauma and self-destructive behaviors, despite everything he’s done for y’all and WILL continue to do, he’ll continue to give until there’s nothing of him left and yall are just real damn fine with taking from him and taking and taking.

like.. he’s died like, two times and had a really rough time on rumblecusp and we didnt see yall care for him like you would for someone you consider a main-character. I know caduceus has problems with acknowledging that he expecting love in turn isn’t something he should feel guilty about too, that he sees him being with the m9 as a “debt” a “duty” makes me infinitely sad and the fact that he always puts everyone before himself, always does THE MOST for every character, gives them affirmation and love when they need it... and gets almost next to nothing in return. not even a “how are you doing, buddy?” yeah.

idk i love the pink cow man and I hate how everything thinks he isnt interesting enough or “static” when caduceus has grown and changed and its been repeatedly shown that he struggles to balance how much he misses home and how much infinitely more would he miss the m9 if they ever part ways... like, he has so many issues that lurk under the surface, his inability to ask for love or to be cared for or even... idk, his inability to even ask for help.... it makes me so fucking sad. we got caduceus arc we met the fam but I’ll always be sad we couldn’t stay with them longer, that none of the nein really interacted with caduceus’ family or talked about him or asked what he’s like or just.. simply cared. it felt like they didnt really care and I dont care if I sound too salty right now but I love caduceus and all I can hope for is Matt probably makes an NPC who flirts with caduceus maybe or even simply cares, or even engages with him on a personal basis... i’d love to see the firbolg be the object of someone affection at least ONCE instead of bleeding himself dry by giving and giving and giving until he’s hollow and dry and there’s nothing left of him anymore and even then, he’ll continue to give and pretend he is fine. and i doubt, even then, that the m9 would notice.