#and today it's gone a long damn way towards keeping me sane and my college fiscally responsible

[ereborne]

The special courage which comes from knowing that yes, you did really very fuck up that task, but also no, they cannot afford to punish you in any meaningful way. What are they going to do. They cannot frown more mightily than your soul is doing already.

[cosmic-affinities]

Intense and Passing Infatuation

Summary: Flirting with your crush who doesn't take it seriously? No harm in that right? Right?

 Well, Izuku does it anyway. Until the day he said he wouldn't anymore.

(A very self-indulgent bkdk fic that has a tiny bit of past krbk, totally not a thing in the fic. A plot device at most!)

Read it on AO3 Here.

Crush: (noun) an intense and usually passing infatuation.

That’s all it was.

Just a crush.

Izuku was sure of it.

Nevermind Uraraka who said her psychology professor had told them a crush can only last about four months, after that it’s considered being ‘in love’ he was sure love was much too strong of a word.

Nevermind the last year which Izuku spent flirting with his Kacchan, something no one else would dare call him, while also never getting the right response.

“Morning love!” Izuku planted a sweet kiss on Katsuki’s cheek, a normal sight for their friends given the fact that they had witnessed it every day for the last nine months.

“Hey Deku, sleep in again?” Katsuki barely reacted to the kiss now, Izuku loved and hated it. He felt it was progress, just not in quite the right way.

“You mean waking up at the same time I do every Tuesday? It stops being ‘sleeping in’ once I’ve done it for months. And what about you Kacchan? Did you wake up early again today?” Katsuki rolled his eyes at the shorter man’s sass, he should’ve known where that was going.

Their friends all sat around them and waited, they knew if they tried to interject before their morning exchange they would simply be ignored.

“Looking good Kacchan seems like that campus gym treats you well.”

“Not too shabby yourself, nerd.” Katsuki quickly supplied, letting his signature smirk fall into place.

Izuku’s heart fluttered and he smiled back. If only the blonde was serious.

Just a crush. That’s all it was.

Finally, their friends could join the conversation they had waited out the morning kiss and compliment, they would now be acknowledged.

They had aptly claimed a table for eight, a seat for each of them, and two empty ones to house their enormous bags that came with life on a college campus. Sero and Kaminari always sat together, being roommates had been great for both of them. Shinsou and Uraraka sat beside them, knowing they might very well be the only sane ones at the entire table. Lastly, Katsuki and Izuku sat next to each other, across the table from Kaminari and Sero.

Their conversation carried on as normal, eventually, Katsuki turned and noticed Izuku looking at him.

Katsuki simply jutted his chin out questioningly, knowing Izuku would understand his unsaid remark.

“Oh, nothing. Just waiting until you’ll see me as your love interest.” Katsuki really should know the drill by now.

Katsuki smirked once again making Izuku weak in the knees, boy was he glad he was sitting.

“Trust me Deku, you’ll know if you’re my love interest. For now, I’m alright.” Izuku knew the drill too, it was rejection every time. Even so, he couldn’t help but deflate ever so slightly.

“Can we not discuss love interests at the breakfast table? I am trying to eat here.”

“Oh you can tune us out Sero, you should be used to it by now.”

“Or, I have an even better idea! Since it’s been nearly a year you could just, ya know, give up.”

Sero’s statement earned him a few dramatic gasps.

“Blasphemy!”

“Mutiny!” Uraraka jumped in, unprompted.

“Treason!”

“Ugh, they even got you, Kami? I thought Midoriya and Uraraka were the only ones invested in this.” Kaminari shrugged in response, he enjoyed the fun they had.

“Hey, you can’t blame him for trying. You gotta give him that at least.” Shinsou finally spoke up, he could appreciate Izuku’s patience and persistence even if he didn’t know why he used his energy on Katsuki.

“Yes! Exactly thank you Shinsou! I am just going to have to keep trying!”

“I’m not gonna stop you. Who knows I might even fall for ya one day.” Katsuki smirked along with his remark.

“I’ll be waiting.” Izuku winked at him, enjoying the ease of their interaction, even if it was all one-sided.

That’s all it was. Just a silly crush.

“What will it take for you to actually quit?” Sero, it seemed, wasn’t quite finished.

“I’ll quit when Kacchan finds himself falling in love with someone, until then you will all witness my persistence.”

“Deku aren’t you late for your TA spot in critical data analytics?” Katsuki cut in suddenly.

“Ah shit thanks, love! I’ll see you later!”

“No need to thank me sweetheart I only remind you every fucking Tuesday and Thursday.”

Katsuki called Izuku a handful of playful nicknames, the most dangerous of the bunch being ‘sweetheart’. Izuku didn’t know when it started and could only hope for it not to stop.

Katsuki didn’t seem to mind the playful flirting, Izuku would even go as far as to say that he enjoyed it and participated, but he also doesn’t take it seriously. He knew that Katsuki was just playing along.

It was a dangerous game that he couldn’t bring himself to stop playing, after all:

It was just a crush.

“Oh, you’re so sweet but I’m sorry I’m going to have to say no. I’m really not looking for something right now,” Izuku spoke to the taller boy in front of him. Izuku knew he was really sweet and, he can admit when he meets an attractive person but the red and white-haired man had one issue, he wasn’t Katsuki.

The taller man nodded and turned to walk away, leaving Izuku more relieved than he thought he would be.

“He was cute.”

“AH! Kacchan! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” Izuku planted a swift peck on Katsuki’s cheek, they hadn’t seen each other all day.

“Whatever, you just get scared too fucking easily. Anyway who was the dude? You totally could’ve gone out with him.” Izuku sighed, he didn’t want to explain that he turned down the critical data analytics hottie, Todoroki, because he was already crushing on someone but what other reason was there.

“Oh, he’s a student in the class that I TA for, I’m sure there’s some kind of rule against that or something. Plus he’s been with, like, at least three people I know, he was probably just looking for a new piece.”

Katsuki shrugged in response, seemingly accepting Izuku’s reasoning. The pair walked towards their meeting spot where they were going to join the rest of their friends for pizza.

“So how’s that crush coming?” Katsuki smirked at Izuku, the only thing that kept his knees from swaying was the sheer disbelief at the question he was asked. He quickly pulled himself together to answer.

“Well, if you must know, he’s been trying to pimp me out. Just recently he tried to get me to go out with someone!”

Katsuki hummed in response, “It’s been around a year I’ve heard. Is that right?”

“I hate to say it but I can’t disagree, a year sounds about right. I’d like to say I’m making progress but he might not be so inclined to agree.”

“I’ve heard through the shitty grapevine gossip central that our school is that progress is different for everyone but he seems to be making some of his own, although I’ve heard he’s still not too sure himself.”

Izuku wanted to gawk at Katsuki’s nonchalance, he held it together though.

“Is that so? Huh, if that's true it might be time I tell him about you, love.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sure he’s aware, probably just fucking confused as to why you keep going.”

Izuku stopped their walk, he knew they had just been teasing but he wanted to make sure the part he was serious about came through. Katsuki noticed a few steps later and stopped and made his way back, facing Izuku.

“I’m going to keep trying until you are taken.”

“And when that happens?”

“Then it’s my time to stop.”

Katsuki didn’t respond, he simply looked at Izuku. The fierceness of his gaze made warmth blossom on the back of Izuku’s neck.

“You can’t look at me like that. I’m just gonna kiss that expression right off your face.” Izuku whispered, he was trying to lighten the atmosphere.

“Why don't you.” Katsuki’s expression changed into a smirk, almost as if he knew the effect it had on Izuku. Instinctually, Izuku’s eyes flickered down to Katsuki’s pink lips, almost tempting him to follow through.

“You are one cruel man, Kacchan.” Izuku snapped himself out of his trance and stepped back before turning and continuing their journey to their friends.

It was just a crush, even if everyone knew about it.

The group enjoyed their night together, they all needed it after the month they had been having with school. The end of the night came much too quickly for everyone.

After whatever moment they had on their way to the restaurant, Izuku was ready to lie down. He paid his portion of the bill and planned on sneaking out, knowing he would see everyone in the morning, he had no such luck.

“Where are you sneaking off to sweetheart? You didn’t even say bye to the rest of the shit heads.”

“As if I won’t see everyone in less than twelve hours back on campus! I was just going to get home and grade papers for Tuesday.”

“You could’ve at least come and said bye to me, you’ve barely said a damn thing to me tonight.”

“Well then, bye love I’ll see you tomorrow. Get back safe and don’t forget to water your plants, I know you hate when they start to wilt.”

“Now that’s better, I’ll see you tomorrow, you damn nerd.”

Izuku finally made it out, he let out a long sigh. He was in much too deep with this man.

Honestly, it wasn’t just a crush.

Kirishima Eijiro.

Apparently, that was the name of the guy in Izuku’s seat on Thursday. He had woken up later, as usual, and made his way to the table everyone had breakfast. As he approached though, he noticed his seat was not empty. He was going to go straight to Katsuki for his morning kiss but even from far away, he could see the look on his face.

He brought with him Izuku’s time to stop.

Izuku quickly veered into the nearest bathroom to collect himself, he had no clue what to do. Once he felt better he made his way back towards the table.

“Hey Shinsou, I’m going to move your bag over so I can sit.” Izuku kept his voice low, he didn’t need any extra attention, Uraraka had already shot him a sympathetic look.

Once he was seated his friends greeted him.

“Morning guys.”

“Oh hey! We haven’t met, I’m Kirishima!”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Midoriya.” Izuku felt his phone vibrate, Uraraka had sent him a text. “On and off ex-boyfriend of baku's”

Izuku’s eyes widened and he stilled, he needed to think of something quick there was no way he could stay there. He luckily caught a glimpse of the time.

“Oh shit, I have to go. I don’t want to be late for uh, um... Fuck, critical data analytics, that's what it is. I’ll see you guys later!” Izuku grabbed his stuff and quickly left, that was the first time all semester that he had remembered on his own.

Now, there was no way Katsuki could know that it was anything more than just a crush.

Izuku held strong for two days, for two days he went to the table and saw the clear entrancement written all over Katsuki’s face whenever Kirishima spoke, he never once kissed Katsuki’s cheek in Kirishima’s presence and they were never far behind each other. There was no more sweetheart and love, just the bare pleasantries Izuku could muster.

After his two days he couldn’t handle it, he began going straight to his classes, catching up with his friends in their rooms. It was the first time he and Uraraka had time alone when everything truly went to shit.

“Look, they were best friends in high school and started dating halfway through, they were on and off for months when they went to different schools until they were finally done for good, a little while before you met him. Now that Kirishima is here, I really don’t know what’s going to happen.” Izuku took a calming breath before he responded.

“I always said if he found someone I would stop. I stopped and he doesn’t even care so everything’s fine. Why don't we review for your math exam? I made flashcards for you.”

Uraraka was suspicious, but she went along with him. The pair spent the rest of the night studying and Izuku continued to avoid their table.

He had to figure out how to get it back to just a crush.

Turns out that staying in your dorm gets quite boring. With the amount of extra work Izuku had offered to take on he had better win “TA of the Year” if it was a thing. Nearly two weeks had gone by with Izuku’s new schedule, he never did like change. He finally had his first misstep.

“OI Deku!”

Shit.

Two weeks of carefully planned avoidance, out the window.

“Oh hey, I didn’t even see you two.” Of course, the first time he interacts with Katsuki after two weeks, Kirishima would be with him.

“Nice to see you again dude!” Of course, he just had to be super nice too.

“Yeah yeah. Listen Kirishima I gotta talk to Deku real quick, go ahead I’ll meet you guys later.”

Izuku’s eyes widened, he wasn’t ready to be with Katsuki alone!

Kirishima nodded and walked away, leaving Izuku and Katsuki standing in the middle of the hallway.

“Where the fuck have you been? I’ve barely seen you in the last two weeks.”

“Oh um, I’ve just been busy with teaching, Professor Aizawa has me leading classes now.” Izuku held back the urge to keep talking, if he started he probably wouldn’t stop until he said something that he didn’t mean to.

“Tch, that’s never stopped you before, hasn’t the guy been giving you a shit load of work all semester?”

“Well yeah, but he has me writing lesson plans and leading lectures now, even if he takes over most of the time. I’ve just been trying to keep up, doesn’t leave time for much else.” He can only make so much stuff up.

“But you always leave time fo- whatever. When is the guy gonna lay off?”

“Uh not sure, probably closer to finals so I’ll have time to study?” Izuku glanced at his watch and noticed he only had two minutes to make it to critical data analytics. “Ah shit, I’m running late I have to go.” Izuku quickly turned and continued making his way to his class, but he didn’t get too far before he heard the last thing Katsuki had to say.

“I’m supposed to be the one that says you’re running late.”

Izuku fought the urge to turn around, it would only give him hope he couldn’t afford.

Just a crush, just a crush, just a crush. It became a mantra.

Izuku was finally let out of his last class for the day, he really hated Thursdays, they were long and drawn out, and seeing Katsuki hadn’t helped like it normally would.

“Deku wait up!” Speak of the devil.

Izuku watched, frozen, as Katsuki made his way towards him. Completely and utterly alone.

“Kac- um Bak- what's up?” Izuku could barely stutter his way through a greeting, he seriously wasn’t prepared for this.

Katsuki met him with a strange look, before deciding to respond.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“No, I don’t think so? I have my bag…” Of course Izuku wasn’t, he had to keep himself from planting a swift kiss on Katsuki’s cheek every time he saw him, he had to.

“What the hell Deku?! You go MIA for two weeks, and when I finally see you again it’s like everything is different! What the fuck happened?”

“What do you mean? I told you I’ve just been busy.” He knew exactly what Katsuki was talking about, he just couldn’t bring himself to admit it.

“You know exactly what I mean! Two weeks ago you came and had breakfast with me every day. You called me love and Kacchan and every time you saw me you gave me a kiss! Now you will barely even fucking talk to me! So let me ask again, what the fuck happened?”

Izuku felt like he could barely breathe, what was he supposed to do? He wasn't ready for any of this.

He tried to calm himself with a deep breath, he couldn’t just stand there and act dumb no matter how much he wanted to.

“Look, I-”

“I don’t want to hear whatever excuse you’re trying to come up with. The truth Deku.”

“I always told you that, when the time came, I would stop all of that. Well, the time came and I wasn’t ready so I had to do what I had to do.”

“Now you just aren’t making sense. What the fuck do you mean stop? Who said you had to stop?”

“I did. I always said when you find yourself inevitably falling for someone else I would stop. Now you have Kirishima and I stopped.”

“Wha- What the fuck is that supposed to-”

“Kacchan! It doesn’t take a genius to see the way you look at him. It’s, it’s the same way I looked at you when I started to fall in love.”

Wait.

Shit.

That came out of his mouth.

That was never supposed to leave his brain.

Fuck.

Now there was no way he could get anyone to believe that it was only a crush.

Katsuki wasn’t faring much better. He seemed frozen, although Izuku couldn’t pinpoint why. Obviously hearing that someone is in love with you will do that but he couldn’t be sure if it was shock, disgust, or something entirely different in its own right.

He didn’t want to find out.

“Uh, I have to go, bye.”

“No! Deku wait!”

That’s all Izuku heard before he took off, he could handle a lot but flat-out rejection was not a part of that list.

Katsuki knew it was never ‘just a crush.’

Izuku simply shut himself away, he was luckily done for the week, having strategically chosen to have a long weekend while making his schedule. He emailed Aizawa the grades for the quiz he administered and decided that was enough. He didn’t want to try and explain himself to anyone or have anyone pity him.

Therefore, when he heard the knock on his dorm room door, he assumed his roommate simply forgot his key.

He was wrong.

He opened the door to see a more composed-looking Katsuki. He could only hope his eyes weren’t rimmed with red.

“What are you doing here?” Izuku’s voice was soft, he was just glad his arm didn’t instinctually slam the door, that would not have gone well.

“What am I doing here? You’re seriously going to ask what the fuck I’m doing here?” Izuku noted that Katsuki seemed more frantic than anything, maybe his composed demeanor was for show.

Izuku took in a breath and moved aside, gesturing for Katsuki to come in, this wasn’t something an unfortunate bystander needed to witness.

Once safely inside his room, the pair waited, they waited for someone to start talking, for some answers.

Katsuki finally snapped.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Right because everything else I have done was specifically to hide the fact.” Izuku hadn’t meant to sound so teasing but he had nothing else.

“You know what I mean!”

“Okay, I didn’t say anything because… well because I didn’t want anything to change! As much as the consistent rejection hurt at least it was lowball, we were still friends! We still hung out! I was still allowed to shamelessly flirt with you! I was actually planning on telling you but then everything with Kirishima, and well I just couldn’t bring myself to ruin tha-”

“What the fuck are you talking about? That's the second time you have thrown him into this, this is between us why are you bringing him up?”

“Come on, Uraraka told me you guys were a thing, and she told me that you guys broke it off because you went to different schools, now that's not an issue anymore! The way you look at him shows how much he means to you.”

“Deku, he was my best friend for years that I hadn’t seen for about two years. I was shocked to see him and I seriously forgot how good it was before we dated!” Katsuki steeled himself with a breath.

“Look Deku, since he’s been here Kirishima has been up my ass about what the fuck was going on with me. He hadn’t seen me for nearly two years and he knew something was up with me. That day we ran into you outside of your class, he told me something. He told me that he was going to ask me out and then didn’t. All because of the way I reacted when we ran into you. He said I was more myself for the minute he saw me with you than I had been for the previous two weeks. Now, what the fuck does that tell you Deku?”

Izuku stood in shock, he really didn’t know what to say. There was a short pause before Izuku began to speak again.

“I don’t kn-”

“Nope. I don’t want to hear any bull shit. It took me way too fucking long to realize all of this and that was after someone told me to my face that I need to figure out my shit with you. Right now I just need to know if… if I’m too late.”

Izuku’s knees came out from under him, he fell backward onto his bed, thankful that he didn’t crack open his skull.

He was having a hard time understanding. There was no way Katsuki meant what Izuku thought he meant. No, that would mean… well, too much for Izuku to think through.

“Deku…?”

“I’m sorry. I think I’m just having a hard time understanding what you’re telling me.”

Katsuki used all of his remaining restraint to not grab the man in front of him and shake him until everything fell into place.

“Deku, what I’m telling you is that I was fucking wrong. I thought that everything between us was purely friendly and it was just a fun thing we did. I’m telling you that every time I turn someone down the reason in my mind is you. I am telling you that, if you will still consider me after every single shitty thing that has happened, I want to be with you. I am telling you that what I feel for you isn’t just some stupid fucking crush. Even if it took shitty hair telling me that I look at you like you hung the stars for me to realize it.”

Izuku blinked a few tears from his eyes. There was no room for misunderstanding and both of them knew it. Izuku couldn’t even think of a proper response, he simply threw himself forward and wrapped himself tightly around Katsuki.

Katsuki let out a shaky breath and returned the hug, basking in the warmth he had been missing since Izuku had been away.

“You know what nerd? Now it’s my turn.” Katsuki swiftly leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Izuku’s cheek, mirroring the action Izuku had done plenty of times before.

As Katsuki pulled back Izuku faced him properly, letting his gaze slip down to Katsuki’s pink lips, silently asking for permission. Katsuki wasted no time, they had done enough of that already.

It was perfect, their lips fit together better than puzzle pieces. It was instant gratification, a satisfaction so great, they were keen to never stop. Alas, they did need to breathe.

Once they pulled apart Izuku looked Katsuki up and down, in a way that gave him the chills.

“It took over a year of shameless flirting, cute nicknames, and trying to fend off anyone who had eyes but damn are you so worth it.”

Katsuki flushed darkly, something he wasn’t accustomed to doing, and simply stared back.

“To answer your question, of course, I’d still consider you. As long as you’re my ‘love’ I’ll consider you.”

“I will be your ‘love’ as long as you are my ‘sweetheart’ how does that sound?”

“That sounds like the perfect thing for the two most stubborn people on this planet. Does that mean I get to finally say that you’re my boyfriend?”

“Well either you say it or I will, every shitty extra in this place is going to know where they stand, let me tell you it is nowhere near you.”

Izuku smiled, he could get used to this. In response he kissed his new boyfriend, letting out a pleased hum due to how familiar the feeling was starting to become already.

Izuku couldn’t believe he ever thought it was only a crush.

[baseballbitch116]

Stay At Camp(1.2)

Your Walking Dead - Daryl Dixon Interactive Love Story

Introduction: Follow along on your journey with Daryl and the others throughout the series... You choose your actions... Will you end up with Daryl? YOU have the power to decide that!

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader

Setting: Atlanta camp - before Rick has joined (S1E2-3)

Word Count: 3263

Series Warnings: Gore, violence, strong language, potentially triggering content, sexual themes, death, mentions of drug/alcohol consumption and abuse...

Chapter Warnings: Violence, gore, death, strong language, angst,

A/N: I’d just like to note that I used a lot of true dialogue from the show, which does not belong to me; however, Y/N and the rest of the writing does.

Masterlist

Send Me A Request! | Series Masterlist

“What’s going on?” You ask Glenn as he passes you. “Going on a run. Wanna come?” He asks, stopping and turning to look at you.

You had never gone with them on a run before, what exactly do you do? Would you just get in the way? But then again, you’ve been wanting to find a way to pull your weight… What should you do?

~~~

“Uhh, nah... I’ll stay back.” You respond with uncertainty. You feel slightly guilty, but you just don’t think that you’re ready to go out there just yet. Glenn nods and shoots you a reassuring smile before turning and heading toward the others. With a sigh, you head the opposite way to help out with some cleaning.

Your mind is preoccupied for most of the remainder of the day, wandering between your insecurities or fears, sometimes to different terrible scenarios that could be taking place on that run. Trying to keep yourself busy was the only was that you managed to stay sane - so that was what you did. You helped Amy clean and gut the fish her and her sister caught earlier in the day, tidied up the RV, helped Shane gather firewood, asked Carol to try to teach you how to sew, and even assisted the kids with homework - seeing as you were recently graduated from college with a degree in education.

The day drug by slowly, but eventually the sun set and everyone gathered around the fire Shane set up in to eat. It was a simple meal of canned beans and canned soup, each of you getting small portions in order to feed everyone. You sat beside Amy as you spooned at your food, listening to Dale explain his reasoning behind adjusting his watch every morning. You lent against the log that the others sat on, not overly concerned with dirtying your shorts, as you and the women wash clothes every morning.

This certainly wasn’t a meal that you would have eaten a few weeks ago - not only did beans and soup not go together, but you really steered clear of the weird mushy food. You wished you had a nice cheeseburger or bowl of Fettuccine right now - but that was a luxury that no longer existed. It was not easy to cook meals in a pot over a fire, with minimal ingredients and two dozen people to feed.

You chuckle as Dale finishes his story, taking one more spoonful of the beans into your mouth as you listen to the others speak. Your eyes wandered to Carol and her family gathered around their own smaller fire off to the side - grimacing at the sight. You liked Carol and Sophia a lot - but Ed was another story. The man wanted nothing to do with the rest of the group, contributed less than nothing, and was very obviously abusive toward his wife. You also took notice of the fact that once again, Daryl was not here.

Typically, Daryl would bring back whatever he killed, cook it up and take his plate off to his tent to eat alone. You had not seen him eat alongside the rest of the group before, it made you curious. Why did he insist on being alone? Today, he was still out hunting, having only returned for an hour or so earlier before heading back into the woods. You couldn’t help but worry - he was alone in the woods in the night. Still, it wasn’t your place to worry. The man had probably spoken a total of two words to you since meeting him - if that - you were by no means friends.

You are drawn out of your thoughts when you spot Shane standing up, approaching Ed and Carol over at their fire. Some of the group watch as the others try to mind their business as Shane asks Ed to keep the fire low, so they can’t be seen from far away. You clench your spoon as you see the man tell Carol to remove the log that he just tossed into the fire - watching as Shane stomps it out and thanks Carol, bidding her and Sophia a good night. You liked Shane - he was a pretty good guy to lead this group.

-

The next day goes by relatively the same as the one before, with the exception that the others never returned from the run. Typically, they would be gone from morning until close to sun down, which worried everyone immensely. Amy was panicking and demanding that they go out to try to find her sister, but Shane refused. You could see both sides, feeling bad for Amy but understanding Shane’s reasoning. You tried to reassure her that they were probably fine, but the younger girl wouldn’t hear any of it.

Not long before sundown, you heard the sound of an alarm blaring through the hills. Shane jumped up from where he sat cleaning his shotgun, Lori pausing in trimming Carl’s hair as she followed after him. You tried to spot where the sound was coming from, but you could not see anything. “Talk to me Dale!” Shane shouts at the older man on watch atop the RV. He is looking out with binoculars, trying to pin point what was approaching. “Can’t tell yet.”

“Is it them? Are they back?” Amy asks anxiously. You place a hand on her back to try to comfort her, your heart pounding as you anticipate what is coming.

“I’ll be damned.” Dale mutters.

“What is it?” She demands.

“Stolen car is my guess.” He replies, dropping the binoculars as the red car comes into view.

Everyone gathered around camp when the car pulled up. Shane was furious that Glenn pulled up to camp in a red sports car, laughing excitedly as its alarm shrilled.

“Holy crap, turn that damn thing off!” Dale shouts at Glenn as he grins.

“I don’t know how!” He hollers with his arms open. Shane taps the hood impatiently, asking him to pop the hood as Amy bombards Glenn with questions over the loudness of the car.

“Pop the damn hood please!”

“Is she alright?! Is she okay? Where is she?!”

“Yes! They’re all okay! Well... Merle not so much.”

“Are you crazy driving this wailing bastard up here - you trynna draw every walker for miles?!” Shane exclaims, leaning on the open hood after he shuts the alarm off.

“I think we’re okay.” Dale mutters. You run a hand through your greasy hair as you wrap your head around everything. Everyone’s okay except Merle? Why was Glenn driving this in the first place?

“You call being stupid okay?” Shane asks, shooting a look over his shoulder at Dale.

“That alarm was echoing all over these hills - hard to pin point the source. Shane stands and places his hands on his hips, giving Dale a look. You can’t help but admire how he looks for a moment - his blue button down shirt with the top buttons undone, exposing his chest. His cargo pants were snug on his long legs and his black hair was disheveled from running his large hands through it so frequently. If it weren’t for Lori...

“I’m not arguing, I’m just saying.” Dale remarks. “But it wouldn’t hurt you to think things through a little more carefully.” He points a finger at Glenn, the smile long gone from his face. You shake your head and shift your weight as a white truck pulls up behind the other car. You feel your heart swell in happiness for your friend when Andrea steps out, running for her sister with teary eyes. You watch as Morales and everyone else reunite with their loved ones, both you and Shane exchanging a look as Lori comforts a saddened Carl.

When a new man steps out of the car, dressed in a cop outfit, you are confused when you see Shane’s face fall. He looks like he’s seen a ghost - does he know this man? “Dad!” Carl screams, running into the arms of the unknown man. You watch in awe as Carl and Lori reunite with who must be his father... You and all the other smile at the scene, a single tear strolling down your cheek as you rejoice for them.

Until it hits you.

You look at Shane, his face rising and falling, his expression changing every second. He’s been sleeping with Lori... From what you knew, her husband was shot and died in the hospital right as this all happened... Was this really that man? You had so many questions but instead went over to give Andrea a hug, happy to see your friend has returned safely.

After the others settled in, the fire was once again set up and everyone feasted, listening to stories and the man - Rick - explained what happened when he woke from the coma he was in. You kept glancing back at Shane, wondering whether he was happy his friend was alive or not. He explained that he thought he died, that he didn’t hear a heartbeat and was attached to machines, which sounded like enough reason to believe he had passed to you. Still, you noticed how he looked at Lori throughout the night and you knew that there was going to be tension after tonight.

Once again, Daryl had only appeared once in the morning, asking about the whereabouts of his brother and eating before heading back into the woods. You had met his eye when he strode off, ducking your head from the intensity of his stare.

The next morning, you awoke shortly after sunrise in order to get a head-start on the day. You were going down to the quarry to wash clothes with the women while Shane and Carl tried catching frogs. You dressed into denim capris that hugged your legs and a black tank top, your hair pulled up into a pony tail as you spooned leftovers from last night into your mouth alongside Amy and Andrea. You are sitting beside them on the RV stairs when you spot Daryl approaching the camp from the woods, a string of something swung over his shoulder as he heads your way.

Swallowing the lump that formed in your throat, you exchange a knowing look with the sisters - Merle was left behind. Daryl stops a few feet away from the RV, hollering for his brother as he sets down his crossbow. “Merle!” He hollers again, making you cringe as you note a string of squirrels thrown over his shoulder. You meet his eye for a moment when he glances over his shoulder toward the RV. “Get yer ugly ass out here! Got us some squirrel!” He shuffles the weight of the dead animals over his shoulder. You grimace at the sight - knowing that it was a good thing and you should be thankful, but it was gross and sad. “Let’s stew em up!”

“Daryl?” Shane calls out, stopping Daryl in his tracks. Everyone is gathered around by this point and you exchange a worried look with the girls when you spot T-Dog heading over with an armful of firewood. “Why don’t you slow up a bit? I gotta talk to you.”

“About wha?” Daryl asks, his southern accent prominent. You try not to seem too nosey but at this point a lot of the group was gathered around, anticipating his bad reaction. You set the bowl of food aside and stand, crossing your arms and leaning against the vehicle beside your friends. “This isn’t gonna be good.” Amy mutters to the two of you, keeping her voice low. Shane makes his way over to Daryl, Rick following behind.

“About Merle... There was a uh... There was a problem in Atlanta.” You watch anxiously as Daryl takes in the information, looking around the camp at the people gathered, chewing on his thumb.

“He dead?” He asks, glancing up at Shane sideways.

“I’m not sure.”

“He either is or he ain’t!” Daryl shouts, approaching Shane. Your body is tense now and you worry that he is going to do something stupid.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it.” Rick steps up, approaching Daryl. He glares at him angrily. You notice how Rick looks a lot different in his large white shirt and jeans than he did yesterday in his uniform.

“Who are you?”

“Rick Grimes.”

“Rick Grimes...” Daryl sneers, sarcasm dripping off his tongue. You feel the tension growing in the air. “You got somethin you wanna tell me?” He growls.

“Your brother was a danger to us all. So I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked onto a piece of metal. He’s still there.”

Daryl begins stalking back and forth, glaring between Shane and Rick, clearly bewildered. If you were in his shoes you would be too - it sounds pretty bad. “Hold on,” He starts, wiping his face and gesturing to his head. You notice that Daryl speaks with his hands quite a lot, mentally adding it to the things that you know about him. “Lemme process this. You’re saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof?! And you left him there!” He hollers at Rick, his tone raising with each word, making you jump at his loudness.

Before anyone can react, Daryl tosses the squirrels at Rick - who dodges them - and goes to lunge at him. Shane is quick to roughly shove him to the ground - making you cringe when he hits the ground on his back. You want to intervene but it’s not your place - and what would you do to stop the older, larger man?

Daryl whips out his large dagger, making you and Amy gasp when he swipes at Rick. Between Shane and Rick, they work together to disarm and get Daryl to the ground, Shane holding him in a choke-hold as Rick tries to reason with him. “You best let me go!” Daryl shouts, his face turning red as he struggles against Shane.

After a moment, Shane releases Daryl. He shuffles to his feet and resumes stalking and glaring at the men. “The hell with all y’all!” Daryl shouts, waving his arm in no real direction. You spot the tears he roughly wipes away and your heart drops for him. If that were your brother abandoned on a roof you would be pretty furious too. You can’t imagine how he must be feeling.

“Just tell me where he is.. So I can go get him.” Daryl grumbles.

“He’ll show you. Isn’t that right?” Lori speaks up, looking over at her husband. When he nods, she stomps past you into the RV and you exchange a confused look with Amy.

You, Andrea, Amy Jacqui and Carol decided to head down to start on the laundry after the scene. Ed tags along, irritating you, but you bite your tongue. Eventually Shane follows with Carl and you watch them mess around in the water, trying to catch frogs. The sight warms your heart - until Lori shows up and tells Carl to leave. You try not to watch too much, but everyone can hear and see her hollering at Shane, telling him to stay away from Carl.

You feel that is a little harsh, given all that Shane has done for her and that he says he thought Rick was dead. You keep your opinions to yourself as you scrub clothes in the water, droning out Carol as she talks. The girls start listing things that they miss and you all laugh when Andrea brings up her vibrator, Carol agreeing with her. The moment is cut short when Ed interrupts, saying that you guys are laughing too much.

You and Andrea turn and shoot him a look as he looms over you guys, lighting a cigarette. This man had nothing better to do than to supervise? You watch as Andrea stands up, approaching him and you dread the worst. You will not hesitate to stand up for her if he acts out of line - unfair to butt in in this situation.

“Ed, tell you what. You don’t like how your laundry’s done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself.” She suggests with a calm tone. You slowly stand from where you sat and turn to face them, ready for him to pull a dick move. “Here,” She suddenly tosses a wet pair of pants at Ed’s chest, which he immediately tosses back into her face, making her gasp. “Ain’t my job missy.” He drawls, taking a drag of his cigarette. The situation very quickly escalates as Amy tries to get her sister to back down but you take her side.

“No, what exactly is your job Ed? You think you can stand around and watch us all day? Got news for ya - we sure as hell aren’t your bitches.” You growl, daring the man to try you. You’ve had it up to here with this asshole, you’re dying for an excuse to fuck him up or go down trying.

He demands Carol follow him when he pussies out of the confrontation and ends up slapping her - sending all of you over the edge. Everyone is screaming as you and Andrea quickly start pounding on Ed’s chest, you digging your nails into his arms as you try to pull him off of Carol. You manage to get a punch in before he is literally drug off by Shane. You hold your throbbing fist as you watch Shane begin pummeling Ed, climbing on top of him and relentlessly beating him.

You almost want to cheer as he does so, grimacing as Carol cries and begs Shane to stop. Eventually he takes it too far and you all start hollering for him to stop. Carol runs over to the asshole’s side and sobs over him, making you sick as she apologizes to him. You and Shane meet eyes for a moment, your gaze landing on his bloody fists. “Shane-” You start, but he shrugs and shifts his weight, walking backward from the scene.

-

While some of the men got ready to go back to Atlanta to get Merle, you iced your throbbing hand on the steps of the RV. “You okay?” Glenn asks, shooting you a worried look. You nod and give him a halfhearted smile.

“I wish I could’ve beat his ass like Shane did.” You remark, shifting your weight slightly. Glenn lets out a chuckle and removes his cap, brushing his hair away.

“He deserved it.”

“Damn right he did.” You respond, wincing as you readjust the ice. You look up to spot Daryl getting ready a few yards away. He glances up, squinting at you in the bright sun as you sit there. Word quickly got around camp about what happened and it didn’t take a genius to figure out how you hurt yourself. You watch Daryl chew on his bottom lip, looking at you sideways before dropping his gaze back to his crossbow in hand.

“What’s that all about?” Glenn mutters. You glance up at him and cock a brow.

“Whaddya mean?”

“That. Daryl.” He clarifies, a smirk tugging at his lips. You drop your head as you feel your cheeks heat up, checking out your hand.

“Nothin. We don’t even talk.”

“You want to?” He asks, leaning his body against the RV, shooting a look back at the others that he is waiting for.

“I dunno, he doesn’t seem so bad.” You mumble, glancing up one more time when you see Daryl approaching the other men at the jeep, not looking at you this time. Glenn doesn’t respond, replacing his hat on his head and patting your shoulder. “Be careful.” You tell your friend, shooting him a weak smile that he returns as he walks off.

You watch as Glenn stands a few feet apart from Daryl, Shane giving Rick some bullets. “Let’s go! Wastin sunlight.” Daryl rushes them, making you chuckle slightly. You stand up and after one last look at your friends, you head back into the RV.

| NEXT CHAPTER |

~~~

And that’s the end of the second option! This next chapter will end with more choices that you will need to make to continue through the story. You are heading down a spiral of choices and consequences. A simple decision like choosing to stay at camp is going to set the foundation of this story and all of the choices you are going to need to make following it! If you read the first option, you would see just how different the story has become, and it will only go more into depth as you continue down more paths.

Please leave me some feedback in the comments!! I’m looking forward to seeing everyone’s reactions to this series!!! ♥

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[tnystrk-exe]

we both know how this song ends

Jack Daniels x Reader

Masterpost

Warnings: Emotional/Physical abuse, mentions of suicide, death. Starts in high school. Each chapter is roughly 4k 

Chapter One

The buzzing of your alarm clock woke you away. Mind still fuzzy, you slapped a hand on it to turn it off. Finally, school was starting up and you wouldn’t have to hear about how much of a waste you were from your mom and her newest boyfriend. 

Since your father had died, your mom kinda lost it. One day she was normal and the next… Well she just wasn’t her anymore. Your dad was her everything and you just weren’t enough to keep her sane. It had been hard to deal with losing both of your parents at once. Sometimes, you weren’t sure which was worse. 

Your father was gone and that had been painful. But your mother was here and she couldn’t even look at you unless she was angry. At first you had tried, you really did. You cleaned the house. Made her dinner. Showed her all of your accomplishments. It was never enough for a smile. No. The laundry wasn’t done. The food was too salty. Jessica’s daughter did better than that. So, you stopped. After a while you learned your lesson. 

Not too long after that came the men. Some would come for weeks. Others minutes. Never particularly long enough to know them other than angrily traded words. You stayed locked up in your room or out of your house as much as possible. 

Sighing, you forced yourself to start the day. Grabbing a shirt and pants you threw them on before slipping on your shoes. You glanced at your hiding spot. This new guy had gotten your mother into pawning your stuff and looting around your room for money for his fix lately. The money hidden under your bed would be found quickly, no doubt. Sighing you went to grab it and placed it in your backpack. It would be better if you just started to keep your valuables close. 

Shouldering your bag you walked out of the small room. It seemed like your dad left and everything good with him. The house was sold, one income meant goodbye home sweet home. Your mother had blown the money so quickly in her depression? Anger? You weren’t quite sure what to call it. So you moved into a shabby too close together apartment in the middle of Who Knows Where, USA. No trace of the good, old times in sight. That is other than the box of old family pictures the newest one had his dirty work boots propped on top of.

“Hey, kid, where’s the fucking rent?” He asked, already smoking his first cigarette of the day.

“Take your fucking feet off of that.”

He lifted his foot, slamming it back down. The crunch of the glass angering you instantly. “What are you going to do about it?”

You balled your fist. Soon you’d be out. Soon it wouldn’t matter. Soon this whole life would be behind you. “Fuck you, Steve,” you scoffed in disgust. 

He laughed at your retreating form. “If that’s how you want to pay your rent that’s fine. Bet you’re better at it than your mom anyway.”

Red flag noted. No being alone with that creep. 

You started cycling to the school. Of course you got to be new in your last year. Just your luck. The small town could have been really cute, that is if your personal life hadn’t soured the experience. It was a big change from the city life you had been used to. The air was fresher and it was way quieter than anywhere else you had ever been. 

Maybe it would have been nice if you hadn’t felt so alone all the time. So much had changed in seven months. Hopefully, in another seven they would change for the better. You weren’t sure just how long you could keep going like this. It was getting to be too much already. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. No use in being a baby about it. This was your life and it would have to be for just a little while longer. There was a banner across the school’s entrance that read welcome class of ‘91. Just this one year and you’d go to college somewhere far from your mother and her new life. 

You left your bike at the rack and went to follow the mass. Most people were walking toward the cafeteria. Others were already flocking into their cliques, which made you miss your own all the more when you heard their laughter and inside jokes. When you finally made your way into the crowded cafeteria, you made your way to the senior lines. 

“Hello, there pretty lady,” greeted a guy with a god awful start to a mustache.

You nodded, “Hey.”

“I haven’t seen you around here, I’d like to think I woulda remembered seeing an angel.”

“Jackie boy!” Someone called out from behind you, “I already called dibs on that piece.”

You rolled your eyes and pushed past him. Just one year. 

“Name miss?”

“YN LN.”

The teacher started looking through her files. When she finally found it, she handed you a thick folder of papers. “Your schedule and locker number are on the first page. The rest is everything your parents need to sign and information on your graduation ring and gown. Your teachers should give you all the books you need as you see them.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

You left the cafeteria and started an attempt at looking for your locker. “Where do I even start?” you muttered under your breath.

The sound of boots behind you and a tap on the shoulder made you turn around. “Look, I’m sorry about Eric. He’s a dick. He likes to say stupid shit like that.”

“We’ll call it even if you help me find my locker,” you offered. “For Eric and that awful line.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” he nodded as he took your folder and took a look at your schedule. “Looks like I got lucky. Yours is across from mine. If you want I can show you the way around.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

“So what brought you over here?” He signaled you to follow him as he asked.

“Something’s changed recently,” you shrugged, “New start. You always lived here?”

“Born. Raised. Hopefully, this won’t end here.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve got so much more to see than this small town.”

He laughed, “What’s the outside world like darlin’.”

“You wouldn’t believe it. There’s people that don’t all exclusively wear flannels and Stentons. Buildings and crowds as far as the eye could see.”

“I’m getting the heebies jus’ thinkin’ about it, he shuddered for added effect, “Name’s Jack Daniels.”

“Your parents do realize-“

“Yeah. Mom had to talk dad down from Daniel Daniels. Let’s just call this one a win. What’s yours? I wanna judge your parents' choices too.”

“YN LN.”

“Damn. That’s actually kinda cute. I’ll let that mouth of yours slide just this once.” He stopped and pointed to a locker and then another, “Yours. Mine. First days here are usually just ice breakers. I’d recommend just bringing a pencil, paper, and your backpack for today. Your path doesn’t cross your locker until you hit fourth period. Go put some of your things up and I’ll walk you around.”

You nodded and had done as he said. Honestly, you hadn’t thought you’d find someone you’d be so comfortable with this early. But Jack had seemed kind enough, so you’d roll with it and see where it went. He showed you throughout the school, making sure to show you short cuts you could take for your classes. It wasn’t too long before he ended the trip at your first period class. 

“Well, this is where we end. Is my debt paid off?”

“Yeah, it is. We’re all squared up.”

“Then sweetie pie, I hope I’m lucky enough to see you around.”

You laughed, “How many of those are you going to try?”

He shrugged, “I’m a fan of Pretty Lady. Can’t promise I won’t try out more.” Jack turned heel and walked off to his own class. 

Part of you berated yourself for not comparing schedules when you had the chance. He had been the first real interaction you had had in awhile. Even more if you had to admit it, other than the ‘stache he was easy on the eyes. 

It wasn’t until you met Vanessa in second period that you stopped thinking about him. Maybe you weren’t so infatuated and just missed having company. 

“Let me see your schedule?”

You handed it over. “Any matches?”

“Lunch and seventh period. You should have fifth period with my Jack.” You could have sworn she sighed lovingly. “Well, he doesn’t know he’s my Jack, but he will be.”

“Ah... Jack Daniels?”

“Yeah,” another sigh and a doped up look, “You’ve met him already?”

“Yep, he walked me around the school in the morning.”

“He’s always a gentleman.”

Okay, Vanessa probably wouldn’t be an exactly close friend. Not because of Jack, but she just seemed like the type that crushed on people too hard for your liking. Nice girl, couldn’t deny that. Pretty soon you knew a decent amount. She had a crush on Jack since the beginning of first grade. He worked on her family’s farm during the summer and one time he even winked at her when her daddy wasn’t looking. 

The bell rang and your icebreaker bingo was thrown in the trash.

It was still a surprise when Jack looked around the class in fifth period and caught you with a big smile. “Well, wouldn’t you look at that!” He sauntered over toward you, “It looks like you and me have chemistry lil’ miss.”

“Not as much as you and Vanessa,” you joked.

He took the seat next to you, condemning himself to be your partner for the rest of the year. “I promise, I’m not her Jack.”

“Mmm, you sure you just don’t know it yet?”

“I’m certain. She’s a good girl, but she’s just not for me. I got grass in my eye a while ago and she thought I sent a wink her way. Vanessa wouldn’t stop making eyes at me the rest of the summer. I dunno, she may just be too clingy for my taste.”

You patted his back. “Good luck. She’s got it bad.”

“I know, she’s stuck on me being her first kiss.”

“You were her first kiss?”

“And she was mine. It was a little kiddie school play. She was a princess and I was a frog.”

“It couldn’t be any more obvious. Got any pictures I can make fun of?”

“You can stop by mine sometime. I’ll show you. Speaking of, what are your plans after school?”

You shook your head, “I don’t really have any.” You were embarrassed to admit that you were gonna ride around town and avoid going home as long as you could. 

“Great. There’s this burger place, best milkshakes in the town. Also the only place you can get one but that’s beside the point. If you don’t mind hanging out that is.”

“No, um, that sounds really nice.”

“Me and you after school. It’s a plan.”

After school, Jack put your bike in the back of his blue Chevy and drove you to the best shake spot in town. He had made you laugh and smile more than you had in a long time. You almost pitied Vanessa for not grabbing his attention. Jack really did seem like a great guy. Too bad you’d probably leave and he’d stay here. The conversation stayed light. You didn’t want to get to the poor girl with the sad life pity party yet. For now, he gave you a sense of normalcy that you wanted to hold onto for a while longer. 

That was until it was time to go home.

“You can leave me here.”

“What? No, I can take you down the street.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “My mom’s real strict, J. If you drop me off, I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Okay, fine. Can I pick you up for school? You’re on my way anyhow.”

“I don’t want to impose.”

“6:30 sharp,” he said with a tone that left no room for argument, “Then, just maybe, we’ll be able to get some decent breakfast.” You went to get out the car and he followed after, taking your bike back out for you. “If she’s so strict you should probably keep bringing your bike. I don’t want you to get an earful on my account. See you tomorrow.”

You started to walk your bike down the street. When you started to put your bike up is when you noticed the old truck start to drive away. It made your heart flutter a bit with how much this still stranger cared about you. The feeling of it didn’t last long when you looked at the apartment door. Steeling yourself you walked in.

“And where have you been you little bitch?” Your mother asked, instantaneously. “Whoring around no doubt.” 

“You know what they say,” you shrug, “the apple doesn’t fall far.”

You couldn’t react with how quickly she got in your face. Her nails dug into your jaw as she made you look at her. “Don’t disrespect me. I’m your mother.”

“I remember a time you liked me.” You don’t know why you said it, but it had just fallen out. The part of you that still wanted answers no doubt.

“You’re just a burden and a disappointment,” she scoffed, disgusted by the idea. “You know, YN, I bet you’re the reason your dad killed himself.”

Tears blurred your vision but you didn’t let them fall. “Take it back.”

“What? Are you going to cry?” Her alcohol laced breath wafted into your face, “Daddy killed himself and mommy doesn’t love you anymore. Does the little baby want to cry?”

“You’re such a fucking bitch.”

Her hand slammed heavily against your face. For a split second she looked surprised, but it was gone in an instant. “Go to your fucking room and don’t come out.”

No need to be told twice. You went to your room and locked the door behind yourself. With a shaky breath you sent your backpack down and went to look in a mirror. Wincing at the damage. 

“Let’s see if you’ll think twice about opening that fat mouth,” you heard your mother yell into the house.

Just a few months, you could make it. Things would get better. 

The next morning, you woke up and instantly went to check your face. God, you could have cried the second you saw the ugly bruised skin. What would Jack say? You tried so hard to keep this all quiet just to be ruined the next day. Grabbing whatever was closest, you changed and got ready for the day. Still checking yourself in the mirror every so often hoping that somehow it would go away. 

You didn’t even throw a comment to Steve on the couch this morning. Didn’t do anything at another of his lewd comments. Something about being open to a blowjob from that pretty little mouth. 

It was like you were in auto pilot. Just kept walking with your head down, bike in tow. You didn’t realize how far you had walked until you heard Jack’s increasingly familiar engine. 

“I know you said your mom was strict, but you could have given me a warning you wanted to get picked up this far out,” Jack said, the truck crawling along the road beside you. “YN?”

“Hm, sorry,” you got yourself back into the real world, “It’s okay. It’s a nice day out. I feel like walking some.”

“That’s nonsense,” he protested, jumping out from the truck and walking to you, “Just, lemme load her up and- What happened to you?” You flinched when his hand came up to your face, but it was much gentler than last time it happened, “I wouldn’t hurt you sugar. Ever. Tell me what happened.” His thumb stroked your jaw as soft as possible as he tried to comfort you. 

“I really don’t want to talk about it, Jack.” You pulled away from his hand. “I just want to get past all of this. Please?”

“Was it because of me?” It made sense to him, you got home late, maybe his cologne had lingered on you since the truck was so small.

You shook your head, “Things were tense long before you. You’re not even in the cards.”

“How are you feeling about school?”

“I don’t think so, not with this,” you motioned at the forming bruise, “It’s just going to get worse.”

“Tell you what. We’ll pick up some make up, so you can feel more comfortable with it being covered up. Then we’ll go do who knows what together. Okay? You and me.”

He put your bike into the truck and helped you into the car. At the store he dealt with the disproving look from the cashier. What was he supposed to say? Oh that wasn’t from me. This was a small town after all. It wouldn’t matter what he’d say. Word spread as fast as fire. Soon everyone would know about the Daniels boy going around with a strange new girl. Keep your girls safe, the bruise on her cheek looked especially horrible. 

Jack handed the money over and grabbed then he grabbed the bag. Grabbing your hand in his, he took you back to the truck. You had entered this calm daze. Not really speaking, just doing as he asked. 

“Would ya mind staying at my house?” He hadn’t bothered to add that you needed to rest. With a shake of your head he started up the old truck and went home.

The home was nice. Classic American if anything. Two stories, baby blue with white trim, and a white fence. Not all white you noted. There were pink, blue, and yellow hand prints on the door. Mom, dad, and Jack were fading words underneath them. Your family had had something similar with a height wall, though little you never quite caught on that your parents never changed much. 

“It’s really pretty, Jack.”

“Thank you, darlin’. My dad would appreciate it more than anyone. He built it when mom and him got engaged.”

“That sounds really sweet.”

“I’m hopin’, one day I get to do the same. C’mon. Meet my old girl Bess.” He nodded for you to follow him up the path. Jack patted his thigh, “She’d never been the best at hunting. But she is a lovely girl.” 

The old bloodhound stood to nuzzle it’s head into his thigh when he reached the porch, before going over to give you the same treatment. “Hi, Bess,” you scratched behind her ear. 

“She likes you. She’s not very fond of strangers. Let’s get on inside and I’ll make us all some breakfast. You’re welcome to look around.” 

The inside of the home was modest enough. You could have sworn the place smelled of freshly baked cookies. Jack immediately made a beeline for the kitchen. Which left you and Bess alone in the front room. You took the time to look at the pictures that had been placed around the living room as Bess made herself cozy on the couch. 

Jack smiling a wide smile, with what you assumed was his first tooth he lost, held out proudly to the camera. An older picture of his parents kissing on their wedding day. The woman holding Jack, looking tired but relieved to see her son. Another of Jack sitting in his dad’s lap in the same truck he had brought you home in. The pictures were sweet but they made your heart clench horribly. They reminded you of a life you didn’t get to have anymore. That was enough to let loose the tears you had been reluctant to let fall. 

You tried to keep your sobs down, but Jack noticed all the same. His arm wrapped around your shoulder and he led you to the couch. “Talk to me, sweetheart. I can’t help you the way you need if I don’t know…” 

So you spilled it all, every single detail. How your father had left and didn’t even leave a reason. Not even a note. You hadn’t been worth a note. There wasn’t any way to find any clues with everything gone. Your mother’s spiral downward. The ever revolving door of men. The growing fear that maybe she’d start to depend on drugs as much as the alcohol. “She’s never laid a hand on me. That was the first time and for a second, Jack, I thought she was back, but then she got buried up again. She’s right there, but she’s so fucking far. And I want to be angry. More than anything. But I’m just so depressed. I don’t know, maybe it was me, maybe I am the reason he killed himself like she said.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Slow that down,” he grabbed a cloth and wiped away your tears, “I don’t know much about your father, but you couldn’t have been the reason. Your mom is just spouting bullshit because she’s angry at the world. Taking it out on you is a shit thing to do. You deserve so much better.”

You gave him a faltering smile, “I don’t deserve anything.”

“Don’t say that. I’d give you the world if I could.”

You sighed, leaning into him. There was no denying how comforting Jack Daniels was. “You’re just saying that to be sweet.”

Jack pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’m not sweet to just anyone.”

“Sure, J,” you sniffed, “Is something burning?”

“The pancakes,” Jack confirmed.

“Jack!”

“What? I had to pick my battles. You were more important.”

“Sunshine, you can’t just do that!” The term of endearment lost to you. You stood and rushed into the kitchen. The room was grey with smoke. Taking the skillet off the stove you stuffed it into the oven.

Jack opened up the windows, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. 

You raised a brow, “What got you so happy?”

“Nothin’ pretty lady. But take a seat, I promised you a breakfast and you’re getting one.”

Jack went to go grab a fan and pointed it to the window, pushing out more smoke. He pulled out a bar stool and motioned for you to sit down. Your luck had been shit lately and he was hell bent on giving you a nice day. A good homemade breakfast would be a nice start. 

“Now, sugar, I’mma try out these pancakes again. You need to try this homemade blueberry sauce ma makes. You’re going to love it.” He started to make the works. Eggs, bacon, and pancakes, no clue what you’d actually like so he gave you a selection. Jack served your plate and set a mug of coffee and a glass of orange juice in front of you.

You plucked a piece of bacon from your plate and fed it to Bess who had taken to laying on the floor beside your chair. “This is really too much. You didn’t have to.”

“I know I didn’t, but you’re so cute I couldn’t help myself.” He winked at you, “How else am I supposed to show you I’m prime husband material?”

“You’re right,” you nodded, grabbing your cup of coffee and taking a sip, “I’ll be sure to pass that on to Vanessa. Then again she doesn’t need any convincing.”

He grimaced at that, “Eat your food. Try the syrup.”

You laughed, but did as he said. A mouthful, you moaned almost instantly. “How the hell did I live so long without this?”

“It’s honest to god the best thing in the world.” 

You smiled and he noticed the small wince that followed. In that second he knew he wouldn’t be able to ever see you hurt again. Who could see your precious face and think about hurting you. As far as he was concerned all you deserved was happiness. 

Next Chapter

[danetobelieve]

Who’s Fext? || Luce and Winston

As weird as it was being at a high school alumni event, Winston had to admit that at least Luce was there. She was cool. All the Vurals were. In their own way. If they had been forced to go through something like this alone then they weren’t sure that they would’ve come out of it entirely sane. They were dressed appropriately for the event. Just office wear really, a shirt and trousers, a jacket, sneakers, a hoodie, okay maybe they could’ve made more of an effort. But this was something that they were doing to keep their mother happy, rather then because they really wanted to. “Thank god,” Winston said as they headed out of the hall where the event had taken place, “I wasn’t sure that I could take another “have you ever shot a gun?” question if my life depended on it.” 

Why the high school had wanted her here was beyond Luce. She didn’t think that “tattoo artist at a local shop” ranked all that highly on the list of things that would inspire kids to stay in school. But, she’d spent her day in the art classes, talking to kids about what she did and how her classes had helped prepare her for her career. Which was objectively a lie-- what she’d learned as an apprentice was what had made her successful. But, they didn’t need to know that. Plus, it was good to see Winston here. She’d spent the last five years living out in her cabin, very deliberately avoiding other people. But, it wasn’t bad seeing the neighbor kid again. “You could have just lied. Would have been fun to see the teacher just go wide-eyed and pull the plug on the whole thing.” Luce said with a grin. “I straight up just told the kids that I dropped out of college a semester in.” SHe said as they walked down the hall together.

Laughing Winston couldn’t help but imagine what the AV club kids -- or whatever the current Gen Z equivalent was -- would say if they tried to claim that they had dropped out of college. “I don’t know if it would work as well for me if I tried to lie about dropping out of college or anything like that, if anything I think that they would know that there is no way that I can actually make it anywhere meaningful in my career without college.” They shuffled their feet as they made their way through the corridors of their old high school. High school hadn’t been the best, and they didn’t exactly miss it. Winston hadn’t really found their feet till college and at that point it was nice that they could put high school well behind them. “Besides, I think I’m still too hard wired to be a good student to fuck with a teacher like that. They probably don’t want to be here either.”

“That’s a good point. Your whole deal requires a lot of studying and shit.” Luce said with a nod. Winston had always been good at that sort of thing-- they’d pretty much grown up together, their interests in tech stuff had gone a long way back. “I figured. But, this is why you’re the one with the internship with WCPD. You’re good and law abiding like that.” Stretching, the material of her flannel shirt rubbed against her forearms in an almost suffocating way. She’d figured it wouldn’t have been a great idea to roll up in her usual outfit-- leather jacket, tank, and jeans-- so she’d worn a flannel under her usual jacket. It didn’t hide the tattoos on her hands, but the art teacher had known who she was inviting when she’d extended the offer. As they walked down the empty hallways, Luce glanced down one of the corridors, a smirk growing on her face. “Hey. Do you remember Mr. Blume? Taught chemistry? Wanna pop by and see if he’s still teaching here?”

“I mean, it is all just practice, just a different way of practicing to the work that you do. Besides, my kind of practicing is a lot less permanent then yours, I don’t know if I would have the nerve to give someone a tattoo, I’d be terrified of fucking up.” Winston swallowed at the thought, imagining how angry they would be if someone gave them a bad tattoo. How did people work their way around something like that? They knew that they definitely didn’t have the spine for it. “Wow, am I that easy to read?” Winston asked with a shake of their head, they tugged at the rolled up sleeves of the shirt they had worn today, wishing that they had taken a leaf out of Luce’s book and dressed more casually. A t-shirt would’ve been more comfortable. AS they moved down the corridors and headed towards the classrooms which were called ‘labs’ they found themselves nodding. “Oh hell yeah, I loved Mr. Blume, he was like the best teacher that they had in this place, is he still around?” Winston made their way down the corridors, in some ways it was like nothing at all had changed. Things seemed to be mostly the same and yet they were different. “Think he’s got the same classroom?” 

“That’s why there’s a three year apprenticeship. You practice on oranges for a long time, then pig skin, then yourself.” Luce said, rolling up her sleeves and showing them a faded and honestly kind of shitty crescent moon she had on the inside of her wrist. It was far from her best work, but she kept it as a reminder of how far she’d come in the last few years. “You just work until you’re too good to fuck up.” She said with an easy shrug. “And, you’re only easy to read cuz we grew up together, goofball.” Luce teased. As the two walked down the hall, she couldn’t help but smile a bit wistfully. High school hadn’t been too bad for her, honestly. She’d had to deal with being known as “Bea’s Little Sister” for a while, but by the time Nell and Winston got to high school, she’d carved out her own little niche in the art wing. “He might. I just remember blowing shit up when we learned about combustion reactions. That was fun.” She said with a smile. 

“Three years of training so that I could potentially ruin someone’s skin permanently,” Winston chuckled and shrugged, “I don’t think after all of that I would trust myself to do a really good job. But then again I was never the artist that you were.” They glanced at the tattoo and raised an eyebrow. “Damn, you actually did tattoo yourself, that must have been a weird experience.” Luce really seemed to be in her element when it came to tattoos and Winston was kind of impressed. “True, I think when you’ve known a family as long as the Dane’s and Vural’s have known each other then you really get good at reading people, I know exactly what it means when your mom purses her lips. You know how she does.” Winston hadn’t loved high school, they’d not exactly been popular and they’d had friends but they’d also had … well not friends. “He once dropped a tiny bit of sodium straight into a puddle for the class, I don’t think that the janitor ever forgave him for it,” they strutted down the corridor and paused outside of his classroom, peering through the little square window of glass set into the door, Winston spotted him working at the desk at the front of the class. “Hey, he’s in there, you wanna say hi?”

“Eh. It’s all about practice. Some people might start with talent, but that doesn’t mean shit compared to consistent practice.” Luce said, a hint of humor in her tone. That statement could be applied to magic as well. Bea had always been the focus of their parent’s attention, the first born, the one with the flare their parents were looking for. But talent didn’t measure ability. At the mention of her mother, Luce full body shuddered, shaking her head at the mere thought. “You’re not wrong in the slightest.” She agreed. Yet another quote-unquote benefit of living with her sisters… their mothers increased ability to meddle in her life. She fucking hated it. At least when she was in the woods, she’d had some physical distance to keep her family out of her life. Laughing, she grinned at Winston. “That sounds just like him. He is? Shit, yeah, let’s go in there.” Pulling open the door, Luce grinned and waved a hand. “Hey there, Mr. Blume. Still kicking huh?”

“I guess it’s like a musical instrument, the more that you work on it the more confident you are, but also the more able to deal with unexpected shit you are able to be… though I hope with tattoos you don’t often have to deal with any surprises.” Winston laughed gently at the idea of a surprise arising during a tattooing session. That wouldn’t be ideal. Obviously. “It’s nice that you’re back around, I know you had to do your time in the woods and stuff, but it’s cool to actually see you and Nell and Bea more now, there were a couple of years when I was in college and Nell was travelling, kinda felt like you guys were on a different planet you know.” The Vural family had always been beyond good to Winston and they would never forget that goodness. They had given them a lot and they would do whatever they needed to feel as if they were on equal footing once more. Following Luce into the classroom, Winston waved as well. “Hey Mr. Blume, can’t believe you’re still stuck here right…” they fell silent as Mr. Blume’s eyes snapped up and locked with Winston’s leaving a chill to trickle down their spine as they realised something was wrong, “you okay Mr. Blume?” 

“Yep, pretty much. Eh,” Luce paused, thinking about the strange walk-in tattoo that she’d just done the other day. “There are some surprises that can happen. Usually just people saying they’re ‘totally fine’ and then passing out on me. When you decide to get a tattoo, just be honest with your artist.” She advised. At their mention of the time when the family was spread all over the place, Luce’s joking expression wavered for a moment. If Winston thought they were on a different planet then, then call her a fucking astronaut. She’d rather be back in her cabin than living with Bea and Nell. She’d had an entire place to herself, now she had a room and a shed. A great shed, but still a shed. As soon as the two of them stepped closer, Luce’s eyes narrowed, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. There was something off, something evil about Mr. Blume. Not in a typical science teacher way either. In straight up, that’s some bad shit kind of way. As Winston moved closer, Luce grabbed them by the shoulder. “Don’t--” Before she could finish that sentence, Mr. Blume vaulted over his desk and hurtled towards them with unnatural speed.

Winston frowned for a moment, “I definitely think that I would be the type to think that I was totally fine when in actuality I would be moments away from passing out, besides, I’m not exactly the best with blood and shock and stuff…” they sighed and shook their head gently before continuing. “Either way, if I do get a tattoo I will do everything that I can to be entirely honest with whoever is putting a permanent mark on my body. Seems like it is in my best interests really.” They noticed Luce’s expression and immediately realised that she hadn’t felt the same. But now didn’t exactly seem the time to ask her about it, so Winston decided that they would simply have to ask about it later. Or not at all. Depended on how they felt it would be received. They didn’t want to intrude after all. “Fuck, run,” Winston didn’t need to see the empty look in Mr. Blume’s eye, they didn’t need to see the way that they had cleared that desk with a single bound and they didn’t need to see the bee line that they were making towards them, “run run run.” They were pushing Luce out of the door and sprinting after them. “I don’t remember Mr. Blume doing that when we had chemistry together, even when I forgot my homework a few too many times.”

As soon as Mr. Blume yeeted himself over the desk, Luce had already turned on her heel and started sprinting away. Thank god she didn’t go running this morning, her legs were fresh and she needed the extra oomph, given she was hauling ass in heavy fucking boots. “Less quipping, more running!” Luce yelled over her shoulder as she booked it down the hallways. The school was empty, which worked out in their favor. But, as she looked behind her, Luce saw that Mr. Blume was hot in pursuit and gaining fast. There was something about his eyes, a dead look behind them, that just screamed ‘oh fuck no’ to her. “This way! Shortcut outta school!” Grabbing Winston’s arm, she pulled a hard right down one of the hallways towards one of the back entrances she’d used to cut class back in the day. Here’s hoping the door lock was still busted. As they neared the double doors, Luce kicked her foot out to push open the door and ran outside into the darkness. 

It was all that Winston could do to stop themselves from screaming and swearing. Something that they weren’t about to do in front of someone who they had grown up in semi awe of. “Good idea, more running,” Winston said as they glanced over their shoulder and realised that Mr. Blume was easily keeping pace, in fact they might’ve even been gaining on them. Winston was sure that if Mr. Blume had seen them back in the day then they would’ve definitely told them off for running. Luce seemed to know exactly where they were going however, and as Winston saw that Mr. Blume was maybe seconds behind them they tried to pack on a final burst of speed as they exploded out of the school and into the perpetual night. “My car is in the car park, we should just get the fuck out of here and get someone more qualified to deal with this to help.” Things were going well, they were really making progress, they were getting further and further away and then of course, Winston Dane, the clumsiest person in the world had to have two left feet and trip over a curb. 

Luce nodded at Winston’s plan-- it was as good an idea as any and whatever the fuck Mr. Blume was clearly wanted both of them dead. He looked human enough, so maybe if they lured it to the police station, the police would just riddle him with bullets and that would end that situation? Just make up some story about the guy going nuts and trying to murder them? But, as soon as they made it out into the parking lot, Winston tripped and fell over the edge of the curb. Pausing to help them up, Luce gritted her teeth together as she saw that Mr. Blume had not, in fact, been tricked by the sharp turn. “Fuck it.” She said, glancing over her shoulder to make sure she and Winston were the only ones around before holding her hands out and letting free a burst of magic. A ball of fire the size of a softball, concentrated and burning a bright white, soared from her hands towards Mr. Blume. “Get fucked, old man!” She yelled. But, instead of engulfing him in flames, something weird happened. The fire seemed to dissipate, recede, the colors growing dimmer and dimmer until there was nothing but smoke in front of him. 

After learning the truth about the Vural family, Winston had suspected that Luce could also do magic too, but they weren’t about to admit that to them without letting them explain it first. But apparently when she had thrown a literal ball of bright white fire at Mr. Blume, that wasn’t something that they were going to need to do. “Yeah, get fucked…” Winston had made it to their feet just in time to see the fire expand around Mr. Blume, it should’ve burned them away and yet the magic just seemed to dissipate and vanish as if the oxygen around them had been snuffed out, “okay we should definitely run,” Winston said sprinting past Luce and grabbing her hand, pulling her towards their complete shit mobile. Their ankle twinged gently as they ran, the mostly healed wound that they’d received from the weird gremlin thing at UMWC not loving the amount of aerobic exercise that they were getting. Looking back, Winston tried to think of something that would buy them more time, do anything to get them more space, they had a plan, but it would take them a minute to enact it and they wanted to make sure they were in the car first. 

The effort of throwing the ball of fire barely winded Luce, but it was the irritation of watching the man just continue to pursue them that really got to her. What the fuck? How did he just do that? There was no way that he would have been able to just… dissolve her magic like that. It was a fucking fireball. Letting out growl under her breath, she raised her hands again, intent on nuking this man into the ground. But, before she could conjure up another ball of flames, Winston had grabbed her hand and yanked her towards their car. “I can take him!” She protested, but when she saw the way that they were limping, she gritted her teeth. Even if she wanted to try and duke it out with Mr. Blume, there was no way that Winston would be able to manage. They shouldn’t be caught in the middle of this shit. “Ah screw it, the car it is.” She said, running ahead towards the familiar looking vehicle. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” She yelled, watching as Mr. Blume continued his relentless pursuit after them. 

“You can absolutely take him I am completely and totally sure of it, but at the same time the guy just absorbed what looked like a white hot fireball, which by the way was very very cool, and I don’t really want to find out what the hell else they can do.” Winston reached into their pocket and dropped their keys immediately. Great. “Uh, if you could throw a few more fireballs at him whilst I get the keys then that would be great,” Winston was already pressed flat to the tarmac of the car park, they were wriggling under the very greasy and dirty underside of their car in an attempt to reach their keys, praying that they would be able to get them before whatever the hell Mr. Blume was got to them first. Somehow they didn’t think that when their old chemistry teacher got their hands on two of his former students that he was going to explain covalent bonds to them or quiz them on the periodic table. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Luce groaned, but stepped up to bat nonetheless. Rolling her sleeves up, she took a deep breath. Calm. Steady and calm. Disregard the neighbor kid behind her fumbling with their keys, completely ignore the murderous chemistry teacher on a warpath. Just straight up forget the fact he’d made her fireball completely vanish in a puff of smoke. None of that mattered, none of it. There was only the fire inside her. The burning, white hot energy. Flames she so carefully stoked and tended to, urging her onwards. And all she had to do was let them free. With a sharp exhale, Luce held out her hands and jets of red hot fire streamed out from her palms. Not fireballs, he’d already demonstrated he didn’t give a shit about those. No, she was going for volume this time. The parking lot lit up with the red hot glow of flames, shooting twenty feet in front of her from both of her hands. Aiming at the ground, she urged the magic on, fueling the fire to burn, even on the empty asphalt. Pulling back her hands, sweat dripped down the side of her face as she glared triumphantly at Mr. Blume, who had stopped for a moment on the other side of the flames. 

As Winston’s fingers curled around the ring of their keys, they dragged them towards them and managed to bound up to their feet, slipping their keys in the lock of the car they pulled the door open and slipped the keys into the ignition. As they turned it and heard the car roll over a few times before sputtering into life, Winston thanked whoever had given them luck today because their car never ever started first time. Turning around, they were just in time to see Luce’s hands fire … well flames in great jets in front of them. A huge wall of fire erupted into life and Mr. Blume was hidden from view. Winston’s jaw fell slack and they were awe struck by the sheer display Luce had made. They’d managed small magic but nothing as big as what Luce had just done. For a moment, Winston was convinced that she’d saved them. Second time lucky right? And then, the most terrifying thing that Winston had ever seen happened. Mr. Blume appeared inbetween the flames that licked the open air, and then stepped through the magical inferno, causing the flames to shy away from their form as they made their way forwards. The heat seemed intense however, and Winston was convinced that they could see some of the skin on Mr. Blume’s face sizzle in the heat of the air, but they were through the wall of fire and making their way towards the car. “Luce, get in now!” they snapped, throwing the door open as they spun the car around and revved the engine, ready to speed away. 

The second Mr. Blume vanished from sight, Luce had a fleeting moment of exhilaration. She’d done it, she’d made him back off. Maybe she’d even-- before she could get too happy, he appeared again, in the middle of the flames. Her magic was repelled away from him, skirting around his form as he took a slow step towards her. His eyes stared at her, unflinching, entirely focused on her. A chill ran down her spine and she recoiled. “What are you?” She asked, more to herself than to him. Before either of them could respond, Luce heard Winston’s car roar to life, heard them yell at her to get in. They didn’t need to tell her twice. Turning tail, she ran for the door and slid inside, slamming the door shut. Grabbing hold of the Oh Shit Handle, she stared through the window as Mr. Blume continued to come for them. “Let’s get the hell outta here!”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” Mr. Blume was sprinting towards them, Winston could hear their footsteps and see them hurtling towards them in their rear view mirror. They shifted gear, slammed their foot on the accelerator and felt the wheels spin in place for a moment before the car shot off. Keeping their eyes bouncing back from their mirrors and the windscreen, Winston reached inside of themselves and harnessed the well of energy that they accessed in times of magical need. Taking a deep breath, they began chanting under their breath. Mr. Blume was moving with surprising speed and Winston could see them cutting across the car park as Winston was forced to weave between the cars that were still parked here, which wasn’t many. As they reached the exit to the school, Winston turned left and finished their incantation. As they turned left an identical copy of their car appeared to peel off towards the right. Winston slammed the speed on, heading towards the one place that they could think of which might have some information on what the hell this all was and what was going on here. “Fuck, that was really fucking close.” 

As they zipped out of the parking lot as quickly as Winston’s car would allow, Luce slumped in the back seat, panting from the effort. Doing a mental check of her energy levels, she grimaced. She’d expended more of her energy on that than she’d originally thought she would. And it didn’t even phase him. What the fuck was Mr. Blume? As she stared out the window of the car, she was startled to see an illusion of their car appear in the middle of the road. What? That wasn’t her. Which meant… Leaning forward, Luce grabbed the back of Winston’s seat to stabilize herself. “Winnie. When were you gonna tell me you were a spellcaster, huh?” She asked, exhaustion letting her annoyance come through in her tone a bit more than she intended. 

Perspiration beaded on Winston’s forehead as they slammed their foot down as hard as it would possibly go. They knew that they needed to eat, but they would have to do that later. But they’d found that for them, after using any amount of magic it was important to have a sudden and ferocious hit of calories as soon as possible to avoid too much of a deficit. “Sorry, I ….” they swallowed, “towards the beginning of this year I found out about all of this and I just haven’t been telling people about it because honestly I’m not very good and I also know that with Miriam Flemming out there it isn’t exactly safe to be broadcasting that information.” They took a left, then a right, then three more lefts, then two rights and another right, finally convinced that they were safe, they turned the wheel and headed for the old Scribe building. “But, we need to work out what that was and how we’re going to deal with it, because Mr. Blume is too dangerous to just leave to their own devices apparently, but I have a place we can go.” 

[batboys-and-other-messes]

Elevator (Tim Drake X Fem!Reader)

Requested: NO A/N:  This was supposed to be short and sweet and then I lost control …. I had a conversation with @sassyshoulderangel319 (I can already type that url out by heart) about this post and which one I would choose and then somehow this formed in my heart and jesus, it was such a good idea. I put it under a Read More because it's ridiculously long and seriously… But I hope you guys like it!! Word count: 6256 (YES You read correctly. I lost control) Warning(s):  Claustrophobia Tagged: @icequeen206 @crescent-bluemoon @nanna-the-batmum @xoleaox @sleep-depiravation [You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]

Your feet dragged across the floor as you walked towards the elevator. 

Today was one of these days again. The kind that never ended and just seemed to drag on to eternity.

Your Head was pounding, your eyes were tired and your legs felt like someone had filled them with metal and put a magnet underneath the whole floor.

The building was already empty, which wasn’t a surprise at that time. It was already well past midnight and even the cleaning staff had been there and left again. You were alone, walking down the hallway.

Well, technically ‘alone’ except the one old guy who was lying there on his desk. You weren’t even sure if he was still alive but from what you heard through the gossip of the others, he just went through a nasty divorce and practically lived at his desk.

Poor Robert.

Well, at least he had a desk.

You knew you shouldn’t complain. You got a summer job at Wayne Enterprises. It was an opportunity some of your classmates would kill for, but there was always a catch with these kinds of things. What you didn’t expect when you signed all these confidentiality agreements was that your supervisor would be a lazy asshole that made you do all kinds of things you shouldn’t have to do.

But you had no say in the matter. Absolutely none.

So you sucked it up and got shit done.

And now that you had carried all these binders to the upper floor it was time to go down, get a taxi and sleep through tomorrow, your day off.

Almost lifelessly you pressed the elevator button, feeling like your finger might break from that little action.

Even the buttons up here were posh. The only thing missing was diamond-encrusting them. Maybe the Top floor had butlers that pushed the buttons for them?

You smiled at your own stupid joke, glad that nobody saw you. The doors opened and you stepped in. You pressed the last button and took out your phone. You haven’t had time to glance even once at it and were surprised to find 9 missed calls and about three dozen different messaged on it.

You were popular?

You expression fell when you saw that all of them were from your best friend.

The elevator moved but instead of going down it started to rise and you groaned internally. Someone from the higher-ups was still in the building, at this time?

You focused back on your phone. You phone signaled that it was very low on battery but you just clicked it away before you opened the newest messages and started to read them.

BITCH did you die or did you forget how to use your damn phone?? ANSWER ME Or do you think you are better than me now that you have a JOB and a PURPOSE in life? smh Hello??? You need to humble yourself Anyways, I have good news I’m gonna assume you asked ‘Oh Jenny, what good news?’   I found your lonely ass a boyfriend. I know, I know, thank me later Or thank me now Well, its actually gonna be a double date And I kinda already promised you’ll come I swear he’s cute Kinda Mine is They are brothers But he also has a sister, if you’re not in the mood for a guy? Don’t think I haven’t noticed your gay tendencies towards batgirl ANYWAYS Sorry to break your coming out? Or is it rather a Passing BI? haha Yeah okay, that was a bad one That’s what you get for ignoring me Bitch

You closed your eyes as you heard the elevator ding, and the doors open. You were too tired for this shit. Way too tired for any of this.

Also, who wasn’t gay for Batgirl?

That was normal, right?

You started typing out your reply, too focused not to use too many curses and to keep her family out of it, to even notice the stranger that entered.

A moment passed and suddenly everything happened at once. You hit send, then the elevator shook, it stopped with a BANG, your phone died and the lights went out.

It all happened in the blink of an eye and for a moment you thought you had died.

And suddenly, your realized your situation.

‘I am stuck in an elevator’, was the only thing you could think of.

The person next to you sighed deeply and you let out a scream and jumped to the nearest wall.

‘WE are stuck in an elevator’

Fuck.

You took in a shaky breath as you felt cold and hot at the same time. Your sleepiness was gone, being replaced by a thousand pictures of crashing elevators and that one weird X-Factor Episode where (supposedly) death himself was in one and you only heard the screams of these people and you really didn’t want to die in an elevator with a stranger. You had so many things you still wanted to do! Hell, you haven’t even paid your student loan yet! 

Though this thought calmed you a little bit.

Fuck capitalism.

“Hey” A male voice spoke up somewhere from the left. “Are you okay?” he asked and you gulped.

Okay, (Y/N), don’t show him that you’re having a panic attack.

“No.” you answered truthfully.

Yeah okay, that didn’t go as planned.

Maybe it was the adrenalin or the utter terror in your bones,  but you weren’t really able to lie right now.

“It’s gonna be okay. We’ll just have to find the emergency-button.” He said and he sounded young. Something about his voice and the way he said it made you feel calmer but the fact that you were locked in here with a stranger unnerved you.

You nodded, realizing that he couldn’t see you, you added a quick “Okay.”

You moved towards where you remembered the buttons to be and suddenly you felt a hand and you yelped.

His hands were cold.

“Oh sorry.” He apologized and you heard him press a button, once.

You two waited and he pressed it again.

After pressing it about fifteen times nothing happened.

The darkness was getting to you and your hands started to sweat as you cursed yourself for not taking the elevator with the glass walls and the freaking panorama view. At least the moon would’ve provided some light but no, you were lazy and took the first one you saw.

“Weird.” The guy said and you didn’t answer. But it seemed like he was more talking to himself. “Usually the emergency generator should’ve turned on by now. And if that one failed the backup should’ve been enough to at least power the elevators.”

Maybe he was just thinking out loud but every single word filled you with a deeper sense of dread. 

Was it common knowledge how many emergency-generators this damn building had? What did this mean? Where you going to die in here?

You heard some rustling and then a sigh.

“My phones dead.” He said and you couldn’t for the life of you figure out if he was talking to you or if he just really enjoyed his own voice.

Either way, every statement that left his mouth wasn’t good.

“I guess we have to wait.” He said and you nodded again which, of course, he couldn’t see.

“Okay” you managed to say meekly.

A silence settled between the two of you and it wasn’t one of the good kind. It was rather the “My crush just saw me scratch my ass and pick my nose while farting” kind of silence that made one want to fling oneself out of the nearest window and into certain death.

It was very awkward silence.

You heard the guy clear his throat. “Uhm… Hello.”

Oh shit, he wanted to converse.

You started to hyperventilate for the fifth time in the span of a second before you almost slapped yourself.

Get your shit together, (Y/N). It’s a conversation. You can do this. Remember? You had plenty of conversations in your life!

But how should you answer? ‘Hello’ would sound too stiff. ‘Hi’ would sound like you were best friends and you didn’t even know this guy. But going back to Hello would signal to him that you wanted to talk which you actually didn’t. Meaning you wanted to have a conversation with him because it seemed to calm you down but you didn't want to be trapped in the social construct of a conversation and then accidentally make it really awkward and end up trapped in a long awkward silence knowing that he would judge you for the whole time you two were trapped in there. You really didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of someone who might be the last person to see you alive.

“Okay, I guess you don’t want to talk.” He said slowly and he sounded so unnervingly calm.

“Yes. I mean No. I mean No I- I mean I don’t want to talk. I mean I don't want not to talk- Ugh. I WANT to talk but I tried to negate it twice and it came out sounding like I didn’t want to talk when in fact I do.” You said and you mentally slapped yourself for that.

Great thinking, (Y/N). No more freestyle-conversation for you until you learn how to act like a person, you moron.

Suddenly you heard him chuckle at that before he started to laugh as quietly as he could. It seemed very sincere and gave you the more reason to slam your head against the wall. But you didn’t.

“Don’t worry, I get it.” he said and you wondered if he was lying.

“What’s your name?” he asked and you blurted out “Nineteen.”

A second passed.

“Your name is Nineteen?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

“No. I-I am nineteen years old. My name is (Y/N). I don’t know why but I thought you asked for my age because everyone here asks for my age first since this is actually just a summer job, you know and yeah.” you said. 

You didn’t know why you were still alive right now.

“Oh, cool. You got a summer job here?” He continued as if he still thought you were a sane person and you were very grateful for that.

“Y-Yeah. There was this representative at my college and I won the contest for a ‘summer job’. Depending on how I do, I might even get a permanent job offer for when I’m done with college.” You said. 

Your feet were hurting you and as if he could hear your thoughts you heard him sit down on the dirty elevator-floor before you could even ask yourself if it was okay for you to do so.

“Oh yeah, I heard of that. Congratulations, by the way.” His voice came from his sitting position. There was a smile in his voice and a sincerity you haven’t heard in a long time from someone else.

“Thank you.” You said, mimicking him and sitting down too. Your foot bumped against his when you tried to stretch your legs so you immediately pulled them back and just crossed your legs.

“What’s your name?” you asked, seemingly way calmer than before.

There was a moment of hesitation before he answered.

“Tim.” He said and you silently nodded.

“Hi, Tim.” You said and he let out a short chuckle.

“Hi (Y/N).”

“Do you think we are going to die here?” you asked.

“Okay, that escalated quickly.” He mumbled more to himself before you heard him continue.

“No. This building is very safe. The only thing worrying me is why our phones didn’t work. Mine is always charged and the backup generators should work anyways unless someone turned them off on purpose.”

You knew his words were supposed to be aimed at you but somewhere in the middle of it, he seemed to be talking to himself again. You still continued to listen.

“Well, my phone was low on battery anyway.” You said and he stopped at that for a moment.

“Mine was fully charged.” He said.

A pause.

“When did it turn off?” he asked and something in his voice made you answer it immediately.

“The same second the lights went out.” you said and even you realized how weird that sounded. There was still a little bit of battery left, a text message couldn’t possibly drain that much energy at once.

He was quiet for some time.

“What... does that mean?” you asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know yet, but it's not a good sign.” He said before he quickly added. “I still think we are safe here. Its probably a robbery of some kind and the energy will be back as soon as they are done.” He assured you and you didn’t believe a word he said.

“Bullshit.” You said forcefully in his direction.

“If what you just implied was true and someone messed with the energy enough to turn both our phones off at the top of the building then that’s definitely not a normal robbery. It's probably something bigger. Like super-villain big. So stop lying to me.”

You let your words hang in the air between the two of you and you just wished you could see his expression right now.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He said after a while and you were surprised that he didn’t try to lie his way out of this.

“I didn’t want to worry you because you already seemed pretty freaked out.” He explained and you could understand that.

“Fair point.” You said and you both fell into your own thoughts again as the silence started.

“Hey, Tim?” You spoke after a while, which felt like an eternity. “Is Tim short for something? Like Timothy? Or Timotheus? Or is it just Tim?” you asked, hoping he wouldn’t ask why you would voice such a stupid question.

“Timothy.” He said and you could swear could hear him laugh but he didn’t make a sound. “But I prefer Tim.”

“Oh, so Timothy, like the Wayne one.” You said. “Or was it Drake-Wayne? Was it just Drake? Like the rapper? Shoot, Maybe I should know this since I'm working here. I hope they don’t quiz me on this or else it would really be embarrassing. I don’t even know how many children Mr. Wayne has. Is there like a chart or something?? They don’t quiz the employees here, do they?” you talked yourself into panic again.

“No. They definitely don’t.” he stated calmly and you were sure he was making fun of you.

“I mean they shouldn’t… It’s a weird thing to ask someone. And if someone does, just shoot a random number and make something up. That's what I like to do, anyway.” He said and you nodded, making a mental note of that.

“Right.” You said.

“You get anxious really easily.” Tim broke the silence absentmindedly.

“Yeah, It’s the Anxiety.” You shot back and it made him laugh again.

“Yeah, I figured. It was like my second guess.” He said and you smiled.

“Second? What was your first guess then?”

“The first was that you’re secretly the criminal responsible for this. Maybe your escape plan had failed and now that you’re trapped here with a civilian your cover is about to be blown.” 

You would lie if you said you wouldn’t like to hear the rest of this story.

“Wow.” You said. “That’s… very specific…. Su- Suspiciously specific.” You said, letting that sink in.

“Are you trying to tell me something with this, Timothy?” Was that even his real name?

“No.” The pause before he spoke was way too long for your comfort.

Way too long.

“And please call me Tim.”

“I’m curious now. Was there like… a third theory you had?” you licked your dry lips in nervousness.

“Yeah. That you’re nervous because of me.”

“Well, I certainly am now.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really. You could be a murderer for all I know. I mean you are so calm while we're stuck here, that kinda screams psychopath. And your name is Timothy. I dunno, there are a lot of red flags here.” You rambled on, not even sure yourself if you’re joking or not. But you mostly were.

“Hey, whats wrong with Timo-“

Suddenly you felt the elevator drop an inch and you almost pissed yourself.

Then the lights flickered and there was suddenly light illuminating the elevator.

“Oh, the lights are back on.” He said, looking up before he stood up again, pressing the emergency button. There was a voice that came from the speakers above and you registered him saying something but you didn’t really catch what he was saying as you just kept staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.

It was him.

Timothy Drake-Wayne.

FUCK.

It was him all along.

What the fuck did you say to him?

You were sure you insulted him at least three times in the span of this conversation and he didn’t even say a word! And looking at him now he sure looked a lot more handsome than he did in the papers and he was your boss in some kind of way, no, he was the boss of your bosses boss and you just called him a murderer and you would probably be kicked out the next thing right now and you wouldn’t even mind because why the fuck did you have to run your mouth like this?!?

“This might take a while. So, where were we?” he asked, letting himself slide down before glancing at you again.

“Right. I was possibly a psychopath.”

“I am so so so sorry.” Your face exploded in all shades of red as you pressed your lips together, avoiding his eyes at all cost.

“What for?” he chuckled with a lopsided smile. “I mean the name thing was kinda rude and I honestly want to know whats wrong with my name but you were just being honest.” He shrugged and you kind of wished the elevator would plunge to you to death. “Not many people here tell me that to my face.”

“Yeah, but it was only because I couldn’t see your face!”

“Why? Whats wrong with my face now?”

“Nothing! Its ridiculously stunning and it belongs to the guy owning this damn elevator.” You almost cursed.

“Bruce Wayne owns it.” He corrected you and he seemed surprised by your choice of words. “... and thanks?”

“You’re his son.” You retorted.

“Adoptive son.”

“Same thing.”

At that he paused, looking at the corner of the elevator. “No. Not according to some people.”

You stopped mid-thought.

“Oh.” You said, not knowing what else to say. 

But you had already shot yourself in the leg once, so why not reload?

“But why should it matter what other people think? It’s not their decision to make how you feel towards someone. Or what your relationship with them is.” You looked at your hands, fumbling with your fingers as you felt his eyes on you.

“Sometimes… biological parents… aren’t good.” you added.

Your heart was beating and you knew he was watching you but he didn’t say a word. He just listened to you, waiting for you to speak out what you were thinking. What you were implying.

You weren’t sure if you could.

“Are yours?” he asked and it felt like a little nudge. Soft but present. Like a calm hand on your shoulder, encouraging you to make the step.

What was it with him? How could he make you feel so calm with just his voice? With just his presence?  With this look in his eyes that you didn’t even have to see.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m eighteen..” You said. “It shouldn’t matter”

“Maybe it shouldn’t,” he said. His knees were up and his arms rested on them, crossed. He didn’t look like the co-owner of a company. He just looked like a guy with a lot on his mind. And lusciously messy hair. “But it does.”

Suddenly you heard a sound and both of you looked at your phones.

“My phone is on again... And its fully charged?” you said in confusion before he confirmed that his was too.

You both started to type away as you opened your friend's Messages.

Did you die again? HELLOOOOOOO?? You can’t insult my eyebrows and then JUST LEAVE ?!?!? What the fuck is wrong with you?? You know how insecure I am about this

There was a string of other nonsensical messages but you decided to reply immediately before the power went out again.

Stuck in an elevator. Power and phone went off. Just turned on again Still stuck And your eyebrows are shit

You smiled as you saw the bubble pop up, indicating that she was typing.

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? Second of all Are you okay? Did you call for help? Are you alone? Should I call and keep you company?

You quickly glanced over at Tim, as he seemed to be texting someone too, a slight frown on his face before you looked back at your phone.

Nope, not alone

A pause.

And who’s there with you??

You typed.

Theres a guy with me

Old or cute?

Second  And why are these the only two options?

You only realized how true this was when you typed it out. You were definitely attracted to him. Of course, you couldn’t fall for a cute barista or someone else. No, It had to be untouchable people like Batgirl and Bruce Wayne’s freaking son.

At least you weren’t aiming low.

What kind of cute?

Tim Drake

Since when is that a measurement in your book? I mean I won’t complain. He’s cute?

No It’s him.

???

The guy. In the Elevator. With me. Is him.

There was a long pause in which she didn’t even type and you were afraid that she had placed her phone down before you saw the bubble pop up.

Use protection.

You closed your eyes in resignation.

I’m going to slap you

Well, whats the problem?

I insulted him... I think?

Of course you did

I mean it

Thats the problem

Are you going to help me or be useless?

I dunno… My eyebrows are still hurt

JENNIFER

Whoa we’re busting ot the full names now? Heavy.

I’m not good at this?

Good at what?

Talking

I know

Jen...

Seriously, what are you trying to do? Apologize? What am I supposed to help you here with?? Give a girl something to work with!

You thought about your reply for a moment before typing it up.

Flirt?

You died just typing that up.

“I got some good and some bad news,” Tim said.

His voice ripped you out of your thought and you almost dropped the phone in a panic, afraid that he could read what you had just written. You placed it display-down on your lap, blushing.

“W-what?” you asked as you looked at him.

“Well, the good news is that there was a power outage and in the whole city. Something like a force-field-thing but we don’t know more.”

You blinked.

“Why is that good news?” you asked, confused.

“It means nobody targeted this building specifically. We are safe. Locked up but safe.”

Somehow, that made sense. But only in Gotham.

“And the bad news?” you asked.

“There is a lot happening right now and we might be stuck in here for a while because there are other emergencies that happened.” he explained carefully and you nodded.

That meant you would spend some time with him in here.

You glanced at your phone to see what your friend had answered.

Show him your tits

You blocked her.

“You look angry.” You noted, lying on the floor with his jacket underneath your head. He had insisted you take it and you learned how stubborn he could be.

“’M not.” He said absentmindedly while frowning at his phone.

“You sure do.” You said. He probably wasn’t even listening to you.

“Nope.” He said casually.

“Yupp.”

“No.”

“Ye-hes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Stop it.”

“Nope.”

This was fun.

“Who are you texting?” you asked, bored out of your mind. It looked like he was doing something very important and you asked yourself if he was a workaholic. Or maybe he just enjoyed someone else's company more than yours?

Were you that boring?

“My brother.” He said, glancing over at you for a moment with a quick smile and suddenly you felt reassured again.

Damn, he was good.

“Hm.” You just said, not knowing how to answer to that.

“Why did you stop texting?” he asked, still typing away and you turned your head to him.

“What do you mean?” you asked confused.

“When your phone worked again you were texting with someone. And then you stopped.” he stated curiously and you realized that it was a main trait of his. Curiosity.

“My best friend.” You said, circling your finger over your phone that was laying on your stomach.

“But she’s being obnoxious again.” You finished drawing your circles and started drawing them in the other direction.

“How come?”

It was such a simple question but he seemed genuinely interested. At the same time, he wasn’t even looking at you and was typing on his screen. You didn’t know what to make of it.

Talk about mixed signals.

“She’s trying to set me up on blind dates and … she really doesn’t have the slightest clue what my type is.”

You paused a moment and he looked at you, fully.

“Jesus, that sounded stuck-up.” You realized horrified. “W-what I meant is that I don’t even know if I have a type myself and I didn’t mean it in a physical appearance-wise way but its just really uncomfortable when you sit with someone and try to talk to him and its just obvious they are here to hook up with your friend and not interested to talk to you, at all. You know?” You said, squinting up at the ceiling of the elevator, wondering why you just told him that. Why should he care?

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation.

You would probably regret this a lot tomorrow.

“Why... don’t you just tell her no?”

It sounded so simple when he said it.

Because she always agrees first and then it’s my fault when I cancel.

Because she is a little bit manipulative like that sometimes.

Because she keeps playing the victim whenever I do.

There where so many replies you could’ve given him but you didn’t. Instead, you sighed.

“Because I’m a pushover.” you said, and it rang true to you.

“You don’ sound like one.” He said, unsure of how to word it. “Or at least you don’t seem like one.”

“Thanks, guy who knows me for like two hours. At least that means I can fake dominance?”

He clicked his tongue.

“Yeah, ‘dominance’ is maybe a bit far-fetched,” he mumbled.

“Oh, shut up, Timothy.”

“I would really appreciate it f you would stop calling me that.”

“Why? What's wrong with Timothy?”

  “Maybe we should start recording diary entries to keep track of the days that had passed? In case someone finds us too late?”

You had taken off your shoes and his head rested on your bag. He had rolled up his sleeves and his tie was gone and it was seriously dangerous for you to look at him right now.

Somehow being stuck with him for 4 hours fo far made him seem so much more human than you would’ve ever imagined. This wasn’t the rich business-boy you heard of. This was fidgety, curious and sassy Tim. The elevator Tim.

“Jokes on you, I already made seven entries so far. Currently on entry eight, pondering about the symbolism of the elevator.” His Phone was gone and he was staring at the blinking lights with you. Occasionally closing his eyes as he seemed to be just as tired as you were.

In a normal setting you would’ve never been caught dead in such a position but somehow you stopped caring around the first hour that had passed. Social construct couldn’t harm you here anymore. It was a surreal plane of existence.

“Maybe the lights are the light that leads us to the afterlife?” you theorized and you saw him grin at that.

“And the buttons symbolize the levels of hell?” he added

“Heaven and hell.” You corrected.

“We’re somewhere on the top floor. What does that mean?”

You thought about it.

“That Satan and God are fighting for custody and god is winning?” you improvised on the spot.

He let out a laugh.

“Great. I’m gonna get adopted again.”

At that, you burst out laughing.

  “Why do you carry so many chocolate-bars in your bag? Did you raid a vending machine or something?” Tim looked at you, deeply concentrated as he took a bite from one of them.

“Pff, Because I always am prepared for being stranded on a deserted island like in Cast Away, duh.” You said, mockingly.

“And chocolate bars would be your number one priority in such a case?” he raised an eyebrow, crunching at the chocolate-chip one.

“What would be yours, Mr. Know-it-all?” you asked

“Water. Water and shelter, obviously.”

“Yeah, but I can’t exactly carry around a freaking tent with me everywhere.” You chuckled.

“Pff you could. With the right amount of dedication.” He smiled.

“People would think I’m paranoid.”

“A small price for survival, (Y/N).”

“Guess I’ll just die then?” you shrugged.

“Yeah …. Please don’t.”

He smiled weakly but there was something in his voice you couldn’t decipher.

  “Oh, that’s easy.” Tim said, eyes determined.

“I would kill Robin, Marry Nightwing and fuck Red Robin.” He said and you chuckled at the speed of which he answered that question.

“What did Robin ever do to you?”

“Do I have to answer this?” he asked dramatically.

“No, but why marry Nightwing? I want to know your thoughts behind it.”

“He seems like someone you could trust?” he motioned the usual ‘I don’t know’ motion and you accepted it.

“I’m not gonna question the Red Robin part.” You assured him and it seemed to pique his interest.

“Why not? Is it like….. a common thing to want?” he sounded almost worried and definitely confused.

“Well not that I know... but he seems like a loveable dork.” You chuckled. “He saved me once.”

“He… did?” He asked.

“Yeah. I almost walked into traffic once while I was distracted, long story, and he just pulled me back while swinging by and yelled ‘PAY ATTENTION’ and then he slammed against a building.” You laughed softly at the memory. “I felt so guilty for it but he was already gone before I could apologize.”

Tim went silent after that.

“If we ever get out of here, I want to eat a triple cheeseburger. Not the tiny ones. I’m talking about the ones that are as big as my face. The ones you could feed a small family with for three days, you know?”

You were hungry. 

There was more hunger than a few chocolate bars and some bubblegum could satisfy. Maybe it was also just the fantasy of being free and sitting in a fast food joint and stuffing your face that intensified that wish.

You wanted out of there and the need to get up and run was getting stronger and stronger with every passing minute. But at the same time, you wanted to stay and keep talking with him.

He gave you a kind of attention you’ve been desperately waiting and searching for and a part of you felt guilty that maybe he was forced to do so since he had nowhere else to go right now. But it felt so natural and sincere whenever he did that you wished it would never end.

When you didn’t get a response from him you turned your head, only to see him staring back at you. He immediately looked away.

“Y-yeah, me too.” He quickly said and you asked yourself what that look just now was supposed to mean.

  You opened your eyes, blinking at the bright light in the room.

Where were you?

Oh right, you were still trapped.

And you had fallen asleep.

Fuck.

You looked over at Tim, who was sitting up again.

You blushed deeply in embarrassment before you sat up too.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Tim looked at you again with a smile.

“Yeah … Uhm… How long was I gone?” you asked, hesitantly and you watched him look at his phone.

“About an hour.”

Your heart dropped.

“Oh. Thanks.” You couldn’t even believe you had the nerve to fall asleep in a situation like this but you were apparently tired enough to do so.

“What did I miss?” you asked and you definitely noticed how he hesitated and avoided your eyes.

“Your friend called.” He said. “And …. She sounded angry.”

Your heart dropped.

“You picked up??” you asked in disbelieve. What did she say to him?? Oh Dear Lord, please let her have shut her big mouth just once for this time, PLEASE.

“I- I really didn’t mean to pick up! But she called seven times and your phone wasn’t muted and when I wanted to mute it I saw her text of how worried she was and…” he trailed off and it was almost a little bit comforting to see him talk in a frenzy instead of you.

“What did she say?” you asked, having your mental fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

“Nothing much. She kept yelling and when I finally got a word in she hung up.” he said and you never felt more relieved than before.

 “Are you shitting me? That’s what he did??” you couldn’t contain yourself in laughter as you heard the story he had just told you. It made you feel a dozen times better about the ones you had told him before.

“Yeah. Bruce banned spoons after that. Except for the kitchen and dining room, of course.”

You laughed at that, even letting out a snort as you couldn’t contain it.

“No wonder he always looks so tired in all the pictures.” You chuckled.

“Besides that, I still can’t believe you have a dining room. One that you actually use.” You added.

Tim looked away and you had learned in the short time here with him that it meant he wasn’t quite comfortable with that topic.

“Yeah, comes with the job I guess?”

“How often do you guys just … you know, play hide and seek? Or Tag? Do you ever feel tempted?”

Tim chuckled.

“We did, once. We aren’t allowed to do that anymore. We lost Damian for two days and didn’t tell Bruce...” he trailed off.

You laughed again and you didn’t notice how much he seemed to enjoy that sound.

“I don't even want to know how you guys did that.” You said, grinning at the hilarity of it all.

“I’m not even sure I’m allowed to tell you, anyway.” He replied. You glanced over at him, opening your mouth to say something when you both heard a voice from outside. 

You both looked at the door from where the sound came.

It was the rescue workers. And suddenly a timer started to run down in your head that you didn’t know you would start to detest.

It was only a matter of time till this would end.

The men outside started the whole ‘Are you safe’ spiel and you heard Tim answer some of the questions. The only thing you could focus on was what the man had said.

“You’ll be out in 15 to 20 minutes.”

15 to 20 minutes.

That was by far not enough time.

Was it selfish of you to want to sit here with him and keep talking? Listening to his past shenanigans and the way he laughed when you told him yours? The way his brows creased when he was thinking or the completely surprised expression of his when you delivered a good comeback to his sassy remarks?

You probably shouldn’t feel this way anyways.

Wasn’t he technically your boss?

Even though he had told you that he really didn’t like it when you talk to him like he was this big shot, it still didn't change the fact that he was.

Or maybe it was your way of pushing him away? Your way of justifying why he would never be interested in you in this way.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Tim looked down at you and you honestly didn't know how to answer that. You sat up, hearing the workers trying to open the doors as you glanced at the jacket your head was lying on a second ago.

“This is going to sound stupid…” you said, already throwing the idea out of the window until you saw his face. It was concerned, almost worried and a little bit curious.

“Try me.” He said, encouragingly.

“I’m .. gonna miss this.” You said eyes averted to your shoes. The courage he had given you was gone and you wished you could take all that back.

“Being locked in?” he asked and you looked up at him, ready to tell him how stupid that question just was when you saw his smile. He understood.

You two shared a look.

“You know..” he started after a moment. “There is this place, a few blocks from here, that has really good burgers… At least I heard so.”

You chuckled.

“Oh, really? Even cheeseburgers?”

“Yupp. The big ones.”

“Sounds tempting.”

A heartbeat passed.

“Would you want to go with me?”

You thought about it.

“Like as newly formed friends or as a date?”

“Definitely a date.” he paused. “O-only if you want to.”

You could barely contain your smile as you heard the door crack open.

“I would love to.”

[day6imagines]

Find Me - mafia!au

[ jae ]

+ requested 

word count; 3k

genre; angst, fluff, mafia!au

[ your pov]

“They're here!" you called down the hallway.

"Who are here?" Jae jokingly asked. You rolled your eyes playfully at your boyfriend before clicking the button from your apartment that buzzed downstairs, allowing your friends to pass and come up. You loved that you got on so well with your boyfriends friends. You recalled the first time ever meeting them and how nervous you were that they wouldn't like you or something. Instantly, you clicked with them and talking was easy. However, your boyfriend and his friends were far from any other normal twenty year olds. They were part of one of the biggest gangs in your city. When you first met Jae, obviously you were unaware about this. You were furious and utterly distraught and upset with him, especially for keeping it a secret from you. Jae was constantly worried about your safety, but you knew he would protect you, no matter what. Therefore, you knew it was important to  keep away from any of his business and never get involved in anything. You were not stupid and it was dangerous business.

You never even asked Jae or any of his friends about what they were doing, you just focused on your career and life.

You greeted all of Jae’s friends before shutting the door closed behind them and locking. Although all of your boyfriends friends were lovely people, you couldn't help but feel nervous due to their dangerous careers. When everyone was in a room together, you couldn't help but get worried. However, today they were just calling over as normal friends, normal twenty year olds.

After some time passing, everyone sitting down and eating food, you checked to see the time. It had just gone past one in the morning. You lazily stretched your arms, deciding it was time to go since you had work in the morning.

“I'm gonna go, I'll see you tomorrow?” you announced, looking over at Jae. He stood up to give you a kiss goodbye.

“Hey I’m actually going to go too, I could give you a lift home if you'd like,” Dowoon, the youngest of the group offered, also standing up from the couch. You looked over at Jae. He smiled at Dowoon and you, thanking Dowoon for taking your safety into consideration.

Dowoon was an enigma to you. You couldn't comprehend why a guy as young as him was in a gang, a perilous type of lifestyle. All you knew about him was the information Jae occasionally shared with you. He had dropped out of college for reasons unknown to you. Regardless, you pitied him and always treated him like a younger brother, making sure he was okay. Although his exterior appeared shy, you knew he was a lot more. You weren’t in his situation, so you couldn't empathise with him or understand his reasons for getting involved in a gang at his mere age of twenty.

“Thanks Dowoon, I don't want you going out of your way though,” you said, putting your jacket on. Dowoon waved his arm.

“It's no problem, I'm actually heading in that direction anyway,” he reasoned.

“Okay, thank you,” you smiled. You kissed Jae goodbye one last time and waved goodbye to the others before following Dowoon out to his car.

Once outside, Dowoon politely opened the passenger door for you. You smiled and hopped in. You noted the interior of his car was in immaculate condition, no belongings or rubbish strewn about the place. Dowoon offered you some chewing gum, which he you declined. He turned the radio on, not too loud so that you could still talk. Neither of you spoke too much. Honestly, you weren't exactly sure how to talk to him, or what to even talk about.

Dowoon’s eyes were fixated on the busy road ahead of you. You leaned your arm up by the window, resting your head on your arm. Tiredness consumed you, causing you to space out. You looked up when you noticed that your surroundings were unfamiliar.

“Um… Dowoon?” you piped up, raising your head up from your arm.

“Hmm?” was all he responded with.

“Where are we, exactly?” You questioned. You noticed that Dowoon looked tense. His skin had paled and his grip on the steering wheel had tightened, causing his knuckles to turn white. His eyes looked darker as he stared at the road in front of you.

“We have to take a detour. Other roads closed,” he curtly replied, expression neutral and not revealing much.

You knew where you lived. This route (with no other cars passing by) was completely new to you. Where was he going? You never feared him. Out of all of Jae’s friends, Dowoon was probably the one you got along with best as well as trusted the most. You never ever considered being fearful of him. His demeanour was telling you that you probably should be worried.

“Dowoon? Where are going?” You said, voice cracking.

He ignored your questioned, stepping his foot onto the accelerator.

You begged and pleaded, close to tears. What was going on?

You tried to opened the passenger door, but Dowoon must've locked them.

“What're you doing?” You cried for the umpteenth time.

“Please stop talking,” Dowoon spat, eyes growing even darker.

Your hands began to shake, fear engulfing you. You sat still and wrapped your arms around yourself as some sort of comfort. The air in the car had grown freezing cold. You looked out the window and away from Dowoon, utterly terrified and unsure of what was going to happen.

-

After what felt like hours (you weren't actually sure how long you had been driving), Dowoon pulled up to a massive grey building. The sky outside was pitch black outside and still, as if the entire world had gone silent. This made everything that was happening more eerie and unsettling. The building was a dull grey colour and appeared derelict. You took in your surroundings while you could. You didn't know where Dowoon had taken you, but nothing looked familiar.

You discretely pulled your phone out of your back pocket, however Dowoon was quick to catch you. He snatched the phone out of your hand before proceeding to throw it onto the dirty ground causing it to smash.

“There's no use anyways. No reception.” He added, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up to the building.

You didn't even bother trying to fight with him in fear for your safety. A tiny part of you wanted to believe it was a sick joke, but Dowoon looked far too scary and real to be pretending. He had become a totally different person and this frightened you.

Once you both made it up to the entrance of the building, Dowoon quickly typed in a code onto the keypad next to the huge doors. The wooden doors creaked open to reveal two security guards. Dowoon and the guards exchanged nods, Dowoon pulling you inside. His grip was starting to hurt your arm but you knew it was pointless to try and fight with him.

Dowoon brought you through the house too quickly for you to take in the surroundings. What you could tell though was that the house had many rooms. The entire atmosphere felt cold and ominous. Your breathing became heavier and you felt colder.

‘Jae will find me. Someone, anyone, will find me. I will be safe’ you said to yourself in your head to stay sane and as positive as possible.

Dowoon flung a door open to reveal a dark room with only a few wooden chairs and a small coffee table. You were pushed onto a chair where he proceeded to tie your arms and feet to. As he was doing so he spoke.

“I do like you Y/N, I don't hate you and you're a nice person. But I have to do this, I have been given orders… I’m sorry. I’m sorry to you and Jae,” Dowoon said as he finished tying the knots.

Your red and puffy eyes glared at him.

“I liked you too. Jae obviously doesn't know about this? What're you up to?” You hissed, scowling at the man.

“I was given orders, I carry them out,” Dowoon plainly replied, standing up from his previously crouched position.

“What? What is it you're being asked to do? You're not giving me a proper answer!” You shouted at him, trying to prevent your voice from cracking.

Dowoon looked a bit upset for a split second.

“This is what I've been instructed to do,” he plainly repeated.

“You… you're not with Jae’s gang are you?” You said, realisation setting in. Dowoon was a traitor. He never really was with Jae’s gang. You knew very little about gang activities, but you were pretty sure Dowoon was working with a rival gang.

Dowoon laughed.

“Of course I’m not. I've been pretending,” he replied, voice laced with a malicious tone.

Dowoon was a good liar. He deceived all of you into being a sweet, slightly naïve boy who had to join their gang to get by.

Dowoon opened up his phone as you sat tied to the chair, unaware of what was going to happen to you. You never wanted Jae by your side more than you did in this moment.

You looked over to see Dowoon talking to someone on video call, his tone menacing. He laughed to himself, sarcasm evident in his laughter.

“I'm serious Jae-“ You looked up after hearing Dowoon say your boyfriends name.

“She's here. You all believed I was on your sides. But yes, Y/N is at our headquarters. You know what you have to bring to keep her safe,” Dowoon told Jae, his voice dripping with venom. You never saw a person look so stern and scary in that moment and it terrified you that it was Dowoon, the timid and sweet looking boy you knew only a mere few hours ago.

Dowoon turned his phone towards you. You quickly glanced up to see your boyfriend with some of his friends in the background. You looked away, turning your head. You didn't want your boyfriend to see you so weak, defeated and helpless. You heard them gasp.

“Dowoon! I swear if you lay one damn finger on her you'll -“ Jae began yelling into the camera.

“You know what to do. Bye bye Jae,” Dowoon smirked, shutting his phone off and ending the video chat.

“Now. You, stay here and don't make any noise, okay?” Dowoon instructed, bending down to reach your level. You didn't want to looked at him. He sighed before getting up and storming out of the room, slamming the heavy door with a loud thump.

-

[ jae’s pov ]

After speaking to Dowoon I flung my phone down on the floor. How did we fall for his facade? Why didn't I see through him? Now the only thing that mattered in my life was in danger.

“I’m gonna kill him! How could he have played us like this?!” I yelled, anger consuming me.

After Dowoon and Y/N left, we got a call saying to meet our rival gang in the abandoned warehouse we’d normally meet at. It was good Y/N had left. I hated that it hurt her to know when I had to go away for business. She never wanted to get involved and she stayed clear, but I always feared for her safety.

“All right Jae, we’ll make sure we find Y/N safe,” YoungK stated, patting my shoulder. We were still at the warehouse after the meeting. I was beyond furious that the guys that I had just met with were the same guys behind the abduction of Y/N. You were also furious over Dowoon, but you had to focus on finding Y/N now.

“Come on, let's go quick,” Sungjin called, hopping into the drivers seat of your car. YoungK and Wonpil clambered into the back. Wonpil pulled out his laptop and other technical items he used in situations like this where we needed to find and locate people and buildings. YoungK was checking that he had the ammunition we’d need to be prepared. The other gang were dangerous people and you couldn't predict what they had planned. I sat in the passenger seat next to Sungjin, my head turned around to talk to the other two.

Wonpil’s eyes were intently concentrated on the screen of his laptop, the glow of the screen illuminating his face as his fingers typed furiously on the keys of the computer. I worried once I saw the look of confusion on his face. He was obviously having difficulty trying to locate Dowoon and Y/N’s location.

“Wonpil! What’s wrong?” I asked, panic in my voice.

“Jae… They seem to be on to me, they know I’m trying to track them. Dowoon… he knows everything about us and how we operate. There is one thing I could try though,” Wonpil explained.

All four of us sat in the car in silence. The only sound was the clicks from the keys of Wonpil’s laptop.

“I think I got it!” Wonpil exclaimed, eyes lighting up as he continued typing. He spun the computer around so that Sungjin and I could get a clear view.

“Weird. That's only half an hour away. I didn’t think their headquarters were so close,” Sungjin said, turning the keys in the car and already reversing out of the driveway.

-

Th entire car journey I felt like throwing up. Y/N better be safe. I just had to find her and hold her tight.

“Don’t worry Jae, we’ll find her,” Sungjin reassuringly said, his tone calming.

I couldn't utter any words afraid I might crack and break into a cry that I would have no control over. I bit my bottom lip and rested my head in my hands.

Once Sungjin swerved into the massive driveway of the dilapidated building, I swung the car door open. The other three attempted calling me back, before scrambling out of the car and trying to catch up with me.

Sungjin and I usually went to locations with other gangs together while Wonpil would stay in the car busy hacking or doing whatever he had to do on the technological side of things while YoungK would stay hidden nearby, armed and ready to ambush if it came to it.

Wonpil began to type again on his laptop, to see if there was a way to crack their security system.

“This one is tough,” Wonpil sighed frustratingly, running a hand through his hair.

“Ah wait, I got it!” he exclaimed. I smiled at him before Sungjin and I ran over to the entrance where the door had now been opened by Wonpil.

I inhaled a deep breath of air. This is where I would get Y/N back, no matter what was about to happen, I had to ensure that she was safe.

[ your pov ]

In the midst of everything that was happening, you still managed to feel tired and sleepy. However, you jumped up when you heard loud noises and booming voices coming from outside. You tried to listen.

“Where is she?! Y/N? Y/N!” an all to familiar voice yelled.

“Jae!! I'm here! Help Jae please!” You tried to scream back, but your voice was croaky and hoarse. Your cheeks felt sticky and hot from the endless amounts of tears you had cried. Jae was just outside the door. He is here. You'll be safe.

The door flung open to reveal Dowoon, his eyes intense and dark. Two others ran in after him. It was Jae and Sungjin. You had never been so relieved to see either men. Dowoon stood in front of you.

“You know the deal. Give us what we want and you can get her back,” Dowoon said.

You glanced over at Jae and Sungjin to see them looking furious. Jae pulled out a gun and began talking to Dowoon. As Dowoon was distracted by Jae, Sungjin stealthily moved over to you and bent down. He effortlessly untied you from the chair. You mouthed ‘thank you’ to him.

Jae called out Dowoon for being a traitor and demanded answers. You had never seen Jae look so angry, or hold a weapon before since you always stayed out of his gang activities. Dowoon rolled his eyes at Jae and folded his arms.  

“Your precious Y/N is going no where until you hand over what we need,” Dowoon snarled, stepping in front of you. As Dowoon stood in front of you, Jae pulled out his gun and aimed for Dowoon’s left leg. As Jae pointed the gun towards him, Sungjin pulled you away from behind Dowoon. Dowoon fell to the floor, hissing in pain and clutching his leg that was now bleeding heavily,

You ran over to Jae and threw your arms around his neck as if your life depended on it. You sobbed uncontrollably into his neck.

“Shh, shh. I got you, I got you,” Jae whispered over and over as he stroked your hair.

“C’mon, we’d better go before anyone realises what happens,” Sungjin announced, running towards the exit.

“W-will he be o-okay?” you stuttered, looking over in Dowoon’s direction to see him crouched over in pain on the ground.

“He’ll be okay, I promise,” Jae reassured you, gently pulling you out of the room and towards the front door.

Once outside in the cool nights air, you hugged Jae again, his grip becoming tighter as he lifted you up.

“I’ll never let you out of my sight again. I can’t ever lose you Y/N,” Jae whispered, leaning down to kiss you.

m a s t e r l i s t 

[leftwriteb]

Videogames: My Necessary Escapism

You might be surprised to learn, as you’re perusing my site dedicated to videogames, that I’m a big fan of the medium. It’s a form of entertainment that has stuck with me since I first dabbled with them as a young kid but my perspective on them has changed a lot in that time. This year, I’ve come to realise they’re one thing in particular for me: necessary escapism.

I still stand by the fact that I think that videogames are the most spectacular form of entertainment; one that can appeal to everyone and anyone. Anybody that denies that they can be a form of art is someone that doesn’t understand what art is. They’re able to impact you emotionally. They can help you understand ideas you didn’t before. They can help people learn or relearn. They can help people experience new things. And, more to the point, they can allow people to escape their normal lives.

When I look back at some of the games that have stuck with me for years to come, it’s because they’ve given me a chance to escape my everyday life and take my mind off of things. There are a few good examples of this that, given recent events, I’d like to look over…

The first game that I think really gave me a chance to escape was actually Fallout 3 towards the end of secondary school. Anyone that knows me well knows that I’m probably a little too obsessed with the series as the large stash of props, promo items and merch in my wardrobe shrine will attest too. I started playing the game most likely in mid 2009, about 6 months after the game originally released. At the time, most of my friends were busy doing what everyone was likely doing when they were around 16; pairing off with girls, doing dumb stuff and dabbling a little (or a lot) with drugs. As a nerd with no hope of any luck with girls and a tendency to try and be senseible, I didn’t really want to partake in the latter, which meant I ended up missing out on a whole lot else as everyone else spent their summer together. It wasn’t an issue on their part, and it’s not something I hold against them: we just went about things in different ways.

So, while house parties were kicking off and people made plans everyday, I chose instead to stay at home. Over the course of many months, I amassed lord knows how many hours in Fallout 3 while everyone else did other things. I completed it multiple times, earned every possible achievement in the main game and all the DLC’s, collected every rare and unique piece of armour and weaponry, found every location etc etc. I do wonder how things would have changed if I’d instead gone out with my friends during that summer or two and the time around then. Instead I was a fat nerd with awfully long hair that stayed at home 99% of the time. It was quite a lonely time if I’m honest. But Fallout 3 kept me busy, kept me occupied and kept me out of trouble and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

That said, there were a good few games that helped me forge strong friendships with the aforementioned group. To this day, some of my closest friends are still the guys I went to school with. From the start of secondary school, around age 11, all the way to our early 20’s - we’ve changed a lot as people in that time but we are still good friends. Throughout the years, through school and college, third-person cover shooters seemed to be something that was a constant.

It started with the Gears of War series, with solid co-operative campaigns and competitive multiplayer to keep us busy and working as a team. Admittedly, we often just spent time messing around mid-game but we spent so much time within the series over the years that one of us even has a Gears of War tattoo now. Similar experiences surfaced from games like the Division and The Last of Us in the years after. Once again, we found games we were all glued too and that gave us a chance to hang out and talk even while we were nowhere near each other. As we began doing different things, getting jobs and meeting new people, third-person cover shooters seemed to ground us and keep us together. To this day, some of the weird interactions we had in those lobbies come up in conversation. While it’s a shame to see split-screen almost vanish, the release of team-based shooters tends to align us each time.

Animal Crossing New Leaf on the other hand is totally different. It’s a game many would argue is for 7 year old girls. It’s a game about logging in every day and populating your town with adorable animals and learning all about them. You’re not shooting enemies, you’re planting flowers and trees. Despite that, it was a game that I ended up putting hundreds of hours in over the space of 6 years or so, starting with my time at college.

I didn’t have a good time of things in college. I ended up studying there for four years, which is perhaps double what most do, because my first two years went so poorly. There was more to that of course, with a lot of things in my life bringing me lower than I’ve ever been. Everyone else I knew was going on to bigger and better things. I was trying and trying but still failing. I felt totally alone. I was constantly exhausted. I had girl troubles galore and a whole plethora of other things brought me to a pretty damn bad place. It’s not something I ever spoke about at the time. I kept it entirely to myself. It’s nearly completely that way today and is something I try not to talk about for the most part.

That said, the game gave me a way to escape all that to a dumb world full of dumb characters. It also gave me a slight sense of routine and something to focus on. Sure, I felt like I had no control over anything and couldn’t cope but I was able to focus on my little town and enjoy the pointless and childish fun. So much so, in fact, that I played it for months at a time. I’d burn out on it slightly, but sure enough within a few months again I’d be back to playing it nearly every day for weeks and weeks at a time. No matter what was going on in the disaster around me, this colourful stupid game was something simple that I could manage. I eventually managed to pull myself out of the pretty significant slump I was in, but New Leaf stayed with me. It was super pointless really, but I think I genuinely owe that game a lot.

It’s only since the end of 2018 that I found myself back in a state even close to the one I was in during college. As a general rule of thumb I’m a pretty happy and relaxed person, but the past 5 months as of writing have been pretty relentless. One thing after another comes along to kick you while you’re down. Again, it’s something I don’t talk about too much and have only recently begun openly discussing with a few select people as I’ve found myself buckling a little. To those people, I’d also like to say thank you as well. You’re my golden girls and I would be in such a worse state if it wasn’t for you guys.

What was different about the past few months is that it also changed my opinion on games. I usually used them to try and escape things but this time around I found myself unable to enjoy those too. I picked up Metro Exodus at launch and try as I did to enjoy playing it, I just couldn’t. My vast back catalogue just didn’t appeal to me. Nothing I tried to play could take my mind off things. The one thing I could usually rely on wasn’t working. Well, all except for Fortnite. Sure I had plenty of games I had outright spent my money on but this daft free-to-play battle royale was the one that stuck.

I’m still going through a crap time of things now if I’m honest, but having challenges to complete and people to play this with has kept me busy. I’m getting there, if a little slower than I had hoped. Having been through a stage like this before, once I eventually started to realise (thanks to a bit of a nudge) that I was in this kind of place again, I at least know how to tackle it. But Fortnite, as dumb as it is, is the only game I’ve really been playing for more than 10 minute stints. Nothing sells escapism more than watching a woman dressed as a cactus plant shotgun a ninja in the face and then dance in front of his dying body.

Maybe the fact I’m not too terrible at it has some merit, I mean who doesn’t like a little useless ego boost? But it’s also thanks to Fortnite that I met one of the most wonderful people I’ve had the pleasure to meet in years. The game led to me sharing so many laughs with someone my sides sometimes genuinely hurt. I have both the game and her to thank for that. And though that’s seemingly fallen apart and I have nobody but myself and my social ineptitude to blame, I can at least say that the game was good fun when I had decent company. I do wonder if that fact that I can’t seem to escape into games as I normally would is partly to blame for this ongoing slump? Whatever the case, this daft game and the joy I had playing duos gave me at least a little respite from being repeatedly kicked while I was down.

It’s not exactly on-brand for me to write such personal pieces. As it stands, I’m trying to throw myself into my work across various projects in order to keep me sane and busy and with games currently not holding my interest, it got me to thinking why I often play them to begin with. I have no doubt there are many like me that play them for the exact same reasons. A chance to escape the norm is a welcome one. I may well test the patience of plenty of people around me and I might be struggling to keep a pretend smile on my face but for anyone that happens to read this and finds themselves in a similar situation, know that things do get better.

From experience, I can tell you that there’s no real way of knowing how long that can take. Could be a week. A month. Maybe 6 months like I’m finding at the moment. But whatever you do, find what allows you to switch off a little. Do what makes you happy. Talk to people about it if you need to. Just do what you can to try and make things better for you, and be grateful for those people that stick with you. Videogames are, normally, my necessary escapism. Whatever yours is, indulge in it and don’t be ashamed of the fact that you might not feel ok. Nobody is happy all the time. Just know you will be in time. And hey, if all else fails, I highly recommend New Leaf. Who doesn’t want their best friend to be a green penguin that wears a pilots cap?

[thesundanceghost]

Not So Starry-Eyed

Day 4: Jealousy/Green 

Notes: This is set the summer after their freshman year of college. @stancy-week

It had been a long day.  College had just let out for the summer, and Nancy was looking forward to spending a couple of weeks with Steve in Indianapolis.  He was sharing an apartment with a couple of roommates while he went to school, but they’d all gone back home for the summer, so it would just be them.

A couple of Steve’s friends had held a party that day to celebrate before splitting ways for summer, and Steve promised them that they’d at least stop by. Nancy hadn’t minded-- though they hadn’t talked much about their college friends, she still wanted to meet the people Steve had been getting to know.

They hadn’t stayed long, just dropping by for introductions like Steve had suggested.  He was excited to let Nancy meet everyone, though it was a small party.  He’d dragged her around to meet everyone, constantly interrupting to press kisses to her neck or wrap an arm around her shoulders.  He always got clingy after they’d spent time apart, and Nancy couldn’t stop blushing.

Steve’s friends were all great, not that she’d been expecting otherwise.  But one girl, Liz, stood out in particular.  Her and Steve had seemed close, very close.  Nancy barely even got to talk to Liz since her and Steve spent so much time chatting and joking with each other.  They had all these inside jokes that Nancy didn’t get at all, and from what it seemed like, the others didn’t get either.

It was weird.  Nancy didn’t know why it bothered her.  Maybe because she’d heard the names of his other friends-- Esme, Daniel, Marcos, Lily-- if only once or twice over the phone, but he’d never mentioned a Liz.  She tried not to think anything of it, but judging by their closeness, it seemed unlikely that she would’ve just not come up.

She was pretty too.  Nancy tried not to let herself think about that, but it was hard when she was lounging around in a swimsuit by a pool.  Liz was tall, almost as tall as Steve, with light curly hair and dark brown eyes that seemed to pull you in.  She held herself with a confidence that reminded Nancy of her own boyfriend.

But still, it hadn’t really mattered until they were about to leave.  Liz had happily suggested Nancy take some Italian Cream Cake before she left, and Nancy had asked Steve if he wanted some as well.  Liz had responded instead, throwing out a “no” before teasing Steve about his walnut allergy.

Nancy hadn’t known what to say to that.  Probably because she didn’t know Steve was allergic to walnuts.  

They’d left soon after that, wandering around Indianapolis for Steve to point out his favorite spots.  Nancy found herself immersed in her boyfriend’s jokes and stories once more, all thoughts of Liz fading from her mind.

It wasn’t until later that night that the thoughts came back to her.  Steve was already half-asleep beside her, sprawled out in the way he always did when he’d had a long day.  His arm was slung over her, a source of comfort and affection, but suddenly she felt anxious.

“Did you have fun today?” she asked quietly.  He opened his eyes barely to look at her before closing them again, pulling her closer.

“Mm-hmm,” he responded back.  “You?”

“Yeah,” she answered back, keeping her eyes carefully set on his face.  “I liked meeting your friends.”

A smile tugged at his lips, but he still didn’t open his eyes when he replied.  “I’m glad. They’re pretty great.”

Nancy bit her lip.  She knew she should just let it go and stop while she was ahead, but she couldn’t stop picturing the casual teasing and easy affection that she’d seen earlier that day.

“Liz was nice.  You guys seem pretty close,” she finally spoke up.  Her heart was beating quickly, and she hoped she sounded nonchalant.  Steve opened his eyes, and Nancy worried she’d given something away, but he just seemed amused more than anything else.

“We are,” he answered back, sounding unconcerned, and Nancy felt a pain in her chest at that.  She tried to remind herself it didn’t matter, that she was close to plenty of friends like that.  It wasn’t like she didn’t know Steve was close to his friends-- both of them were still terribly codependent with Jonathan, after all.  This shouldn’t be any different.  But nonetheless, there was still a part of her that had been hoping Steve would shrug it off and say not really or something else along those lines.

“Oh,” Nancy continued after taking a breath. “You’ve never mentioned her before.”

Steve propped himself up on his elbow to look at her, sleepy and confused.  Nancy kept her face carefully neutral.  “Lizzie?  Sure I have.”

Nancy frowned at the nickname.  “I think I’d remember,” she replied, and damn it, that definitely sounded bitter.

“She--” Steve suddenly stopped, sounding more awake.  “Wait a second.  You’re jealous.”

His voice was amused, and filled with a smugness that made Nancy curse internally.

She scowled.  “I’m not jealous.  I’m just curious.”

“No you’re not,” he insisted with a grin.  “You’re 100% jealous.  You.”

He was definitely enjoying this.  Nancy shut her eyes, instantly regretting this entire conversation.  “Steve, I swear to god--”

“You complain about me being jealous constantly and here you are, interrogating me about a girl,” he teased, and she frowned at that.

“I’m not apologizing for giving you shit about that.  You’re an ass when you’re jealous,” she reminded him.  

“I know,” he replied easily.  She hadn’t been wrong about that. “But right now you’re the jealous one.  Honestly, this is just too exciting for me--”

“You know, if you’re going to be a dick about it, just forget I said anything,” she snapped, feeling angry at herself for being so silly.  She turned her back to him, pulling the covers up.  She wanted to bury down inside the covers, but she knew that was going too far.

She hated feeling this way.  Steve’s jealousy and insecurity had been their biggest problem towards the start of their relationship, Steve always getting antsy when Nancy spent a lot of time with Jonathan.  Nancy knew it was a sore spot for him, especially considering his parents’ situation, but they’d worked through it together, learning to trust each other more.  And here she was jealous of some girl she’d only met that day.

“Nancy.” Steve’s voice was softer now, less taunting, but she could still hear the smile.  She shuffled down further into the sheets.  “Nance, I’m sorry.  It’s just funny to me.”

“How is this funny?” She demanded.  She felt so stupid and silly and he thought it was funny.  

“I’ve just never had a girlfriend be so jealous of my cousin before, that’s all.”

Nancy took a second to let that sink in before she turned back over and stared at him.  Steve was smiling at her like he was seconds away from laughing, and she felt the color drain out of her face.

“Your cousin?” she repeated back dumbly.  “But you’ve told me about your cousins!  It’s just Patrick, Andrew, and Eliza-- Elizabeth.”

Oh god.  She knew all about Elizabeth-- Steve’s favorite cousin who’d been the most sane member of his entire family.  They hadn’t been that close, growing up on opposite sides of the country, but Steve always mentioned how much fun they had at reunions and birthdays.  The pieces all clicked together, and Nancy groaned in horror.  This time she didn’t stop herself-- she pulled the covers up over her head and stayed there, staring blankly at her boyfriend’s chest.

She heard Steve chuckle slightly from above and wasn’t really that surprised when he yanked the covers down, leaning over her to meet her eyes. His lips were still upturned in a slight smile, but there was a look of slight concern in his eyes.

“Nancy, what’s going on?” He asked kindly. She felt tears prick at her eyes and she shook her head, not able to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, face flushing.

“What the hell are you sorry for?” he asked, knocking their feet together.

“I’m being stupid,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.  She opened them again when Steve reached for her hand and squeezed it.  Now he was frowning.

“You’re not being stupid,” he argued.  “I mean, you definitely don’t have anything to be jealous of, but still.  Can you just talk to me?”

She stared at him, biting her lip.  She wanted to talk to him-- God knows how many of their problems were fixed in a second after actually, you know, communicating with each other-- but she didn’t even have a grasp on why she upset.  She didn’t know where to begin.

“You’re allergic to walnuts,” she blurted out before she could stop herself.

Steve blinked, looking at her like she was insane.  “I’m sorry?” he asked, clearly assuming he’d misheard.

“I didn’t know.” She stumbled over the words, frustrated with herself.  “I didn’t know until Liz said it this afternoon.  I just-- I should know that!  What if I made breakfast one day and put walnuts in it and you had an allergic reaction?”

Steve’s eyes were flitting around in confusion, still very lost.  “You’re going to start cooking again?” He asked after a second.  “Because I’m really not sure if we’re ready for that.”

She huffed at the jab at her culinary skills, trying to start over.  She knew she wasn’t making sense, but she didn’t know how else to say it.  “Scratch that.  Just… what if we went out for dinner one night and you ate walnuts and started getting sick and then we called an ambulance and they asked me if you were allergic to anything and I just wouldn’t know.”  

She looked at him intensely at the last part, wishing he’d understand, but he just stared back blankly.  “Um, you could just ask me?  Honestly I just get hives, and I just need to pop some Benadryl, I don’t think we’d need an ambulance.  I’m really not getting the whole walnut thing.”

“It’s not about walnuts!” Nancy exclaimed in exasperation, pushing him out of the way as she sat up, trying to gather her thoughts.  Steve sat up slowly beside her as she took a deep breath.  “Look, what am I allergic to?”

“Pineapple.  And cats,” Steve answered back immediately, and Nancy sighed sadly, letting her head fall back against the wall.  “Nance, you’re gonna have to walk me through this.”

She ignored him.  “And if I asked you what my favorite color was, or my favorite movie, or my first pet’s name, you’d know, wouldn’t you?”

Steve frowned, darting his eyes around in thought.  “I mean, yeah.”

Nancy ran her hands through her hair raggedly, feeling absolutely rotten.  “Exactly.”

“What are you talking about, Nancy?” Steve sounded completely awake at this point, and she felt terrible for putting that hint of worry in his voice.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.  She didn’t know where any of this was coming from.  Maybe she’d always felt like this and just never owned up to it before.  “Just-- you and Liz, I get it now, you’re family and stuff, but… she knew all of this stuff about you.  Trivial stuff, but stuff that I should know.  And you had all these inside jokes and you know each other so well, and… and I guess I got a bit jealous of what you have with her.”

Steve was watching her carefully, his face a blank slate.  “To be fair, Nancy, I’ve known Elizabeth for a lot longer than I’ve known you,” he replied slowly.  “She is my cousin, after all.”

“I know, I know, but that’s not all, is it?  It’s not that we don’t know stuff about each other.  It’s that I don’t know stuff about you.  I just feel like… like you know all this stuff about me, and I don’t know anything about you. Like I never ask or don’t listen or--” she broke off in frustration, taking a deep breath with closed eyes. “You know so much about me, and I don’t even know what you’re allergic to.  Fuck, I don’t even know your favorite color.”

She let out a bitter laugh at the end, feeling hot tears burn in her eyes as she thought about it.  Steve was quiet beside her for a long moment.  She kept her eyes on the ceiling, too frightened to look at his expression.

“That’s what you’re upset about?” Steve asked, but he didn’t sound amused or like he wasn’t taking her seriously, although Nancy probably wouldn’t blame him.  He just sounded like he was trying to get things right.

Nancy sighed, raising her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug.

Suddenly, Steve moved beside her, and Nancy opened her eyes just in time for him to pull her down the bed so she was laying down again.  He rolled on top of her, holding himself over her with his arm as he looked down at her.

“Who cares about all that stuff?” Steve asked, sounding bewildered.  Nancy opened her mouth to protest, but Steve didn’t let her.  “Seriously.  That stuff doesn’t matter.”

He pressed a light kiss to her lips, letting their breaths mingle between them before he continued talking.  “Everything that matters?  You know all that.”

She frowned at him, slightly confused.  Steve just smiled and began to elaborate.

“You know when I realized I liked boys as well as girls,” Steve muttered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.  Nancy pressed her lips together, the answer coming to her easily.  Last semester of high school, though he always said he should’ve known earlier.  She gave a small nod, and he continued, pressing a kiss to her other cheek.

“You know what I had nightmares about for a year.” That was easy. Showing up to the Byers’ house too late.  He’d told it to her one night when they’d been curled up around each other, a breathy confession into cold air.

Steve didn’t wait for an affirmation, instead pressing a kiss to her nose and continuing.

“You know what my biggest regrets are.” The spray paint.  Fighting Jonathan in the alley.  

“You know about the worst fight I ever had with my parents.” The summer after senior year of high school.

“You know what my biggest fear is.” Turning into his father.

“You know about all the time I wasted in high school being a dick.  You know how I still mess up constantly, and how hard I have to try to be better sometimes.  You know how to make me better.” He listed off these things quickly, pressing kisses to her eyelids and nose.  After that he stopped, looking down at her.  “You know about the first time I ever told someone I love you and meant it.”

She blinked up at him at that, biting her lip when she saw the small, intimate smile he was casting down at her.  “I don’t know about that,” she whispered.

“No?” he asked, eyes glinting fondly from the light from outside.  “I’ll give you a hint.”

He grinned before kissing her, mouth soft and gentle against hers.  He pulled back and leaned their foreheads together.  “I love you, Nancy Wheeler.”

Nancy let her eyes drift shut as she smiled, feeling a tight contentment in her chest.  He’d said the words more times than she could keep track of, but they never lost their touch.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, and she could feel the way his cheeks pulled up in a smile.  “I’m sorry I was jealous.  Even if Liz wasn’t your cousin, I know-- I know you’d never…”

She faded off, opening her eyes to look at him, and he was smiling down at her.  “Good.  Because you know me, Nancy Wheeler.  Everything else is just facts.”

After a moment of smiling at her, Steve rolled off of her, head flopping back onto the pillow.  He swung an arm around her waist and pulled her close, their legs tangling together.  He yawned loudly.  “Are we good now?  Because we can keep talking, but I may end up falling asleep,” he admitted.

She smiled at him, feeling a deep fondness for the man beside her.  “Go to sleep” she commanded gently, pressing a light kiss to his neck before settling down beside him.

The quiet that descended over them after that was peaceful, nothing like the anxiety-ridden silence that had frightened her before.  She felt herself dozing off, but there was still one thing on her mind.

“Hey Steve?” she whispered, propping her head up on his chest to look at him.  He hummed in response, not opening his eyes.  “What’s your favorite color?”

He lifted his head and blinked down at her, a smile pulling at the edge of his lips.  “Green.”

Nancy smiled and nodded, laying her head back onto the pillow.  “Green,” she repeated firmly, committing it firmly to memory before she drifted off.

Notes: I liked writing this, because I think jealousy is something they would struggle with, but as long as you communicate and work on improving, you can work it out!!

Title came from The Decemberists’ “Make You Better” which is clearly a Stancy song.