#and to be clear! i am not blaming any of them for this!
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Hi hello so im back again with a smaaaaaaallllll rant about Colonel Caleb and general's daughter. I just got the ideea and i had, once again, nowhere to rant about it.
Ahham. So....them having their own 'myth' lets say. They were lovers in their past lives(historical maybe the 1800 or the 1900)but couldn't be toghter since she was of lower status then Caleb, him being a Colonel in the army (i love Colonel Caleb so bear with me) and her being a commoner or someting and she dies in his arms and he swears to protect her in their next lives and faith makes sure to have them be of the same 'rank'??? so he could fullfill his promise FUCK MY MIND IS IN RUINS 😭😭😭😭😭😭
I hope i made myself clear if not blame my mind, thank you! Good night! 😭😂❤️❤️
MINA I AM DELIGHTED TO SEE YOU AND YOUR LOVELY AU AGAIN. <333 gosh I wanted to answer this immediately last night, but Caleb’s latest trailer had me losing my mind and things spiraled 😭😭😭
Giving you all of my attention, because EXCUSE ME. WHEELS ARE SPINNING.
Can we…can we just indulge on this a little more? 🥹 omg excuse the slightly heavy Moulin Rouge! influences sprinkled in here, but this is the vibe I am getting, especially for their “tragic” ending.
A Colonel and His Lover
Imagine Colonel Caleb is dragged to a brothel by his associates and superiors. He finds the whole thing disdainful, but is pressured by his own superiors to indulge in a little nightly fun and let loose and forget their duties for a bit.
He doesn’t plan to. He had planned on leaving the moment everyone finds their partners.
Until he sees you.
Literally lust love at first sight.
He’s captivated by your beauty, your wits, and he’s falling hard and fast before he realizes what is happening.
One night with you leaves him yearning for more. He has already remembered how you felt under him, the way you quivered and moaned for him.
He remembers the sweet nothings uttered between the two of you, and though a tiny part in his mind is telling him that you are just a whore who is good with her tongue, he wants to believe that there is something genuine blossoming between the two of you.
He starts going back to the whorehouse more often. Nightly, if he could. He still puts on an act that he was being pressured to tag along, but in reality, all he wants is to see you again. No matter what it takes, what the price, he wants you and only you.
In the beginning, he was just another client. One of those military brutes who only saw you as something that can be bought for and used until they were satisfied.
You did intentionally charm him in the beginning. A false smile, a few sweet words to prickle his male ego, but it soon becomes apparent to you that Caleb is not like all of your previous clients. When he sees you, there is genuine feelings in his eyes, he is truly looking at you for you and not just a body to be used.
You try to discourage your own feelings, reminding yourself of the different classes you belong to. This can never happen—could never happen.
A prestigious colonel on his way to greatness and a common whore? What a joke. It seems almost insulting to entertain such an idea that you could ever truly be his. You quiet those feelings, try to imagine him as any of those other bastards who drag you to bed.
Except you can’t.
Caleb won’t let you. He sees you for you. He wants to know you, the real you, who you have hidden away for years.
You no longer wait for him to come to you as a client. You begin to sneak around whenever you both could, having regular rendezvouses where he is no longer a client or you’re a whore, but two lovers meeting to be together.
After one afternoon delight, you lay with him in an inn bed, tangled in sheets and wrapped in his warmth, and he paints you a beautiful picture of the life you both could have together.
He would buy you all of the beautiful dresses for you to wear, show you off with pride, his equal at his side wherever he goes. Men may still lust after you, their wives green with envy, but to Caleb, he couldn’t care, because he knows you are his and his alone.
You would live in a beautiful house, your days filled with idle contentment and no longer have to worry about anything or want for anything. Caleb promises to provide you with everything you could want and more.
When you tell him, though, that he is all that you want, his cheeks tinge pink, but his smile is layered with joy and also…gratitude? He looks at you like you are his whole world, because that’s just how it is: you are his world now. He had never thought he could cherish someone as much as he cherishes you.
A beautiful life awaits you. He asks you to marry him.
For just a moment, you hesitate, and he is confused. He gently questions you, wondering if you have any doubts about his feelings.
“No! Never!” you tell him, and then reluctantly, you reveal that you could still feel that distance in classes between the two of you. You worry about his reputation, and Caleb seems surprised.
He reassures you there is nothing for you to worry about. He can handle whatever happens, and he promises to keep you safe.
You agree to marry him.
Life continues as normal as the two of you plan to run away and elope. He had promised you an extravagant wedding, but you want him now, already wanting to be his wife and he your husband.
This rosy life you are seeing turns grey in an instant, everything grinding to a halt when you start to display symptoms of an unknown illness. You start coughing up blood more often, your body weakened some days to the point you need to be bedridden. Secretly, you hid everything from Caleb, not wanting him to worry.
Caleb starts wising up, realizing something is wrong when you continue to evade his questions or even outrightly avoid meeting him again.
When a physician reveals to you that you only have less than five months to live, you realize that the dream life Caleb promised you would never come true. Not wanting him to bear the pain of seeing you dying, you start to drive a further wedge between the two of you, consciously doing things to make him hate you so he wouldn’t ever have to feel the pain of losing you.
It works.
You fight with him to the point that you’re both yelling and screaming at one another until he loses control of his anger and drives his fist into a wall, scaring you briefly, having never seen this side of him before. He doesn’t want you to see him like this either, so he leaves, leaving you with these bitter harsh words and some bills tossed at you in spite:
“I have paid for my whore. My debt is paid and she is nothing to me.”
When he is out of sight, you fall to the ground sobbing, angry at yourself for doing a good job of driving him away and making him hate your existence. The man you loved is gone, and though it hurts, you still wish he would find someone to replace you, because you still love him with your whole heart and never want him to be alone like this.
Caleb is angry and it shows. The Colonel has always been very disciplined and strict, but everyone has noticed his temper seemed even more short. There is no leniency with him. You mess up, he will make sure you learn from your mistakes. You talk back to him, and it will be your last words in his presence.
He starts to drink more often, wishing to numb his pain, to forget your fights, to forget you. There is no alcohol in the world strong enough to cure him of this heartache. In spite of everything, he still loves you. He replays the memories often, wondering when everything had gone wrong.
One night as he sits at the bar, on his fifth glass of scotch, he pulls out a ring box, opening it to look at the dainty little ring he had secretly chosen for you. It wasn’t a huge diamond, but still perfectly sized, and he knows it would look beautiful on your finger.
He downs his glass, pays his tab, and stumbles out of the bar. He staggers through the streets disoriented, not even thinking clearly of where he is going.
He finds himself at the brothel again, and he scoffs. He goes in, demanding to see you.
The madame there tries to turn him away. She knows who he is, and also knows of his secret relationship with one her girls. She knows what you two had planned, because you had revealed everything to her and begged her to never let him come near you again—for his sake. Always for his sake. Even as you are dying upstairs, each day, you breathing growing weaker, you still think of him.
Caleb doesn’t take “no” for an answer and in his current drunken state, he is more prone to violence than usual, slurring insults about you in spite. It isn’t until one of the other girls screams out that you were dying, that he freezes, sobering up instantly.
“What…did you say?”
His whole world had stopped. The colors drain from his face, his heart slowing as he replays her words in his mind. The dots start to connect as he remembers all of your final fights, realizing your expressions had always seemed off somehow.
His throat is dry, his limbs rigid as he tries to move. Suddenly, he runs off in a mad dash before anyone could stop him. He rushes up the stairs, passing several rooms, pushing anyone in his way to the side until he finds your room, the door bursting open and he freezes again, not recognizing the frail woman laying in bed under multiple covers as a nurse is tending to her.
Caleb doesn’t leave and rushes to your side, dropping to his knees as he reaches for your hand, begging you to look at him. He apologizes profusely, his eyes glistening with tears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?! Why did you lie to me?! Why, why…why…”
His large hands wrapped around yours, holding it close to his face as he sobs.
“Ca..leb…”
He looks up, seeing you smiling at him weakly.
“I’m here,” he assures you, “I’m here…I’m not leaving…Not again…”
Too weak to fight, too relieved to see him, you let him stay and you close your eyes.
He stays by your side for your remaining days, cherishing the little time you had left.
One afternoon as he watches you sleep, he sits on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing aside your hair, his eyes heavy with sadness as he realizes how frail and pale you are now compared to who you were months earlier. Quietly, he pulls out the ring box, taking the ring out, and slipping it on your ring finger. It looks perfect on you, just like he had known it would.
When you wake that evening and see the ring, you start to protest, saying it’s wasted on you.
He silences you with a kiss, and once again, he reassures you that nothing he does for you is ever wasted effort. You are his only bride, and no one will ever take your place.
Time dwindles, and he watches you waste away each day, his heart heavy with remorse and anger that he is losing you before his very eyes and there is nothing that he can do to stop this. For all of his strength and glory, Caleb has never felt as weak and helpless as he does now.
He tries to fill your days with as much comfort and happiness as he could.
It was a spring afternoon when he lays in bed with you. He leans back against the headboard, your body resting against his, the cover up to your neck for warmth, but nothing felt more comforting than his own body heat against you.
He tells you stories again and as you listen to him, you wonder why his voice sounds more distant even though he is right here next to you.
Caleb watches, realizing, he has lost you, your body growing colder and unresponsive.
He breaks down crying as a warm spring breeze rustles into the room from the opened balcony door. He holds you close to him and just sobs and curses every deity in the world.
He promises in the next life, he will be a better man and give you what you deserve. In the next life, things will go right. The story of you and him will be rewritten, he swears on his life.
#x — 💌#mina-lupu#love and deepspace#love and deepspace caleb#love and deepspace x reader#caleb x reader#lads scenarios#ahhhhhhhh#YOU'RE MAKING ME OBSESSED WITH YOUR COLONEL CALEB AU#:'(((( <333333#i'm so happy you're sharing these with me because i am having so much fun yapping with you about them 🥹🥹🥹
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I am a full supporter of female separatism as a personal practice, but as a global permanent solution for misogyny it falls short. As personal practice, well it just makes sense; and permanent separatist tactics of empowerment like focusing your finances to female business, keeping personal finances, and prioritizing female bonds and friendships are absolutely things the average woman can and should commit to. To get it out of the way, its relationships where this tends to fall short. The victim blaming towards heterosexual, and especially bisexual women who have the "option" to reject men sexually (and not be tainted) is already reeking with misogyny and it becomes clear that those with this mindset do not give a single fuck about women, they just hate men and women, 87% of which are heterosexual and even more who have close relationships with males, are at best collateral.
Not only does it add anther layer of division, it reeks of the same "make sure he rapes the other girl" mentality that comes frequently with conversations on topics of safety, rape prevention, conservatism, modesty, etc. Putting the responsibility on women and unsurprisingly, not men. These are steps YOU can take to avoid XYZ. You were supposed to follow them. Anything that happens to you if you didn't (or did, just not well enough) is all your fault. And please don't ask about the women who don't have the option to do this, they aren't part of the conversation.
4B movements are necessary to drive a point home that women do NOT need men. We don't. And those who feel compelled to participate are doing themselves and feminism a great service. However, even if a woman has the agency to participate in a male-free lifestyle, is it not also important that she does NOT have to in order to ensure her safety? A hetero relationship should not be a liability in the first place. The sad reality though is, it is. And thats what leads to femsep/4B in the first place. It shouldn't be necessary, we all agree on that, but it is.
That being said, I believe that feminism owes it to the woman, not the other way around. Women who remain in hetero partnerships, choose to have children, get married should not be treated like necessary sacrifices, numbers that get left behind, and especially not cock-worshipping traitors. For what? Wanting a relationship? To be sexually active? The biggest problem within femsep spaces is this type of victim blaming, which I have seen more than my fair share of, and if I'm saying the quiet part out loud, it begins to sound more like a Lysistrata-esque "you are supposed to swear off men in order to punish them" rather than it being about you, your needs, or your safety, the way it should be. That kind of alienation drives feminists away from feminist spaces, and into the very welcoming arms of watered down choice-feminism and misogynists. When in reality, what women in het-partnerships need is support.
In summary, stay separatist, there's nothing wrong with it. I am not here to criticize separatism as a whole, just this particular attitude that is VERY prevalent in spaces. Do it for your safety, the betterment of female business, and your sanity, god knows its exhausting listening to men all day. You can, after all, only directly control your life. Just don't delude yourself into thinking all other women who cannot or will not follow suit are the enemy or traitors by any extent of the word.
Separatist rhetoric often circles back to misogyny and victim-blaming. In online discourse, female separatists often refer to heterosexual women as whores, “cock worshippers” “cocksuckers” “dick panderers” “cum dumpsters” “contaminated by semen” and refer to pregnant women and mothers as women who have been “nutted in”. Some separatists are “blackpillers” and believe that all men are inherently evil, murderous, pedophilic, sexually depraved, etc. and they blame heterosexual women for continuing to interact with them. There is a pervasive attitude of “well, that’s what you get” in online separatist discourse, because male sexual depravity is seen as inevitable, meaning it’s the woman’s responsibility to avoid abuse by avoiding men altogether. Indeed, the sexual shaming used by some separatists echoes the same hatred, contempt, and smug sense of superiority that conservative religious women use to denigrate sexually active women, i.e. “whores” who bring misfortune on themselves by being promiscuous.
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Quality Time
Citlali:*reading* hm!!?
Aether:*casually walks in* Hello!
Citlali:…I’m still not used to this.
Aether:I can give your key back if you want.
Citlali:I didn’t say it was a bad thing to get used to. Anyways, let me guess, Ororon told you to swing by at a specific time?
Aether:You did give me a letter, but it’s a little hard to know your sleepy schedule. I wanted to hand you your birthday gift properly.
Citlali:*red* Oh you didn’t have to get me any-
Aether:*pulls out wine* Boom, Dandelion Wine from the best Mondstadt has to offer.
Citlali:I’m starting to think you see me as an alcoholic.
Aether: Heh, “starting to?”
Citlali:Hey! I drink a normal amount and when I feel like it!
Aether:So you don’t want th-
Citlali:*politely grabs it* It’s bad manners to refuse a gift.
Aether:Hehe. So, birthday girl, have anything you want to do today. My schedule is clear.
Citlali:I’m staying home. No offense but birthdays lose a bit of meaning when you’re my age. There’s nothing for an hold hang like me to do that I haven’t.
Aether:First, I’m older than you and I love my birthday. Don’t think about them all at once, but all the moments you had for the year.
Citlali:Well…I guess when you put it like that, there’s a lot to remember about this year.
Aether:Ending a war is a pretty big deal.
Citlali:Yeah but that’s a moment for everyone. I was referring to meeting someone who’s…rather interesting.
Aether:*red* Aww, thank you.
Citlali:I didn’t say it was- ugh, who am I kidding?
Aether:So, young lady, what are you up for? It’s your special day. I’ll listen to any request.
Citlali:…My social battery is pretty high today, so tolerating your antics wouldn’t be out of the question. I’m sure there’s plenty of light novels we could discuss. Plus…*shakes bottle* No way I’m finishing this alone.
Aether:So you want me to stay here with you all day?
Citlali:*red* Y-You said you were free? It doesn’t have to be until tomorrow or anything crazy. I…look, I want to talk to someone okay! You! I would like to just talk with you and I don’t know, not think about anything else.
Aether:*smiles* I’ll get the glasses. *walks to kitchen*
Citlali:You’re a real piece of work; ya know that? Don’t blame me if you get a bit drunk. If you can’t keep up, then tap out. Not everyone can handle their liquor like me.
xxxxxx
Citlali:*waking up* Uuuuugh, my head. *sits up* Mmmghggh, damn it. Seriously, what the heck is wrong with me!? After all of my bravado too. *looks left* What’s even the t-
Aether:*in the bed*Zzzzzzzz
………
Citlali:Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Citlali:Wait! *looks down* My clothes are fine. Good! That’s good! Nothing happened! Makes sense. I probably got drunk before he did. He probably just brought me to bed. *pulls down cover*
Aether:*bruised up*
Citlali:WHAT DID I DO TO HIM!?
Several hours earlier
Aether:Please, Citlali, your grip! I’m not your pillow!
Citlali:Don’t leave. Stay the night with me~
Aether:Okay! But free my ribs.
Citlali:Pro-hic-mise first! Don’t leave me. I…wanna see you when I wake. I don’t want just the memories…
Aether:…I promise. I’ll be right here.
Citlali:*holds him close* Gooooood. You have no idea how much I…much I li..zzzzz
Aether:Why does she hug harder than Itto!?
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Shima is it Coralaw 👀👀👀
...................MAYBE
#Shima answers questions#Coralaw#NDJKASNMKJDSADSA#To be 100% clear I do NOT ship Law as a 13 year old child I ship him as an adult#They are both consenting adults!!#...At least in the context of an AU where Cora is alive!! And they reunited as adults!#Also the 13 years of separation and Law's devotion and dedication to Cora i.e. his tattoos his pirate crew#his jolly roger and his revenge quest on Doflamingo AND the intense pining got to me OKAY#No matter how you look at their relationship Law's devotion to Cora is NOT normal. That is not heterosexual behavior. LMAO#The dependency is so unhealthy and I am unwell.#At the VERY least I can definitely see it being one-sided on Law's end#Again you do not devote 13 years of your life to killing a man for someone and classify that as normal#Law didn't spend that amount of time on his parents OR his sister#It was just Cora. Squinting eyes emoji#Also I should have expected this when I made that post a month ago about them being platonic soulmates#Bc they ARE. And they could be...MORE#Anyway if this makes any of you uncomfy that is perfectly fine and valid#I probably won't talk about them in a shipping context too often anyway I just figured I'd bring it up!#You can block the tag or unfollow it's fine 👍#Just pwease no steppy#At the end of the day they are fictional characters. They are not real#Also iykyk but I blame a certain someone's amazing comic series for this. I have been CONVERTED#Listen I just want them to hug and hold hands okay. That is all 🥺#One Piece
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The Invisible Child
There’s a bell I wear round my neck and when it rings silver I taste copper because no-one else can hear it. I follow my brothers through the streets, a walking stick and a pair of ear-defenders with a ghostly body, a forgotten face, a translucent throat full of screams I keep behind my teeth because
I don’t want to kill your vibe, man. I don’t want to ruin your night.
I’m watching everyone and everyone’s laughing and their voices stab me through the ears and stir my brain like a soup. I don’t think the mushrooms are part of the soup, I think it’s going mouldy in there. If I bang my head against a wall enough times, will the overgrowth fall out of my eyes? It’s worth a try.
The pain in the back of my head is cold and the eyes that follow me as this scream finally escapes are even colder. Now they see me, for a split second. And now they don’t. They walk away and leave me to play hopscotch by myself; I’ve been flung back to square one.
I don’t even know how to play hopscotch.
I bite at the hand that feeds me, the hand that holds me, the hand that guides me, the hand that disappears and becomes invisible and I taste copper again because I’m tearing up my throat shouting for help and no-one wants to hear me.
#poetry#went to a new year's thing in town the other day and am still recovering from it#it was an absolute shitshow#my friends were too drunk and excited to notice that i was overstimulated the whole time#and literally kept wandering off while i was having a meltdown?#my mum said it didn't look like any of them gave a shit which is just lovely#i can't really blame them for not knowing what to do but still. if one of them was showing clear signs of distress#i'd want to do something about it#i wouldn't just leave them and walk straight into a massive crowd while they're overstimulated and vulnerable#i know alcohol tends to override common sense but jesus christ#i love my friends dearly but they can be so irresponsible
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i'm watching season 8 of dexter for the first time and i'm only on episode 2 but i'm glad they're finally tackling the whole "dexter is a psychopath and psychopaths don't have empathy" thing by acknowledging that this dude does in fact have empathy i hope to god they come to the logical conclusion
#dexter morgan#i am BEGGING vogel to shut up i hate her so much#lady you did this to a kid you never met#and now you're SURPRISED he doesn't match up to the diagnosis the way you expected him to??#'people like you' lady come on#hate how much she's like... not fetishizing necessarily but definitely something#she's certainly not got a healthy relationship with what is at the end of the day a clinical diagnosis#'psychopaths are necessary to society' alright but can you be normal about them??#to be clear i'm not removing any blame from harry he was also a piece of shit for what he did to dexter#but like at least he cared about him as a person and also got him tested and everything#instead of just hearing about him secondhand and deciding hes a write off who's only good for one thing#don't quote me on this i haven't seen the rest of dexter in ages and i'm still not done ep 2
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I’ve destroyed it all. The circumstances are not my fault; nevertheless, I am the straw that broke the camel’s back. I am the thousandth paper cut needed to end a life. I am innocent on my own; but with everything behind me I will be the one to bring destruction. I don’t want to be the cause. I never wanted this. I saw it coming miles away and I did it anyway; the worst part is that I see exactly where it’s going. Please let my intuition be wrong for once. This doesn’t feel real.
#I’m going to be fine. I’m about the only person who’s going to be fine.#We were born of the fire and now we shall die in the fire#exjw#pomo#Yes; POMO. But at what cost?#If it weren’t for the cult; we wouldn’t be together#If it weren’t for the cult; we’d still be together#I know I bitch and snark a lot but I don’t hate them. I love them. I think they’re good people and I like them. Genuinely.#I don’t blame them for everything. I can’t blame them for everything just like I can’t blame myself for everything#None of us are breaking us apart; a concept is. A concept that has more power than the bond between parent and child#ex cult#vent tw#I hate this I want it to end.#I want for none of us to be hurting or afraid anymore. I want us to be free to be with one another and be ourselves#I want us to love each other regardless of who we love#I’ve made it clear that I will not cut them off. If there is ever any restriction of communication between us; it will not be on my end#It’s such a silly thing too. I haven’t killed anyone. I haven’t done anything unspeakable. I’m an upstanding member of society#I just want to exist as I am. That is all.#What makes a cult isn’t just not being allowed to make your own decisions#it is also when the rules of the religion punish you unnecessarily for making normal decisions that should not cause turmoil
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something something higher quality animations meme something paying 60$ for the same models same lifeless animations something something they massacred salamence something something coliseum
#awn the intercom#me and my silly complaints ✌️🥴 no but seriously how did coliseum do that better#im speaking strictly animations here I don’t care for the models EVEN THOUGH MODERN 3D PIKEMON IS DESATURATED AF#i know coliseum had less Pokémon for sure so. Is that it can we just have a small amount of Pokémon then#The hardware is certainly stronger and I’ve never freaked out about the less pokemon thing and prefer it actually#Makes it so much easier then to catch EVERY GEN POKÉMON EVER IN EXISTENCE#the 3D models look okay again I am making that clear. but holy shit these animations are stagnant and reptetive#ME WHEN I DOUBLE KICK YOU : * two hood in place *#It’s okay In X&Y and ORAS and maybe even us/um . That’s straight up 3Ds i dont blame them#But the switch of console to have the animations be so. Be so. Be so. Copied#And i know coliseum copied they animations too. BUT THE ANIMATIONS WERE GOOD#LIKE COLISEUM HAD BOMB ANIMATIONS LIKE LOOKING AT IT I WISH I HAD THE GAME !#but watching a Pokémon battle in any of the games beyond black & white is so. So mehhhhh#AND I LOOOOOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE USUM#I KISS IT ON THE LIPS GREAT AMAZING BEAUTIFUL GAME#but sw/sh was so underwhelming in terms of animations#I will never forget that fade to black cutscene where Sonia like flicked a switch or whatever#WHATS THE POINT OF TRANSFERING TO 3D IF YOU WONT DO ANYTHING COOL WITH IT WAAAAAAH#don’t get me started on swsh story. DO GET ME STARTED ON POKEMON CAMP BC I LOVED THAT. fuck swsh story though.#swsh story : SNOOOOK MIMIMIMIM SNOOOOOK MIMIMIMI OH YEAH THERES COOL STUFF HAPPENING BUT YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO SEE IT SNOOOK MIMI#chad usum: space pokemon 🗿grown up red and blue 🗿giovanni gay pride event 🗿 CRUSTY DUSTY WHITE ARCHIE JUMPSCARE 😟😟#yeah okay i didn’t like the old ruby sapphire designs sue me. but everything else was PEAK#swsh mid. not good not bad but a secret third thing ( boring ) i have not finished the dlc but i did get glimpses and that seemed nice but#much lik security breach if base game is babyfest the dlc will ALWAYS seem leagues better
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Imagine turning 21 the week your three best friends are sick. Couldn't be me
#two out of three at least live close by and were gonna celebrate next week#number three lives a vit further away but shell visit as soon as shes better#to be clear: i do not blame any of my friends for getting sick. i am totally fine that thry cant make it to the party#just a funny coincidence that they all got sick THIS WEEKEND#ill just celebrate with my two other close friends and my brother instead#love to all of them#jamie posts
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im still really pissed that everyone said gc2b sucks like literally scared me into going with underworks instead and guess what their binders sucked and my years old gc2b one is infinitely more comfortable than them
#couldnt figure out how to return them in time either so now theres two worthless binders in the house#that i cant wear because they physically hurt to put on(even though one should fit perfectly according to their own sizing charts#and the other should be too big according to their own sizing charts)#literally fuck everyone who says gc2b is bad. i dont know about you but i much prefer binders that DONT hurt to wear#+ the method to put on underworks binders without ripping them makes them worthless to any transmasc without teeny hips#i already run into this problem enough with mens pants and underwear why am i supposed to deal with it w a product literally made for us#i dont blame underworks for that part tho bcuz to be honest! their binders are for cis men! they make that pretty clear on their site!
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Back when I was majoring in elementary education we had to do these presentations of lesson plans in which people went up and gave a lesson as if the rest of us were the elementary students they were teaching. This one guy's lesson was about the phases of the moon, and he very confidently did his whole lesson... explaining to us that the moon's phases were caused by the shadow of the Earth on the moon. At some point I finally couldn't take it anymore and raised my hand to explain that that's not how the phases of the moon were caused. I forget the presenter's response to this, but good number of people in the class got annoyed with me for "ruining it."
I used to be a grader and an occasional substitute prof for an introductory astronomy lab. That means that the majority of the people in this lab are only taking it because it’s a requirement and about half of them think it’s an astrology class.
I was grading midterms and this one girl. She was so nice and I think she was a business major. Fuck. The question on the midterm was to draw a diagram of the solar system and this poor girl. This fucking girl had drawn a Mars-centric solar system. As in every planet and the sun were orbiting Mars. I now actually have a custom Cards Againsy Humanity card I got at a con that says “A Mars-centric solar system”
I had a boy argue with me that there was liquid water on the moon (this was around when they had found liquid water on Mars in ~2015) and he wouldn’t believe me that he likely meant Mars and not the moon. After I marked his answer to the relevant lab question wrong, he took it to the department head who had promptly laughed him out of the office.
And there was another boy who, during a lab in our observatory where we would look at certain things in the sky, asked where the sun was. At 10pm in November. After some questioning it was revealed that he thought the moon and the sun were the same thing.
#this is the same education program in which we had to take state exams to become teacher certified#the general ed exam was at like a fifth grade level. maybe sixth. I passed first try and didn't think much of it.#I was the only person who passed first try. most people had to take it 3 or 4 times to pass. one girl took it SEVEN TIMES.#AND IT COST MONEY. IT WAS LIKE $100 PER RETAKE OR SOMETHING#that whole program was just... we did a little spelling test once with admittedly higher level words#I was the only one who could spell everything#one time in a children's literature class we did an icebreaker talking about our favorite books#and it quickly became very clear that I was the only one who had read any book at all since high school#you know what though? they're probably all killing it at teaching right now. bc after two months of actually being a 6th grade teacher#I realized that school is no longer about educating. it's about babysitting.#joke's on me I guess because it turned out I couldn't make it as a teacher. I cared about actual education too much#sorry this is all so cynical I just have too many burning thoughts on this matter. i would say 'the education system sucks' but tbh#at this point I can't even blame the system. I'm blaming parents. not all parents of course but hooooo boy way too many of them.#my mom actively invested in and participated in my and my sister's education. so many parents of the kids in the schools I worked in did No#just read to your kids folks pls just read to them and talk to them early on andmake them familiar w/ numbers and letters and the actual ac#of reading and writing. pls I am on my hands and knees. this would solve so many problems#okay end rant. I'm not okay
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got reminded of a years old problem that wordlessly shifted an already distant relationship with a parents friends child into absolute nothing, drawing sesh ruined
#mtxt#i dont know how my parents got from me saying SOMEONE ELSE said that he sexually commented about me that HE actually said it#i made sure to be absolutely clear about it but i dont know how it still got lost into blaming him#i didnt mean to blame him i just wanted them to ask if he knew who said that because the people who said it knew to an extent who he is#whatever i have clung onto a relationship with no depth and meaningless ties once again#all we did was embarrass ourselves in roblox and complain about going outside even when it was nice#am i justifying this i hope not#im still embarrassed and guilty because i think i gave them a reason to be more strict on him or smthin#i dont think an apology would work in any way its too little too late#what an awkward apology it would be sorry for saying that someone else accused you of commenting about me#and how our parents twisted it into saying that you actually said it#can i crumble away would saying nothing about it make it easier#its 12 am and my parents is vacuuming away the christmas tree withering age and im trying to forget everything about secondary school#i dont need this
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erm
#that last post is not good for mee#im already sobbing and then the voices go 'why don't you think youre allowed to be loved?'#love is such an interesting thing as someone aromantic and autistic imo. (thats what im 'blaming' it on at least)#i think somewhere in my brain the recognition that i can be loved is missing.#sillyposting#TECHNICALLY. i know my parents love me. in principle.#but i cant say that. i love them back. that doesnt FEEL right to me. so the only conclusion i can determine is that i dont.#its the same with the one partner ive ever had.#they were the closest ive ever been to a person in every single way.#they told me they loved me and. i couldnt say it back. i still cant say it.#if i cant comfortably say i love the closest person ive ever had is it possible for me at all?#is there something inherently wrong about me? something i cant change?#because i do APPRECIATE the people im supposed to love. i truly have deep feelings for them.#but they will possibly never reach love. and that isn't something i can change or do anything about.#which in turn results into me not being comfortable when someone makes clear they love me#if i cant reciprocate their feelings am i even worthy of them at all?#can you love something that cant love you back? i know that answer is 'yes'.#but is it right to put your love into something that can't return it? are you not putting a burden on both you and it?#isn't it easier to let it go? to leave? this thing will never do the same as you when there is plenty around that is better than it.#this thing has created a burden on itself when loved. feels guilty about it not returning feelings. feels uncomfortable at any expression.#doesnt that mean love is unkind to it? that love hurts? that it'd be better off without love at all?#is it possible to desire love when receiving it is my worst nightmare?#.#anyway shoutout to me realizing i cant imagine a future where im loved. while pissing.#o7#its literally past 10pm i should NOT be listing to whatever the voices say =w=b will that stop me? nahh#“guy isnt depressed enough” okayyyy#its literally fine tho were chillingg#<3#also very important distinction to me: none of this is limited to romantic love. familial love sucks too!!
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my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do
#if my dad had any brain cells or observational skills whatsoever#he’d realize that in terms of our faith the problem is not the boyfriend. that guy is brilliant and open minded and would probably ace RCIA#the problem is my sister. who is catholic in name but it’s clear to me how hard she’s fallen away from the faith#but like my dad has created such a bitter home environment we never have meaningful conversations with him#so like he doesn’t know *anything* about our inner lives#all he sees is labels. all he judges people by is labels#literally you can still get married in the church to a non catholic it’s just a matter of expecting them to convert eventually#and promising to still live according to the principles of the church and raising your children as such#but my parents are absolute fools if they think that’s the issue. if my sister was true in her faith her bf would have converted already#i am sure of it. the guy is smart he just needs to be guided the right way#evidently my parents don’t realize that about him either#if my dad could become a decent parent for once and stop trying to drive his kids away from the faith by only cherrypicking the parts of it#that intersected with republican/conservative boomerisms#ugh. if he was a virtuous father she’d be a virtuous daughter and therefore all her friends and loved ones would be virtuous as well#should i blame my dad for all our family problems? no.. not rightfully……#but like. the impact a father has on one’s life cannot be understated#ugh i’ve had the sense for a while that God wants me to be the one to fix this family#because looking around it doesn’t look like anyone else is gonna do it#but that’s such a daunting task… especially alone… i don’t have any true friends (ie who share both my faith and life experiences)#and like. it’s really hard to try to assume the role of a teacher or counselor when someone is older than you#or uh. in a position of direct power over you for that matter. esp when clearly deeply mentally ill#the concept of trying to essentially parent my own parent while i myself am miserable and unstable#esp when he is the primary cause of that#just. ughhhhh it’s such a vicious circle#like i’ll do this if i have to i’ll undertake that daunting mission but i have to be so careful and really sort myself out first#or for that matter if i were to volunteer to like. catechize my sister’s boyfriend (heaven knows she couldn’t do it)#i’d have to really study my stuff bc i think the intellect is the only real appeal here#like i said tho his conversion can probably never really happen as long as my sister remains the way she is#what i know is that the first step is fixing myself. i have to be a pillar of virtue if i wanna stand as any sort of authority on the faith#problem is i suck and shouldn’t be regarded as a role model for anything. i have the knowledge down but that alone won’t fix me
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SANTA'S CUMMING TO TOWN
—fushiguro toji x fem!reader
#TAPE NO 1 OF 'Tis the Season to be Naughty
—cw: breeding, santa kink (idk bruh i am all high and horny), mention on pregnancy, prone bone, raw sex, spanking, dirty talking, nick names. (art creds: yy6241 on ig)
—a/n: 1.2k words of everything that is wrong with me
Christmas wasn't particularly the most awaited time of the year for Toji. You on the other hand? You made sure that your place looked like the Christmas Spirit threw up garlands, trees and cute lights all over.
"Can you pass me those lights?" you ask Toji who was hanging the pinecones on the tree.
"Tell me why we're doin' this again?"
"Because it's Christmas. It's the season of joy. Oh, by the way," you gently step down from the table that helped you a gain a foot to put on the decorations, "gumi's friends are coming tomorrow so make sure to dress up as a santa."
"What?" He is stunned. It's not that he doesn't like kids but to have all their excited eyes on him would give him quite the stage fright.
"Please Please Toji. I know you don't like this kinda stuff but gumi was so excited the other day to see santa."
"What's in it for me?"
"You want a bribe for dressing up to make your son happy?" Your arms fold against your chest and you look at him with a poker face.
"Of course. That little brat gets spoiled way too much by you. When's my turn?"
"Toji. It's either the santa costume or the shark costume and dancing on baby shark for an hour"
*GASP*
"Hope ya know Santa doesn't like you, sweetheart." He walks away after giving you a nasty look. You know he doesn't mean it. He is cute when he is all pouty.
The party felt like forever. You send Megumi off to Shiu's place with his son and his mom. They were gonna have a sleepover. Megumi was a raging introvert just like his father so him having a best friend was a big deal for you.
"So the dishes are done. The extra party hats are in the cupboard, the floor is clean and y—" You stop your moving feet and look at the view in front of you. "And Santa hasn't left yet."
"Well...I still have one bad girl on my list. Thought I'd take care of that." He steps closer. The heat emitting from his body already reaching to hug your skin.
"But I've been your good girl, haven't I?" your doe eyes flutter at him, your fingers curling his white faux beard.
"Nah sweetheart. You've been so bad. You've barely paid any attention to me all month. Don'tcha think ya should get punished for that?" His grainy voice grazes against your neck. You try so hard to come up with a quick witty answer to turn this into a wholesome conversation but that was down the drain the moment he put that thing on. You were never into the whole santa thing until now. All blame goes to the man underneath the costume.
"P-punished?" You clear you throat. "Like?" You wait for an answer but you don't get one. Well, at least not in words.
Toji picks you up bridal style and walks to the cozy mattress next to the christmas tree and the gifts.
"Gonna give you a full experience, doll."
Everytime you fuck, Toji's always the one to get undressed first. He is too impatient to feel you against him. But tonight, you're the only one getting undressed. Your dress pools on your stomach as calloused hands hike it up.
"Toj—"
"tsk tsk. address me properly, naughty girl."
"Santa! Need you inside me.
"Heh. Not so soon, darling. Gotta punish you first." In a split second, you're turned on your belly, face pushed against the pillow. Toji inhales a sharp breath watching your exposed ass. A quick spank is landed on your them, making your husband hard as your plump skin bounces.
"Look at'cha. Such a slut. getting all wet with just a spank? what you gon' do when santa fills up your hole, doll?"
*spank*
"Ah! Fuck. I am so sorry, Santa. I promise I'll be a good girl f'you" you mewl.
"Promise? ight. Let's test that." You hear him shuffle. His fingers unbuckle the comically large belt and tugging down the pants just enough to expose his throbbing cock. He pumps it a few times before slapping the precum covered tip on your butt cheeks, the slight wet feeling on your skin turning you on even more. Toji grabs a cushion and settles it between the floor and your stomach so your pussy is easily visible. It's shameful. You know you're so wet that it's traveling down your thigh and drenching the cushion.
You feel his cockhead rub against your slick, opening the folds.
"Shit. She's dripping, sweetheart. Don't even need to stretch ya tonight. You ready for Santa's cock?"
He doesn't even give you a chance to answer before he is slowly forcing it in your pussy. Emerald eyes not even blinking for a second out of fear of missing even a single frame of the way you swallow him.
"Fuuuuuck!" you cry out at the stretch.
"Attagirl. Took it all in once. Keep it up and I might take you off my bad list, baby."
He starts off a few gentle strokes to get you used to it all before he puts his arms on your back, pushing you further against the mattress as he starts pounding into you like an animal.
"Fuckfuckfuck fucking god! I love your pussy. You feel so fucking good. Ughhh"
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Santa, pl—please. You're so big."
"I know, baby. But—ugh—you're takin' me sooo well. Fuck! Yeah, baby c'mon. Grind that ass on my cock. Yeaaaah just like that fuck!"
"G-gunna cum, anh anh ffu—ngh," you cry and your tears are soaked by the pillows. In another second, you're coming undone on his cock, screaming his name.
"Good girl. Good. Fucking. Girl." Each word enunciated with a deep plunge in your shivering pussy.
"You've been such a good girl. Santa's gonna give you a gift." Toji picks up his pace again, rolling his hips faster, the faux beard chafing your shoulders as he is putting all his weight on you, all his instincts telling him to breed you.
"Gunna give my sweet doll the greatest gift. You better take it all. 'm gonna make sure your pussy does. goddaaaamn nghh—" A few more deep thrusts and soon he is losing his composure, cumming and painting your insides with his thick leak.
"You better return the gift in nine months doll." You're too fucked in your brain to even register what he said.
The next morning you're not even making eye contact with Toji, too embarrassed to accept you were turned on by something so innocent. Good thing Megumi comes by the door running, helping you avoid the situation for a little longer.
"Aww come here, my boy. Did you have fun at Uncle Shiu's?" He nods. His little arms coming to hug you.
"So what gift ya got brat?" Toji asks the little sea urchin.
"I got a pink tiger with a red color bow. He is the best. I named him Yuuji." You chuckle, wiping the drool from corner of his lips. "And we ate fortune cookies."
"ohh! what did your cookie say?"
"It said Santa will bring a little sister next year." Blood rushes to your cheeks, your face heating up at the little boy's innocent comment, sounding completely sinful after scenes from last night play in your head. You bite the insides of your cheek.
"Mhm. Hope he does, babe." He kisses the top of the boy's head and then your temple. Yeah he is not the Christmas kinda guy. But this might be his new favorite holiday now.
#toji x reader#toji smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#fushiguro toji#toji x female reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n
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Yandere Naga King // Part 2
Part 1
Shian is the King of the Naga, the valued birthright of his family to one day earn the tribe’s respect as they murder the reigning King if they don’t offer their service to the heir. Many other tribes and kingdoms may say this is brutal but it was his way of life.
“My King! A warrior of the canine race was found on our borders–how would you like to proceed?”
“The same we always have. Devour them.”
“Yes, my King.”
It was how his family established a kingdom in a world where the human kingdom was in the mood to acknowledge different tribes as kingdoms. Word has it that a hero had come to the humans that would unite all the separate tribes with some peacekeeping power. Naturally, Shian thought such a thing was the stuff of dreams; instead was planning to make the journey to gauge the threat of this new being. But of course his strength brings so much attention the chatty little snakes couldn’t help sharing about the oddest thing.
“Did you? Did you hear?
“Yes! Yes, I did! So beautiful! A beautiful thing!”
“A naga youngling! A naga youngling and their human parent!”
“What a sight! What a sight to behold.”
Granted this news was not delivered maliciously but that didn’t matter to Shian. As King of the Naga it was his duty to protect the clear separation of all humans and Nagas. History and biology spoke volumes—Nagas are the better creatures. Shian was more eager than anything to prove this, especially on the journey to observe eliminate the hero meant to unite them all. But of course, this changes when he meets you.
“Oh (Y/n)! I saved our dearest Nox from a wild boar and I saved the body for a hearty meal!!! Can’t I come inside now!”
“No!”
“Please!? Wouldn’t you like it if I didn’t break the window, this time?”
Since he’s met you everything has changed. Now that he’s discovered that his destined mate is a fiery little human he’s had no choice but to reconsider. Now he can adore your flaws as a human and admire your unique traits even more. His skepticism about other humans hasn’t completely gone away but he’s plenty more merciful now that he has you to woo.
“HISSS State your name and business human!”
“-I-I- just wanted to deliver the fruits I always do sir!”
“Hmm my mate did mention something about their usual shipment….fine but thank your stars I’ve decided not to gorge myself on those eyes of yours.”
“Y-y-yes Sir!”
Not to mention you have an adorable little Naga son! Not that he finds Nox particularly cute on his own but it’s the words he parrots from you that make him a delight to be around. It’s a biological thing that Nagas interested in a mate aren’t fond of their children previous or otherwise. Even when they’re created together, there’s a strong chance that paternal love humans expect may never appear. But he’s found when he acts as though that’s what he’s doing you excuse more of his behavior.
“Now to strike with your tail you’ll have to shift your weight like this."
“Oh I see!”
“Yes…good job…”
“Are you looking back at the window, again?”
“Well of course I am! You said they were looking, right?!”
He does find that the more time he finds with Nox he doesn’t hate him. He’s sure if he was any other little snakeling in his kingdom he’d fully be invested but this is the snakeling in the way of attaining his mate’s complete attention. This is why it’s easier to blame him than accept you’re not very interested in giving him your attention anyway. It does annoy him that Nox isn’t unaware of this. The little narc snakeling is happy to string him along; baiting him with his praises to you to learn things from him.
“What?! I thought you weren’t watching the fight?!”
“I didn’t but the forest talks. So how do you move so fast across the forest like that?”
“Hmph that’s a secret. Family secret, actually.”
“Oh, that’s a shame…guess I ought to tell them you could never see us being a family.”
“What?! That’s not what I–”
“Guess I'll call out in one. Two. Thre–”
“Okay okay pay attention I’m only showing you once.”
“Yes!”
In the Naga King's heart of hearts he kind of really loves likes this domestic life with you two. It feels as though the whole world is right when he can spend all day following and pestering you as he learns more about you. But it won’t stay that way forever. And unfortunately, his entourage and advisors will find him. Reminding him of that pesky hero he has to eat meet. It’s simple to debate with his team about taking you with him or sending you back home to his newly constructed castle. Of course, he neglects to ask your opinion on the matter and must reap the consequences.
“My (Y/n)...why are all of my servants tied on the drying line?”
“They started moving my stuff. I thought I told you and your little buddies to stop touching my house.”
“ But how are we supposed to move you to my castle?”
“What?!”
“(Y/n)...please put down the knife!”
After talking you down committing his entire entourage to chores you wanted done he ordains that you should try accompanying him on his mission to the human kingdom. Leaving out the part about the hero he suggests that he leave some of his servants to tend to your home and babysit Nox. This is entirely so that he can convince you to come to his castle one day. Not just so he can enjoy some alone time with you. And while you’d like to refuse Nox thinks it’s awesome. When you aren’t chasing the Naga servants away they regard him with kindness and very giving. And it’s that same observation that has you kissing Nox goodbye as you depart for the human castle.
“Alright, Nox be good…try not to grow up too much while I’m gone.”
“Of course not…if you want I can send my shedded tail skin to you so you can ‘see me grow up. ”
“Nox don’t do that. That’ll be weird.”
“I thought so too but the others say it’s an endearing thing.”
It’s going to be hard, returning to civilization. Since you’ve been isekai’d you limited almost all of your interactions with other humans and now you were going to meet the protagonist. But you wouldn’t let your mind be completely occupied because you would be distracted by the obsessed Naga king.
Part 3: ....
#yandere x reader#yandere x you#lovelyyandereaddictionpoint#yanderexrea#yandere#yanderes#yandere ocs x reader#yandere oc#yandere oc naga king#yandere naga x reader#yandere naga king oc#yandere Naga King Shian#yandere original character#yandere male x reader#yandere male#male yandere x reader#yandere x darling#male yandere#yandere original characters#yandere monster#yandere x gn reader#yandere teratophilia#yandere monster oc#yandere monster original character
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