#and to any vicious ladies of the feathery persuasion

[marlynnofmany]

Since the Ides of March is coming literally next Friday, would it be too crazy of an idea to, writing-wise speaking, dust off the Stabby the Knife Roomba idea and add a little twist to it?

CAESAR THE CASSOWARY ROOMBA!

One robot would have a piece of poultry affixed to it and programmed to run away from other bots, programmed to flock and gangshank it. Maybe with subsequent not-entirely-sanitarily-sound consumption of the cut bits.

(EDIT: Also, part of the reason I chose cassowary was that I thought it would rhyme better in Russian ("цесарка Цезарь"), but it turns out that "цесарка" translates to "guinea fowl" (or "faraona" in Italian, lol), while "cassowary" means "казуар", which is a totally different bird from a different continent entirely (African savannas (probably Guinea) v. Australia & New Guinea, respectively))

Also, a pleasant Women's Day to you!

Fascinating idea! The funny thing is that my first mental picture of a "Cassowary Roomba" is one that would have a very strong chance of fighting back. Cassowaries are danger dinosaur birds.

I'd expect any Roomba themed after a cassowary to be an elite battle machine, possibly meant for stealth attacks on anyone unfamiliar with Earth fauna.

If, on the other hand, you really want to recreate the Ides of March, you could rig up a fleet of Roombas to be steered by pressure, and equip each one with a live chicken.

"Caesar" can be a fake chicken with a target on his back. Chickens are also vicious little dinosaurs who invented the pecking order.

"Et tu, Brut — Augh, my eye!"