#and though he is not my favorite director I’ve ever worked with

[lindsey-laufeyson]

Distractions- Chapter 10

Distractions Masterlist

Pairing: Reader x FWB!Tom Hiddleston

Series Warnings: SMUT, fluff, angst, friends with benefits

In all your years working in film, you couldn’t recall a single production that you weren’t looking forward to wrapping. And yet, here you were, the last week of filming, and you didn’t want it to end. Why would you? You’d never had this much fun on any other set before, the reason for which was currently in your bed, snoozing next to you. But it wasn’t just the fact that you were secretly sleeping with the star of the film, though that was a large part of it, you’d admit. 

Tom’s seemingly endless positivity as well as his intense passion for his craft was infectious. Practically everyone agreed that Tom was one of their favorite actors they’d ever worked with. So you knew that anyone you worked with going forward would pale in comparison. 

Your biggest concern, however, was how much time the two of you would be able to make for each other once you weren’t on the same schedule anymore. After all, you were both workaholics, not to mention Tom would have more opportunities to make other friends, so the possibility of the two of you drifting apart was very real.

“You okay?” Tom’s sleepy mumble pulled you from your thoughts. 

You turned onto your side to see that his eyes were still closed. “I’m fine,” you whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

He blearily opened one eye to look at you. “Your tossing and turning says otherwise.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No need to be sorry,” he replied with a yawn while he draped his arm over your waist and began lightly tracing patterns on your back. “What’s on your mind, Sweets?” Recently he began occasionally shortening ‘sweetheart’ to ‘Sweets,’ something you’d only heard him do with you.

You sighed, instantly feeling relaxed by his touch. “Just the fact that we’ll be wrapping soon.”

“Don’t remind me,” he groaned as he pulled you closer. “What on earth am I going to do without you putting your hands on me all day everyday?”

“I think you’ll survive,” you teased him. “I’ve got to give someone else a chance, haven’t I?”

He chuckled. “I haven’t even got my next project lined up and already you’re trying to pawn me off on someone else.”

“You were going to get bored of me eventually, Tommy. I’m only preparing for the inevitable.”

“How could I possibly get bored of you? There hasn’t been a single dull moment since this production started, for better or worse, and that’s largely because of you.”

“Well, unfortunately, it isn’t up to you or me whether we work together again or not.”

“I mean, I could potentially influence a director’s decision…”

“Absolutely not. You know the rules, Hiddleston. No professional favors.”

“Only joking, darling,” he defended. “But are you sure you’ll have time for me once you’ve started working on another film next week?” 

“Well, I’ve got to have some way to relieve tension after a long day, haven’t I?.” With a devilish grin, you leaned in and kissed him slowly and sensually.

“Unless you start a fling with one of your new clients,” he teased you once your lips parted.

Your mouth fell open in an incredulous gape. “I am nothing if not professional!” He gave you a skeptical look. “You are the rare exception.” When he opened his mouth to speak, you immediately added, “and if you mention Trevor, I will knee you in the dick!”

“I was simply going to say that I’m honored to be your rare exception.”

“Mhm. Sure you were.” You rolled your eyes. 

“So what exactly is bothering you then?”

You sighed. “Just anxious about starting a new job, I guess.”

He brushed your hair behind your ear and then slid his hand down your neck to your shoulder. “While I completely understand, I also know that you’ll adapt seamlessly to whatever is thrown at you. I mean, you had to deal with me of all people, so your next clients should be a breeze!”

“You know, you might be right. I’ve never met anyone who touches their hair and face more than you do.”

“Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking to touch and be touched,” he said, dragging the back of his index finger lightly across the skin of your breast and over your nipple.

“No, I suppose there isn’t,” you replied with a smirk. You bit your lip while your hand traveled down to his half-hard cock. “And here I thought you were still sleepy.”

“Well, we have to find some way to tire you out, now don’t we?”

…

The week flew by, and before you knew it, you were getting ready for the wrap party. Given how the last party went, you and Tom had decided that this time, neither of you would flirt with anyone, and you’d politely shut down anyone who tried. 

You were just putting on your earrings when you heard Tom pull up to your house in his jag. You quickly grabbed your clutch and met him outside. 

He was leaning against his car when he saw you walking out in your navy blue sundress with a plunging neckline. He raised his eyebrows as he looked you up and down. “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to go change.”

“What?” You looked down at your dress in confusion. “Why?”

“Because we agreed that we didn’t want anyone else flirting with either of us,” he began as he walked toward you. “And yet here you are looking absolutely irresistible.” 

You put your hands on your hips and smirked up at him as he approached you. “I’m sorry, but I get dressed up for me and no one else.”

“Well, if you won’t take that dress off then I guess I’ll just have to do it myself.” He gave you a sly smirk before taking your hand and leading you toward your house.

You giggled as you tried pulling him back toward the car. “Thomas William! We are going to be late!”

He let out an exasperated sigh and turned around to let you drag him to the car. “But that dress is coming off the moment we get back to my place tonight!” 

“Whatever you say, Tommy.” You winked at him as you got into the car.

…

When you arrived at the party, everyone was in good spirits, clearly excited to be finished with production. Tom, of course, was immediately summoned by several people to join them. He looked over at you as if he was torn between socializing and spending the whole night with you. 

“Go mingle,” you told him. “I’ll be at the bar with Kaitlyn.”

“Fine, but remember, darling,” he leaned in close and lowered his voice. “Tonight you're mine.”

It sent a shiver down your spine and heat to your core. “Oh really? Because I think you’ll find it’s the other way around,” you replied, and with a wink, you turned and headed to the bar, knowing he’d be watching you walk away.

“Well, don’t you look like a snack,” Kaitlyn said as you walked up to her. “Who are you hoping to go home with this time?”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “No one. I am not having a repeat of last time.” You sat down on the bar stool next to her. “Can’t I just look hot for the sake of looking hot?”

“Absolutely, you can!” Kaitlyn replied enthusiastically, raising her drink to you. “Though I do hope you’re prepared to be hit on at least once or twice tonight.” She giggled and took a sip. She was tipsy already.

“Then I hope whoever does is prepared for rejection.” You turned to the bartender who had just approached you. “Aperol Spritz, please?” 

“Are you certain there’s absolutely no one here who you’d spend the night with if he asked?” While taking another sip of her drink Kaitlyn raised her eyebrows while her eyes darted in the direction of where Tom was standing and then back to you. 

You scoffed. “Oh come off it, Kait. How many times do I have to tell you that we’re just friends.”

“As a person with the ability of sight,” she emphasized dramatically, “you cannot tell me you don’t want to climb that tree.”

That made you laugh. “Just because you fancy him doesn’t mean everyone else does too.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“You’re right, I am, because it’s a silly question.” Again, you turned to the bartender who handed you your drink. “Thank you so much.” Kaitlyn opened her mouth to speak but you stopped her. “Look, Kait, can we just drop it? I just want to have a fun last hurrah with everybody tonight, alright?”

“Fine,” she reluctantly agreed, like a child who’d just been told by their mum that they couldn’t have the candy bar they wanted.

…

After a couple of hours of socializing, swapping stories from on set, and occasional stolen glances between you and Tom, the pair of you ended up in the middle of a circular booth with Warren sat next to Tom, and Kaitlyn next to you.

“Ooh! Let’s play Truth or Dare!” Kaitlyn suggested excitedly.

“I dunno, Kait,” you hesitated. “Isn’t that game more for children and American frat boys? Not to mention we’re in public.”

“Oh come on! Live a little!” Warren chimed in. “Besides, if you don’t want to do something, all you have to do is finish your drink instead!”

You looked to Tom for back up. “Could be fun,” he shrugged. You raised your eyebrows at him, surprised he was on board with this idea. 

With a sigh, you conceded. “Alright, fine. But the minute it gets weird, I’m out.”

“Yay!” Kaitlyn cheered and clapped her hands. “Who wants to go first?” She looked eagerly around the booth. 

“I have one,” Warren said casually. “Tom, truth or dare?”

“I suppose. I’ll have to say dare,” Tom replied confidently.

“I dare you to deliver a toast to the whole room,” Warren began. 

Tom scoffed “Easy enough.”

Warren held a finger up, “But you must work the word ‘dildo’ into your speech.”

“I’m so glad we can play this game as mature adults,” you commented sarcastically. 

Tom thought about the challenge for only a few seconds before getting up to stand on his seat and deliver his toast, and it was magnificent. The entire room was captivated by the eloquence of his moving yet, at times, rather humorous speech. You even saw a few people tear up. The most impressive part to you, however, was how seamlessly he worked in his challenge word where you’d least expect it, and without anyone even batting an eye.

Warren stared at Tom in awe as he sat back down. “Are you just effortlessly good at everything?”

“Annoying, isn’t it?” you said, pointing your beer bottle in Warren’s direction. He nodded in agreement. 

Tom waved him off. “I’m rubbish at loads of things– maths being just one example– but the oral arts are kind of my specialty.”

While you almost choked on your beer and subtly kicked him under the table, Warren just laughed. “I‘ll bet they are!” 

Kaitlyn blushed. “Shall we continue our game?”

“Alright, Kait,” Tom said. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” she responded without missing a beat. “I have nothing to hide.”

“If you could go home with anyone in the club tonight, who would it be?”

Kaitlyn turned bright red, “Erm, on second thought…” and downed the rest of her drink.

The rest of you laughed and cheered her on as she chugged. Once she finished, you nudged her with your elbow. “Nothing to hide, huh?” You gave her a cheeky wink as she scowled at you. 

“Fine then,” she said, regaining her confidence and looking smugly at you. “Truth or dare?”

You smirked, knowing that if you said ‘truth,’ she’d ask you the same thing Tom had asked her, and you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. “Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss someone at this table.”

Warren and Tom both oohed scandalously, but you were unphased. Oh, innocent little Kaitlyn. You were willing to bet that she thought that Tom would be the clear choice, given that Warren was gay and you and Kaitlyn were both straight, but you were more than prepared to throw her for a loop. You looked round the table, as if you weren’t quite sure what you would do. Then, without warning, you kissed Kaitlyn full on the lips, being sure to show her what an amazing kisser you were, no matter who was on the receiving end. When you finally pulled away, she looked like a deer in headlights. You tipped your beer to her. “Ask and you shall receive, m’lady,” you boasted before taking a swig.

Tom and Warren both laughed, but you felt Tom’s hand briefly give your upper thigh a firm, lingering squeeze before retracting. Somehow you could tell that it wasn’t so much playful as it was possessive. It made you wet, and you weren’t wearing any panties. You crossed your legs and cleared your throat. 

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” Kaitlyn asked in awe.

You smiled proudly. “Loads of experience, my dear.”

“I believe it’s your turn, darling,” Tom interjected with what almost sounded like irritation.

“Right. Kaitlyn, truth or dare?” 

Her expression turned from awe to indignation. “What? But no one’s had a go at Warren yet!”

“You’ll have no complaints from me!” Warren assured with a chuckle.

Kaitlyn huffed. “Fine. Dare.”

“I dare you to finish one of those abandoned, half empty drinks over there.” You pointed to the vacant table across the room. 

She looked at the drinks in question with a grimace, which quickly turned to a look of determination. Then she stood up and made for the abandoned table.

“Atta girl!” you encouraged her.

When she reached her destination, she casually leaned against the high top table while she scoped out her options. 

“She’s not going to do it,” Warren said.

“Oh have a little faith, will you?” you chided him.

Sure enough, Kaitlyn chose her chalice and downed it in one gulp, wincing as she swallowed. You all cheered as she walked back to the booth. When she sat back down, Tom reached across you to give her a high five. “Well done, Kait!” When he settled back down, he draped his arm across the back of the booth behind you and you could have sworn he’d moved a little closer to you. Smooth, you thought. 

And on you went with the game, telling juicy, innocuous truths and doing silly little dares until Kaitlyn decided to switch things up a bit.

“I have a dare for all of us!” Kaitlyn announced. “Though maybe it would be considered a truth… Not sure. Anyway! Let’s do a round of Fuck, Marry, Kill!”

“Who are our choices?” you asked.

She looked at you as if it were obvious. “The people at this table, silly!” You wondered if she’d gone from tipsy to drunk at this point.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Tom asked Kaitlyn.

“It’s all in good fun!” she replied. “And I already dared you all, so you play or you drink! I’ll go first.” She looked around the table as she contemplated her answer. “Well, if that kiss was any indication, I think I’d fuck Y/n, marry Tom– because I think he would make the cutest hubby–” Yeah, she was drunk. “And kill Warren because I can’t fuck him or marry him, no offense.”

“None taken,” Warren replied.

“Who’s next?” Kaitlyn asked excitedly.

You sighed dramatically, “If I must.” You proceeded with the first thought that popped into your head. “Fuck Tom– because why not–” you began, hoping to sound as flippant as you intended. “–marry Warren so we can fuck whoever we like with no complicated feelings–” You and Warren high-fived. “–and kill Kaitlyn for making us play this horrid game.” 

“You bitch!” Kaitlyn gasped playfully.

Tom raised his hand slightly. “I’ll go next, if I may.” Suddenly you found yourself very curious and a bit anxious for his answer. “Between the three of you, I’d have to say, Fuck Warren– could be fun,” he added with a wink.

“Yes, Daddy!” Warren responded seductively. 

Tom chuckled as he continued. “Marry Y/n– because she’s my best friend, obviously– and kill Kaitlyn.” He turned to her. “Sorry love, but you were the only one left.”

While Kaitlyn looked thoroughly disappointed, you and Tom just laughed, though you felt something in your stomach that you couldn’t quite place. Meanwhile Tom’s ears, cheeks, and chest were bright red. Was he embarrassed? Whatever it was, it was pretty damn adorable.

“I guess that leaves me,” Warren said, pulling you away from your thoughts. “I mean, obviously I’d fuck Tom, but then I’m out, because whether I marry Y/n or kill her, Tom would kill me either way.”

Tom laughed. “Oh, I would absolutely kill you if you killed Y/n, but why do you think I’d kill you if you married her?”

Warren looked skeptical. “Are you saying you wouldn’t?”

“Not at all,” Tom replied, only semi-convincingly. “In fact, I’d give you my blessing.”

“Looks like we have a wedding to plan,” you joked as you raised your beer bottle. “To me and Warren!” Tom and Warren joined in your toast, while Kaitlyn still sulked.

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that all three of you said you’d kill me?” she interjected. 

You put your arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Aw, darling, you know we all love you. It’s just a game! One you made us play, I might add.”

“Can we just go back to Truth or Dare?” she pleaded. 

“Alright,” you conceded. The two men groaned. “But just one more.”

Kaitlyn immediately perked up. “I have one for you and Tom, actually.” Uh oh. “Truth or dare?”

At this point you didn’t know which would be worse. “Dare? I guess?” You looked at Tom for confirmation and he sheepishly shrugged. Then you looked back at Kaitlyn, wincing in anticipation for what was to come.

A devious smile stretched across her face. “I dare you to kiss each other.”

“Must you be so adolescent?” you complained, though, admittedly, you kind of saw this coming.

Before she could respond, Tom swiftly grabbed your face and kissed you hard on the lips. Your eyes went wide as soon as your lips made contact, but you quickly melted into it. Well, if you were going to do it, you might as well make the most of it and give everyone a good show. You climbed on his lap, his hands moving to your waist, and the two of you continued to snog shamelessly. All the while, not only were Kaitlyn and Warren clapping and cheering, but you realized the entire crew had stopped what they were doing and joined in the applause with various whoops and wolf whistles. Some shouting “Fucking finally!” while others gave you the classic “Get a room!” Without missing a beat, you and Tom both flipped everyone off without even coming up for air. 

When your lips finally parted, you did so with an exaggerated bravado, before turning to Kaitlyn. “There,” Tom said between panting breaths. “Happy now?”

She let out a squeal that made you and Tom flinch. “Are you kidding? You guys are the most adorable couple I’ve ever seen!” 

You let out an irritated sigh. “Yeah. Not a couple.” You looked down at Tom. “And I think that’s our cue to leave. Shall we?” 

“Right behind you,” Tom said as you climbed off his lap.

“Noooo,” Kaitlynn whined. “You can’t leave now!” 

You gave her a commiserative look. “Sorry, Kait. This was loads of fun, but I’m tired.” She folded her arms and pouted. “Make sure she gets home safe, yeah?” you told Warren before you and Tom made your way toward the door. 

“Oi!”  Warren called as he caught up to you. You and Tom turned around. “So how long have you two been shagging then?”

You both feigned confusion. “What? Pfft. That’s just… we totally aren’t…” you both stammered incoherently before quickly giving up. “Since the beginning of production,” you admitted in defeat. 

“I knew it!”

This time your confusion was genuine. “How?”

“My ex and I used to kiss the way you lot just did.”

You and Tom shook your heads. “Like Y/n told Kaitlyn, we’re not a couple,” Tom explained.

Warren chuckled. “A couple of idiots, more like,” he said, almost to himself. “Have a goodnight you two!” And with a wave he turned and walked back over to Kaitlyn.

“What the bloody hell was that all about?” you wondered aloud as you watched Warren walk away..

“I don’t know,” Tom replied. “But I’ve had a semi since you got off my lap, so I’d really like to get back to mine so we can finish what we started.”

You snickered and gave him a playful shove before quickly walking out the door with him at your heels.

…

During the entire drive to Tom’s place he kept his hand on your thigh, like he needed to be touching you at all times, staking his claim. It was only making the heat in your core worse, and you found yourself getting wetter by the second. Finally, when you arrived in Tom’s garage you went to open your door, eager to get in the house, but Tom stopped you. 

“Stay right there, darling,” he told you. He got out of the car and walked around to your side to open your door for you, holding your hand to help you get out and stand up. As soon as you were standing and the door was shut behind you, his fingers tangled into your hair, bringing his lips to yours in a feverish kiss. You both sighed and whimpered, desperate to satiate the hunger you’d felt for each other all day. He pressed your back up against the car in an attempt to deepen the kiss, his fingers digging into your hips. “You won’t believe how many men I caught staring at you tonight,” he panted between kisses. “It was infuriating.” 

“Is that why you did Kaitlyn’s silly dare and kissed me in front of everyone?” you asked as he began kissing your neck. 

“I had to show all of them who you belonged to tonight now didn’t I?” He lifted his head and smirked at you while he slipped one hand under your dress, his fingers grazing against your slick inner thighs until they found your naked slit, dripping with arousal. He tilted his head as his mouth fell open and his jaw jutted forward. “Had I known you weren’t wearing any panties, we would have left the party hours ago.”

You felt his middle finger glide through your folds and ghost over your clit, ushering a gasp from your lungs. Then you smiled. “And spoil the surprise? I think it was far more satisfying this way.”

Suddenly he crashed his lips against yours, your tongues tangling frantically. Reaching down between your bodies, you clamored to free his cock from his slacks. Once you’d done so, you slipped your hand in his pocket and pulled out the condom, effortlessly tearing it open and rolling it on without even looking. Tom then grabbed your legs and hoisted them up, hitching them over his hips before thrusting into you. The sound of panting, grunting, and moaning filled the garage as he rolled his hips relentlessly into yours. Your fingernails clawed at the back of his shirt, while he gripped your ass with one hand and fondled your breast with the other. Your moans grew louder with every thrust, his length gliding in and out of you at an angle that felt so incredible, it quickly sent you over the edge. He pressed his forehead to yours and gave a few final thrusts as you both came at the same time, gasping and moaning in time with each other.

After he stilled, you both stayed there for a moment, nothing but the sounds of your heavy breaths lingered in the air. Finally, he gently let your feet touch the floor again before resting his hands on your waist and lightly rubbing the tip of his nose across your cheekbone and temple. 

“I thought you said my dress would come off the moment we came back to your place,” you said, still catching your breath.

“Well, technically, we’ve not gone in the house yet,” he countered. “And I couldn’t have possibly waited another second before I had to have you.”

“That’s rather fortunate, because neither could I.” You giggled as he kissed you again, this time more slow and sensual. When the kiss ended he looked a bit dazed. 

“Now off you pop to the bedroom, Sweets. I’m nowhere near done with you.”

Taglist: @chronicallybubbly, @the-princess-of-loki, @princess-ofthe-pages, @darcylikesloki, @kikster606, @foxherder

[the-curse-of-neoclones]

Moderneopets Artist Mistreatment

Edit as of 11/16/23 10:40 AM NST:

Removed names where I failed to do so before. I'm very sorry to the affected parties, this snowballed so far out of my intended scope.

Edit as of 11/16/23 5:30 PM NST

Please see this post for a small update.

As of 11/16/23 10:10 PM NST, Hazer the site owner has formally and publicly apologized to myself and Velu, the other affected artist. As far as I'm concerned he has officially handled the situation as best as he could, and I hold no further qualms with Moderneopets. I hope to hear of its management continuing in this direction.

The following post is left up for archival purposes only.

*****

Hello, I’m wren. I'm an artist responsible for some of the pet assets on the neoclone, Moderneopets. I'm just going to get into it.

Hazer was extremely lucky to somehow cultivate a dense group of largely professional artists to work together to make assets for his site. When it comes to his own management as a site runner, he’s largely hands-off of the art department, which is a good thing! If he can’t be active in the art panel enough to know what goes on in there, he shouldn’t be running it— we have many strong, capable artists on the team who are passionate about recreating the neopets style, who work together on every pet that has been released ever since critique became a requirement. 

It makes sense that, with a project this large, Hazer should have to designate moderators to enforce rules when he is absent. Choosing to bring on moderators was also a good decision. Unfortunately, he chose poorly. 

Art panel issues should have separate Art panel moderators to take care of them. People who are not overburdened with generic moderation duties from the many other channels of the server, for example. In the same vein, artists should not be moderators. When an artist has an issue with another artist, who happens to be a moderator (which has happened many times, with many people— If the mods actually open threads for all complaints they receive, they should have evidence of this & if they don’t they are not being truthful), the artist would likely not feel comfortable approaching that same artist-slash-moderator to complain about what happened. It breeds an aura of fear and discomfort any time there is an issue with an artist/mod, and that is why the two moderators on the team should have to choose one or the other if hazer wants to cultivate a healthy atmosphere in his panel. 

I’ve created many pets for this website. Neopets has been a passion of mine since the third grade. I’m also one of those professional artists I mentioned— my work is also art, industry or otherwise. I care about breaking neopets down into their core, recognizable shapes. I care about keeping them on-model and in the spirit of the original TNT art team, with improvements made where I and the other panelists think they make sense. I have redlined for other artists to an even greater degree, just as other artists have redlined for me and helped me finalize each pet into something simply good: something that made sense to get put on a little passion project website for other people with a similar passion to enjoy. I found the panel to be a community of likeminded artists with which to discuss our favorite childhood petsite while we made art for a clone, as if we could pretend we were making art for neopets-dot-com. It was nice. 

It wasn’t perfect, though. In fact, shortly after I joined in 2021 I took a hiatus because the art panel was fairly dead. I came back a little while later to see we had several new species, as well as an art director, and lots of activity! That was very exciting. Over the next year I would reach out to the panel or, if nobody was sure of how to proceed, I would reach out to the art director to propose ideas for how to make the panel a little more functional; quality of life updates, if you will. I don’t take credit for all of these alone, there were other artists with similar ideas all communicating to the director in private, but some examples: 

A designated “collab” zone where artists could seek out other artists to complete pets with. 

“The Purge,” in which the team was whittled down to ~25 current, active artists to refresh the team and allow for new artists to join. 

“The Approval System,” which I first sat down with in my workshop (public to all artists) to hammer out the details with as many other artists as wanted to give their input— a method for pitching new ideas to eventually break through the “new species/color freeze” that had been plaguing us.

Speaking on the approval system: like most things that required Hazer’s direct input in the art team, it was left without response for a very long time. Artists with ideas for custom species or colors would occasionally murmur about their excitement for the system to get a look-over by hazer, to see if our approval system pitch would be approved. But hazer is busy, as we all know, and the pitch sat for a while. We had new & returning artists on the team to keep everyone busy. 

What I would expect from a years-old panel of artists, when new additions arrive, would be some manner of tutorial. New artists would need to know the pipeline (here’s your workshop, you can post WIPs and anything else in there; here’s how you ping for critique, here are the spaces in which to ask for it; make sure you always ping before your work is submitted on-site), and there would likely be some acclimating on both sides. What I did not expect (but should have), was pushback from new artists on things that hadn’t had pushback in a long time. Why can’t [x] color be a posechange? Well, we’ve created many already and none of them were posechanges. Why can’t I use colored lineart? Well, that isn’t in line with the style standards set by this color; see, nobody else is coloring their lineart. 

Suddenly there was a divide between veteran artists, the director, and the new blood. The divide felt greater when Hazer came to his new artist’s aid to say, approximately: “Eh, if someone wants to go above and beyond and make better art, they shouldn’t have to adhere to the guidelines.” Then he threw the art director under the bus for not somehow knowing that his intentions were always to keep the panel loose and unstructured. But don’t worry, that isn’t the first bus and won’t be the last.

My personal investment in the panel waned around that time. I think a structured “work” environment with easily accessible rules and deadlines is necessary to any project of this size. If we didn’t want to enforce color standards, nor prioritize certain colors for release, and anyone could just submit whatever Nice Art they wanted, why not open it up so any user could submit pet art? Why have a panel at all? Isn’t Hazer taking any opportunity to dunk on Leopets because he wants his site to be better? How is this different? 

But I stuck around. This was a hobby I really enjoyed, after all, and I really believed it could get better. It had a good core, and despite my grievances with individual artists, none of them were bad people. 

But I noticed some trends. New artists would receive feedback that they didn’t agree with and retaliate by bringing in their emotions or personal preferences. Any disagreement where multiple veteran artists stepped in to say their piece would escalate to the point of very long messages on both sides, and would need to be left to hazer to give a final input. Often he didn’t come around to it, because he’s busy, as we know. I didn’t step in to every argument; they became cyclical after a while, and I didn’t have the time or energy to spend simply tapping the proverbial sign (or style sheet). I would try to give positive suggestions when I could, for example: I don’t think this color needs another alt for just one single design, but we did talk about eventually making this color that your design would fit into really well. 

I’ve done my time having arguments on the internet. I really just want an art environment where the rules are set and people actually enjoy following them, because I do— I see art rules as helpful guidelines at best and obstacles to cleverly navigate at worst, which is still fun. But of course not everyone is going to feel the same way, that’s normal; that’s life. 

On 11/9 I was given this message by Hazer: 

It reads:

Hello wren,

I am reaching out to you today to inform you that effective immediately you are being dismissed from the Artist and Consultant Panels. This decision has been reached through discussions and based on repeated offences in the form of user harassment and subjecting the panels to a toxic atmosphere, after multiple reports and concerns brought up to us by other users.

While we understand concerns regarding panel management, there is a distinct difference between criticising and condeming the way the panel does things and criticising and condeming users that are on the panel, and we believe this line has been crossed one too many times, further supported by concerns brought to us.

We appreciate the passion and drive of our team—all of them—and we understand you have been very passionate about the panel. Given some of the messages we see, we have also concluded that due to things in the panel not working out as you have wished, it has caused you much stress and upset as well, which we do not want. All in all, we've decided that the atmosphere of the panel and your own enjoyment of the website are hampered by your presence on it. Because of this, we have decided it is best to have you part ways with the staff sections of the website.

Effective immediately after this message, we will be permanently removing you from the panels. While normally we do a temporary removal, in this case we've seen that your compatability with our management and handling of the panel will not improve, and it will just bring stress to both sides.

We understand you have put a lot of passion into the projects you have been working on for release in Moderneopets, and in lieu of that, we offer you the option of having the project(s) still be released even after dismissal. Rewards will still be granted for releases per usual, and credit will still be given. If you decide, due to dismissal, you do not want your unreleased work to be released on Moderneopets, simply state it as such, and we will discard all progress on projects you have been working on to respect those wishes.

This decision is final and will not be revoked.

Best wishes to you,

The Moderneopets Team

[end caption]

My response:

It reads: 

No warnings huh?

[end caption]

Hazer didn’t have an answer for me. I was already removed from the panel. 

This came as a shock. I’d been there for over two years, I felt I had a good rapport with the other artists, I felt I’d been a helpful and active addition to the team. Like I said, I’ve done my time having arguments on the internet… what toxic behavior? Discussions over style guides? Giving redlines to people with permission? Working with the whole team to bolster several new color releases? I had an entire species that Hazer wanted ready to go since March— I just pushed through the Swamp Gas release, I just created the Mystical alt? 

No warnings?

Let me reiterate: I have never been spoken to by any staff about my behavior. Hazer, his then-four moderators— none of them have ever been in my DMs to issue a warning. I have spoken TO the mods about others’ behaviors, and nothing ever came of it. The one time (and I mention this for full transparency only) the art director came to talk to me about something I said, it was stated clearly that it was not a warning, and even so I adjusted my behavior around said issue accordingly. And that was well before the purge. 

But, don’t take my word for it. Here it is from hazer himself, speaking over his mods who were busy telling the rest of the panel that they always issue warnings: 

It reads:

No in this case I do agree that this has been an abrupt situation and I understand the blind-sided-ness of it. No official warnings were given out regarding the actions that resulted in the removal of artists today and that’s on fault of myself and deebs not working things out properly despite the moderation team bringing issues to a us a few times – also due to our lack of availability recently.  [end caption]

So… What happened? Well… here it is from Hazer, in longform: 

For those who use screen readers, above are several enormous discord screenshots; I've placed it in a paste bin here: https://pastebin.com/dHLiBRTF

Two other artists immediately stepped down. Hazer admits here in his message that he and the mods had multiple tickets opened about my behavior, that they had known they wanted to remove me. They never gave a warning, never talked to me until the moment of my dismissal, but they had known it was coming for months? 

Why did Hazer and his gang of mods let me continue working on art for their panel? Why did they let me work so hard to pull Swamp Gas together for an official release? Why did they let me put together a whole custom Alt and workshop it for so long? I’ve been active this whole time. Why did you let me keep working if you knew you wanted me gone? 

I am a professional artist. My work is art. Hazer made the knowing decision to exploit my time and effort for his website. He’s not paying me, he’s not paying any of us. It’s volunteer work. But I did not volunteer to be mistreated like this. To not even be given a chance to defend myself. To him, artists are disposable. To him, if someone has worked on your team for years but speaks up when your friend tries to overturn the system, even civil discussion is cause for disposal. Civil discussion negates years of effort, passion, time and care. 

I didn’t have to make art for you, Hazer. And you don’t deserve the team you have. How many artists have voiced their discomfort with your actions? How many artists are taking a break from the panel because of how you handled this? Ah, wait, you wouldn’t know… you’re busy. 

Hazer and his mod team are just another corrupt group of individuals unfortunately heading what could have been a fun and promising petsite. Everyone who speaks praise of modneo does it by and large because of the new and unique art. Hazer was extremely lucky to cultivate a dense group of largely professional artists to work together to make assets for his site. 

If Hazer wants to show any sign of his potential to be a better person, I believe he needs to formally apologize to his site for the misuse of his power and the mistreatment and exploitation of artists on his team. He needs to apologize to you, the players of his game, the subscribers to his patreon, for allowing this to happen under his watch and under his word. You know you fucked up, hazer. You shouldn’t have sided with your friend without any actual evidence of misconduct. You shouldn’t have spoken about me like I was a toxic, subhuman hindrance to your art team. You shouldn’t have treated me like that. I didn’t deserve it. None of us did. You can apologize to me and the other lost artists publicly.

[mrs-johansson]

Strangers in the night - Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Part 20:

“Today we are joined by an amazing actress, director, and screenwriter. You’ve seen her in films like Red Sparrow, Lady Bird, and the Divergent trilogy. Please welcome, Y/n Cole,” called out James Corden and I walked out from the back.

I sat on the sofa and before we started he introduced the other guest. Ellen fucking Pompeo. “Oh my god hi,” I stood up and Ellen spread her arms with a wide smile. “Hi!” She said and we hugged. “I am fangirling, so sorry,” we all sat down. “I’m guessing you’re a Grey’s Anatomy fan, Y/n,” started James. “Are you kidding? I live and breathe by Grey’s Anatomy,” I said and the crowd laughed along with Ellen. “It’s season 15 now, who is your favorite character at the moment?” “Ugh… I looove Meredith,” I glanced at Ellen and she smiled. “I truly think since Derek died, she’s a better character in general. I love Jo, oh Amelia, she’s the best. Alex is one of my favorites too, along with Bailey. I can’t choose!” I sighed and shook my head. “Do you watch the show often?” Asked James. “Oh yeah. Very often. Actually, I made my girlfriend watch it with me, so we started at the beginning,” I said, already nervous about what was coming now that I mentioned Scarlett. James saw the opportunity and with a smile, he started talking. “Now that you’ve mentioned, you just went public with your girlfriend who’s none other than Scarlett Johansson,” he said and the crowd erupted in cheers and I just shyly smiled. “I was genuinely surprised when I saw your post. I haven’t heard any rumors or that kind of talk around the two of you,” he said. “That was a struggle, believe me,” I chuckled, and then so did the crowd. “We did our very best to lay low at all times. And we just shot Jojo Rabbit so it was very important for us not to look like we’re just trying to promote the movie, so we just laid low for a while now.” “But you’re happy?” Asked James and I smiled very widely just knowing how happy I actually am. “I can’t even describe how happy I am. It just feels… right,” I explained even though I could barely put my feelings into words.

***

“Please water them Scar, they're gonna die if you don’t,” I basically whined as she helped me move my suitcases into the car outside. “I will water your plants every day,” she let the suitcase over to my driver who put it in the truck. “Thank you,” I said and he sat behind the wheel. “Have fun and text me when you can. I’ll bring Rose when I can,” Scarlett took my hands. Smiling cutely. “I will. I’ll miss you but it’s gonna be fun when I come home,” I smiled and she nodded. “It sure will.” “Okay, I need to leave. I love you,” I gave her a long kiss before pulling her in a hug. “I love you too.”

I got into the car and we made our way to the airport where I got on the plane and took off to Massachusetts.

On the plane I’ve read the script multiple times, memorizing my bigger parts.

When I touched down I checked into the hotel and because we have a tight schedule, the table read was just 2 hours after my landing.

Getting all my essentials for the rest of the day and I was at the office in no time.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so comfortable going into a new project. I’ve worked with the director before, I’ll have Flo there and Timmy, and the only thing I was nervous about is Meryl Streep. I don’t think I need to explain that.

I walked into the room and I spotted Florence right away, who was speaking to Emma Watson and Eliza Scanlen. There was Greta Gerwig at the front table talking with probably the producers. I didn’t see Timothée anywhere so I quickly texted him but then I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned around and I was faced with the icon herself, Meryl Streep. “I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry. I just wanted to say hi, before we start,” she said and I was just standing there, my mouth dry. The next thing I know something just hit me in the back. Like a crumpled piece of paper. Quickly cleaned my throat and answered. “Sorry,” I chuckled. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m such a big fan of yours, but I’m sure you get this from everyone,” I mumbled, trying to not faint. “Oh well, it’s not the same from everyone, so thank you. But, I must say I’m also a fan of your work. Red Sparrow was amazing,” said MERYL STREEP. I can’t wait to tell my dad about this. “Wow, uhm… thank you so much. It means a lot,” I smiled and with a hand on my shoulder once again she stepped away and went over to Greta. Timmy literally jumped to my side and I’m sure he heard everything because he had a big smile on his face, his eyebrows almost meeting with his hairline from the excitement. “That was siiick,” he whisper-yelled and shook me by the shoulders. “I just can’t believe that happened,” I said. I spoke with everyone a little, and I was really excited about this movie.

After we all got our seats, Greta spoke a few words and we started.

We had such a great time. Everyone was laughing and when something emotional happened we all paid attention to those who were in the scene.

Around 8 pm we finished and it was amazing. We all had great chemistry with each other so I think this is gonna work out really well.

“Do you guys want to go have dinner? I know a great place,” I suggested and most of them accepted the invite.

Timothée, Florence and I got into one car and Emma, Eliza, James and Laura into the other one. Laura needed a little convincing to tag along because she said “I’m too old to go with all of you”, but she’s way too cool not to come with us.

We all fell into conversation pretty quickly as we got to the restaurant. Everyone was talking to someone and I think everyone felt comfortable with one another. “So you get to experience both Noah and Greta’s directing methods, that must be interesting,” I said to Laura who was sitting next to me. “Yeah, it’s so fun. Both of them are so different but I’m sure they’ll have some similarities.” “You guys shot the whole of Marriage Story on film, right?” “Yes, but I’m sure Scarlett told you all about it,” she smiled cheekily. I smiled shyly and nodded. “She did, yeah. I love the story so much, it’s just so full of love and your character just seems so fun and cool,” I said. “It is an amazing story. Noah did such a great job with the script. But let’s not talk about work in off time too, I could barely get Scarlett away from her phone while working,” she bumped her shoulder to mine and I just smiled. “I uhm… we talked a lot that time yeah,” I said and Laura smiled knowingly. “Ah well her smile was different. She was happy and glowing. I think you surprised everyone, but I could tell it’s genuine. I’m glad you have each other.”

***

“Hello?” Heard the voice over the phone. “Scarlett? Baby, hi,” I mumbled as I saw her beautiful face on the screen. “Okay, you’re drunk. First day went well then,” she chuckled adorably. “It was so fun! Oh my God, Meryl Streep is amazing. She said Red Sparrow was amazing. Funny because I’m naked in that one,” I said while taking my dress off, but I accidentally stumbled onto the couch. “Careful there.” “I’m fine,” I threw the dress on the floor and made my way to the bed. “Take off your makeup before you go to bed, baby,” said Scarlett over the phone. “I don’t want to though,” I whined as I sat on the fluffy bed. “You’ll thank me tomorrow.” “Fine,” I sighed and moved to the bathroom. “How was your day?” I mumbled as I fidgeted with my skincare bag. “It was good. We had some reshoots for Endgame so it was fun,” she said. “Oh don’t tell me any spoilers or I’m gonna cry,” I started to take my makeup off. “I won’t, I won’t. I think you’re gonna like it though.” “Yeah? I’m sure you’ll look hot in it so I’m not worried,” I smirked at the screen and she just laughed. “I’ve never seen you this drunk before, how much did you have?” “Just a couple glasses to be honest,” I shrugged. “Aha, I’m not so sure about that.” “I’m telling you, it wasn’t a lot.” “If I text Laura, are you sure she’s gonna say the same thing?” I glanced down at the phone and a smile pulled on my lips. “No.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought, but I’m glad you’re already having fun. I’m sure it’s gonna be a great shoot.” “Oh my god, yeeees. I love everyone so much,” I threw the makeup wipes in the trash and rinsed my face with cold water before going back to the bedroom. “Take a painkiller in case this all goes to hell. And drink a lot of water.” “I’ve been drunk before, I know how this works Mom,” I chuckled. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, baby.” “I know, I know. Thank you for that,” I blew a kiss towards the screen. “Always. What’s the plan tomorrow?” She asked. As I could see, she was just lying in bed with glasses and a big sweatshirt on. The TV reflected from her glasses making it a bit difficult to see her eyes. “Rehearsals for the next week and just after that we start shooting. But I can’t waaaait, I’m so excited for this one. I just know that it’s gonna be so so good and fun,” I laid down in bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. “I’m excited for you and to see it. Have you done a period movie yet, I don’t think so, right?” “Not this old, no. The latest was the Gatsby I think,” I yawned while trying hard to focus on the conversation. “You should go to bed, Y/n,” Scarlett said as she got up from her bed. “I really should but I love talking to my girlfriend, she’s kinda fun you know,” I rolled over to my stomach, trying to get comfortable. “Yeah? Well, your girlfriend is not going anywhere so you can speak to her whenever you’re free.” “I know,” I said slowly, just looking at the screen and admiring how amazing she was. “I love you,” I said, still feeling the booze. “I love you too, you drunk. Go to bed, honey. Text me when you wake up, okay?” She said softly with the cutest smile on her face. “I will. I love you.” “I love you too, sleep well.” “You too.”

***

All the cast members filled up the room as we were waiting for Greta. Florence on my right side and Timothée on the left. Sunglasses on both of their faces, sliding off their chairs, heads tilted back. “How are you not dead?” Murmured Timmy as he pulled the hood of his sweater over his head. “I have an amazing girlfriend who takes care of me. And you crazy people just downed every glass you found on the table,” I gave him a bottle of water. “Thanks.”

“Alright everybody, I hope you had a good night's sleep. Today is like to go through some of the bigger monologues so we can work on those if it’s necessary,” Greta explained and as I looked at my friends, I quietly chuckled. “Today’s gonna be fun.”

[domini-porter]

A Little Story About Commenting (or, more broadly, communicating appreciation to your favs):

I wrote my masters thesis on a little-known book by a sort-of-obscure, multiply-nominated National Book Award and Man Booker Lifetime Achievement nominee named Evan S. Connell; he wrote a couple books you might have heard of (Mrs. Bridge and Son of the Morning Star). I wrote my thesis on a book you almost certainly haven’t heard of (Points for a Compass Rose, nominated for the NBA in 1974 but with zero existing scholarship when I did my degree back in 2010).

He was notoriously private; did very few interviews (and only by correspondence, responses sent, typewritten, on onionskin paper), was a lifelong reporter and reviewer (like so many literary authors), and wrote dozens of books spanning an honestly breathtaking range of subjects, from popular nonfiction about great seekers of history to incredibly delicate and intimate character studies to a chronicle of the Crusades written largely in period dialect to a metatextual genre-bending novel-length allegorical poem about the horrors of Vietnam (that’s the one I wrote about). He also wrote the most profoundly disturbing book I’ve ever read (The Diary of a Rapist; it’s exceptional and nauseating and prescient and like 140 pages and it took me two years to read).

Have I sold you on reading Connell? Good.

Anyway, while I was writing this thesis with no existing scholarship (there was a literary review published when the book came out, but that was it) I figured, hey. Might as well write to this guy. Tell him I like the book that nobody's heard of, that I'm writing my graduate thesis on it. Ask him a few questions, why not; it's an hour out of my day. Send it to the publisher of the book I’m writing about.

About three weeks later, I got a letter, forwarded from a literary press in San Francisco. Inside the envelope was another envelope. My name typed on the front. An address in New Mexico in the corner. A single sheet of onionskin paper, crowded with type, dotted with correction fluid, a few pencil marks. Evan Connell responded to my letter. Answered a few of my questions in the way all the best ones do (some variant on "I don't know, I just kinda did it").

This was so exciting, not only because he'd written back, but because I finally had a fifth entry for my bibliography.

I sent him the finished thesis a few months later, just for shits. Once again: why not?

A few weeks after that, I got another letter. Typed. To me, no forwarding. He thanked me for my work. Said he'd never seen anything like it, that my perception was acute (I have memorized these things; this letter is framed by my bed and is one of three things I'm saving in a fire). He forwarded it to his editor at the press.

When I went back to my summer session, I told a few people about this. The director of the program pulled me aside. Demanded to know how I'd gotten him to write back. He never wrote back. Never did interviews (except a very, very few, and by correspondence). I honestly had no idea, but that one interaction that I'd had with a reclusive author made the whole program buzz for a few days. Made people ask me about his work. Made people who'd never heard of him buy a couple of his books.

Connell died a few years later. An obit mentioned that his favorite of his own books was Points for a Compass Rose, and that he'd been disappointed that it was so rarely read.

That's how I got him to write back to me. I wrote to him about something he thought everyone had forgotten. Something he loved. Something people obviously had read (I found my first copy in the used section at my local bookstore), but nobody had ever thanked him for. And that meant so much to him that he read some nobody grad student's entire academic thesis, and responded to it, when he absolutely did not need to.

And even though this man had written books that appear on Best American Novel lists regularly, have been made into television shows and movies starring Paul Newman, the thing that was actually important and valuable to this towering literary figure (in my opinion, anyway) was some random reader taking a little time to say thanks.

I dunno. I think about this all the time. I think about how taking a chance--even though it was awkward and I felt like a dork doing it--created this whole expansion. Impacted more than just me. I can list at least a dozen people who cite a Connell book as one of their favorites now (I bet you'll find one, too). Three times as many who read one of his books when they probably wouldn't have otherwise.

The thing is, engaging with writers and creators of all kinds causes this sort of ripple of wonder and joy. Always. And it costs nothing, and it takes so little time, and it is always, always, always a good thing.

[soulspeaksfashion]

Robert Wun "Time" FW24 Couture

view collection here.

this review is being converted from a short form instagram story segment on my close friends. i’ll be adding more of my opinions tho ;)

the collections description: (this was taken from this vogue article) Robert Wun celebrated the 10-year anniversary of his label with a couture show called Time today. He said he wanted to reflect on “why I’ve been doing this for so long, why I still want to keep doing it, and for how long.” He used these questions as a starting point for a collection of one-of-a-kind extravagant showstoppers. “I asked myself why I do fashion, and what does time mean?“ Did he find an answer? “Yes, I did. The answer is to accept that one day everything ends—and that’s okay.”

my overall rating: 9.7/10

i watched this show months ago at this point and honestly the mere thought of it brings tears to my eyes. this show is gorgeous. the pieces are beautiful. like beautiful isn’t a strong enough word. i truly envy the people who were privileged enough to see this in person for the first time. you can watch the show here! i deffo recommend it. it’s actually sickening. the textures, the colors, the concepts, the weathering that comes with time. its all done sooo well. this is what i want in fashion. especially when it seems like everything has already been said and done, robert has a beautiful perspective.

(click keep reading for all images i included!)

♱ ───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────── ♱

loved!!

im not even exaggerating. fireeee (its ice -keyboard spam-). i love the texture of this orange-red dress, the way the gold parts catch the light. the leaf motif is sooo perfect. cherry blossoms!! i actually really like the construction of this particular dress. the sheer pink. its almost symbolic! (it deffo is).

category: cunt. i love the veil/shawl/cape situation on the white look. not the hugest fan of the draped skirt but, it works here and i like the black silhouette at the top. i love velvet. i have nothing more to say. this colorful number. god the back of this is actually giving me peacock vibes. i love the gradient of the shoes/tights. very pretty.

show stopper. this is probably one of my favorite looks to ever walk a show. its so gracefully. like the physical manifestation of a deity, of the universe. it's sooo graceful. beautiful.

not my favorites (being very nitpicky)

i do enjoy green screen queen. ms. shigo. mother earth if you will. this section is just a wee bit boring. still very elegantly made. i'm pretty sure i understand the concepts. i just think they could've been a bit more hard hitting, the skeletal look especially. compared to prior looks, i'm not as wowed.

again, not too wowed. very basic pieces. nothing screaming couture here.

♱ ───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────── ♱

moving into my thoughts while watching:

transcript of my story: “i absolutely hate to be that person [shakes head no] i’m gagged. first of all his mind. the creative director (rbert wun) whoever’s creating these designs, this is gorgeous. these dresses are gorgeous. gorgeous. why do i not see more of him on the red carpet? this is what we need.

even if i was exaggerating, who’s going to stop me!? like this is handmade {just based on my knowledge of how beading works, i could be wrong}. this beading, a machine couldn’t do that. i think that’s really what’s getting me, probably thousands of hours probably went into making this and its so beautiful, you can tell that someone really loves their craft. this is gorgeous. the pictures are not doing it justice. y’all need to go watch this for yourselves. beautiful."

venue: 2.6/5 the venue is pretty basic, though i did like that they used projectors/screens to emulate/display snow, fire, butterflies. that was a nice touch that really immersed me in the video. though i'm not too sure how it was in real life.

casting: 5/10 i think some models were better than others. but there was not a jarring difference in walks or anything.

♱ ───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───────────── ♱

SUSTAINABILITY:

my sustainability rating is currently based on transparency and accessibility of currently available information: 1/5

there is no information about what the maison is doing to practice sustainability.

[firstkanaphans]

Are you on the FK Shakespeare adaptation bus? I’ve seen people speculating that Jojo and FK will be going a BL version of Taming of the Shrew/10 Things I Hate About You. Which character would you want First and Khao to play? I personally would love if First was ‘Kat’ cuz it would be funny.

Honestly, I don’t know what P’Jojo is doing 😂 He originally talked about having 2 shows and mentioned both a Shakespeare adaptation and a mafia-esque romcom, but I have no idea if those descriptions referred to the same or different shows. And then last week he clarified that he would only have one show in Part 2, so I don’t know what happened to the other one.

I do feel like all the signs are pointing to FK working with Jojo again though and I certainly wouldn’t mind a Taming of the Shrew adaptation because it’s one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. (I also think Twelfth Night would be fun.) Personally, I think I would prefer to see First play Petruchio/Patrick simply because I want him to get to be the flirty one this time and that would also allow Khaotung to play a more tsundere character, which I don’t think we’ve ever seen from him before.

At this point, though, I’m not picky and as long as my boys get a good script (and preferably a queer director), they can play whichever part their hearts desire.

[thebroccolination]

Be My Favorite - Intro

WELCOME TO KEY’S SUMMER FIXATION SERIES. \:D/

Hello! I’m Key, and I’ll be your Be My Favorite historian and enthusiast.

I’ve been really excited for Be My Favorite ever since the series was first announced in December of 2021. The premise grabbed me right away since I’m a big fan of time loops (please watch Triage if you haven’t already, I’d say it’s the strongest BL series to date), and Krist’s one of my favorite actors, so it was an instant five stars of anticipation for me. Then in September of 2022, Gawin (another favorite of mine) was cast, and I had a dream casting I think I might have joked about once. (So I did this, you’re welcome.)

Whoever cast Gawin, I’ll send you a basket of whatever you love and aren’t allergic to.

THE CASTING HISTORY

Be My Favorite had a rocky road to casting.

From what I’ve been able to follow, it was initially meant to be a KristSingto comeback vehicle. (Their last BL together was the SOTUS Our Skyy episode in 2018.) However, in 2022, Krist tentatively told fans at a fan meeting that Singto’s schedule didn’t work out with filming. Seeing as GMMTV didn’t want Krist acting in BL series without his brand partner, I think they knew Singto wasn’t planning to renew his contract, so they cast Mike instead. Personally, I was excited to see Krist step outside his comfort zone with a different actor, and he’s close to Mike, so I figured it’d be a good match. I was also happy for Singto, because he’s wanted more independence in his career. He’s into photography and directing, he’s made his own studio, formed his own fan club in Japan, etc. (I think it’s likely he and Krist will work together again, though. They’re still very close, they play video games online with their friends from university fairly regularly, and Singto went out of his way to organize a KristSingto concert in December of 2022 through his Japanese fan club. KS used to hold their GMMTV-sponsored concerts there annually before the pandemic, so I think it was both a “final chapter” to one part of their lives and evidence that they can collaborate again if they want to.)

I didn’t have strong feelings about Mike’s casting. I haven’t seen him in much, but I liked him in the teaser, and he’s already close to Krist, so I was on board. After seeing Singto improve through his series with other actors (something he might have had to fight for, but that’s pure speculation), I was just excited for Krist to get the same opportunities.

And then…Gawin. [seventeen sparkle emojis]

As I said on Twitter the day Gawin’s casting was announced, “I could not be more pleased and delighted that I’ve built a reputation for myself that makes people think, ‘Krist and Gawin? QUICKLY, LIGHT THE FIRES AND TELL KEY,’” because I woke up to not one but three separate friends letting me know about it.

I went from excited to feral in the four seconds it took my brain to go from, “This can’t be real,” to, “Finally, bizarre breaking news that isn’t actively traumatizing.”

Truly, I have to hand it to Krist, because he's wanted this project to do well from the start, and he's stuck with it and worked hard on it through potentially three scene partners. And he really seems to have grown and learned from Gawin, so good on him.

THE WRITER/DIRECTOR

My one worry was that I haven’t enjoyed most of Jittirain’s adaptations.

But then I found out that the director, Waa, directed The Gifted and also has screenwriting experience. Krist has worked with Waa before and speaks highly of his process. There are a lot of scenes in the first episode of BMF that seem very clean and well edited, so I have hope.

On top of that, I’ve also seen fans mention that Be My Favorite is “inspired by” Jittirain’s novel, not adapted from it, which I think is a crucial distinction. (I don’t know the source for that, but I want it to be true, so I’ll believe it for now.)

Krist has said that they changed a lot from the novel, and based on what I know, the first episode has already departed quite a bit, so I have put my faith in Waa.

POSTPRODUCTION

For many reasons, some series just get the short stick with the amount of postproduction and budget they get. Some series are still filming as they start airing, some have budget cuts during production, etc.

Filming for Be My Favorite began on November 19th, 2022 and wrapped two months ago on March 24th. That same day, Waa shared on Twitter that he’d be starting work on intense editing right away. That was a great sign to me. With filming complete and two months of postproduction, he was almost certainly able to do a cleaner job than if he’d had to struggle under continued filming and simultaneous editing while the show was airing.

Also, BMF definitely seems to have money behind it. For example, this upgrade from the trailer to the first episode. In the trailer, as Kawi makes his first trip to the past, there's a bright, swirling glow around him.

When the episode aired, the effect looked a lot cleaner and had scenes from future episodes woven in.

Also, I loved this transition shot with the blurry background, and the dandelion seed floating across the screen was a cute detail, since that's the flower in the time loop globe.

Little things like like this tells me they’ve had the time to do this series well, and that there's a lot of love and effort going into it.

THE ACTING COACH

This February, the acting coach for BMF did an interview (1 & 2) that I really enjoyed. She said she’ll be sharing a video of their workshop now that the series is airing, so I’m keeping an eye out for that.

THE ACTORS

Like I said, I love both of them. I first watched SOTUS and the Kiss series in 2020, so I became a fan of both right around the same time.

In April of 2022, I made a top ten list of what I thought were the best acting performances up to that point. Krist was on it, and so was Gawin. I admire both of them a lot, and I think they’ve both improved tremendously over the years.

Krist, from what I can tell through interviews, leans toward method acting. For example, in the scene I included on my list above, Arthit was apparently meant to cry a few lines later on, but Krist lost it earlier than scripted because in order to channel the emotion he needed for the scene, he imagined how he’d feel when Singto followed through with a long-time dream of studying overseas. It ended up one of their strongest scenes together because it was genuine.

Meanwhile, Gawin was interviewed in November of 2022, and while I think the whole interview is a great read, I wanted to emphasize this part:

“When I prepare for a role, I really have to dig into the story of the script,” [Gawin] explains. “Sometimes they do the last scenes of the series on the first day of being on set. So, you have to be really prepared with the entire story. You’ve got to know the whole thing, what emotions that character went through, and the changes with that character.” 

I think part of what makes Krist and Gawin a good combination is that they’re strong actors with different energies who might just have different ways of preparing for a role. I’d love to hear both of them talk in more detail about their processes, but it seems to me like Krist looks inward for personal experiences to connect with the character, and Gawin creates the character he’s playing based on research.

Another interesting point is that In that same interview, Gawin says he thinks Saifa from Enchanté most resembles his personality (easygoing, music lover, etc.), but he got his start as Mork from the Kiss series (attitude issues, perfect sasspot, etc.). Meanwhile, Krist had an easy link to his first major role, Arthit, in that he’d also been head hazer in university. So Krist started his career able to access a common point with his character, so that might’ve influenced his approach to future roles. Whereas Gawin started off with a character completely unlike himself, so he started from a place of more emotional detachment and probably a more research-oriented approach.

Also, they just seem to have connected on a personal level.

Working with someone so different gives actors the opportunity to learn from each other. When interviewed, Gawin said he and Krist discovered they have a lot in common, and it seems like they bonded over music and spent a lot of time on set singing together. (Their harmonizing is genuinely beautiful.)

Krist’s OST for the series is one of my favorites and Gawin has a ballad coming up later in the series, but I hope they give them a duet at some point. (It’d be a huge missed opportunity if they don’t.)

CATS???

One of the sponsors for the series is fucking Wiskas.

This could just be because Krist is their brand ambassador. (The man has four cats. He has an army to feed.)

OR there is a feline presence in the show. If this is true, I will die, because Triage, series of my soul, also had cats in it.

Listen, I will send TWO baskets of whatever Waa likes if he's enabled me to make the "if I had a nickel for every time there have been cats in a Thai BL time loop series, I'd have two nickels. It's not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" joke.

CONCLUSION

Big fan! Love it all! (PLEASE CATS.)

I’ll leave this here as an introductory post, and I’ll make separate posts for my individual episode thoughts using #key watches bmf.

[elendsessor]

felt like talking about megaten demons again so here’s some official art of demons based on mostly american horror/sci-fi.

list of names n extra notes:

audrey (audrey ii from little shop of horrors), betelgeuse (beetlejuice from… y’know, beetlejuice), chris the car (christine the car from christine), nickelwise (pennywise from it), friday (jason voorhees from friday the 13th), franken (frankenstein’s monster from frankenstein), terminator (similar to the t-800 from terminator), scanner (likely a reference to the movie scanners), and hierophant (pinhead from hellraiser).

yeah hierophant is an alternative nickelwise which is why i’m putting it here despite the hellraiser franchise spawning from britain. idk how hierophant got that name since i don’t remember anything in at least the first hellraiser that could warrant the alternative name. (could’ve called it idk spikehead if they wanted to avoid copyright.) technically this might not be the first time a demon’s design was inspired by cenobites as lucifer’s infamous redesign for 4 closely resembles them. similar reasoning for franken, being an english work. like stated before, most of these are taken from american works, especially stephen king.

there’s more stephen king demons, though like many enemies exclusive to persona 1 and is/ep, only spritework exists, my personal favorite being carrie. kinda a shame there’s been no character or persona in persona inspired by her, since the og book and film adaptations are the trippiest “dangers of extreme religious worship”/child abuse is wrong/anti-bullying things i’ve ever seen. (there’s also a movie sequel that’s basically the first with less religious extremism and more goth icon/dangers of frat boy culture/really good rock backing tracks.) idk the concept of psychic girl who gets bullied a ton feels like it would be right at home as an atlus rerelease extra girl.

of course terminator sticks out too. when it comes to forgotten smt demon, terminator is an icon in that department. outside of the guns being the same and being (presumably) a robot (idk i haven’t gotten around to playing smt 2 yet but there’s a lot of more mechanical demons based on all the art i’ve seen), the name is the closest it really is to resembling the t-800s. idk to me it feels like it’s different enough that bringing it back in at least one future megaten game wouldn’t be that much of an issue compared to other horror icon references. they could just change the guns/ditch the guns altogether and change the name. really cool overall.

scanner is another weird one that i kinda wanna see again just because it sounds like it could be cool. dude only appears in smt 1, and while fan wikis aren’t super reliable sources, because it gave off that “this has to be some reference to a cheesy 80s movie” vibe, i dug into the origins more. yeah there’s a canadian fic called scanners and yeah scanner is 100% based on the whole idea of scanners in the film. never seen it nor heard of it, but hey the director, david cronenberg, also directed the fly so it’s probably a fun watch.

friday’s design is technically wrong though it’s also kinda not. despite jason most often using a machete (and preferring to kill horny teens), a lot of references have him using a chainsaw.

chris the car is technically not completely gone. of course the idea of ghost drivers and the like in media are nothing new (though the car itself is the killer in christine) so for all i know i’m overthinking it or it’s a coincidence, but oboroguruma—a demon exclusive to dsrk 1 and 2–seems to take some design inspiration, having a similar destroyed bumper/grill with an exposed motor.

lastly, while not pictured here or anything, something i found out one time is that lucifer’s favorite fake name, louis cyphre, is a reference to the novel falling angel/its film adaptation, angel heart, though none of the various disguises resemble how he looks in the film. idk i found that an interesting tidbit.

kaneko was apparently into western media (which is unsurprising) so that’s likely the reason there was so many of these movie references during the earlier days of megaten. what i’m sure is due to copyright, many of these older demons never appeared again. copyright law does vary in different places and i’m sure for the few jjba fans who are reading this, you know just how lax japan is in comparison likely due to being western stuff and most copyright holders don’t have that much of an international grip. unless you’re disney. with the whole localization effort atlus might’ve not wanted to have to change a bunch of shit which i don’t blame them for. though with the existence of nickelwise and hierophant coming from tokyo mirage sessions, a pretty recent game (released in 2015 and rereleased on the switch in 2020) that doesn’t seem to have run into copyright issue or had to take them out in the rerelease as far as i’m aware, it’s not entirely impossible to see anything similar again. it is kinda sad though.

[doctorofmagic]

Strange #9 Review

(Yes, I know the last issue is tomorrow and I’m super late. I blame my adhd. You know, the thing with deadlines? It’s a me)

Anyway, there are a few details I want to point out in this issue and some fundamental bits that I’d like to delve into. So let’s start with this panel.

I find it hilarious but I can understand why some people are not happy about Clea’s portrayal. It’s true she has never been this feral before but *IMO* I think it’s valid for her to have this side because 1) she was raised by Umar and Dormammu. Her father was a simp, her mother, a narcissistic queen, and her uncle is freaking Dormammu. Besides, let’s assume one cycle in the Dark Dimension equals 1000 years on Earth. We don’t know Clea’s age but we do know she was born during their reign so I assume she has a few centuries there at least; 2) she was the leader of a rebel army. My girl is not one sweet damsel in distress at all. She fought a war and saw many of her friends die; and 3) she has Faltinian blood. I’m glad she redirect their need to conquer towards love, though. So, in conclusion... I pretend I do not see it.

PS: Stephen’s pose like he were Batman sent me!!

Now let’s focus on this part because it’s always reassuring whenever a writer confirms what I’ve been talking about since forever ;-;

I usually tend to describe him as a healer, but doctor is also a good word once he knew that was his call since he was eleven.

And this is why I can’t accept whenever someone calls him self-centered (partially due to his MCU portrayal). Stephen is altruism incarnate. He’s very kind and doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself in order to save people’s lives (which is also shown later in the preview). This is not my personal instance, it’s literally all over this volume and so many other books.

And this panel pretty much sums up what I was trying to say about both Clea and Stephen.

We never managed to see Clea’s past and what it felt like to be raised in such a place. But we do know that she finally learned love through him, which is super unusual because love is most often associated with female characters, not the other way around. And this happened in the 60′s!

And noooow let’s appreciate Stephen’s sappiness because omv how I missed this. He’s been looking for someone to be this sappy with for ages ever since Clea left! It didn’t work with any of his flings because truth be told, he’s a hopeless romantic 🤧 Clea is lucky 💜 (and she blushes!!)

Now my favorite part because they’d be talking about Marc and Victor, it was such a bingo for me (for those who don’t know, they’re part of my top 5 characters tee-hee)

I love that they're trying to justify their faves here. Friendly reminder that Marc once stole Stephen’s powers in (ew) Age of Khonshu, so it’s kinda shocking for Stephen to hear that there’s kindness in Marc (but there is!!!). Meanwhile, Clea doesn’t really know Victor’s soft spot (yet) and they don’t usually see eye to eye, but Stephen is far more familiar with Victor and has seen kindness in him a few times (although yes, Victor isn’t one to give things freely. Listen, he’s complicated! *my Stephen side vouching for Victor is showing, I know...)

Moving on, I’m glad there’s an explanation for how Clea managed to become Earth’s Sorcerer Supreme without a new tournament. People be discussing this and tbh I was kinda tired. I just wait for things to be explained and look! Turns out it was.

Also I cry.

Aaaand he’s making jokes about being dead 💀

Moving on... Here I am once more, praising Jed for showing impeccable knowledge on Stephen’s lore. Director None reveals that he was in contact with the Trinity of Ashes and also working for them.

Back in Sorcerer Supreme, the magic deities were forcing Stephen to fight for them in the War of the Seven Spheres. He refused and lost part of hs power until he finally agreed to serve them. Except that the war lasted five thousand years. In order to preserve Stephen’s sanity, the Vishanti suppressed his memory of it (Sorcerer Supreme #48; #80).

Director None is using the revenants to spread chaos and pain in order to please the Trinity, but he’s also preparing a vessel for them. And this vessel is... well, THE Sentry.

Which is not only super dangerous but also painful for Stephen due to their history. Stephen once assisted Bob with a spell to make the world forget that he existed in order to eliminate the Void - Sentry’s “dark side" manifest (Sentry #4-5). Stephen also helped Bob with his mental health by locking him in his own mindscape (it was not ideal but it was the only way for Bob to feel safe without the Void’s influence). Stephen lied to Bob about the Void (it was somehow locked in the Sanctum?) and for that Bob ended their friendship (Doctor Strange #381-385).

It’s true that Bob died several times (last one was Knull’s doing, a very graphic and violent death, to put it mildly). But hm, it’s the Sentry. He always comes back. He’s like Marvel’s Superman, and that includes his strength. He beat Hulk in WWH. He’s that strong. So yeah, Clea and Stephen are really screwed =D

I’ve already read the preview pages for #10. I’m saving it all for tomorrow, though. I’m very much excited and it’s been a long journey. Can’t wait to see how Stephen will come back to life and how they’ll rekindle their marriage I’m not expecting spicy tomorrow but I won’t be denied in v6!! Did you hear me, Jed? I want my spicy!!

As usual, delicious food! See y’all tomorrow <3

(PS: I have access to the Infinity Comics now and I need to write a post on Victor Strange because Ewing is indeed cooking something for him. And I can finally have a full view on that by reading the Strange Tales compilation. Soon!)

[dustedmagazine]

Listed: Verity Den

Verity Den plays a soft-focus, trance-state shoegaze with glimmers of Zelienople, Bark Psychosis and Movietone. The band, out of North Carolina, is comprised of Casey Proctor, Trevor Reece and Mike Wallace, all three of the DIY veterans who formed the band in early 2023. Reviewing their 2024 self-title debut, Jennifer Kelly wrote, “Though their album is enjoyable as rock, it is very clearly not just that; it pools and looms and gently probes improvisatory effected guitar zones that sit pretty far from conventional song structures.”

Casey Proctor “Chant Arabe” (Anonymous) from Suzuki — Piano School: Volume 1

I started taking Suzuki Method piano lessons when I was five years old, and “Chant Arabe” was one of the pieces in Volume 1. During my first recital, my teacher exclaimed how I connected with that piece more than the others, saying that some people can emote ominous (minor-key) music more effectively. It was an early realization that I might be one of those people, and I still enjoy listening to and writing with those tonalities.

Mahavishnu Orchestra — “Meeting of the Spirits”

Every Sunday morning for a solid five-year period when I was a kid (like 7-11), my dad would blast “Meeting of the Spirits” while making breakfast. Undoubtedly, I was influenced by all the music he listened to, but that song in particular is probably the reason I went on to listen to other prog bands from the 1970s and later bands like Meshuggah and Animals as Leaders. We weren’t a religious family but during that era we were attendants at the church of prog rock.

Young Marble Giants — Colossal Youth

The first time I heard a Young Marble Giants song it was Hole covering “Credit in the Straight World.” I didn’t “discover” that it was a YMG song until later and then finally listened to the entirety of Colossal Youth. Front to back it’s a perfect album. It has minimal instrumentation, but it’s completely engaged and never boring. Alison Statton’s lyrics are nuanced and poetic but very punk. I don’t know how to make music that sounds like that, and I haven’t heard anyone else do it.

Mikhail Kalatozov — Letter Never Sent (1959)

Letter Never Sent is my favorite film. Beyond it being one of the most beautifully shot films I’ve ever seen (Sergey Urusevsky is the cinematographer and it’s in black and white), the subject matter feels like it’s personally tailored to me in a few ways. It’s about a group of government-funded geologists who are sent to Siberia to find diamonds. Their expedition is interrupted by a forest fire that cuts off communication with rescue crews and disorients them into a survival situation. Much less dramatically… I worked for the US Forest Service for 12 years, building and maintaining trails in the front and back country, almost majored in Geology and was a certified wildland firefighter for a few years. Also, honorable mention, from the same director… Salt for Svanetia (1930) is fantastic cinema and one of the earliest ethnographic films ever made.

Trevor Reece Roedelius — Wenn Der Südwind Weht

Right before the pandemic, I wasn't playing much “rock” guitar or listening to most of my long-time go-to-records. Leaning more towards experimental, drone and synth-based music. A friend put this Roedelius record on my radar around that time and it inspired me to record some questionable but exciting stuff at home. A classic record and always there to help.

Alex Chilton — Like Flies On Sherbert

Alex Chilton & his weird friends making a mess in the studio.

Bill Daniel — Who Is Bozo Texino? (2005)

I first saw this film during a screening tour through the south around 2006. I was somewhat new to town, wandering around and only cared about making art. Highlighting old outsiders making their mark and telling stories through a grainy film collage felt new but familiar. The ethos of this film is one that I still relate to today.

Mike Wallace Allen Toussaint — “Southern Nights”

A totally transporting song, Toussaint showers you in layers of piano and keys, the percussion chirps along like crickets at night and that perfect, unhurried hook. It really captures a certain kind of feeling, that particular humidity, the sun going down over the field. It's strange though because I didn’t hear this song until I was probably 25 or something, so I didn't have a memory of listening to it as a kid or something, but like a lot of songs, it became like a lens to look back on that, maybe memories I wish were there in some way. I guess it taps this strange kind of nostalgia whose origin is hard to locate and also comes with its own load of complications. That’s a part of the Southern experience, too, in a way that's unique to this part of the country. Memory and history are omnipresent, written and rewritten. I don't even hate the Glen Campbell version of this song. That’s its own type of “Southern Night.” Sometimes it's like that. I didn’t always embrace being from the South, but nowadays I’m into it and I know that when I’m living somewhere else someday, I will finally get to have that feeling of honestly missing a place and wishing I was back home for just a night.

Grouper — “Alien Observer”

This is the first Grouper song I heard and I remember feeling just stunned by it. It has this depth of interiority and a meditative cycle that’s like breathing. I think this song really struck me because I encountered Liz Harris/Grouper at a transitional period. After the end of a long relationship, I was living for a little bit with several people in a house in Greensboro, NC called Hellraiser Haus, named because some scenes from Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth were supposedly filmed at the church across the street. It was a show house and the people I lived with were great, but I was kind of struggling with what was next and who I was in the wake of everything kind of disintegrating. There was something so bleak and comforting in this song, I really did kind of feel like an alien, observing myself, kind of detached. A few years later I saw her play kind of a large theater in Raleigh for this festival Hopscotch, and waking up several minutes after she had finished, kind of disoriented and crunched up in the seat and thinking I just saw one of the best shows of my life.

Wong Kar-wai — In the Mood For Love (2000)

What more can be said about this movie that hasn't already? Wong Kar-wai is a master, and a really singular stylist. I never tire of watching this one, but I rarely put it on, it's just really worth savoring. It's also one where one’s feelings may change over time in relation to the basic plot points. Maybe you recognize yourself at different points or scenes than you did before, or see a new detail in a gesture or glance, like every moment’s a prism and would mean something different if it was just slightly turned. Being in a state of longing can really feel awful, but there can also be a kind of solace in there. Even once it's over, you can return to it sometimes, to remember. I mean just see it; this isn’t making any sense anymore!

[dedalvs]

Thanks so much for answering my question. And I’m also loving the Valyrian glyphs too. I’ve always loved the idea of being able to write in High Valyrian as well as speak it.

I'm glad you like them! Let me tell you, I am soooooooo grateful to have been able to do this writing system. You know, way back when I started working on Dothraki—during the competition—in stray moments I thought about what I'd do with High Valyrian, since if Game of Thrones was successful, I figured I'd get the chance to create High Valyrian. It was so exciting to me to learn that High Valyrian had a writing system, since the books make it explicit that Dothraki doesn't have one. Writing systems are my favorite thing, and I wanted a chance to show it off.

When I got the chance to create High Valyrian, I shared with the show runners that I could create a writing system for it, since it was textually supported, but they declined. In future seasons, Valyrian was actually shown on screen, but it was always written in the Romanization, which I found unrealistic (or, rather, inauthentic). Every season I asked about it, but every season they declined. It's totally random, show to show or film to film when I get to do it. Some producers/show runners/directors see the utility of it; some can be convinced of it; some can't. And even if they see the utility of it, some let me do it, some don't (for example, in The Shannara Chronicles, there's some kind of writing system you see on screen in places, but I didn't get the chance to create it; the art department did [and it's terrible]). It's not a huge surprise I didn't get to do it for Game of Thrones. Frankly, it's enough they even wanted authentically created languages!

No, the surprise came when Ryan Condal, show runner for House of the Dragon, actually asked me to create a writing system. I didn't even know if I'd get to work on the show, because I'm usually contacted well before production starts, and the show was already announced before I was ever contacted. And then he asked me specifically if I could create a writing system for High Valyrian—and then they used it, on screen, in key places! This was an absolute shocker. It's not something that usually happens, and I am so grateful to him for that.

In truth, my plan was to create something after Game of Thrones was done, show it to George R. R. Martin himself, and hope he'd kind of put his canonical blessing on it, and make the writing system "official" that way, since it wouldn't be used on TV. And then this happened! It absolutely came out of left field—especially because it wasn't a part of me joining the show. I was asked to do this a few months after I started working on the show! I was already translating dialogue before he ever asked me.

There's an important take away here, by the way. In something like a TV show, there are tons of people that work on it, and there are people who are in charge, and people who are in charge of those people, etc. It's a hierarchy like anything else. But this applies to businesses and organizations of every stripe. Wonderful things can happen, and there are people who do wonderful things, but sometimes that wonderful thing only happens because someone in the chain says yes. I got to create writing systems for the Defiance languages because Kevin Murphy gave it the okay after I pitched him the idea. All of these shows I've worked on had to be greenlit by someone. All along the line, there's someone who has the power to say whether some project, or some aspect of a project is going to happen, or if it's not, and often that decision gets overlooked.

Even apart from recognizing that person, though, I want you to realize that there may come a time when you are that person. When someone comes to you with an idea that's wild or totally out of left field and potentially brilliant, and you are the one with the power to say whether it lives or dies. And this might not be in an official capacity. This may be a friend who has some idea that they're very hesitant about, and they reluctantly bring it to you, saying something like, "It's stupid… I don't even know why I'm showing this to you". And if you look at them and say, "I don't really get it... I don't think it's a good idea", that idea may die right there, never to resurface. But if you give them encouragement—even if you don't fully get it—you may be the one to help them create something truly magical—something the world has never seen—something that may mean a whole lot to people you may never meet. If you're ever in that position, remember this. When someone comes to you with an idea, they're giving you a lot of power. Wield it wisely; wield it with kindness.

[myhauntedsalem]

Funeral Home Workers Describe The Creepiest Thing They’ve Witnessed On The Job

1. Corpse sits up all by itself

“My neighbor awhile back before I moved was a mortician. One night he had a body he was preparing for a very early morning wake or service (whatever was going on, it was unusual, and it required him to work into the wee hours of the morning on this particular corpse).

So as he’s working on it, he turned his back to grab some tools or supplies, and the angle he was standing at with regard to the corpse left the body visible just out of the corner of his eye.

As he was looking down at whatever tools he was getting, in the corner of his eye he saw the body slowly start to sit up.

His fight/flight instinct immediately kicked in, and he ran to the stairs as fast as he possibly could, but he was so clumsy trying to get up the stairs he tripped and was pretty much crawling and clawing his way to the top.

He was just near the top before his senses finally came back, and he knew it was rigor mortis. He collected himself and started to laugh at how absurd it all was.

He had been doing this for 15 to 20 years at that point, and he had never had a freak out like that before where instinct overtook knowledge and experience.

He actually sheepishly admitted he had to go clean himself because he had soiled his pants in the panic.”

2. Dead man holds on to medical technician

“I used to work in tissue recovery. My least favorite part was prepping a donor for recovery, as it included shaving the arms/legs. Once, we had a donor who was very freshly deceased. I held his hand to shave his arm, and his fingers curled around my hand as rigor mortis set in.

That was exceptionally creepy.”

3. They groan as they are moved

“If the deceased have a lungful of air, then moving them causes it to release. When the air travels through their throat, you get some minor vocalization, but it’s usually just a liquidy gurgle. It still gets me sometimes, though, if I’m working alone.”

4. Lights flicker every time a new body is brought in

“I’m a nurse, and the only place I’ve ever seen the lights flicker is just outside the morgue. They are fine almost all of the time but when we bring a body down the lights always flicker. Really creeps me out.”

5. A body shivers in the presence of a living one

“I was filling out paperwork over one of the bodies while working late when it shuddered. Never saw that before or after, no explanation.”

6. Funeral home lights go on and off by themselves

“I’ve only experienced something one time and that was around 10PM, after two years with no activity at the location. I had turned all the lights off in the chapel, and when I went to check the casket door, the lights turned back on. I was nowhere near the switch.”

7. Ceremonial doves are devoured by hawks

“I’m a funeral director/embalmer and I have seen… just so many bad funerals. One that really stood out was the time that a family released doves in a rural cemetery, after being told not to, and a hawk ripped one to pieces.”

8. A woman with a glass eye requested it be left open for her service

“I was a part-time funeral director’s assistant. We once had an elderly woman with a glass eye who requested it be kept wide open for the service. Gave me a hell of a fright when I saw her in her casket.”

9. Man has his dead dog waiting for him at funeral home

“My mother worked in a funeral home. One day, she was asked to go up in the attic to look for some old records, and came across a baby coffin. She went to move it with her foot, and could tell it wasn’t empty. Immediately went back downstairs and asked the director about it.

Apparently it’s a client’s embalmed dog that’s being stored until he dies, so that they can be buried together upon his death.”

10. Identical twin shows up to funeral in the same outfit as his deceased brother

“My mom works in the funeral business. Sometimes I would come to work with her and help her set up the chapel for a service.

One service in particular was of a little boy who drowned. His parents dressed his identical twin brother in the same outfit as him for the funeral.”

11. Funeral workers dress as clowns for a funeral

“We had a clown one time. This person was buried in full clown costume with makeup and all.

At the family’s request, the funeral directors were clowns too. They supplied costume and did our makeup. Family and friends had one teardrop painted on near the eye.”

12. Funeral tech is asked to clean eyes that aren’t there

“One of the creepiest for me was having to clean a gentleman up…I was supposed to clean his eyes, as well.

Opened those up only to see two empty sockets. No eyes. Apparently, it was a post-autopsy embalming.”

13. A man punches a corpse while paying his last respects

“I worked at a funeral home for a while when I was a teenager. After an open casket viewing a man came in saying he wanted to pay his respects privately. No big deal, that is fairly common.

We led him into the viewing room, opened up the casket and told him to take his time.

A couple of minutes later we’re sitting in the office and hear a really loud popping sound, followed by running and the door slamming.

We ran into the viewing room and the deceased’s mouth was hanging open and the skin was odd looking. The best we can figure is that he punched the guy and took off.”

14. Woman tries to steal her child’s body during the funeral

“I have a sad one from a funeral director’s perspective. Separated parents were mourning the loss of their toddler at the visitation before the funeral. The mom was grieving unlike any mother I’ve seen grieve over the loss of a child – almost fake.

She proceeded to pick up the deceased child, “hide” him in her coat, and walked out the door when no one was looking.

The other funeral director I work with found the mom running to her car where he stopped her and grabbed the kid. We found out two months later that the mother and her new boyfriend had physically abused the kid.”

15. Decomposition so bad, that cremation was only viable option

“A man was brought into us after lying dead in his garage for 3 weeks in the summertime. He was covered in bugs, his skin was black and green, and the skin sloshed right off the bone. I couldn’t do anything for that case, he was cremated.”

16. Woman’s hair and nails keep falling out

“We were prepping and washing the body of a 90 year old woman. One of her toenails fell off, and the hair on her head kept falling out. It took a good 3 hours to get her hair put back in one strand of hair at a time to make it look acceptable.”

17. A man brings his new girlfriend to his wife’s funeral

“Both my parents are funeral directors. At one service, the wife of an older gentleman had passed away. The widower showed up to the funeral with his new girlfriend who was much younger and was wearing a very revealing outfit.

Whenever the husband would begin to cry, the girlfriend would bring his head to her bosom to comfort him while stroking his hair.

Shortly after the ceremony ended, the husband asked one of the funeral directors about the flowers from the funeral.

He wanted to know if he could take them with him for the wedding he was having that weekend with his new fiancé.”

[project1939]

Day 51- Film: Sudden Fear 

Release date: August 7th, 1952. 

Studio: RKO 

Genre: Thriller/noir 

Director: David Miller 

Producer: Joseph Kaufman 

Actors: Joan Crawford, Jack Palance, Gloria Grahame 

Plot Summary: Myra Hudson is a wildly wealthy and successful playwright. As her latest play nears its opening, she fires the lead actor, believing he isn’t right for the part. Their paths cross again later, and still feeling guilty, she has drinks with him. Romantic sparks fly, despite the fact that he is much younger. They marry, and Myra thinks she’s finally got it all. But one day she hears something incredibly disturbing when the Dictaphone in her office unintentionally records her husband talking to another woman. Is her beloved husband going to murder her? 

My Rating (out of five stars): **** 

Oh my god, I loved this film. I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before. It’s already in my wheelhouse, being a noir with a female protagonist, but it also stars Joan Crawford. Mildred Pierce is one of my favorite movies, and I loved her in The Women. When you see a film with Joan Crawford in it, you know there will be drama in all its trashy Classical Hollywood best. 

The Good: 

Another female led noir! As I just wrote, I love the rare gems where we get a noir told from the perspective of a female protagonist. This one didn’t disappoint. 

Joan Crawford. I wrote in my notes as I was watching this film “Crawford acts the shit out of this, in all the best and worst ways!” She sometimes almost chewed the scenery, but it was always campy fun when she did. She could also just be genuinely moving. At times I felt more sincere empathy for her than I ever remember feeling in any of her movies. 

The turn about halfway through when Crawford takes control. I loved this! I was expecting the second half of the movie to be like the poster- Crawford huddled in terror. But then everything changed, and she took things into her own hands. She wasn’t going to sit back in fear, she was gonna damn well do something! I was rooting for her every step, before it was even clear what her plan actually was. 

Gloria Grahame. I liked her a lot in Macao, and I really liked her here too. She’s captivating to watch, because even though she is undeniably beautiful, there’s something kind of unique about her look and her voice. She’s perfect playing jaded bad girls. 

Jack Palance. He was believable and cast well. Myra had fired him because he wasn’t classically Prince Charming handsome. He is definitely attractive, but in an edgier rougher kind of way.  

I liked that I was always somewhat unsure of where things were going. It took awhile before the audience had enough information to understand what Myra’s plan was, and I also didn’t completely anticipate the ending. 

I liked the extended use of fun old technology, in this case, with the Dictaphone. It was analog in all its glory. 

The final shot of Crawford. The look of determination and relief on her face was perfect- I literally cheered out loud. 

The Bad: 

The beginning was a little slow. It took a good 45 minutes before things kicked into gear. I didn’t get bored, but I think it would have worked better structurally to trim the first half a little. 

Not much chemistry between Palance and Crawford. Maybe that was a little intentional, so we know something’s not quite right, but I’m not sure I liked it. 

I didn’t buy Myra/Crawford as a hugely successful playwright. She didn’t talk with any real wit, and none of her friends did either. I can’t fully explain why I felt this, but I wasn’t convinced. 

I spent the last hour screaming into my notepad- CALL THE POLICE! I don’t fully understand why she didn’t, except that it would have stopped the movie much earlier. 

[nitrateglow]

Thoughts on a bunch of movies I saw recently

I haven’t posted much about what I’ve been watching, so here are some reviews.

Valley of the Dolls

This movie was sold to me as a campy mess and to be honest, that description is not inaccurate... but is it weird that the film actually moved me at points? Am I insane? Maybe.

The plot follows three young women in show business: good girl Anne (Barbara Parkins), who goes from secretary to model; the tragic Jennifer (Sharon Tate), a kind-hearted but talentless chorus girl who views her body as her sole value; and of course Neely (Patti Duke), the ruthless singing superstar with a passion for “dolls”-- that is, barbiturates. The stuff of soap opera ensues: love triangles, husbands with rare, incurable diseases, backstage backstabbing, affairs, etc.

The style is strange: director Mark Robson shoots this sleazy story as though it were a 1950s prestige picture, which somehow makes the material seem even more tawdry than it already is. The dialogue has some real corkers-- my favorite is, “SPARKLE NEELY SPARKLE,” belted out by Patti Duke in her ever-controversial hamfest of a performance. Or the wig in the toilet scene which is... well, I don’t want to spoil that insanity for you.

But in-between the cheese and the sleaze, there are weirdly affecting moments. Two stood out for me: one is when Anne returns home after a long period, reuniting with her down-to-earth family, and the other involves Jennifer’s awful fate. It’s so weird that this disaster actually has emotional scenes that work... but that’s what makes Valley of the Dolls so interesting.

The Fabelmans

I regret not seeing this movie in the theaters, because WOW. It’s so fantastic-- the acting, the direction, everything.

If you’re unaware, this is basically a thinly veiled autobiography of Steven Spielberg’s childhood and teenage years, when he developed a passion for filmmaking and dealt with his parents’ strained relationship. It’s a slow movie, more character-driven than anything, but it was so well-handled. The characters were three-dimensional and the emotional situations felt authentic.

A lot of people describe The Fabelmans as being about the power of movies, and while that’s true, I was more moved by the film’s depiction of that point in your life when you realize your parents are not all-knowing demigods but human beings with dreams independent of their parental roles and failings that don’t make them evil but simply all too vulnerable and human.

Also the scene where David Lynch shows up as John Ford is freaking hilarious. And the advice he gives about composition is actually very good advice.

Magic

I first heard about this movie from a YouTube video and from the moment I realized it was going to be a creepy puppet movie with Anthony Hopkins, I was sold. Hopkins plays Corky, a struggling magician who makes it big when he incorporates a foul-mouthed dummy into his act. The act gets attention from a television network, but the requirement that Corky submit to a medical exam, he balks and runs off to his remote hometown. It turns out Corky suffers from mental illness, relying on his dummy Fats as a kind of alternate personality, and he’s afraid of being exposed.

Back home in the Catskill Mountains, Corky reunites with his high-school sweetheart (Ann Margret), an unhappily married woman looking for sympathy. The two start an affair, which upsets Fats. And when Corky’s agent (Burgess Meredith) tracks him down, well... things get homicidal.

This is a great slowburn horror story, less about gore and jump scares, and more about psychology. Hopkins is sympathetic and scary in the lead-- actually, I think he’s more frightening in this than he was in Silence of the Lambs, probably because he’s so much more unstable. You never know when he’s going to snap, especially since the fear of being found out by the other characters terrifies him so. As Fats, he’s hilarious yet amoral and coldblooded. I don’t like dummies on a good day and Fats only intensified that aversion.

Richard Attenborough directed the film and this is probably the first time I’ve been impressed with him in that role. I tend to find his style meh, but here, he has great command of pacing and suspense, as well as blending comedy with scares.

Also, I found out while reading about the film that there was originally talk of Gene Wilder playing Corky-- and that would have been so fascinating to see. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen, and while I think Hopkins is phenomenal, I would love to travel to that alternate universe where Wilder got the part.

Georgy Girl

I’ve been going through a lot of British New Wave films lately and Georgy Girl is from late in the cycle, reflecting more of the Swinging Sixties and less of the Angry Young Man trope that had dominated the earlier part of the movement. It has a cult following, but I’m afraid the film didn’t win me over at all, though it’s too interesting for me to dismiss it.

Technqiue-wise, the film is very New Wave, using a quirky, playful style to tell what is at heart a pretty downbeat story. It’s about a young music teacher named Georgy (Lynn Redgrave), an awkward, virginal, sensitive young woman self-conscious about her weight and crushing on her beautiful, promiscuous roommate’s “sexy” (I cannot put enough quotation marks around that word) boyfriend (Charlotte Rampling and Alan Bates play the ever irritating couple). When her roommate becomes pregnant, decides not to terminate the pregnancy, and marries the boyfriend, Georgina becomes excited, hoping to help her friend care for the baby. Instead, she starts an affair with the husband, essentially becomes the baby’s sole caregiver because no one else wants to bother, and finds out the unhappy, self-absorbed couple are going to put the kid she’s grown to love up for adoption.

Oh, and a rich older man (James Mason) who’s known Georgy since she was a kid wants her to be his mistress. That subplot is every bit as awkward and ew as it sounds.

All of these points come together at the end, and I admit the ending is so cynical and weird (and very reminiscent of the following year’s The Graduate) that I had to respect it, even though the journey was not enjoyable for me in the least. I just did not like or care about a single one of these characters, nor did I find their sour misadventures terribly funny. I’m not going to fault the actors-- it’s just the writing I did not care for and well, when that happens what can you do?

And now the damn title theme song is stuck in my head again...

[ccthewriter]

CC’s Top 10 New Watch Ranking - November 2022

It’s an exciting day for movie lists! The Sight & Sound Top 100 has dropped, everyone’s pouring over the details, and I thought I’d share my own equally famous and important list. Not my personal Sight and Sound - I’ve only seen 45% of this decade’s S&S, so am woefully underinformed to make such a judgement. But, whatever I’ve seen in the last 30 days? That I can do. 

Every month on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 10 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, country of origin, and genre, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! The accidental theme of this month has been Journeys Into Underground Worlds, whether that’s crime, cults, or supernatural realms! Click below to see the breakdown! Click here for the list on LB!

#10 - Lair of the White Worm 1988. Director: Ken Russell

A pulpy, erotically charged horror movie starring a baby-faced Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi. Amanda Donohoe is a centuries-old priestess of a snake god that needs human sacrifices, and frankly, I volunteer as tribute. This embodies all the things I like most about high camp horror - a thin plot, corn-syrup gore, a practical effects monster, and visually striking low-budget dreamscapes. The vision shown in this gif is an incredible high point of the film, just absurd 80′s video editing using all its tricks. Recommended for anyone who loves Evil Dead 2 or the scarier episodes of Doctor Who. 

#9 - Sullivan’s Travels 1941. Director: Preston Sturges

An out-of-touch movie director pretends to be homeless to make his next film more ‘real,’ while the studio sends a crew to follow him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble. He ditches them, and experiences the true injustice and harm that he had been fantasizing about all along. Like that director this movie feels out of touch for much of its run time, until the last act when the main character faces some *really real* injustice at the hands of the carceral system. That’s what elevates this from a mild comedy into something really special. A parody of a studio system that barely exists anymore - imagine executives shaking a writer down, begging to pay him - but still feels relevant in the way that some people can simply stop existing if they’re handed over to the uncaring police state. 

#8 - Out of the Fog 1941. Director: Anatole Litvak

A noir-tinged parable about how fascist bullies can take control of your lives if you don’t stop them. Two immigrant Brooklynites dream of buying a fishing boat and sailing to Cuba, but a racketeer shakes them down at the pier for ‘protection money,’ threatening the life of one of their daughters, who has fallen for his strongarmed charm. This war-time film was an argument by the director in favor of the US entering WWII, showing how the threat of fascism wasn’t just a European problem. Anyone, anywhere, is susceptible to a thick-fisted jerk who sells dreams of power to the weak, and an ever-escalating use of violence to take everything from people who just want to keep their heads down. Incredible for its ending, where - spoilers - the two men effectively murder the racketeer, and everyone they know agree to bury the crime because they know he’s better off dead. Talk about community action! 

#7 - Doctor Sleep 2019. Director: Mike Flanagan

I loved Midnight Mass so much, so was excited when my favorite movie podcast gave me an excuse to watch this film. I rewatched The Shining last month as part of a Kubrick filmography run, so my mind was primed for everything this movie had to offer. Though a sequel to The Shining feels unnecessary on paper, Flanagan managed to find wonderful new layers to explore in the original film’s premise, marrying Kubrick’s nightmarish reality with King’s original intention for the work. What is the responsibility of traumatized people? In a cruel world, do you keep perpetuating harm, do you run away and numb yourself, or do you - miraculously, heroically - find a way to end the cycles of violence wherever you can? Incredible performances all around. Rebecca Ferguson is also in this month’s micro-theme of Very Evil Women Are Allowed To Kill Me. I can’t wait to see what Kyliegh Curran does with the rest of her career. 

#6 - Brute Force 1947. Director: Jules Dassin

A movie that feels like The Shawshank Redemption until its brutal, tragic end. A demonstration of the banality of the prison system and how it is a breeding ground for pain and arbitrary violence. I thought a lot about Andor while watching this - both are examples of a collective forming a rebellion. Both have tragic ends for some of their central characters, but give a feeling of hope that success and victory are possible. That the revolution will win out. Andor is the inception of a revolution that we know will win - the Force will indeed awaken - but Brute Force leaves an air of melancholy as you recognize that the struggle these prisoners face is something we’re still dealing with today. The system has only gotten crueler since this movie was made. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be changed. 

#5 - Eyes Wide Shut 1999. Director: Stanley Kubrick

A movie I’ve often wondered and fantasized about because of its raunchy, taboo reputation. It really moves me how a film with so much sex and erotic content can ultimately leave the viewer feeling drained of any sensuality. From my LB review: “Queerness can't just be a mission to conform 'outsiders' to the mainstream. It must destroy the thing that controls us all! I'm so interested in the way the masked orgy-goers kiss - an imitation of intimacy without connection, without the actual nerve-tingling *sensation* of locking lips. Their secrecy, immovable and grand, must be maintained above all else. Pleasure must be obtained through this barrier that conceals the self. God, the straights have it bad. Even in their most elaborate fantasies they just can't let go. They've always got to look over their shoulder, in case someone realizes they're just as perverted and human as the rest.”

#4 - Michael Clayton 2007. Director: Tony Gilroy

Another film that’s been on my list for a long time! With Tony Gilroy proving himself a genius in the TV sphere, like Mike Flanagan, I wanted to turn to one of his films to see what he’s got there. This didn’t disappoint. Michael Clayton is a seedy corporate fixer sent to save a huge case from being ruined by the lead attorney, whose doubts are arising out of a psychotic breakdown. It’s just fucking *fun.* Someone in the group I was watching this with said that Gilroy nails the perfect balance between effective and flowery dialogue. His characters ramble, speaking outside any sort of naturalism, but it never feels stagey. They’re people stuck in grand, outlandish circumstances, and their speech rises up to match the stakes of their surroundings. This movie has one of the most satisfying endings in movie history. I adore the end credits that just track on Clooney’s face - it’s a great demonstration of what a good actor he is. You can see everything he’s thinking in the small motions of his eyes. 

#3 - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery 2022. Director: Rian Johnson

Benoit Blanc is back, baybeee! I love a good whodunnit, and Rian Johnson is proving himself to be the master of this genre in the modern age. Knives Out is one of my favorite movies, and I’m pleased to report that the latest entry in this series is just as satisfying as the first. I want Johnson to make as many of these as he wants, forever. My movie circle has made a lot of noise about the things this film has repeated from the original. I think 2 films is too early to say what the pattern for “A Knives Out Mystery” is going to be, but I hope the essence stays the same. An incredible cast, a colorful setting, and the relatively blank character of Benoit Blanc taking a backseat to let the ensemble shine. Oh, and the hyper-wealthy suffering under the weight of their own greed! That’s good, too. I’ve read about 35 Agatha Christie novels this year, and Johnson has found some of these essential ingredients that made her works so compelling, too. 

#2 - Sweet Smell of Success 1957. Director: Alexander Mackendrick

If there were an award for ‘Most One-Liners In A Motion Picture,’ this one would win, hands-down. I watched this while visiting my dad, who is a kind of passive movie fan and not often interested in films this old - but after just a few minutes of dialogue, he sat down and got sucked in. Sidney Falco is a press agent looking to score big by sucking up to J. J. Hunsecker, a manipulative narcissist who runs the biggest column in town. All Sidney has to do is break up the relationship JJ’s sister is striking up with a jazz guitarist. Through the glamor, glitz, and grime of late 50′s Broadway, this spirals into an immensely satisfying tale of ruthless ambition. The writing is phenomenal, the essence of New York is captured like nothing else, and JJ proves to be one of cinema’s most memorable villains. You can jump to any point in this movie and get one of the zingiest lines you’ve ever heard. A personal favorite: “If you’re funny, Walter, I’m a pretzel!” 

#1 - Labyrinth 1986. Director: Jim Henson

Somehow I had never seen this???? I can’t believe it either. The composite ingredients of this work - the fantasy, escapism, puppetry, fairy lore, danger, design - are all things I have loved from a very early age, and this *feels* like something I would have loved as a kid. Maybe that’s the power of this work - it speaks to a childish part of us that yearns to escape into fantasy, that wants to make cruel oaths to those we love, but knows the epic consequences of what would happen if we did. The journey we would have to go on to repair the hurt caused. I was lucky enough to go to the Henson exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image last month and saw some of these costumes in person. They are so richly designed. Every last inch of this frame is dripping with precision, from the fish-eyed lens to the mixed fabrics that makes each puppet come to life. Just like fantasy drawings often use inks, charcoals, and paints to create a textured image, these puppets are made from a variety of fabrics, metals, and other materials to make them seem organic and real. It’s an incredible feat. Jennifer Connelly embodies such a precise moment of youth, too. The very first steps out of childhood and into the passionate teenage years, where all the consequences of your actions seem massive and the weight of responsibility is dawning. This is a truly unique dreamworld. How lucky we are to have had a visionary like Henson create something like this.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank you for reading! If you liked any of these thoughts feel free to follow me on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep meticulous track of every movie I watch. Look forward to more posts like these next month! 

[denimbex1986]

'Oppenheimer was one of the most anticipated movies of the summer. This primarily began when it was announced that Barbie and Oppenheimer would be released on the same day, which is what sparked the trend of the summer: Barbenheimer.

I, of course, saw both movies. Barbie first, and then around two weeks later, I saw Oppenheimer. Admittedly, it took some convincing before I was allowed to accompany my family to the theater due to it being rated R. To be honest, while I absolutely adore the Barbie movie, I think Oppenheimer took me by surprise and became my favorite of the two.

The movie was genuinely extraordinary from both a film and storytelling perspective. I’m not a movie connoisseur or particular expert in deciding what makes a great movie, but Christopher Nolan, the director, really made the story feel personal in a way other directors can’t. For every troubling moment and dramatic climax, you feel as if you are there with the characters, experiencing everything they are. I don’t understand a thing about quantum physics, but this movie made me feel like I was right along with them as a scientist struggling to make the puzzle pieces fit.

To even begin to explain the astounding directing, though, we have to begin with what is at the heart of the movie: the story.

Oppenheimer tells three stories in one, each separated by a distinctive filming style; the first of which begins with J. Robert Oppenheimer, portrayed by Cillian Murphy, sitting in a conference room in the midst of a hearing for his supposed ties to communists. It is primarily used as a plot device to explain the events going on in the main storyline and to clear up confusion. This part of the story is distinguished by the wide-screen perspective, where there are the typical black bars on both the top and bottom of the screen. The wide-screen point of view is meant to represent the subjective view we, as the viewers, are seeing it from, and this again contributes to the audience being almost a part of the movie.

The next is the crux of the film: the making of the first-ever atomic bomb. This storyline is identified by the full-screen perspective and is filled with so many close-ups that I feel like I’ve seen every single imperfection on Murphy’s face. This core plot comes from this, where we see flashbacks to what led up to the atomic bomb and the process that would elicit the creation of it. This story is raw as we see the struggles and mistakes Oppenheimer makes on his track to making history. We see how he brings quantum physics to America, how he meets his wife, and how he deals with the pure, unadulterated guilt of realizing he, in part, caused the death of entire cities of people. This helps us understand his motivations and struggles, therefore making him a multi-dimensional character that the audience can care about.

The third and final story perspective is the story of government official Lewis Strauss, played by Robert Downey Jr., in his attempt to become a member of the U.S. Senate. This story is characterized by the black-and-white perspective, which is told by Strauss. It tells a tale of jealousy and disdain that, over the years, bubbled to the surface, and the story is eloquently done in a way that you don’t quite see how it all adds up until the end. It plays a significant role in leading the audience to see an outside perspective of Oppenheimer’s work and how the odds were stacked against him in several ways.

Each story plays a unique role in the film and is executed in an indicative manner that allows the audience to piece together the puzzle of the story and makes the ending all the more enjoyable when the viewers can feel as if, in a way, they figured it out themselves.

However, the film can essentially be split into two sections: the before and after of the first explosion of the atomic bomb. After the first explosion, the movie shifted, and the rest felt as if it were almost an entirely different film, similar to what Nolan did in one of his other films—The Dark Knight. It shows not only the action but the consequences of the massive discovery that would forever change war. The second half shows the story of a once-beloved man admired for his scientific achievement now being shamed for the very same one and the immense guilt he grapples with having to know what he’s created.

The film is multi-faceted on an astounding number of levels. Every character has a motivation and both an internal and external conflict that makes the story all too real while showcasing both an entertaining movie and accurate history.

Another unexpected but astonishing part of the movie that I haven’t seen anyone talking about is the soundtrack. I find myself listening to it over and over again, and I’m listening to it right now as I’m writing this because the music is so quintessentially accurate to each specific moment in the film, and listening to it transports you into the movie. It’s done in a way that whether the music is blaring loud or merely a whisper, you notice it. It is impossible to ignore in the most immaculate way as it perfectly ties together the entire movie. I wholeheartedly believe that without this specific soundtrack, the movie would have been nowhere near as captivating as it was. Ludwig Göransson composed all of the music for the movie, and he flawlessly tied in notes of music from the movie’s time period with a twist that makes it a bit more modern and authentic to the telling of the story.

Oppenheimer is about a dark period of time; it tells the unfortunate story that led up to the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. By default, we are supposed to think of the scientists and military officials involved in the project as inhumane or evil in a way for working on the bomb that caused hundreds of thousands of deaths. Still, this movie finds a way to humanize each and every one of them by seeing some of the more specific motivations for each person, even if only on a surface level. Although it was a horrible thing to have happened, looking back on history allows us not to repeat our past mistakes. Oppenheimer perfectly walks the line of telling history in a fascinating way while also not romanticizing a tragedy.

If you are considering seeing Oppenheimer in theaters, do it. The film tells an accurate and monumental moment in both American and world history while telling it in a way that intrigues and pulls you into the story. Every moment felt as colossal as the explosion because of the elegant storytelling and directing, and we can only hope this will lead to more films like Oppenheimer coming into theaters.'