#and theyre probably booked solid anyway till after that

[audiovisualrecall]

I'm going to note that she didn't put the post-procedure xray up on the screen at a time when I could take a comparison photo, but this is the xray before the endodontist went back in to try re-doing the root canal to see if the tooth can be saved. Also note that she claimed she couldn't see the crack, but acknowledged there's something up with the tooth. And she didn't offer likelihood of successful re-treatment, just had someone else tell me the prices for either successful or unsuccessful retreatment. Now, looking at the xray comparing it to an illustration of what a post-root canal tooth situation should look like (on the right), it's obvious to ME that there's a few issues and that trying to redo it wouldn't necessarily help. First of all, the post she used originally...looks weird, my dentist actually acted like it was really large. Second, there is no visible filling for a certain amount of space under the post, and then what now clearly looks to me like a crack in the root filling is very much visible on the right aide of the tooth! So I'm not sure I should have trusted her at ALL if she claims she doesn't see a crack, when that clearly is supposed to be one solid line of filling within the space of the root. And it's not! And it's possible that the left side is a calcification near the bottom based on another diagram/illustration. It seems clear to me that she didn't want to admit to my face before starting that it wasn't likely to help, that the issues were here and there, and xyz are why it would or would not help and if there's not enough structure here abd there it can't be saved and could cause pain after, etc, whatever the case was, she did not fully inform me, I suspect she knew it wouldn't work but decided to go forward anyway because either way if I went forward she gets $$$, and if she admitted that it wasn't likely, which she Should be able to tell from her extremely high-quality Xray, since my dentist could tell from his regular quality xray, then I would have left with only the consulting fee. Which no one informed me of, btw, prior to being seen, but I'm Sure they had one, even if she barely consulted, so if I'd decided nevermind I'm not gonna do the retreatment, they would've surprised me with that. Probably way too much $, too. As it is, the failed retreatment cost $1200, and ongoing pain in my mouth from her brusque stabbing with the needle for the numbing stuff, and whatever she did to the tooth during, possibly also from the messily-done temporary filling, and tmj pain from my mouth being held open too far for too long. And I'm concerned she made it worse or opened it up to more infection. Basically, I shouldn't have gone to this endodontist, her bedside manner was lacking, she didn't fully inform me Probably bc she wouldn't make as much $ if she had, and I'm in enough pain that the tylenol isn't even working well after 4 hrs. And even if I'd still be in this pain after the extraction, or at least the tmj part, right now I'm afraid it's going to be an ISSUE for the extraction if the muscle is too swollen or the discs are slipped out of position and that's the cause of the pain, I'm afraid I won't be able to have my mouth open enough for the tooth removal next week, and if the pain lasts till then I will cry anyway, and it'll be exponentially worse after the removal I'm sure! I really hope I didn't screw over things with the removal, too.( I'm terrified of that too btw.) And I didn't ask her the likelihood of success but she should have said. Now it's 3am and I've been awake since 2 bc of pain, I've been in pain since 12am but tried to tough it out till 5 when I have to wake up to be at work at 6, but it woke me at 2 bc if was a level 10+ pain. Now I have 1 tylenol in me so I can take a 2nd one at 6/6:30 at work (If I take 2 at once I can only take tylenol 2 more times today which doesn't work. If I stagger them, I can have the effect last longer.)

[haeroniel-doliet]

soo who thinks i should post my art portfolio onto instagram? that being my ib hl art portfolio i did for grading a year ago?

 its special to me bc tho most pages were done over 2-3 weeks bc im the worst kinda procrastinator, i did dedicate a lot of thought to most of those pages and love em. i do enjoy showing off the book to guests but, maybe i should make a thing of it on instagram? bc im posting a lot more on instagram to comemmorate shit ive done and keep a record of it that people i know and trust can wonder through to get a glimpse into my life (esp more recent life) through pretty pictures? i did once upon a time post a pic of a branch on an empty page saying like, first of many portfolio pics to come! and i never posted more than a few other glimpses to my work, i think a lot of people would appreciate seeing them even if they cant read them thru (saddest bc i actually have no access to the powerpoint of the book edited to be graded, nor do i have the rationale or any descriptions of my main art pieces submitted for grading a) bc they deleted my school email without warning and b) my old art teacher hasnt gotten back to me and i havent gotten the chance to visit school, (i probably will after exams and im back in london)) unless i get those pictures i wont be able to post my proper art up, and if i did get them id probably make them into a facebook post bc that exhibition is still my profile picture and probably will be for time to come bc it shows me delighted and proud after putting up one of my biggest achievements in art. that in mind i could be ironic, wait a while now (esp bc i just have posted like almost everyday london pics etc) and wait till im back in london for the summer, and have a thursday (great bc ib exams are in may anyway, so proper just over a year memorial!) to post them, gives a bit of a gap in florals i suppose, and a break to all my 25 active followers from me posting all the time and then going silent for long. maybe itd be good to have a: london london london: couple pics of aberdeen to sum up the year/travelling scotland on the way back down: then wait a bit and then post them (as im back to my 3 in a row, thatd be at most another 6, maybe 3 just bc i love putting pictures up as memories, especially after i lost so many bc of my phone and since i dont like facebook, think i post up to 30 in a row bc it allows up to 10 hah maybe its oto much, but its one of those things thats not annoying? you can easily ignore it, its not my face, its not me bragging per say, its just me going look people who know me and care even a little bit, heres some pictures i think are pretty and a little context to whats up in my life! anyway. thats a good plan not to do it rn, bc i have all summer to post them the book is going nowhere its too precious, and even better i could potentially post scans not just the pictures, but nobody really reads what i wrote anyway soeh. and then i’ll have it on my instagram to show to people whereever i am without whacking out a great big book (still appreciated by real guests at the house, wow that sounds pretentious) and its 24 pages, some shitter than others, but that means i can divide them up to 8 each post, potentially in order as they appear in the book, but gotta be careful i dont end up with a shitty page on the first one, maybe ill put my 3 showstopper pages up ( being branch, kiefer, smth.) but i also dont want them to just be glanced over if theyre my best idk ill take some arranging, maybe pick 3 thatll compliment each other in a row and then gather things into them as they go,

 i.e. project pages! i.e. technique pages! i.e. inspiration/artist pages!

 that could group them quite nicely, and then ofc i have long captions, but i dont wanna blab too much about like, oh yeah technique was kinda never my choice, and the inspo artist pages are my faves. and then ofc illpost my front and back covers (thatd make an interesting series as them being the first and last first pic, as if they frame the middle, but considering instagram likes to stick to a shape per post, i might just include them as a spread at the end of one of them. write a few lines along lines of 

1st TBT to my complete portfolio page in ib hl art that i once upon a time hinted at here, but never got to posting more about. but infact i love all the work ive done and its one of the things im terribly proud of, and even if i dont currently have any solid pictures of my exhibition, within here are some progress etc pics of those works that i exhibited. 1/3 

ill work on the rest of this later probably 

[audreyineu]

budapest 4/6-4/7

getting to budapest i knew my time was limited, i only got a day and a half there, so i tried my best to hit the ground running. arriving at the hostel i found that check-in did not begin for 2 more hours though, so that kind of stopped me, but i just used the time to get some food. using that lovely little app called google maps i found a small pizza shop called pizza manufaktura and had a hawaiian pizza (pineapple on pizza is GOOD just accept it already). i also had some cherry juice, which was really good actually. i’ve never really seen fully cherry flavored drinks outside of icees, so that's definitely something that america needs to work on. i also discovered that the hungarian word for cherry is meggy. nice. 

i still had an hour to kill after that though so i tried to go find an atm and accidentally walked into the nagyvásárcsarnok, or, for english speakers, the great market hall. it’s an actual full-blown market where people bought their groceries

like people actually came here and picked out their meats, got some vegetables, maybe some spices. it was so cool to see. yeah sure i’ve been farmers markets back home but this was fully someone’s grocery store and it was just interesting to see the difference

the upstairs part was for the tourists and had a bunch of handmaid souvenirs, sometimes the person was sitting out in front of the stall sewing the cloths like the ones in the picture (its blurry, sorry)

there was also a basement-like area and i’m pretty sure the budapest black market operates in it. i’m on a pacific rim kick right now because of the sequel (which wasn’t that good but that’s a different blog post) and if you’ve seen the first one, i really felt like ron pearlman was about to walk out of a secret doorway and offer me some kaiju bone. it was honestly kinda scary, no one was really down there and most of what was being sold was meat and HUGE fish that they kept in a really really small tank, which i’m not really sure would be considered humane? but i guess they were there to get killed so. i’ll let peta deal with that one. 

i wanted to get a picture but the guys behind the stands were very big and also staring me down every time i passed. i decided they wouldn’t like the tourist girl taking pictures of their very compact fish.

anyway, i went back upstairs and bought some cookies, isler and puszedli. isler was a cookie covered with chocolate with jam in the middle and puszedli was a kind of gingerbread muffin type thing covered in a chocolate or vanilla frosting (chocolate was the best one for me). they were both really good but i gotta give a special shout-out to the isler. 

after that it was time to check in so i got changed out of my travel clothes and tried to figure out what to do. i decided to take one of those hop-on hop-off tours, which i typically try to avoid like the plague because i’m not a fan of blatantly shouting out to a place that “hey i’m a tourist!!” but, i had a limited time and those are good to see a city quickly

i rode around for a while. now consider these photos were all #shotonaniphone7 and taken on a moving vehicle so they're not great but.. its what i saw . budapest is pretty darn cool

i got intrigued by a set of stairs looked a bit italian, so i got off on the next stop, and that was definitely the right choice. i found myself at what i think was the bud castle (turns out budapest has two parts, buda and pest separated - i think - by the danube).

to get up you could either walk up a hill or pay to take a little tram car. i obviously chose the tram car, i can walk up a hill any day

all of the museums and the castle were closed by this point (it was around 6), so i couldn’t go in, but the views from up top were stunning

so i roamed around a bit

and started heading in the direction of the stairs that made me get off the bus in the first place. i wasn’t disappointed. it was a really cool little area, and felt really romantic. being there just kinda made you happy

and because i knew how to get back home from the liberty bridge, which was about two bridges down from where i was, i decided to walk back along the river (i took an evening stroll next to the danube!! how cool!) to the bridge to get back to my hostel. 

in my room i met a really nice girl from finland, she’ll come back into the story later, and got ready for bed for what i wanted to be an early morning so i could see as much as possible

of course this didn’t happen, i had a snorer in my room which kept me up so i slept through my alarm and didn’t end up leaving until 11. but it put me starting my day at lunchtime, and i’m not gonna complain about that! i found a small little restaurant called drum cafe who were known for their lángos and goulash. their menu was a trading card display book, which i loved, and i ordered from traditional beef goulash with rice

it was amazing. so so so good. i maybe ate it embarrassingly fast considering how much food there was but it was amazing, i didn’t want to stop eating it

after that i stopped in a small thrift shop i saw on the way there in hopes of buying the shirt that was on a mannequin in the window, but sadly the shirt was “only decoration.” i did get two shirts there anyway

after i decided to walk over to the house of terror, a museum about the facist and communist regimes that held power in hungary and honoring those who died at the hands of those in power.

on the walk there i found a little antique market going on in an alley 

i almost bought an old hungarian swimming medal because why not, but i decided against it. there were all kinds of cool little knick knacks, but i restrained myself and began to actually walk to the museum

pictures were not allowed in the museum (i snuck one of the entrance) so i don't have any (except for the one i snuck) but the museum was increibily interesting. its one thing learning in history class about stuff that went on in eastern europe in the 40s-80s but its another to actually BE in a building where people were kept and tortured, a building where the arrow cross party (a nazi party based in hungary) and the state protection authority (the soviet secret police force in hungary) actually operated. it was. very very solemn. reading about life in that time and seeing the faces of all those who were killed. you ended the museum tour in the basement where the cells were and it was terrifying in there. maybe didn’t help that i was completely alone in the cells at that point, but it was so silent and dark and i think absolutely perfect to demonstrate how horrifying the experience would have been to be one of those prisoners. the doors to the cells weren’t even barred, they were fully solid. you wouldn’t even be able to see outside if you were shut in. every cell was solitary confinement.

so i left the house of terror and decided it was time for something a bit lighter and headed to the széchenyi thermal bath

yep, its THAT yellow building that you see in everyone’s pictures when they go to budapest. it was really nice and relaxing, though i gotta say would probably be better with a group rather than alone. i did meet some people there, but not the same as being there with friends goofing off, so i’ll have to make a return trip

afterwards i decided i’d get on the hop-on hop-off bus again since the man the first time never actually took my ticket and got some REAL hungarian lángos on my way there (if you remember i had some at the easter market in prague) and OH MY GOD was it good. the dough being freshly deep fried makes ALL the difference oh my god. literally just handed it to me out of the frier. i got it with cheese again and honestly i wish i’d just gotten it plain because the cheese took away from the dough. so, so good. it is a lot though, so if you ever get one i recommend that you get it to share

i got back on the bus and road around a bit, i really just wanted to get a better view of the parliament building

i got it for a little bit! not long enough to get a picture because i sat on the wrong side of the bus, but damn that's a beautiful building

i rode until the stop closest to my hostel & got off so i could pack up my stuff. i had a 6 am flight (i just got back to bristol as i’m writing this) and i wanted to be sure i had everything for my 3 am departure time to the airport. while packing my roommate from finland came in & we started talking and she invited me out with her and another guy in the hostel to go to one of the ruin bars called szimpla kert.  i thought you know what, we’d be out till around 2:00, why not just stay awake till i need to leave for airport and have a little fun doing it. so i booked a minibus to take me from the hostel at 3 am with another girl at the hostel and we set off to this ruin bar and 

WOW

they were playing a movie on a huge screen outside??? there was a room with a piano so people could just play music and sing?? there were so many different roms with different vibes and it was absolutely amazing . i wish i could have stayed longer! it was what every little hipster bar in williamsburg (brooklyn) is trying to be and god now that i’ve been to this bar i don’t think i’m gonna be able to go to another bar ever again 

after a night filled with singing (i WAS hanging out with two singers) we headed back at two so i could grab my bag and meet the other girl to leave for the airport and i made it with no problems. 

was i incredibly tired by the time i got on the plane? absolutely! but i had a fantastic time with some really cool people. and with that i’m back in bristol and ready to have some dinner. so i guess closing remarks? plan but at the same time don’t. let there be some spontaneity because spontaneity caused some of the best parts of my trip. also, WALK EVERY WHERE (if you can)

thanks for reading!

audrey