#and theyre already like 'ugh its him its that loser'

[aegoneggon]

the scene with jace, luke, aemond, baela and rhaena in driftmark where its like

"its him!"

"it's me"

goes so hard in terms of aemond character moments. like he just claimed /the/ dragon and he is not going to let these twerps kill his vibes

and then he gets his face slashed a few minutes later and the vibes are certainly killed. poor kid 😕

[sunsetstarving]

ok hi i like think i talked abt your ocs with you when you first shared the slides with me but i was going through my drive and i saw it again and i was like ok wait let me look! and i now have Thoughts

- FIRST OFF nefise is like so eldest daughter immigrant trauma. if this makes sense. i also understand why she turns evil for a bit

- dani's like my fave ever btw im like so not normal abt him. just the implications of the whole being someone whos always positive and optimistic (slightly delusional) and then starting to lose all that when the world starts ending. starting to lose yourself bc youre the literal fucking symbol of hope but you cant bring yourslef to be the least bit hopeful. god. rattling him around in my brain

- pls give kore a kazoo. im begging. also a turtle fits the green theme. shes like the coolest btw and i get the whole. like wanting to be someones first chocie but you feel like theyre always going to choose someone that they can love and love them romantically and hating yourself a little bit for not being able to like ouchhh man why you gotta zir like that. ough

- TESNIS LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER im so obsessed w her. i love that you made her a jock but also a debate kid i think thats the funniest combo. also like the whole trying to remain unchanging/constant like the "if it aint broke dont fix it" mentality but then it DOES break and DANI breaks so then she HAS to change to fix it and. arhghghgh

- felicite!!!!! dude. ok the implications of her being the symbol of chance and the fact that the symbol of chance even exists at all is so crazy to me because like yeah. sometimes it truly is Like That. sometimes things are so out of your control and you can do nothing to stop it its just pure fucking luck and fate and the univesre shifting and ohhhhh god. i am so !!!! amped abt her and skull/fibula btw

- YOOO nefise and dani. idk if youve watched jjk but they are So satosugu coded i will elaborate if youd like but this is rlly long already i might have to take this to disc

- tesni and delshad WILL drive me insane. the absolute vulnerability and horrors of being so deeply known........ ugh

- said this already but. felicite and skull chance and death like broooo the fact that something so horrible something that takes so much from ppl is so closely tied to the concept of randomness and the unknwon. driving me insane

ANYWAYSSS thats like all of it um. yes i have thoughts! anyways

HIIII okay i finally got on desktop it took me a little bit we have been going everywhere. traveling is enjoyable sometimes but also...not always lmao BUT ANYWAY ILY AUGH i've been thinking abt this since last night. HELP all lighthearted but i do not think u ever said anything!! only the discord interaction i have been waiting ever since and boy oh boy.... the personal connection to every single one of them and the way u pointed them out immediately.

YEAH nefise is kind of just Like That. it came with the territory (being the asian character i project on forever) and also like..... the turning evil bit is everything to me bc the way she regrets none of it when she thinks about it from a distance but all it took was the sliver of hesitation, the flicker of exhaustion from constantly throwing herself at every problem, to simply take her down completely and have the team lose her. Yeah

dani my beloved... he was the original knight concept too. upon seeing this i HAD to draw him being a miserable fucker (<- phone battery ran out i will send these once i can grab some pictures!!) *jeopardy voice* what is burning out from the expectation to lead your world to the future despite having none of what you're supposed to be giving

YEAHHHH YOU GET IT. the. knowing that you're not broken and that this is just you but then the people you love make it feel like you shouldn't be the way that you are, that you need to change? forever experience. and while it continues to hurt and i don't think we can escape it i think good friends are a good remedy for the pain... and also ur so right they need a turtle so bad

and AHAHAHA tesni wahoo loser overachiever asian parents' favorite child (good at everything) and also biggest problem (anger issues) of all time. also love the family drama aspect like Yeah ofc she's going to have to change and yield and give ground. she has a sibling to take care of damn it

FELICITE AND FIBULA AOUGH.... this is so funny bc i literally had no clue what she was going to be but then chance sounded good. and then i was like Oh. the Implications of this are horrific. additionally yeah i think abt it all the time.... i've been following this comic series on instagram abt the grim reaper being a kind guy bc he's the messenger, not the one who controls any of it, and like... ouch, you know? the fact that it is unfair and horrible and there is no good timing about it. that sometimes it lines up just in time for a hilarious pun. death and chance being intertwined in the most cosmically random ways but in ways that absolutely make sense.

I STILL HAVEN'T the urge to ask vs the urge to wait until i've gotten to it vs the knowledge i will Not be doing that any time soon and. i should probably ask. pls tell me more in disc i would love to hear

tesni and delshad will kill me btw. that's like. going to suck. i'm gonna be so emotions about it bc it is not something i have yet delved into but i think abt it all the time. even more family drama. all of them scrambling to adjust to some of the most awful news one can never take back. grahh or whatever

anyway. i love this i love u i am SOOO happy you sent this!!!!! i am always so ecstatic to talk about the kids they are so beloved to me fr <333

[hearteyedbunny]

3 for all your ships!! Aand 6,9 13 and 14 for anyone you want :)

oh god hi hello. putting this under a read more bc it got long

What would their song to each other be?

i dont have an answer for ALL my ships but, heres just a few. and these are more like...songs that describe their dynamic or make me think of them if that makes sense!

danse/art - put your head on my shoulder by paul anka. this song isnt necessarily fitting to their dynamic, but...i always come back to this song bc it makes me think of the soft, more calm and sweet moments between these two. i can picture them listening to it and slow dancing clumsily together, whether theyre a lil drunk or completely sober i dont know, but it always puts that image in my head and makes me happy.

shane/elfie - froot by marina. listen. this song is just straight up longing/horny from elfie's pov and i love it. this song is just fun and i like thinking about how BADLY she wants this dumb lil guy. thats her man and shes gonna TAKE him. also this song slaps.

shane/me - loser by charlie puth. UGH THIS SONG. THIS SONG. i feel so self indulgent when i listen to this song. thinking about shane longing for me and wanting me when im with my other f/os. his jealousy and anger and self loathing is just in hyper drive when he sees me with danse or arthur or whoever. i love torturing my husband <3

What small quirks do they love about each other?

i'll do this for shane/elfie. hmm...shane likes how emotive elfie is sometimes. she plays with her hair when shes nervous, she talks with her hands, she wiggles/wags her tail when shes excited or curious.

i...am blanking on any little quirks shane has im so sorry.

How did they know they were right for each other?

can i answer this for danse/me!!!! because like. god. i remember before i played fo4 i would watch my bf play it and he had danse as his companion a lot and. i just started watching him play more and more bc i started to feel IMMEDIATELY safe and protected by danse. my crush on him was instant. i started thinking about danse more and more. i barely even knew him yet but i felt so infatuated and longed for him. it just felt good right away, and i knew he was right for me. my love for him is unconditional and i hope he feels safe around me too. im sure thats how he knows im right too, he doesnt have to be or do anything different, he can just be himself and i'll love him regardless. even if hes a shit head sometimes <3

How do they express their feelings (Words, visual art, a song, etc.)?

answering for danse/art. neither of them are very good with words. danse is a very "acts of service" type of person. if art has a piece of equipment or something that needs fixing, danse already has it jotted down in his head to fix it later. art doesnt even have to ask, danse is already on it and tinkering with art's gun or armor or whatever.

meanwhile, art is very touchy if hes close with someone. he used to be better with expressing his feelings thru words, but it got hard after everything he went thru. so he sometimes just touches danse on his shoulder, his arm, his back, or holds his hand when he needs attention. danse had to get used to being touched all the time, but now he picks up on when art needs something or is trying to express something because he'll just give danse little touches or stand/sit close enough that theyre touching in some way.

Where would they go on a 3am adventure?

this screams shane/elfie. elfie calls shane at 3 am asking if he wants to come over. hes like elfie, its 3 am, why. she says she misses him and she wants to see him. he absolutely cannot say no to her so hes throwing on his sweats and jacket and booking it to her farm. i think theyd just chill together, so not really...much of an adventure. but i can also see her calling him up being like "wanna go explore that cave on my farm? :)" and hes like. what the fuck, but okay.

[deutoplasmic]

RIGHT TAKERU IS SOOOO,,, like if you do kiss him youre just gunna feel him smile into the kiss,,, pull you closer, maybe push you up against a wall,,, swear that hes addicted to you and that youre not gunna leave this shack without being addicted to him too 😶 (little does he know youre already addicted to him) he would be so INTENSE ESPECIALLY AFTER CENTURIES OF TENSION AND ITS JUST UGHHDHDHDJD
OMG IMAGINE. im totally not stealing this from 我们的少女时代 but raising an abandoned baby dreepy with him,,, and it becomes y/n’s strongest pokemon because theyre a ghost type gym leader OMGPMGJFKFKFK AND APPLETUNS ARE MY FAVORITE i literally picked up pokemon shield over sword just to get it LMAO and thats valid!!! i only know paradox pokemon well because i watch wolfeyvgc and he talks about their competitive viability (i absorb none of it!! but its fascinating bg noise) AND THANK YOUUU 🥺 you draw so well too 🥺🩷

LMAOJDJDJD LOSER RUKI PLS 🥺🥺🥺 he would be overjoyed if you asked him out,,, although his rapidash wont be happy with him for outing its crush on your rapidash

AWWW YES HE WOULD LOVE LITTLE SILLIES,,, and gible always getting copious amounts of honey LMAOOO masaya might even sneak some honey contraband into kyo’s bag for gible later

LMAOO OMG OUR BRAINCELLS!!! and omg yea junki is the type to eat poffins anyway 😭 like loudred is his BEST FRIEND FOREVER SO THEY HAVE TO EAT THE SAME FOODS!!! its great but you always add extra padding to your walls because their busking is great but your shop has breakable glass LMAOOO

UGHHH KYOSUKE IS SOOOO!!! like he just enters your shop and empties an entire bag of berries onto your table and he and gible flash matching toothy smiles,,, he tips his deliverer hat to you each time he leaves too UGH HES SUCH A CHARMER

HEALER KOSHIN IS SO CUTEEEE HE’LL DO HIS LITTLE DANCE WITH CLEFAIRY WHILE IT USES MOONLIGHT AND EVERYONE FEELS BETTER!!!! and omg dragonite trainer ken,,, IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE and hes probably the one whos actually trying to become pokemon champion challenging the gyms and all,,, the ash ketchum if u will

LMAOKDJDJD POOR TAKUMI BABIE,,, its ok youll fall for this y/n too. simp. (affectionate) and i loVE YOUR WRITING ITS SO *chefs kiss*

😦😦😦😦😦 oh my days . my only reaction to this . they're oh my days oh my days oh my days. i can hear him in my ears.... it's just you and him........ im going to have to put this being officially the furthest they go bc i'm not comfortable with anything more silly than that but AHHHHH the the the the . i . takeru what what what

KILLING MYSELF youre like fengfan how do you raise dragon pokemon i need help and he's like . well . why don't we do it together that way we get both the ghost and dragon expertise and you're like waittttt what.... and THEYRE SO CUTE omg little apple pie dragons so cool ....... so valid tbh i hope you ended up catching/evolving one 🙏 and omg .... i get what you mean ...... i think i watched an hour+ long vid of his once and it was actually pretty interesting......... and THANKS... imagine me clutching my chest and collapsing on the ground

he'd be overjoyed bc he wouldn't have to do it himself too LOL and yeah no his rapidash has to spend a bit of time over at your place whilst they cool down lmfao........ ruki dumps little cool things on your doorstep and speeds off without showing his face bc he fears he'll do smth embarrassing if you're right there in front of him

masaya always says that "this is the LAST one!!!!!" and then kyo shows up with like a gothita and well it just so happens that masaya has an open heart and open home LOL and absolutely!!!!!!!! every time kyo comes back around masaya's like so did gible enjoy this one and kyo's like you need to stop spoiling it LMAO

LITERALLY like if loudred can eat it then HE CAN TOO!!!!!!!! ALSO THINKING IF JUNKI STUMBLES UPON A NOIBAT. they have group singing lessons together. and then at some point it just becomes "part of the family" or smth idk junki doesn't know either 🤣 but YEAH LOOOL they shatter your windows once and you've learnt your mistake

TIPPING HIS HAT DO YOU WANT ME SIX FEET UNDER oh my god the matching snaggleteeth it's over it's SO OVER he usually has "spare" trinkets lying around and gives them to you bc it would be a waste otherwise ......... one morning you discover that one of your poffin makers are broken and you absentmindedly tell kyo this when he comes around for early deliveries and well . by the end of the day . he's managed to source another functional one and refuses any payment you shove on him!!!!!!! omg you probably have this thing where you sneak a few coins on him and he does the same just somewhere in your shop ......

I CAN SEE IT I CAN SEE IT FRIENDSHIP TRULY IS MAGIC ......... he stays at sho's place for an internship once and god they're probably the most wholesome establishment for a good while. YEAH omg he is the ash ketchum of this universe. he prolly picks up a bunch of friends along the way and they help him become the champion................

he definitely will be in the end LOL near death experiences are bonding experiences. he thinks you're so cool and you just laugh and pat him on the back. also thank you omg............ you're so nice 😰🙏

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

The Wisdom Saga

*screaming*

Legendary

i love the piano and the melody of this so much

i love this song

so much omg

he just wants to be like his dad.... he wants to know his dad and be close to him in any way....... augh

"Somebody come tell me, give me a sign" YEAH

CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS CHORSU ITS SO ICONIC OMG

his little "l-l-l-l-legendary" gets me every time

"men who call me small" he's like. 20 isnt he? goddamn

augh verses and bridges...

CHORUS CHORUS CHORUS

ugh the fucking suitors

theyre so nasty i hate them and i love hating them

"tramp" BITCH DONT YOU DARE

this bitch is so antagonstic omg

OH HES tALKING ABOUT THE SUITOR AS THE MONSTER OH

Little Wolf

this is such a good beat

I hate and love this because i hate the suitors but i love to do it you know?

bruh youre threatening this baby

calling Ody his "daddy" seems so antagonistic omg

the voice actors did a great job. singers? va's? idk

vicious fucking chorus-

YEAHHHH ATHENA

the return of the ticking and the piano

the fact that telemachus's and athenas piano feel similar to me...

oh athena is so badass

i love calling teh suitors dogs and telemachus a wolf

ShE SAID LITTLE WOLF CHANGING TEH MEANING OMG

AhhhHHHHHH THIS SONG GOES SO HARD

oof poor guy got pushed too hard and lost :<

"man to adorn her" i feel like i heard that wrong

"Tell me Athena why you came to my aid" good line to end on very good

We'll Be Fine

the piano sounds so sad and hopeful at the same time

I wonder if telemachus knows shes talking about odysseus

ough blaming herself for Ody turning out this way...

god her voice is so pretty, this song is so pretty and i love it

oh i guess he doesn't know

"I got in a fight and i didn't die" BRO THATS BARE MINIMUM??

i mean hes got a bunch of points

he's so hopeful it hurts

god i cant wait for the rueinion

"you're a good kid" "thanks" AUGH STAB ME ALREADY

Love in Paradise

oooooh so many refrains returning

I forgot about this i love it

choosing that section of thunder bringer is CRUEL

and then waves and a new synth for Calypso :>

She sounds so pretty omg

"She's my wife" "anyways-" BRO

"I'm not your man" in the same way he sings I'm Just A Man

"I'm no pet I'm a married man!" DAMN RIGHT

Her introduction is so catchy and fun though omg

He sounds so distraught

7 years oof

i wonder if it was 20 years away from home actually

god he sounds so fucking tragic and sad and she's trying so hard, but he cant augh

"Stay in my open arms" to polites singing omg mean to me

this song is so good-

HE CALLED FOR ATHENA??

and the ticking!!!!

"He needs my help" YEAH HE DOES

God Games

this sog goes so hard omg

omg she's openly claiming him as a friend

the brass fuck yeah

TH EINTRODUCTIONS GO SO HARD

also all the animatics for these are so amazing as well

"bring it" yeahhh!!

Apollo is so easy omg. i love him. im writing fic about him. i have to.

Heaphestus was also convinced pretty easy, which was nice

Aphrodite and Ares section was interesting, probably the most interesting story wise.

I love ares intro and section

YEAHHH ATHENA GET THEIR ASSES GET EM FUCK YEAH

i love the return of her motif and stuff <- doesn't know the correct terminology sorry

Heras section is so groovy i love it

AND FUNNY OMG THATS GREAT

and she won but she didnt but she will

Zeus you sore loser cringe fuck

i would bitch slap him even if he made me ash a second later

god i can't believe he almost killed athena thats so fucking- AHAKJJ

and her motif.... AND IT COMING BACK WITH THE BRASS YEAHHHH

SHE WINS. SHE WINS. SHES GOTTA.

Ending on "Let him go, please, let him go" is MEAN TO ME SPECIFICALLY

god i love tihs saga so much

and this album

Live Reaction of my SECOND listen through of EPIC: The Musical

okay i want my Thoughts after finishing the first listen through today (over the course of a week) but i need to listen Again so here we fucking go peoples. Reblogging with each new saga to keep things organized a bit :)

The Troy Saga

we start!!

The Horse And The Infant

"little ajax stay back" 🥺

"You're not ready"

"I could raise him as my own" I WISH PLEASE

the whole section with overlapping dialogue of possibilities and the tragic ends they would lead to

i wanna know who that guy speaking was i don't remember

Just a Man

its so tragic how this infant reminds him of his own son like what the fuck thats so fucked up how could jorge do this to us. OW.

"close your eyes and spare yourself the view" Q^Q

this whole song gets me. especially paired with WolfyTheWitch's animatic to it. augh.

GOD knowing that all of these metaphors come back later and become Relevant i CANT OMG

"Forgive me" is probably the worst thing he could say because i do and i can't at the same time, but he's not asking me to forgive him, he's asking this INFANT who he KILLED AUGH

Full Speed Ahead

600 men. 601 with Odysseus

god this really is just setting the scene huh. and well!!

He really did wanna go home as fast as he could

OH MY GOD MY BOI I FORGOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS OPEN ARMS

his voice is like. angelic. wow.

"and if we don't return, then 600 men can make this place burn" i forgot about that woah

Open Arms

"My friend" my heart hurts

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" oh sweet boy

the sound of a sword being drawn is so good omg

"600 friends are waiting for us to show our faces" XD bruh not subtle

EVEN LESS SUBTLE

Polites i love you

"My friend" you are friends yes please remember that please

Oh i forgot the lotus eaters sent them to "this food filled cave"

"I see in your face there is so much guilt in your heart" AUGH MY BOY

the repeating by odysseus...

"You can relax my friend" at the end like AUGH thats so GOOD and then the immediate next song being Warrior of the Mind !!! very good very tragic

Warrior of the Mind

immediately the music change raises the tension

the way Odysseus immediately knows who she is, hears or something, i love it so much.

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you." AUGH hes not a man, but a tool

He seems like more of a conquest or trophy than a person to her, which is fair given he's a mortal and she's a goddess but damn this really does just keep happening to him, being a gods plaything huh?

THIS CHORUS GOES SO SO HARD THOUGH

"Maybe one day he'll follow me and we'll make a greater tomorrow" the way she sings this makes my brain so happy

the whole chorus just scratches my brain in such a good way omg

the slowness. "show yourself"

HIS LITTLE LAUGH

the whole exchange honestly

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess, so lets be honest-" YES YES YES

"YOU ARE ATHENA" WOOOOOOOOOOOO CLAPPING CHEERING

his description of her is great

"goddess and man, bestest of friends!" "We'll see where it ends" "okay" asdghkjsa im wheezing

THEIR DUET

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"ending on "don't disappoint me" is so mean

[edsbev]

Ok now we have how they both realized their feelings mayyyybeeeee how they told eachother?????????

it takes a little while. theyre a little bit older. have both come to terms with the fact that they might just have to pine forever. 

and its richie who finally cracks. bc of course it is. hes been pining for longer. he has trouble keeping his mouth shut. honestly its a miracle he managed to keep his feelings a secret for this long. 

its a saturday night and theyre sitting in an empty parking lot in richies truck, eating fast food. and a lot of things have happened recently. 

one - eddie has taken up baseball at school, and his skin has bronzed from how much time he spends out in the sun training. his thighs are toned and his arms have filled out. and its become ridiculously hard not to stare. 

two - bev and ben have started dating. and being around their in-love, coupley gooeyness has only made richie want eddie even more. he’ll watch bev and ben cuddle on the couch during their movie nights, kiss each other hello and goodbye when theyre hanging out, and his brain will immediately go to: what if that was me and eddie. 

and three - the combination of those two things have made being around eddie so hard that richie has been actively avoiding him. he barely turns up to the losers hang outs anymore, he cancelled the last two catch-ups he and eddie had planned. and, while they can, thankfully, just chalk it up to them being older, being busier, richie knows that eddie has started to notice, and he doesnt want eddie to think that hes avoiding him bc he hates him. 

so richie has come to conclusion that he needs to tell him. the truth. 

“this shit is so disgusting,” eddie says, shovelling fries into his mouth. the whole trucks smells of them. hot, stuffy, salty. “i can already feel the grease clogging up my fucking arteries.” 

“yet you keep eating them,” richie says. he adds, “idiot” because he knows he’s being soft. he knows he’s looking at eddie with that stupid, dopey smile he gets whenever eddie is being cute. 

its just. eddie is cute. his hair curling around his ears, shovelling fries into his mouth with a sort of pinched, irritated look on his face, like the fries have personally insulted him. hes so fucking cute and there’s been a hundred other moments just like this. where richie will watch him, and his heart will swell up like a balloon, and he’ll almost say it. eddie, i like you. i like you so fucking much, eddie. i want to kiss you so badly. 

so he’s gonna do it right now. just get it out there. it doesnt matter if eddie doesnt feel the same way, he just needs him to know. 

richie wipes his palms on his jeans, taps his fingers against the steering wheel, breathes in, out. shaky. nervous. and then he finally says, “eddie.” 

“mmm?” eddie mumbles, poking through their takeout bag. 

“i…” god, richie wants to throw up. he swallows. “i just thought that i should…explain. why i’ve been so weird lately.” 

eddie glances up from the bag, quirks an eyebrow at him. “you’re always weird,” he says. 

“yeah, youre right,” richie laughs, a breathy, nervous laugh. “i mean why i’ve been weirder than usual recently.” 

and eddie seems to realise what richies talking abt, seems to pick up on richies anxious energy, bc he shrinks a little into the seat. 

“i just…dont want you to think that i havent been around recently bc ive been avoiding you,” richie starts. and it just kinda all tumbles out of him, messy. “well, actually, i have been avoiding you. but it hasnt been for, like, a bad reason. like i dont hate you or whatever. i, um.” he works his thumb against the steering wheel, clears his throat, glances hesitantly at eddie. “i like you.”

eddie doesnt say anything. he looks very small against the seat. 

“as in…i like like you,” richie continues, bc now he cant shut up. “like how bev and ben like each other - ugh, whatever you get it, im being stupid. but it just…makes it hard to be around you sometimes.” 

the still, quiet expression on eddies face is impossible to read. richie is so antsy he swears he’s going to explode. 

“so. yeah. i just thought i’d tell you. i’m really not trying to make things weird or anything. and you don’t have to say anything back. i just didnt want you to think that i hate you, or whatever.” 

eddie still doesnt say anything. a car pulls up a few spaces away, turns half the parking lot gold with its headlights before it shuts off, plunging it back to black. richie drums his fingers skittishly against the steering wheel. 

“ok i need you to say something, eddie,” richie says finally, after what feels like a decade, “i’m going crazy over here.” 

eddie blinks, and even in the shadowy-dark, richie swears he can see eddies face go red. “i…dont know what to say.” 

richie feels like he’s going to be sick. “just, uh, that you dont hate me and still wanna be a my friend would be nice,” he says, tries to play that off as a joke. 

“i dont hate you,” eddie says. and at least that sounds sincere. 

“well, thats a relief,” richie says. it looks like eddie is about to say more, but he doesnt. a crease forming in his brow, lips pursed and pushed up toward his cheek, as though he’s contemplating something.

“ok. uh. lets just talk abt something else then, eh?” richie says, awkward. “pass me some of those fries.” 

but eddie doesnt. the little crease in his brow just deepens. and then eddie is shoving away the fastfood and kneeling up on the truck’s bench seat.

richie startles, watches with wide eyes as eddie shuffles closer to him. places one hand on richies shoulder, reaches over with the other to cup richies jaw and turn his head to face him. looking very determined. 

“i…” richies whole face is burning, his throat tight. “what are you doing?” 

“im going to kiss you,” eddie says, very matter of fact. 

richie tries to say something, but all that comes out is a broken, strangled sound. 

“is that okay?” eddie asks. 

“uh yes. yep. fucking. yes.” eddies face is so close. his lips are so close. slightly parted, look so plump and soft and kissable. its a surprise richie manages to have a single coherent thought, but he gets out: “im just very confused.” 

“i like you too, okay? i just didnt know how to say it.” eddie’s voice threatens to speed up in that way it does when he’s nervous. but he breathes in, swallows it down. and says, much gentler, “so i… thought i’d show you.” and as he says that, his cheeks go red and his gaze drops to richies own mouth, and richie just about passes out. 

“okay,” richie breathes. okokokokokokokokok

eddie hesitates. they are paused, staring at each other’s lips. then eddie lifts his hands from richies shoulder to cup richies face with both hands.

and he swoops in and kisses him. 

but eddie pulls away quickly, like he’s still a little unsure, anxious eyes flitting between richies. but richie just says, dazed, “kiss me again” and eddie cant say no to that. so he does.

its a kiss thats soft for all of five seconds. theyve both wanted this so badly for so long. richie wraps his arms around eddies waist, eddie wraps his arms around richies shoulders. richie deepens the kiss, pushing up against eddie so much that eddie begins to lean backwards. eddie lets him, bringing richie even closer. 

when they pull away for air, they leave only a breath between their mouths. lips brushing as their chests heave. eddie looks down at richie with lowered eyelids and it drives richie crazy. 

“you like me,” richie breathes. 

he can feel eddies smile against his own his mouth. “you like me,” eddie says. 

“a whole fucking lot, yeah,” richie says, and then dives in to kiss him again.

they make out for ages in richies truck. and they’ll talk abt all that feeling stuff later. how long they’ve liked each other, when it started, what this means for them, where they stand now. and they do. but right now literally all they care abt is richies hands on eddies ass, and eddies hands in richies hair. 

[ohnomyfishjustdied]

Me watching the last bit of the last Harry Potter movie. WARNING SPOILER ALERT

Ohmy. I’m excited to know what is going to happen because it’s so scary. I have the idea that snape is very very mean but i have seen guesses that he is the very best in the last movie and everybody will love him so im really scared. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas i love it i love it. ohmy fuckkk. What is this buullshit theyre suddenly figthing and now its sort of over but harry is totally collapsing and people are really scared. Ohno a huge scream i hope its not ginny another scream. Scary whispers in my ears. Voldemort is trying to convince everybody that they should give harry and ginny is the best and filtch is actually a genious. Yaaas miss i dont know your name anymore. And i also love luna. Hahahahahha ilove proffesor something woman mcgonnagan or something. shes so cute hahahahah awiieieiie all the other teachers are great too right now but it is especially the music that makes me really happy and excitted of course LOL im so happy Luna knows more go to screaming girl. They like to go through glasses and windows while filming ive seen it more often. Holy fuck thats one big army ohmyyyy are all those peope followers of voldemort. Ohmy. What is going to happen ohmy they broke their own promise. Helena is quite creepy isnt she. In the place where everythinh is hidden if you have to ask youll never know if you know youll never find it something like that. I like that ron knows the spel to open it. oh fuck theyre already there. They need one tooth from the basilisk. Come ooonnnn do it already ohmy fuck what is happening ohmy is it better now he is dead right aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ther kissing finalllyyyyyyy yaasssss ohmy yas i love it haha hand giggling. Ohmy voldemort is strong now. Ginny is so cute. The eternal wand is breaking? What is this he is using it to strongly or something. Id be scared to death ahhahaah see nevile running. Awieiiei its so sad tho. They have a good backup plann ohnooooo where is neville is he dead nooooo he is not yasss thankfully ohmy hahhahahahah you joker ’that went well’. Wowowowo also there are giants and stuff it seems like voldemort is winning now i do not wish to lose more of my followers or kids. Comeon harry find that stupid thing yaaaas theyre kissing again i love them. Malfoy you stupid fuck. Go harryyy dont die please i have already seen a post that he almost dies or something i cant lose him tho so careful pls. Is he going into that thing that vanishes things ohno he was searching for  that other thing. Whats that creature. I hear something. Harry pls save draco come on you. Yassss save him pls yeysysyysysyysys im so happty rn but watch it for the fire. HE GOT IT ITS IN THE FIRE THE DIADEM IS KILLED HE MUST BE REALLY WEAK RN i hope so but harry isnt really feeling better himself i see. Oh hes testing his skills by killing someone.. very brave V. … THis is such a good movie tho so many emotions are in this movie its so good. Lucius doesnt really look good actually tbh. Harry pls tell what you saw that you will come to him and he doenst have to find you pls do that and pls dont lag again wait imma start you up again bevause this is highly annoying. It now gives no nvrmind it has started. Hogwarts is one big mess tho ohmy its huge and terrible even spiders and stuff. The music makes it a hundred times more dramatic than it actually is tho its terrible who made this awesome shield Albuussusu or his brother yasss slay queen. There is some discussion about the wand what is snape going to do he is sort of nervous. The elder wand belongs to snape ohmy he is the true owner ohno he has to be killed wtf voldemort is such a mean person he is the worst i know. HP has to look at snape being killed wtf is he going to do something ohno there is blood all over the wall wtf is happening please save him HP save him you are such a good person at heart HP ohmy i wouldnt be able to do that at all. Snape is being pretty cute right now tbh dont dieeee i dont want people to die anymore wtf is happening and why does this keep happening. Harry stay strong and hermione too please everybody hears this now not anymore or ohmy thats not fucking true you are such a loser worst thing is its not a scream it is actually more powerful its is a whisper and how much more powerful is a whisper compared to a scream? Thats so true think about it if you will. Now everybody will be mad at harry i know it is true huh wait she was dead right. NOOOO WHY fredddd nooo fuck that shit and whyyyy luyping i said i didnt want to lose anyone anymore ohmy fuck dont you know how to listen you stupid fuck. Is this dumbledores office i think so i wish i was a witch you know how awesome that wouldve been? Aww who is the cute girl and the stupid girl and the cute little snape. Ohmy so first lily was severuss friend maybe they were lovers even thats so mean tho of James to take that advantage. Ohmyyyyy James is actually so mean tho ohmy and even dumbledore is mean is harry snapes kid or what i didnt quite get it. nope nope nope snape is the best person ever ohmyyyy i hope he lives ohmy fuck we all thought wrong all secrets are revealed. Ohmy fuckkk how is this possible snape is so cute noooo he must die in order to ohno snape loved lily so much so so sos o feeaking much thats so mean dumbledore ohmy fuck snape cares HE IS THE ONE THAT SHOWS HIM THE SWORD OHMY FUCK OR IT WAS LILY. HE MUST BE KILLED BY V. what is this movie ohmy fuck im screaming and crying and ohmy fuck i love you HP. Please live in the end but do kill V. Ron is so less handsome compared to hermione and harry NO OFFENSE AND FUCK ALL THESE MOVIES WHY WHY. Hes is ready to die ohmy fuck what is this shit. Oooh that is the stone that wil bring back to life isnt it so he is going to live int the end isnt it hes gonna live right just swallow the stone for me boy do it. I love sirius black more than who is remuss son? DONT DROP IT YOU FOOL AAAH WHY DID YOU DO IT NOW UGH WHY WHY. Watch it he is coming tho. LET HAGRID LIVE OKAY. THE FINAL SHOW. 40 min. Left. The sound is crazy what is he dead the spell was used on him now it was avada kadavra it is one of the three unforgivable spells. AW cute little ugly voldemort with a huge head. So he kills off his own horkroxe thats stupid right where are his glasses tho i like him more with his glasses on hes cuter like that. Im really relaxed i know that he will live, barely, but live. Were snape and lily meant to be i want to know come on now. I wnat to read the books and read what it all is about bevause i believe i missed half of it. HE LIVED THE FUCK OUT OF AN UNFORGIVABLE SPELL HE SAID DEAD WELL HE IS NOT YOU meanER hey that is the sorting hat thats nice. HELP WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU HARRY JUST WAIT FOR IT. hagrid looks quite happy tbh not really sad or anything. Why is he carried to the hogwarts castle tho. Harry is dead i dont think so whahhahahahha he will live. Even miss filch will not do such things and draco not either WHAHAHAHHA ITS YOUR OWN FAULT STAY DRACO NOOO DONT GO PLS. Nooooooooooo i had trust in you you fucker. NEVILLE TOO. No. No.nononononono. thats not going to what i dont remember what i was writing what are you going to say neville go boy yeah you go tell him pls. FRED WHY DID YOU DIE WHY TF. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH HIS FACE OHMY THIS IS GREAT I LOVE IT> THEYRE WEAK now yeah you run pls. Coward the malfoys arent they always have been stupid persons. Harry do you see them now is he right around the corner. GREEN is the evil colour wait they just swapped plaves how tho okay great anyways. You go hermione throw some rocks at him. Yeah neville wake up grab the sword and just go. Wait a moment why could they get into the vault with imperior because anyone could have done it like that and millions of things could’ve been stolen right lol. But wowowowoowowowoowowo you go weasley mother yass. Wowow courage to jump like that hold on to him tho harry or youll die honey. Wutttttttttttttrt have they formed into one for a sec wt is harry still the samen ow IF THE SNAKE is killed harry might live through this drave is YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS NEVILLEEE I LOVE YOU SLAYYY BOY NOW YOURE WEAK HOW DOES IT FEEL voldemort isnt going to win this time. The wand always belonged to harry never to dumbledore ohmy that is genious there he goees he is officially dead right now he didnt even live for so long he couldve lived longer as a normal human being to be honest. HEY LUNA I LIKE YOU. HEY HARRY AND GINNY LIKE YOU TOO. THEYRE SMILING AGAIN NOW ALREADY hey hagrid sweetie. Now he is the only person to live after the avada spell isnt he. Hey herron shipname hermione and ron hahahhahahhah. Its a big mess tho. Okay so via draco it was harrys yay dont throw it out pls. Or break it WOW YOU STUPID HAHAHHAH WHY THO. I guess it will only bring problems but yeah it is kinda hasty to do such a thing isnt it. so he just defeated the darkest wizard ever and only has a bleeding nose wtf hahahha how does he do it tho. WHAT A BEAUTFUL END oh lets see 19 yrs later. LONdon AWIE CUTE BOYS whose childeren will that be. HARRIES AND GINNIES OHMY SO CUTEEE HAHAHHAHA OHMY IM REALLY HAPPY LOL EVEN DRACO IS THERE. He has a ferret that is boring why not an owl. Ohmyyyyyyy herron have kids toooooo yaysyysysy im gonna cry theyre so cute. A#IEIWIIWIWIASDF@#PR UFJ SDK FJ SKDLFSDFKNDFLAKSDJFASJDFOIJAWLKSJDFIJSDLFKJSKDFJK. HES SO CUTE AS A DAD I WONDER WHAT HE DOES FOR A JOB> for a living more lolololol ohmy its so cute tho. 19 years later they havent aged a day lolololol. 

[performanceteams]

5 pm and its already real emo hours?

ya girl kat is back at it again

*deep sigh*

yep, it seems like i have existential crisisies every damn time before i have a huge assessment (which is all the damn time in this hell forsaken ib program)

i just i dont know like always i feel kinda empty, in fact i’ve kinda felt like this for awhile, not just a sorta sadness but also a kind of tiring emptiness

even when i laugh or smile or im having fun, theres still this kind of underlying sadness or worry at the back of my mind

theres a lot of reasons i feel this way, and i dont think i can pinpoint it on one particular thing or event, but i guess to sum it up i feel like im sort of regressing. I used to have these big dreams of being some lawyer and going to a super legit ivy league, and being successful and happy.

but because of this fuckign program i realised i cant do that, i guess yeah its good the difficulty helped me realise that life is hard eariler than later, but a part of me quite frankly would have prepared 2 more years of blissful ignorance. so like last year i decided no i cant do that i cant take the stress im not smart enough that jist blah blah so i guess i kinda haphazardly decided ummm ill do psychology?? its something im interested in and my friends always go to me when theyre down and im pretty good at cheering them up and i did well on the psych course i took 

but the thing is im so unsure o fgoing into this when all my friends are doing ““successful”“ majors like comscip or engineering or premed. and im not even sure of the major i want to do....

i know my parents say therye okay with it but like the truth is i know they arent. like my dad looked so dissapointede in me when i told him i didnt apply to any buisness schools

what im also scrae dof is doing psych at uni and having the whole being assesed thing make me hate it. nothing kills passion than having it associated with dissapointment and stress

my parents sort of instilled this idea in me that if something isnt useful dont do it. which is causing me a lot of grief and stress rn with the recent intersts and hobbies i have. there around 3 but ill just talk about one right now

languages, since like grade 6 ive been fascinated baout languages, i wanted to learn more and wanted to be those cool polygots. i didnt get that far you konw preteen attention span, i learned the cyrillic alphabet and really basic german in the brief period of time tho

in like grade 11 i spent time (and still am) spending time relearning how to read and write chinese, that wasnt a struggle because well i am chinese and its a DAMN useful language

but then grade 12 (aka me last  2+ weeks) i stumbled upon the langblr community and i remembered the interest and spark i used to have about languages, and i saw so many people and so many RELALY GOOD RESORUCES and i was like wow.

so i was like ugh whatever i guess il download duolingo just to check out the features ill probably ditch it anyway

well two weeks and 100 lingots later... guess i didnt ditch it.... but then like theres this nagging voice in my head thats telling me to stop wasting my time learning french, russian, spanish (and german kinda but i haveent startred that yet) these languages arent going to be useful for my future i should sjust stop im wasitng my time

im wasting my time just like i always do, i waste my time doing meaningless things i wont even be able to speak or read these languages that well ill forget eventually so why am i wasitng my time now?

this voice is just so damn loud and i wish i could tell it to shut up

i wish i could truly enjoy something that makes me happy wtihout thinking im wasting my time and im a loser i really ohenstly dont feel that im good at anything or have any geniune long lasting passion i feel like ill ditch the whole langauges and the other two hobbies soon i just feel like ill continue my cycle of mediocirty

another part of me just wonders if im seeing tthe past through rose coloured glasses, so i went back to read some of my old journals and stuff  and i think with the exception of some periods of time

i was geniunely happier then than i am now

but i also had some unhealthy ideas about myself, interests, and i was kind of unhealthily obsessive over some things, granted i still have some problems with that. but i think the main difference is now i’m aware

and to be frank, being aware im not entirely sure if thats a GOOD thing, in fact it kinda makes my not so good feelings feel worse since im aware.

what is geniune happiness? what is the difference between a hobby or interest that brings true joy or just unhealthy escapism? i dont know well i think i know what the answer might be but its still blury and vague

well from this i think one thing im not that bad is im alright at expressing myself and my emotions, im almost too in tune with myself, but the problem is yes i may be aware yes i may be able to articulate myself. but i dont do anything to change

so my circumstances and my feelings and the general state im always in, i guess its just my fault

i hope to look at this months or a year or maybe even years from now and say i didnt have anything to worry about and that things became better

but then again, maybe in the future ill be saying “wow yo u had it easy, i wish i could go back things are much worse now”

honestly i have way more to say but this already seems to o long so maybe another time i have an exam tmrw anyway