#and they're not really reviews they're more like excited rambling

[babisawyer]

finally got to watch scream 5 since 6 is now up for streaming worst experience of my life.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter nine: "Entropy"

Summary:  Diana's health hasn't been well, and Spencer is forced to spend some time away from his pregnant wife and daughter. The day has come for Spencer and his wife to meet their nemesis: Cat Adams. Word count: 15.345 words  Warnings: smut, angst, Spencer is in danger, spoilers of Criminal Minds "Entropy"  A/N: I loved writing this chapter more than I can actually explain. I really need feed back 'cos I want to know what you think. 

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Spencer's point of view

There was a case that changed everything for me and my family while working at the BAU. And it all started with a network of hitmen targeting our dearest Penelope Garcia. We had been blind for months, no one ever noticed what was happening under our eyes. It hadn't been a good couple of weeks for us, because my mom hadn't been doing so well with her medicine and her doctors had changed it three times already. I wanted to visit her, but with (Y/N) already four months into her second pregnancy, and still having very bad days, plus the team down one agent, time wasn't on our side.

When did we notice something potentially awful was about to happen? It started the day JJ came back from her maternity leave.

Penelope had organized a little welcome-back party for JJ. She decorated her desk with all the pictures Jennifer had sent us during her absence. Rossi brought a box of Cuban cigars, and (Y/N) and I got little Michael a new brand set of encyclopedias.

- "And I realize that most of this information is most likely on that "internet," but you can never teach old-fashioned research habits too soon."- I pointed out as JJ stared at me and nodded.

- "I tried to stop him, but he was too excited."- (Y/N) joked and everybody chuckled.

- "You are radian, (Y/N)! How many weeks?"- JJ hugged my wife and stared at her with a massive smile

- "Sixteen and counting."

- "How's the little guy doing?"- Rossi asked Jennifer, making her smile filled with pride right away.

- "Oh, he's good. He's sleeping through the night for now, at least. Oh, and, Spence, I showed him the picture of when you first visited and he started kicking his little legs and he smiled real big!"- JJ looked excited as she kept talking to me, and Rossi grabbed my face and squeezed my cheeks.

- "Who wouldn't get excited seeing that bella faccia?"

- "I think he wants to see you. You should visit us this weekend. With Raven, of course."

- "We would love to go."- (Y/N) replied and held my hand very tight.

- "You know, studies have shown that babies begin exhibiting cognizable nonverbal communication within days of birth."- I was about to add something else when JJ shook her head and looked at Pen.

- "And some things never change."- so I guessed she preferred that I stopped rambling, she always complained when I did.

- "Yeah. And some things do, and because of that, we took the liberty of doing... this"- Garcia walked JJ to her desk and showed her all the framed pictures she had set there.

- "You guys, I love it. It's... it's perfect. Thank you, all of you."- JJ paused for a second and looked over Hotch's office. He and Morgan were having a serious conversation locked in there. - "Almost all of you."

- "They're debriefing."- Rossi explained and grabbed one of the citron bottles Garcia had brought.- "But we can toast in the meantime."

And so we did. We toasted and drank for JJ and her kids. In the back of my head, I kept thinking that now that she was back, I could take a few days to visit my mom and put an eye on her, maybe talk with some other doctors to review her treatment.

Our celebration ended when Rossi's daughter, Joy, entered the FBI with a case. It started like an investigation she was writing for Esquire, and she ended up discovering a pattern of young women's abductions from colleges from all over the country.

Morgan and I drove to campus and talked with one of the victim's friends, who had seen the last one to see her, 'cos they had been to a party together. That helped us retrace her last movements. Then, me and JJ were sent to the street to try to find a clue as to where that poor girl had been abducted, or by who. We had a suspect on camera, but no name, no nothing.

My phone rang when JJ and I were walking through a lonely alley. It was from my mother's doctor's office. I hung up and texted that I was calling back later. And of course, that didn't go unnoticed by JJ.

- "Everything ok?"

- "Actually, no. My mom's not doing so well. The doctors have had to change her medicine three times to try to stabilize the schizophrenia."- I simply said it 'cos I didn't want to talk much about it. I knew she wasn't going to let that go if I didn't tell her what was going on.

- "Spence, why didn't you say anything?"

- "Well, (Y/N) and I have been talking about going to see her, but I don't want her to travel in her condition. And we've been so busy at work and with Raven..."

- "But why didn't you tell me? You know you can trust me. I'm your friend."

- "I didn't want to bother you."- which was true: I didn't want to tell her 'cos she was on maternity leave until that morning, besides, it was a delicate issue and I just wanted to talk about it with my wife.

- "Ok."- she held my arm and stood in front of me. - "That's never possible. Got it?"- I nodded and looked at her, trying to smile.- "How long has this been going on?"

- "It's gotten really bad in the last few weeks."

- "Look, the minute we are done here, you need to go help her. She needs you."

- "I know. (Y/N) and I already talked with Hotch this morning. As soon as the case is done, I'll fly to Vegas."- JJ nodded and smiled, but it felt forced somehow.- "But right now, we need to focus on the case, alright ?"

It's not that I didn't value JJ's friendship, but I didn't feel like opening up with her at that moment. We had to work, and me and my wife had already talked about what we had to do, and how to do it. We had our plan. I just needed to execute it.

Sometimes I still felt JJ treated me like a kid, like the first few years I worked with the FBI. She no longer tried to make me eat greens or comment on my outfits, but from time to time she had those moments where she'd treat me like a kid brother who needed a grown-up's guidance. And honestly, I hated it. We were friends, we supported each other, but I didn't need her to patronize me.

That was one of the main reasons why I had taken a step aside in my friendship with JJ. I wasn't mad at her or anything and I still loved working with her. But since she had baby Michael, we weren't spending as much time with her and Will as we used to. They didn't have as much time as they used to either, they had two kids. And back then we were spending a lot of our free time with Morgan and Savannah and with Lu and her boyfriend.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I knew Spencer didn't want to leave us alone, but he had to visit his mom. She needed him, and we had a big net of support. I could handle a few days on my own with Raven. Even four months pregnant. So, as soon as the case was done, he got into a plane to visit Diana.

Raven and I planned our whole week to the T. We had sleepovers every night on our bed, watched movies, read stories together to her sister or brother, and played with her dolls. Mikey, Lu, and Frank visited us, and they called us daily to know if we needed anything. And Spencer video called us every single night, right before Raven's bedtime. He would ask about our day, and what she had done, if she had fun at school (she was already in preschool, and she loved everything about it). He would also read her a short story to help her sleep and then talk to me for a while.

Diana was not getting better. In fact, things got worse when Spencer was in Las Vegas, which is why one week turned into two and soon into three.

- "I'm so sorry, chipmunk."- my husband whispered through the line. It was late at night, Raven was already asleep and sound in our bed, and I was having one last cup of tea on the phone with Spencer.

- "It's ok, honey bunny. We miss you like crazy, but we are fine. It's your mom I'm worried about."

- "Well, things are not looking so good here. I got the results of the test today."- my heart stopped with those words, and I could feel the pain in Spencer's words as he confessed the truth. - "She has an early onset of dementia. Most likely Alzheimer."

- "Honey..."- everything and anything I could have told him that minute was completely useless. I heard him sobbing at the other side of the line as tears fell from my eyes.

- "And I can't help her, no matter what I do. I can't."- he mumbled through the line. My arms hurt 'cos I couldn't hug him, and I didn't want my husband, the love of my life, crying alone in some hotel, when he had a wife who could comfort him.

- "I'm so sorry. So sorry, Spencer."

- "The worst part of it all is thinking this can all happen to me as well. I could carry the same gene. I might start forgetting all our memories. One day I could not recognize our own kids."

- "Spencer, don't."- I tried to stop that train of thought, but it was clearly too late for that, my husband's mind had gone to the darkest places.

- "And there's nothing I can do about it either, I mean, there is no cure for dementia. Some medication might delay it a few years at best, but I'm doomed."

- "Spencer, stop. Don't think that. You don't know what's gonna happen. You can't think that right now. You need to focus on your mom. You have to help her. There is still time to help her."

Spencer sighed and wiped his nose. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, he just tried to calm himself down as I whispered how much I loved him, and how proud I was of him.

- "You are an amazing son, honey. You do everything you can to make sure your mother is healthy and fine."- I knew I was telling him the truth, but I also knew nothing I could say to him would ever help him feel better.

- "It's not enough."- he whispers and breaks into tears again.

- "No hon, you will always keep trying to do better, 'cos it's your mom we are talking about. But you can't do miracles."

I will never forget the day he told me he felt he had failed in life as a genius because his plan to find the cure to schizophrenia before turning 25 never came true. We were just friends back then, and I remember I hugged him tight on my couch and heard him weep. The effect of hearing him sobbing on the other side of the country was just as heartbreaking then as it was before. I loved Spencer so much I couldn't stand him being sad or in pain. I much rather suffer myself than know he was unhappy.

- "I'm sorry, ma cherie. I'm bringing you down."

- "Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive."- I quoted Charlotte Bronte and I could almost see his smile as I did.

- "You've been reading a lot in my absence?"

- "I try, but reading alone it's not as fun as reading with you."

- "I'll come home soon, ma cherie."

- "Come home when your mom is feeling better. We'll be here, waiting for you with your favorite dinner and a million hugs and kisses."

- "How is the baby?"

- "Kicking my bladder is their favorite game apparently."- Spencer didn't say anything, he made a long pause and finally sighed.

- "I'll come home this week. I can't be far from my family for too long."

- "Why don't you bring your mother with you? She is part of this family."

- "No chipmunk, she has to stay here with the doctors. They have to take care of her, monitor her, and analyze the meds they are giving her."- Spencer didn't hesitate to decline my suggestion.

- "Promise me you will take her home with us if it's needed. She can stay with us, Raven loves her."- my husband paused and sighed one more time, before telling me the complete truth.

- "My mother hasn't been much herself in the last couple of days. And I'm afraid to bring her home to you and Raven."- I knew Diana had been violent but I never understood how much. For years I inferred she had never been aggressive with Spencer during her episodes when he was young, but when my husband hesitated to bring her around our own daughter, that's when I realized she was in fact, out of herself.

- "Just don't leave her alone if she still needs you."- I whispered and rubbed my belly. - "We miss you, but we know you're doing the right thing."

- "Thank you, chipmunk. Mom asked about you today."

- "Did she? Really?"- I got super excited with the news and even a little emotional, and I blame the hormones for my reaction.

- "Yes, she said of all the things I had accomplished in life, having you as my wife was the best of them."

- "Diana is such a wise woman."

- "That's true, my love."

Four days later, Spencer was back home. During that time, I spent most of my time at the BAU with Penelope and Raven. Our dear friend was currently living there, and of course, she was miserable. A band of hitmen was after her, there was no way she was enjoying her forced stay at Quantico. Which is why Raven and I spent as much time with her as possible. We baked her cupcakes and had a tea party with her in her room, which was actually an old office. Hotch joined us, which was adorable because he was always a sweetheart with Raven. He even wore the tiara Raven gave him.

- "How is my boy wonder?"- Pen asked as she poured a cup of real tea for me. I cut her a short smile and I guess that was enough for her, 'cos she read me right away. - "That bad, eh?"

- "I'm glad he is on his way back home. I've missed him so much."- I whispered and looked at Raven, having a tea party with Hotch. - "And birdie misses him as well."

- "She looks so much like him. She's a tiny carbon copy of her dad."- I chuckled and nodded. I've always said little Raven is exactly like her dad in every single way.

- "Same eyes and wild hair."- I added and Pen smiled.- "I wonder if the next baby will look a little like me."

- "When will you know what you are having?"

- "We have a scheduled check-up next week. I wanna ask the doctor then."

After another half hour, I drove home. We let Garcia get ready for dinner, and I wanted to cook something nice for my husband. His flight was scheduled to arrive at DC at seven, which meant he'd be home after right. Raven and I stopped to get groceries and cooked dinner for Spencer.

Our daughter was incredibly excited to wait up for her dad, after her bedtime. She refused to go to bed until she kissed him welcome back home. My heart melted when I heard her rambling nonstop about all the things she wanted to show her dad. She listed all her dolls, her books, and the drawings she had made during his absence. Raven was honestly hyped waiting for Spencer, which is why when we heard the key in the door, she ran to welcome her dad as fast as her little legs allowed her to run.

- "Daddy!!!"- she yelled and literally threw her arms around him as soon as she saw him. Spencer kneeled and hugged her tight, carrying her in his arms and kissing her chubby cheeks over and over again.

- "I missed you so much, baby girl."

- "I missed you too, Daddy!"- I stared at them with tears in my eyes as my husband looked at me with a big smile.

- "Come here, chipmunk."- he opened his arms and hugged me too, kissing my temple and making me feel at home, finally safe in his arms.

- "Just as promised, we are waiting for you with your favorite dinner."- I announced after kissing his lips softly, hearing Raven arguing we were gross.

- "Chicken tandoori?"

- "Homemade chicken tandoori."- I corrected and watched his smile grow bigger.

- "I missed you so much, ma cherie."

- "I missed you too, honey bunny. Welcome back home."

Spencer's point of view

It took three bedtime stories to put Raven down to sleep. She kept telling me everything she had done during my absence. She remembered everything, down to the t. (Y/N) and I looked at each other, knowing where that could go. We had our suspicions, but we didn't want to run any tests on our daughter just yet. She was only three years old, and she deserved to enjoy her childhood like any other kid would. Like I never did.

After three stories and a long conversation, Raven finally fell asleep. I kissed her forehead and stood up from her bed slowly. (Y/N) held my hand as we walked out of her room and into ours.

- "I can't believe you are finally...-"- she couldn't even finish talking after shutting our bedroom door, because I assaulted her lips. I crushed them with mine and kissed her like I had dreamed of kissing her the entire time I had been away. I don't think I had been far from her for so long before, and I swear, I didn't want to repeat it ever again.

- "Mine."- I whispered as my lips moved from her lips to her neck, biting and sucking to leave a mark. (Y/N) giggled as I did, and then moaned, a sound I could never ever get tired of.

I felt her hands unbuttoning my shirt as we continued kissing. I couldn't take my hands off my wife, and I quickly started getting her naked as well. I stared at her soft skin as I nearly ripped the t-shirt she wore that day, and quickly connected my lips to her skin one more time.

- "I missed you so much."- she whispered as she tangled her fingers in my hair.

- "Trust me, I missed you more."- I groaned and unzipped her pants quickly.

- "Sorry the belly got so big while you were gone..."- I don't know why she felt like she needed to apologize for looking so perfectly mine. My hands moved immediately on her skin. I looked at her eyes as I kneeled in front of her, attaching my lips to her belly.

- "You look perfect, ma cherie."

- "I look round and huge."

- "Mine, all mine, carrying my baby for the world to see."- I made my way down her belly until I reached her underwear, and slipped my fingers underneath the fabric.

- "Spe...-" she mumbled but suppressed any sound biting her lips. She knew we had a little daughter in the next room, and she couldn't make a sound.

- "I got you, ma cherie. Let me make you feel good."- she sat on our bed and I followed her, still down on my knees, and hid my face between her tights, a place I could live in. I kissed her inner thighs and made my way to her underwear, which was just starting to look damp.

- "When you said you were gonna wait for me with my favorite dinner, this was what I had in mind."- I whispered and heard her giggle as I pulled down her underwear slowly and attached my lips to her immediately.

- "God... I missed you."- she whispered and gasped as my tongue reached her most sensitive spot. And I didn't reply, just hummed against her and continued eating her like the starved man I was.

I didn't move from between her legs until I felt her cumming all over my face. And once that happened, I climbed to our bed and kissed her.

- "That was..."- but before my wife could praise me, I moved behind her and kissed her neck as I slowly slipped into her, not saying a single word. (Y/N) made the most beautiful muffled noises as she tried not to be too loud, and I entered her carefully, enjoying every single movement.

- "I thought about you every night I was away. And I realized I can't sleep if you are not with me. I couldn't take you off my mind, not even for a minute."- I increased my peace and bit my lips before I started groaning.

- "I thought I was gonna go crazy without you."- I heard my wife whisper, and my lips attached to her neck immediately. One of my hands was still holding her leg, and the other moved underneath her body, trying to touch as much skin as possible. I craved her warm skin all over me.

- "You have a hold on me no one could ever take away."- I murmured in her ear as the noises of our bodies together filled out you.- "I am yours, ma cherie ."- I added and felt her moan, biting her lips.

- "Mine."- she mumbled as I licked her neck after leaving another mark.

- "All yours. Forever."

I treasured that moment because I had had a very hard couple of weeks away from my family. And I had missed my wife beyond sanity. Nothing prepared me for what I was about to live as soon as I set foot back into the BAU. But it was the case that set the clock for our departure from the FBI.

The following morning, when me and my wife sat around the table in the briefing room, Hotch told us they finally had a lead on the band of hitmen that were after Garcia.

- "Brian Cochran from the NSA. I've placed him on 24/7 lockdown at USP Terre Haute. The network has proven that they can kill anyone, anywhere, anytime, and now that they've targeted Garcia, we can't afford to lose another lead."- Hotch explained, and made a short pause before adding. - "Cochran used one of the hitmen to target DEA supervisor Graff."

- "But we can press him on that to get him to cooperate."- Morgan quickly commented, probably ready to go push that man until giving us all the info he had. But Hotch shook his head and explained.

- "Well, fortunately, that won't be necessary. He had a breakdown in solitary confinement and he was already willing to make a deal."

- "We need to go talk to him."- Rossi suggested, but once again, Hotch shook his head.

- "Garcia and I already did."

- "When?"- my wife asked surprised

- "Last night, after you left."- Pen explained- "We video-conferenced with him. He was limited in what he could tell us about the hit people. He didn't know their names, but he did know all of their areas of expertise."

- "How specific do they get? Most successful hitmen are basically just Swiss army knives of murder."- I asked and my wife chuckled at my analogy.

- "Well, take the O.G. hit guy who got us into this mess, Giuseppe Montolo. Remember him?"- Garcia started explaining.- "He was a genius at making hits look like an accident. The others, depend on what you're looking for. Take the guy that's still out there who's responsible for shooting poor Mr. Graff. He's known simply as the sniper. He can make a T-zone shot from over 2,000 meters."

- "Which means he's ex-military. Not necessarily ours, but he's definitely trained."- Morgan pointed out and we all nodded.

- "So who's number two?"- Tara asked and Garcia quickly answered.

- "That would be the chemist. He works with poison. He specializes in hits that don't leave a trace.

- "He sounds delightful."- Rossi said, staring at the screen.

- "I know, right? I feel they'd be a hit at any party."- (Y/N) added, nodding.- "What about number 3?"

- "Well, that would be the bomber. According to Cochran, he's responsible for this. It's a chemical fire in Tianjin, China."

- "What supposedly happened there?"- (Y/N) asked, watching the scenes on the screen.

- "Apparently a bureaucrat didn't pay his bribe on time."- Garcia whispered, refusing to look at the images.

- "You know that's conspiracy theory garbage."- JJ pointed out, and Hotch immediately replied.

- "But what is credible is Cochran's insistence that he was trained by Mossad. Jack Garrett's following up on leads."

- "That leaves us with number 4, the one with the highest body count of them all."

- "And who's that?"- until this day I regret asking that question.

- "Miss 45."- Pen answered. - "By far one of the most lethal of them all. She is basically a black widow."

- "Just what every bunch needs, some girl power."- (Y/N) added and turned to me with a short smile. I rubbed her stomach as we all heard Rossi's question.

- "How do we get them?"

- "That's why we need the snowman."- the way Garcia said those words made me feel we should have known what she was talking about. But none of us actually did.

- "Great. So who's this Snowman jagoff?"- Rossi asked, frowning.

- "Cochran says he's the I.T. expert. He's the key to the whole network."- Hotch explained.

- "But if he set it up, he's not just gonna tear it down because we ask nicely."- Morgan added. And that was when Hotch dropped the plot twist.

- "He will because he was kidnapped by one of the hitmen and held against his will in a safe house."

- "I wonder how that feels."- Pen whispered and my wife quickly reached for her hand on the table. I knew (Y/N) had spent a lot of time with Garcia while I was gone, not only because she was home alone, but because she knew our friend was clearly going through a very rough path and she needed all the love she could get from her friends.

- "Even if they have him under duress, he's still gonna be impossible to find." - JJ suggested, not being very positive about the whole deal.

- "We will find him with this."- Hotch took what seemed to be a pen from his pocket, but instead, it was a flash drive. None of us said a word 'cos none of us understood what he was talking about. So he explained.

- "This flash drive will give us access to a specific shadow of the Darknet. It came to our possession after we arrested Cochran, and we will use it to localize the safe house."

And so we did.

The following day, we had successfully rescued the snowman, whose name was in fact Barry Winslow, and who ended up being nothing but a poor teenager, lost and forced to work for a hit men's net. We sat around the table with him and tried to get as much information as possible.

- "I can't tell you much about them. It's not like we had a lot of heart-to-heart conversations while they handcuffed me to a computer."- Barry shrugged and looked at us, already defeated, but still willing to cooperate.

- "Do you know any of their names?"- (Y/N) asked him with a warm smile, probably trying to reassure him whatever the answer was, it was ok.

- "No. But I know their bank accounts."

- "How long do you think we have before the other two realize the network's been compromised?"- I asked him-

- "Two days, maybe. They like being independent contractors, so they always work jobs separately. And they rely on me to coordinate all their online traffic."

- "Which I can help fake."- Garcia added and looked at the poor kid.

- "Yeah. We have the facade covered on our end, but they also have back-channel communications that I can't account for. Especially the bomber."- the snowman explained, and Rossi frowned at his words right away.

- "Why him?"

- "I don't know. All I know is when they would rotate watching over me, he never showed."

- "I know why."- JJ added- "He's paranoid. Most explosive experts are. Blow everything up, you live in fear that you're next."

- "We need to find a way to get to the hitwoman."- (Y/N) stated and looked at the team. - "It's the only way to end this whole mess. If we can take her alive, she'll lead us to the bomber."

- "And to do it, we have to give her a target worth coming out of hiding for."- Hotch said, letting us know he had a plan to get her.

- "That means me, doesn't it?"- Garcia whispered and Morgan immediately shook his head.

- "No."- Hotch didn't even hesitate. He just answered right away, not moving a muscle.

- "Sir..."

- "Garcia, that's not gonna happen."- Morgan interrupted her.- "It's too dangerous to leave you out there exposed like that."

- "You have a record of all the kills she was paid for?"- Aaron asked the snowman.

- "I have records of everything."

- "All right. Even a contract killer can have a victimology, a pattern of which she's not aware. We need to find that."

(Y/N)'s point of view

Hotch asked JJ, Spencer, and I to his office that afternoon. Pen had gone through all the targets "Miss 45" had gone after, Spencer and Hotch went through the information, and now they had a plan. A plan I was sure I was gonna hate, only by the worried look in their eyes.

- "These three hits"- Spencer left the files on Aaron's desk and continued talking - "They were all men who wanted to kill their wives."

- "Ok, really can't blame her for doing that."- I mumbled as I took a look at the files, along with Hotch.

- "That's the oldest motivation in the book. Why are they special?"- JJ asked and Spencer explained immediately.

- "She took their money, then killed the men who hired her."

- "All three of them had children."- Hotch pointed out

- "Maybe children are the line hitmen won't cross?"

- "A hitwoman with morals? Seems unlikely."- I refuted JJ's theory as my husband nodded.

- "The chemist and the sniper both performed jobs that involved families. Theoretically, if the price is high enough, a hitman shouldn't have morals. I think these kills are personal to her. Personal enough to risk double-crossing her contract."

- "She is trying to kill someone who hurt her, over and over again."- I added and my husband agreed with me.

- "Maybe something similar happened to her."- Hotch looked at my husband, like knowing what he was about to say. Which he probably knew, in fact.

- "And that's how we get her to come to the table. I pretend to be that kind of client."- Spencer turned to me with an apologetic look in his eyes and JJ didn't even make a sound.

- "What? No! No way!"- I lost it in a second. I was not gonna let my husband be human bate for a serial killer. Not again!

- "Chipmunk, it's the only way we can end this. We have to do it. For Garcia, she needs us."

- "But why you? Why not Morgan?"

- "I'm closer in age, if things don't work, you know she could be more likely to collaborate with a peer."- I stared at Spencer in silence, trying to rearrange the thoughts in my head.

- "How do we know that's gonna work?"- Hotch asked and I opened my eyes. He was in fact considering letting Spencer do that.

- "We don't. It's a calculated risk based on her M.O., which is categorically different than the men."- my husband explained and avoided eye contact with me. He was serious about his suggestions. And I was seriously mad at him for even considering doing something so dangerous.

- "They're cold, clinical, long-distance. She's up close and personal."- JJ added.

- "She knows that she has to be more careful because she actually wants to kill her targets. I'm going to pretend to be a husband who wants his pregnant wife dead."

- "Your pregnant wife wants to kill you right now."- I crossed my arms on my chest, deadpan. - "I can't believe you wanna risk yourself like that!"

- "There will be no risk, chipmunk. I'll just contact her, and set the right meeting spot. A bar or a restaurant we control, so the odds are better of us taking her alive."

- "No."- I replied and bit my lips.

- "Chipmunk, it's our best strategy."

- "But there is one flaw."- Hotch looked at me and at my husband.

- "One? Just one?"- I nearly yelled and opened my eyes, frustrated.

- "We can't let your wife and kid be in danger."- Hotch finished his sentence ignoring my outburst and for once, I wanted to hit him.

- "I am not moving into Penelope's room!"- I argued right away.- "And you are not doing this!"- I added, staring at my husband.

- "Can we talk outside for a moment?"- Spencer walked me to the door and headed to the briefing room in silence. I followed him quietly, holding my 24 weeks belly in a useless attempt to regain my composure. But as soon as Spencer closed the door behind our backs, I lost it and raised my voice.

- "Are you out of your mind?!"

- "Chipmunk...."

- "Why do you always do the same? You put yourself at risk! Do you wanna get hurt? Do you wanna leave me alone?"

- "Ma cherie... No."- he stood in front of me and held both my arms, trying to calm me down.- "Please breathe and hear me out. Nothing is going to happen to me."

- "Of course not! Because you are not going!"- I stated and Spencer sighed, looking right into my eyes. I had to bite my lips not to burst out crying out of frustration right there, but my eyes watered up and betrayed me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

- "(Y/N)..."

- "No, I don't want you to expose yourself like this!"

- "It's the only way to help Garcia, and it's a calculated risk. I know nothing will happen, the team will be there watching my back the entire time."

- "She is a serial killer! And you wanna meet her for dinner!"

- "Look at me, chipmunk."- Spencer moved one of his hands from my arm to my cheek and caressed my skin softly as his other hand rested on my tummy. - "I am not gonna get hurt and nothing bad will happen, I swear."

I took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from falling. Spencer kissed my cheek and didn't say another word for a moment, just trying to comfort me with his presence.

- "I'm scared."- I whispered and Spencer shook his head.- "I know you say there is nothing to worry about, but I am worried all the time. I don't want you to get hurt."

- "I won't, I swear."- I knew that once he was set on doing something, there was no way I could change his mind. - "We have to help Garcia. And I already ran across all the possibilities. This is the plan with the higher statistics to work."

- "Does it have to be you?"- I whispered, my voice barely perceptible. Spencer kissed my lips for a second, rubbing his against mine soft and sweetly, melting me. And when he parted, he nodded.

- "But I'll be home that night, safe and sound, and we'll have a warm bath, maybe a late bite, and Garcia will be free to live her life and go back to her house."

Of course, I wanted to help Penelope. I was just afraid of what could happen to my husband. But I knew there was nothing I could do or say to change his mind.

- "Just don't get hurt, ok?"- I mumbled and Spencer held my chin, raising my face and reaching my lips one more time.

- "As you wish, Mrs. Reid."

Spencer's point of view

Date night with a serial killer was not what I was hoping for that Friday evening. But it was what I had to face. As I got ready to leave, my wife, Garcia, and I did all the research we could on my lethal date. Starting with her name.

- "Foster care records locked, loaded, and searchable."- Penelope announced as she sat in front of the computer on my desk, ready to hunt Miss 45 down.

- "According to the emails she sent me setting up tonight, her name is Cat. So let's assume her name is Catherine."- I said as I tied my tie like my father-in-law taught me to do the day of my wedding.

- "Give me more."- Pen said typing

- "Suspicious death for mom, and her dad most likely went away for manslaughter."- I continued enumerating as my wife stared at me from her desk, where she was sitting in silence.

- "Keep it coming."- Garcia commanded.

- "Rampant abuse. She would have been in a world of pain."

- "Sadly that does not rule out any Catherines."

- "Her first kills were most likely in the foster environment."- (Y/N) suggested and I nodded immediately.

- "Cross-reference all those families the Catherines went into with accidental deaths of foster dads, and focus on those that have multiple abuse complaints leveled against them."

The computer dinged and a picture appeared on the screen. The three of us stared at it in silence for a moment

- "Catherine Adams."- I said and turned to my wife.

- "She is cute."- I heard (Y/N) whisper and I immediately frowned.

- "What?"- her words confused me. I knew she didn't want me to expose myself to any risk, but I never imagined she could be jealous at any level.

- "I said she is pretty."- she whispered and moved to her desk to grab something that ended up being my bottle of perfume. She sprayed me with it and fixed the neck of my shirt.

- "Ma cherie..."

- "You look very handsome."

- "You do know this is not a real date, right?"- somehow it felt necessary to point that out all of a sudden. - "I am not going out with her because I want to."

- "I know."- she replied and looked away from me.

- "Come here."- I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her nose. All the things I wasn't supposed to do at the bullpen. - "You are the only girl I wanna take out on date night, ok?"

- "I know."- she mumbled and looked down at her hands as she fixed my tie.

- "I'll pick you up in a while, ok?"

- "No, I'm coming with you."- she replied immediately.

- "No, you are staying here. This is not up for debate. I am not taking my pregnant wife to the same room with a serial killer."

- "I don't know if you knew this, but that's what we do for a living, Spencer. I am going."

- "I will not be able to focus if I know you are there. You'll be a distraction."- the deadpan stare in my wife's eyes was serious, but I was not gonna change my mind. Thankfully, Hotch walked over and commanded her to stay behind with him and Penelope, following every movement from the restaurant cameras.

- "Adam changed location at the last minute. We can't be too cautious, Reid."- and by Reid, Hotch meant my wife, who was looking incredibly frustrated and annoyed.

- "I'll be back as soon as possible."- I said and kissed her cheek. She sighed and nodded.- "I love you, ma cherie."

- "I love you too, honey bunny."

- "I'll make breakfast for you and Birdie tomorrow morning, so think what you'll have. You can pick hotcakes or waffles."- I said, trying to ease the mood, and (Y/N) cut me a short smile, nodding.

- "Don't forget the rose."- my wife whispered and handed me the flower.

- "Thank you, ma cherie."

That night could only get worse, I could feel it.

I arrived at the restaurant and the hostess walked me to my table. I had made reservations for two under the name of "Spencer." As soon as I sat down, I left the rose next to me on the table and looked around, trying to calm myself down. Looking nervous was ok, I was supposed to be a little nervous if I was meeting a serial killer to get rid of my pregnant wife. Just, how nervous was I supposed to look?

- "Spencer?"- a woman's voice called my name and I quickly turned around to find Cat Adam standing right next to me, with a big smile on her face.

- "Cat."

- "Hi."- her smile only grew as she stared at me. I quickly stood up to shake her hand and chuckled nervously.

- "Hello. Hi. Hi."

- "Nice to finally..."- she opened her arms and tried to hug me and I immediately took a few steps back.

- "Oh...sorry, I have a... a germ thing."- I explained, sounding as apologetic as possible.

- "Oh!"- she moved back and raised her hands in surrender.

- "I'm kind of weird with hu... hugs."- I even stuttered.

- "Sorry."- neither of us said a thing for a few seconds, we just stared at each other, maybe reading each other's body language. I smiled at her, honestly nervous. I've never been much of an actor and right there I was playing the role of my life.

- "Can I sit down?"- Cat asked and giggled as I chuckled and pointed at the armchair next to her

- "Yes, please. Yeah. Of course. Sit down."- and as we both did, and she took off her jacket, we fell into another uncomfortable silence. Which was good, I wanted to show her how nervous and vulnerable I was.

- "First time doing this?"- she asked me a few seconds later, and I rushed to answer.

- "Yeah. I mean, yeah."

- "Yeah, I... I still get nervous, too."- she assured me, trying to be empathic. Note: sociopaths have zero empathy whatsoever. There were no chances she could ever honestly try to make me feel any better.

- "Really, it wasn't until an hour ago that I was like, wait, we've been trading emails back and forth, but I still have no idea what this guy looks like."

- "Hence the..."- I interrupted her speech, pointing at the rose next to her.

- "I know. And then I was like, wait, he's going to bring a red rose, so we need to go to a nicer place, which is why I switched the restaurant last-minute..."- she continued rambling.

- "Not a problem at all."- I assured her, trying to look a little more calm. But honestly, I was very nervous. I know I had to act awkward and nervous, but that's how I felt. That woman sat across from me was a threat to a friend and potentially my family. She had to be put behind bars as soon as possible.

- "And now I need to change and put something nice on for this place, 'cause I was totally underdressed, and my whole wardrobe makes me look like a Kardashian."- I narrowed my eyes as I looked at her and she paused her words.- "You know know who that is, do you?"

- "No, oh, yeah, Robert Kardashian. He got O.J. Simpson off."- I explained quickly. - "You...you don't look like his daughters."

- "Yeah, no, I was making a joke about them."

- "No, it was good. It was a good joke."- I chuckled and smiled, trying to look natural.

- "No, it wasn't.

- "It was funny.

There was a long pause. No one said a thing, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong that night. If she knew who I was if she didn't want to willingly, if she had a partner in the room as I had my own backups. All the possibilities. There was too much at stake to take things lightly.

- "Can we start over?"- Cat asked me, breaking the silence and cutting me a warm smile- "Hi, I'm Cat."

- "Hi, hi, I'm... I'm Spencer."- I chuckled, still looking awkward and nervous, and she nodded.

- "It really is nice to meet you, in person, finally."- she said those words in a sweeter tone of voice, trying to look nonthreatening and honest.

- "It's nice to meet you."- I assured her right away.

- "Tell me a little bit about yourself. Do you really have three Ph. D.s?"

- "Yes. I... yeah, I do, I have three Ph.D.s."

- "What was your favorite book that you read last year?"- Cat continued asking random questions and I instantly replied.

- "Honestly, I've never read a book I didn't love."

- "Tell me about your wife."- and somehow that caught me by surprise. I knew that was what we were going to talk about, but my mind went straight to my real wife. The one that was in fact pregnant with my baby. The one I could never harm.

- "If you don't mind, I'd, uh, I'd rather not talk about her."

- "Might as well get it out in the open, right? That's why we're here. How long have you been married?"

- "Six years."- which was true.

- "When is she due to give birth?"

- "Uh... in a couple of... a couple of months."- and for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking we hadn't actually started working on the nursery yet. My old apartment was getting too small for our growing family.

- "Should we talk about price now, or..."- I leaned in and whispered, making sure it felt like we were talking about a secret.

- "Slow down, tiger. What exactly are we negotiating here?"

- "You know."- I looked around, pretending to be worried someone could hear us.

- "I want to hear you say it."- she answered, almost as a dare. So I moved a little closer and whispered.

- "To have her killed."- and for some reason, my words excited her. She tried not to smile and bite her lower lip as she kept staring at me, probably reading my reaction.

- "Let me see your ring."- she asked me and I looked down at my hand, where the golden band rested. She moved slowly and grabbed my fingers on the table and fidgeted with the ring, staring at it. - "You know what that is? A noose. Only it doesn't kill you all at once. It kills you slowly, day by day. You ever feel that way?"

- "I feel that way all the time."- I whispered and took a deep breath knowing my wife was hearing that entire conversation.

- "Take it off."- Cat commanded and looked straight into my eyes.

- "Why?"

- "As a sign of your commitment. To me."- I hated doing what she asked, but I felt like I had to. So I took the band off and put it in her hand. It wasn't even my real wedding ring, it was a fake one. I didn't want to use mine 'cause it had (Y/N)'s name scripted in it, and our wedding date. It felt way too intimate. And I didn't want to carry anything that might put her or our babies in danger.

- "We have you over her left shoulder. Do you copy?"- I heard Hotch's voice in my ear. I took a quick look at the security camera and nodded. - "All right, all agents stand by. Dr. Reid will give the green light. Don't move until we have it."

But as Hotch organized the team, Cat kept analyzing my fake wedding ring.

- "Twenty karat?"- she asked me and I hummed. - "24k times... six years means this ring should be dinged and nicked. But the sucker is brand-new. You are a liar."

Shit.

I kept my eyes on her and didn't move a facial muscle. That was when I heard the gun click underneath the table and I knew things were not going to go as smoothly as planned. I wasn't going to make it back home in time for dinner and Raven's bedtime. Again.

- "Why are we here, Spencer?"- Cat asked, looking annoyed. And I was glad I could drop the act.

- "We're here because you belong to a network of four hitmen who've been operating in the shadows of the Internet. You're known as Miss 45. My team and I have been hunting for months, and I knew that if I boxed you in, I could arrest you with as little resistance as possible."

My voice was just a whisper in the room, but I knew she could hear every single word loud and clear.

- "Your team being the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI?"- Cat questioned with a cocky smile. My heart skipped a beat when I realized she knew who we were. That meant she knew us all.

- "You guys are good. You're the only one that got close to us. But we got kind of close to you, too, didn't we?"- Cat kept her eyes glued to me as she said - "Hi, Penelope."

If she knew who we were, she knew who I was married to. And that was the only thing that raised my heart that minute. That woman had to pay for what she had done.

- "Do you know why I'm so good at my job?"- she asked, proudly.

- "Because you kill without compunction or remorse."- I replied without hesitation.

- "That only gets a girl so far in life. No, it's because I think through every potential outcome and then I plan accordingly. You see, I didn't walk into your trap. You walked into mine."

(Y/N)'s point of view

I paced in Garcia's office as I watched my husband being basically set up with a delusional serial killer who knew exactly who he was, and why he was there and had a gun pointing at him underneath the table. I felt nauseous just to think of all the bad things that could happen to him.

Neither Hotch or Penelope said a word. The two of them kept staring at the screen. And I, for once, couldn't even watch.

- "Where's your head, Spencer? What are you thinking about?"- I heard Cat's annoying voice talking to my husband.

- "I was thinking about entropy."- he replied. Always the smartest person in the room. - "It's the thermodynamic measure of the degradation of matter and energy in the universe. To put it another way..."- there was a pause that forced me to stare at the screen. Cat had scooted over in the booth and she was not basically touching Spencer, looking for his gun in his clothes. Her hands were all over him. I wanted to puke.

- "Good evening."- a waiter interrupted them, and for a moment, I had hope. But Cat dismissed him in a second.

- "Hi, uh, you know what? We've been having so much fun getting to know one another, we'll let you know when we're ready, ok?"

And my husband couldn't even move.

- "Now that we got that out of the way, will you do me a favor and tell Blondie McBlonderson over there at the bar to disappear."

- "What?"- the question popped out of my lips as I moved closer to the screen to take a better look. - "How did she know that was one of our agents?"- Hotch turned to me and raised an eyebrow, reminding me I had to stay quiet, 'cos everything I said, my husband heard, and he had to remain calm. I couldn't freak him out.

- "JJ, stand down."- Hotch commanded and I turned to him, ready to slap him.

- "Are you serious?"- and he didn't reply. Instead, he just stared at me and I bit my lips.

- "Thanks for playing, sweetie."- Cat waved at JJ as she passed by their table and Garcia held my hand, probably to stop me from losing it. I wanted to yell at JJ that she had been stupid, too obvious sitting there, alone at the bar, staring at my husband the entire time. She hadn't been subtle. It's like she wanted to get caught. But I didn't say a word, thankfully.

- "If she learns how many agents we have outside, she'll start shooting. Dave, get ready to take her out."- Hotch instructed and I watched Rossi on another screen sipping his drink in approval. - "Reid, do not let her get up from the table."

- "All right, you're in charge."- Spencer said in a very low and serious voice, as Cat stared at him with pure hate coming from her eyes - "Tell me what you want and I'll see if I can get it here for you."

- "Anything I want?"

- "Anything you want."- he assured her.

- "Like a million dollars in unmarked bills, maybe a plane to Aruba?"

- "Is that what you want?"

- "And you'll say you'll bring it here, but the real plan is to distract me from what is, I'm sure, an impressive law enforcement response just outside that door. Is that the plan?"- something bothered me. Something else, besides the entire situation. Something made things even worse at that point. And at that minute I realized, Cat Adams was flirting with my husband. And he had no idea what was going on.

- "That's the plan."- he even cut her a little charming smile, which I knew was going to encourage her to continue.

- "Ok, let's talk, but let's talk about something interesting, at least. Tell me about me."- bitch was the classic narcissist sociopath. A part of me knew I should be sorry for her, but I just hated her even more.

- "You? You're a black widow hitwoman. You specialize in seduction and you're patient."- Spencer started his speech, eyes glued to her. - "You learn everything you can about the men you're hired to kill, physically, psychologically, and emotionally because you want them in as compromised a position as possible so they don't see it coming when you pull the trigger."

- "And when I do it really well, they pull the trigger themselves."- that bitch was beyond crazy. - "Give me your phone."- she asked and Spencer raised an eyebrow.

- "Why?"

- "Because I know what I want now. I want to play a game with you. You like games?"

- "I do."- my husband answered calmly.

- "Do you win?"

- "I always win."- he didn't even hesitate, and that cunt was staring at him like he was a three-course dinner, and she was ready to fucking feast.

- "Give it to me."- and Spencer complied. - "Ok, here's my game. You have thirty minutes to answer every question I ask. And if you lie, I'll know. Because I've spent the past ten years of my life studying men and their lies before I kill them. Do you believe me?"

- "I do."

- "That was true. You're getting this. Now, here's how we'll know who wins at the end of thirty minutes. If you win, you'll drag me out of here in handcuffs. But if I win, you will escort me out like a gentleman, to make sure I exit safely. What do you say, Spencer? Think you can win this one?"

Spencer moved closer to her across the table and whispered loud and clear.

- "Considering everything you've put Garcia and so many people through, you're going to have to shoot me in the face before you walk out of here."

- "That would make (Y/N) really angry at me, and it's not safe for her to get mad if she is already six months pregnant, right?"

Garcia turned to me with her mouth open as I stared at the screen not believing my own ears. In all the years we had been working with the FBI that was the very first time a serial killer had investigated me and my personal life before we even got to them.

Spencer didn't move a muscle, he just stared at her looking unimpressed.

- "What do you want to ask me?"- Spencer questioned as if her words hadn't meant a thing to him. Good. Never show a serial killer they have any power over you.

- "How you found me, of course. A professional learns from her mistakes."- that cocky bitch.

- "We got our big break in the case at the end of last year. I didn't learn how big until I came back from some time off."

- "Why'd you take time off?"- oh no...

- "Irrelevant. We got to work a few days ago and our team chief had some new information on the case..."

- "Stop."- Cat interrupted him, looking annoyed.

- "What?"

- "You didn't tell me why you took time off."

- "It's not relevant."

- "That's not the game. The game is you answer every question I ask."- my husband stared at her as if she was just wasting his time. Which I think got her angrier. - "Is it a secret?"

- "No."

- "Is it dirty?"

- "No."

- "Then tell me."- she basically begged, making my blood boil.

- "It's not important to your story."

- "Out of curiosity, is it me you don't want to tell or the people listening in? Does your wife know why you had to take some time off?"

- "Of course I know, bitch."- I whispered and clenched my fist. Spencer didn't seem affected by her words, one more time, and just looked at the timer on his phone and asked:

- "Is this really how you want to spend your 30 minutes?"

- "Yes."- Spencer didn't move and Cat finally gave in. - "No. Ok, so you were saying you showed up for work that morning and..."

- "We learned that someone unexpectedly decided to talk."

- "And who would that be?"

- "Brian Cochran from the NSA."

Spencer continued explaining to Cat Adams how we had managed to get to her, after all those months, and she seemed to be hypnotized by him. She didn't look away, she didn't move from her chair. She was drooling, looking at him as he spoke. Great. Just what I needed, a psycho killer crushed on my husband.

- "That only left us with the fourth killer, the one with the highest body count of them all."- Spencer explained and Cat smiled.

- "Me."

- "Yes."

- "Wow, that was really impressive."- Cat smiled ironically- "Yeah, the way you just made all those brilliant deductions with all that information that was just handed to you on a silver platter. Quick question, are you guys really profilers or are you just lucky? Because this, what I'm about to say is profiling."- she cleared her throat and smugly said: - "The reason you took time off from work was to deal with a fight with your wife."

- "No."

- "The death of a parent, then."

- "No."- there was a slight hesitation in Spencer's voice, and that bitch noticed.

- "Ah, hello, I'm getting close. It's mom or dad in the billiard room with the candlestick."- Spencer deadpanned her, but that seemed to make her incredibly happy. I hated that bitch more and more with every passing second.

- "Oh, you're mad at me, aren't you?"- she teased him.

- "Not even a little bit."- Spencer whispered.

- "Yes, you are, I can tell."

- "No offense, but you're not really worth getting angry at."- Cat didn't reply, she just stared at him right in the eyes in silence for a moment.

- "Please, let me kill her."- I murmured to Hotch, but he didn't say anything.

- "So you figured out what the four of us did, and then what?"- Cat continued asking. That was gonna be the longest thirty minutes of my life.

- "We profiled that you operated as spokes on a wheel. Somehow it had to be centralized, how you got jobs, who paid you. Somebody did all that for you."

- "You found the Snowman, didn't you?"

- "We did. Thanks to the information we got from Cochran and some help from Hotch."

- "I'm confused. What just happened there?"- Cat asked, and Spencer explained what we had done in the last couple of days.

- "When we arrested Cochran, we found a flash drive, one that gave us access to a specific shadow of the Darknet, one we didn't even know existed. Garcia used it to find the website that Snowman set up for all of you. Once we had the website, we had geography, specifically, the safe house you were keeping him in. So we waited until the shift change when we knew we could take two of you down at once."

- "Well, well, well, you took the chemist and the sniper out of commission, huh?"

- "Did you know?"

- "I knew something was off. They didn't bid on some contracts. And this isn't the kind of job where you get to take time off to be with your... mother? Is it your mom? It's gotta be your mom.

- "Isn't this bitch going to let it go?"- I whispered, trying not to get caught by Hotch's microphone.

- "Why'd you take time off from the FBI?"- Cat asked my husband one more time.

- "I'm not gonna tell you."

- "Spencer, why did you take time off from the FBI?"

- "You can ask me as many times as you want, and you can continue to waste your time, but I'm still not gonna tell you."

- "Then you're cheating, and I don't like cheaters."

- "You don't get everything you want just because you're pointing a gun at me under a table. You're not the first killer to point a gun at me. You're not even the first woman to point a gun at me."- Spencer cut her a short smile and simply added - "Sorry."

But somehow, I felt that was exactly what Cat wanted him to say. She was enjoying her time alone with him a little too much.

- "You're really gonna take this all the way, aren't you?"- she asked, very relaxed sitting on the sofa across from my husband. I hated every second Spencer had to spend with her.

- "Yeah."

- "So am I."

- "Dave, go."- Hotch commanded, and Rossi quickly moved from his table.

- "Look at my face. Does it look like I'm bluffing?"

- "I know you're not bluffing."- Spencer replied as she moved closer to him and sat right next to him.

- "I'm gonna ask you one more time. Before you say no, I want you to consider something."- and that was all we heard, 'cos she grabbed Spencer's tie and covered the mic.

- "She muffled the mic!"- Garcia gasped as we heard the static in the room. - "We lost audio."

All we could do was stare at the screen, waiting to see what happened. Cat was still sitting right next to my husband and he, for a second, seemed defeated. What was she saying?

- "Rossi, stand down."- that was the next thing we heard, and I felt a bucket of cold water running down my back.- "Please."- Spencer added and turned to David, almost apologetically. Rossi didn't say a thing, he just did as asked, and walked out of the room.

- "My mom has schizophrenia, and the doctor has changed her medication, which seemed to agitate her, and so I went to the treatment center to help her."- Spencer explained quickly, to get that conversation over with. I knew he didn't like talking with many people about our family issues, especially about his mother. That's why that conversation was especially hard for him.

- "That's it?"- and Cat was clearly disappointed.

- "That's it."

- "You just risked your life over mommy's pills?"

- "It's the truth."- but Cat didn't reply. She stared at him, trying to read him and see what else he was hiding.

- "It's part of the truth. You're holding something back. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna penalize you by adding 10 minutes. And keep in mind that the only reason you're not dead right now is because I did learn something important."

- "Oh, really? What's that?"

- "Your backup. I flushed them out. It's just you and me now."

- "Guess again, bitch."- Tara whispered, making me smile as she and Morgan toasted at a table on the other side of the restaurant. My husband would never be alone with that psycho.

Spencer's point of view

I knew (Y/N) was having a hard time dealing with what was going on that night. That's why I wanted to end that situation as soon as possible. But of course, Cat wasn't going to make things easy. She kept asking about my time off the bureau. And I honestly didn't want to tell her 'cause I was already having trouble being there. It felt like my personal life was in danger around that woman. That she could take any piece of information and use it against me at any time.

But right there, in the moment, I had to give her what she was asking, to make her think she was in control. And what she wanted was to know how we had got her.

- "My unit chief agreed with the plan, but he thought there was one flaw."- I finished talking and she quickly replied to my words with an annoying smile.

- "You. You're the flaw. You're married and your wife is pregnant. You can't keep your head cold under those stressing factors."

- "I'm the person on my team who's the closest to your age, and I knew that if I lost control of the situation, you'd be more likely to negotiate with a peer."

- "You have zero control here. None. I outflanked you from the beginning."- I chuckled at those words and simply shook my head.

- "Some of your moves were pretty obvious."- I needed to make her see she wasn't as special as she thought she was.

- "Such as?"

- "Such as showing up armed. Such as changing the venue at the last moment."- I enumerated.

- "I needed a restaurant full of innocents in case this was a trap."

- "If you really suspected this was a trap, then why show up at all? Even when you first laid eyes on me, from the bar, from outside, from wherever you were, you should have seen through me and kept on moving, but you didn't. You couldn't. Because you can't get to the man you really want to hurt, so you need to hurt any man who reminds you of him."

- "That's kind of boilerplate psychology, isn't it? I'm just another girl with daddy issues.

- "You'd be surprised how many killers do what they do because of their parents."- I paused and waited for her reaction. But there wasn't any. - "If it's so boilerplate, why don't we test that theory? How hard did you look for him?"

- "Very hard."

- "And how disappointed were you when you realized that you would never find him? You needed some other outlet for your rage, and for a while, this worked, but it also tripped you up. Can I tell you a little secret? Everything eventually falls apart. The trick is accepting when it's over."

The alarm rang. Time was up. Her silly game had come to an end and she had to surrender peacefully and walk out of that restaurant with me. Just that I knew she wouldn't come easily.

- "Except it ain't over, is it?"- she asked with a crazy look in her eyes.

- "Do you really think I'm just gonna let you walk out of here?"- I raised an eyebrow as I stared at her.

- "You profiled so much about me, except you forgot to ask the most important question. Why would I make you sit here for 30 minutes?"

- "Because you're stalling."

- "Then you don't know me at all. Did you guys show up here without an escape plan? Or is that what just another girl with daddy issues does? Maybe if you hadn't fallen victim to your own gender bias, and, yes, all men have gender bias, even you, Dr. Reid, would have recognized that your entire strategy was based on one faulty detail. Can you see it?

- "You're not here alone."

- "And my partner? Less paranoid than you think."- her words gave me cold chills.

- "You planted a bomb in the building."- but she just smiled innocently.

- "I didn't. My job was to keep your entire team focused on us, so he could do what he does best."

- "There are innocent people here."- I had never been so glad my wife had to stay back in Quantico, 'cos if she had been there that night, I could have lost it. I may have even let Cat go.

- "Yes, there are. So let me remind you what we're playing for. Not only will I walk out of here, but you will make sure I leave safely. And from where I'm sitting, it looks like I've won."

I only had one chance to make things right. I couldn't let Cat Adams out of that restaurant, for the sake of Penelope and my own family. I knew, I felt it in my guts, that she would never forgive me for setting her up, she would seek revenge against me and my loved ones. It had to end that night.

- "You need to pay attention to this part. I'm going to tell you the terms of my victory. I want you to move all of your backups away from this building. If I walk out of here and I see one cop, I will incinerate us all."

- "I can't do that."- I tried to explain, but it was useless.

- "Spencer..."

- "It's not me. What you're asking takes time."- so she leaned in closer, grabbed,–))(65+ my mic and spoke directly to the mic.

- "This is to whoever's in charge. Unless you guys want to be responsible for the biggest FBI disaster since Waco, you will back off now."- then, she sat down correctly and cut me a smug smile.- "Watch this."

We waited for a few minutes in silence. I looked around the room at all the people eating dinner, not even a single worry about what was going around them. Their lives were all in my hands, and I only had one chance to save us all.

- "Look at that. There they go."- Cat commented as the waitress started walking around the room, asking every customer to go calmly.

- "All we want to do..."- I started explaining, but she interrupted me.

- "Minimize the collateral damage. I get it. I'm not mad. It'll give me the cover I need to slip out. I just need to know it's clear, so do me a favor and tell your boss that nobody leaves until it's safe for me to."

- "Reid, perimeter agents are pulling back. You have to let her go."- Hotch whispered in my ear, but I refused to follow that instruction.

- "Well?"- Cat raised an eyebrow and waited for my reply.

- "Repeat, all agents, do not engage or pursue until the bomb is defused."- Hotch commanded, but I remained silent, sitting there, rearranging my thoughts.

- "Spencer..."- Adams insisted, getting annoyed.

- "You can leave."- I whispered and she quickly started moving from her seat. - "But you won't."- I said as she stopped walking and turned to look at me.

- "I'm sorry?"

- "Double or nothing. You need to sit back down."- I suggested and Cat stared at me, not believing my words.

- "Reid, what are you doing?"- Hotch asked, and I'm sure I heard my wife arguing at the back.

- "Wow, now you're stalling."- Cat said with a mocking tone of voice.

- "You played your trump card, but I have one, too."- she stared at me in silence, considering her options.

- "Thanks for dinner. I had fun."- and right after they had turned around and started walking away from me, I said.

- "I found your father."- and she immediately stopped walking. She stood there, considering my words, and probably trying to find a reason to leave anyway. Until her curiosity was stronger than her determination, and she turned to question me.

- "No, you didn't.

- "Look at my face. Am I bluffing?"- I simply stared at her with the most serious expression on my face- "I'll tell you where he is. But you need to sit back down and listen to the rest of my story."

- "No. Tell me now or I'll..."- but I cut her off, already tired of that whole situation.

- "Detonate the bomb? You're not gonna do that, Cat, because then you won't learn anything. You said you were good at your job because you think through every outcome. Well, guess what? So do I."- she didn't move for a moment. I could read the struggle on her face. Until she gave up, and sat again in front of me.

- "All right. Finish the story."

- "To prepare for this dinner, I had to learn everything about you, starting with your real name. Catherine Adams. Daughter of Daniel Adams, who did in fact leave the country in 1987 but returned in 2012. Based on confidential records in rehabs and sober living houses, which in turn pointed us to flophouses and soup kitchens. He couldn't put 24 hours together sober. And you can probably imagine my surprise when I discovered that he actually lives right here in D.C.

- "Where?"- she demanded to know, the urgency in her voice letting me know I was hitting the right spot.

- "It's not that simple. He was in bad shape when I found him. I showed him your picture and asked if we could talk about you. I needed to know what had happened, and if he could give me any information about you. But he couldn't."

- "He didn't remember me?"- Cat sounded insulted and hurt.

- "The alcoholism shredded his brain. I'm sorry."- I could relate to her, I knew what it meant to know your own family couldn't remember you. But I couldn't really feel sorry for her, considering the hell she and her team had put Garcia through.

- "You're not sorry. Sorry is what people say when they don't understand."- she paused and stared at me like she could actually read me. Which I didn't like one bit. - "Wait. Your mother, tell me."- I hesitated, I didn't know if I should answer that question with the truth, but if I didn't, if she felt I was bluffing, there were some serious chances the entire building would end up in flames. So I did what I had to do, even though I didn't like it.

- "Is... is this part of the game?"- I questioned her, thinking about all the people listening on the other side of my microphone.

- "No. The game's over."

She was dead serious, and I couldn't really hide anymore. It was my last chance to make sure things went down smoothly. So I answered with complete honesty.

- "When I looked at her medical chart, it didn't make any sense. The medication that they gave her should have been helping, but I couldn't figure out what was making her so angry. So, I went to see her. The moment I walked into her room, I saw it. For three seconds... She didn't know who I was. I had her tested that morning, and I found out that night. That she had early-onset of dementia. Most likely Alzheimer's."

- "Did you test yourself?"- Cat asked immediately. I still don't know if she felt any kind of empathy for me, but her eyes were locked into mine. - "No, you didn't. You were too scared."

- "Did you know?"- I heard Penelope asking someone I assumed was my wife. (Y/N)'s voice on the other side whispered yes as I continued looking down at my hands.

- "I thought I dodged a bullet when I turned thirty and didn't have a schizophrenic break like her, but this is somehow bigger and scarier because I can actually see it happening. All the memories that we used to share are just dying. I can't stop it. I can't help her. All I can do is find people that I can help."

I was sharing way too much during that dinner. And all because I needed to find a way for Cat to relate to me, to make her weak, call her bluff, and lock her behind bars.

- "Is that really why you showed up tonight? To help me? Do you know how many men have told me that they wanted to help me? How do you think that worked out for them?"

I couldn't reply 'cause I all heard at that minute was JJ announcing Cat had armed the bomb, and they were all trying to find a way to get everybody out there as quick as possible. All I could do was try to gain more time.

- "You're right. You don't need my help. You don't need anyone's help. You are completely in control."- but as soon as I spoke those words I saw Morgan and Tara struggling with a woman at the bar who I could guess was Cat's partner, the bomber. And before I could react, I felt a gun against my temple, as Cat grabbed me and forced me to walk.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Watching my husband being held basically hostage by a serial killer who had a gun against his head was probably one of the scariest things I faced working with the FBI. What I hated the most that day was knowing I wasn't even in the same building with him. And there was nothing I could do to help him.

Garcia held my hand tight as we stared at the screen. Cat Adams was so tiny next to him, and yet, he couldn't do anything to defend himself but try to get in her head.

- "FBI. Everybody stay calm, please."- Morgan said from the other side of the room as he held his gun out and kept his eyes locked on Adams. The only thing that kept me sane at that moment was knowing Morgan would do anything and everything to keep my husband safe.

- "We're gonna be smart about this and talk it out. Aren't we, Cat?"- Tara asked her as she cuffed the bomber.

- "That's up to you."- Adam replied with a threatening tone.

- "Get everyone out of here."- Spencer basically begged as he stared at Morgan and Lewis in front of him. She commanded the civilian to get out quickly and she took the bomber out herself. But Morgan remained there.

- "Morgan, you, too."- Spencer added.

- "I'm not going anywhere."- a part of me sighed relieved when I heard Derek's reply. He moved closer to Cat, pointing his gun at her head the entire time.

- "Guess we're right back where we started. You and me with a gun."- I hated the way Cat looked at my husband, 'cos though I'm certain there was a part of her who knew she was already doomed, she was in fact enjoying her time with him.

- "Reid, it's time."- Morgan commanded, but Spencer shook his head.

- "No."

- "We don't have a choice. We have to do it."- Derek was serious and Cat got immediately curious.

- "Do what?"

- "Morgan, shut up."- my husband begged, but Derek didn't listen.

- "There's one thing he hasn't told you yet."

- "That's not true. He's lying. Don't listen to him!"- Spencer was scared and freaked out as Cat turned to him nearly offended.

- "What haven't you told me?!"

- "Nothing. I told you... nothing! Nothing!"

- "What don't I know?"- Cat asked Morgan and he simply answered.

- "We brought your father here."- I knew they were lying, her father wasn't there. Spencer tried to find him, but it was a dead end. So Morgan and my husband were putting out a show for her, and all I could hope for was that she fell for it.

- "Here? He's here?"- Cat was hurt and shocked. Was it because she couldn't believe we had found him? Or was it because she couldn't find him herself?

- "He's right outside."- Derek continued talking, his gun not moving from her head. - "Reid thought he needed every bargaining chip he could get."

- "Morgan, I'm begging you, don't. Don't."- Spencer begged for him to stop talking, but Morgan didn't pay attention.

- "Every bargaining chip he could get to convince you to do the right thing."

- "How is this the right thing?"- Cat asked. She was nervous, clearly the thought of being close to her father had an immediate effect on her.

- "Your father killed your mother. And there's no statute of limitations on murder, so you really need to think about your options right now. You shoot him, I will kill you. Or if you surrender, you will live to testify against your father."- Morgan showed his cards.

- "That's not good enough."

- "We can arrange it for the two of you to drive into custody together, and then you can remind him of who you are."- Cat eyes shone at those words, but Spencer argued immediately.

- "If you give her this, she wins. Don't do it."

- "Kid, I am trying to save your life. Now let me do that."- Morgan was serious. A beeping outside caught their attention. - "They're bringing him in right now."

- "You're really upset about this, aren't you?"- Cat stared at Spencer, who looked in fact affected by the whole situation, but didn't reply to her. Instead, Morgan continued talking.

- "This is what you wanted, isn't it, a chance to finally hurt the man who deserves it?"

- "They all deserve it."- Cat clarified.

- "He deserves it the most."- Morgan made his point and Adams took a minute to consider her options.

- "Only if Spencer escorts me out."- I hated the way she pronounced his name.

- "Deal."- my husband whispered, annoyed and Cat finally dropped her gun.

I swear, I let out a breath I never realized I was holding, and stared at Spencer handcuffing Cat and walking out of the restaurant. I looked at Garcia and she had tears in her eyes.

- "Hotch?"- Morgan said to the mic.

- "Yeah."

- "We are coming out."- I hugged Penelope immediately and felt her sobbing against me as Hotch moved closer to us and put a hand on her shoulder.

- "You want to go home?"- he whispered and she nodded, crying.

- "Let's get your things packed up and get a celebratory drink, ok?"- I offered her and she chuckled.

- "You can't drink, munchkin."

- "You are gonna have to drink for me, then."

Spencer called me ten minutes later. He was in the car with Morgan on their way back from the case.

- "Hey chipmunk. How are you?"

- "I'm ok. You?"

- "Just tired."- he whispered and sighed. There was a lot more going on in his head, but I knew he couldn't share it at the moment, and I was not going to push him to say anything.

- "I'm gonna drive Pen to her house."

- "Morgan's"- Garcia corrected me as she grabbed one of her bags and started walking. I quickly followed her, carrying another bag with her things. - "Savannah texted me, she has celebratory drinks for us."

- "Ok, I'm driving her to Morgan's. If you are with Derek, wanna meet there and go home?"

- "Yes, that sounds like a good plan."- neither of us said a thing for a moment. I whispered I loved him and got into the elevator with Garcia.

- "How is he?"- Pen asked when she noticed I was putting the phone back into my pocket.

- "Tired. Probably upset, she forced him to face her mother's disease in front of all of you."

- "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)."

- "Thank you. Let's focus on the good things that happened today. That psycho is finally locked and you are safe to go home one more time. I'm sure Sergio is excited to have you back"

- "I miss him. And my plants! I just can't wait to be home the entire weekend, clean the place, and enjoy my space."

- "I'm so glad you are finally going home."

- "Me too. Who is taking care of my Birdie tonight by the way?"

- "She is at my mother's. We didn't know how this was going to go, so we thought it was better to take her there and have a "nana and Birdie" sleepover. My dad was supposed to hang out with them for a while."

- "I love how they manage to co-grandparent her so well."- I chuckled at Garcia's comment and nodded.

- "Me too. I wish they were this civil when I was growing up, though."

- "Come on! at least you know they won't traumatize Birdie."

- "No, I'm guessing that's our job as parents."- I joked and walked to my car. Garcia followed me quickly, and in a few minutes, we were on our way to Morgan's.

Spencer's point of view

We got out of the car and walked to Morgan's house after a quiet drive. I had called my wife, and I could tell by the tone of her voice that she knew exactly what was going on with me. I also called Sofia to find out how Raven was doing. I was feeling somehow paranoid after that evening. I knew Cat was locked, but I couldn't shake off the thought of her hurting my family.

- "You want to come in, decompress a bit?"- Morgan asked suddenly, and stopped walking as we stood in the middle of his front yard.

- "I'm good. We are probably just gonna go home."- he nodded and stared at me, most likely trying to find the words to say what he wanted to say.

- "That was an intense case."- Morgan whispered and I chuckled. Intense was a simple way to call it. I had another dozen words that were harder than it.

- "Yeah. It's over. Network's gone."- I tried to focus on that, but I knew my friend was not going to let it go.

- "Yeah. Reid, that medical research that Savannah gave you, was that..."- and I simply nodded.

- "Yeah."

- "You are gonna get yourself tested, aren't you?"

- "One of the data points that her research told me about was age. I'm too young to display the chromosomal signs, so I'm just gonna have to learn to live not knowing."

I could tell Morgan wanted to tell me everything was going to be ok, but he didn't get a chance, because the front door of his house opened and one very drunk Garcia walked out, followed by (Y/N) and Savannah.

- "Oh, my God!"- Garcia opened her arms and stumbled all the way to our side in her huge heels.

- "Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is happening right now?"- Morgan questioned her, surprised to find her in such a state so quickly.

- "You're what's going on. Right now is what's."- Garcia looked at me and I couldn't help but start chuckling- "You are here. Do you know what's happening right now? It is, it is done. The Dirty Dozen is done! Yes, done!

I'm in it!"

- "How much did she have?"- Morgan asked his girlfriend as I felt my wife wrapping her arms around me in silence. I hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head as I heard her sighing. She was my home and my peace, and I was finally happy 'cause I was with her.

- "She started out with Jaeger."- Savannah explained and Morgan wide opened his eyes, shocked,

- "Jaeger?! Ok...."- Derek chuckled and stared at Garcia, who hugged him and repeated over and over how much she loved him until she saw me one more time.

- "And you! I love you so much! You two make such beautiful babies!!"- I heard my wife giggling as Garcia turned to Savannah and continued spreading her love. - "And you, I should be jealous of you because you're so hot. But I'm not. I'm not. I promise you I'm not. I'm not. I promise. No, I'm not"- Pen looked at us and tried to convince us all. - "'Cause you know what? All I feel in here is love. I just... I am feeling, I'm full of love. So much love. I'm wearing too many clothes."

- "Shit! Garcia, don't get naked!"- my wife argued immediately as Penelope started walking back into the house, trying to take off her sweater.

- "I got this!"- Savannah announced as she quickly followed Garcia back into the house.

- "I'm gonna get my things."- (Y/N) whispered and kissed my cheek.

- "You sure you don't want to reconsider?"- Morgan joked as she pointed inside the house and I just laughed.

- "I think we are ok. (Y/N) should get some rest and I really just want to go home."- there was a pause as I looked inside and saw my wife hugging Garcia one more time, as Savannah held a bottle of water, probably trying to convince Garcia to drink it.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan said and looked at me- "Can I tell you something?"

- "Yeah."- but instead, he just took a step closer and hugged me. - "I just, uh..."

- "Yeah."- I whispered and nodded.

- "You know?"

- "I know. I know."- I hugged him back and felt the tears falling from my eyes. I know it was hard dealing with feelings sometimes, so it felt good to know Morgan and I both knew how much we meant to each other.

- "Good. Because I mean it."- he tapped on my back a few times and let me go, but kept his eyes on me.- "I'll see you Monday."

(Y/N) stared at the scene from the porch and waited until Morgan started walking to the house to walk toward me. She opened her arms and hugged him as well, kissing his cheek. I always assumed she thanked him for taking care of me. And I always felt he had my back. He was my brother. Always had and always will be.

- "Come on, honey. Let's go home."- my wife whispered and held my hand. And I meant it when I said she was my home.   

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[sakurapika]

🧧🎊Reviewing New Year Sale Outfits in Twisted Wonderland: 2025 Edition🎍🎉

Last year, I rambled about how much I love playing TWST around New Year, or oshogatsu (��正月), as it is the biggest holiday of the year for my family and for many people living in Japan. The New Year Sale event combines many of my favorite things: tradition, clothing, and the cast of TWST!

So, this year, I am making another post to admire the new, elaborate outfits, and we can admire the details together!

Just as a heads-up: this post features spoilers for the upcoming JP event. If you're looking for my review on the new Rook, Trey, Jade, and Ortho cards for the upcoming English sever event, they are in the post I made last year.

Malleus Draconia (SSR)

I'm so happy that they made a card for Malleus before the Year of the Dragon has officially ended!

This has to be one of my favorite new cards in the whole game. I've always been a huge fan of historical and fantasy dramas. Compared to the other boys, who are dressed in more modern versions of kimono, Malleus has a very antiquated appearance, and it would really make him stand out among others.

His outfit resembles the clothing that men wore in the Heian Period, like in the image below (source here). A lot of Japanese stories regarding yokai and mythical creatures comes from this time period (like Onmyoji, both the practice and the setting of the game), so it suits Malleus very well. I hope to see more historical outfits for Malleus in the future!

Black was usually associated with government officials, while I think princes wore something more colorful. Seeing Malleus wearing a different color, though, is like seeing a tiger without stripes!

I'm really excited to read about his adventures in retail. How will this mythical, revered prince deal with overly-dramatic customers this holiday season??? We'll have to stay tuned!

Overall, I rate this outfit a 12 zodiac animals/10.

Jack Howl (SSR)

I know he's a wolf, but doesn't Jack get cold? He's not even wearing a sweater...

I like the fur jacket (?) he is wearing, though. It reminds me of Sebek's jacket from the New Year Sale event in 2023. I know that Deuce wore something different, but wouldn't it be cool if all the first-years were matching in some way?

The sleeveless turtleneck and the gloves are A LOOK, though. I also like his striped hakama and the decoration in his hair.

Honestly, I would love to have Jack as my coworker. Since his duo is with Floyd, I wonder how he's going to fare...

Anyway, 12/10 for Jack as well.

Floyd Leech (SR)

Last year, I was a really big fan of the outfit they gave Jade, so I am naturally a big fan of Floyd's outfit as well. I've always liked how the artists have managed to distinguish the two brothers while giving them similar outfits. Here, they've swapped the colors of their haori and their kimono.

His kimono-scarf-hat combo, which combines Western and Japanese elements, are very reminiscent of the Taisho Era.

Now I have to imagine Floyd and Jade traveling together as door-to-door salesmen, selling counterfeit kitchenware that explode confetti in your face instead of heating up the pork cutlet you bought at the convenience store.

But, unfortunately, they're such a convincing duo that you might just have to take those appliances anyway...

Rating: 11/10 (like his brother, lol).

Jamil Viper (SR)

Now that the Year of the Dragon is coming to a close, we are ready to welcome in the Year of the Snake.

Part of why I love this event so much is seeking how the artists work with the usual kimono silhouette and alter it to match the vibe of each character, reflecting their tastes and backgrounds. I've seen people wear hoodies with kimono before, and I'm honestly not surprised to see Jamil wearing one himself. The yellow belt from the Scarabia uniforms being used as an obi is also a nice touch.

There's also a lot to be said about how Jamil's face is partly hidden, with long, drapey sleeves, and how his outfit consists of mostly dark colors, while Kalim's outfit in the first New Year event is primarily red with the sleeves rolled up. I'm excited to collect the fanart of them together.

In general, I'm glad that they've given Jamil long sleeves. I've always imagined that it's cold at NRC, and in a desert like at Scarabia, people need to protect their skin from sun exposure, so the Scarabia uniforms have always low-key bothered me a little.

Given that the New Year Sale event has always been a competition between teams, I wonder how the story will play out between the two teams. Between Malleus-Jamil and Jack-Floyd, we have some pretty strong contenders. (Of course, I know Sam is probably going to give both teams the same rewards, but maybe the story will throw a curveball at us again, haha...)

Rating for Jamil: 12/10

Overall, I'm very happy with this lineup of cards, especially with the presence of Malleus and Jamil, since they match the zodiac animals. Since 2026 will be the Year of the Horse, maybe we'll have Riddle, Epel, and/or Silver?

Anyway, I'm glad oshogatsu is coming, because I've had enough of the Year of the Dragon (sorry, Malleus). For all my friends who don't celebrate Year of the Snake until Lunar New Year, hang in there and stay safe! 🧧

[txttletale]

bundletober: live. love. die. remember

hello and welcome to bundletober, where i look through TTRPGs i got in bundles like a year ago and see if they're good or not. i will be doing this with no rhyme or reason but i will be trying to do one a day. i'll note whether or not i've played the game in these reviews but more often than not i'll just be looking at the book and offering my first-level thoughts. if a structure or something develops over the month so be it but for now the plan is just to ramble about the game a bit and give an overall recommendation or lack thereof

first of all, the cover (by finbah neill) is really nice. a good cover, a smart choice of font, a couple of masking layers over it, can really go a long way.

the game is one of my favourite types of game -- a single, razor-sharp concept. this game is about one thing: mechs that have fallen in love with their pilots, reminiscing on the time they spent together. it is specifically about that and nothing in it can be separated from that.

i've talked quite a bit (including in the pages of my own game, most trusted advisors) about how i think the text of a game should act as a co-author, prompting you and providing bits of story you wouldn't have thought of otherwise--and as an alchemist, transmuting narrative or mechanical input from the players at the table into a narrative or narrative output for them to engage with. LLDR is much more of the former than the latter--there is no real alchemy going on here, it's very much a co-author, asking questions and inviting a simple pattern of call-and-response.

so what are its contributions in that capacity? LLDR wants to tell intimate stories, love stories--or rather, it wants you to tell them. the meat of the game is the thirty-item long list of prompts that ask you (playing the mech) to recount stories of times spent with your pilot. some of them are pretty standard as romantic prompts go, but some create a real sense of place and tragedy -- "When you couldn't save someone" and "When you helped them pick fruit" stand out for me as being deliciously emotive while being specific. this game is at its best when it is specific, when it seems like it has a specific vision (like a huge powerful war machine and its pilot picking fruit together) and is inviting you to share that vision with it, into its secret hidden places to feel private feelings with it.

the only real 'mechanic' other than these prompts -- the only thing that the game asks you to do other than tell short stories based on them--is "marking your chassis". the game asks you to use eyeliner or marker pen to track, on your body, how many scenes you've played out. i really like this--it definitely does something to set LLDR apart from other small prompt-based games like it. it's the closest thing to alchemy this game has, and it's an oddly physical and located thing for a TTRPG to ask of you. i really like it.

ultimately, this is a five-page RPG with sparse mechanics. that's not enough space to set the world on fire. i think it falters in a few places where there aren't quite enough distinct ideas to fill out every slot on a table that needs filling. but for what it is, the razor-sharp concept goes a long way towards justifying the spareseness and tonally i think it's melancholy and warm in a way that makes me excited to check out more of creator reizor's games.

live. love. die. remember can be purchased as a digital download from itch.io

[miss-mossball]

hi!! im the same anon who sent that ask, that makes me really happy to hear!! we were worried it may have come across as rude somehow but we're glad it meant well as intended!!! and heck yeah!! we're so glad to hear you're doing good.

DID rep is something that matters a lot to us,, to where we were actually very nervous engaging with the idea and showing our own perspectives on it. because we somehow got it in our head that people would accuse us of faking it. or misrepresenting, or whatever the sort. which! seems a little silly, now that it's put into words,

but those types of insecurities rule over us, so seeing it elsewhere is very deeply encouraging!! we're two years out of our bad life, and like... a year into figuring out who we are. so i think that'd be a good start! ehehe...

it's hard to accept the idea of being treated softly, even Now, but maybe it'd be easier to get used to the idea and the feeling if it's not.. Directly us experiencing that gentleness. hard to say, but an exciting experiment to conduct in soon time.

....this got deep i initially came here to make an amusing observation,

wanted to say 'wassup fellow ally of the Moss Allegiance' because i used to be called moss online, so my partner whose also been very deeply supportive of us and our explorations of our everything calls us marimo!

I only took your ask as something nice, please don't worry <3

DID rep is super important for me too! (which is why I have a review blog specifically for reviewing DID in media - @bunnidid-reviews ) I haven't done a proper review in a while, but I'm always trying to sniff out pieces of media that treat DID with compassion most of all

About your insecurities of being fakeclaimed, I can relate to that. I've done many things to mitigate ever being directly pointed at for having DID, like partitioning off my parts stuff and integrating them into stories so they're more like OCs, as well as changing details so when people do get nasty, at least I have some distance. It's not a silly fear, it can be very destabilizing when the disorder is based on denial itself. However, I've only ever had two people try to fakeclaim me, and one is a stalker who doesn't understand DID but I trusted with details with, and the other was someone who seemed very insecure about their own DID. Both those people don't know me well enough to actually say if I do or not, when I've been knowing and working around this for about 8 years.

And as for not feeling worthy of being treated softly, you are. But I also understand the struggles with not feeling worthy or conflicted about it, which is a major theme of my art. It might be worthwhile exploring the darker themes of the disorder in your art and stories. I find it helps me a lot to put my feelings into some sort of form that I can also look at later.

Also, no one says you have to post it publicly! I have dozens of writings that the public will never see. I have art I don't share with anyone at all. I just post here so Rou and Chime can see it without me shoving it in their face =v= )b (I also cant tell when im developing OCs or if parts are drawing always)

Ummm anyway thank you for your asks <3 Sorry for the super long ramble, this is stuff I'm passionate about. Much love and care your way fellow Moss!! (moss is great, I love Marimo as a name)

[risingshards]

Blegh okay I thought about it and after rewatching some eps and reading this again, I kinda like my rambling thoughts on acolyte ep 6 so here goes

Preface: I'm a very very VERY easy to please sw fan and I don't like ragging on shows or movies or whatever this way much these days if I can avoid it with how internet fandom is, like especially with this show with all the hatred and vitriol it's gotten from the incels.

And I've been enjoying the show a ton so far, and ep 6 wasn't bad...just. blech. I have critiques.

TLDR: I was excited for a big thriller mystery in the High Republic era told with a queer lens, and instead I feel like I'm getting a Goodreads review of a scrubbed Reylo fic listing the tropes.

spoilers and me bitching after cut lol

I'm just like why is it reylo now????????

I figured with the mentor swap we'd be heading to Osha turning to the dark side and maybe Mae to the light, but the way it's being put out there feels lacking. Osha is turning so quickly that it felt like i was reading some enemies to lovers romantasy for my book club (at least it hasn't been as awful as the colonizer romance they had me read but that is a LOW bar to clear....). Like a lot of the romantasy books I've read, it feels like setup and taking time to build meaningful connections between characters is ignored for like "oh wow he took his shirt off...he's so jacked....what was i talking about again..." I saw a video with the audio descriptions for the ep and it literally sounded like a romantasy audiobook.

And to note: if you love the enemies to lovers romantasy booktok books, like more power to ya! For me it's like when you stare at one of those magic pictures and you can't get your eyes to cross to see the picture, like "I do NOT understand what I'm supposed to see here."

Str8 enemies to lovers just kind of blech me out, where the evil one commits various atrocities that make me want to see them get what's coming to them, and then minutes later the good one is like "whoa he's hot maybe he's not so bad..."

Osha being so Jedi-like in personality only to immediately falter at a hot naked dude just feels gross. Like can't we have any other reasons for women in Star Wars to get tempted to the dark side than a shirtless man gaslighting them? Probably unsurprisingly but I REALLY did not like Reylo (I was in a very bad relationship and I kinda put the headcanon onto TLJ about it being an escape from an abuser because it came out right after I got away from that, so that going any other way did not vibe right with me) so maybe it's just residual feelings from that.

Again more power to you if this is your thing I'm not coming at anyone for enjoying it!

I think another thing that's making me uncomfortable is seeing interviews with Hedlund about Qimir about his desire for freedom against those who want him gone being relatable in a queer sense, and like I get that, I feel that. But if that's the character with the metaphorical queer experience why are we doing mega straight reylo 2 with him? And that guy brutally kills one of the queer girls and calls her it immediately after??? It doesn't help that the show started off feeling really queer, and now like 80% of the queer characters are dead and we're doing reylo 2. The "oh fuck yeah REYLOOOO" interviews I've read this week are NOT reassuring in this regard.

There's just something my pea brain doesn't get when it comes to stories with more shades of gray in series that are typically pretty black and white with morality. When a character crosses that threshold so far into villainy, I want to see them face some blow back for it, not immediately start going all "uwu they're torn and hurt aren't they?" about it. In Star Wars generally speaking I want the antagonist to BE the antagonist, not get thrown into this space between protagonist and antagonist that just has me all crossed up. I know there are plenty of redemptions in Star Wars for the villains, but I like it better when it's more mythical about the hardships of trying to save a villain's soul like Luke and Vader than "the lightsaber represents kylo's dick" reylo stuff.

I get that like the morality is probably supposed to be muddled in this show, and we're not supposed to feel good about Osha and Qimir getting closer smash cutting to Jecki's fresh corpse, but again, the execution feels messy when you have the gleeful "OH YEAH WE'RE DOING ENEMIES TO LOVERS BABY REYLO SLAYYYYYYY" interviews. Again I'm a VERY easy to please sw fan, and I've been really enjoying seeing the High Republic era in live action, seeing cortosis and wild lightsaber duels, all the expanded universe pulls, it feels really fresh in that regard. And all the performances are stellar, and having such a diverse cast is incredible.

If we had more than thirty minutes and more than 8 episodes to build to all this it'd feel a lot better. The character development feels like it's on roller coaster speed, but with Knife to Throat and other tropey scenes also seen in a bajillion enemies to lovers romance books nowadays thrown our way to fill the gaps. These scripts feel like they needed an editor to really go over the scene to scene motivations and logic and character work and dialogue, instead of mashing booktok trope buttons, which is also how I feel about most romantasy books I read...

Counterpoint to myself is that Star Wars is built on tropes and archetypes so this is like taking some tropes and archetypes of the current day's fiction and playing with them.

But idk.

Like am I really supposed to care about any of what I'm seeing or is it just gonna be booktok and fanfic tropes thrown my way now to a bunch of characters with muddled personalities and motivations clashing? We don't necessarily need someone to root for, and I'm probably being unfair to a lot of this, but after how thrilling Ep 5 felt, 6 has me wondering what the bigger picture of this show is, because it went from feeling like a fascinating if a bit messy story to one that might just be "Look here's enemies to lovers, knife to throat, corruption, oh and here's one bed!" without as much under the surface of that character and plot wise as I would have hoped.

[raeygina-george]

@gxlexii @knightzp i finished link click season 1! i wrote down some ramblings as i watched the show:

(link click s1 spoilers ahead!!!!)

-it's really interesting! ive never seen or read anything with a similar premise so yeah i wanna know a lot more!

-THE BASKETBALL EPISODES????? MY HEAD IS IN MY HANDS OH MY GOD. WHEN IT WAS REVEALED THAT THEY'RE ALL JUST GONNA DIE ANYWAYS??? WHEN CHENG XIAOSHI TRIED TO SAVE THEM NO MATTER WHAT??? had me on the floor fr. it reminded me a lot of the movie "your name"! i have to rewatch it someday asgksjdk but it's good

-THE DOU DOU EPISODES????? IM SOBBING IM CRYING REAL TEARS. it was so nice to see cheng xiaoshi finally be able to save someone after what happened in the earthquake 😭😭😭 AND HOW WHEN HE WAS FINALLY REUNITED WITH HIS PARENTS THEY REENACTED AN OLD, BELOVED MOMENT????? this show is so good omg

-when the police officer handed the photos he wanted investigated i was like "it's gonna be emma it's gonna be emma" AND IT WAS EMMA. im really excited for the Emma case bc i love it when shows have recurring characters and old details become important plot points

-i really like how the ending theme starts with a phone ringing. like it always adds to the tension of the end of the episode so well! i also just like the ending theme it's good askfjsk

-oh boy the. im on the episodes with the blond guy in the mask. idek what to say about it but im enjoying myself

-IM NO LONGER ENJOYING MYSELF WHAT THE FUCK

-LU GUANG????? JUST DIED????? HELLO??????

-WAIT THAT WAS IT??? i gotta watch season 2 now omg

-it does make sense for there to be someone with the ability to possess bodies tho! cause if cheng xiaoshi has a similar ability (of possessing bodies through a photo), of course there'd be others like him

end review: this show is awesome and im going to go eat rocks

[emchovy]

Learned about the release of this book real late, (as in, this February, when I decided that I wanted to show my roommate Epithet for the first time) but thankfully that was just in time to preorder a copy of the hardcover release, which finally came.

Or well, it came yesterday, and I'm finished reading it now. It was AMAZING.

The writing style is pretty different from the stuff I normally read, but once I got in the groove, I felt like I didn't need the audiobook (which I'm definitely gonna get eventually) because I could basically hear all the characters in my head. Also, spoilers for the rest of my review. Pick up a copy. You won't regret it.

I say review. This is disconnected rambling. Also, seriously, spoilers for the whole book delivered in a random out-of-context way.

This book is definitely Molly's story more than anything, and beyond that it's a story between Molly and her sister Lorelei. Two kids with epithets, and opposite personalities. There's a really masterful job here of balancing realistic family drama with the fun, villain vs. hero hijinks.

I love a pathetic loser, and so I was immediately taken by Rick Shades, and his quest for friends, to the point I was getting bummed out when he kept getting rebuffed lololol. However, it was all earned in the end. The scene with him and Molly was <3. Also, I am glad he's gonna get a job. Of some sort.

Naven meeting Molly in the street and just agreeing to give her speech training is an incredibly cute concept.

I liked the Neo Trio a lot, but they're surprisingly not the new faves I expected them to be, though I did laugh pretty much every time at the running joke with Feenie and money.

Actually, my favorite new character was probably Lorelei. We love a girl who's making every wrong decision and also just doesn't leave the house anymore and wonders what's wrong. Also, the Martin + Lorelei relationship was also pretty intriguing. He's more supportive of Lorelei, she's got more of his traits, but Lorelei needs someone who'll help her manage better. Martin's vague support of her 'playing', as Molly puts it, is doing more harm than good. I wasn't exactly sure how to take the fact that Martin constructs Lorelei's ideas in the real world, also. Is he plagiarizing? I wouldn't read it that way, but he's also not collaborating with Lorelei, so they could build something together. A relationship that could go either collaborative or parasitic, depending.

Also, I want Lorelei to get better (and I fully believe she will) but I really liked the end. She needs some time in the real world right now, to grapple with her actions. Neven's gentle support was good. Her and Molly need time apart, so that they can be able to be together again.

Gio and Molly remain duo of all time. Every interaction they have is cute and/or funny. Two characters I could probably enjoy watching/reading about doing basically any boring task you can think of and enjoy. Painting a fence, doing laundry, vacuuming, whatever.

Giovanni's complete blindness to romance was so fuckin' funny in this book. Him and Lorelei and him and Crusher were also distinctly different levels of complete obliviousness.

Also, Crusher and Molly, right at the end <3!! Pulling out the stool for her, her getting reassured by the fact she was nervous. Augh. So sweet. I've reread that scene like 4 times. I do hope we get Molly hanging out with more of The Boys. Crusher's coming across like a pretty gentle sweetie, but I'm very curious about how she'll integrate into the larger group.

All of that to say! Good book!! Would recommend! I'm extremely excited for Sweet Escape.

[clarafyer]

Omnomnom dehydrated apple chips are some of my favorite safe foods

Actually yk what I'll ramble about my sensory shit

So like I've loved spicy, bold flavours like hot cheetos, curry, buffalo wings, etc, and I'll never not accept them as a safe food.

Sometimes though my sensory needs just- change back and forth, like from "I will vomit if I eat avocado toast today" to "avocado toast is the only thing I will accept as breakfast today" which is I guess where audhd comes in. There are some foods that bypass all my shifting needs, like strawberries, dehydrated apples, hot cheetos, potato chips, and pasta (ESPECIALLY the bowties omg I love the bowtie pasta)

Aside from taste needs, sometimes I really REALLY need a tight hug, not because I'm having a rough day but just because my body really wants to be under pressure for like 4 seconds and then it's good, aND THEN IT SWITCHES TO "If my parents even just barely touch my hair I will die of the sudden itch and sometimes even pain"

Also florescent lights just kill me most of the time which is why I am very happy that most of my teachers don't have every light turned on in their classrooms

I need socks to walk anywhere around my house but I will have straight up insomnia if I wear them to sleep

I haven't ever gone fully non-verbal but when I talk I either have to repeat myself 4 times because of how quiet I'm mumbling, stutter too much to the point where I just restart my sentence after pausing, repeat a word when I didn't mean to (for example during a chapter review of Lord of the flies I said "Piggy and Piggy" instead of "Jack and Piggy" and I got laughed at D:) ORRRRR I NEED TO BE TOLD TO BE QUIETER BECAUSE I'M RAMBLING TOOFASTANDLOUDDD

I have two special interests: my OC lore, and Genshin Impact. My childhood special interest was- also my old OC lore (7 year old me had the amazing and magical story, ever so creatively named "the enchanted forest") that went on for like 4-5 years where I would always want to talk about it and think about it to sleep, aaaaaand My Little Pony (I'VE REWATCHED MLP AND NINJAGO BOTH LIKE AT LEAST 8 TIMES but I wouln't call Ninjago a special interest bc it was more of an on and off obsession-)

I do also have hyperfixations ofc and they usually last up to 2 months, pretty sure that lines up with the statistical average idk

Also sometimes I just need to- punch something with full force. I never get to though and Ik it'd feel great (I did throw a pillow like 5 times in a call with my friend when I was hyper though so like... I've been able to get that excitement out-)

I'm sometimes really slow or just straight up zone out mid-conversation which is frustrating on both ends

I have a wide and advanced vocabulary for my age but [read the prior paragraph on talking], I usually don't get to use it to it's full potential because of that issue .-.

(I just realized this whole rant about my stuff is gonna be perfect for if I can ever actually get diagnosed by someone yayyy)

Mom told me that as a 1-3 year old I never really played with my toys but just lined them up either by size or color (yk those like- tower thingies with the rings of differing sizes and colors? I always ordered them correctly just out of the need for it to look right)

When I was 5 this girl in Kindergarten had a sling on but it was a fancy bedazzled sling so I really wanted to feel the gems but she wouldn't let me and I got sad :(

I've always loved swings and those like- spider web climbing equipment, still do just because I like rocking around and being able to stretch and hang and maneuver around the differently angled bars/ropes on the spider web thing (SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY CALLED)

I also have this like- neck shaking and hand flapping tic/stim, sometimes it's uncontrollable sometimes it's a controllable urge, and when it's a tic it sometimes hurts or is just straight up excessive

Okay my mind is going blank now so buhbye this was super long if anyone read all of that- kudos to you, Idk why you would subject yourself to reading it all ok BYEEE

[catoswound]

penis i mean the return review [spoilers]

okay first of all. let me get this out of the way. his ass. his bush. his penis. ralph fiennes full frontal <3 hurray

adn her loom. RED!! this movie is not Red but i love the Reds in it. the thread. the fires. the blood ughhh. ANTINOUS' CLOTHES!!! and her thing (for her to hold the string??) for the weaving looks like a ship passing through bloodthreadwater USGXHH right off the bat insane already

i really like antinous he is soooo irritating HE IS SO ROMAN SENATOR!!!!! hes like a mix of antony and catilina tbh. to me. fun guy

not sure what to make of blondie with the undercut. weird. all the suitors were irritating but thats true to the book i guess SPEAKING OF TRUE TO THE BOOK this movie was not ❌ true to the book. things change! i was not big on them but then i was a little? the changes are ok. that is my final decision. in fact they are good

it's a lot of what comes after war so there's not really THE ODYSSEY (as in. the director took liberties. and also i read the odyssey quite literally right before watching this so i was picking up everything that was changed) and it ends without clearing up what odysseus was actually doing those years between the fall of troy and returning to ithaca. i dont even know if they stuck to the full ten years???? made it out like he was just wandering around traumatised and not ready to go home rather than being Highly Inconvenienced by the gods. kind of weird. this little thing threw me off (what the fuck is he doing then?? lol) but arghh a bit of a me problem. it does sort of work

so,, war-related ptsd stuff, not really knowing yourself after war, &c which i wasnt expecting butttt i liked the exploration of the dynamics between penelope and odysseus and them and telemachus. telemachus is lowkey soooo fucking irritating lol (they played into the odyssey telemachus more here, with how he treats his mum) BUTTT i think hes alright within the movie. like i am Not The Biggest Fan but i get it. i like book telemachus more because Doubles and he is not doubling here but it is good 👴👍

if im judging it just based off what i think the director really wanted to convey (that is. about how war changes everyone. for the Worse) its really good. there's this part where odysseus and penelope are talking to each other before the reveal and there's a fire between them and i nearly died. all the fire stuff in fact that scene where the suitors return to the palace and they're literally bringing fire back there. THE WAR IS HERE NOW!!!! also odysseus sitting at his father's grave and saying something about the dead being the lucky ones. oughhh. ugh. ouch.

argos. :). fuck me.

i heart eurycleia. i wish there was more Bed? i really did not get a good look at Bed At All. tbh penelope and odysseus were not homophrosyning as much as they could have but that's ok also. i guess. i think if youre insane and just immediately take it as penelope Knowing Right Off The Bat, they can homophrosyne. tbh. but the movie is kinda like odysseus doesnt know himself and penelope doesn't know him so i cannot blame penelope for not mindtomind connectioning her husband

THE BOWWW oh i love the bow SUSPENSE i definitely feel like that was a little bloodfrenzy aristeia moment hehe

she did fucking seal off her bedroom though. i dont know im insane she fucking locked it away kept it hidden and he came back and he KNEW.

it was A Movie for sure. well shot and well made. it made me go all jittery in the theatre. i definitely heard someone snore at the back which is valid lol i dont think it was all that exciting if u are Not insane about the odyssey and if u already know none of them are gonna die. so.. ARGHHHH go watch it i feel. ouch. ouch. ouch.

i have more nitpicky complaints but i dont actually wnt to spoil the entire movie </3 i am rambling u may ignore me

edit: the first moments when he touches his son he fucking hits him. btw. lets goooo the violence of warrrrr

[sparklesdogs]

Hello hello :))

I’m sorry if my ask didn’t go through due to tumblr being hungry but if it did then please prefer to ignore this ask as it will be at the very least what the og ask was saying. So without further or do review time >:)

Ok so can definitely see there is going to be a fake out ei one of the decepticons are going to be seen but who knows maybe the autobots will be leaving earth (and definitely know who is going to be happy leaving) but happy to see soundwave being alive :))

Anyways short though on chapter aside here are some ideas and questions I wanted to share

Hound (I know he is not in the all spark almanac but please hear me out) I have an idea that has him and mirage going to earth for a research expedition where mirage does some sneaking, hound wound be collecting samples of organisms and organic material with sari ( I am going off with his g1 continuity because that is the only one I know even if it is like the basics) he would be thrilled to be on this expedition as he is interested (obsession maybe) in organic life in general which causes him to be a bit of an outcast due to Cybertron’s views on organics. So as soon as hound meets sari he is excited as a dog. Maybe prowl or bumblebee would have an eye on hound while he and sari collect samples. At some point hound comes to the realization that he wishes he was human so he can understand the earth and appreciate its existence. Meanwhile mirage is fucking around with the decepticons (aka giving them VERY important information about a certain magus or just spying on them who knows).

(Oh god I ramble too much about that)

So for any ex-decepticons like that of drift and ambulon, do you have any plans for them? I know that ambulon isn’t in the almanac.

Would any episode that you decided to use that had sentinel prime as a prime focus in a way (example the one episode where he pays lockdown to hunt the decepticons would he still do that except it’s rodimus finding out his ass was lying) would that mean rodimus takes the role of “seeing how the autobots on earth are doing” thing (if you do decide to keep them on earth that is)

How would you incorporate the constructicons? Are you going to use what the show has given us or give us the devastator.

Will there be a revolution in Cybertron?

Are more decepticons going to show up at some point?

Anyways that is all I am sorry if I was rambling too much with the hound stuff but I wish you a good day and a good night :))

★彡

Hey hey!

I answered some of these already in your previous ask, so I'll skip on down to the Sentinel question..

Ultimately, yes, Rodimus is here to fill the role of Sentinel in the original show. The difference is that Rodimus is (in my AU) more childish and friendly. He knows to be serious during certain events (such as in chapter 24), but he isn't afraid to show his immaturity. This way, he meshes with the other members of the Steelhaven, but still provides an opposite of Sentinel. Similar to how Optimus and Sentinels were opposites in the show. He also provides a playful contrast for Elita, who takes everything far too seriously. In other words, Rodimus isn't the type to hire a suspicious bounty hunter to capture Decepticons for fame or recognition. He might do it to protect others though.

I don't really intend to focus on any of the Autobots in my story. They'll have their moments in the story (as I've shown), but they aren't going to have a chapter from their POV if that's what you're asking. Those Found is, primarily, Orion's story. I'll write chapters from other Decepticon's POVs, such as Prowl and Bumblebee like I've done, but probably not the Autobots.

I'm going to depict the Constructicons from the show similar to how they were in the show. While I am familiar with their G1, comic, and TFA appearances, I'm going to stick with their TFA counterparts. Mostly because there are less members in the show, so they're easier to manage.

Technically there was already a revolution. That's how the war started, after all. But I know what you mean and that would be telling. ;)

Right now, the only Decepticons that I plan to have appear in the story are the Starscream clones. Though that is a bit of a spoiler itself. Most of the other 'cons are just easter eggs, like St3v3 and Breakdown popping up in Bumblebee's chapter in Those Abandoned by brief physical depictions. I didn't even name names!

As always, thanks for the questions!

[superblysubpar]

Taylor, I'd love to know

13, 19 and 30?

I love that you're all asking me these movie questions even though I'm a rambling slut (affectionate) 😭

13. do you have a favorite film in another language?

I am just getting into watching more foreign films, and I'd love some recs (I'm making a list on my letterboxd that will literally be called "movies my internet friends told me to watch", so seriously, send the recs in)

But, I LOVE "Run Lola Run" - I highly highly recommend if you haven't seen it.

19. name a movie so bad it’s good

gosh...I don't know...

"Twilight"? Like I love the twilight movies but like...they're really...they're something.

30. are you looking forward to any upcoming releases?

Oh my gosh SO many, but I think the most soon to be released one I'm most excited for is "Saturday Night".

I'm a HUGE SNL fan, like my dad let me start watching with him on Saturday Nights probably too young, but they just became a huge part of my relationship with him and huge part of my personality so I'm really excited about that movie for those reasons, but it also looks like it's been done so well, the cast is incredible, and I've only heard good reviews on it.

🤓ask me a movie question!

[fyrets]

June 2024 KS Check In Review

Time flies and we're back here again and OHHH MY GOD ITS CRAZY

We're moving to the stuff I care about uhhhh MOONTAILS! THEY ARE LOOKING GOOD!!! This one is my favorite palette so far. They are so ice creams

NEW BOVINES!!!!!!! SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I previously wasn't really into the kit artwork but something about it now is so sweet I love it a lot.

BUT YOU GUYS ALREADY KNOW WHAT I'M GOING INSANE OVER

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

FYRETS REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i feel so so so so so so crazy im insane im gonna be sick im gonna die im gonna die im not gonna make it ohhh my god they're so beautiful i need them now right now please please please please please I'll do anything I'll do anything I'll do anything I NEED THEM NOWWW RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhh then we have some backdrops that are pretty neat. Giving me Italy. Sorry its jojo worms.

Incense! I actually kinda don't like how they look like as items but its like caring about what flight rising eggs look like it's not a big deal.

Recolors! Very neat! I'm actually kind of intrigued by the fact the cats modeling the accessories are a very dark black or white. Of course this is the first time fully showcasing a bunch of recolors but I kinda wonder if my ramblings about the regal set last update influenced this decision on presentation. I guess I'll never know!

and finally.......... Reddit. I don't have much to say on this one actually. I'm pretty open to the concept but I get why people would be hesitant. I don't know. I'll have to try it out myself to have a strong opinion on it.

aaaand thats about everything interesting from this update imo. pretty good! i think the new faq dropping was a bit more exciting though.

[darklight-owl]

Owl Reviews Stuff She Just Finished: Ghost Trick

I cannot BELIEVE i hadn't heard of this game before the remake got announced. But at the same time I'm kinda grateful for that, because that meant that I got to play the game (nearly) blind!

But I disgress, man. What a good game. It's something that starts off as pretty small and charming but later when the story progresses it unravels into something way more ambitious and dramatic.

Speaking of first impressions, the gameplay mechanics immediately caught my eye. Preventing deaths by moving around objects and butterfly-effecting the world around you is such a fun idea and executed really well. It made something as simple as moving from point a to point b a mini puzzle and each area was unique enough that it never got old.

But let's be real no one plays Ghost Trick for the gameplay we're all here for the PLOT. Being a pretty big Ace Attorney fan I was very interested in seeing what Shu Takumi had in store for this and it did NOT dissappoint. But while AA's focus is on the characters rather than the story, Ghost Trick's focus is on the story rather than the characters.

This isn't a bad thing, after all the story is extremely compelling, but it explains why it took me a longer time to warm up to the cast than in some other games I've played. They're all pretty compelling and memorable with their own distinct personalities, but a lot of the time their development took a back seat to leave room for the larger mystery (the two exceptions being [NAME REDACTED] and Sissel), with the majority of the cast remaining static throughout the game. But for a story as full of intrigue as this it worked fairly well, and each of them had something that made them stand out which made their interactions really fun.

As mentioned before the story's pacing and buildup is immaculate. Being a mystery game it relies heavily on plot twists and its way of dangling the answers right in front of your nose and revealing them at just the right moment makes everything that much more exciting. The best mystery stories are not just ones that can surprise you but can make you feel like you should have seen that coming, and Ghost Trick definitely falls into that category. All of the signs were right there, but the game used the information that the audience took for granted to make the most jaw-dropping twists you'll ever see. New information can make your idea of what happened change at the drop of a hat which I thought was a great way to keep the player engaged and determined to find out what really happened.

But that's enough of me rambling. Buy Ghost Trick. It's on Steam. I give it 9 Ghosts out of 10 Tricks 🥳

Anyway if y'all excuse me I need to go pick up my diploma:

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

204. The Parasite by Richard Paul Evans--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I can't believe we get more MICHAEL VEY stories! I was in love with this series when I did my re-read and I didn't know we were going to get a sequel series with them being in College until I saw this one pop up at work last year. Although it's a wholly new adventure, the suspense and fun is just the same.

Although it reads more like YA like the other books in the series, the characters are definitely older (wouldn't be surprised in they're at least 20). I liked this side of it because it felt more proportional with the violence they experience.

I also mainly loved reading this book because while it was fun, we got to have the opportunity to see how the characters were doing beyond the initial series, which is something so rare. AND it is a great story, too, it's not some sad attempt at writing yet another MICHAEL VEY story.

The team goes back to the site of one of the places that started it all because one of their old teammates has gone missing there, and two other have been abducted. It was nonstop action and intrigued.

If you haven't read this series, I highly recommend it. I think it's good for any ages because it's just pure fun. (My review rambles because I don't want to spoil anything LOL).

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205. The Traitor by Richard Paul Evans--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The way I always devour these books. Since I waited to read the last book in this series, I was able to read this one immediately after.

I loved the twists and turns, and the constant adventure. I also almost cried during this one because it feels like the impossible has happened near the end of this book. I'm not going to say much because of spoilers, but I'm left with questions and I'm eagerly waiting for the next book, since this one left off on a cliffhanger!

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206. Come With Me by Ronald Malfi--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I've been meaning to read a Ronald Malfi novel because I came across a couple of his short story collections that looked really good to me. I wanted to see if I vibed with his writing and while it took me a little bit to get into it, I think I'm going to enjoy his stuff.

COME WITH ME dealt with not only a chilling mystery to be solved after the tragic killing of the MC's wife, but also the shadows of grief that haunt us when we're stuck in that immediate loop of not being able to cope with the new reality that loss paints for us. We see the personification of this grief in Malfi's novel as the MC struggles to find the answers his late wife had secretly been hunting for while she was alive.

This is definitely one of those horror books that masquerade as a ghost story, but is actually a tale of human-created horror and the haunting of grief. The actions of several people, including police officers, is another one of the chilling topics brought into focus in COME WITH ME.

It took me a while to get into the book because the first few parts are about the MC's reality shifting and in retrospect, I think that it was a very necessary introduction. We are being brought into the MC's very real horror story and then we start exploring the true crime aspect of this book.

I think what made this book all the more compelling was how consistent Malfi was throughout the story when it comes to grief and the horrible things humans do to one another. Even the ending was a jarring reminder of this.

COME WITH ME leaves you with questions like "Why?" and "What now?" and I have zero regrets about finally reading this book. I've read a lot of iterations of grief and how it can be explored in fiction. I think Malfi does a great job and I'm excited to read more of his work!

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207. Hello Stranger by Katherine Center--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm a huge fan of Katherine Center. I've enjoyed pretty much every book she's ever written and that hasn't changed at all after reading this new one!

HELLO STRANGER was such a cute and unique story following a woman who loses her ability to recognize faces after a life-saving brain surgery. She's an artist and while she's struggling with her new (and potentially temporary) reality, she grows closer to the resident playboy (or is he?)

I loved seeing their banter, her hilarious take on certain situations, and how obvious the conflict was--but in the funniest way possible. This was truly such a sunlight of a book during the scariest of months.

Center's writing is always such a joy and HELLO STRANGER is perfect proof of that. It's not smutty, so know that, but it does focus on a classic and fun will they/won't they romance between two enemies (maybe?). If you like stories that feature a guy who falls first, but let's the FMC do her enemies bit, then you're going to really enjoy this.

Also, much like Center's other books, the MC also has a complex storyline. Her complicated relationship with her family, the grief that has helped shape her as an artist, and her need to be the best friend possible make her a fun narrator for HELLO STRANGER.

Add this one to your TBR if you want a fun romantic comedy with a little puppy, an evil stepsister, and a sexy man who just wants to be helpful.

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208. The Fate of Ten by Pittacus Lore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well, that ending was...I'm very glad I'm reading these years after they've all been released. I don't know if I'd be able to handle having to wait a year for the the final book after that ending.

Much like the rest of this series, this was a fantastic book. Will always be a fan of how the characters have grown so much and the complex relationships between all of them. They all work off each other so, so well.

I liked the twists and there were definitely moments where I thought the storyline was getting really cool. Not going to lie, series like this one make me feel like a kid again. The fun of them, the emotional weight of them, and the "will they actually succeed?" urgency of these stories hook me every time.

I can't say too much because they're super easy to spoil, but if you've been on the fence about reading this series, I highly recommend that you give yourself a few days off to just sit and read these (or listen to them). They're that good and addicting. Even though I'm giving myself breaks in between each book, I am always thinking about them!

Seriously can't wait to get my hands on the next one!

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209. The Ferryman by Justin Cronin--⭐️⭐️⭐️

It has been a LONG time since I've read anything by Justin Cronin. I remember that summer, years ago, when I fell into THE PASSAGE--the bible-thin pages taunting me--and completely falling in love. I didn't know what to expect from THE FERRYMAN, but the concept seemed interesting and I wanted to read something new from Cronin that didn't have to do with his spooky tome of a series.

Long story short, I thought THE FERRYMAN was...okay?

I THINK I understand what Cronin was trying to do with this one. I even see this as a bittersweet love letter to grief. Grief over a future lost; grief over what could have been and is actually a completely different existence. The whole experience was like a manic dream highlighted by the grief that the characters carry in their hearts. This aspect was powerful and honestly so heartbreaking.

One of the things that I recalled from THE PASSAGE were the parental undertones when one of the children lacked a parent to help guide them in their scary new world. This is another part of THE FERRYMAN that I think Cronin did well.

What I think was a flaw in THE FERRYMAN was the structure of the story and the at-times wordiness of the story, even though this book was much shorter than THE PASSAGE. We kept jumping from one storyline to another, and another, and another. Just when I thought I was getting a grip of where the story had jumped to, we were thrust into another new reality. The structure was akin to an onion full of layers--metaphorical layers that made me cry with frustration because understanding was such a slippery concept. Thankfully, the ending really and truly helped me understand what the hell was going on, but the journey was admittedly exhausting.

I'm happy I read this because it was different and challenged me, but the exhausting nature of it also makes me happy I made it to the end. (I don't foresee a re-read in my future.) Overall, I enjoyed the messages in this, but the execution could have been done better (unless disorienting the reader was the goal, then bravo!)

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210. Time to Shine by Rachel Reid--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy from the publisher. This did not affect my rating in any way!

I LOVED THIS BOOK.

Listen, I haven't stayed up until 5:30AM listening to a book in FOREVER. Rachel Reid hits us again with another incredible M/M hockey romance! I simply adored this--in the "kicking my feet with joy" way.

The himb0 MC is the cutest person I have read in a book in a long time. One of my favourite lines he says is "Sometimes he had thought ideas were great and they turned out to be terrible, like the time he stirred peanut butter into his coffee." (Quote is from the ARC.) My sweet summer child. This quote pretty much paints a perfect idea of how he his. He's the sweetest and most...sexual guy ever and I fell immediately in love.

The second and quieter MC is this tall and shy badass goalie who is the biggest cinnamon roll. I wanted to hug him (after asking first) and take on some of the grief and guilt he carries with him for a good chunk of the book. His anxiety and adverseness to his talkative counterpart was hilarious and watching him slowly open up was the absolute best.

One of the best things about this book, which I have already told a couple of people, is the communication between the two characters. Consent is always important and it is definitely highlighted in this book.

TIME TO SHINE is an apt title, not just because we see these characters grow to be the brightest people they can be (in their worlds), but because this book is a like a ray of sunshine full of important topics, but most importantly, such a pure and sweet love.

I giggled, fell in love, and sweated my way through the smut.

I'm in love and I hope there's more coming in this world (or at least from Reid!)

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211. The Wild Robot by Peter Brown--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I listened to the audiobook and this was an incredibly great choice. The production level was incredible and I can see younger readers falling in love immediately. I almost wish the sound effects had played throughout the whole book.

The mini storylines of how Roz the robot made friends and survived on the island were so sweet that I couldn't help but smile throughout the whole book. I especially loved the storyline where she was the mom to an orphaned little goose. It made my heart feel so warm and fuzzy--it was just so, so cute.

Now I understand why so many little ones come into the bookstore looking for this series! It has a lot of great messages of forgiveness and the complexities of the topic, friendships, different kinds of parents, never judging someone before getting to know them, and how family isn't always blood-related but can be made up of those around us who love us. It's an incredible wholesome book.

I think this would be a great book for an even younger demographic than 9-12. I think I'd recommend this for as young as eight or nine--especially when one considers what some kids are reading now. This is a wholesome read with very, very minimal violence and a whole lot of love.

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Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

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Happy reading!

[torturecave]

Just in case you still check here, I was wondering, the other day I was thinking about your art and how beautifully and canon (to me at least haha) you managed poppy and branch, especially poppy (like seriously I feel you get her as a character so much) as she's usually never despicted as amazing as you did at least for me, your art and content is legit sooooo GOOD,:) Anyway, my question actually was if you thought TWT and TBT carried on with the way you see these 2 as characters/their dynamic? I remember especially with TWT people thought they were a bit softer and stuff lol Also really curious if you liked the movies in general besides this, is the first one still your favorite? I have a very soft spot for it but I liked the rest too. Sorry for the long ramble, loved your new TBT related art a lot, you're my favorite jelly bean guys artist : D thanks for reading if you do and have a good day!!

It's very sweet you think so highly of my depiction of Poppy and Branch's relationship from so many years ago... While I'm quite sentimental about it, and I felt strongly when I made that art / those posts, it HAS been long enough that I feel as though I've developed so much as a person. I mourn not being more thoughtful...! Subsequently I've been kind of hesitant to use this blog too seriously, I'm posting on it in a capricious manner for now, so as to not think too hard about my old art and posts that embarrass me,,, >>;

With that self-consciousness out of the way... Wanna start by saying: I love World Tour and Band Together-!! I remember being agog in 2017 that we mysteriously had a sequel already confirmed with an exact date and everything. Really... I was perfectly in suspense for TWT and it lived up to it's hype, I was so excited until the day of release and it lived up to all expectations, expanded on the world so hugely aououuu!!! Amusingly enough I was more hesitant about TBT, just that wariness that... it's hard to ask for a series to make 2 good sequels. Also the trailer gave me the impression that it would be more of a "roadtrip with your annoying blowhard older brother"... worrying that JD was lying or creating a contrivance to get Brozone back or something along those lines. The movie itself though was great, again expanded on the world and showed me wonderful colors and textures and environments, yes thank you trolls... Beyond that I actually like the themes of both movies and agree with how they handle it. (Much like the 1st movie...!) So... really, a glowing review from me.

Though to get into Poppy and Branch's relationship progressing in each movie... It is an interesting journey really, I ah, used to tell myself I never wanted Poppy and Branch to be "more than" friends... Wanting to emphasize the beauty in friendship alone being intimate and capable of complexity. But well, times have changed, and, I'm normal-style married now, to the girl I would RP poppy and branch kissing with for 8 hrs back in 2017. So. I'll be real and say, I'm really basic now, and I like the trajectory of canon. The boyfriend-girlfriend-ification of pranch... the marriage tease... I stan.

Hmm... It's amusing if fans thought the dynamic was 'softened' in TWT, it's not exactly how I would describe it? I feel as though things have definitely been tempered from the first movie, because they've gotten to know each other, and the major hurdle of Branch's singing trauma was revealed. Part of why Branch was so prickly and resistant to Poppy was, being incompatible with the village's lifestyle, way of thinking, stuck being endlessly paranoid and set off... Once you remove that conflict, you can't really get their bickering to be on the same 'level' as in movie one... But they're still playful and teasing, for sure? You'll always have Branch's dry humor and Poppy's incessance, her exuberance. One of my favorite things is when she gets all, hehe I know branch like me ❤ (The poppy cutting the tether to the hot air balloon....)

Anyways, if anything I, find it extremely funny how unchill Branch is in TWT. He's all. Incel. .. .. . ? WHICH... is really funny for a troll to feel kfjhshdg... At the very least, pop troll village is so, mmm everyone love and hug each other, that — the fact that Branch can feel, friendzoned, is just so funny to me... He is struggling with wanting their relationship to be 'more'. Subsequently he spends a lot of the movie jealous and sad when she isn't listening to him...

(this is a brief aside that, I'm kinda obsessed with the opening number of TWT being a cover of Girl's Just Want To Have Fun. song about that fun-lovin' fun-havin' girl that you can't tie down really... What's up with that? The humor reaches full circle when you have Branch's verse having originally been this:

Some boys take a beautiful girl And hide her away from the rest of the world [...]

... while in his scary underground bunker with a million locks and industrial steel doors. OK...)

I mean, I always got the impression that Branch was uniquely infatuated with Poppy, despite all his, foosiness, as seen by his hoarding the invitations + his poetry that comes out while counseling Bridget... Which paints this picture of him being uncontrollably into Poppy but at odds with his own trigger, can't not act shitty. But mnghh [stares longingly at...] <- this is so funny... Anyways TWT basically confirms to me, that Branch has been pining for Poppy for a long time, since Branch is restless about their rship advancing. He's only just become her best friend but, wants more-!

Somehow this is the elegant segue for TBT to be about... Poppy finding out Branch was in a boyband she's always been obsessed with... So not only is she learning more about Branch, she's like. Obliquely thirsty about, over, him, like screaming and pulling her hair and shaking around dancing on her feets. I SUPPOSE it balances things, if you create a reality where now Poppy is infatuated with Branch, and has been for years... .. ... It makes Branch's incel phase even funnier... (Though, now he's thinking about marriage-! ! When will you be satisfied branchie...)

My wife (@fearbunker) — who, for lore purposes, is the person I was frequently collabing/talking to on this blog, making posts and AUs together. My best friend back then... — she's joked that World Tour is about Branch being obsessed with Poppy, while Band Together is about Poppy being obsessed with Branch. This is the simplest way to put it.

At this point Poppy and Branch feel like a slow burn that's taken many many years to culminate... Allured by one another, but kept apart by circumstance... eh, it's too much for me actually, I can't handle this romance...

Personally I don't feel much character integrity lost per movie, I am pleased for what is introduced and explored... I think Poppy and Branch deal with a reasonable amount of interpersonal conflict, with Branch struggling to be open and honest (naturally a defensive, easily defeatist sort...) while Poppy's enthusiasm and tendency to rush into things causes issues. I like it though... we never really berate Poppy for being hopeful, optimistic, which I like best. She's capable of being perceptive in her own way, ahh I mean I love the little moments in TBT where she's really... taking Branch's hands and looking into his eyes, offering counseling. Such a good girlfriend.. and you feel like we've come a long way to get here.

As for where I rank the first movie... Deep down it feels impossible to pick an absolute favorite, because they all have their strengths. 9.9 My wife just described it as 'painfully sincere' and I have to agree. There's a quality in the first movie the sequels lack, and perhaps they can't really be expected to recapture; there's more quiet lulls, really chewing the scenery with these two. Since it's about them bonding, you get a lot of time where it's just the two of them, and I love that... There's many exchanges I like, find profound still. I'll always die over the True Colors scene......!! ;; >< ////

So I feel the same as you, there's always a special place in my heart for the first movie...

Thanks for this lovely ask though, it was fun to reply to. I hope this is satisfactory as an answer... ^^