#and they made me art director so I unfortunately now convinced of my teachings

[blubbingbeautifully]

I have exactly three pillars of my design ethos which are as follows: 1. There’s a time and place for everything  2. I make this look good 3. Watch me

All other ethos are pretentious, thank you, good day.

[oberlinconservatory]

In the Practice Room with the 2019 Rubin Scholars

For each of the past 14 years, Oberlin Conservatory has welcomed the legendary American mezzo-soprano Marilyn Horne for a weeklong residency. And after each of the past six, Horne has awarded $10,000 to outstanding students that she coached during her campus visit. Both the scholarship and the Horne residency are made possible by the singer’s close friend and philanthropist Stephen Rubin, president and publisher of Henry Holt & Co. This spring, Horne named soprano Whitney Campbell ’19 and tenor Shawn Roth ’20 the new awardees, each receiving $5,000 in funding for auditions, travel, and the living expenses that accompany the life of a young artist. While singing for THE Marilyn Horne was a bit nerve-racking for both Whitney and Shawn, they both admit that having fun has backed all their hard work at Oberlin.

When were you first inspired by the human singing voice?

Whitney: As a child, I would go around the house singing at all hours of the day. The first time I was inspired by the operatic voice, was when I heard Renée Fleming live in recital when I was 13 years old. Her ability to touch the soul with her voice alone inspired me to pursue this career!

Shawn: Among a few moments that stick out in particular would be the first time I heard a recording of Pavarotti singing “La donna è mobile.” There was just something so other-worldly about it—it sounded too perfect to be of this earth. I thought, “Whoa, opera’s the coolest thing there is,” because nothing remotely came close to listening to it.

What are some of your greatest musical influences?

Whitney: Since first hearing Renée Fleming in that recital, I have always gone back to her as a source of inspiration. I consider her my biggest role model. Her innate musicality and ability to express with her voice is something I aspire to achieve. I have read her book, The Inner Voice, at least three times. Angela Meade, Marilyn Horne, Montserrat Caballé, Eileen Farrell, Mirella Freni, and so many more, also influence my work. In addition to those singing role models, it was my longtime choir director Barbara Walker who introduced me to music and really inspired me to pursue this career. She heard me singing at the pool when I was five years old and recruited me on the spot to join the Livingston Parish Children’s Choir in Denham Springs, LA, where I sang from kindergarten through seventh grade. She is still a major musical influence and mentor to me today. Without her, I probably would not have gotten into music at all.

Shawn: Every day I find another reason to sing, whether it’s because I’ve discovered a new aria or new singer, perhaps I found out something new when I practiced that day, or maybe someone said something I’d like to prove wrong! As far as musical influences go, I’ve had a few constants—one would be Pavarotti. I always go back to him, even if I haven’t listened to him in months. Another would be classical radio programming. I grew up in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, with Pittsburgh’s classical radio station WQED. One night, when I was a kid, I was messing with my radio before bed and came across this absolutely, shockingly mesmerizing sound. It was a beautiful symphony—I unfortunately don’t remember what the piece was, but I remember the host saying it was by an African-American composer. Probably William Grant Still’s Symphony No. 1, now that I think of it. But from then on I would listen to the classical station anytime I could, and I credit that with giving me my love for classical music in particular. When I come home I turn the dial as soon as I’m in range!

Shawn performs opposite soprano Alexis Reed ’20 in Missy Mazzoli’s Proving Up in the January 2019 Winter Term Opera. What have been some of your greatest experiences in Oberlin? Any most valuable takeaways?

Whitney: Having the opportunity to work with Marilyn Horne is definitely at the top of my list! It was an absolutely incredible experience that I am beyond grateful for. During my four years at Oberlin, I was fortunate enough to be cast in all four of the operas conducted by Christopher Larkin. After being in the chorus for the first two, I got to work more closely with him on solo roles in Britten’s The Turn of the Screw and Poulenc’s Dialogues des Carmélites. It was such a privilege to work with maestro Larkin during my time here. He was so inspiring with his encouraging words and musical ideas, while simultaneously teaching us how to work with a full orchestra. It’s incredible that Oberlin provided us—as such young singers—with fully staged, costumed, and orchestrally supported opportunities to grow as artists on stage.

Shawn: Getting accepted to Oberlin in the first place was such a thrill, since I really only began studying voice seriously during my senior year of high school. I’ve been incredibly fortunate for what Oberlin’s given to me. I’ve had the chance to work with an amazing teacher, Salvatore Champagne, throughout my time here. As an underclassman I got to listen to incredibly talented colleagues like Olivia Boen ’17 and Cory McGee ’18 before they took off. I’ve been in master classes with world-renowned artists such as Marilyn Horne, George Shirley, Gerald Martin Moore, and Brian Zeger. I’ve worked on operas with two of the best living composers, Du Yun and Missy Mazzoli. And I’ve been invited to sing with the Cleveland Orchestra as a soloist, twice, because they reached out to Oberlin specifically for singers. How can I possibly pick a favorite out of any of those?! And I still have one more year left, which is hands-down the craziest part. Can’t wait to see what happens next year!

Whitney Campbell in Oberlin Opera Theater’s spring 2019 production of Poulenc’s Dialogues des Carmélites. Singing on the Marilyn Horne master classes is one of the most exciting honors for Oberlin singers. What was that first experience of working with the great American mezzo like for you? Whitney: As I was sitting in the audience, waiting for my turn to sing the “Czardas” from Die Fledermaus for Marilyn Horne, I was the most nervous I’ve ever felt for a performance. However, after getting through the first sing-through, she was so kind—I just knew she was rooting for all of us to succeed! She had such great, really helpful advice for me about pacing the piece. It ended up being one of my favorite performances at Oberlin. To top it all off, I got to have an hour-long lesson with her the next day! I never would’ve thought I would have the chance to casually sing through my repertoire for Ms. Horne. It was a life-changing experience, and I still can’t believe it happened. One of the coolest things she said to me was that I reminded her of herself at a young age, which was the best compliment I could ever wish to receive. I’m still reeling from it! I really hope I can continue to work with her in the years to come! Shawn: Oh god, I’ve never been more nervous than when I was waiting backstage to go on stage for Ms. Horne. As the most established living American mezzo, she’s one of the most intimidating people to sing for on the planet...at first. Once I got out there and she started asking me about my pieces, she made me feel right at home. (I think both of us being from western Pennsylvania probably helped, too!) She’ll ask you to do things no one else will, and as a result, can improve your performance in ways no one else can. Working with her in a private lesson was just as exciting—at the time, I was singing baritone, and had Billy Budd’s aria in my package. To help me out, she told me how the first baritone to sing that role sang it, who just happened to be a friend of hers. That’s the beauty of Ms. Horne’s experience—she’ll tell you things that came right from the mouths of Britten or Stravinsky themselves.

Shawn in Oberlin Opera Theater’s fall 2018 production of Bernstein’s Trouble in Tahiti with castmate and mezzo-soprano Gabriela Linares ’21. What did your path to music and Oberlin look like? 

Whitney: Following my years of experience singing in the Livingston Parish Children’s Choir, I decided to audition for the New Orleans Center for Creative Arts, right in my hometown. After being admitted at the high school level, I skipped 8th grade and went straight into high school. I studied classical voice with Phyllis Treigle, expanded my art song repertory, participated in a number of opera scenes, and performed in two full operas. It was in those pivotal years that I discovered that opera was all I wanted to do. Throughout high school, I did summer opera intensives at Louisiana State University and the Brevard Music Center. It was during my junior year that my mom convinced me to go to Oberlin’s Vocal Academy for High School Students, and I fell in love with this school! I could just feel that Oberlin would help me grow into a more well-rounded artist. And, the conservatory immediately became my number-one pick for undergrad. Now, as I approach graduation, I realize how lucky I was to receive such a thorough music education from such a respected institution. I am so grateful to everyone that made my experience here such an exciting one! Shawn: So, although music was a constant in my life since day one, I had a lot of insecurity and anxiety about what to study in college. Where I’m from, the only real “path” for musically-inclined kids was to go to one of three or four state schools, get a degree in music education, and try your luck at applying for teaching jobs in the area. Three of my high school music teachers sat me down with my parents one day to try to scare me out of a performance-based career, because it was just such an “outlandish” idea. Of course, I chose Oberlin anyway. I think it’s worked out pretty well so far. So my advice for anyone who needs to hear it is this: Do what you want to be doing with your time. It’s not anyone else’s, and it’s the only thing you can’t get back once it’s gone. Now for a more uplifting story! The exact moment that I knew I wanted to sing for a living came while I was singing with a regional choir in my junior year of high school, led by an incredibly talented conductor, Chris Jackson. We were preparing Mozart’s Regina Coeli, which features a solo quartet out in front of the choir. Wanting that solo so badly and hoping to stand out, I called upon my official sponsor for this interview, Luciano Pavarotti, and just tried to sound like him as much as possible. It worked, and I got the solo! Singing out there in front of everyone activated the strongest emotional response to music I’ve ever had, and I knew then that I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. I still get that feeling when I perform, and it’s one of the strongest highs you can feel. I actually ended up running into Chris last summer, when we were both singing at the Yale School of Music’s Norfolk Festival. During a break in rehearsal, I re-introduced myself and thanked him for letting me discover my passion—then we went right back to singing, this time as colleagues. All the more proof that the classical music world is the smallest there is!

“Do what you want to be doing with your time. It’s not anyone else’s, and it’s the only thing you can’t get back once it’s gone.”

Whitney, Shawn, and fellow voice majors with guest master clinician and acclaimed vocal coach Gerald Martin Moore.    Do you have any advice for our incoming freshman singers?

Shawn: Have fun, and listen to each other. A large portion of your education comes from classes and lessons, but perhaps the most valuable things you’ll learn will come from your friends and colleagues. Be easy to work with—it will pay dividends in the long run. Even that still boils down to just being receptive to the people around you. Your entire time as an undergrad is an audition for all your peers, because they’ll be the ones who will get you jobs later on. And people who are easy to work with will be easy to employ. So show up with your music memorized, do the things the conductors ask you to do, and have fun with it, because that’s why we all do it at the end of the day. Also, learn German. The Germans already know English.

Whitney: Absolutely don’t forget to learn from your peers! Be supportive of each other—don’t tear each other down! Be a good colleague. Be respectful. Be prepared. Always be on time. It will only help you in the long run to have a reputation of being respectful and dependable. And, lastly, remember why you came to Oberlin. You came here to do what you love: sing opera. You are here to do it for you, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says. Have fun with it!

[kateanddevinreview]

London Has Fallen

In which Kate and Devin write a porno

Devin: Okay, so this movie is just Gerard Butler being a badass right? Is this the one with Denzel Washington? Or are neither of those things right.

Kate: It’s something like that.

Devin: Well, Butler showed up in the credits, but so did morgan freeman?

Kate: It’s a trifecta!!

Devin: Or maybe I'm just racist and mixed them up.

Kate: Or maybe it’s the two of them being badass together.

Devin: I made some comment the other day about minorities being underrepresented at the oscars or something and they asked what actors I think should win instead and I blanked on literally every minority actor I knew.

Kate: Hahahah. It’s still true though. And to be fair, could you name any white actors?

Devin: My brain got stuck on Tom Hardy and forgot literally every other actor on earth

Kate:I think he’s on tv now anyway. So far this movie is starting a bit slow. Do you think someone is going to be shot soon?

Devin: I find it weird that we are in....India?

Kate:  I think we’re at an Indian wedding. Terrorist’s daughter is getting married

Devin: This is set up for motive?

Kate: Probs

Devin: The Phantom of the Opera and Harvey Dent go for a jog

Kate: Why are politicians always running? I don’t think they do that much

Devin: I think cause DC? it's an easy excuse to pan around the lawn

Kate: Ok well fine, coming at me with movie reasons. Wait, is this a sequel?

Devin: Is it? Was the last one just called "London"?

Kate: I was thinking Gerald saved a president in the last one?

Devin: She has crazy eyes

Kate: She does but she’s pregnant

Devin:  I'll forgive it if we get through this movie without her vomiting.

Kate:  She’s in like her third tri already so she really shouldn’t

Devin:  Google says this is a sequel, to Olympus Has Fallen. Lots of stuff falling apparently

Kate: Knew it!!! I’ve seen that one too

Devin: Really? I'm guessing last time he saved President Harvey Dent from terrorists, wooed or impregnated his wife, and got hired for secret service or unfired from secret service

Kate: Unfired, if it’s what I’m thinking of

Devin: This time he'll save the Prime Minister from terrorists, see his kid born, and...uh. Be knighted? That's my guess

Kate: Seems like a totally logical guess to me. I’m betting he discovers the Prime Minister was murdered. I don’t think people are expected to attend state funerals?

Devin: I think it's cause his vice isn't available? I think normally this is the kind of thing they send him for. But I am basing that on episodes of Madam Secretary so who knows

Kate: New guess!! President is killed and Butler has to protect Freeman

Devin: Hmmm. Maybe. Is Freeman the Vice?

Kate: Yes. He said “Hello, Mr VP”

Devin: I'm missing like half of this dialogue, idk how

Kate: Cause it’s boring

Devin: I want splosions!

Kate: This baby melodrama music is not my favorite. Once again I feel like writing is letting us down?

Devin: Yeah. Be better hollywood!

Kate: Also important people shouldn’t just sign shit without looking at it

Devin: is this the fringe guy? No. Who is he? He's someone

Kate: I think? No?

Devin: Fringe guy is similar but different. Oh! The Magicians? Magicians teacher guy?

Kate: No, definitely not him

Devin: IMDBing....

Kate: “Most protected event on earth”= everyone will die

Devin: Yup. This cast listing order is stupid. Do we know British Gerard Butler's name?

Kate: You mean the head of the British security? Also no. Also I think they’re going to use kids?

Devin: Yes, British guy. Mr. Sands! From Limitless. Thanks wikipedia, for your superior cast list

Kate: Limitless. That’s right, I never watched much of that

Devin: I really liked the main guy and all the arts and crafts in that show. I'm sad it was cancelled. Also we should add the movie to our review list

Kate: Yes!

Devin: Splosion! I didn't think those guards were supposed to have real guns? Then again EMTs should definitely not have rocket launchers

Kate: Hahaha, yeah, those cops are definitely plants. It’s clearly a very well orchestrated attack

Devin: Pretty sure only america gives their cops guns. Also, rocket launcher

Kate: Wow I don’t care how this movie ends the world would not recover from this

Devin: Yeah Kate, it's fallen. Show. Us. The. Egg. It's not London unless I see the big glass egg and the ferris wheel

Kate: How did they know that one president wouldn’t leave on time?

Devin: Trackers? Or they caused the traffic?

Kate: No, he decided?

Devin: Motorcycles, a car's only weakness

Kate: Nice driving!

Devin: Don't injure civilians!

Kate: Ummmm, Devin. I think that ship has sailed.

Devin: He rammed the bad guy into a non bad guy car!

Kate: Oh fuck. Ok so who is the black lady? Is she the First Lady?

Devin: Voight buddy, you could have moved. He's the driver, she's the head of secret service

Kate: He was driving! It was a bullet! Give him some credit. Is she?

Devin: Yes. According to wikipedia

Kate: She’s not doing much. And she hunkered with the president?

Devin: Right? Stop flailing. Where is your gun, woman?

Kate: Oh god. That was brutal

Devin: That was very brutal

Kate: Why didn’t they park closer to the chopper?

Devin: Crashing in 3...2...oh ok nvm

Kate: Hahaha

Devin: He's got a cane so you know he's evil

Kate: So true

Devin: Moral of this movie: don't trust the handicapped

Kate: And yet, they didn’t detect a plan of this magnitude

Devin: Uh, did those people just have labels?

Kate: Yes. NSA and something else

Devin:  Like, movie? Movie. We do not care

Kate: I’m assuming it will be important later?

Devin: Why is the lady not doing anything?

Kate: Nice, flares! I like flares. Why are they flying so low anyway?

Devin: I got distracted googling the secret service

Kate: Anything pertinent to share?

Devin: Apparently the director just does the boring shit, so idk why she's even here

Kate: Ummmm, I think the movie should end here?

Devin: Yes they all died. The End

Kate: No way anyone survived that. I call bullshit

Devin: Also, I assumed presidents would have like one guy their whole time in office? But apparently they hire someone new a lot. Oh she dead.

Kate: For the secret service?

Devin: As director. Like Obama had 2

Kate: I mean, that’s four years for each

Devin: Trump has already had 2. The first guy for like 2 months? 1 month?

Kate: Well, Trump does that a lot. He’s had like 8 communication directors

Devin: I just wonder if they choose to leave or if the president purposefully swaps them out

Kate: Also working for the president is really intense, so maybe you just burn out and have to leave

Devin: Makes sense. The local biker gang is here

Kate: I don’t think bikes make that noise. That is dumb

Devin: Yes. Also no one checked the wreck

Kate: At least we know from earlier scenes they are fast runners!

Devin: This looks like he put his manifesto on youtube

Kate: What point is there in entertaining this phone call? Also why does he care about one president?

Devin: Imagine if he called before they watched the video! Like 5 minutes earlier

Kate: Right? He should take the uniform too

Devin: 

"Who is this?"

"It's...seriously? You didn't see my video?"

"h/o googling it"

"It's on youtube"

"yeah one sec, gotta sit through this 50 shade of grey trailer"

Kate: Ahhhhhhh Being hunted by motorbikes!! Oh no

Devin: Sure, that's subtle. Also this is a regular subway

Kate: I like that he was able to loot the body for weapons. Very practical

Devin: Jesus Gerard Butler. WTF? You went from zero to torture in no time

Kate: I know, little intense. Definitely running on adrenaline

Devin: This is the most 'murrican fucking movie. You cannot convince me that huge squads of racists didn't come out of this movie going "rah rah ‘murrica"

Kate: Oh god. Unfortunately yes

Devin: Although these talky bits suck. I'd rather have more fighting. Oh, thanks label, I really cared what time it was

Kate: Everyone is dead, that’s what this discussion is. I mean surrender and then ambush. How many people do they think there are? You’re not going to be professional right now? Weird

Devin: Blah blah blah. Bitch it was a wedding. Of course his family was there

Kate: How did you not know his family was there? It was a wedding. So dumb

Devin: What even is the point of that dialogue? There better be drugs in his water or something

Kate: What kind of shoddy intel are you all operating on? This is dumb. Do criticize if necessary. You have to teach them. Also off color jokes?

Devin: "You know what's most important Mike? Children. That's why we are never going to spend time with ours in any subsequent movie."

Kate: Of course it’s not your delta team.

Devin: Yeah why was that message not in code?

Kate: Zoom in!

Devin: Enhance! Your safe house has a fucking skylight!?

Kate: Seems like a pretty lame safe house. Oh this is gross

Devin: This movie is very gratuitous with its gore

Kate: It really is. And president you should not have done that. You are not almost out of this by any long shot

Devin:  There must be a porno of this where they fuck right then

Kate:  Did all of MI6 just die?

Devin: I'm not going to lie, that weird pirate porno you made us watch that one time is better than this movie

Kate: Haha! Oh pirates. Also my taste is terrible because I still enjoy this

Devin: I don't believe the hackers would make this basic of a mistake

Kate: No, me neither

Devin: Also driving seems like the quickest way to be spotted?

Kate: They kept everything under the radar but you didn’t notice this earlier?

Devin: Ok I guess at least the car is bulletproofed

Kate: How many of these terrorists are there supposed to be?

Devin: It's just the same 4 guys, they're really fast. They keep healing when they're off screen

Kate: Seems like an infinite supply. Mutants!! Also Mike is still somehow always faster

Devin: Now I want an action movie where 3/4 of the way through you realize he's been re-killing the same 5 guys over and over and surprise! it's really a fantasy/horror movie!

Kate: That would be so good. Change the whole game. I do oddly think this would make a good porno with very very little change

Devin: It's cause there's so much standing really close while breathing heavily and the plot is basically just as thin

Kate: Yeah pretty much. It’s a male romance novel

Devin: Also there have been.....5 women? in this entire movie. 6, I guess. Wife, mother, secret service director, beehive, assistant cop, MI6

Kate: Assistant cop?

Devin: Black lady?

Kate: I don’t remember her

Devin: She was in the bullpen with not!Fringe guy

Kate: Ok sure

Devin: Oh, ok, and random lady who had a text label I didn't read

Kate: There was the turning 30 woman and one lady head of state.

Devin: Still, none of these people shooting right now? There's like 20 guys in this scene!

Kate: Nope. Can’t have women in harm’s way unless they don’t have a choice. Also no lady terrorists

Devin: Only lady terrorists allowed are dead motivation ones

Kate: Also I’m subbing lady because it’s faster to type than woman

Devin: Agreed

Kate: Omg. Whispered “Mike.” Straight out of a romance novel

Devin: What? Are you ahead of me or did I miss it?

Kate: Maybe? The president whispered it

Devin: No! I must have missed the Mike whisper

Kate: He should be really tired by now. He didn’t have dinner!

Devin: "Hear that? My boyfriend is coming"

Kate: He really should just kill the president. It doesn’t make sense not to

Devin: There is so much manly eye contact and face holding

Kate: So much

Devin: Like I'm pretty sure almost this exact sequence happened in Outlander

Kate: In the porn there would be a scene where the president seduced him, Mike walked in on it, and then they have a threesome

Devin: With the bad guy?

Kate: Yup

Devin: That seems like it would be out of place plot wise. Would the bad guy turn himself in or something?

Kate: No. Just random sex that doesn’t make sense

Devin: Weird. The sex should make sense!

Kate: It’s for real a thing that happens in porn, you get whiplash. Oh god. This is lame. Really?

Devin: One punch where he runs all the way across the screen. So stupid

Kate: Did we learn who the brit mole was?

Devin: Nope. They hacked the police station I think? Damn! Wheelchair guy didn't even get to make a speech about how bad America is. This movie is not even pretending to care about America's mistakes

Kate: Why didn’t he just shoot everyone?

Devin: Out of bullets?

Kate: He hasn’t run out of guns until now

Devin: What even is this dialogue right now?

Kate: Really dumb

Devin: "You fuck with America? OH HELL NO. WE BAT SHIT. WE WILL FUCKING MURDER ALL Y'ALL."

Kate: America’s not even 500. Witty banter!

Devin: "EVEN OUR PRESIDENT WILL PICK UP A GUN FOR MURDER TIME"

Kate: Also he’s not dead because you haven’t killed him?

Devin: Yeah you just punched him a bit and talked nonsense

Kate: Once again, another thing they wouldn’t have survived.

Devin: I feel like the porno version of this has them go back to their wives at the end with lots of meaningful looks and sly smiles between the two main dudes. Like "yeah, we'll do this again next mission"

Kate:  Oh no! But yes probably. Why was there a lock in an elevator?

Devin: Is the president the only one alive from this whole thing? They would definitely make out in this elevator

Kate: I think one other world leader survived? There was a missing link to the terrorist?

Devin: I guess?

Kate: Who sent a fucking video?

Devin: Honestly this plot is stupid Yeah he's def the mole. Also he's running away? Like he obviously did it

Kate: Are we supposed to care about him or her? Because I do not

Devin: They would have had sex earlier in the porno

Kate: Yeah. It would have made more sense. Just kill him already

Devin: Also she would have just arrested him. I feel like the porno would have less murder

Kate: It’s weird that normally I complain about too much sex? But this would just be better as a porn

Devin: Yeah our review is basically "this would have made a better porno"

Kate: How would you have found him?

Devin: Who hears "look out your window" and looks up at the ceiling? Oh maybe that's what the missing link was?

Kate: Also the VP does not have the authority to call that type of strike

Devin: What is this 10 angled shot explosion? Ok, we've got a baby

Kate: So it’s been at least a few weeks

Devin: No prime minister but I didn't realize it was his funeral so I feel like the president is close enough. Now knighthood

Kate: Sure. They don’t know how emails work? Re: is for replies

Devin: "Many people would say this is our fault, but we're america so fuck those people. we'll kill those people."

Kate: “Commence spending no time with my kid”

Devin: In the porno version we end instead with a mirror of the earlier DC lawn scene, with them sitting on a bench watching their wives/kids, and the pres saying something like "still want to quit?" and Butler saying "and leave you, sir? Never." And then meaningful eye contact. Roll credits.

Kate: Hahahah

Devin: Okay, so scores

Kate: Yes. Scores.

Devin: 3/10 for the movie, 6/10 for the porno

Kate: I go a little higher movie? Like 4.5 for the movie.  6 for porno though. I think we can agree that no porn should ever rank higher than 7

Devin: Yeah. Like, even amazing porn is still porn

Kate: Ummmm tropes? So many, “family as our motivation”

Devin: “America is terrible and we never learn anything”?

Kate: Which is so hypocritical

Devin: “One man assumes command of literally every other character without argument”

Kate: Hahahaha. So like 7 on the tropes? They all fit the plot really well

Devin: Yeah, I mean it had a very particular niche and it played to it

Kate: Exactly

Devin: I'm going to give the title an 8/10. Catchy and accurate

Kate: I can agree. Thematic

Devin: London did pretty much fall. Like an old lady in a Life Alert commercial

Kate: Better than Olympus has fallen

Devin: Yeah, plus how fucking pretentious is it to call the white house "olympus"?

Kate: Exactly

Devin: What would the porn title be? I feel like they're usually puns?

Kate: Pun for sure. London may fall but our guys stay up

Devin: kind of long

Kate: It could be the tagline?

Devin: Oh yeah, good tagline. My brain gave me "Banging Private Ryan" which does not fit but is almost certainly a movie that exists

Kate: Hahahahaha. Banging president something? Whatever his name was

Devin: No idea, I called him Harvey Dent the whole movie. London Goes Down?

Kate: London laid down? Cause laid. Get it?

Devin: H/o I have to see if there is a real porn title for this. NSA people monitoring my internet searches, I'm really sorry

Kate: Gives them some spice! A story to take home

Devin: Top result for "London Has Fallen Porn Title" is:

"London Has Fallen movie condemned as racist 'terrorsploitation' "

"London Has Fallen is gun-barrel porn"

Kate: Whelp. Yep. I feel bad for enjoying it?

Devin: "London Has Fallen Is The Worst Film About Our City Ever"

Kate: Oh no it was a piece of shit for sure. Super fucking racist

Devin: “Blowing London.” That's my official submission

Kate: Nice! “Blowing London” is great. I thought you’d actually found it.

Devin: Ok, any parting words?

Kate:  It was a dumb racist movie that I feel guilty for enjoying anyway? Which means we should have more action movies made with better plots and motivation. And female representation!

Devin:  Or more action movies that are just porn

Kate:  Or that. What about you? Parting words?

Devin: If you want to see a movie where Gerard Butler brutally murders everyone, this is it. Or, you know, go watch 300, it is less awful.

Kate: So true.