#and theres a difficult choice waiting for him?

[namelessprince]

they are so fucked as soon as they reopen the hole in the sea. theyre doomed to open it no matter what but man. if things seem bad now.....

[superm4ks]

Austria obvi been a doozy to process but 1 part of the conversation thats always interesting to me is how people are taking Max and Lando's battle as a textbook example of 'dirty' racing and comparing it wid other battles that are seen as 'clean'. Heres the thing tho, the choices both those drivers made in those laps dont have 'clean' alternatives that wud have benefited them in that moment. It was an inevitable type of confrontation. At least for the most part.

Clean/dirty racing in this generation of very wide cars literally just a matter of is there a significant enough delta to give one of the cars lap advantage or not. If there is, u get something like George and Landos lil dance in Spain. One of the cars has better tire wear, is faster, so its just a matter of waiting for the right time to make a move and build a gap. Its clean because its a waiting game, its not a battle at all. But if the cars are more evenly matched, and more importantly, if the driver defending/attacking is actually willing to defend/attack, thats when it becomes too close for comfort and as racing drivers what ur basically saying is, I am willing to take that risk because I need to gain ((or I need to keep)) advantage.

Something thats also been interesting is how people have perceived each drivers role in this particular 'dirty' battle.

I been reading and watching a lot of analysis of those laps and one of the things that jumps out immediately is that theres this assumption that Max had to get out of the way. He just had to. The fact that he didnt is what made the battle 'dirty' and the onus of 'cleaning' it was on him. When u press that narrative, and u ask the simple question of why wud a racing driver even consider allowing another one to pass him, the argument turns into endangerment. It was dangerous that Max didn't let Lando pass. The tactics Max employed to defend his line were dangerous. Follow up question, why does it matter if they're dangerous when ur literally racing cars 200 miles per hour. Oh, because what Max did specifically is not allowed'. And what is that, specifically. Then the 3 ghosts of under braking past come into ur house to offer Max a chance of redemption. And u think, why are they here. Wheres the telemetry, the wheel input, the driver cam, the stewarding precedence, the actual rule, that allows some hypothetical idea of intentional harm to even enter this conversation. But it doesn't matter anymore, because it has set the tone for how ur gonna deal wid Max's role in a 'dirty' battle vs Lando's. Lando will, inevitably, become a victim of Max, not an active participant in a battle for the lead. Max's tactics are dangerous, while Lando's were necessary.

Ant Davidson starts his analysis on skypad by comparing Max setting up a corner to Baku 2018. Baku happened in a straight, and both drivers were reprimanded for it. I personally think Max shud not have weaved in a straight like that, but thats my opinion, its not reflective of the sporting rules. Late maneuvers are dangerous but they're not necessarily illegal, not just when it comes to defending, but also attacking. What Ant Davidson does in this opening analogy is setting the tone of HIS opinion. And its interesting to me that he finishes the segment, in which at several points he talks of Lando's choices in first person, wid 'I rest my case'. The fact that he had a 'case' at all and feels comfortable admitting it is kind of shocking until u realize that the objective of his 'stewarding' is to turn defending into a punishable act because Max was the one doing it, and Max is 'dirty'. In no instance are Lando's late maneuvers questioned because, we go the back to the original point, Lando was entitled to make them. He was entitled to pass. Max, however, is not entitled to defend.

Johnny herbert who was one of the stewards in Austria, said that they looked at Max's defensive maneuvering and it was 'clever' and made Lando's life difficult but it was not clear it was under braking. He said Max positions his car very well but sometimes goes beyond the drivers 'unwritten code'. Then, regarding specifically the incident in t3, he says some people claim Lando could have moved and yes maybe but he was right not to, because it showed Max he was prepared to 'fight back' and he can 'beat Max at his own game'. Lando did not complete a single overtake in Austria. Not once did he get ahead of Max where he didnt have to fall back again. But because they bumped and Max was penalized, this is a net positive for him. The underlying implication here is that anything that threatens Max's position on track is a net positive for the driver, and for the sport. About how this battle will affect Lando, Johnny says, 'up until Austria Max had always won. Now he is not winning. It will be interesting to see how Lando responds. He will now be in a better place after what has happened. He has realized he knows he has a chance of beating Max at his own game.' Lando finished a race pointless the day after he got fleeced in a sprint. I dont think this was a positive grand prix for him. I think he engaged in a few laps of hard racing wid Max that ended in a puncture for both. Thats not important though. He challenged Max. Johnny seems content wid just that.

The issue is not that Lando isnt a victim because Max is, nor that pundits are not allowed to be biased, or that Max shud not have been penalized. Whats been bugging me about the reaction to Austria is that once something like that happens and it involves Max, its no longer about what actually took place or the dynamic between drivers that allowed it to escalate, its about deciding whether or not the battle was dirty, and how is that dirtiness attributed to a single actor. It takes motor racing and turns it into the weighing of souls. And Max's will always be heavier.

[thornswoggled]

yori is fumiki and heres why: my manifesto

or: wait, we werent all on the same page about this?

i should have written this when i first read chapter 98, but im only getting around to it now. this is less me trying to convince you, the reader, and more hoarding all my collected thoughts on why yori is absolutely fumiki, if its a red herring its a silly one, and if he isnt or if its left ambiguous forever i will eat crow. here we go:

before i start let me say most of my evidence is the way yamazaki frames him visually rather than solid "proof." comics are an artform, theres a reason things get framed the way they do, and her artistic choices in ch 98 (i feel) are meant to serve as a big blinking neon light that says "you should be feeling this way about xyz right now"

iic, there were rumblings of "the young auditor" being fumiki as far back as his introduction in ch 51 due to to his unique ability:

which is essentially a refined version of fumikis innate ability to keep fae away. we know yori is part of a "family business," and it seems appropriate that with the proper training, he would be able to freeze fae in their tracks rather than simply ward them off

unfortunately this is where "evidence" ends and "vibes" begin

chapter 51 didnt get adapted into what was otherwise a pretty faithful adaptation in season 2, and i understand why - theres a lot going on, and this chapter is fairly out of left field. but theres one other quip that got left out of season 2:

this is a one-off thought that wouldnt have been difficult to include in the anime. imo, i believe this line from ch 62 didnt get animated because we hadnt met fumiki yet like we did in the manga. now, onto more recent chapters... (under a read more because this is going to get pretty long)

chise and yoris first meeting is framed in a very purposeful way. in chapter 98, elias is preoccupied with ousting all the outsiders so that he and chise can be alone, stuck on the idea that "christmas is for family only:"

and three pages later, who do we meet?

im really struck by the way chise and yori are drawn together here. personally, i dont read this as "chise is meeting a new unimportant side character," this is "the strings of fate have pulled us miraculously back together again"

waiter! waiter! can i get an order of drifting sakura petals and sparkles with this panel? am i waxing poetic here or do you see it? the way theres no background drawn here, no other characters, even in later pages when we know elias is standing right behind chise, he doesnt get included in frame so that its just the two of them:

while im at it, can we appreciate how theyre wearing the same outfit? black pants and a hip-length dark coat/sweater with oversized pockets, a collar, and six left-sided buttons. yoris dark gloves also evoke chises cursed arm here but i dont want to risk looking like a maniac any more than i already do. i mean... dude, look at them, theyre matching

speaking of matching, lets pop back to 51 for a sec

both yori and chise have canine familiars! actually, it looks like yori might have multiple - look at all those pokeballs i mean bamboo tubes in his coat. if my memory serves, we didnt know yori was japanese at this point, but everyone assumed so because of the appearance of this familiar... which was another log on the "this might be fumiki" fire

fun fact: this little dude is almost certainly a kuda-kitsune, which were said to be kept in tubes and summoned by a soothsayer, who could use it to perform curses, or tell the past and future

and the drama with which we find out his "name":

"i bet you were expecting me to say fumiki, huh. good luck im not giving you that this early you have to work for it." as far as aliases go, "ri" could be derived from "hatori," but neither of the kanji in "fumiki" can be read as "yo," so its probably just random

after yori leaves, we get another repetition of "christmas is for family," which at this point feels like yamazaki is leading us to water and dunking our head in it:

i think its awfully convenient that ruth was absent for chises exchange with yori. do you think he would have been able to smell that theyre related? or whiffed the kuda-kitsune in his coat?

right after this, too, we get this line from elias which i have been thinking about a lot:

theres a few different ways this could be read, so im not married to any one interpretation, but it could be foreshadowing "if chise decides to pursue a relationship with her estranged family, what will i do then?" as gabriella would say, "i hate to be a third wheel"

given what we have seen of yoris aloof personality, i have to imagine there will be drama if/when the reveal is made. sadly i can picture him actually pushing chise away if she tries to reestablish a relationship with him

now! that is pretty much where my thoughts end, but i do want to share questions/doubts i have:

if yori read all of simons reports to determine he was an unfit observer, there is no way he doesnt know chises full name. i wonder whether he had any reaction to it? he may assume that its just a coincidence. i briefly wondered if the hatori name was an invention by yuuki, until i remembered that the family chise stays with in the OVA also has the same name. unless yuuki was adopted by another family like seth...? dont mind me, im going pepe silvia mode over here

have i mentioned i talked about yuuki before in another theory post? take it with a grain of salt, i already got proven wrong on one front now that jasper has been introduced

will yuuki be reintroduced if fumiki is? i desperately want chise to get that closure, but this scene from ch 42 has a sense of finality to it, a sort of "you will never get to resolve things with your father or see his side of things" stank:

... actually, now that ive mentioned the kuda-kitsune, can we look at this thing again?

another word for the kuda-kitsune is "izuna," which is read in modern japanese as "weasel." could the critter whos watching yuuki here come from the same place as yoris familiars? yuuki leaves his family immediately after this - getting summoned maybe?

okay, okay, let me stop myself here before i start looking like im ranting and raving. can we talk about the mail, please, mac? ive been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, ok? "pepe silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. every day pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. pepe silvia! pepe silvia! i look in the mail, and this whole box is pepe silvia!

if youre a fence-sitter, what are your thoughts? do you think we just dont have enough evidence yet? inquiring minds want to know

[t4transara]

alice in borderland headcanons that make me go insane 🚙 season 2 spoliers under the cut!

cw suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, self loathing, mentions of blood, using cigarettes as a coping mechanism, implied arisu x usagi, angst overload ☆

kuina and chishiya had this secret meeting spot only both of them knew where they sometimes talk about anything that comes out of their head which eventually ends with one of them opening up about their life before the game along with their own struggles. when chishiya went missing after the king of spades appeared, sometimes kuina would go there hoping he would be there but he never showed up.

usagi and arisu sleep together in the same tent, sometimes when arisu is sleeping he tends to have nightmares about his friends which causes him to start crying in his sleep. usagi comforts arisu as tears fall out of his eyes, apologizing to her for being a burden and he needs to be strong if he wants to protect her. usagi continues reassuring arisu telling him he was never a burden and she is already happy with him in her life. the tears stopped dropping and arisu pulled usagi for a tight hug, both of them spared no words but continued to be each others arm for the entire night.

tatta never had real friends his entire life was filled with fake people and he could never express himself with others fearing that they would look down on him, it suddenly disappeared when he started to get more closer with arisu and expressing his personality and humor more. arisu never judged him but laughed and smiled at his stupid comments and remarks, tatta never felt more happier in his entire life.

chishiya smokes a cigarette when he needs get something off his head, he often reminisces about his life wandering whether the choices he made as a doctor was partially his fault. even though his boss told him it wasn’t still it hold no purpose for chishiya because it eats him up from the inside no matter how much he tries to deny it.

ann is interested in photography she owns a digital camera and captures of what she thinks is beautiful. in a world filled with so much despair and horrible things happening she wants to be reminded theres always something good waiting behind the dark.

arisu, chota, karube as a joke had matching bracelets for their friendship anniversary. when chota and karube died in the 7 of hearts game, arisu checked on them to see if they still had theirs to his shock they still wore their bracelets he took them from their bloody bodies and carries it with him to honor their death. whenever arisu is going through a difficult time he always manages to get a bit of strength knowing a piece of his bestfriends were with him.

aguni misses takeru alot, he misses his presence and memories he had with him he wonders whether if he should have died in the beach and joined his bestfriend instead. suicide lingers a lot in the back of his head sometimes he hears his bestfriends voice tempting him to do it. the thought eventually gets to him and he sets a date where he would then heiya unexpectedly appears in his life and a part of her reminds him of takeru but he doesnt know why, but he doesnt want to repeat his mistake again and he chooses to protect heiya. she eventually grows on aguni sometimes he accidentally calls her by his deceased bestfriends name, she gets confused about it but decides not to act upon it when she sees a slight spark in his eyes when he mentions that unfamiliar name.

chishiya knows how cruel the world is towards the unfortunate he seen it himself as a doctor. he came to the terms to suppress his feelings not expressing it to anyone, it eventually leads him to lack any empathy towards anyone. no matter how much he forces himself to understand he doesnt feel anything when he sees someone on their knees begging for their life after losing a game. so why did it feel different during the jack of heart game, when he saw his partner, ippeis lifeless body? this was supposed to be normal for him to see such a horrifying sight of someones life being taken during a game. instead he feels remorseful remembering how ippei wished for all of this to end so nobody else would die in a such sincere tone. chishiya himself remembers and heard countless last words of the people he was partnered before they got killed, so why does this feel different?

[soobibabe]

scripted hearts teaser

pairings: jeon jungkook + reader. genre: romantic comedy (including eventual smut.) trope: actor/actress au, work romance, friends to lovers.

"And, scene. That's it for today everyone, good work!" the director shouts from behind the camera, wrapping off the recording.

But for you, there is a pause. The tension is so high in the room that for the first time, you can't distinguish yourself from your character anymore. Your co-stars' hands are around your waist, eyes meeting yours with so much intensity, it makes you dizzy.

The sound of the other actors calling your names for team dinner snaps you both back into reality. You're not sure what that was.

This isn't your first film with Jungkook. A few years ago, you worked together in your debut drama. It was one in which he was the second male lead and you were the main character's best friend.

Now, you're the main character. Jungkook, your leading man.

You're not used to romance dramas, you typically take on thriller roles. Maybe that's why filming scenes like these with close contact with him makes your heart pound out of your chest.

He clears his throat, "We should get going..." Did he feel it too? "yeah, let's go" you reply, reluctantly peeling yourself away from his embrace to return to your dressing room.

At dinner, Jungkook sits next to you and everyone's engaged in conversation. Perhaps you've had a little too much to drink, you're usually reserved but right now you can't help but feel so free. You're laughing at everything, smiling a lot more, and even making stupid jokes, your co-workers are perplexed.

"Cute".

You turn your head to Jungkook and he's already looking at you with the same enamored expression he has when you're filming 'Eternal Summer'. He's definitely not drunk, did he really say that?

"What is it?" you ask. "Nothing. You look pretty." he responds, causing you to blush at the unexpected compliment. What has gotten into him...

You wake up in your bed, not remembering when or how you got home. 'Did my manager pick me up?' There's a honey hangover on your nightstand. 'How thoughtful of Yura.'

Today's the day you have to do the promotion photoshoot with Jungkook. You're used to these, you recently shot one with Kim SO-Hyun for a commercial so it shouldn't be difficult, but this is Jeon Jungkook, the national heartthrob.

When you get there, your manager runs through the concept with you. "Thanks for the hangover curse by the way" Yura looks at you as you voice this, puzzled.

"Hey didn't I tell you not to drink if you can't remember what happened after?" She begins to scold.

"Oh! ahaha i was just kiddin-" you begin. "Y/n! Which outfit are we doing first?" Jungkook calls across the room, enraptured looking at the choices.

"Coming!" you yell back, smiling it Yura, thankful Jungkook's excitement saved you from an earful.

[after the shoot]

"Did you get the honey cure?" Jungkook inquires.

Your eyes widen at his sudden question. Theres no way you were that blacked-out. shit. "Wait, that was you?"

"Do you not remember?" his head tilts to the side, eyebrow quirking to match your confused expression.

You pause to think.

"Oh my god" you whisper under your breath, looking away from the taller figure, as the memories of last night run through your head like a 1900s stop-motion film.

[summarised text-version:] 1. Falling asleep on Jeon Jungkook's shoulder at the table. The group was too busy chatting and drunk themselves to notice your head on his strong arms. 2. Jungkook, realizing your sleepy state, gently nudging you awake and offering to drive you home. You refuse. Insisting that you were perfectly fine to walk, much to Jungkook's amusement. 3. Defeatedly allowing him the grace of escorting you home. Him wrapping his arm around your waist to steady you as you wobbled out of the restaurant. You, in your drunken haze, telling him he smelled nice, causing him to laugh softly. 4. After lots of sulking the whole car ride about how you were totally fine and could have stayed for more drinks, you arrived at your estate. You fumbled with your keys until Jungkook finally took them from you, opening the door. Once you're inside, you're reminded of just how lonely this huge place is. 5. Inviting Jeon Jungkook into your home. Once you're inside, you're reminded of just how isolating this huge place is. "Can you stay a little longer? I'm not tired yet, and it's too lonely here to entertain myself to sleep." you asked in pout, slurring your words unknowingly. Jungkook's eyes scanned your face attempting to examine if you were being serious, the sadden expression you displayed told him all that he needed to know. "Sure, no problem." he flashed a smile. "What do you wanna do? Talk? Movies? Games?" "All of the above!" you exclaim, eyes closed and hand in the air throwing an excited grin. "Adorable" he whispers inaudibly to you and ruffles your hair. 6. Passing time with a beautiful man in your abode. You lead him into your kitchen where you show him your wine collection, your beer fridge, and finally, your pantry, all of which you make known that he can access at any time. You make your way to your living room where you set up the consoles while he does whatever he's doing in the kitchen. Shortly after, jungkook joins you with 2 beers and ramen, sitting beside you taking the console out of your hand. "Missed me?" he asked, jokingly. "Ramen! What a man you are, Jeon." you say with a teasing tone. You really do appreciate his effort. You play whilst waiting for the food to cool down, the tension in the room rising when you grow competitive, annoyed at how astonishingly good jungkook is at this stupid game. "hey! you're cheating!" you dodge when his hand sneaks up to your side, endeavoring to tickle you, eliciting a laugh from him. In the end, jungkook wins all 3 matches, poking fun at your post-loss temper. But after a while passes, you're back in your haze again, Jungkook doesn't miss the sadness in your eyes when you look at him. "Are you okay? How come you drank so much? I remember when we shot 'Ephemeral' you refused to drink at team gatherings." his tender eyes soften upon meeting yours. "You're more observant than I realised. I became more open to drinking after Seo-Joon and I broke up" that's all you say before chugging the rest of your beer.

"Oh, I'm sorry for bringing that up then," he starts, but you interrupt him by saying; "Don't be. He couldn't make me cum anyway." Jungkook's jaw drops, expression changing from guilt to one of shock, and... pity?

"But -- weren't you with him for... a year?" he speaks as though he can't believe what he's saying. "Yeah well, his ego was too big for me to have burst it by telling him I didn't finish, so I just faked it." the alcohol seemed to make you more honest.

"It is what it is," you laugh it off, "don't look so startled".

"What about now?" his question catches you off guard this time. "Have you been able to get off?" the alcohol is probably getting to him now.

"I haven't been with anyone else since if that's what you're asking, but sometimes I just don't have the time to you know - do it myself." you admit, and he's stunned.

"How about I help you?" with the face of the person asking, you don't need much convincing. "When? right now?" you ask, a little puzzled.

"Wow, I didn't know you wanted me that badly," he smirks "No silly, not now. When you're sober, if you need me, you can have me." with that being said, your cheeks are now a new shade of red and it's not from the alcohol.

"I'm gonna go get another beer," you announce before drifting out into the dark halls to your kitchen, ignoring that you can practically hear your heartbeat racing.

When you come back to the living room, Jungkook has already switched the videogames to Netflix, waiting for your return to start 'The Notebook'.

Halfway into the movie, you fall asleep on his shoulder for the second time that night. He cleans up, trying not to move too much in order to not wake you.

He lifts you bridal style -- like you were a feather, taking you to your room and tucking you into your bed. Before he leaves. he goes back into the fridge to take out the honey hangover remedy he made when you arrived, placing it on your bedside table for when you wake up.

[the end >.<] There are many gaps in the flashback of last night, however, that doesn’t stop you from being flushed with embarrassment. "Jungkook I am so sorry about-"

"I had fun. We should hang out more." he shuts down your apology, subsequently ridding you of any overthinking that was about to take place in your head.

“I agree,” you speak before giving much thought to your answer — did you answer too quickly?

“Like right now. My blood sugars low from all that losing i want a sweet treat” he interrupts before you can attempt to modify your response. It’s like he can see right through you.

You’re still processing Jungkook’s comment when he continues, a playful glint in his eye. “How about we head to that café down the street for some dessert? I heard they have the best pastries in town.”

The idea of spending more time with him, especially in a relaxed setting, fills you with a mix of excitement and apprehension. You nod, trying to keep your composure. “That sounds great. Let me just grab my jacket.”

A/N: Currently, there is no official release date for the full story. However, I am eager to hear your thoughts on the storyline so far.

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[teethkid67]

you begin your sunday on the couch, dress shoes still on, with a headache and a handful of stale gummy worms from the party last night. schlatt begins his with a cigar, and quackity starts with his arm as an ashtray. fundy is outside picking shotgun shells and fireball bottles out of the grass before you've even had time to say good morning.

it is not a good morning. dark like chew tobacco and slow as tar you realize no-one is coming to save you anymore. quackity won't look you in the eye, but he bites his cheek to keep his grin down as his gaze roams the walls like he can't wait to tear the place apart.

schlatt is the first to take something off the wall: an old, ugly painting wilbur picked up at a homegoods a million years ago. something he surely never gave much of a shit about, but you still flinch when schlatt lifts it from the nail and instructs you to get a garbage bag. but you fetch one and hold it open for him and then, when you put up no fight, and fundy is still outside, and quackity is still all shark smile, he tells you to start cleaning.

that is what it takes for them to begin picking your house to the bones. its methodically at first, dumping old takeaway boxes and draining vodka bottles, then harsh and uncaring like a flood or a struggle, toppling lamps and breaking mirrors. you dutifully pick up solo cups and half-empty pretzel bags and just as dutifully ignore anything that's not evidence of a party. eventually this catches up with you when schlatt tells you to kick it into fuckin' gear, kid, and jerks his chin at the fucking telephone of all things, this place isn't gonna clean itself.

a few minutes later quackity hands you an armful of everything that used to be pinned to your white fridge, looking a little sheepish but frankly not all that guilty. an old worksheet of fundy's is whats at the top of the stack, sunbleached from the window above the sink and with a broken chunk of now-gummy magnet stuck to the page.

WRITE about a time you had to make a difficult decision, it reads in big letters. explain what the decision was and what choice you made. At the top is a big, circled 100.

report cards and sticky notes and novelty magnets are joined by your vomit in the big bin at the curb. with your hands on your knees you take inventory. theres a box of shampoo and soap bars taken from the bathroom, and a bag of bedsheets and pillowcases. theres schlatt's car in your driveway and it makes your heart jackrabbit. wilbur doesn't drive. even if he did, his car wouldn't be out front.

you go back inside and take on the rest of the house with a newfound sense of numbness—emptying your stomach had probably helped. fundy has appeared again, and you help him bag up the books that schlatt had swiped off the mantle to make room for his shotgun. no matter what you do, he won't say a word to you.

eventually you are both led by an eager quackity to the backyard shed, where he hands you a hatchet and fundy a hacksaw and tells you to take down the fence.

schlatt says no more fence, he says, why would we need a fucking fence? so we gotta take the stupid thing down.

you swallow your pride with globs of spit and swing for the support beams so fundy, who quickly abandoned the hacksaw, can tear out the boards with his bare hands. he's mad, if the look on his face and the way he pries at the panels are any indication. at who is anyones guess. you're starting to think it might not be schlatt. quackity arms himself with a chainsaw and has a great, violent time laughing and breaking the wood into manageable sizes for your fireplace.

schlatt comes to lean against the railing on your raised porch and watches the three of you work, smoking what you think is his third cigar of the day. in his other hand is tommy's favorite glass, about a third full with whiskey and ice.

he and quackity shout over the roar of the chainsaw about next steps; living room paint color, new sheets for the bed, what to make for dinner. your arms shake and the afternoon sky darkens with clouds. when the temperature drops and the sky begins to spit down rain, schlatt and quackity duck inside with a shout to finish up out there.

by the time the fence is gone, the sun has set behind the woods, you're soaked to your skin, and your fingers are blue with cold and red with blood blisters. you collapse on the couch–the same one you've slept on for almost as long as you can remember–and shut your eyes against a living room you no longer recognize. fundy disappears into his bedroom and comes back in a set of dry clothes. quackity frowns and tells you to get up, you'll ruin the upholstery, then offers you a slice of mostly-cold pizza.

you slide to sit on the floor instead and pick the onions and bell peppers off the piece of pizza. your stomach turns. thuds and bangs echo through the house, and then its a terrible jerky screech as schlatt and quackity drag wilbur's old executive desk down the hall and through the front door. the corners dig lines into the linoleum and papers and knickknacks are strewn through the whole house.

there's tax records in there, you say, watching a wheat penny skid beneath the couch. they're in the second drawer on the left. and probably the deed, too.

schlatt makes a dismissive noise. don't need 'em. he doesn't say anything else, so you don't either.

as they're turning it through the front door, you watch schlatt grab a silver ring from a rolled-open drawer. he turns it over in his hand before passing it to quackity, who slips it on his finger and examines it under the light. don't get any ideas, honey, schlatt grumbles, and quackity squawks something about schlatt running out on him as they push the desk the rest of the way through the door. they both cackle as it tumbles down the front porch stairs.

you lean forward to pick up an old microwave manual and a receipt for a goodwill donation. for a moment, you can almost pretend you're just spring cleaning while wilbur files your stupid taxes; tommy shredding shit you don't need anymore and threatening to shove your fingers into the blades; fundy sorting grocery receipts. then schlatt slams the front door shut, and the house shakes, and they laugh the whole way down the hall to wilbur's room, quackity still watching the ring sparkle as he turns his hand this way and that. their conversation grows muffled behind the locked bedroom door.

you stare down the hall from your place on the floor. the rain rattles against the house. there're splinters in your hands. you feel like you missed your opportunity to cry about it all, so you finish your pizza instead, even the crusts. then you pull yourself to you feet, socks squelching in your dress shoes, and grab another trash bag and your hoodie from the coat closet.

slowly, you creep through the front door and down the steps, past schlatt's pontiac, and begin hunting through the bags and piles of your whole life for anything you can save.

[spacedlexi]

Of all the difficult choices in each season of TWDG, What would say are the ones that you struggled with the most for each season?

HMM good question. there are some choices i feel conflicted about when i get to them but these are for the most part the ones that i actively dread having to make (which i like 😏 those are the best choices). there are other choices throughout the series that i feel Bad about, but not necessarily conflicted. like. i Know what my choice is, but i still feel bad about the consequences 😔 these are the ones that i actually mentally find myself battling. i just love the kinds of choices that make me sit on a pause screen for too long when its really Not That Serious

S1: help lilly/help kenny - the circumstances of this choice are what make it hard. literally a ticking time bomb. do you try to save lillys father? even tho hes been nothing but a complete jackass to you AND the group this entire time and put himself in this situation? or do you try to save the group by destroying his brain before its too late? clem being there watching doesnt help because now theres the added layer of "do i brutally murder this man in front of this child even if it means saving her life?" i usually end up trying to help lilly just because i know kenny is gonna do it regardless (and i dont want her to feel completely ostracized by the group). the idea of puling this woman back from her dying father so we can brutally murder him in front of her is.... a lot. like.. you can TRY to save him you know?? even if he turns hed still have to get off the ground first just hold the salt lick ready kenny 💀 plus you still have to actually Die first before turning. theyd have a second to feel his pulse stop. but its a very hectic scene where youre forced to act first think later. and either way clem is forced to see it. the worst part about it is knowing kenny is gonna be on my ass about it even tho i side with him on LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE 😐😑

shoot lee/leave lee - its just 😭 telling this little girl to kill the one person she has left, moments after seeing her dead parents. its time for her to start doing the hard things. but to tell her to do THIS?? you are fucking that child up beyond belief. but also the guilt she'll carry if she DOESNT do it, knowing hes still in that jewelry store, possibly chained to it, forever (which the narrative impact of lee starting and ending the game in handcuffs (possibly a prisoner in his own body??) makes me SCREAM AND CRY LEEEEEEEEEEE THATS GOOD NARRATIVE BAYBEE).

S2: shoot kenny/look away - another "is clem ready to do this?" kind of moment. its time for her to start making her own choices. what does SHE want?? i think even a clem who shoots kenny is gonna be conflicted about it on some level. recently i played a clem who let kenny kill jane then shot him anyway. that was cool :) and the moment is way more dark than shooting him outright. no heartfelt goodbyes. just a tired "do it". oof. the set up for the kenny/jane fight is Not Good like we ALLLLLL KNOOWWW it shouldve been luke ok. but the choice itself is still a HUGE character moment for clem, and its one of my favorite and most dreaded choices in the series. how is clem feeling about kenny at this point? is shooting him something she can do?? before its too late?? or will she be paralyzed by choice? this is a choice she Never shouldve had to make, but here she is, and she has to. before time runs out. i like my clems alone so usually i either wait out the clock (no choice is still a choice. clem just cant do it but cant look away either) and stay at wellington (good alone ending), or i shoot him 1 of 2 ways (clem Can do it)(bad alone ending). shooting him after he kills jane is just like 2 birds one stone to me SHDHSJKDS 💀 and it hits that middle ground of being paralyzed by choice but still ultimately Making A Choice, just too late for it to matter to anyone but herself. and her line of dialogue finding aj alone "we're gonna be ok, we're gonna be ok" like shes trying to reassure herself more than anything WAAAHH i kinda liked it a Lot actually 👀

S3: ??? romancing kate or not i guess?? - its the only one that really made me feel conflicted (aside from maybe the conrad thing?? sorry clem but im gonna force you to stick around actually i like it for the Narrative and it makes gabe less annoying later. also conrads alright). do you respect your brother or do you get with his wife who hates him LOL. because its not one choice you make, not really. its one the game is constantly asking of you, putting you in situations where the choice needs to be made again and again until finally you make the Ultimate choice about it. people who complain about the game being so pushy about it are kinda funny to me because like, ya.. thats the whole point.... (ive pushed back defiantly Literally just because of how pushy the game is about it tho so like i get it) she is a temptation the game is intentionally dangling in front of javi. she is the Final source of conflict between the brothers. will he remain loyal or give into it? i say give in 😏 give david something to actually be mad about. ive both romanced her and not, and the game kinda feels stunted if you dont? like... i Get It. thats your brothers wife who is still wearing her ring after YEARS of him being gone. theres 😬 feelings there. but even if you dont romance her the game still punishes you by having her be weird about it in the garage in front of david anyway. i say do it even tho its messy. it makes the story more sound imo which S3 desperately needs at that point. javi can still feel bad about it. what DID david expect?? i love mess :)

S4: kill couple/send aj inside - i love a choice that gives me a lot to think about. even if the actual in game consequences are flimsy to none. with this choice specifically, what makes it hard is the fact that the couple asked to be left alone. if they were just two walkers it wouldve been a no brainer. but with their final request, it becomes a matter of respecting the dying wish of this sad couple (which becomes narratively relevant at the end of the game OUGH WHEN IT COMES BACK). and will you teach aj that respecting those wishes is important? he needs to learn to become self sufficient anyway. clem crawled through her own number of dangerous holes in her youth. but thats the other side of it. that clem, knowing personally how dangerous crawling into those spaces where no one could follow was, i dont know how comfortable she would be letting aj do the same. but also, she doesnt want him to grow up too hardened. if she kills this couple, its pushing him further into that hardened mindset. to do whatever you have to to survive, no matter the cost to others. its a choice i find myself sitting with the longest even tho its consequences are pretty much just 2 lines of dialogue ("that couple clem tried to Guilt me about" LMAO YEAH ITS TRUE AJ THIS IS A LEARNING MOMENT FOR YOU). but yeah this is a choice i have a 50/50 chance with going either way on. every time i kill the couple i feel so bad about it 😭 (and so does clem 🥺). it being more of a philosophical question instead of an actual gameplay decision is what i like about it

not sure/take things slow/girlfriends/kiss - NOT JOKING ABOUT THIS ONE its actually so hard for me HSDHSDJKSJKDJK i dont have a paragraph of reasons why tho i just love them all differently. the first two feel the most realistic. i do like the idea of taking things slow and the dialogue for it is really sweet. but also. they might die or be taken tonight. so one kiss before everything could come crashing down on them is nice. but also hearing them call each other girlfriends???? adds years to my life. vi in ep 3 being like "um so you said you wanted to be girlfriends 🥺?" and clem like "😏 ya" i just love hearing them say it 😭 Out Loud 👁👁. and then either way clem gets another chance to kiss her in the woods in ep 3 so it works out. and 2 more kisses in ep 4 from vi this time!! thank you devs for my life 🙏 what a wonderful choice

i love choice games so much just because of the questions they ask of you. i honestly LOVE looking through the player choice stats i find them SO INTERERSTING ESPECIALLY the ones that are split perfectly 50/50. i would literally look at the stats for every single choice im not joking. where are the stats

[definitelynotshouting]

hellooooo!!! tis i, bug anon. i have been VERY MUCH enjoying the hunger au snippets (very late comment ik, but they were wonderful little pick me ups whenever i saw them :))!! ALSO, glad to hear your editing is going well!! idk abt you, but editing is the HARDEST bit of writing stuff for me (so im glad its going well!!). if theres any worldbuilding you've wanted to share but nobody has asked about it yet, feel free to lay it on me! (or dont! your choice!) hope your cat is doing well also, i love him <3

-🐛

I have a few things i want to eventually make posts about, but my brain is admittedly a little boiled right now so they'll probably have to wait a little longer before i can write them out coherently 😂😂😂😂 UHHH SMALL TIDBITS SMALL TIDBITS..... OH OKAY OKAY so im trying to cook up more aspects of Watcher culture and i think. They use entire blocks as little beads for jewelry. Its very common for a Watcher to decorate themselves with jewelry that's made from an all-time favorite block. Imagine if these worms had necklaces and one of them was made from magenta glazed terracotta /silly<3

The editing is for sure difficult esp bc i am being extremely nitpicky with this one rn 😭😭😭😭 we're at whats hopefully the last three chapters of Arc 1 and i have very particular ideas for how i want them written so they hit JUST right. AAAA thank you so much for the encouragement!!!! Im really happy you like the snippets ive sent so far :D

ALSO YES Anarchy is doing great he scratched and wailed at my door this afternoon until i let him in so he could cuddle on my lap for a solid half hour🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 sweetest boy on the earth here is a recent picture of him that has to be a top contender for second best Anarchy pic of all time:

[ryemackerel]

HALLO i was wondering how you get out of art block?? your art is very expressive and i absolutely adore all your colour choices and designs. ive been having trouble with art block for a very long time now so i’m just trying to ask other artists how they get outta it <3 i hope u have a niceday yesyes

OUGHH HELLO!!! holy crap, art block is the WORST. everytime i encounter it, its always hard to beat it D: theres days where i feel like i WANT to draw something so badly but my brain just. cant function

i dont have a definitive solution for art block, but whenever i do, i have a few ways to cope with it. sometimes they work, sometimes they dont? but whenever the time comes and im just sitting at a brick wall, i got some survival tips

1. come up with random silly ideas,, it could be anything: random words, phrases, scenarios. they can be as nonsensical as you want them to be. during art blocks, my mind is completely dry with ideas, so i always try to compile a list of ideas from the past so i can come back to them later on. i try to come up with random duos or something as simple as “mcdonalds date”. i might not work on these now, but maybe some random lil word can spark that creativity in me

heres my art ideas list… i have some ideas that are like 8 months old in there BGAHSGA, but i save em there till i feel like working on them

2. STRUGGLE DOODLES!! i like to make a bunch of doodles of random scenes that i think about in my head. doodle practically anything. your favorite person, favorite animal, something you see outside your window, frogs?

heres a few of mine. most of the time, i NEVER get to finishing them. however, during art blocks sometimes i like to go back to really old, incomplete guidelines and add some new, random addition to it. sometimes i forget what my sketches were exactly meant to be? and i guess thats the fun about interpreting stuff and giving things a new spin to them. during art blocks, i HATE trying to come up with new drawings from a blank canvas (since i dont even have any ideas to begin with). but working on old wips, or completely revising them? sometimes these can be super fun :]

[and bonus tip!! and this is like, a golden tip that everyone loves: going back to super old drawings and redrawing them!! its my favorite. i absolutely love seeing the improvement ive made over the years. its also pretty easy to work with since you dont have to stress about coming up with completely new ideas from a blank slate! GAHH i should do that more often.]

3. search up your favorite fanart, go on pinterest, anything. i love this one.

search up some really cool photos of outfits, aesthetic backgrounds?? i find myself searching up a lot of fanart of fandoms im in, any word with “aesthetic” at the end, casino aesthetic, anything! pinterest has always been my go-to platform to find ideas. i go on the app and not even a second in, im blown with all of this cool art n character designs. i have a problem saving almost everything i find into my boards, but at least i saved a chock-full of ideas i can work with. :)

a thing about me: ive never been the type to try and force my art block out. whenever im facing a block, its extremely difficult for me to come up with things on my own. sometimes i let it wait for a while, but that tends to take a REALLY long time. D: if i dont feel like drawing, or doodling, or really doing anything? i always like scrolling through really pretty photos. that tends to spark a small idea in me i can work with, and sometimes i manage to get out of art block from there. it starts out small, then over time it gets even better.

these photos especially gave me WAY more motivation than i ever had to draw wilbur during an art block moment. i started off making small random doodles of him in a neon city and over time it kinda turned into a fixation for neon cities. i LOVE imagining characters in random photos i find on pinterest.

wishing you the bestest in your art journey!! this crap’s tough but i know you can break it yo. thank you so much for the ask!

feel free to reblog and add your own ideas below :] i was only able to come up with a few, but if youd like to add on, go right ahead! /noforce

[themagicmusicman]

idk why but something that’s been on my mind loads today is how shitty parents who dont support their children transitioning are.

i think it goes without saying that this is a negative thing for adults to do to their kids, but thinking about it deeper, it really sucks. this might have been brought on by listening to an episode of a podcast about that critikal and sneako situation, and how the people on this podcast were talking about “should children be allowed to transition?”

i feel like for me personally, giving an answer to this is very easy. socially, yes, absolutely they should. medically, i think waiting until they’re 18 is the best choice. a lot of people would disagree with this but here’s my logic:

socially transitioning is harmless. there’s no irreversible change done to the body, so therefore i think it’s fine. social transitioning generally consists of changing your name, pronouns and how you present yourself (clothes, hair, etc).

think about it, are any of these things irreversible? you can always change your name or pronouns back to what they originally were, or to change them multiple times. if a child originally used she/her, then used he/him, and now wants to use she/her again, that’s a very doable thing. obviously it would be a difficult change for peers, friends, family and so on, but it’s a realistic thing that can be done.

same with wearing different clothes, or changing your hair. if someone cuts their hair and then decides they want it long again, they can just grow it out. same the other way; if someone grows their hair out long and then wants it short again, they can just cut it.

another option for people who are socially transitioning is things like binding, packing, tucking and padding. for trans males or individuals who want to look more masculine, binding is a great way to get a flatter looking chest. there are a lot of different options for it (commercial binders, binding tape, certain bras or shirts), and it can be dangerous is done in the wrong way, but theres a lot of online recourses to help bind safely (i’ll be linking a website at the end of this post where you can read about safe binding, packing, tucking and padding)

packing is another option for people who want to look more masc; again, with quite a few options, including diy packers and prosthetics. this can be as simple as a pair of socks shaped like a penis that you can put in your underwear to resemble a bulge.

as for the transfem options, im a lot less familiar with them, so again, see the link at the end to find out more. however, i do know theres are options such as tucking (positioning male genitals such as the penis and testes to make them less prominent) and padding (using undergarments to resemble boobs, can also be used for hips or ass)

my point is, there are so many ways to socially transition, and they’re all safe and reversible if need be. why as a parent would you want to take this away from your own child?

it isn’t hurting anyone, be it the child or other people, and it makes the child themselves more comfortable and happy with who they are, even if it is for a small amount of time. surely that’s more important than your own beliefs?

once they are 18, they have the choice to get surgery or hormones if they choose to, and that’s fine in my opinion. i think it is a good idea to first see a medical professional or psychiatrist (although i think that’s something people have to do before medically transitioning in most countries) but it’s their choice at that point.

before then, help your child accept themselves for who they are by using their preferred name or pronouns, helping get them the clothes, prosthetics or haircut they want, and just supporting them in their decisions.

have a great day yall, and remember :

Trans rights are human rights 🏳️‍⚧️

[cinnamostar]

hiiii again! :)

just wanted to share my thoughts on 'Four Dates to Fall in Love.'

I hope you are doing well ❤️

I loved the start with Chris—how you incorporated him as someone reader can share their feelings with and sort out their thoughts. It adds so much to the story and the characters. Especially when the reader goes on about wanting to keep having fun with Hyunjin but struggles when memories and emotions about the past years come back. I loved how Chan validated both feelings and helped the reader find a way to deal with the situation. This whole situation takes a lot of emotional intelligence, maturity, empathy, and firm boundaries. I'm so happy to see this portrayed in fanfiction. 🫶

Besides that, I also really enjoyed them cooking together—the teasing, their smiles, and the reader's hands over Hyunjin's. It was such a good read, and the underlying awkwardness was so tangible!

"[...] suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied by the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn't know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn't want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was." I think I died reading that part. Way too good. YOU ARE SO TALENTED. I've said it so often, but the way you describe feelings—especially those opposing feelings—it's perfect.

AAAAAND you did justice to Hyunjin and his feelings in this part! How he struggles with what he has done, the reader's friendliness, the guilt, and the hate he almost has on himself.

"[...] shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn't be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort." Shame is such an underrated emotion and is rarely acknowledged, but yet it is so powerful. Loved that you incorporated this emotion.

Last but not least, the last part broke me. How the reader chose to comfort Hyunjin, their inner conflict with their choice—"[...] despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over himself".... I was fr dead on the floor after reading this. I mean—I know how hard it is to be in this situation, and I probably would do the same, but I screamed with the reader's mind.

Sooooo - in conclusion, I love how you portray them so humanly, all their struggles... I can really see myself in them. I can't wait to finally get them together.

And I wanted to point out: taking a rest from writing has paid off. Your dialogs were just perfect. I loved the slow burn. You did really well. ❤️

YOUR MESSAGES ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY SO MUCH BETTER T - T THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH it makes me genuinely so happy that someone finds my work that impactful so it always so appreciated :')!

my intention from the start was to always have chris there as someone the reader could rely on and have candid conversations regarding their emotions! its one thing to write how the reader is feeling, but i think its another for the reader to talk to someone else abt it bc i feel like it can reveal a lil more about the characters and their relationship with each other! like yeaaa chris is reader's manager, but also a great friend over the years theyve known each other!

and yeah, they both have a lot of emotions to process and figure out! its really hard to be either of them in that position because shame/guilt is such a difficult feeling to digest, especially when the other party still hasn't forgiven. so tbh, its hard for hyunjin to know what to do or how to handle anything bc ultimately, it is up to the reader on how they wanna handle their relationship w him... hyunjin can only hope for forgiveness, but has been blessed with kindness too!

reader is also in a hard position because if it wasn't for the fact there wasn't an acting project on the line, reader would've probably been a lot more callous towards hyunjin. but theres a role on the line that the reader really wants, so reader gotta suck it up a little. while the reader did chose to be kind to hyunjin, a lot of it has to do with just spending time with him. i think no matter how angry you can be with someone, if you miss a friendship and are able to see them for who they really are, its hard to be a total dickhead to them JKLFDSJ especially if they seem super apologetic.

BUUUUUUUUUT reader choosing this doesnt mean their hurt goes away.............. I HAVE PLANS, I CANNOT SAY MORE, BUT THERE ARE PLANS FOR THIS SERIES NSJKDFNA emotions are complex and hard so this entire series is just gonna be That (but also im avoiding being repetitive too so that was an added challenge when i outlined this series)

personally, reader is actually a lot better than me, im a hater til i die, but then this story wouldnt be going anywhere...

after this chapter, there are only three dates left and then one extra chapter... i have had this all planned out, im excited and hope u enjoy whats next !!<333 thank u sm again i literally love seeing ur messages in my inbox . and yes!!! the break helped a lot :') thank u for encouraging the writing break tooMMMMMMWAH

[alitgblog]

s11 vol 5 thoughts

Anna switching suddenly to Tunde (bc MC is not interested in him) is so sudden writing wise after she was going after Callum so much at the sleepover. Vida went after Callum so much in the first volume she showed up in, leaving Tunde open to flirt with MC and put all his attention on her, so I would've liked if Anna put all her attention on Tunde during the sleepover, that way it shows MC is not safe either option (or if you were already convinced to pick one LI then give MC some nonchalant options here with less forced drama... after all theres enough drama with Ren around + one girl going after your LI + Tunde/Callum/MC love triangle, it doesnt make sense to add second girl going after Tunde and Callum as well)

And she basically is getting the Ava treatment, saying she finally realizes she's not wanted and moving on, but idk the progression of it feels unnatural. Like if she came to this conclusion after callum had told her or MC had a word with her or even if she was just less aggressive about it in the earlier episodes then sure but up until like 5 minutes ago it feels like she was all in on Callum.

Did not give a shit about the challenge I don't even remember what it was

fusebox stop ruining my headcanons about friendships in the villa, first you get rid of Zabrina, then you make Ren annoying, am I supposed to befriend Anna and Jace now?? 😭😭

Anyway yes I am the only person upset with "person coupled with Ruby" calling MC shifty for the reason of ruining his character. Like this happens in S6 too, and I hated it then (you deserve better Jamal/Roberto) and I hate it now. I just want more than one friendship in the villa, and I thought Ren would be a good choice because he does have good traits and backstory (though only demonstrated in the first volume when MC is deciding between the three OG LIs), but also does bad things while he struggles in his friendship couple with Ruby because she's so quick to dismiss him (imo a reasonable complaint from him though I don't agree with all his actions as a result of it), and I think that helps rounds out his character. Compare that to your LI (in my case Callum) who can do no wrong and only has bad things happen to him (like Vida trying to steal him away) but does nothing wrong himself, or to Vida who is our one note villain that comes out the gate swinging and does not stop. But no, he starts to take an antagonistic role against MC and is gonna become an unlikable character that makes the episodes difficult to get through, thus negating any possible good will I'd have towards the character

and in another note it's just confusing especially after he says otherwise when you talk to all the boys, and he had no problems telling MC that he wanted to vote her out then, but acts coy about it at the firepit when confronted? pick a lane, be a coward or don't??

also I was holding out hope when Ren initially said he was gonna vote for MC because he didn't know her that well (a conversation I liked, before he changed his mind voted for her anyway for being shifty 🙄) that picking the option "oh let's get to know each other better" could reopen his route as like a late game love interest, but it seems like they may be teasing Jace could be a slow burn route? and like.. no thank you 😬

anyway I'm suffering reading all about Ruby and Ren the way I couldn't care less about Finn and Kat's drama in S5. Like Ruby doesn't deserve his shit but gotta admit he's not always wrong like the game is trying to make us believe. Like personally, don't know why he thinks MC is shifty, but if he feels that way I don't think he really owes her an apology. And yeah I'm also sick of Ruby constantly complaining she's with Ren, like wait for a bombshell girl, I'm sorry.

and I know they did it to fit the three episode per volume format, but I wish it was just a recoupling and not a dumping and then a recoupling. Literally just at the end of it, Vida gets dumped as the only single islander. I guess you miss out on Ren being shady towards MC but he can just do that without the guise of a dumping.

and if Jace and Esme are dealing with shit this next volume anyway, i would've liked to shake up the couples this recoupling bc almost everyone stayed in their couples. Like lets have the Esme Jace argument happen first and in front of MC and not off screen 🙄🙄, so theyre going through a rough patch but Esme thinks they will work it out. Recoupling time: Callum picks MC first, so they're happy and can stay in the hideaway, sure. Then let Jace be defensive and shockingly choose Ruby as a friendship couple. This definitely devestates Esme, who cant believe he would do something so dramatic over their argument before its fully resolved. Ren is happy about it though and he chooses Anna next, who is upset because she wanted Tunde. Then Tunde chooses to save Esme over Vida.

we can even still have a cliffhanger ending bc surely after a shake up like this, there's going to be conflict.

oh also callum and mc in the hideaway sure whatever it means nothing. if I wanted to learn about his character (which I do but not enough) I would pay for the gem scene but out of anger the fact people need to pay for the story to feel good and it's disjointed from the rest of the season?? no don't care

[leolingo]

(ask game) 1 and 2 for qcellbit and 25 for both qroier and qcellbit? :D

SORRY FOR THE WAIT I FORGOT

(qcell) 1. Why do you like or dislike this character? well first of all i ADORE him :3 i dont often Rank the qsmp characters but he's one of my favorites and im confident enough to say hes usually my number one guy even....

i guess the best way i can articulate this is just that i love the Experience of witnessing the qsmp through his pov <3 i like how deliberate cc!cellbit is with his storytelling choices and it ties in with how complex qcellbit is as a character. i personally love the Sides of him we get to see throughout the story and how it relates to the chronology of the character -- the places he's been, the things he's done. how he's such a complicated person who keeps SO MUCH to himself and will only trust a select handful of people but even then almost never fully, and how this makes it so its extremely difficult from other povs to really understand why he does the things he does.

it feels IMMERSIVE and it feels like being a part of something. like being a viewer, being there to watch his every step is just really something and i fell in love with him from the very first week lol i cant lie as a brazilian i never really had a cellbit phase growing up but his qsmp D-1 vod had me hooked from the start <3

(qcell) 2. Favorite canon thing about this character? god so many jsdfhjgshkfk how devoted of a husband he is,

the way he loves children and gets surprised when they love him back

the fact he's a fussy interior designer and VERY particular about furniture choices

hard not to mention the cannibalism. big fan

theres just so much about him that i love!!!!!!!!!

(qcell) 25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? i remember thinking he was sooooooooooo stoic and so serious! SO focused and goal-oriented! i never did think he was going to be such a major player in the big story arcs either! when cc!cellbit introduced the concept of being a photographer/investigator i mostly thought he was going to use that gimmick to explore the plot points that came before him and revisit that kind of stuff and that was it...... then he quite literally knocked it out of the park and got super mega involved with most of the active storylines of that time + created so many new story branches lol

today i see how messy he is . how LAME! i love him even more

now QROIER 25. i dont actually remember jsdjnjkkhndf i started watching roiers pov pretty early on like ever since the eggs got introduced i think and i really dont remember specifics all i know is he was so entertaining i for a while got my mom to watch his streams taking care of bobby with me on our tv

[violetlilysunshine]

Girl!!!! So much going on 😭😭😭

I can’t wait to binge this whole series again when it’s complete

“Whoa,” she chuckled. “Easy there, Miss Congeniality. That’ll be sure to earn you the promotion.”

STOP THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW FAVORITE LINES EVER 😂😂😂

“Oh, yeah? We talkin’ lace or satin?” he asked. His lips brushed your temple.

Okay but why is that so smooth??? It’s nothing fabulous or particularly “wild” but it did the damn trick for me 😭

Maybe Dean was right, you thought. You knew you were good at your job. You knew you were fortunate to even have a job that paid your bills…but maybe “being good” wasn’t enough for you.

Honey, he’s always right.

You smiled and drew your thumb across the inside of his wrist. “I think I’m done.”

Now that’s one I haven’t heard before - the inside of the wrist, huh? People like that?

The door cracked open, but before you could protest, a man stumbled in.

It’s not like me to not lock the door… even when I’m home alone. I’m paranoid.

his hand clamped over your mouth to stifle your scream.

Bite. Him. Break skin. Leave a MARK.

“Don’t you look at her, you piece of shit!” he warned. His voice was low and dangerous. “Make your choice. You gonna come down to the station easy, or difficult? Please say difficult.”

NOW THERES A CLASSIC DEAN LINE 😂

Dean’s teeth ground together. He looked down, and his stare bored into Nick’s. Dean pressed his forearm into the other man’s throat again, enough to almost feel the give as the man struggled for breath.

I understand he’s being protective and all and it’s sweet that he feels so much emotion to want to do that for her, but it’s just too much at that point. It’s the point of I think I would be scared to be with him in this moment. Why do men get like this?? Why is this seen as “charming”?

(That’s totally not about you at all or your writing it’s amazing. It’s about culture in general!!)

He took it, holding you steady. He then wrapped an arm around your shoulders and guided you out of the bathroom.

Okay I’m picturing this with deans left hand crossed over his body holding her left and his right arm pulling her into him over her shoulder if that makes sense and side note, I love to hold someone’s hand with both of mine and tuck my body into their arm. It’s just so safe and comforting

The longer Dean looked at your face, the more he crumbled.

Sometimes it’s just easier to let go and move on!! Sometimes starting the fight is more emotionally draining than being where you are!! I totally get her!!

He obliged you, drawing into the bathroom. His white dress shirt was only half unbuttoned, the sleeves rolled up. You met his eyes in the mirror.

Ugh now there’s a sight 😋

“All right, shhh. I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s over,” he said. Once again, he pulled you into his arms and held you close. Guilt hit him between the ribs for upsetting you all over again. “I promise you’re safe, and I’ve got you.”

So precious 😭😭😭

Smoke Eater - Part 13

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.   

AN: For those who didn't catch my announcement on Monday, I released Part 12 earlier this week! Now, on to a confrontation I think a lot of you have been waiting for...

🔥Series Masterlist

Word Count: 7,200 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Attempted sexual assault. Protective Dean, angst, hurt/comfort.  

Part 13: “Boiling Point”

Usually, Christmas was your absolute favorite time of the year.

This holiday was a baker’s dream, and you and your grandmother used to volunteer at the church bake sale every Christmas Eve. Grandpa George had done his best to help you in the years after she died…but you just didn’t have it in you this year.

You considered it an accomplishment that you pulled down some of the decorations from the attic, putting them up around your house, and buying a little four-foot tree (also hauling it into the house yourself). However, you knew that you wouldn’t be alone on Christmas Day, at least.

Sam and Dean had already invited you over to spend it with them. You would have the chance to get to know Eileen better, and you would even get to meet the famous John Winchester…

But you still had one reason to dread the end of the month.

Nick Savage threw a Christmas party every year. It was equal parts celebration and networking, and as a top performer of the sales division, you were expected to come.

The problem was, this time the party was going to be held at his house.

“You can’t just not go?” Andréa asked, shortly before taking a massive bite of her burrito. The two of you were grabbing dinner together after another long day at the office, followed by a movie later.

You’d realized just how much you had missed your best friend.

“Yeah, that’ll be great for me. Josh will get to chat up the whole team and get them clamoring to kiss his dick. Nick will give him the Sales Manager position just to spite me,” you said, while picking at your taco salad. “He keeps pitting us against each other for his own enjoyment, but I swear to God he harps on me the most.”

Andréa frowned. “Are you sure Nick just doesn’t have a thing for you? It sounds like he’s a little boy, picking on a girl he likes.”

You pursed your lips. She still didn’t know the full extent on your boss’s thing with you. You hadn’t told her about the last time Nick cornered you in his office, dangled a promotion in front of you, and basically gave you an ultimatum: sleep with him, or don’t move up in the company.

You hadn’t told anyone, for that matter.

You were just trying to figure out how to not get fired, while still getting compensated for your hard work. Was that too much to ask? 

Apparently, it was.

“I don’t give a flying fuck what he thinks about me,” you said vehemently.

It earned your friend’s gaze, and her raised eyebrows. 

“Whoa,” she chuckled. “Easy there, Miss Congeniality. That’ll be sure to earn you the promotion.”

“No, really,” you said. You stabbed into your salad with a fork. “I’m so fucking sick and tired of having to tap dance my entire work life around him. He’s a goddamn child who thinks he can have whatever he wants just because Daddy gave him his own little kingdom!”

Andréa eyed you more with concern. Her hand reached for your arm. Meanwhile, you were forcing slower breaths through your nose.

“You okay?” she asked. “I don’t like the ‘crazy town’ look in your eyes right now.”

“I’m fine,” you grumbled. “Just hangry, I guess.”

You took another bite of your food. Andréa gave you a skeptical look, but she let it go for now, with a smirk.

“Yeah, well. Eat a Snickers, bitch. I don’t need you snapping on me again,” she teased.

You rolled your eyes, but you had to laugh a little. You shoved at her shoulder.

She gripped her own arm in fake panic. “Someone call the cops! This crazy woman just punched me out over a salad!”

You tried to shush her, even though you were giggling. Your head swiveled around in the restaurant, giving apologetic eyes to the people around you.

“Although, $20 for a few sprigs of romaine lettuce and a sliver of chicken? That’s worth punching somebody the fuck out,” she said, throwing down her napkin. “Let’s never come here again.”

“Agreed,” you nodded. “I don’t think they’ll let us back here anyway.”

A few days later, you didn’t want to admit you were stressing out over this night.

“Have I said thank you? Because I mean it. Thank you for taking time off for this,” you said, smoothing down the nonexistent wrinkles in Dean’s blazer.

He looked good in black. It was classic, and the new suit was smart without being “too much” for him. (Sam had taken him to his “suit guy,” as Dean called it.)

Dean grabbed your arms to stop your slightly flustered hands. He smirked down at you as his eyes once again took in your dark red dress. It was simple and sleeveless, but elegant, falling just above the knee. Of course, you had to be wearing the tallest pair of black heels he’d ever seen.

“It’s no sacrifice, believe me,” he replied.

You smiled, but he noticed something behind your eyes.

“You okay?” he asked. “Seems like you don’t really want to go to this thing.”

“I don’t,” you admitted on a sigh. “But my boss will know if I’m not there…I told you about the open Sales Manager position, right?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Dean nodded. His smile slid into a frown as he watched you bustle around your room, looking for your purse while you smoothed out the soft waves you’d managed to style your hair in, checking your eyeliner and lipstick too in the mirror.

“As usual, it’s down to me and Josh,” you said. “If I keep my numbers up and use tonight to network with my own team, get the rest of the guys on my side, maybe Nick will see that I’m the right choice.”

Dean came up behind you, resting a hand on your lower back.

“And this manager job…that’s what you want?” he asked.

You turned to him with a questioning look. “Well, yeah. I’ve been working here for five years, busting my ass.”

“And I got no doubt that you’re good at what you do,” Dean said. “But you do know, there hasn’t been a day since I met you that you didn’t have something crap to say about that job, and those people you work with.”

You frowned, and you thought about what he was saying. Sure, you complained about Nick, but did you really talk that much shit about your job?

“Everyone has things they don’t like about their work,” you reasoned. “Even you have your bad days.”

Though he tended to keep those days to himself, you knew when he’d had a tough call at the firehouse. You’d been trying your best to be a listening ear if he needed it, or if not, at least a soothing presence. It was more often the latter with Dean.

He acknowledged your point with a nod. “Okay, fair enough. I don’t know…I just think you’re wasting your talent.”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Sweetheart, you’re like…an artist. It’s nothing me, or Sam, or Andréa, or anybody in your life hasn’t told you before,” said Dean. “You went to school to do your dream. And I know life happened. But I also know that when I walk into the firehouse, it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be. Can you say that when you walk into the Savage building?”

You took in a breath. You understood what he was saying, but as much as you wanted to indulge the fantasy of owning your own business, being your own boss, creating your own menu, and giving people quality baked goods…you had to live in reality here.

Opening a brick-and-mortar business was expensive. And most restaurants, even bakeries, weren’t profitable for at least one to three years. You still had plenty of bills, and not even a car since the accident.

“I’ve invested too much time here to quit, Dean,” you said.

The conversation died there, but it left something new and awkward between you two. You tried to put it out of your mind while he drove you both over to the “filthy fucking rich” side of town, through a massive gate, and into a wide parking lot that had a valet driver waiting. Nick’s ridiculous house was a monument to trust fund kids everywhere. 

Dean reluctantly handed over the keys to the Impala.

“No donuts in the parking lot.” He eyed the 20-something-year-old valet with all due scrutiny. “Trust me, I’ll know.”

You smirked and slipped your arm around his to tug him up the steps, toward the large double doors of the house.

“Come on, Rambo. Baby’ll be fine without you.”

“You don’t know that,” Dean quipped back. Still, he moved his arm out of yours, just to wrap it around your waist and pull you against his side. His lips pressed against your cheek.

“You look sexy as hell,” he said lowly near your ear. “Did I forget to mention that?”

“No.” Your smile deepened. “But doesn’t hurt to mention again. I might just have to reward my boyfriend for humoring me tonight, getting all dapper himself.”

You and Dean made it up to the porch and you knocked on the door. He shot you a raised brow as his lips tugged upwards.

“Oh, yeah? We talkin’ lace or satin?” he asked. His lips brushed your temple.

You pretended to think. “Little of both, actually. It’s new. And it’s red…and I might just be wearing it right now.”

Dean’s brows shot up in surprise. His gaze subtly dragged over your every curve, as if he had x-ray vision to spy through your dress. You maintained an enigmatic smile.

“Oh, you’re diabolical,” he muttered. His hand moved down to playfully squeeze your ass. You had to bite your lip to stifle the sound you made, as that’s when the doors finally began to swing open.

Dean’s hand moved up a respectable few inches, resting on your waist.

You both smiled and greeted the attendant who let you into the house.

A quick text let you know that Benny and Andréa were already here, each holding a flute of champagne. You and Dean met up with them in the huge living room space (which might has well have been a grand hall, for how large it was).

It held 50 people easily, but the party was already spanning the entire house, of at least two stories. It made your house look like a modest Barbie Dream home, without the pool attachment.

And Nick Savage was at the center of it all, greeting each guest and their “plus ones.”

When he spotted your group, he smoothly excused himself from the conversation with Josh and his wife, and headed over to you.

“Incomiiing,” Andréa quietly sing-songed. She sipped her champagne.

You steeled yourself, and you did your best to give a polite smile when Nick arrived with a pleasant “Merry Christmas.” You forced yourself to remain still when his hand fell on your arm, and he reached out to shake Dean’s hand in greeting, followed by Andréa and Benny. 

“Welcome, you guys,” he said, giving you a smile that hid just a hint of a smirk. “Justin let you know where everything is, right? Lotsa drinks, the good stuff, I promise. Plenty of food, hot chocolate and eggnog fountains, if that’s your thing. And a hell of a lot more out back by the pool.”  

“Great, thank you,” you nodded politely.

“All right! Let’s party,” Nick fist-pumped in the air. He pointed towards you and Dean. “You need a drink in your hand, stat.”

“I’m fine for now. Going to wait until I have something to eat first,” you replied. If you were going to get a glass of wine, it wouldn’t be one that Nick handed to you.

He pouted a little, but he looked at Dean next. “How about you, big guy? What you drinkin’?”

Dean shot you a glance, but before he could respond, Nick interrupted.

“You look like a whiskey guy. Am I right?” he asked.

Dean inclined his head. “Guilty.”

“Perfect. See? I’ve got an instinct for people,” Nick said, tossing you a wink as he headed for the nearby bar. “I’ll be back. You crazy kids relax and have fun.”

You had to admit, he knew how to turn on the charm when he had to. But who the hell said crazy kids under the age of 45?  

“He’s uh…got pep,” Benny remarked.

Andréa snorted and tapped her glass. “He’s a few shots in already.”

“You think?” Dean asked.

You nodded in agreement, rolling your eyes. If there was one thing you could count on, it was for Nick Savage to be drinking.

“He knows how to act when everyone’s watching,” you said. 

You looked up at the high-vaulted ceilings and expensive artwork on the walls, not noticing how Dean glanced at you with the edge of a frown.

At the very least, the food was excellent. It was served in a large back room that served as a banquet hall, meant for entertaining.

There you and Dean actually had a good time, with you sipping on red wine and Dean on a glass of the “good stuff,” all while playing cards with Andréa and Benny and a few of your coworkers on the sales team.

“I just can’t believe Adam quit, to join our main competitor, no less,” said Marv. “I had absolutely no idea he was thinking of leaving.”

He was the team gossip. He prided himself on knowing every coming and going on the sales floor, which confounded you, since Marv was also a bit of a hermit. He either kept to his office like it was a bomb shelter, or you could catch him in the break lounge grabbing yet another coffee, all the while keeping his ear perked up for scraps of conversation.

“Yeah, you did, Marv,” you replied with a smirk. “You’re the one who saw Adam’s resignation letter on his own desk.”

He hadn’t even handed said letter to Nick yet.

“Well, I knew it then, obviously,” Marv said, with his hands open wide. “It leaves us without a manager…which I think, not for long.”

His eyes met yours knowingly.

You smiled. “We’ll see. I think Josh is playing kiss-ass tonight.”

You turned your head and spotted Nick and Josh taking shots of tequila together at the bar, with the latter wincing at the burn with a lime peel in his mouth. Josh’s wife was sitting off to the side, rolling her eyes.

Your gaze focused on your boss for a moment. You shook your head at the state of him, with a loose tie and the top buttons undone on his shirt, laughing boisterously and egging Josh on.

Fucking frat bros.

“That’s your boss, huh?” Benny remarked.

“In all his Cuervo-stained glory,” Marv replied. He shook his head as well.    

It made you realize something.

As nice a time as you’d been having, for about an hour at most, your good mood soured the moment you were reminded of the office politics. Of Josh and Nick and everything in between. Was this really what you wanted for the rest of your career?

The rest of your life?

Maybe Dean was right, you thought. You knew you were good at your job. You knew you were fortunate to even have a job that paid your bills…but maybe “being good” wasn’t enough for you.

If there was one thing you’d learned from your grandfather’s death, it was that peace was precarious. And sacrificing too many parts of yourself, for money, wasn’t a fulfilling life or even a happy one.

You wanted to be happy. You also wanted peace.

So you leaned over and laid a hand on Dean’s, which rested on the round table.

“Hey,” you whispered.

His head bowed near yours. “Hmm?”

“Wanna get out of here?” you asked. He raised his brows at you.

“Really? I thought you needed to stay and schmooze with your people,” he replied.

You smiled and drew your thumb across the inside of his wrist. “I think I’m done.”

Dean looked a bit confused. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. And you brushed your lips against the corner of his mouth. “You were right. It’s not worth it.”

A flicker of a smile began to tug at his lips, but his brows drew together.

“Hey. Are you sure?” he asked. “Don’t bow out just because of me—”

Your hand tightened on his wrist.

“No, baby. It’s me. My choice,” you said. “Let me just use the restroom real quick, and we can go.”

Dean nodded, and you stood.  

“What, are you leaving?” Andréa asked. She was tucked into Benny’s side with a piece of red velvet cake poised on her fork. “You didn’t even finish your cake!”

You laughed. Turning down dessert was a big deal for you, but you’d live.

“It’s okay,” you said. “I just need to call it a night, but I’ll be back in a sec to say goodbye. Hold on.”

Andréa blew out a breath as you walked away from the table.

“She’s gonna miss the White Elephant gift exchange. Last year, someone got a 60” smart TV,” she said.

Benny whistled.

“I wouldn’t mind an upgrade,” he said. He shot Dean a glance. “What do you think the guys would do if we showed up with something like that to the station?”

Dean scoffed. “I think the Chief would have a damn conniption.”

Bobby was old-school. He thought they had enough distractions from the job as it was.

“Probably right,” Benny chuckled.

Andréa smiled in amusement. But her eyes clocked the way Nick glanced your way as you walked by, down the hall and to the right. She sipped at her glass of pinot grigio to wash down the rich cake.

Still, she discreetly watched the man down another shot before he took his leave of the bar. He laughed at something Josh said and waved him off.

She gave Nick credit for not stumbling on his feet, and only swaying slightly on the same path you took down the hall. It didn’t mean he was following you, necessarily. This house was like a small Smithsonian. And yet, something niggled in the back of her mind. 

Andréa remembered how you’d acted at dinner the other day when talking about Nick. And how drained you’d seemed lately when she saw you after work. She’d thought that was just about finding your way after George’s death…

Marv distracted her with a question as Dean and Benny continued to talk, and she answered him with her usual charm. But she kept one eye on the hallway, waiting for you to come back.

She made it about another minute before she turned to Benny and Dean, leaning in close.

“Hey, Dean,” she said. “Maybe you want to check on her? She’s taking a while.”

Dean didn’t look concerned as he checked his watch. It hadn’t been all that long, but he still pulled out his phone to text you.

“She left her purse here,” Andréa said. She started to get up out of her seat. “I’m just gonna go see if she’s okay.”

Benny grabbed her hand before she left the table.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked. 

“I’m not sure,” she said, but she met Dean’s confused gaze. “Okay, look. I’ve been noticing some things with her recently. I have no evidence except for how well I know that woman, but something’s off with her. It happens every time she talks about that asshole Nick.”

Dean’s brows furrowed as he tried to read between the lines.

“What’re you saying exactly?” he asked.

Andréa let out a breath. “I’m saying, I’ve got a bad feeling.”

You hummed as you washed your hands in the bathroom. Wine runs right through me. I should know better.

You’d also been trying to quell your anxieties and just get through the night. But you realized now that there was no kind of calm like the peace you had, now that you knew what you needed to do. Starting tomorrow, you were going to start looking for a new job.

A knock at the door made you jolt slightly.

“Someone’s in here!” you called without looking over your shoulder. You finished washing your hands and dried them on the hand towel hanging on a silver wall rack.

The door cracked open, but before you could protest, a man stumbled in.

Of fucking course it was Nick Savage.

“Excuse me?!” you breathed in shock. You watched with wide eyes as he pushed the door closed and seemed to take notice of you for the first time. He smirked.

“Oh, hey,” he said. Somehow, he was only slurring a little. He straightened his white blazer. The black satin shirt he wore was wrinkled and he smelled heavily of tequila, and that was with a couple of feet of distance between you two.

Your shock finally melted into a glare. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Gotta take a leak. It’s my house after all,” he shrugged, leaning a hand on the wall closest to the door for balance.

You shook your head, and with a huff, you tried to get by him.

His hand wrapped around your arm. “Hey, we didn’t get a chance to catch up tonight.”

You shoved his hand off of you.

“Don’t you ever in your life touch me again,” you warned him. Your eyes were as hard as your voice. “I don’t think there’s anyone on the planet—no. In the whole damn universe who sickens me more than you, Nick Savage.”

Nick straightened a little, frowning at you. Whatever he saw in your gaze, he didn’t seem to like the challenge. When you reached for the doorknob again, he grabbed your arm and shoved you hard into the nearest wall.

You gasped as the air rushed out of your lungs. Before you even realized what was happening, you felt his clammy hands on your bare shoulders, his hot alcoholic breath on your face. You raised your hands in defense, pushing against his chest.

He was taller and stronger and pinned you harder against the wall, with his knee shoving its way between your legs. You stared up with wide eyes of fear, and his hand clamped over your mouth to stifle your scream.

Your nails bit into his arm and wrist, trying to peel back his sweaty hand, just an inch to free your voice and let you breathe. To your left you heard the door bang open.

Please—

And the hand was peeled away entirely.

You could only blink and watch as Dean barreled through, grabbing Nick and bodily hurling him away. Nick opened his mouth to spout something angrily, but Dean continued to stalk forward and grab the man again.

Nick attempted a lazy swing at Dean’s head, but he bat it away. His fist connected roughly with Nick’s face, snapping his head back with a cry.

It was almost too fast for you to track what was happening right in front of you, but Dean dragged the drunkard the rest of the way across the bathroom, even over the tub, and slammed him against the beige tile so hard that it knocked a few of them loose. Nick’s head smacked audibly against them and he groaned at the impact.

The men were around the same height, but Dean was honed by years of firefighting and fueled by rage. One hand gripped high on Nick’s collar, while his arm pressed against the man’s chest. Then into his throat.

“Give me a reason,” Dean said, in a voice much calmer than he felt. Behind his eyes was wildfire.

“What?” Nick choked.

You finally broke through enough of your shock to know you had to do something.

“Dean!” you uttered. You cautiously went to him, but he glanced at you over his shoulder in warning.

“Stay there,” he told you firmly. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you said, even though your voice shook. “Let’s just go.”

Despite the blood dripping down from his likely bruised nose, Nick chortled a laugh. It earned Dean’s slow head turn, returning his attention to the decision at hand. His fist tightened in Nick’s shirt.

“You heard me,” Dean said. His voice was laced with steel. “I said give me a reason not to break your miserable fucking neck.”

“Dean,” you gasped.

“Not sure that’s a good idea, fireman,” Nick slurred. “I clearly don’t have all my wits about me right now. Can’t be held lia…li-ble for my actions, now can I? I’ll have your badge by end of the week.”

You let out a harsh breath and finally went to Dean. You laid a hand on his back. Every muscle was tense and straining under his white dress shirt.

“Dean,” you pressed. “Let him go. He’s not worth it.”

Nick smirked lazily in Dean’s face. It was the look of a man who was used to getting his way.

“I’d listen to her,” he said, with a mocking glint in his eyes. “Or I could just fire her on Monday. Make it easy on myself.”

Dean seethed. His forearm slowly rolled harder into the man’s neck, pressing on his windpipe. The sounds of choked air were satisfying.

“Yeah, or I’ll have the police down here in ten minutes or less,” said Dean. “I’ll clue you in on a little something. My dad’s a cop. I’ll reckon he’ll be happy to put a fucking douchebag like you in the can with the real charmers.”

Dean gave a mocking glance to Nick’s silk shirt, his gold pinky ring and loafers.

“How long do you think it’ll take for one of ‘em to make you their little bitch?” Dean said.

Nick glared back at him, with a frisson of intimidation behind his eyes. He glanced at you over his shoulder. Dean noticed and tightened his hold.

“Don’t you look at her, you piece of shit!” he warned. His voice was low and dangerous. “Make your choice. You gonna come down to the station easy, or difficult? Please say difficult.”

Nick held up placating hands. He shifted uncomfortably against the wall; one foot was planted on the ground while the other was in the tub. The shower curtain was half off its hooks.

Dean eased up enough for Nick to take a breath.

“Okay, let’s say we do that,” he said, with a cough. “I’ll get bail. Then I’ll fucking walk, ‘cause I own this town.” 

“You mean your dad does,” you snapped.

Nick rolled his eyes. “Same name, same shit, sweetheart.”

Dean grit his teeth and tightened his grip again in warning. You wrapped your hand around his arm, but he didn’t budge.

Nick met his eyes.

“How about this. Get your greasy fucking hands off me, and we’ll call tonight a wash,” he proposed. “No foul, we all take our balls and go home.”

He then snorted at his own joke. “Balls…”

Dean tilted his head, but didn’t move a muscle. “Or?”

Once again, Nick smirked.

“I’ll report you to your boss for assaulting me in my own house. And uh, she’ll be fired, obviously.” He shrugged. “By the time my lawyers get done with her, she won’t be able to sling lattes at Starbucks.”

Dean’s face was stony, tight with outrage. His whole body was coiled like a spring as every cell in his body fought against ripping this man apart.

But he still felt your hands around his arm, trying to pull him back.

“Dean, don’t. He’s not worth your career. Please,” you begged.

The bathroom door pushed open again, and he heard Benny’s voice.

“Hey, brother.” He dropped a careful hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Come on, now. You got him. Ease up now.”

Dean’s teeth ground together. He looked down, and his stare bored into Nick’s. Dean pressed his forearm into the other man’s throat again, enough to almost feel the give as the man struggled for breath.

“Remember how that feels,” Dean said icily. “20579, Dean Winchester. The next time you want to threaten my badge, that’s my number.”

Nick’s eyes widened slightly. At the time, Dean took it as fear. But really, it was recognition.

Winchester, Nick thought.

Dean then leaned in closer, so only Nick would hear his next lowered words.

“First and last warning,” Dean said. “If you touch her again. If I hear anything more about you giving her a hard time, not a dime in the world is gonna save you from me.”

When Dean finally pulled his arm away and let go, Nick’s face was red and spluttering as he coughed and slumped into the bathtub.

Dean turned on his heel in anger and disgust. Andréa was supporting you with her arm around yours, but she released you to let Dean take over. You stared up at him with tearful eyes, and you reached for his hand.

He took it, holding you steady. He then wrapped an arm around your shoulders and guided you out of the bathroom.

The air was tense and silent inside the Impala. It was a long drive back to your house, and Dean hadn’t looked at you once in 20 minutes. His gaze was firmly on the road. He hadn’t even turned on the radio.

You had his suit jacket draped around your frame, but your insides still felt cold. You glanced over at him and stared at his profile for a moment, wishing you knew what to say to break the silence. To reassure him that you were fine. (Even though it would've been a lie.)

He felt your stare and turned his head towards you.

“How long has this been going on?” he asked. His voice was gruff. “Andréa said she’s been noticing something off about you for a while.”

Your lips pressed together. “Can this part wait until we get home…please?”

Dean’s jaw ticked, but he turned back to the road ahead.

The car was silent for the rest of the hour.

It was a relief to turn the key into the door lock and step through the threshold of your house. Dean followed you inside and tossed his wallet and car keys on the side table by the door.

Somehow he always managed to miss the little basket you put there for exactly those things, but you weren’t about to remind him.

You slipped off your heels and went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, to steady yourself. Dean leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. He didn’t say anything, but you still felt his eyes on you.

With a sigh, you turned and met his gaze.

“Just tell me,” he said. “How long?”

You took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

“It started before I even met you, Dean.” 

His brows raised high. He tilted his head at you as incredulous anger tightened his face.

“What?” he said. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

You shook your head and grabbed his arm. “Okay, come here.”

You led him into the living room and sat beside him on the couch. You explained that it started small, with compliments on your clothes, your hair. Then it was lingering looks, “innocent” brushes of his hand, touching your arm, your shoulder.

When you’d tried to put distance between you and Nick, the drunken shenanigans began. The comments grew heinous and sickening, and so did his threats.

And nothing you did worked. Not distance and professionalism. Not refusing his advances outright. Not threatening to go to HR.

All while you spoke, Dean was quiet, but on edge. You saw it in how he gripped his knee, with his other hand fisted against his mouth, elbow resting on his thigh.

But the hardest part of the conversation came when you told Dean about the day of the car accident—how Nick had demanded you come to his office and gave you a sickening ultimatum.

At that, Dean could no longer remain still. He got up and started to pace across the living room. He was a man of action, you knew, and his reaction was almost everything you’d feared.

I should've told him, you thought. You knew.

Although you now felt relieved, even in your guilt, you also knew this next part wasn’t going to be fun either. Because Dean finally erupted.

“And you didn’t tell anyone?” he asked.

Briefly, you closed your eyes. “No.”

“Why? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” His hand buried itself in his hair as his jaw clenched. Even if your friend Andréa hadn’t known, she’d still seen enough to suspect something. It completely blew his mind, in the worst of ways.

“Jesus Christ!” he shook his head. “Why am I always the last one to know when something’s going on with you?”

Tears watered in your eyes as you looked up at him. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off.

“I mean, really. What are we doing here, huh?” he exclaimed, his hands open wide. “Honestly, tell me. Because if you can’t trust me, then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

Your eyes widened, a trill of panic lacing down your spine. You stood up and went to him. 

“Dean, please, it wasn’t about that,” you said. You implored him with your eyes to understand. “I wanted to tell someone…God, you don’t know how bad I wanted to tell you. But I knew how you’d react. Just like this. I didn’t want to make the situation worse!”

He frowned deeply. “You didn’t want help? You didn’t want me to protect you?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” you snapped. But then, you sucked in a shaking breath, trying to calm yourself. You got closer and rested a hand against his chest.

“Of course I’m grateful that you protected me. Dean, I love you for it.”

You grasped the ends of his jacket with both hands. All you really wanted to do was bury yourself in his warmth and sleep for the next ten years. You were still raw and frayed inside.

Dean looked down at you, and his heart clenched. He couldn’t help but hold you back. His arms wound around your lower back as he pulled you against him. His chin rested above your head, and you sighed in relief.

“I thought I could handle it,” you confessed, in a smaller voice. “I worked so damn hard…I wanted to fight for my job. But Nick knew I didn’t have the money or the resources to fight back for real if I reported him, or even if I sued him. And before tonight, I didn’t have enough to take to the police.”

Dean pulled away just enough to see your face. He grasped your arms, gentle but firm.

“I’ll take you to the station right now,” he said. “My dad can help you. Hell, Sam can help you.”

You bit your lip and shook your head.   

“You heard him, Dean. With his money and connections, he’ll get off. And then he’ll make both of our lives hell,” you said. “He’ll go after your badge—”

“He can fucking try,” he snapped.

“Stop, okay? I don’t want that,” you pleaded.

A sharp breath escaped through his nose, and he let you go.

“You’re fucking impossible, you know that?” he said. “How can I help you if you won’t let me?”

He was beside himself with frustration, and even hurt. You knew it in the way he tried to walk away from you, but you reached for his arm to stop him, with tears burning in your eyes. You didn’t want him to think that you didn’t want his support. That you didn’t trust him.

Because that couldn’t have been any farther from the truth.

“I’m sorry!” Your tears finally escaped, trailing down your cheeks. You tugged him back towards you, earning his furrowed glance. “I was…scared. I…I didn’t know what to do. Maybe I just didn’t want to deal with it at all.”

The longer Dean looked at your face, the more he crumbled.

Once again, he turned to gather you back into his arms. And there your tears fell in earnest. Your body trembled with quiet sobs, and he held you tighter. His heart broke a little more as his hand soothed over your hair. He shushed you more gently, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“Okay. It’s okay. Don’t apologize. You shouldn’t have had to deal with this, let alone for this damn long,” Dean said. His gaze raised heavenward for a moment as he mentally kicked himself. You didn’t deserve this, or his anger either. 

He just couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed any signs, like Andréa had. All these months… It threatened to drive him up a fucking wall.

“You’re safe, and I’ve got you,” he said, continuing to hold you securely against him. “We’ll handle this, like everything else.”

After a moment, you nodded, letting out another shaky breath. You squeezed your eyes shut and buried your face into his chest.

You already knew you must’ve looked a state, after the night you’d had, but you didn’t truly realize it until you were looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Mascara and lipstick smudged, hair disheveled, tears staining your cheeks.

Ugh. You hastily scrubbed your face clean with makeup wipes. Then you tamed your hair, brushing through the frizz and calming it back into relative normalcy.

You went for the zipper of your dress next, but you couldn’t get it down all the way. You turned to look over your shoulder.

“Dean,” you called. 

He was in your room, rifling through his bag to grab the clothes he’d brought to sleep in.

“Yeah?” he answered.

“Come ‘ere a sec?”

He obliged you, drawing into the bathroom. His white dress shirt was only half unbuttoned, the sleeves rolled up. You met his eyes in the mirror.

“Can you unzip me?” you asked.

Dean looked down where your hands were holding both sides of the zipper on your dress. He took one side from you and unzipped it the rest of the way, stopping at the small of your back. He caught sight of the red, sheer lingerie underneath.

Noticing the way he paused, you smiled slightly. You turned toward him and tugged the dress down the rest of the way, so he could see the rest of the ensemble. It was a simple corset-style nightie, but true to your word, the lace was paired with satin trim lines.

Your hands ran up his sternum and undid the last buttons on his shirt. You grasped near his collar and leaned up on your toes for a slow kiss. Dean unconsciously held you to him by your shoulders, his eyes closing at the feel of you.

But when they next opened, he caught sight of the bruise on your shoulder. It was about the size of a thumbprint.

His throat tightened. After a moment, he parted from you, but he didn’t continue where you left off. You looked up at him in confusion.

“Baby?” you asked.

Dean shook his head. He couldn’t answer you; couldn’t even articulate what the hell was in his head. So he just turned and went back into the room for his change of clothes. It left you frowning, bereft, and worried.

You changed into an old shirt and some shorts before you got into bed. You slipped under the covers and watched Dean. He sat with his back to you as he unclipped his watch and set it down on the nightstand. By now he’d changed into his faded, gray Lawrence Fire Department shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

Your throat constricted with emotion, namely with anxiety.

“Are you still mad at me?” you asked.

Dean paused. He glanced back at you, saw you laying there with a hand gripped into the covers. His brows furrowed when he saw your shining tears.

He turned and got into bed with you. He slid his arm under your head and wordlessly encouraged you to come closer. His free hand soothed across your arm.

“I’m not mad at you,” he said at last. But he was still upset, and deeply unsettled. As the night replayed in his mind, he knew that at the root of his fury, there was fear. 

“I just keep thinking,” he said. “What would’ve happened if I hadn’t called out of work tonight.”

You looked down at that. You laid a hand on his chest.

“I wouldn’t have gone to the party,” you said. Though if you were honest with yourself, you probably would’ve thought yourself safe with Benny and Andréa. “I just…I really didn’t think he would try to—”

You tried to take a breath to steady yourself, but it was a tremulous release. The memory flashed behind your eyes, the remnants of panic and fear under your skin.

You didn’t realize you were crying until Dean’s hand was caressing your cheek, brushing away your tears.

“All right, shhh. I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s over,” he said. Once again, he pulled you into his arms and held you close. Guilt hit him between the ribs for upsetting you all over again. “I promise you’re safe, and I’ve got you.”

You did your best to take in deep breaths, letting them out more steadily. Dean wanted to put the matter to bed for tonight. He really did…but he couldn’t help pressing one last thing.

“Just tell me you’re not going back there on Monday, unless it’s to HR,” he said. 

You paused, shook your head a little. You didn’t want to rev him up again, but you knew Nick. 

“He doesn’t make idle threats, Dean,” you reminded him. “But there’s a reason why he waited until tonight, at his house. He’s not going to try his luck at the office, where everyone’s watching.”

“You don’t know that,” Dean retorted.

You saw his point, but you almost didn’t want to acknowledge it. You couldn’t afford to quit.

“I still need my job, for now,” you said. “But I will start looking for something else, so I can get out as soon as possible. I promise.”

Dean wasn’t happy. Both of you knew it. You also sensed that he wanted to argue more, but was holding back for now. You appreciated that.

You truly didn’t want to get into it anymore with him. You just wanted to close your eyes and try to forget about tonight, knowing that you’d fail. 

Dean still held you, with his hands rubbing up and down your back. His touch and his heartbeat soothed you until you managed to fall asleep. 

AN: Dean knows, and it ain't pretty. What did you think of the confrontation? Unfortunately, I'm drawing from real events here (not myself).

Next Time:

The mystery of "Azazel" thickens, Dean deals with another tricky fire, and the reader has a realization of her own...

“Yeah, well. This one’s a rat bastard in human clothing,” you replied.

“Ooh, sounds like my old biology professor,” Jo chimed in. She was drying out some newly clean glasses behind the counter along with Ellen. “He had a reputation for scoping out freshman girls.”

You made a gagging sound as you reached for the delectable martini glass Ellen slid your way.

“Men are disgusting,” you said. Jo snorted.

“99.8% of them, yeah,” she said. But her gaze drew towards the door when Dean Winchester came in. And she added, “A few of ‘em are all right.”

Was it just you, or was there a softer look in her blue eyes when she noticed Dean?

Keep Reading: PART 14

Dean Winchester Masterlist

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[v0idtalking]

July 1st, 2023

angry angry angry angry. hate this man angry angry hate hate hate him.

can never get rid of him either bc we are so fucking poor and have no choice I hate this country. i hate the supreme court too are you fucking kidding me not only do i have to deal with this fucking situation even though they are fucking divorced and im an adult (theres a child in the mix and i have to watch her suffer like i did and provide for her where he doesnt) but i also have to deal with increasing hate crimes and the descent into fascism and my country actively and legally discriminating against me. dont even get me started on the isolation and neglect and my powerlessness when it comes to both those things. i fucking hate.

it is so hard to keep going toward a future where i might be happy because i simply might be too poor or i might simply get fucking killed or simply fall into a depression again and again and again. it never ends. never a way out. i can only keep going and i will keep going for her because I have no choice no fucking choice never a choice and on the rare chance i do im sure I usually make the wrong one. even if i make the right one im always fucking in a rut. doomed since birth because of who and what and where and when and it never leaves and tends to get worse even under the illusion of getting better.

so angry so angry its already so hard and im just about in the most vulnerable and difficult and disheartening position out of all of them and he then goes and makes it fucking harder and im powerless and cant do anything EVER! im a fucking kid again and I will never forgive him. i never have. ive only been civil unlike fucking him.

i love parts of him but mostly i dislike the whole of him. I know i dont have to justify anything he knows what he's done over and over and how he's purposely and directly and to our faces hurt all of us. I dont have to justify but i am not as heartless as he is and i need to keep with that. i dont wish him ill will but i want him gone for almost forever and when he is gone from this world i will mourn but i will dually feel relief and if that isnt the saddest thing.

you miserable little man. are you proud of yourself. is this all worth it. you're pathetic. Yeah I will keep fucking going and it will suck the whole time but at least one day ill get us away from you and your power over us.

the power which is only financial. men like you have no power. there is only ash in your mouth where you convince yourself there is the sweetness of superiority, the sourness of being a victim. you delusional pathetic ass. one day you will be entirely alone. I will get us out from under you, out from under this scheme you pulled.

and you will have nothing. you will be nothing. and it will be your fault. and you know that. you perpetuate it for your insecure delusions. and we know it too. so go ahead and wait. god knows I am. im really just biding my time here. you may have the advantage now. but that will change and when it does you will never hear from me. i will be gone and in my absence there will be power. fuck you.

you know how this ends. enjoy your selfmade condemnation. it will feel a lot worse than how youve made us feel and what im feeling now. live with it you miserable old shit. try living with yourself and see what happens 🖕

[bradshawed]

OKAY OKAY YOU DONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS AT ALL BUT YOU SHOULD WRITE LIKE A STEVE ONESHOT THING WHERE HES DATING (Y/N OR OC IM NOT PICKY) BUT HES STILL PINING FOR NANCY AND LIKE STILL IN LOVE WITH HER SO HIS S/O BREAKS UP WITH HIM BC SHES TIRED OF BEING LIKE "A BACKUP OPTION" AND ALWAYS SECOND CHOICE TO NANCY AND ITS LIKE SUPER ANGSTY AND BASICALLY IT TAKES BEING WITHOUT THEM FOR STEVE TO REALIZE HOW MUCH HE LOVED THEM AND THEN THERES LIKE A LOVE CONFESSION. (THAT WAS A CRAZY RUN-ON SENTENCE OMG)

YOU CAN IGNORE THIS IF YOU DONT LIKE THE IDEA THO <3

Second Best — Steve Harrington

summary — nancy wheeler, the one who got away. she’d always be his first love and you’d always be second best so what was the point of pretending he could love you even just a little?

warning/tags — fem!reader, she/her pronouns, angst, steve being dumb, swearing, bits of stancy, arguing, fluff, the gang scheming

note — thank you so much for requesting! I absolutely adore this idea and loved writing it so so much, I hope I did it justice even if I did slightly go off the prompt. you’re an incredible writer, one of my favourites on wp, and I can’t wait to read your works on here too. I love you tons! thank you again and I hope you like it <3 also, credits to soph for steve’s middle name, ilysm!

word count — 2.5k words

This was the third time in the space of a couple of minutes that you’ve caught Steve staring at Nancy from where he sat on the couch, to say you were sick of it would be an understatement.

It had been movie night with the whole group which had truthfully been long overdue and very much needed but surprisingly difficult to plan with everyone’s hectic schedules. But here you all were, finally relaxing for the first time in months in Steve’s spacious living room among a bundle of cushions, in what should’ve resembled a fort built by the boys. The second movie of the night was playing on the projector that Robin and Max had set up and an abundance of snacks and sugary drinks had been brought beforehand to account for everyone’s tastebuds. With the way things were going, however, it seemed like staying over at Steve’s after the night was over was simply out of the question.

Dustin sent you a sad look from his position on the floor smothered by multiple duvets. It would have been funny if it hadn’t been for the situation. The room seemed to cool another ten degrees when Steve unwrapped his arm from around your shoulders mid-scene, shifting away from you slightly. You were both oceans apart and yet he didn’t even seem to notice the space between you. And this wasn’t the first time it had happened either.

The credits rolled in and Nancy offered to grab more snacks while the kids decided on the next movie. Steve practically jumped at the chance to follow her to the kitchen, or maybe you were just overreacting like usual. It didn’t matter anyway, the fact was that he was with her, not you and the way he looked at her told you everything that had been left unsaid.

You quietly got up from your place on the couch, surrounded by colourful blankets and softly padded around the room, picking up your car keys from where you’d left them and moving to the hallway to put on your coat and shoes. El moved to stop you but Eddie gently placed a hand on her shoulder, letting you go with a sad nod. You couldn’t stay, they knew that, but still, some part of you wishes they would’ve asked. You might have not been there from the beginning but they loved you all the same, if not even more and vice versa. You were the missing piece in their family and for them, you’d do anything even if it meant watching Steve pin for his ex girlfriend.

You’d almost made it to your car before Steve appeared at the door, the expression on his face a mix of everything and seemingly nothing you were looking for all at once. “Where are you going, the movie’s about to start. Mike’s picked out some cheesy horror movie which I know you love to watch and Nance has opened up the last pack of those giggles cookies you love with the weird faces on them-” You hated horror movies, regardless of if they were cheesy and predictable or not, and those giggle cookies with fudge and vanilla cream in them- god you hate them too. You’d eat fudge by itself but for some reason when it’s added to something else it just doesn’t taste right to you.

“Steve.. I’m not feeling great, I’m gonna head home a little early.” You knew he didn’t believe you. You never could lie to him, and his judging eyes told you enough. Not to mention you called him Steve, you never call him Steve, but he didn’t notice.

“You seemed fine a while ago to me. What’s wrong, maybe you can lay down in the spare room?” There he goes treating you like you’re one of the kids and not his girlfriend but that’s not what irks you the most, it’s the fact that mentions the spare room. Not his room, the spare. “Nance can give you one of her green teas, they’re magical I swear, you’ll feel better in an instant. Actually, let me ask her now.” He walked away towards the door, completely disregarding anything you’d said, acting for a moment that he was even paying attention to you tonight bringing up Nancy again and suddenly, you’re done.

“No!” Steve pauses mid stride, hand on the half opened door, slowly turning around shocked by the volume and the panic in your voice, “I’m done Steve, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Wh-what?!”

“You’re in love with Nancy.”

“I’m what-?!”

“Ha, see you can’t even deny it.”

“Because there’s nothing to deny!” His voice raises even further. He’s never raised his voice at you. He knows how much you hate it and it reminds him of his father so he never did; guess there was a first time for everything.

“Don’t. You don’t love me, you never have. You don’t even know my favourite movie genre or my favourite snack-”

“Yes I do, I just told you!”

“Those are Nancy’s fucking favourites! See you’re pinning after her with those love sick eyes of yours and you don’t even know it.”

“What so not knowing your favourite movie genre or snack is a crime now?! So I’m expected to know everything about my girlfriend?” This elicits a rather loud scoff from you causing Steve to clench his fists in frustration and anger. “We’ve been dating for almost a year so yes, I do expect you to at least know those two things.”

Steve starts again but you cut him off fearing that if you don’t get it out now then you’ll go back to apologising to him the next day and burying it even deeper within you. “It’s her, it’s always been her. I don’t know why I even bothered but I thought you were over her, I truly did. But every time she walks into a room your eyes brighten and they don’t leave her for a single fucking second. You bring her up into every single conversation as if her ghost wasn’t already haunting our relationship and I feel like I’m always being compared to her in everything that I do. Stevie I love you, I truly do but I’m sick of feeling like I’m second place.”

Silence. He doesn’t say anything for what feels like forever. You wished he’d say something, anything, do something to prove you wrong, to tell you it was all in your head or that he’d change, that things would get better. A flash of emotion appears on his face before he puts back on his ‘King Steve’ mask. He never used that with you.

“Okay.” That’s all he says before turning back towards the door and leaving you standing out there in the cold.

That was months ago and here you were with the gang calling you from a pay phone on a Sunday. It seemed like your plans of crying your eyes out to another sappy romance movie that reminded you of your relationship with Steve had been ruined. “Heyyy Y/Nnnn”, came a sheepish voice from the other end of the phone call.

You knew they could feel your eye roll from there, “What do you guys need?”

“What, can’t we call our favourite adult and tell her that we miss her?!”

“Ignoring the fact that this is the first time you’ve called me in months, no Dustin, you can’t call without wanting something first. And favourite?! Ha, nice one. What do you want?”

“Can you please pick us up from the skatepark?” At least he had the common sense to give the phone to Max when the gang wanted something, they all knew she was your soft spot. Then for the millionth time that day, like every other day, your mind went straight to Steve. Where was he? Shouldn’t he be picking up the kids? Why would he just leave them there? They could’ve called anyone else, so why you? And then as if she knew the thoughts running through your head she added, “we didn’t want to bother Eddie and Steve was meant to pick us at two but we got bored and felt bad for asking him to pick us up earlier when he was already in a bad mood this morning and-”

“It’s okay sweetheart, hang tight and I’ll be there in ten. Don’t go anywhere and stick together okay?”

“Yes mum.” And Dustin was back.

He hung up the phone and you went to get changed as quick as you could, sliding along the wooden floor in your socks. If Steve was here now, he’d be laughing his beautiful laugh, teasing you before acting out the scene from ‘Risky Business’, maybe even twirling you around the living room. Shaking your head to prevent more tears from falling, you grabbed your coat and car keys and made your way out the door.

There was a catch. Of course there had to be a catch. Why didn’t you think about this before?!You’d successfully picked up the kids and they’d all piled into your car with their gear when Dustin remembered he’d left something important at Steve’s and needed to pick it up. So here you were driving to your ex boyfriend’s house cursing wildly in your head. It would be fine. You were only going to stay in the car. You wouldn’t even have to see him… right?

Wrong. Fate, aka the kids, had different plans.

Pulling into the driveway, the first thing you noticed was the fairy lights stung around the house. It was still light out, Christmas and New Years were over, Valentine’s Day was even further away, so why were there fairy lights? Why were there sunflowers lining the driveway? Had you stumbled upon Steve’s love confession to Nancy. Oh god. You hoped not.

Here you were, standing on Steve’s porch, knocking on his door instead of Dustin and you hadn’t the slightest clue of how you got there except you figured you’d been roped into some wild scheme that wasn’t going to end well. Fuck me.

Steve Willow Harrington opened the door in all his beautiful glory holding a bouquet of sunflowers, a pack of care bear waffles and ‘The Breakfast Club’. Who the hell allowed him to look so good?!

“Hi.”

No, this was absolutely not happening. He would not turn your heart into mush with one syllable. You started to turn around to leave but his reflexes were faster and he grabbed your hand, the skin heating up under his touch and your heart kickstarted into motion at the electricity that danced along his fingers onto yours. “Please. Don’t go.”

You froze in place. Head and heart conflicted but once you saw the expression on the kids’ faces you understood. He gently pulled you towards him, albeit with a little caution, turning your body but still you refused to look at him. “These are for you.” You accepted them, focusing on the sunshine petals instead of his face until your felt his fingers gently gripping your chin, tilting your head upwards so you were looking into his eyes. Steve’s eyes shone with the telltale sign of tears and regret and something else that you’d only seen when he looked at her. It was love. No. It couldn’t be. You took a step back needing the distance to gather your thoughts. He didn’t get to do this to you, he didn’t get to hurt you all over again.

“I’m sorry. I-” you shook your head, your own tears glistening your eyes making them shine in the fairy lights. “I had a whole speech planned out funnily enough but I see you again for one second and you’ve got speechless. God I- I drove over to your house in the middle of the night to apologise after that day and I chickened out every single time until they all knocked some sense into me.” He nodded behind you towards where the kids were anxiously watching the scene unfolding before them.

“I thought I heard your car but every time I’d look out the window there was no one there so I stopped looking.”

Steve sighed sadly, “You deserve better- you deserved better. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. I shouldn’t have made you feel like you were second place, not to Nancy and not to anyone. I should have showed you I cared, that you mattered, that I did know you loved binge watching those sappy romance movies and pointing out bits that reminded you of us and that your favourite snack were those ridiculously overpriced care bear waffles with the rainbow specks of berries because you’d had them since you were a child and refused to give them up. But I didn’t do any of the things I should have. I fucked up and I don’t deserve you. And the worst thing is, I don’t even have a reason why I did them. I think some part of me was terrified of the uncertainty, of the unknown, of how it felt to have someone I was scared to lose. So I buried how I felt about you and turned to something familiar, to something that I could hold onto even if I didn’t actually care about them. It took losing you to realise just how wrong I was and how badly I’d treated you. And I know it doesn’t justify any of what I did to you but I want you to know that I’m sorry and if I could do it all over again, I would do it differently. I would fight for you instead of leaving you there and I would show you exactly how I feel about you.”

You were both crying now, “and how do you feel about me?” The air stilled in anticipation, your fingers twisting around the fabric of your sleeve in a nervous dance.

“I love you.”

That admission of love, and the fact that he said it so easily like it was a fact that everyone should know, knocked the air out of your lungs. You felt breathless after his speech.

“I won’t deny that you hurt me and maybe I do deserve better but I know you can give it to me just as I hope I can give it to you. It won’t be easy and it will take time and a lot of work to get to- to us but if you’re willing to put in the work…” Steve nodded his head enthusiastically, tears slipping down his cheeks for he’d feared the worst, “then I am too.” Then came his megawatt smile, eyes crinkling at the edges from pure happiness. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders delicately so as to not damage the flowers, while yours wrapped around his waist. The kids were dancing by your car, pumping their fists into the air but neither of you payed any attention to them.

“And for the record, I love you too Stevie.”