#and therefore whenever a relationship has issues we IMMEDIATELY place them in the Victim Role or The Lady In The Tower

[margridarnauds]

I’m sleep deprived, so have my B5 Hot Take:

If the roles had been reversed, with Sheridan trying to get Delenn to have sex in front of a crowd because of his culture, with Delenn highly reluctant after having been led to believe she was JUST having sex with him, the fandom would not be NEARLY as keen to paint him in the right and her as disrespectful

[pass-the-bechdel]

Orphan Black season two full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (ten of ten).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

50.4%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

All ten.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

None, obviously.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-four. Sixteen who appear in more than one episode, ten who appear in at least half the episodes, and two who appear in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-two. Sixteen who appear in more than one episode, nine who appear in at least half the episodes, and one who appears in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Thinks it’s better than it is. While there are undeniable positive points to the show, the creators are coasting on those and apparently oblivious to the problematic elements that still exist, which are more troubling this time around than they were in season one (average rating of 2.8). 

General Season Quality:

Better than the first, and mostly gripping and intriguing and surprising in quality dramatic turns rather than lazy flashy twists just for twists’ sake. That said, there are some duds in there that really interrupt the flow of story. There’s still a lot of room for improvement.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Let’s talk about dudes.

Normally, I don’t go for the guy discussions in these season reviews unless a) there are almost no women to speak of on the show, and/or b) I’m several seasons in and I have nothing to say about the women that I haven’t already said in previous reviews. Neither of those is true in this case, but the fact remains that there is one really big obvious weak link who manages to find his way to the centre of most of my major content issues with this show, and as much as I would love to NOT waste time talking about Paul, I probably gotta do it.

First things first: this show loves how attractive Paul supposedly is, and it’s bad. Not just because I think he looks like a doorknob, but because of the way the show handles him because it wants us all to see him as ‘the man-candy’. Obviously, the biggest problem that throws up is the dubiously-consensual pointless sex scenes, because maybe-actually-rape-but-we’re-too-busy-being-titillated-to-figure-that-out scenes are super high on the list of Things Which Should Not Happen On My Television Screen. It counts for the scene with Rachel in this season the same as the scenes with Sarah in the first one; if the show were less preoccupied with ‘Big Dick Paul’ being sexually available, we could avoid at least some of this awfulness (no guarantee they’d skip it altogether if Beth Childs had been dating an ‘average’ guy, but more of a chance of that if they hadn’t deliberately cast an ‘Alpha Hottie’ prototype mistake). Now, I hear the chime of ‘but they’re objectifying a man the same way that women are usually objectified! It’s subversive!’, but, no. Assault-adjacent voyeurism isn’t suddenly ok just coz it’s a dude. That’s not how subversion works, but it IS how double-standards that marginalise male victims works! The fact that this show is too busy finding Paul hot to bother evaluating the situations they showcase that within is a problem. The fact that Paul also has no discernible personality and therefore no discernible emotions about those situations is also a problem.

Paul having no personality is a significant part of why he’s an objectively garbage character, but it also plays in to the Bad News about the way the show handles him since they neglect to allow him fallout from his own experiences. What did Paul think about having sex with Rachel? We don’t fucking know. It happens and then he just goes and does some Paul things that Paul does and I’m not sure if he and Rachel even share a scene again? At any rate, him becoming her new handler et al. comes to nothing since he disappears for most of the season soon after, which just makes the whole gross sex thing worse because it really is meaningless, with no plot relevance even in the form of character responses. If Rachel has sex with Paul because she perceives him as something of Sarah’s (ew) and she’s out to get her, well, Sarah doesn’t care and Rachel doesn’t gloat and the whole thing just disappears, so, zero consequence. Things related to Paul’s presence on the show have a tendency to be like that, and that’s why he’s the weak link even when he’s not having questionable sex. The narrative repeatedly tells us that Paul is somehow important and what he does and who he’s allied to matters (remember how we also got that awful problematic visit from Tony the trans clone just so that we could waste an entire episode on the ‘revelation’ that Paul is some kind of black ops ‘ghost’, even though we, like...knew that already?). At least in the first season, Paul’s existence had a purpose because he was Beth’s handler, but once he found out that Sarah was Sarah and Beth was dead and, oh yeah, there’s clones, instead of becoming a stronger character for being in the loop, he got worse. What are Paul’s motivations, actually? What are his moral principles? What matters to him, what drives him, what gets him out of bed in the morning to shave his cereal-box face? I haven’t the faintest fucking idea. He mumbled some things once in an irritating tone of voice that I couldn’t hear properly, something about military history and Afghanistan, but you’ve gotta do better than that for character backstory. His entire existence is not based around that one experience, not least because he had to have had an existence predating the experience which in itself influenced how the Afghanistan thing turned out. Season three does appear poised to Do Something with Paul’s military life, but excuse me if I’m neither excited by that prospect, nor expecting it to suddenly make him have a personality. Honestly, why start now? He’s a meaningless character who just shows up intermittently (he’s only in half the episodes in season two) and has ~mysterious motives~ that conveniently allow him to do whatever the plot has decided he should do today, and then he flits off again, usually without having any lasting impact on the story, making it seem like he’s being written content just because someone decided he Has To Be On The Show, not because they have any place or purpose for him. They seem to care a LOT about making us think he matters, not so much about making him actually matter. 

Paul being meaningless and yet given an inordinate amount of narrative attention whenever he bothers to show up is also INFURIATING because meanwhile, the actual-good characters are getting shafted. What did poor Art Bell get to do this season? Nothing much really, he was just that convenient Other Guy when they wanted to parcel something out his way. Like Paul actually, he got LESS quality story to work with after finding out about the clones, instead of getting more engagement. Most of what Art did this season was babysitting clones, often with Felix, who the show did only a little better at giving plot relevance. It’s a sad damn waste for most of the stronger male presences from the first season - the only one who gets some good stuff to work with this season is Donnie, really. Along with these three, Scott the science nerd, Mark the Prolethian boy-clone, and ye olde Ethan Duncan  complete the illustrious list of Male Characters In More Episodes This Season Than Paul, and yet the plot between them is pretty thinly spread. Of course, on a female-centric show like this, there’s no reason why we should be crying over spilled male character purpose, but when you keep seeing the same faces one episode after the next it starts to mess with the plotting of your show when those faces don’t seem to be there for much of a reason. It’s one of the things that really stood out about the weak season finale: lots of characters in the cast list with nothing to actually add to the plot of the episode, and meanwhile, in waltzes Paul in his stupid uniform as if his return is momentous... 

In waltzes Paul, and he meets Cal, who is in the same number of episodes as him this season as well as sharing a few other traits in common, the overt ‘man-candy’ one being flagged by Siobhan out loud just in case we hadn’t realised Cal is supposed to be hot too. As I said when he first showed his scruffy face, he has got more immediate charm and evidence of a personality of some description than Paul does, and while that’s not high praise it is better than being Paul. But I’m still not sold on Cal and it concerns me that the show is throwing another blando at Sarah, like she can’t just have her plot without also boning Prescription Babes along the way (and no, that’s not cool subversion either, that’s ‘woman needs a man’ cliche even when said woman is fucking surrounded by other strong capable female presences. Wasting time on a pointless male love interest is not subversive, but it DOES detract from time and relationships with other female characters who could fill the role without adding boring sex scenes just coz!). Cal has the makings of a real character, but they gotta at least make an effort, because currently he’s a handful of convenient skills in happy-puppy packaging who just kinda goes along with things in a way-too-passive fashion, just-happening to work out that Sarah is a clone off-screen where we don’t have to deal with the mess of him having a personal reaction to, um, anything. We never had enough time with Cal to establish a personality in which to contextualise the revelation of fatherhood, the forgiveness of the con artist who stole his money, the shock upheaval of his entire life as he knows it, the going on the run, the evil corporation and the clones and the and the and the...it’s a bit much to be not bothering to characterise on. You can’t throw all that out there and tell me that the guy went through the teething process on it in the space of three lines before he went and fell back in bed with Sarah again. Come on.

Usually, when I talk about dudes in these season reviews, I’ll repeat my line about how the way a show handles its male characters is as important to the issue of positive female representation as the handling of the female characters, because even if the female characters kick ass you can still fuck up the content royally through bad male characters being framed as cool heroes alongside them. Failure to include men in your feminism only allows the very problems you’re standing against to perpetuate and fester, because you can’t address a systemic issue without looking at all the angles. Orphan Black looks and smells like a show that should be making strides for progress with its stocked cast of dynamic and empowering female characters of various kinds, but it is hampered by an oversupply of male characters who take up screen time without having anything much to do. Fixing that doesn’t have to mean paying more attention to the men (because honestly, the world at large got to this problem point by doing way too much of that already, that’s why we’re talking), but it does mean working out why your male characters exist in the narrative and whether or not they’re necessary or being used to potential. For this show in particular, Paul really is the weak link, not just as an individual character, not just as a place where plot goes to be rendered inert, but as a centrepiece for a story that is oddly determined to keep a lot of male characters around without trying very hard to have a reason for it. ‘He’s there to be hot’ is not a valid reason, and it IS the same thing we’ve been railing against happening to female characters since the dawn of television, but it’s not a valuable subversion, it isn’t helping anything. The flip side of female characters having to fight to be allowed to have meaningful plot-relevant stories in male-dominant media is not to have male characters being pointless eye candy instead, it’s to have male characters be less dominant and only exist if they have a good reason for it. If they’re still occupying more than their fair share of space, then they’re still a problem.

 ...and thus, I will conclude another Orphan Black season review feeling weird and put-out about this show and my inability to really click with it. Is Paul their weakest link? Yes, fight me. Is Paul being their weakest link a crippling problem for the whole narrative? No, not especially. As noted, it has the potential to kill whole episodes or at least swathes of story that are given over to his meaninglessness for absolutely no sensible reason, like part of the show has to be sacrificed to a vengeful expressionless God otherwise it’ll get cancelled, but when Paul isn’t around - which he often isn’t - the plot is still getting along and doing interesting things that I haven’t seen before. So, why is it still falling kinda flat for me? I have a few more ideas as to why, but we’ll get to that (and then hopefully, we’ll get to me changing my mind about it). Until then...

[thebrierpatch]

THE BAGGAGE

The Old Man, as we affectionately called the oldest monk of the Order, had been invited to deliver a number of lectures on various issues in another monastery, far away from ours, whose brotherhood had precepts quite different from ours. In essence, the differences brought us closer together than further apart. On that occasion, I was the disciple assigned to accompany the monk. They were all dazzled by the Old Man. A composed figure, always with a discrete smile on his face, a gaze that mirrored patience, wise words spoken in a soft voice and, particularly, attitudes that, even in minor gestures, overflowed with purest love. He would say that to be a role model is the most powerful statement one can make, it is the “living truth”. Twice on this trip the monk asked me to open the lecture of the day with brief presentations on the issue he would address, which has yielded me some compliments, more as a reflex of his lectures than merit of my own. However, I was not OK. A student of that monastery in whose room I was sleeping kept pestering me with a hail of criticisms, whether about the brief presentation I had made before the lectures or any other behavior I had he would consider unsuitable. Everything I did was filled with flaws. When the Old Man came to the room to check if I was ready for our trip back, he found me packing the suitcase the way my heart was, in total mess and disarray.

When he asked me what was going on, I told him the reasons for my annoyance. The Old Man asked me to stop packing and go walking with him for a bit. I told him we had to leave, and he said: “We must understand what we carry in our baggage in order to continue the journey.” I said that I was packing only my clothes and personal belongings. The good monk pointed to the suitcase over the bed with his chin and corrected me: “I am not talking about this suitcase.” He placed his hand over his chest and added: “I am talking about the sacred baggage, the one we carry in the heart.”

While we walked around the beautiful garden of that monastery, I told him how the other disciple pestered me. I spoke and spoke until all my complaints were exhausted. The Old Man listened to me with tremendous patience, and then said: “Buddha taught that ‘whenever I allow anger to dwell in me, I will lose the battle.’” He paused briefly to continue: “The fiercest battle is the one we fight inside ourselves. It is illuminating the shadows that dwell within us. They are many, and various. Anger, annoyance and sorrow are just a few of its many species. Social relations bring the allies, those people who help and makes us strong, so that we are able to keep the light that illuminates our steps lit. They also bring the foes, whose mission seems to be nourishing the shadows that are hidden within ourselves. The former are as important as the latter. While allies are unequivocal in their help, the foes act in an implicit way, by hampering. Antagonists operate, on a subconscious level, as hidden masters who teach us, through conflicts, the precise lesson we are ready for.” I interrupted him and said I did not understand what he meant. The Old Man explained: “When you allow your shadow to manifest itself, you become aware not only of its existence, but of how much it hampers and deceives you. But if your mind is alert, you can begin the process of perfecting this feature of your core.”

I told him I still did not understand. The Old Man was more didactic: “It is like a film. The good guy needs the bad one to exercise his abilities. Otherwise, he will live a sluggish life, devoid of charm or interest. Hence, the more sophisticated the villain is, the better the story, as the hero will have to develop powers he is not aware he is capable of, so that he can outdo himself. Do you realize it is the conflict that sets the narrative in motion? In life it is no different. Each one is the hero of their own story and, therefore, the villain of the stories of others because, one way or another, whether or not we are fair, at some point we act against someone’s expectations. In order to play the part, the hero needs the villain to understand how to react facing the hardships that come about. How to react facing adversities? This is what gauges us. Take the opportunity to learn about yourself, smooth the rough edges that cut you and others; give your best and move forward, always seeking the wholesomeness and the plenitude of being.”

I asked him if, indeed, conflict is necessary. The Old Man patiently explained: “We live on a plane of existence where conflicts are still important tools to achieve personal harmony. The greatest proof is the existence of personal shadows. While you believe that frustrations are motivated by the other, there will be conflicts and stagnation. Perceiving the shadows makes you realize the huge and essential work you must do on yourself. In relationships, regardless of type, unpleasant interlocutors have the sacred mission of making the shadows manifest themselves through adversity and setbacks. Thank them for that. This makes it possible to identify and illuminate what must be transmuted within yourself. If you pay attention and are sincere on the journey of self-knowledge, you will come to the conclusion that the adversary is never the other, but yourself. As a guardian of the threshold, he has just shown you, even if in a coarse way, where the fight to overcome the next portal of the Path will be fought.” He pointed to my chest and added: “Inside yourself.”

“Do you understand the importance of each person in your life?”, asked the Old Man. I replied that I saw no value in a lad whose only purpose in life seemed to be harassing me. I said I would like to live in peace with everyone. The monk smiled and said: “Yes! And because you have not yet achieved this you are in this station. Everyone wants to live in peace, but few are ready to take over their own evolutionary responsibility. Most prefer to blame others. Do you understand that his behavior, even though inappropriate, provides valuable lessons?” I confessed I did not see any good thing in all that annoyance. The Old Man arched his lips in a beautiful smile and reasoned: “Can you realize that maybe something in you also bothers the other disciple? It is likely a quality or a gift he admires, but because he is not able yet to manage with humility the virtues he does not command, he allows vanity or envy to be manifested through aggressive attitudes. Or it might be the opposite. He sees in you a problem he also has and, subconsciously, is unable to admit. Therefore, he reacts by harshly criticizing you, so that he can deceive himself by believing he has reached perfection when he has not.” I asked why it had to be like that. The Old Man looked at me with compassion and said: “It is like that with everyone. Since the shadows have the task of disguising the hardships of the ego, they are going to target the features of others, either by coloring their faults with strong colors or placing eventual flaws under powerful magnifying lenses. What bothers this disciple is not Yoskhaz’s mistakes, but his own difficulties, which he is not able to deal with, or evolutionary levels he has yet to reach. Do you see how tricky the shadows are? Under the disguise of protection, they prevent the best gaze. Hence, each one becomes the main victim of their shadows and, worse, without realizing it. Then the villain emerges, trying to wake the hero asleep in each and every one of us. While he does not understand himself, he will not be able to improve. Therefore, one must be very patient with the other and pay heed to oneself.”

“You, in turn, showed how difficult it is for you to handle criticism. This is the second lesson,” added the monk. I immediately rebuked, and said that the criticisms were unfair. The Old Man furrowed his brow and said in a sweet, and yet grave tone: “I did not see you question compliments, when you received them. Would these be adequate? If not all criticisms are fair, not all compliments are deserved. If, on one hand, we cannot allow any criticism to defeat us, and be just an element of reflexion and transformation, on the other wisdom dictates that the honey of compliments does not smear the ego, preventing the next steps towards evolution. Once again I recall Buddha’s teaching of treading on the Middle Path as a point of balance so that one extreme does not eliminate the other, and therefore does not prevent the wholesomeness of being from being achieved.”

I lowered my eyes and said no word. I knew what the monk was talking about, but it was difficult for me to live according to that guidance, and did not allow the lessons to turn into wisdom, as a loaf of bread that rots, forgotten in the window. The Old Man continued: “It is precisely to find inner harmony that we go back to the beginning of this conversation: learning how to pack. What we carry in our baggage defines the way we tread the Path. Lightness is necessary if you want to use your wings. Therefore, the suitcase cannot carry the heavy burden of anger, sorrow, envy, jealousy, insecurity and so many other shadows, or you won’t be able to carry it, so heavy is the weight. The winds of forgiveness, tolerance, respect and love make you soar.” He paused briefly so that I could put my ideas together, and completed: “Nothing or no one can bother us. When that happens, have no doubt, there is something wrong in your baggage. It is time to open and change its contents.”

“Don’t waste time or energy with regrets or attempts to change others. Only fools do that. Always give your best and express your beliefs in a quiet, clear way. Then move on. Each one has their own journey to cover.”

“Plenitude is the sacred art of keeping inner peace above the unavoidable external conflicts. Having allowed the other disciple to shake your peace revealed many flaws that must be improved. Don’t forget to thank him before leaving.” I remained in silence and nodded my head in agreement. Before I could say anything, the Old Man added: “It is time to go, or else we will miss the train. Go get you baggage in your room.” He blinked his eye in a roguish way and asked: “Do you know what you will pack to take home?”

Kindly translated by Carlos André Oighenstein.

Other texts by the author at www.yoskhaz.com/en/

[the-record-columns]

Sept. 20, 2017: Columns

When I delivered groceries...

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

A few years ago I got a call from Kay Ball, informing me that she and her sister, Brenda, had sold the old Thrift Super Market building on the corner of Fourth Street and C streets in North Wilkesboro.

               As I have often written in this space, I got a job there in the early 60's, bagging groceries and doing odd jobs. The store was operated by the girls' parents, H.D., and Ann Ball - an interesting couple to say the least.

               A few years ago, when Ann died, I was honored to speak at her funeral and I took that opportunity to remind those gathered, who knew them best, of Mr. Ball's proclivity for being, to say the least, a bit conservative with his money. Ann, on the other hand, had a heart as big as all outdoors and would as soon give things away as would to sell them - most especially to someone in need.

               When I went to the store to see Kay that day, it was sad to see the building in such disrepair, but it still brought back a gazillion memories. I met folks there as a teenager I was able to stay in touch with for the rest of their lives. In fact, with the recent passing of Blair Gwyn, I think his widow, Florence, is the last remaining of the neighborhood customers I came to know and care about.

               Among the things Kay and Brenda had saved for me that day was the cart I used to push groceries out to cars in the parking lot as well as use for deliveries to shut-in neighbors. They only had two of them, bought when the store was first built in the mid-50's, and I now have one of them as yet another prize possession here at The Record.

               It was the people living in the neighborhood that I saw most often and came to know and enjoy best. Mary Moore Hix lived up on D Street and was clearly one of my favorites. "Sis" to most who knew her, and Mrs. Hix to me, was always in good spirits and on the go. The year I was to graduate from high school, Mrs. Hix took me aside at the Thrift one day and told me to "…be sure and send a graduation invitation to all these old ladies who shop here, and it will be the best investment you've ever made."

               I did, and it was.

               Two blocks away on C Street was the office of Dr. E. S. Cooper, who was one of the very first chiropractors to move to Wilkes County. Dr. and Mrs. Cooper were regulars at the store, and I especially remember them both as having beautiful white hair, and being very quiet and easy going. Across C Street from the Coopers was Mr. Rob Parker, as noisy as the Coopers were quiet. Mr. Parker knew that my father was a Baptist preacher and he would try to get my goat by coming into the store singing aloud, "The preacher in the pulpit, preaching mighty bold. Preaching for the money, caring nothing for the soul." Mr. Parker had a woodworking shop behind his house, and he would sometimes let me run the lathe. He made a small table that I bought for my mother for Christmas one year, and it was a prized possession of hers for the rest of her life.

               I would push that grocery cart as far Emma Day's house on D  Street across from the First Baptist Church, and it was a delivery to Mrs. Day that I will never forget. She was planning on making kraut and had ordered a bunch of cabbage from Mr. Ball. That cart would hold eight full grocery bags, and this day it was full of nothing but cabbage. It was heavy. It was hot. I was scrawny, and by the time I got to Mrs. Day's house I was soaked in sweat. I then had to carry all eight bags of cabbage back into her kitchen and presented her the bill.

               Mrs. Day pulled a head of cabbage out of one of the bags and immediately stated, "This will not do."

               She then pulled out a knife that could very well have come out of a slasher movie and begin to chop the bottom leaves off head after head of cabbage. When finished, she instructed me to have Mr. Ball weigh the cabbage she was returning and bring her and updated bill.

               Mr. Ball may have been close with his money, but he met his match in Emma Day.

               One of my regulars was Bessie Johnson. Bessie lived on the corner of Fifth and C Streets in an old house Claude and Madge Canter had converted into apartments. Bessie Johnson lived upstairs, but how she ever got up there is still a matter of some question. Her false teeth were loose and rattled together as she spoke, and she had more ailments than anyone I had ever known. If she told me once, she told me a hundred times as I puffed up those steps with bags of groceries, "Kenny, I sure do appreciate you bringing those things home for me, because it would surely kill me to go up and down those steps another time."

               But, by far, my favorite delivery was when I got to take a load of groceries to the home of Miss Katie Whittington on Main Street, or B Street as it was known then. In addition to being a downhill run when fully loaded, and an empty run on the return, going to Miss Katie's house was like a trip to Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Along with her daughter, Laura Belle, Miss Katie Whittington had a well-deserved reputation for cakes, pies, pastries and wonderful good nature. Whenever I would go to their house, I was guaranteed a sweet treat of some description. I noted with great sadness that Miss Katie's home fell victim to a

 wrecking ball, and is now just a grassy lot.

               It was a different time, a slower time. A time when every child knew every neighbor and those neighbors made you feel welcome in their home. A time when a 15-year-old kid delivering a cart full of groceries knew he could go in the back door without even knocking.

               I miss those days.

  What you don't transform you will transmit….

By LAURA WELBORN

Matthew 18:21  When Peter asked Jesus how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? As many as seven times?  Jesus said to him, "not seven times but seventy-seven times."

               Its scary to think that it takes 77 times to be able to let go of the hurt, not respond to the pain or act out destructively.  Our heart is the center of our will and where our intention lives, which is where we start with our heart and intentionally begin the process of reconciliation.   As everyone knows it is never easy and the hard part is the part of letting go of the hurt.  If we go back to the saying what you don't transform you will transmit, then by not letting go and doing something with the hurt we will hurt, others through our own pain.  

               Forgiveness is not a weapon to be used against someone but a road to our own redemption.  In the book "Forgiveness" Desmond Tutu talks about a 4 fold path to forgiveness. The first step is in the telling of the story.  I think it is important not to get lost in this step because sometimes telling the story reinforces our hurt and minimizes our part in the hurt.  Therefore openness and a willingness to take responsibility of our role in the hurt is critical.  Acknowledging our actions is the key to when we can transform a situation/hurt into a greater good.  

               The next step is naming the hurt, and this is when the introspection of what the ultimate harm is.  I think this is one of the hardest steps because often what I am reacting to is superficial and what hurt the most is what I bury.  It means looking at myself and acknowledging my vulnerabilities to be able to name what hurt the most.  In other words it means looking beyond what we initially present as the problem.

               Being ready to forgive is one thing, but to let it go is quite another issue. So often people will say I can forgive, but I can't forget.   Forgetting to me means letting it go so I can forget.  Now the lesson is what I hope to hold on to, but how that lesson happened I hope I can forget.  It is important in this step to look at your resources, who in your life can help you move beyond the hurt?  Who can help you feel loved when you are in pain so you can move beyond it? Accessing our resources does mean exposure but it is having a safe place to land and finding someone who helps us not crash and burn in our landing from the hurt.

               The last step is to renew/release the relationship.  This means you can step back and release the relationship with someone without holding resentment and bitterness and choose not to renew the relationship.  

               If we look at the community resiliency model it essentially takes us to a place where we can use our "protective factors" to reduce the risk of harm.  Protective Factors are essentially our support system- who we let into our lives in a meaningful way, our ability to cope and manage uncomfortable situations in a meaningful way.  Another protective factor is our own sense of purpose and how we live within our own values. Self Esteem is ultimately if we believe we can overcome our challenges, flaws and mistakes which leads to healthy thinking.  Healthy thinking becomes a protective factor when we do not stay stuck on our mistakes but are able to recognize our personal strengths and weaknesses rationally.

               Often I think if I have to forgive someone 77 times, I might as well just forget it (the hurt), or maybe I will just figure its not worth the effort to get upset.  

  It’s in the Bible, look it up… HEATHER DEAN REPORTER/PHOTOJOURNALIST

           Rev. James Martin is an American Jesuit priest, a writer, and editor-at-large of the Jesuit magazine America residing in Manhattan, and known for his outspokenness for accepting all of god's children, especially the outcast. He has made the news recently with the release of his  new book entitled "Building a Bridge", in which urges the Roman Catholic Church to find a common ground with LGBT Catholics who feel estranged from the church because of social and religious stigma and hopefully create dialogue. The subject would ruffle some feathers he knew, but so did the son of god. Never mind that his Jesuit superior read the manuscript and all was found to be in line with church teachings and was even endorsed by several cardinals. Yet, despite the fact that many parents and friends of the LGBT community appreciating the brave move, and encouraged by Rev. Martin's accepting words, the backlash came. It came in the form of insults, hateful rhetoric, people of his own faith labeling him a heretic, and even death threats.

           People of his own faith. Christians.

           So here's the thing:

I grew up Christian, believing in the teachings Christ, learning to turn the other cheek, hoping to become a martyr for God, and to above all, show love and compassion. In the end, I was betrayed by hypocrisy and misogyny from those I trusted most. And yet, I hold nothing against the Christian religion or against their version of God in general.

           Why? Because Jesus said not to be a jerk and that's what I try to live by. (It's in the Bible, look it up...)

           He also said to love

 your enemies. (Luke 6:27-36)

           He also said that in the least you do this to others you do it to me. (Matt. 25:40)

           The good book also says that the Old Testament Laws (over 600 of them) are now void because Jesus paved the path of faith with love, and to obey the Christ, was the New Testament Law. (Gal. chapters 3-6)

           So I have never understood how "the good Christian" can be so judgmental and unkind, claiming it to be a part of protecting their religion.

           Jesus never said you were going to like what

 happened in the world. He laid the groundwork of how to deal with it, and he said not to let it get to you, because GOD was the end-all-be-all when it came down to judging and deciding he would make it into the kingdom of heaven. (James 4:12)

           So why all the hate and angst with the gay, black, immigrant and Wiccan community, or anyone who does not hold true to your version of theology? Jesus was chastised for hanging out with the "rogues and scoundrels" if you recall.

           Sidebar: Those of you who believe that Jesus is coming back, how exactly do you expect him to look? What if he comes back as a Middle Eastern man in a turban again?  What if he chooses to be a woman, a person of color, or even a hobo?

 The reason I love that the good Reverend has written such a book, is because it's objective. You can take the LGBT out of the conversation, and insert race, alternate religion, gender etc., and the same question begs to be asked: Are you being Christ like?

 "If we can't even begin a dialogue without a charge of heresy, then we need to take a good look at how we understand the gospel." -Reverend Martin.

 Love, no matter what.

It's in the Bible, look it up.

   Another hidden agenda . . . very real and very dangerous

EARL COX

Special to The Record

           On the road to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization's brave new world economy, democratic educational systems are speed bumps. To remove these obstacles, UNESCO has devised a compulsory global education scheme that exploits and politicizes how and what the next generation will learn-thus molding compliant "global citizens."

           UNESCO's Constitution describes one of its primary roles as spreading knowledge to the world, and giving a "fresh impulse to education." But there's a sting-UNESCO's state-controlled, global education plan is subservient to its overarching aim for world monetary control-the New International Economic Order or NIEO.

           The NIEO "sacrifices education" to redistributing developed, industrial nations' wealth and resources

 to underdeveloped nations, said former policy advisor Thomas G. Gulick.  The new monetary system is a planned, socialist world economy under the jurisdiction of a U.N. economic "superagency." U.S. and Western industrial nations would finance this "global welfare state." In short, Gulick said, "NIEO appears to be UNESCO's hidden agenda."

           Education to sustain the NIEO  

           This agenda has been long in the making. In the '70s, Director General Amadou-Mahtar M'Bow targeted UNESCO's education and social science sectors as the "main focus" to achieve the NIEO. Thus, politicization gradually permeated all UNESCO sectors, Gulick said.

           The NEIO was established in 1974 by a U.N. General Assembly resolution. Though updated in 2011, "not very much" changed, said professors Vinod Aggarwal and Steve Weber for the Harvard Business Review; "NIEO demands … are almost exactly the same as Supachai Panitchpakdi, head of UNCTAD, [called] for" in 2012-a global financial system to benefit the poor.

  The prickly issue of

sovereignty

           The NIEO rejects all sovereignty but its own. Presenting the "roadmap for global education" in 2015, Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon and UNESCO Director General Irina Bokova said: "We…entrust UNESCO …to lead … the Education agenda ….to reach our ambitious goal by 2030." Within this framework, "globalized schools worldwide must reshape children's values to create "global citizens."

           The UN 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development describes children and youth as "critical agents of change" to implement "the new global order."  To this end, teacher trainees study NIEO, human rights, and situational-ethics lessons plans; the latter asserts decisions should be based on circumstances, not fixed principles. It rejects absolute moral principles such as G-d, or good and evil- ruling out most precepts of Judaism and Christianity.

Indoctrinating Young Minds: Scientific Humanism

           Starting in the early '70s, UNESCO books and publications explored the idea

of a new educational order

 based on scientific humanism.

This view rejects all religious

beliefs in a divine person or creed; it was slammed as "the breeding ground of intolerance," by educational psychologist W. D. Wall.  

           In brief, UNESCO educational literature advises parents not to teach their children religious moral principles, which Wall labels "moral indoctrination." This goes hand in hand with UN advocacy of mandatory sex education for children, beginning in pre-kindergarten.

Eroding moral foundations

           According to a previous Fox News report, the UN recommends that children 5 to 8 be taught about gender violence and self-touch satisfaction. By 9, they'll learn about aphrodisiacs, homophobia, transphobia and abuse of power; at 12, contraception, and by age 15, "safe" abortions. Thus, the state usurps parents' rights to teach their children about moral choices and sex.

'Dry rot in academia'

           What's happening on U.S. campuses is a microcosm of UNESCO's threat facing the world. Economist Thomas Sowell sounded the alarm on "the intellectual and moral dry rot" that spreads wherever "the groupthink of

 the left substitutes for education."

           Exposing students to different viewpoints was once thought a valuable part of education; "but that was before academia - and the education system - became a monopoly of the political left," he said. Regardless of whose views become a monopoly, education-and our children-suffer. Reducing Western democracies' support to an organization committed to the destruction of their economies and education is surely part of the remedy.

  A rainy day at the Barber Shop and Peggy the witch

BY CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

I enjoy my visits to the barber shop for a variety of reasons. The more practical reason is to get a good haircut, but if you limit your experience to the utilitarian purpose of walking away with shorter hair one will surely miss out on a treasure trove of cultural edification awaiting. In other words, hold on to your hat, things may just get a little hairy.

It was on the raining morning that I returned to the Second Street Barber shop in North Wilkesboro, NC a two-seat shop where Gary and his son Josh Beshears spend their days keeping many of the citizens of their community neat and tight.  

News coverage of the rage of hurricane IRMA was on the TV and both barber seats were busy when I arrived. The barber shop is the perfect place for a story teller to hang out and for those who prefer to listen it’s hard to find a better show. Barbershop storytelling is judged more so on delivery rather than verifiable facts. While a good tall tale is welcome and celebrated the more weighted issues of life are also part of conversation.

One customer was sharing the story of a recent heart problem that has changed his life. We all celebrated with him in that his only real vice to battle is a half-gallon of ice-cream every night.  This real-life issue was talked about, but before long things shifted to the story of barber Josh as a young boy in school, when he wrote a story about Peggy the witch that lived in a shack on the side the mountain

As the story goes Gary takes young Josh on an adventure to the Big Ivy area which is near the Wilkes and Ashe County line to learn about the legend of Peggy the witch who apparently once lived in the region in the late 1800’s and possessed the ability to do many things including shape shifting in the form of various animals.

At a certain point in the trip Gary spots his pickup near Phillip’s Gap and yells out the window “Peggy,” and as if on cue a deer walks out of the woods and stands in the road in front of them and stairs at Gary and Josh, but did not come close to them and then walked away. Gary drives on, however Josh wants to see if it will happen again.

At first Gary did not want to call out again, Josh was persistent so Gary stopped again and yelled out Peggy. Once again, as if on cue, a Groundhog appeared in the road in front of them, stared at them and then walked away. This happened again with a rabbit. It was at this time, they decided not to call for Peggy again.  

Josh and Gary both told me that this was a true story regarding the animals. Josh wrote the story down with more history about Peggy. The story of the animals and other stories of fear and dread that Peggy stirred in other locals was published in the book, Hometown Memories, Blue Ridge Tales, published 1996 page 64-65.

The good thing about waiting for the barber’s chair is that you get to hear all the great stories and you know it will soon be your turn for an old fashion hair cut including warm shaving cream on your neck with a straight razor perfect line. You also have a chance to share your tale of the day and if you need it, you’ve got a few pals who will listen when you need it most.

When done, my seat was filled by a NC Army Guardsman, he required a simple shave, but at the Second Street Barber Shop a quick visit is not really an option. The stories take too long and who would want to rush something so important.

When folk artist Charlie Frye heard this story, he was inspired to create a painting to accompany this column. Thanks Charlie!

Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its eighth year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at 12:00 noon. For more on the show, visit  www.lifeinthecarolinas.com, You can email Carl White at Carl@lifeinthecarolinas.com.    

Copyright 2017 Carl White