#and there's instead dedicated areas where public smoking is allowed so people can still smoke if they so choose

[scorittanius]

this probably sounds fuckin stupid but the amount of people i've seen recently arguing that they should get to smoke [weed in particular] everywhere and everywhere and that anyone who disagrees is some weird puritan pisses me the fuck off

like, guys. i get being frustrated about weed not being legal / some people having genuinely stupid opinions about it. however i also think that... yknow... no-smoking areas should still exist? especially in enclosed spaces like busses and trains? because being in public is a two-way transaction and you still have to be considerate of other people, contrary to popular tumblr belief? with smoking in particular since second-hand smoke exists and actively harms people, especially the millions of people with the thousands of health issues that are directly and severely affected by smoke exposure?

i genuinely don't care if you use weed, it's cool i guess and should be legal regardless both because fuck the cops, you can do whatever you want with your body forever and having the safe routes to both using and quitting legallisation provides is incredibly important! however i'd like to continue being able to do things like 'breathe' and 'not get severe thyroid flareups or damage my already quite severely secondhand smoke damaged lungs even further' whenever i leave the house, please?

[saphirered]

Can We Go Yet

Here it is; another instalment  in the Eldritch Knight series and because I can’t keep to a word count it seems there’ll be another part. Enjoy 😘.

-

Essek swings his heavy cloak over his shoulders, connecting the clasp keeping it in place and rolls his eyes. He knew it was a bad idea letting his brother stay with him during his time in Rosohna instead of just dooming Verin to stay with their mother but when Verin showed up on his doorstep a week before he was expected claiming he had some extra days off and couldn’t do anything but dedicate them to some good old sibling bonding. Verin had showed up the night after he’d ask you out and the next day, today he’d be taking you out on your date. 

“Come on, brother. Let’s go out for some drinks, cause some mischief. Someone has to breathe some life into the Firmaments.” Verin clasps a hand over Essek’s shoulder interposing himself between Essek and his path to the door with a grin that said enough about the problems he intended to cause.

“I have other obligations for the day. Besides, you are perfectly capable of pushing the Firmaments into chaos by yourself. I would not wish to get in your way.” Essek tries to brush his brother off and manages to get around the taller drow, the door opening with a wave of his hand, letting the subtile hint show that he will not hesitate to make a fool of his brother in public should he try to stop Essek. 

“You and your obligations.” Verin rolls his eyes. “I could simply join-“ 

“No!” Essek may have spoken a bit quicker and intensely than he intended and he knew for sure he had when he sees the gleam in Verin’s eyes. It takes one to know one and that’s the look of a challenged Thelyss. 

“As you are so adamant. Fine. I will behave and I won’t stop you from going wherever you are.” Verin shrugs and Essek doesn’t know wether to be relieved his brother didn’t push further or scared because one thing’s for sure; he’s suspicious. Nevertheless, expression neutral and proper he bids his brother goodbye and leaves. Despite not being a devout follower of anything but his own practices he finds himself sending prayers to who or whatever is watching to be merciful and keep his brother’s antics from ruining today. Any day but today. 

Verin watches Essek depart staring him down before he closes the door. Quick as he is he rushes to a window looking around the corner and sees just the tiniest bit of his brother’s facade slip. Essek is relieved. He really shouldn’t be. Verin wouldn’t be a good and loving brother would he not cause his brother a generous level of embarrassment and trouble on his first day back home. From the top of the tower he sees Essek leave and once he’s sure Essek won’t be as alert he takes to snooping around his study. The usual arcane stuff, some paperwork from the Bastion and some notes, no a list. What are you planning Essek? He takes the list and accompanying notes and takes off to follow where Essek went.

The road leads him to a two-story mansion, a tree of green leaves growing out of the tower. Verin doesn’t think he’s ever seen a green tree in Rosohna. Ever. So it doesn’t come as a surprise that whoever would put such an ostentatious beacon on their roof would be affiliated with Essek. He does not, however see why Essek would willingly affiliate himself with them as he prefers not to draw attention. He watches as Essek knocks on the door. In a matter of seconds the door is opened, bell ringing, by a blue tiefling it seems who pulls him inside by the arm with a force and determination he hadn’t expected. The door is slammed closed behind them. Deeming it safe and trusting his skills Verin trails closer and finds a vantage point to spy on whoever these people are and begins to plot and plan what mischief he’ll cause. 

“Essek, Essek, Essek!” Jester bounces with excitement as the door slams closed behind him. The tiefling pulls him into the common area where Beau’s lounging on a couch giving him a nod of acknowledgement. Caleb’s seated in a chair bend over the table scribbling notes, undoubtedly amidst transcribing a new spell. The wizard gives him a look of pity at the tiefling hugging his arm and blabbering on about what fun he’s gonna have and how much you’re gonna like everything he does and how romantic he is for taking you on a date and giving him tips on how to be even more romantic until Fjord takes mercy upon him and pries the girl away from him allowing him some space to compose himself. 

Essek takes off his cloak revealing the clothes better suited for warmer weather when Yasha offers to take it while he waits for you. Gratefully he hands it to the woman who unceremoniously tosses it over the back of a chair, giving Beau a stern look who was on the brink of making some kind of remark. Jester is getting inpatient and rushes to the bottom of the stairs. 

“Are you done yet?!” She shouts up and half of the Nein wince at the sheer volume. The longer he waits the more nervous he gets and the more difficult it becomes to repress that feeling but he’ll wait patiently still. 

“Beauty takes time, dear Jester.” Your voice sounds from upstairs and the fine sound of your light steps hitting the floor approaching the stairs reach his ears. Jester getting the first view from her position gasps, fanning herself and this must have been the first time he’s seen the girl at los of words. 

And then you come into his view, little by little as you walk down the steps. Essek has trouble putting words to the vision as he much like Jester has lost all ability to speak in that moment. Divine. You look absolutely divine. The fine light fabrics fit in all the right places creating an elegant and complimenting silhouette while still being practical in its cut to allow you complete freedom of movement and not get in the way should a fight ever break out. He couldn’t see them but knows you wouldn’t go without some kind of weapon on your person but has no doubt a dagger or two and some throwing knives are hidden between the folds of the garment. Your hair is elegantly styled in the same practical way you usually have it but small flowers have been pinned and weaved in to bring even more to the ethereal vision you already are and when you look at him, eyes bright and a smile to match, he feels himself unable to breathe. 

Caduceus follows behind you, giving you a chance to walk down to Essek while he quickly clears the mess left in the wake of his work. He had claimed he used to do this with his siblings, finding new and creative ways to add flowers to their hair and weave them in by braiding and twisting, tying and simply pinning them in. It had brought him comfort he said, and with the knowledge of your date night he’d offered so you accepted happily. Your feet hit the ground floor and you look at the others, a quick inspection of the room to see they hadn’t been torturing Essek or hounding him for the details of your date you wait for Caduceus to join the others. 

“Thank you, Cad.” You give the firbolg a quick side hug as he passes to sit down next to Beau. He’s about to ruffle your hair but quickly decides against it as to not ruin his good work. You walk over to Essek with a smile, the space between you a little closer than he’d have allowed with the others and while normally you’d reach out for his hand you refrain because of the company. Essek notices your eyes fall to his hand and to your surprise he entwines your fingers with his, squeezing softly. Your smile brightens and his matches as you forget about the audience for just a moment.

“How do I look?” You flounce out the fabric letting gravity have its way with the feather light material taking half a step back to allow Essek better view of you. 

“Radiant. Like a divine being.” Essek breathes. Words have a difficult time formulating but he collects himself and veers away from the complete mind blank you’ve caused him. Not that he’s mad about it. It’s rather the opposite. It’s not even about the way you look, even though you had truly outdone yourself, he’d still thought you the most gorgeous person in the world in rags or sweaty training clothes. It’s about the confidence you radiate, the warmth like an embrace and the affection in your eyes. 

“Oh, such a shame. I thought you didn’t affiliate yourself with deities.” You jest with a chuckle as you step back to where you stood before. Beau makes a gagging sound and you send her a death glare over your shoulder that shuts her up and has Yasha cover the monk’s mouth with her hand to prevent any retaliation to leave her lips. 

“I better start now, then.” Essek whispers when you face him once more. He whispered for Beau’s sake and maybe even more so to stop Jester from gushing, the girl having already taken out her sketchbook and writing down everything you say and do for some reason. Then, you’re interrupted by the door to the study slamming open, Nott stepping out, a cloud of smoke dissipating from the room behind her and the smell that accompanies it just absolutely terrible that you reach up to cover your nose and subconsciously take another step closer into Essek’s side as if he can keep it at bay. 

“Momma’s got a little gift for you two before you depart.” She proudly holds up two vials of some kind of brown-is dark green liquid sloshing about and it seems that these, more likely the crafting of the contents within are definitely the cause of this smell. 

“What the hell is that?” You speak, slightly muffled trying to hold back the urge to gag. Even Essek is struggling at this point with the woman stepping closer and closer, doused in this rancid acidic chemical scent. 

“I’m glad you ask!” A gleam in her eye makes you not so glad. “These babies are some proper rhino sex potions. Or they should be and you two can test them out on your little date. Make momma proud.” The goblin grins widely teeth exposed. You watch a blush creep up Essek’s cheeks as Nott in uncertain terms explains exactly what it does and how it’s supposed to work. She also mentions they’re untested but it should be fine. Perfectly safe. Maybe Essek would have preferred just dealing with his brother instead of listening exactly how these rhino sex potions should affect the drinker. 

“You don’t bone on the first date, Nott!” Jester exclaims as if she knows best and Nott’s attention falls away from you and Essek turning to the tiefling instead. 

“We’re adventurers, Jessie! We do things a little differently.” Nott defends. 

“I mean, no. But yes, I’ve had sex on plenty of first dates.” Beau perks up siding with Nott if only to torture Essek further because she’s definitely loving the response she’s getting out of him, even though you’re comforting the man throughout it all. The argument continues, the rest of the Nein also getting into the mix of wether or not you should have sex on the first date weighing in all sorts of variables of your specific situation. 

“Let’s go while they’re bickering if you want to make it out alive.” You mutter under your breath, just loud enough to hear and Essek catches on looking between you and the Mighty Nein as you keep your eyes on them pretending you didn’t do or say anything. He decides to take your word for it and doesn’t even bother contemplating the consequences of not saying goodbye to them instead speaking the words to the spell and you’re whisked off to another place far far away from the Xhorhaus and eternal night of Rosohna. 

“Wait. Where did they go?” Yasha asks noticing the drow and their friend gone. The argument falls silent and eyes turn to the space where the two of you had been standing mere seconds before. 

“They left when you started talking about wether or not their prior outings counted and if they’ve ever slept together afterwards when they had some privacy.” Caleb doesn’t look up from his work and keeps transcribing. When he doesn’t indulge them in the continuation of their argument and it eventually ends he’s on the verge of finishing up his new spell. 

“You spoke with Essek yesterday before he left. Spill the beans Widogast.” Beau all but threatens. There’s a clearing of the throat midway up the stairs and while they first expected it to possibly be Dairon but the sound was too heavy and pitch different. 

“I think I can help with that.” A drow sharing a striking resemblance to Essek although more muscular and taller holds out some papers. The Nein is on guard immediately ready to attack. 

“I think we can be of use to each other.” Still wary it quickly becomes clear they do have a mutual goal and with the Nein’s ability to get into someone else’s business they had it covered. It took them exactly half a second to figure out what the list was; places in Nicodranas. Jester was already gushing on about them and ranking them in order of how romantic they could be. 

Essek had taken you to Nicodranas and it just so happens that the Mighty Nein has a friend with a teleportation circle there. Caleb can spare the spell slot so how couldn’t they go for a night exploring the city, say hi to Jester’s mom and Yeza and Luc and better get to know their new friend Verin. It would be their down time while you and Essek went on a date. Or at least that’s their excuse because it’s pretty clear they just need to spy and snoop. 

[vs-redemption]

What about a Keigo x female reader where she’s a pro-hero. But she cant help but compare to her boyfriend cause he’s so amazing as a hero (and #2 for crying out loud). Once Keigo finds out it’s just cuddles and reassurance? (Lowkey might be self-reflecting. I just need serotonin)

a/n: No need to feel bad about self-reflecting anon, I got to indulge in my love for Hawks while writing this too. I really hope it turned out the way you hoped!

A Great Hero (Hawks x Female!ProHero!Reader)

“What a day,” you mumble to the EMT who was checking you over for any serious injuries. You were currently sitting in the back of an ambulance as police officers, fire fighters, and other pro heroes secured the area. You knew you were absolutely fine, but it was protocol for pro heroes to get looked at by a medical professional after any serious incident.

The serious incident in this case was a grease fire that had grown out of control in a small family restaurant in a district you’d just so happened to be patrolling. Most of the staff and customers that had been inside had made it out by the time you’d arrived, except for a young father and his baby daughter who’d gotten trapped in the bathroom located behind the kitchen. Your quirk couldn’t help much against the fire, but as a search and rescue hero you’d made sure to design a tough hero costume that could endure extreme conditions to a certain extent. Without a second thought you’d rushed into the burning building and retrieved the civilians trapped inside.

“Everything looks to be just fine,” the EMT finally finishes his checklist by signing the slip at the bottom and handing you the paperwork. “You might have a cough for a few days, but I think your mask protected you from most of the smoke.”

“Thanks,” you say appreciatively before heading back to your agency to change and fill out an incident report. It didn’t take too long, so after getting a few pats on the back from your fellow heroes you headed home to get some rest.

Once you’re cozy on the couch, you flip on your television to see if there was anything on the news about the fire or the people you’d saved. The father and daughter had been taken to a hospital pretty quickly, and you hoped you’d been able to get them out of the fire before too much damage had been done. There wasn’t any coverage of your rescue though. Instead, all the news stations were in a frenzy over a villain attack that had occurred in the city earlier in the day. The man responsible for swooping in and eliminating the threat had been none other than your boyfriend, Keigo Takami, also known as the winged hero Hawks. He ranked number two in the entire country and it was easy to see why as you watched the recorded video of his fight. A newscaster on the side of the screen reported that there had been a bit of property damage, but thankfully no civilian injuries or casualties. The screen then cut to a different reporter who had interviewed Hawks right after he’d successfully apprehended the villain.

The video was from a few hours ago, but you were relieved to see that he looked completely unharmed as he dazzled the interviewer with his handsome smile and charismatic personality. There was a crowd of fans behind him shouting words of love and encouragement as well. He really was an amazing hero. His quirk, fierce wings, was so versatile and allowed him to adapt to all sorts of different situations. He had speed, mobility, stealth, and unbelievable multitasking ability thanks to the telepathic control he had over each feather that made up his beautiful red wings. It was no wonder the media chose to give him its full attention. His magnificence didn’t end with his quirk either. He was also one of the most dedicated and selfless heroes you’d ever met. Even though he was basically a celebrity at this point, you knew his only concern was saving lives and keeping bad people off the streets. The fame meant nothing to him, making him all the more appealing.

It was an honor to be Keigo’s girlfriend, but living in his shadow did get to you sometimes. On days like today, you wished your quirk was more flashy and exciting like his. You weren’t the type of person who needed to be in the spotlight all the time, but it would be nice for people to notice once in a while that, even if you hadn’t had an action packed battle with a scary villain, you’d still put your life on the line when you’d gone into that burning building. Being out with Keigo in public often led to awkward situations for you as well. People would recognize him instantly and ask for autographs and photos without giving you a second glance. You were happy for him and his success, but you couldn’t help the little voice in your head that expressed doubt over your worth as a hero when you compared yourself to him. A knock on your door pulls you from your musings, and you know it’s your boyfriend just by the pattern of his knocking and the sound of rustling feathers.

“Come in!” you call out to him. You get off the couch to greet him even though he had his own key so he could let himself in. He walks in with a bag full of take-out which you take from him so he can shrug out of his jacket.

“Hey, I didn’t know you…” Your sentence is cut off abruptly when your boyfriend cups your face in his hands and plants a tender kiss on your mouth.

“You’re amazing,” he says with a huge grin. You look into his golden eyes, your confusion making you speechless.

“What?” You let out a small laugh, not understanding where all this was suddenly coming from.

“You know I get notifications on my phone whenever your hero name is mentioned. I heard about the fire today,” he explains while taking you hand into his and pulling you back into your living room. “You’re okay though, right?” he asks while taking the food out of your hands and setting it on the coffee table. “Let me look at you.”

“Keigo,” another laugh slips from your lips as he starts running his hands up and down your arms, examining you for nonexistent injuries. “I’m fine. I have a doctor’s note and everything.”

“Hmm,” he hums while pulling you into a hug and nuzzling his face into your shoulder, the facial hair on his chin tickling your neck. “I have to make sure though, you know?” He finally lets you go and turns to the food he’d brought over, “you hungry?”

“Yeah,” you reach for the bag, curious about what was inside since it smelled so delicious, but Keigo stops you.

“Nope,” he smiles while pointing to the couch. “You just rest.” He sends a bunch of his feathers towards your kitchen and they come back with plates, napkins, and utensils. He waits until you plop down on the couch before digging into the containers which had food from your favorite restaurant inside. Your heart swelled as you watched him make a plate for both of you. He was always so thoughtful.

“What about you though? Are you okay?” You ask as he hands you your plate, “I saw that fight you had today.” Keigo waves off your concern as he sits down next to you and pulls a blanket over the both of you.

“Yeah, I took down a bad guy,” he admits as he snuggles closer to you and plants a kiss on your cheek. “But you saved two innocent lives! Babe, that’s incredible!” He gives you a second kiss before sending a feather to retrieve the remote. “What should we watch?”

“You can pick,” you tell him, feeling overwhelmed by the praise and affection. All your doubts from before seemed silly now. If someone as amazing as your boyfriend thought you were a great hero, what other affirmation did you need? You really were lucky to have such a loving and supportive partner. You snuggle up closer to him and start digging into your food.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Yo did u make that post about your 9th grade science class

oh my God I was talking about it with my friend last night and now I’m losing my mind about it all over again sdkjhdfskh

so the school I went to for 9th grade was a Catholic high school, and it was one with like a GREAT reputation. Like, all the Catholic high schools in my area were ‘good schools’ but this was the like the Big One. Always had the best grades, happiest students, best sports teams, best plays, always did the most outreach with the elementary schools, like it was a very popular school. 

But then,

The summer before I started, the city shut down like...a fucking hundred Catholic schools, because no one wants to fund education I guess? And if your parents send you to Catholic school, they usually want you to stay there no matter what. So instead of all these students going to public school...a ton of them were forcibly transferred to this school (in the suburbs). Everyone was pissed- the city kids were mad because they had no attachment to this place and the commute was annoying. The teachers that transferred with them were pissed off about the whole affair. The teachers that previously worked in this school and didn’t lose their jobs to new teachers were stressed and had no way of controlling the overcrowded classrooms. Tuition went THROUGH THE ROOF. And their was a lot of tension between the city kids and the suburb kids for...literally no reason at all tbh, it was just There so all the classes were insane.

But my science class. Took insane to new levels. 

So, I need to preface this with the type of student I was: I liked science, I thought it was interesting, but science did not like me, and thought I was a bitch. No matter what I tried I was always just scrapping by in the class- but. I always dedicated myself to being the nice, quiet girl who sits in the front, because then the teachers like you, and whether you’re actually a good student or not they’ll give you allowances. 12th Grade gov class, I literally handed in my requirement-for-graduation research paper in a week and a half late and still got a hundred on it, because when the teacher asked me where it was I told her ‘I handed it in on the due date?’ and she immediately was like ‘Oh my God, you did? I’m so sorry!’, then gave me a day to get a ‘’‘new’’’ copy to her, and she felt so bad she gave me extra credit. Like, genuinely, I was determined to play this part and it paid off lmao. 

So for 9th grade I was obviously doing that, but compared to everyone else going crazy, I looked like a literal saint. The teachers in this school weren’t authorized to give detention- we had a school ‘Disciplinarian’, and basically you had to go to his office for him to tell you you have detention, it was weird, but if an entire class was acting up, each room had a call button so he could be summoned to the room to give the full class detention. But all 3 of my science teachers that year, instead of pressing the button, would send me down to his office to bring him back up to the classroom personally, so he would know that everyone EXCEPT me was getting detention. Like, every time one left they literally left in their notes for the new teacher ‘send Molly to get Mr. Chia if the class gets too bad’ it was so fucking funny. 

We went through 3 teachers that year. 

The first one was this old man with an impossible to pronounce last name, who walked with a cane and was considered one of the toughest teachers in the school. Before the end of October, he had mysteriously vanished. Like- they literally wouldn’t tell us where this man went. I feel like if he died or had a stroke, they would’ve had us pray for him during homeroom or something??? He left us no clues, he literally said to me ‘you did great on the worksheet today! Skip the homework, I’ll see you tomorrow’ and then for the next few weeks we had rotating substitutes until they found a new teacher kjshdgjkhd where did he GO

But anyway- he hated our class. He had the toughest teacher rep to live up to and he literally could not control a single student. Screamed his throat raw. Was constantly changing seating arraignments to try and keep certain kids apart. Was constantly getting bombarded with paper wasps and rubber bands and annoying kids asking invasive questions about his stroke. Kids were threating to fight him if he sent them to get detention. No one ever did the homework, everyone always yelling over him when he was trying to teach- in the later weeks before he disappeared, he literally just taught to me and like 3 other students in the front and tried to tune out the other kids. This poor dude omg. 

So, we had various substitutes that just put on movies for a few weeks, and then they found our second teacher. He was a cute, young guy, eager to mold young minds, was active in the church and his sister actually went to the school, so they though they could count on him to get our class together and stick it out for the full school year.

This man was mistreated so badly by these 15 year olds that he RAN AWAY TO ITALY.

I’M NOT EVEN BEING DRAMATIC HE LEGITMATELY MOVED TO ROME TO GET AWAY FROM US. 

He stood no chance. The SECOND he walked in all the kids could smell he was weak blood. The chaos went to new levels- people released real wasps into the room so everyone would run around in panic. Physical fights broke out *just* for the sake of disrupting class. No one would ever stop talking over him. A used tampon was once thrown at the chalkboard. I was shot in the arm with a homemade blow dart that a kid made during a test. People were always trying to hack into his laptop to get answers. A fire was started in the trashcan. Someone tried to climb out the window when he snapped and started screaming at everyone. He screamed so much his voice was almost perpetually hoarse in the days before he left. People would make inappropriate jokes about his fiancée and little sister. Someone tried to steal his camera a few times. The all had terrible nicknames for him.

I literally saw this man transform, before my very eyes, from someone happy and excited to live his passion, into a depressed and stressed out man who just wanted an out. I felt SO bad for him. I genuinely cannot imagine being pushed to my breaking point so hard that I decide my only option is to FLEE THE COUNTRY. But he literally came in one day like ‘guess what fuckers! I’ll be in Rome by the end of the week! Have fun in hell!’ ksdjfdskjfd

The third teacher- they had a hard time finding. Even people who were actively looking for teaching positions didn’t wanna take the job because word got around about us literally driving a man out of America. They ended up finding a teacher at another school who was good with ‘’’’’difficult students’’’’’ and offering him an obscene amount of money to switch. He...listen. He was nice.

He comes in the first day, says ‘So I don’t actually know what physical science is- I’m just gonna teach you guys chemistry’ and then proceeded to not actually teach chemistry. 

He got mad at the kids every now and then, but he was a lot calmer than the other teachers. He let A LOT slide and put on a lot of science videos to get out of trying to get through to the class. 

He was...not the most attentive. I distinctly remember being in the lab, and we were doing that thing where you make flames change colors, and while he had his back turned a guy at my table lit his worksheet on fire, laughed, wasn’t paying attention and let the flame get to his sleeve, had his sleeve catch fire, panicked and beat it out, all in a few moments, all before Mr. Sliffy managed to turn around to catch him. It was an almost completely silent affair, but I feel like the teacher should’ve noticed the residual smoke coming off a kids arm??? He didn’t say anything though khdfsfhkds

So we really skated through for the last trimester that year- apart from a few labs he’d just put on like, ocean life documentaries and if he saw you paying attention he’d give you full class credit. He gave out candy to ‘anyone who’s not being an asshole’, so while some kids were still wild and unruly, everyone calmed down enough so the constant screaming turned into more. Bearable chatter. Tests were few and far between and not that difficult. 

But I still cannot believe I had to live through this class like....I think I developed tinnitus just from sitting in it everyday. I was like constantly on guard for a fist or a dart to hit me for months afterward. It was too much like...can we please do something about schools oh my God. I don’t even know how to officially end this post. Please be nice to teachers oh my God. 

[ylla]

This Must Be The Place

Series: JJBA Characters: Nijimura Okuyasu, Higashikata Josuke Pairing: Higashikata Josuke/Nijimura Okuyasu Tags: Modern AU, mental health issues, implied/referenced domestic violence, underage smoking/drinking Rating: M AO3 link

i got the jjba fever, and these boys have killed me. i used my own experiences as someone with PTSD/DV survivor, so hopefully this comes across as coherent and a decent charaterization. there’s a specific au that this fic comes from, but it’s a roleplay thing with my two BFFs, and would take too long to explain what we did soooo, i kept those references to a minimum. i will eventually write for this pairing again, PLEASE ENJOY THIS TRIP TO HELL (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

If anything could be said about Okuyasu Nijimura, aside from his unwavering dedication to being a punk (smoking, loud swearing in public, spitting on the sidewalk, driving his motorcycle at unheard of speeds in residential areas, cutting class, the list goes on), it would be that underneath that scowling veneer, there was an entirely too soft heart residing in the core of him. He cared too much about: animals, sometimes sad looking objects that looked like no one cared about when he was feeling real emotional, and people. Especially one person in particular. Who was named Josuke ‘Gets Owned at Smash Brothers Constantly like a Fuckin’ Nerd’ Higashikata.

Yeah, Okuyasu loved a lot of other people. His dad, his brother, Ms. Higashikata who treated him like he was her own, Koichi, Tonio, a bunch of others who had shown him compassion and love at some point since he came to Morioh, and even Stray Cat (how much someone can love a sentient cat plant is debatable, but Oku wasn’t one to think too hard about that kind of thing). But, it was clear that his feelings for Josuke were, well…something a little more. Which of course, Okuyasu was aware that he had caught the dreaded Feelings; he oscillated between flat denials to everyone who raised eyebrows at his gushing over Josuke to actively sweating over how to confess that he was truly, madly, deeply in love with his best friend.

The first time Josuke and Okuyasu met wasn’t exactly romantic. Rather, it was lucky that both of them came out the situation alive, let alone Best Fuckin’ Bros. When he was laying there, staring up at the sky as Josuke healed him, anger disappearing alongside his wounds, he was struck by just how pretty Josuke was. Not only did he owe him one, but Okuyasu found it hard to punch a guy who did made his stomach do weird things when he looked him directly in the face. His handsome face. With pouty lips and the prettiest blue eyes he’d ever seen, and—holy shit, Josuke had an ass on him. A booty that could kill a man, given what it was doing to Okuyasu.

Besides the fattest ass he had ever seen and lips that would look good wrapped around anything, Okuyasu was amazed by how good-hearted Josuke was. Risking himself for Koichi, trying to help the elder Nijimura, saving Okuyasu’s life despite having been punched in the face repeatedly and almost killed by him. Comforting him after his brother was murdered. Accepting him as a friend the very next day. It was kindness without condition. It was more than Okuyasu had ever experienced, and he felt that he didn’t deserve it.

If you asked Okuyasu later, after everything had settled, when he knew that he was enamored with Josuke ‘Saves a Man’s Life Minutes after Hitting Him in the Goods with a Flower Pot’ Higashikata, his response would have been a simple statement:

“There’s no reason he has to die.”

Ain’t that a kick in the dick?

Masculinity is a funny thing, really. Men do a lot of odd shit in order to preserve their ‘manhood’, a vague concept in the best of times. In their quest in being ‘the manliest man’, dudes repress emotions, burying them and deflecting them with humor or just surly nature. Okuyasu wasn’t like a lot of dudes. He knew this. Keicho had made it a point to drive home this fact every chance he got. Okuyasu wore his heart on his sleeve. He cried frequently. He was unflinchingly honest with how he felt and saw himself in the grand scheme of things or compared to his friends. It was refreshing in the best of times, heartbreaking at the worst.

Okuyasu was convinced he wasn’t worth a damn thing; dumb, worthless, incompetent, waste of space. It was like a mantra that had been pounded into his head since he could remember. Stupid stupid stupid. He was pretty secure in his convictions. Not worthy of anyone’s time or effort. Nothing redeeming about him. This was a something he had long since accepted.

But, meeting Josuke changed everything. Finally, there was a person in his life who built him up, rather than do their damnedest hurt him.

“You’re great, Okuyasu!”

“Dude, that’s fucking GENIUS.”

“You’re the funniest person I’ve ever met, no joke.”

His heart swelled so much when he heard Josuke pay him compliments, he was pretty sure it was gonna burst out of his chest. Okuyasu was fairly certain that Josuke didn’t really pay his own remarks any mind, but they meant so much to him. Deep down in his heart of hearts, Okuyasu Nijimura wanted nothing more than to be what Josuke saw.

If he was asked what the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, Okuyasu would know that it would be a sleepy whisper he heard while sharing a bed with his best bro:

“I’m really glad I met you.”

Though feelings weren’t hard for Okuyasu to talk about, getting into a conversation about how he really felt about his Best Fuckin’ Bro or his psychological and physical scars wasn’t something he wanted to do, ever. He got the feeling that Josuke felt the same about his own shit, so they never really talked about their deep seated issues at length. Anything else was fair game; both boys enjoyed their late night deep conversations about anything, everything, and nothing all at once. It just never strayed into murky territory.

Then Kira blew that all to hell.

In all honesty, Okuyasu doesn’t remember much of that fight. There’s a big black space, punctuated with a sad dream about Keicho and decision-making, between meeting Kira in the street and finding Josuke collapsed in a puddle of his own blood, with wooden spikes pointing out of his body, making him look like the world’s saddest marionette. The rest is a blur, but he remembers clutching Josuke, trying to get his writhing, pompadoured friend to stay still until paramedics could get to him.

“You’re alive” Josuke croaked.

“Yeah buddy, I’m good, I’m golden.” Okuyasu was sitting on his knees with his arms around Josuke’s chest, holding him tightly without trying to hurt him further, “You need to stop moving, you’ve lost a lot of blood.”

Josuke was trying to turn around, “I’m aces, let me touch you. You’re alive. You’re alive, thank god. Thank god” he kept whispering, shaking so hard his teeth was chattering. Okuyasu wasn’t sure why Josuke was shaking like that, or why he was so clammy, so he just kept ahold of him, brushing his thumbs against the uninjured parts of his friend’s face, a desperate attempt at comfort.

Later, after Josuke had been loaded into the ambulance and Jotaro ushered him into a car to follow, that he learned Josuke was going into shock. Okuyasu knew that that much blood loss and shock had a very good chance of being fatal. A numb feeling crept into him, the gravity of the situation not truly hitting him until he sat in the ICU lounge at the hospital. He felt like he should cry; instead he just trembled.

It wasn’t until Tomoko arrived, bearing fresh clothes not only for her son, but for Okuyasu as well, did the dam finally break. Horrible, ugly sobs broke out of him; Tomoko shushed him while wiping away his tears, “The nurses are okay with letting you use a shower. Go get cleaned up and changed. I’ll send someone to get you if you’re not back before he’s able to have visitors.” With a nod, he managed to swallow back his tears. Tomoko sighed, her brows knitted together. Clearly, she was concerned with the wellbeing of both her son and the boy in front of her. It shouldn’t have surprised him when he was pulled into her patent Mom-is-Here-to-Make-It-Better Hug, but the kindness made Okuyasu’s sobs break out with renewed vigor. She just held him; rubbing his back and whispering reassuring things. Besides looks, it was easy to see that Josuke inherited a lot more from his mother.

Okuyasu managed to get himself back under control before letting go, hightailing it to the bathroom before he could make a fool of himself any further. Panic attacks where something he was already used to experiencing, but it never made it any easier. “Everything will be okay,” he mumbled over and over to himself, rocking back and forth under the blistering hot water.

Even after his near-hour long shower, he emerged fairly calmer. Actually he wasn’t, but he was able to fool himself into thinking he was. Josuke was in recovery, no one was allowed to see him aside from Tomoko, per Jotaro. All he could say was okay before aimlessly pacing around the room. The lounge was empty, save for Okuyasu and Jotaro keeping watch. “Okuyasu,” Jotaro finally said after what felt like century of silence, “Sit down.” The teenager had been staring into the corridor leading down to the surgery wing; he looked over at Jotaro, who hadn’t even bothered to stop reading his book.

Okuyasu nodded, “Yeah, okay.” He forced himself to sit on a couch, leaning back to get somewhat comfortable. He was asleep within a matter of minutes.

A gentle hand shook him awake, “Oku, honey.” Terrified, he gasped sharply, The Hand materializing beside him to fuck up— it was Tomoko. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Josuke’s awake and begging for you.” He spared a glance over her shoulder at Jotaro, who was hovering in the background, wearing a look on his face that Okuyasu didn’t like. A look that asked the question, “What the fuck?” He wasn’t in the mood to answer.

Getting his bearings, he dismissed The Hand, “S’fine. I’m up.”

It was a small miracle that Josuke got himself a private room. As they walked, Tomoko warned Okuyasu, “His injuries weren’t as bad as they feared, so he’ll get to go home in a few days, baring no infection. He’s loopy from the medication, and thinks—“ she bit her lip and Okuyasu instinctively knew how she was about to finish that statement, “He thinks you were injured? Something about a hole in your chest? He’s…he’s very upset. I just wanted you to be prepared.”

She looked so worried and afraid. He’d never seen her that vulnerable looking; it broke Okuyasu’s fragile heart into a million little pieces. “I figured. I think what happened made me hit my head, go unconscious. He was pretty fu—I mean messed up when I came to. Kept muttering about how I was alive.” Jotaro had told Okuyasu on the way there that they were to refer to this incident as a gas leak, and nothing more. He resented the fact that Jotaro felt the need to tell him because no shit sherlock, but then he remembered he was a fucking idiot with a big mouth anyways, so it was probably for the best. They made it to the door of Josuke’s room. Oku felt compelled to comfort her. “Don’t worry ‘bout him Ms. H, he’s gonna be okay. He’s tough as sh—an old boot?”

Tomoko gave him a teary smile and patted his face affectionately. Okuyasu wanted to do nothing more than to time travel and punch Joseph Joestar right in the fucking face for hurting such a sweet woman. We can’t win them all.

The lights in Josuke’s room were dimmed, in the hopes it would get him to sleep. It didn’t work, because Josuke was sitting straight up, eyes wide and completely zoned out. His only movements were him chewing on his bottom lip. His hair was a complete, utter disaster. The entire scene was unsettling. For a split second, Tomoko looked like how Okuyasu felt, until Mom Mode kicked in. “Honey, I’m back,” she placed a hand on Josuke’s shoulder, “I brought Okuyasu with me.” Josuke flinched, brought back to reality. He focused on Tomoko for a few seconds before his eyes slid over to Okuyasu. They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Josuke started struggling to get out of bed.

“Don’t—Damnit Josuke, don’t get up,” Okuyasu strode over to him, “you’ll bust your stitches.” Carefully stepping over all the bullshit wires attached to Josuke, Oku sat on the edge of his hospital bed. The roles were reversed for once; Josuke clung to him, sobbing wildly, while a slightly uncomfortable Okuyasu rubbed his back and did his best to comfort him.

“I thought you were dead.” He was slightly slurring.

“I’m fine Josuke, don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m okay. Everyone is okay.”

Reassurances meant jack shit when Josuke was clearly convinced that he had died, but it was all Oku had.

After a few more minutes of trying to calm Josuke down, the doctor walked in, his timing terrible. Tomoko got up and ushered him out of the room, knowing how her son felt about people seeing him cry. It was just the two bros left alone. At that point, Josuke managed to get his crying under control. He leaned back, putting his hand on the right side of Okuyasu’s chest, looking directly into his eyes, “You had a hole. Right here. From Kira’s explosion. I fixed it, but—“ his voice broke, “You were deadweight. You weren’t breathing. You had to be dead. There’s nothing else you could’ve been. I pretended it wasn’t true, but it was.”

The look on his best friend’s face was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen. Tentatively, Okuyasu wiped away Josuke’s tears, “You saved me, dude. Fixed me up, and I’m as good as new…so don’t cry okay? I’m okay.” Josuke closed his eyes and pressed his face into Oku’s touch. Thank god Tomoko was out of the room, or she would have seen Okuyasu blush so hard, he looked like he was seconds away from having a stroke.

Tell him! His inner voice screeched. Tell him you’re in love with him!!! Tell him now!!! Stop being a baby-backed bitch!!!

No, don’t! Another part of his conscience warned, Josuke’s emotionally vulnerable right now. He would feel obligated to return your feelings. Don’t put him through that. He’s suffered enough.

“Come on, lay back down. You’re gonna regret moving around this much when the morphine wears off.”

“Only if you promise you’re gonna stay right here with me.”

“M’not going anywhere, I promise.” Okuyasu had no idea if he was allowed to stay or not, but he would do his damnedest to keep his word.

Mercifully, Josuke calmed down enough to let his head hit the pillow with a groan. Then he remembered his hair existed. His hands flew up to the greasy, rat’s nest that his pomp had become. “Oh godDAMNIT” Josuke looked like he was about to cry again.

Panicking a little bit, Okuyasu stroked his face, “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Do you want me to French braid it?”

Josuke was distracted from his despair, “You know how to French braid?”

The next few hours were dedicated to fixing Josuke’s fucked up hair. The actual braiding normally doesn’t take that long, but Okuyasu was continuously interrupted from his task by what felt like literally the entire hospital. It was his own damn fault, insisting that it would be easier to do two braids since Josuke had so much hair, not admitting that it would take longer and therefore, give him more time to play with his bro’s hair. Had to find a comb and hair ties (thank God Tomoko had the sense to pack both in an overnight bag), then spent a while gently brushing out all of the product Josuke liked to use. Doctors and nurses were in and out. Koichi, accompanied by a scowling Rohan, stopped in briefly to check on the hero of the day; they left shortly afterwards, with Koichi giving Okuyasu a promise that he would check on his dad for him. Josuke had to eat and use the bathroom. Jotaro also popped in, but he mostly stayed outside in the hallway, reading. A nurse tried to get him to go back to the lounge, but Jotaro’s menacing aura and cold-as-death stare deterred the young man from continuing his train of thought. The marine biologist wasn’t bothered after that.

It was clear to Okuyasu that Tomoko knew Josuke better than anyone, seemingly able to anticipate his needs before anyone else, including Josuke himself. In all honesty, didn’t take a genius to see that her son was mostly calm only when Oku was in touching distance. So when the evening was winding down, and visiting hours were over, Tomoko shouted down the nurses who tried to get Okuyasu to leave. It was unknown to the teenager if she got her way using ironclad determination or if Jotaro’s menacing over her shoulder helped. Probably a little from column A and column B.

Okuyasu had started four hours ago, and was just now beginning on Josuke’s second braid. Tomoko had left the room to make some phone calls; presumably to work, Koichi’s mother, other relatives that Okuyasu had never met, and very possibly the Speedwagon Foundation (Jotaro had given her the number, simply stating “They’ll take care of everything” before throwing a hand up in goodbye and leaving). Josuke had managed, with a medium amount of effort, to sit with his back facing the edge of his bed. Okuyasu stood behind him, taking his time weaving Josuke’s hair. A comfortable silence had fallen on them until Josuke broke it, “Can I ask you something?”

This was typically how their deep conversations started. Okuyasu was already uneasy, “Go ahead.”

“When did you learn how to French braid?” At least Josuke was no longer slurring.

It was expected that the question would come up. Didn’t make him feel any better about the direction this conversation was heading. Okuyasu answered, “Keicho taught me.”

Josuke made the same noise in his throat that he always did when Keicho was brought up. Okuyasu grimaced. He was very aware of Josuke’s feelings regarding his big brother. A minute or two passed before Josuke spoke again, “Why did he teach you? Like, how the hell did he know?”

He was already in this deep, might as well share the story. “When mom was in the hospital, she taught ‘em how to do it. Keicho told me that she said it made her feel like an actual person again.” He paused for a minute, taking a slow, measured breath. “Big bro grew his hair out after she died. Taught me how to braid like that. I mostly did it when we were kids, but he’d ask me once in a blue moon when we got older.” Okuyasu paused again because his hands started shaking. He waited until it passed before he continued with his work.

Silence fell on them again for a bit. “When was the last time you did it?” Josuke asked.

Oku shifted from foot to foot, “…Dunno, maybe like, eight months ago? Nine months? Before we moved to Morioh. We had our stands for at least a year before…” At this point, Okuyasu was just talking, “Keicho had been out all day and it was late that night when he got back.”

“What was he doing?”

“Stand user hunting I guess? He’d get really pissed off if I ever questioned it.” Okuyasu shrugged. “A lot of times he’d just come home in some shitty mood and yell me or dad for whatever reason, but that night he was just. Tired. He showered, then kinda hovered in the doorway to my room until he asked me to braid his hair like I used to. So I did.” Okuyasu sighed, feeling weary down to the bone himself, “We didn’t talk when I did it, but after I finished, he said that he was going to bed and that he loved me…Probably last time I ever heard ‘em say that…”

Josuke wasn’t saying anything. The silence stretched on for minutes, and Oku started babbling, “I—I know he did a lot of awful shit, and I ain’t defending it—“ Before he could say anything else, the braid was finally finished; Okuyasu tied it off, grateful that he could move on from the subject. “I—I finally finished your hair. Now let’s get you laid back down, I’ve kept ya sitting up long enough.” He put a hand on Josuke’s back and the other on his shoulder to help him turn—

“Oku.”

“Y-yeah?”

Josuke was still facing forward, his voice soft, “You can braid my hair anytime you want to,” taking his non-IV’d hand and squeezed one resting on his shoulder.

Even as he flew high on morphine, riddled with holes and broken ribs, Josuke Higashikata was comforting his best bro. Tears stung the backs of Okuyas’s eyes. Goddamnit, why was he so good to him when he never fucking deserved it in the first place. He was the one in the fucking hospital, but the only thing on Josuke’s mind was his feelings. “Thanks bro. I’ll hold you to that” he said thickly.

Josuke patted his hand before allowing Okuyasu to help him lay down, “You’re gonna stay right?”

“Yeah. I think your mom scared the shit out of the doctors, so they’re, uh, gonna make an exception for me.”

“Good…good…”

Josuke was finally settled down in bed, looking pitiful. “Did mom bring a mirror? I wanna check out your handiwork.”

There was in fact a handheld mirror in the overnight bag Tomoko brought. She really did know her son. Okuyasu, suddenly feeling very self-conscious, held up the mirror for him, “If you don’t like it, I can take your hair down—“

A critical eye appraised the twin braids on his head. Agonizing seconds pass before Josuke spoke again, “Dude, it looks really good…”Josuke ran a hand over them, making an appreciative noise. He looked back up at his friend, “I can say that I now officially trust you with my hair. Promise you’ll do it again?” A smile, albeit a weary, tired one, was on his face.

If the Earth had opened up and swallowed Okuyasu whole, he would have just accepted it, knowing that he just got paid the highest compliment Josuke ‘I’ll Whoop Your Fuckin’ Ass if You Insult or Touch My Hair’ Higashikata could ever give another person. And if his face got any redder, he would probably pass out. I’m in love with you, you heartbreakingly beautiful bastard is what he wanted to say. Instead, he turned around, busying himself by pulling an extra armchair Jotaro may or may not have jacked from another room as close as he could to Josuke’s bed, desperately trying not look like a fucking fool. “That’s some high fuckin’ praise coming from you…I promise dude, you’re in good hands” he said, amazed at how even he had managed to make his voice sound.

Okuyasu managed to kick his shoes off and sit down, wrapping himself in a blanket that Jotaro also may have stolen. Immediately, he felt sleep almost overwhelm him. Before he would let it, Okuyasu glanced over at Josuke, who was intently staring at him. To his credit, Oku didn’t flinch, “You good, man? Morphine still killing the pain?” Josuke kept staring at him, and instead of actually answering, he spoke in a voice that was too small to come from him, “Will you hold my hand?”

Tears threatened again, but he nodded, “Yeah, man. I got you.” It wasn’t as awkward Okuyasu thought it would be, angling arms enough to where they would both be comfortable. Josuke’s hand was icy in his, and Oku rubbed his thumb in gentle circles over the back of his hand, trying to warm it up.

Josuke was asleep and Okuyasu was on the verge when he heard Tomoko quietly slip back in. The still lucid part of his brain was hollering about how she could clearly see him holding hands with her son, but the tired part was stronger and kept pulling him closer to sleep. She said nothing, merely walking over to Okuyasu and adjusting his blanket to cover him better, before planting a motherly kiss on the side of Oku’s head. He wanted to just weep forever. Tomoko gave Josuke the same treatment before settling down herself.

If you asked Okuyasu when he knew that his relationship with Josuke ‘Hold My Hand and Don’t Leave My Side, Bro’ Higashikata changed, his answer would be not when he was asked to hold his hand, or when Josuke was concerned about dumb shit with Keicho while recovering from horrible injuries, but when he was handed the key’s to his bro’s bread and butter: his precious hair. Most people would say that’s fucking stupid, but those people also got a kiss from Okuyasu’s fist, so who’s the real idiot here?

“Dude, it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was a complete waste of my damn time is what it was.”

Roughly six weeks had passed since Josuke had been released from the hospital. His physical injuries were mostly healed thanks to a (reluctant) visit to Tonio’s, but it was becoming increasingly apparent that the whole fight with Kira had taken a great toll on Josuke’s mental wellbeing. So apparent, that Tomoko had finally convinced her son to see a psychiatrist.

Okuyasu frowned at the top of Josuke’s head; he was once again French braiding his undone hair. Josuke had pulled out his pompadour in frustration earlier. “What was so bad about it? If you don’t mind me asking or—“

Josuke sighed irritably, and Oku flinched. He tried to remind himself that Josuke wasn’t mad at him, but at everything that was going on with him. “It’s just—“ Josuke began, “Being told you’re fucked up isn’t something you wanna hear.” Papers were being shuffled; Josuke was riffling through a plain manila folder again. Over his shoulder, Oku could see the title of a packet in big bold letters: PTSD: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment. “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, commonly known as PTSD, blah blah blah,” he read aloud, “Symptoms include—I’m just gonna read the ones that doctor highlighted—Insomnia, irritability, social isolation—sorry Koichi, nightmares, avoidance, lack of self-care, severe anxiety—look at that, that one’s underlined—“

Pretending that a lot of that didn’t apply to himself, Okuyasu interjected, “So, he pegged what’s wrong with you—“

“Clearly.” The last words came out harshly, and Oku flinched. He just kept braiding, unsure what to say back. The doctor had hit the nail on the head. Josuke didn’t sleep much anymore. He went days without showering or changing his clothes (he had in fact showered and done his hair today, but it had been the first one in 6 days. Okuyasu mentally kept count). Refused to see anyone save for his mother, Koichi on rare occasions, and Okuyasu. Actually, Josuke panicked when Okuyasu was outside of his line of sight. So, he stayed with Josuke as much as he could, but his other responsibilities called him. Okuyasu felt such immense guilt when he had to leave. He wanted to do more for Josuke, but he didn’t even know where to begin.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Josuke cleared his throat, “Hey, uhm…” Josuke shifted uncomfortably, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. It’s not your fault, and I’m not mad at you.” He sounded so tired. It hurt Okuyasu’s heart.

“S’fine dude, don’t worry—“

“No it’s not! It’s not fine! None of this is fine!” Josuke flailed upwards, out of Oku’s grip. He started pacing, “What the fuck is wrong with me?? Kira’s fucking dead, and you’re—“ He stopped short, opting to rub his face hard instead, “Why am I like this?? Why am I so scared and sick all the time?? I’m a goddamn monster, look at how I’ve been treating people!” Josuke gestured to the empty room, to Oku. “I get so pissed off, for no damn reason, and I take it out on you or mom, and neither of you deserve that. You don’t deserve my stupid bullshit.”

If Okuyasu’s heart could break anymore, it would. Not knowing what else to do, he got up and pulled his bro into the tightest bear hug he could manage, “Dude—“

Josuke didn’t break down into gut-wreching sobs as he had been prone to do lately, instead just laid his head on his bro’s shoulder, speaking in a broken, small voice, “Just wanna be okay again, Oku.”

“I know,” Okuyasu whispered, “I know. You will be, it’s just gonna take a while to get there.”

Josuke heaved a watery sigh, “Not trying to be ‘that’ guy, but you don’t know that.”

It was Oku’s turn to snap, “Dude, yes I do!” He pulled away from Josuke, and grabbed him by the shoulders, the most stupid, serious look on his face. “I didn’t have the exact same thing happen to me, but I get it. All these symptoms?” Okuyasu bent over and picked up the folder, shaking it for emphasis, “I feel these every fucking day of my life, dude. Literally every day.”

“Oku—“

His voice fraught with emotion, Oku continued, “Yeah, you don’t really ever get 100% better. You’ll have a good day, but then you have a truly awful fucked up day the next, for no reason other than you just woke up. But, you can learn how to cope. And function. It’s really hard, but it’s possible.”

He was so heated. He had no reason to be, it’s not like he ever told Josuke all this. He’d never told anyone this. Okuyasu never considered him a victim, but goddamn did he know the structure of his own psychology. Filled with a sudden sense of shame over being upset, he turned around, unable to look at his friend, “You’re not a monster. You’re just a guy who went through some awful shit, and now needs help to get through it. And that’s okay.”

Okuyasu rubbed his face, what a mess. The room was deafeningly silent. Josuke hugged him from behind, wet face pressed into the shorter kid’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I should’ve—“

“No, don’t. Don’t be sorry. S’not like I advertise it.” Okuyasu squeezed his bro’s arm, “My point is, I’m like. Here for you, dude. To listen, or hangout, or whatever you need. You’re not alone.” Josuke said nothing, only nodding into his shoulder. “Also, I’m not done with your hair yet, sit back down so I can finish.” Okuyasu tugged on him; Josuke let go and sat back on the floor.

Sitting in silence while Oku worked gave him an opportunity to gather his thoughts. He was gonna help, even if it killed him.

Josuke brought him out of his thoughts again, “So. What do I need to do? To stop feeling like this.”        

The rest of the afternoon was dedicated to just figuring out where to start.

“How do you like, deal with the bad shit in a not terrible way?” Josuke queried, pen in his mouth.            

Oku tied off the first braid and moved on to the second, “It’s different for every person. I think Keicho dealt with shit by—“

“Yeah, don’t give a shit what he did. What do you do?”

“Depends. If I’m not thinking straight, I write shit out. If I have a nightmare, I go take a walk around the neighborhood to burn off steam. If I’m feeling itchy or panicking, I take a hot shower.”

Josuke nodded, writing down ideas on the back of the PTSD packet he was given. He seemed genuinely receptive to what Okuyasu was saying. When he finished Josuke’s hair, they both ended up laying in his bed, still spit balling.

“It’s also important to learn what might like, trigger all the bad feelings and shit.”

Josuke scratched his cheek “Feels like everything does.”

“Is there anything that makes you feel super bad? Or dredges up nasty thoughts?”

He took him a moment to answer, “…Remember how we watched Transformers the other day? All those explosions made me feel nauseous.”

Oku snapped his fingers, “There’s a start. So we start by limiting how much you see of that for awhile.”

“I think I’m good with like, cartoony explosions? Where it doesn’t involve shit that looks real?” Josuke’s brows furrowed, “That make sense?”

“Yeah, yeah I get you. So like, Looney Tunes shit or when Captain Falcon does The Knee of Justice in Smash—“

“Don’t worry, you can still use your main. I think I’ll be okay. If I’m not, I promise I’ll tell you.”

“Anything else you can name off of the top of your head?”

With a sigh, Josuke rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. He was quiet for a long time, before speaking in a low voice, “If I don’t see you with my own two eyes, I get really anxious. Like, bad anxious. Gonna puke anxious. Can’t exactly see you at every given moment in the day, can I?”

Okuyasu chewed on his lip, trying to come up with an answer when the alarm on his phone rang. It was 4 o’clock in the afternoon; time to feed his dad again. The cogs in his brain started turning, “I got an idea. Gimme your phone.” Josuke acquiesced, unlocking it before handing it over. The wallpaper made Oku snort. It was a selfie of him, Josuke, and Koichi making drunken stupid faces. It had be the one time Koichi had ever gotten shitfaced with them. Oku pulled up his clock app and set a timer for 60 minutes.

“Okay, I’m gonna go over to my house for an hour. You can’t come with me, so what you’re gonna do is try some of these out.” He gestured at the back of the paper, “Maybe you’ll even come up with something we didn’t think of.”

Josuke shifted uncomfortably, already anxious-looking, “I dunno if I like this idea.”

“It’ll be good practice,” Oku said, while getting up, “Plus, if you need me, you can just text me.”

Josuke frowned at the ceiling, “I always need you.”

Both boys froze upon realizing what Josuke had just said.

Okuyasu stuttered, “I—I’m gonna go c-check on dad. Be b-back in bit.” He stumbled out of the room in a slight panic and was halfway down the stairs when he remembered to holler, “START THAT COUNTDOWN.”

“OKAY!” came the affirmative.

You could have fried an egg on Okuyasu’s face. He pounded down the street to his house, trying to run away from his feelings but, goddamnit, they were still there, following him. Since that first night in the hospital, his relationship with Josuke had become charged with an undercurrent that he couldn’t quite figure out. It was very obvious something had changed between them. They lingered when giving each other hugs, sometimes held hands whenever Josuke needed it, and basically cuddled when they slept in the same bed. It would need to be addressed at some point, but not when things were too shaky. Confessions can come later.

Oku got home and immediately set to work; feeding his dad and Stray Cat, packing some clothes so he’d have something to change into in the morning. He was about 15 minutes into his chores when his text alert chirped:

J☮♡: I’m struggling

J☮♡: I can’t empty my stupid head long enough to thing about literally anything else

You: youre doing good though

You: do something thats mindless, like a game. U got 40 mins left, u got this

J☮♡: I’ll try.

He did his best to be encouraging, and hoped that it would be enough for now. Finished with slinging clean clothes into a duffel bag, Oku dug through a shopping bag that had been laying by his shitty desk. Writing really did help him sort his brain out, so he was a frequent purchaser of notebook packs. There was one that Josuke would love: purple with gold polka dots, his aesthetic. But when that bad lad was cracked open, Okuyasu saw that the first page was adorned with hearts containing his and Josuke’s initials. He let out a ‘REEEEEEEEE’ before throwing it away from him as hard as he could.

Perhaps Josuke would prefer the cerulean with mint colored triangles on the front instead.

He went fishing in the bag again, this time finding a cute star keychain. Before Kira sent everything to hell, Okuyasu had every intention to give Josuke his other set of house keys, in case anything were to ever happen to him. Oku stared at the little star. He bought it because Josuke was his star and—oh god maybe now is not the time to think about how gay you are for your best friend—before clipping it onto the spare set he had laying on his desk. Better late than never.

With a few minutes to spare, he returned to Josuke’s house. “I’m baaack, Josuke!” A walrus groan from the family room answered him. He found a white-knuckled, pale Josuke sitting on the floor playing Animal Crossing: City Folk. Back when Josuke first bought it, Okuyasu teased him mercilessly before getting sucked into how damn chill it was. “Did you make a new town?”

Josuke visible relaxed when Okuyasu plopped down beside him, “Nah, don’t worry about your little dude. Deleted my villager and made a new one.”

Okuyasu stretched out on his stomach, propped his head up with a pilfered pillow from the couch. “Was it helping?” he yawned.

It took Josuke a few seconds to answer; a fish was refusing to be caught and it was taking his concentration, “Hm? Oh, uh, yeah actually. It was working before ya ugly mug showed back up.”

“Shut up, we both know I’m the sexy one in this friendship. I got bitches swarming my dick. Gotta beat ‘em off.” A bold faced lie if there ever was one.

Josuke snorted, “Phrasing.” He playfully knocked into Oku’s shoulder, “You are pretty sexy, dude.” Okuyasu pretended his face wasn’t the same red as the roof of Josuke’s Animal Crossing house.

They bantered back and forth for a while; Josuke offered up control of the Wiimote, but Oku enjoyed watching him play. “Oh yeah, before I forget,” Okuyasu dug into his duffel bag, pulling out the notebook and keys, “Here.” Josuke took them, an eyebrow arched. Oku felt self-conscious, but he soldiered on, “When I got something pretty to write in, it makes it easier for me to do it. That’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s not stupid.” Josuke flipped the notebook front and back, “This is cute, I’ll definitely have to use it. You got good taste.”

“Hell yeah I do.” You don’t even know the half of it. He cleared his throat, time for the embarrassing part, “And those keys are my spare set. You know I could sleep through a hurricane, so if ya ever have a nightmare, you can come wake my dumb ass up and we’ll go take a walk, or something. No matter how late. I was gonna give ‘em to ya before…W-well now seems like a good time anyways.” He wanted his dumb mouth fuck off for good.

Josuke traced a finger over the star keychain before choking out, “Thanks dude. I appreciate it.”

Okuyasu gripped him in a strong one-armed hug, “S’no problem. What I’m here for. Now that’s outta the way, lemme beat your ass in Smash before dinner.”

They played a couple rounds of Smash. Josuke did okay, which he seemed relieved about. He was also boastful, because he managed to beat Oku a few times. Okuyasu was just glad they were playing. After dinner, they ended up watching some dumbass movies before stumping back up to Josuke’s room to pass out. Josuke was already settled into bed, half-asleep when Oku came back from the shower. Unsure if Josuke wanted him in the bed with him, Okuyasu tried to quietly move around the room to pick up his faithful childhood friend, a stuffed cat named Mr. Whiskers (Josuke never teased him for it, which he thanked God for every day). While he was facing the wall, Josuke reached behind him and patted the bed. It was a gesture to let Okuyasu know he was welcome. Oku turned off the lamp beside the bed, and crawled under the covers. Josuke’s full-sized bed groaned underneath him as he settled down. “G’night bro.” He got a grunt in response.

Maybe thirty minutes passed, “Hey Oku.” Josuke whispered, voice drowsy.

“Hm?”

“Thanks for everything. You’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit. I’m lucky to have you.”

Okuyasu had never been so thankful for darkness in all his life. It did a good job of hiding the tears streaming down his face. Josuke really did do his damnedest to shine a light on his dark feelings. He managed to reply, a lump in his throat, “Don’t mention it. Now get some sleep. You’ll wake me up if you have a nightmare, right?”

“Mm.”

“Promise?”

“Mm.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Mm.”

“Night, bro.”

He didn’t even get a response to the last one. Sleep took him a few minutes later too.

Josuke did end up having a nightmare that night, but kept his word and woke up Oku. They ended up sneaking out and walking around the neighborhood at 2 o’clock in the morning, chainsmoking. Okuyasu had an arrangement with the night clerk at the gas station, he got cigarettes and cheap beer if he slid some extra cash across the counter.

They ended up on the roof of Josuke’s house, sharing a six-pack, and stayed up there until dawn. It would have been the most romantic thing that had ever happened to Oku, if the circumstances were different.

If you asked Okuyasu, if he had to pick between sunrises and sunsets which he would choose, he would remember that morning, as he held Josuke’s hand while watching the sun peak up over the horizon.

Josuke had that intractable Joestar will. He never backed down once he had his mind set on something, no matter how big or small. Sometimes to his detriment, but mostly it worked out for him. It used to blow Okuyasu’s mind how dedicated and goddamn stubborn his friend could be.

He needed that attitude.

Progress was very slow. In the beginning, Josuke had more bad days than good. After a couple of weeks, with the start of school looming over them, he was impatient.

“I thought this was supposed to fix it??” Josuke stubbed out the remnants of his cigarette and paced around on Okuyasu’s back porch. It faced away from Josuke’s house and had trees blocking the view in the back, so they hung out back there when they were smoking and drinking like the rebellious teens they were.

Okuyasu tutted at him from in behind his cigarette; he took a drag, held it for a few seconds then blew it out, “I told you, it wouldn’t be overnight. It takes a lot of time and patience. You just have to keep at it and give it time.” He flicked the ash off the end, then frowned as he brushed more ash off of his shorts.

Josuke groaned, “I know, it just sucks.” He plucked another cigarette out of the box, and held it out for Oku to light it. He wasn’t fond of fire near his face anymore. Okuyasu obliged, and Josuke held up his cigarette in thanks before taking a puff. “By the way, I texted Koichi this morning and asked if he wanted to hang, which he does. So we’re doing that today, if you’re down.”

“Fuck yeah I am, but you gonna be good for it?”

“I’m gonna try.”

That’s all anyone could ask for. Hanging out with Koichi went well. The little man seemed immensely relieved that he got to see his best buds, “I’ve been swamped with summer classes, but I’ve missed you guys! We should hangout more before school starts back up for real.”

Okuyasu gave Koichi a noogie while Josuke snorted, “Missed you too dude. Come on, let’s get ice cream.”

They did get some hangout time in before classes started up again. Okuyasu had been nervous for Josuke, hoping that he was ready for the routine of school. But, things were only moderately rocky. He didn’t have much to fear, but god, did he still worry like a mother hen.

With a lot of work, Josuke got used to being separated from Oku. It started at an hour, but slowly built up over time. Two hours every day for a week, three the next, four, five, on and on until they hit about 12 hours. Now Okuyasu could sleep in his house again, though he still spent the night four days out of the week at Josuke’s.

Over time, they figured out more things that would trigger Josuke. The sight of blood made him ill. He couldn’t watch fireworks unless he was far enough away that he didn’t hear the noise. Thunderstorms too, which was figured out the hard way.

During the first thunderstorm since the Kira shit, Okuyasu was sleeping in his room and woke up in the middle of the night to find a sopping wet Josuke standing over him, face pale and eyes wide. It scared the shit out of him; Oku fell out of bed with a shriek, naked as the day he was born, “DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK!” Josuke opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Oku scrambled for his sweatpants, rolling around trying to get them on. The Hand hovered beside him. He wanted to throw up, if he hadn’t been too surprised to properly react, Josuke would be dead.

He took a few deep breaths while lying on the ground, focusing on how cold the wood felt on his back, and willed The Hand away. When he got his bearings, Okuyasu stood up and clicked on the lamp on his nightstand, still shaky.

Josuke looked at him with tears in his eyes, “S-sorry.”

“It’s fine, you just—I just freak a little when I get surprised awake sometimes,” he was willing to talk about that, just not at the moment, “Come on, let’s get you changed.” Josuke stripped down to his boxer briefs; Okuyasu handed him a pair of basketball shorts and tank top that Josuke had left there before, staring at a particularly interesting stain on his hardwood floor.

Josuke sat on the edge of the bed while Oku kneeled in behind him, quickly braiding his hair before tapping him on the shoulder to get him to lay down. Josuke did as he was directed, Oku leaned over to turn off the light before plopping beside Josuke. Every time it thundered and lighting streaked across the sky, he flinched and made a horrible choking sound; Oku rubbed his back and wiped his tears away. They laid there quietly for hours, until the rumblings of thunder were far away. “Sorry,” Josuke croaked.

“S’fine. Did you tell your mom you’re here?”

“…Shit” he sniffed.

Oku groped for his phone, then shot off a text to Tomoko:

You: lettin u kno that josuke is at my house

You: please dont get mad

He placed his phone back on the nightstand. Josuke had his face pressed into Oku’s bare shoulder, eyes closed. The teen was unsure if he was out, so he just adjusted the covers over them and let himself sleep.

Josuke said he felt like an utter dick when they woke up the next morning. Oku waved him down, it was fine. No need to be upset. They laid in the bed, sunlight streaming through the blinds.

Josuke was chewing on his bottom lip, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Immediately, Okuyasu started getting that sick, creeping feeling, “Shoot.”

“Last night, you—you summoned The Hand when I woke you up. Why?”

Oh god, this conversation. Okuyasu steeled himself, “It was unconscious. I…okay sometimes when I get scared awake, I’m ready to start kicking ass.”

Josuke raised an eyebrow; Oku went red in the face, embarrassed, “I mean, like. Defend myself? That’s probably a better way to put it.”

“I’ve never seen you do that.”

“Because I make it a point to wake up before you do,” Okuyasu pointed out, “When have you ever had to wake me up?”

Josuke considered this carefully before responding, “That’s true. I don’t think I ever have…So why do you feel like that? Like you gotta defend yourself from someone shaking you awake?”

This was happening. Okuyasu rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling, “Dad used to wake us up in the middle of the night to smack us around.” Okuyasu shrugged, “It’s been about 10 years, but I still feel like I’m gonna wake up to a fist.”

He glanced over at Josuke, nervous. His friend looked sick, and pulled Oku into his arms, “You didn’t deserve that, and I’m so fucking sorry.” Yep, there came the tears. It was so tender, it made Oku’s stomach roil. He would allow himself to be comforted this one time.

After that, the conversations stopped being just about Josuke, but also about Okuyasu.

Inventory of his scars was taken:

The ones on his back? Some were from the time he fell ass-backwards onto some broken glass after he and Keicho broke into some store. It had been Keicho’s idea, he made sure to stress. Others were from the time he fell off a cliff and into a briar patch while riding a bike at the age of 8. Keicho was picking out thorns for hours afterwards.

Scar on the left side of his rib cage? He got shanked during a fight when he was 14.

The scars on his hands and legs? Also from fights, and being a damn fool as a child.

The weird collection of bumps on his right pec? A mixture of chicken pox scars and that one time he cooked bacon while shirtless. The scars from grease were only a year old.

The puncture looking one on his left foot? Stepped on a nail in their old house before moving to Morioh.

The ones on his face? Bad Company. Two paratroopers had cut his face while repelling out of a helicopter. Keicho did it so Okuyasu would summon The Hand in order to defend himself. The blood loss freaked Keicho out enough to drag him to their neighbor’s house, who had been a mob doctor. He stitched Okuyasu up as best as he could; Keicho never used his stand on him again until the arrival of Josuke.

Okuyasu talked about how he missed who Keicho used to be, before he became obsessed with the arrow and so angry; when he would read Oku stories and help him with homework. About how he had forgiven his father and was able to take care of him, despite everything that fucking bastard put him through. How he missed his mother, a woman he vaguely remembered only when looking at pictures.

He talked about how he felt safe.

Days stretched into weeks. Weeks became months. Holidays and birthdays came and went; both boys were now 17. Before they realized it, a year had passed and summer came again. At the end of the summer break, they would be quickly approaching their final year of high school.

Josuke had more good days than bad now. He was back to hanging out with Koichi, doing his pomp, staying on top of his homework. He still saw the psychiatrist, it actually did help a little bit. “Living is still a work in process, but hey, I’m functioning today. That’s a win right?” he’d say with confidence. Okuyasu was elated to the point of weeping (which he did, when he wasn’t in Josuke’s presence).

Storms still were Josuke’s wild card trigger, since you could never really prevent that. One night, there was a particularly nasty thunderstorm. Josuke was staying over; Tomoko had a hot date that night (“GET IT, MS. H!” Okuyasu had hollered when she waved goodbye. Josuke looked like he wanted to die). They had managed to move from sitting on Oku’s bed to sitting on the back porch, watching the rain pour. The power had been knocked out, but they had their traditional six-pack and box of cigarettes between them, so things were mostly gravy.

To his credit, Josuke merely flinched and scrabbled for Oku’s hand when lightning shot across the sky followed by a rumble of thunder.

“If you need a break, we can go inside.”

“Nah, I’m okay…just hold my hand.”

They drank and laughed, curled up in blankets. Pleasantly warm from each other’s company and the shitty beer Okuyasu managed to get his hands on.

Around 1 in the morning, the rain petered out, the clouds moving on to piss all over somewhere else.

“How you doing?” Okuyasu asked.

“I’m golden, my dude.” Josuke squeezed his hand, ”Hey, look, you can see all the stars.”

It was true, all the lights being kaput cleared up the night sky. Okuyasu could see the Milky Way.              

“S’beautiful.”

“Yeah…” Josuke seemed to be deep in thought.

“Got something on your mind dude?” Oku asked after awhile, taking a sip from his beer.

Josuke seemed to be choosing his words carefully, “Can I be honest about something?”

“Go for it.”

His friend was squirming uncomfortably. Oh no. “So like,” Josuke began “There’s still something I haven’t told you.”

Oh no. “What is it?” Oku was starting to get heart palpitations.

“I’m in love with someone.”

To his surprise, Oku managed to choke out, “Oh, who is it?” He felt like he was on the verge of tears, but kept it together. He knew in his heart of hearts it wasn’t him.

It took Josuke a few minutes to answer, “You know him—“

“Oh goddamnit, tell me it’s not Koichi—“

“No! What??”

“Mikitaka??”

“No!! Let me fin—“

“OR ROHAN, THAT WOULD BE THE LITERAL WORST THING EVER—“

“For god’s sake!!! No!! I’d rather die!!! Just. Let me finish.” Josuke sounded peeved. Okuyasu forced himself to go quiet. With a sigh, and a soft clink, he sat his beer can down, “You know him, but maybe not as well as you think you do.”

“Josuke,” Okuyasu’s voice was strained, “You just gotta come out and say it. I’m too stupid for this. You gotta tell me.” He was heartbroken, but he did his best to keep it out of his voice. He failed. “You just gotta get it over with.”

Josuke said nothing for a moment. Instead, he got up on his knees, leaned over to Okuyasu, and kissed him square on the lips. It was soft and tender, and—oh god, there’s the tears.

Feeling his wet tears, Josuke started panicking, pulling away, “Oh shit dude, are you okay? Did I upset you??” Hesitantly, he wiped Oku’s tears away.

Okuyasu shook his head, “No, I’m okay….can you kiss me again? Please?” Josuke nodded, giving him sweet, chaste kisses on lips, cheeks, forehead, and chin.

It took some effort, but Oku calmed down enough to ask, “Why me?”

“Whaddya mean ‘why me’? How could it not be you?” Josuke sounded genuinely confused.

“You’re literally the hottest guy in Morioh! You could have literally anyone else, so why choose the stupid looking fucko who’s dumb as a bag of hammers?”

Josuke held Oku’s face in his hands, “Because you are none of those. You’ve been here with me for the roughest fucking parts of my life. You are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for. Not to mention, you’re the funniest person I’ve ever met. Every time you hug me, or hold my hand, I just wanna kiss you all over. Dude,” Josuke squeezed his cheeks gently for emphasis, “Your smile is like the sun, and all I wanna do is bask in it like a dumb ass sunflower.”

The tears started up again, but Okuyasu got himself under control enough to kiss Josuke on the mouth, “I love you too. I’ve been after you like some lovestarved idiot forever.”

“Why not tell me??”

“Same reasons you never told me, I guess.”

Josuke brushed the tears off Oku’s face, “So, you wanna be my boyfriend.” For his trouble, he got tackled to the ground, and sloppy, inexperienced kisses all over his face. “Agh! I guess that’s yes?”

Oku buried his bright red face into Josuke’s neck, “You fuckin’ know it is.”          

They cuddled for real that night, getting used to kissing each other. The next day was rather comical, as no one was surprised at this development.

“What do you MEAN you’re not surprised by us??” Josuke howled, shaking his and Okuyasu’s clasped hands for emphasis. They were sitting in front of the ice cream parlor; Koichi was counting a fat stack of yen from the apparent bets that everyone from school made on their relationship.

“Josuke,” Koichi said seriously, “Literally everyone knew. You were only oblivious to each other.” He patted Josuke’s shoulder, “I am happy for you guys though, you finally figured it out. Ice cream’s on me.”

Everyone else’s reaction was more or less the same. Yuuya was the only one remotely shocked, “Thought you guys had been together from the get-go.”

Tomoko was happy, kissing both boys on the cheek, “Finally, one of you had the sense to say something. It was driving me up the wall.”

“Thanks mom.” Josuke grumbled.

That evening, they were back on Josuke’s roof, watching the sunset.

“Hey,” Okuyasu said, pulling Josuke’s face close, “I love you jerkass.”

Josuke gave him a smooch, “Love you too dickhead.”

“Asshole”

“Shitweasel”

If you asked Okuyasu when he knew he’d want to spend the rest of his life with Josuke ‘Sexy Ass Looking Rat Bastard’ Higashikata, his answer would be when they sat on his roof, trading insults in between kisses until Tomoko hollered at them to get down, please.

If Okuyasu was the Sun, then Josuke was the Moon, the Stars and everything in between. Finally, Okuyasu felt like he truly mattered to someone. All it took was meeting the love of his life by punching him in the face.

But that’s how it goes sometimes.                                                                       

[mrlnsfrt]

Upward, Inward, Outward

Our local church school Valdosta Christian Academy is celebrating its 50 anniversary and this got me thinking about the importance of good Christian education and also got me thinking about how much things have changed in 50 years.

I did a quick search to find out some of the things that happened in 1968, the year our Christian school was founded, originally in Lakeland (a city roughly 15 miles from Valdosta). I discovered all kinds of interesting things took place that year. One website had several interesting facts including that in 1968 McDonald's first began to sell Big Macs nationwide for 49 cents. It was also around that time that the Boeing 747 made its maiden flight and forever changed air travel. 1968 was also a year of terrible turmoil, it was the year that Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. There were many more major events that took place and you can read about them here.

As I read about what life was like in 1968 and how the average cost of new house was $14,950.00 and the average income per year $7,850.00. Back then the average monthly rent was $130.00 and gas cost 34 cents per gallon. Those were different times when the average cost of a new car was $2,822.00 and the federal hourly minimum wage was $1.60 an hour (source).

Life has changed a lot here in the United States from 1968 to 2018. I was recently startled by some data about the generation currently attending our school. Our students are members of Generation Z. Gen-Z is the most diverse generation ever. Nearly half of Gen-Z workers will come from Hispanic and non-white backgrounds. The breadth of Gen-Z’s diversity extends beyond ethnicity. A study by the Innovation Group finds Gen-Zers are less likely to identify as heterosexual (48% compared to 65% of Millennials). 82% agree gender doesn’t define a person as much as it used to. Facebook even now allows more than 50 different gender identities. (source)

There is a lot of information about Generation Z out there, some of it is even contradictory so I won't dedicate too much time to it. But I do want to highlight how different things are, and they keep changing at a pace that seems to continue to speed up. So the question that comes to my mind is, "Do we still need Christian Education?"

I believe we do, more than ever. But can a Christian school, especially a small one, really prepare our children for the modern world?

I strongly believe so. I say this fully aware that we are preparing them for a world that will be, in all likelihood, vastly different from ours. We are trying to equip them, in many cases, to work in jobs that don't even exist yet. Science and technology are advancing at such a pace that what you learn seems to quickly become obsolete or at least outdated. 

In my personal life, I remember having to take a mandatory class in college that included a long section on how to use Microsoft Word. The very next year a new version of Microsoft Word came out, and what I had learned became outdated. 

So how do we prepare the children? If you are a parent where do you send your kids? To the new big public school? To the fancy charter school? There are so many options nowadays, should you homeschool? These are not easy questions and I do not claim to have all the answers. But I would like to share how I have approached this issue personally.

I have attended public schools and Adventist schools. I attended and Adventist University and my wife attended a state university. Both of us had positive and negative experiences both in public and private schools. Because I want to refrain as much as possible from sharing just my opinions let's talk about some principles.

Principles

When everything around us is changing we need an anchor point, a way of getting our bearings. This generation coming up now will face even greater difficulties than my generation, the Millenials, are facing. It is impossible for us to know exactly what the world will be like for them, or even for us. So how do you prepare for the unknown? Since it is impossible to know the details we focus on the principles. When you have good, solid, principles, you can apply them to varying circumstances. 

This summer while on vacation and stuck in traffic during a thunderstorm, while my wife and kids slept, I was listening to an interview with Ray Dalio. For those who may not be familiar with him, Ray Dalio, one of the world’s most successful investors and entrepreneurs. During his interview, he made several references to his book Principles, where he shares the unconventional principles that helped him create unique results in life and business—and which any person or organization can adopt to better achieve their goals.

His book is a #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER as well as a #1 AMAZON BUSINESS BOOK OF THE YEAR. To give you an idea, Bill Gates said that Ray Dalio has provided him with invaluable guidance (source). 

Ray Dalio says the following about himself:

Whatever success I’ve had in life hasn’t been because of anything unique about me—it’s because of principles that I believe anyone can adopt. - Ray Dalio

 I agree with Ray Dalio that the right principles can shape a life for success. If you are searching for success in the world of business and investing, I would say you should check out Dalio's principles. But I have an even stronger suggestion for you. If your desire is for eternal life and success that goes much beyond our sinful world, check out the Bible.

In the Bible, we find God's principles for life here on earth that will ultimately lead to eternal life with Him. When I say eternal, I mean without end, it goes on and on and on forever! Whatever finite thing that can be given up for something that is infinite is worth giving up.

The biblical principles can be found throughout scriptures and can be expressed in many different ways. The principles themselves do not change, though their application takes on different forms as we apply them in different ways and under different circumstances.

Upward

The first principle or the top priority found throughout the Holy Scriptures is that God must be first. The Bible tells us that everything begins with God (Genesis 1, John 1,) and God tells us to put Him first, God must not only be first, He cannot share that place with anything else. In Exodus 20 we find the words of God Himself recorded, and He said:

You shall have no other gods before Me. - God (Genesis 20:3)

So the first principle is put God first. I like to think of this as the upward dimension of life. Our relationship with God will significantly shape all other areas of our life. Isaiah 6 illustrates this well. There we read of the prophet's experience when he, in vision, found himself in the very presence of God!

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!”

And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. - Isaiah 6:1-4 NKJV

Isaiah finds himself in the presence of God! He witnesses God's power and greatness and holiness. In the presence of God, Isaiah does not only better understand God, but Isaiah also gains insights about himself. Isaiah better understands himself when He draws closer to God.

Inward

Our relationship with God does not only lead us to a better understanding of God but also a better understanding of ourselves. What is Isaiah's response to being in the presence of God?

So I said:

“Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The Lord of hosts.” - Isaiah 6:5 NKJV

Isaiah does not become proud of boastful for being in the presence of God. Isaiah does not consider himself superior to others because of his privilege of being in the presence of God. Perhaps surprisingly Isaiah feels the opposite. He is humbled and made aware of how unworthy he is to be in Gods presence. Isaiah recognizes that he does not always speak the way he ought to and that his environment is not any better. Isaiah, being a prophet, chosen by God, is not proud but humbled by the vision of God in His Holy Temple. Isaiah is overwhelmed by who God is, by God's power and Holiness. 

Instead of being proud, Isaiah fears for his life for he knows that He is not worthy to stand before a Holy and Awesome God. Oh if more of us could have that experience. So many are proud of how close to God they are. They look down on others considering them inferior. At church sometimes it seems like that closer people come to God, the prouder they become, the more judgmental they become, and the more they point fingers. When I read about Isaiah's experience, as recorded in Isaiah 6, I see a holy man who feels unworthy, who is humbled and fears for his life.

If you are reading this and you feel proud of your holiness, and godliness, I am sorry to tell you that chances are you are not as close to God as you would like to think. As we advance upward, we also delve inward and recognize we are not worthy to receive the blessings we receive daily. Upward mobility translates into humility and never pride.

In recognizing his unworthiness Isaiah is overcome by fear. Then something happens,

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said:

“Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged.” - Isaiah 6:6-7 NKJV

One of the seraphim comes to Isaiah's rescue. The angel himself is not able to save Isaiah but he brings a live coal taken from the altar. It is thanks to the sacrifice offered at the altar that Isaiah's iniquity is taken away and that his sin is purged. Isaiah now experiences salvation from God, he is now able to stand not because of anything he did but because of the offering from the altar. Isaiah has been saved by grace. 

Outward 

 Once Isaiah experiences salvation something changed, he now heard God’s voice, Isaiah became aware of a need.

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

“Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”

Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” - Isaiah 6:8 NKJV

After experiencing salvation the prophet became aware of God’s desire for someone to go for Him, Isaiah was willing and in God’s calling, he found his mission. Isaiah, after being in the presence of God and receiving salvation now wanted to go and do God’s will. Isaiah was willing to go for God and deliver His message.

When we seek God, we find God, we are humbled by Him, saved by Him, and sent by Him into all the world.

Conclusion

Learning math, science, reading, and history is great. But even more important is learning to connect with God on a personal level and learning from Him how to apply everything that we learn for the growth of His kingdom. Most school will give you the tools, a good Christian school gives you also a purpose and goal that is other focused. Science and math can provide you with how, and God will provide you with a why. And that is why we support our local Christian school, because it not only teaches our children math and science and English, etc. but also Biblical values for a meaningful life.

Our life is made up of three dimensions, upward, inward, and outward. God is the key, the focus, to figuring it all out. As we reach upward to something greater than ourselves we find God who helps us discover who we truly are. In the process of finding ourselves, we realize our need of God, our need to be saved. As we experience that salvation and a loving relationship with God we find our purpose, we discover our earthly mission, to go as God’s ambassadors revealing His character to the world and sharing the good news of Salvation in Christ Jesus.

[chipsanddespair]

As the U.S. labor force crests again, a new complex of problems locks many Americans out of the workplace.

Even at so-called full employment, some 20 million Americans are left behind.

Theyre looking for work, out of the labor force but unhappy about it, or report working part-time when theyd prefer more hours, according to data released last week. Their plight comes even as the U.S. flirts with what economists consider the maximum level of employment for the first time since before the recession, having added 15.8 million jobs since the start of 2010. While some of Americas jobless are simply between gigs, those persistently stuck out of work are called the structurally unemployed.

President Donald Trump said wrongly last month that 96 million people are looking for work, having included Americans who are still in school, retired, or just uninterested. Yet his words resonated in a country where economic insecurity is distributed unequally and cruellyfar deeper in Mingo, W. Va., than in midtown Manhattan.

Because of where the structurally unemployed live, what theyve done, or the skills they lack, employers cant or wont hire them. The problems that keep today’s jobless stuck on the sidelines are different than those of past recoveries: a complex web of often interrelated issues from disability and drug use to criminal records.

Behind the statistics are people with 20 million unique stories. Here are five.

President Donald Trump said wrongly last month that 96 million people are looking for work, having included Americans who are still in school, retired, or just uninterested. Yet his words resonated in a country where economic insecurity is distributed unequally and cruellyfar deeper in Mingo, W. Va., than in midtown Manhattan.

Because of where the structurally unemployed live, what theyve done, or the skills they lack, employers cant or wont hire them. The problems that keep today’s jobless stuck on the sidelines are different than those of past recoveries: a complex web of often interrelated issues from disability and drug use to criminal records.

Behind the statistics are people with 20 million unique stories. Here are five.

Fighting To Get Out of Mingo, W. Va.

Tyler Moores late-December drive to Louisville, Ky., was one of desperation. He was headed four hours west on Interstate 64 to interview for a job. Even if he landed the position, filling his gas tank had left him with $8 to his name. He would have to sleep at a friends place until he could earn enough to pay rent.

The 23-year-old had run out of options. Hed applied for dozens of jobs within an hour and a half of his hometown of Lovely, once a coal-mining stronghold. Instead of opportunities, he had found waiting lists.

Minimum-wage jobs, fast-food restaurants, Wal-Mart, anything like that, a lot of them has already been took, he says in an Appalachian drawl, explaining that the backlog just to interview was as long as a year. There are no jobs.

Moores story paints an extreme picture of how an economic environment can create a vicious circle of joblessness. While he is an imperfect job candidate, his flaws were molded by his upbringing in Martin County, Ky. and neighboring Mingo County, W. Va.

Moore takes advice from Therese Carew, a nun and counselor

His problems started in earnest in 2014. He had been living on his own for several years, having moved out at 18 after dropping out of high school, obtaining his GED, and going to work in security at a coal company. Moore is gay in an intensely conservative region, and he said he left school because of bullying.

Moore lost his job in late 2013 after smoking marijuana and failing a drug test. Though he found temporary work as a remote customer service representative, he lost that one when his mother died of a drug overdose in 2014 and he had to plan her funeral.

Deeply depressed and unemployed, he moved into an old Airstream camper propped on cinder blocks behind his fathers house, at the entrance to the litter-strewn trailer park that the older man owns in the misty hills of Lovely. There, surrounded by long-unemployed neighbors and rampant drug use, Moore began to abuse his medical prescriptions. I guess I used it as my crutch, in a way, he says.

Moore began getting in fights while drugged and was arrested twice. When he landed in jail for several months, he realized things needed to change. He graduated from a rehabilitation program in September, one year, one month, and 15 days after that last altercation. Since then, hes deepened his friendship with Sister Therese Carew, a Catholic nun who ministers to the region, and dedicated his time to job seeking.

Opportunities are few. Coal mines have been closing, and theyve taken most other businesses with them.

To employers outside the area, the fact that Moore is neatly groomed, soft-spoken, and polite cant mask his history. Whats more, hes the first to admit that the math skills he learned in the local public schoolswhere only eight in 10 students graduatearent up to par, and his speaking patterns are colored by regional grammar.

His situation is difficult, but Moore has found a reason to hope.

Coal work, once a mainstay, has become scarce in Appalachia

He didnt get the job for which he made that 240-mile (386-kilometer) drive, but he dropped in to his old rehab center on the way home. When he explained his predicament, the director of operations told him that he could come back until he gets on his feet. The group has found a job for him in plastics manufacturing that could turn full-time after a 30-day probation period. The position is enabling him to pay $100 a week in rent. Its a chance to build an employment record as he fights to have his record expunged.

Still, moving out requires a tough tradeoff: Moore would have preferred to stay close to home, because his family is still in Kentucky and his father is in his seventies. And the job probably isnt a pathway to wealth and ease. But what Moore wants most is mere self-sufficiency.

A simple lifestyle, but being able to have work: I aint got to have nothing exquisite, he says.

David Wolf wears his journey through drugs and crime on his arm.

Branded as Untouchable by a Felony Rap

These days, David Wolf doesnt allow himself to get excited by the news of a job offer. Most get rescinded within days. Its happened at least a hundred times, he said.

In 2012, Wolf was convicted of faking a name and Social Security number to get prescription painkillers. Now the 40-year-old father of three and former Marine, who has an associates degree from St. Petersburg College, has struggled to find employment. He’s received so many retracted offers that hes lost count.

I get more interviews that I can shake my stick at, but again, it always comes back around to the denominator of being a felon, Wolf says from his small, one-level ranch house in a Tampa, Fla., suburb, where religious imagery and family photos decorate his walls. For many, many years, I pretty much got whatever job I wanted. I was able to do anything I felt like doing. Its really been a humbling experience

Wolf researches employment options at a career center in New Port Richey, Fla

Wolf, whose chaotic life before he got clean included several domestic battery and drug-related charges, is one of the more than a half-million people who are released from U.S. federal and state prison every year. The influx occurs as the nation comes out of a decades-long war on illegal drugs. Implementation of stricter laws and tougher enforcement that led to a mushrooming of incarcerations and a booming ex-offender population. Before his identity theft conviction five years ago, Wolf held several jobs in sales and marketing, managed a call center, and served as a recruiter for the U.S. Marines. Since, he and his family have since lived off food stamps and cash assistance.

They wouldnt even hire me to sell Christmas trees at a Home Depot through an employment agency, he says. A lot of times the hiring managers feel like they have their hands tied, due to company policy. Its something that really needs to change. Not only can I not get a job, but I cant get a job with a living wage for my family. I have three children. I have a wife. Im not a bad guy.

Wolf shares his home with his second wife, his toddler, and a cat he gently picks up every time it scurries into the living room. Nearly half of U.S. children now have at least one parent with a criminal record.

A Corinthians verse, Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails, decorates a sofa cushion. Outside his living room window, children gather by a school bus stop as the morning fog lifts in the modest neighborhood of Holiday, Fla.

Less than a 10-minute drive away, he spends his free time volunteering at a Mormon church, where he also gets career training. A workshop book, The Lord Would Want You to Be Successful, rests on his living-rooms desk. Men with criminal records now account for about 34 percent of nonworking men aged from 25 and 54 years old, otherwise known as prime working age.

Family photographs on the piano at Wolfs home in Holiday, Fla.

Myself and many other felons, and were facing demons, downtime isnt a good thing, he says. Almost half of released inmates are arrested again within eight years, either for new offenses or for violating the conditions of their release. Were getting food stamps and cash assistance. We dont like being on it. But the society that looks down on those receiving assistance is the same society that wont hire me, and the same society that judges criminals when they reoffend.

He had the word forgiven inked on his forearm after a stint in rehab. On the worst days of his addiction, which started following a car crash more than a decade ago, Wolf remembers taking as many as 40 pills in one day. OxyContin, Percocet, and Vicodin were his usual ones.

It affected me, seeing guys that have sentences of 20, 30 years. This is a vicious, vicious circle, and were not going anywhere.

Leroy Moore, one of almost 9 million Americans who receive disability insurance, spends nearly half of his monthly check on his apartment.

[dryherbvaporizerreview]

Leonardo Dicaprio Vaping In Public, a Must See 2017

Vaping has been quickly making an entrance into mainstream media. There are people on both sides that are arguing about the benefits and the consequences of using vaping. Mothers, fathers, and doctors have voiced concerns about the dangers of vaping and the potential impact on vaper's health and those around them. With such a hot button topic it is surprising to see actors taking part in the vaping community. This action may help vaping become less taboo and more widely accepted.

Knowledge about vaping is often scarce among those that oppose it. To have celebrities vaping openly may have a positive effect on the vaping community. People may be more apt to find out more about vaping before they pass judgment. Or they will at least know that vaping is present in a social circles.

Many people enjoy finding out that celebrities still do the same things as everyone else. There is a whole industry built around capturing celebrities enjoying their everyday lives. They still have to go buy groceries, they like to take strolls around the town, and sometimes they even leave the house looking less than perfect without makeup or expensive clothes.

As vaping goes there are more celebrities that have been seen vaping. However, most have a more than polite amount that they vape in public. It is still too controversial for many celebrities to openly support vaping.

Leonardo Dicaprio does not care about public perception of vaping.

Leonardo has paved the way for other celebrities to embrace vaping. It has allowed others to feel more comfortable being caught vaping in public. As celebrities go Leonardo is definitely the more open and does not care what the tabloids are saying.

Quick Navigation

In Fair New York City We Lay Our Scene

Just the Tip of The Iceberg

The Man in the Vape Cloud

The Revolutionary Road to Vaping

In Fair New York City We Lay Our Scene

Vaping has been around a lot longer than the controversy that has bubbled up. Leonardo began vaping as the vaping community started to really explode. He was dedicated to vaping and it became obvious when he was dining at Rao. Rao is a opulent restaurant that is located in New York City. While eating Leonardo was seen using an e-cigarette without any remorse for anyone else in attendance.

After this incident it was easier to find a picture of Leonardo with the e-cig than without. He took it everywhere with him much like the rest of us in the vaping community. It did not matter where he was. He would use it while dining with friends, at his home, walking around town, and even while filming. It was clear that he was dedicated to vaping and he did not care who knew.

This willingness to show people that he was a vaper is what pushed other celebrities to join in the movement. Not only a few celebrities joined him. They joined in droves.

Just the Tip of The Iceberg

When celebrities first started to turn toward vaping the e-cig was the popular choice. Many were just starting to dive into the vaping scene. Not Leo. While everyone was just starting to understand vaping he was moving on to something better than the e-cig he had been seen with so consistently.

The eGo-style pen devices were the forefront of vaping and Leonardo was right there. He upgraded to the clearomizer and opted for variable voltage. While other celebrities were just learning about vaping Leonardo was embracing the new technology.

Paired with this new technology Leo was still seen everywhere vaping. People were growing accustomed to seeing Leo with his vape pen wherever he went. He had gone as far as vaping on red carpet events. He allowed his vaping device to be in a full view all the time and was not shy about vaping when he wanted to.

With the new vaping device in tow he was photographed vaping at every event. More attention was brought to the vaping community as he flaunted his superior device compared to the older technology many people were using.

Leo was not one to share his vaping pen. He valued his advanced set up so much he would deny other celebrities the chance to use it themselves. Miley Cyrus had been denied by Leo at a after party for Saturday Night Live. It was something that she spoke about with Jimmy Fallon soon after.

The Man in the Vape Cloud

By last year vaping was not uncommon in Hollywood. It was easy to find A-listers that enjoyed vaping. None more than Leo of course. Other big name celebrities like Johnny Depp and Katy Perry were public with their vape pens. It seems like many celebrities had decided that vape pens were the way to go.

Leo disagreed. As he had always been at the forefront of vaping technology he continues to update his vaping repertoire. The 2016 Screen Actors Guild awards show was introduce to the world of a mod/tank vaping device. Leo used his combo device while he was at a packed table.

There was vapor galore at the table. Even though it could be considered impolite to vape with such a large vapor cloud in a crowded area there were no complaints for his companions at the table.

There were some people that were more up in arms about the situation. This event was heavily covered and the new of Leo vaping without remorse was all over social media. Everyone had something to say about his actions at the awards show.

There were many people that were angry that Leo would dare vape so publicly. Doctors and parents threw their opinion's around about what vaping could do to those around him. They argued against him being able to choose when he wanted to vape.

Then the organizers of many award shows joined in the conversation. With such a public outcry against vaping they found themselves with little choice. They declared that vaping was not allowed at their events. The Oscars was an award show announced that people in attendance to the show were not allowed to vape.

At this point Leo was under attack from many angles for his vaping habit. There were fans, parents, doctors, and organizers of award shows that were criticizing him. This could have been the end of a long term relationship between Leo and his vaping devices.

Leo did not stop vaping. Instead he continued to vape as he had done before. He allowed vaping to continue to be part of his life even under media scrutiny. With such dedication the vaping community is gaining more awareness and will hopefully be able to gain more acceptance as well.

The Revolutionary Road to Vaping

Vaping is very common. Whether you are a celebrity or a regular guy on the street it is likely you know someone that is vaping. People are more aware that vaping exists. There are people who are completely against vaping and there are also a lot of support in the vaping community.

Many celebrities have been less shy about vaping in the view of the public. There is less concern about the damage it may do to your image as a celebrity. There are big name celebrities like Simon Cowell and Jack Nicholson who are no longer keeping their vaping under the radar.

There celebrities have started the conversation about the benefits of vaping. They were known smokers and have turned to vaping to help them curb their habit. This process has been praised by them as a better option than smoking.

Without Leo the vaping community may not have become such a prominent presence in Hollywood. Leo has used vaping to stop his cigarette usage and it has encouraged other people to better themselves as well.

While Leo is not out selling vaping to the world he has become an icon for vaping in Hollywood. This was probably not his intention when he first started this in Rao so many years ago but he has certainly shed some light on the benefits of vaping. Leo has paved the way for celebrities to feel less pressured to conform to what the media deems acceptable.

Even though paying attention to celebrities lives seem unimportant it is part of our daily lives. Even if you try to shy away from the media it is all around us. Magazines with headlines litter the shelves at the grocery store, social media sites have posts about the hottest trends, and people just like talking about it.

People like to gossip. The more scandalous the better. Leo and vaping has been and will be part of many conversations based in “scandal”. Negative attention to vaping may not help people who already dislike the idea of vaping. However, the attention may allow people who are interested in vaping to learn more.

By seeing A-listers as part of the vaping community people may feel more comfortable in trying vaping. Especially to help them curb a smoking habit. All of the light shining on vaping devices can only help people learn more about what benefits vaping can bring.

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