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blazerina · 4 years

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Ethically Questionable // Open Heart AU // Chapter 1

Miami Heat // Ethan x Maggie (MC)

Word Count: 4458

A/N: This is chapter one of our Ethically Questionable AU that @parkerattano & I dreamt up late one evening. I literally thought I dreamt the conversation when I talked with her about it the next morning. Check out the moodboard below that she put together – isn’t she amazing? Mad props to her because all of this is pretty much her idea, I’m just putting a few words out there to help everyone else get to experience this amazing HC of hers. There is plenty more to come and we are just getting started with the drama. We’ve hyped it up a lot because we are Tumblr besties and super excited but we really do think you’ll enjoy the ride too!

Check out our hype posts HERE, & HERE.

Let us know what you think – chapter two will be coming soon!

EQ AU tag list: @mvalentine / @choicesobsessedd / @dulcehernandez / @missmiimiie / @edgiestwinter / @junehiratas / @binny1985 / @datynasuha / @unluckygs / @trinittyy / @lilyvalentine / @honeyandsunfl0wers / @lucy-268 / @choices-love-affair / @parkerattano / @queencarb / @custaroonie / @mkamra2355 / @humanpokemon / @ramseysno1rookie /@unknowntimelady / @myusualnerdyself / @schnitzelbutterfinger / @mvalentine / @jasminedayz / @thanialis / @tefigranger / @kenzierookie / @justanotherrookie / @keepcreativechoices / @heauxplesslydevoted / @ethandaddyramsey / @kaavyaethanramsey / @sherlockedmcu / @edith-eggs1 / @noboundariesplease / @edgiestwinter / @danysims4cc / @tempesreture / @unusualvisionsblog / @chasingrobbie / @mapipa / @lifeof-liv / @3riche-blog / @anonymous2094 / @annaidziaszczyk / @ntoraplayschoices / @jessirosebud / @mskinkyafro / @caseyvalentineramsey /@desmaranj / @trappedinfandoms / @lucy-268 /

*If you asked to be on my Ethan tag list, I just added you here -- but let me know if you wish to be removed! Or added in that case!*

“A world-renowned doctor at a top hospital thinks you’re the best intern. Most people would kill to be you.”

Bryce’s words from yesterday echoed loudly in Maggie’s head as she stared out the window of the plane on the way to Miami. She could hardly contain her excitement. He thinks I’m the best intern…she thought to herself as she replayed her conversation with Bryce for the thousandth time. Dr. Ramsey had chosen her. That meant he saw something in her. To him, she was already special. Now, she just needed to capitalize on it.

On the outside, of course, she was trying to present herself to Dr. Ramsey as a polished, professional, put-together intern – but on the inside she was bubbling over with enthusiasm for this quick two-day trip.

Maggie truly felt like the luckiest girl in the world. This hard-working, smart-mouthed kid from upstate New York was selected by her mentor and current crush, Dr. Ethan Ramsey. He had been the whole reason she wanted to become a doctor in the first place. In her freshman AP Biology class when her teacher, Mrs. Hart, asked the class to read one of his journal articles for extra-credit, she Googled him immediately, wanting to digest as much information about him as possible.

Her friends would tease her about the fact that instead of teen heartthrob pictures posted on the inside of her locker, she had medical journal titles and Dr. Ramsey quotes. No one understood her high esteem and true admiration for him. She was confident when she applied to medical school that she would be competitive at Edenbrook, but she felt even more confident as of late. Now that she was number one and Dr. Ramsey’s clear favorite, everything was right in her world. The only thing that would make it better would be a searing gaze, a brush of his fingertips, hearing Dr. Ramsey call her by name and not “Valentine” or “Rookie…”

She was daydreaming again as she watched the snow-white clouds dance along the deep blue sky. The plane was about 30 minutes from landing. She was able to finally admit to herself that she had butterflies in her stomach. Could it be true that she had caught Dr. Ramsey looking at her differently lately? Had he actually started to smile a bit when he saw her for rounds every morning? Could it be that she was impressing him not only with her intellect but with her physical assets too? Is there any chance he could, maybe be, attracted to her?

Maggie’s imagination got carried away, thinking about this conference. She’d at least get to share a meal or two with him, maybe there would be a chance for them to get dressed up. Maggie planned ahead and brought a killer dress for just that kind of opportunity. She would make sure Dr. Ramsey got to see even more of her, um, “assets” and she’d get to see what makes him tick outside of the stuffy hospital. They’d dance alone on the beach; he’d declare his never-ending love for her and then at sunset they’d kiss…

“Aaahhh!” she let out a soft cry of surprise as the plane suddenly lurched up and down. Maggie reached for the armrest to clutch it tightly, forgetting that Dr. Ramsey was seated next to her, and his hand was already occupying the space between them.

In an instant her hand grasped his as her eyes grew wide, not because of the turbulence but because of the feel of his skin on hers. Something she had only dreamed about up until this very moment.

He had been reading and with his free hand removed his glasses, staring at her with a questioning look upon his face.

“Maggie.” He stated, matter-of-factly, but Maggie swore he said it breathlessly.

“Maggie.” He repeated.

“Yes, Dr. Ramsey?” She looked deep into his eyes now, hoping her longing and desire for him was evident in her eyes too.

“May I have my hand back, please?”

She immediately released her hold and smiled sheepishly. The Ethan Ramsey smirk appeared on his face briefly as she pulled her hand away.

“Of course.”

When he spoke to her, she hung on his every word, no matter what it was he was saying. However, Maggie had learned by now to keep her answers short and to the point.

“Thank you again for asking me to accompany you on this trip, Dr. Ramsey. It’s my first large conference and I know we’re going to have a wonderful time! I’m thankful, truly, I am.” She smiled, trying to make things less awkward.

“Yes, yes. So you’ve said. No less than a dozen times now. And as I have said before, don’t thank me, just do what you’re told. This is a work trip not a vacation. You’d do well to remember that fact, Dr. Valentine.”

The way he slowly emphasized Dr. Valentine sent shivers down Maggie’s spine. Did he know what he was doing to her? It was little lines like this, where the tone and pace of his voice changed, that made her think – no, believe – that he was indeed beginning to develop feelings for her.

Maggie nodded and returned her gaze to the window as he pulled his hand off the armrest. He cleared his throat as he settled back into the chair, recoiling a bit and trying to focus again on his reading material. Soon they’d be on land once more. If Maggie wanted any semblance of a decent relationship with Dr. Ramsey, she’d have to take advantage of opportunities to remind him that she wasn’t just THE number one intern. She was HIS number one intern. She decided for now to keep her mouth shut and continue to stare at the sky. It was safer that way.

When she had to tell Dr. Ramsey that they messed up on the reservations and only had one room for the two of them to share, she delivered the news matter-of-factly as if she was sharing the status of a broken arm or an appendicitis diagnosis. There was no flare, no pomp and circumstance, just the facts.

She was looking forward to it and would make sure Dr. Ramsey didn’t regret it, but she knew that she had to present her case clearly and without emotion in order to keep anything from changing too much.

“They only have reservations under your name. One room. We’ll have to share.”

Maggie was quite pleased with herself and the way she tackled what could have been a nightmare situation.

“Morons. Can no one do anything right?” He clenched his fist and his jaw while simultaneously rolling his eyes.

“I promise I don’t snore…” Maggie offered, trying to lighten the mood that had suddenly become very tense.

“I just don’t like the way it looks.” He explained with a heavy sigh, “But, we’ll have to make it work.”

They took their luggage up to the room. As they entered, Maggie did her best to keep the amount of awe she felt, to a minimum as she took in the sight of the beautiful balcony and the scenic view of the ocean and beach below. She immediately went out to look over it all. It wasn’t until Dr. Ramsey called her back in that she realized there really was only one bed.

“We need to go speak with some vendors and make the rounds on the exhibition floor.” Dr. Ramsey explained, checking his watch.

“Sounds fun!” Maggie smiled as she clasped her hands together, clearly delighted.

“You are woefully misinformed. Nothing about this is fun, Rookie.”

“There’s a first time for everything, Dr. Ramsey.”

“Meaning?”

“Maybe you’ll actually have fun this time because you’re with me.”

Maggie tried to be subtle in her tone but gave him a wink and then smiled through one side of her mouth as she boldly approached him and looped her arm under his.

She gently pushed him alongside her to the door of their hotel room.

“I should have asked Harper to pay for an assistant instead of bringing you…don’t get any ideas.” He raised an eyebrow and down on her with mock disdain.

The energy between them had shifted now and as he looked at her with mischief in his eyes, she wanted to reach up right then, snake her arms around his neck and toss him on the bed. The expo vendors be damned! But she swallowed those thoughts away and promised him she wouldn’t.

“I’ll be on my best behavior…for now.”

Maggie offered, followed by a throaty chuckle that made Dr. Ramsey stop in his tracks.

He turned sharply to look at his reflection in the full-length mirror near the door of their room. Maggie studied him as he studied himself.

The hair. Those eyes. His lips. Everything about this man was sexy. It didn’t matter that he was 10 plus years older than her. His brain, his body, all of him was exactly what she wanted.

There were so many rumors about what Dr. Ramsey was really like. People said he was vain, arrogant, selfish, rude and cocky as hell. But she had yet to really see that side of him. Sure, he was particular and liked things done a certain way, but it was all for the good of the hospital, the patients and his team. He had a right to be that way, he’d earned it. He was after all, the Doctor Ethan Ramsey.

Those three words had rattled around in her brain for years. Doctor. Ethan. Ramsey. He was everything she hoped to be and also everything she wanted at the same time. He was standing right in front of her; she still felt at times as though she should pinch herself. It was truly a dream come true to be able to be in the presence of her mentor day after day.

“Like what you see Rookie? Let’s go.” He ushered her out the door and she nodded in agreement while biting her lip, wondering just where the rest of this day and this trip would lead them.

Dr. Ramsey and Maggie were able to spend some time both together and apart in the vendor area of the exhibit hall. The bright white lights pierced Maggie’s eyes and started to give her a headache. She went from booth to booth listening to people as they peddled their latest technology to either aid in surgeries, help make diagnoses or, some would claim, cure the rarest sicknesses. Maggie was surprised at the wide range of options being offered and just how far these companies and salespeople would go to try and get her, a lowly intern, to agree to use their product. She was actually glad that she didn’t have the power or authority to tie Edenbrook to some of these companies. It was overwhelming to say the least.

Maggie found Dr. Ramsey waiting for her at their predetermined location. They split up for a little bit to “make the rounds” and decided to meet back up after about 45 minutes out on the floor. She was desperately trying to keep a headache at bay but must have been showing signs of fatigue on her face.

“Are you all right?” Dr. Ramsey asked, appearing genuinely concerned.

She nodded slowly and smiled, wanting to appear strong and capable at all times, but especially in front of him.

“Oh yes, just a slight headache is all. Once I get some water and a couple ibuprofen, I’ll be fine.”

“Let’s get out of here. We need you feeling better before the reception this evening.”

“Reception?” Maggie questioned.

Before she could ask more questions, she was interrupted by a strikingly beautiful blonde who approached Dr. Ramsey from behind, placing a hand on his shoulder. It didn’t take long for Maggie to realize she was watching something very intriguing unfold right before her eyes.

“Isabelle?” Dr. Ramsey’s eyes grew wide, turning around and enveloping the mystery woman in a hug.

A long hug.

A hug that lasted for what felt like five minutes.

Maggie felt a sudden pang of jealousy. Dr. Ramsey clearly knew this woman. She was beautiful and he seemed happy to see her.

“It’s been a long time.”

Isabelle, as he called her, responded in a more abrupt manner than Maggie expected. She noticed her body language and was immediately confused. Isabelle’s arms were crossed in front of her chest and she seemed less than pleased with Dr. Ramsey’s greeting.

“Yes, it has. Too long, Ethan, if you ask me.”

“How long has it been, exactly?”

Maggie assumed Dr. Ramsey was trying this hardest to be charming. He was smiling not only with his mouth but with his eyes. She couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as though his eyes were also travelling the length of Isabelle’s body as they exchanged words.

“I believe it was last year’s conference. Don’t tell me you don’t remember.”

Isabelle purred like a luxurious cat, still looking a bit stand-offish, but clearly remembering or feeling something for Maggie’s beloved mentor.

“Oh, I remember…things just get busy and life takes over once we’re off conference time, you know.”

“I had heard a lot about you before…that night…” Isabelle leaned in, closer to him, the last few words barely above a whisper.

Maggie was feeling more than awkward in this moment. She was torn between wanting to distract herself and also wanting to hear every bit of this exchange. This was juicy information and she needed to know who the heck this woman was and what history she had with Dr. Ramsey.

After letting out a loud and uncomfortable laugh, Ethan focused again on Isabelle and took her hand in his.

“I suppose I should be flattered. Usually at these things people either hate me or want something from me.”

“Well I was definitely one of the many women who wanted something from you. And there are plenty more who would want something from you too...”

At this point, Maggie noticed Isabelle’s eyes wandering to where she was standing. The two women made eye contact while Maggie shifted uncontrollably.

Dr. Ramsey came to her rescue, swooping in beside Maggie and introducing her.

“Ah yes, Dr. Isabelle Crane, this is Dr. Maggie Valentine. Edenbrook’s finest intern, ranked number one currently. She’s accompanied me to the symposium this year.”

“And I do mean finest…” He whispered quickly and breathlessly into Maggie’s ear as she reached forward to extend her hand to Isabelle.

She wanted to do a double take; her mind not completely sure she had heard Dr. Ramsey correctly. Instead she focused on the woman in front of her, hoping this exchange would end quickly.

Isabelle looked Maggie up and down then licked her lips and smiled deviously. Her eyes flicked from the doctor back to the intern. Maggie could almost see the wheels turning in this Isabelle woman’s head – she didn’t mind where she thought it was going but found it to be a little unprofessional.

“Well,” Isabelle cleared he throat, again her eyes playing ping pong between the two doctors. “Let me offer you this word of advice, number one intern...”

Maggie swallowed hard, her eyes locking with Isabelle’s. She was suddenly very afraid of what Isabelle was going to say next.

“Take great care to not let this one get away. It’s been my experience that once he’s out of sight, you’re out of mind.”

Isabelle was terse and made it beyond clear that she was unhappy with Dr. Ramsey’s behavior. Maggie wasn’t sure she wanted to know exactly what went on between the two of them, but she was astute enough to get the gist. She watched, keeping her composure, as Isabelle spun on her heel and quickly exited.

Wanting to break the ice and let her mentor know she wasn’t the least bit phased by anything, Maggie was the first to speak.

“I think I’ll go get that ibuprofen now.”

Dr. Ramsey was scratching the back of his neck, his head hung low. He looked up at her with a sheepish grin.

“Yeah. Good idea.”

By the time Dr. Ramsey returned to the room, Maggie was in the shower. She had laid out her dress for the evening, hoping it was right for the occasion. The last thing she wanted was to be too dressed up or not dressed up enough. She was well aware of who she was with and she did not want to disappoint him in any way.

It wasn’t long before she heard Dr. Ramsey’s voice call out over the noise of the water. She knew he was back in the room when she heard the loud hotel door slam close. Thankfully there was no way he could enter the bathroom, as she had thought ahead and locked it. She already had her fill of awkward encounters for the day.

“Maggie?”

She swallowed hard, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink. She could feel her neck and chest flush a little bit upon the realization that the only thing between her naked body and Dr. Ethan Ramsey was a flimsy hotel wall. And what’s more, he knew it too, and still chose to engage with her. Trying her best not to come across too hopeful or excited, she casually responded.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for all that back there…I know you may…uh…have some questions but she’s…”

Maggie cut him off, not wanting or needing an explanation.

“It’s fine, Dr. Ramsey. Really!”

She began to wash her hair, biting her lip and closing her eyes wondering where this conversation would go next.

“I know you might need the shower, so I’ll be fast. I’m just finishing up!” She lied.

“Oh, um, okay. No rush.”

Maggie noticed his voice had gotten lower and a little more raspy with that response. Could it be possible that he was thinking the same thing she was? There was no way he wasn’t thinking about her being in the shower as he spoke with her WHILE SHE WAS IN THE SHOWER.

“How’s your head?” He asked plainly.

Maggie had now put her head under the water to rinse. “Oh, it’s much better, thank you.”

“Is this – this dress here on the bed, is this what you’re wearing tonight?”

She cursed herself, unsure of his tone.

“I brought a lot of options. I wasn’t sure how fancy this was, and I can do something different if it’s not that kind of reception.”

She was finished with her shower now and had turned off the water, wrapping a towel around herself quickly. Her heart was beating fast indicating she was nervous, but her mind was fixed on him and she also felt daring. She wondered if it was possible to be both at the same time.

“It’s sufficient.” Dr. Ramsey responded in typical fashion.

With her hair dripping wet, she decided to go for it. He wasn’t stupid and neither was she. If anything, she could play it off like an honest mistake. But she wanted him. And she wanted him to know she wanted him. Coming out of the bathroom in just a towel would definitely send that message.

She opened the door and wasn’t prepared for him to be right there, but he was. Literally a few inches from her. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of his lips. She wished she had looked at his eyes instead, because she wanted to watch them and see where they travelled. Did he look her over like he had Isabelle?

Dr. Ramsey suddenly cleared his throat loudly.

“Rookie…” he almost whispered, finally locking his gaze onto hers.

“Only sufficient?” Maggie pouted.

She could feel a bead of water running from the end of her hair down her chest between her breasts and she held her composure perfectly as she watched her favorite teacher’s eyes follow the path of the drop.

“More than sufficient.”

And with that he stepped into the bathroom, leaving Maggie to finish getting ready.

The reception was everything Maggie dreamed it would be. She got to wear her fancy dress and drink champagne all with Dr. Ethan Ramsey on her arm. If she had the chance to go back to high-school-Maggie and tell herself that this would be her life, high-school-Maggie never in a million years would have believed her.

She was trying to take mental inventory of everything. Not just the amazing food and ambiance, but the way Dr. Ramsey looked in a tux, the way he had given his approval with a curt nod as she spun around for him in their hotel room, asking him if she “looked okay.” Maggie didn’t want this night to ever end.

The reception had been held by the pool at the resort and eventually, they had to shut it down. Maggie had convinced Dr. Ramsey to stay until the bitter end, even though she had her shoes off and could barely keep her eyes open, when the music stopped and people started picking up, she knew it was time to go.

The bartender was packing up and called out to the couple as they passed by.

“You all want this?” He held out a bottle of champagne.

“It’s already been paid for.”

“Of course it has.” Dr. Ramsey responded as Maggie reached out to grab the bottle.

“And of course we do!” She giggled a little, taking the bottle and wiggling her eyebrows.

Dr. Ramsey couldn’t even stifle a smile this time. Maggie thought that perhaps, despite himself, he had a good night with her and for a few moments, maybe he actually enjoyed himself.

Once the couple exited the elevators on the floor of their room, they walked down the long hallway to the very end where their suite was waiting. Occasionally Maggie’s hand would brush with Dr. Ramsey’s as he held the champagne bottle by his side. She could tell something had changed. There was a new electricity between them now. She hoped it wasn’t just the buzz from the multiple glasses of Prosecco she consumed.

“Maggie…” he trailed off just as they reached their room.

“I had a nice time tonight.”

She couldn’t find her voice as she was lost in his incredibly bright blue eyes. They were always piercing but, in this moment, they looked a more intense shade of blue than she had ever seen or noticed before. He stood there, watching her, and she waited for her own brain and mouth to connect in order to respond but nothing came out. She was only able to smile and nod.

The familiar heat spread again on her cheeks, her neck and chest. He opened the door slowly and went to gather more champagne flutes from the table outside on the balcony.

“It’s a beautiful evening and it’s not over yet. Let’s drink out here!” He called to her.

Maggie felt like she was floating. She took a deep breath, dropped her shoes on the floor, and followed him outside. The view was breathtaking, both him and the oceanside. He brought her a flute, held up his glass and looked at her as he spoke.

“A toast. To you. The marvelous Dr. Maggie Valentine. Cheers to surviving your first medical symposium and a day with me. You truly are the finest intern Edenbrook has ever…” he paused adding dramatic effect, “…ever had.”

“Dr. Ramsey – I don’t know what to say, I…” Maggie felt like crying she was so proud of herself and so glad he felt that way about her, but he cut her off.

“Ethan.”

She nodded, taking a drink.

“Please, call me Ethan.”

Ethan exhaled quickly, took a drink of champagne and then began to speak again. Maggie couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as though his voice was a little shaky as he started.

“I owe you an apology. I’ve been short and more cranky than normal as of late.” He moved to the railing, holding his glass with both hands and leaning over it.

Maggie almost interjected but decided against it. She wanted to see where this was going and what he would say next.

“This trip has been very difficult for me. And I don’t like to admit when I find things challenging or tough. I thought I could handle this. I thought it would be different. I’ve just never…”

“…felt like this before?” Maggie blurted it out without thinking. Her eyes grew wide, she covered her mouth with her free hand and spilled a little champagne in the process.

Ethan’s head turned slowly to face her. His smile turned into his trademark smirk and Maggie was done for.

“That’s it exactly, Maggie. I’ve tried. So hard…but this trip -- being together so much just us, one on one, and seeing you like this and being with you tonight, everything has just made it impossible.”

And there it was. Just like that he called her Maggie. She was now on a first name basis with Dr. – no – Ethan. Strangely, she was calm. Her pulse was normal, she was concentrating on him and him alone.

He quickly finished what remained in his glass and set it on the table, taking her free hand in his.

“I could say all of that, too.” She gulped.

Remembering she also had champagne, she took a sip and shivered as he ran his thumb lazily across her knuckles. The words continued to come out of her mouth before she could even think.

“I can’t even believe that right now, I’m me and you’re you and we’re standing here on this balcony looking at the ocean, all dressed up, together. Like actually together. And you’re holding my hand and I just…I’ve wanted this…with you…”

Ethan nodded and without saying a word, took her face in his hands and whispered, “And I want you.”

Maggie didn’t know what was happening anymore. She wasn’t sure if she moved in for the kiss or if he was going to do it anyway, but it didn’t matter. She was now officially in the arms of Dr. Ethan freaking Ramsey and she was going to enjoy it.

After a few moments the passion was intensifying between them both and Maggie took a quick step back, holding Ethan at arm’s length.

“What’s the matter? Is something wrong?”

“Not a thing.” She smiled, holding his gaze and looking at him fondly.

“I want to remember this. There’s not one second of this moment I want to ever forget.”

Ethan smiled and then moved closer to her, nuzzling her neck just below her ear and moving her towards the bed, where the two of them tangled themselves together for hours, enjoying their evening and each other long into the night.

#blazerina babbles #blazerina x parkerattano team up #ethically questionable #eq au #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #mc x ethan #tumblr will HATE me #open heart #open heart au

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lovebubblechoices · 5 years

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Out of curiosity

Hey guys!

Next Saturday, the whole Choices fandom will be giggling of joy and happiness with the long awaited return of our favorite doctor and the best crew of best friends ever. That being said, I’m curious to know what you are expecting in particular of this Book 2. This post will mainly be orientated Ethan/MC since he’s my LI.

As for me, I am expecting a lot of drama. I hope that we won’t be disappointed in any way… that would seriously s*ck! To be fair, it is kind of clear that we will discover a new MC - a more confident and bossy one as far as the own intern thing is concerned. At least that would be quite logical since MC saved Grand-Mentor as like to call Naveen. And I guess I also want to them insecure and jealous as far as Ethan J. Ramsey is concern (for those of us who are romancing him but… I’m pretty sure PB won’t make the difference and that MC is written all the same whether you romance him or not.) On that same level, I literally crave to see Ethan Jealous Ramsey cause of the new intern. I can’t wait for the witty piece of mind he will throw on the poor intern and MC for bad management. If this happen, I’m gonna cry litters of tears (tears of joy of course)

I hope that the storyline won’t be expected and dull. I mean they put so much effort in the first book… I would like very much to see a love triangle thingy situation BUT it has to be well written and meaningful. To cut it short, I’m so ready for another run of Slowburn. PB better makes it good… !! Other than that I don't have much to say, apart from I want a very well written and meaningfull sex scene - I do not care much about the location where it will happen. True, nonetheless I have my kinks but you know… I’m not complicated, I have simple tastes and as long as it is well written...

I hope that Aurora will have a Becca situation i.e. becomes a LI by the end of Book 2. If that’s the case, I’m already planning on reading OH 2 twice because I’m het but I must admit that Aurora is a very beautiful lady and if romancing her gives us the possibility to have an interesting backstory on her… I’m in!

NO REDEMPTION ARC FOR RAT and I can’t write it big enough : NO RAT. But a new one to hate for this new year is actually fine by me

BABY ETHAN AND ETHAN’S DOG : an obligation at this point to calm the frustration down.

More Sienna and Elijah gossiping (with Naveen’s), More Zaid and Ines (couple goals) I mean, LOOK. AT. THEM. Bryce flirting with everyone again like the scapel jokey he is. Rafael being the superman we discovered in Book 1 and Jackie, well… I didn’t like her much in the first installment of the series so I would like that to change for book 2. Also I’m pretty sure Harper will gain importance throughout the book - In a good or in a bad way I can’t tell but her lines are blurred as far as I’m concerned. Declan Nash with Rat in business maybe?

PRAYING FOR DR RAMSEY IN A TUX AGAIN

#open heart #OH #oh2 #choices #choices you play #ethan ramsey #mc x ethan ramsey #wishes

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celestialallstars · 5 years

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Episode #5: “Every party is a pitbull party when I'm around” - Chloe

Honestly? I hope Sharky understands that all of it clearly was gamewise. I didn't care about his level of activity, but I cared about my game and unfortunately he was not apart of it. Having that out of the way, I want to use this next immunity to have a little bit more control for my game!

omg sharky left im sad 2 pots back to back although my pots is always gonna be brian <3 but yaa this so sad i wanted him to stay but votes werent there hes prob pressed but also like not my fault he was not as active i mean mitch isnt either but if sharky talked more hed be here know that

Zzzzz classic celestial double tribal. I bet we swap again at 15 and keep 3 tribes. AM I WRONG ANNA? AM I???? I’m just praying we win bc I, again, really don’t want to have to choose between Michael and drew. It’s just not FAIR to send either of them home rn but even though I know I’m safe with this majority I still want to be immune, and just pray I don’t get fucked by a swap here. If I can hit merge, I’ll be in good shape I think. Just gotta get there

DONT STOP THE PARTY. Every party is a pitbull party when I'm around

Chris seems very loyal to me So to have Bryce and Chris not willing to turn against me is going to bode really well for my long-term game I don't mind booting Stephen if we lose but I think I might be able to keep him If it will be good for me to have the thing with Mitch and Stephen at merge But the thing is, Tuatha would have to win immunity for it to be worth it to keep Stephen Because if they lose then Mitch is going to go, and what use is Stephen without Mitch?

WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON PLAYING LIKE THEY CANT CLEAN AFTER THEMSELVES? Kori slips his alliances, Stephen leaks his alliances, Rhys and Jared want Stephen out while Stephen wants Mitch to be used to go for Bryce and Kori despite all of these people being in an alliance together, Michael is asking for my hand in marriage, Chloe feels hopeless like me, Zach himself is a mess, Loris an even bigger mess yet I like them, Drew probably is ready to puzzle me and Loris out the door, Jack and Alyssa are problematically beautiful, Bodhi is just here, and Mo is going to kill us all with kindness.

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So now I'm gonna see if I can save Stephen since him going can hurt me a little. It's becoming clear to me that Loris talks to Rhys or Jared or maybe even Stephen but honestly? If Stephen is only saying Bryce and Kori's name then why not keep him and make him THINK that everyone is not onto him and them save him for later? Honestly even use him to take a shot at Bryce and Kori if all of them wanna but to take him out now even despite his problematic ways seems short shortsighted...at least I'm gonna try to get them to feel that way! Itll start by convincing Jared to convince Rhys they should wait

So let's see it's about half an hour before the challenge is due. Sharky went home as was according to plan. 5-1 no surprises or anything. Immediately Anna slaps us in the face with her dick and we're face to face with a Double Tribal Challenge.

Would've probably done better if it was Sunday instead of Monday but unfortunately work got in the way and there really just isn't much I could do bout that. I'm HOPING we somehow pulled out a win. There's several elements where I'm thinking we probably got last but we also might've lucked out. To be quite honest, I'm not optimistic in the least. But I want to hold out hope that our luck will somehow turn out.

Everyone in this game is so good at challenges so it really takes some crazy stuff to pull things out. I also feel like I might be playing just slightly too relaxed on the social-strategic front, but there also hasn't been much to do other than try to maybe build bonds with people and try to be nice/likable. Most of the time when I'm at tribal the thing I want has tended to be the simplest and easiest thing to do for me.

Anyway, time to start my prayer to hopefully win this challenge and not get dicked by AnnaJane.

I'm kinda having this subtle realization that I'm in this alone. Which sounds obvious but like I don't know. As soon as I found out we lost I had this mindset of "Well just gotta hope the others choose to spare me." but bitch that's my fate I wanna choose what happens to it. So that's what I'm gonna try to do.

WE ARENT GOING TO THE DOUBLE TRIBAL BABY AND FOR THAT IM GRATEFUL. When I initially saw that the challenge was all flash games i was freaking. Im usually not the best at flash games, but i really stepped it up and won my portion of the challenge. I hope and think Jared and Stephen will be fine, so I am hoping we swap after this. If we dont, then it might be crazy if we go back to tribal. Loris wants to blindside Kori but idk if that is the best move for me.

So since we're one of the two tribes going to tribal we're currently in that phase of "fuck what do we do." and I'm gonna be honest its only a matter of who grabs the reins first and usually to see who is okay with said person driving. So I took it upon myself to grab those reins because if everyone's just sitting waiting I feel like my name has a chance of coming up. So instead of sitting and waiting for something that may not even happen, why not try to make something happen. So I threw out Stephen's name to Zach knowing that they have a "history" with the whole idol situation. Zach said he'd be fine with that, then I'm like going to Rhys like "Ok so it wasn't technically a name drop but I have heard Stephen's name" and Rhys was like "oh yeah I get that because he doesn't talk often." so I'm like yeah I'm thinking that too. This has such a high chance of turning around against me but if this does work I'm not gonna be able to do shit for a while without looking like a threat. Also if this does work I'm gonna feel like such a suave bitch, like oooh. Goat? Idk her... I'm gonna be eliminated.

God this fucking sucks. Real Sophie’s Choice moment here picking between Drew and Michael I don’t want to vote either of them out but also I’m not turning on Matt/Alyssa/Bodhi. Drew messaged me last night saying he didn’t want to go like this and it just killed me. I really don’t know what to do

Since we lost the challenge, campaign season has begun on Orfeo. The first 2 people I talked to were Jared and Zach. I suggested Mo as the easy vote since he's isolated original-tribewise and didn't perform well in the challenge, and Jared agreed immediately.

Zach was, in his own words, wishy-washy. I really don't like wishy-washy players at this stage of the game. It makes a bit more sense at merge or at the very beginning but if I'm gonna flip on Jared or Rhys at some point I want somewhere solid to land, Zach, Mo, and Chloe don't appear to be the players I'd want to make that jump with. They don't talk openly about game which makes it difficult to trust them.

Rhys also seemed okay with this plan but he was drunk last night so who knows LMAO. My conversations with Mo and Chloe were essentially meaningless. All I got from them was this deal that they'd tell me if I heard their name and likewise for them. Maybe they have an alternative and don't think they have to talk game with me. I do think I'm gonna try and play it safe for this vote and just push for voting Mo with Jared and Rhys. Hopefully the trust between us stays strong.

♪ I’m almost confident this will backfire and I will be eliminated~ ♪

So we lost this double tribal. Which low-key is probably good. Because were not gonna be on these tribes forever. So its good to cement some form of alliance from it.

It seems like its either Mo or Stepehen going tonight so that's good. There is pros and cons to both. Mo is from a different tribe and is more social to me. I feel like Mo wont be dis loyal so he would be a great ally. It would also show that I'm willing to work with other people moving forward, opening more doors. However in doing so, I may be closing a door on my old alliance of 5. So yes I am scared.

Right now I’m a bottom on the bottom so I’m gonna have to push it push it real good to flip some votes onto bodhi, I have a pretty good relationship with Alyssa and me and Matt have been in cahoots all game, but this is all stars and if I have to turn on Drew I’m not holding back I am not going home tonight, tomorrow or ever. I just can’t go!

youtube

So after I talked to Jared last night I proposed the big alliance idea to Zach without asserting I wanted it. Leaving it up in the air could make him less likely to think I'm pushing it. SO while that is going on, Jared filled me in on Rhys' anti-Steph brigade but it sounds like they may cave to voting Mo. ON TOP OF IT ALL, Kori and Bryce literally were saying they'd like a Tuatha-Orfeo alliance which coincidentally coincides with the big alliance? Huh. But if they're genuine then this has A LOT of potential.

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I do feel like I'm playing messy but I told myself I'd play a little different if it meant increasing my odds. I wont try getting too hopeful just yet. Now I've told Steph that BK wama have our tribes work together and this left Steph reiterating how it sets us up nicely that nobody suspects us. I truly feel people will suspect Loris/Steph before me/Steph but still I know me and him are close so if we can last long enough to play legit together, it will be amazing. Woooo go friends

so we r at tribal again, love that for us! 3rd one of the season, thus making all OG Cyrena having been to the most tribal councils. I did pretty poorly on the challenge, but as did multiple others its no big deal. I'm pretty shit at winning immunity anyway so its ok.

I feel like i am in a similar position as with last time i played. I'm clearly very weak socially (and admit it, ive been MUCH busier than i thought i was going to be since university has started) and have a tight 3 who all are like pretty close together, and have multiple advantages. So im being very loyal atm. just quieter than i would like. I find some of these ppl v.boring tho and you can tell some are just doing the rounds to keep face so they can't be accused of a bad social game LOL. Sharky also left last round which makes me SO sad UGH. MY ONE TRUE LOVE, KILLED TRAGICALLY BEFORE WE COULD BE REUNITED. Its like romeo and juliet, only with a gay and a straight and the gay got stoned to death by evil people. fucking RUDE.

This vote tho... its.... interesting. Maybe i WILL shove my head in the sand, get wildly drunk and just ignore everything that is going on. sounds much better tbh. I feel like a warrior ant, just being told what to do, no matter what is going on. Alyssa is genuinely looking out for me however, and wants bodhi gone as we still have 2 big shields due to the lovely meta game as both are known to be big players. Both will go along with it as well, as it saves their skin (drew and michael). Not sure how Jack is going to take it because i can't tell their connection together, mainly cause bodhi and I barely have one. and i think that is the issue. I don't know him well enough so i don't really care about him being voted off (its better tho tbh cause i genuinely like and care about michael and drew, lets be real matthew.) not sure if its a timezone thing or just my sheer laziness and lack of social game, i am unsure.

omfg im immune at double tribal. im coming 15th again tho. i hope not. idk. like. i think ill be fine even if we swap..... like. i think im good with quite a few people? despite the fact ive disappeared this week ok yeah that's true i think i'm wrong. we'll see :sob:

Do I want to keep Drew and Michael? Absolutely. Does that mean I'm okay with Bodhi going? Fuck no. Bodhi is loyal to me, Bodhi will not turn on me, Bodhi is not a threat to me. But Bodhi is threatening to Alyssa and Matt and they're my closest allies and they want to keep Drew and Michael and now we're blindsiding Bodhi because tribal lines DON'T FUCKING MATTER. I mean don't get me wrong, fuck tribal lines I'm so game to throw that shit in the fire but like, it's not the best move for me. Hopefully this bodes (bodhis haha punny) for me.

Ok now that I think about it going into a merge with less original numbers is actually good for us so maybe this isn't the worst. Idk I just feel bad I really wanted to work with Bodhi and now I basically have to cut him because it's majority on him either way and my allies don't trust him. Sucks man but it's allstars.

It's really next level that I am was able to

1. Keep the vote on Mo (Rhys campaigned against Stephen, and Bryce confirmed to me that Rhys wanted Stephen out) 2. Make Chris feel like he convinced me, and that I'm doing it for him and I, when mostly it's for me and partially for Bryce 3. Secure Zach's loyalty this round (calling with him and talking about game and non-game related things to re-establish our great rapport) 4. Keep Stephen in the dark about Rhys targeting him so that I can use that information for later

And this was all without much time on my hands.

Tribe Trust List 1. Chloe 2. Zach 3. Rhys 4. Stephen 5. Mo

Master Trust List 1. Bryce 2. Chris 3. Chloe 4. Mitch 5. Zach 6. Rhys 7. Stephen 8. Loris 9. Kori 10. Mo 11. Alyssa 12. Michael 13. Bodhi 14. Drew 15. Matt 16. Jack

god i hate this like no one ever wants to do what i want to do why do i have to be a brat every game. like its not like i want to its just ppl refuse to listen to what i want so yes ofc im gonna act out??? UGH

I guess I am about to find out if possible change is needed for my game or not moving forward. I can hope for a million things but all it takes is one to make it all hopeless

So some new information has come to me today. Chris has been approached by Kori with the idea of forming some kind of Tuatha/Orfeo Alliance. This is sort of what I wanted to do already but the fact that other people are proposing it is just great for me.

This just adds another reason to vote Mo out. He's original Cyrena and could become a part of a resistance to this group once merge hits. I'm personally pulling for this alliance to be made. It just brings me one step closer to the end and unites my major allies (Chris, Mitch, Jared, Kori) under a single flag.

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ANNNNNND There's been some drama on the old Orfeo tribe! Mo admitted to me that he's tried to vote me out, but due to the fact that people aren't talking to him, he now thinks the vote has switched to him, which is, hopefully, correct. If Mo had made a proposal like this to me right after we lost the challenge or before, I would've had to think about it, but as it stands, he's one person who has seriously thrown my name out there. I can't let that slide.

So, I devised a plan.

Step 1: Lie

How DARE Mo throw my name out there? I would never do something like that to him! Except I did, to everyone on the tribe, whoops. It's okay though, I lied and said Rhys did it, and I think he believed me.

Step 2: Join the resistance

Mo wants to get Rhys out, great. I'm happy it's not me. But that's a bad and unrealistic idea. SO I told him that in order to get a 3rd person willing to tie with us, we should target Chloe instead, and aim to recruit Jared.

Step 3: Recruitment

Now me and Mo are trying to recruit Jared one hour before tribal council. Except, not really. It's just Mo. I've told Jared about my plan to get Mo's vote off of me and he's in on it. Now, Jared can tell Mo the truth, or lie, and it doesn't really matter. Mo seems to feel too guilty to vote for me at this point. So mission accomplished.

Villains DO have more fun, don't they?

(I'm gonna look like such a dumb jackass if this plan doesn't work whoop, but oh well, I managed to fit one contrived plan into my time on All-Stars, so it's worth it!)

So right now I’m very nervous about this vote because even though people have said I’m safe I know bodhi is voting for me and he might just have an idol so like that’s my worry of getting idolled out lollll but uh I’m pretty worried about tonight so worried I might just throw my vote onto Drew and really protect myself and give me at least a little chance of staying due to an idol but who knows!

I think this is my last day which makes me incredibly sad. I feel like a failure if I’m being honest. There’s a slim chance I’ll stay. I had such a fun time playing.

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I was destined to be an early boot

Update:

So I can't use Rhys campaigning against Stephen this round as effectively.

Stephen knows his name was thrown out by Mo, because Mo TOLD him. Then Mo made a pitch to Stephen to work together, and Stephen told Mo that I might vote Chloe.

Long-story-short, it was just a ploy by Stephen to get Mo's vote off of him. I did a lil magic to make Stephen feel secure that I had his best intentions at heart, and I let Mo down easily that he is going home.

Mo was a fighter in this game and I give him all due respect. Now watch him idol me out ugh 16th looks cute on me

YAAASSSSS we woooooooonnn! I'm so happy to be avoiding this double tribal. If I can make merge at least that'd be a dream.

I had a conversation with Bryce and Chris and they don't seem opposed to doing a sort of pagonging of the Cyrenas because we talk with them the least. I'm not sure if that'll actually be an option come merge but if it is that'd definitely help me make it deeper in this game as a majority of my connections are my OG tribe barring Clohie, Chris, Loris, Drew, and Bodhi. Honestly if more OG Cyrena's like Matt, Alyssa, Jack, and Michael found themselves going this premerge I wouldn't complain.

I'm getting real tired of missing this idol system time window like a dolt though, I've no doubt I'm gonna pay for it later. But I also did win my game without idols so it's not like I HAVE to have them. It'd just be nice to shake things up since I did wanna play differently this time.

Anywho back to celebrating! Woooooooo~

WHY DOES MY TRIBE SUCK AT EVERYTHING....At least they're not voting me out this round. Matt tried to give me an "option" after an hour negotiation that Alyssa already said he was down for, but he wanted me to think it was coming from him. Isn't that adorable.

RIP Bodhi

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Bodhi and Mo are voted out in a double elimination.

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inrelentlesspursuit · 7 years

Text

2.) The Invitation

Lately, I’ve been getting quite a few wedding invitations. Friends from grade school, college, work; all of them sending me this fancy little card with some frilly paper inside. “Come join us in celebration, blah blah blah, we thank God for, yada yada yada, mark which food you want [X] STEAK [ ] CHICKEN [ ] VEGAN. It’s the idea of coming together to celebrate something; but the choice is yours if you want to come or not. Nothing stands in the balance besides the possible disappointment for the bride, groom, or your crazy ex that will be there wanting to show off her new man named Brad who is more fit than you, makes more money than you, and has more hair than you. As...tempting...as it may be to go, again, it is up to you.

However, most of the time, when we feel like God is showing us something new for our lives, or asking us to go somewhere, magically our “choice” kinda just goes *poof*. We think of Jonah and we’re like ,“Well, no matter what, God is going to get me there. God’s will is always accomplished so it doesn’t really matter; he’ll carry me kicking and screaming if he has to. See two footprints in the sand? We walked together. See one? He carried me. See a weird looking skid mark? He dragged me.”

On the contrary, I feel that on the road to God as Lover, he has simply invited us to come if we so please. I 100% believe that I can turn his offer down. Regardless of disappointment or anything of the kind, I can say “no” to this journey, and he will allow it. Why? Because when you seek relationship, when you seek marriage, when you seek intimacy, it is always an invitation that can be turned down, because without choice, how can there be love? It’s the same idea when it comes to our free will. Why didn’t God make it so we couldn’t sin, why didn’t he just make servants who always followed his commands? The answer lies in the nature of God as love. Love chooses. “Love is a verb”. We must choose to love God, others, and even ourselves.

Love is weird. It’s always messy (in good ways and bad). It’s never easy to understand and at times it is insanely hard. Anyone who has ever been in any kind of relationship (that means everyone) knows this. It is not easy being a son, husband, brother, friend, cousin, etc. They all have their various challenges and rewards, and they all require the engagement of our will. But enough with the philosophical tangent! Let’s get back to our steamy love affair.

As God began to put this question, this invitation, on my heart, I got the picture of Jesus standing at a door in my mind. He’s holding it open for me (a proper Gentleman he is) and his posture is one of “Would you care to come in?” As I look through this portal, I see a nature-filled scene. The trees, valley, sky, everything looks wild and untamed. Also, I see no path. This is wilderness at its finest. Immediately, I imagined what the door to God as Father or God as Friend would look like. Hills or mountainous scenes, but with a well-defined path, as if thousands upon thousands of people have walked the path before, stamping it down so the way is clear. It doesn’t mean the road is easy, but just often traveled. Think about how many books or sermons exist on “Father God”, or “Jesus our friend”, and you get the picture. It differs person to person based on their own experiences, but helpful books, sermons, or messages are easily accessible.

I look back to the door Jesus stands before and I gaze into that doorway. This valley looks incredibly beautiful, but extremely mysterious. There are little rabbit trails here and there, but nothing that looks like a “path”. I think to myself, “How in the world am I supposed to know where to go? Sure, there are tons of books on God is love, his love for us, etc. But I have never heard a sermon about God as our personal Lover. How is this going to work? We can’t even sing ‘When heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss’!” Yet before I know it, I am shocked to find myself walking towards the door. My mind is confused but my heart is literally driving me forward, as if it knows where it truly desires to go. And partly, I have porn to thank.

I had never struggled with porn until marriage (ironic isn’t it). What porn became was an every-so-often sort of hiccup when the going got bad. For me, it has never been about wanting someone else, or the girl, or anything like that. It was because my life felt so devoid of intimacy, if I could maybe watch something close, maybe I’ll feel better. Maybe by watching this fake intimate experience, I would feel like I had a tiny speck of the real thing. Of course, it never works that way, it’s always a sham.

A month or so back, before I had my official DTR (define the relationship) with God, while I was having a moment of weakness with porn, I remembered what my Dad had told me once. Invite Jesus into your sin. Ask him to be with you and show you something about yourself. Weird? Yeah, extremely. But I kinda said, “Shit, why not. I already know this isn’t right, might as well find out why I feel drawn to it.” So cameras rolling, I scooted over to make Jesus a seat and asked him if he wanted some popcorn.

Conversation went as such:

Soooooooo, why am I struggling with this?

“You tell me. What do you want out of this?”

I guess I want to know what intimacy looks like.

“And you’re telling me this is it?”

Absolutely not. I just feel like I’m dying. I haven’t felt wanted in a long time.

“Ahhhhh, so this isn’t about wanting to see intimacy, this is about not feeling wanted.”

...Yeah I guess...You know what yeah, you’re right. I want to feel pursued in a way. And this is close enough to dull it down for a moment I guess.

“So porn isn’t for you about having too much sexual frustration or something similar. This is your cry of wanting to feel cared for and pursued.”

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This is where I realized that something was beginning to work in my heart. I finally understood my “why”. If pain is the symptom of something going on in the body, porn was pointing to something going on in my heart, but until then, I did not understand what it was.

A few days later, I was thinking over what had happened and began another little chat:

Wow...ok yeah, I understand now. Even though it’s fake, it looks like this girl “wants” the guy, and she’s pursuing him in a way. And you’re right, I feel completely and totally undesired and unwanted. During the marriage, it never felt like I came first or what I wanted was important. I never felt pursued. And then the way it ended, with me being abandoned and rejected, just added to it. I thought that marriage would fix the loneliness that I’ve had for a long time, but it made it worse.

“That’s because you thought that a woman could fulfill your heart’s desire. You’ve thought that for 26 years now. You’ve pursued relationships to the ends of the earth, and you’ve never felt that you have been equally pursued or valued.”

...thanks for the kind words and memories Jesus...You must be a big hit at parties...

“Hahaha my love, the reason you have never felt fulfilled is because this entire time you have been trying to pursue me but haven’t realized it.”

What?

“In your humanness, the closest your mind could come to in the search for intimacy was a woman/marriage, which is ‘correct’ thinking in human terms. But I am the archetype of pursuit and intimacy. If you allow me to pursue you, you will never feel unwanted, undesired, or unappreciated.”

So you’re just telling me that if I pursue you more, you’ll pursue me more?

“No. Regardless of how you pursue me, I will always pursue you with my everything. I’ll pursue you so deeply and so vastly you will have no idea what to do with yourself. Bryce, your heart is one that loves to pursue, that loves to love. It’s a heart that I placed within you; but you pale in comparison to me. You’ve always said in your heart, ‘I wish this girl would pursue me as much as I am pursuing her’, but your heart is an ant compared to the Milky Way (and that’s putting it lightly) of mine.”

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Had I been able to see my heart at this point, I would have noticed that it was already slowly walking towards the door of the Lover without realizing it. Jesus says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” (Rev 3:20) Sound nice and Platonic right? Jesus is there knocking, saying, “Yo! I brought Little Caesars!” You run to the door, fist bump, and he comes on in for the big game. But another version of this passage is found in Song of Solomon. “A sound! My beloved is knocking. ‘Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night.’ I had put off my garment how could I put it on? I had bathed my feet; how could I soil them? My beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me.” (SoS 5:2-4)

This is the kind of invitation God offers us. He has invited you on a journey towards intimacy with him that outshines anything you might have imagined it could be. He stands at the door, a Lover, reaching his hand out in offering. The gentleness, the anticipation, the romance, all radiating off of him. His eyes filled with the intensity of his love towards you, a longing to woo you and make you entirely his. Walk through the door and enter the wildness of romance with the Lover. A week or so later, I stepped through that door in my relentless pursuit of passion and intimacy...

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