elpsycongruent · 1 month ago
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once again finding myself deeply tempted to hurl dog shit at cars that ignore stop signs
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sophfandoms53 · 5 months ago
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anyways i am very much still thinking about this,,, i have not moved and i will never move on
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girlwiththegreenhat · 3 months ago
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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,
one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him
the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?
and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.
he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...
and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.
and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.
#liz blogs#kr#knight rider#michael knight#kitt#robots#gay#this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball#michael x kitt#sure#knight rider spoilers#i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000#retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care#do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen#the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need#but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't#listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings#i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots#IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE#anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk#homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby#if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged#this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch
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misspoetree · 11 months ago
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[2/24]
❄❄ kp + text post advent calendar ❄❄
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moeblob · 6 months ago
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I unfortunately picked up Bravely Default 2 again (I bought it back when it released) and then started over since I last played it in June 2021. And. You know what. I like these silly beans. And then I saw concept art for Dag's expressions and I am not the same. Why did they decide to give him huge fangs in it.
(also I'm trying so hard to avoid spoilers less for plot but more for characters so if you know anything that happens to characters shhhhh. also the expression concept is below the read more so you can see what I mean.)
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#bravely default 2#dag rampage#selene noetic#i only just recently reached ch2 in the game and i may have a problem#someone was like wait how have you not gotten farther in 25 hours#and im like im sorry its a problem i have an obsession you dont understand#and then he found out i had three of the four party members with two jobs capped at 12#and then the fourth only had one capped but a bunch high up#and then i told him i was trying to get the gambler asterisk and that meant i had to play a childrens card game#and then i had to do side quests when they popped up#and he was like wait at that point you probably dont need jobs at 12 omg#and im like i know its a problem i cant stop it#so anyway chapter 1 took me forever because i committed to the grind too much#the emotions i feel for silly lil side characters ................ its too real#like even the fact that you beat these two up in the prologue im like teehee funny lil blonde guy#then you dont interact with them in a ch1 quest but they show up again at the same time doing the same quest#and guys i am FEELING EMOTIONS theyre just funny lil mercenaries doin funny lil mercenary things#also please do not tell me anything about the game past ch1 because i want to continue to enjoy experiencing it#which is why i have my ask box closed bc its a game from 2021 and i know im really behind the times#but i managed to not know anything until now and i wanna keep it that way#also i dont really know how to properly draw noses especially when i doodle#but his nose is important and i already struggle with his big jaw so i had to include it somehow#and in the concept art it looks like he has a lil stubble but in game i dont see it so im like ... squinting at he
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littleseasalt · 1 year ago
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insaneduo breathe if you agree
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rxkuyo · 3 months ago
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"Ahaha Daemon is so dumb for believing the old man is the one actively poisoning him when the weird goth witch giving him weird concoctions is right there."
May I introduce you to a beautiful concept known as sleep deprivation ? Man's only gotten poor quality sleep (if any at all) for weeks for all we know. Mood swings and paranoia are bound to go hand in hand with that one. Logical thinking ? Nope. Not happening. You add the fucking hallucinations further messing up his mind to the mix and you get exactly what we see.
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theradicalace · 28 days ago
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i just think it's so funny that when *i* lash out and start bitching *about* management to my coworkers because of a stressful day at work, i get pulled into the office to discuss my attitude, but when a manager lashes out and bitches *at me* because of a stressful work day, i get a halfassed "oh sorry, but-" and i'm expected to roll over and take it.
#ace rambles#negative//#boss prompted us to stop talking and keep it moving. okay sure whatever.#i lightheartedly asked what the rush was because we were almost done for the day#boss immediately snaps and starts yelling about how she's been busting her ass and hasn't gone to lunch yet#and she's ''not gonna watch four people stand and talk'' while she busts her ass#we were standing there for maybe thirty seconds. i didn't put you in that fucking situation girl#you're flying off the handle at the wrong guy#and i just know that if i had lashed out like that at her it would have at BEST been another ''conversation''#and more likely i would have been written up#i guess it's just another reminder that she's my boss. not my friend.#because if she were my FRIEND i would have been able to explain to her that that was incredibly hurtful#and that it really could have been just a minor issue at most#but i can't exactly look my boss in the eye and say ''hey you major overrracted and really hurt my feelings''#i've tried it with other managers and it doesn't end well#and look. i'm no stranger to getting frustrated and losing my cool.#it's a thing i'm actively trying to get better about but i'm big enough to admit that i have a long way to go.#the fact that she yelled at me isn't even what's bothering me#it's mostly the fact that i did not get a real apology and i really doubt i will.#and if i try and bring it up tomorrow or later then *i'm* going to look like the one who's overreacting and can't let it go#which tbh i probably maybe am?#i think i'm probably being stupid but i have a bad history with yelling and anger#which i don't need to get into you guys know the origin story already#whatever man#i want to cry but i'm in public still
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tiredassmage · 2 years ago
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Lensen Ryaldar - aka my “ah fuck, I’ve fallen in love with this absolute bastard and his devilish good looks anyway” (despite many poor and questionable decisions) collection, KOTET edition and in no particular order.
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fragmentedblade · 1 year ago
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She watches as the arrogant craftsman falls into mud, and walks up to him like a wraith. "I should kill you first... but you will have your own torment to bear for all eternity..."
So I was right. It was revenge
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ronanlynchbf · 1 year ago
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diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..
#well 'correctly gendering' they genuinely just saw me as Some Guy i think so automatically referred to me as he#anyway there are a group of usually four to five ppl at the train station nearest to me who stop u and talk to you about sj stuff and/or as#you to donate. so stuff like immigrant rights lgbtq+ rights the environment et cetera & they were eyeing me when i was approaching (to#potentially be stopped & talked to etc. i get stopped like. 80% of the time around there) but then turned back towards each other and said#something along the lines of 'oh this is so scary this is so hard he's so scary' and then didn't stop me to talk and literally as i walked#away (i was JUST past them some ppl rlly do not wait for someone to be out of earsight to tall abt them) one of them said 'his face looked#good (as in approachable & a potential Person To Converse With) but the rest of him....straight man. look at that blouse.'#the previous sentence loosely quoted but it was smth like that...........WTF DO U MEAN STRAIGHT MAN??? TAKE THAT BACK PLEASE I BEG 😭🙏#<<<<<< also they meant cis straight man specifically i'm pretty sure...which is the absolute worst part of that whole assumption.#ALSO what's wrong with my blouse.........#thanks 4 the gender euphoria though. much obliged 👍#double also i don't think i'm using this meme setup thingie in the way it is supposed to be used but it makes sense either way. to me.#TRIPLE ALSO we're just assuming that if someone is a straight man they immediately don't gaf about social justice stuff?? okay.....#i mean i get it but also big generalization. but also i get it. but also big generalization. anyway. in other news i found out my grandma#used to write my grandpa actual poems. like ACTUAL actual poems of the professional sort that she made up and wrote down herself to give#to him <3333#& more news though this one is not very surprising and in fact very predictable I AM SO SLEEPY TIRED. ZONK TOWN I'M COMING DON'T U WORRY❗❗#just need to read the newspaper (the mutuals' posts of 2day) and then i am going to bed IMMEDIATELY u best believe.
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luxrayz64 · 2 years ago
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I saw a post a while back responding to criticism of botw as being "a good game but not a good zelda game", and they responded with how the Zelda Formula was getting tired and stale and botw was a response to that, that it was meant to harken back to the original zelda game where it just drops you in and it makes you find everything on yr own. which like is fine and good and all but. you do know that the original zelda had 8 full unique (as unique as they could be on the nes) dungeons right. the original zelda game had dungeon items. they didn't need to take out one of zeldas defining gameplay aspects and replace it with the fundamentally inferior shrines and divine beasts. you can make a game non linear and refresh its gameplay without taking out one of the series' strongest aspects.
#I saw it ages ago and haven't really stopped thinking about it#there's no way you can ever try to tell me that shrines r superior to dungeons no way#shrines are short. dull. all use the same assets and same theming. theres no room to work on and develop concepts#some concepts r developed across multiple shrines but bc the order you find shrines in is different every time it still doesnt work#divine beasts r fucking disappointing. they're the actual dungeons but they're abt as long as a mini dungeon and as boring as the shrines#they at least have the set pieces of taking place on giant moving mechs going for them. but inside they're all the same#the bosses are visually all the same#you can make a good zelda game w only four dungeons majoras mask is RIGHT THERE. but mm also has sidequests and a strong story and#strong characters that aren't already dead that you actually give a shit about#romani ranch and the. I can't remember his name. kafe or whatever the fuck his quest was so interesting#the only quest botw has that comes anywhere near as close to it in quality is tarrey town and the actual GAMEPLAY side of that quest is-#just chop down trees and gather x amount of wood#like multiple people I know who played botw didn't even want to actually fight the final boss/only fought the final boss out of boredom#that's not good!!!! when people aren't invested enough in your story to even fucking beat it that's not a good sign!!!!!#mmmmm don't get me wrong. botw is a good game. it's fun to explore and traverse that world. its physics and chemistry systems r insane#but this is why people say it's a good game but not a good zelda game bro 😭 I want more than 2 types of dungeons#botw is a game im very conflicted on I think it's fascinating. but I've only played it thru fully once#anytime I try to come back to it it can never really regain my attention fully#some of that absolutely has to do with adhd but some of that also has to do with the fact that it's not a rewarding game to play-#for me after a certain point. I've seen everything there is to see and that's really the only compelling thing it offers#ocarina of time and twilight princess and majoras mask all offer me cool boss fights and compelling stories#THAT'S a reason to come back. botw I think I need another 5 years to forget everything about it before I can come back#that last point has more to do with me than an inherent problem with the game#... but it's still the only game in the series (that I've played) that has that problem#again. I like botw. it was phenomenal the first 200 hours. I hope tok is more like what I want from a zelda game though#need to stop putting the entire post in the tags goddamn#espeon cries
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slicksquid · 2 years ago
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I am once again pouring one out for the murder of glavenus’ theme
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archaeren · 4 months ago
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
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burningcomputerpersona · 11 days ago
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was getting a twelve pack of beer a bad idea? probably. am i enjoying it though? absolutely.
#im just glad i didn't end up getting the vodka like id originally been thinking#bc i would've ended up actually getting drunk on school nights#can't actually get drunk with beer bc i get full before i can drink enough to actually get drunk#but i am enjoying the feeling of killing brain cells by mixing it with benadryl#could this be the start of a bad habit? possibly#but im not too worried for now bc it's only beer#now if i start cooking barbiturates in the microwave ill know ive hit bottom#but ive got 4 more years to go so im saving that for later. preferably my last year#ive got a list of substances and a general timeline so i don't end up empty handed with another two years left to go#i hope this blog doesn't end up turning into a drug log over the next four years lol#well if thst happens ig i can just create a sideblog for my mental breakdowns#if folks have recommendations for stuff that might help im open to suggestions#well besides cigarettes bc i am currently fighting the urge to start smoking with everything i have in me#bc i know for a fact I'll get hooked right away and it'll ruin my life by making me light up a cig every few minutes#I'd be taking smoke breaks every hour between classes#I've only smoked like twice in my life and i cannot stop thinking abt how good it would feel to start smoking#just. its not even the nicotine it's just so easy to romanticize self destruction with cigarettes yknow#it feels like you're actually doing something. like it makes the suffering more tangible or something#idk maybe i might try it and realize it's actually nothing like i kept thinking and be turned off by it#but with the way i cant stop obsessing over them when i haven't even started? im not taking my chances lol#anyway. feel free to ignore the mental breakdown lol this will definitely keep happening more in the future#alcohol tw#mine#vent
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shrekyaoi · 2 months ago
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You understand now. You get it now
i’ll let the people decide if this is a good or bad thing
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