#and there are still a lot of bothersome areas i haven't made any headway in yet

[fairytalesandfandoms]

Well, this has been a bit of a... what I'm calling Big Thoughts Summer, which I guess could be categorised as 'a few significant realisations that could be more conducive to more self-acceptance in certain areas' if you wanted to focus on that angle, but 'Big Thoughts' is shorter and also more reflective of what they actually feel like in my head

Things included thus far in Big Thoughts (mostly concentrated on social media/the internet and my reactions to it):

The whole Nicolas Cage thing and associated 'I am cringe but I am free'

Special interests do make a difference in my head (source: me waking up and not having The Discouraging Ennui, which let me tell you was certainly a pleasant surprise after what, 8 years? And now it feels actually more possible)

would my life really be that horrible and unsatisfying if I don't obsess over 'curating' every aspect of it (this was one that I came across when packing up to move, as I was getting stressed because all the advice I saw was to have a big declutter before packing but I simply did not have time)

and on that note, the emphasis on always getting rid of stuff before you organise what's left. Like, I get the logic behind this, but at the same time one of the major things about unpacking was that I didn't know where things were any more. I still can't find my matches for the candles. But I was like 'I can't organise until I've decluttered! All the books and videos say so!' and then 'BUT I NEED TO ORGANISE wait a minute. Why CAN'T I organise things first if I need to?' Still working on it but I've changed my current focus.

what am I even doing with Goodreads/Storygraph. Can't I just read things and not automatically keep a public record of my reading that I'm inevitably going to worry about people judging

also conflicted about keeping a TBR list. I didn't have a proper one until 2012 when I had Goodreads. My dilemma is that I want to remember which books I was interested in (as well as their publication details) but it's also taken a lot of spontaneity/serendipity out of looking for books as well as giving me a whole new to-do list that can be MASSIVE because when it comes to media my eyes are bigger than my stomach. Similar issue with the giant film and TV Spreadsheet of Doom.

my friends have started a writing group and: writing??? is actually fun??? It gives you a feeling of those 'putting down the train tracks just ahead of you while the train is at top speed' cartoons, but in a positive way? 2014 NaNoWriMo me is like 'sounds fake but okay'

cool as in 'exclusive, implying a hierarchy of taste' is OUT. Cool as in 'what someone thinks is fun and/or interesting' is IN (and yes I know that out/in framing implies the former, but I was trying to get my point across in a memorable, understandable way).

I love to look at people's collection rooms. I can't remember how I got to 'man makes fake video store in his basement' on Pinterest, but I noticed that even though such things might not be the 'aesthetic' I think is most beautiful I still liked them a lot? I also came across pictures of Guillermo del Toro's 'Bleak House' where he stores his horror stuff, and honestly goals (maybe not the horror aspect so much, but in the way it's decorated and arranged.)