#and therapy like even tho i want to cancel soooo bad everytime…. i feel better after always ❤️🩹
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having pathetic thoughts 😔
#ooooh maaaan#i mean what else is new!#not proud of them….#but like….. with it being the new year and everything i can’t stop thinking about her :(#I hatehatehate thinking about how someone else gets to call her hot 😭😭😭#like it’s true but FUCK#like who tf are you to call her that!!!#like they get to see my favorite part of her body and potentially NOT kiss it#or kiss it :( not kissing it is even worse#not part tho i guess more so spot on her body :(#but yeah……#do they even call it what i used to call it :/#but like i’m so angry and mad and sad and low and ugh#and i don’t kno what to do with these feelings#i’m far too afraid to reach out because i am still genuinely GENUINELY hurt about her not responding three times already#like even if she didn’t want to talk to me anymore like you don’t leave people in silence#i don’t think i can subject myself to that anymore like it hurt me to my heart and still does#especially if she cared for me like she said she did even a little bit :#:( and the thing is i feel like she does care but she just couldn’t back then :(((#i need to do something with this feeling :/#whether i reach out or not it all feels the same man#it FEELS BAD#heeeeeeh idk :( i just wish i knew how she felt and i wish i knew what she was doing :(#i wish i knew what she’s into now and how her work life is and how her grandma is :(((#if she knows and likes Jade and Chappell and Sabrina’s new album and Ethel’s new stuff and maaaaaaan#i’m ranting i need to get this out guys im sorry! everything is okay tho like i am coping better than before#and therapy like even tho i want to cancel soooo bad everytime…. i feel better after always ❤️🩹#the way in which she left just really was messed up and messed me up but even still :(… i love her she is in my heart
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