#and then you sprinkle in some relatable depression self insert on top just for fun

[katrinawritesthings]

Jinki/Jonghyun; hmm; PG

Just you know cute supportive boyfriend stuff : ) Jonghyun noses into his neck, against his jaw, into his cheek, and then presses a little smooch there.

"It's not that I want back on my promise, it's that you refused to respect me like as a human being with boundaries on multiple occasions and I stopped wanting to deal with your bullshit. Also, fuck you." Jinki nods decisively at the wiggly little face in the ceiling above his bed. That'll show him. That's totally what he should have said in that argument with his dad 12 years ago. Now that he's told the ceiling face then. Now. 

Now nothing. He didn't say it then and he can't go back and say it now. Jinki scrubs his hands over his face, blowing out a big puff of air through his lips, through his fingers. He really should get out of bed. It's like three and he at the very least should get up so he can get more food that isn't just his bed stash of graham crackers and chex mix. He really should. It's just that it's so hard. 

It's hard to just lie here and ruminate on old arguments that he can't win anymore too, but it's a different kind of hard. Laying here doing nothing in bed is a less physically exhausting kind of hard. He'd rather do mental gymnastics for hours on end than be any more exhausted than he already is. 

Well, maybe not, because as he has that thought, it comes with a wave of guilt and self-disgust that really doesn't settle well with him. Settles worse than usual, he thinks, maybe, because he's already tired his brain out all day by thinking about unfair shit that shouldn't have happened to him. fuck.

He lays there, tired and musty under his blankets and inside of his brain, trapped between making one bad choice and another bad choice, preparing to spend the next however long hating himself for it, and then, the bed dips next to him.

He doesn't jump, but he still startles; he didn't notice Jonghyun coming in. He smells good, like his usual perfume, and he settles himself comfortably in, right next to Jinki. One arm slides under Jinki’s head, the other over his chest, one leg over his thighs. Jonghyun noses into his neck, against his jaw, into his cheek, and then presses a little smooch there.

"Hi Jinki," he smiles. “I brought you an orange and also some tiny pancakes." And sure enough, in the hand that he slid over Jinki's chest, he was holding a plate with tiny little stacks of freshly microwaved mini pancakes, a little bit of butter spread on each one and a delicate puddle of syrup in the middle of the plate for dipping. Once Jinki takes that, Jonghyun sticks his hand between their bodies and rummages around his hoodie pocket before pulling out an orange.

 "Thanks, honey," Jinki mumbles. He picks up a little pancake with his fingers, dips it into the syrup, and pops it into his mouth, chewing slowly. Jonghyun copies him, then wiggles close to press yet another smooch to his cheek.

"I think you're very cute," Jonghyun says, punctuating it with another kiss, “and I like you a lot," and another kiss, "and I love you a lot." And then, again, another kiss. Jinki accepts the kisses, and the compliments, and tilts his head so he can rest it against Jonghyun’s temple.

"You're my favorite," he says. And he means that with his whole entire heart. In the same way that he knows that Jonghyun meant what he just said with his whole entire heart. As Jonghyun smiles into his neck and squeezes him gently, Jinki drops one of his own kisses to his hair. He might be a depressed lump that can't make his brain make a decision, but at least, to someone that he cares about, he's cute.