#and then you go to Happy Return and she's mentioned like 5 times throughout. one of which is literally

[isaacathom]

im finding that often when i stay up later than usual (like, until 3am instead of 1) my brain goes 'hey wanna think about hornblower again' and like. yes. but also ?? you still havent read commodore, you havent read or watched anything since late feb/early march, and you havent even really read any fanfic in that time bc you ""exhausted"" the specific sort of thing you like to read. what is FUELLING this???

[outsideratheart]

“I almost lost you.” with Leah Williamson

Leah Williamson was the woman for you. There was a lot in this world you didn’t know but this is one thing you were sure about.

Throughout the years you have been together you had experienced many ups and downs both on the pitch and off it but there was one moment that stuck out.

Back in 2019 Arsenal got an offer for Lyon that was too good to turn down. Never did you think you would leave Arsenal and your girlfriend but the temptation was there and it filled you with guilt. Talks happened between you and the french team but you kept them a secret from your girlfriend. In the end you chose your relationship over your career.

It’s how you found yourself experiencing an intense case of Deja Vu. For you Arsenal wasn’t the same as it once was and with your contract coming to an end, teams began making offers once again. Only this time you told your manager to reject every single one of them. Maybe your love of the team was deteriorating but your relationship wasn’t. You and Leah had just bought you forever home and you leaving wasn’t part of your 5 year plan.

“Is everything ok?” Leah asked as you walked into the kitchen where she was making herself, and now you, a cup for tea.

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Once again you had been asked to stay behind to work do extra training at the request of Jonas.

With the small amount of energy you have left you hoist yourself up onto the kitchen side.

Leah hands you a freshly brewed tea and takes her place between your legs. She watches as you place the cup aside without taking a sip.

“You never turn down a cup for tea. Something must be wrong” Leah slight chuckle soon came to an end when she saw your face drop.

Your mind was screaming in frustration but you remain silent. The only sign of response Leah gets is when you tilt your head back in attempt to avoid eye contact.

“We just need to finish this season and get it over with”

Never had Leah heard you talk about football in such a way. You spoke about it like it was a chore when normally you have a smile that spreads from ear to ear.

“You can leave Y/N. I know that—“ Leah begins to talk but you don’t let her finish her sentence.

“No, no ,no. I’m not leaving, I haven’t even taken any meetings. I promise you Leah, I haven’t”

Leah has known your departure from the club you both grew up in was imminent. She could play for Arsenal until the day she retired but the same could not be said about you. You deserved to reach your full potential and that wouldn’t happen at Arsenal.

“I know about the offers” Leah hands rub up and down your thighs. She watched as you visibly tense up at the mention of other clubs.

“I turned them down straight away”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have”

“It was the right decision for our future. Last time I…..I almost lost you”

It wasn’t an easy thing to remember. You and Leah were screaming at each other and it ended with her walking out. She didn’t return to your apartments for 3 days and they were the longest days of your life.

‘Y/N” Leah waited for you to look at her and after a few seconds you did “It wasn’t you moving that did that. It was that you kept it from me”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m not happy at Arsenal but I know that I’ll be even more miserable if I am away from you”

“What we are going to do is talk about it. You are going to be honest with me about how you are feeling and then you can tell me which city I will be visiting on my days off”

“I’ll grab the biscuits, you grab the drinks?” You ask with a smirk on your face.

“Sure” Leah steals a quick kiss “See, we will still be a team off the pitch”

[baileybeez]

My Top Ten Favorite Bumbleby Moments (My Opinion Obviously)

10. All Fight Scenes

I know I'm technically cheating on this one but whenever these two fight, I know I'm in for a good time. And all of them have been superb. These two are in sync without even communicating with each other. They know each other's abilities and know how to work together well in combat.

9. We're Protecting Each Other

This was a 'you had to be there' moment. It was insane. Even knowing these two would eventually confront Adam, the way they did it blew my mind. I loved seeing these two stand up together to confront Adam and become each other's strength's. They had each other's backs in this moment and were going to do it together.

8. We Were There For Each Other

This moment lived in my head rent free for months after the episode came out. They held hands before this to comfort each other during stressful times. Like Blake reaching out to apologize to Yang when she lost her arm and Blake reaching out when Yang's hand started to shake because of Adam. But this time, Yang reached for Blake in a moment of peace. After everything that happened, she forgave Blake and accepted her after everything they went through together. And all she wanted to do was just hold her hand again.

7. Volume 8 Reunion

The amount of gushing I and many others did during this moment was crazy. We were starved for Bumbleby interactions in Volume 8, especially after Volume 7 did so many with them both. After 24 hours of craziness, the two are at peace once again. Blake at first is worried since they did separate missions Yang might be mad that they didn't work together. But all Yang did to reassure her was smile and the two touched foreheads and later embraced each other. It was such a sweet moment.

6. Date Night

Volume 7 had so many good little bee moments that were adorable and I'm a sucker for fluff. Blake getting her new hair and Yang struggling to compliment it, the selfie, Blake falling asleep on Yang's lap with Yang holding her etc. But the two going to a club and off handedly mentioning they're gonna ignore Team FNKI just to have their own fun. You two can just call it a date, we won't judge lol. With Yang trying to teach Blake how to dance and Blake struggling to learn while laughing. I love how whenever Yang cracks a joke, she looks at Blake because she wants to make sure she see's Blake laughing. Not to mention Nora's comments later in the episode.

"Blake and Yang are off doing they're own thing again."

"Friends huh? Just friends?"

"Two people who have gone through that much? I think there's more going on."

And I will forever be mad RT didn't show us them at their date.

5. The Burning Candle

Ya'll this was the spark that ignited the ship. Not only is the Burning Candle just a great episode but it's an amazing moment for Blake and Yang. We get to see these two open up and communicate their wants and desires. With Yang telling Blake about her past and trying to help Blake so she doesn't push herself too far. And then of course at the end Yang gives her that wink and says 'I'll save you a dance'. Then we later see the two dancing. It was also the first time we saw Blake laughing and happy and it was all because of Yang. Yang who just asked for a dance in return for helping Blake and opening up about her past. I was sold on this ship when this episode came out.

4. How Disarming ~

The gay in my brain would not stop buzzing at this moment. It's amazing seeing how much Blake was the one openly flirting and initiating playful touch. There's a great post by @wixhing0nastar going over Blake's body language throughout the volumes. How a lot of the times Blake is more closed off in her posture, like how she holds herself. But here, she's leaning into to Yang's space and just playfully nudging her. She's not holding back. Also I swear I could hear Blake purr when she said 'How disarming'. Like my breath got caught in my throat. And then when Weiss said 'About time'. I knew this volume had to be the one where they finally get together.

3. Volume 9 Reunion

This is my favorite reunion of Bumbleby. Especially since we had to wait for so long for these two to be reunited. Blake was distraught last volume as she failed to save Yang and thought Yang died in front of her. Yang who had always been there to help her and fight by her side. And the first thing Blake does when she gets a free chance is to tackle hug Yang and hug her tightly. Softly whispering Yang in both disbelief and joy. And Yang simply holds her to reassure her like she did in Volume 8. Honestly, if Weiss and Ruby weren't there they would have probably stayed like that for hours lol.

2. I'm Not Gonna Break My Promise

This used to be my favorite Bumbleby moment of all time and for good reason. Blake and Yang had killed Adam. The first thing Blake does is weep and fall to her knees. She's gone through so much and much of it had to do with him. Her torment of him is over and the person she once knew was dead. And Yang wordlessly just holds her and lets Blake cry. Blake finally gets out that she won't break her promise and swears it. Earlier Adam had mockingly told Yang that Blake made a promise to him once and that she didn't follow through with it. And even earlier in the volume Blake had promised to be there if they faced him. Yang has seen Blake stood by her words with her actions. And just reassures Blake she knows Blake won't break her promise. No more words are exchanged as the two just hold each other and Blake just cries more.

The Confession and Kiss

Was anyone really surprised? I know I wasn't. I loved the number 2 moment on my list so much. But I knew as soon as we got the confession and kiss scene it would more than likely take my top spot. It was all a matter of how it was executed and it was done spectacularly. There's many essays and write ups on why this scene was so good so I apologize if I don't add much to the conversation.

But Blake and Yang are stuck in a punderstorm and are trying to figure out how to get out. With them eventually figuring out they need to say things about each other they've never said before. At this point the two have only really said cute things to each other and then Blake comes out with.

'I think....you're an extraordinary person.'

Honest to god I was already getting emotional from just that as Blake goes in some more. Talking about how Yang does what she says, she brightens others around her and is always brave even when she's scared. The looks and the song Worthy playing in the background only add to how monumental this moment was for me. With Yang talking about how she liked how Blake wasn't intimidated by her even back when they didn't get along. She also talks about how Blake doesn't give up on people even when other people hurt her and she never gives up because she knows what matters to her. Blake has tried to help others and has sometimes failed but she has tried to push through despite labeling herself as a coward. But Yang see's a person always trying to do what's best for the people she loves.

Then we get this moment.

These are my favorite expressions of the whole scene. It's so wholesome, pure and full of love in every detail. At this point the two know what needs to be said but Yang is at first hesitant and the bridge between them widens. Blake asks if Yang thought of something then didn't say it and Yang is so bashful as she is realizing she needs to say those three words. But Yang is scared, she compares it to a cliff and if she goes through with it she'll fall. I've always headcannoed that Yang's greatest fear is letting those she loves down. And that ties into how she fell at Beacon and fell in Volume 8. It can also tie to her with the aftermath of Mercury and feeling she let her team down. She's scared she won't be good enough and will lose it all. It also similarly ties into her abandonment issues.

But Blake points out, they're already falling. Their emotions aren't going to go away just because they're scared. They're already worried for each other when they're fighting to save the world and two thought they were dead last volume. With Blake thinking Yang died and she failed to save her. So Blake encourages Yang gently by telling her to say it.

And after a heavy sigh, Yang confesses with Blake jumping in before she can finish as the two say I love you. The bridge that separated them is gone and they're together. They look at each other with blushing cheeks with Worthy playing in the background. They pull into each other, Blake slowly smiling as they get closer and kiss each other. White lilies sprout from under them as the while lily symbolizes rebirth and rejuvenation of the soul. The flowers are also used at weddings and can also mean purity. It's such a perfect flower to fit this perfect this scene.

And there you have it, my top ten Bumbleby moments. There were lots of moments to choose from and so many of the ones I love unfortunately didn't make it on this list. So here are some honorable mentions down below.

[sunny-fox]

Random thought from yesterday:

Pet! SAHSR (Self Aware Honkai Star Rail) AU

Notes: reverse isekai, characters turn into animals, Astral Express Crew, Caelus and Stelle are twins, kind of Cult! AU?

------------------------------

Dutch Rabbit! Pom Pom who pretends that they don't like being petted. They don't look at you when you pet them, opting to stare at random things around them, but they move towards you slowly and secretly, a few steps at a time. They nuzzle into your palm but pretend that they didn't afterwards by ignoring you multiple times when you call their name. Pom Pom does try to nip at your fingers if you ruffle their fur too often, thinking that you're trying to mess up their soft fur. If Pom Pom is feeling particularly friendly on some days, they might even let you hold them for hours (they usually lie still in your arms for about 5 minutes before squirming to get away). March will start complaining and pawing at your arm though, as it's her spot on other days.

Cocker Spaniel! March 7th who loves following you around your house. She's quite energetic, often bringing her toys to you, pleading for you to play with her through her gaze. You do play with her, but it's impossible to do so every 10 minutes, what with your work and everyday duties. March gets bored when you can't play with her, lying on the floor and looking here and there for something else to play with (that isn't her toys). Don't be surprised when you return to the living room and find your bags turned inside out, belongings undamaged but strewn across the floor, Himeko picking them up and piling them together for you. March wants you to think of it as revenge for not playing with her (>:3).

Siberian cat! Dan Heng who prefers resting on cat trees than interacting with the others. He'll swipe a paw at anyone (except you) who dares invade his personal space, though he acts more lenient towards the other pets. He watches you from his special spot on the cat tree every time you walk around the house doing chores or just going from one room to another. Sometimes Dan Heng does follow you just like March, but if you tell him that he's practically tripping you every step you take, he quietly leaves and goes back to his spot. If March is following you as well, Dan Heng will paw at her back, telling her to follow him to the living room. He'll ask for help from Welt if she doesn't listen.

Maine Coon! Himeko who's just like the mom of the group. She's mostly calm, but will gently nip at the younger pets' ears or swipe a paw at them - claws retracted, of course - if they misbehave. Himeko likes it when you brush her fur. Eight to nine out of ten times she falls asleep when you do so. She has to have her fur brushed weekly if not daily - she'll bring her comb to you and purr to let you know. Himeko will curl up next to you if you let her sleep on your bed, guarding you throughout the night, nuzzling against you when you wake up screaming (or not) from nightmares.

Bernese Mountain Dog! Welt who's really calm and quiet. He rests his snout on the edge of your bed each morning so the first thing you see when you wake is a pair of honey-coloured eyes staring right back at you. Please pat his snout as a good morning; he'll feel so happy if you do! As mentioned above, Dan Heng asks Welt for help when March insists on running in circles around you: he picks her up by the scruff and takes her away. Welt likes to accompany you on walks at night, treasuring the precious time he gets to spend with you. There's this one time when you took a photo with Welt and put a pair of toy glasses on his snout. He seemed to love those glasses a lot after that.

Raccoons! Caelus and Stelle who are disappointed that they can't go dumpster diving in your house. You can't have garbage strewn around your house, after all. You caught them red-handed during their first few attempts after arriving at your house. When you leave your house, they'll try to dig through the trash cans again. March and Dan Heng try to stop them, with March tugging on Stelle's tail with her mouth and Dan Heng standing on his hind legs, trying to pry Caelus off the can. Eventually you prepared a huge box for the troublemaker twins and hid new toys or snacks in it, underneath old clothes and colourful, hollow plastic balls. That seemed to satisfy their interest in dumpster diving, albeit briefly. Caelus and Stelle still try to climb into trash cans whenever they go on walks with you.

Even though Pom Pom was a rabbit, Dan Heng and Himeko were cats, Welt and March were dogs, and Caelus as well as Stelle were raccoons, they often stuck together like a family. Pom Pom likes to make Welt's back their personal couch. Welt won't move at all unless you pick up Pom Pom or Pom Pom climbs off his back. Himeko plays with March to distract her from turning your house upside down when you're busy. Caelus, Stelle and Dan Heng lie in a cuddle pile during naps. Sometimes March, Himeko, Welt and Pom Pom join them too. You're quite puzzled as to why they love each other dearly, but hey, it's nice to see them acting like family, no?

------------------------------

Had a lot of fun writing this :D

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You…(Part 7)

YouTube!Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️:Arguing,Chan having dark thoughts, thoughts of killing himself, not feeling good enough, Lee Know teasing reader😏 (let me know if I missed anything)

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

(A/N: 🚨🚨🚨ATTENTION 🚨🚨🚨: All text messages are at the bottom of the post. Since Tumblr will not let me post this THE WAY I WANT TO. I have to do it this way. I will put a () to indicate where the text messages is SUPPOSED TO BE so you can scroll down to look at them. (I’m fine. I’m cool){I’M NOT FINE} Happy reading!)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

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Third Person POV

After watching Y/N's video, Changbin turned to his leader, their expressions reflecting a mix of emotions. “Wait, so it's true? You never liked her from the beginning. Is that why you always avoided talking about her? Were you jealous of someone being similar to you?” All eyes are on Chan and in this moment he wishes the floor beneath him would open up and swallow him. “Didn't you like her from the start? You mentioned how much you appreciated her motherly demeanor.” Hyunjin is the next one to speak up. It’s like every word he wants to say withers on his tongue. A few of the younger members are shaking their heads, while one in particular is gazing intently at his Hyung.

"I thought you promised not to bring that up in your letter to her," Felix said, eyes fixed on him. "What's going on? Did you know he never really liked her all this time?" Han blurted out, clearly shocked by the unfolding drama.

“He told me everything, from the start-up to now. When I had last spoken to him he told me he wasn’t going to put that in the letter.” He pivots back to his Leader. "What's different?" All eyes snap back to him. “I decided to be completely honest with her. She always valued honesty over anything else, and I knew she would prefer me to be upfront rather than lie or hide the truth. I was fully aware that it might not be well-received.” His gaze returns to the screen, where Y/N's smile shines through.

"It's hard to believe that she can forgive me for what I've done. I feel terrible knowing that I've caused her pain. It's especially painful to realize that she held onto Wolf Chan as if her life depended on it. And now, I've shattered the trust she had in me. All because I let my jealousy get the best of me over a girl that Stays couldn't stop talking about. I see now that they were just trying to share the story of a fan who loves and supports us, but I twisted it into an emotion that I never should have felt." He looks down at his hands, feeling regretful.

“I was aware of the potential risks when I wrote that letter. I knew that if she decided to share it publicly, there might be people who would criticize me for expressing my thoughts. Nevertheless, she bravely asked her audience not to react with hate towards me.”

As he looks back at his team, he's greeted with a mix of emotions. One person, in particular, has been quiet throughout. It's difficult to believe that his leader has been feeling jealous of Y/N. "I didn't confide in any of you because I know how much you all care about her. Maybe I should have."

"Maybe you should have," Lee Know's words hung in the air, capturing everyone's attention. "I thought you liked her, but now I don't know what to believe. How long did you not like her before you started liking her?" All eyes turned to their Hyung, waiting for an answer.

Anticipation hung in the air as everyone waited for their leader's response. Finally, the answer came: “Six months.”

"SIX MONTHS?!" Changbin and Han exclaimed in unison. Their leader nodded solemnly. All the boys shook their heads in disbelief. "Chan Hyung," the hyung in question looked at his Maknae. "I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we expected better from you. We've always looked to you for guidance, and the one time we were looking forward to something, you go and ruin it with a letter. I hope you're happy." I.N. stood up to leave, and the rest of the group followed suit, leaving only two people behind.

Chan was bracing himself for the inevitable and was ready to bear the weight of the shame and guilt directed at him. Lee Know struggled to contain his anger, but as he sat in the presence of his Hyung, his rage only intensified. He hurriedly got up and distanced himself from Chan. The only person left was Chan's Aussie brother.

Despite feeling upset about his leader’s behavior, Felix chose not to hold any grudges against him. He understands that everyone experiences emotions differently and believes in showing compassion towards others. “They’ll come around.” Chan's mind was lost when a sudden voice made him jump. “Lee Know, probably not so much, but the others will come around. They’re just appalled that not only did you lie, but you kept this from them.”

Chan remained silent, and Felix hadn't anticipated a response. As Felix departed, Chan was left in solitude with his tumultuous thoughts, reminiscent of his early days as a trainee. It had been a while since Chan had been alone with his thoughts in such a disquieting manner. ‘Why didn't I open up to my members about my feelings? Why did I let others' opinions affect me? And why did I confess to the one person I was excited to meet that I couldn't stand her?’ The negative thoughts continued to spiral out of control. ‘You were never fit to be a leader. You lost all the trust you’ve earned over a girl because you got jealous. You should have killed yourself when you had the chance.’ Chan's phone suddenly rings with an unfamiliar number. Without hesitation, he slides the button and answers.

“Hello?”

“I was wondering if you were still alive.” That voice. It’s the same voice as the one they just heard. Chan had forgotten he had left his number for her in case she wanted to talk. He didn’t expect her to call so soon. Any negative thoughts he had vanished, replaced by a rush of anxiety.

“Chris? Are you there?” Realizing he hadn’t responded, he finally replied.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here. I just, uh, forgot that I left my number for you. I didn’t expect you to call this soon.” Y/N's laughter on the other end causes Chan's heart to race excitedly.

“Well, I didn’t expect to get a phone number anyway.” She hesitates, and Chan instinctively holds his breath, anticipating the impending strike.

“You have such a natural talent with words. Has anyone ever told you that?” Chan takes a deep breath and slowly shuts his eyes.

"I debated whether to tell you, but I know you appreciate honesty," Y/N nodded, even though he couldn't see her.

“I understand. I didn't anticipate one of my Biases feeling jealous of me. I'm sure the Stays didn't intend to contribute, but their actions may have unknowingly affected the situation.”

"I'm realizing that I made a mistake. I didn't understand what Stays was trying to convey. It felt like they were belittling me and praising you. But I now see that wasn't the intention at all. I regret feeling that way towards you when you've done nothing wrong. I'm truly sorry, Y/N." She heard sniffles on the other end and immediately sprang into action.

“No, Chan, please don’t get upset. I’m not mad, okay? Confused definitely but I’m not mad or angry at you. Please don’t cry. I don’t want you crying over something like this. It’s not worth it.” It almost seemed like nothing she was telling him worked. She felt like she only had one other option.

What if we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine

Nothing could keep us apart

You’d be the one I was meant to find

Chan's tears cease as he listens to a beautiful voice singing - it's Y/N. Her singing, one of his favorite songs, fills him with courage, and he joins in.

It’s up to you and it’s up to me

No one can say what we get to be

So why don’t we rewrite the stars?

Maybe the world could be ours tonight

They finished the song together, and Chan felt a weight lift off his shoulders. For a brief moment, he almost forgot why he was upset. Just as he started to sink back into that dark place, Y/N spoke up.

“I want you to know that you're not alone, Chan. I understand that your boys may be upset with you right now, but I believe they'll come around.” He scuffs lightly.

“You’re starting to sound like Felix.”

"Just know that we can both work through this together. We're in different time zones, but I'm here for you. If I can't respond immediately, I promise to reply as soon as possible. Don't let negative thoughts take over, Chris. You have the strength to conquer them. I'll be your cheerleader, rooting for you every step of the way." Chan's laughter fills the room for the first time in a while.

“Are you going to wear a uniform when you’re cheering for me?” He teases her.

“I don't have one, but I’ll make sure to go buy one just for you.”

(First three pics of Chan)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As time passed, they kept in touch as much as possible. Gradually, his members started to come back around, realizing that their leader had his shortcomings and felt awful after they walked out. However, one person still kept their distance from him: Lee Know.

Chan anticipated this situation, but he felt unsure how to handle it. He pondered whether he should address the issue at all. Eventually, Chan resolved to converse with his mischievous bunny, Minho. However, he promised himself he wouldn't press the issue if Minho were unwilling to talk.

(Last two pics of Chan)

Guess what? Lee Know was doing better than expected. Lee Minho was doing more than okay - he was doing great!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After turning off her camera, Y/N returned to the items the boys had given her. To her surprise, instead of just one phone number, she had received two of them – one from Chan and one from Minho. The realization made her heart flutter with happiness. Y/N prided herself on not holding grudges against people, significantly if they had never wronged her. While it had been painful to read Chan's letter, she tried to empathize with his perspective. She couldn't fully comprehend his actions but could at least grasp what might have transpired.

She couldn't shake the feeling that the boys might be unaware of Chan's true feelings. She hoped they wouldn't be too harsh on him. She also worried about the fans lashing out at him for speaking his mind. After sorting through all the packages and organizing them into piles for upcoming videos, she decided to text both boys or at least she thought she did.

She debated whether to text or call and whether to contact one or both. After half an hour, she chose to call Chan. She was worried about him, and her concerns were justified. She wished she could be there to comfort him. When he started crying and couldn't console him, she decided to sing to lift his spirits. At that moment, her singing ability didn't matter; what mattered was helping him.

After speaking with Chan, she made up her mind to text Minho. She pondered whether they were both aware of sharing their numbers with her or if it was a mutual decision. The tone of Chan's voice suggested that Lee Know was taking it the hardest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn't hear from him until the next day after waking up. She smiled and sent a reply. (First two of Minho) They would text each other about what she was up to and what he was cooking for dinner. He even started sending her pictures of the delicious food he makes and his adorable kids. (Last three of Minho) He was on the verge of forgetting why he was furious with Hyung until she casually mentioned him during their phone conversation.

“I’ve meant to ask you this for a while, but I keep forgetting.” He smiles as he listens to the sound of her voice.

“Go on. Ask me whatever you want to know.”

“How’s Chan been doing? I haven’t heard you mention anything about him since I first contacted you.” Lee Know froze and blinked rapidly, feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

“I don’t know. Haven’t talked to him recently.” His words came out stiffly. From her recent chat with the leader, Y/N knew he hadn't approached Chan yet. She didn't want to pressure Minho to speak with Chan, but she also couldn't let things stay as they were.

"Okay, I was just concerned. I didn't know if something had happened. That's why I asked." She says in a gentle tone. Lee Know let out a heavy sigh, and she sensed his unease.

“Minho? Is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not okay.”

“What’s wrong? You’re not hurt or anything, right?” He smiles at her, worrying.

“I'm alright, but the group disagreed, and things haven't been the same since.”

“What's the story? If it's too personal, feel free to keep it to yourself.” Lee Know felt a strong desire to kiss Y/N. He would have acted on it if it weren't for the distance between them.

“It happened because of you.”

“Me?! Why me?!” He proceeded to describe what happened after they finished watching the video. He talked about how he stormed out in anger, feeling the urge to punch Chan Hyung but managing to restrain himself. Instead, he released his frustration on a punching bag.

“Everyone else has made up with him, but I haven’t.”

“What’s stopping you?” He struggled to answer that one question. His frustration would bubble up again whenever he tried to think about it.

“A lot of things. That’s all I’m going to say about it.”

“Alright, I hope I'm not prying, but I want to ensure you guys don't end up falling out.” She pauses before continuing, “I understand this may be difficult to hear, but sometimes issues like this don't resolve independently. Having an open conversation with Chan and expressing your feelings might be necessary. I know how much you care about Chan, and I'm sure whatever occurred has strained your relationship. It would be best to address this before it becomes even more difficult to fix. Just a little advice from someone who cares about you.” Lee Know's face lights up with a subtle smile. “You're under no obligation to take my advice, but addressing the issue now might be more beneficial than putting it off.”

Lee Know was sitting on his bed, wrestling with whether to approach Chan or put it off for another day. He appreciated Y/N's efforts to mend things, even though it wasn't her issue to fix. He didn't want to dismiss her good intentions, but deep down, he knew she was right. With the Maniac comeback in full swing, it was essential for them to reconcile and move ahead together.

Lee Know finally decides to take action so they can both concentrate on what's important. As Lee Know strides towards the door and reaches for the knob, he is taken aback to find his Leader standing there, hand poised to knock. They lock eyes, and Chan slowly lowers his hand. "Hey, I was just coming to see if you wanted to talk."

[stealingpotatoes]

The last episode of Ahsoka-

Literally- blow my mind- I had to stand up at least 3 times cause I was just so ???!!!!! !?!?!?!?!?!?!!??

Words can’t describe

The feeling that felt - xD

YEAH IM GONNA GO INSANE UNDER THE CUT ONE SECOND:

BITING THE FUCKING DRYWALL. BITING THE DRYWALL GNAWING CLAWING AND EATING IT. IM JUST. WHEN THE STAR WARS IS GOOD!! WHEN THE FANSERVICE ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!!! LIKE YES WE GOT TO SEE TCW ANAKIN AND TCW AHSOKA IN LIVE ACTION BUT IT ALSO ADDED TO THE STORY AND GAVE US CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT FOR AHSOKA AND SAID YEAH, THE FUN TONE OF CLONE WARS WAS BC THE CHARACTERS COULDN'T DEAL WITH IT ANY OTHER WAY. THEY WERE PEACEKEEPERS AND CHILD SOLDIERS WATCHING FRIENDS DIE ON THE DAILY AND IF THEY DIDNT JOKE THEN THE GRIEF WOULD TAKE OVER. AND THEY DONT SEE THAT IN THE MOMENT BUT ADULT AHSOKA REALISES HOW STRANGE IT IS

AND YEAH HAVING HER PLAYED BY A CHILD (also wow ariana greenblatt does such a good job i literally cant not imagine her when i think of babysoka now) RLLY DRIVES HOME HOW YOUNG SHE WAS. HOW FUCKED UP IT WAS. BUT ALSO WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF WAR ARE!! ALL THIS SAID WHILE FORCE SENSITIVE CHILD JACEN'S SO HEAVILY IN THIS EPISODE. AND W THE KANAN MENTION!!!! LIKE ITS POINTING OUT LOOK THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN WAR AND IF AHSOKA DOESN'T END THIS THEN JACEN WILL HAVE TO BE LIKE HER AND HIS FATHER AND I AM ONCE AGAIN BITING AT THE DRYWALL. IT DIDNT JUST GIVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IT GRABS YOU BY THE FACE AND SAYS THE RETURN OF THE EMPIRE IS SERIOUS. WAR IS SERIOUS. ITS NOT THE CARTOON YOU GREW UP WITH.

AND ALL OF ANAKIN JUST GESTURES TO ALL OF THAT. HAYDEN SLAYED SERVED CUNT THROUGHOUT HE'S SUCH A GREAT ANAKIN NOW HE HAD SO MUCH RANGE TO THE CHARACTER AND THE FLICKERING ANIVADER AND RED LIGHTSABER. HE'S BOTH AT ONCE AND AHSOKA HAS TO ACCEPT THIS AND IM EATING DRYWALL AGAIN.

calming down for 2 seconds the cinematography was great this episode and the pacing was a definite improvement from ep1, which filoni also directed! this played into his directing strengths a lot better w the action and emotion. i won't lie i'm still not sold on the show as a whole i do think eps 1-3 were okay i guess, 4 was a step up and 5 is like. wow ok go girl. also the way they used anivader in this episode made me rlly sad for the kenobi show bc that show should've been smthn like this, using him as a vision for obi-wan's development instead of the villain of the show bc thats a tired fight but hey! this is abt ahsoka not kenobi i digress. SPEAKING OF loved how it was actually ABOUT the titular character for once. anyway. going insane. i don't have too much faith the show can keep this up but i'll be happy if it can reach smthn close to this as it goes on

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Special treatment

PAIRING | Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.1K

SUMMARY | After being retired for 5 years, Steve asks you to join the Avengers on a mission. You ask him not to give you any special treatment, but he feels very protective over you and can't help but keep an eye on you throughout the whole mission.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning, do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Mention of kidnapping, mention of miscarriages, mentions of rape resulting in an unwanted pregnancy.

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist

''I don't know, Steve, there's a reason I've been retired for 5 years. You do remember I retired, right?'' you ask him with a scowl. ''Yeah, of course, I remember, it's not the same without you in the Compound,'' he says with a slight blush on his face. He has never quite gotten over the crush he has on you, even after you moved on from your role as an Avenger. ''But I think it's really for the best if you return for this one mission, we could use your help, Sunshine.'' You shook your head because you weren't sure if you were ready to go back into it like this. You never fully recovered from the incident that pushed you to leave. Besides, you had someone else to think about now too.

While Steve talks on, you can't help but think about the events leading up to your retirement, and why you left everyone without so much as a goodbye. You were captured by HYDRA during a mission and held captive for nearly 6 months without being able to leave your room. Due to your super soldier genes - you were born as one, unlike Bucky and Steve - they tried to breed you until they figured out a way to get more super soldiers this way. The first few months were very unsuccessful, eventually leading to a miscarriage each time. This broke you physically, mentally, and emotionally, but you kept going, fighting until they could find you, and they did. After almost 6 months, the Avengers found you, and Steve was there to save you.

It turns out that during the last insemination they did, they were indeed successful in breeding you. At that point, you were 6 weeks pregnant with your daughter, who you decided to keep even though the pregnancy wasn't wanted. You couldn't get yourself to get an abortion and wanted to give your baby a fair chance at a beautiful life. Now, your daughter was almost 5 years old, and she was the absolute best thing that has ever happened to you. However, the Avengers never even knew you were pregnant, except for Tony. He is the only one besides you who knows about her existence. He was both happy and sad at the same time, but he promised to take care of both of you for as long as necessary, and he never wavered from that promise.

''Can I think about it before I give you an answer?'' you ask him, you need to discuss this before you say yes, even though you kind of want to. ''Of course Sunshine, but we need an answer soon so you can be briefed with the rest of the Avengers. They would love to see you again too, by the way, they all miss you,'' he said in a last effort to convince you to do it. ''I'll let you know tomorrow,'' you said with a little smirk on your face. You and Steve catch up a little more before you have to go, you have to pick up your daughter from school. ''It was really good to see you again, Steve. I'll let you know tomorrow about the mission,'' you say before giving him a big hug, he squeezes you a little before letting go. ''Alright, take care Sunshine,'' he says before you get into your car and drive off.

When you're waiting for your daughter to get out of school, you decide to text Tony. You need to talk it over with someone, and he seems to be the best option right now, none of your other friends would likely understand what you're going through.

Y/N: Hi Tony, dinner at my place tonight? Need to discuss something. Also, Willow misses you and wants to see her favorite uncle!

Tony: I miss my little Willow tree as well, so I'll be there. I'll bring take-out and wine at 7.

You smile at your phone, and before you can answer him, she comes running out of school. ''Hi Willow, how was your day today? Did you have lots of fun?'' you ask her and she runs into your arms for a hug. ''Yeah, we did some math today and it was VERY hard!'' she said with a scowl on her face, which made you laugh. ''I get it, I don't like it either. Shall we go home? Uncle Tony is coming over tonight so we have to make sure the house is ready!'' As soon as you mentioned, Tony, she ran off to your car, she couldn't wait to see him, the two of them honestly have the best bond together. ''Is Uncle Tony coming for dinner?'' she asks and you nod. ''I have to make him a surprise,'' she said when she sat down in the car seat, already talking about what drawing she will make for him.

~ That same evening ~

Like clockwork, Tony rang your doorbell at exactly 7 PM, making you jump a little because you didn't know it was already time. You were wearing a simple outfit that was nice enough to welcome guests in, but not too nice since you would be lounging around the house anyways. Willow ran to the door to greet him, she's been impatiently waiting on the couch for the last 15 minutes and sprinted to the door. ''UNCLE TONY!'' she said before jumping into his arms, he put the bags of take-out on the floor before he rang the doorbell, already suspecting this would happen. ''Hey little Willow tree, how was school today?'' he said, and he blushed a little when she planted a big kiss on his cheek. ''It was not good, had to learn very difficult math today and it was no fun,'' she explained, making him laugh.

She finally let him in the door and you were getting 2 wine glasses ready as well as a cup of apple juice for Willow. ''Hi Sunshine,'' Tony said when entered the dining room, which was connected to the open kitchen. ''Hey Tony, thanks for coming over at such short notice, I hope Pepper didn't mind,'' you said with a small smile on your face. ''She's out with her girlfriends tonight, so I had the house all to myself anyways. At least now I have something fun to do!'' he said and he put the bags down. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a much-needed hug. ''I missed you,'' you tell him, ''I really need to discuss something,''. All three of you sit down and discuss what Steve asked this afternoon.

''I think you should do it, Sunshine, I do,'' he says when you're done talking. ''Not only might it be good for you to get out of the house to do something other than your usual routine, I think it would be good for you to see everyone again, we all miss you,'' he says, a little bit of sadness visible in his eyes. ''And we could use your help during this mission, Steve wouldn't shut up about him going to ask you for the past few days, it was getting unbearable at this point,'' he mentioned which made both of you laugh loud. ''Okay, I'll do it, thank you for the advice,'' you said before lifting your glass of wine to your mouth, thinking about what it would be like to get back into the field.

~ The next day ~

Y/N: Good morning Captain, I've thought about it and made some arrangements, so I'll be coming on the mission. When do you need me to be at the Compound?

Steve: Good morning Sunshine! The briefing is at 2 this afternoon. See you then!

Y/N: I'll be there, and I'll bring pastries to make sure they'll welcome me back with open arms 😉

Steve: We will always welcome you back Sunshine, no matter what ❤️

You smile at the last text Steve sent you, even though you left without saying goodbye, you knew there would always be a place for you at the Avengers when you needed it most. In all honesty, you did miss it, the missions, the fun moments, the whole gang together, but you needed to take care of yourself first. Tony told them that they were shocked and didn't understand it, but they all respected your decision to retire right then and there. ''Gonna miss my Sunshine now,'' Steve said when he heard, and he was heartbroken, but he did stay in touch with you over the years. Even though you didn't see each other often, you always felt happy and safe in his presence.

When it's time for you to get ready for the Compound, you're looking through your wardrobe for an outfit that isn't leggings and a sweater, which is basically what you live in now. You decide on a casual outfit with Chelsea boots, ripped jeans, a beige shirt, a green cardigan, and a brown hat that matches your shoes. You put it on and instantly feel like your old self again, you haven't felt like this in a long time. You grab your purse and phone and walk to the bakery near your house to get the promised pastries. You pick up quite a variety, ending up with 4 boxes of pastries that will be without a doubt devoured before the end of the meeting. You put them in your car and make your way to the Compound, Steve made sure you could enter without a problem.

You arrive 30 minutes early, so you immediately go to the conference room to put the pastries down for now. Since there's nobody there yet you decide to see if Tony is in his office. You knock on the door and he orders you to come in. ''Are you always that grumpy to your best Avenger?'' you say with a huge smile, and when he lifts his eyes to you, his whole posture and face immediately soften. ''Sunshine, what a nice surprise! You look stunning today, what's the occasion?'' he says with a wink. ''Oh, just wanted to look good for my pastry delivery is all,'' you said with a chuckle. ''I was here earlier than planned so I decided to come by your office and see if you wanted to come down to the conference room with me, have first dibs on the pastries,'' you said and he agreed.

You make your way back down to the conference room and no one's there yet to your surprise, so you just sit down and chat with Tony a little bit. Around 1:50 PM more Avengers are coming into the room, all of them very surprised at your attendance for this briefing. You give all of them a big hug and tell each of them how much you've missed them over the last few years. When Bucky walks in, your eyes light up immediately and you almost jump into his arms. ''Hi doll,'' he whispers in your ear, before giving a soft kiss behind it. ''Not here!'' you whisper back before giving him a big hug. You and Bucky have been in a friends-with-benefits relationship for around 7 years, and it still works out great for both of you, even though you don't see each other as often as you'd like.

The last one to enter the room is Steve, the person who asked you to join the mission. ''Hey Sunshine, you look gorgeous today,'' he says before pulling you in for a hug, which you happily give back to him. ''Thank you again for doing this,'' he said with your face in his hands. ''Of course, I'm glad I can help,''. you say before sitting down, and Steve starts the briefing. ''So, as you all have noticed, Y/N is here with a special reason. I've asked her to join us on this mission, because we could use her help, it's going to be a difficult one this time,'' he said before explaining the whole mission to everyone. When the briefing is over you quickly walk out of the conference room followed by Bucky, seeing how the briefing was shorter than intended. Steve wanted to tell you something, but you were gone before he had the chance.

~ During the mission ~

''Please, be careful Y/N!'' Steve said in your earpiece, making you roll your eyes. ''Steve, how many times do you need me to tell you I didn't want any special treatment? I can take care of myself! Now please be silent, otherwise, you don't have a sniper on this roof anymore,'' you sneer at him. You told him you didn't want any special treatment, you're the best sniper the Avengers ever had, and being a former assassin also worked heavily in your favor during this one. ''Sorry...'' he said with a soft voice, making Bucky chuckle next to you. ''It's unbelievable, even after all these years he's still overly protective over you,'' he said, never losing focus on the target. ''It's sweet, but it can be a bit much sometimes,'' you say with a sigh.

The mission was successful, and you were happy to be back on the quinjet so you could get out of your tactical gear. You were done sooner than expected so you let Pepper know that you would pick up Willow from school yourself. ''Why are you changing now, Sunshine, there's more than enough time to do it back at the Compound,'' Steve asked. You didn't quite hear who it was, so you just said ''I have to pick up Willow from school,'' and suddenly you heard multiple gasps behind you. ''Who's Willow?'' Steve asked curious. ''I-, uh... Well, it's a bit of a long story, but she's my daughter. She's almost 5 now, and the reason I retired without saying goodbye,'' you said with a deep crimson color on your face. ''When I was captured, HYDRA agents raped me and impregnated me to breed more super soldiers like me, and that is why I have a beautiful daughter named Willow now,'' you explained.

''HYDRA doesn't know about her existence, Tony made sure that all the evidence about her was wiped from their systems. He's also the only one who knew about her existence, as well as the fact that I retired to give her a beautiful life,'' you say with a combination of sadness, heartbreak, and proudness at the same time. ''I've practically raised her alone these last few years, but Tony helps out financially, after that mission it was hard for me to get out of the house and get a job, so thanks to him I am a stay-at-home-mom now,'' you say with a smile, thinking about Willow and everything that led to this point. ''I didn't know, I'm so sorry that happened to you,'' Steve said with tears in his eyes, pulling you in for a tight hug. ''It's okay Captain, I've been dealing with this for the last few years and have accepted that it happened, I can live without any regrets now. And honestly, it was kind of nice to get back into the field with all of you again,'' you say with a smile on your face.

~ 2 weeks later ~

Willow's school was closed for the day due to really bad weather, so you asked Steve if you could bring her by the Compound to meet all of the Avengers. Ever since you told them you have a daughter, they have all been dying to meet her. ''Are you ready to go meet some more of mine and Uncle Tony's friends?'' you ask her and she happily nods. She was wearing a brightly colored dress with her sparkling rain boots, which she wanted to show off to everyone. ''Alright, let's go then,'' you say and you walk her to your car and strap her in the car seat. It is about a 45-minute drive to the Compound and you're glad Willow fell asleep for a quick nap, so she would have more energy when meeting all of the Avengers. When you arrived she was still asleep, but you got her out anyways, she kept sleeping in your arms.

You entered the Compound with Willow in your arms, walking to the elevator. When the ding of the elevator sounded, she woke up and was a bit confused about where she was, but quickly remembered where you were going. ''Welcome back, baby, you fell asleep! Are you feeling better now?'' you ask before moving some curls out of her face, she happily nodded. When the elevator reached the floor where the living room was, you got out, excited to see everyone. You wore heels today so everyone heard you walking towards them. ''Hi everyone!'' you said and waved at them, not being able to give hugs with Willow in your arms. ''Hi...'' Willow said with a soft, shy voice, and it made you chuckle. ''Everyone, this is Willow, my beautiful daughter,'' you said with a proud look on your face.

Everyone came up to you and Willow and introduced themselves, and just like you, she took an immediate liking to two certain super soldiers. Bucky almost melted at how cute she is, making you wonder what happened to him. ''Are you okay, Buck?'' you say chuckling, and all he can do is nod and adore your daughter. When it is time to see Steve, she immediately stretches out her arms to be held by him, and you let her. ''Hi, I'm Steve! It's nice to meet you, Willow,'' he said. ''No, you're Captain America!'' she said and it made everyone laugh uncontrollably. ''You're completely right, I AM Captain America, but my real name is Steve,'' he explained to her, she listened intently to every word he said.

When she said hello to everyone and got settled a little, you sat down on the couch to talk with everyone, telling them all about Willow and how she was growing up. They couldn't get enough of her, and by the time it was dinner time, she was exhausted and fell asleep on your lap. ''Do you want to stay for dinner?'' Steve asked, and you happily agreed, you missed the family dinners with all of them, and now that Willow was there too, it was perfect. When it was finally time to go home, Steve walked you out. ''I'm glad to have met her, she's just like you,'' he said, softly brushing her cheek. You put her in your car seat and gave Steve a big hug. ''Thank you so much for inviting me to the mission, and showing me what I missed out on,'' you say and kiss him on his cheek, making him turn deep red. ''Still not over your crush, I see,'' you tease him, leaving him behind with a pair of wide eyes and confused about how you know about his crush. You stepped into your car and drove home, waving at him and thinking back to the amazing day you both had.

[twinsunstars]

Thoughts on The Bad Batch Episode 5 - The Return - A Discussion Post (PART 1)

This episode was so healing. It was really something I needed. Let's look back on an episode filled with family joy!

SPOILERS AHEAD IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE EPISODE YET! all screencaps are from cap-that.com! (https://www.cap-that.com/starwars/the-bad-batch/305/)

(NOTE: This post is split into two posts! I didn't know Tumblr had a limit to how many images you can add, and there's a lot I want to talk about in this episode. So here is Part 2 once you finish reading this one: LINK TO PART 2)

The episode opens with Omega sleeping safely in her room on the Marauder, the warm sun signaling her to awaken. Omega is safe and happy, having the real Lula to sleep with again.

Hunter and Wrecker are relaxing in the ship with some hot cups of tea, and Omega wonders where Crosshair is. I'm happy to see them relaxing after a long time of searching for Omega.

Crosshair is found on the beach, training with his sniper rifle. He has AZ to help him get a target, and AZ is happy to see Omega. I'm glad AZ is safe too since I've been wondering where he went after the finale of Season 2. Crosshair's hand keeps on trembling, and he sighs, worried about it. It's sad to see him this way, especially since he's the guy who never missed a target.

Crosshair still hasn't properly talked to Hunter, and Hunter and Wrecker keep their eyes on Crosshair. Omega tells Crosshair to relax and be patient, as things would eventually work out. She's really being their older sister.

Echo arrives on Pabu, and Omega immediately runs to see him again. I'm glad Echo finally came, the squad really needs the mom of the batch right now. Crosshair asks, "No hug for me?" Boy really needs one though.

The boys and Omega gather near Pabu's sunset, discussing the clones left on Mount Tantiss. All they have is Nala Se's datapad that Omega took to help her and Crosshair escape, but nothing else. Echo mentions Tech, and they all look down in silence. Tech was always the one who was able to figure things out, but now it's harder without him. Crosshair looks down sadly, and I could not get over this part. He lost his twin, and he wasn't even there for it. He didn't know when. All Crosshair can do is mourn like the others, but he never got to see Tech for one more time. The datapad is also shut down, so it's going to be even harder to use it.

Crosshair mentions that they can go to an Imperial facility that will be easy for them to use, and Hunter says that he will go with him and Echo, needing Omega and Wrecker to stay on Pabu. Omega has her heart set on rescuing the clones on Tantiss, and Hunter doesn't want to risk losing her again. After a little debate, Hunter lets Omega come with. Echo raised this girl right; she knows when to never give up.

While getting ready on Echo's ship, Crosshair and Hunter avoid each other like the plague, refusing to talk to each other. Honestly, I don't blame Hunter; Crosshair performed a lot of mistakes, but Hunter would need to talk to him.

Omega keeps talking to Crosshair, being the only one who Crosshair can trust right now. Omega calls him "little brother", and Crosshair smirks and lets out a small chuckle. I swear, Crosshair was so soft this episode.

Wrecker comes up to Crosshair and hands him a large crate with Crosshair's old armor inside. They never got rid of it, no matter how long Crosshair was gone.

They arrive on the planet Crosshair is directing them to, and it turns out to be the planet where Crosshair had killed that Imperial officer, and the same planet where Mayday died. A place now buried with even more snow. Crosshair puts on his old armor, and he looks better than never before.

Crosshair sees the same bird again flying overhead, and he often saw it throughout this episode. I love the symbolism with this bird, and now Crosshair is free.

As Batcher locates facility sensors and the team decide what to do next, Hunter and Crosshair begin to argue with each other. Echo breaks up the fight, since this is not the time for any. Omega scolds Crosshair, and Crosshair replies, "He started it." If that isn't peak sibling energy, I don't know what is.

They manage to get the facility open to hook the datapad up, while Hunter continues to watch Crosshair. Crosshair knows and senses this, but doesn't say a word.

Crosshair looks around and finds Mayday's helmet, along with the helmets of the other clone troopers Crosshair had met before. He puts them up, remembering his friend. Hunter watches him do this, but he doesn't know what happened here. Crosshair went through a lot here.

PART 2 OF DISCUSSION (explained above): https://www.tumblr.com/twinsunstars/744497062228492288/thoughts-on-the-bad-batch-episode-5-the-return?source=share

[itisme-rosie]

-- left unlocked; an au wherein beatrice decided to explore the world and as much as your mind wished to follow, your heart was rooted in the convent you were raised in.

cw: angst!! written with female!reader in mind; mentions of religious themes; reader who grew up in the convent and is questioning everything about herself and her feelings for bea; tried very hard not to include spoilers shown to me by tiktok edits (hold your horses i'm still about to start the 3rd episode of the 1st season).

[ hello, warrior nun fandom, please take me in i've been tweaking over kty for weeks now. ]

masterlist | rules

i fell in love with her here.

surrounded by stone walls and wooden pews, crucifixes and images of saints, and the aching reminder that in the world i was so immersed in, to be different was to be a sheep lost in the wilderness.

could it truly be a sin? i ask myself, hand fisted around the cross on my neck, head turned to the sky as if it would give you an answer - hoping, praying, begging.

could it truly be a sin to love?

soft, hesitant footsteps cut through my thoughts, until they stop. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 seconds pass with no sound of movement and i slowly turn. there she was. sister beatrice. beatrice. just bea when we're alone, i could hear her voice in my head.

"hello," i say simply, smiling at her. a terse silence surrounds the open space we were in, a tense smile crossing her lips.

"hello," beatrice returns the greeting and i let my eyes rake down the unfamiliar clothes she wore.

"are you going somewhere?" i ask, my smile wavering when she glances down at her shoes, "are you accompanying lilith on her trip - beatrice?"

she avoided my eyes. i didn't like that, i didn't like it one bit.

"i'm going on my own trip," beatrice explains in a matter-of-fact tone, the same one she uses when she explains something i know i know but pretend not to, just wanting to hear her.

no, no, no. i blink a few times as though it would rid my mind of the conflicting emotions, the unfamiliar feelings that burst in my stomach and send inexplicable bouts of happiness throughout my body. it didn't, of course. it never did.

"a trip," i parrot, dragging out the last word in a silent request to clarify.

"i'm leaving the convent,"

the fluttering in my stomach stops abruptly.

"leaving?"

"not forever,"

"leaving to go where? i thought -" i pause, shaking my head.

"not for forever," she repeats, "i'll come back,"

"that isn't what i asked, sister,"

i knew the title bothered her when beatrice didn't answer, producing a sweater from her bag and holding it out to me, slowly stepping closer, "hold on to it, a guarantee that i'll come back - and i will come back for it, so take care of it 'til i return, please,"

ever the obedient servant to all, i take it in my arms, hugging it close to me.

"but you could come with me," her voice was quiet, but i heard it clear as day and my stomach lurches and not in the way that it fluttered and made me a laugh.

"i can't leave, you know that," i shake my head, "besides -" i hug the sweater tighter against me, "- i'll be here when you get back, no matter how long,"

"what if i don't come back?"

the way my stomach clenches is painful. "then we have no reason to continue our friendship,"

"why?"

"i made a commitment to the church, bea - sister - beatrice," i clear my throat, "i'm not interested in keeping communications with people who cannot help me fulfill that commitment open - i won't stand for it,"

"would you rather we just end the friendship now, then? close all communications so i don't have any other reason to stay and come back?"

no, no, no. of course i wanted to go with her. my bones, my eyes, my curious mind, only surrounded by the stone walls of the convent longed to be fed by the world beyond it. but my heart, my poor, stubborn heart clung to the idea of the convent and its people as my home. without them, i wasn't myself.

i stiffen slightly, glancing down at the cloth in my arm and a half-hearted scoff leaves my lips.

"fine," i spit angrily. at least i hoped i sounded angry. i hoped i sounded hurt enough that beatrice would decide to stay if only to not hurt me, "consider this as me closing all communications with you, forever,"

bea blinks once, twice, three times. "forever?" she asks quietly and my mouth suddenly feels dry. i swallow thickly, nodding.

"from the second you walk out of the convent doors - away from me, then yes, yes, they will stay closed forever,"

"really?"

i don't think anything can compare, neither can anything properly describe how much my heart hurt when she turned with her bag away from me, not even waiting for an answer.

but the short, real answer was yes. yes, the door will stay closed the second she walked out.

the longer, real answer was that the door wouldn't even be locked. the longwinded explanation was that i would be waiting with the door unlocked, just in case, holding the sweater she left and the broken pieces she didn't even know she left. i would wait come hell or high water for her to turn the knob and walk in again.

the other short answer would be the reminder that even if the door locked itself one day, she always had the spare key.

[dump-the-ashes]

Overthinking Xena: Warrior Princess #3- Gabrielle created the multiverse

On account of it being Warrior Princess Day I wanted to post a crazy Xena theory I’ve been rolling with for a long time. So ok hear me out with this. What if XWP didn’t end exactly how we think it did and we were actually given 4 different endings to the show without knowing it. 

At the end of When Fates Collide, Gabrielle torched the loom of fate, it burned down, the Earth exploded, and the timeline that Caesar screwed up went back to normal. BUT WHAT IF IT DIDN’T?? What if when Gabrielle burned down the loom of fate, she actually created THE MULTIVERSE. In a weird way this theory really ties up some loose ends and helps make sense of a few inconsistencies.

Because of the multiverse being created, then the ending of When Fates Collide, and every episode afterwards (Many Happy Returns, Soul Possession, and A Friend in Need I & II) were each taking place in different universes. They are all self contained but also seem to have some plot holes, inconsistency, and their own histories to tell. So, each one of these episodes could be considered different versions of the series finale. What helps tie this together is that the final scene for each one of these episodes is a shot of Xena and Gabrielle leaving together in one way or another like a snapshot pointing out to us exactly how they are all the same moment in different timelines.

When Fates Collide:

This is the first universe we see after the loom is destroyed. Gabrielle is shown, back in her Battling Bard attire, wandering a misty forest. Xena rides up on Argo, and says: “You brought the world back to us.” And Gabrielle answers: “I’m glad. I like this one better.” She then lifts Gabrielle onto the saddle with her, and they ride off into the fog. 

It’s clear that they still have their memories from when the loom was tampered with. This is also the only episode where we see that they knew about what happened during that time. Because of this, I’m going to figure that this is the main branch of the Xena timeline. Everything in this timeline is as we’ve seen it throughout the show and when they ride off, that is the last that we see of our Xena and Gabrielle. This ending is the prime universe’s ending to the series. 

Many Happy Returns:

This episode is a pretty happy-go-lucky, light hearted time. Xena and Gabrielle are delivering the Helmet of Hermes to Thebes with some religious zealots, Aphrodite, and a new/old villain thrown in. The villain, Ferragus, says how he fought Xena in the past, but neither the audience or Xena remembers ever seeing him before. The tone of the episode even feels like an earlier episode from season 2 or 3. Gabrielle’s personality is even lighter here, like we would have seen her in the early seasons, but not after season 5.

What really stands out here is how present the gods are. Aphrodite is back in full swing, Xena has the Helmet of Hermes for some reason, and monotheistic zealots are running amok without any mention of who they are worshipping. This world may have been one where Xena never slayed the Olympian gods and Eli never became the Avatar of the One God. It’s possible that the duo even avoided Alti’s crucifixion prophecy or that they never might have met Dahak in Britannia. They then would never have gone to Heaven and Hell and the twilight of the gods wouldn’t have even been brought up by Dahak in the first place.

Soul Possession:

This episode is full of plot holes and mentions a lot of things that don’t match up with the official XWP timeline. How could Xena have been married to Ares from seasons 4-6 but it was never brought up once? Why would Gabrielle sell her soul to Ares so that he could save Hope? Especially when Gabrielle is the one who was trying to kill Hope and after all she had been through up to that point? What would Ares even do with a soul? And what happened to Hope’s explanation of Gabrielle falling into a ledge in the lava pit, then crawling out later before being taken to a hospice? Even Xena’s chakram switching between the old and new versions between shots could be part of this argument.

One theory of all this could be that because Joxer was the one who wrote the scroll that the episode is based on, then he could have made a few mistakes. Most things that don’t match up are actually happening during the scenes that he isn’t present for. But what if these aren’t mistakes at all? What if these are all the specific differences between this universe and the prime one? There is also no mention here of the vigilante Xena and Gabrielle clones from earlier in the season, even though that is definitely something that C.H.A.K.R.A.M. would be on top of. 

A Friend in Need:

This is obviously the main episode that everyone would love to be rewritten. And a lot of it actually is really out of place with the rest of Xena’s history. She visited Japan after going to China but before meeting Alti in Siberia. After Akemi’s death, however, Xena cut off all her hair. But it was seen as long again by the time she got to Siberia which could not have been too long after China in order to line up with Solan’s birth. In Japan, Xena is also responsible for the deaths of 40,000 people because of her burning down the village. This is not consistent with her admitting that Cirra was the only time she was responsible for this. If it also already happened in Higuchi on such a higher level then Callisto should not be as big of a sore spot to Xena as she is.

While it is possible that Xena went to Japan since she hints at it in Who’s Gurkhan, this universe might differ at her meeting Akemi and burning down Higuchi. It is also hard to believe that Xena would never have mentioned Akemi until now, or even hinted at knowing her, especially since she and Gabrielle were so much alike. This ending then was truly only ever the fate of the Xena who did do these things but not for the Xena that we see leaving with Gabrielle in the other 3 episodes.

So that’s it for my multiverse theory. It was a fun idea to jump onto before we’re all sick of the multiverse. I like this theory though because it’s a fun way to end the series. It also would leave a lot of doors open for a reboot, revival, or movie. Never gunna give that up. But anywho I’m super impressed if anyone made it to the end. I hope this got a few gears ticking in someone else’s head besides just mine. 

Happy Warrior Princess Day!

[badwritinghabit]

Chef's Kiss | Carmy x fem!OC x Luca | Chapter 5

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Warnings: This chapter swerves wildly away from canon. Luca comes to Chicago for a visit.

Word Count: 3,871

Summary: Sophie returns to The Bear to welcome Marcus home. She meets Luca who invites her to dinner.

Sophie had never really faced the feelings she had for Carmy before, always assuming nothing could come of it. And it left her reeling a little, the whiplash. But she tried to accept that Carmy had made a mistake. Caught up in the moment of nostalgia. And he had realized it wasn’t what he wanted.

Her call let her vent all of her feelings to Mallary. Her sister was mad, thought he was selfish and cruel. But Sophie found she couldn’t stay angry with him, not really. With Mikey, and the restaurant, and Carmy being Carmy, she couldn’t feel anything except heartbroken.

She was supposed to go into the restaurant again to talk about design decisions but when she begged off, claiming to need to see her sister, no one questioned her. And the next few weeks passed, quietly.

Carmy had called once to ask if she wanted to visit for a mini taste testing of some menu options Syd was trying out, but she could tell he felt awkward about it. She assumed Syd must’ve pushed him. But she couldn’t see him yet. So she made an excuse and he didn’t press her.

Her and Syd had gotten closer in the intervening weeks. Syd had called a few times asking for a chef friend to talk through recipes with since Carmy was busy. Sophie had jumped at the chance, desperately wanting to make more friends in her new city and happy to continue to bond with Syd. Thankfully the one time Syd asked her to come to the restaurant, she seemed to accept it without asking for an explanation when Sophie turned her down.

But Sophie didn’t want to avoid Carmy forever. He was her friend, still. Always. Even as she lay in bed the night he cooked for her and left her broken-hearted, she couldn’t help but remember how much Carmy had helped her. She didn’t want their friendship to end. She wanted to still be around to help him, if he needed it.

And she wanted to be there for Marcus's return. She was excited to hear what he had learned. They had been texting sporadically throughout his time abroad.

Early on in his travels they talked about making improved versions of desserts. He talked about cinnamon rolls and honey buns, making something that reminded him of his childhood. And Sophie had latched onto the idea after her sister had mentioned that she was craving cake pops. Sophie had toyed with a few recipes and ended up finding one she liked quite a bit. She decided to bring some in for Marcus and the others at The Bear as a sort of Welcome Back treat for Marcus. She thought it would get a laugh. And playing around with a recipe had been a good distraction.

She steeled herself as she walked in the front door and put on a smile. The restaurant was already so much farther along than the last time she'd seen it. "Wow. It's amazing in here," she said to Sydney, who walked over to give her a hug.

"Sophie!" Marcus exclaimed, walking over and pulling her into a bear hug after Syd released her.

"I missed you!" she said, hugging him back awkwardly, one arm still holding the glass bowl of cake pops. “How was Copenhagen? I need to hear everything,” she said excitedly. She stepped to the side slightly to place the bowl onto the table and realized someone was standing beside Marcus.

“Is this Sophie Miller?” She was slightly surprised by the British accent. She felt her cheeks warm immediately. Something about the way he said her name shot a thrill down her spine. He was tall, wearing a fitted t-shirt that made her look at his impressively muscled arms. His caramel blonde hair combed back into a swoop on top of his head. He was painfully attractive, though she pushed that thought aside. More importantly, something about him was familiar.

“That’s me,” she responded, with a confused smile.

“I have it on good authority that you are the best pâtissier in New York City.”

She laughed at that. “Where in the world did you hear that?” she asked with a grin, smile fading slightly as she turned to see Carmy had walked into the room.

Carmy looked embarrassed. “This is Chef Luca. I worked with him at Noma. And he helped Marcus in Copenhagen.”

“Chef,” she said in greeting, stepping forward to shake Luca’s hand. He returned it, his other hand clasping her wrist and holding her there for a second or two longer.

“What did you bring?” he asked, nodding towards the bowl she had placed on the table.

She had temporarily forgotten that she had brought them. She opened her mouth and shut it again before putting the heel of her hand against her forehead with a sigh.

His grin grew as he watched her.

“It is sort of a joke,” she said, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

“Are these–?” Marcus trailed off. She nodded to him and he chuckled. “Yes!” He laughed and grabbed one, looking it over.

“Cake pops?” Somehow it sounded even more absurd in his accent. Luca looked between the dessert and Sophie and she blushed.

“Marcus and I were challenging ourselves to try to make improved versions of some of our favorite popular desserts. I do get a hankering for a cake pop sometimes,” she trailed off.

“A hankering?” he asked, his accent making the word sound silly. “May I?” He was still looking at the dessert.

She nodded to him and pushed them closer. “Strawberry, white chocolate.” Luca and Marcus grabbed one each. She shifted on her feet, nervous to see Luca’s reaction. Carmy had walked over to grab one too and she felt her palms start to sweat. She had always appreciated his advice on her cooking. His palette was probably more precise than anyone she knew. And she trusted his critiques. He was blunt, but kind. Never judgmental or personal.

She forgot what it felt like to have him try her food. She was nervous.

“These are delicious,” Marcus said, finishing his bite. She smiled at him.

Luca had drawn her eye as he was looking up after finishing his. “This is really light. Almost like a shortcake.”

“Yeah I was trying to go for a less dense version. Whipped cream based frosting..”

“Marscapone?” he asked, his tongue running across his lower lip. As if he knew she was now staring at his lips, his mouth quirked into a grin.

She nodded. “Exactly.”

“It’s delicious,” he said and she smiled at him, feeling some of the tension melt away. The approval was surprisingly heartening, considering she didn’t really know him.

She glanced to Carmy, still silent. “Of course it’s amazing. You made it,” he said, voice sincere. She blushed, not knowing what to say. She glanced around, hoping to dodge having to respond to that statement.

“So what are you doing in the lovely city of Chicago?” she asked, changing the topic, and looking to Luca. Hoping to find out more about him. Marcus spoke so highly of him, she had been intrigued about his mentor. She didn’t think she’d get to meet him.

“Visiting friends, going to restaurants. I’m going to New York on Tuesday but thought I’d take the chance to see some old friends in Chicago before that.”

“Well it’s nice to meet you,” she said with a smile. “Are you and Marcus working on things here? Or can I steal him so I can hear about what he’s learned?”

“You go right ahead, I was going to talk to Carmy.” He grinned at her again and she swore he was looking at her a little longer than normal. Some suggestion in his eyes. She tried to ignore it, not wanting to assume some connection when it could very well just be her imagination.

“Marcus, are you going to share your dessert ideas?” Sophie asked, excited to hear more. And wanting to stop overthinking Luca’s friendliness.

“Yeah, I have three recipes ready,” he agreed immediately. “I can show you.” He pulled his notebook from his bag sitting on the counter. Sophie followed him to his station, watching from the corner of her eye as Luca walked over to Carmy to speak with him.

Sophie eagerly looked over Marcus’s sketches and notes. She was excited to try all of it. He had clearly done his research. She could feel his excitement as he talked through his new recipe ideas. She was happy for him.

The two talked for a while before Luca walked back and joined their discussion.

“What is the verdict? Do you think Copenhagen was worth it?” he asked, seeming to point the question more to Sophie.

“These look amazing. It seems like time well spent,” Sophie said, looking down at the notebook again to avoid holding Luca’s suddenly intense gaze.

“It was a great experience,” Marcus said. “I feel like I learned so much more there than I could have staying here.”

Sophie smiled at him. “I’m so glad. You deserve it. You are a fantastic chef.”

Syd called Marcus over to her and then Sophie and Luca were alone in the corner of the kitchen.

“Have you ever thought about visiting Copenhagen?” Luca asked, drawing her eyes back to his.

“I’ve heard good things,” she said. “I’m glad Marcus could make the journey. Thanks for taking care of him. It seems like this was just what he needed.”

“It was my pleasure. He is very talented.” He was smiling at her, eyes soft. “Well if you are ever traveling, you are always welcome in my kitchen.”

There was some edge to his words. A teasing lilt. Or a challenge. “Are you saying you could teach me, Chef Luca?”

“Oh I wouldn’t assume anything like that.” He was leaning on the table and she found herself leaning towards him as well. Luca grinned crookedly at her. “But maybe I could show you a thing or two.”

“Making big claims, chef,” she said, grinning up at him challengingly.

The sound of a door slamming closed made Sophie look away. Carmy had gone into the office. She looked back to Luca.

“Have you been to Honey and Grain?” he asked her, standing back to his full height. She hadn’t fully realized it until they got closer but he was very tall. Much taller than her.

She focused back on the conversation at hand. Honey and Grain was a restaurant that had opened a few years back in Wicker Park. She remembered hearing about it from some of the chefs at Ever when she was there. It came highly recommended.

“I have not. I haven’t been to too many restaurants since getting to Chicago, actually,” she admitted, suddenly self-conscious. In San Diego she had made it a priority to go to as many restaurants as she could. And she had made a lot of connections there. But in Chicago she felt more out of place.

“I’m going tonight. Would you care to join me?”

“Really?” she asked, eyes wide. “If you have an extra spot, I’d love to. Yeah,” she agreed quickly.

“Yeah?” he asked, looking a little surprised. “Great.” He pulled out his phone and asked for her number. He seemed excited. “The problem with having chef friends is that everyone is always working.”

Sophie laughed, nodding in agreement. “So I’ll meet you at the restaurant?”

“I can come pick you up,” he offered. “I rented a car while I’m here.”

She blushed, suddenly feeling like this was very much a date. But she realized it couldn’t be, really. He lived in Copenhagen. “That sounds good. I’ll send you my address.”

Luca left to grab tea –how very British of him– with another friend and Sophie stayed for a bit, chatting with Marcus and Syd. But she found she was eager to get home and get ready for dinner. She said her goodbyes and grabbed her things to leave.

“You’re going out with Luca?” Carmy asked. He caught her as she was leaving. She froze, hoping to avoid talking to him one on one. She wanted to be able to brush it all under the rug but she was nervous.

“Yeah. We’re going to Honey and Grain,” she said, overly exaggerating the name to sound elegant. “I don’t think I have clothes for the occasion but we’ll see what I can dig up.” She was a little proud that she sounded calm and direct, not at all like she was freaking out on the inside.

Carmy looked uncomfortable and Sophie was worried.

“He’s your friend, right? He’s a good guy?” She worried that something was wrong.

“Yeah, he’s a great guy,” he agreed.

“Nothing’s wrong?” she asked. They had long ago adopted this phrase as a quick check in. A way to reaffirm that things were okay between them. Both of them had learned they shared a tendency to anxiously react. It was easier to be direct.

He was still looking at her, in that way that made her heart race. She wished she knew what he was thinking.

“Nothing’s wrong, Soph,” he agreed. But for the first time, she wasn’t sure she believed him. They stood, awkward tension still between them.

“Well, I’ll see you next week.” She had already agreed to come in to help Syd and Carmy pick plates and tableware and she thought it would be a good neutral way to get back to comfortable ground. She wanted to be able to help him with his restaurant, she really did.

She was finally looking at him and she realized he looked exhausted. His mouth in a tight, worried line. His eyes dark. She wanted to help him, like he had helped her so many times.

She took a breath. “I’m excited to meet Claire.” She added. She was nervous, unsure what he had told Claire about the situation, but she wanted to be happy for Carmy. Wanted to try and tell him that she could move past it without any hard feelings. That if he was worried about their friendship, he didn’t need to be.

He shrugged and took the cloth from his shoulder and gripped it in his hands. “I feel like I’m missing too much,” he said.

“At the restaurant?” she asked. He nodded and she sighed. “I know it is a lot to balance. But you can figure it out. And I’m sure Claire understands if you need to spend more time here, at least until things get settled,” she said, trying to be supportive. He looked unconvinced and she nudged him gently with her shoulder. “You can do it. And you have a lot of people who are here to help.” She grinned at him, hoping to see him lighten up. And he did, a little. His mouth quirked up at the corner.

“Thanks, Soph. Have a good night,” he said before returning to work.

"See ya, Carm," she called out. Proud of herself. Knowing it had felt nerve wracking in the beginning, but feeling like her and Carm had been friends for long enough she could still talk to him and not have it be weird. They could move past this.

---

She dug hastily through her closet to find something appropriate for a date to a fancy restaurant with a man she had just met a few hours earlier. She eventually settled on a simple black dress her sister had gifted her for her birthday the prior year. It was easily the most elegant item of clothing she owned. She looked in the mirror and was satisfied. Settling on a classic smokey eye and pale lip, she felt fairly confident by the time she was done with her makeup. She ended up picking small heels, figuring she'd probably have to walk enough that wearing anything taller wouldn't be worth it. Besides, he would tower over her anyways. She was slipping the dress on again when she got a call.

Luca’s name flashed across the screen.

“Hello?” she answered, breathless for no reason at all.

“Sophie, this is Luca,” he paused and she felt the same flare of something at the sound of him saying her name, “I’m just downstairs.”

She groaned. “I’m running a bit behind. Were you able to find a parking spot? Maybe you could come up for a second?” She was straightening her dress with her free hand, suddenly nervous. She glanced at the time on her phone quickly.

“I’m a little early,” he replied amiably. “I can come up. Which apartment?”

“4. Actually, I’ll run down, the buzzer hasn’t been working.” She remembered and corrected herself.

His dry chuckle warmed her cheeks. She heard as he closed his car door so she headed to her own door, ignoring her shoes to save time, and instead running down in her house slippers.

She pulled open the door quickly. She was met with a grin by Luca. He was wearing a sports jacket over a navy shirt. She was immediately drawn to his eyes, the blue more pronounced against his shirt.

She realized she still had her phone to her ear. “Hi.” She waved, awkwardly, with her phone for a half a second before realizing she was being strange and motioned behind her towards her apartment. “I’m up here.” She smiled through her nerves.

“I like your shoes,” he teased, gently.

She laughed, relaxing into his company. “Slippers are on trend for fine dining, haven't you heard?” she asked as she reached the top of the stairs and popped a foot out behind her.

She led him to her apartment and apologized quickly.

“Almost ready. Just have to grab my bag. And my shoes. Feel free to be nosy,” she called out with a smile as she ran back towards her room.

“Way ahead of you,” he said, heading over to her small bookcase and cataloging the titles. Cookbooks. Of course. A few textbooks. Some contemporary novels.

“Almost ready.” She grinned at him, walking over to the door to slide her heels on. “Find anything good?”

“Syntax textbook?” he asked, nodding towards the small stack of textbooks at the bottom of her shelf.

“Ah yeah. I went to college for Computer Science– well, Natural Language Processing and Linguistics. For a bit,” she conceded, sliding her left shoe on and standing up straight. She caught him glancing down at her legs and back up to her eyes, the flash of embarrassment was overridden by the warm tingly feeling of his eyes on her.

“For a bit?” he asked, curiously.

“Yeah, I dropped out Sophomore year and went to culinary school,” she said with a soft smile, more to herself than anything.

“I am so curious about this career path,” he said, looking at her with genuine curiosity. She was blushing again.

“Not too much of a story. I can share on the way though?” she asked, with a smile. She walked over to the door to let them out.

“Right, let’s go,” he said, seemingly forgetting for a moment they were on their way to a restaurant. He smiled and walked past her and the smell of his cologne filled her nose. Warm, and dark, almost smoky. He smelled good. She realized she had lost focus and quickly stepped out and locked the door behind her, hoping he hadn’t noticed anything.

He was charming the entire drive, asking about her life and sharing pieces of his own. It felt surprisingly comfortable. Being with Luca came so naturally it was like they had been friends for years by the time they got to the restaurant.

One they arrived, Luca was a gentleman in a way that made Sophie a little nervous. He opened the doors for her and pulled out her chair. She felt pressure to be the kind of person who would be taken to a date at one of the most well regarded and exclusive restaurants in Chicago. She hadn’t been on a date in such a long time that she felt out of her element.

She found herself at least temporarily distracted by the beauty of the restaurant. The dim lighting, beautifully laid tables, warm and surprisingly homey feeling decor. It wasn’t the cold, immaculate white linen and emotionless art she had imagined it would be when she had heard about the restaurant.

As if he could tell she was feeling uncomfortable, he smiled at her kindly. “A friend of mine works here. Chef Murray. I am looking forward to trying his cooking.”

“I’ve heard nothing but amazing things,” she said, glad to be talking about food. “And I really like the design of the restaurant. I think I was imagining some of the restaurants I went to in San Diego. This is a lot more–homey.”

“Luca.” A man with a very heavy Scottish accent had approached their table and was reaching out to Luca. He immediately stood and embraced the man, clapping him on the back. Sophie hesitated but followed him and stood, holding out a hand with a smile. He shook his head and pulled her in for a hug.

“Glad to hear Luca brought along a lass. Can’t have him eating on his own in Chicago,” he said with a grin, raising his bushy eyebrows at Luca who gave him a look.

Sophie was laughing, feeling immediately comforted by this loud, outgoing man with his charming Scottish accent. “Your restaurant is beautiful,” she said to him.

He beamed at her. “Thank you. But I will need to hear the review after you try the food.” He turned back to Luca. “I hope you both enjoy.” He once again clapped Luca on the shoulder and walked quickly away.

“He’s a lot.” Luca said, with a quirk of his mouth. She found herself looking at his lips before responding.

“I really like him,” she said genuinely. “I feel like I’m going to enjoy his food.”

She did. The food was amazing. And the waiter kept coming around to fill their glasses of wine. She found herself in a little bubble with Luca, smiling and laughing throughout the meal. Discussing their own restaurant experiences. Excitedly complimenting and talking through each dish. She found herself feeling lighter than she had in months. He was just so kind and warm.

At the end of the night, the two of them stepped out into the cool night air. She kept stealing glances at him, smiling when their eyes met. She knew he was only going to be in Chicago for three nights. Knew this couldn’t be a relationship of any kind. But they were flirting, right? The grins and the giggles and the compliments. It felt like flirting.

“That was amazing,” she said, feeling as if she was repeating herself but wanting to fill the silence with something.

“It was,” he agreed, his eyes burning into hers. He seemed to hesitate a second. “My hotel is near here. If you’d like to come up –”

“Yeah. Yes. I’d like that,” she responded quickly, too quickly. She felt her cheeks burn. But then he was smiling at her again, his whole face lighting up. And she couldn’t feel embarrassed for long.

[rockyroadsmith]

The Searchers' love language?

Heya! Thank you so much for the ask! I’m so sorry, I tried to think of what I could draw to go along with this, but most required I draw each Searcher with their loved one and I wasn’t sure who to draw them with. XP I’ve heard of the 5 love languages before, but never actually looked them up so this was neat to learn about! For other people who aren’t sure, the 5 love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. It’s really fun to think about how these fit in the Monster Rancher cast!

Alright, let’s do this! X3

Genki: I think I have to go with “quality time” for Genki. We don’t get to see much of Genki spending one-on-one time with his friends since they’re usually always together as a group, but we can see that he loves being on the same page as his friends and I think if he were in a relationship, quality time together would be a must. Genki would want to know how his significant other’s day was, how they’re feeling, and literally anything that came to mind. Friendship is really important to Genki, but he’d learn quickly that so is a romantic relationship, too, so he’d have to learn to balance both. In episode 64 “Legend of the Great White Most”, we see that while the monsters are off training, Genki and Holly are having dessert together. We see that he misses the others but, after encouragement from Holly, he brightens up and they continue to have a good day together. In episode 31 “Amusement Park Ruins”, Genki tries his best to make sure Holly has a good time by trying to get the tea cup ride to work and even though it’s broken, Genki’s priority was still Holly and they still were able to have some quality time together. Such a cute moment! :3

Holly: for Holly, I’m gonna have to go with “acts of service”. Throughout the series, Holly is the main caretaker of the group and is usually the one we see doing things like the cooking and tending to the other Searchers’ wounds without getting thanks. When the others go out of their way to do something kind in return, however, you can see how much it means to her. In episode 24 “Undine’s Lake”, Holly has hurt her ankle and feels guilty about slowing the group down. To help her out, Genki places a wet rag on her hurt ankle while Golem gets some healing herbs for her, and you can see in both instances that it meant a lot to her. A big moment of this can be seen in episode 37 “Holly’s Happy Birthday”, when the Searchers surprise Holly with a little party for her birthday, Holly is so touched that she tears up. I can see if she were in a relationship, that Holly couldn’t help her nurturing nature and would still act as a caretaker, so receiving acts of service from her significant other would really mean a lot to her. ^_^

Mocchi: I think Mocchi fits so well into all of the love languages! For this ask, I’ll go with “receiving gifts”, since we see many times in the series his reaction to getting things is too adorable. When Golem gives Mocchi food in episode 4 “Eternal Worm”, the way Mocchi’s face lights up and his tone when thanking Golem just melts your heart! Mocchi would definitely love gifts of food best! Not so much a gift but, in episode 32 “Holly’s Million Gold Smile”, Mocchi’s reaction to getting the cape that can “make you fly” gets me every time. He’s so freaking psyched, like he just won the lottery, and seeing him running along the beach with the cape on is enough to make you squeal into a pillow from cuteness overload. XD

Suezo: even though I almost put “physical touch” for Suezo since he’s a bit of a pervert, I think his would actually be “words of affirmation”. Throughout the series, we see a lot of moments of Suezo being arrogant and sarcastic, but a lot of this stems from his own insecurities. Although he puts on a brave front, Suezo is often seen to have a lot of self-doubt about himself, like we see in episode 19 “Suezo’s Secret Weapon”. He even goes as far as to mention that he misses when it was just him and Holly since he feels so insignificant compared to the other Searchers. I think Suezo needs loving and encouraging words from his partner to keep him from getting negative about himself and it’s something that he would secretly treasure behind a mask of perverted comments. XD

Golem: I think Golem would like “quality time” the most. He spent a long time alone guarding the Lost Discs at the ruins when Genki first meets him, and we see him really open up the longer he travels with the Searchers. He may not speak a whole lot, but he loves to listen to those he cares about and does talk a lot more to those he trusts. Even in episode 24 “Undine’s Lake”, he enjoyed talking with Undine at the lakeside and even though he wouldn’t enter the water to physically be with her, he was more than happy just talking on shore and enjoying the moment of serenity. ^_^

Tiger: at first I was going to go with “words of affirmation” for Tiger since we see he loves to be praised but, after thinking about it more romantically, I have to go with “physical touch”. At the very end of episode 51 “Battle for the Rookie Cup”, the Searchers finally reunite with Tiger. He gets angry when everyone grabs onto him, but it’s different with Holly. As Holly approaches him, his face lights up and you can literally see him melt when she starts to stroke his fur. Then, when she brings him in for a tender hug, Tiger just leans into it and smiles. This is such a rare moment where we see Tiger so happy and relaxed, it’s so darn sweet! Then the other Searchers make comment about it, causing Tiger to blush and get defensive. He wouldn’t let just anyone touch him like that unless they were special to him and it really showed just how much he really enjoyed physical affection. :3

Hare: even though we know Hare loves gold so at first I thought “receiving gifts”, I think I have to go with “physical touch” for him when we’re talking about romance. I say this mostly because of episode 37 “Holly’s Happy Birthday”, when Mocchi gives Holly a peck on the cheek, Hare’s immediate action is to launch himself at Holly to get a kiss for himself. There are hints throughout the series that Hare has some feelings for Holly and even though he’s typically a very guarded character, in this moment he completely throws that aside and lets his guard down in hopes of getting a kiss from Holly. ^_^

[ionlyseeu]

Submerged (Namor x F reader)

Chapter 5

Final chapter

@lilikan ily for all your support and comments and wish you the best always in your life you kind, kind human 😭❤️

@forevermoremagcon tagged 🤭🥰

For previous chapter 4 see here

Hi guys, thanks for all your support, likes and comments. It’s time for a little romance. We want our main character to be happy right? We want her to be successful. Just like I want myself and you to be successful.

Time jump, to 5 years later.

———/—— 5 years later, USA

I flew back in my seat as the new stats came in. I’d started my business 3 years ago, it was small at first but thanks to the power of the internet it soon became very, very popular and I had quit my main corporate job a year ago to manage my stocks from home. I was busy for the last few years, hiring near a hundred people to help me and finally, after giving over operating control to my trusted hire Matt who had been with me from the start, I could relax. I only really had to look over the reviews, see everything was running smoothly and I relaxed into a comfort I’d only dreamt of achieving.

I’d changed during the last 5 years, I’d seen new people, changed my hair multiple times. Being insanely rich was something I not so humbly had always wanted for myself. Within the moments of success, I’d found a peace within my soul, a calm, a rest. I no longer felt as if I wasn’t a whole being, a forgotten factor, a jigsaw piece with no picture to fit into, instead I trusted myself. I was ready for anything, I’d learnt how to swim as well, I practiced intensely nearly everyday of the week. But, I never swam in the ocean, NYC was not exactly ideal for an ocean side swim. I hadn’t been to the beach since I was on the island back then when it all happened.

I picked out my bagel, topped with cream cheese and salmon, a classic I couldn’t go without, when a brightly coloured postcard popped into my peripheral. Mia had constantly been sending me these throughout the years keeping me up to date on any news. She never mentioned him out of respect for me. She didn’t want to intrude on anything between us. She’d been pretty busy anyway with the baby and all. That’s right, she had given birth to a beautiful girl called Nazim who was spoilt rotten by Attuma. I’d gone to visit them at her birth but hadn’t seen Namor.

Attuma and Mia never tried to preen in or offer advice to me on the case of Namor. Not that I would have turned it down, in fact, on the inside I was begging for someone to shake me and tell me to see just him, to just swallow whatever was holding me back. The thing is, every person I met, every guy I dated, any sex I had with them, any conversation, any joke I pretended to laugh at, nothing compared to him. I didn’t mind admitting it to myself, I was at the top of my game, so young and yet so achieved, I allowed myself to examine the feelings I had filtered out of my periphery back then. How long could I pretend he wasn’t the one for me?

I picked up the postcard, the photo of the waves of the beach in front of the house, I flipped it over.

Hey baby girl!

You did so well for yourself and I’m so proud of you! Attuma too, he’s just learnt the word ‘Boss’ bitch and wants to extend the congrats - but he wants to mention that he doesn’t support the use of the second part of the phrase. Lol.

Nazim has grown up so much since the last time you were here.

We miss you.

You know who else is missing you, always - I’m sorry to bring it up.

Come back home.

Don’t you think it’s time to return?

Love you always,

Mia x

A heavy sigh left my lips and my shoulders relaxed, the only burden I’d faced over the last 5 years was starting to shake away from my shoulders.

It was time, Mia was right as always. I had to go home.

I messaged Matt at lunch to meet at our head office. He greeted me with a large green juice and a pack of sushi which I accepted gratefully. Matt was the best, a great looking guy with an excellent personality who I’d have been crushing on if I had never met Namor.

‘Fancy seeing you here’ Matt started sitting in the seat opposite mine.

‘Don’t worry I’m not here to fire you today’ I smiled joking, ‘I have to go away for a while and need you to take care of everything for me’

He raised an eyebrow at this, ‘How long is a while?’

‘An indefinite amount of time right now but… I won’t be able to answer calls or anything like that- basically no access’

‘Is something going on?’ He sounded worried.

I laughed lightly with a genuine smile spreading across my face as I assured him, ‘No, no need to be worried, I’m just doing something I’ve been putting off for 5 years’

Matt looked a me quizzically, ‘Don’t tell me you’re dying’

I laughed harder, ‘Don’t be ridiculous, I’m going back to my home country! But hey listen, I really need you to do this, I’ll throw in an increase in salary and a bonus on top I swear’

‘Will you make it a good one?’ He asked with mock excitement.

‘Don’t act like I don’t pay you big bills Matt, I know you’re rolling in it right now.’ He beamed at me as I shook my head laughing.

‘But anyway, are you going to tell me what you’re up to?’

‘No, mind your own business’ I taunted as I hit him arm lightly and went to grab my coat and bag.

‘I can drop you at the airport’ he offered.

‘Matt I have a driver for that’ I scoffed.

‘Fine’ he rolled his eyes throwing his arms in the air, ‘See you when I see you boss’

I was on the flight in the next few hours.

—————

When I got to the mainland of my home town I didn’t immediately go to the beach and start begging like a part of me wanted to do. I had more self respect than that now but the thought still wafted through my mind. Instead, I dropped my bags off at the house. I hadn’t hit up Mia or Attuma who were always halfway between the land and water and didn’t even live at my grandma’s house anymore but instead in a Talokanis outhouse which Attuma had engineered.

I regretted that I hadn’t contacted them now that I took in the state of the house covered in dust. I should’ve called someone in to clean it. I groaned into myself. Taking out the mainline phone, I ordered some takeaway then pulled my suitcase up the stairs and started unpacking and setting up my desktop.

Pulling my hair into a bun I even dusted the entire house before the doorbell rang. Running to get it, I caught my foot on the staircase foot and fell to the floor. There was certainly a scream let’s just say and I clutched my ankle which panged. I still lifted myself up and trudged to the door to collect my takeaway because the call to eat was more demanding than the pain.

I ate in silence as I thought over my next plan of action. Should I go now? Would he still have me? Should I wear makeup?

I sighed as the stream of thoughts became more shallow and materialistic running into deeper anxieties that seemed inevitable for me to face.

I thought of this as I pulled ice from the freezer and put it over my ankle to get into bed. The exhaustion from the day soon cast a restful sleep over me.

I knew what I was doing, I just had to be confident in myself.

I was asleep for two hours at least when I heard a disturbance.

I shot up in bed immediately and reached for the bedside lamp.

Just as I reached for it, a cool dark arm reached out to steady me and the scent, the scent, the one etched into my mind of something so masculine, sea foam, mint and salted lemons engulfed me.

‘You came back’ Namor stated staring at me as I took in the outline of his form in the darkness with the help of the moonlight shining through the balcony.

I reached out to him and grasped his arm pulling him in as he obliged me, sinking over me in the bed as I pressed a deep kiss to his lips and felt his face, breathing in his scent. I pulled away, saying ‘I missed you’ over and over as I kissed over his face and neck and felt through his thick hair which felt just as wavy as I had remembered it to be. He pulled me up and into his arms as he hugged me tightly, afraid I wasn’t real, afraid I’d disappear.

‘5 years’ he gasped sounding exhausted, ‘don’t do that to me again’

I giggled as I made a promise not to then proceeded to rub his shoulder and kiss his neck as he melted into me.

‘What happened here?’ He said as the ice pack now half melted sludged to the side.

‘Oh I fell- hurt my ankle’ he gently pressed over my ankle and felt it’s swollen surface. Embarrassed I tried to pull it away, ‘don’t look at that!’

He ignored my complaints and continued investigating the site as if it were the most important matter to be looked over.

‘Don’t try to pull away’ he stated shooting me a quick glanceand then returned to massage my ankle.

I tried to relax my stiff body. Out of all the reunions I had imagined over the last 5 years, surely he had more in mind just as I did.

‘Wouldn’t you rather be kissing me than doing that?’ I asked.

He simply smiled as he continued his activities working along my leg.

‘I missed you’ I repeated again, he didn’t stop what he was doing, ‘I wanted to come back’, he focused intensely on the ankle and not me, ‘I just had so much to do-‘

‘I know’ he admitted softly looking back at me with eyes full of hope, ‘I wanted you to take your time’.

I sighed, ‘What’s wrong Namor?’ I reached over and felt his face, ‘I’m back now and I’m not exactly planning to leave anytime soon’.

It was his turn to sigh as he lowered his head, leaning forward and falling into my lap.

Immediately my hands combed through his waves as he clung to me, ‘I have lived for longer than a man should, I have seen many come and many go, 5 years was nothing before I met you.’

I allowed him to rest on me. His entire body, all muscle, sinew and dark skin sinking into me in the moonlight.

‘Are you real?’ I whispered. He wasn’t asleep as I thought he’d been, instead his face looked up at me, ‘You are so beautiful’ I said to him, then pressed my lips to his, he pulled back and grinned, ‘I think that’s my line’.

I prodded his nose drew my fingers across his eyebrows and lips as he watched me intensely.

‘You are beautiful.’ He spoke slowly, taking me in, ‘you’ve changed much and your hair’ he pulled his fingers through the length, ‘It’s very pretty on you my love’.

‘Oh you like my hair?’ I laughed, ‘Years of not seeing me and my hair is what’s making you so excited about my appearance’.

I mock prodded my finger against his forehead as he beamed at me.

‘Yeah well there could be some improvements…’ he drawled staring at my lips.

I clutched my chest in fake insult, ‘Like what exactly and don’t say anything dirty’.

He laughed at this, ‘Well you could be wearing pink’ he pointed out.

‘What is with you and this pink obsession, back then you’d only pick pink dresses for me as well! If you like it so much you should wear it’ i nagged him, shaking his chin as he looked up at me.

‘I like seeing you in pink because it’s complimentary to my green’ he stated.

‘What?’

‘Complimentary colours, the colour wheel, yeah we have books in Talokan’ he shrugged his shoulders.

‘Wait this entire time you wanted me in pink to match what you were wearing?’ I asked incredulously and taken aback.

‘Also you look real fucking pretty in pink’ he groaned as he pulled me in for a kiss. I giggled into it, I liked that shit, I liked how he considered things like that. It made me feel special, cared for.

He flipped me so he was lying on his back and I was straddling his hips on top.

‘If I remember correctly, you like having me like this right?’ He spoke smugly.

‘Oh you want me to fuck you? Right now? Is that it?’ I jokingly slapped his chest. He steadied my hands against him.

‘Honestly’ he drawled, ‘Yes’. Then he dragged my hands down his torso slowly.

I gulped in excitement. I loved that his chest was nearly always bare. His toned body, in my bed, I was definitely squashing my self respect tonight. This was something that ran through my mind for the last 5 years and lord I was happy to do his bidding.

I edged on his green shorts, fingers dipping beneath the top of the brief, looking up into his hooded eyes, his lips were parted in anticipation.

‘Have you been with anyone?’ I asked teasing as I pulled his cloth off.

‘No’, his dick, fully erect bounced up, ‘not since I’ve known you’, I slid off his cloth completely, mouth lowering to his tip.

‘I only want you’ he whispered unable to look away as I whipped my tongue out and swirled around his pink nub. He groaned as if pained, pleasure racked through him and his hands reached for my hair.

But I pulled back, ‘I’m only gonna kiss it’, I laughed then and he groaned back and I did as I said I would.

He grew impatient and pulled me up onto him again. I giggled with the movements and jolted up when his hard on pressed into my crotch by my shorts.

My fingers played with his pearls, the blue adornments and all the jade at his neck.

‘Take them off me’ he grunted under me.

‘No, I want you to wear them while you do me’. He pulled me into a kiss then, his hands around my hips as he ground me into him.

‘Then take off your shorts’ he demanded.

I wanted to look sexy but I slid them off awkwardly and clumsily, he grinned at this.

‘Don’t laugh at me’ I groaned.

‘I’m not’ he swore as his face scrunched and he put his hand over to cover his laughter.

‘I can see you laughing!’ I moaned.

He wiped his face and attempted to look more serious, ‘Come here’

I followed his command coming to sit over his lap again, my pussy rubbing over him. We both sighed in pleasure at the closeness of our being.

‘Sit on my face’ he said, ‘take off your top too’.

Pulling it over my head I looked at him below me nervously, I didn’t want to crush him, I’d never done this before.

Noticing my worry, he pulled me into a comforting kiss them mumbled in a passioned haze, ‘You’ll love it, I wanna taste you’

‘I don’t want to crush you’ I responded in worry.

He laughed, ‘Yeah, I wouldn’t worry about that’

He pulled me up higher as I settled on his face with a moan. He gripped both my thighs and I melted into the feeling of his lips and nose under my pussy. He started eating me out, slowly circling my clit. I moaned more as he quickened the laps his tongue made, sliding down and edging my entrance. I gasped as it entered me, his tongue fucking into me then slowly sliding out as pleasure racked through my being. My back arched as his hands moved me to grind over his face, I’d never experienced such a feeling of euphoria.

‘Namor’ I screamed his name as I orgasmed, my wetness spreading over and out of my pussy as he licked, tasted and savoured every last drop.

I fell to my side and off him as a thin sheen of sweat erupted over my body. Namor however seemed to have different plans, ‘I’m not done with you yet’ was heard as he reached over and pushed on top of me pulling me onto my back on the bed. I looked up at him and was met back with a mixture of love, lust and adoration in his eyes. He kissed me fully, deeply and his kisses travelled to my neck as my head pulled back in response allowing access as he bit down on my pleasure points pulling lewd sounds from me.

I pushed him near my breasts and he grinned at this, ‘Relax my love’ he looked down at them, ‘I was just about to get there’. He eyed me for a moment and my breath caught as he lunged down to take one of my nipples between his teeth.

‘Fuck Namor..’ I groaned.

His tongue moved expertly over as he massaged feeling over the skin, the nub, squeezing and it had me pressing my legs together. He parted them with his own, kneeing my groin as he continued on my breasts gruffly professing, ‘I want you’ between kisses against my skin.

He rose up to my face and settled himself between my legs. I positioned a pillow behind me and half propped myself up to lower myself into him but he paused.

I looked up at him and saw the expression on his face was now serious.

‘What is it Namor?’ I asked.

‘I don’t think I can have sex with you’ he stated.

I laughed incredulously, ‘Why?’

The look of loneliness entered his eyes then and a longing so deep I felt myself being sucked into the black of his eyes.

‘Because if I do….’ He sounded, ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to let you go’

A beat passed

‘I don’t want you to let me go.’ I leaned forward and rubbed his arm, ‘I have everything I’ve always wanted, worked for, but I never thought I’d be saying there’s something, someone missing in my life. Then you came around, the thought of you had driven me crazy, do you know how often I compare others I meet to you? They always fall short. No one can be you. What you mean to me….You saved my life when you found me drowning. I want to spend my life with you.’

Hearing my words with eyes focused on my face he sighed, looked down at his hands and pressed between his joints, ‘Tell me more’

I grinned watching him as a small smile threatened to slip onto his lips, ‘Well, you’re really making me work for it this time aren’t you?’

His slow smile spread into a grin, ‘It’s only fair after the madness you put me through these year waiting for you’

I reached up and ruffled his hair, ‘I’m sorry, I should have come back sooner’

He stopped my hand and pulled it so I came to sit onto his lap. The cold metal of his adornments hitting my bare chest.

‘Damn right you should have’ he said pressing a kiss to my shoulder, ‘We could have been doing this a long while ago’.

I was aware of his hard on poking at me underneath.

‘I’m gonna cut to the chase if you don’t mind’ I pressed as I reached my hand down and took his length in my hand then lowered myself onto him.

The pain was immediately felt as only the tip entered, thick and long. I whimpered as he hushed me stroking my hair.

‘It’s okay’ he comforted easing in more as I winced and grabbed his shoulders for support, ‘You can take it’.

‘Easy for you to say’ I spat out as I attempted to pull together my resolve, ‘Put it in, please’

He pushed his entire member in me then in one swift motion and I huffed as the pain erupted through me, ‘Fuck, Namor!’.

He met my gaze, ‘For such a freak in the bed you really are tight’ he groaned as his dick twitched in me. I felt myself easing to his size. I mean I was wet as ever between my legs and I’d had plenty of these experiences before but I hadn’t exactly had someone of Namor’s size in my life.

‘Be quiet and just fucking move’ I groaned as tinge of pleasure pulsed through spreading goose flesh across my skin.

‘Anything for you’ he grunted as he lifted my hips and slammed me down on his dick, pleasure erupted over me and I yelped in surprise. Namor looking in my eyes, again lifted me and fucked me over and over.

I leaned back writhing in the feeling of him filling me, he took the chance to steady me, holding my neck in his hands and continuously fucked me.

‘You feel so good mi preciousa’ his gruff voice filled my ears, ‘Say my name’

‘Namor’

He pushed himself into me harder and faster quickening his pace.

‘Namor’

He laid me on the bed and raised my legs over his shoulders as he did me with more access. His dick reached another level of my pleasure point.

The bundle of nerves burst and I screamed his name again.

‘Namor’ I groaned.

He quickened his pace and pumped into me, I screamed as I orgasmed hard.

He continued fucking into me groaning and grunting as he came, his seed filled me.

I made no moves to get him off, instead choosing to run my hands through his hair and over his back. He pressed into my neck and smelled me deeply.

‘Don’t leave again’ Namor voiced.

‘I know you wouldn’t let me’ I laughed.

He was serious though, ‘No, I’d let you do what you wanted always’ he moved himself up to look at me seriously, his member was still in me, ‘I just don’t know what I’d become if you were to leave’

I ran my fingers across his cheek and pulled him into a kiss whispering my promise, ‘I won’t leave’

He pulled out and his seed seeped from me. He pulled back and stared at my naked being in this state as if imprinting it into memory.

We later fell asleep in each-others’ arms but between the embers of sleep I whispered to him, ‘I love you’.

He pulled me tighter to his chest, ‘I love you more’.

I breathed him in. Ocean, salt, lemongrass and the masculine scent of his being permeated through me. I’d never been more sure of something in my life.

🙂 hope you enjoyed that guys PLEASE like my little story 🥺

I was in a silly goofy mood and decided to write a 30k Namor fanfiction but your feedback and interactions mean the most 🤗😥

[greenlikethesea]

five songs you listen to - greenie gets personal edition

🎶✨ when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to. then send this ask or tag 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)✨🎶

tagged by @tolkientrash! thank you!

i just did one of these, but i think that whenever i’m tagged, i’m gonna do one of these. i do listen to these songs on the regular, but these hold very specific memories for me. get ready! i like writing them, and you all seem to like them. maybe they’re self indulgent, but it’s been nice to share. I have a few tags to catch up on and I will get there!

1. Whiskey - Nicole Reynolds

when i was newly 19, i went to a house party that was also sort of a jam session, a few blocks away from my house. i brought my ukulele, inside my big coat because i didn’t have a case for it, even though i only knew a few chords. there was a girl there -- we’ll call her b -- that intrigued me, but i wasn’t sure why. my own feelings about girls were rich and complicated, having been burned by my ex-girlfriend in high school, but i wanted her to notice me. after a while of mingling, i ducked into a side room, where she was fiddling around on her guitar -- a far better player than i ever will be. she started playing this song, whiskey, a tune about loving someone despite their flaws. the tune is easy to discern, so i was able to pick up a harmony pretty quickly, and our eyes met. i figured it out -- i liked her. i wanted to know her the way nicole reynolds knew her lover.

2. Puzzle Pieces - Tiger Trap

as some of you know, i dated the same person on and off for seven years. we dated all throughout high school, took a break (where i dated b -- i’ve never cheated), and then resumed the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college. i went to his house in the guise of going to a hike, but that was a bullshit ruse -- i went over to have sex with him. and we did. and we laid together, me unsure of what had happened, because he always kept his feelings to his chest. but he got his ipod and put one earbud in each ear, and started to play this song. “whenever i played this song, i thought of you. it was your song.” he had never gotten over me. i was, at least for a time, his puzzle piece.

3. everyone blooms - The Front Bottoms

after I broke up with the person mentioned in 2, we attempted to maintain a friendship. this, predictably, did not go well, but a safe topic for us was always the music we had in common. when this album came out, we both discussed our favorite tracks and his happiness about the return to form (i had liked going grey, nut he hated it for being too poppy.) we both carefully avoided talking about this particular track, which felt too familiar for comfort. “sometimes we talk/it’s a total mistake/just the memories of us/feel so real, must be fake.” this, in turn with the music, dizzying and the sonic equivalent of banging your head on a wall after spinning in a circle, contributes to the crushing, quiet desperation of it being too late to change, but that’s okay. “wherever you are, don’t worry/you’re gonna be fine, fine, fine/everyone blooms in their own time”

4. So Unaware - Best Coast

the corniest thing about me, probably, is that I like to listen to music by California artists when I’m in California. best coast, to me, represents what SoCal is now — dreamy, lonely, vast, vacuous but for pockets where you find meaning. Bethany Cosentino is a lyricist who gets straight to the point, and her arrangement work with Bobb Bruno on this album is all structured around a descending arpeggio of a guitar riff. the primary lyrical theme is myopia, either on her part or the part of her departed lover. and man, there,s something about winding around mountains, 65 in a 40, with the exasperated plea, “I’ll never understand you, never understand you, never understand you now.”

5. West Coast - Coconut Records

alright, so I will own that this pick is me being sentimental and romantic. lyrically, this song is so subtly artful that you barely notice it on the first lesson. I’m a real fan of two things this song masters: a simple image being a stand-in for an evocative feeling (“I love you, standing all alone in a black coat” — small, stark, a pop of inky dark in east coast grey, singular in the eye of the beholder) and a chorus beginning and ending with the same line, with the meat of the sandwich changing the line from start to finish (“I miss you, I’m going back home to the west coast” — in the beginning, a simple statement of intent, but by the end, the narrator wishing his love would stop him).

Sorry, that was deeply personal and you did not ask for all that! But welcome to my brain!

Do not feel obligated at allllll — Tagging some of the usual suspects and a few newbies @friendship-switchblades @sparklyslug @serskets @gothbat99 @sea-heaux @dallae @xstevex-world @dodger-chan @leftofus @geddyqueer

[kob131]

Soooo have you finished off Umineko? IIRC there's still some extra content and a short story that also includes details on some development trivia.

What did you think overall?

Uh...not in my version. Story's over after the 8th Hidden Tea Party.

My thoughts?

It's a very effective story.

I know that sounds like a thinly veiled insult or faint praise but Umineko has such a variety in tones, emotions, themes and general pacing that it's hard to define it in one way. What I mean is you'll have this very dark, gorey and horrifying moments like with the end of Episode 2 with everyone being eaten alive and then you have Episode 4 which begins with Beatrice busting into the room like a sitcom character. Or the despair of Episode 5's ending coming after this almost knight-like scene of Piece-Battler taking and dashing off with Beatrice in tow. Or the fact that we have a character whose parent is currently with Ragyo as 'worst anime parent' (complete with the incestous rape) in the same game as Battler making grabby motions at Shannon's tits and thanking Jessica for hitting him.

Like- Between the really sad factual events like how Sayo fucking kills herself which likely contributed to the long separation of Ange and Battler due to both brain damage from drowning and the immense tramua of the whole situation; the really sweet moments of Battler trying his best to help Ange live as happy of a life as she can and the sheer horror behind characters like Lambdadelta and Featherine- I don't know what to say to really sum it all up other than 'effective'.

The mystery element goes without saying considering the sheer number of times I humiliated myself trying to solve the mystery: it's obvious well hidden without being a sucker punch because many things in the story make logical sense with the knowledge that Shannon, Kanon and Beatrice being the same person.

The sad elements were enough to make me cry at the end as Sayo killed herself or when Battler returns to everyone in the new 'Golden Land' which also implies the new Gospel House will improve the lives of many orphaned kids, likely preventing the tragedy of Sayo's life from repeating.

The horror elements obviously worked- scaring me is not something easily done. I'm a guy who shrugs off horror pretty easily given my mom's love of Nightmare on Elm Street. But I legitimately find Lambdadelta's insanity and juxitposition unnerving and the concept of Featherine's abilities do legitimately come across as almost 'eldritch' in how they're presented between the font change, the sheer lack of malice or effort in her CG and the complete violation of cause and effect. There's also how Battler just...breaks at times, like how he refuses to suspect his family which eventually made him just go mad.

The jokes don't really feel out of place given that they happen in the time before the murders and do get a laugh out of me. Not to mention that some of them, like Battler's fondness for big boobs and Beatrice getting sloshed in Episode 4, actually provide hints to figuring out the core mystery.

The music is really fucking good. Standouts to me include Mirage Coordinator for the sense of hopeless and powerlessness before fickle and cruel beings. Patchwork Chimera for setting up the feeling of a climatic show. Thanks For Being Born for delivering the idea of a deep, throbbing sadness and pain that plagues the scenes it's in. And Endless Nine for that feeling of unstoppable determination.

And, to really emphasize how effective it all was- my general journey throughout the game reflected Battler's own journey. From being ignorant of the events to defiantly fighting against Beatrice to raging against her to feeling uncertain and uncomfortable about ending her to hoping for her return.

That's a sign of a good story.

[southernswampmamma]

Magic Man: Chapter 5

Original! Male Character x Original! Black Female Character

Chapter Warnings: Slow Burn, Age Gap

Summary: Yolana Humphry spent her entire life stuck in Tapioca, Alabama, under the thumb of her controlling Aunt Freda. That is, until a stranger comes along and swoops her off her feet. A charming man, that everyone but herself seems to know; who easily bypasses her fragile walls and embeds himself in her heart. Escape, however, doesn’t seem to be the end of Yolana’s journey. With her newfound freedom, she now has the opportunity to pursue something she never thought she could obtain.

Chapter Summary: With the weekend to lessen the effects of Friday evening, Yolana looks forward to Monday morning, but it seems like she can never get a break.

I try to be very inclusive with my stories, even if I write in an original female character. So, though she has a name, the only characteristic known is that she is black.

I also plan to write stories for everyone, not just a specific race!

Chapter Five

Forget Me Not

By the time Monday morning arrived, Yolana successfully got over her Friday night blunder. She talked to Nathan, through text, throughout the weekend and he thankfully didn’t mention anything about the slip up. Yolana herself was extra careful not to mention anything about that day at all. It still randomly flashed through her thoughts throughout the weekend, every time making her visibly react from the embarrassment. She cringed while clipping Freda’s ends, which resulted in a suspicious side eye. She cringed while helping her uncle get some things from their attic, which made him think she was sick or going through her “monthly”. Yolana even cringed while attending Sunday school. When Freda saw that one, it was the 5th time, and she wanted the girl to go to the altar to get prayed for. Yolana accepted the prayer, hoping it would do some good in making the embarrassment disappear from her psyche. With her complete avoidance of mentioning the whole phone matter, Yolana happily left her home. Knowing the ride to work that morning wouldn’t be an awkward one.

Yolana met Nathan at the open passenger door, giving him a glowing smile. He returned it the best he could, because it didn’t reach his eyes or hold the same emotion. Yolana assumed he might have been tired. He did mention he was helping Thomas retile. He took her hand and helped her inside.

“Happy Monday.” Yolana said, as Nathan watched her enter the truck. He returned the sentiment, then rounded the vehicle to get back in. Yolana reached for her seat belt and, upon clicking it in, a voice sounded from the back seat.

“Morning.”

A piercing scream shot through the truck, and when hearing it, Nathan flinched. “Jesus!” he expressed. Yolana held her hand to her heart, frozen in place and staring at the brown eyes of Candace in the back seat. The woman fluttered a friendly wave Yolana’s way before settling back into the seat.

“Oh my God! What are you doing back there?” Yolana asked, still staring wide eyed at the woman. She was sitting cutely in her seat, one leg over the other, not at all bothered by Yolana’s surprise.

“Nathan volunteered to take me to work today.” Candace said, nonchalantly.

Yolana’s eyes shot over to Nathan, who was too busy navigating out of the neighborhood to meet her gaze.

“Oh.” Yolana said, as if she should have known better. She turned back around, then staring straight ahead. “I didn’t know you lived near Elijah, Candace.”

“Oh, I don’t. Nathan was just in my neighborhood, and I hitched a ride.” Candace admitted suggestively.

Yolana looked over at Nathan again. He still didn’t meet her eyes, and she knew, that he knew she was looking at him. He was strangely paying extra attention to the road, as though if he had taken his eyes away once, the truck could swerve right into another vehicle. However, the streets weren’t that busy and the only other vehicle was a suitable distance in front of them.

“Well, that’s really nice of you, Nathan.” Yolana said sarcastically, dragging her eyes away from him. She crossed her arms and stared out the window, which was her position for the rest of the car ride.

Candace mostly kept up the conversation in the car, and since Yolana didn’t feel up to talking, it was up to Nathan to converse with her. Yolana was annoyed, but she couldn’t pinpoint what she was most annoyed by. She also couldn’t settle on whether she had any right to be annoyed in the first place. Why was Candace there? Why did Nathan give her a ride to work? Why did Yolana care? Also, why was Nathan avoiding eye contact?

Yolana knew why Candace was there. She wasn’t dumb, but why did he have to bring her with him? Well, because he’s a fucking gentleman, Yolana. Her inner voice nagged. The same Nathan that approached her at Belvin’s anniversary party and offered her a ride to work is the same Nathan that offered Candace that same ride to work. Though, Yolana knew that she still didn’t want the other woman there and couldn’t shake her attitude. However, before anything else, she shouldn’t even care. She had no claim on Nathan, and she should be ashamed to be so jealous that Candace was there. Was she jealous? Or was she just annoyed that Nathan would put her in such an awkward position? After she had to practically wipe her memory, over the weekend, of the other awkward position she put herself in. Also, why wasn’t Nathan looking at her? Was he ignoring her to pay more attention to Candace, or could he tell that Yolana was annoyed at them? If it was the latter, he should know that it was his doing predominantly. He could at least give her simple eye contact except for avoiding her direction all together. All these thoughts flew around in Yolana’s conscience. They swarmed, and some disappeared, only to come back full volume. All these thoughts might have been jealousy, and Yolana was giving herself a headache, but she couldn’t seem to care anymore.

By the time the trio arrived at the blood bank, Yolana was already exhausted and wanted to go home. She said nothing to Nathan as she shut the door behind her and barely looked Candace direction when she walked off. However, when she entered the building, she could tell Candace was right on her heels. She turned towards her station to avoid her, but was stopped.

“Girl,” Candace said with a flabbergasted flair. “I didn’t want to say anything while we were in the truck, but girl.” Candace blew out a strong breath, as if she spent an exuberant amount of energy. “Last night, I have to tell you about it. That man showed up and showed out. Meet me for lunch because you need to know!” Candace left it at that and walked away, leaving Yolana there looking dumbfounded. If Candace thought Yolana was going to ruin her one and only break during the shift to listen to her and Nathan’s fuck story, she must be out of her damn mind. Yolana would rather walk into traffic blindfolded than listen to whatever Candace had to say. She decided she had enough of Candace for the rest of the day and wouldn’t be meeting her for lunch.

Nathan sat in his grandfather’s garage lacing up his boots so he could help Thomas finish up retiling one of the downstairs bathrooms. He pulled on the worn strings, thinking that maybe it was time he bought a new pair. Maybe he and Yolana could stop by the mall one day this week so he could pick some out. He would ask her, only if she wanted to talk to him, that is. The ride in the truck that morning was a rough one. More awkward than the first time he picked her up and Nathan could tell that when he picked her up later, it would be just the same. He couldn’t blame her, though. Every time she looked in his direction, he couldn’t find it in himself to meet her questioning stare. It was like he had no answer for her, and he couldn’t put his finger on the reason why. So he sat there and conversed with Candace while drowning in the thick, cramped air in the front seat.

Elijah entered through the garage door but stopped in his tracks, not expecting Nathan to be there, since he hadn’t seen the boy after the evening before. Nathan hadn’t yet noticed when Elijah had entered, so the old man snuck around his vehicles, taking slow and steady old man steps towards his grandson. Elijah couldn’t be too quiet however, the weight of his cane’s thumping across the concrete was too loud and soon alerted Nathan of his presence. When Nathan lifted his head towards Elijah, the old man slapped his knee, caught.

“Well, dog-gonnit!” Elijah cursed, giving up his scheme.

Nathan huffed. “Now I hope you didn’t think you could actually sneak up on me?”

“I used to get you good when you were a kid.” Elijah countered with a point of his finger. Nathan was 3 1/5 foot taller and nearly 150 pounds heavier than the last time Elijah could successfully sneak up on him. Nathan shook his head and continued what he was doing.

Elijah watched Nathan as he finished tying his boots, then standing to put on a denim overshirt. Elijah leaned with both hands on his cane and watched Nathan reach around himself to retrieve a pair of work gloves, and then, upon the wall, some safety glasses. Nathan could feel his grandfather’s observant eye and felt as if Elijah was examining him. He began to feel weird. Not a bad weird but a confused weird. Nathan looked at Elijah, askance. The old man didn’t avert his gaze at all and stood there steadfast, looking at him. Nathan was going to ignore him. He was going to continue grabbing things around the garage until he had everything he needed to meet Thomas.

He did well overlooking Elijah’s presence, that is until he saw his grandfather shake his head in his peripheral. Nathan directly looked at him then, questioning silently. When Elijah didn’t open his mouth to say anything, Nathan asked Elijah what was up.

“Are you trying to creep me out or something?” He was succeeding very well.

Elijah ignored Nathan’s question and asked one of his own. “How was your morning?”

He told him it was alright, then Elijah nodded his head.

“How’s Miss. Yolana doing this morning?” Elijah asked secondly. He watched Nathan’s expression curve downward. The boy looked away in thought for a second.

“I suppose she’s alright as well.” Nathan said, though he knew he was wrong. He hadn’t talked to Yolana at all throughout the day. By that time of day, they would have been on at least their 4th conversation.

“That’s good, that’s good. I bet she enjoyed seeing Candace this morning, as well.”

Nathan was fuddled. “How did you- “

“Nathan,” Elijah sighed, rolling his bright eyes as if his grandson were slow. “You asked about her Saturday night and then left Sunday night, not coming home until, I’m assuming, this morning. Candace doesn’t have a car, so I know you took her to work this morning.” Elijah stated matter of fact. “Just tell me, Son. Did you at least put Candace in the back seat?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. So, you’re not that dumb.”

Nathan put his hands on his hips, tired of being confused throughout the conversation.

“What are you on about?” He stretched out his words in exhaustion. “Why am I dumb?”

Elijah was getting stiff, so he hobbled over to where Nathan was previously sitting. He stretched his long legs, hearing them pop, and began to knead at both of his worn knees.

“You and miss Yolana are just innocent friends, I know, but I don’t think she took too kindly on seeing Miss. Candace in the truck this morning.” Elijah said, extending a compassionate smile.

Well, Nathan knew that already. He shouldn’t have offered Candace that ride. He shouldn’t have even stayed the night. Nathan should have left right after, like he had intended, but Candace convinced him to stay. So, he had to deal with a guilty conscience he didn’t know why he had, and a sour Yolana.

He looked off into the distance, hands still on his hip. “She wasn’t even supposed to see her.” he tried to explain. More to himself than to Elijah. Even when Candace convinced him to lie back down, Nathan was just going to take a nap and leave the bed right when the sun rose. That way, he could get back, take a shower and head over to Yolana’s house to pick her up. He didn’t expect Candace to wake up and see him searching for his pants. God, he should have never left his bed.

“Well, what you hiding her for?” Elijah asked.

“Well…” Nathan started, but he couldn’t seem to finish. He just stared at Elijah, dumb like, while the old man smiled at him audaciously.

On the surface, there was no severity in the issue. Nathan, a grown man with needs, met his needs with Candace, a grown woman. Nathan had no ties with Candace nor Yolana, but there was a small underlying puddle of guilt that tugged at the bottom of his stomach. Was it because Candace was Yolana’s friend? Or did it have something to do with the fact that Nathan only accepted Candace’s offer because of Yolana? He wouldn’t have been so horny to begin with if Yolana never had called him. It was her voice on the other end; her soft, honeyed voice, that reminded him of how long it’d been. So, he called up Candace on Sunday night, because he knew he couldn’t ring up Yolana. Though he wouldn’t mind, but they were in a respectful friendship and her aunt would probably call the law on him. Additionally, he didn’t want Yolana to think he only offered her a ride to get her in his bed. Nathan was making excuses. All in all, he slept with Candace and didn’t want Yolana to know about it because he felt like he was betraying her in some way.

“It means a lot to Yolana, what you’re doing for her. More than you realize. And if I’m not mistaken, the time ya’ll are spending together has an effect on you, too.” Elijah shrugged his shoulders. “But I could be wrong.”

“Pops, are you implying that I’m falling for Yolana?” Nathan asked. He wouldn’t say that he was. It had only been a week. However, he wasn’t ignorant of the way she looked at him sometimes. He also made no attempt to squash any pursuit for a deeper relationship. It was more in Nathan’s nature to let things run its course, whether it be friendship or something more. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. The idea of him with Yolana didn’t upset him. He didn’t hate it. They got along very well and had similar interests. She was very easy to look at. He definitely considered her gorgeous. He won’t pretend that he doesn’t look forward to seeing her and spending time with her. Plus, the whole phone call situation.

“No, just that I know my grandson.”

It wasn’t long after Nathan got started with Thomas that his phone vibrated in his back pocket. He stood there with a marker in his mouth, taking off his gloves to retrieve his phone. When he opened it, he could see that Yolana had finally decided to reach out to him. He pushed down the boost her text lent his mood as he tapped on her name. It didn’t last, after all, when he read the message she’d sent.

[Don’t worry about taking me home today. Just take Candace.] [I want to take the bus.]

Yolana flipped her phone over and turned away from it. It took her 10 minutes to send the message and when she’d sent it; she was too scared to see his response. She quickly flipped it back over to turn it on silent, before putting it back on its face.

Riding the bus was not her plan for the evening, but Yolana couldn’t convince herself to ride in the truck with Nathan and Candace for the second time. She had been avoiding Candace all day, and it was surprising how difficult it was. Yolana never noticed how much their paths crossed until that day. It didn’t help that Candace was actively looking for Yolana every chance she got. Yolana was exhausted. Physically, she was both working and hiding from Candace. Mentally, she was trying to convince herself that it was no big deal. Nathan was an adult, and so was Candace. Though she wasn’t treated like one and wasn’t currently acting like one, Yolana was an adult as well. So why is she still upset?

The first man in ever came along and treated her like a lady. Taking rides in his big truck and paying for everything. Made her smile and loosen up, forgetting about the theoretical chains around her social life and mind. Making her think that there was a way for her to have a normal life, with a family, and a nice house, with a white picket fence. All in one week. It took one week of semi-freedom for Yolana to feel that way, and to her chagrin, to start falling for a man she knew was just being friendly. Well, Yolana was put back in her place today. Nathan slept with her coworker.

Yolana spent the next few hours doing paperwork and labeling samples. Just busy work since all her clients came through and there were no walk-ins. It kept her mind empty, but she wished she had brought her notebook. Her notebook, with her mazes, that had retro stylized drawings of National Park maps littered all over the latest pages. Yolana slammed her face into her hands.

“If 2o’clock don’t hurry its ass up.” She muttered into her palms.

It was agonizing, but 1:30 PM made it slowly and Yolana was gathering her things, paying no mind as she opened her phone. She had actually forgotten about the text she sent earlier and was unprepared when she saw Nathan’s message. Yolana didn’t close the app after silencing her phone, of course, so just her luck when she opened it, there was Nathan’s response front, and center.

[You’re not avoiding me. I’ll pick you up @ 2]

[Candace won’t be riding.]

The audacity of him to point out her avoidance when he wouldn’t even look her in the face that morning, Yolana thought. She huffed, then stuffed her burner into her bag. She proceeded out of the building, making sure to beat Candace just in case. If Yolana didn’t see the truck in the parking lot, then she was heading straight for the bus stop. Nathan be dammed. He usually showed up right at 2, Yolana never telling him they usually get out at around 1:30; 1:45. So there was a good chance that he wouldn’t be there.

Yolana parted through the doors, throwing quick glances around the lot before departing. She was only 15 steps from the entrance when she heard a sharp whistle and the yell of her name. She stopped dead in her tracks, anxiously looking wide-eyed towards the sound. In the distance, she saw him. Nathan leaned against the front of the truck with his hands in the pockets of his brown Dickies. He wore a matching brown baseball cap with his chocolate hair tucked behind his ears. He wore a worn cream-colored t-shirt with a faded logo that covered most of the chest. Even with his arms relaxed, the sleeves of his shirt were taught around his biceps. He wore the same boots he wore every day that went with every outfit he decked.

Nathan stood there with a cheeky smile. He smiled as if he just caught someone unsuccessfully, and quite clumsily, running away from him. He smiled even harder when that someone pitifully turned around and walked his direction surrendering. When Yolana was close to the truck, Nathan stood up to open the door for her. Yolana silently got in, unconsciously looking in the rearview mirror for any surprises in the back seat. She found nothing, just some old towels folded in the center. Nathan climbed into the driver’s seat and put the truck in gear, peeling out of the parking lot.

They were a little down the street before Nathan broke the silence.

“So, what’cha up for today? I’m feeling for some Mexican. You said you loved Mexican food, right?” Nathan looked over to Yolana, who looked back at him, unimpressed.

“I don’t want Mexican.” She said simply.

Nathan tried again. “What about something simple? Maybe Waffle House?”

“I would like to just go home.” Yolana responded, folding her arms.

Nathan brought his attention back to the road while he thought. He was foolishly hoping that her mood would have improved a little by the time he picked her up. At least enough to hang with him that afternoon. There was a place Nathan planned on visiting that he thought Yolana would love. It was in town, so it wouldn’t be too far from her home.

“Well, I would love to take you home, but I have to make a stop first and pick something up.” Nathan said. “I figured you would want something to eat while we were out.”

Yolana suspiciously looked in his direction, not believing him for one second. He turned to her sheepishly, looking unapologetically apologetic. Yolana rolled her eyes and looked away.

“Fine.” was all she said.

Nathan smirked, thinking her little attitude was cute.

“So, what is it? Mexican or Waffle House?”

Yolana settled on fast food instead. She didn’t want to get out and eat, she just wanted to get the afternoon over with. She tried her best to ignore her itching thoughts, but they got the best of her and she ended up saying something, anyway.

“So, why didn’t Candace come?” She didn’t dare look at him when she asked. She pretended to pick something out of her jacket to seem uninterested in his answer either way.

Nathan didn’t hesitate when he answered. “Didn’t want her to.” He answered plainly.

Yolana went further. “Why not? She doesn’t have a car.”

“Yea, but she has a ride. I don’t need to take her home, and she lives out of the way.”

“Nathan, I’m out of the way.”

Nathan grins. “Yeah, well, you’re different.” Nathan said, honestly.

Yolana mentally shook herself. The last thing she needed was to take Nathan’s words for more than what they meant. Obviously, forgetting what was going on brought her to the predicament her emotions were currently in, even after trying to be careful. She didn’t respond to him. She just sat there, allowing him to take her wherever he wanted.

They arrived at a local nursery right off the main road. Nathan explained to Yolana that he wanted to pick flowers for Elijah and order some for back home. He didn’t tell her that he also wanted to go there to cheer her up. Nathan noticed that she loved flowers, not just from their visit to the lake, but he noticed with her floral phone case and floral bandana patterns. He even noticed the little flower doodles in her notebook. He also remembered the story Booboo told him about her bouquet and thought it was about time she replaced what she had lost. Nathan didn’t know how Freda would react if Yolana brought home some flowers, but Nathan didn’t care that much about her aunt.

Except for getting out, the two decided to stay in the car and eat. Yolana, seeing where they were, concluded that their stop wasn’t going to be a quick one at all. She wasn’t complaining about it. She was fine with being outside and looking at the pretty flowers and different plants. Yolana always wanted her own garden. She thought one day she would grow one when she got her own home, whenever that would be.

She took off her seat belt, then her jacket, and finally her scrub top, folding it neatly into her bag. It gets so cold inside the blood bank that she had to layer up throughout every season.

She grabbed her meal and started opening it while Nathan did the same. He squeezed his big hand between the door and the seat and coasted his seat all the way back before reclining it as well. Yolana watched, but not noticeably, as he got comfortable. He reminded her again of a tiger settling down. If Yolana was honest with herself, she would admit she loved watching him every time he did it. Her favorite part being him stretching his legs. They always settled deep into the bottom of the truck where the petals were. Even with the seat all the way in the backseat. She wondered how tall he was. She never asked. He’s sure to be over 6 foot.

“6 foot, 4.” Nathan answered.

Yolana looked up to his amused eyes. “I didn’t ask.” It wasn’t meant to be rude, but she was surprised that he knew what she was thinking. He didn’t seem to take offense.

“Everyone wonders, so I knew the look.” He explained. There were not a lot of people his size and height, so when a person looked him up and down, it was mostly in awe of his tall stature.

Yolana nodded. She looked over his body again, this time openly. “You must have given your mamma hell in the hospital.”

His chest shook from his laughter. “Actually, I was only a two-hour baby. Came right out.”

With how easy-going of a person Nathan was, Yolana had no doubt he was telling the truth. She nodded again, turning towards her meal.

“So,” Nathan taps his fingertips against the middle console. “You ready to talk to me, or are you going to stay quiet?”

“What do you mean?” Yolana asked, calm and collected.

Nathan scoffed. She can’t possibly try to pretend she was not upset when she was obviously not trying to hide her attitude.

“You’re more quiet than normal. You were like that this morning. It makes me feel like you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset.” Yolana sipped her drink.

“You’re not upset?”

“Nope.”

Nathan smiled. “So you’re not at all upset that Candace was in here this morning?”

Yolana shrugged her shoulders while looking out the door at the people perusing through the nursery. Her hand deftly searched through her bag for fries.

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I brought her to work every day with us?” he paused. “Since she doesn’t have a car, you know?”

Yolana slipped up. She snapped her head towards Nathan, an obvious displeased glare baked onto her face. When she saw Nathan’s shit-eating grin, her face dropped and morphed into annoyance.

“Well, I guess that answers that question.” He said, grin still in place. It answered more than that. He let her stew for a second before continuing. “Don’t be so upset, Lana.” Nathan pleaded. “It was only one ride. I don’t plan on making it more.”

Yolana had never heard him shorten her name before. It was new, but he said it so easily, like it was nothing. It had an effect on her, pushing the wall she put up between them, down. Yolana sighed.

“It was just a little uncomfortable. I know why she was there, and it made me feel weird.”

From her reaction moments earlier and what Elijah had warned him, Nathan knew Yolana was more than just uncomfortable. “It means a lot to Yolana, what you’re doing for her. More than you realize.” The warning repeated in Nathan’s mind. Yes, Yolana was uncomfortable that morning. Hell, so was he. However, Nathan thought that Yolana was even more jealous.

“I’ll get over it.” Yolana said after some time. She retreated mentally and physically, turning away from Nathan and looking at the scenery outside.

“I’m sorry for bringing her along. I didn’t even want to.” Nathan apologized. He hoped that knowing he didn’t want Candace there in the first place would make Yolana feel better, but how? That he would have rather hid it from her? She didn’t turn towards him. He’s sure she heard him, but Yolana was so lost in her thoughts. Nathan called her name to get her attention. When she looked at him, she began to register what he said.

“Don’t apologize, there’s no reason to.” Yolana gave a small smile and Nathan decided to let the subject go. Well, only to switch to another one.

“Have you ever been here?” he asked, referring to the nursery. Yolana shook her head, no. The nursery’s got to be as old as she was. How come she had never been? Suddenly, Nathan remembered Freda. “Your aunt doesn’t let you go out much.” It was a statement he said, more to himself than to Yolana. Nathan sighed and leaned further back.

“You know, you can just walk out the door.” He waved his hand. “She can’t stop you.”

“And after I come back, we’re going to argue.” Yolana stated. It was her turn to sigh. “I know I can just walk out. I know I can just do what I want, but I’m always going to have to go back. I live there.” Yolana wadded up her paper and stuffed it into the bag. “You’re not the first to let me know, by the way. It’s easier to let her have her way and, frankly, she’s the only person I got. I have nowhere to go if I decided to walk out and never come back.” Yolana finished.

Nathan looked at his hands. “She’s not hurting you, though. Right, Yolana?” His face was grim.

Yolana shook her head. “No, she don’t touch me.” She laughed. “Her words sure hurt sometimes, but she don’t lay any hands on me.” Nathan let out a breath, relieved. However, the image of her standing out in the rain on Friday was etched inside his mind. It was great that Yolana was physically ok, but how she was treated mentally still bothered him. He looked at her fiddling with her scrub bottoms, obviously still in a bad mood. Mostly his doing. Though his feelings were still unclear, he could acknowledge that he cared about Yolana. After only one week with her, Nathan truly cared about her, and he can’t find it in himself to leave without getting to the bottom of her troubles. Maybe he should have another talk with Chief Friday.

Yolana stared at two different pots holding two fresh flowers, unsure of which she preferred. Her eyebrows were turned, and lips puckered in thought, assisted by her tapping a foot on the dirt. The Daisies were simple, classic, and pretty, sitting in their yellow ceramic pot. The flowers were standing straight, and the bright white petals didn’t have a single blemish on them. The Forget Me Not’s were a vibrant blue that contrasted greatly with the other flowers sitting around them. They weren’t flowers that she saw everywhere, and the bright blue looked lovely against her skin. The pretty cluster of flowers was adorned by big green leaves that made the pot look fuller.

Nathan left her 20 minutes ago with a task to find herself something pretty. She declined his offer, but he was very insistent that she take something home. So, he’d left her for a search for his own plants and was hoping she found something by the time he got back. She looked around for a few minutes before finding the Daisies. Yolana picked them up and carried them around until she found the Forget Me Not’s. She then carried them both around, looking for a third alternative, but when coming up with nothing, she settled with the two options. Yolana sat them both on the ground and stared at them, unmoving until Nathan came up behind her, forming a gigantic shadow above her. She looked up at him, only seeing his beard before he returned her look.

“Can’t decide.” She spoke. Her face heated when he smiled. “Help me pick.”

Nathan rounded her with his fist to his chin. “Hmmm. Daisies or Forget Me Not’s.” He looked from the flowers to her face and back at the flowers. After a few passes back and forth, Nathan pointed at the pretty blue flowers in the groovy looking pink pot. “Forget Me Not’s. Myosotis Scorpiodes.” He blanched in acknowledgement. “That’s the nerdiest shit I ever said in my life.”

Yolana bowed over in hilarity. She was loud and gathered attention, though her laughter was short-lived. Nathan covered his face with a hand, hiding his blushing embarrassment. Yolana stood back up with more quiet laughter and Nathan couldn’t help but let a few huffs out himself.

“How do you remember their scientific name? Wait, how many plant names do you know?” Yolana wiped tears from her eyes.

“Quite a few, actually.” Nathan admitted. His blush was getting no clearer. He bent down and picked up the pink pot of flowers. “Whatever. I think these are the perfect ones for you.”

“Why these and not the Daisies?”

Nathan looked down at the flowers again. “They’re more like you than the Daisies.” He thought for a second. “Practically, they’re spring flowers, your favorite season, and die down in the winter, your least favorite season. You like being around people and being a part of things, but hate the idea of being the center of attention, just like these flowers. They like part shade, being forest flowers and all. They grow better in the sun, but with a taller plant giving them some shade.” He paused. “Plus, there is symbolism with them being named Forget Me Not’s and all, but I’m sure you can connect those dots.”

Yolana stared at Nathan wide eyed. That was scary. How did he see that in the flowers and connect them so well to her? Nathan stared back at Yolana, wide eyed as well. Why was she so surprised?

“What? I pay attention when you talk to me.”

Yolana looked down at the flowers tucked into Nathan’s arm. She stared at them and suddenly they weren’t flowers anymore, but a reflection of herself. Nathan allowed Yolana to take the flowers from his arm. He watched her expression change from consideration to a pleased warmth. She hugged the plant to herself before looking up at Nathan with a goofy tinge of happiness.

There it was, the smile Nathan’s been looking for.

“So, are these the one?” Nathan asked. Honestly, he would buy them both if she asked. Yolana nods satisfactorily.

“What’s the other symbolism? Compliment me some more.” Yolana asked prettily.

There was a single braid laid on Yolana’s shoulder that Nathan had the urge to take and tuck behind her. He instead pushed his hands into his pockets.

“They’re the flower for faithfulness and loyalty. Remembrance, of course, and respect. I believe you have a lot of those qualities.” His words were sincere. “And they’re tiny, like you.”

Yolana’s smile disappeared. “Ha. Ha.” she said flatly. It was not the first time Nathan had made fun of her size. Yolana was actually average sized, but to him, she obviously looked smaller. Everybody should look small to Nathan.

“Well, Buttercup, you want to look around some more with me before I take you home?” He gave her another little nickname and Yolana found that she liked them.

The drive back home was surrounded by a comfortable silence and a mix of fragrant flowers. Some sat in the backseat of the truck and one sitting in Yolana’s lap. It was also filled with Yolana’s constant appreciation of her pot of flowers, taking pictures of them from different angles. Then there was Nathan, who couldn’t stop peeking at her. He was proud that at the end of the day, he got her to smile again. As adorable as she was when she was upset, he didn’t want her to feel that way. She didn’t deserve it.

“So, what are you going to tell your aunt when she sees them?” Yolana shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe say a coworker gave them to me.” Yolana knew one thing, however. They were flowers she was going to keep.