#and then they spend several minutes having the most insane hilarious meet cute of all time

[boypussydilf]

i love how many of the saddest adventure time episodes are also like. the absolute funniest in their first halves

[aly-ashy]

Date challenge

I am starting to get used to my life as one of the selected. I have made friends with a lot of the other ladies, I don't get lost every time I have to find a bathroom outside of my room and I have even spoken with Haiden on a couple occasions. However, I don't know that I am ready to spend an extended amount of one on one time with him.. a date seems kinda intimidating. But just over a week ago Haiden announced that he is determined to go on a date with each of us over the next week or two. As soon as he announced it there were several girls that flooded towards him to schedule their dates. I was not one of them, I figured I would wait my turn. But that was almost a week ago and now they have all gone on their dates. So, I guess next time I see Haiden I should talk to him about when we can go on ours. As for now, I think I will go down to the library and read. I slip on my shoes and head out. It feels kinda weird to have to put shoes on to leave my room but I am sure it would feel weird to walk around the palace barefooted as well. As I get to the bottom of the stairway I turn toward the hallway that leads to the library but stop when I hear someone say my name. "Lady Alysen!" I turn to see Haiden nearby coming towards me. "Prince Haiden! I didn't see you there otherwise I would have said hello." "Don't worry about it. However, I do need to speak to you about our date." "Oh yes. I thought I would let the girls that were more anxious to go have a chance to do so. But I am ready to take my turn whenever you are available." "Are you able to do it tonight?" "Tonight sounds wonderful." "Alright. I will come by your room around 8." "Okay I will see you then Haiden." He gives me a nod and we head in our separate directions. When I get to the library I try to focus on the book that I had picked out but I can't stop thinking about the date. What do I wear? Am I supposed to plan it? How long is it going to take? I decide that the best way to let my mind rest is to go talk to some people that have the answers. So, I make my way towards the women's room. I walk in to see several of the girls sitting around having a conversation. I join them and when there is a pause in the discussion I decide to bring up my date. "So I'm going on my date tonight..." The girls all make their own comments about how exciting it is and asking me questions. “Are you nervous?” One of the girls asks. “Kind of? Not really? I just don't know what to expect..” Several of the girls tell me I will be okay and as long as I be myself it will be totally great. “That's actually why I came down here… can anyone tell me kinda what I should expect? Like what do I need to do to prepare?” “It will go best if you go into it with a plan. It will be less awkward if you know what you want to do.” Viola says with a smile. “I agree. And be sure to pick something that you feel totally comfortable doing. That will make it less awkward as well.” Sophia adds on. “Alright… thanks guys. I think I have an idea of what to do now.” The conversation moves on and we all talk until it is time to go to dinner. We all walk together and sit down to eat. The meal is fantastic as always but I find myself getting distracted from eating. I keep staring at Haiden. I guess with my date tonight I am getting a wave of that ‘this can't be real’ feeling which is a feeling that I have felt at least once a week since I got to the palace. I try to get back to eating my food and within a few minutes I have finished eating. I excuse myself and head to my room to get ready for my date. When I get back to my room my maid Elsie is sitting at a table in the corner of the room. “What would you like to wear for tonight miss?” “Well I think I will take him down to the kitchens and we could do some baking so I would like to go more casual for tonight.” “That sounds like a lot of fun miss.” “I thought so too. So I was thinking some pants and a cute blouse. Cute but functional for the kitchen?” “That sounds perfect. What would you like to do with your hair?” “I cannot have my hair down when I'm baking. It drives me crazy.” “Alright well we best start getting you ready it won't be long until he comes for you.” “Okay well let’s do this then!” I only have two pairs of pants here since I spend most of my time in dresses, I pick the darker ones because they are more flattering and it's harder to tell if they get dirty. I pick out a flowery top as well and put them on. I walk into the bathroom where Elsie is waiting to do my hair. I have learned to trust her and my other maids to do my hair without much direction and they never fail to impress. Elsie curls my hair and then puts it into a ponytail. My makeup looks fine from when we did it earlier so we decide to leave that how it is. After we finish we walk back into my bedroom and sit on the bed to talk until Haiden comes. We talk for about 10 minutes when there is a knock on the door. Elsie walks over to open the door and I stand up and walk towards the door. Haiden nods at me. “Hello, Lady Alysen are you ready for our date?” “Yes!” I respond with a smile. “Great, what would you like to do?” “I was thinking that we could go to the kitchen and I could teach you how to make something that we make in my family's bakery back home.” “All right, but I've got to warn you, I'm a terrible baker.” He says and I can tell that this is not an activity that he would pick. “Well that's fine because I happen to be a great baker” “Hopefully your skills outweigh mine” Haiden laughs. “I believe in you. At least I with my help I do.” Haiden offers me his arm and says “Well, let's go, shall we?” “Alright! Thank you.” I say taking his arm. We head out of my room and he starts a conversation. “So, tell me about yourself” “Okay. Umm I'm from Labrador, I work full time, I have 3 siblings, what else would you like to know?” “About you. Your dreams, hopes, how you feel about this thing, your deepest, darkest secrets.” Oh wow he's asking the big questions now… “Oh gosh! I don't really know how exactly I want my life to go.. It definitely depends on how the selection works out. I know I want kids but that is really the only thing I am sure of. As for the selection I have loved it so far. It has some hard things for sure but it has been a great experience. And I don't really have any secrets? I tend to make choices that I wouldn't be ashamed of.” “That's great to hear. The choices we make tend to express who we are to an extent.” “Yeah. What about yourself? What is something that I wouldn't know about you?” “Um, I have three piercings in my right ear.” “Wow! You're right, I did not know that!” “Not a lot of people do. My parents threatened to give the throne to my sisters if I wore them” “That's hilarious. Well it looks like we have made it to the kitchens. What would you like to make?” I say once we get to the kitchen. “Um, something I won't explode” I nod and say “Brownies it is” “That's my father's favorite. He actually makes really good ones, but I'm not sure what the secret ingredient is.” “Well we will have to see who makes better brownies then” “I don't know, it'll be a challenge” “I'm up for the challenge” Haiden gestures toward the kitchen and says “Wonderful. So what do we need first? “We need butter, oil and sugar.” Haiden gathers ingredients and sets them on a counter “All right” “Alright so now we need to melt the butter and then mix it with the oil, and sugar. Then we will need eggs and vanilla” “This seems complicated” “I'll do all the hard stuff and you can just run around getting ingredients” “Watch me trip and crack all the eggs. I got banned for an entire month from the kitchen once for that exact reason” “Just carry 1 egg at a time so that you could only drop one at a time” “That would take a while” “We only need 2 eggs” “Okay, let's do this.” He says as he grabs eggs one at a time and almost trips. “I believe in you Haiden!” “That was the most nerve-wracking 30 seconds of my life.” He sighs after the eggs are safely in my hands. “Well you did well. Now we need vanilla, cocoa, flour, sugar and salt” “When I was eight I once ate an entire bowl of sugar” “I eat peanut butter with a spoon sometimes.” I reply. “Really?” He laughs “How uncivilized. My sister eats plain butter” “Oh my gosh that's so gross! I love butter but I can't eat it plain” “She's sadistic” “Which sister is it?” “Eloise” “Oh my gosh.” I laugh and shake my head. “It is kinda nice to see a less public side to your family though.” “Most definitely. If you'd have to know anything about my family, it'd be that Eloise is sadistic, Elaine is possibly insane, my mother can tell if you're lying no matter what, and my father will never let you win an argument.” We continue the conversation while I combine the rest of the ingredients. “That makes me miss my family. Each of them have their distinctive characteristics as well.” I say with a faint smile. “What is it like being away from them? I have never spent much time away from my family.” “It's really weird. I will see something and think oh I wish Bella could have seen that. Or I wish my parents could taste some of baguette’s baking. And stuff like that. But I think it's good that I spend some time away from them, lessen my dependence.” “That makes sense.” “Yeah.. Alright, I have a question for you.” “Let's go find somewhere to sit down while the brownies bake and then you can ask me all the questions you would like.” We move to some chairs nearby and I ask my question. “So, most nights before I go to bed I like to reflect on my day and figure out what some of the highs and lows of the day were. So, what have been the highs and the lows of the selection in general?” “Highs are definitely meeting all you ladies and just shaking things up in general. The only low I can see is that this has been a rather time consuming and stressful endeavor. What about you? What are your highs and lows?” “Highs are meeting you, meeting the other girls, the food, the beds, the weather, the free time, the beds, leaving my comfort zone, and the beds. Lows are leaving my family, leaving the family I work for, and leaving my comfort zone.” “Well I'm glad that it has proven to be a good experience thus far, and I'm very glad you like the beds.” He says with a smile. The conversation keeps going until the brownies are done. “I would say that we should deliver some of these to your father but I'm afraid by the time the are cool enough to eat it will be too late. So perhaps I will come down to the kitchen before breakfast tomorrow and cut them up and we can try them then.” “That sounds like a wonderful idea. Now I suppose I should return you to your bed that you love so much.” “Oh yes! I can hear it calling my name!” I say with a laugh. I take his arm again as we walk back to my room. When we reach my door he says thank you. “I had a lovely time tonight lady Alysen. Thank you for putting up with my inaccuracies in the kitchen.” “Thank you for doing it with me. Baking always makes me happy so I'm glad I got to share it with you.” I look into his eyes and smile. He takes my head I. His hands and places a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Good night lady Alysen.” He whispers. “Good night Haiden.” I whisper back and then I turn and open my door and walk in. After I shut my door I can't keep the smile off my face. “I take that as a good sign.” Elise laughs. “It was nice. Nothing very special happened if that's what you're thinking but it was nice.” “Something must have happened. You are awfully giddy.” “It wasn't a big deal. It was nothing compared to what has happened with the other girls.” “Alright well let's get you ready for bed.” “Okay.” Elise helps take my hair out and does anything else I need before she leaves. As I lay in my bed about to fall asleep I reflect on my day. I would have to say that today was only highs. No lows.

[four-cheese-rice-a-roni]

A Facebook message to the girl my ex got with 3 days after he broke up with me

1. His favorite color is green 2. He doesn't really like spaghetti 3. He says he can cook, but he can really only do the frozen stuff or breakfast food 4. He is a complainer 5. ^^^ especially when he is sick 6. He broke his ankle sliding into third base in a baseball game his sophomore year 7. He broke his nose in baseball practice senior year (I do have a picture if you'd like to see) 8. His favorite fruit candy is dots 9. His favorite chocolate candy is snickers 10. He comes off as super cocky, but he is actually pretty insecure 11. His only ticklish spots are under his armpits and the bottoms of his feet 12. His hair is super curly when he grows it out 13. He thinks "reatch/reatched" is a word even though he has been told multiple times it is not (ex: I reatched out and grabbed the basketball) 14. He is an insanely fast sprinter 15. He acts like a 5 year old 16. When he gets excited his mental age goes down to about 3 17. He cannot match his own clothes to save his life 18. HE IS SO LAZY 19. He loves classical comedy movies 20. Pretty sure him and his entire family know all the words to all the dumb and dumber movies 21. He will only go see comedy's in theaters 22. He has one pair of jeans and they look like 90's dad jeans. It's a serious issue 23. He cannot remember to report in on Wednesday's to save his life. He even has an alarm and sill forgets 24. He hates writing papers 25. In fact I have probably written more of his papers then he has 26. His little sister has a major attitude/temper and Blake loved to mess with her 27. His mom is very nice, but don't get on her bad side 28. "Not to be rude, but.." His dad... is interesting... "I'm just saying" "not trying to offend anyone" 29. Those are his phrases you will hear 395859 times a day 30. His grandma hylton is the funniest/sweetest lady you will ever meet 31. If you ever need to talk crap to someone about someone in his family Amanda is the one to go to. Trust me, she feels the same 32. He never ever says no to his parents 33. Or tells them that he has plans he needs to be back home at a certain time for 34. He is a die hard cubs, bears, and celtics fan 35. He's got the worst jokes sometimes that just make you want to roll your eyes 36. He also hates when people roll their eyes 37. He is so great with kids 38. He is so sensitive when it comes to people making him upset 39. Definitely a crier and he wants to be left alone when he does cry 40. When he gets mad he likes to just leave and go for a walk or whatever. Just let him. He will come back perfectly fine 85% of the time 41. He loves cherry Pepsi and MTN dew mixed together for some odd reason 42. His favorite Powerade is white (black cherry maybe?) 43. He either takes 3 minute showers or 3 hour showers and there is no in between 44. He loves to sing 45. And dance 46. And he is the biggest fan of Taylor Swift I've ever met in my life 47. He sweats a lot in his sleep 48. And drools 49. He is the hardest person to wake up 50. He likes his back scratched when he goes to sleep 51. Or his hair played with 52. He is always playing a new game on his phone 53. He was really great at football in high school (he will totally deny it though) 54. Also is really great at baseball 55. Was a severely under appreciated member of the basketball team 56. Only surgery he's had is tubes in his ears and nose realignment 57. He has had too many concussions that we have actually lost count 58. His best friend from high school, Sam, is one odd dude. He is great though. Very very nice 59. He got bullied a lot when he was younger by his peers 60. His car is the love of his life 61. He got in a fight once on a school bus 62. He use to have a very bad temper, but I haven't seen it since he got back from basic 63. He acts like basic was a breeze, but I know he had a rough time 64. He had a dog named onyx and a dog named opie but they both passed away 65. His first crush was on his neighbor and best friend Destinee Boatman 66. His grandma and grandpa Flack are intimidating and very hard to warm up. I dated him for 3 years and I'm still not sure if his grandma liked me or not 67. When he gets nervous when he's telling a story he does this thing where it kind of looks like he's choking on his own spit 68. He is a borderline hoarder 69. He can spend hours playing Madden on his XBOX 70. His favorite cake is red velvet but only if it has cream cheese frosting 71. He thinks he is the most hilarious person on the face of this earth (I mean he's pretty funny but you know) 72. He needs a lot of motivation to do a PT test if it is not required of him 73. He knows exactly what he wants to do with his life 74. He is horrible at texting 75. He always falls asleep on the phone 76. And on FaceTime 77. He loves French toast 78. He also loves chocolate milk 79. He likes to write on people with robin eggs 80. He can do a weird cross eyed thing (I have a video) 81. He never knows how much money he has in his bank account 82. He also hates spending money 83. Rap music is his favorite 84. Classical music is probably a close second 85. He's got multiple laughs 86. The best one is when he is just laughing and he has no clue why. So cute. 87. He can say some rude things, but he doesn't mean it 88. He misses his grandpa so much 89. I hope you don't have a large family because I do and we dated for 3 years and he still doesn't know their names 90. He falls in love easily 91. He never deserves to get hurt 92. He is a man of his word 93. He loves his family more than anything 94. He is so smart. Especially at math 95. He is truly amazing 96. His hugs are the absolute best in this entire world 97. His clothes are the best pajamas 98. Even though he isn't showing it, this hurts him too. 99. He will always be my best friend 100. He deserves better than what I gave him