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petaltrail · 5 years ago

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I know this borders on a whole lot of ‘stating the obvious’ territory, but the psychological / symbolic implications are Important(TM) so we’re talking about them anyway

Now that the episode’s been out a week, can we just look at the contrast between both times Ruby’s ‘seen’ her mom ? Yes I’m using the full images so I’m putting this under a read more but I’m holding every single one of you at gunpoint to read it----

There’s some debate as to whether this is supposed to be an actual memory or some kind of insight/connection to Summer or if it’s just Ruby’s mind’s eye, but I don’t think the answer is entirely important --- it’s still something we’re seeing from Ruby’s point of view. For the record, though, I personally think these scenes are both entirely indicative of Ruby’s mind’s eye. In volume 6, thinking of her mom is the climax; Maria told her it was integral to think of the people that love you, the people that you love --- to fill yourself with warmth, essentially. When her mind races and brings her right to Summer, it’s a triumphant scene --- the sun is rising ( or setting, whichever ) and lights up her mother’s figure brilliantly. A trail of petals in the wind seems to drive home the ephemeral nature of it... As does the fact that the place Ruby sees her at is where her grave marker is. As morbid as it is, this is one of Ruby’s strongest memories of her --- because so much of her life was spent recounting events to that gravestone. So all in all, she strikes a comforting figure and a welcome presence --- even if Summer still feels a bit too far away to leave the impression of intimacy one might expect from a daughter reflecting on her mother. This might be because in that moment, when Ruby’s doing her best to steady herself and her mental state, her mother intuitively pops into her subconscious as if to tell herself ‘now think, what would Mom do’ --- once again idolizing the mother she never quite got the chance to know.

This season... It strikes us entirely different. Summer is no longer standing on the edge of the cliff as if she might disappear any moment; she’s dead center of the shot, and the angle of the cliff against her anchoring point gives us ( or at least me ) an uncomfortable sense of tunnel vision, like there’s a source of anxiety and claustrophobia there that you can’t quite put a finger on. The grass is spotty but overgrown, unkempt, left to ruin; the sky is overcast, downright stormy --- but there’s also hints of smoke there, as if there’s destruction just beyond the horizon that we can’t see. Summer looks on much like she did last season, but her stance strikes us much differently when it’s angled to the side like this; her body language looks more tense, as if she’s powerless to intervene. Whereas last season Ruby’s mother came to mind amidst a triumphant resurgence of hope and love, she’s now being prompted to think of her in a fit of fear --- tainting the ‘ideal’ image from before. The skies are just as indicative of the state of Remnant as they are her mental state; Ruby’s been holding herself together well, but in this one moment of weakness, we can see exactly what she thinks about their odds and the situation as a whole. Not only that, but it’s a stark reminder of just what kind of burdens she’s inherited from her mother... Something Summer almost seems aware of in this scene. As brief as the scene is, it really does remind me of the dichotomy in Red Like Roses pt. II --- the daughter rightfully accusatory, the mother trying to explain her choices without excusing them and doing her best to steer her daughter away from them. Ruby just happens to be acting out both parts in her mind.

Last season, we see Summer slowly turn towards her daughter as she tucks some stray hair behind her ear, smiling all the while. Not only is her body language --- the slow turn, the fall of her arm --- open and loving, like an embrace waiting just off-screen, but her smile is utterly maternal and encouraging. It seems to say ‘there you are’ and ‘you’re doing just fine’ all at once. The music swells behind her, as does the sun --- like I said, it bathes her in a downright angelic light. It’s an entirely idealized version of her mother, but I wouldn’t consider this a bad thing ( nor an unexpected one ); losing her so young, it took Ruby a very, very long time to see her in a positive light in the first place. There was a bout of extreme confusion and anger there, particularly in her preteen years, that took a lot of patience and... Eventual acceptance of the situation to overcome. Because she’s so close to the edge of the cliff, we also see the ocean in the background, fully completing this sort of vignette of hope and possibilities --- now that Ruby’s starting to get a handle on her emotions and come to grips with her silver eyes, there’s so much more she can do to help. It’s uplifting.

This season is entirely Not that, that’s the short version. What little we can see of the ocean is grey and intimidating, cold and lifeless. Summer looks much less motherly and much more waif-like, powerless. There’s no swelling music, no gentle transition --- there’s a high-pitched screeching right out of a horror movie, and instead of one near-continuous shot, the scene cuts painfully between Ruby’s grief-stricken face and her mother. It’s abrupt and uncomfortable, just as the situation is for Ruby. Her emotions are nowhere near as stable as before, about as choppy as the sea behind her mother; as opposed to finally overcoming her anxieties, even if only for a moment when she needed that clarity most, her mother comes to her with all the significance of a Banshee: this path is harrowing, it’s been tread before, and it only leads to death. The destination --- Salem --- is standing right in front of Ruby, even if she’s only an illusion. In real time her silver eyes are going haywire in a way we’ve never seen, and it’s my belief that she’s on the verge of a panic attack brought on by an incredibly triggering situation; whereas the near-panic attack she had in volume 6 was brought on by memories she could at least somewhat control combined with a moment of intense pressure/stress, this is an attack brought on by really traumatic information as well as trauma she’d long-since buried. The close-up shot of her mother shows us Ruby’s internal panicked state in the form of the angle of the cliff ( as well as the aforementioned screech ), as if something’s closing in --- even if we’re not quite sure what. Her mother doesn’t look at her directly, not right away; she’s looking at something we can’t see. While her expression’s forlorn, she doesn’t leave the impression that she’s ignoring us intentionally. When she does look at Ruby directly, though...

Her mother gets closer, but we almost don’t want her to --- it feels like something might reach out and grab us or her any second. This is the expression I’d expect from Red Like Roses pt. II. This is a mother looking on as her child panics, virtually alone in her own mind. But this is also the image Ruby constructs of her, so the conflict of having a mother so clearly longing to help --- or at least showing extreme regret and empathy --- but not moving an inch... It’s really, really heartbreaking. Summer doesn’t look anxious or fearful, like she’s glued to the spot or anything, but there’s a sort of resigned pain and remorse there. It’s the role of a mother who has all these reasons, but has no intention of making excuses for leaving her daughter with all these burdens and battles. It’s a mother who both did what she could to fiercely protect her in life, but knows the harsh truth is that she should be there right now --- so her daughter didn’t just inherit a legacy, but directly learned and grew from it thanks to the one who already walked that path. No matter how fiercely Summer fought in life, the harsh truth is that she’s useless in death --- and Ruby knows it’s cruel, but it’s true. It’s real, it’s a raw and real emotion from one of the daughters left behind. Combined with Qrow’s mention that she went somewhere that not even Ozpin knew about... Neither Qrow nor Salem are the people she should be hearing this from, and Ruby knows it. Her inner projection of Summer knows it. To see a child --- a seventeen-year-old girl --- have the mental and emotional intelligence to both see her mother’s absence for what it is but also understand her mother’s intentions up to her death, and how she’d likely carry herself... It’s impressive, but a heavy weight. Like so many other things going on around Ruby these past couple of years, she can see how fucked up things are --- but still continues to cling to an attitude of ‘but it is what it is’ and tries to confront each twist and turn with resilience. It makes it all the more painful when the only thing this moment results in is her breaking down and letting out the most visceral, heart-wrenching wails I’ve heard in a long time.

Not only is this an indication of her mental state in that moment, but I think it’s also a strong indicator of where her mental state will go in the future. I hold tight to the headcanon ( barely even a headcanon at this point ) that Ruby has depression, PTSD, and anxiety --- and those do not a great combination make. She has absolutely no time to actually process and come to grips with her encounter with Salem, and while she once again tackles the newest problem --- read: Ironwood --- with the utmost resiliency, that same trait that makes her a great leader is incredibly worrying. It’s an indicator that eventually the elastic’s gonna snap back .

#* hc.#* hc but bigger and important and stuff.#yall im so UPSET please read this i wrote a lot i have carpal tunnel now #support your local emotionally wounded protagonist and her mun

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valomile · 8 years ago

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“Even when we are not doing work, there is work being done within” – Artist Interview with Lee Meszaros

Image: #eauclaireresin pendant with forget-me-nots, handmade by Lee Meszaros. You can learn more about Lee and see more visuals of her work on lee-meszaros.com. Lee also has an Instagram (@leemeszaros), and an online shop at leemeszaros.storenvy.com.

Forget-me-nots swimming in a tiny wearable world of resin, a merit badge awarded for your specialty in being, as they say, like bump in a log, the scent of a cabin in the woods, warm with suede and cedar—these are all things that Lee Meszaros makes in her home and garden in Brantford, Ontario. Through handmade artist multiples, Lee celebrates childhood experiences with nature and the humour of human bonds.

In early 2016, I had the pleasure of hearing Lee talk about her work in my arts business class at Sheridan, and a few months later, I was eyeing her resin jewelry at the White Elephant here in Hamilton, one of a handful of retailers across North America that carry Lee’s work. I finally bought one of her forget-me-not necklaces as a birthday present to myself, and it remains one of my favourite pieces. Here are a few things I asked Lee about what she does:

“I took private sewing lessons from one of my mom's friends and made all of my own prom dresses and ridiculous wide leg jeans.”

Valentin: What do you think got you started making the things that you do?

Lee: I realized a few years ago that making has always been my default way of supporting and expressing myself. When I was in elementary school I would make it my summertime business every year to make a mountain of art and crafts to submit to as many categories as humanly possibly at the local fair, with extra attention paid to the bigger cash prize categories. In high school I took private sewing lessons from one of my mom's friends and made all of my own prom dresses and ridiculous wide leg jeans. From high school I went on to Sheridan to study textiles formally, and from there my silk screening and embroidery work followed. I took a hard left two years ago when I moved to the country, dropped my textile focus and moved into an entirely new creative area of fresh flowers and resin. This came from moving into my grandma's house and taking over her beautiful but neglected rose garden, where I became so inspired by the magic of flowers, and a pull to work with them creatively.

Valentin: What has your professional journey looked like over the years? Would you describe it as a meandering path, a knife fight, a bit of both, or something else entirely? Do you view your personal and professional journeys as intertwined, or completely separate?

Lee: I would say that my professional journey is closer to a meandering path that is definitely intrinsically linked to my personal life and struggles. Being in charge of a business isn't something that comes naturally to me—making the work is where I get my fulfillment and joy—but obviously both halves are needed to succeed in making things as a source of income. I've found that my business succeeds and suffers right along with me. If I am personally having a hard time, it is nearly impossible to motivate myself to be creative. If I'm personally flourishing, it's in these times that I'm able to see my business with rose coloured glasses and take it to new places and make bold decisions with confidence. There have been times where I wished so much that my work and my personal life could be separate, how much easier would that make my path to 'success'! But over time I've learned to see it all as a beautiful dance that is always working to teach me things. It is often in the lowest, darkest times that my subconscious is working out the plans for me to enact once the clouds clear. It's been a very important lesson to learn that even when we aren't doing the work, there is work being done within.

Valentin: What kind of education, internships, or mentorships have you pursued?

Lee: My educational path started with one misguided year of Art History & English studies at a large and faceless university, where it became painfully obvious to me that I needed to be working with my hands and needed to be taught usable skills. I went to Sheridan College for the Crafts & Design program to study textiles. After graduation from Sheridan I went to NSCAD in Halifax to finish my BFA (they allowed me to apply my Sheridan credits toward the degree, leaving me with 1.5 years to finish) where I broadened my studies to Interdisciplinary so that I could investigate illustration and book arts in addition to textiles. Since leaving NSCAD I haven't sought out any further studies, mostly because I've never been sure where I fit into the scheme of things, the hard binaries of art mediums.

“I've tried to create work that captures a moment, an accomplishment, a feeling that we would like to keep.”

Valentin: What is it about yourself that you find helps you the most in making your work?

Lee: I think my nostalgic tendencies are an incredibly strong linking component in all the work I've done. I've tried to create work that captures a moment, an accomplishment, a feeling that we would like to keep. The emotional connection to my Be Proud merit badges was one of the main forces in their warm reception into the marketplace. They brought people back to childhood feelings but within a new grown context, and that was very special. My Eau Claire resin work that I am now immersed in follows suit in capturing natural magic that is historically ephemeral, in resin. This emotional connection to beauty and to personal identity is a driving force I recognize in myself.

Valentin: What is the most important piece of advice you have received about making things?

Lee: The most important advice I've received was early on, and it was to not be afraid to show your work and get it out there. When creative folk are first starting out there is often this fear of talking or showing off your ideas for fear that someone else will take that idea and run with it. I've learned how baseless this fear is, and how important it is to know that everyone has the same ideas all of the time; very few ideas are truly one of a kind. The most important element of the idea is that it’s YOURS, only you will make the aesthetic decisions to execute this idea, and that alone makes it unique and worth pursuing.

Valentin: What is your workspace like? As part of your practice, you collect a lot of found material—dried flowers, stones—and I am wondering how you organize and take care of your collections?

Lee: My work space is divided up into three spaces currently: first there is the built-in bar in my living room that I have made into an art and craft supply heaven, cupboards stuffed with all the lesser used supplies, my Hungarian textile collection, and all of my business files, topped with a three-sided counter for spreading out and working. The second space is upstairs in the sun porch where my 'messy' table is—a work surface for pouring resin and silk screening. My third workspace is outside in the garden, where I've been cultivating a collection of small preservable flower varieties to use in my resin work. I keep my collection of preserved flowers in airtight labeled containers to extend them as long as possible. I keep the gemstones I collect to include with the flowers in a little labeled bead organizer. Organization and labeling is key when I'm working with so many moving parts, and keeping a schedule of flowers and their blooming periods is essential.

Valentin: What is your typical day like?

Lee: My typical day depends so much on the seasons: in the winter when the garden is dormant I am working on the business side of things—organization, ordering findings, making order forms, creating my wholesale business, updating my website (still on the to-do list...). In the spring and summer I am more in work-mode, so I wake up as early as I can and head right out to the garden before anything else. I work for 1-2 hours while listening to podcasts, and then I come inside, get cleaned up and start my creative day. There are a lot of stages to this work, so I could be working on preserving flowers, pouring resin, sanding, gluing, packaging or mailing, depending on the outstanding orders I have to fill. Working from home and be tricky, as I have a tendency to get tunnel vision and just work away at a task regardless of the time.

Valentin: How do you deal with the discomfort of taking on new skills, such as working with resin, in order to make new things? Is there ever a time where pouring resin isn't terrifying?

Lee: Taking on new tasks can be so intimidating. I've found I often need to sit on an idea and think it over for months, working out all the parts, the supplies I'll need, and the aesthetic I am in pursuit of. I had been thinking of working with resin for over a year before I finally sat down and poured for the first time, and I was just electric with a mix of excitement and fear of failure. Aside from a couple of Google searches and one old book, I taught myself about resin from top to bottom, and I am by no means done learning. It's humbling to take on a new medium and learn all of its ins and outs, and the pride that comes from solving a problem is immense. After a few months pouring resin turned from scary to just plain exciting and it remains my favourite part of the process.

“I wanted to make work I myself could afford, and would want to buy, not as a gift, but for myself to make me feel good.”

Valentin: What do you think you will be making when you're 90?

Lee: I can only imagine! I have no question that this is my life long pursuit—I will always be making and trying to express myself through objects. When my work was more focused in embroidery and fine hand work I used to worry that I wouldn't be able to be creative in this way when I was older and my motor functions decline, and I would worry that without those skills I would be nothing. But after switching to my current resin work it made me realize that there are endless mediums to inspire me, and that regardless of the physical limitations that naturally come with age, I'll find a way.

Valentin: What is a question that no one asks about your work?

Lee: One thing that I haven't been asked about Eau Claire resin is in regards to my intentionally low price points. I wanted to make work that was beautiful AND affordable, which is such a tricky balance to strike when working in handmade. I wanted to make work I myself could afford, and would want to buy, not as a gift, but for myself to make me feel good. Having worked for so many years making Be Proud merit badges that were predominately a gift item, I was so attracted to the idea of personal adornment, of women celebrating themselves. In hearing stories back from my wonderful retailers about young children coming in with their piggy banks, spending their hard saved dollars on a piece of my work for a friend or a mother... It’s everything. Making work that is magical and inspiring to young girls makes me feel so complete.

Lee Meszaros brings a charming, woodsy aesthetic to not only her work but in how she has expressed herself to me in her stories: the summertime crafting, the revival of the rose garden handed down to her from her grandma, the “natural magic,” as she puts it, that she casts in resin. I am encouraged by her honesty about her journey as an artist, and I think it would be interesting to talk to more artists about their work. It’s meaningful to hear from other young artists, especially ones who share similar motivations—nature, whimsy, interdisciplinary study—and to be reminded that no one can steal my ideas because it is my execution of them that makes them my own, to be reassured that the way that we work changes with the seasons. There is always work to be done, inside and out.

Interview by Valentin Brown.

#artist interview #lee meszaros #eauclaireresin #hamont #toronto artist #not my art #my writing

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