#and then the guys i hooked up with in college all apologized to me for how they treated me??

[creekbed-burial]

Good evening, who else up thinking about how they definitely haunt the narrative in all the men they’ve been involved withs lives??

[bich-the-moss]

Boy what the hell

[wavesmp3]

young & stupid

yoon jeonghan x reader (gender neutral)

you think yoon jeonghan is crazy when he asks if you'll pretend to date him, but luckily for him you're just young and dumb enough to agree.

genre: university + fake dating au word count: 14k warnings: alcohol, profanity, some explicit content, mentions of sex, and a very american writer who says soccer instead of football a/n: posted an unfinished version of this like 4 years ago and randomly decided one day a couple weeks ago to finish it. this is the most indulgent fic i have ever written. pls enjoy my birthday gift to myself lolol

Music bursts from every corner of the run-down frat house, chasing after you no matter where you run to escape it. Bodies endlessly spill in from the patio and front entrance, a never ending revolving door of college kids just like yourself looking for some kind of release after a long week of… well, college. But unlike most times you’ve paid a visit to Soonyoung’s frat house on a Friday night, tonight you’ve already decided that you are not going to be having fun at this party.

Soonyoung begged you to come, bribing your appearance with a promise to study with you for the next math quiz. Of course the first thing he does after walking into the house with you is ditch you. But even that, you deal with. You find some friends among the crowd, acquaint yourself with some beer, and almost start to have fun egging on a brewing dance battle. But all that ends the second you turn a corner too fast and are met with a full cup of bright red jungle juice all over your white shirt.

So now, upstairs in a bathroom Soonyoung let you in to, desperately trying to wash out the stains, you make a stubborn decision to not make another appearance at a frat party for the rest of the semester which you’re positive you’ll break by the time midterms are up.

But for now, helplessly staring at your reflection in the dirty mirror, you arrive to the conclusion that this damn jungle juice stain is not coming out. You exit the bathroom into the adjoining room and start grabbing your stuff to walk home.

“Who the fuck are you?” You jump at the voice that’s joined you in the room. You hadn’t even noticed anyone entering. You stare at the figure, mouth open. “How’d you get into my room?”

“Oh my gosh, so sorry,” you apologize in a hurried voice, packing your things up impossibly faster. “Soonyoung let me in. It was just supposed to be a quick thing–Wait no, that makes it sound like we were hooking up. Which we definitely were not. I can promise you that much, lol, not Soonyoung. But no, I just needed the bathroom. Cause this dude and his jungle juice, and…” you look down at your shirt. “Anyways, I was about to go home. I didn’t even–”

“Okay, wait, slow down.” The guy cuts you off. “You know Soonyoung.”

You nod. “Uh, yeah, we’re friends.”

He steps closer, narrowing his eyes at you, and for a moment you think the guy looks a little bit familiar. “And you’re not a stalker?”

This time you squint, jutting your head forward. “A stalker?” He stares at you unwavering. You scoff. “Um. No. Of course not.”

“Oh, okay, good.” He exhales, his previous demeanor falling entirely. “Well, in that case, let me help.” He walks towards one of the dressers, pulling the drawer open to rummage through it.

“No. That’s okay. You don’t have to–”

“Let me. Plus,” he gestures towards the general direction of your shirt without looking up from the drawer, “that can’t be comfortable. And it definitely isn’t flattering.”

You’re too stunned to say anything back. You’re not sure how you’d respond anyways to what you think counts as an insult from the dude who’s also helping you. You study him instead. You’ve definitely seen him around before, but you’re not entirely sure where or when because you probably would’ve remembered someone as attractive as him. He’s tall, soft-faced with longer hair that cuts off right under his ears, and damn is he attractive. In an obvious—in your face, weak in the knees, god this man is beautiful—kind of way. Not that you notice.

“Here.” He throws a tshirt your way, and you catch it between your arms. You both stare at each for a long moment, until he jumps on his heels a little as if he’s suddenly remembered something. “My bad, I’ll turn around.”

You stare unamused at his backside. He really doesn’t think you’re going to change with him in the room does he?

And almost as if he’s reading your mind, he says: “Don’t worry, I won’t peek.” He looks over his shoulder with a crooked, mischievous smile. “I mean unless you want me to.” Your stomach throws itself out the window.

You scoff. “I’ll just change in the bathroom.” You fully expect the guy to be gone by the time you exit the bathroom, but instead he’s still there, sitting at the edge of the bed on his phone.

You clear your throat. “Thanks for the shirt.”

“Oh, yeah,” he looks up from his phone and takes you in. You swear his mouth twitches into a half smile. “It’s no big deal.

You let out an awkward half laugh, half sigh. “So, I’ll get this shirt back to you somehow. Thanks again.”

He nods, still staring at the air around your body with that sickeningly charming half smile. You turn for the door.

“Wait!” You pause, facing the boy again who is now standing up, arm stretched out towards you. He drops it at once like it was never supposed to be there. “Are you going back to the party?”

You actually laugh at that. “God, no. I’m going home.”

“Oh.” He tilts his head, and then opens and closes his mouth as if the words keep getting lost in the back of his throat. You try not to think too hard about how endearing the action is. “I can give you a ride if you want.”

You shake your head quickly. “No, that’s alright. I don’t live that far.” You live on the opposite side of campus.

He grabs a set of keys off his desk. “Let me. I wanna get out of this party too. But sadly,” he motions to the room you’re both standing in, then leans towards you a little, “I live here.”

And you know you should refuse. You know there is nothing sensical about letting this stranger, whose name you don’t even know, take you home. But there’s something about his smile and the tufts of hair falling over his forehead, something about the way he gave you his shirt that makes you say yes against your better judgment.

It turns out, leaving the party with the mysteriously nice guy, who’s conveniently hot (again, not that you’re looking), is much harder than it looks. The only plus side to getting bombarded with people wanting to talk to him, is that you learn his name: Jeonghan. And it hits you then, of course you’ve seen him around before. Well, maybe not him, but you’ve definitely seen his picture. His face is plastered over all of the university’s promotional material. Half the school has a crush on Jeonghan, the star soccer player. Unfortunately for you and your apparently impossible wish to go home, it also appears that half the school is at this party and fueled with liquid confidence.

“Hey Jeonghan,” one person in particular slurs, appearing in front of you and him magically. Yeah, you think, if I were him I’d want to get out of this party too. Then as if the stranger has come to their senses, they jump back and clasp their hands over their mouth. A blush paints itself all over their face. “So sorry. I must’ve tripped or something…” they laugh awkwardly. Jeonghan does too. You look over at him and find that he looks incredibly uncomfortable.

“It’s fine,” he tells them, holding his hands up, “I gotta go. See you around though.” And Jeonghan’s turning on his heel ready to dash for the door.

“Wait a second!” The person calls, grabbing Jeonghan’s arm before he can slip out of the house. He turns back around begrudgingly. “I was uh I was sort of wondering if you’d like to maybe go out or something—“

You watch them ask out Jeonghan on a date, and well, it’s sort of cute. The stranger clearly harbors a massive crush on Jeonghan. They’re not being rude or pushy, and honestly, even after accounting for the alcohol, they’re more confident and bold than you’d be. You find yourself wanting to congratulate them. But then, with another look at Jeonghan’s face, you feel a burst of pity. You know that look. Jeonghan is going to turn them down.

“I, uh, I’m really flattered but I…” Jeonghan stutters through his words, shooting you a glance asking for help. You just shrug. Suddenly his smirk reappears. He grabs your hand, pulling you to his slide and lifting your joined hands up like a trophy. “I’m actually with them.”

Your teeth clench immediately to keep your mouth from falling open. You stare at Jeonghan, eyes screaming.

“Oh sorry,” the person looks between the two of you, “I didn’t know.”

You stare at Jeonghan, waiting for him to say something and failing to find any words for yourself. But instead of continuing his lie verbally, he decides to act it out even further, bringing your hands up to his lips and pressing the faintest kiss to your knuckle.

That fucker.

“Yeah,” you sigh, grasping at straws for something to say that sounds convincing with your one free hand. “It’s new.” You squeeze Jeonghan’s hand hard enough to know it has to have hurt and promptly drag him out of the house.

Once you’re in his car, safe from all his suitors. You round on him. “You couldn’t have just said no?”

“That was their third time asking me out.”

“And?”

“Turning down people is hard.” He whines, pushing the keys in the car and starting the ignition. “It was just easier to say we’re dating. Plus, you’re in my shirt so it already looks like we just had sex.”

“Or,” you gasp, exasperated, “it looks like I got jungle juice on my shirt, and you just gave me one to wear!”

He gives you a look. “Now, who would believe that?”

You have the sudden desire to dissolve into the seat.

“Anyways,” he says, putting the car in reverse, “where to?”

“East campus. The Austin Complex.”

He makes a triumphant noise while stopping at a red light. “It appears I’m not the only one that’s been telling lies tonight. Not that far you said.”

You gape at him. “My lie is not comparable to yours.”

“Actually I think it is.” He taps a finger to his chin. “In fact, I think it even makes us equal.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

He holds out his pinky as a peace offering. “I’m not moving until you agree.”

“Jeonghan, the light’s green.”

He glances at the green traffic light and proceeds to turn his hazards on in the middle of the fucking road all while keeping his pinky in the exact same spot.

“Are you crazy?”

“Most people don’t think so.”

“People will honk.”

“It’s 1 am.”

You say his name. He says yours. The light turns yellow, and you feel a rush of warmth.

“Fine.” You huff, joining your pinky with his. “We’re equal.”

He passes the light just as it turns red.

—

You haven’t seen Jeonghan since the entire incident. In truth, you’ve been so busy studying for your math quiz with Soonyoung that you almost hadn’t even thought about that night again. Emphasis on almost. However, when you get your score back the following week, the hours you spent studying appear to have been wasted. You slump into a bench outside the lecture hall, holding another barely passing grade to your chest.

And in the midst of your public wallowing, you feel a flick to your forehead.

You yelp and snap your eyes open to Jeonghan who stands before you snickering. “What was that for?”

“Payback.”

You say holding out your pinky as a reminder. “I thought we were even.” He shrugs, sporting a smirk that makes your stomach churn. It should be illegal for someone to look that good with a smirk.

“Excuse me?”

Fuck. Did you say that outloud?

“Nothing.” You quickly mutter, shaking your head. He invites himself to sit down next to you.

“Anyway, what’s wrong with you?”

You groan at the reminder. “Multi.”

“Multivariable calculus?” He asks to which you nod. “Who do you have?”

“Lubinsky.”

Defying all laws of reason and physics, Jeonghan perks up a bit. “Oh, I loved him.”

“His quizzes are impossible.”

“Yeah, but he’s funny.”

You scrunch your noise. “When did you even take multi? Aren’t you a business major?”

He tilts his head at you. “How do you know my major?” You might’ve asked Soonyoung about Jeonghan during one of your study sessions, but you definitely weren’t about to admit that now. Luckily for you, he continues without an answer. “I switched majors last year.”

“Then you must know how much I despise sketching in three axes.” You complain, throwing your head back against the wall.

“Just wait until you get to finding extrema.” Jeonghan hums. You want to shove your head through the damn wall just from the sound of it.

“May my grade rest in peace in that case,” you mutter, fishing through your bag. “Here’s your shirt back.”

He takes it. “So people kind of think we’re dating after the party.”

You can’t help it. You laugh at the look on his face. “Yeah, what did you expect when you said we were together?” He doesn’t say anything. “Don’t worry. I’ll clear the air.”

He furrows his brows at you. “What? No. That’s not what I mean. I…” he hesitates, scratching an area behind his neck. “Well, this past week has been surprisingly calm for me. Not a ton of confessions.” (“Oh, poor Jeonghan,” you murmur.) He looks at you hopefully, “So, I was thinking we keep up the charade.”

You make a noise. “Like fake dating?”

“Yes.”

“Haha, very funny.”

“No, seriously.” He says earnestly. You don’t say anything for a moment just staring at him flabbergasted. He softens, giving you a very soft, “please,” paired with big, brown, pleading eyes.

Goddamn it–those eyes.

You turn your body towards him. “What do I get out of it?”

“I’ll tutor you.” He says, pointing to your quiz grade. You flip the paper upside down. “I got an A in multi.”

“No one makes an A with Lubinsky.”

“Which is exactly why you want me as your tutor.”

You think about it for a moment longer, and, well…

Fake dating Yoon Jeonghan can’t be the worst thing in the world.

—

As you find out during your first session, Jeonghan is not what you’d call a ‘chill’ tutor. You’re both sitting in a far corner of the library, notes splayed out all over the table.

“Do it again.”

“Jeonghan please, we’ve been finding directional derivatives and unit normal vectors for so long now. Let’s take a break.”

He points to your worksheet. “One more.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“I thought you wanted an A.”

“You know, a C isn’t sounding so bad right now.”

“Just do it.”

You groan and set up another integral.

To your complete and utter shock, you’re able to solve the problem all on your own. No clarifying questions to Jeonghan. No flipping through your lecture notes. Just you and the answer.

Jeonghan checks it over, eyes darting between your notebook and his laptop. He pauses for a minute, finger lingering by your boxed, final answer, before very quietly saying, “look at that.” He looks up to you, eyes widened and lips pursed together in a pleasant surprise.

You can barely contain yourself. “It’s right?”

“Well,” he draws out the word, sitting back in his chair and erasing his previous expression. “You still rounded wrong at this step—“

You throw your pencil down. “I’M RIGHT!”

Which unsurprisingly earns you a couple dirty looks from others.

He snickers at your excitement, offering you silent applause at the achievement.

“So can we take a break now?”

He looks at you for a long moment. You stare at him back, shaking your shoulders as if that would convince him of a break. He smiles. “Okay, fine, but only for ten minutes.”

You end up taking it on the roof of the library building, eating an assortment of snacks that you bought from the vending machine and Jeonghan brought from home.

“So, tell me,” you start, grabbing a chip from the bag, “the confessions can’t really be that bad, can they?”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean,” you sit up in your chair, stretching out your back, “enough for you to spend your Thursday afternoon doing all this?”

“Ah.” He exhales, sitting down further in his seat and popping a grape in his mouth. “Well, I like to teach.”

“And what about the whole fake dating ruse?”

He shrugs. “It’s easier than being the asshole that says no.”

You lean forward, squinting at him. “I don’t believe that.”

He cocks his head. “No?”

You shake yours. “No.”

“What about you then?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “How come I know nothing about you?”

“How come you haven’t asked?”

He swipes his tongue over his lips briefly, sizing your question up. Quietly, he says, “Touche.” Then leads forward in his seat and asks if you have an ex.

You steal a grape. “Not an official one.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that there was this guy before university, and we were…” you push the grape in your mouth, letting the burst of it give you time to find the right words. They never come. “We were something,” you settle on, “but he just ended up being more trouble than he was worth. Ask Soonyoung. He’s always hated the guy’s guts.”

“I can’t imagine Soonyoung hating anyone.” Jeonghan muses, pushing the tupperware of grapes towards you.

“Yeah, well, Soonyoung hated people who treated others like they were disposable.”

“So why’d you date him then?”

For a moment, you’re taken aback by the question. Replaying the words over and over in your mind looking for a hint of mockery or judgment. You don’t find any. Instead, you find his brows knitted together, and his lips pushed to the side of this mouth. The question is genuine. A wholehearted curiosity that feels so misplaced coming from the guy who has suitors falling at his feet at least once a day. It’s an innocent kind of curiosity that isn’t trying to pry; it’s only trying to understand. And that thought, the very idea that Jeonghan might actually be trying to get to know you, makes your entire body inexplicably shiver.

The curiosity in his voice bends over and touches yours. “What? You’ve never been young and stupid before?”

He shakes his head. “I was so focused on school and soccer when I was younger. I feel like I never gave myself the chance to just do dumb things, date shitty people, etc. etc.”

Gravely, you say. “It’s really not that exciting.”

He laughs. “I know.” His voice dips. “I just wish I had figured that out myself.”

Jeonghan doesn’t meet your eyes when he says it, but he makes this face, this sad-eyed, forced smile face that makes him look so suddenly vulnerable. Like you could tap his shoulder and watch him unravel from head to toe. You feel a rush of pity in the middle of your chest, a quiet urge to reach over and give him all the teenage regrets he never got to have. Instead, you lean towards him and say, “You’re still young. You can still do dumb things. Date shitty people.”

His eyes flit up to you. You notice what a beautiful shade of brown they are. How big they are. How sincerely sad they look. (And you know, somewhere, in a very far corner of your mind, that those eyes will be the ultimate death of you.)

“Well, I don’t know about that last part.” He starts, rubbing his hands against his jeans. “Technically, I’m dating you.”

You place your palm on your chest. “And I swear to be the shittiest fake partner you’ll ever have.”

He smiles. The sun emerges from behind a cloud. And his eyes–you swear to god–they glimmer.

—

You and Jeonghan’s first outing as an official fake couple is back at the frat house. To your surprise Jeonghan stays by your side the entire time. He takes you around the house, gets you a drink, and introduces you to his friends, but you’re quick to shoot down any shock because what else would a fake boyfriend be doing at a party. Although it’s not as easy to calm down the beating of your heart when Jeonghan’s hand finds its way into yours at some point in the night. By the time the party is in full swing, people bursting from every open door and window in the house, you’re already a little tipsy.

You’re getting a refill for your nearly done drink when another girl appears in front of Jeonghan. From the way she’s twirling her hair between her fingers and leaning into one hip, you can tell that, at least from her end, it’s more than just a friendly conversation. But even that doesn’t really explain what makes you act the way you do. Maybe it’s the alcohol, you reason. Or maybe the fact that Jeonghan’s popularity is just as contagious as the rest of him. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that you’ve gotten a little too invested in this whole fake dating act. Either way, you swallow reason with the last of your drink, strut up to the both of them, and latch yourself to Jeonghan’s side, letting your arm wrap around his. You give the girl a snotty ‘sorry, he’s taken’ before dragging Jeonghan away, giggling into your palm with no intention to return. When you look back at Jeonghan, you find him looking quite amused as well.

“That was good!” He tells you by the time you’re both in the hallway. “But you know what would really seal the deal?”

You’re excited. Fake dating is fun. “What?”

“If we kissed?”

“Oh, please.” Your eyes do a drunken loop de loop. “I’m gonna go get my refill.”

“No, seriously.” He says with a look you can’t quite comprehend. “Look. She’s still watching.”

You look beyond his shoulder and sure enough, the girl is still watching you and him in the hallway. And she looks pissed. Maybe Jeonghan wasn’t that far off with the stalker accusation.

“You see what I have to deal with. Just one kiss. We probably won’t even have to do it again after this.”

“Probably?” You echo.

“Well, yeah, I can’t make any promises.” He shrugs except that you barely hear the words because you’re too focused on taking a tiny step back each time he takes a tiny step towards you. Eventually, the charade ends. Your heel and head meet the wall. His knee meets yours.

You’re painfully aware of your own breathing when you say, “When I said to be young and stupid this is not what I meant.”

He giggles in your face. You can smell the vodka on his breath. Is he drunk? Are you?

“Who’s going to believe we’re dating if we never kiss?”

And well, you can’t really argue with that logic. “Fine, but keep it short.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Do I look like the kind of guy to keep a kiss short?” You snort at that, and when he takes yet another step closer to you, your hands instinctively fly up against his chest. He tangles his fingers between yours and pulls your hands down, resting his forehead against yours. “Hey,” he says except that he’s so close it’s more like he exhales the word and inhales you, “can I kiss you now?”

He lets go of your hands, as if he’s making sure you know you have an out. Your eyes flit up to his, only to find that he’s watching your lips.

“Oh, fuck it,” is what you say before you fist his shirt and pull him in so that his lips meet yours.

And the moment you do all of your previous precautions are thrown out the window because—dang how long has it been since you’ve kissed someone?

Somewhere along the kiss, you lose yourself in the sensation of it, tugging on Jeonghan’s shirt. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in until your bodies are flush against each other. And when he slips his tongue into your mouth you tell yourself you allow it to happen because you’re tipsy or touch starved or both. Although none of those excuses explain why your arms snake around his neck and why your entire body turns to jelly when he moans in your mouth.

“Hey lovebirds,” you hear Soonyoung yell from somewhere thousands and thousands lightyears away, somewhere so far away you barely hear it, “get a room.” You both pull away from the kiss, faces only moving a tiny bit apart. Neither of you try to remove yourselves from the other's arms. He smiles, wide enough that his cheek brushes up against your nose, and it makes you forget where you are. Your ears betray you. You let yourself think he’s talking about the kiss and not the charade when he says, “Thanks for that.”

You throw caution to the window, laughing freely against his face. “Asshole. You knew I wouldn’t say no.”

He steps back, pulling away from your embrace. “Yeah,” he mutters, looking back to the main room, “that should do it.” You follow his eyes to see the girl from earlier whispering to a friend while sneaking glances at you two. You’re reminded of the whole reason you and Jeonghan were kissing in the first place.

He points to your cup. “Shot?”

You laugh—or well at least you try to—but it gets caught in your throat and distorted into a small cough. You swallow. “Yes.”

—

Thankfully, things aren’t awkward between you and Jeonghan after the party, although there’s no real reason for there to be other than the fact that you agreed to fake date him without really thinking about what else it would implicate. In fact, things are sort of easy with Jeonghan. He finds you around campus more often, and you find him too, walking each other to class and grabbing coffee when you both have a spare moment. In the midst of getting a fake boyfriend, you also get a new friend. With Jeonghan’s help, you actually start understanding math enough to complete the homework without having to flip back to the textbook every question. And it’s not too long after the party that you’re planning your next outing as a couple.

—

The stands of the field are absolutely packed with people. You had no idea soccer games rallied this much interest at your school.

“We’re playing a top ranked school apparently,” Soonyoung reads off a sign as you both make your way towards the student section. Luckily, he knows as little about the sport as you do. “So, why exactly did you agree to fake date Jeonghan?”

“He’s tutoring me in multi.” You explain to him, scanning the stands. While walking over to the game, you had told Soonyoung about the whole act, confirming what he already started to suspect when you first suggested going to the soccer game together. (“Drunken makeout I get.” Soonyoung had said. “But going to his games seemed like a stretch.” You shoved him off the sidewalk.)

“At least you’re getting something out of it.” He snorts. “Who are we looking for?”

You show him the text from Jeonghan, telling you to sit with his friend. “Do you know him?”

Soonyoung looks into the crowd. “Him?” He asks, pointing to a guy waving you and him over. You inhale sharply, waving back. “So if it’s fake, why is Jeonghan having you meet his friends?” Soonyoung asks as you head over.

“He has his reasons.” You offer, having asked a similar question yourself. You reach the stand where his friend is seated, crossing past the others in the row and gently apologizing as you bump into dozens of knees.

“Hi, I’m Joshua.” Jeonghan’s friend introduces himself as you and Soonyoung take your seats. You return the greeting, introducing yourself to him. Looking around the student section, you notice everyone else dressed in school merchandise. “Was I supposed to wear school colors for this?”

Soonyoung gives you a long look. Then just laughs in your face.

“Asshole.” You grumble quietly. “Could’ve said something.”

Joshua laughs as well, although much less in-your-face than Soonyoung’s. “I’m surprised Jeonghan didn’t give you like a jersey to wear or something.”

You had meant the asshole in question to be Soonyoung, not Jeonghan, but you don’t really have the heart to correct him. Instead, while waiting for the game to start, you ask, “How do you know Jeonghan?”

“Oh, we met freshman year. We both rushed the frat together, but I dropped after one semester.” Soonyoung pops in then, telling Joshua about when he rushed, and the two boys talk about other people they both mutually know. As one does.

They run out of people after a person named Jihoon. Joshua turns back to you. “How did you and Jeonghan meet? I haven’t even gotten the full story yet.”

“We met through Soonyoung, technically, I guess. At the house during a party. Soonyoung let me into his bathroom.”

Joshua nods, and with a playful lilt adds, “not a stalker, are you?”

You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth and turn back to Soonyoung on the other side of you. “I hope you know I’m never beating the stalker allegations because of you.”

Soonyoung smiles smugly at you.

“No, I’m kidding,” Joshua says through a laugh hidden behind his palm. “I just know how paranoid Jeonghan is about that stuff now.”

The wording pokes at a corner of your mind. “Now?”

Joshua nods, solemnly almost. “He actually had one last year. Didn’t end up being anything seriously endangering luckily. But he barely left his dorm for the rest of the semester after all was said and done.”

You think back to your conversation with Jeonghan on the roof of the library. You feel a familiar pang of pity bloom in your chest. He never got to just be young. Outloud, you hear yourself saying, “stupid.”

Joshua leans towards you. “What?”

You wave it off, and the crowd erupts into cheer. Everybody starts standing up, yelling and jumping and whooping. You hesitate for too long obviously. Soonyoung pulls you up by your arm. You see the team rush the field and the crowd gets impossibly louder. You look for Jeonghan among the players scanning each of them until you find him towards the left side of the field, warming up or something. You’re not really sure. Either way, you hear yourself start cheering when you find him, hands cupping around your mouth. The game starts soon enough with Joshua explaining to you and Soonyoung which position Jeonghan plays and what the hell is happening each time a player receives a card. After the first 15 minutes, you actually get a pretty good understanding of the whole thing.

The first half comes to a close with the opposing team up by one goal and Jeonghan’s team looking exhausted and dispirited.

“Hey, I gotta head out.” Soonyoung tells you once everything has settled down for halftime. “Still have to finish that chem lab due tonight.”

You grimace at the reminder of the report. “Good luck. It took me 5 hours.”

He gives you a miserable thumbs up. Then, turns his attention to Joshua. “It was nice to meet you.”

Joshua returns the sentiment. “I’ll see you at Tim’s once you’re done with the report though, right?”

Soonyoung’s lips turn to a fine line. “I, well, it’s a funny story but uh…”

“He’s banned from Tim’s.” You finish for him.

Joshua does not hide his shock. Soonyoung just shrugs and walks off. Joshua turns to you, exasperated. “But it’s the only bar in town.”

You inhale, “And Soonyoung is the type to get impulsively banned from it for the rest of college.” The answer doesn’t seem to do much of anything for Joshua’s profound confusion. “What’s at Tim’s tonight?”

“Oh, the team always goes there after games. They normally invite some friends too. Whoever can make it out basically.” You nod at his explanation, watching as people leave the stands then return, holding steaming, paper cartons of food. God, that smells good. You crane your neck to see. Are those corn dogs? “Did Jeonghan not tell you about it?”

“What?” He pulls you out of a trance of your own. “Oh, yeah, yeah. I think he mentioned it. I probably just forgot.”

Joshua chuckles politely. “So are you coming?”

Oh crap. “Uh, well…” A million lies run through your mind, chasing past one another, zigzagging in your brain. You have homework. You have other plans. You and Jeonghan aren’t even actually dating. Well—a million lies and one truth you guess. Either way, they all fizzle to nothing. Jeonghan didn’t tell you about the tradition at Tim’s. He probably doesn’t even want you there. So what the hell are you supposed to tell his best friend?

Luckily, you never have to figure that out. Fanfare erupts through the crowd, the announcer sounds throughout the entire field. “Oh the game’s restarting,” you mutter. Joshua is either genuinely disinterested in your response or just polite enough to not ask about it again. You have a crummy feeling it’s the latter.

The second half of the game is much more intense than the first. Your school’s team comes out blazing, scoring a goal in the first ten minutes in an insane effort led by the player with a 7 on his back. And the crowd, you included, absolutely lose their shit. You’re jumping up and down on the stands, screaming at the top of your lungs, voice lost among the rest. The team rushes to the right corner of the field closest to the student section, colliding in hugs and jumps and screaming maybe even louder than the hundreds of you in the stands. You watch Jeonghan in the celebration, hair matted down with sweat, mouth ajar in a soundless cheer, embracing a teammate before ditching him to literally jump on top of another. Your yells turn to laughs. And before you know it, the game is back on, all players racing across the field in a mad dash. The ball goes flying. Penalty cards flying to nearly every player at least once. The entire student section is at the edge of their seats. Time seems to fly by with unified chants filling your ears and throat. There’s only 10 minutes left. The game is still in a tie, and you really don’t feel like sitting here for the extra time. Then, someone starts singing the school’s fight song. Eventually, the whole section is singing it. You included. It ignites something in the team.

The opposing team has the ball, dribbling it across the field and passing it back and forth. Out of nowhere, one of your school’s players appears right next to the opponent with the ball. He kicks the ball out from under the other player, taking him and the rest of the stands by surprise. The ball rolls from under his knees to another of your school’s players. Jeonghan’s teammate is in action immediately, sprinting away with the ball to the opposite side of the field, feet flying faster than your mind can even comprehend. And just as one of the opposing team’s members closes in on him, he punts the ball in the air and it flies and flies and flies. Your heart lurches. There’s no mistaking it–the ball is aimed for Jeonghan. 7 minutes left. Jeonghan receives the ball perfectly, immediately racing away with it towards the goal. An opponent chases after him, forcing him to head nearer and nearer to the touchlines. It all happens so fast. The other player kicks his feet out to steal the ball. Jeonghan crosses the ball over to another teammate. The teammate receives it with his head. He dribbles it forward for half a second and then shoots. Time nearly stops when he does. The goalie throws their entire body to block the ball, and every present body watches, stupefied, as the ball blows right past the goalie’s head and lands squarely within the goal.

And if you thought the previous goal’s celebration was loud, this one’s is deafening. The entire stadium roars in pride. Your school won. Jeonghan won. And you can’t stop fucking smiling.

—

Joshua convinces you to wait for Jeonghan and the rest of the team at Tim’s with him. You do. For matters of fake dating but also because you could really use a beer. Conversation with Joshua is fun and light. By the time you’re both on your second round, his politeness dims to tease you for your drink of choice. You see now why he’s one of Jeonghan’s closest friends.

There’s commotion towards the entrance. You turn your heads towards it and watch Jeonghan’s team rumble through the tiny door, yelling at god knows what and rushing to the bar.

Joshua stands to go say hi. You follow him, walking slightly behind. Jeonghan finds you before you both find him. He tackles Joshua first, hugging him from the side, and literally ‘whooping’ into his ear. Joshua smacks at his face at first, but eventually joins him in the repeated ‘whooping’ jumping up and down in celebration. Then Jeonghan sees you. The whooping fades. He stares.

You swallow.

“Yah!” He exclaims, releasing Joshua and pointing a finger at your shirt. “I thought I told you to wear the jersey I gave you.”

Your face drops. Whatever happened to ‘hi’, ‘hello’, ‘how are you’?

Joshua says something about the bathroom and walks to the back of the bar.

You shake your head at the remaining boy. “It’s a little bit concerning how good you are at lying, you know.”

“Well, we can’t have people suspecting us.” He retorts, stepping closer to you as someone passes behind him.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” You ask, quiet enough for no one else to hear, face scrunching. “I didn’t know what to say to Joshua earlier, but I can definitely make up a lie if you want to just–”

“Are you kidding?” He grabs you by the shoulders, shaking you back and forth. “I want you here! We have to celebrate. This was the biggest game of the season, and we won it!” Then, with that same crooked smile you noticed upon first meeting, he adds, “Plus, you’re not very good at lying.”

You scoff. “Even now, you have the capacity for assholery.”

His eyebrows zip together. “I don’t think that’s a word.”

“It could be.”

Someone pats Jeonghan on the back, handing him a drink. Jeonghan asks what it is. The other person tells him to just drink it. Jeonghan does so begrudgingly. You recognize the person to be player number 7.

“Hi, I’m Seungcheol,” number 7 says to you, holding out his hand. You shake it, introducing yourself and congratulating him on the game.

“Hey, is assholery a word?” Jeonghan asks his teammate, watching your face contort through a thousand different variations of annoyance and disbelief.

Seungcheol looks between the two of you. “Uh, no. Don’t think so.”

“Ha!” Jeonghan wags a finger in your face. “You owe me a drink.”

You narrow your eyes at him, but you head towards the bar with Jeonghan anyways, where you find Joshua again ordering the three of you a round of shots. “No, no,” he insists, when you try to tell him that you’re already buying drinks, “I owe Jeonghan a drink anyways.”

And as you find out throughout the course of the night, apparently every other patron at Tim’s owes Jeonghan a drink. You lose count of how many times you’ve heard him say so after your third beer. Joshua makes his exit soon after that and conveniently right before the team starts singing the fight song again. You start dreaming of bed when a guy you recognize as number 3 gets on a chair and starts leading the crowd.

Your phone buzzes.

Soonyoung [1:23 AM]: finished the report :0

Soonyoung [1:23 AM]: finally

Soonyoung [1:24 AM]: how’s tim’s

You [1:24 AM]: did you know they had a karaoke machine?

Soonyoung [1:25 AM]: do you not remember how i got banned in the first place

You [1:25 AM]: sore subject mb

You [1:27 AM]: damn how’d you finish the report so fast

You [1:27 AM]: you only started it after the game right

Soonyoung [1:28 AM]: u know me xD

An odd feeling settles in your stomach as they start the last stanza of the fight song. You shove your phone in your pocket and ask for the check.

By 2 am, the celebration is finally winding down, and the entire team is collectively too drunk to stand. “Come on, Jeonghan,” you pull him away as he says goodbye to his friends for the millionth time. “Let’s go home.”

He finally relents, turning away from his friends and throwing both his arms over your shoulders, hugging you from the back. “Let’s go to yours.”

“Mine? Why?”

“It’s closer.” Then after a moment, he bumps his chin against your shoulder and adds, “Plus, I wanna see your room.”

“Fine,” you huff and start walking. Jeonghan releases himself from your back, electing to walk on his own until you realize he’s too much of a wanderer to be unattached, drifting off to the edge of the sidewalk or in the wrong direction every chance he gets. He asks you to carry him. You settle for holding his hand. The two of you walk quietly back to your dorm. That is until Jeonghan starts humming the fight song again. You snap. “Is that the only song you guys know tonight?”

He stops humming and apologizes. You don’t say anything back. Then, very quietly, sounding so infuriatingly innocent, he says, “I didn’t mean to get this drunk.”

You’re an asshole. “No. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m just a little… upset right now.”

He burps. “Because of me?”

The look on his face when he says it pulls a laugh from between your lips. “No. Not because of you.” You make a right onto your street, dragging Jeonghan along as he tries to take a left. “Anyway, I thought student athletes weren’t supposed to drink.”

“No, we’re not supposed to get caught drinking.” Jeonghan holds out his hand in front of him, as if to say ‘stop’ to something invisible to you. “Very different.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Either way, I don’t drink that much.”

You scoff, stopping in front of the door to your building. “What do you mean? You drank last weekend.”

He shakes his head. “That was a special occasion.”

“And the occasion was…?”

He looks you dead in the eye.

“You make me nervous.”

Then, he turns around and vomits into the bushes behind him.

Once you get him to your apartment and in your bathroom, you leave him to vomit out the alcohol. Returning after the retching sounds recede and you’ve changed into pjs. He’s seated on the floor beside the toilet, eyes closed and head resting against the wall. You sit on the other side. Thank god, you cleaned this bathroom yesterday. “How do you feel?” You ask him.

He inhales. “Much better now that I…” He gestures to the toilet.

“Here.” You hand him a glass of water.

He opens his eyes and takes it, drinking from it slowly. “Sorry I got so drunk.”

“You already apologized 30 times on the way up here.” You remind him.

“But I’m really sorry.”

“And I really don’t mind.”

He considers that for a long moment. “You sure?”

You lean forward. “I’m sure. More water?”

He shakes his head, wordlessly eyeing your pajama pants. You look down at your snoopy pants. You hadn’t thought too hard about your choice of bottoms when you changed. “Cute.” He mutters, smiling at them.

You mumble back a ‘thanks’.

“So, what’d you think of the game?”

You tell him honestly how much fun you had watching them play, giving him every reaction you had to every move made and all your unfiltered opinions on the refs. He listens intently, filling you in on all the thoughts that ran through his head while they were playing and every conversation that happened on the sidelines.

“Thanks for coming.” He tells you once you’ve both exhausted all opinions relating to the game itself. “And for meeting Joshua and coming out to Tim’s afterwards and then getting me out of Tim’s too.”

“Jeonghan, it’s really not that big of a deal. And Joshua was a lot of fun to hang out with.”

“Hey, don’t get too attached.” He warns. “I’m the one you’re fake dating.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“So, then, as your fake boyfriend,” he gulps down the last of the water, “are you going to tell me what you were so upset about?”

You exhale, flexing your fingers. “It’s stupid.”

“And here I was thinking we had made a pact to be young and dumb.” You run your tongue over your top row of teeth, holding back a smile. “So, what happened?”

“I just got this text from Soonyoung that he finished this one assignment. And, I don’t know, I just felt so ridiculous because it took me so much longer than him to do.”

“Which assignment? The chem lab?”

You don’t remember telling Jeonghan about it. “Uh, yeah. How did you–”

“Man, who cares if it took you longer? I know Soonyoung, and I know you, and I bet yours is a million times better than his. No offense to Soonyoung, but I’m pretty sure he’d agree anyways.”

“Okay, you’re drunk.”

“That may be true, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re brilliant.”

Something about the way he says it, how steady his voice is maybe or the way he refuses to look away, forces you to see how much he believes it. But even that, doesn’t do much to change what you think.

“What are you talking about? I wouldn’t even be passing multi if it weren’t for you.” Your voice cracks as you say the words, making it all come out sounding much sadder than you had intended it to. You hope he doesn’t notice.

“That’s really not true.” You can’t even trust yourself to respond to him. He pouts. “Are you upset again?”

“A little.”

“I’m sorry. Let’s drop it.”

“Gladly.” Then, after a moment, you laugh at how silly it all is.

“First fight of the relationship.” He gives you your second half smile of the night. “I think we should hug it out.”

Your body reacts to the words before you do. “I disagree–”

“Did you just cringe?”

“–you smell like vomit.”

“Well, do you have clothes for me?”

“No, but I have a couch.”

He holds his index finger up. “I’ll take it.”

—

(When you wake up the next morning, Jeonghan’s gone. You open your phone and find 2 more apologies and 3 more thank you’s from him.

You try to ignore the twinge of disappointment.)

—

When the third weekend of fake dating rolls around, you admittedly are a bit tired of going to parties and getting drunk. So when Jeonghan asks what the plans are, you suggest he say that he’s taking you out on a date instead.

As such, you’ve spent nearly the entire day in bed. You’re heating up some water on the stove to make ramen when you get a text from Jeonghan saying he’s five minutes away. You stare at the text. The fuck does that mean?

Unsurprisingly, it ends up meaning that he was literally five minutes away. You open the door when he knocks and stare at him standing in the doorway.

“What are you wearing?” Is the first thing he says. You look down at your outfit. “You should’ve told me this was going to be a sweats kind of date before I put real clothes on.”

“Date?”

“Don’t look so surprised, it was your idea.” Jeonghan reminds you, strutting into your kitchen.

“No, no.” You say, returning to your boiling water. “My idea was to tell people we’re going on a date. Like as a cover.”

“Oh.” He falls down onto your couch. “Well I’m here so get dressed there’s this new ramen place I wanna try.”

You sigh, turning the stovetop off before trudging to your room to change.

The ‘date’ ends up being quite nice. You discuss a study plan to prepare for your math midterm over a much yummier bowl of ramen than you had planned on consuming today. Afterwards, you walk the streets of downtown, only intending to window shop. However, now, standing in a small boutique, Jeonghan tries to convince you to buy matching necklaces.

“Come on, they’re so cute.”

“We don’t need matching necklaces, Jeonghan.”

“A real couple would definitely have matching necklaces.”

“Good thing we’re not one.”

“Fine then. Guess I’ll just stop tutoring you in math too. You know Lubinsky’s midterms are almost as hard as his finals, right?”

You grab two of the necklaces and turn to the cashier. “How much?” You swear you hear Jeonghan whoop from behind you.

—

“Hey,” Jeonghan whispers, “we’re here.” You open your eyes slowly, not even registering that you fell asleep on the ride back to campus after the date-but-not-date. “You drool when you sleep by the way.”

And that wakes you up. You wipe whatever drool is left on your mouth, muttering a small and embarrassed ‘shut up’.

“What are you doing for the rest of your day?” He asks as you gather your things from his car.

“Absolutely nothing. Today’s the last day to rot before midterm prep starts.” You tell him, looking for your wallet. “What about you?”

“Avoiding a mixer at the house tonight.” He reaches into the center console and hands you the leather slip.

You take the wallet gratefully. “Wanna join me? We can make some tea. Watch a movie.”

He puts the car in park. “I know just what we should watch.”

And that’s how you end up on your couch with Jeonghan, two emptied mugs sitting on the coffee table, blanket draped over your legs, and the worst movie you’ve seen to date playing in the background.

“Wow, this movie sucks ass.”

“This,” Jeonghan gestures passionately to the screen, “is cinema.” You clasp your hands together as if in prayer. He takes a double take at the motion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m thanking god that your major is business and not film.” He immediately smacks apart your hands. “Don’t lie.” You say gasping for air between laughs. “This movie is objectively not good.”

His tongue peeks out between his lips, you practically see the smiling begging to emerge on his face. “Okay, so it might not be all that it was hyped up to be, but–”

“Ha!” You point a finger in his face. “I knew you hated it.” He slumps into the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “Do you want more tea?” You ask. He soundlessly nods, refusing to move his eyes from the tv screen.

You stand to make some, grabbing both mugs from the table. “So, do you not have a roommate?” Jeonghan questions, as you pour water from the kettle into the mugs.

You look to the second, empty room of your apartment style dorm. “Actually, no. There was supposed to be someone there, but they moved or dropped out at the start of the year and the school never filled the room.”

“Ah.” Jeonghan clicks, nodding as if finally putting together the last piece of a puzzle “So, that’s why you’re so friendless.”

You return to the couch with full mugs. “I am not friendless.” He makes a face. “Really. I have friends.”

“Other than Soonyoung?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, name them.” You kick him under the blanket. “Fine. You have friends.” (“I have friends.”) “But how come you never talk about hanging out with them?”

You exhale slowly, sinking further into the couch. “I just didn’t do too well in school last semester, so I promised myself I would focus on classes this time around. And, I don’t know, I guess I just got so caught up in that and haven’t really been making the time or effort for hangouts.”

He tilts his head. “You know, I feel like there’s a world where you can do well in school while also maintaining your friendships. I mean we see each other regularly.”

“That’s because half of the time we’re studying.”

He gives you a look. “You know what I mean.”

You sigh, considering his point. Maybe at one point you would have thought the same. Last semester you even tried to have it all–the friends, the social life, the grades. But in the end, you dropped the ball. You can’t afford to make those same mistakes. “I just don’t think that world exists for me.”

He finally looks away from the tv and gives his full attention to you. His eyes seem to linger on every turn in your face. Quietly, he says, “So that’s what it is.” He doesn’t offer an explanation immediately. Instead, his chest deflates in one long exhale, and you smother the voice in your head that’s begging you to ask for one. And there’s this conviction in his voice, this breathtaking finality, when he says, “When are you going to believe me when I say that you’re one of the smartest people I know?” that scares the living shit out of you.

He looks at you again, and you swear to god, his eyes fall right through your frame. You swallow. “What about you?”

His eyebrows raise. “What about me?”

“Who are your friends? How do you spend all your time apart from classes, soccer, the frat, tutoring me and–oh my god, nevermind, new question. Do you even sleep?”

He takes a sip from the tea. “Don’t forget the business honor society. I’ll be the treasurer next fall.”

You squint at him. “Why?”

And like it’s the simplest, most obvious thing in the world he says, “oh, well, they asked.”

Suddenly, you’re reminded of all the times you’ve seen him get asked out on dates followed by every time he’s failed to say no. “Jeonghan,” you turn to him, setting down your mug. (“oh, this is serious, okay.”) You ignore him. “Can you not say no to people?”

He blows a raspberry. “I can say no. Ask me something.”

“Uhhhh,” you rack your brain, “how about–let’s go to the beach next weekend.”

The closest beach is 5 hours away, and yet he has the audacity to say, “Wait, that sounds like fun though.”

“I thought you hated the ocean.”

“Yeah, but maybe it’d be fun with you.”

You shake your head, muttering how impossible he is. The end credits of the movie finally plays.

“I should head out.” Jeonghan says, removing himself from under the blanket. You nod, grabbing the mugs of tea and bringing them to the kitchen. He follows you to the door. You both exchange the usual ‘this was fun’, ‘let’s do it again’, ‘I’ll see you later’ that ends every hangout you’ve had in college. But then, unlike every other person you’ve held the door open for as they leave, after Jeonghan says his final goodbye, he gives you a peck on the lips.

Did that just happen?

Your fingers touch against your lips. Oh my god, it did.

He blinks. “Sorry. I, uh, I don’t know why I just,” he points to your lips, swallowing, “lol. We’re always pretending and then now. And you. Okay, well, anyways, I’ll leave.”

He turns and doesn’t look back. You hear a ‘bye’ sound from the hallway.

And it’s only by the time he’s probably halfway home that it hits: You’ve never seen Jeonghan flustered like that.

—

The first day of midterm prep is brutal. You spend the entire night in the library, studying for hours on end. And once an hour, on the dot it seems, you hear Jeonghan’s voice in your head. There’s a world where you can do well in school while also maintaining your friendships. That very night you text your friends, asking if they want to join you in one of the library study rooms you have booked every evening this week. They do, excited to hear from you again and for the gentle encouragement to get a head start on studying. You hate to admit that Jeonghan was right, but goddammit he was. You have a blast with your friends. You had barely even realized how long you’d gone without seeing them and how much you missed them. By the time your Thursday afternoon tutoring with Jeonghan comes back around, you’re still on track with the study plan you created over ramen, and you have exciting news for him.

“A birthday party?” Jeonghan says, voice carefully devoid of the disdain you must know he feels.

“Yeah, they heard through whoever that we’re dating, and now they all want you to come.”

“But a birthday party?” He repeats. This time not trying to hide anything.

“Oh come on. I went to the game for you.”

“Yeah, but the game was fun.”

“This will be fun too!” You say in what you hope is an encouraging way.

“Fine. But promise you won’t ditch me for your friends.”

“You’re so dramatic.” You mutter. “But yes, I promise.”

That Friday night Jeonghan meets you at your apartment and the two of you head over to the party together.

Halfway down the hallway to your friend’s apartment, Jeonghan suddenly halts. “Shit, should I have brought something?”

“Like what?”

“A gift? Wine? I don’t know.”

“Jeonghan, it’s a party. Don’t overthink it.” You tell him, opening the door to your friend’s apartment.

You step into her entryway and immediately feel like you’ve been transported into another world. The lights are all off save for some LED lights wrapped around the living room ceiling. An assortment of stacked red solo cups, yak-worthy bottles of vodka, and seltzers take over all available kitchen counter space. Some old pop song from an artist you know your friend loves plays loudly from the tv, reverberating through every pair of ears shoved into this tiny apartment. You inhale. The air reeks distinctly of college. You love it.

“Oh my god, there’s even people on the balcony.” Jeonghan whispers in your ears. You pivot your head around to look at him. He looks back at you, unassuming. “What?”

This entire scene is one you’re quite familiar with, having spent many nights just like this in previous semesters. But as you watch Jeonghan gape at the amount of people fitted into the kitchen alone, you figure he might not be as acquainted with this. “Yoon Jeonghan, is this your first apartment party?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Is it not yours?”

But before you can tell him all about the life you used to live before him, your friends find you attacking you with hugs and introducing themselves to Jeonghan.

Jenny, the birthday girl in question, sloppily points at both of you and says, “I’ve been drinking since noon. You need to catch up.”

After a minute of half-hearted protest, you oblige, heading over to the kitchen area. You grab two cups, handing Jeonghan one. “There’s soda over there if you’re not drinking tonight,” you tell him, pointing to the area beside the sink where a line of mixers await.

He looks over at the bottles, then looks back at you. “Are you drinking?”

“Yes!” Your friend Daniel yells from over the music. You just shrug, reaching for one of the handles. “I guess so.”

Jeonghan inhales sharply, holding out his cup for you to pour. “I’ll have what you’re having then.”

You hesitate, open bottle hovering over the lip of his cup. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Why?”

You frown. “I was thinking about what you said after the game about how you don’t drink that much, and I don’t want you to drink just because I am. I can not drink too.”

He pushes his cup up. “What was it you said earlier? It’s a party. Don’t overthink it.”

Then he gives you that crooked half smile that you’ve come to know so well. You pour him a drink and pour yourself one too. You turn back to your friends, holding up your cup for a cheers.

“Wait, wait, what are we cheersing to?” Daniel asks, grabbing his cup from behind him and holding it up, tapping on Jenny’s shoulder for her to do the same.

It’s Jeonghan who answers. Looking straight at you, he holds his cup up high and says, “To friends.”

You bring the drink up to your lips smiling, watching him watching you. All four of you down your drinks. The drink is absolutely terrible, burning a path down your throat all the way down. Jeonghan hands you another cup, whispering ‘it’s coke’ with an equally pained expression on his face. You take it gratefully.

“God,” Jenny says, placing a hand on her chest while watching the exchange between you and Jeonghan, “they’re like an old married couple already. How have we missed all this?”

“I know.” Daniel says, shaking his head. “I can still barely believe it.”

You glare at him. “Hey, what’s so hard to believe?”

They both ignore you, turning their attention to Jeonghan instead.

“So, we’ve heard all the boring��how you guys met, first date–sort of stuff, but we want to know the juicy details–”

“Jenny, don’t you have other guests to attend to or–”

“Yeah,” Daniel joins in, “like what’s your favorite thing about them?”

You turn to Jeonghan immediately. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“My favorite part,” Jeonghan starts, ignoring your plea to not humor them and tapping a finger on his chin in thought. He must find it after a moment, pausing the tapping and stealing a glance your way. “Probably how much fun I have with them.” He says to your friends. “I feel like we’re always laughing together or just having a good time. I’ve never been able to talk to someone as easily as I do with them. Like you know how when you get towards the end of a really good book, and you just can’t put it down, pushing everything else to the side to keep reading. Hanging out with them is like that.” Turning back to look at you, he adds, “I never want it to end.”

You hold his gaze while Jenny and Daniel erupt into a series of awes and exclamations. Deep in your gut, you know that you should be focusing on the kind smile on his face or the sudden rapidity in your heartbeat, but instead, more cruelly, you wonder how much of that was a lie he made up to appease the role of your fake boyfriend.

You turn to pour yourself another drink. He holds his cup out as well. You pour for two.

“You okay?” He asks, pouring some fruit punch into both your cups as well.

You nod. You have no reason to be upset. So taking a sip of the drink, you decide you’re not. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“We should play a game,” he says, taking a sniff of your jointly made concoction.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, like…” He looks around the apartment. “We have to drink every time we see someone kissing.”

“What kind of rule is that?”

“No. It’ll be fun.” He says, scanning the apartment again. He sucks in air between his teeth. “Damn, I thought there’d be more kissing than this for some reason.”

You laugh at his cluelessness, and then lean in to kiss his cheek. “There.” You say, clinking your cup against his. “Now, we can drink.”

He taps a finger to the tip of his nose twice, then points it at you, before taking two large gulps of his drink.

The game actually does a good job of getting you and Jeonghan drunk once Jenny catches wind if it and starts giving out birthday kisses to whoever will take one. After a while, you make the executive decision that you need a break and escape to the bathroom to piss. When you exit back into the hallway off the living room, Jeonghan is there, leaning against the opposite wall, waiting for you. He hands you your cup back. “Your friends are terrible, terrible enablers,” he says, motioning for you to drink up while taking a drink himself. You whimper, leaning against the wall beside him and readmitting the dreaded liquid to your body.

“So,” you bump your shoulder against his, “are you having fun?”

He shifts his entire body to face you, shoulder resting against the wall, back turned to the entire party. He puts his face right in front of yours, narrows his eyes at you playfully, and says, “did you even listen to what I said?”

You put a hand on his shoulder. Just to have something between his body and yours. “What?”

He grins cheekily, letting out a puff of air that smells like cherry. “I always have fun with you.”

You laugh. Then in a voice sober you would be embarrassed of, you say, “And you never want it to end?”

He sticks his tongue out just barely, laughing into your neck. “And I never want it to end.”

You kiss him.

You don’t stop to think about what it might mean tomorrow or even in the next hour. You don’t stop to think about the fact that you’re too drunk to be initiating kisses or the possibility that he is. You don’t stop to think about anything, other than how much you love the sound of his laugh and how badly you want to feel his lips on yours again.

The kiss starts slowly, a shy orchestration of lips and breath. Your nose bumps against his, and he pulls away. He looks at you with those damn eyes, like it’s the first time all over again. And for some reason you can’t explain you bitterly think that it was always going to end like this.

He cups his free hand against your cheek and pulls you back in. Your lips meet in an open-mouthed kiss that has nothing slow and shy about it. No. It’s sloppy, hurried, and hungry. It’s tongue and teeth, crashing and colliding over and over again. It’s your body against his, every rise of your chest battling against his You wrap your free hand against his torso, pulling him impossibly closer. His hand moves from where it was holding your face to travel over the back of your head and your neck, sliding halfway down your back before pulling forward to run from your waist down to your hip. It lingers there for a moment before continuing further to grip the back of your thigh, pulling your knee up the side of his leg and holding it there against his hip.

A commotion sounds from the living room. “Oh shit.” You say breathlessly, pulling away from him. “I think she’s going to pop the champagne.”

“Okay.” He breathes, before kissing you again. You laugh in his mouth, whispering his name and pushing a hand against his chest. Finally, he lets go of your leg. You lead him back to the rest of the party where everyone is crowding around the balcony entrance. You and Jeonghan stand in the living room, watching from the window as Jenny struggles to pop the cork. She gets it after a moment, yelping at the sudden burst and spraying it over the edge of the balcony. Once the champagne dies down enough to not be overflowing, she brings the bottle to her lips and chugs. Everyone counts.

1! Jeonghan steps closer to you, wrapping his arms around your torso and hugging you from the back. You have to remind yourself to catch your breath.

2! He rests his chin on your shoulder. Without even thinking about it, you rest your head against his. His voice is a warm breath on your neck.

3! You recall what he said to your friends at the start of the party and again to you right before the kiss. Did he mean it? Does he really not want this to end?

4! Your eyes glance over at his. He looks happy. He looks like he’s finally given himself the chance to be young and stupid, which from the start, is all you ever wanted for him. So then why does it make you feel so suddenly grief-stricken?

5! “Why didn’t you tell Joshua about us?” You ask him quietly, voice drowned out by the counting for everyone other than him.

6! He angles his chin towards you. “What do you mean? He knows we’re dating.”

7! “No, I mean why didn’t you tell him that it’s fake.”

8! He stands up straight. Fuck the counting. You turn to look at him. “He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”

9! He looks at you carefully. “Did you tell Soonyoung that it’s all been fake?”

10! You haven’t even answered him yet, but somehow, he already knows what you’re going to say.

11! “Yes.” And even alcohol couldn’t have hidden the distinct look of betrayal painted all over his face.

12! He looks down into his cup and chuckles darkly. “Why did we just kiss?”

13! You swallow. Shit. “Someone was looking at you, like–well, you know what like.”

14! He doesn’t say anything. You recount his words back to him. “Sealing the deal, remember.”

15! His eyes bore into yours. How could you have been so stupid?

16! Please, you want to beg, say something.

17! He shakes his head, smiling emptily. “Tell your friends it was nice to meet them.”

18! He doesn’t wait to hear if you have anything left to say. He turns, and you watch him disappear from the party.

The rest of the numbers blur in your head.

—

(That night you had called Soonyoung, sobbing over the phone, feeling more drunk then, in your apartment than you had at any other point that night.

“What’s wrong?” Alarm was flush in his voice. “What happened? Are you okay?”

The only thing Soonyoung could even make out was a very sad, very quiet, “I ruined it.”)

—

You haven’t talked to Jeonghan since Jenny’s party. He hasn’t texted you either. Staring at your upcoming midterm on Thursday and the extra study session with Jeonghan scheduled for Wednesday, you feel, quite lamely, mocked by your own calendar. But more than anything, you’re mad that he’s left you to study all alone the week of your midterm. You’re mad that you’re so busy replaying that night in your head, you can barely pay attention to the practice tests. You’re mad that, right now, sitting at the spot you guys always sat at in the library, you don’t have him. And you’re terrified of the creeping thought that you never really did.

By the time the midterm does come around, you’re exhausted. Not from studying or lack of sleep, but just from the sheer willpower it’s taken all week to not think about Jeonghan. You feel oddly calm going into the exam, the usual anxious chatter of students around you and rattling of chairs and pencils, not freaking you out as much as it normally would. You take the midterm, one question at a time, just as Jeonghan instructed you to do with every homework and every quiz. And then, 40 minutes in, you finish. Astonishingly, you even have enough time left to check over your work. So you do, fixing minor rounding and calculation errors, until you’re faced again with a completed exam and 15 minutes left.

You get to do something you haven’t done since high school: you turn it in early.

—

You spend the rest of that day in between your bed and your couch, struggling even more now than before to ignore thoughts of Jeonghan and your last conversation with him. For the past several weeks, Thursday afternoons were monopolized by Jeonghan, but today, watching the sun set outside your window, you’ve spent it all alone. The finality of what happened last weekend finally hits you: you might never speak to Jeonghan again. You really did ruin it. Suddenly, the urge to weep overcomes you. You turn on the tv instead, looking for a movie to watch. And of course it must be fate's petty joke on you that the first movie that pops up is the one you watched with Jeonghan after your date. You groan into your pillow before switching to something else.

By the time the movie is almost over and the sun has fully set, your phone rings. You had been checking it obsessively earlier and had therefore set it a bit farther away from where you were sitting. But at the sound of the ring, you’re ashamed to admit that you literally leapt for it. Your mind reads the caller id and is instantly flooded with an odd mix of relief and anxiety. Jeonghan is calling. Holy shit, Jeonghan is calling.

Your voice is shaky when you answer. “Hello?”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan’s partner right?” Your mouth parts at the voice that most definitely does not belong to Jeonghan. Who is this man? Why does he have Jeonghan’s phone? Why does it hurt your heart so much when he calls you Jeonghan’s partner? You must sit in your shock for too long because the mystery caller speaks again, sounding somewhat annoyed. “This is Seungcheol from the team. This is who I think it is, right? Because your number was saved as ‘my cutie’ with like a million heart emojis, so if not, this is about to get really awkward.” You have no idea how to respond to that. Finally, Seungcheol says your name. “This is you, right?”

You inhale sharply. “Yeah, uhm, sorry yes. Is everything alright? Aren’t you guys at practice right now?”

“Yeah, well we’re about to end, but here’s the thing…” Seungcheol then explains how terribly Jeonghan’s been playing this week, overly aggressive, missing every pass, fucking up every cross. And today, halfway through practice he hurt his shoulder and the coach sat him out entirely, forcing him to sit on the sidelines and just watch. Safe to say, this did not go over well with him, and he’s been laying down on the bench head buried in his arms, snapping at everyone who approaches him ever since. Seungcheol had to use a fake emergency bathroom break as a chance to run away to the locker room and make this call. “Do you know what’s going on with him?”

Of course you know, and it’s all your fault. You really did ruin everything with one kiss. “I–”

“Fuck, I’m running out of time. Never mind that.” Seungcheol says, cutting you off. “Can you just come down and be here, when we get off practice? Jeonghan drove over so you both can take his car back, but I think he just really needs someone here with him today.”

You wince. “Seungcheol, actually, I–”

“No, no, please. You don’t understand. I think I saw him crying on the bench. He needs you. Come.” Then after a slight hesitation he adds, “If you can. Please.”

You don’t even know what to say, but it doesn’t matter because just then the call ends. You stare at your phone, considering the options. Stay here and wallow. Or go, and try to salvage everything you’ve broken. And while you are a very accomplished wallower, you know which one you have to do. You drag your feet all the way over to your room to change.

You pace outside the field waiting for them, running through every possible scenario in your head. It does nothing, only worsening the condition of your already ailing heart. You drop down onto the curb, holding your head in your hands. Maybe he won’t even see you like this. You can’t tell if you prefer or hate that possibility.

Something bumps into your back. You look up and find Jeonghan staring down at you. You stand up so quickly your head starts to spin. Looking at him, you realize that this is the longest you’ve gone without seeing or talking to each other since meeting. You hated every second of it. But you think you might hate the look on his face right now more.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, words devoid of all the little quirks that make him him.

“Seungcheol called me.”

His face twitches. “Why?”

“He said that you–” you halt, selfishly wondering if it’s too late to abandon this ship. “How’s your shoulder?”

He looks at it, rolling it out once. He shrugs. “It’s fine now.”

You nod.

He then surprises you by asking: “How was your midterm?” Your eyes widen, searching his face for… you’re not even sure what. You don’t find it anyways.

You shift your weight uncomfortably. “It went well actually.”

He nods.

“Do you want a ride back?

He scoffs quietly. You flinch. “Can you even drive?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“How would you get back to yours?”

“I don’t know. Walk. Or maybe a bus. Or I could even–”

He doesn’t even let you finish. Voice raising when he asks again, “Why are you here?”

The words come out before you can stop them, tone matching his. “Because I’m sorry!”

“For what?”

“For kissing you!” He drops his duffle bag on the floor. “I don’t know!”

He parts his lips, inhaling as if to speak, but then he looks straight in your eyes and loses every word he might’ve wanted to say. He picks up his duffle and walks over to his car. “Jeonghan, please say something. I miss you, and I hate this. I just want to at least talk about what happened before we never speak again.”

He shoves his bag into the backseat and slams the door shut. He points to the car. “You coming?”

“Where?”

“I’ll drop you home.”

You don’t even know why you let him, but you do, sliding in the passenger seat and waiting until the car is started and moving to say something.

Or at least, that was the plan. But then you lose all the nerves you built up on your walk over and keep quiet the entire drive back to your place. It’s only when he stops in front of yours, ignition shutting off, that they build back enough for you to say, “Jeonghan, I–”

“I’m not mad because of the kiss.” He finally says, voice much softer than before. His eyes stay trained on the dashboard. “The kiss was…” He chokes on the word while the tiniest of smiles breaks like light after a storm on his face. “The kiss was perfect.” Your stomach momentarily turns into a gymnast. “I’m not even mad at all. I’m just,” You lean in after the words, as if waiting to catch them in your hands. He shakes his head once and then turns to look at you fully. “I’m upset because you think this has all been fake when, if I’m being brutally honest, I haven’t been faking anything since that first party.”

Oh.

Oh.

Holy fucking shit.

He chuckles darkly, hitting his head lightly against the steering wheel. “Now, I know what it feels like to be on the opposite end of this.”

You can’t help yourself. “How is it?”

He groans. “It’s like a thousand stomach aches throughout your entire body.”

You want to take him out of his misery, but, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.”

“I don’t think–”

“No, I’m serious.” He mutters. He looks pained. “Remember when you said that I can’t say no to people? This is it. I’m saying no.” He smiles at you, but you know his eyes too well and you know when there’s nothing in them. His breath catches. “I’m really happy about your midterm. I always knew you didn’t need me.”

He looks away after that, turning the car back on, an obvious signal for you to get out. Selfishly, you don’t. You take two more seconds to stare at his face, his eyes, his hair, his hands. Then you unbuckle your seatbelt and step out of the car.

He doesn’t wait long before he drives away.

You walk back up to your dorm in a stupor of sorts. You unlock the door, step through the kitchen, walk like a zombie to your room, and stare at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes travel over your whole frame, and for some reason they fall to rest at your neck. More specifically, your necklace.

You’re out of the door, running before you even know it. Breathlessly, turning onto the road that leads to the opposite side of campus. 30 minutes away. This of course turns out to be a terrible, terrible idea. You do not run. But you get there eventually. Speed walking up to the door of Jeonghan’s frat house and knocking vigorously.

Soonyoung happens to be the one that opens it. “Oh, hey! How was your–Why can’t you breathe?”

You ignore him. “Is Jeonghan here?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think he’s back from practice yet. Why? What happened? Did you guys make up yet?”

“No, but, Soonyoung, I’ve been so stupid. This whole time I kept gabbing on and on, but I was blind. It was him. It was always–”

You hear a familiar voice say your name. Not just familiar. Your favorite voice. You turn to face him.

And you can’t help it, you grin.

You’re distantly aware of Soonyoung closing the door behind you.

“How did you get here?”

“I ran.” He makes a face. “Well, partly.”

“I told you to–”

“I know what you said.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “I didn’t–well, not like this, but listen. It’s okay if you don’t care–”

“But the thing is Jeonghan,” you say, the sentences and words you had prepared on the way over blurring together all in a rush to get out of your head and into his, “I do. There was no one looking at you at Jenny’s party. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I wanted it. I hate sports. Really, ask Soonyoung, but I went and watched your game and had fun because you asked me to and because I don’t have the capacity to actually say no to your face. I thought I hated that smirk you do, but really I just hate how flustered it makes me feel. And I’m sorry that I took the whole young and stupid thing too close to heart, but,” you pull the matching necklace out from under your shirt. “If I didn’t care, would I still be wearing this? Would I be able to stand here and tell you and I haven’t taken it off since we bought it? And that that date was the best date I’ve ever been on.” You let go of the necklace, inhaling sharply. “I care, Jeonghan.” Then, as if it needs to be clarified, you add, “about you.”

You stare at him, waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

He turns around, takes two steps away from you, and then immediately plops his ass on the ground. You hear a whimper. “I thought I was going to lose you.” You approach him slowly, like a cat you’re trying like hell not to scare. You kneel down on the pavement beside him. He wipes his tears. “Don’t laugh.” He cries, already sensing the one bubbling in your throat. You shake your head as a swear not to. Which you break a second after the fact, turning your head to the side, desperately trying to hide it behind your hand. “Bully!” He exclaims.

“No. No.” You say, composing yourself and turning back to him. His tears are wiped, but a pout remains on his face. You cup your hands against his cheeks. “It’s just really cute.”

“It’s embarrassing.” He huffs.

You shake your head. “I love it.” Then you kiss him. It’s a slow and sweet kiss. You relish in it. There’s no rush anymore. No deadline. He isn’t going anywhere. Neither are you. You have all the time in the world with him.

[tatoda]

Mine || conrad fisher x fem!reader

!!MINORS DNI!!

masterlist

request

summary: attending the same college as your best friend has its highs and lows, but conrad sees you flirting with another dude he finally does something about his feelings

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

warning: slight angst, male receive, jealous conrad CHARACTERS ARE 18

wc: 1.1k

im a little rusty on my smut writing I apologize I'm trying to get back into it still. edited but I may have missed stuff

You and conrad grew up together as the oldest siblings, you to your brother and sister, steven and belly, and conrad to his brother jeremiah. Your birthdays was just a day apart from conrad’s. To say that your mothers were so excited to have babies around the same time was an understatement. They were best friends and it was their dream to have kids at the same time. Also as mothers, they knew you were both meant for each other. To be the first two little kids to run around the beach house, to attending your dream college together.

At the end of the summer before college started in the fall is when conrad broke your heart. It was the 4th of july and Jeremiah dragged everyone out of the house to go to nicole’s party. You hung out with Belly most of the night not trusting the drunk guys around her. With your mind occupied with her most of the night, you never got to talk to conrad. You wanted to watch the fireworks with him and not come to this lame party, you wanted to kiss him and tell him how you felt about him after all these years. Belly took off with nicole letting you have your fun. Who knew that fun could be ruined in 2.5 seconds? You walked into the living room looking for the brown-haired boy only spotting him with a girl on his lap and her eating his face out with him doing the same thing.

You ended up leaving the party and cousins that night. Telling your mom that you needed to finish a ton of college stuff before moving in at the end of the month. She didn’t push to ask you what happened and let you leave knowing you would call if it was anything serious. When everyone arrived back home that night conrad looked for you. He wanted to talk to you about your midnight plans to go watch the fireworks, but everywhere he looked you were gone. He looked in your bedroom seeing the nicely made bed and your bags gone. He sat on the edge of the mattress looking around softly.

“she left.” laurel walked into the room slowly

“where did she go? everything was fine before the party.” he stood up walking around your room and to the picture of you and him as babies. laurel walked behind him placing her hands on each side of his arms

“two peas in a pod, you two are inseparable.” laurel paused “she went home to finish college stuff.”

“and she didn’t ask me to go with her?” he brought a hand to rub over his face and sighed in defeat.

You didn’t talk to conrad the rest of the summer. He texted you, but you decided you better not get your heart broken again.

It was a few weeks into the school year. Your roommate dragged you out to another party that you didn’t want to attend, only because conrad would be there and almost every time he didn’t see you but you saw him. And you saw the girls he would leave with. And it just broke your heart more. So here you were trying to distract yourself with Josh— a boy from your math class— as he talked to you about his frat. You acted as if you cared only trying to hook up with him in the end.

“yeah my dad wanted me to follow him in his footsteps so he decided to pay for my school year.” he bragged taking a sip of his drink

“wow.” you acted interested

“if you want, one day i can take you for a ride on my boat back home?” he leaned towards you as if it was a secret

“i’d love that, yeah.” you put a hand on his arm rubbing it a little before a shadow crept over the both of you, it was conrad.

“sorry to bother, i need to talk to her,” he grumbled in josh’s face

“can it wait? i’m talking to her?” he tried to protest and you didn’t look at conrad, it would only make you fall and say you’re sorry for everything

“no it can’t.” he grabbed your hand off the dudes arm and walked you to an empty room before shutting the door “what the hell are you thinking!” he moved around you and away from the door

“i don’t know.” you shrugged slowly lifting your gaze to him, he was wearing a white shirt, plaid pullover, and jeans, you had never seen the boys other than in the summer and it was nice to see conrad dressed in jeans

“he was practically fucking you with his eyes!” he stood in front of you now

“grow up conrad, we’re in college now.” you scoffed. putting your drink down on a nearby dresser

“yeah, and it’s my job you don’t get an std from a frat boy like him.”

“oh and you’re any different?” it slipped out of your mouth

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he was taken back by your comment

“i’ve seen the girls you take back to your dorm. how do you know they aren’t carrying anything harmful when you stick your dick inside of them!”

“y/n what the fuck are you talking about?” his eyebrows furrowed

“the girls.”

“what girls! not one has stepped into my dorm other than our damn family when we moved in!”

“b-but you take girls home.” you tried to make yourself believe it

“i walk them back to their dorm. they are a drunk mess and my mom raised me that way, you should know.” his voice softly said

“i-“

“i’ve only had my eyes set on you since we were kids.” he blurted

“w-what?”

“yeah but i wanted to give you space to figure out your college life, but not get dicked down by a frat boy at one party.” he smiled to himself

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry i didn’t see it earlier.”

“i tried for years, for you to see how i feel.”

“i felt the same way, i was going to tell you at cousin’s, but then i saw you with this girl at nicole’s party and she was all over you so i just left.”

“the party? is that why you left cousins early?” you nodded looking back down at the floor

“i was heartbroken con. you were making out with her what was i supposed to feel?”

“i don’t know you should have talked to me.”

“i talked to jere and he said that it wasn’t worth it, so i just left to get a head start to move in.”

“that’s why you were so distant when college started? we were so excited to be going to the same place, my mom was excited!”

“i felt heartbroken and i didn’t know what to do you’re the only boy i’ve ever loved, i didn’t know how to work around it!”

“i kissed the girl at nicole’s party because jeremiah told me you went on a date,” he whispered

“i-i hung out with a dude at the arcade for 10 minutes trying to help in figuring out a game. jeremiah was there!” you tan your fingers through your hair

“well, how was i supposed to know!”

“it seems like jere is just against us.” conrad laughed softly

“he’s always had something for you, you know.” you nodded knowing how the other fisher boy liked you, but you only had eyes for conrad

“he doesn’t matter. i’ve only seen him as a friend.” conrad let out a soft breath

“come here.” he gestured at you and you walked towards him as he opened his arms for you. the comfort of his arms secured you leaned against his chest hearing the raging of his heartbeat

“your heart is going crazy.” you twisted your head to look up at him with your chin on his chest and conrad looking down at you

“because of you.” he brought a hand to the side of your face and leaned in to kiss you, for the first time. conrad fisher was kissing you, it felt like a dream

He held your face so softy. He didn’t wanna break you, not again. His arms tightened around you pulling him closer to you. The kiss became deeper and stronger than you have ever had before with anyone. That’s when you felt the effect you had on him, he was hard, from you. You didn’t know you could do that to anyone ever but it felt amazing and an accomplishment.

“sorry.” he smiled against your lips as you both slowly separated lips turning red

“don’t be.” bringing one of your hands to his hair moving a few pieces away from his eyes the other hand you had slowly descended towards his pants

“y/n” a warning tone came out of his mouth

“hm?” you looked at him innocence in your eyes as if your hand wasn’t messing with the button of his jeans before moving to the zipper

“no one’s ever-“ his breath hitched as your hand cupped his erection “no one ever touched me down there.” you looked at him confused

“you’ve had sex though?” he nodded

“that doesn’t mean foreplay was involved, they just skip to the sex.” you kissed his lips

“don’t worry, just sit down and relax.” you pushed him to sit on the bed

Dragging down his jeans he lifted your hips to help get the fabrics down to his calf’s. He looked scared and nervous. You were touching him, the girl he’s been in love with forever, finally seeing the effect she has on him. You slowly swiped to get some pre cum off of the head and conrad shuttered under your touch.

“like that?”

“fuck, you have no idea.”

You coated the sides of his dick before slowly moving up and down at the right movement. He looked down at you breathing hard and deadly to your touch. A loud clatter came from outside the room and his eyes turned to worry.

“y/n, i don’t think this is such a good place to do thi-“ you cut him off licking the side of his shaft shutting him up immediately and the sounds from outside passed “fuck” he brought a hand to your head holding it as you bobbed up and down on him “keep going.” you didn’t plan on stopping, you hollowed your cheeks taking him in deeper and his groans filled the room

The way you moved made him jealous of the guys who have seen this image before. You on your knees sucking him off like no tomorrow. But the thought disappeared as soon as it came because he realized that this will be his view for the rest of his life. You looked up at him making eye contact and he felt the warm build but he didn’t wanna release just yet.

“just a few more, yeah.” he started to take control by moving your head with his hips as they came up off of the bed making you gag “just-“ he moved faster feeling the edge start. he pumped all the way into your mouth and let his release into your mouth as he groaned into the air

“fuck.” you pulled off of him and swallows the salty taste “did you just-“ he couldn’t believe you were real

“is that bad?”

“no, no, god no.” he moved your hair from your face. “all i know is no man is ever touching you again, you’re mine.”

[syuga-s]

i made my fiancés tinder profile

w.c. 8.5k pairing. non-idol!jeon jungkook x fem!reader genre. cute and angsty friends to lovers <333 a/n. idk guys i wrote this like a month ago but I JUST GOT THE ENERGY TO POST IT so i apologize in advance if you find mistakes here and there, ALSO i made the playlist that inspired me to make this fic so i'll just leave it here if you want to give it a listen or save it don't look at my other playlists tho they're a mess 🦦

You always thought you were pretty good at giving dating advice. It’s easier when you’re not the one doing the dating, right? That’s how it all started with Jungkook. You two were chilling at your apartment one lazy Sunday afternoon when you suddenly blurted out, “Why are you still single, Jungkook? You’re amazing, good-looking, and fun. You should at least be on like three different dating apps.”

He laughed, running a hand through his hair in that effortlessly cool way he always did. “Dunno' just haven’t found the right person,” he said with a smile that made you heart do a weird little flip. “I don’t think I’m good at dating, haha.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you shot back, sitting up. “Let's make you an account. We’ll get you some matches in no time.”

He hesitated for a second, then shrugged. “Sure, let's do it.”

And that’s how you ended up setting up his profile, not realizing that this would be the beginning of the end of your denial and the start of a love story you never saw coming.

You grabbed his phone and he settled onto the couch next to you. “Okay, first things first. We need some killer photos. Let’s start with your main picture.”

You opened the camera app. You sat there, looking at his phone for a minute before he let out a loud laugh.

You looked up. “What is it?"

He grinned, pointing at something behind you. "It's just Tae taking a picture of us setting up a dating profile," Jungkook said, chuckling.

You turned around to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, holding his phone up with a huge grin on his face. "Don't mind me," Taehyung sang out, winking at the two of you. "Just capturing this for posterity."

Tae showed Jungkook the picture and a fit of laughter erupted again, now from the two of them. "Your face! You look so focused and super serious right now."

Rolling your eyes, you lightly smacked his arm. "This is serious business! We need to find the perfect picture to reel in all the potential matches."

Then you started browsing through his photo gallery to curate the most attractive selection of pictures.

There you had him on the gym doing weights, him on his boxing gear, with his dogs, him doing the dishes with a strangely tight black shirt, a few selfies on his car, with his motorcycle. You could sell a whole album with his photos, how on earth would you do him justice and only choose 10 of them?

"Why is this so hard?"

Jungkook chuckled. "Because you're not choosing photos for a profile, you're trying to find a reason to stare at me and my body for too long."

"Boy, I'm trying to help you here, and if I'm gonna do it, I might as well do this like a professional matchmaker." You retorted.

His eyebrows furrowed. "When have you ever paired someone up?"

You smiled smugly. "That's none of your business, Jeon."

"It is, actually, since you're helping me with this thing."

"Fine, if you must know, I hooked up one my friend's older sister with my college roommate."

"Really? How did that go?" He asked, curious.

"Pretty well, they've been together for a couple years now." You answered, still going through his photos.

"Wasn't your college roommate that guy with the blue hair?" He asked, his tone changing slightly.

"Uh-huh, why?"

"Wasn't he the guy you were dating during our third year?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

"How can you forget about him?" He sounded annoyed. "You spent an entire week crying in my bed because he broke up with you."

"Oh my god, did I? I don't recall." You were playing dumb, of course you remembered but there was no need to talk about that. "What do you think of this one?" It was a shirtless picture, point blank.

"I think you look kinda slutty but everyone's gonna eat it up, you'll get a date in no time." You continued.

"I am not posting a shirtless picture, are you crazy?" He snatched the phone from your hand.

"Well, it's not like we're gonna sell the damn picture, it's just your torso and the picture is really nice, you look good, I don't know why you're making such a fuss."

He didn't say anything, just looked at you.

"What? I'm complimenting you, it's the truth." You rolled your eyes.

"Okay, thank you." He was blushing.

"Are you blushing?" You asked, amused.

"No, it's just really hot in here." He took off his hoodie, throwing it somewhere in your living room.

You didn't even realize how close he was sitting next to you. It wasn't like it was the first time he'd been on your couch, but something felt different today. It was strange.

All the photos that you chose showcased different aspects of Jungkook's personality. Each photo told a story about him - his love for his dogs, his passion for staying active, his playful side with silly selfies. As you scrolled through his gallery, you couldn't help but notice the genuine smile on his face in many of the pictures, a smile that seemed to light up the whole world.

After him putting up a fight on choosing his favorite photos of him, next you had to write him something for his bio.

Jungkook leaned in closer to read over your shoulder.

"This is stupid, what do you want me to write? My name, my age, my occupation?" He was whining.

"Yes, those things obviously, but also things like, I don't know a joke or something to sum up your personality. I want them to know you're fun and cute, mind-blowingly good at everything, something along those lines."

"I am mind-blowingly good at everything." He said, his tone confident.

You rolled your eyes.

"So let's say, what if I write 'shit i'd date the hell out of me', you like it?" You asked him with a smile.

He laughed. "I do, I really do."

"Okay, it's settled." You wrote down the phrase, and a bunch of things about him.

"Now we just have to add something that will hook them up."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, just be honest. Just, don't write that you're looking for a girl to have sex with."

"But I am looking for a girl to have sex with." Blank expression on his face.

"You are so dumb sometimes." You threw a pillow at his face.

He caught it mid-air. "God, you know I'm not look— this was YOUR IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE!" He yelled, trying to defend himself.

"Yeah, but, just write something that will make you look not like a manwhore."

He thought for a moment. "I know, I got it."

"Okay, shoot."

"I'm a manwhore." He had the brightest smile.

"Oh, for the love of..." You couldn't help but laugh at his antics. "Alright, fine. If that's what you want to go with, who am I to stop you?"

You two were done, and he was already getting notifications.

"Woah, that was... surprisingly fast." He was surprised, and you were proud of yourself.

"Of course, you're hot and cute. We don't see your type in dating apps very often."

He gave you a weird look, you couldn't quite figure out. "Thanks?"

"No worries, I'm sure you'll find someone in no time." You patted him on the back as you were getting up and ready to go to the kitchen and make some dinner. "See who you like and I'll help you on how to ask them on a date."

"Okay." He smiled.

"What are you smiling at? Are you looking at them already?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to see which one of these girls will be our first victim."

"Don't call them victims." You laughed.

The truth is that Jungkook only agreed to this because he loves spending time with you.

As you busied yourself in the kitchen, Jungkook couldn't shake the warmth spreading through his chest. He scrolled through the notifications on his phone, half-heartedly swiping left and right. His mind wasn't on finding a date; it was on you.

He couldn't believe he agreed to this. Making a profile on Tinder just to humor the best friend he was in love with, seemed harmless at first, but now, seeing the app light up with potential matches, he felt burdened. He wasn't here to date. He was here because he wanted to be closer to you, even if it meant pretending to search for someone else.

Each time a new message popped up, he found himself wondering if you'd approve. Would you laugh at the cheesy pickup lines together? Would you help him craft witty responses? He realized he didn't care about meeting any of these girls; he only cared about spending time with you.

But as much as he tried to focus on the dating app in front of him, his thoughts kept drifting back to you. To the way you laughed and teased him, to the way you always seemed to know what he needed even when he didn't realize it himself. Jungkook found himself longing for something he couldn't quite name, a feeling that stirred deep within him whenever he was near you.

He sighed, setting his phone down on the coffee table as he leaned back on the couch because he didn't bother looking through any of the profiles. Instead he made his way to the kitchen, where you were standing over a pot, stirring absentmindedly.

He stepped up behind you, watching as you stirred. His chest was warm, and he had a strange urge to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle his nose into your neck.

"Hey," he said, his voice soft.

You turned your head slightly, not looking at him but smiling. "Hey."

Jungkook took a step closer, placing his hand over yours. "Let me help," he said.

You handed him the wooden spoon, your fingers brushing against his in the exchange. He stirred the pot gently, mirroring the way he wanted to handle your heart. Neither of you spoke, the only sound filling the room was the clinking of utensils against the pot.

"You okay there?" Your voice broke through his daydreaming.

He answered you softly while running a hand through his hair nervously. "Yeah, just... thinking."

As the aroma of the dish wafted through the air, you felt his warmth seeping into you, comforting and familiar. You couldn't ignore the heavy tension that hung between you, thick like a fog.

He cleared his throat, breaking the spell. "So... what do we do now?" His voice was low, almost a whisper.

You turned around to face him, his eyes searching yours for answers neither of you dared to voice. "We eat dummy," you said with a laugh.

You and Jungkook sat down for dinner, the tension from earlier still lingering between you. As you ate, you caught each other stealing glances when the other wasn't looking.

"So...have you looked at any of the matches yet?" you asked, trying to break the silence.

Jungkook shifted in his seat. "A few, but no one really caught my eye," he said evasively.

You nodded, poking at your food. "Well if you see anyone you like, let me know. I want to help."

"Thanks, I will," Jungkook said with a small smile.

You returned the smile weakly, a pang in your chest at the thought of Jungkook dating someone else. You had pushed the feelings down for so long, not wanting to jeopardize your friendship. But your dumb decision of making him a dating profile forced you to confront how you really felt.

After you finished eating together, Jungkook helped you with the dishes. You dried off your hands, and he was ready to leave. Almost as if he was on a rush.

"Thanks for making dinner," he said with a smile.

You nodded. "Of course, you know I love having you over."

You stood at the door awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

Jungkook cleared his throat. "I'll text you," he said.

You gave him a thumbs-up, your voice coming out more high-pitched than normal. "Yeah, cool. See ya later."

He chuckled and leaned down to give you a hug. You wrapped your arms around him, breathing in his scent. You held him a little longer than necessary, wanting to memorize the feeling of his arms enveloping you.

Jungkook's hand lingered on your shoulder as he pulled away.

"Goodnight," he said softly, his thumb brushing against your cheek before he turned to leave. You watched him go, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside you. As the door closed behind him, you leaned against it, aching with the realization that you might have just pushed away the one person who meant more to you than just a friend.

If only you had the courage to do something.

The following week, you found yourself cleaning your house, the mess had piled up and you had a bunch of your clothes all over the place and that's when you found Jungkook's hoodie from last week. It had fallen between your couch and the wall, so you pulled it out with a considerable amount of force. That's when his iPod fell to the ground.

He still uses this thing? The corners of your mouth turned up involuntarily as you recalled teasing him about the ancient device.

You were surprised, most people uses their phones, or maybe he still has this thing because it was a present from you. If you hadn't seen it you wouldn't have remembered that you had given him this iPod for Christmas like 7 years ago.

You took the device in your hand and turned it on. You figured it would be nice to hear his playlists while you kept cleaning.

You should have just connected it and played it on shuffle. But I guess humans are very nosey creatures. Creatures who love to go through someone else's things, just to see another hidden side of said person.

So, like any other normal human being, you opened his lists, and started to go through them.

"Golden mix", "Euphoria", "OST's". Those were pretty standard. "Lonely nights" a bit of a stretch, "Best of the 00s", "Dance party" and "Songs to sing along". Fork found in kitchen. And there was one more playlist that caught your attention.

Simply labeled with— "Your name."

Your heart started beating faster. What is this?

You opened the playlist and you were welcomed by a list of what it seemed like... love songs.

The first one was "Best Friend". You didn't know what to think. Why did he have a playlist with songs like "Kiss me" by Matt Maltese, "Mountains" by Charlotte Day Wilson, "Making Time" by Rex Orange County. All love songs.

Then it hit you. He's in love.

You started panicking. Your heart racing with thoughts you couldn't ignore any longer. The playlist named after you echoed in your mind.

You couldn't believe it. Jungkook, your best friend, the one who always seemed so casual and carefree, had a playlist dedicated to you filled with love songs. Your mind raced as you tried to process this new information. Was it possible that he felt the same way you did? That the tension between you wasn't one-sided after all?

You sat down on the couch, still holding his iPod in your hands. The weight of it felt heavier now, as if it held all the unspoken words and emotions that had been swirling between you and Jungkook. You couldn't bring yourself to put it down; instead, you scrolled through the playlist again, each song title tugging at your heartstrings.

A sense of warmth washed over you, mingled with fear and uncertainty. What should you do now? Should you confront Jungkook about the playlist, lay all your cards on the table and risk changing everything between you? Or should you keep quiet, pretend you never stumbled upon this precious list?

You knew there was something going on, you weren't stupid. But you couldn't bring yourself to accept the possibility that the guy you love, might like you back. It's easier to pretend like nothing is happening. You have built this whole imaginary life with him in your head, but not once did you consider that it might be a two-way street.

"I already said I'm in love with you Can't you hear me? Why do you act like you don't? You know well the spark in my eyes when I look at you Can't you see it? Why do you act like you don't?"

You had been listening to the song on repeat for an hour. It was stuck in your head. Your heart was aching.

The reality was finally sinking in.

"He's in love with me," you whispered to yourself, the realization hitting you like a tidal wave. It explained so much—his kindness, his attentiveness, even his willingness to go along with making a stupid profile for a stupid dating app. But you had built walls around your heart, afraid to acknowledge the possibility that your feelings were reciprocated.

You felt a surge of emotions, a mix of joy and fear swirling inside you. Jungkook's unspoken confession through his playlist left you feeling exposed and vulnerable, yet strangely hopeful.

"Falling" played softly through the speakers, its lyrics painting a picture of longing and uncertainty. It mirrored your own inner turmoil, the battle between fear and listening to your heart for once.

You had spent so long convincing yourself that this was just a friendship, that any romantic thoughts were one-sided. Now, faced with the truth, you didn't know what to do next. Should you tell Jungkook? Should you pretend you never saw the playlist?

Your mind raced with questions, but deep down, you knew you couldn't ignore this any longer. Jungkook's feelings were out in the open, laid bare through these songs that said a lot about his emotions.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and let the music wash over you. Each melody, each lyric felt like a confession, a plea for you to see what had been in front of you all along.

"I already said I'm in love with you," the lyrics repeated in your mind, echoing the words you longed to hear from Jungkook himself.

The weight of the situation settled over you. You constructed the exact same playlist on your own phone, replaying it endlessly, searching for answers in the same songs he had chosen. It became a ritual, a way to understand what Jungkook hadn't yet said aloud. Each track felt like a message, a confession hidden in plain sight.

As days passed, the playlist became a lifeline, a connection to Jungkook that transcended words. You wondered if he knew the impact his secret gesture had on you, if he realized how deeply you analyzed each song, each lyric, each subtle hint of affection.

It was as if the playlist had become a conversation between your hearts, a silent dialogue that spoke volumes about your unspoken emotions. You couldn't deny the truth any longer—the love you felt for Jungkook had bloomed quietly, nurtured by his unwavering presence in your life and it reflected in the selection of songs carefully chosen by him.

And so you continued to listen, to immerse yourself in the music that spoke of love and longing. It was a soundtrack to his emotions, a testament to the unspeakable love that had grown between you and him.

The guys had planned a small gathering at your house. Hoseok, Jimin and Tae arrived at the same time around 8:00 p.m. with food, drinks and Cards Against Humanity. They were already having fun when they rang the bell.

"Hey," you said as you opened the door.

"Hey!" they greeted you.

You all headed towards the living room and they placed the things they brought on the table.

You chuckled, feeling a wave of warmth at their enthusiasm. "Thanks for coming, guys. I've got the place ready—cleaned up only for you the other day," you teased, motioning towards the neatly arranged living room.

As you all settled in, chatting and unpacking the snacks and games, there was a noticeable absence. Jungkook hadn't arrived yet, and though you tried not to dwell on it, his absence didn't go unnoticed by your friends.

"Where's Jungkook?" Tae finally asked, voicing the question that lingered in the air.

You shrugged nonchalantly, though your heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. "Not sure. He said he might be a bit late."

Hoseok raised an eyebrow, exchanging a knowing look with Jimin. "Didn't he say he was gonna meet with someone from Tinder?"

"Tinder?"

"You know, the dating app," Tae chimed in, taking a bite of a snack.

"I know what Tinder is Tae,” you replied with a laugh, trying to keep your cool.

"So you didn't know he was on a date?"

"No, he didn't tell me. Are you serious? He's on a date right now?" Your voice came out louder than expected, and you cursed yourself for the slip.

Jimin frowned, concerned. "Are you okay, Y/N?"

You waved dismissively, trying to downplay the hurt and disappointment. "Yeah, all good... well, more food and games for us until he gets here."

You tried to push down the gnawing feeling of jealousy that threatened to surface at the thought of Jungkook on a date with someone else. The idea of him with another person stirred up emotions you had been trying so hard to accept the past days. You forced a smile as you joined in the banter and laughter, attempting to bury your own conflicting emotions.

Despite their casual remarks, you couldn't shake the unease settling in your stomach. You hoped Jungkook would arrive soon, eager for his presence to dispel the nervous tension building within you.

The minutes ticked by, filled with laughter and infinite jokes over Cards Against Humanity. Each time the doorbell rang, you found yourself tensing, hoping it was him. But each time, it turned out to be someone else—a delivery person, one of your neighbors...

As the evening progressed, you couldn't help but steal glances at your phone, checking for any messages from Jungkook. But you decided not to keep waiting and decided to send him a text first.

'whats taking you so longggggggg' it read.

He replied instantly. 'i'm outside, coming now'

You put down your phone, your heart pounding. A few seconds later, you heard familiar footsteps approaching and there was a knock on the door. You got up, heading towards the door.

"He's here!" Tae exclaimed, a grin spreading across his face as he jumped up to answer the door with you.

You held your breath as Jungkook stepped inside, a sheepish smile on his lips as he greeted everyone. His eyes met yours briefly, and for a moment, the world seemed to slow down.

"Sorry I'm late guys," Jungkook said, setting down a bag of drinks next to Tae's.

Jimin smirked teasingly. "Lost track of time, huh?"

Jungkook chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Haha nah,"

Absolutely not. It was a disaster. Why did I agree to this? She seemed nice enough online, he thought, but in person... It just wasn’t there. The conversation felt forced, and I couldn’t wait for it to end. He grimaced, recalling how he struggled to find common ground and forced a laugh at her jokes. I should've been with y/n tonight, helping her get everything ready for this.

Of course, all of that stayed in his head. He was embarrassed to tell everyone how much he hated meeting someone new. It would just give your friends the opening to tease him more about it.

"Well, you made it, and we're all here now. So let's start" you suggested, breaking the silence.

His eyes sought out yours, finding a mix of emotions reflected back at him—surprise, curiosity, and something he couldn't quite place.

Everyone nodded in agreement and moved to gather around the coffee table, pulling your cushions closer.

With Jungkook's presence, the gathering felt complete, as if a missing piece had been found.

And as you all laughed and played into the night, you couldn't ignore the way Jungkook's gaze lingered on you, a silent reassurance of the feelings you'd been trying to suppress.

"I'm going to take a photo of this." Tae announced, lifting up his beer.

You and the others followed suit, holding your drinks up and smiling. Jungkook on your right got closer to you for the picture, cheek to cheek, his scent surrounding you. You wanted to lean in and practically inhale him.

"Perfect." Tae snapped the shot, and then showed it to the group. "What do you think, everyone?"

Everyone agreed that it was a good photo.

"We all look great," Tae said.

"But not as good as those two," Hoseok joked.

You rolled your eyes. "Please."

"It's true," Hoseok insisted. "You guys look good together."

Jimin nodded, taking another sip of his drink. "They're right. You’d make a cute couple."

Jungkook felt shy at their words. It's not like he was trying to hide his feelings for you, but he hadn't exactly made his intentions known, either. It was frustrating, wanting to be closer to you but not knowing how.

At least it was encouraging to know that your closest friends were seeing you both that way. That meant he had hope, right?

"Okay, that's enough," you said, feeling your cheeks heat up. "Let's keep playing."

As the game resumed, the group's attention shifted back to the cards.

You cleared your throat, shifting awkwardly on the cushion. "So... how was your date?"

Jungkook winced, not meeting your eyes. "It was okay," he said, his tone lacking enthusiasm.

You bit your lip, curiosity gnawing at you. "Just okay? What happened?"

Jungkook shook his head, still not meeting your gaze. "I don't know. It just didn't feel right, I guess."

You tilted your head, searching his face. "What do you mean?"

Jungkook shrugged, a sheepish expression on his face. "It was just... awkward. We didn't really click. I don't know."

Your chest tightened, a mix of emotions swirling inside. "Oh," you managed, turning back to the game. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm not good at this kind of thing, you know? Meeting new people, going on dates. It's hard for me. I'd rather be with people I already know and trust."

You knew what he meant. The same went for you. It was hard enough trying to navigate your feelings without having to worry about other people, too.

You nodded, giving him a small smile. "I get it."

"I just wish it could be easier, you know? Like, finding someone you actually like who happens to also like you back, and not having to worry about anything else. Just enjoying each other's company."

Your breath caught, your mind reeling from his words. And from the way he was looking at you, you could tell he wasn't just talking about friendship.

"Why would you say something like that?" you questioned, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

Jungkook's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? Say something like what?"

"That you wish you could be with someone who actually likes you and not have to worry about anything else."

"I... because it's true. I don't want to go on stupid dates anymore, I want to be with someone I care about. Someone I can laugh and have fun with."

You swallowed, your pulse quickening.

"Someone like who?"

Jungkook exhaled, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I think you know who," he said quietly.

You stared at him, speechless, as his words sunk in. Your heart was racing, your body buzzing with adrenaline.

Hoseok, who had been unusually quiet, suddenly made himself heard, "I think I'm stuck in your bathroom!"

You and Jungkook turned to find your friend, who sounded flustered and slightly panicked. Jimin and Tae burst into laughter, trying to contain themselves as Hoseok continued to tug at the bathroom door.

"What do you mean you're stuck?" Jimin managed to ask between giggles.

Hoseok yelled helplessly. "I went in to use the bathroom, and now the door won't open!"

Jungkook glanced at you with a bemused smile, the tension from earlier dissipating with the absurdity of the situation. "Seriously, Hobi?" he chuckled.

Hoseok sounded exasperated. "It's not funny! How am I supposed to get out of here?"

"I'll go get some tools," Tae offered, still chuckling as he headed towards the kitchen.

You stepped closer to the bathroom door, trying to assess the situation. "It's just stuck. Let me try," you suggested, reaching for the handle and giving it a firm tug.

To everyone's surprise, the door swung open easily, revealing Hoseok looking both relieved and slightly embarrassed. "Oh, thanks, I swear it was stuck…"

Jimin clapped Hoseok on the back, still laughing. "Sure it was, Hobi. Sure."

The rest of the evening passed by in a blur of laughter and games, and despite the lingering awkwardness from earlier, you were glad that the night had gone well.

It was close to 2:00 a.m. when your friends finally began to call it a night, and you were exhausted.

"Thanks again for coming, everyone. I had a lot of funnnn," you said, giving them each a hug goodbye.

Jungkook was still on your kitchen helping you clean up all the mess you made. Drying the dishes and placing the glasses on your cabinets. You were cleaning up the table when he walked up to you.

"Need any help?"

"I'm done, thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"I am, thanks Kookie,"

You started walking towards your room when you heard him speak up.

"I really liked being here tonight."

"I know it was a lot of fun," you replied with a small smile. You grabbed his hoodie and his iPod to return them. Staring at the endearing device. Almost as if it were something fragile.

"I'm glad you had a good time," you responded as you walked back to the kitchen, handing him back his belongings. As you stood there in the dimly lit room, a comfortable silence settled between you. Jungkook's gaze was intense as he looked at you, his eyes searching yours for something unspoken.

Jungkook paused his moves, as if weighing his next words carefully. "I was thinking... maybe we could hang out again this week, just the two of us."

"What about the girl from Tinder?" you asked as you returned to face him, your tone sharper than you intended.

Jungkook frowned, confusion clouding his features. "What are you talking about? You know I went on one date. I told you it was a disaster."

You sighed, suddenly feeling foolish. "Yeah, I know, don't know why I asked that, haha" you muttered. "Didn't know you still used this thing,"

He smiled, his fingers brushing over the iPod. "I still love my music in here, you know, it sounds a lot better"

"Yeah, that's what I thought,"

He looked at you intently, and the air between you seemed to grow heavy.

"I've missed spending time with you, Y/N."

Your breath caught in your throat, your pulse quickening as you stared at him. "Me too," you whispered.

"So, is that a yes?"

"A yes to what?"

"The offer to hang out,"

"Oh, right. Um, yeah, sure. Sounds nice."

Jungkook's face lit up. "Cool. Well, I guess I'll see you later, then." With a final smile, he turned and left.

You watched him go and your mind was spinning. Jungkook's words echoed in your head, his words sending a flutter through your chest. You couldn't help but grin. Maybe there was hope for you two after all.

The following day, you woke up to the sun streaming in through your curtains, illuminating the room in a soft glow. You stretched lazily, savoring the warmth of your bed, before reluctantly climbing out and heading to the bathroom to wash up.

Unconciously, you began to shut yourself out. You had spent the whole night awake, thoughts about the possibility of being with your best friend swirling around your head, preventing you from falling asleep.

As you brushed your teeth, you heard your phone buzz. It was a text from him.

'Good morning'

A smile tugged at your lips, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

'good morning'

'can we go out today? im craving pizza'

You bit your lip, considering the invitation. A part of you was eager to see him, but another part was worried that it might be awkward, especially after the scenarios you created in your head last night.

You ended up refusing to go out with him. And he started to get anxious. He thought he may have done something wrong. That you were actually angry for going on a date or that you no longer wanted him to be part of your life just because he went out with someone else.

Jungkook started panicking.

And so, he called the guys.

"I don't know, she's just not acting normal." he sighed.

"Did something happen the other night?" Hoseok asked, concerned.

"No, I don't think so. She didn't say anything to me,"

"So why is she mad at you?"

"I have no idea. I was hoping maybe you had an idea,"

"Did she say she was mad at you?"

"Not directly, but she didn't want to go out today,"

"Well, I'm not surprised. She's probably just tired,"

"Tired?"

"Yeah, from work and all that, she's probably exhausted. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Do you think so? You don't think she's mad at me?"

"I really don't think she is. She'll probably just want to rest for a few days, and then things will go back to normal."

Your attitude changed so suddenly. You kept on cancelling on him. It’s been weeks.

"You have to talk to her, man," Jimin said.

"What do I say? How do I bring it up? Do I just ask her why she's been avoiding me? What if she doesn't know what I'm talking about?"

"Then ask her. Don't overthink it. Just say it."

Jungkook sighed, frustrated. "You make it sound so easy,"

"Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. It's probably gonna be awkward as fuck, but you can't let it get in the way of your friendship. You've been friends for so long, and it's obviously important to both of you. If she really is mad at you, then you need to find out what's going on. But if she's not, then you need to clear the air and move on. Because otherwise, this is just gonna keep getting worse and worse for you."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just... worried, I guess."

"I know, but don't be. Everything’s fine. It’ll work out, especially if you let her know that you like her."

"What? Are you crazy? I can't just tell her that."

"Why not?"

"Because... what if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"So what if she doesn't? You'll never know unless you tell her. And if she does feel the same way, then you can finally stop being all sad and pathetic."

"You think she likes me?"

"Well, only she can tell you that, but you'll never know if you don't talk to her. So suck it up and go for it."

"Fine. I'll talk to her."

"Good."

"But... how do I tell her?"

"Just be honest. Tell her you've been worried that something is wrong, and you want to make sure everything is okay. Then let her know how you feel. But, be prepared for her reaction. If she doesn't feel the same way, it could make things weird. But you need to deal with it and move on."

That same day you were laying down in bed, scrolling through your phone. Reading over and over the lyrics of one particular song on the playlist.

"Is there a place for me? Is there a place for us? I can't tell you how much I love you, babe Open the door Open your heart Tell me how you're feeling, I miss you so bad I'm falling to pieces"

And just like that, your phone began vibrating, your heart beating rapidly as his name flashed across the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you free? Can we talk?"

"Uhm... sure, yeah. Now?"

"If it's okay, yes."

"Okay,"

"I'm coming up now."

"Wait, wha-..."

Jungkook was already at your door, knocking frantically. You opened it for him, your heart in your throat.

He stood before you, looking determined. His eyes were wide, his hair tousled, and he was out of breath, as if he had just run a marathon.

"Sorry, I was already on my way. I had to do it now. I have to say it, because otherwise, I won't have the courage to say it some other time,"

"Okay?"

He inhaled deeply, his eyes locked on yours.

"Y/N, I really, really like you. And I've been so confused and conflicted because I've always liked you, then I started thinking that maybe there was more. And then I realized there was. I really, really like you."

You swallowed hard, the words ringing in your ears.

"I-..."

"It's okay, I just wanted you to know,"

You shook your head, struggling to comprehend what he had just told you. "I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I had to say it."

"So, does this mean... what are you saying exactly?"

Jungkook hesitated, running a hand through his hair. "Look, Y/N, I don't expect anything from you, and I don't want things to get weird. But I just had to tell you. I'm crazy about you."

You nodded slowly, processing his words. "uh. I-... uh."

"I know it's sudden, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. But I don't want anything to change, I promise. I'll just go, and we can forget this ever happened. We can go back to the way things were, I promise. I'm sorry,"

"Jungkook, stop apologizing. It's not a bad thing, I'm just... processing. I've never had anyone say they're crazy about me before," with your phone in your hand an idea immediately came to you.

"Can I show you something?" you asked him.

"What is it?"

You walked up to him, your phone in your hand. You handed him your device and let him see your screen. There it was, the infamous playlist.

Jungkook's doe eyes widened, a small gasp escaping his lips as he noticed. "What... is this...?"

"I went through your iPod when you left your hoodie last time," you told him with an embarrassed grin. "They’re the same songs you have on yours,"

"This is so embarrassing," he groaned, his cheeks red. "You... you went through my iPod?" Jungkook asked, now with a hint of amusement in his voice.

You nodded, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief that he wasn't angry about it. "I was curious about the music you listen to. And I found… this,”

He stared at the playlist, then back at you, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "So... does that mean you... already knew how I felt?" Jungkook asked, hope flickering in his eyes.

Your heart raced at his words, a mix of excitement and uncertainty swirling inside you. Could this really be happening? Could your long-standing friendship truly be blossoming into something more?

"Jungkook," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "I... I like you too. More than just a friend."

"So what does this mean? That we are supposed to be together?"

"Maybe, or maybe not. It could just mean that you have great taste in music and I admire it,"

Jungkook's eyes widened with hope, a grin spreading across his face. "I've been wanting to tell you for so long, but I was afraid of ruining everything between us."

You smiled, your heart fluttering. "Me too, I’m sorry for making you worry these past few days,"

"Can I hug you?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Jungkook held onto you tightly, his arms snug around your waist. You rested your chin on his shoulder, closing your eyes and inhaling his familiar scent.

After a few moments, he pulled away slightly, his hands still resting on your hips.

He looked at you with a mix of relief and uncertainty in his eyes. "So, I didn't ruin anything between us?" he murmured softly.

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. "You didn't ruin anything, Jungkook. If anything, you've made everything clearer."

His shoulders relaxed slightly at your words, a hint of a smile returning to his face. "I'm glad."

"I'm glad too," you began again, your voice steady but tinged with nervousness. "But I also want you to know that... I've been thinking a lot too."

Jungkook turned to face you fully, his expression a mix of anticipation and apprehension. "About...?"

"About us," you admitted softly, meeting his gaze. "About how much I enjoy spending time with you, about how much I admire you, and... how I've felt something more than just friendship for a while now."

His eyes widened slightly, hope flickering in them. "A while?”

You nodded, a shy smile playing on your lips. "Yes, Jungkook. A while. I've just been afraid to say anything because I didn't want to lose you in case you didn't felt the same way about me."

He stepped closer to you, his hand reaching out tentatively. "Y/N... I wish I had known sooner. I've been struggling with these feelings, not knowing if you felt the same way."

"I'm sorry for not saying anything earlier," you murmured, your fingers brushing against his. "But I'm glad we're talking about it now."

He squeezed your hand gently, his eyes never leaving yours. "Me too. More than anything."

There was a moment of silence between you, the weight of your shared emotions hanging in the air. Finally, Jungkook spoke again, his voice filled with determination.

"So... what do we do now?"

You chuckled softly, feeling a surge of affection for him. "I think we take it one step at a time. We've already taken a big step today."

He nodded, a smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, you're right. I'm just... really happy right now."

"Me too," you said, squeezing his hand.

"I guess the only question now is... are we... together together?" he asked hesitantly.

You grinned, your heart pounding in your chest. "Only if you want us to be,"

"Yes, yes, yes. Of course, yes,"

"Then it's settled. We're together," you giggled.

Jungkook laughed, the sound sending a warm feeling through your chest.

Cut to 4 years in the future.

There you were at a dinner with friends and family. It had been four years since you got together, but it felt like an eternity. You both were so excited for each other, for your life from now on.

"Hey, you got a little something," he whispered, brushing away a strand of hair from your cheek.

You couldn't help but smile, his touch as tender as ever. "Thanks,"

"No problem," he smiled.

Then you could hear someone clinking a glass. "A few words from the fiancé!" Jin's voice reverberated through the dimly lit restaurant.

"Y-yeah, yeah," your boyfriend stuttered, clearing his throat and standing up. He was a nervous wreck, and it was adorable.

"Um, first, thank you all for being here. It really means a lot to us. We know how important it is to have your loved ones around you on a special day, and we're so grateful for everyone who's supported us. Second, a special thanks to my future father and mother-in-law. Thank you for always being there for us and for supporting our relationship. And, um, thanks to my own parents for, uh, also supporting us."

As the guests began to laugh, your boyfriend cleared his throat and continued, his gaze fixed on yours.

"But most importantly, I want to say thank you to my amazing girlfriend. Thank you for making every day better. Thank you for always being by my side and for loving me unconditionall—"

"We know that already! Entertain us or I won't pay the bill!" Jin's loud voice interrupted again.

You couldn't help but chuckle and the guests laughed again, amused.

Your fiancé smiled, clearly enjoying the teasing.

"Alright, alright," Jungkook cleared his throat before he continued, "actually, we agreed that we'd never tell anyone how we actually got together but I guess we're past that, right babe?"

"Oh no, don't!" You blushed, a little embarrassed.

"It's a funny story," he continued. "It's kind of a long one, but this girl right here thought that the best course of action was to make me a dating app profile before telling me that she was in love with me."

Everyone burst into laughter.

"I was dumb, okay?" you joked, earning more laughter from the guests.

"So, we ended up talking to some people on said dating app and went on a few dates, which were terrible—"

"Hey! It's not my fault that you agreed even though you were also in love with me!" — "Everyone, he had a playlist with my name filled with sentimental songs like the most lovesick boy on Earth!"

"But babe trust me, it's a great playlist, by the way," you added.

"And then we got drunk, and the truth was revealed."

"What?! No way," Hoseok laughed.

"We weren’t drunk, I’m kidding, I just told her that I had liked her since the beginning," he said. "We just made a disaster, and we were both scared shitless."

"But here we are," you added.

"So, yeah, thanks for coming everyone," your fiancé concluded, his voice breaking a little as he wrapped up his little speech.

You could see him trying to blink back tears as he sat back down next to you, and you gave his hand a squeeze.

"You did great," you whispered, leaning in to give him a quick kiss.

"Thanks," he replied, his voice hoarse.

Your parents got up, taking the floor after him.

"Thank you, thank you," your mom said, a bit embarrassed.

"We’d like to share a few words as well. First, we'd like to thank everyone for coming. It's such a privilege to have all our family and friends here, and we're so thankful for your support. And we're especially grateful for our beautiful daughter and our soon-to-be son-in-law. We are so proud of both of you, and we know you'll have a long and happy life together."

"Thanks," you managed to say, overcome with emotion.

"So, now, we'd like to present the couple with a little something. It's just a small token of our love for them," your mother added, signaling for someone to come forward.

Jimin, Hoseok, and Tae stood up from the table and approached the stage, each of them holding a framed collage.

"Here, you can pass these out," your mother said, handing each of the guests copies of the photos.

You and your fiancé were stunned as the three guys presented the photos to you.

The photos were a collage of different memories: you and him during his graduation, another one from yours, a candid shot of him cooking for you, a photo of the two of you smiling in front of the sunset, and a picture of him holding your hand while you were asleep.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you took in the beautiful photos, each one capturing a special moment in your relationship. The love and happiness radiating from the images made your heart feel full to the brim. You glanced at Jungkook, whose eyes were also glistening with unshed tears, and you reached for his hand, holding it tightly.

"Thank you so much," you managed to say, your voice choked with emotion. "These are... perfect."

"I have a gift for you too," you told him, reaching under the table. You brought out a box wrapped in bright pink paper and a bow.

He looked at you with surprise, his eyes shining with curiosity as he took the box from your hands. Slowly unwrapping it, his mouth fell open in astonishment when he saw what was inside. Nestled within the box was a beautifully crafted watch, the silver band gleaming under the soft light of the restaurant.

"Oh wow," he breathed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "It's... it's incredible."

"It's engraved," you whispered, pointing to the back of the watch where a message was etched. His eyes widened as he read the words: 'Forever yours, Y/N.'

"I was hoping you'd wear it to the wedding," you said, grinning. "But don't cry, you'll make me cry!" you exclaimed.

"I'm not crying, I just..." he trailed off, sniffling.

"I love it," Jungkook finally managed to say, his voice filled with emotion. He stood up abruptly and pulled you into a tight hug, “I love you.”

As you both separated, there was a collective 'aww' from the guests, making you both blush.

The rest of the evening continued with laughter and joy, surrounded by the love of friends and family. People danced, sang, and shared stories late into the night. It was a celebration of love and new beginnings.

As the night winded down and guests started to leave, you found yourselves standing alone in the dimly lit space. Jungkook wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close.

"Thank you for everything today," you said sincerely, looking into his big brown eyes.

"Thank you for being mine," he replied softly, feeling overwhelmed with happiness.

"I wouldn't want to be anyone else's," you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Jungkook cupped your face in his hands and placed a lingering kiss on your forehead. The world around you seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of the deepest affection you’ve ever felt.

[lovelettersfromluna]

Linger

Summary: Back home for the holidays after hooking up with your best friend, who you also happen to be madly in love with...what could possibly go wrong.

an: Look who managed to get the final part of a series in a manageable time, me!! This honestly would have been out way sooner but I ended up getting pretty sick, so I apologize for that. Im feeling better, and super inspired! I have some other stuff in the works for you all as well, bc I think you deserve to be spoiled 😌. Anyways! I hope you guys enjoy the last installment of this fic!! 🖤🖤🖤

Warnings: Smut!! MDNI!! 18+, Ellie and reader are both very sad and very stubborn, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol usage, mention of marijuana, making out, pet names, oral (Ellie receiving), tribbing, let me know if I missed anything!

Part 1, part 2

Tag list: @eveshyper @mattm1964 @teawithnosugar @macaroni676 @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @mina-281 @aethelwyneleigh27 @abbysmainbitch @lil-elliesgf @franreadss @fairyysoiree @r3wbeef @liizzygrant @elliewilliamsgf69 @mabelle-cherie @cauliflowerpatch @forelliesposts @lunasolac @nil-eena @pillowprincessleia @pedropascalsbbg @ellieswifeyy @lesbiantothemoonandback @dummysimp011 @miniaturebananadefendor @sweetpumpkins @thesmutconnoisseur @miksde @delicategirlie @sawaagyapong @thesevi0lentdelights @p4ison1vy @coxmicbabygirl @julibanana925 @viswifetotallyreal

The holidays had always been your favorite time of the year.

It always filled you with this warm, cozy, feeling every time you thought about it. Throughout all three hundred and sixty five days of the year, you looked forward to those last three months tucked away at the end of the year, that were filled with nothing but warm memories.

Ever since you had started college, you family made it a tradition of having you come back for the holidays. Right after halloween, you would practically race through the assignments you had until thanksgiving break before you were off to catch a flight to spend time with your family.

You and Ellie always went home together.

She was practically apart of your family, and you were practically apart of hers. If Joel wasn't knocking on your door with a half burnt pie with Ellie standing by his side, eager to play whatever new video came out that month, you and your family were making their way to the Miller house. It was just how things were, and you it was another reason why you loved the holidays so much.

But this year, things had changed.

The air only got colder with each passing day, nipping away at your skin and making it harder and harder to peel yourself from your warm bed every morning that you had class. It was like with each passing year, the colder months grew to be more bitter and unforgiving than the last.

It had been almost a month since you spoke to Ellie.

After everything that had happened at the party, the slew of emotions that brewed within the depths of your mind and soul was almost too much to bare.

After you passed out in Ellie's arm, the bliss you felt could not compare to anything else you had ever felt before. Out of all that you had done, every one you had ever been intimate with, there was no way they could ever hold a candle to the way Ellie made you feel that night. Her arms stayed wrapped around your body throughout the entire night, soft lips pressing sleepy kisses against your face and neck, her low voice mumbling sweet nothings into your ear between the hazy state that lies between sleep and wake.

All of it came together to create the single most euphoric experience you had ever come in contact with in your entire life. But but daylight, it was all ripped away.

As soon as your eyes opened, adjusting to the light shining into the foreign bedroom you slept in, you were confused. You weren't in your bedroom, you certainly weren't in your house, you started to struggle with finding things that you were familiar with.

The second you looked down and saw Ellie's face pressed against your chest, you had gotten what you asked for.

It made you seize up a bit, your body stiffening in the girls embrace as you slowly recalled what had happened the night prior. Images of Ellie slotted between your legs came flooding in, her face slick with your arousal, green eyes low and filled with lust, mumbling the filthiest things to you as she destroyed your core with her skilled tongue.

The memories alone made you whine.

The sound made Ellie groan in her sleep, the brunette humming softly as she stirred a bit in her sleep before she leaned in, pressing lazy, sleepy kisses against your throat as she nuzzled closer into you, seeking your warmth as she slowly came to.

"hmmm..whats the matter baby?" She mumbles out against your skin, her voice low and filled with that delicious gravel that only came with sleep. It makes you swallow thickly, taking a deep inhale as you still in her arms.

She was so comfortable, basking in the bliss that you felt mere moments ago. You could tell, from the relaxed muscles of her biceps, to the soft little hums that you felt against your neck, Ellie didn't have a care in the world, not when you were in her arms like this, not when she still had memories of the night prior running through her mind, painting a soft little smile on her pink lips

And truthfully? That made you feel even worse.

Your lack of a response makes her hum, as she blinked her green eyes open to stare up at you, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. She saw the look on your face, she saw how it was nearly drained of all color. She was confused, because you both had such an amazing night together, there was no reason why you shouldn't be just as blissed out as she was.

"Baby? You with me?" She questioned once again, watching as you blink a few times, seemingly registering her words. You inhaled deeply, clearing your throat as you grabbed both of her arms, and began pulling them from around your body. Ellie frowned as she watched you, but not making any attempt to tighten her grasp and keep you close to her.

You didn't answer, you simply rolled out of bed and silently began grabbing your clothes that had been tossed around the bedroom, the fact alone made you frown further, because through the haze of your hangover, the exhaustion, and the overwhelming urge to crawl back into bed and let Ellie do whatever she wanted to you.

All you could think about, was Sofia.

Her pretty hair, her twinkling eyes, the little dimples she had at the corners of her lips. Her pretty face was the only thing that you could see in your mind. It was like her beauty was evading every corner of your brain, forcing herself to be known, to be acknowledged by you. For anyone, this would have most definitely been the normal thoughts that are linked to someone as beautiful as Sofia, but not for you.

Because you were moaning underneath her girlfriend a mere few hours ago.

You felt like you wee going to pass out. Your heart started to beat faster as the magnitude of what you did, what you let happen, finally began to settle in. It made you feel sick, and the back of your throat burned as hot tears threatened to spill past your eyes and onto your cheeks. How could you have been so stupid? How could you have ever let something like this happen? You were careless, and it was at the expense of someone else's feelings, someone else's relationship.

Through the racing thoughts that filled your head, and the pounding of your heart in your chest, you couldn't hear Ellie calling out for you multiple times. She was sat up on the bed, eyeing you as you rummaged through the bedroom to grab your belongings. She watched with furrowed eyebrows, and a gentle frown, trying to get you to simply look at her for a few minutes. Ellie knew you too well, and she knew that the quieter you got in times like this, the more you got trapped inside your own head.

She was losing you, and she knew that.

She called out your name once more, and through the graces of some unknown force, you heard it. It snaps you out of your thoughts, and it forced you to stand up straight, your head turning in her direction and eyeing her like a deer caught in the headlights. It made Ellie sigh softly, her feet swinging over the bed as she got up, and began making her way over to you.

"What's...what are you doing, baby? I thought...I thought we" She mumbled out softly, taking a few steps towards you. Her frown deepened when you respond to this, by stepping away from her. The way you stared up at her, is a look she doesn't think she will ever be able to forget, because you look terrified, disgusted, scared.

Worst part is, she doesn't know if you feel that way about you, or yourself.

She tried reaching out for you, slender fingers inches away from your waist, her hands burning for you once again. You stepped back again, staring at the girl in disbelief. "Thought what, Ellie? Huh? Thought that...that you could just ruin my night last night? And then drag me up to a random fucking room just to fuck me? So that you could.." You choked up, the words dying down in your throat, the mere thought of what you were going to say making those hot tears burn at your throat again.

You inhaled deeply, blinking back the tears that glossed over your eyes. "That you could use me, to cheat on Sofia" you whispered out, and that was enough to make those wretched tears spill onto your cheeks.

Ellie felt herself choke up as soon as she saw you that way, teary eyed, voice barely above a whisper, heart visibly breaking, and it was all because of her. It was all because of her, and her inability to do things right for once in her life.

You didn't make any attempt at hiding your tears anymore, they were there, and it was clear to see that what happened, was affecting you. The only thing you could do, was leave with the small amount of pride that you still had.

When a moment passed without Ellie saying anything, the girl knowing deep down, that there was nothing she could truly say to justify the situation, or make her actions any less wrong than they already were, you let out a tired sigh. You picked up the last of your things, slung your purse over your shoulder, and left Ellie there standing there.

And as horrible as it sounded, it hurt even more when she didn't try to chase after you.

You didn't want to ask your mom if Ellie and Joel were coming to your house for the holidays, because you knew that it would instantly raise suspicion on what had been going on between the two of you. Your mother could see right through you, and she was no stranger to how eager you always became to have both Joel and Ellie over to the holidays, so once she noticed that it was replaced with anxiety, she would be concerned. She was already confused when she learned that you and Ellie wouldn't be making your way home together like usual.

You hated traveling alone, you always did the annual holiday flight home with Ellie. She made what would usually be quite the boring trip, something that you found to be just as exciting as the holidays itself. You saw it as the perfect way to kick off your favorite time of the year.

But this year, you were doing it alone. Something about it made you feel like the holidays this year wouldn't go down as one of your favorites.

As soon as your parents were picking you up from the airport, and smothering you in kisses, telling you how much they missed you and asking you how your flight went, you felt a bit of the dark cloud that was looming over you clear up a bit. It allowed you to forget about the intense thoughts of your best friend that had been following you around for the past month.

It made you feel hopeful for the time that you had home.

After that night, there was a tiny piece of you that hoped Ellie would reach out. You selfishly hoped that she would come and find you, apologize for what happened, tell you that things between her and Sofia were fine, so that you could go back to normal.

But she didn't.

Ellie ignored you, just as much as you ignored her.

You kept your head down for the most part, in class and when walking through the hallways. You didn’t know how you’d be able to handle seeing Ellie, or seeing Sofia.

Or worse, seeing them together.

When it was fresh, you wanted to avoid it. You wanted to pretend it didn’t happen and carry on throughout the remainder of the semester keeping to yourself.

Soon, you realized that you’d gone the longest without speaking to Ellie throughout your entire friendship. She didn’t text you, she didn’t try to come and see you, hell, she didn’t even look in your direction. It was like she didn’t know you, as if you hadn’t practically grown up together, reaching your greatest milestones together.

On her end, there was complete silence.

The one time you caught her looking at you, was when Alex was sitting with you in the courtyard one day. It was one of the last days leading up to the break, and Alex had slowly made her way back to you. After everything happened, she gave you your space, while quietly letting you know she was still around. Once you finally worked up the courage to speak to her, and apologize for what Ellie did, she told you she understood. She tried to explain to you, that the way Ellie looked at you, wasn’t the way someone looks at just a friend. She could see the fire in her eyes, an undeniable need for you.

But you refused to believe it.

Ellie had every chance to be with you. She was the closest person in the world to you, she knew everything about you, her she never made any attempts to take things further. That was fine, it wasn’t something you dwelled on, because if you weren’t Ellie’s type, then so be it. You knew you weren’t, and while it was something that didn’t bother you…

It did once she had no issue with hooking up with you, but never tried to actually love you.

It made you feel cheap, knowing that you were only worthy of being the other woman, of being the girl that had to stay hidden behind closed doors, a fantasy for Ellie to play with, all while having the benefits of Sofia as her girlfriend. It made you wonder why you weren’t good enough, what separated you from the other girls she dated.

You figured you’d leave that thought alone. If you didn’t, you’d drive yourself mad.

Alex acted as your person of comfort through all of this, offering you nights of hanging out, study dates, or even stopping by to talk after class. You had to admit, it helped. And while she was sitting across from you on a bench underneath a shady tree, listening as you vented about the paper you were working on for that week, you happened to look up for only a second, and you were suddenly locking eyes with Ellie.

Ellie, who had eyes that were glazed over, lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Eyebrows knitted together as if she’d cry at any moment, begging, screaming for you to hear her, to see her.

Ellie, who immediately turns her head away from you, and keeps on walking.

Throughout the entire month of not speaking to Ellie, that was the single interaction you had with her. And now, you were expected to spend the holidays with her, her father, and the rest of your family. Pretending as if everything was okay, and none of this was keeping you up every single night since the party.

You tried your hardest to get out of the dinner your mom had planned.

You used every excuse in the book. You said your throat was hurting, meaning you must have been coming down with a cold, you complained that you had the worst headache, you even tried using the excuse of not bringing any appropriate clothes for a party.

But of course, your sweet parents did their best at convincing you that the party would be fun, and you’d regret missing it if you did.

You tried taking your time while getting ready, hoping that with some stroke of luck, everyone that was supposed to arrive would’ve flaked on the last minute, meaning you wouldn’t have to put on a tight dress and do your makeup for no reason. Once you heard your mothers squeals, paired with the front door creaking from upstairs, you knew that was out of the question.

You slowly made your way downstairs, kitten heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, the bottom of your white linen dress swaying a bit with you as you walked. It fit you perfectly, hugging your curves at the middle, little flower cutouts littering every other inch of the dress, a dainty little golden necklace resting against your chest, your hair styled perfectly, makeup even more so.

You smiled softly as you greeted some of the guests, all of them raving to your parents about how pretty you were, how much you’d grown, how they didn’t have a little girl anymore. The compliments swelled your heart, making your head big as you shook them off, trying your best to keep up with all of them. The guests were a good distraction, giving you the opportunity to act as your mothers mini me, handing out glasses of champagne and whiskey, giving everyone a warm greeting.

It was so much of a distraction, that you barely noticed your father opening the door for Joel and Ellie.

With how much she’d been avoiding you, you were almost convinced she wouldn’t come. Ellie was never one to go to places she didn’t want to, and Joel rarely forced her. He knew her boundaries, and so did she, and you were sure that as of right now, you were crossing every single one of them with just your existence alone.

Ellie catches sight of you first, once your father let her go of the big bear hug he gave her, her eyes were instantly searching for you.

She feels her breath hitch once she lays eyes on you, pushing your pretty hair past your shoulder, laughing softly at something someone that wasn’t fully visible to her was saying. You brought your champagne glass to your lips, sipping a bit of the golden, bubbly liquid.

Ellie had never been more jealous of a fucking glass in her entire life.

A few hours prior, Ellie had been pacing in her bedroom a few blocks away from your house. She didn’t know what to wear, she didn’t know how to act, she didn’t even know if she’d actually being going. Ever since the night at the party, Ellie had an unmistakable lump in her throat every time she thought about you.

Every time she thought about your lips on hers, or the way your moans sounded, or the way she’d stupidly avoided that nagging little voice inside her head for the past however many years, screaming at her about how pretty you are, about how good it felt to sleep in bed with you at night, at how fucking right it felt to simply be near you.

She thought about all the times the perfect girl for her was standing right there, and she somehow always passed her up for someone else.

Ellie’s initial reaction to everything was to run. She wanted to run from everything, from you, from Sofia, from her feelings. Everything that was complicated in her life was just another thing she needed to get away from, and it’s why you didn’t hear from her after that night. She made sure to make herself scarce, because she knew once she got in front of you again, she’d either say something ridiculous that would dig her into a deeper hole than she was already in, or she’d screw up and kiss you again because she simply couldn’t help herself.

She figured staying away was the best.

Fighting off her feelings was the way to go, and it’s what she did. She knew that eventually she’d have to face the music, but she opted for that later than sooner. She hoped that by the time she saw you again, you’d both be able to get over whatever it was that happened, sweep it under the rug and carry on like before.

Yet, here she was, facing the music like she knew she had to, and it wasn’t any easier than it was in the beginning.

You were always pretty, from the moment Ellie had found you on the playground as kids, she thought you were pretty. The way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way you hid your face behind the thick, frumpy turtle necks during the winter, only your cute cheeks and eyes visible, everything about you had always been so fucking pretty, there was no doubt about it.

But God…she had a tendency of forgetting how fucking breathtaking you were when you were like this. All dressed up, diamond earrings twinkling in the dim light of your home, lips tinted the most perfect shade of red, complimenting your skin tone, tugged between your teeth as you eagerly listened on in whatever conversation you were in.

Whenever you looked like this, only one thought came to Ellie’s mind. She’d think about you and her, in a nice big house, planning cheesy Christmas parties for people, wining and dining your guests, her strong arm snagged around your waist as she paraded around her beautiful wife, bragging about the shiny diamond ring she used to propose to you.

It was a selfish thought, but still one that lingered in the back of her mind. Whenever she couldn’t sleep, or got a little too high, it would pop up, and put a stupid smile on her face as she basked in the way her chest warmed up at the thought of making you her wife, the perfect timeline of friendship to lovers.

It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Ellie dreaming of you as her wife yet she’d brag about other girls to you constantly. Yeah, she didn’t get it either.

It was like a form of self sabotage, Ellie somehow feeling she’d never be enough for you. As your best friend, she wanted nothing but the best for you, because she knew you deserve it, and somehow she didn’t fit that category herself. She wanted desperately to, to be the one for you, to sweep you off your feet and show you what love is. It made her sick to her stomach even thinking about someone else doing it for you, anyone but her.

It was twisted, and selfish, and fucked up, and it was why you guys were drifting further apart than you ever had.

When Ellie finally decided to go to the party, she had it all planned out. She was going to get in, have a few drinks to loosen her up a bit, then she’d take you away and confess her undying love for you….

Or? She’d stare at you like a hawk all night, get too drunk and leave without uttering a single word to you, continuing her silent streak she had going.

The choice was in her hands.

You still hadn’t noticed her at that point, and once a few other guests had made their way to your front door to be greeted by your dad, and she noticed that you didn’t look their way either, she figured you were avoiding the front door like a plague, because you didn’t want to risk seeing Ellie.

And that was true, partially. You were half ignoring the door, and half enjoying your glass of champagne while speaking to one of your dads dearest friends. The alcohol made you feel warm, and it made it easier to have tunnel vision on anything but Ellie, allowing your fake smile to appear the slightest bit more real to the party goers, and that was good enough for them, and for you.

As much as you tried ignoring the door, you couldn’t ignore Ellie’s eyes burning into from different parts of the room. You could feel her gaze searing into you when your parents were greeting her, once again raving about how beautiful she’d gotten, how much they loved her tattoos. As much as you wanted to give in on her, and lock eyes with those green eyes you missed so much, you knew that was a bad idea.

You’d have to simply play dumb for the rest of the night

The party carried out better than you’d imagined.

You managed to avoid Ellie without being painfully obvious to everyone there that you were in fact avoiding Ellie, and you wanted to praise yourself for doing so. It was easy, busying yourself with guests, the alcohol turning you into the little social butterfly your parents always wanted you to be. Using the excuse of hopping from conversation to conversation made it easy to keep your focus on something for enough time, that you were able to completely ignore Ellie.

Being pulled in all sorts of directions, being called every time you stepped away to refill someone’s drink or grab another tray of snacks, you were the star of the show, as funny as that seemed to you. The attention you received would’ve made your head spin on any other given day, but right now, it was just what the doctor ordered.

Sure, there were a few awkward moments where Ellie made her way to the bar when you just so happened to be there. There were moments where her broad shoulders would brush past yours, almost pulling you out of your fantasy world completely, putting you at her mercy. There was even a moment during dinner where you were positive Ellie’s eyes were going to pop out of her head with how closely she watched you.

Through all of those things, and many other tiny little instances that were a bit too awkward for you to deal with, you prevailed. And honestly? It made you feel hopeful for your future in school. If you managed to ignore Ellie so flawlessly during a holiday party, all while maintaining the composure of not having her near? There was no way in hell you’d fuck up the same exact thing at school.

You didn’t need Ellie, and you were slowly proving that to yourself.

Once dinner was done, everyone stayed for only a bit longer, praising your mothers cooking skills, and the decorations in the house. Slowly, the guests started to leave, sleepy eyes and full bellies was all they needed to be sent home with sweet dreams and even sweeter desserts, courtesy of your mother. You felt the weight on your chest grow lighter and lighter with each person leaving, knowing that in due time, Ellie would be leaving as well. When you heard your father and mother walking Joel to the door, all three of them laughing like a group of teenagers after a rowdy night together, you bid the older man a goodbye and made yourself scarce. The kitchen had been cleaned, leftovers had been packed up and put away, and you were feeling far too warm from the liquor, and in desperate need of your bed.

Your heels clicked against wooden stairs as you made your way up to your bedroom, a soft huff leaving your lips as you reached behind your back, struggling to undo the annoying little clasp that held the back of your dress together near the zipper. Another puff of air blew passed your burgundy tinted lips once you reached your bedroom, kicking your slipper heels off as you continued clumsily fumbling with the back of your dress. At this point, you felt tempted to call it quits and sleep in the damn thing.

A soft knock on your door caught your attention, and you let out a sigh of relief as you walked over to it, knowing that it was most certainly your mother coming up to catch any late night gossip that you and her had caught within the night from some of the older ladies that attended.

“Thank god, i was waiting for you to come up. Can you help me with this, mom? I can’t get the clasp” you huff out softly, already turning around and reaching behind your back to fumble with the clasp before you can see who it is standing at your doorway.

Ellie’s eyes are shamelessly raking down your body, the girl swallowing thickly as she looks down at the swell of your ass under the taunt, linen fabric of your dress. The lack of your mothers voice makes you frown, and you quickly turn around to see what it is that has her so silent, but your face drops whenever you’re met face to face with Ellie instead.

Any cockiness that you felt regarding how well you’d ignored Ellie that night had disappeared, and was only replaced with silence as you stared into her eyes. Your throat goes dry, unable to find the words to say to her, and Ellie figures this is her chance.

“Um…your parents and my dad went to check out some holiday thing going on down the street…they asked if I wanted to come but I…figured I should come talk to you instead” she explains, and you simply stare at her dumbfounded, because the path of logic that lead her up to your bedroom is one that you seriously can't come to sympathize with, no matter how pitiful she looked staring into your eyes.

You inhaled deeply, eyebrows furrowed as you gave the girl an unamused look. A moment of silence passes between the both of you before you give her a shrug. "If you leave now you could probably still catch them" you hum out, the alcohol in your system making it far too easy to be rude to your best friend. She visibly deflates at your words, the tone on your tongue foreign to her ears. She was so used to you being so shy, so sweet, always welcoming her with there same sweet words you had for her.

"Look...We can't just carry on as if nothing happened. We need to talk about this...please", you hate the way your stomach does flips when she speaks, the girl practically pleading with you to hear her out. Begging to get a moment alone with you to simply reflect on everything that happened. In that moment, you realized that no matter what, no matter what she did to you, or what happened between the two of you...

You would always be weak for her.

Your gaze softens as you watch her, taking a deep breath before you silently step to the side, giving her the space to walk into your bedroom. The way her eyes shine when you do this doesn't go unnoticed, and those stupid fucking puppy dog eyes of hers are making you melt all over again, especially when she looks so happy just from you letting her into your room.

Ellie inhales deeply once she's in your room, looking around and taking it all in. She recalls all the many nights you two had spent there together, staying up late and watching corny movies, your eyes burning from being glued to the tv for too long. She remembers all the times she would follow you home after school, using studying as an excuse to spend a few more hours of the day with you. She remembers all of it, every memory, all the times you two spent together in that house, in your room. She smiles at the sight of the little flowers on your bedsheets, or the way your room had somehow perfectly preserved the sent of you, of your shampoo, of your favorite lotion, filling her lungs and almost making her feel dizzy. She makes a mental note that your room is definitely one of her favorite places.

And she hates that you two had come to whatever you were at now, creating bitter memories in such a sweet space.

The sound of your soft sigh cuts through her thoughts, and she quickly turns around to see you. Your arms were crossed over your chest, your face still with that unamused expression, making Ellie feel like you would rather be anywhere other than with her, like you couldn't wait for her to leave your bedroom, and it makes her heart sink completely, because out of all the memories Ellie had with you, none of them were ever filled with that face that you were making.

She clears her throat, awkwardly shifting her weight onto feet as she gives you a nod, as if answering a question that you hadn't even asked. "Sorry..um...let's sit?" She questions hopefully, and you shake your head, standing your ground with the girl.

"I'm fine here...and whatever you need to say to me can be said standing up" you mumble out softly. You knew deep down, that the second Ellie got you siting next to her, you wouldn't be able to fight back the urges you had to jump her bones. You would be lying if you said that you didn't think about her every night since the party. Her lips, her tongue, the way her hands felt roaming your body, keeping you close while you both slept. The memories you had with here were seared at the front of your brain, demanding to be acknowledged every waking moment of your day.

She frowns softly at your words, but gives you a gentle nod, understanding that this was just as hard for you as it was for her, if not more. Ellie takes a deep inhale, seemingly trying to find the right words to say, the right way to start off this entire conversation. She finds herself choking up, heart beating so fast she was sure you could hear it. You're making her nervous, and Ellie is finding it hard to separate the girl that has been her best friend for her entire life, from the girl that she was falling in love with.

And she finds it hard to figure out when those two things became one and the same.

"I broke up with Sofia." she blurts out, the words almost leaving her lips too fast to make a coherent sentence, but still, you catch every word perfectly. You stare at her for a moment before you scoff, you don't mean for the sound to come out as harsh as it does, but you don't have much control over your emotions at the moment.

"Is that supposed to change every thing? Is that supposed to make all of this okay, Ellie?" You question, the calmness of your voice almost scaring Ellie. She quickly shakes her head, stepping closer towards you, to which you take a step back, mirroring the morning after the party almost identically.

"No! Fuck..No, it isn't supposed to fix every thing..I just-" Although you agreed to hearing Ellie out, letting her into your bedroom for the sole purpose of letting her explain, you're cutting her off, because you truly cannot hold back anymore. You're tired of holding it all back, biting your tongue and forcing down what you felt for the sake of others.

"Do you not understand what you did? You sabotaged something that was....that was fucking good for me. Alex was so good for me, and you were so dead set on ruining that for me!" Your voice slowly begins to raise, and you are so thankful that your parents and Joel aren't in the house, because you're sure the neighbors can probably hear you.

Ellie opens her mouth again to speak, attempting to diffuse your anger, but you don't let her. "No, I have gone this entire time in silence, it's time I talk for once" you stop her, and Ellie is positive she's never seen you this angry in her entire life.

"You have known me, almost your entire life. You never once made any advances towards me, which is fine! I've watched you have multiple girlfriends who could not be any further away from what I am than they already are, and I never said a word. I have loved you from the moment I understood what love is, and I never said anything. I was okay with not being wanted by you, I was content with just being your friend, but suddenly you're stopping me from gettin into a relationship of my own? and using me to cheat on your girlfriend?" You started pacing as you spoke, your hands flailing about as you ranted, unable to even stop and realize that you had in fact just confessed that you loved your best friend.

You were just so tired. You were tired of feeling unwanted, of feeling like you were always the second option, never worthy enough to be the girl that was taken home to mom, always the girl that was picked last.

You were fucking tired.

Ellie feels like her heart seizes up when she hears those words, the ones that confirmed your feelings. She hears how tired you are, how broken you have become, at the hands of her doings, and she can feel that the love you have for her is slowly drifting as this situation prolongs.

"And...and I know I've never been that girl. I'll never be Sofia, I'll never be the girl that makes people do a double take when I'm walking down the hallway, Im not...that isn't me. And I was fine with that! I was fine with going unnoticed...but do you...do you know how hard it is to be placed second by the girl you're madly in love with? You made me feel so...fucking worthless of actually being wanted past a night of fucking" You're crying at this point, soft hiccups and sighs interrupting every other word, making it hard to breath, and making you sound all the more broken.

Ellie watches as you pace back and forth, ranting, crying, desperately trying to find answers for why she did what she did. Searching for the will to prove that you were worth it, that you were worth love.

She realizes that she destroyed any chance of you feeling worthy of love when she drove Alex away from you.

You finally stop pacing, turning towards her. The image of you breaks her heart, because your lashes are webbed together, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks soaked, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.

"You need to leave" You mumble out, voice trembling as you struggle to get the words out. Ellie simply stares as she watches you, shaking her head as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. "M'not going anywhere...I won't leave you again" She tries, her voice barely above a whisper. Your chin wobbles a bit as more tears threaten to spill onto your cheeks, your throat burning as you shake your head, your arms going up to wrap around your torso, as if you were keeping yourself from falling apart.

"Y-you need to get out of my house, Ellie...I can't...I won't allow you to break my heart anymore" The way you struggle to find a proper pattern of breathing and speech is a clear indication that you're on the verge of breaking down all over again, crumbling apart and letting your emotions get the best of you, and it hurts Ellie so much, she feels tears prickling at her own eyes as well.

She frowns deeply as she moves to step closer to you, watching as your head falls, staring at the floor of your bedroom, small whimpers leaving your lips. She takes the opportunity to get as close to you as she had the entire night, staring down at you for a moment before she hesitantly wraps her strong arms around your body, which results in a low sigh of relief from her, and more sobs from you.

"Can't leave you, angel...Im not making that mistake again" She mumbles softly, her words muffles as she presses her face against your head, her eyes fluttering shut as she takes a deep inhale of your floral shampoo.

And you can't even fight her off, not when your body is shaking as you sob in her arms, not when her holding you is the only thing that soothes the burn, soothes your aching heart of all the pain it had experienced, not only within the past month, but throughout the entire duration of your friendship with Ellie.

Ellie stands there for a moment, holding you as you cry, as you both cry. Somewhere within the time of hearing your soft little whimpers muffled into her shirt, tears began to spill onto her cheeks as well. Her strong arms ran up and down your back, keeping you close, thankful that you were at least letting her do this for you. Once you had calmed down a bit, you finally pull away slightly to look up into her eyes, your own red and puffy as you sniffle.

"I meant it Ellie...I can't...I won't do this with you anymore" You mumble softly, your heart swelling due to how fucking close she was. You could kiss her if you wanted to, the girl staring down at you and taking in all of your features.

She felt her heart break, because she knew you were referring to your friendship, but your words felt like it was an ending to so much more than that. It felt like she was losing her person, the one that was for her, her only love that she needed within her life.

Because she was.

She inhaled deeply, shaking her head slightly as she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know I can't leave...angel.." she hummed softly, and it made you eyebrows furrow. She felt your hands push against her waist, trying to pry your body from hers, trying your best to put more space between the two of you so that you could finally kick her out, and end whatever it was that was going on between the two of you.

And she realized, it was now or never.

"I can't do that, because i'm in love with you" she continued quickly, knowing she was running out of time to tell you how she felt. She knew that this was her last chance, and she had to use it accordingly.

The way your eyes widen as you stare up at her makes Ellie frown, because you look shocked. Is it really so shocking to believe that your best friend could love you just as much as you loved her, if not more?

You don't say anything, so she takes your silence as an opportunity to continue speaking.

"Since we were kids...I just...I didn't want to ruin things, and I always knew you deserved better than what I could ever offer, and you still do...But i'm selfish, and I can't ignore the way I feel when i'm around you" She mumbles out, trying to speak low so that you don't hear the way her voice begins to break the more she speaks about it.

You can see clearly that she's on the verge of tears, her green eyes glossing over with tears, her nose and cheeks flushing red as she bit down on her bottom lip, seemingly fighting back the tears as she squeezes your waist, trying her best to keep herself at bay.

"Im sorry..for everything that I've done...for making you ever feel like you were unwanted or undesirable when that couldn't be further from the truth...I was stupid, and I did things horribly and I've fucked up any chances I had with making you something more to me than friend...but I hope you can forgive me...because I can't...I can't do this without you" she whimpers out softly, the tears that she was desperately trying to hold back, already flowing down her freckled cheeks.

When she stares down at you, and your expression is so unreadable, and all you can do is stare back at her, she knows it's done. She knows that she shouldn't have come to bother you, and that she was better of leaving things as they were, but she can't help but feel a bit of relief that you now know the she loves you too.

And as her hands begin to loosen from your waist, and a soft sigh of defeat leaves her lips, you do something that you didn't think you would do in a million years.

You cup both your hands around Ellies face, and kiss her with every ounce of passion in your body.

It catches her off guard at first, but she doesn't waste much time in kissing you back. You can feel the way her slender fingers grip your waist tighter, desperately pulling you closer to her body as you kiss her passionately, your hands going up to wrap around her neck, basking in the love that you could feel pouring out of Ellie, and flowing straight into you.

She feels like her head is spinning, because she was sure she wouldn't ever feel your soft lips pressed against hers. You were the one that got away, and she had already made peace with that. But you were kissing her, and the passion was growing by the second, and you were slowly pushing her back towards the bed, and suddenly she has you again.

It's all a blur, because one moment you were yelling at Ellie, crying to her about how heart broken you were. Then she was apologizing to you, begging for your forgiveness, and now she's laying on your bed, with you straddling her as you kiss her passionately, slowly, simply enjoying the taste of each others mouths. Ellie's hands are roaming your body, squeezing your thighs, your middle, every where she can possibly touch you, she is. The kissing is slow, and sensual, and the sound of your tongues lapping against one another makes all of the heat in your body rush to your core.

Ellie groans softly when you break the kiss, opening her mouth to complain and pull you back to where she needed you the most, yet her words are dying down once she notices that you begin to kiss down her body.

You push her t shirt up a bit, kissing her hips gently before you settle between her legs, humming softly as you begin to undo the button of her jeans and tug them down her body. This makes Ellie frown, because as much as she can feel her aching clit throb at the mere thought of having your mouth on her cunt, she knows she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve to have you there, so she props herself up on her palms, and tries to close her legs.

"Baby...wait...you don't have to-" You quickly cut her off, tugging her jeans more before you shake your head. "I've dreamed about doing this to you for years...please" you whine softly, staring up at her with wide eyes as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth. Ellie isn't strong enough for this, because you're settled between her legs, giving her the sweetest puppy dog eyes, biting down on your plush lips, and begging to eat her out. She knows she should be worshiping you, but god you are hard to say no to.

She simply raises her hips, aiding you in tugging her jeans off. She chuckles softly when she sees the way your eyes glimmer with excitement when she does this. You hum softly, leaning into her clothed core and pressing a soft kiss to it, the wet patch making you hum softly against her. "So pretty..." you hum softly, more so to yourself than her before you tug her panties to the side, far too eager to be faced with the job of taking them off.

You waste no time in pressing your lips to her soaked pussy, which forces Ellie to moan softly, her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure as she stares down at you, wanting to burn the image of you eating her pussy in her brain for the rest of her life. Your tongue pushes past your lips, lapping at her core, circling her clit, and it makes Ellie feel like she's going to lose her mind.

She feels her chest burn with a tinge of jealousy, because how the hell are you so good at that?

Your tongue pushing into her drooling hole makes all of those thoughts leave her mind instantly, and she's throwing back her head, moaning loudly for you as you begin to practically tongue fuck her.

"Ahhh...such a good fucking girl...eating my pussy so good..." her praises go straight to your core, forcing you to whine softly against her pussy. Ellie groans, her tattooed hand going to your head, keeping you close as she begins grinding against your face. "Mm..f-fuck...thats my fucking girl...fuck....wait...wait..Im close" she groans softly, trying to pull your mouth away from her. You don't budge though, eager to taste her release. You whine softly, your tongue rapidly moving against her clit. It makes Ellie groan, her eyebrows furrowing as she desperately began to shy away from your mouth, shaking her head as she tried catching her breath. "Slow down baby..I don't...I wanna cum with you..." She explains, and her heart breaks as you pout up at her, clearly displeased with her for not allowing you to finish playing with her pussy. It makes Ellie chuckle, and she slowly begins to pull you up, humming as she lets you straddle her lap. "Don't pout at me that way, baby...wanna do this right" She explained, looking up at you with hearts in her eyes, glimmering with adoration like a love sick puppy.

Her stare makes you whine softly, and her hand comes up to cup your cheek gently. "Will you let me make love to you? Is that okay?" She questioned, her voice low and soft, giving you full control of the situation, determining whether or not this would go any further.

And for a moment, you questioned what was best. You could have stopped this, crawled off of Ellies body and send her home, telling her that this was a mistake, and you should just stop being friends right then and there.

Or, you could simply let go. You could forgive her, and allow yourself all of the love you had ever wanted and craved from her, since you were a young girl. You could give into her, and let her love you the way you knew she could. Your heart still ached, and the scars that were left were still present, but they were fading, and every moment that you spent with Ellie, like this, in her arms, you felt as though she was exactly what you needed to feel better.

Ellie was mending your broken heart, and there was no way you'd let that go.

Without missing another beat, you give Ellie a soft nod before you leaned in, pressing the softest, sweetest kiss to her mouth. It makes her groan softly, because what did she ever do to deserve someone so soft, so forgiving, so fucking good.

She hums softly as she reaches behind you, undoing the claps of your dress before zipping it down and tugging it off your body, leaving you only in your panties before her. She gently pulls you against her body, your naked chest flushed against hers as she turns both of your bodies around so you were laying down with your back against your bed, and she was hovering over you.

She pulls back, sighing softly as her eyes raked down your body, taking you in like a work of art. She began tugging her own t shirt off, leaving her completely naked before you, before she reached down and snagged two fingers under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down as well.

She pressed her lip against yours, one of her hands coming down and grabbing your thigh so that your legs were spread. The kiss was sweet, and loving, and it made your head spin, distracting you from the way she began slotting herself against you, positioning her soaking wet core right against yours, the feeling making you moan softly into her mouth.

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you...my sweet girl.." She mumbled softly against your lips before she pulled away from you, straightening out her back a she stared down at you, one of your legs tossed over her shoulder, as she slowly began grinding her pussy down onto yours.

You had never felt anything like it. She was so wet, so soft against you, her velvety core slipping and sliding against yours, clit bumping against yours in a way that could only be described as euphoric. It made your back arch almost painfully.

Your eyes never left Ellie, because she looked like a goddess above you. Her features were so beautiful, the warm glow of the moon shining in through your window and illuminating them, so that she looked like something out of a fairytale. Her eyes were filled with love, her lips dragging against your calf, kissing you wherever she could as she stared at you, watching your every move, watching as your face contorted with pleasure.

"Look at you...you're a fucking dream...the perfect fucking girl for me" She moaned out, her hips slowly rolling, fucking her pussy down onto yours deliciously slow. You only nodded, whining softly as you grabbed her thigh, massaging her soft skin as you tried hanging on as long as you possibly could.

She smirked softly, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as she moaned again. "You're so fuckin' cute...my pretty girl..." her voice was so low, words so slow, dripping with lust, want, need.

Love.

She was getting closer, and so were you. You could tell in the way she started to speed up, her teeth grazing against your leg as she began to get restless. Her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure. "I...fuck I love you so much...I have always loved you so fucking much" she moaned out, and this pulls a long, drawn out moan from your lips, which results in an encouraging nod from Ellie.

"L-love you so much, Ellie...always have" you whine out, struggling to form coherent and full sentences as you became prisoner to the pleasure Ellie brought you. She moaned softly, leaning down and pressing her body against yours, your pebbled nipples pressed against her own as she caught your lips in a passionate kiss.

"That's it baby...come on...cum for me...cum with me" she groaned against your lips, her hips moving faster as she chased both your orgasms.

You moaned loudly, pushing your tongue into Ellies mouth, wrapping you arms around her neck to keep her close, and allowing yourself to let go as your orgasm washed over you. It was intense, and euphoric, and blissful, and it felt like you were gettin hit by a bolt of lightening, because you felt your heart blooming with a love like no other.

It was different from the feeling of a crush, or what you thought was a love unrequited. It was hot, and electrifying and it made you feel alive again, it mended any broken feelings you had before the night had started, and even before that, and it made you feel like you were complete.

Ellie groaned against your mouth, her orgasm lining up with yours when she felt the way you pushed your tongue into her mouth, needy whines telling her all that she needed to know, that she had gotten you there, and she had shown you just how much she loved you.

You both laid there for a moment, wrapped in each others arms, trying to catch your breath. Ellie held you close, brushing the hair out of your face that had stuck to your skin during everything, she gave you gentle praises, bringing you back to earth with her. Soon, you were both tugging your blankets over your bodies, the chilly air making its presence known as it nipped away at your naked bodies.

You laid there, tangled up in each others embrace, kissing softly, and laughing lazily, exhaustion slowly taking over you both. You felt in your heart that this was all far different from the night at the party. This was filled with passion, and love, and it all started from a clean slate, where you two began to once again understand each other.

And as you fell asleep, you knew for a fact that Ellie Williams, was yours.

[nadvs]

Okay I was thinking about a born from wal with the reader and rafe in the future after college maybe married or something with kids like I just want more of them

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

inspired by this ask! continuation blurb from the watch and learn series

Even when you’re arguing, Rafe opens and closes your car door for you. It’s a habit he started back in college after your first date and it stuck.

You step out of the SUV, both wearing scowls and semi-formal clothing, tension thick between you.

Your daughter kept you up last night. You’re both operating on just a few hours of sleep, which definitely contributed to your argument this morning.

You snapped at him about the mess he left in the kitchen, he snapped at you about how the mess wasn’t even a big deal, and since then, you’ve been ignoring each other.

You called him short-tempered. He called you stubborn. The babysitter arrived and the thirty-minute drive to your old college was filled with nothing but silence.

This isn’t how Rafe pictured Sigma Chi’s ten-year reunion. He wanted to bring the you that’s his best friend, not the you that rolls your eyes at him.

Maybe he was a bit harsh this morning. But so were you.

Being back on campus feels already feels a little like a blur, but once you step into the loud, full frat house, you’re disoriented. The nostalgia hits you hard.

Rafe immediately reverts into the loud, charismatic frat boy you fell in love with when he sees his brothers. You thought you’d have to fake your smile, still upset about the fight, but you’re genuinely happy once you’re around everyone again.

You make conversation and even though he’s mad at you, Rafe’s heart feels a little lighter as he watches you smile and chat and laugh with the guys you got to know so well over your college years.

He loves this about you. That you don’t let people see when you’re in a fight.

Sam shouts in greeting when he sees you. He stayed a good friend of Rafe’s after graduation, even coming to your wedding and your daughter’s first birthday party.

“He behaving?” Sam asks you, nudging Rafe.

“When has he ever behaved?” you quip, sharing your first smile with Rafe today.

“Can I steal him?” Sam says.

“Please do,” you tease. Sam laughs and pats Rafe’s back, leading him towards the back of the house to grab drinks.

You stand by the front window alone, looking out at the street, thinking back to how many times you walked up the pathway to the house once Rafe moved in.

Just a few feet away from where you’re standing was where he first propositioned you. I’ll let you practice whatever you want with me was what he said. And damn, did you two practice. You practiced until you fell in love with each other.

“How’s life treating you?” Sam asks Rafe, tapping his beer against his in cheers.

“Toddlers don’t like to sleep, man,” Rafe says. “At least mine doesn’t.”

“Neither did you back in college,” Sam laughs. “I remember seeing you two in the kitchen at four in the morning.”

Rafe chuckles. He remembers that night.

It was right after he moved into the house. You stayed after a party, hooking up in his new room, and ended up talking for hours in bed.

You eventually went downstairs, searching for snacks in the kitchen, whispering and giggling, waking Sam up, who was passed out on the couch.

Rafe had so much fun with you. He still does. Even the mundane shit is fun with you.

He hates that you’re in a fight. It’s stupid to waste time in an argument.

About ten minutes later, Rafe finds you in the living room. He’s holding a plate of food he made from the refreshments this year’s frat had set up.

“I shouldn’t have snapped,” he mumbles, holding the snacks out. Offering you some sort of gift has always been his favorite way to apologize. Well, after make-up sex.

“The mess wasn’t that big of a deal,” you say. All the irritation had left your body now that you’ve had time to cool down and reminisce about everything you’ve been through together. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, you were dramatic,” Rafe jokes. You nudge his shoulder with a gasp, albeit smiling.

“We’re both just tired, I think,” you say.

“You haven’t eaten,” he says, pointing to the plate. You beam at him, taking a bite of the food. You took forever getting ready and didn’t get a chance to eat breakfast.

“I prioritized getting pretty,” you say.

“You’re always pretty. You know you’re a total milf, right?” he mumbles quietly. You laugh and kiss his cheek.

“You hitting on me?”

“Do you even have to ask?” he says with a smirk.

Another frat brother spots Rafe and comes over to make conversation. Others join in slowly, forming a small group.

A few minutes in, Rafe checks his phone instinctually to see if the babysitter has called.

One of his buddies notices his lockscreen. It’s a photo of you asleep with your daughter on the couch, your lips pursed in the same exact way.

“What a softie,” he jokes.

You look at Rafe and laugh as he gazes down at the photo with a smirk.

Ever since the night of the Sadie Hawkins formal, you’ve been his lockscreen photo. At first, it was the Polaroid of you. Then, it was you sitting up in his bed, smiling and wearing his baseball hat and Greek lettered t-shirt. He kept that one for ages. Eventually, it was your wedding photo.

Now, it’s his girls, the two most important people in the world to him.

After the reunion, you get into the car and notice Rafe isn’t turning the key in the ignition. He’s just staring down at the wheel, chest rising and falling slowly.

“I love you, okay, baby?” he says. “I don’t say it enough. But I do.”

“You say it in your own way all the time,” you console him. “You’ve always been more show than tell.”

“Can I show you, then?” he asks, dragging a hand over your thigh.

“Rafe,” you laugh. “Where would we even go?”

He points to the backseat with mischievous blue eyes.

“Been a while,” he says lowly. His voice, his gaze, his touch… He hasn’t lost his charm, even so many years later.

Rafe is thinking the same thing about you.

You lean forward, kissing his lips, smiling at the man you’ve chosen to spend your life with, and tell him to find somewhere to park.

[number1mingyustan]

Habit (part i.) —k.sy

fuckboy!hoshi x fem!reader

Genre: fwb au, college au, fuckboy au, angst, smut

Warnings: kissing, cursing, mutliple orgasms, oral (f.), fingering (f.), protected sex, he's kind of an asshole but at the same time not ??

Summary: You're in desperate need of getting laid, whether you want to admit it or not. And it just so happens that the fuckboy from your Economics class comes knocking at your door.

Word Count: 3.1k

part ii. part iii. part iv.

_______________________________________________

(a/n: bittersweet made me realize i’m more of a mini series girl, so here’s a lil treat for you all)

“Soonyoung,” you frown with a sigh as you look through the peephole on your door.

The overly enthusiastic boy stands in front of your dorm with a brown paper bag in hand and a cup holder.

You crack the door open, peeking your head through. “What do you want?”

“I know you’re still mad at me, but I brought you food,” he smiles.

You close the door in his face.

“Please Y/n! I said I was sorry, just let me in. I’ll beg if I have to, but I’m going to drop these drinks if you don’t let me in right now!” his voice is muffled by the door.

“You can’t win my forgiveness with food Soonyoung!” you shout from the other side of the door.

“I got your favorite! Strawberry milkshake with extra whip and waffle fries! Please Shorty!”

Ugh you hate that he knows you so well. And as much as you want to prove him wrong, you’re hungry as hell.

You cave, opening the door for the boy. He rushes in, nearly dropping everything in his hands before placing it onto your desk.

He turns around, facing you with the brightest smile on his face. “Thank you for letting me inside.”

“Mhm,” you reach over him, grabbing your fries out the bag. “I’m still mad at you though.”

“Please Y/n, I’ve apologized like a billion times,” he pleads with you.

Last week Soonyoung ditched you to get laid. The two of you had an Econ project to work on and he didn’t show up on day you were meant to work on it. You texted him a billion times and didn’t get a response and ultimately ended up finishing the project alone.

He texted you later that night apologizing profusely because he was in Akari's dorm and forgot about your plans.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t completely out of character for him either.

You first met Soonyoung at a party. Your roommate, Nai started dating his roommate Seokmin. The mutuals brought you together one Friday night on campus. And although you usually didn’t befriend guys like him, the two of you worked great together.

You’d seen him around campus, including Economics class , but before the party you’d never interacted with him. The day after the party he changed seats to sit next to you.

You could admit he was attractive, yes, but that was really it. Soonyoung had… a bit of a reputation that preceded him.

He wasn’t big on relationships and he slept around a bit. He could commit to a friends with benefits, but that was really his limit. He partied a lot, which was how he met so many girls and had the chance to hook up with them. He did one night stands, but he also maintained his flings, like Leina and Akari. He maintained his grades well too, however his fuckboy tendencies still preceded him, especially in situations like this.

“I told you food wasn’t going to buy my forgiveness,” You dip one of your fries in your milkshake and take a bite as you plop down on your bed.

He frowns. “Please, I’ll never do it again,”

“Damn right you won’t,” you take another bite.

Truthfully, you’re not actually mad about it anymore. It was a stupid thing for him to do, but it’s been a week already and you’re not big on holding grudges. However, it is fun to mess with him.

“I give up,” he throws his hands up in defeat. “As soon as Nai came over, I knew you’d be here alone and figured I could win over your forgiveness. But you’re so stubborn I’m not even gonna bother anymore.”

“If you get on your knees and beg I’ll consider it,” you smirk.

“Are you being deadass?” he asks.

You giggle. “No, I‘ve been gotten over it. Thanks for the free food by the way.”

Soonyoung is silent for a moment.

“Seriously?!”

You nod, taking a sip of your milkshake.

“God Shorty, you’re so uptight I genuinely thought you were still mad at me,” he plops down on your bed next to you and takes a sip of his milkshake.

“I am not uptight,” you defend.

“Yes you are,” he takes one of your fries despite having his own. “You need to get laid or something.”

“Excuse me?”

He takes another sip. “What? Don’t act like I’m wrong. I know you’re under some sort of dry spell, it shows.”

“I am not under a dry spell,” you frown.

“Yes you are,” he laughs. “If you weren’t, you’d be more like me.”

“Bold of you to assume I want to be like you. You sleep around so much, I have no idea what diseases you’re carrying,”

“Hey! Have you know, I practice safe sex and maintain my 3.8. Don’t hate because you can’t get laid,” the blonde boy smirks.

“I can get laid!” You defend.

“I’m sure you can, you’re a pretty girl. You just like… don’t,” he takes another sip.

“That’s only because every time I’ve ever slept this someone it sucked” you scoff.

Soonyoung stops mid sip and slowly deadpans into your direction. “Are you serious?”

“Ugh!” you cover your face in embarrassment. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, it’s so embarrassing!”

He pulls your hands off your face. “Stop being so dramatic. I might be able to actually help.I’m kind of an expert in the area.”

You sigh. “Fine. I’ve only ever slept with 3 guys and the experience got worse between each guy. It was just like… I don’t know. I think I’m the problem.”

“I’m sure you’re not the problem,” he buts in.

“I think I am,” you frown.

“What, did you like… bite it or something?”

“No! God no! Nothing like that. It’s just like, none of them have ever gotten me there,” you admit.

“Like they’ve never made you finish?” he asks.

You nod.

“Then the problem definitely isn’t you, you’re just sleeping with guys that have no clue what they’re doing,” he shrugs.

“Yeah well I thought that the first time and then it happened twice again and ended up worse than before. Figured it had to be me,” you explain.

“No Shorty, they just suck. It’s really not that hard to get a girl to finish,” he shrugs.

“That’s easy for you to say,” you roll your eyes. “You’ve slept with half the girls on campus.”

“Okay first of all I haven’t slept with that many girls,” he defends. “And second of all, all those girls I did sleep with left satisfied.”

“I’m sure they did Soonyoung, but that doesn’t help me in any way,” you point out.

“Yeah, but I could help you out you know,” he offers.

Is he saying what you think he’s saying right now?

“You mean like…. sleep with me?” you ask.

He shrugs. “Only if you’re okay with it. No pressure.”

“Won’t that be weird?” you ask.

“It’s only weird if you make it weird,” he shrugs again. “I’m not asking you on a date Shorty.”

You frown. “Yeah I know that.”

“It would just be like a no feelings no rules thing, just me helping you out,” he takes a sip of his milkshake. “Can be a one time thing we both forget about if you really want.”

“I guess,” you think. “Okay,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

What? Are you actually agreeing to this right now? You know he knows what he’s doing and that he’s safe about it, but it’s the emotional aspect you’re not taking into consideration right now. Soonyoung is still one of your good friends and this changes everything… right?

He says it’s only weird if you make it weird, but it’s easy for him to say that. He’s done this before, and he’s good at it. The sex with no strings that is.

You trust Soonyoung and you know he would never hurt you. He’s doing this to help you, and it’s really a win–win no matter how you look at it.

He smiles. “Come here.”

He pulls you onto his lap with great care. His thumb strokes your cheek for a minute assuringly before he closes the small gap between your faces.

The kiss starts slow and gentle. Quick pecks turning into a longing kiss that grows more intense with each passing second. His other hand lay on your waist, thumb rubbing small circles on your side as he continues to deepen the kiss.

You kiss him back with the same energy he provides you with. Hands wander across each other’s bodies, touching clothes and skin.

He moves, pinning your body down on the bed under his. He hovers over you, lips trialing down your onto your neck. He’s careful enough not to leave marks, simply pulling down the strap of your tank top. One of his hands sneaks up your back, unhooking your strapless bra and tossing it on the floor somewhere.

"Tell me if you want to stop," he says between kisses. "Or if you don't like anything, at all."

"Okay," you breathe out as you allow your eyes to fall shut. You submit your body to him, putting your trust entirely into his hands. Your body relaxes and sinks into the mattress. He removes his lips from your skin, stopping to grab a pillow and adjust your body to ensure your comfort.

He crawls down your body, fingers playing with the strings of your pyjama pants before pulling them off and tossing them onto the floor. You're left in your tank top (that's really only halfway on) and your underwear. He kisses your inner thighs gently before hooking his fingers into your panties and sliding them off.

"You're so pretty, Shorty," he mumbles, more so to himself.

His gentle demeanor is gone almost immediately. His lips immediately attach themselves to your clit, licking and sucking on your extremely sensitive bud. You let out a hiss and arch your back at the sudden contact.

Soonyoung's never been one of those guys against going down on a girl, but holy shit. He's eating you out like it's his last meal on earth. His lips and his tongue are everywhere, spreading warmth along your most sensitive areas.

He concentrates mostly on your clit, stimulating the sensitive bud to the max. You find it hard to keep still, constantly squirming as he devours you.

He's monaing in pleasure as your taste coats his tongue. He groans when you tug at his blonde hair, only causing vibrations to rumble through your body.

He's slurping and sucking, thoroughly devouring you like his life depends on it. It's only been a few minutes and Soonyoung fears he's addicted to you already. You taste sweeter than he could've ever imagined and the sounds you're making are driving him fucking crazy. He loves that you're vocal too, it's only serving as encouragement for him. You've never made this much noise in bed and the fact that he has you squirming and moaning like this only makes him want to devour you more.

Just when you think it can't get better, he slips his fingers inside of you. One at a time he pushes his digits in, pumping them in unison to bring you more pleasure. He's moaning with you enjoying this just as much as you do, if not more. His hips are rutting into your bed sheets, cock hard and leaking with excitement for what's to come.

You're grinding against his face and fingers, each flick of his tongue and thrust of his fingers pushing you closer and closer to the edge. The familiar feeling is buliding in your lower abdomen, however this time you actually feel the coil snap.

It comes so quickly you don't even have time to warn him that you're cumming. Your body shudders and convulses as you ride out your orgasm on his face and cry out his name. He doesn't stop even once you've come down, he's completely smitten and pussydrunk. You have to pry him off of you as your body grows sensitive from the overstimulation.

When he finally pulls away, his face is dripping and his eyes only half lidded. It looks at though he's been placed under some daze.

"Holy shit Soonyoung," you breathe out.

You're panting, chest rising and falling as you try to fully recover from the incredible orgasm he just gave you and the second one you nearly experienced.

"Was that okay?" he asks.

"More than okay," you lick your lips.

You pull his head down so he's hovering over you. "Want you to fuck me Soonyoung," you whsiper.

"You sure you can take me?" he asks. He breath fans against your lips. Smells like chocolate from the milkshake he was sipping on earlier.

You nod. "I can take anything you give me."

He swears his cock just got harder. He didn't think it was possible, but you're turning him on like crazy right now. Who knew you could be like this? The two of you quickly scramble out of all your clothes before you find yourself underneath him again.

There's a gold chain dangling from his neck as he hovers over you. He's got another shiny gold package in his hand that he got from his pants.

"You just keep those on you at all times?" you ask.

"Kinda," he shrugs. "Never know when you're gonna need them."

"Hmm, guess it's not such a bad thing," You lick your lips. "I was about to let you fuck me raw."

His breath gets caught in his throat. "Shorty are you serious?"

You peck his lips. "You know I don't keep any on me, and if you didn't bring it we'd just have to do without it."

He nearly tosses the condom away but you grab his wrist and giggle. "Maybe next time."

"Oh, so there's gonna be a next time?" he asks, voice laced with amusement.

"Can't decide that until after you fuck me," you smirk.

He feels his cock twitch under the sheets. He wastes no time ripping open the package, rolling the latex onto his length aligning himself with your entrance. He slides the tip along your slit a few times before he pushes the head of his cock in. Slowly, he pushes more of his length into you.

This feels so... intimate. Even though you've been in this position before, you never felt this close to any of the other guys. They all sort of just stuck it in and went at it for a few minutes before they finished. They didn't really bother to make sure you were okay, filling you up inch by in the way Soonyoung is. He wants to make sure you feel him.

"C'mon Shorty, you told me you could take it," he coos.

Your eyes are screwed shut as you try to loosen up for him but fuck, he's big. It's been a while since you've done this and he's fucking huge. Nonetheless he takes his time with you, ensuring that you're comfortable as he fills you up.

Once he's all the way in, he stops to ask if you're okay. You assure him at you are and give him permission to move. You can tell he's holding back. His thrusts are shallow and slow.

You've already started to adjust to his size and you encourage him to go faster. It's like a switch in him turns on again because his hips rapidly pick up in pace. He draws his cock out of you, slamming back in and making you curse and moan his name.

"You're so tight Shorty," he groans.

Shit, this feels so good. He fills you up so perfectly. You love feeling the stretch of his cock, his length pounding into you at the perfect pace. His tip pushes against your walls and his thumb soon finds your clit. The stimulation from both is so good and you know you're gonna cum again soon.

You're sure it's something about the dancer in him. The way he fucks you so well. You feel so good around him, he doesn't ever want to stop fucking you. So tight, so warm, so wet, all for him. You're driving him crazy.

He can feel himself nearing the edge too. His veins are popping out of his arm as he holds himself up, gold chain dangling in your face. You can't see it though, your eyes are still screwed shut with your lips parted as he fills you with inexplicable pleasure.

You look so sexy to him. You're both dripping in sweat and he finds himself becoming more vocal as the two of you approach your highs. He's cursing over his breath, nearly catches himself whimpering at how good you feel. You're throbbing around his length, letting him know that you're just as close as he is.

Thankfully so, he didn't want to end the night without you cumming around his cock. His thumb continues to circle your clit quickly and it only takes a few moments before he's driving you into another state of euphoria. His hips grow erratic as his orgasm hits him, full force. He doesn't stop, fucking both of you through your orgasms as his cock twitches inside of your throbbing pussy.

He fills the condom and pulls out before collapsing on top of you. His body weight is crushing you and he's panting into your collarbone.

"Soonyoung! Get off of me!" you push his slick body off of you.

He rolls next to you on the bed, landing on his back with a soft thud. "My bad," he chuckles. "I swear I died for a second."

"Was it really that good?" you muse with a smirk.

He presses his palm to your face plafully. "Be quiet Shorty, you know that was the best lay of your life."

He's got you there. There's no denying that he absolutely just changed the trajectory of your sex life and rocked your shit.

He smirks, sitting up on the bed. "That's what I thought."

He rolls of the bed and slips his boxers back on before disposing of the used latex.

"C'mon," he reaches his arm out to you. "You need to get up. Gotta pee and shower."

You groan into the pillow. "No."

He lets out a breathy laugh. "C'mon Shorty, you need to."

You groan again, but he pulls you out of bed. Luckily you only share a bathroom with Nai and none of the other girls on your floor. He helps you to the bathroom and assures everything is okay with you before venturing back into your actual room.

Once you're all cleaned up, you walk back into your room with just a towel on, only to see Soonyoung pulling his shirt over his head. He's leaving.

“You’re not spending the night?” you ask, cocking your head to the side.

“Can’t,” he says as he adjusts his pants. “I’ll see you later though yeah?”

You nod. He grabs the rest of his things silently and leaves with a soft close of the door. His exit leaves an odd feeling brewing in your body. What the hell just happened?

_______________________________________________

this is part 1 of 4!!

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[cmthingssss]

Freudian Slip - Emily Prentiss X Reader (slight former Penelope Garcia x Reader)

A/N: Listen all, my writing is cringe, but idrc because me and my friends like it, and if y’all like it, I love y’all <3<3. Also, this is a WIP that I probably won’t finish because I have no motivation to write smut right now (in kinktober too) smh 

Summary: New to the BAU and FBI in general, you find yourself infatuated with one Emily Prentiss, an older woman who coincidentally happened to be your boss. After she learns of your past experiences with Penelope, Emily becomes ecstatic to finally get what she’s been craving. 

  WC: 1444

Fresh out of the academy, you had by some miracle gotten a job at the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI. When you interviewed it was with a crusty old man with no relation because of “internal politics” or something, you weren’t really listening. He seemed to like you, in more ways than one. Too bad you played softball in college, AKA you were uber gay. On your first day, you got to meet with the team and damn… you weren’t aware that a major requirement for the job was to be hot, like model hot. The Unit Chief, Emily Prentiss you think, was the hottest of them all. Besides, everyone knew you had a thing for older women, and they weren’t wrong.

For the rest of the day and well into your first case, Emily, no, Chief Prentiss she told you, monitored you heavily. The other woman Jennifer, had taken almost a maternal role with you, and it seemed to bother Emily slightly, or maybe you were being delusional. Probably that. It felt as though she didn’t trust you or welcome your presence into her team. You were determined to warm up to her no matter what it took, and you were willing to do a lot of things you weren’t exactly proud to admit. Emily… Chief Prentiss didn’t even acknowledge you unless you were making mistakes. You brought her coffee everyday for a week? Something was always wrong with it and she threw it in the garbage. Baked her banana bread? Apparently she was allergic, even though you witnessed her eat one on the previous case. Even when the team would have a group outing and you bought everyone’s drinks, Emily would pay for her own. That’s what confused you the most, you just wanted her to like you, but she seemed to loathe you. You resorted to giving her a myriad of compliments, which she typically didn’t respond to. Recently, you’d begun thinking about Emily outside of work, and the thinking turned into fantasies which typically ended with you on all fours and Emily railing the shit out of you. It also may have involved your not-so-secret mommy kink. Those thoughts plagued your mind, even when you were awake now, every time you looked at your… much older boss, you began replaying those fantasies. After being ignored again, you tried to go back to the compliment route. 

“You look amazing mom-mily…” SHIT. The topic of your most recent sexual fantasies just slipped out of your mouth without a second thought. 

“What did you say, agent?” Emily definitely heard you and had to use every ounce of control she possessed to not blush. 

“Emily. I said Emily.” You proclaim as the tips of your ears burn in embarrassment. 

“Wrong again Agent L/N. For the last time, it’s Unit Chief Prentiss.” She looked at you with fury in her gaze, and as much as you hate to admit it, that slightly turned you on.

Embarrassed now, you mumble an apology and walk to the SUV without another word. As soon as you exited the precinct, the profilers in Emily’s vicinity started howling with laughter. 

Reid was the first to speak up, “And that is what you call a Freudian slip.” Followed by a quick slap on the head with a folder of paperwork from Morgan who also began cracking jokes. 

“Enough you guys. Y/N/N didn’t mean anything by it, maybe it was an accident.” Emily stared daggers at her team from across the table. 

“First of all, Y/N/N? We’re doing nicknames now? Secondly, they did tell me they had a thing for older women. Ask Garcia, they hooked up once.” Everyone’s jaws dropped including Emily’s. Morgan looked as if he had dropped the most obvious information in the world.

Garcia had accompanied the team on this case and had walked in the moment she heard her name, but she was bewildered. “Hooked up with who??” 

“Y/N. That’s who. When were you going to enlighten the rest of us?” Emily inquired, attempting to hide her anger. 

Penelope’s face enlightened with knowing. “Ohhhh, yeah, we were really good friends in college, before I worked here.” Garcia coughed, “It might’ve also happened after, but that’s none of your business.” 

The entire team once again burst into laughter. “WHAT?! I mean… Garcia, that's unprofessional and you need to end it.” Now Emily was the one with linguistic turmoil. She had no response to your utter lack of professionalism and thought that maybe you weren’t as cut out for the job as others thought. She’d have to have a private, disciplinary meeting with you for this. 

Meanwhile, you were sitting in the SUV awaiting whatever punishment Unit Chief Prentiss had concocted for you. You had been waiting an upwards of fifteen minutes and were getting rather bored, so you decided to pull out your phone to doom scroll. A few moments pass, and your attention gets captured by a 5 Minute Crafts-esqe video. You become so enchanted that you tune out anything happening outside the SUV, which causes you to miss the fact that Emily was angrily stomping towards the SUV, and had already entered before you noticed her presence. At the sudden intrusion of your personal space, you gasped. She then snatched your phone out of your hand. 

“Emily… excuse me, Unit Chief Prentiss. What the actual fuck is wrong with you.” You said as calmly as possible with annoyance laced into your tone. You reach for your phone back when she throws it in the back seat. 

All of a sudden she got super serious, and your eyes were trained on her face trying to decipher what was happening, “Y/N we need to talk… about your extreme lack of unprofessionalism.” 

“HUH? I’m gonna need you to explain to me how I’ve been unprofessional on this case. If anyone was unprofessional, it’s you. I’m a new agent and you’re supposed to be my mentor and boss, but you’ve done nothing but demean me ever since we met, and I still put up with it every day. Do you not think I’m tired of it? I can be a bitch, rude, blunt, but unprofessional is not one of them, so you need to take a long look in the mirror because if anyone is at fault for unprofessionalism, it’s you.” You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before looking to her for a response. 

“I’m sorry Y/N/N, I shouldn't have been treating you like that. And I shouldn’t have been so upset about you hooking up with Penelope. It’s really because I think I have feelings for you and that’s extremely inappropriate on my part and I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way.” She actually just apologized to you, and she looks genuine, you’re not sure how to take it. 

“Well, you're just full of surprises aren’t you?” Well, there goes the vulnerability and rapport from that conversation. “Sorry, I’m not good with feelings, and since we’re being honest here, I’ve fantasized about you for weeks, which is why I’ve been desperate to please you.” 

Emily’s brows shot up at your word choice, but then she was emboldened by the comment Morgan made earlier. “Eager to please huh? We’ll see about that. I have so many things I want to do to you, but we can’t in a federally owned vehicle.” She let out a dark chuckle.

You attempted to hide your giddiness at her words, opting to nod wordlessly and allow her to take you wherever she needed. She sensed the tension that overtook your body at her admission of attraction for you, so she reached over and placed her hand on your thigh to calm you down. “You need to relax sweetheart. I’m not going to bite, unless you ask me to.” With that, you relaxed under her touch and laughed along with her. Emily began the drive to the hotel, the rest of the team in tow. You reached up and turned on the scanner to ensure that even though you were about to have the most amazing sex of your life, you needed to be vigilant about the job you came to do. 

After a short drive, you arrived at the hotel and muted the scanner. “So… where do we go from here?,” you asked nervously. Emily leaned over the console and placed her hand on your cheek lovingly. 

“We can start by going inside… whatever happens after is up to you.” You nod in agreement before getting out of the SUV and going to check in to the hotel. 

[ladyzayismultifandom]

3D

College AU: fuckboy!Jeon Jungkook x Reader Genre: smut with heavy use of mirrors

Warning Tags: mirror play, cunnilingus, raw sex (wrap it before you tap it!), creampie, and pussy drunk jungkook lol.

Description: Your friend with benefits wants to show off his new purchase and he knows just the right way to do it.

Minding your business and studying for your upcoming exam you ponder over what would really help motivate that burnt out brain of yours.

Too bad nothing was coming to mind. Or at all. It had been a minute since your guy bestie turned sneaky link back to just friends with benefits hit you up. It's complicated.

About a year ago when you were sophomores at a Halloween party a few drinks in the two made out in a closet during a game of 7 minutes of heaven. Your friendship with him has been questionable ever since. What your girlfriends don't know is that ever since then the two of you still hook up regularly. You just pretend it was a whoopsy but low-key if he asked you on a real date one day you'd probably say yes.

Sitting in your office your phone starts to vibrate. Speak of the devil. You pick up the phone "Yes, Jeon?"

"So if you're ready and if you'd let me" He sings

"Jungkook" You warn him.

"I wanna see it, in motion, in 3D" He continues. You look at the phone and sigh ready to hang up.

"Y/N don't hang up! I'm sorry" You smile and put the phone back to your ear. "Apology accepted. What do you want?"

"Now we both know that." Still smiling you close your laptop slowly backing up from your desk about to pack a spend a night bag. "Shouldn't you be studying? Finals are right around the corner."

"Can't focus but speaking of being around the corner come outside I gotta show you something." Shit. You shove some clothes in your bag and sprint to the front of your apartment complex in a big hoodie so none of the other students from your university notice you getting in Jungkook's Jeep.

You look at him up and down. He's wearing a black sleeveless shirt showing off his colorful tattoos with dark blue jeans paired with some nice Jordans. His piercings looked extra shiny today. Although you'd never tell him that his piercings made him cuter since he prefers to be called sexy you can't help but coo sometimes. You couldn't lie to yourself. He looked damn good. "So what do you want to show me?"

Back at his place you get comfortable throwing off your shoes somewhere and taking off your big hoodie. You look around the place still looks the same so what could he possibly have to show you?

"Come on it's in my room" He takes your hand with no hesitation and pulls you towards his room. Other than obvious fuck boy red LED lights he had on you did notice something different.

The ceiling mirror.

This mirrors oversees the entire bed. He must have done this on purpose. He already has a full body mirror facing the bed but you guess that wasn't enough. He needed something to confirm his ways.

"What do you think?" He hovered right by your ear. You had forgotten he was right next to you.

"I think you're ready for a onlyfans account." He pulls your back against his chest holding you by your hips. Who says I don't have one already?" Like butter you're melting into him already. Soaking in his scent. He kisses your cheek. "Let's make a movie" He whispers.

"Jungkook!" You smack his hands away, go up to the light in his room and turn the LED lights off. You always preferred the natural lighting from his bedroom window anyway. No neighbors to catch you fucking on the other side. Just the birds and the trees.

"Y/N I'm serious. Let's make a movie."

"For who? Your little fan club at school? No thanks." You plopped onto his bed looking at yourself in the new ceiling mirror. He laid down next to you.

"No just for you and me. Think about it." He got closer. " When you're away during the holidays I know you think about me sometimes. You could watch it whenever you miss me." You turn your back to him.

"Sounds like something more beneficial to you."

"Aww baby don't do me like that. You know the feelings mutual"

"Why don't you ask your other girls to do it? I bet they'd do all kinds of tricks for you on camera."

"Exactly they do the fucking most but you're... special. " Curiosity eats at you as you turn back in his direction.

"Special how?"

"You know what you want and exactly how to get it. I don't have to teach you anything or talk you throu-"

"What if I want to be?" You cut him off.

"You want me to talk you through it?" He grins, and your frown comes back. He takes your leg and wraps it around him as he slowly rubs your thigh. "You want me to talk you through it while I'm balls deep inside you? Is that it? You wanna watch yourself come undone on my dick in the mirror, baby?" His hands creep into your pants, slowly rubbing against that damp spot on your underwear. You let him take off your pants, revealing how soaked you really are. At the edge of the bed on his knees, he pulls you to him.

"So what's it gonna be, princess?" He kisses up your thigh, making his way to the point of no return

"Kookie" you moan. His brown eyes darken.

"I need a verbal yes, baby,"

"Yes! Hurry up!" You lean up on your elbows to look at him but not for long as he dives deep, taking your breath away. "Fuck Kookie ~"

Looking up, you get a better view of the two of you. Your shirt riding up with you breast poking out a little. Suddenly thankful you didn't put on a bra earlier when he came to pick you up. Your panties on the floor, Jungkook on his knees, face deep in your pussy. Something about the sight of yourself getting eaten out turned you on more than the act itself. Suddenly, you felt empathy for Narcissius. Looking this good while getting fucked how could you not fall in love with yourself?

Looking into the mirror in front of the bed, you could see just how wet you were getting. To keep from your legs shaking so much, Jungkook held your legs apart. His gently kissed your clit before looking up at you with honey glazed eyes full of lust.

"Enjoying the view?" His voice brought you out of your bliss. When did he take his clothes off? Who cares.

"Come here. Now." You demand. Like a devoted servant, he comes at your beck and call. Crawling over you to give you what you need. He takes off your shirt the veil between the two of your naked bodies before kissing you. You can taste yourself on his lips. The sweet aroma of his cologne and his tongue gracefully gliding in your mouth drives you crazy. Your pussy clenches on nothing and you start to pant a little. You slop your hand between the two of you to relieve yourself a little, but he grabs your hands and put them above your head with one. "Not yet." He kisses your neck trailing down to your breast. You whine as he sucks your breast the overwhelming neglect of your pussy starting to piss you off but your moans keep coming as do you because as soon as he reached down and finally touched you a waterfall shot out of you.

"See, baby? Patience" You couldn't take it anymore, so with all your might, you pushed him and got on top. His dick sprang to life, ready for you. In one swoop, you sank on top of him. His hips stiffened, making a o with his mouth eyes closed, hands tightly gripping your hips. Satisfied you leaned back a little and ride him not really caring about pace just getting there. You looked up at the two of you. Breast bouncing up and down, ass never looked better, His dick disappearing inside you more magical then any trick you've ever seen while his hair starts to break a sweat keeping up with you. You couldn't stop it was like a dark sex ritual.

While distracted, Jungkook took your arm and pulled you down to him for another mind shattering kiss. You couldn't think when he kissed you. Your mind that seemed to always be racing went completely dark as he kissed you. Without pulling out he rolled you over on your back, wrapping your legs around his waist before he drilled you. Your hands wrapped around his neck, scratching his back as you got closer.

"Look at you a dripping mess on my bed. I don't think you've ever swallowed my dick like this before baby" He slowed down but that didn't stop the pressure as he pulled all the way out and slammed back in making you both gasp.

"Fuck baby look at you." You did. Under the mirror the two of you were a tangled sweaty mess. You would definitely need a shower after this. Watching his hips grinding into yours as you hold him tight was your breaking point. " Kookie I'm-"

"I know, baby, just come. I got you" and just like that you fell apart. Oceans crashing, eyes rolling back, holding Jungkook for dear life as he helped you ride it out slowly before he pulled out. His seed leaking out of you. Coming back to reality you looked at Jungkook as he sported that dumb smile that you lowkey love. "What?"

"I told you you were special."

A/N: HAPPY KINKTOBER!

[dearpyramus]

congrats on 100+ !!! i would love to see "can you please come get me?" + "delicately putting your hand on their back" with lip <33 maybe college!lip, and the reader is at a party and feels unsafe?

tags/warnings: overstimulation (not the sexy kind), reader is implied to be neurodivergent, soft!lip, college!lip and reader, pining

a/n: sorry I got a bit carried away LMAO. tysm for ur request I enjoyed writing this a lot.

(fic btc)

Your friends had invited you to some frat party and you made the mistake of agreeing to go. 

The music wasn’t your vibe, the beer was sub-par, and your friends ended up ditching you. At one point you went to go to the bathroom to find that they basically left without you. 

Some fucking friends, you thought. You can’t say you were surprised, though. In all honesty, you only went because you had nothing else to do. Anything to procrastinate on your schoolwork during a Friday night, you thought.

Suddenly, the music started getting louder, as if someone was fiddling with the volume. The crowd of people seemed to get more congested by the minute; strangers shoving past you in a drunken haze. You felt like too much was happening at once. You need to fuck out of there.

You didn’t even have that much to drink but suddenly the room felt like it was spinning. Too many people. Too much noise. Too many flashes of lights. Your sense felt like they were in overdrive.

You skin practically burned as bodies pressed against you. You frantically begin searching for your friends. Your calls to them proved fickle as it was drowned out by the music and clamoring of people. 

You knew it was coming again right when you felt your breath catch in your throat. You need to get the fuck out.

You pushed your way through the crowd, each contact with a stranger burning through your skin. You hated how easily overwhelmed you got in situations like this. More importantly you hated your friends for ditching you.

You all but flopped down on the steps outside, trying to calm yourself. You knew you wanted to go home, but didn’t bring a car. Uber was too expensive at this hour, not to mention.

An idea popped in your head. If it were any other day and you weren’t tipsy and overstimulated, you would think of it as crazy. He was studying for an important exam, you knew that.

The urge got the best of you, however, and you were quickly fumbling through your phone. You paused at his contact: Lip Gallagher. The guy you were hooking up with. 

Did this seem clingy? Probably. Was he busy? Yeah. But something deep down inside you. You didn’t know why. You didn’t think you wanted to know why. What you had with Lip was casual, nothing more. You didn’t dare to open those can of worms.

The abrupt cut off of the dial tone causes your stomach to clench. You couldn’t back out now. 

You sighed, realizing you were probably making a big deal out of nothing. Regardless, you needed an out. 

“Yo?”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You hated how much you needed to heat his voice. God, you felt pathetic. You swallowed your pride and willed yourself to choke out a few words, trying to bury the sensory overload that lingered.

“Lip?”

You mentally kicked yourself for that question. Obviously it was Lip. Before he had a chance to reply, you introjected with a shaky voice.

“C-can you p-please come get m-me?”

You cringe at how your voice trembles. Your right hand begins to fidget at the fabric of your shirt.

“Hey, woah. Is everything okay?”

You want to cry at how soft his voice is, something you’ve rarely heard but want to keep hearing. It feels like a warm blanket being wrapped around your body.

“My friends—“, you begin to pinch the bridge of your nose and try to calm down.

“They ditched me, I think. I just want to get out of here”

You feel you sound like a whiny kid. You go to choke out frantic apologizes before Lip shushes you softly, reassuring you that it was okay and he didn’t mind. He didn’t miss the worry and care in his voice, and told yourself not to think about it too deeply.

“I’ll be there shortly, just hang in there, okay?”

He stays on the phone with you, the comfortable silence helping you relax. You stay slouched on the stairs, the sounds of the party a background haze. 

You hang up when he arrives, the headlights of his car piercing your eyes. He’s sporting a button up over a long sleeve shirt, the sleeves bunch up by his elbows. You had to jerk away your eyes at the sight of his forearms. 

You looked down, fidgeting with your hands. He kneels down infant of you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulders. It feels warm.

“Is everything okay? Did anything else happen?”

You shake your head.

“No, just overwhelmed. Sorry”

You know you should probably offer more of an explanation, but you’re just so exhausted. Lip seems to understand, though, which makes you want to melt even more. God, why was he like this?

“Don’t apologize. ‘M sorry your buds are dicks”

You shake your head, not wanting to fret about that right now. He then stretches out a hand or you to take, helping you up. You try not to think about how protective his larger and calloused hand feels against yours.

He pulls away and you already miss the contact. You mentally curse yourself at how clingy you were being. Casual. It’s nothing more.

Your thoughts were interrupted when the hand that previously grasped yours moved to the small of your back. It was firm but gentle, guiding you to the car.

You kept trying to ignore how much your heart fluttered at that interaction. Lip Gallagher was going to be the death of you.

[braidlottie]

WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER.

part 1

series masterlist | gif credit | next chapter

you were finally home from school, with the weekend ahead of you. you got an insane amount of work done last night, just so you could take the next few days to relax.

kicking off your shoes and putting your key on the hook, you called for your mother.

you walked through the hallway, entering the kitchen and seeing your mother and another lady across from her with a cup of tea.

“oh, hello,” you greeted shyly. the woman just smiled and waved. “sorry if i’m intruding-”

“no, it’s fine, honey. i wanted you to meet lottie. she’s one of my friends from high school.” the woman went to shake your hand, you shaking back politely. “i’m y/n.”

“your mother’s told me quite a lot about you, y/n.” lottie’s eyebrow raised, your smile fading. “oh god, she didn’t show my naked baby pictures, did she?” you asked in fear, making her laugh and your mother roll her eyes.

“very funny. now if you’ll excuse me, i’ll be in the bathroom.”

taissa leaves the room, also leaving silence between you and lottie. you went to the fridge to grab a drink, gulping deeply before speaking again.

“so how did you and my mom meet?”

“we were in a soccer team together in high school. we were so close, the team had a beautiful bond. it was almost like we were stuck together with glue because we would never leave each other’s side. but then, college came around.”

you frowned. “did you guys end up going to different schools?” lottie nodded, taking another sip of her tea. “we all made plans to meet up during break, but no one ever had any time. then one day i realized i haven’t spoken to my friend in months.”

“i’m sorry, that must’ve been hard.” you tried to say something sympathetic, nervously scratching the back of your head. “you’re a darling, you don’t have to apologize.” lottie shook her head and lightly patted your hand that was on the marbled kitchen island. you looked down at your feet, then back up at her. she was totally checking you out, but you didn’t want to think that! she was your mother’s friend!

but..

her touch was so gentle, and her voice, oh her voice was so raspy yet so soft and warm, it could send you to sleep. you were so bad at making eye contact and part of you felt like she knew.

“what were you two talking about?” you jumped, hearing your mother’s voice down the hall. lottie’s hand left yours, just before taissa turned the corner, the same peachy smile she had when you first saw her. “oh just telling him about us in high school. your mother was the most competitive person i know. and still is.” lottie turned to you mid sentence, her eyes dark with lust.

“uhh, it’s been fun you guys, but i really have to study-”

“on a friday?”

“yes, mom. on a friday.” you hurriedly walked up the stairs, seeing the two women watch you from below.

finally, walking up to your room, you closed the door. you straight up lied to your mother, turning on your tv instead of pulling out our workbook. you just wanted to get away from it all.

you couldn’t get the way lottie looked at you out of your head. her eyes were practically burned into your brain, you couldn’t even close your eyes. her big brown eyes were still there, staring you down.

you got broken out of your trance when you heard a knock on your door. “can i come in?”

“uhh- yeah, sure.”

your mother came through the door, leaning against its frame. “i just wanted to let you know that lottie was staying over tonight. are you okay with that?”

your heart sunk. you had thought you wouldn’t see this woman ever again after today, and now she’s staying at your house?!

“uhh, yeah, no, that’s totally fine. that’s awesome, actually.” you smiled awkwardly, trying to play off the fact that you wanted lottie to absolutely fu-

“are you sure? you seem a little-”

“tired. i’m really tired, i might actually take a nap.”

“alright, well, good night, honey.” your mother kissed your forehead, you mirroring her smile as she walked out your room, closing the door behind her.

you face planted onto your bed and sighed. you wanted to go back down there and talk to her, but there’s always tomorrow, right?

[bordysbae]

Can I request either a Luca or Jack fic where the readers at a party with them and she just walks over and makes out with them as a boy was harassing her and she goes your my boyfriend now and then they actually date for real after that moment. Like that was her asking him out as well

“a little drunk kiss”

luca fantilli x reader

warning: creepy men, cursing, & underage drinking

not proof read so sorry if it’s confusing lolz

its your freshman year of college at michigan, and you and johnny druskinis have a class together. you both instantly became friendly, and you guys became quite close over first semester. of course this meant him forcing you to go to every home game, and also meeting the team. you’re stuck with a shitty dorm mate, and have no one from home, so considering johnny as one of your best friends is an understatement.

of course you’re acquainted with the guys on the team, but you aren’t necessarily close with many of the guys besides johnny and for some odd reason ethan and dylan. johnny’s best friend on the team is easily luca, so obviously one would assume you and luca are close, but it’s the opposite. you’re always so shy around luca, and he just gives you the same treatment you give him.

why you’re so shy around him is a mystery. a mystery to only yourself and luca. everyone knows how outgoing luca is, yet for some reason he gets shy around you and vice versa. this proves that there’s some underlying issues as to why you’re both so shy, and everyone assumes it’s because you guys find each other attractive. which isn’t necessarily incorrect, but neither of you would ever admit that to anyone.

as you tap your fingers on the side of your half full solo cup, you notice johnny getting up from the spot on the couch next to you. “where ya going?” you say, slightly slurring your words. johnny chuckles at your tipsy state, and pats the top of your head.

“i’ll be right back solider, i gotta piss” he says, calling you the stupid nickname that you have no idea where it came from. you nod your head and pull your phone out of your pocket. a few moments later the couch dips next you, and you assume johnny’s back.

“that was qui-“ you look up, and see one of the fraternity brothers sitting next to you. “oh, hi?” you say, confused what he could want from you.

“you’re pretty and you’re sitting alone. what’s your deal? you got a boyfriend?” he winks, making you immediately disgusted. you have no intentions of hooking up with anyone, so you lie. “yeah i do actually.” you smile, trying to be nice.

“oh shit really? who? where? i don’t see anyone.” he smirks, about to place a hand on your thigh. you groan and spot the only familiar face in the crowd, luca. your intoxicated and slightly scared self rises up from the couch and walks over to the luca. he turns his head to face you, and you turn your head to see if the guy is still looking. he is, so you grab lucas cheeks. “you’re my boyfriend now, okay? i’ll explain later.” you say, before immediately pulling him in for a kiss. luca is shocked at what’s happening, but quickly soothes when he realizes that the girl he’s been so desperately wanting to ask out is kissing him.

he kisses you back, before you suddenly pull away from the kiss. you trun around to see the guy from earlier looking at you both dumbfounded. luca doesn’t really know what’s going on, but begins to put the pieces together looking at the guys face. luca raises his eyes at the guy and smirks, letting him know he can back off. the guy leaves the room and you turn back to luca. now embarrassed, realizing what just happened, you apologize, “sorry about all that. he was hitting on me and asked if i had a boyfriend. i lied and said yes, and then he didn’t believe me so i had to go kiss you” you chuckle awkwardly.

“if we’re being totally honest here, i didn’t necessarily hate it.” luca smiles shyly, scratching the back of his neck nervously. your eyes open wide, and your cheeks run hot. thankfully the room is dim so he can’t really see them, or so you hope. “w-what?” you say, immediately dumbfounded.

“you heard me, y/n,” luca says, taking a sip from his cup. your heart rate increases and you’re at a loss for words. luca can see how he’s made you nervous, and usually the golden retriever boy would be panicking but the alcohol in his system is telling him otherwise. “did you hate it?” “no.” you blurt out, afraid he might take back his statement from a few seconds ago.

“good.” he says before pulling you back in. you guys both taste like different alcoholic drinks, and smell a little bit like sweat, but who cares. after a little bit of making out, ignoring all of the people surrounding you both, you both pull back and just smile. “so, you have any interest in being my actual boyfriend?” “hey! i thought i already was!” luca jokes, making you playfully hit his chest.

“i’d love to be.” he says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. you lean into his side, and he presses a soft kiss into your hair. you both go do a shot together to celebrate the impulsive idea, both knowing damn well that the sober versions of you guys will be so confused, yet so happy.

[stargazing-imagines]

Bad Idea… Right? — Jeremiah fisher x Fem!Reader

Description: you are secretly dating your ex boyfriend, but what happens when Jeremiah meds your broken heart?

Warning: jealous Jeremiah, mentions of cheating, bad writing, if there is anything else that I’ve missed! Let me know.

Fandom: the summer I turned pretty

Requested: no

A/n: I’m finally back with a new imagine! Life has been hectic, my schedule has gotten so intense to the point where it’s difficult to find time to write with edu practicums, dance, work, and college it just hard to fit writing into the mix but I’m back with slow updates!

“You seriously aren’t going to see him tonight are you?” Exclaimed belly

You two were currently in your room as you were getting ready for you’re date with your ex boyfriend, with belly sitting on the foot of your bed talking you out of this date.

“Look, he genuinely sorry for what he did…” you said “I promise.”

“Yeah but he cheated on you with a blonde bimbo last summer!” Said belly “don’t you remember that?”

Indeed you did remember that mere memory, everyone at the summer house were trying to cheer you up with nothing working, you spent the month of July in your room as you cried in misery. After catching him making out with a blonde girl, you swore off of guys for the rest of your life, until you saw him working at the little gas station on your first day back at cousins, apologizing for what he did.

“Belly that was last summer.” You said “he changed.”

You could say you were trying to convince belly, but you were trying to convince yourself, but hey. What can go wrong?

“Y/n don’t you look lovely!” Exclaimed Susannah as she eyed you up and down “what’s the special occasion?”

“Y/n here has a date… with her ex!” Exclaimed belly

“Wait… the one that cheated on you last summer?” Asked Jeremiah as he raised his eye brows

“Yes Jere the one that cheated on me last summer…” you said “besides he apologized.”

“Y/n I don’t think this is a great idea…” said your mother “you were so heartbroken when it happened.”

“I was 16 mom…” you said “besides I’m 17!”

“I don’t know y/n.” Said laurel “what if he breaks your heart again?”

“He won’t!” You said, you were interrupted with a car honk

“The dude can’t even be fazed to come to the door!” Said Jeremiah “y/n you are not going out with him!”

“Watch me.”

With that you opened the door and shut it

“Thank you for giving me another chance.” Said Brice as he held your hand “I was so heartbroken last summer when you left me.”

You smiled as you nodded along to what he was saying, but your mind was preoccupied on something else.

Jeremiah Fisher… and how you wish he was here with you on a date instead of Brice Hamilton.

“I’m going to the restroom.” Said brice as he got up, you formed a faint smile before nodding your head. He got up and left, a few seconds later. His phone lit up

You picked up the phone as you read a text message

The whole conversation on his phone was full of explicit messages to the same girl that he cheated on you with last summer, you looked up fighting tears in your eyes, you placed your half of the pay on the table before getting up and leaving

You walked to the summer house, heels in hand as you had smeared mascara on your face. You headed towards the pool, sitting on a lounge chair.

You stared into the night sky, looking at the stars. Your thoughts were interrupted with a door slam

It was Jeremiah

“Back from your date soon?” Asked Jeremiah “I thought you would be out till 12.”

“It didn’t work out…” you said, eyes not leaving the night sky. Jeremiah sat next to the lounge chair beside you

“He’s not worth your tears.” Said Jeremiah as he stroked your cheek with the padding of his thumb

“He’s been hooking up with her all this time.” You choked out, Jeremiah pulled you close to his chest, comforting you as he stroked your hair.

“Things will get better.” Said jeremiah as he continued to hug you

“You really think so?” You asked as you wiped your cheek with your hand, letting out a smile

“I know so.” Said Jeremiah as he smiled, you face in his hand

The night ended with a kiss and let’s just say that the relationship between you and Jeremiah blossomed.

——

The summer I turned pretty masterlist

[scullymaxxing]

the real x files

is were they fuckin.

and from my hours of research, scouring countless delusional pro-g*llovny internet users, i can say that you all would make shit detectives. specifically the g*llovny blogs that compare pictures of DA and DD's kids and try to argue that they've have some secret elaborate 30 year long relationship?? theyre not actually the characters they portray, u guys kno that right? right??

ok good.

so basically...

i think DD and GA hooked up in the beginning of filming, before they knew they have to see each other for the next decade (link to website). and then obviously by the time GA was pregnant (beginning of 1993) she was with Klotz. theres a reason most of the msr gifs are from the first few seasons...

Her and Klotz divorced the same year DD and Tea Leoni got married, 1997. The 1997 golden globes (u know the one), was in january.

DD and GA's "dark period" was a year later, 1998, and i feel like they could have regressed in between the time of her divorce and his marriage (this slightly dubious interview from 2002 with GA claims just that) (context: interview transcript with GA, allegedly translated from an italian paper in 2002. even discounting this source, it is not implausible, but definitely left to speculation). they were also filming the movie around 1997-1998, and im certain that they were around each other more than their partners at the time.

Marketing

given that a lot of the DDGA confirmed sources are from magazines, im gonna agree with the claim that DDGA was kind of not that secret at the time, as well as a marketing ploy. anything they said or did in 2008, 2013, 2016-2017 was fully marketing idc. the revival era interviews (including 2008 in this era) do show different stages of DD and GA reflecting on their relationship which is insightful and there are countless interviews where GA kind of hints to stuff, but they were all promos for x files (interviews linked below the cut). they certainty fan the flame, though. and while i am certain it was not by design, their chemistry in the first season, whatever the catalyst may have been, was a saving grace of the show.

the Industry

also, i dont think g*llovny shippers on the Celibacy Website have a realistic grasp on the television/film industry or the business of marketing and publicity. luckily, i go to a college full of people who do just that, and let me tell u, actors fuck each other all the time, and i dont think sex was necessarily sacred or all that deep for either of them... (as with most actors,,, have you ever met a film kid??)

some potential drama given this analysis that i think about:

did GA get with Klotz to make DD jealous, or to move on? or both? GA and DD had a "professional" relationship until her divorce? and then post-divorce was when shit got real...

i also think a big reason to deny the relationship (besides, like the right to privacy as a human being), is because of their timing,,, like she was married and had a kid by the end of 1994, what good would admitting to an affair during that time bring? i dont think DD is the father or anything, but i think even admitting it given the timing would have cast messy implications on DD, GA, Klotz, and/or her daughter.

did DD marry Tea after hooking up with GA in 1997 as an apology and commitment to her, or to move on? the timing is odd if that one dubious excerpt is to be believed, but even without it, it would provide plausible context concerning the catalyst of the Dark Times.

there is the detail that DD and GA announced their divorces on each other's birthdays, which is... a crazy coincidence.

i NEED to know about the "dark times"... i literally can not imagine Hating someone and then being able to look deeply into their eyes. i need to see bloopers or something.

overly specific timeline with sources below the cut (i never said i wasnt as thorough or meticulous as g*llovny shippers, i just said theyre dillusional)

1992: CC writes the pilot, it is picked up by Fox, DD and GA meet at auditions.

sept 10, 1993: s1e1 pilot airs. we can assume they have been filming since or shortly after auditions. They would have known each other and been shooting for at least a few months by the time the pilot aired.

1994: This clip from Entertainment Tonight that i suspect was filmed around the time they were filming S1, in 1993. DD: "ive spent more time with gillian than anybody in my whole life... so, you know, it’s.. you know, you gotta be careful.. somebody could get hurt." GA mouths "me." the whole time GA is trying to suppress some mixed but kind of revealing facial expressions. idk u gotta watch it, but it looks very early on in the series, and is the type of banter that people trying to convince themselves not to fuck engage in.

sept 1994: Gillians daughter is born. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, they probably werent fucking for about nine months before this.nine months before sept would have been around december 1993 by the most liberal of estimates

so they essentially had from whenever they met in 1992 until around the end of 1993, though GA probably would have been with Klotz for a few months before she got pregnant around the beginning of 1994

1994-1995 Interview: (sometime during season 2 filming, post pregnancy): In an interview, around the 8 min mark, GA: "at the beginning we [her and DD] started out very close, and, um, as you work together... things change a little bit. we have a very professional relationship, very business orientated."

post-2003: there are countless interviews with GA where she sloppily evades the questions. 2008 jimmy kimmel interview , 2009 interview , 2014 interview GA: “maybe... there might even be more than an attraction.. but it’s not gonna happen”

personal psychoanalysis of strangers, by a stranger

GA:

2003: in a BBC produced podcast recorded around 2003, GA talks about having lethal depression as a teen and engaging in rebellious/self sabotaging behaviors while in the US. (honestly, it makes sense why scully resonated with queer emos, GA was one!)

1999: excerpt where GA describes her attraction to “dangerous” (ie toxic, avoidant, noncommittal) men and DD definitely fits the bill.

GA’s dating and marriage history is kinda crazy and impulsive in retrospect. of course i know she wasn’t thinking about that as she was living her life but, she makes wild moves.

GA was also so so young and new to the industry. Hollywood is infamous for its coercive business tactics and Gillian sure knows how to play the game. (the crown) or "bc the director liked her".

DD:

2008: DD sex addiction. and he probably thought with his dick and had very lose ideas about relationships for years before he came out with the addition. (like maybe 10 or 20 years of giving into the same self sabotaging behavior patters) tbh he 100% fits the fuckboy profile, he was just a Man in the 90's and none of the gen-z g*llovny sh*ppers are used to seeing a Classic Fuckboy.

u guys guys see too much mulder in DD. DD is an intelligent, rich, NYC jew who went to TWO ivy league schools.... youre a young, handsome, educated actor who just got signed onto his first pilot... thats gotta make a man bold and impulsive.

at present, he is a rich boomer podcaster engaged to someone less less than half his age who looks like a guy who would call me a slur in the street. DD isnt the clever, witty, crimefighting mulder or hank moody or any of his charming characters, hes literally just some guy. same goes for GA, shes just a rich white lady...

[jjsmaybank20]

Bitchy is my Type Pt. 2

Leighton Murray x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader is a motorcycle riding, tattoos, badass type. What happens when there is a new volunteer at the Women’s Center who is just her type, but instead of getting along, they become enemies? But what if those hateful feelings turn out to be something more? Or Enemies to friends to lovers.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1.2k

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

navigation  the sex lives of college girls masterlist

---

There are many very unique people during poetry night. "Happy Father's Day. "Dad, "thanks for always protecting me from spiders, "from nightmares, from feeling respected as a woman." You snap with everyone else.

"My nipples are my own. But will they ever truly be free?" You hold back a laugh at the motion the girl makes while saying this. 

"Oh, beautiful, disgracious skies. For amber waves of pain!" Everyone around you snaps aggressively in agreement. You hear Leighton call out, “Yeah.” Then you hear Alicia berate her. “Leighton, stop filming people without their consent.”

You can practically feel her eye roll. “Yes, Warden.” When you turn around you see Leighton drinking another glass of wine. “Are you seriously getting drunk at an event that you're working because you were caught getting drunk?”

She stops to think about it for a second, before nodding her head. “Yep.” Alicia groans. “Ridiculous.” You are about to yell at her, until someone comes in front of the group and you remember that there are other people still there. 

The girl states, “I figure, if it's okay with you, I'll sing a few songs tonight. This first one is about a woman who deserves more love than she gets. Mother Nature. 

The meadows so cloverly 

Awakening my ovaries 

Awakening my ovaries” 

Leighton bursts out laughing and quickly runs outside. You follow her, making a mental note to apologize to the girl singing for the interruption. “Leighton, what the actual fuck? That's it. I'm not signing off on any of your hours tonight.”

She stops laughing instantly and whips around to face you. “What? Wait, you can't do that. I deserve double hours for sitting through this shit.” You look at her with an astonished look on your face. “Why? All you did was drink wine. And eat very noisy snacks!”

“But I was here.” Leighton whines. You shoot her a glare. “I don't care. You know, you just wasted three hours of your own life. Zero down. 100 to go.”

--- 

The next morning, you make your way into Sips. When you see Canaan, you go right over to him.

“Hey, man! Where have you been?” You ask him. Normally, you two hang out almost every day. You guys had known each other since the 4th grade, and you were inseparable. Practically brother and sister. “So sorry dude. I was going to text you. Econ has been crushing me and I asked for some shifts off so I could study for the finals.”

You nod in understanding. When you see Kimberly come in, you call for her to come over. 

“Dude! How the fuck do you put up with Leighton? She is the most entitled person I have ever met, and that's saying something. I have dated a lot of snobby people, but she takes the cake by far.” Kimberly gives me a look before saying, “Look. Yes, Leighton is a lot, and yes, she can be very entitled, but she is super sweet once you get to know her.” 

You shoot her an unbelieving look before you hear Lila call for you. “Y/N! Bring those big, strong, lesbian muscles over here to lift these boxes for me! I just got my nails done.”

You roll your eyes before walking over towards her. “I told you not to call them that. Just call them my muscles please.” Lila smirks at you before saying, “If I was gay, I would hook up with you just for the abs.” You snort before lifting up the five boxes she wanted you to move. “YAS! LESBIAN MUSCLES!”

---

Later that day, you were cleaning up the Women’s Center with Leighton. While you were actually cleaning, she was sitting and looking at her phone. Suddenly she says, “Look, I know you're in charge or whatever, but I really think it would benefit you to take things a little less seriously.”

You grunt out, “Oh, it would, huh?” while trying to put away a folding table. Leighton puts her phone down dramatically on the chair she is sitting on. “Yeah, okay. Like, if you didn't notice the song that girl sang was beyond terrible, then I am genuinely kind of worried about you.”

Before you can stop yourself, you let out a laugh. “Of course, I knew it was terrible. If she was good, she wouldn't be playing at the Women's Center!” Leighton gives you a “no duh” look before exclaiming, “Uh, yes. I agree!”

You pause what you're doing and turn towards the blond girl. “Okay, look. Some of these people are really fucking annoying. Doesn’t mean I say it to their face. Instead, I smile and cheer them on, and then mock them privately. Maybe give that a shot.”

Leighton sighs and throws her head back. “All right. All right, I will try to be less of a, um– Oh, God. What did you call it?” At the same time you both say, “A dumb, cis bitch.” You chuckle, finding the nickname you had come up with hilarious. Leighton nods with a strained look on her face. “Right. That’s the one.”

You just shrug and go back to trying to force a folding table to fold. “It’s true, you sounded like one. You know, it might be hard to stop. Just wait till it’s October, when Ginger starts her shit about her coven.” Leighton freezes for a second before violently asking, “What the fuck is a coven?”

The light laugh that you let out is enough to make the aggressive look on Leighton’s face melt almost instantly. You don’t notice, and you go back to your work as if nothing had happened.

---

Once you finish up, you offer to give Leighton a ride to her dorm on your motorcycle. She accepts hesitantly, but you assure her that it is completely safe. When you hop on, she pauses and looks at the bike worriedly.

You let out a sigh and say, “Come on, Leighton. I haven’t got all day.” When she finally moves forward and sits down behind you, you reach for her arms so that you can wrap them around your waist. She quickly pulls them back, snapping, “What the hell are you doing?!” 

You put your hands up in defense, quickly snapping back, “Calm down! Jesus. If you don’t want to fall off, you have to wrap your arms around me. Otherwise, we can’t go anywhere.” You can practically feel Leighton roll her eyes behind you before slowly worming her arms back around you. 

You try to ignore the feeling that you got when she did this, and you start on your way towards her dorm. She slowly but surely gets more comfortable and ends up putting her chin on your shoulder so that she can see where you are going. 

When you finally get to her dorm, Leighton hops off. She goes to walk towards her building before freezing and turning around. She calls out to you and quickly asks, “Hey, um. What did you mean last night? When you said me being straight hasn’t stopped you before?”

You freeze for a second, not expecting that question. When you finally snap out of it, you recompose yourself. You shoot her a smirk and casually say, “Well. I have a theory that everyone is at least a little fruity. I’ve hooked up with and dated quite a few women who thought they were straight. So, hasn’t stopped me before.”

You give her one last smile before speeding off towards your apartment. The question threw you off, but then you realized why she asked it. This was going to be fun.

---

Join my taglist!