#and then the bitterness she has when his priority relationship becomes his romantic one

[crabs-with-sticks]

I'm claiming Isseya for the aromantic community btw.

The line where she's bitter about her brother not being there for her like he used to be, because of his romantic relationship? Highly relatable.

That bit where she'd rather just be with Revas/the griffons? Highly relatable.

[mrsshabana]

𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞

ꔫ‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, age difference, angst, fluff, daddy issues, mommy issues, modern au ꔫ‧₊ Note 5k words. I want to thank everyone who was so excited for this fic, your kind words really encouraged me to write so much! I hope you enjoy it and keep an eye out for chapter two ♡ ✧:･ﾟ→ Part two ✧:･ﾟ→ Part three

This is the most exciting thing that’s happened in Gyutaro’s pathetic life since his sister was accepted into college. 

His life is nothing special really, and it never has been. Always taking care of his little sister was his number one priority so his needs and wants were always put on the back burner. Not like he had much of a choice anyway. With a face like that, how are you supposed to get anywhere in life? He’s thirty-five and has never had a romantic partner, but no surprise there. His personality is unpleasant and he doesn’t have much going for him. His job is alright and he can afford to support himself and his sister but that’s about it. 

By now he’s come to accept the fact that some things just aren’t in the cards for him. Things like a wife and maybe even kids. As he got older he found himself longing for these things more and more. Especially when he witnessed all of his friends getting married and starting families of their own. But now at his age, no woman would want to get with him, let alone start a family.

At first, he was mad at the world and everyone in it. It wasn’t fair that he was denied love just because he had a few spots on his face, crooked teeth, and was a bit rough around the edges. The jealousy and anger ate at him for many years, causing his personality to become bitter and cold. On the outside, he seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t care about love, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Since he grew up without receiving any love from his mother, it was always something that he craved, even as an adult.

But he grew up, and he had no choice but to realize this was his reality and there was no changing it. It was hard to accept, but he’s finally come to peace with it. At least he has Ume, and honestly, he’s grateful for that. 

But now, you came into his life and things are beginning to take an interesting turn. 

You’re Ume’s friend from college, she’s a year older than you but you got to know her well in one of your math classes. Ume hates math so she waited until her senior year to take it, which she is starting to regret now. The only upside to the situation is that she met you.

Having gotten pretty close to Ume over the course of the semester, she would often invite you over to her place. You’ve heard her talk about her brother before but you had never met him since he was usually at work when you came over. But when you saw him for the first time, he wasn’t what you had expected. He looked a lot different than the image you had in your mind and he was a lot less friendly than Ume had described him. But even though most of the time he was in a bad mood, he’d be polite to you for the brief moments he was around. 

The first thing you noticed about him was how tall he was and how deep and raspy his voice sounded. It was oddly attractive, especially when paired with his messy black hair. You knew he was older than Ume but he didn’t look that old. The only thing that maybe signified his age were the dark circles around his eyes, probably from being overworked. 

Gyutaro never expected to get close to his little sister’s best friend. It’s something he never would have considered, but your actions are causing him to rethink his stance on your almost nonexistent relationship.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

One night you’re studying over at Ume’s place again. The two of you sit in the dining room, with notebooks, pens, and textbooks spread across the table. Midterms are coming up so you’re trying really hard to get some studying done. Even though Ume keeps getting distracted and scrolling through TikTok.

You’ve almost lost your sanity with this study session when you hear the front door unlocking. 

Gyutaro, looking as tired as usual, walks into the house. Kicking off his shoes and throwing his bag on the floor. He barely even acknowledges you as he walks past saying, “Girls, can you please clean the table.”

“Mm hm,” Ume hums as she continues looking at her phone screen. 

He knows she isn’t going to do as he asks, but he always asks anyway. Today has been a long day and Gyutaro just wishes he could go to sleep but he knows he has a household to take care of. So he hurriedly rushes over to the bathroom and takes a quick shower. Coming out with messy damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. He goes straight to his bedroom, but you manage to catch a glimpse of him through the hall. 

The way his long hair sticks to his muscled shoulders and back distracts you. And even after he’s gone from your sight, the heavenly image is still stuck in your mind. 

“Will I ever get a break?” he thinks to himself as he puts on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, “As soon as I’m done cooking I’m passing out.” It’s only 8 pm but after another overtime shift, he’s pooped. Ume’s lucky he loves her so much, or else he would just make her eat a Lean Cuisine for dinner.

He doesn’t even bother to brush his hair and just heads straight towards the kitchen. But on his way, he’s met with something that surprises him. 

“You actually cleaned the table?” he says in shock.

“No, she did,” Ume points to you without even looking up from her phone. 

Gyutaro scowls and hits Ume in the back of the head with a rolled-up newspaper, “What’s the matter with you? It’s rude to make your guest clean!”

“Hey!! Cut it out!! I didn’t tell her to, she did it on her own!” Ume whines.

“Still, you should have cleaned it yourself,” he grumbles and throws the newspaper to the side, “Y/N, I’m sorry. Please stay for dinner, that’s the least I could offer you for helping my sister since she’s too lazy to do anything on her own.”

“No no, it’s ok! I don’t want to put more work on your plate -”

“I insist,” he smiles and begins preparing the ingredients. 

Ume pays no attention to the matter, as you admire her brother while he works away in the kitchen. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he takes a sip and sighs before he begins washing some vegetables. 

You sit there and stare at his muscles, admiring the way they move along with noticing the tattoo on his upper arm. The way his hair falls in his face, and he tries to push it away with his wrist while his hands hold ingredients. 

This is something you’ve never had before. A man who takes care of you. It’s something new for you, and quite frankly you’re a bit jealous of Ume. It must be nice to have someone who takes care of her like Gyutaro does. Especially since your father was never around, it feels comforting being in this kind of atmosphere with Gyutaro and his sister. 

The loud clattering of metal hitting the floor snaps you out of the trance you were in. It seems that Gyutaro dropped a knife because he had almost fallen asleep. You can see his eyes closing slowly as he shakes his head in an attempt to wake himself up. Even though you barely know him, the sight makes you feel bad for him. He must be so exhausted, yet he’s determined to make dinner for his little sister. 

“Hey, do you need any help?” you ask as you walk into the kitchen. 

“N-no, thank you though.” He tries to brush you off and continue cooking but you stop him, grabbing his wrist and taking the utensils out of his hand. “It’s ok really, you seem exhausted. Plus I like cooking so it’s no biggie!” You smile and try to lead him away from the kitchen.

“What? No! You’re our guest it’d be rud-”

“Onii-chan just let her do it! She’s offering, stop being so stubborn!” Ume chimes in.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a bad host. You’ve been nothing but welcoming to me, I just want to help out,” you lead him over to the couch and force him to sit down, “Everyone deserves a break once in a while.”

“But I-” his sentence trails off as he watches you walk away, not giving him any say in the matter. He feels incredibly guilty for letting you cook. But his body is too tired to fight it, and you no longer hear any complaints from him.

Looking around the kitchen you scan what Gyutaro had set up. There’s a pot of boiling water on the stove, a pan with oil in it, some half-cut tomatoes, a box of pasta, and an unopened package of meat. You can only assume that he was trying to make spaghetti. Luckily for you, it’s easy enough and something you’ve made countless times before. 

After about 30 minutes you have all of the food prepared. You make a plate for yourself, Ume, and Gyutaro. 

“Thanks, Y/N!” Ume exclaims as she finally puts down her phone and takes her plate. 

Next, you walk over to Gyutaro to give him his food, but he’s already passed out on the couch. The bottle of beer still in his hand, half full. 

“Poor thing,” you whisper to yourself, “Guess it’ll just be Ume and I for now.” You take the plate to the table and eat with Ume, opting that it’s probably best to let Gyutaro sleep. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

His stomach rumbles and his eyes are heavy as he slowly opens them, looking around at his surroundings. Confused for a moment as he forgot where he was. The living room is dark and quiet and he can’t quite remember why or how he fell asleep here. 

But then he looks over at the coffee table and remembers everything. His bottle is placed aptly beside a plate full of delicious looking pasta. Neatly wrapped in plastic wrap with a note reading, Enjoy! :)

“No way,” he mumbles as he tears off the plastic and begins to dig in. His eyes roll to the back of his head when the delicious food hits his tongue. Things taste so much better when someone else makes them. And honestly, he can’t recall how many years it’s been since someone has cooked him a meal. Five? Possibly ten? Either way, he savors the moment.

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

That meal has been on Gyutaro’s mind for days now. Never forgetting the taste and the gratifying feeling of eating a meal that was carefully prepared by someone else. It was amazing. And you’ve been on his mind ever since that night.

He told Ume to thank you since he didn’t have your number, and he really hopes she actually did it and didn’t just blow him off like she usually does.

As he drives home from work he can’t help but think of how nice it would be to come home to one of your home-cooked meals. It’s become a fantasy of his to imagine this on his drives home after a long shift. The thought brings him some comfort even though he knows it will never become a reality.

And just as he was driving through downtown he saw someone familiar. It was you, standing beneath one of the street lights as a strange man loomed over you. He appeared to be talking to you, but your body language looked as if you were very uncomfortable with the situation. 

The strange man appeared to be around Gyutaro’s age and all he could think was, “C’mon man, you’re too old to be doing this shit to a young girl. You should know better.” He rolls his eyes and pulls over next to the sidewalk. 

With a deep, tired sigh, he gets out of the car and yells, “Hey Y/N! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” 

At first, the sudden voice calling out to you startles you, but as soon as you see that it’s Ume’s brother you feel like you’ve been saved. The strange man looks over at Gyutaro too, giving him a confused look.

“We’re gonna be late for that movie,” Gyutaro smiles as if everything is normal and walks up to you, “Oh, who’s this? Do I know this guy?”

“Uh n-no, I don’t think you know him,” you say nervously. 

Gyutaro nods and takes your hand, “Sorry man, but we gotta go. We’re gonna miss the premier if we don’t get going now.” 

The stranger seems convinced and walks off as Gyutaro leads you back to his car. Opening the door for you, as he watches the man walk away. Making sure he’s gone for good. 

You don’t hesitate to get into his car, a huge wave of relief washing over you once you’re safely inside. 

As soon as Gyutaro gets into the car he scolds you, “What the hell were you doing out here by yourself?” His eyes scan your form, and he notices you’re wearing a short dress.

“I was out with some friends,” you say shyly, “and I wanted to go home, but everyone else wanted to stay out…” 

He sighs and starts the car, “You can’t walk around like that, creepy guys are gonna flock towards you. It’s dangerous.”

“I know, I was so stupid for doing that… B-but thank you so much for helping me, Gyutaro! You really saved me there,” you feel tears well up in your eyes as you imagine what might have happened to you if Gyutaro never showed up. 

“Hey hey, it’s alright,” his expression softens, “You’re ok now, that’s all that matters. And from now on if you need a ride just call me, ok?”

“R-really? I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything…”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re Ume’s friend. I’d do it for Ume so I’d do it for you too. Besides, I work around here so it’s no big deal,” he smiles and hands you his phone so you can put your number in.

“Thanks. Ume’s really lucky to have a big brother like you,” you say as you finish creating your contact in his phone.

“I try my best I guess, heh if only Ume heard you say that. Anyway, where do you live?”

“Oh, right! It’s super close to here,” you type the directions into his phone navigation, “I really owe you for this, Gyutaro! What can I do to make it up to you?”

“Wh-what? No no no, you don’t have to do anything,” he gets a bit flustered as he begins driving towards your place. 

“Come on! You did so much for me, it’s the least I could do! Ooh, how about I cook something for you?” You raise your eyebrows and smile, trying to convince him. 

When he hears your plea, it’s like his prayers were answered. 

“... well, I can’t say no to that.”

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

The long-awaited day has finally come. The day that you will bring over some home-cooked meals to Gyutaro’s house. He’s been anticipating this ever since you promised it to him.

You come over holding tons of containers of food, much more than he had expected. 

“Woah, let me help you,” he says as he holds the front door open and takes one of the bags out of your hand.

“Ah, thanks. I didn’t realize how much food I made until I had to pack it all up,” you laugh and walk into his home. Placing the food on the table, you neatly snack boxes of prepared meals. 

“What’s all this?” he asks, a bit confused. He was expecting you to bring over a big container full of food, not a bunch of small ones. 

“I know you work a lot and stuff. So, I thought it’d be better if I packed everything up into individual meals so you can just grab them and take them to work. Less prep work for you. I hope that’s alright…”

Gyutaro is truly left speechless, unable to believe that you not only put so much effort into this but also so much consideration as well. Still in disbelief, he takes one of the neatly packed boxes and opens it up. Inside he’s met with a delicious meal separated neatly, and even a small dessert tucked into the side. The sight is beautiful, but the smell is what really makes him salivate. 

“Wow,” he smiles, “I-I don’t know what to say. This is amazing, thank you.” 

He begins to choke up. After so many years of taking care of his sister, always worrying about her needs, caring for her, stepping up and being that guardian that she needed, never once did someone stop to ask him what he wanted. Let alone go out of their way to take care of him. And for once, just once, he gets a taste of what it feels like to be cared for. Nurtured. And it’s a feeling he wishes he never had to let go of.

All of the emotions he’s kept in for so long finally pour out of him. Your kindness and consideration force his walls to crumble. And his eyes begin to water as he pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears. 

“Hey, are you alright?” You ask as you immediately notice that something isn’t right.

It takes him a moment to compose himself, “I-I’m ok,” he rasps, “Just… I really appreciate you doing this. It’s been so long since someone has done something for me…”

“Well, you deserve it,” you smile and try to comfort him by rubbing his back, “I can tell you work really hard. My mom is the same way. So I understand.”

“Thanks,” he smiles and quickly composes himself, “A-Anyway, I’m going to try one right now. It smells great.” He quickly tries to change the subject partially because he’s embarrassed, but also because he genuinely cannot wait to taste your cooking again.

The food still feels warm so he rushes into the kitchen to grab a fork, and he sits at the table and digs in. Immediately as the food hits his tongue he lets out a groan of satisfaction. 

“Mmph, ooh my god,” he says right before he shoves another spoonful into his mouth, “so good!”

“I’m glad you like it,” you smile and sit beside him at the table, “These recipes are super easy and budget-friendly, so I can give them to you if you want.”

“Please! Mmph, that’d be great,” he swallows another big bite, “Where’d you learn to cook so well?”

“I just learned over time. It’s always just been my mom and I, my dad was never around,” you sigh, “So I kinda had to learn how to take care of myself since my mom always had two jobs. I would always make food for us to ease her workload. And I’ve always enjoyed cooking so I never minded.”

“Wait, for real?” he looks surprised, “My mom was never around! Man, it fucking sucks doesn’t it?”

“So you understand how I feel!” you smile despite talking about something upsetting, “So, your dad was the one that raised you?”

“Basically,” he nods as he licks his fork clean, “My mom wouldn’t let my dad come around much, even though she wasn’t around much herself. I was pretty much on my own till my mom  died and my dad took us in.”

Watching him talk about his past, you get the impression that it’s something he doesn’t often talk about. His body language alone is enough to tell you that. But the two of you feel some type of connection having shared a similar childhood experience.

“Your dad sounds like a good man,” you smile, “I think he’d be very proud of you.”

He looks up at you, his eyes shining with a mixture of sadness and appreciation. “Thanks… he really was the best. But sometimes I just wish I could have had a normal family.”

“Yeah I totally get it,” you sigh, “That’s why I always told myself I’d try to give my future kid the best life I can.  I want to give them the childhood I never had…” You trail off, thinking about the future you hope will become a reality one day. 

“Exactly!” he shouts, “That’s exactly what I told myself too! I always wanted a family so I could do things right.”

He seems excited at first but his expression quickly shifts to one of sadness. 

“But it’s too late for me to have a family,” he continues, looking down as he opens up about one of his biggest failures, “Oh well, if Ume ever has kids I’ll just try to be the best uncle I can.”

“Why would you say it’s too late?” you tilt your head to the side, confused.”

“Y/N, I’m thirty-five years old. I’m too old to start a family… Besides most women my age are done having kids. Not that any woman would want to be with me anyways.” He frowns, being reminded of how he failed to fulfill one of the only dreams he’s ever had. 

“Why not just start a family with a young girl, like me?” You ask without completely realizing what you’re saying. 

“Wh-what?” his eyes widen, completely taken aback by your statement. Could you be insinuating what he thinks you’re insinuating? He’s not sure whether you’re just naive or completely delusional. 

“W-Well um,” you blush as you begin to realize what you’ve said, “I think you’re a really great guy. Any woman would be lucky to-”

“Get out,” he cuts you off. 

“I’m sorry-”

“GET OUT!” He raises his voice, striking fear into you to the point where you feel your eyes begin to water. 

You feel utterly embarrassed and ashamed. Just when you were starting to get close to him too, you had to say something stupid to ruin it all. Honestly, you have no idea what you were thinking. You will admit you did have a crush on him, so maybe your heart just got excited and took a risky leap of faith. But unfortunately for you, it backfired. 

Without another word you rush out of his house as fast as you can, balling your eyes out. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚. 

It’s been a few days, and Gyutaro has been ignoring your texts. They stopped coming after that first day, and even though he didn’t respond he still read them. Reading your apologies over and over. He couldn’t get the situation out of his head no matter how hard he tried. So he decided maybe he needed an outside opinion. 

He finds himself sitting at a bar, drinking a beer. Rubbing his rough hand across the stubble that’s grown on his face as he’s been too stressed lately to bother shaving. Honestly, he looks pretty rough. He’s caught up in his self-sabotaging thoughts when he hears a familiar voice call out to him.

“Gyutaro! How’ve you been, man?”

He turns around with a smile on his face, “Hey Kai, what’s up?” He stands and gives his best friend a side hug. 

“Gyutarooooo, do I get a hug too?” an annoying voice chimes, a voice that instantly gives Gyutaro a headache. This voice could only belong to one person. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited him too,” Kaigaku laughs nervously.

“Douma…” Gyutaro deadpans.

“What? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Douma smiles wide, giving Gyutaro a one-sided hug. “So, spill the details! Kai said you had some juicy gossip to talk about!” He says as he sits beside him at the bar, placing his hand under his chin and batting his long eyelashes. 

Kaigaku takes a seat on the other side of Gyutaro and mumbles, “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“It’s fine,” Gyutaro sighs and takes a drink from his bottle, “I really just wanted some advice. Just promise you won’t make it weird.”

“When do I ever make things weird?” Douma asks. 

Gyutaro just stares at him, thinking of all of the times he has indeed made things weird. 

“Come on man, just spit it out already!” Kaigaku nudges his shoulder. 

Gyutaro groans and slumps over in his seat, “Alright alright. So, there’s this girl-”

“A girl?!” Both of his friends say in unison. 

“Shut up!” Gyutaro growls, knowing exactly why his friends are so shocked. Because out of all of the years they’ve known him, he’s never once brought up a girl. 

“Anyway,” he continues, “There’s a girl I kind of like… she’s really sweet and we have a lot in common but…” he trails off, hesitant to tell them the truth, “She’s only twenty-one…”

Kaigaku chokes on his drink.

“I don’t see an issue,” Douma says, genuinely confused.

“Of course, you don’t,” Gyutaro mumbles under his breath. 

“How the hell did you get into this situation?” Kaigaku coughs.

“It wasn’t on purpose! I didn’t pursue her at all!” Gyutaro scowls, “Listen, she’s one of Ume’s friends. She comes over a lot and she’s been really nice to me. She even cooked a bunch of meals for me too…”

“And? Spill it, Shabana!” Douma pouts, getting impatient. 

“AND, we were talking about what we want for our future. I told her I wanted a family one day but I’m too old… and she said why don’t I have a family with a young girl like her. I immediately told her to leave. I’m starting to think maybe I overreacted…”

“Well, girls that age are very fertile!” Douma chimes as if his statement was completely innocent.

“STOP!” Gyutaro shouts, “That’s fucking weird, man! Don’t say it like that!” 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have invited him…” Kaigaku mumbles. 

“Hey, it’s true! I am a gynecologist after all, it’s just medical facts! And she’s right, having children with someone your age will be much more difficult and there could be complications!” Douma asserts confidently.

“The fact that you’re a gynecologist disturbs me,” Kaigaku says. 

“Me too,” Gyutaro adds. 

“Come on guys! It’s not as weird as you think. Why would it be so wrong to date her?”

“For starters, she’s fourteen fucking years younger than me! That’d be creepy right…? I don’t want people thinking I’m a weirdo or a creep,” he frowns, starting to feel like maybe he is a creep for even considering something with you. 

Kaigaku takes a sip of his drink, thinking long and hard about what advice he should give his friend. Especially since Douma is useless. 

“I mean, it’s not that bad,” he shrugs, “At the end of the day you’re both consenting adults. And since when did you care about what other people think of you anyway?”

“You have a point,” Gyutaro replies, “But she should live her life instead of wasting her time with an old guy like me.”

“First of all you aren’t even that old,” Kai rolls his eyes, “And second of all, she’s an adult who is fully capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to be with you, then she wants it for a reason. Maybe she wants a guy who is at a more stable point in his life. Who knows?”

“Exactly, Kai’s right. I see age gaps much larger than this all the time, it’s more common than you think,” Douma adds. 

“And besides, it would only be creepy if you were talking to her when she was a minor,” Kaigaku states, “Like if you’re an adult talking to a minor, then wait till they’re an adult to pursue them romantically it’s a little creepy if you ask me. But you didn’t even know her at all until now. So don’t worry man. You aren’t creepy or weird for liking this girl.”

Gyutaro feels a wave of relief wash over him as he listens to his friend’s explanation. It's the first thing he’s heard that actually made him feel a bit better about the situation. “So, you really think it’s ok for me to pursue her?”

“Hell yeah! Be happy, man. I know you’re not the kind of guy to go after a girl just because she’s young. She sounds like a really nice girl, and I’m happy someone finally sees what a great guy you are.”

“Thanks, Kai,” Gyutaro smiles, “Alright, I guess I’ll go for it.”

Gyutaro feels a newfound confidence overtake him. His friends are right, he shouldn’t be so caught up in the details when the fact of the matter is that a really amazing woman is interested in him for the first time in his life. And he cannot let this opportunity slide, as it may be the last chance he has at happiness. 

“Who knows, maybe she’s one of my patients!” Douma chimes in out of nowhere.

“Shut up, Douma! God, I can’t take you anywhere!” Kai growls. 

.˚₊┈୨♡୧┈₊˚.

That night you receive a text from Gyutaro, “Do you want to go to the botanical gardens with me this weekend?”

When you first read the text you had to pinch yourself in case you were dreaming. Why would he say that all of a sudden? Did he suddenly have a change of heart? Or maybe he’s inviting you out just so he can tell you off in person. 

You aren’t sure which one, but you’ve been so stressed over this situation that you’ll do anything to make up with him. So you hastily respond, “Yes! I’d love to :)”

Immediately you regret how eager you sound in the text, thinking that it might make Gyutaro think you're even more childish. But in reality it makes him smile knowing that someone is excited to see him for once.

“Ok. I’ll send you the details,” he responds a minute later.

Is this a date? That’s the only question that keeps replaying in your mind. A date with Gyutaro, your best friend’s older brother. The whole thing feels taboo, but you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t make you feel even more excited.

Taglist: @gyusimp @mistyychann @cherrysxuya @angelicsaiko @hoshigafuru @matsukaah @merryclaus @whisperhug97 @dawn-rays-dingo

(I tagged people who showed interest in my previous posts. If you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist just let me know. The next chapter will have smut so if you want to be tagged make sure you have your age listed on your blog ♡)

[artnevoa]

Any lore for your oc and her relationship w/ muds? 🥒🥒

AHAH oh god, it’s rough.

It’s like an enemies -> kinda friends -> friends -> friends with benefits -> lovers for a very brief time -> bitter exes -> coworkers and friends (with sometimes benefits) -> strangers

More under the cut

It’s complicated and nothing really ends well. They started out as apartment neighbors pre-gorillaz in 95/96-ish, and they HATED each other. (This takes place in London btw because I like to think that she frequented Rick Black’s Record Shack often. I know he was in Stoke in canon, but I also think Murdoc could potentially live in different cities or towns during his search for potential band members or his many questionable and odd jobs. At least right before Phase 1).

Until she went to one of his failed gigs and offered a cigarette to console him for getting booed off stage. On a whim, she invited him to her gallery show, which also was a failure because the gallery printed the wrong date on the flier. He was the only one who showed up because he remembered the correct date. They started hanging out, then fucking around until they decided to start dating. But it was an on and off relationship cuz his priority is to become famous and honestly he’s pretty scummy. Murdoc moved back to Stoke, and I think she’d move elsewhere too.

Eventually she dumps him for good and they go on their separate ways until he reaches out to her on D Day after getting arrested and tries to convince her to bail him out (he lied saying he was framed and he was just a pedestrian walking by LMAO). She does not bail him out. But she does hang around because she found out he has to take care of Stuart and she knows that Murdoc is NOT a reliable caretaker. She doesn’t try to involve herself too much though since they’re exes and it’s just overall weird for her. Eventually, Murdoc offers her a job at Kong Studios to be a storyboard artist since she’s been stuck working a couple of shitty minimum wage jobs and despite him being an asshole, he does care about her as a friend at least. She ends up taking the job but is only around for phase 1 and 2 because Murdoc’s inflated ego when he reaches fame is hard for her to be around. There’s a lot of tension between them (sexual/anger/sometimes romantic but that’s very rare) during this time while she’s trying to be professional and do her work. After the tabloids found out they used to be a thing and took that out of context photo, it really strains a lot of things because she didn’t want to be in the spotlight, especially as being known as his ex. She gets harassed by paparazzi and he doesn’t care too much.

There comes a point where she has enough and she got a great art gig out of it, so she leaves him. This is around the time when Noodle “passed” and the movie failed to happen and his whole band is falling apart. So Murdoc has this psychotic breakdown and flies to Mexico. All the while he’s in denial that she left him for good and keeps calling her phone to leave voicemails of how angry he is, how much he misses her, updates on where he’s at, etc etc. She never picks up and eventually blocks his number from calling. I should mention that during this breakdown, he’s convinced that she’ll come back and stick around like she always does and for some reason thinks she’ll meet him in Mexico.

She moves back to the states and goes to rehab all the while. They eventually meet each other again years and years down the line, but she’s married and he never forgot her. (Those love songs on plastic beach are about her). They never end up together, but at least there’s closure.

This is their dynamic btw. Out of all of them, they’re the most like Bojack and Diane.

[ladyravenjadethe2nd]

Spoiler for Part 4 of If Wishes were Kisses

I don't have a name for it yet, but parts 4 and 5 will be posted at the same time as much as possible.

Bet you though it was Killua? Nope Gon here with a Romantic comedy angle!

So his parents are Izuku and Uraraka and their relationship has just been a comedy of errors from day one.

It's actually a bad luck villain that finally gets caught at some point, but for years they thought every date being ruined was just chance.

Shouto thought they were cursed.

(This was gonna be on their wedding day, but in Part One their was an option to have a free surprise wedding and Uraraka jumped on that.)

Also Izuku liked to do this thing every now and then when they were dating where he goes 'You deserve better then me! I keep missing dates for hero work so I'm a bad boyfriend! We should breck up!' and Uraraka likes to go 'Listen here you little shit. I love a man that works overtime. I'm also a top hero and work comes first for me too. We are gonna work ourselves to death for a big retirement while we are young! Miss me with this 'breck up shit' the only being broken is this months earnings!'

So yeah they are adorable, but the fic starts really very sad. You see Momo is pregnant with Killua and ever since Milluki was born Uraraka has had baby fever.

Milluki is 4 years older then Killua so for almost 4 years she has been trying and failing to get pregnant.

Insanely sad. She's telling herself she won't be bitter and jealous. She goes to the store to pick out a baby shower gift because she is good friend dang it!

She's literally crying over baby hats when she can't take it anymore and just shouts out 'I want a baby with Deku!'. When God or rather a small child heard her.

A kid maybe 5 years old hears her plea, runs towards her and before her very tired mother pushing a 3 seater stroller can stop her she has touched Uraraka's stomach.

Big flash of light and Boom! Baby Gon appears! Just literally appears easiest baby to be born ever.

He's also a super happy baby. Just a perfect delight in all ways especially compared to Hisoka and Illumi.

But while Uraraka is having Gon with no effort on her part Izuku is also gaining a child, just not an infant.

You see Leorio was born two years before Milluki, but he wasn't born from the great Class A or B. No he was born to a normal women. A fairly average OC who just so happens to be a con artist.

She's not the best mom, but has her priorities in the right place for Leorio to like her well enough. She's all about that money baby!

She also knows she's not the very best mother. She has a gambling habit she just can't shake and she's always finding trouble one way or another. It's not the best environment for a kid.

Luckily her quirk has kept her out of really big trouble because she uses it to fake her death.

So her and Leorio have done this a few times now, but never with a target as high profile as this!

Pro Hero Deku is on the scene too late! The poor women lies dying while her only child holds her hand and cries. It's a tragedy!

'Oh very rich Pro Hero Deku won't you take in my son to protect him from the evil villains that would do him harm! And set him up with a college fund while your at it! My baby wants to be a doctor.'

It's very dramatic. They have a lot of practice and poor Deku is swindled into taking in Leorio.

They don't really think he will adopt Leorio, but they do think he will throw money at him to feel less guilty about it.

Of course Deku does adopt him and of course after seeing that Gon is here Leorio assures his mother when she comes back for him that he is better off here.

Every year or so she drops in to make sure he's doing well. She's wanted in 13 countries and counting.

Anyways while Leorio is there and becomes Gon and Killua's favorite baby sitter Gon is the main character.

His time as a child is pretty great. He's having the best time with two loving parents and he gets to see Killua all the time.

While they are young his interactions with Killua is just pure fluff and his parent's funny romantic domestic life take center stage.

When they are older he and Killua will talk about Killua's death and how Gon had planned to come back for him.

Gon will forget to bring up that he made the wish. Also Gon's views on romance are pretty....interesting.

He loves Killua. Of course he does. Killua is his best friend and favorite person in the world. He's always known that. He's always known he wants them to be together forever.

They are together so nothing else matters...what kind of together? Eh, Gon just isn't concerned about things like labels.

Would he want to kiss Killua? Sure, but Killua blushes so much when they hold hands that it would probably embarrass him.

If you asked if they were dating he would say no because they aren't officially boyfriends, but if you asked who he was going to marry he would say Killua because duh.

Gon is uncomplicated like that. Very go with the flow on this relationship. Unconcerned with sexual things. They sound fun, but it hasn't come up.

Gon knows that he and Killua are soul mates. Meant to be in everyway possible and is completely certain Killua feels the same. There is no reason to like have a conversation about.

This makes him a blunt oblivious hilarious shit when it comes to doing and saying romantic things around Killua who uh...doesn't have that confidence.

It's great.

While the main focus is definitely romantic fluffy comedy as sweet as apple pie some other important things are going on in the background.

Like Gon is quirkless.

Izuku and Bakugou both get a nice character development to the face as Gon and Killua plan to be heroes together and this information does not phase them at all.

I love the idea of Izuku seeing Gon's easy confidence that having a quirk has nothing to do with being a hero and Killua's effortless choice to support him and fast defense if anyone says otherwise.

What's more though is that Izuku will offer Gon his quirk right before he goes to UA and Gon will say he will think about it. Gon will pass the exam without it and then while he's in a school a big villain will appear. One that's insanely strong and only someone with All Might like power could stop them.

Gon wants those kinds of fights, but he hasn't told Killua about his dad's offer and Killua says that he's relived that they won't have to face those kids of people again.

Gon remembers the Chimera Ant war and the quest to save Kite. Mostly he remembers how far he went for revenge and how much it hurt Killua.

The adults deal with villain because hell no they won't allow children to fight an adult's war again and Gon who has the option to take that quirk and fight with his father in that war, but refuses.

He choses to be a quirkless hero and he choses Killua.

I think the story will end their when the boys are about 16 though I may play with ages a bit.

[cyclaes]

Fic Ideas - Hamefura

Next on Update Pipeline:

small collection of omakes based in my “To Tell The Truth” fic, as well as the actual epilogue. 

Fic Ideas To Consider For Next Project:

Katarina/Geordo Adventurers Post FL Game-End

Despite all her work - despite what she hoped for - somewhere deep down, Katarina always knew it would end in exile or death. 

She didn’t know she’d be taking Prince Geordo along with her. 

((An AU where Raphael’s dark magic is more powerful than in canon, maybe boosted by the ‘scripting’ of the world, and Katarina’s condemnation event - despite all her efforts - plays out as it does in the game, down to Maria Campbell accusing her of ‘criminal bullying’ and the Student Council turning on her and sentencing her to exile. Geordo, however, manages to shake off the spell and, horrified at everyone at the Academy including teachers, guards and servants all under someone else’s control, goes on the run with Katarina by joining her in her ‘exile’. They become mercenaries/adventurers in the lands outside Sorciere, keeping incognito and never staying too long in any one town. This would be me experimenting with a different and more bitter and cynical characterization of Katarina. Currently wondering if/how Raphael even survives the lifting of the dark magic when everyone realizes Katarina and Geordo are gone because of him, and the Student Council in particular are reeling from the pain of remembering Katarina looking at them with fear and hurt. The Diekes and the other faction members definitely don’t get away from enraged Prince Geoffrey and Duke Claes.))

Mars Campbell AU

Edit: This is a Geordo/Katarina pairing

Katarina was prepared for anything when she finally left for the Magic Academy - ready for whatever route Maria Campbell chose.

She was not ready for Maria Campbell to not appear at all. 

She was not ready to instead meet the commoner boy with light magic and blue eyes, Mars Campbell. 

And she was definitely not ready for Mars to show romantic interest in her. Could it be possible that - she was the capture target, and Geordo was the rival character?!?

((Because Katarina is forced to rethink all her assumptions that this is the same as the FL world, since it clearly isn’t, she takes a second look at all her fellow FL-characters and has a few realizations. Also, worrying about Geordo being on a doom route means she a) realizes how much she does like him and b) she ends up working very hard to avert Geordo’s doom, not hers))

Verge of Doom dark AU

When Katarina Claes is eight years old, she hits her head and gains a fiancé.

When Katarina Claes is sixteen years old, she hits her head and gains an epiphany. 

The epiphany is: her parents actually love each other!

(Oh and that her previously-beloved fiancé is going to kill and/or exile her in favor of that blond tart, Campbell, but that can wait.) 

((OG 16-year-old Katarina with knowledge of the game, a la Verge of Doom, but with slightly different priorities, and a lot more ruthlessness than Bakarina. Leaning toward writing it definitely a lot darker than the main series, where Katarina would deserve the ‘villainess’ label. Toying with the idea of pairing her with a Nicol who’s been quietly adoring his prince’s fiancée from a distance, or a flirty not-quite-relationship/we’re-using-each-other-and-loving-it with Cezar or Sora.))

Katarina’s Future Baby

Katarina and Co. magically run into Katarina’s future baby. (Either a magical artifact activates on this end of the timeline, or the baby drops from a portal because an artifact activated on the future end of the timeline.) Baby looks just like her, so they know he’s hers, but not who the father is. Would feature Luigi and Miridiana melting over their grandbaby, Dan Ascart and the King quietly competing to see if they’re the other grandfather, and Katarina being unexpectedly good with babies. (Babysitting experience from the past life?)

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (mostly Naruto cause I read too many good fics in the fandom and now I'm in hell)

[Naruto]

Spirit-Touched by phooykazooi

Once upon a time, the Haruno clan were priests. It was said that they were spirit-touched, and that they walked among the downtrodden and the poor, and did not bow to royalty.

Or, an AU in which Sakura can see spirits.

Part 1 of The Realms Between

(Really, and I mean REALLY fantastic Shikamaru & Sakura friendship! Fantastic, beautiful writing, and such good worldbuilding, god, and the Haruno family is so badass!! Sakura and everything she does makes me want to scream!! Please read!)

Final Evaluation by Do_the_Cool_Whip

Progress evaluations are one-on-one consultation meetings between academy students and their teacher. Their purpose is to inform academy students of their strengths and weaknesses and guide them down their ideal path to becoming a strong shinobi. Upon graduating the academy and passing their jounin-sensei test, new genin return to the academy for one final consultation. (Or: The story of what happens when Umino Iruka uses his final meetings with his students as way to send them off to become the best shinobi they can possibly be.)

(Iruka! Is! The! Best! Teacher! Ever! End of story!!! Great interpretation of all the characters and their capabilities and I am so so excited for the sequel that will undoubtedly come! XD)

Celestial Bodies by Oceanbreeze7

Sasuke looked at the fire, eyes glowing red as the mutated corrupted seal on his throat. "Amaterasu blessed me. I see things. Like you with two normal eyes and the Hokage. And Sakura with a seal on her forehead. And I run Chidori through Naruto's heart. I keep trying to kill him. Over and over. And that knuckleheaded idiot never gives up.”

(Don't you get it? I saw it. The moon will bleed, the nations will die. The world is going to end.)

Part 1 of Celestial Bodies and Anomalies

(I swear, this fic freaking elevated my expectations on Sasuke-centric fics in general holy hell. Also, read the fucking sequel after this cause EVERYTHING GOES NUTS AND THE PLOT GOES OFF AND I'M HERE FOR THIS SHIT. Fucking Uchihas man. Also, you wouldn't think this series is funny, but it is, and it's amazing.)

A step to the left (and right off the cliff) by weavingBlue

Team Seven starts off on a different foot and Sasuke's canonical journey to get stronger goes off the rails a bit. It all works out though. Probably.

(This fic went in a direction I didn't expect and it's GLORIOUS. SO FUNNY, I honestly was dying while I was reading this. Please give this a chance!!)

promises by BombsAreForBabies

It's her first kiss and Naruto's last. She promises him that she will bring Sasuke home. It's his dying wish, after all.

(Naruto bleeds out faster than the kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura learns that being a ninja is more than fancy jutsu and fun.

Sasuke does not know that he just killed his best friend and turned his most loyal comrade into his worst enemy.)

(Listen LISTEN I know this sounds depressing but the relationship developments and slow healing is EVERYTHING and I think it's absolutely worth it to read this. Sakura's characterization is so good and Kakashi makes me want to hug him. A lot.)

Fang Under Fang by Vroomian

"Are we sure he's really an Inuzuka?"

(The answer is no.)

-

Someone reborn as Inuzuka Kiba not only has to deal with bullshit ninja magic, but soulmates being A Thing.

(Really good self-insert fic and its platonic soulmates, not romantic! I am always here for a good Kiba-centric fic and I won't say who the soulmate is. It's unexpected but so, so good! Trust me!)

Haunt The Lonely by Tht0neGal666

(Series where Sakura can see ghosts and the Things she gets up to due to this ability. The fics are short but man, you can already see the shifting differences in Team 7's dynamics, it's great!)

Perception by Ellie_Enchanted

Naruto can sense auras, which throws everything off it's balance. Because really, with someone as open as Naruto running around and peering into the depths of people's souls, something is bound to change. In other words, sometimes all that's needed is a push. Also, Sasuke apparently glows.

(Naruto the empath changing the plot and making it Better and I am loving it!)

Crossfire by DejaVu22

Following the events of Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke never makes it to Orochimaru's hideout. Instead, he is waylaid by a one-eyed man named Tobi, a man possessing a Sharingan, a terrifying dual personality, a penchant for always being late, and a single-minded mission to stop the Akatsuki in their tracks. When Sasuke runs into Naruto again years later, he must ally with his old teammate in order to protect him from the Akatsuki, while keeping him out of the two man war Tobi and Sasuke have started against the dangerous organization.

(I honest to god can't stop cackling when I read this, the Sasuke & Obito dynamic is so freaking chaotic and Sasuke's characterization is the best thing I've ever read. This boi is a mEsS and I'm fucking rooting for him. He cares so much! There's secret identity shenanigans happening on sasuke's end and it's HILARIOUS! This is the duo I never thought I needed but here it is! *cackles insanely*)

-

[Diamond no Ace]

Echo in His Hands by SportRayne (rayningnight)

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

What does it mean, when you remember snapshots of your own future?

Is it your future at all, if you change it?

Would you even want to change it?

(Look I am WEAK for BAMF Eijun and time travel fics and Miyuki being a tanuki bastard, okay? Time travel fic where Eijun gets feelings of people he knew before in the future. Really good so far and am so excited over this fic!)

The path we walk by WindsOfTime

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

Eijun goggles at the magazine she just shoved into his hands. "W-Wakana!" "I know!" she says, beaming. "That's my soulmate!!" "I know!!" "My soulmate plays baseball!!"

(Became such an instant fave so fast it's unbelievable. I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH! Best soulmate fic in this fandom, hands down!)

-

[One Piece]

switching places by fireflywitch

Zoro is 21 and wakes up in a desert they already saved, on a ship that they burned two years ago, and standing next to a man who is supposed to be dead. Except, that can’t be right, can it?

Zoro is 19 and wakes up on a ship that’s too big, next to a robot wearing a swimsuit, and he’s supposed to fight something called a Kaido. Also, he’s missing an eye, and no one’s even a little worried about it?

(or)

Time travel is a shitshow, and Zoro didn't sign up for this.

(FUCKING HILARIOUS ZORO IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEND BACK IN TIME CAUSE HE'D BE TERRIBLE YET FANTASTIC AT IT I CAN'T MAN FIEWNOPFEW)

No Time To Crank The Sun by VIKAN

He’s surrounded by strangers, but they’re all trying to convince him otherwise. Or, Zoro faces a mysterious and relentless challenge that he just can’t wrap his head around.

(This ripped my heart open, I cried reading this my god. Please read this, the pain is so worth it and Zoro and his relationship with his crew is so good here. This reminded me why I love the Straw Hats so much!)

-

[Fairy Tail]

to learn about a lucy (with a look into the future.) by るる凪 - nagi (arurun)

A watching the future fanfic.

It's currently X781, three years before canon. A group of Fairy Tail mages find themselves in a large building, with no known way out.

They sit down, and they watch the future.

(This is so much more fun than I thought it would be and I'm so happy I found this fic. This fic reignited my old love for this fandom and I hope it does for you too!)

-

[Harry Potter]

sunflowers by Marnie27

One day, a young girl sits on the edge of a well. On this day, she falls in. Then the next, she’s not even a ‘she’ anymore. He’s Peter Pettigrew — doomed to die at the hands of his (betrayed) friend’s son.

Peter is selfish, bitter and brash. He’s not some fairy tale hero, he doesn’t care if everyone around him dies, as long as he lives. The marauders are annoying and childish. Survival is his priority, and he can’t afford to face distractions.

This just makes the fact that soulmates are now apparently a thing all the more godawful.

(And then another day years later he falls into an entirely new impossibility, Remus Lupin in tow, right into the third book of Harry Potter. Smack bang on the other Peter Pettigrew’s grave).

It’s confusing and graceless, and entirely something that would happen to him of all people.

(Self-insert fic where a girl reincarnates into Peter Pettigrew! And there are soulmates! And it's angsty and hilarious and Peter is an Asshole (somewhat unintentionally lol). Always a fan of biased pov fics and characters slowly improving themselves and their mental health! Cause dying! Is! Traumatic! *smiley face* Please read!)

-

[Crossovers]

he's a killer queen, sunflower, guillotine by hoye

Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Harry Potter

He has to be the weirdest Hufflepuff Harry’s ever seen. Scratch that, he’s the weirdest Hufflepuff Hogwarts has ever seen.

(One thing everyone could agree on: NEVER call Edward Elric short.)

(This is peak Edward Elric and all the best things about him and I'm just having a Good Time. Friendships! Logical solutions! Marauder screentime! And so much More! *bright grin* It's a fun place here!)

[pumpkinpaix]

Almost every Popular Jiang Cheng ship is a case of Pair the Spares 🍵 (jc/nhs, jc/lxc, etc)

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

alas, despite my intense post-canon xicheng (friendship?) agenda (which you can read about in this post here!), I do think this is often true. i will admit i feel this particularly wrt sangcheng because i just don’t think their relationship is compelling in canon, not even between the lines. it takes A Lot of work to convince me that jc and nhs would be a good or interesting romantic couple, because i just don’t see them connecting deeply outside of their gusu schooldays. their friendship feels largely superficial to me, even during that period, resulting mostly from proximity and chance. it’s not that I think they don’t get along or that they couldn’t have become better friends later! but with the canon trajectory, i don’t buy it. i’d honestly be really happy to read modern aus with them becoming really good friends over time. or just like, with them as established friends! I like that a lot. romantically, though, I don’t think they’re a good fit either.

i think they have very different personalities, and incompatible priorities for a relationship like that. honestly, the one thing in canon that really gets me out regarding sangcheng is the fact that nie huaisang was willing to gamble with the juniors’ lives during the yi city arc. he deliberately lured a group of inexperienced teenagers into a very dangerous situation that could have easily resulted in their collective deaths -- as wei wuxian said, if they all died, that would’ve just been pinned on jin guangyao as well. regardless of whether or not wangxian were able to keep them safe, it’s still a net win for nie huaisang’s revenge plot. that group of juniors included jin ling, and i think that would be deeply unforgivable to jiang cheng. i don’t think they couldn’t have an interesting and friendly relationship as adults post-canon, but I think this is absolutely a line in the sand. nie huaisang treated jin ling as expendable, when jin ling is quite literally the only immediate surviving family member left to jiang cheng, and I do not think that’s an obstacle they can overcome. canonically, I mean.

in terms of personality, I think jiang cheng is much more concerned with propriety and respectability than nie huaisang is, and I think there would probably also be some level of disdain and bitterness within jiang cheng towards nie huaisang’s behavior regarding everything that happens in the present day arc. whether or not it’s justified is another question, but I think it’s easy to see where jiang cheng might find huaisang’s actions pretty out of pocket in proportion to what he suffered. jiang cheng lost nearly everything: most of his sect, his sister, his parents, his brother, ascended before adulthood, fought on the front lines of a vicious, 2.5-year war, and at the end of it all, was left holding a nephew he wasn’t even slightly prepared to raise in the midst of his overwhelming grief. and what did he do? he put his sect back together, he raised his goddamn nephew, and he hunted down demonic cultivators. did he do the best job? probably not, but he did try.

we know huaisang’s father died due to wen ruohan’s actions, but we know pretty much nothing about his mother. is she still alive? maybe. idk. but in terms of casualties of sunshot like, nie huaisang was Not the leader -- for all we know, nie mingjue sent him far away from the front lines because he was a weak cultivator to protect him -- the nie sect remains quite strong post-sunshot, is never ravaged by the wens (mdzs canon okay, don’t fight me on that one), and huaisang HAD a brother longer than jiang cheng even had his childhood. and nie huaisang’s reaction to losing his brother was a complex, fucky revenge plot that put innumerable people in danger and was very much unconcerned about whether or not huaisang was about to inflict the very same pain that prompted his revenge quest on others. imagine if jin ling had actually died. imagine the other juniors’ brothers and family’s devastation if they had died. nie huaisang behaved very cruelly in reaction to his grief, and I think jiang cheng would find that enormously selfish in some ways. like, bro, you still had a sect. you didn’t have to shoulder the responsibility of leadership as a teenager. you were not tortured by the wens. what in the everliving fuck is wrong with you that you thought this was the best course of action in response to losing your brother?

is this a fair judgment to make on huaisang? not really, but it’s the one that I personally feel like jiang cheng would make once he were filled in on some of the details. after all, jiang cheng has never really been known for being particularly fair with his opinions lol. all of that is also not to say that i hate huaisang! I think he’s a really interesting character, and one that’s a Lot of fun. i just don’t think he and jiang cheng are particularly suited to one another.

regarding what nie huaisang thinks of jiang cheng, i admit i don’t think nie huaisang thinks much about jiang cheng at all.

i have also been returning to my aro jiang cheng interpretations, mostly based on like, his list of qualities for a perfect wife, which reads like a laundry list of “qualities people have told me an ideal wife should have and also some qualities i see in my sister” as opposed to anything based in personal taste. jiang cheng is repeatedly shown to not particularly value the opinions or company of women other than his sister (lotus pod extra lol poor jiang cheng really has Zero game), and spends a lot of his time thinking about status and political alliances (see: how he talks about mianmian) as opposed to attraction. and i think that’s also quite an interesting angle on him -- after all, all of his important relationships are shown to be familial/platonic in nature.

anyways, this just became an impromptu meta on like, the nature of jiang cheng’s character, i guess, but one final thought (knife) that I have and have been itching to write into dialogue for like a year -- at some point, post-canon, when jiang cheng’s marriage prospects are really just like. basically nonexistent and he himself finds he’s not even particularly bothered by it, I want him to have a realization when he thinks back on his list just like oh, I see. I never wanted a wife. I just wanted my sister back. I wanted my family.

:’D

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[anitabyars]

"The heart, the raw authenticity, the original lens, this has become my favorite series of the year and I'm begging for more!" ~ Catherine Cowles, USA Today bestselling author

Bitter Sweet Heart, a steamy, reverse age gap, hockey romance from New York Times bestselling author Helena Hunting writing as H. Hunting, is now available!

From the outside looking in, I live a charmed life: hockey legend for a father, my own promising future in the league, a great family, awesome friends. It’s not untrue, but it’s not quite that simple either.

My dad’s advice has always been to make hockey my number-one priority—at least until I make it to the pros. So, going into my senior year of college, I have a plan. I’ll put in the effort required to pass my classes, play hockey like my life depends on it, and avoid relationships. All I have to do is stay focused on the end game, and I’ll walk away with a degree and into a career in the NHL.

It should be easy.

But when a woman literally floats into my dock, just before summer ends and my senior year begins, I can’t resist one last hookup. What harm could a one-night stand do? It’s not like we even exchanged numbers.

Everything is fine until I run into her on campus.

It’s a big school. I should be able to avoid her.

Except she happens to be in my class.

And she’s not a student.

She’s my professor.

Download your copy today, exclusively on Amazon and in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3MofZDk

Amazon Worldwide: https://geni.us/BitterSweetHeart

Amazon Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xt69KT

Amazon Worldwide Paperback: https://geni.us/BitterSweetHeartPB

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About H. Hunting

NYT and USA Today bestselling author, Helena Hunting, writing as H. Hunting, lives on the outskirts of Toronto with her incredibly tolerant family and two moderately intolerant cats. She started her writing career with new adult angsty romance and branched out in sports romance and romantic comedies that will make you laugh and swoon. But sometimes she likes to serve up a little heartache on the way to the happily ever after.

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My Review

5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Bitter Sweet Heart! (Lies, Hearts & Truths Series #2) by H. Hunting.

Utter Perfection! Page by page this brilliant, addicting, raw, emotional book consumed me. Infused with H. Hunting’s unique style, she weaves a sexy, forbidden love story, full of emotion, between these two broken characters with such finesse that I simply could not put this down and for me this is one of my top reads of 2022.

Maverick (Mav) Waters, is the son of hockey legend Alex Waters. With his college ice hockey career in the final stretch, all he needs to do is focus on his grades and hockey, and he will be rewarded with a degree and a NHL career. But then on one of the last days of his summer break, fate floats right into the dock he is sitting on, in the form of a beautiful, sleeping woman Clover Sweet.

This is Maverick and Clover’s story. Well written with strong characters, I was addicted after the first few pages. I fell hard for Maverick. He’s so protective and caring that every little action brought a smile to my face. I adored Clover she is just simply lovely, trying to fight for herself and put her past behind her. But what made this book one of my top reads of 2022 was the emotions they endured on their journey. It’s forbidden, charming and juicy and has the best banter. I swooned hard, smiled a lot, and savored the moments of angst that squeezed my heart until I had tears. The chemistry between Maverick and Clover is electrical. The heat level is incendiary, the heart even stronger. I could not get enough of them.

I am loving this series and I can’t wait for more! 5 STARS are not nearly enough for the journey H. Hunting took me on. Get in on this Utter Perfection today!!

Received an early copy and this is my honest review.

[oswinpond]

Even after the new film, which certainly popularized Amy/Laurie in a way I’ve never seen before, I keep hearing a lot of the same old arguments: “Laurie never stopped loving Jo”, “Laurie didn’t really love Amy”, “Amy was a second choice/consolation prize”, “Jo should’ve been with Laurie” etc. And a lot of these people claim this is book canon. As I’ve just reread the book, I’ve got a lot of thoughts on all of this... 

(Note: This is all purely based on book canon.)

In the book, after Amy harshly scolds Laurie, he decides to go back to London and work for his grandfather to better himself. At first, he thinks he’s doing it for two reasons: Amy despises him and that hurts him, but also the idea that if he does something “splendid” Jo may love him (or at least respect him, as Amy put it). 

So Laurie decides to write a requiem for Jo “which should harrow up Jo’s soul and melt the heart of every hearer”. But he can’t come up with anything because he keeps humming the dance music reminiscent of the Christmas ball in Nice which he spent devoting himself to Amy all evening. So then he tries to compose an opera with Jo as his heroine, but it doesn’t work. “He wanted Jo for his heroine, and called upon his memory to supply him with tender recollections and romantic visions of his love. But memory turned traitor; and, as if possessed by the perverse spirit of the girl, would only recall Jo’s oddities, faults, and freaks, would only show her in the most unsentimental aspects.” 

Jo no longer fits as his heroine, no matter how hard he tries. So he gives up on that, and his imagination promptly comes up with another heroine for him without even trying: 

“This phantom wore many faces, but it always had golden hair, was enveloped in a diaphanous cloud, and floated airily before his mind’s eye in a pleasing chaos of roses, peacocks, white ponies, and blue ribbons. He did not give the complacent wraith any name, but he took her for his heroine and grew quite fond of her, as well he might, for he gifted her with every gift and grace under the sun, and escorted her, unscathed, through trials which would have annihilated any mortal woman.”

While Laurie doesn’t realize it, the woman he’s imagining is Amy. Amy with the blue ribbons in her golden hair, who put roses in his buttonhole, who he watched feed the peacocks in Paris, and who he first saw again in a carriage drawn by ponies. It’s also a little prophetic, as he does escort the real Amy through future trials. (Bonus: at the same time, Amy spends her time sketching some faceless man who clearly resembles Laurie, but she doesn’t realize it either.)

Contrary to what some in the fandom would claim, Laurie isn’t at all forcing himself to love Amy just so that he can be part of the March family. He doesn’t even realize that she’s become the “heroine” in his story, that she’s the woman he’s fantasizing about. He thinks he’s doing this to improve himself for Jo, but it’s Amy that’s inspiring him. 

And then Laurie realizes that his feelings for Jo are disappearing:

“Laurie thought that the task of forgetting his love for Jo would absorb all his powers for years, but to his great surprise he discovered it grew easier every day. He refused to believe it at first, got angry with himself, and couldn’t understand it [...] Laurie’s heart wouldn’t ache; the wound persisted in healing with a rapidity that astonished him, and instead of trying to forget, he found himself trying to remember. He had not foreseen this turn of affairs, and was not prepared for it. He was disgusted with himself, surprised at his own fickleness, and full of a queer mixture of disappointment and relief that he could recover from such a tremendous blow so soon. He carefully stirred up the embers of his lost love, but they refused to burn into a blaze: there was only a comfortable glow that warmed and did him good without putting him into a fever, and he was reluctantly obliged to confess that the boyish passion was slowly subsiding into a more tranquil sentiment, very tender, a little sad and resentful still, but that was sure to pass away in time, leaving a brotherly affection which would last unbroken to the end.”

This passage alone pretty much puts to rest the idea that Laurie never got over Jo. He actually got over her so easily and quickly that he felt disgusted with himself, thinking this made him fickle. His romantic feelings are gone, and soon will leave only a “brotherly affection” when the last of the hurt is gone as well. Maybe he got over her so easily because he simply mistook his strong bond with her for romance, or maybe it was just a rash and immature first love that was never going to last long anyways, or whatever else... point being, he got over her.

And Laurie was actually trying, and failing, to rekindle any love for Jo (unlike his unconscious growing feelings for Amy, which he wasn’t pushing for at all). As a last ditch attempt to revive that love, he writes to Jo asking if she was sure about her refusal, and when she responds that she absolutely could never love him that way, he accepts it without sadness or complaint this time. He’s already over her, so there’s nothing to be heartbroken over. That was his closure. He takes off the ring she gave him and locks it away with her letters, and that’s that. 

And that’s when he’s ready to open his heart to Amy. He starts corresponding with her so often their letters are flying back and forth constantly. He wants to go back to her, but he doesn’t want to until she asks; she finally does after she hears about Beth’s passing, and Laurie immediately drops everything to go to her “with a heart full of joy and sorrow, hope and suspense” (and this is after he knows she’s turned down Fred, so we know what he’s hoping for now). Amy is his first priority after Beth dies, even though Beth was dearest to Jo. Laurie meets Amy in Switzerland and, without saying anything, they both know their relationship has changed. 

They spend weeks doing everything together and spend all their time out at the lake. Despite the sad tidings, they wind up being their happiest together in Vevey. They both know that they’re in love with each other without even having to say it (they really seem to develop an unspoken communication at this point). And while Laurie knows that she’ll say “yes” to his proposal, he’s still nervous so he puts it off to enjoy his time with Amy in Switzerland. He imagines proposing to her in the chateau garden at moonlight, but instead blurts it out while they’re on a lake in the middle of the day:

Feeling that she had not mended matters much, Amy took the offered third of a seat, shook her hair over her face, and accepted an oar. She rowed as well as she did many other things; and, though she used both hands, and Laurie but one, the oars kept time, and the boat went smoothly through the water. “How well we pull together, don’t we?” said Amy, who objected to silence just then. “So well that I wish we might always pull in the same boat. Will you, Amy?” very tenderly. “Yes, Laurie,” very low. Then they both stopped rowing, and unconsciously added a pretty little tableau of human love and happiness to the dissolving views reflected in the lake.

And there’s so much to say about this little scene. While he had to beg and argue with Jo just to finally accept her firm “no”, he just has to ask a simple question with Amy and he gets his simple answer because they’re on the same page. The rather blunt metaphor of rowing well together, even when he uses one hand and she uses two, is all about how despite their differences they work. They keep time. And it calls back to Jo’s talk with Marmee where they both agree that Jo and Laurie never would’ve worked, in part because their similarities would clash horribly in a romantic relationship (but mainly because , y’know, Jo never once felt a single shred of romantic love for Laurie). 

Now, I can understand where people come from thinking Laurie was “replacing” Jo with Amy with lines like "Laurie decided that Amy was the only woman in the world who could fill Jo’s place and make him happy”. I get how this can be interpreted as Amy filling in for what was meant to be Jo’s place in his heart. But it makes a lot more sense in the context of Laurie’s speech to Jo towards the end when he explains his feelings:

“I never shall stop loving you; but the love is altered, and I have learned to see that it is better as it is. Amy and you changed places in my heart, that’s all. I think it was meant to be so, and would have come about naturally, if I had waited, as you tried to make me; but I never could be patient, and so I got a heartache. I was a boy then, headstrong and violent; and it took a hard lesson to show me my mistake. For it was one, Jo, as you said, and I found it out, after making a fool of myself. Upon my word, I was so tumbled up in my mind, at one time, that I didn’t know which I loved best, you or Amy, and tried to love you both alike; but I couldn’t. And when I saw her in Switzerland, everything seemed to clear up all at once. You both got into your right places.”

Laurie didn’t settle for Amy. Amy took Jo’s place in the sense that they swapped places in how he saw them, from romantic to platonic for Jo and vice versa for Amy. And those wound up being their “right” places. He believes he was always meant to fall in love with Amy and see Jo as his sister, and that he would’ve gotten to this point naturally even if things had played out differently.

I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan of how the 2019 film portrayed Jo in this situation, because in the book she was absolutely thrilled for Laurie and Amy, and is happily surprised when Marmee tells her she’d been hoping for them to fall in love. But in the film, they take her sadness over her loneliness too far IMO, and make it seem like she was actually bitter over Amy and Laurie being together, which unfortunately fuelled the “Amy stole Laurie from Jo” crowd a bit. And after her conversation with Marmee where she admits that she only wants Laurie because she longs to be loved, and Marmee points that “that isn’t the same as loving”, this makes movie!Jo seem “silly and selfish” as book!Jo puts it (because in the book, that was only a “what if” she entertained and never wrote any letter). 

Anyways, to conclude on all of this, when Amy and Laurie are married at and home, we get the thoughts of other characters on their relationship, and the unanimous opinion is that they’re completely in love and happy with each other. Jo herself insists that their happiness will for sure last, and notes how proud Laurie seems to be to call Amy his wife. Laurie, meanwhile, can’t stop talking about Amy through to the end (and Amy is clearly just as smitten). I dare you to read the last half of Part 2 and not find Amy and Laurie adorable together. 

And to hammer that last nail in the coffin on Jo/Laurie as a romance, we get Laurie meeting Professor Bhaer. It’s specifically noted that while Laurie is suspicious of Bhaer and notices his interest in Jo, it was “not of jealousy” but a “brotherly circumspection”. Amy even asks him if he’s at all jealous and Laurie tells her “I assure you I can dance at Jo’s wedding with a heart as light as my heels. Do you doubt it, my darling?” and it says that Amy’s “last little jealous fear vanished forever”. Laurie actually winds up happily supporting Bhaer once he sees he’s a great guy for his sister Jo, and suggests to Amy that they should try to help them out as a couple.

So no, Jo never loved Laurie romantically, Laurie absolutely did get over Jo, Laurie and Amy are so happy together it’s almost obnoxious, Jo is pro-Amy/Laurie and Laurie is pro-Jo/Bhaer, and Amy wasn’t a second choice, she was Laurie’s “meant to be” by his own words.

[eryiss]

Summary: Freed and Gajeel were total opposites in every way, only connected by the guild. When they were forced to train together under Makarov's orders, they expected antagonism and mistrust. Instead, they were given a lesson in how quickly opposition can turn to attraction. The issue: let the budding relationship simmer away, or let it explode. [Freed x Gajeel Multi-chapter]

Notes: Hey everyone. A bit of an emotional chapter this time, but Bickslow is involved so there’s also some relief. Hope you all enjoy it.

Links: FFN, Ao3, Chapter List

Chapter Nine - Some Time Later

One Week Later

Before the memories hit him, Freed felt a horrible sense of deja vu.

He was in the guildhall infirmary, with almost all of his energy sapped away from him, just as he had when he had first been taken to Fairy Tail. He had a feeling that there was something changed inside of him that would shape the rest of his life, just as he had after the demon had invaded his soul. He had a feeling of yearning, hoping to see someone who was destined to be a part of his life, only to be disappointed to see he was alone again. Everything was so reflective of how it had been when he'd first woken up after his first instance of possession, and it was horrible.

Of course, the memories did eventually come to him. The tournament. The twisted feeling of power that had slowly been seeping into him through the day. The lack of control that had overwhelmed him. The sudden inability to control his body. The feeling of trying to pour his magic into the demon to overwhelm it.

And then, there was Gajeel.

Gajeel had broken down every wall of defence that the demon had in place as if it were nothing. Even with the overwhelming power emanating from the fully unleashed demon, Gajeel had been able to walk towards him, and reach out to Freed. Like a light in the darkness, Gajeel had managed to drag him out of the demon's control and allowed him his autonomy again. He had managed to do something Freed had thought impossible.

The demon was gone. Gajeel had somehow burned the thing from his soul, removing it entirely. They had killed what remained of the demon together in a unison raid moments before Freed had passed out in his arms.

But, despite the importance of it all, that wasn't what Freed was thinking about.

I'm yours and yer mine.

That demon aint got a fucking claim on you.

Yer fuckin' mine.

It ain't ever hurtin' you again, y'hear me. Never

The words weren't subtle. They weren't something you could misunderstand. They weren't anything but a claim on Freed. Gajeel was stating loudly, in front of everybody in the guild - everyone that mattered to them both - that he and Freed belonged to one another.

Perhaps if it was coming from any other man than Gajeel, Freed might have felt fury. He might have felt some level of anger that Gajeel had proclaimed such a thing so publicly without so much as asking Freed, but he only felt a sense of rightness at what Gajeel had said. Of course he and Gajeel belonged to each other. How had that been in any doubt? The moment they had first laid eyes on each other, the motions were put in place to bring them into each other's arms. It was destiny.

Had Freed always been so romantic? Perhaps he had needed the right man to bring it out of him.

"Ah, you're awake," A grouchy, haggard voice cut through the silence. "You certainly took your time, didn't you?"

Freed looked towards the door of the infirmary, to see Porlyusica walking towards him. This too was how he remembered his first experience of living in Magnolia, with the impatient and impetuous woman acting as though his life was an inconvenience for her to deal with. That was something that was familiar, if nothing else.

"How long have I been unconscious?" Freed asked, and found his voice hoarse.

"Nine days," Porlyusica said, picking something up from the small table beside Freed's bed. He didn't know what it was, but it began to glow with healing magic. She turned to Freed and sighed. "Lower your covers and hold still."

Doing as instructed, Freed blushed a little when he realised he was without any clothing. The woman didn't seem bothered, and slowly began to lower the magical item over his body. It was scanning him, and he let out a gasp when the device passed over his heart. There was a sudden flood of warmth through his body, unlike anything he could ever remember feeling before. It was pleasant, but so foreign to him that he didn't know what to feel.

"Ah, good," Porlyusica said, placing the device down again.

"What was that," Freed demanded, pulling up the sheets to protect his modesty.

"I stimulated you, that magic was intended to induce a feeling of comfort and delight," She shrugged, picking up a small piece of paper that Freed assumed had his details on. "You've had that demon eating away at you from the inside for years, so you probably grew used to its influence. It has been slowly dulling your emotions for ten years. You just felt joy like the rest of us do for the first time since your possession."

What?

His emotions had been dulled?

Surely he would have noticed that. The ability to feel how he felt was something that he had always taken for granted, and he never expected it could leave him. Perhaps he had become jaded, but he had dismissed that as growing up and working in a profession where you often saw the worst of people. The demon had been responsible for that, too?

Fuck. Fuck his damn parents and the damn demon and the damn priest who had gotten him into this position. How the hell had he lost so much control of who he was without knowing it? Why had the people he loved allowed this to happen to him. His parents were meant to protect him, not to allow this.

Was this what anger felt like when not influenced by a demon? Uneducated and bitter?

"You'll acclimate," Porlyusica said, as if knowing what he was feeling. "Those friends of yours have wanted to see you since the incident. Annoying brats. I'm going to put you to sleep again, they'll no doubt be here before you wake."

"What?" Freed asked. "No, I don't intended to-"

"Quiet," Porlusica said firmly, and tapped her cane on the floor. "Sleep."

And Freed slipped away before he could protest.

——

"Hey baby," Bickslow's voice woke Freed up before his eyes were open. "Are you feeling okay?"

He didn't know how long it had been since Porlyuscia had put him to sleep, but he woke up in the same bed with the sun higher in the sky. He blinked away the light and saw that Bickslow, Evergreen and Laxus were all sitting around his bed, looking at him with expressions of mingled happiness and concern. He pushed himself off the mattress so he could sit up, wincing at the feeling of aching muscles.

With a quick glance around, he saw that Gajeel wasn't there. That didn't feel good.

"Erm, yes," Freed said in answer to Bickslow's question, his mind not working as fast as he would have liked. "I believe I am. Are you three unharmed?"

"We're not the priority, Freed," Evergreen scoffed a little at the thought, but her expression turned to one of sympathy. It was almost motherly, which was a concern coming from her. Even worse, she took his hand and squoze it as if he needed consoling. "We all saw what happened, now be honest and tell us how you're feeling."

Freed hadn't thought of that. Everyone had seen him weakened and out of control. On the brink of death…

Fairy Tail maged had seen a lot of bad things - it came with the job - but he knew that they always were more affected when it was one of their own being hurt. This could have been terrifying to watch, and he supposed that he owed them some honesty.

"I feel… drained," Freed admitted. "As if I got into the worst fight of my life. Everything is aching, my flesh feels like it's burning from the inside, but no more than normal after a difficult mission," He thought for a moment, moving his arm as if testing that he still could. Of course he could, and the feeling spread warmth though him. It reminded him of what Porlyusica said to him, and he smiled a little. "I'm lighter now. As if a burden has been lifted."

"Well that's good," Evergreen smiled. "And you're not hiding anything from us?"

"Not knowingly," Freed assured them.

"So we can start teasing you about the fact your demon ripped off your clothes and when you transformed back we all saw you naked," Bickslow grinned, and it was a clear attempt to lighten the mood. Evergreen whacked him on the arm, but he just laughed. "Because we all saw your dick, and I gotta say baby, I'm impressed with what you've got going on down there. Don't know how I went so long without seeing it."

Freed chuckled, slightly weakly. "I'd rather not be teased about it, if possible. And I was under the impression that you've started seeing someone."

"I am," Bickslow sighed dreamily, in an overly exaggerated sense of course. "And he's the most handsome man in the world. And he's better than you because he's always getting naked in public and I love it."

Freed laughed. It was good to have Bickslow in moments like this.

Evergreen and Bickslow, as they so often did, started to playfully squabble between themselves. Evergreen had said something about how the PDA between Bickslow and Gray was revolting and far too graphic for the guildhall, and Bickslow argued back saying that Ever only thought that because she didn't have the chance to do it with Elfman because they were still being secretive about their very obvious relationship. The arguments spiralled from there, and Freed watched with amusement.

His gaze drifted from the two squabbling idiots to Laxus, who was looking at him with a quiet expression of concern. When he noticed Freed looking, he curled an eyebrow as if asking if he really was feeling okay. Freed nodded, with a small smile, and Laxus seemed to deflate a little.

"Really gone, huh?" Laxus murmured.

"It seems so," Freed nodded, and that was all that needed to be said on the matter of the demon. For a moment, Freed remained quiet, but there was one thing he needed to know. "Where is he?"

Laxus sighed, ran a hand over his face, and spoke. "You not waking up was getting to him."

"That's not an answer to my question," Freed said firmly. "Where is he?"

"He needed some time away, to deal with everything," Laxus explained. "I'll find him, he'll wanna know you're okay."

"Thank you," Freed whispered, smiling a little.

"No problem," Laxus nodded, standing up.

He walked out of the infirmary without speaking to Bickslow or Evergreen, who clearly hadn't been following their conversation as they both looked perplexed. When Laxus was outside of the building, they could all see an explosion of lightning as Laxus shot off into the sky, apparently having a good idea as to where Gajeel was. Freed certainly hoped so, he needed to see Gajeel as soon as he could.

What was he going to say to him, though? Thank you for ridding me of my curse? Everything you said about belonging together I fully agree with? When you weren't here when I woke up, I realised I always want to wake up beside you?

"Wonder what that was about?" Evergreen commented, speaking about Laxus' departure and bringing Freed's focus back to the room.

"Maybe he's still pissy becuase he and Loke were the losers of the tournament," Bickslow grinned, again trying to keep the mood light. Freed looked at him with a raised eyebrow, because that was something that would certainly distract him. "Shit, you didn't know, huh? Yeah, they didn't work well together at all. It was funny. Lost by a landslide. Laxus wasn't happy about it when I reminded him he has to do a forfeit."

"I expect so," Freed smiled. "Who will be giving him the forfeit, might I ask. I assume you, since I passed out during the fight."

"Me and Gray were deemed the winners, after we were sure you were okay of course," Bickslow assured him. "But we felt it was kinda bullshit. So we thought you and Gajeel could take the money from the prize, and me and Gray get to have fun with the forfeit. That okay?"

"I suppose," Freed chuckled slightly, because almost any other person would want the money. "What have you planned for them?"

Maybe it wasn't the most relevant thing to think about at the time, but Freed wanted the distraction. The lightness of his soul, the revelation that he could truly feel his emotions to their fullness again, and the fact that Gajeel hadn't been there when he woke were all starting to pile up on top of him. A distraction, even a ridiculous one like this, was exactly what he needed. Bickslow seemed to sense this, as he spoke with gusto and joy.

"Well, I wanna have them dress up like old-timey jesters and perform shows every night of a week where they make total asses out of themselves in front of everyone," Bickslow grinned. "And my darling baby wants them to be our butlers for a week and then they have to do everything we say. We haven't decided yet."

"Surely, if you have them as your butlers, you could make them dress like jesters and perform shows as well as anything else you wish," Freed suggested, and Bickslow grinned.

"You're a genius," He exclaimed. "And instead of suits, I'll make sure they're only wearing really tight black briefs and bowties. Really give me something to look at."

Freed chuckled. This was normal, at least.

——

Gajeel needed to keep moving. He needed to keep himself moving and active and his mind away from Freed because the moment his mind did fall onto Freed it would inevitably linger on the fact that Freed wasn't awake and that Freed might not wake up and that something Gajeel had done might have ended up killing the man that had so quickly intertwined their lives together. That was a thought too awful to even consider, so Gajeel had to keep moving.

After three days of waiting for Freed to wake, Gajeel had left Magnolia. Maybe he was a coward to do so, but he didn't care. He found himself walking, and hours later he was in the forest where he trained. The same forest where he had first gotten to know Freed.

It hadn't been a good idea.

He'd been sleeping under the stars ever since. He had exercised and forced his body to the brink of exhaustion every night, because the idea of lying down and letting sleep overcome him was nauseating. He couldn't let his mind wonder because that would mean letting himself think about Freed and he couldn't do that.

Every day, his body ached. He had pushed himself further than he ever had before. He'd ran more laps of the forest than ever, swam across the lake faster and with more purpose than he could remember doing, and he had pushed the dead tree trunk further up the hill than he thought he ever could. It was all in vain, because even in the split seconds his mind might wander from the exercise to Freed, it felt as though he'd been punched in the gut, and horror flowed through him.

He couldn't take any more. Today, his body was beyond moving more than necessary, protesting against the slightest attempt to exercise. That was how he found himself sitting in the shallowest part of the river, cross legged, with his hand turned to a small blade as he whittled away at a piece of wood.

His intention had been to meditate, something he often did. But today, confronting his mind has not been possible, because they made him feel sick to his damn stomach. And so he'd reached for a nearby bit of wood, and started to carve away at it. First it had been to occupy his hands with something to stop himself from fidgeting, but the more he carved the more he got into the rhythm of it, and he quickly realised that he was carving it into something. Something for a very specific person.

A crown. A crown fit for a prince.

And fuck it, when Freed woke up - becuase he would wake up dammit - Gajeel was gonna treat him like a prince. Two weeks ago he'd given Freed shit for being pampered, but now Gajeel would give anything to be the person pampering his spoiled ass that moment. He'd bring him hot tea, make him dinner, massage his damn feet if he had to. Anything to get his prince back to him.

But for now, he had to make the crown. Because once the crown was complete, then Freed would be awake and everything would be fine. It just had to be fine. Yes, it was a ridiculous claim to make, but he had to cling onto something for hope.

He'd make Freed a real crown one day. Metal, infused with gemstones.

Freed would like that. He'd call Gajeel an idiot, but he'd enjoy it really.

Gods dammit, this was so stupid. Gajeel growled and stood up, but kept the half-made wooden crown in his hand. His body protested from the small amount of movement, but he stormed towards a nearby upturned tree that he had been resting on and slammed his fist into the bark. He did it again, and again, not turning his skin to iron so that he could feel the coarseness of the wood grazing his knuckles. He needed to feel something dammit!

"That helping you?" Laxus' voice came from behind him, and Gajeel nearly jumped at the sudden sound as he turned. Fuck, how had he missed the man approaching. "It doesn't look healthy."

"The hell are you doin' here?" Gajeel grunted. He wasn't in the mood for company. "Needed to think."

"I get that, I've been there," Laxus shrugged, leaning against the tree that Gajeel had punched and looking unwilling to move. "But he woke up, asked where you were. Thought you might get pissed off if someone didn't tell ya."

Gajeel paused.

Freed was awake.

Awake, and asking for him.

For a week, Gajeel hadn't allowed himself to think about Freed at all, and the few moments that resolve had slipped he had gone to the worst case scenario. Maybe it was some kind of bullshit defence mechanism, where if he thought only about the bad outcome then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when it happened, but he suddenly realised that he hadn't entertained the possibility that it might be okay.

He wanted to storm back to Magnolia as quickly as he could, but stumbled a little under his feet. His legs were aching and his body objecting to any movement whatsoever. He tried to fight through it, because dammit he could make it through some pain if he got to see Freed, but he nearly fell to the ground. The only thing stopping him was Laxus.

"He's not gonna be happy if you nearly kill yourself getting to him," Laxus said, hooking Gajeel's arm over his shoulder. "The two of you are fucking idiots, you know that. You love each other to the point of self destruction."

"Love?" Gajeel muttered. "He said that?"

"He looked pretty damn heartbroken when he realised you weren't there," Laxus said, slowly walking while helping Gajeel. "It means he loves you."

"Y' think so?" Gajeel asked.

"Of course," Laxus scoffed, helping the aching man traverse the woodlands. "He's not gonna admit it yet, probably convinced himself it's too soon to say it, but it's pretty damn clear. He doesn't show his emotions very well, so the fact he's showing them about you is a big deal. And if any guy could affect him so much to make him fall in love within a week, it's you."

"Really?"

"In a week, you managed to turn hatred into a special bond, you managed to nail a unison raide, you got rid of the fucking demon that's been ruining his life," Laxus laughed. "You're it for Freed. You're the last guy he's ever gonna love because who the fuck could compare to that?"

Gajeel blushed a little. Was Sparky always this complimentary?

"Aint this the point where you say yer gonna kick my ass if I fuck around with him?" Gajeel asked, because he wasn't particularly good with his feelings and Laxus had just said a lot of things that could overwhelm Gajeel if he lingered on them for too long. "Give me the shovel talk or whatever?"

"Why the hell would I do that?" Laxus asked. "I saw how you look at him, I know you're not gonna be a dick or hurt him. And if you do, he'd deal with you himself."

Gajeel certainly agreed with that, his prince by no means needed anyone to fight his battles for him.

He found himself a little happy that he had gotten Laxus' blessing, even if he didn't think he particularly needed it. Laxus was an important part of Freed's life, and Gajeel didn't want to be the reason for any kind of rift between them. He also wouldn't have been surprised if Freed was firmly the type of man who might choose his friends over a new lover, and Gajeel respected that. So to have Laxus approve of them felt good.

"Just be good to him, okay?" Laxus said quietly, helping Gajeel pass over a branch that had fallen. "A lot of people have been shitty to him - more than he realsies - so be in his corner, okay?"

"Of course," Gajeel nodded, because he didn't need to be told that.

"But don't take any shit from him either," Laxus said with renewed volume, and apparently the seriousness of their conversation was over. "He's a cocky son of a bitch and he can pull some shit when you least expect it. If you're gonna be his boyfriend then it's your responsibility to knock him down a peg when he's being an ass."

"Kinda contradictory, don't y' think," Gajeel laughed a little.

"Trust me, you'll see just how much of an ass he can be, and you'll see what I mean," Laxus grinned at Gajeel, and Gajeel felt as though this was Laxus' way of offering Gajeel a way into his life, as well as Freed's. Gajeel grinned back, and they continued walking. After a little while, Laxus spoke again. "Now, you're gonna have to test how much you care for him now. We can either walk back like this, and get there past midnight, or go to the train station and risk a fucking train without his runes to settle our stomachs? It'll be faster, but feel shitty as hell."

"Train," Gajeel said immediately, despite his stomach groaning at the thought. "He's worth it."

——

When Gajeel saw Freed, he almost wanted to cry.

He stormed across the infirmary, and Freed looked towards him with an expression just as relieved as Gajeel was feeling. He didn't stop moving, and wrapped his arms around Freed as tightly as he could in a hug. Freed did the same, apparently his body recovered enough to deal with Gajeel's full strength. For a moment, they both clung to each other as tightly as they could, and Gajeel found solace in the scent of his lover's embrace.

Freed was alive, awake, and here. Everything was okay.

"I'm sorry," Gajeel mumbled into the crook of Freed's neck. "I should've been here when you woke up. I'm sorry."

"You're here now, that's all that matters," Freed whispered, and the hoarseness of his voice made Gajeel feel like shit. Freed seemed to notice, as he pulled away and cupped Gajeel's chin firmly. "I've been tortured by a demon for all of my adult life, and you have gotten rid of that. Not being at my side the moment I woke up is entirely forgivable."

"Should've been here," Gajeel argued, pressing his forehead against Freed's.

"I don't mind," Freed whispered again, leaning up and pressing his lips against Gajeel's in a chaste kiss. "So long as you're here now, I don't mind."

Gajeel leant down further, and pressed their lips together again. He pushed into Freed slightly to deepen the kiss, and his inner dragon purred at the feeling of Freed kissing him again. One night with the man had been enough for Gajeel to know that Freed was special, and that no kiss would be as good as a kiss from Freed. He had been wanting nothing but to feel the man against him again, and to have it finally happen was euphoria.

When they pulled apart, Freed was smiling at Gajeel with a lovestruck expression that looked so good on him. Gajeel would have loved to keep Freed in that moment, because such an expression could only be achieved when someone was feeling bliss. Freed was blissful looking at Gajeel!

"Lie with me," Freed requested. Gajeel didn't need to be told twice.

He maneuvered his tired body into the bed - resisting the urge to make a comment about Freed's nude state - and rested against the headboard. Freed shifted slightly, and leant against Gajeel, nuzzling into his chest with a yawn. So fucking cute.

For what seemed like forever, they stayed like this. Just the two of them, together again and breathing and alive and happy. Gajeel would happily live the rest of his life in that moment, with Freed in his arms and with comfort filling his soul. This was a level of contentment that Gajeel had never felt before, and he was unwilling to let it go. Freed was going to be his for as long as Gajeel could fight for him.

"I meant it, y'know," Gajeel murmured, pressing his lips to Freed's ear. "I wanna be yours. I want you to be mine. I meant everything I said."

"I know you did," Freed smiled, looking up. "I want to be yours too. I want to wake up beside you every morning, and kiss you goodnight every night."

Gajeel couldn't help but grin, lean forward and press their lips together again. Freed was his. He was Freed. In each other's arms, they fell asleep. Content, happy, and in love.

[all-pacas]

okay so here’s my inevitable post about who caleb is “obviously” in love with/pining for/cant be with. obviously i myself have biases (spoilers: i’m gonna he saying nott here), not in the least because it bugs me that people refuse to see it as a likely possibility in the first place.

so. first of all: i’m not worrying about who yasha thinks it is, merely on caleb and his reactions. because even if they have the same person in mind — which they probably do; there’s not a huge pool — it’s caleb who has the feelings.

second of all: it’s not astrid. period. caleb’s meeting with her was tinged with regret and bitterness and finality. he was in love with her fifteen years ago, and she was his first love, but they are both different people who are on very different paths. caleb did love her, but he doesn’t seem to have any intention of seeing her again — his choice, not hers.

that basically leaves us with jester or with nott.

and like.

it’s nott.

nott, who caleb rushes into danger for like he does no one else. who he cannot accept or allow to be hurt or killed. look at his recent reaction to beau’s KO in the cathedral— he was upset! he was happy when she was healed! he hugged her!— but compare it to his utter BSOD freak outs whenever nott is hurt (the dragon), in danger (charging off alone), or dead (wordless and shaking and not breathing).

nott, who caleb has changed his goals and priorities for. he’s been slowly letting up on his drive to rip reality apart for a while — but when nott’s polymorph came around, he completely abandoned his plans for hers. the minute she asked him to help her (something he’s been asking her to do since episode 15 or so), he completely drops his time travel plans to work on her needs. to a lesser extent, we also saw this after felderwin — caleb became the biggest champion of going to xhorhas and rescuing yeza. the first thing he asked for after giving the beacon to the bright queen was yeza. they were talking to her in the first place on nott’s behalf.

he treats her markedly differently than anyone else. hugging her, kissing her, picking her up and spinning her around. he’s always praising her and making sure essek knows how smart she is: he’s not shy at all about it.

he loves her. liam has said the words, caleb has tried his best to let it be known — it’s not up for debate, i think.

but that doesn’t mean it’s romantic love, which yasha’s question absolutely was referring to. okay.

but what we do know is just one episode ago, caleb was overjoyed and thrilled to be instrumental in fixing nott, in helping her — until the moment he realized she might leave as a result. his entire attitude changes. he becomes “shaky” and hesitant.

a while back when nott was struggling with her role in the mighty nein, caleb reacted in much the same way — shaky and hesitant. he avoided her in that case, explicitly admitting to beau he was jealous of yeza, and missed when it was just him and nott, sleeping together at the sides of roads. he doesn’t want to be without her. he recognizes that. it’s not a matter of “i will miss her:” caleb, repeatedly, is happy and affectionate when he’s with nott and immediately becomes pining and withdrawn at the threat of her going away. last episode, when nott was hesitating, all of his reassurances were also about reinforcing their relationship. not, you can be yourself, you can be with your family: this will be our best trick. we’ll be together as always. caleb and nott.

it’s too late? of course it is. nott is married. she has a son. caleb, who lost his family, is never ever going to be the one to cause nott to lose hers. someday, she will leave him to be with them. and all he can do until then is remind her that he loves her (because he does; this is canonically stated) and remind her they’re a team. partners. promise to be with her no matter what. forever. in the hopes that in the end, she won’t leave him after all.

[radonyx]

xiao hui’s development with zhanyi [more specifically jian yi]

I wanted to bring up the development of xiao hui over the course of the story.

when the audience was first shown the appearance of xiao hui, it was a rather neutral appearance. she was one of the many girls who had a crush on zhan zheng xi as a lot of females would flock around zhan zheng xi, offering to ‘lend notes’ from class as a way to get closer to him, often bugging/asking jian yi about him, blushing furiously when he politely puts the hat back on a girl’s head which had fallen when she bumped into him, etc.

a harmless thing and who could blame her (or the other girls) when he is so handsome; what made her stand out from the other females, however, was that the author consistently showed her from the very beginning to express that she clearly had a deeper crush than the others did. zhan zheng xi himself never expressed any interest in them and admitted to jian yi that he is rather uncomfortable/annoyed with such attention from females most of the time, telling jian yi “this kind of thing is annoying” (cough, cuz you gay xi, cough).

despite this, zhan zheng xi remained cordial with the women interested in him. however, xiao hui had become sort of a ‘pest’ in zhan zheng xi’s eyes — for the lack of a better word. zhan zheng xi would do the casual sort of polite rejection most people do in real life where you don’t want to have to flat out reject them because its awkward or you don’t want to appear rude by saying something like “I don’t like you that way. please leave me alone”, so you just try to avoid them until they get the hint. from the beginning of the story she would consistently follow and sort of ‘bug’ zhan zheng xi, oblivious to his obvious hints of disinterest. in the beginning of the story, he even pleads jian yi to cover/hide him from her and pleads with his eyes for jian yi to do something to ‘save [him] quick’ from her, which led the hilarious outcome of jian yi saying they should go pee together.

when xiao hui slowly started to have more of a part in the story, the neutral shed of light was faded slowly faded and became more negative as she became more bitter towards jian yi who was always surrounding zhan zheng xi. readers were shown her complaining about him in her thoughts as she felt he wouldn’t leave xi alone. after zhan zheng xi has avoided her several times, she writes a lover letter to him (which jian yi delivers) but zhan zheng xi chooses not to read. she starts to become a bit more persistent, and tells him she’d wait for him after school to which he tells her ‘thats not necessary’, she also then invites him to her birthday party to which he responds that he doesn’t like noisy places and quickly escapes her. witnessing this, jian yi felt some sympathy towards her.

now while zhan zheng xi wasn’t actually cruel, it’s clear jian yi felt a bit of empathy towards her and could easily imagine himself in her shoes (even though he was jealous). then came the chaos of  people leaking her love letter, which zheng xi hadn’t read, on the school’s bulletin board >>> jian yi finds this out when he overhears a few girls talking about it and he becomes frustrated that zhan zheng xi has become the new hot gossip of the school because of xiao hui’s letter. jian yi didn’t want zhan zheng xi to be involved with any of this type of drama. when he lets this become known to xiao hui, she gets upset and starts hurling homophobic insults his way.

her letter had just been leaked, she’s embarrassed, and she’s jealous and bitter of how close of jian yi is with zhan zheng xi — because of this, she becomes extremely upset in the heat of the moment (does it excuse her comments? no. but that’s where her mind space was at). jian yi explodes because her comment about him being ‘gay’ hits close to home; yet, even when she cries and zhan zheng xi shows up — jian yi encourages zhan zheng xi to go comfort her. but zhan zheng xi doesn’t listen and his first priority is jian yi and how upset he is. he comforts him instead and goes to officially and politely reject her in the best possible way he can, telling her she would meet someone one day who would love her (but implying that it wouldn’t be him). up until this point, she already knew jian yi liked zhan zheng xi as more than a friend, but after zheng xi officially rejects her, she begins to suspect that zhan zheng xi liked jian yi as well. she is still sad, but calms and slowly begins to stop crying. after this, there is a bit of awkward tension between her and zhanyi, more specifically jian yi as she had insulted him so cruelly beforehand. fast forward to later on when she goes to help zhanyi save mo from being framed for something he didn’t do.

she is shaking and sweating. it’s important to remember the last time she saw and spoke to them was not particularly on good terms, and she doesn’t know if either of them have forgiven her for what she said to jian yi. she is nervous and scared of what they think of her and wonders if they will even accept her help — which they do in a heartbeat. jian yi doesn’t appear angry with her any longer and is quick to forgive her. they all help clear mo’s name together and xiao hui’s character starts to have a more positive light shone on her as the story goes on. 

later when she bumps into them at the mall, jian yi actually offers for her to join them out to eat, once again expressing he shows no ill will towards her. she is polite as well, wanting to respect boundaries (a vast difference from her persistent approach in the beginning of the story) saying she hopes she wouldn’t be interrupting them, to which he tells her she wouldn’t. as I said before, it seems that after zhan zheng xi rejected her, she herself realized that zhan zheng xi has mutual feelings for jian yi. it must have been something that has been going through her mind for a while now. we have repeatedly seen how the student body act / react to seeing zhan zheng xi and jian yi together, a lot of them stare in shock and/or amazement, it’s pretty obvious to most people there who have seen them interact that their feelings for each other are more than platonic. It didn’t seem to be as obvious to xiao hui at first but now it seems as clear as day to her. so she finally begins to wonder about zheng xi’s feelings for jian yi.  

she decides to be upfront about it and directly asks “is it jian yi?” knowing full well the answer. she knows already. she knows the answer is yes. she wouldn’t be crying if she didn’t know his feelings for jian yi were mutual. xiao hui is crying because she is heartbroken — the guy she likes and is clearly still not over yet already has strong romantic feelings for someone else, for her it’s like a knife twisting inside her, to know that the suspicions she has been having were true. but we can also see that she is also smiling when she asks if its jian yi, because ultimately i think she does want happiness for the person she likes even if its not with her; just like when zheng xi rejected her, he still wished that someday he hoped she would find someone to make her happy even though he admitted the person for her would not be him. her smile also seems to be a way to provide support for zheng xi, whether intentionally or not, and show that she is okay with it (him having feelings for another man, even though she had said those terrible things to jian yi back then). she finally has some closure to her suspicions and is officially able to move on. 

after this, she hangs out with them for the rest of their trip at the mall and you can with no doubt see that she is no longer bitter as shown below.

after zhan zheng xi admitted to her that jian yi is the person he likes, “is important” and “can’t be replaced”, things have changed. it's clear from the panel above how she doesn’t want to interrupt them because the moment felt so private; so she hides behind a wall, has tears streaming down her face and is blushing at them as she lurks. now that she has accepted that zhanyi only have eyes for each other, she has become a full fledged supporter (and shipper if you will).

in the last chapter, she approaches jian yi to be a model for their music club and jian yi is more than happy to help. they all get along with each other and there is no bitterness or resentment towards the other. 

the development of their whole relationship from the start is very nice to see.

[poisonepel]

Chemistry Between the Dorm Leaders and a Hero-Inspired S/O— (pt.1)

After that Snow White request, I had a small idea... so here are headcanons for each dorm leader with an s/o inspired by the heroes of their respective films. I had some hesitation with both Vil and Leona, since their heroes are the Evil Queen’s stepdaughter and Scar’s nephew respectively... I could get past the Snow White one bc Vil’s so different from the Evil Queen, but the Simba one weirded me out too much ;; so I substituted him for Nala. Sorry !!

Of course, this is disregarding the original characters’ ages and assuming they’re all students at Night Raven, in the same dorm as their villain. Please let me know if there’s a problem with anything though !!

Idia, Leona, and Malleus will come in a second post.

Riddle & Alice

I remember Alice as a bratty, opinionated girl who is dissatisfied with her normal life and prefers to escape to her imagination. Very stubborn, but also very sensible. Pairing these traits with Riddle’s hotheadedness and severe need to keep things under his command, I don’t think they would make a very good match. Alice constantly rolls her eyes at all of his decisions, and blatantly refuses to listen to him if she doesn’t agree with what he says.

It would be extremely difficult for these two to even tolerate each other. Alice sticks out to Riddle because she’s the only one who doesn’t fear him—but that might not be a good thing. He develops a “You will fear me, you will obey me” type mindset, to which she responds with an unimpressed, “Oh, really?”

Riddle gets so fed up with her that he marches down to Headmaster Crowley and demands that Alice be relocated to a different dorm—“She’d be great for Pomefiore, with all the other stuck-ups.” (Dire says no).

As much as she loathes Riddle though, Alice might enjoy some of his nonsensical rules. She hates boring things like order and routine, instead craving the thrill of things unique and unpredictable. Riddle is taken aback when one day she exclaims how much fun she’s having during one of his sudden events, which had annoyed and tired out everyone else. He’s not sure how to react.

He spends a long time thinking about this, and then curiosity gets the better of him; he tries to experiment to see if he can do anything else that doesn’t make her turn her nose up at him. So basically, this is his odd way of figuring out her interests - and he realizes she’s not just automatically appalled by everything he does; she’s simply very opinionated. He might even start to appreciate the fact that she’s got such a strong grip of her views and morals.

It takes much longer for Alice to fall in love with Riddle, though. She has such a great distaste for him that there’s no way she’ll even consider falling in love with him. She would have to catch him in a vulnerable state to realize there’s more to him than simply yelling at everyone all the time - maybe when he’s stressed from school, or sleeping, or witnessing him experiencing true happiness (perhaps with his friends? does he even have friends?) And then she, too, having a natural curiosity, might try to learn more about him.

Tbh, the only thing that might help bring them together is the fact that both of them are way too nosy for their own good.

Azul & Ariel

Like Alice, Ariel is very curious, stubborn, and determined, but she can be a little gullible and naive at times. She’s been sheltered her whole life and Night Raven is the first time she’s been away from home for so long. Azul, on the other hand, is very independent; he’s somewhat of an information broker, good at observing people and seeing what makes them tick - and also swindling what he wants out of them. Naive little Ariel makes a perfect target.

Azul is very gentlemanly and polite, enticing and friendly, so Ariel is immediately swayed. She pretty much falls into the honeymoon phase with him straight away, but not truly in love; she’s just excited to be socializing with a nice boy.

It’s easy for Azul to trap her in a deceptive contract with ambiguous conditions. He doesn’t have any personal interest in her initially, but Ariel responds to his betrayal with vigor and goes above and beyond in trying to void the contract. It is only here that Azul starts taking more of an interest in her, since she’s now causing problems for him and therefore in the way.

But, even he has to appreciate her fierce determination to get out of this contract. He even stops at one point to consider why he’s been trying so hard to prevent her from getting out of it; Ariel is nothing but sweet and pure, so why is he so intent on inconveniencing her? He tries to convince himself that his original mindset is the same as it was before: Ariel was unable to pay the price he had set. Perhaps under misleading terms, but it’s her fault for not reading the contract carefully enough - therefore he can’t give her any leeway until he’s collected his payment. Even so, a part of him feels regretful.

However, Ariel has developed a (rightfully) bitter attitude towards Azul, and even though he understands why, it still leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Witnessing how beautiful of a personality she has has made him rethink his whole view of her - and a part of him wishes they were on better terms.

If Azul was serious about remedying their relationship, it would take a serious amount of effort on his part to regain her trust. Ariel can be naive, but she’s not stupid; and she’s already established that Azul is not an ally. But, in the case that he is able to prove himself to her, then the same elation she had when she first met him would resurface.

For their relationship to work, Azul would need to be the one who’s most committed. He already has a personality Ariel would immediately grow infatuated with, so it really depends on him being able to truly become someone she can trust and rely on - and make sure she knows that too.

Kalim & Aladdin

These two are hopeless idiots together. They come from vastly different backgrounds: while Kalim grew up with basically everything handed to him on a silver platter, Aladdin comes from a poor family and barely scraped by in his youth. They share a common resourcefulness, though, as they both are very talented at making do with whatever situation they’ve landed in (but, Kalim always has the advantage of wealth and power).

While Aladdin might be initially turned off by Kalim’s extravagant wastefulness, he also admires it greatly; much like his canon love for Jasmine, he is struck by beauty and wealth and only dreams about what it might be like to live with such greatness. This overpowers his slight aversion for him.

It’s easy for Kalim and Aladdin to become friends. Aladdin is funny and bright, with a knack for socializing since he’s come across so many people from being in such open, unstable living conditions before. Overall, he’s just very easy to slide into conversation with and feel like you’ve known him forever. Kalim is also very extroverted, but in more of a you-will-pay-attention-to-me-now forceful kind of way. Like Jamil, Aladdin is one of the few people who doesn’t tire out from Kalim’s constant energy & semi-sheltered mindset.

Once they find out their shared extroversion is very compatible, Kamil and Aladdin talk nonstop. Aladdin is a natural storyteller, and loves sharing about all his experiences from his childhood. He had to be very independent and willing to defy authorities in order to secure his survival, while also helping all the other orphans and street rats obtain food and shelter as much as he could. Kalim finds this extremely admirable. To him, Aladdin is almost like a literal prince - he rose from nothing and now is thriving at the prestigious Night Raven College. Also, he seems to have turned out fairly normal for someone who suffered so many hardships as a child.

But evidently, the closer the get, the more Kalim realizes Aladdin is not as normal as he makes himself out to be. His traumas from his youth have and are still affecting him, and once Kalim sees this different, more somber side of Aladdin, he becomes desperate to help him any way he can. He first takes him on a “date.” This isn’t meant to be romantic, just a nice all-expenses-paid trip to give Aladdin something nice.

Jamil is surprised because this is the first time Kalim has ever thought about anyone other than himself. But then, once the “dates” keep happening, Jamil realizes there’s more between them than just Kalim “being nice.” Things might escalate between them both, and while the final trigger for Aladdin was Kalim’s little acts of kindness, there had been something clear between them since the beginning.

Vil & Snow White

This sort of piggybacks off the headcanons I wrote here.

Snow White is sweet and pure of heart, a girl who doesn’t fully realize when someone might be taking advantage of her. She is gentle and sweet when she talks to you, but also doesn’t mind keeping to herself for long periods of time. On the other hand, Vil is vain and proud, constantly needs attention, and keeps his own appearance as his top priority. He always makes sure his connections are up to his own beauty standards too, and if Snow White enters his social circle, this includes her. Fortunately, there’s not much for him to do, because she is already extremely beautiful.

Vil takes interest in her because of her beauty. He feels a bit threatened by it in the beginning, but every time he talks to her, she always, always acts like the nicest, most genuine human being he’d ever met. He gets a little frustrated because he wants to hate her for being so much more beautiful than him, but she’s so ridiculously precious.

Snow White doesn’t mind Vil much. Like with everyone, it’s basically impossible for her to view him in a bad light, and she respects him as Pomefiore’s dorm leader. That being said, he’s not a major interest for her - she has a very tight-knit circle of 3 or 4 girl friends who she spends most of her time with.

Their interactions are usually initiated by Vil. Half the time, it’s because he can’t understand how she’s so nice all the time, so he tries to draw out a negative reaction from her.

But with enough time spent together, the opposite effect happens. Snow White develops a small crush on him. She starts getting flustered whenever he talks to her, and even more fidgety and precious - and even more, starts picking up his little mannerisms and habits. She sometimes points out whenever she notices something’s changed in his appearance.

Then, it’s Vil’s turn to feel flustered. She noticed. She notices whenever he does his hair differently, or when he paints his nails a new color, or when he wears a new arrangement of jewelry. He’s taken aback when his own heart starts fluttering whenever he’s around her, and soon he drops his mission to find fault with her and refocuses his attention on trying to avoid her. He has no time for falling in love.

But now Snow White is the one nervously trying to get his attention. And he's fallen so head over heels for her, he can’t not interact with her - and would feel too bad if he was mean to her. For a while, there’s a lot of tension between them, and Vil feels hideously awkward. He hates it. So he tries to finally confess, as slyly as he can.

Snow White isn’t very good at reading between the lines, but Vil isn’t very good at being subtle when he’s struck by so much emotion - so their feelings for each other come to light very quickly. There isn’t much verbal communication between them when they “confess,” though - Snow is too shy and Vil can’t admit anything unless he’s not being serious. But, if they do establish that they love each other, their relationship would be stable and warm from both parties.

[angelicthor]

billion dollar man - part 13

pairing: tony stark x reader

summary: after mounting bills and debt cause you to look at alternative means of making money, you’re thrown into a whole different kind of life when one of the most famous billionaires on the block offers to be your sugar daddy, of course in exchange for a different from of payment. non-superhero au.

warnings/genre: +18 only, sugarbaby/daddy relationship, fluff, slight angst, nat & wanda centric chapter

masterlist | billion dollar man masterlist

a/n: am i recasting the entire mcu? why yes. yes i am. as always, please let me know what you think! 

The bar you were in was a slight change to the establishments you had recently been frequenting, but it was an old favourite of yours and Wanda and honestly, it was nice to be back, to exchange the extravagant dresses for a pair of worn in jeans and expensive champagne for a bottle of beer.

You were somewhat nervous at bringing Nat here, not knowing how she’d find it but she surprised you when she said she used to come to bars like this all the time before she started her brand and that she had rather missed the atmosphere they provided.

What stunned you more was the fact that her knee wouldn’t stop bouncing with nerves, foot tapping on the floor as she pecked at the label on her bottle whilst you both waited for Wanda to join you.

“Nat would please relax, trust me Wanda’s gonna love you,” You tried to reassure her.

“Sorry, sorry; It’s just – I’m not exactly a people person, and I don’t usually make a great first impression, I mean remember how I acted around you? It wasn’t exactly the height of hospitality.”

“Don’t worry about that, Wanda’s got this…energy – it’s like she can get into people’s minds and put them at ease or something, I swear the girl’s magic. The number of difficult situations she has got us out of is unreal.”

Before Nat had a chance to pry on what kind of difficult situations you two had to wiggle your way out of, your name was shouted from across the bar, your eyes meeting those of Wanda walking through the door with her arms spread wide as everyone gaped at her.

Wanda’s hair fell in thick dark curls over her shoulders, dark eyes sparkling with glee as a devious smirk played on her crimson painted lips, she was adorned in a maroon velvet shawl, a long flowy black dress underneath, her fingers decorated in a multitude of rings and a collection of bangles decked her wrist, tinkling with every movement of her arm. Around her neck was a long silver chain with a Star of David charm dangling from the centre that you had gifted her on her last birthday and she had worn nearly every day since.

“Hey sweetie!” Wanda hollered, Serbian accent still slightly coating her words as she plopped into the seat next to yours, throwing her arms around you as she pressed a kiss to your cheek, no doubt leaving a red stain of her lips on your skin. “You must be Natasha - Y/N told me a lot about you, it’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” Wanda extended her arm for Nat to shake which the redhead readily accepted.

“God what a day, tell me why I’m stuck dealing with the bridezilla from hell? I’ve done nothing in my life to deserve this, ever.”

Wanda complained as you snorted at her dramatics, Nat asking what she did for a living which started Wanda on explaining that she owned her own florist shop in Brooklyn with you interjecting at random points to compliment her work – she did the most amazing floral displays you had ever seen, which unfortunately left her rather in demand.

You let Wanda and Nat become accustomed to each other, asking things you already knew about them both as the three of you sipped on your beers, grinning as you noticed the way Nat’s shoulders lowered and her leg stop bouncing under the table as her nerves left her.

Soon enough, the beer turned to shots of tequila at Wanda’s excited demands, you and Nat laughing at her instance, watching as she precariously balanced a tray laden with shot glasses as she staggered towards the small table you were sat at. You tipped your head back as you swallowed the liquor in one gulp, face twisting in disgust at the burn as you quickly grabbed one of the lime wedges, the sour juices easing the bitter aftertaste of the tequila.  

A slight fog settled over your mind as the alcohol took effect, your thoughts becoming hazy and movements lethargic as you stumbled out of your chair and crossed the bar, stumbling slightly as you made your way towards the jukebox in the corner, struggling to insert the coins before you searched through the hundreds of songs available, a grin tugging at your lips as found what you were looking for.

Nat and Wanda both cheered as Nancy Wilson’s opening rift filled the bar, Ann Wilson’s killer vocals following soon after as Crazy on You began to play, the pair beginning to belt out the lyrics as if it were karaoke, forcing you to join in as you sat back down, ignoring the peculiar looks from the other patrons.

“Let me go crazy on you,” Nat cut off her performance, giggling drunkenly as she eyed you mischievously, “So Y/N, I’ve always been curious, do you go crazy on Tony or does he go crazy on you? I’ve never been able to figure it out, he’s definitely into it either way.”

You choked on your drink, spluttering as you stared at Nat with wide eyes waiting for the inevitable storm coming your way.

“You’re sleeping with him?” Wanda erupted, eyes blazing with rage as you offered her a guilty smile. “You told me it was just for appearances, you never said anything about sex.”

You recoiled as Wanda hissed at you, the fury radiating from her being reminding you just how scary the seemingly docile woman could be.

“Wan, please don’t yell,” You spoke calmly, casting your eyes about the bar to make sure no one was staring at you, “I swear, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just a friends-with-benefits type situation, just with more benefits than usual.”

The underlying worry in her eyes didn’t waver at your words and Natasha, who until then looked sheepish for letting something slip that she shouldn’t have, also joined her in her concern.

“Are you sure? I’ve known Tony a long time Y/N and I’ve never seen him act like the way he is when he’s around you, the way he looks at you – is it really just friendship?”

You gawked as you searched for an answer, mouthing words but no sound coming out as you tried to wrap your mind around what Nat had just told you. You tried to be logical: Tony only acted that way around you because he needed to, he was grateful for what you were doing for him, you two had become friends over the course of your fake relationship and it was fake. But there was a part of you, that stupid rotten romantic heart of yours, that warmed at the thought of Tony wanting more, of feeling more.

“Y/N,” Wanda spoke softly, reaching across the table to place her hand on top of yours, “I just don’t want to see you hurt again, Tony - he just reminds me too much of-”

“He’s nothing like him,” You spat, voice laced with venom at the mention of you ex.

Or perhaps it was the fact that Wanda apparently thought that he and Tony were equals.

You didn’t wish to dissect these thoughts, instead you excused yourself to the toilets, avoiding the anxious stares of Nat and Wanda as you did. Locking the door behind you, you splashed cold water on your face in an attempt to calm your racing heart, resting against the countertop as you bid your thoughts to slow themselves down and allow you to collect yourself.

Back at the table Wanda and Nat were waiting for your return, guilt gnawing at them both for pushing you for an answer you clearly didn’t want to give, but their pressure stemmed from a good place, their love for you their top priority.

“You said you knew Tony well, right?” Wanda asked, Nat nodding her head in affirmation, “Be honest with me, do you think he’d hurt her?”

Nat mulled over the question, trying to find the answer, but it was difficult; she’d never seen Tony in a situation like this before, his dates lasted the night and there was a new one on his arm when she next saw him.

“No, I don’t think so,” Nat answered her after much consideration, “Not on purpose at least; Tony cares about her, more than he realises, but he’s never had a serious relationship before - he may not know how to handle it.”

“If he does hurt her, I’ll tear him limb from limb,” Wanda threatened, voice dropping to a near growl.

“If he does, then I offer you my assistance,” Nat remarked, a dark smirk pulling at her lips before her and Wanda burst into a fit of giggles.

They were still laughing when you came back, the corner of your lip quirking up at the sight of them together, you knew before the night even began that they would get along like a house on fire and regardless of the slight hitch in the nights festivities you were glad of it.

“Hey, did you ever tell Nat about the Billy Russo incident?” Wanda asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.

You threw your head back with an embarrassed groan, burying your face in your hands as Wanda recounted the tale to an eager Nat of the time you saw your then crush on a night out, nerves and alcohol getting the better of you as you ended up retching your stomach contents all down his pant leg much to your horror.

It had taken you weeks to recover from the mortification, refusing to go out with Wanda much to her annoyance and you could feel your cheeks heat up as Nat and Wanda boisterously laughed at the story, fighting off your own smile as you remembered the shock on poor Billy’s face.

More tales were told; most by Wanda, the woman loved a good story, some by you, and some by Nat. You had an inclining that Nat choose her stories with the purpose of warming Wanda up to the idea of Tony, each one she said left you with a soft smile on your face as you vividly imagined your little group of friends and the shenanigans they got up to.

Before you knew it, the night was drawing to an end, Happy pulling up to the curb outside the bar where you were all waiting. Nat’s own driver came for her and she bid you goodnight with a hug before moving to do the same to Wanda, promising you both that you’d get together again soon.

You offered to take Wanda home and she reluctantly agreed, marveling at the interior of the luxury car as you introduced her to Happy. The ride to her apartment was quick and as she was stepping out of the car she asked if you were staying at yours tonight but you decided against it, wanting to go home to Tony’s and check up on him - you had texted him earlier on in the night and he still hadn’t replied, a dark feeling of dread building up in you as your mind conjured a number of unpleasant scenarios.

Home.

You froze when you realised that you considered Tony’s apartment to be more your home than your own did now. You blamed it on the fact that you spent most of your time there, that staying in your own apartment was foreign to you now.

That was all it was.

“Hey Hap, have you heard off Tony tonight? I text him earlier, but he never answered me,” You asked, hoping your voice sounded as casual as you willed it to be, teeth gnawing at your lower lip as your stomach began to twist into knots.

“No, haven’t heard from him. I’m sure he’s fine though, probably blasting AC/DC in his lab way too loud to hear his phone.”

You forced a chuckle at his jibe, knowing that he was probably doing exactly that, but his logic was a poor remedy to your paranoia and it did nothing to calm your growing nerves. The second the car came to a stop outside of the Baxter Building, you bolted from the backseat, throwing Happy a ‘thank you’ and ‘goodnight’ over your shoulder as you rushed towards the entrance.

The in the elevator seemed to take forever, foot tapping on the metal floor in impatience as you waited for the doors to open into Tony’s penthouse, wondering why everything seemed to move so much more slower when all you wanted was for it to hasten.

The doors finally opened into the apartment and you hurried inside, dumping your bag in the hallway as you called out Tony’s name, the lack of response causing your panic to rise before you froze in the doorway to the living room, mouth snapping shut as you silently crept forward.

Across the couch lay Tony, one arm dangling on the floor next to a discarded cushion, the TV still playing in the background, his mouth hanging open as a soft snore resonated from his chest with every exhale. Your heart fluttered at the sight, a soft smile playing at your lips as you watched him get the sleep he so desperately needed, Tony was normally the last to sleep and the first to rise and so this was a rare sight for you and you couldn’t help but think how far he had come from when you had first met him.

You moved to kneel beside him, fingers gently stroking through his short tresses, watching as his eyes flickered beneath closed lids. His phone lighting up on the coffee table next to you drew your attention away, the device reminding him of your text that remained unopened and you picked it up in curiosity, swiping the text away and pausing when you saw what was under it.

A picture of the two of you filled the screen, his arm wrapped around you, lips pressed into your hair as your eyes shut in bliss, basking at the attention. You can’t remember seeing the photo before and you didn’t know which you found more startling: the fact that you were his lockscreen or the way he was looking at you.

Nat’s words came circling in your head like a record on repeat.

I’ve never seen him act like this.

He’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.

The way he looks at you.

You glanced back at the photo on the phone, how both of you seemed so wrapped up in each other, the adoration, the tenderness. The, dare you say it, love.

Your well-rehearsed excuse, the idea that it was all a front, a trick to fool the world felt so weak now. You wondered if maybe it had worked to well, that maybe you had managed to trick yourselves into thinking this relationship was on a platonic basis only when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

You didn’t like these thoughts, they invited unwanted feelings into your heart that weighed it down like a rock in a river. What if Nat was wrong and Tony didn’t feel the same? He was an infamous womanizer and the only reason he had supposedly changed his ways was to keep his company, you’d be foolish to think that you alone could accomplish that.

The darkness clouding your mind evaporated as you glanced back down at Tony’s sleeping form, stroking your fingers over his face as you softly urged him to wake up, bleary eyes staring up at you before a lazy smile tugged at his lips.

“Hey,” he rasped, voice thick with sleep.

“Hey baby, wanna head to bed?”

Tony nodded in answer, swinging his legs over the edge of the sofa as he sluggishly sat up, the both of you stumbling up the stairs towards his bedroom. You readied yourselves for bed in silence, Tony because he was still on the verge of sleep, barely conscious enough to brush his teeth, and you because you were afraid of what you would say if you did try to speak.

You sighed when you finally settled into the bed, the fresh sheets wrapping you in a blanket of serenity, the feeling of Tony’s arms around your waist providing you with a level of comfort you couldn’t quite explain.

Tony pressed a kiss to your forehead, wishing a good sleep before he fell back into the realm of dreams once again. You burrowed your face into his chest, pressing a chaste kiss to the scar that ran down his sternum, pushing your unwanted thoughts to the side as you joined Tony in slumber.

a/n: i don’t have a tag list but if you want alerts please follow @angelicthorwrites and turn on notifications

[bellamygateoldblog]

best and worst relationships?

There’s a lot of varables to consider here, and I’m feeling sick and bored out of my mind, so i’m going the long way round. This is a nightmare to read on mobile, im so sorry.

‘Best’ and ‘Worst’ labels depend on a number of things:

— Story of the pairing

— General intrigue and how enjoyable their dynamic is to watch

— Chemistry of the two (or more) characters

— Presence (or lack of) valuable relationship qualities (is this relationship healthy according to the world it exists in?)

and the importance of each of those differs from person-to-person.

Note: Sticking to popular relationships. I’ve blocked names, but I’m also throwing it under a Read More because it’s long and negative. It’s largely anticlarke because she’s a terrifying character and her mere existence derails most of her dynamics. Ship and like whatever you like, I hate fandom gatekeeping. But you asked so let’s go.

There’s also no order to this. Welcome to chaos land.

Best ‘Best’ List: objectively good relationships

— Linctavia

— Marper 

— Spacekru

— David and Nate Miller

— Raven and Sinclair

Unconditional love, mutual respect and support, found family, would die (and live) for the other. I can’t find fault in them.

Memori

I had a bit more to say about this one because there’s something so highly romantic in two people abandoned by their clan, cast out, finding each other in a literal desert wasteland. Like they’re each other’s oasis. In meeting Emori, Murphy finally found acceptance after spending far too long alone, and being told he was worthless by people who’s approval meant something. And Emori having someone prepared to do whatever it takes to protect her and make her happy is everything I could’ve wanted for her. They’re so deeply in love.

Best List

Becho (pre-season six)

Your local enemies-to-lovers. partnership over co-dependency. Compromise. Affection and emotional support from both sides. Willing to throw themselves right into line-of-fire for the other. A cut ‘i love her’ scene which i’ve personally decided wasn’t cut. I LOVE THEM.

Arguments against:

- ‘killed’ Gina (moreso she aided her death) while acting on orders from her superiors

- ‘killed’ Octavia while acting on orders from her superiors

- killed Ilian/ attempted to help Roan win conclave over Octavia

- almost killed Clarke (season five)

- happened offscreen

Arguments to discredit previous arguments because I’m sick and tired of seeing them in the pro tags:

- Echo was Bellamy’s enemy through those first three listed events. Bellamy had no reason to expect loyalty or respect, or anything else from her. She was always looking out for her people just as Bellamy was his own. That was quite clear.

- In fact she actually tried to help Gina because she was important to Bellamy, apologised that she couldn’t and did save Bellamy’s life despite their enemy status.

- ‘killing’ Octavia was not in cold blood. It was actually an accident.

- This one is nonsense. She wanted to kill Clarke during season five “even though she’s important to Bellamy”…after she just left him to brutally die and held Echo and her family at gunpoint and threatened to kill them. Context matters.

- not a fan of the time jump either, but if you’re able to accept the Madi-Clarke relationship which also developed offscreen, you can deal with this one.

Hard to talk about this one without defending it. Echo deserves better than season six Bellamy, who would abandon her in order to chase a woman he knew for 6-ish months 6 years ago. I say it’s his loss.

Jonty

It was a beautiful relationship and then a beautiful breakdown of one. I really enjoyed their dynamic. About to get controversial and suggest Monty could’ve taken a different approach with Jasper. I’ve never committed genocide and had to learn to live with it while watching my best friend suffer from the decision, but I do have clinical depression and somewhat relate to Jasper. There was this scene, where in the background you see Jasper go to hug Monty goodbye and he avoids it. It was such a small but sad detail. I felt Monty wanted Jasper to deal with his grief in a certain way and got frustrated when he didn’t. Sometimes he could be insensitive and blaming, and i think had there been more communication their friendship could’ve been very healing for the both of them. I think we learn at one point Jasper actually thought Monty was “fine” and didn’t even realise or understand that Monty hurt too. Jasper had this tendancy to only consider his own feelings, and this put a rift between them. Tough love doesn’t work for everyone, and I think Monty’s sometimes cold approach held that rift in place. The simple fact that both sides are so easy to understand and empathise with, and that this gradual undoing of what was once an incredibly strong bond was inevitable, made watching it all wonderfully bittersweet.

Zaven

This was good, but it was so rushed it made me bitter towards them. While it was Raven being thrown with yet another random guy, this did strike me as much more meaningful than her fling with Wick and I think it would’ve been a lovely relationship had it been able to continue. I think this was that love Raven deserved. It’s a damn shame it was used as just another level of torture for her. I think if they had let it develop more naturally and not been so full-on so soon, and of course if the actor hadn’t opted to leave the show, this would’ve been up on my best ‘best’ list.

Dropping this here: being intelligent isn’t actually important when pairing Raven up. Fandom acts like she needs someone “on her level” or “at her speed” (shudders), someone to challenge her, which has always come across as very demeaning of characters with less intellectual capacity, as if they’re less than Raven because of this when they are absolutely not. This mentality also denies Raven of partners that can value her and treat her well just because they aren’t Stephan Hawking. A romance isn’t a competition or a class project. Shaw was good for her, not because of what his brain could do, but because of who he was.

Bellamy and Octavia

This bitch toxic, YEET. I adore it. I really do. It’s such an intriuging and complex dynamic. The poisonous nature of their relationship is neither of their own faults, they’re both a victim of their own circumstances and, in Octavia’s case, a lack of socialisation and, by extension, non-understanding of grey area is also intrinsicaly linked to it. They truely love one another, but aren’t learned in how to show this in healthy ways. Makes that back-and-forth an entertaining watch.

Main grievance:

Beating your brother bloody while he’s chained down and unable to defend himself against you is disturbing and inexcusable in any context, and whether or not you’re grieving is irrelevant.

Neutral List

C//exa

Placing this one here just because i don’t care about this relationship, but did like bits and pieces. I think this one ended before it even started. For me most of it’s appeal is in the gradual moulding of the dynamic and the many phases it went through. I did find intrigue in that journey. However the fact the show reminds me at least a few times a season that Lexa was the one has me digging my heels in. I hate being told what to think.

I don’t really remember it all that well so I don’t necessarily have strong opinions. I know some people do. At this point in the show I was growing more and more annoyed with Clarke, and eventually i went from liking Lexa to being indifferent to her, so a dynamic consisting of them both was the least interesting thing in the world to me by the time it started heating up.

I will say this is probably one of the only significant relationships Clarke has where she doesn’t ultimately have more power than the other half. There isn’t a mechanism there that allows one to use to do harm to the other to advantage themselves; Lexa is the commander, but Clarke is constantly pushing back and Lexa respects and listens to what she has to say. There is literally a shot of Clarke backing the most powerful person on the ground into a table. I think Clarke was a positive influence on Lexa, but during this time Clarke was slipping into worse and worse versions of herself.

Some thoughts:

I found it was innappropriate for Clarke, as a leader of her people who’s primary concern is supposed to be what’s best for them, to have become romantically involved with the commander of the people they hadn’t a stable relationship with, and who ultimately has the power to strip them of all freedoms. It’s so easy for those romantically and sexually charged feelings to cloud and confuse what are extremely important considerations to be made about the people back home. It wasn’t a very responsible relationship.

On the flipside of that, from this relationship Lexa was convinced to grow into peace. Which is quite obviously a positive affect. Though I found it was odd that Clarke, just a random teenage girl from space, would be (successfully) telling the commander how to manage her people when she herself was not at home overseeing the climate of her own. It just has some very weird implications.

Lexa’s betrayal at mount weather, actually a very silly and counter-productive decision, was what forced Clarke to lose her humanity in what was the most traumatic event of her entire life. The fact it was forgiven so easily was hard for me to get over.

M//rphamy

Season five was good for them. It seemed as if they’d grown, were much closer, more respectful, and more affectionate. Then season six happened, and Bellamy was back to treating Murphy like he was beneath everyone. He started again to talk about how therapeutic it would be to hurt him, as he has, physically, many times in the past. Just tearing open old wounds at this point. In season five he reminded Murphy he wasn’t worthless, that he did belong with the group, but in season six he went back on all that, and put Clarke ahead of him at every turn, and prioritied her feelings over his very real pain. They’ve had a complicated history of violence, usually coming from Bellamy’s more hot-headed side.

I put this here because it’s an immensely compelling dynamic. These characters work well together, there’s heaps of chemistry and allure in each of their interactions. It’s just an entertaining time whenever they share scenes. But despite that, I don’t know where I stand with them and I don’t know where they stand with each other as of season six.

Worst List

Be//arke

There is a mess of negative thoughts inspired by this relationship about proportionate to the amount it’s shoved in my face. Clarke is just no good for Bellamy. Is the concise way of putting it.

Here’s a list of some of them which I usually like to bury deep inside my head for sanity purposes:

Ignoring whether or not actions were for the people/the only option and focusing solely on how the relationship is affected by them regardless

- Clarke has a tendancy to view the most important person (pre-season five) in Bellamy’s life as necessary collateral damage. She has brought/almost brought harm to Octavia on multiple occasions, the two most notable being TonDC and the conclave. Both while being on the same side as Bellamy from a political standpoint, and both while his friend who he had reason to expect affirmation, consideration, and loyalty from. Clarke betrays those key values. This happens again in season five when Clarke’s Plan-A solution is to “take her out.”

( this is also what sets her apart from Echo, who was never in the position to make her own choices. Clarke has that agency and control that Echo’s superiors had, but never Echo. )

- and saying that, I think it’s incredibly hard for Clarke to maintain any meaningful relationships being in the position she’s in. How do you have friends when you have to always put them second?

- speaking of the conclave, Clarke held Bellamy at gunpoint in order to prevent him saving his sister’s life. She said she “didn’t pull the trigger” and that was that. All is forgiven. However she did pull the trigger in what was an attempt to scare him into submission so I really don’t even know what to say here. The writers kinda forgot?

- they aren’t equal. They haven’t been co-leaders since season one. He was demoted almost immediately to second-in-command beneath Clarke. Clarke is the leader, the literal head. She makes the choices while Bellamy gets her out of the trouble she usually gets herself into, risking himself and others in the process. It’s a racist trope. It’s the ‘white princess and her brown knight.’ She has agency and power and he’s her loyal soldier, subordinate. Inequality isn’t inherently a bad thing but this power imbalance between them is utilised in harmful ways.

- speaking of “the good knight by his queen’s side,” this comes across as codependency. Clarke relies on Bellamy’s support, validation and loyalty, while ‘the heart needs the head to tell it to beat.’ That’s paraphrased from season six, that’s an actual line in the show. Bellamy needs her to guide him, to “keep [him] centred,” that’s another line from the show. That’s still not enough? He literally tells us in season six that he needs her, and has needed her in the past if his psychosis episode is anything to go by. He has impeccably low self esteem and views himself less than. I mean if you need further convincing of they’re inequality, just look to their places on the ark which are quickly reinstated once it reaches the ground. Clarke is upper class, she’s later the daughter of the chancellor, she comes from a loving family, from one of (if not, the) more well-off stations, she’s educated and she has passions, but Bellamy? From the poorest ark station, raised by an emotionally abusive mother, a janitor, his whole motivation his entire life has been to love and protect Octavia. I think a lot of this devotion he has for her comes from a place of idolisation, of seeing something in her he wants for himself.

- now this ugly trope could also come from an absense of Octavia. The moment they get to the ground Octavia is on a journey of self-discovery. And eventually, she becomes her own protector, and she finds a home in Lincoln. So naturally Bellamy looks for the closest relationship he can find that resembles that old one. It’s Bellamy and Clarke. Now, instead of Octavia, he’s driven by and found purpose in protecting Clarke. In fact, the Clarke-Bellamy dynamic has so many similarities to the Octavia-Bellamy one I can absolutely see the sibling like quality to Be//arke.

- Clarke abandons Bellamy after mount weather. She leaves because she can’t bare the reminder of “what [she] did to get them here.” So she leaves and instead Bellamy is the one forced to see the faces of the 48 every day, reminding him of what he did to get them there. Clarke comes across as completely oblivious in this entire situation. Bellamy and Monty are both written using the word “we” to refer to the mount weather genocide, but Clarke? It’s “I” and “me” every time. It’s as if she truely believes she’s the only one suffering from it, she’s bearing it so they don’t have to, except that isn’t true at all and that fact is so painfully clear. Later she tells him she knew she could leave because the people had him, but who did Bellamy have? He dealt with that weight and that grief alone because the only other person who could possibly understand, the one who pulled the lever with him, ran away. After she had convinced him not to in season one. She then comes back informing him she’d been acting on behalf of her people in Polis, without the people’s own knowledge or consent, but i digress, and he’d just ruined everything. So much for co-leaders. And he blows up at her, and we see how badly this action hurt him.

- In season five she leaves him to die out of spite and took her daughter to the people he saved her from at the beginning of the season. It could’ve been avoided, but she decided to punish him. That’s all it was. Don’t give me none of that “I had to!!!” she screams in season six to mindspace!Octavia. Bellamy was forced into role of father at just 6 years old and has proved time and time again he was prepared to risk it all in order to protect his child, there was nobody more equipped to handle Madi than him and her yelling in his face that he couldn’t understand was perhaps the biggest betrayal of them all.

- In season five she tortured and almost murdered his entire family. After switching sides again at the end of the season, all this pain inflicted was meaningless. You can talk all you want at me about Clarke’s *reasons* but all she did was take the path of most destruction towards the same end-point. It was just unnecessary violence caused because she had this desperation to take the wheel.

- all of this works because the writing is always in Clarke’s favour. The show is framed in a way that makes Clarke sympathetic, emphasises how much causing others pain hurts her, and that means that she’s never held to any of these actions, she might get a stern talking to but she’s forgiven insanely easily and allowed to go on with no actual change.

Pr//ncess M//chanic

Unfortunately, from what i’ve gathered, there’s a lot of racism in this one just as there is in Be//arke. I mean the entire nature of the relationship relies on the elevation of Clarke and the narrative power to demote Raven to ‘second best’ and prop over and over again. Raven, a girl who works her ass off to make most of the victories in the show possible, actually spoke the words “she saved us again” after launching a pod from an exploding planet into space and fixing the ark while space walking. It’s mindblowing. Raven’s (and others’) successes are handed to Clarke on a silver platter and we’re just meant to eat that up and blindly accept that Clarke is our one true saviour. I’m not going into this because it makes me feel sick and Raven deserved better.

Unrelated thoughts:

I don’t see their relationship as friendly at all post-season two. I got the impression Raven actually didn’t like Clarke, but it was all very complicated.

I also think it’s terribly convinient Raven never found out the true nature of Clarke’s relationship with Lexa because I don’t believe she would’ve ever been okay about Clarke again if she had (if the writers were going for realistic).

Madi/Clarke/Abby

Clarke strapped a torture device around her daughter’s neck for means of control and activated it under the guise of protection and that isn’t okay in any world or any context. Madi is a little girl who is dependant on Clarke and Clarke betrayed that trust. Those shock collars were used on her early in the season, she experienced the torture herself and still used it on her child. A lot of Clarke’s more unfavourable and/or unhealthy behaviours and characteristic are also present in Abby, which leads me to believe those are a product of her upbringing. Like mother like daughter, Abby also electrocuted Raven. Abby and Clarke have this strange rival-like relationship and I find it particularly cold, maybe because they’re so similar.

Abby and Raven

Abby has physically harmed Raven more than once. Out of anger and spite, or out of desperation. People hurting each other on this show is pretty standard and while this isn’t as overwhelming a mistreatment compared to others, her hitting Raven while she was acting chancellor was a pretty gross abuse of power. Its a visual display, with Abby’s imposing figure looming over a sitting and emotionally vulnerable Raven. We’re supposed to view this, i think, as mother-daughter. Abby says very early season one that Raven reminds her of Clarke, but she’s never shown treating Clarke in the way she does Raven. I liked the relationship during season one. From then and with Abby’s slow descent into villainy, not so much.

Ontari and Murphy

*She raped him. Next.

Cl//phy

Clarke is a cause/reason, whether direct or indirect, of a huge chunk of Murphy’s suffering, all of which she’s never been held accountable for due to Murphy’s position as undesirable. I, along with Murphy, had to be told she cares about him in season six because her otherwise complete disregard for his life has been pretty apparent.

Notable mention:

Chaining up him and Emori like dogs and promising to sacrifice the woman he loves, against her will, for the greater good after he saved her life. He has to beg her, plead with her and her almighty god complex, and it’s all quite uncomfortable and eery. (She later draws a picture of this event in her sketchbook which is…kinda weird.) And, in true Clarke fashion, she refuses to accept responsibility for this action and hides behind the same old trend of gaslighting and screaming “i had to!!!” I can’t root for a friendship between these two no matter how fun their back-and-forth can be. Especially since I can’t recall a single time they’ve shared a nice moment. Oh, and here’s a post about why Clarke and Murphy will never bond over isolation and survival.

*The clashing of Ontari and Murphy’s personalities was hilarious and I enjoyed watching them on screen together.

[otomates-a]

@awastelandheart​ sent, 💚💜💛💟❤ --listen just give me anything heRE OK re : shipping meme!

💚 - friendship, 💜 - hateship / but can’t stay away, 💛 - hateship - actual enemies, 💟 - friends with benefits, ❤ - romantic relationship 

HAVE THOUGHTS CHOOSE A FLAVOR ANY FLAVOR KJNHKHJNM. there’s also crossover aesths in the farming simulator circle, my blog is a mess u could throw npc side character #56 at me and i’d tell u how that could go.

penny ➥ 💚 , 💟 , and/or ❤ — penny is definitely closed off but she’s also the most open in terms of what her relationship with someone can be. closed off and really isolated, even though it’s hard to break through her shell and make friends with her, once she IS friends with someone she has no trouble transitioning to a place of intimacy ?? so dynamics with her could be anything from a very physical / sexual friendship with benefits kind of thing, to a very chaste friendship / romance, to full on fairytale romance. she’s flexible and has really big dreams for what she wants. in terms of sebastian, they’d prob also get along pretty easily considering the Trauma(TM) aspect. penny wants to run away from pam and her abusive household, sebastian has dreams of escaping to the city, theoretically they could have very big Runaway TogetherTM² vibes. either way definitely think she’d at least end up close friends with sebastian if he exercised enough patience to break through her walls ... she’s very quiet and sensitive. she’s an abuse victim who, unlike alex, is currently trapped in said household with someone she’s terrified of and i just imagine sebastian would be kind enough despite both their mutual lack of skills with people to be delicate with her. good person, shitty situation, they both understand being in that position. side note she has big flower girl bookworm vibes so either which way you swing it interactions with seb and his edgy emo boi brand certainly = fun aesthetics ! priorities ! KJNMHKJNHM.

alex ➥ 💚 , and/or ❤  — alex is a hopeless romantic and he’s also extremely kindhearted despite the haughty / “knucklehead” persona he puts up. he’d never be the type to fall into a friends with benefits situation bc he takes love/romance ... so seriously, nor would he really be the hateship type. obviously he doesn’t hate sebastian anyways, there are maybe like three people in town he genuinely can’t stand and those are all extremes. alex is very much the cliche “first love” option, despite what appearances / reputation may make someone think, esp with sebastian since they’re on opposite ends of the “everyone makes stereotypical assumptions about us” pole lmao. he’s never experienced any form of romance / love, since he was dealing with his mother/father situation and the trauma that left behind that he had to heal from after moving in with george/evelyn. which means if he ends up catching feelings for a guy, he’ll be more surprised than anyone cuz he DOES NOT know that he isn’t straight 😂 both in terms of friendship & romance though, he’s extremely affectionate and honest. goes out of his way to reach out to people and is stubborn enough to keep TRYING even if it’s someone more closed off : ie sebastian. it’s impossible for women to fluster alex, but guys can do it extremely easily, so that’s a fun dynamic on either front ! KJNHMKJMN would 100% be stubborn enough to become determined to pursue sebastian as a friend let alone anything else. he’s the most honest with his feelings & will readily admit to them as soon as he notices them. once he realizes he likes someone either platonically or romantically he’s like a puppy & he WILL try his hardest to be noticed by them i’m crying ... he also has extremely healthy coping mechanisms after spending a lot of time working on himself, so when it comes to sebastian’s situation, he’s especially skilled at ?? just being there for people. helping them, where he can. etc.

haley ➥ 💚 , 💜 , 💛 , and/or ❤ — aside from friends with benefits (bc she’s actually really self conscious about rumors spread abt her during her high school glory days), haley could ... literally be anything, depending on how xyz went ... she’s complicated. at face value would absolutely give the impression of hating sebastian. she doesn’t even like the people in town who are actively chatty, let alone someone who barely leaves his room. but the reality of it is just that she feels lost / unheard by the people around her. no one takes her seriously, she’s like the town joke ... it’s more a matter of whether the two of them ended up forming some unlikely alliance probably based on their bitterness for certain aspects of pelican town and that leading to them eventually being more honest / chill with each other and actually getting to know more about the other. haley’s extremely lonely and has no confidence in herself. used to be the “hot cheerleader with a bright future” but her life ended after she was crowned prom queen and graduated. not because she doesn’t have things she wants to do, but because she doesn’t think she’s good enough to do them and her sister doesn’t support her at all. she feels useless, so she lashes out. theoretically could end up friends / with a romantic interest in sebastian if given time to get to know one-another, or could go in the complete opposite direction if neither of them give one-another a chance and end up with them being at each other’s throats all the time. Or could end up both and them wanting to strangle each other half the time but catching feelings the other half. WHO KNOWS WHERE ANYONE IS GONNA END UP WITH HALEY..............